#breaking bad 4x05

[jesuschristt-thatsaprettyface]

i love that these old men can’t resist adopting jesse because he’s a helpless baby with adhd

[altschmerzes]

drive the wedge

a (very long) slow horses gen fic about kidnapping, trauma, survival, recovery, and what a family is and isn’t

At the end of 4x05, Patrice abducts River at gunpoint. This time, they go to a remote, isolated manor where Frank is waiting for them. The slow horses do not see or hear from River again for almost five months. During that time, Frank does his level best to break River and rebuild him into a tool he can use, with Patrice as his assisting shadow. This… doesn’t really work. In fact, the process ends up breaking not River, but someone else.

Meanwhile, Slough House is on overdrive trying to find a missing colleague who the Park is all to quick to deem presumed dead and rubber-stamp his file as such. Louisa almost quits, and finds an odd solace in working alongside Lamb to try to bring their missing agent home. She is having a bad one - the maybe-loss of her best friend is tearing her apart.

It all comes to a head when Louisa follows a lead that she knows better than to follow. She is meant to be the last blow that destroys River's resolve. It doesn't shake out like that. By the time they're both rescued, it's a long road to recovery. But there is a road, and there's help along the way.

chapter two up now on ao3!

For all that he demands they get moving, Lamb doesn’t actually want to be saying any of what he’s about to have to say. It’s… personal. It’s information about River that even River himself may or may not know at this point. And it’s not that he cares overmuch about embarrassing River — not least because River seems all too happy to embarrass the daylights out of himself on a regular basis — but fuck’s sake, this goes a little beyond embarrassment. This is… deeply personal and painful stuff. He’s digging his hands into River’s exposed belly and dragging the bloody, pulsing mass of his insides out for everyone to see. Still, it has to happen. Lamb has to gut him in absentia, because they won’t get him back if they don’t have every piece of the puzzle. So he says what he has to say as brusquely and neutrally as possible, as if he’s never met the boy whose photo he points to as he says, “Here’s our missing agent.”

[raayllum]

Do you think Callum will do dark magic again?

Oh yeah, not a doubt in my mind. This is for 3 main reasons:

1) You don't have a character say "But beware, if you ever do dark magic again, the darkness will overwhelm and corrupt you" and escalate the stakes of usage unless you're going to go there. It's kind of like how I know Callum is going to be possessed Again at one point (s7 dark my beloved) precisely because he's worried about it and more than that, that he's brought another character (Rayla) into the fold with a decision to make. No reason to have setup and then no payoff

2) Unless Callum does dark magic again, Aaravos can't possess him again. And as previously mentioned, Callum has to get possessed unless they want to throw away multiple episodes (4x04, 4x05, 4x07, 5x04, 5x08, all S6 + orb shots, 6x03) out the window. Ergo, he has to do dark magic again. Setup like this (i.e. Rayla as Callum's light being hinted at in framing in s2 and then much more overtly in s4 before being brought mostly home in s6) always comes back around in some manner, just gotta look for it

3) Viren parallels. Viren and Callum have always had oppositional (arc 1) and then mirrored (switching) foil arcs throughout the show (think Callum with wings vs Viren falling to his death in 3x09, or Viren swearing dark magic off in 5x09 and Callum having opened that door back up again an episode prior, etc). Viren, as stated, had sworn off dark magic saying he would never ever do it again, nor did he want to do it in 6x08 for a multitude of reasons.

However, someone he loved (Soren) as well as the extenuating circumstances caused him to use dark magic as a full on sacrifice that likewise only sacrificed himself. A couple episodes we had Callum 'fix' the hole dark magic had made inside him, but if he's following Viren's path, there's two likely angles: the first is that he, like Viren, will use dark magic even after trying so hard to rid himself of it (the mirrored arc). The second, overlapping angle is that Callum will refuse to sacrifice his heart (switching) because his heart is Rayla.

'I will think of you under every full moon. Please don’t let this hurt too much. But, if it does—if you feel that soft aching—know that that piece of your heart isn’t missing. It’s not missing at all, Callum: I’m carrying it with me! Always.' —Dear Callum

Kinda like how Aaravos demanded that Viren should make the sacrifice in 5x09, and Viren refused vs Rayla demanding that Callum should make the sacrifice in 6x03 (and Finnegrin a bit honestly) and Callum inevitably refusing cause Rayla can't permanently die lmao.

Other:

There's also the unsavoury implication that "restores bodies to spirits" spell Callum did in 5x09 has unique associations with the dark ritual spell Claudia did in killing Sir Sparklepuff that was undeniably dark magic usage.

The coin has been seemingly wiped clean now that Runaan is out (though maybe there's the symbol still on the other side?) but it does make me wonder of a potential plotline where Callum knew ahead of time, or belatedly, that this spell would require something adjacent to dark magic and he's done it, but the corruption Kosmo spoke of is gradual, making him more irritated, paranoid, etc. like the King of a 1000 Eyes that Amaya talked about. I think that'd be really interesting

The indirectness / the fact we'd only know it'd Happened retroactively makes me lean that we'll outright see another blatant usage in S7 since that's more Dramatic (which I've always been in favour of Callum viewing "I get possessed again bc I make a 'bad' choice and hand myself over to Aaravos" as a sacrifice of himself into "i'm already dead so kill me" territory). And if he breaks his promise to Rayla that he won't pick her over the greater good, then she can break her promise to him that she'll kill him (this is exactly beat for beat what I've wanted since s4 dropped and even before tbh)

TLDR; Absolutely Yes. S7 being Book Seven: Dark only adds to this and the stakes / set up are all there. I'm pumped

[morganski-19]

If Maddie Buckley has no defenders I am dead! Deceased, gone from this world.

Because tell me why this character has so much unnecessary hate surrounding her. I cannot search ep 4x05 on here without seeing this one Maddie hate post and it angers me so much.

Maybe this is just because out of everyone in the show, I relate to Maddie the most cause we're both eldest daughters and have complicated relationships with our mothers, but I would stand by this statement even without this.

I swear we need a Maddie begins so fucking bad, because all that we've gotten from her past was from Buck's perspective. I understand why they think they wouldn't need to do one because we already saw her life with Doug in flashbacks and her home life in Buck Begins, but there is still more we don't know.

What about actually seeing Daniel as a child, him getting diagnosed. Buck being born and Maddie slowly realizing why he was at all. Seeing her new baby brother get taken to the hospital just to get a needle stuck in his arm. Like her trauma with Daniel is never fully explored.

Not to mention the series of events that I know would have happened. "Oh why don't you smile, Maddie. I need to see your beautiful smile." "Our strong Maddie, keeping our spirits up." Come on it's right there.

Maddie was their perfect little daughter, so strong during the whole process. From the beginning to the end, she was their strong little girl. So when she acted out, or did what they thought was acting out, she broke that image. Her parents didn't want her to break their image of her.

It's why they hated Doug, not for what he did to her, but what it meant for them. He wasn't up to their standard, fit for their picture. They made a portrait of their life after Doug and anytime that Maddie or Buck broke it, they got angry. They needed Maddie to be the perfect one, and they needed Buck to be Daniel. Two things that are unattainable.

Not to mention that she is the only other person in the house who knew Daniel, and what they lost, so anything that she does to hurt them, they would use that against her. They use her as a sounding board for their grief and their anger about the situation.

Maddie has so much trauma, from her childhood, from her first marriage, and she doesn't always deal with it in the healthiest of ways. But tell me who in this show does. I never understand how people can hate her for what she's done when it's arguably at the same level as some of what the other characters have done, but they get passes.

Long ramble aside, I love Maddie, she's one of my favorite characters on this show, and I will never understand the hate that I see for her.

[alittlehurtwithyourcomfort]

LEGO Monkie Kid Whumplist

Character: MK (voiced by Jack De Sena)

Age Rating: TV-Y7

Show available on Peacock (excluding special episodes)

Genre: Fantasy, Action, Found Family

Plot: MK is a regular noodle delivery boy until one day, he stumbles upon the legendary Monkey King's magic staff. He must learn to master new powers to save the world from evil, while also uncovering the truth behind who he is. (Based on characters from Chinese novel Journey to the West).

Note: This show has amazing animation, voice acting, and characters, it's severely underrated. The seasons get darker and more complex as the show goes on, much like The Dragon Prince or The Owl House do! You don't need to have prior knowledge of Journey to the West, as it explains what you need to know, but it's fun to be able catch a few easter eggs.

(Note on season 5: the animation does have a bit of a downgrade, due to the studio changing. However, in my opinion, the season is still very strong, with some of the best angst in the series!)

TW's: Mild fantasy violence, mild depictions of depression/non-graphic suicidal behavior (mainly in season 5)

List Key:

bold = most whump/best whump/favorite whump moments

(I did not include scene breaks in this list, some tropes listed may occur more than once in their respective episodes)

THIS LIST MAY CONTAIN MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES!

--------------------------------------------------------

A Hero is Born (Pilot Episode): rough fights, briefly presumed dead, emotional

1x01: rough fights

1x02: overworked, stressed, fought

1x03: stressed

1x04: scared (arachnophobia), fought

1x05: trapped in dreamscape/spell, throws up (comedic), scared, stressed, fought

1x06: stressed

1x07: overworked, tired, scared

1x08: fought, worried

1x09: manipulated, rough fights, powers drained, emotional

1x10: rough fights, worried

Revenge of the Spider Queen (Special Episode 1): scared, rough fights, very stressed

2x01: stressed, exhausted, fought

2x02: stressed, fought

2x03: fought

2x04: stressed

2x05: manipulated, terrified, painful magic used on him, screaming, collapsed, choked, traumatized, exhausted

2x06: stressed, bad memories

2x07: emotional, scared, stressed/exhausted, rough fight, bad memories

2x08: cursed (comedic)

2x09: fought, scared, painful magic used on him, groaning

2x10: sparred (comedic), scared, bad memories, painful magic used on him, powers drained, exhausted, terrified, rough fight, crying, briefly unconscious/held, scratched up/battered, emotional

3x01: stressed, emotional, choked

3x02: stressed

3x03: stressed

3x04: terrified, fought, restrained

3x05: no appearance

3x06: overheated and unconscious (comedic)

3x07: none

3x08: none

3x09: stressed, scared, rough fight, collapsed

3x10: terrified for his friend, very rough fight, exhausted, collapsed, very emotional, crying

Embrace Your Destiny (Special Episode 2): terrified, many rough fights, worried, painful magic used on him, stressed, scared

4x01: traumatized, concern for him, guilty, terrified

4x02: stressed, concern for him, fought

4x03: scared, stressful visions

4x04: stressed

4x05: stressful visions, briefly unconscious

4x06: stressful memories, motion sickness (comedic), existential crisis(?), terrified

4x07: terrified, bad memories, very rough fight, painful transformations/losing control of powers, concern for him, collapsed

4x08: scared, painful transformations/losing control of powers, concern for him, very emotional, fought, collapsed, exhausted, helped to stand, in pain, depressed and angry, crying

4x09: very depressed, scared, painful transformations/losing control of powers

4x10: painful transformations/losing control of powers, frustrated, fought

The Emperor's Wrath (Special Episode 3): stressed, bad memories, painful transformations/losing control of powers (justified crashout), very rough fights, exhausted, collapsed, held

5x01: sleep deprived, depressed, concern for him, carried to bed, nightmares

5x02: rough landing, scared, painful transformations/losing control of powers

5x03: stressed, ominous vision

5x04: stressed, painful transformations/losing control of powers, bad memories

5x05: no appearance

5x06: stressed, worried

5x07: tortured with terrible memories, screaming in pain, concern for him, crying, collapsed, hugged, panicking, painful acquisition of powers

5x08: straining powers, weak, collapsed, sobbing, fought, restrained, concern for him, tries to sacrifice himself

5x09: tries to sacrifice himself, very rough fights, scared, extreme concern for him, crying, sacrifices himself/dies

5x10: crying, angry, briefly unconscious, weak, cradled, sobbing, extreme concern for him, hugged

[imminent-danger-came]

So, this parallel, right.

That parallel and the 4x11 shadowpeach fight as a whole:

Macaque: "No that's YOU! You're the one always running off! Looking for more power, more sources of immortality—you're the one who wouldn't quit while were were ahead! Not the great sage, he's got to drag EVERYONE else into his mess!" Sun Wukong: "You're not in this mess, you're still free! Everything I did was for us!" Macaque: "You did it for yourself! You've become like this, obsessive demon! I told you going against the Jade Emperor was a bad idea, but no, Wukong doesn't listen to anyone! He just does whatever he wants! You put yourself here, not me."

(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

A large part of Wukong's motivation to keep getting more power was the freedom of it—the more power you have the easier it is to do whatever you want. It's easier to ignore everyone else and focus solely on yourself. It's also easier to ensure yourself and your loved one's are protected and have the ability to do what they want.

So, a punishment where the great Monkey King is imprisoned and trapped for hundreds of years? It's effective and tragic and fitting. Wukong wanted to have the freedom to protect the people he cared about, and in trying to reach for the power to do that, he completely had his freedom removed. He went from the mountain, to then the circlet, and then all of a sudden he had morals and was bound to those.

And then I think about his end of s3 choice to go face the Lady Bone Demon alone. Once again Wukong was trying to protect his loved ones (not to mention the whole reason he went after the Samadhi fire to begin with was to have the power, the freedom to stop LBD (which in itself is another case of SWK believing he needed to be stronger for such freedom)), but he also wanted to make sure MK and himself both had agency. He didn't want MK to have to fight LBD, and he didn't want LBD to end the world.

This is exactly the sentiment he tells Macaque in the 4x11 flashback:

Sun Wukong: "It's so we don't have to worry about anything or anyone ever again! Just living a lazy life, sitting in the sun, eatin' fruit, and doing whatever we want!"

But where does it all lead him?

To possession, imprisonment. Once again Wukong no longer had the freedom to do what he wanted (which is to protect the people he cares about). Once again in his attempts to help his loved one's, he only hurt them.

This can be applied to his relationship with Macaque, to MK in s2, hell, even Wukong trying to get the map in the first place left him powerless, which then led to him and the gang being imprisoned in 3x02. It's a familiar pattern, one we see with antagonist and protagonist alike.

MK in s2 trained to become more powerful, which in the end only strengthened LBD and forced him and his friends on the run. Mei in 3x12 protects MK by letting herself get captured and placed into LBD's crystal. Mei in 4x05 goes to protect MK, breaking her sword and leaving her vulnerable to being captured by Kui Mulang ("How am I supposed to protect everyone without my sword?"). DBK reached for more power and then became possessed by LBD, hurting his wife and son. Azure reached for the Jade Emperor's power and bound himself to that role, jeopardizing Peng and Yellowtusk in the process.

It's a cycle of reaching for power, endangering others, and then being imprisoned.

So anyways, here's why MK is going to lose control (his agency) next season and hurt his friends with his own- *get's shot*

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

juni's x files liveblog masterpost (s4-s6)

since tumblr only allows for 100 links per post, as i delve deeper and deeper into the x files, i will have to break my masterposts up!

click here for seasons 1 through 3.

click here for seasons 7 and beyond.

this one includes seasons 4 through 6 AND fight the future!

season 4:

4x01 Herrenvolk

4x02 Home

4x03 Teliko

4x04 Unruhe

4x05 The Field Where I Died

4x06 Sanguinarium

4x07 Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man

4x08 Tunguska

4x09 Terma

4x10 Paper Hearts

4x11 El Mundo Gira

4x12 Leonard Betts

4x13 Never Again

4x14 Memento Mori

4x15 Kaddish

4x16 Unrequited

4x17 Tempus Fugit

4x18 Max

4x19 Synchrony

4x20 Small Potatoes

4x21 Zero Sum

4x22 Elegy

4x23 Demons

4x24 Gethsemane

favorite scully moments

favorite mulder moments

favorite duo moments

season 5:

5x01 Redux, Part 1

5x02 Redux, Part 2

5x03 Unusual Suspects

5x04 Detour

5x05 The Post-Modern Prometheus

5x06 Christmas Carol

5x07 Emily (+ More Thoughts Re: Episodes 6 and 7)

5x08 Kitsunegari

5x09 Schizogeny

5x10 Chinga

5x11 Kill Switch

5x12 Bad Blood

5x13 Patient X

5x14 The Red and The Black

5x15 Travelers

5x16 Mind's Eye

5x17 All Souls

5x18 The Pine Bluff Variant

5x19 Folie a Deux

5x20 The End

favorite scully moments

favorite mulder moments

favorite duo moments

fight the future (split into parts!)

part 1

part 2

season 6:

6x01 The Beginning

6x02 Drive

6x03 Triangle

6x04 Dreamland, Part 1

6x05 Dreamland, Part 2

6x06 How the Ghosts Stole Christmas

6x07 Terms of Endearment

6x08 The Rain King

6x09 S.R.819

6x10 Tithonus

6x11 Two Fathers

6x12 One Son

6x13 Agua Mala

6x14 Monday

6x15 Arcadia

6x16 Alpha

6x17 Trevor

6x18 Milagro

6x19 The Unnatural

6x20 Three of a Kind

6x21 Field Trip

6x22 Biogenesis

favorite scully moments

favorite mulder moments

favorite duo moments

[bronx-bomber87]

The Rookie Reviews Season's 1-6 Master List. Will be Pinned To Blog for Easy Access. S6 in a seperate link at bottom of list. S7 now coming Fall of 25’ Due to Mid season premiere.

Top Eps Listed Season's-1-4 Made a ranking list my fave eps for an ask. Wanted to include in this list.

Started: 5/13/23

Last Updated : 10/05/24

Works: 108

Season 1

1x01-Pilot

1x02-Crash Course

1x03-The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

1x04-The Switch

1x05-The Roundup

1x06-The Hawke

1x07-The Ride Along

1x08-Time Of Death

1x09-Standoff

1x10-Flesh and Blood

1x11-Redwood

1x12-Heartbreak

1x13-Caught Stealing

1x14-Plain Clothes Day

1x15-Manhunt

1x16-Greenlight

1x17-The Shakeup

1x18-Homefront

1x19-Checklist

1x20-Freefall

Season 2

2x01-Impact

2x02-The Night General

2x03-The Bet

2x04-Warriors and Guardians

2x05-Tough Love

2x06-Fallout

2x07-Safety

2x08-Clean Cut

2x09-Breaking Point

2x10-The Dark Side

2x11-Day Of Death

2x12 Now and Then

2x13-Follow Up Day

2x14-Casualties

2x15-Hand Off

2x16-The Overnight

2x17-Control

2x18-Under The Gun

2x19-The Q Word

2x20-The Hunt

Season 3

3x01-Consequences

3x02-In-Justice

3x03-La-Fiera

3x04-Sabotage

3x05-Lockdown

3x06-Revelations

3x07-True Crime

3x08-Bad Blood

3x09-Amber

3x10-Man Of Honor

3x11-New Blood

3x12-Brave Heart

3x13-Triple Duty

3x14-Threshold

Season 4

4x01-Life and Death

4x02-Five Minutes

4x03-In the Line Of Fire

4x04-Red Hot

4x05-A.C.H

4x06-Poetic Justice

4x07-Fire Fight

4x08-Hit and Run

4x09-Breakdown

4x10-Heart Beat

4x11-End Game

4x12-The Knock

4x13-Fight or Flight

4x14-Long Shot

4x15-Hit List

4x16-Real Crime

4x17-Coding

4x18-Backstabbers

4x19/4x20-Simone/Envervo

4x21-Mother's Day

4x22-Day In The Hole

Season 5

5x01-Double Down

5x02-Labor Day

5x03-Dye Hard

5x04-The Choice

5x05-The Fugitive

5x06-The Reckoning

5x07-Crossfire

5x08-The Collar

5x09-Take Back

5x10-The List

5x11-The Naked and The Dead

5x12-Death Notice

5x13-Daddy Cop

5x14-Death Sentence

5x15-The Con

5x16-Exposure

5x17-The Enemy Within

5x18-Double Trouble

5x19-A Hole in the World

5x20-S.T.R

5x21-Going Under

5x22-Under Siege

Season 6 Separate Post

[shinelikethunder]

kripke: show creator; seasons 1-5 showrunner; wrote or co-wrote 1x01 pilot, 1x02 wendigo, 1x09 home, 1x16 shadow, 1x22 devil’s trap, 2x01 in my time of dying, 2x22 all hell breaks loose part two, 3x01 the magnificent seven, 3x16 no rest for the wicked, 4x01 lazarus rising, 4x07 it's the great pumpkin, sam winchester, 4x10 heaven and hell (story), 4x22 lucifer rising, 5x01 sympathy for the devil, 5x09 the real ghostbusters, 5x22 swan song, 6x22 the man who knew too much; directed 2x20 what is and what should never be, 4x22 lucifer rising

gamble: seasons 6-7 showrunner; wrote or co-wrote 1x03 dead in the water, 1x12 faith, 1x14 nightmare, 1x21 salvation, 2x03 bloodlust, 2x08 crossroad blues, 2x13 houses of the holy, 2x17 heart, 2x21 all hell breaks loose part one, 3x02 the kids are alright, 3x07 fresh blood, 3x10 dream a little dream of me, 3x12 jus in bello, 3x15 time is on my side, 4x02 are you there god? it’s me, dean winchester, 4x09 i know what you did last summer, 4x17 it’s a terrible life, 4x21 when the levee breaks, 5x02 good god, y'all, 5x07 the curious case of dean winchester, 5x13 the song remains the same, 5x21 two minutes to midnight, 6x01 exile on main st, 6x11 appointment in samarra, 6x21 let it bleed, 7x01 meet the new boss, 7x10 death's door, 7x17 the born-again identity, 7x23 survival of the fittest

edlund: wrote 2x05 simon said, 2x12 nightshifter, 2x18 hollywood babylon, 3x03 bad day at black rock, 3x09 malleus maleficarum, 3x13 ghostfacers, 4x05 monster movie, 4x08 wishful thinking, 4x16 on the head of a pin, 5x04 the end, 5x10 abandon all hope, 5x14 my bloody valentine, 5x20 the devil you know, 6x03 the third man, 6x09 clap your hands if you believe, 6x15 the french mistake, 6x20 the man who would be king, 7x02 hello cruel world, 7x09 how to win friends and influence monsters, 7x15 repo man, 7x21 reading is fundamental, 8x05 blood brother, 8x13 everybody hates hitler, 8x21 the great escapist; directed 6x20 the man who would be king, 7x21 reading is fundamental

[mostdisconcerting]

Bad Day=Binging ScarNash

I had an interesting day today. Not in a good way. So as one does in such a situation, I went back to rewatch ScarNash. Cuz they’re my comfort ship.

This is just me reviewing almost every scene of the episode so I can forget that life exists for a little while🙃

Today I picked 4x04. And goodness I do not regret it one bit.

Starting with Patrick and the fat goose line. I’m sorry but why did that have to be so damn funny. “My fellow punters…” and “copious amounts of whiskey”, with his very Frank expression shifted my mood from stressed to joyful immediately. And I only now noticed that as Patrick and Eliza leave to meet Carter, Eliza yeets a paper in Clarence’s direction (or at least she tried).

I applaud Clarence’s “shit the parents are gonna argue if I don’t step in” senses. We love him for them.

I’m gonna make a rare mention of William, but I felt so bad for him when Ivy started talking about her mom’s gout. If I was eating anything resembling her description, I would gag to no end. Ruined the poor dudes snack.

Watching Patrick panic is probably my favorite part of this episode. Bros just pacing up, down, round and round, trying to think of what to do. (He’s literally just me but toned down and with an adult brain 😂)

That scene at Fallons was perfect. That unanimous “who?”, and the cover up that “we do love a little gossip now and then.”. It’s adorable and funny to see these to be in such sync and in such odds as they are.

Also, idk if anyone else noticed but she’s holding his ARM in the stables scene?! How-wha-why did I not notice that?

Poor Fitzroy. He could’ve had a much nicer career with his father out of the way. He’s known for being his father’s son, this way he could learn to be his own man.

We gotta talk about that cab scene. Literally, Patrick was trying to make things better by saying “it’s not your fault they left”, and just made it worse by adding “it’s mine, I should’ve never left you in charge”. She looked so genuinely offended by what he said, only to be shut down cuz they were literally in the middle of investigating.

Then they just break into Fallon’s office like it’s nothing and start bickering about the resignations again. She said she didn’t fire any of them. And then she admitted to firing multiple. Which is great I guess. So… we have that. Then they just hop through the office when someone comes in. Like. They have no right to be this adorable. Why are they literally my grandparents on steroids.

Turns out the lines about Eliza sulking started in this episode, which clearly adds to why she’s pissed when he spends the entirety of 4x05 just telling her she’s sulking and she should not sulk.

Then we have scene where Patrick’s pacing again. And I don’t blame him for making Eliza nervous too. Like he said “good I don’t see why I should suffer alone” (which is a quote I’ve been using way to much in real life recently lol)

Clarence makes his grand entry with some food and the info that Gibson is here. 🙃

And I’m finally going to end on those last two scenes of them together (cuz I skipped William kissing Eliza)

Them blackmailing Carter was hilarious. I mean, we know both of them were hella nervous cuz he could’ve just gunned both of them down there but that’s whatever. I love the little voice moderations and the expressions Eliza and Patrick pass each other basically saying “he’s agreed, now let’s get the hell out of here before he changes his mind and kills us”

Then we got Patrick praising Eliza. That could’ve played out to be an even more heartfelt scene had Eliza not seen the time and ran off. He looked disappointed, but he seemed to let it go (unlike William would’ve as we know) , understanding she probably forgot to do something .

Makes me sad seeing potential like this being flushed down a toilet.

They’re an old married couple and I love that for them🙃

[lover-of-mine]

I guess I overthink the pattern of the use of different colors with Buck now and I NEED to talk about the use of the orange range of the color wheel in his wardrobe.

Because like, it's the therapy color, is the color he's wearing when we find out he's seeing Dr. Copeland (on 4x02). (Go back to therapy Buck)

But looking for all the colors he wears, I noticed he's wearing a darker shade of it when he first talks to Mackey which is the thing that starts the lawsuit which is interesting when you look at the way Buck's loneliness makes him do stupid shit and yes, the lawsuit happens before the therapy, but the therapy session is literally where he talks about hiding "his true feelings" so the use of the same color he's wearing here is interesting (on 3x04)

Because he turns loneliness into resentment leading to the whole mess with the lawsuit and it all starts in fucking burnt orange. And it's also the color he's wearing in the situation that ends the lawsuit mess, so nice little full-circle moment where he thinks he's not enough without the uniform but saves 2 people without it (on 3x06).

But what are other moments baby boy is in this color?

When he's at madney's apartment stress baby proofing it before he tells Maddie about the therapy but is also very vague about why he needs therapy. And also when he tells Maddie about how she called him sad and lonely and how he's fine but just wants to be "finer" which, you know, doesn't really feel like he's being completely honest. (on 4x03)

Also when he finds out about Daniel and we all know he represses the shit out of that information. And the thing about the scene where he finds out about him is that he's making light of what Maddie's baby box means to him then he gets hit in the face with a 30-year-long lie and he just walks away (on 4x04 and 4x05).

Also when he's lying to Chim about not knowing about why Maddie left. A lighter more yellow shade, but still in the same range.

And outside the family drama, we have the first time we see him and Taylor in what could be interpreted as a date. They're grabbing lunch, no hookups in the bathroom or leaving him with his pants down in a parking lot, just them talking, hanging out. Buck is talking around his point because he needs something from Taylor, I wouldn't say he's hiding true feelings here unless we want to discuss how soon after we see them reconnect, Buck decided he wanted more with her and the hiding thing is him saying she's just a friend, but it's a possibility (on 4x11)

But it is interesting when you pair that with the fact that he was also wearing that color on his first date with Natalia because if we want to talk about Buck hiding his true feelings, that boy being all bashful about his death is definitely high up on the list (on 6x15).

And the second date too, where he's all this is the real Evan Buckley but we can hear the narrator's voice going "this was not the real Evan Buckley" (rip math powers :/) (on 6x17)

He's also wearing it after the blackout when he lets Eddie walk away after he pretty much told him to break up with Ana and Eddie tells him he's doing it and when we see him alone in the loft after (on 5x03).

This particular interpretation of this particular chain of events can absolutely be called a stretch, but, how excited Buck looks asking Eddie if Chris already knows he's going home and the way he walks into the loft looking defeated and the way he says "hey honey I'm home" to the ceiling can absolutely be seen as "this is not the home I want to be in" considering the way Buck is bad with being alone, he just spent 5 days at the station with most of the people he loves and the first thing he does when he notices Eddie in the locker room is to ask about Chris, maybe he was waiting for an invitation from Eddie? Feels plausible to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

He's also wearing it when Taylor kisses him and consequentially when he goes to see Eddie after he wakes up. Because when he's talking to Taylor he's making light of the way he went up that crane and when he's talking to Eddie he's severely downplaying how affected he is about the situation so Eddie won't worry about him (all of the below are on 4x14).

And there's the major I'm hiding how I'm truly feeling moment that he's wearing this color, because he's wearing it during the will reveal.

Because let's be real, Buck is not saying anything about how he's really feeling in this scene, Eddie completely shifts his worldview in 5 minutes but he doesn't say it. He just accepts it.

And that leading to him standing by the door, not going in, watching Eddie and Christopher? Come on.

(Side note, he's wearing this burnt orange/ochre color in every major conversation he has in this episode, except for when he's talking to Carla about how it's all affecting Chris, where he's wearing grey, and when Taylor comes back and they get together, where he's wearing black, so neutral colors in a sense, there's also the uniform but the uniform doesn't count, I think the uniform counts as neutral, except for when he's telling Christopher about what happened when he's wearing red and honestly, I think it's the only bit of the episode that he's being honest about how he feels about the situation which is interesting with the use of color with him)

I'm gonna tell you it's also the color of the couch his mother picked for no reason really I just noticed and felt like sharing lol

I can't think of any other uses of this color so I think this is all for now.

[queerfables]

S04 part the first liveblog

It's kind of cute that Maddie and Chimney are living with each other's siblings during the pandemic

Who is Buck's new ~covid crush?

Honestly I love when this show does jumpscares that have me staring at my screen like :O. The bus coming through the window while they're fighting was great.

May's doing 911 dispatch?? That's so fun and I bet she'll be great at it

Gosh now I like everyone on the bus and I hope they're OK

I'm in love with CJ. Saves a man's life, makes a joke about how he's working on his eye contact

They're all OK!

4x02

Lmfao it's obvious neither Chimney or Buck have ever used a baby monitor before. I have absolutely forgotten to put the receiver down when going to pick up the baby and I knew immediately how to find that kid

Aw Buck's covid crush is actually a therapist!!

4x03

Yeah no there's no way these students' first experience with cadavers would involve them dissecting said cadavers. I took a year's worth of human anatomy in university and never touched a scalpel once.

Delighted by every Buck+Eddie+Christopher scene

Lmfao watching Hen negotiate with a toddler feels reaaaal familiar

Except that her toddler still responds to "swap?"

Omg Buck and Christopher pulling that prank on Eddie, adorable!!

I feel like I missed some kind of crossover event, should I look into that at some point?

4x04

Oh just like I said May is doing a great at this job. She really takes after her mother, I love it

Eddie and Buck are being DORKS at the crime scene it's CUTE

Ok the hell did Maddie tell Chimney about Buck?

Omg Albert just straight up running away so Chimney won't tell him the secret this is amazing

Wow Chimney really is bad at keeping secrets it's very funny

Oh that was a really good scene, the family dinner and Buck's break down. It was sad but really good

Ohhh secret brother!! I actually low-key guessed it was something like that

4x05

Oh Jesus, Buck was the baby they had to try and save their first baby, but he didn't. That explains a LOT.

Wow, this really does explain a buuuunch

Did they always plan this as Buck's backstory because I can't get over how well it clicks everything into place (and some stuff about Maddie too)

Oh Maddie, you should have gone with him

Oh man she nearly did, oh wow, that's crazy

This guy in the hand sanitiser place is hilarious "this [mask] is helping. The fire is not."

Oh, Buck. This is a bad time for you to lose one

oh no everyone's there and helping T_____T

Oh no I'm gonna cry over Maddie and Buck and Buck asking her to tell him about Daniel and Buckley siblings oh no

4x06

Okay one more and then I'll sleep

Lmfao this episode is off to a very entertaining start I love dumb superstition episodes

Eddie stop flirting while you're supposed to be working (jk she's cute)

I was right this episode is GREAT

Plus I greatly enjoy Eddie the skeptic

"Is it a curse or a jinx?" I'm crying at how seriously they're taking it

Who the hell is this guy from the 147

Oh it's a whole thing I see

So glad we got a hijinks episode, delightful

[altschmerzes]

drive the wedge

a slow horses gen fic about kidnapping, trauma, survival, recovery, and what a family is and isn’t

At the end of 4x05, Patrice abducts River at gunpoint. This time, they go to a remote, isolated manor where Frank is waiting for them. The slow horses do not see or hear from River again for almost five months. During that time, Frank does his level best to break River and rebuild him into a tool he can use, with Patrice as his assisting shadow. This… doesn’t really work. In fact, the process ends up breaking not River, but someone else.

Meanwhile, Slough House is on overdrive trying to find a missing colleague who the Park is all to quick to deem presumed dead and rubber-stamp his file as such. Louisa almost quits, and finds an odd solace in working alongside Lamb to try to bring their missing agent home. She is having a bad one - the maybe-loss of her best friend is tearing her apart.

It all comes to a head when Louisa follows a lead that she knows better than to follow. She is meant to be the last blow that destroys River's resolve. It doesn't shake out like that. By the time they're both rescued, it's a long road to recovery. But there is a road, and there's help along the way.

Read Chapter 1 on AO3

[raayllum]

to build on your recent ask, and just to pick your brain a little (gross metaphor, I know), when you said:

"To me, the coins could never have been permanent, otherwise there's very little reason to have them exist. After all, if the parents can't be freed and/or come back, why not just kill them? It'd effect the story the same way... unless they come back." I wonder, in your experience and education in literature, do you think it is feasible/would be an effective avenue of storytelling for the writers to use the (theoretical) inability to free the coined elves as a plot device to teach Rayla about moving on, and that she can't save everyone? she is portrayed as a very determined--and sometimes obsessive--character, and I can recall the writers bringing up her strong devotion to freeing the elves as something that should be questioned (though I do believe this will involve her allowing herself to let Callum/the others help). But, nevertheless, what are your thoughts?

The thing about Rayla is that her determination, and her wanting to save everyone isn't a Flaw, per se. If anything, it's the best thing about her, and the story points that out time and time again (1x03 with the boys, 1x05 with Bait, 1x09 with Zym, 2x07 with the dragon, 3x05 with Nyx): "You have true courage, and a big heart" / "It's because Rayla is a hero. Rayla's brave. She saves people. She does what's right [....] That's what makes her a hero. That's what makes her Rayla."

It's just not only a virtue, as like real people, most of TDP's cast's best qualities are also their worst ones, depending on the circumstance. Callum can also be obsessive with magic, after all (1x04, 2x01, 2x04, 4x02) but that doesn't mean him being a mage isn't his path, or not a Good path for him, particularly when it comes to primal magic. But his persistent, perpetually pushing nature also means he can be impulsive and bite off more than he can chew, unknowingly getting in over his head before it's too late. (Whereas Rayla tends to have a better cognition of her bad odds, but just less concern over them.) If Callum's 'bad path' is being a dark mage, Rayla's 'bad path' is being a loner assassin who takes everything on alone, y'know? Those paths are both from the same places, but there are always more options than the roles they've had enforced on them or have taken up because it feels like they don't have any other choice in war, even if they have/had good intentions regardless.

This also comes back to like, Rayla's relationship with letting go vs holding on. If anything, Rayla has a laser focus on moving on - "We have to keep moving" (1x09) / "Fine, one extra day. One" (2x01) / "Rayla, you're pushing us to move too fast" (3x02) / "I'm fine, Callum, like I already told you [...] We walk away and this never happened" (3x04) - that operates to her detriment, because it's usually when she's ignoring her own pain to prioritize the mission, or putting the mission above most things (other than the boys). If she doesn't linger on her pain/mistakes, she can pretend more easily that it doesn't exist (not "I don't want to talk right now" but "There's nothing to talk about," if you will). Illusions and erasure and all that - very Moonshadow

C: So, uh, yesterday must've been a hard day for you. R: Not really.

We see this even when she comes back in S4 and her attempts to "get things back the way they were" and even her almost complete prioritization of how Callum feels, and very little regard to how she feels (outside of being nervous to see him, which 4x05 quickly reveals is the least of how she's been emotionally damaged).

And this, of course, is because Rayla is very bad, actually, at letting things go. She holds on mistakes, she repeats the same patterns of herself and others who loved but hurt her, and that's why all her self deprecation talk is very similar across the seasons

I messed up. I know I did. (1x02) / You should cut yourself a break. Everyone messes up sometimes, or in my case, all the times. [...] Right up until moment when it really matters. That's when I just, poof, mess it up... And the next thing I know, I've failed. / I dropped it. This is all my fault. I let you both down. I let the world down. (1x09) / I need my friend to trust me, and he doesn't. And I think it's my fault. (2x02 / But every time I tried, I would mess it up, and the next time it was harder, and-- (2x03) / I failed them. It was my fault we were discovered. (3x03) / It's me, and it's all my fault. I failed them. I let them all down. They were right to reject me. I'm not good enough and I never will be. (3x04) / Oh no, I messed up again! [...] This is all my fault. I left him alone. I shouldn't have-- (4x06)

Rayla is someone who is selfless to the point she doesn't know how/when to be selfish, which causes her to be selfish in ways that are extremely detrimental to herself and to the other people around her. In a lot of ways, her inability to move on is an inability to let go of her negative self perception of herself: she fears that failure for her is inevitable ("I'm sure it would've flopped when it was my turn"), she's so terrified of being alone yet continually isolates herself because that seems safer, and because of these negative perceptions, she unfairly punishes herself. For her own mistakes, and for others.

Harrow: I recognize that I may pay the price for our mistakes. / I won't hide in the body of another while someone else pays the price for my decisions. (1x02) Rayla: It will just get tighter and tighter until I lose my hand. But I'm ready to pay that price. (1x06) / But if I die, I'll just be paying the price they should've paid a long time ago. (3x08)

VS

Callum: But you didn't run. They have it all wrong. Rayla: Does it matter? (3x03) Claudia: We're not going to the dungeons, Soren! We didn't do anything wrong. (3x02)

So Rayla wanting to prioritize something over the mission that's not for the good of someone else (Callum, the dragon, Nyx, etc) but for something that she personally wants is a massive departure for her and gives her all sorts of room to grow. However, it remains to be seen if Rayla will view it like that. I could see her see saving her parents as a form of 'redemption' - even though she didn't fail them like, at all, but again: it's Rayla we're talking about. Turning it into a duty would be very on brand. "This is a journey for redemption" and all that, even if like... she doesn't Need to redeem herself.

There's layers there then, of her being 'selfish' (wanting something for herself, it being her family) and of being too 'selfless' again, semi similar to her choice to leave in TTM. Because Rayla's inability to let go is unable to be separated from the way she continually punishes/loathes herself; that's what she can't put down, the mistakes and failures she feels responsible for that she'll destroy herself to try and correct, to ensure she pays the price so that no one else has to. That's why she's obsessive about Viren (protection, punishment, self-martyrdom) and prepared to stay behind at the Storm Spire.

Her choices to save and protect Zym are a little different. She, like the princes, wants to make up for her parents' mistakes, yes, but it goes deeper than that - she truly believes that this is right and has the power to change the world for the better, to break the cycle rather than perpetuate it. To make a difference, not as a trauma response, but in the vein of healing.

TLDR; to summarize, I think Rayla's parents, particularly Runaan, have a great capacity to help her unlearn the harmful patterns they've passed down, whether because she's grown beyond them and can help her parents do the same, or in seeing their behaviour and correcting hers, or in having them realize how they messed her up, and saving her right back.

None of this really touches on how TDP's hero side is staunchly big on protecting the value of the individual, and their right to exist/thrive without prejudice/expectation, by laying yourself down (as opposed to offering up others' lives), but I think that's absolutely a component as well. TDP's hopepunk theme - Breaking the cycle, working towards harm reduction, reconciling rather than reinforcing binaries - are all in favour of saying "you can't save everyone, but you should still always Try" (hi Ezran in 3x04) and I don't think they'd toss that out, either. In a world with magic, they could've taken the concept of the Moon Nexus and Rayla wanting to see them again for the same end (which, in TTM, Rayla doesn't think she can save her parents per se - she just wants to know if they're actually dead or not), but uh. They didn't so yeah, particularly because Runaan living means all sorts of messy feelings for Callum and happy gay reunion elves, them living absolutely holds the most merit for the narrative, tbh

[alaffy]

The Umbrella Academy, Ep. 4x05 – Six Years, Five Months, and Two Days (Spoilers)

Really?  We’re really going out like this?

I can’t believe that a show I said, just two posts ago, didn’t feel rushed has just descended to throwing everything against the wall and seeing if it sticks.  This post will also be short because most of this stuff really doesn’t matter.  The one thing I did like is the ending, because it was such a twist.  Although, I don’t know if there’s going to be a good enough explanation to pull this off.

So, real quick, Klaus manages to sort of help himself by getting a ghost dog to try to attract people to the grave Klaus is buried in, as Klaus tries to dig his way out.  Alison and Claire are able to track Klaus down, hear the dog, and help Klaus break out.

Luther and Diego are sent to the retirement section of the C.I.A.  Luther figures this out and goes to look around.  Diego stays and learns the power of family or some such nonsense.  He calls home to talk to Lila, only to find out she’s not there.  Meanwhile, Luther snoops around and is caught by Five’s boss; who also happens to be part of The Keepers.  In fact, it seems like a lot of agents might also be a part of the group as well.  Luther and Diego fight their way out of the building.

Lila and Five are trapped traveling the Time Subway for Six Years, Five Months, and Two Days.  They decide to take a break at a not totally bad world.  And they start a little romance (bullshit).  The bullshit romance goes on for a year/year and a half.  During this time, Five finds a notebook that tells him how they can get home.  Still, he doesn’t tell Lila for several months.  He finally tells her, they fight, and she says she has to go home because she wants to be with her kids and this thing between her and Five was survival. This is all forced drama for drama sake and I don’t buy it.

Getting one with the actual story.  Viktor and Reginald are able to track down Ben and Jennifer; well they’re able to figure out the hotel they were at.  And it looks like a Fallout game.  This isn’t good.  Viktor is able to get ahold of Ben and tries to tell him what’s going on and that he needs to come back, but Ben hears Reginald in the background and hangs up. His plan is to get to Orlando, where he knows a guy with a plane, and fly away with Jennifer.  They can use the money he’s hidden to survive.

Meanwhile, according to Jean, Sy story checks out.  Gene still doesn’t trust him, especially when it’s clear that Sy knows more about what’s going on than they do.  Gene is able to get Sy alone and threatens him with a gun; telling him to leave.

Meanwhile, Reginald and Viktor (and Reginald’s team) come across a roadblock.  Suddenly, a bunch of armed men come out of the woods and start to shoot.   Reginald’s team is killed and Viktor is wounded saving Reginald.  Viktor is able to dispatch of the shooters and he and Reginald take off.  Reginald tells Viktor that Viktor’s Reginald was wrong to keep Viktor off the team; that he deserved to be on it as much, if not more so, than the rest. Also, it's also very clear that these shooters are much more professional than the outfit Gene and Jean have. The reasons why become clear at the end of the episode.

Ben and Jennifer have to stop traveling because Jennifer is clearly getting sick and starting to break down (uh, chemically).  One of The Keepers see them as the break into a building and inform the main headquarters. 

But here’s the kicker.  Gene goes outside, only to be confronted by Sy.  Gene pulls his gun and Sy stabs him with one of those alien swords.  Sy removes his face and we see that it’s Reginald’s wife.  She then guts Gene’s body and wears him as a suit.  Jean does notice something is off, but that’s when the call comes in about Ben and Jennifer.

So, the question is, what does Reginald's wife want? She's the one who created these two elements. She's the one who sent the siblings to go find Jennifer. And, I'm guessing, she's the reason why people are in possession of so many artifacts from other timelines. But does she want to destroy the world? Or does she have another purpose?

One episode let and I have a feeling I’m not going to be satisfied with the ending; which is too bad because this show, for the most part, has been really well written except for the latter half of this season.   

[taughtdefense-a]

A conversation between @taughtranquility / @recurrere / Miguel Diaz, & Ethan Wilson, circa 4x05. This is canon for Ethan & my Miguel. Just imagine Miguel is sitting next to Ethan instead of Jeremiah, & Ethan instead of Johnny. Nadia & myself may reblog. This is part one. | Part two is here.

Miguel sits down next to Ethan, looking at the taller boy in concern. Ethan has his earplugs in his ears, but his sunglasses are off for the moment. The case is sitting on the ground next to him. They're both sitting outside of Miguel's apartment, with their backs pressed against the wall next to the Diaz's apartment door. After causing two incidences, Ethan had abruptly abandoned Miyagi-Do practice early in a hurry. Miguel took it upon himself to go after his best friend, to make sure he was okay. It's something Ethan silently appreciates. He'd have done the same for Miguel, or Icarus, or Hawk.

"Hey, Eth."

Ethan doesn't mind the nickname; Miguel is one of the people who can use it whenever he wants. Emma, Talia, Hawk, Charlie & Sam are the others. His parents, too, obviously. Ethan even gave Robby permission to use the nickname, too. Ethan has no interest in being within a ten mile radius of his ex-best friend anymore.

"...Hey." Is what Ethan mumbles instead. His voice is weak.

"Are you okay?"

The brunet scoffs lightly, crossing his arms over his chest. Like a light switch, his look of guilt is replaced with frustration. "Christ." He grumbles in exasperation, dragging a hand down his face. "Everyone keeps asking me that. I’m okay. Really."

"You don’t have to do that, dude." Miguel begins quietly.

"Do what?" Ethan responds, keeping his tone flat, pretending like he doesn't know what Miguel is referring to. He's not stupid. Miguel knows he isn't. Still, though, the other boy sighs softly. This version of Ethan isn't the same one Miguel knows like the back of his hand. Understandably, he's concerned. Sometimes, he wishes his best friend didn't close himself off, like he's doing right now. Distance himself emotionally. It's something Miguel noticed he's been doing a lot, lately. It's some type of defense mechanism.

"Lie to me, so I don’t have to worry about you. You lashed out at Sensei LaRusso, dude. You hurt Icarus during sparring, too. Even though neither of those things are something you’d ever do if you weren’t hurting. I'm just... All of us are worried about you."

"I’ll apologize to both of them later." He laughs weakly, pushing a hand through his hair. The laugh sounds more like a sob. Miguel's heart breaks in his chest. He didn't realize how badly Ethan was hurting until this very second. He had a feeling that it was bad, but he didn't understand. It makes him angry. Angry at Robby, angry at Cobra Kai, & Kreese, & that new Sensei, Terry Silver. "I didn’t mean to hurt Icarus." Ethan whispers, his voice so small and so unlike him. It makes Miguel want to hug him. "I just seem to keep fucking up."

Ethan sighs heavily, looking away from Miguel. His shoulders tremble with a sob he forces back. Miguel flinches. "I hate myself for getting so attached to people so quickly. I fucking hate the karate war. It’s only making everything worse."

"Icarus will be fine." He responds gently, placing a hand on Ethan's shoulder. Ethan still doesn't look at Miguel. "He’s tough. Emma & Charlie already forgave you for accidentally hurting their husband, I just know it. I'm sure he did, too. And you’re hurting. It’s normal for someone to lash out like that when they’re hurting. ...Robby hurt you by joining Cobra Kai, didn't he?"

Ethan's next exhale dies somewhere in his chest, & he still refuses to make eye contact with Miguel, who doesn't look away from him. It looks like Ethan's been sucker-punched in the gut. He reaches up to fiddle absentmindedly with the earplugs in his ears. Miguel knows that that's a nervous habit. "...Yeah. I told him I was in his corner, and… and then he just spits in my face. Like that didn’t mean anything to him. Like… I don’t know. Like I... like I don’t mean anything to him." There are tears in Ethan’s eyes. He doesn’t blink them away. "…I fucking hate him."

Oh. ...Oh.

Miguel doesn't look away from Ethan, simply absorbing his words. As soon as he says he hates Robby, it seems like something clicks in his head - like a missing puzzle piece finally found its home. Ethan doesn't want to read his mind, fearing that the truth will crush him, so he doesn't. He gently bumps Ethan’s shoulder with his arm. The other boy doesn't look over at him, but he does blink rapidly, trying to make the tears go away by sheer force of will. It doesn't work. A few tears slip down Ethan's face. He makes no move to wipe them away.

"I don’t think you really mean that." Miguel murmurs, keeping his tone as soothing as he can manage. "And I don’t think Robby's fully himself, anymore. It’s something Cobra Kai does. It turns you into some dark, empty version of yourself. Look at what I did to Robby during the first All Valley. During the school fight, too." Ethan sighs softly, grimacing. He remembers both incidents vividly. Sometimes he wishes he didn't. Miguel still feels so incredibly guilty over that. "If I could take everything back, I would. I know that he & I haven’t ever seen eye to eye with each other, but… you can’t give up on him. I won't let you."