#but also. no one else here formed while having this minimal knowledge of their own source...

[zanzanne]

you know. it just dawned on me...

aside from, how do i put it... those who were prominent in the story i originate from? i don't really. have clear memories of anyone else i supposedly knew. or at least knew about. i suppose i shouldn't be surprised that i don't particularly remember what this body's mind is not familiar with, but... ahhhh...

[eternalflashh]

nahida, irminsul, and representations of cognition throughout: an analysis

As the god of wisdom, it is probably intuitive that Lesser Lord Kusanali is depicted as someone omniscient, uber wise, indomitable in logic and without flaw of reasoning. More often than not, though, throughout the archon quest and story quests, we have been shown some of her shortcomings, from her lack of knowledge in certain aspects, and her susceptibility to certain forms of trickery. In this brief analysis we discuss aspects of human cognition and learning, and compare them to aspects from the story, providing evidence for the contrary—that, perhaps, there is no better representation of wisdom in the challenging nature of Teyvat than a god like her.

(Note: I do not claim to be any sort of expert in the topics I discuss here; this is merely a subjective analysis based on what I've learned of cognitive psychology and observed in canon. And, as with everything else I do, I did this simply because I was bored and I like overthinking things. Read at your own discretion.)

To me, Nahida, Irminsul, and Sumeru's stories are almost like this… super well crafted personification of working human intelligence itself. On a larger, fantastical scale, of course.

We know that the Irminsul is Teyvat’s repository of information—basically the brain. We know that Nahida is a branch of Irminsul, a part of that brain. And, well, this “brain” is actually represented in ways that are almost quite realistic, in many senses.

For starters: one of the most important functions of the brain is that it acquires information—that it learns. It accumulates knowledge, and while neurons do break down (and are not easily replaced, if ever), information is actually quite robust and does not “disappear” easily, besides the natural decay of time. There have been cases where people have lost part of their brains to accidents, yet retain their memories and even cognitive functions intact—the brain is actually far more malleable than one may think.

And in fact, you don’t “unlearn” things. You can’t “remove” things from your mind as easily as you imagine it—most of the time, when you “unlearn” or “extinguish” something, you really are just learning a new association that counters the old one. This new association takes time to develop, and spontaneous recovery often occurs—it takes time to “unlearn” something, or to “relearn” concepts. In life, we often have to correct our false preconceptions (not just in science!) and adapt to an ever-changing world—this constant process of unlearning and relearning and correcting is, essentially, what makes us “wiser”—the more we know, the more we understand. It is a constant growth of the mind. 

Nahida, then, being the deity of wisdom who rules over all knowledge, is a form of being where regular learning processes in cognition are essentially amplified: there is no normal degradation of “memory” (as things are stored in Irminsul reliably); there is no loss of information, and yet Nahida is still able to learn new concepts and understand how they relate to the old ones, revise her understanding based on most recent evidence or events. Basically, she learns quicker than mortals with minimal risk of decay; she is a god, this element of hers (arguably) understandably exists. 

But we also know: Irminsul itself is not perfect. We know that memories of Irminsul have, indeed, been deleted or altered. Of course this could easily be chalked up to the fantasy aspect outside of the analogy, but this could still be explained in terms of regular brain anomalies. Deleted memories could be analogous to memory loss in a sense (anterograde amnesia, cf. retrograde amnesia), while altered memories are, in fact, pretty common in real life—perhaps even more so than memory loss, for various reasons pertaining to heuristics, bias, and preconceptions—even though we tend to not realize it at all, unlike the glaring effects of memory loss.

Putting aside the why’s and how’s for now, memory loss is typically more noticeable than altered memory, but either way, the brain can actually accommodate for memory losses/alterations by bending to fit the “narrative” they previously had. The brain doesn’t like inconsistencies and gaps—it will try to explain something in the most coherent way possible with whatever available facts, which is actually a helpful adaptation to have in case we cannot obtain every piece of data we need. (The phenomenon is most common in terms of visual gaps, but is also prevalent with other senses and also with memory. For more, look up constancy bias.) Though, of course, in the case of memory loss or alteration, this isn’t necessarily a good thing. But in fact, this is what Irminsul does—it restructures itself accordingly with what facts are available, constructing a “coherent” narrative that, as we know, is false.

From this, we’ll be branching out to two points. The first is that Nahida’s existence aligns with this analogy in the sense that the removal of knowledge from Irminsul (of which she is an avatar of) is representative of the “weakening” or “shrinking” of the brain. As mentioned previously, this is not in the physical sense, for the case of the brain—but because Nahida is the physical representation of the abstract brain, then it makes sense that she shrunk during the eradication of forbidden knowledge. She lost all that knowledge gained—it would have mean her “growth” and “learning” has essentially reverted, hence she returns to a “younger” form of who she once was (see Nahida’s 2nd SQ) (though in act 5 of the AQ, it was Rukkhadevata splicing a branch off Irminsul itself, the image still stands that what’s left of the knowledge once forbidden knowledge has been taken away is not much). 

Now what, exactly, forbidden knowledge is, we don’t know yet, but how it affects the brain would not be so much of a mystery—there are pieces of insightful or revolutionary findings that can influence plenty of one’s beliefs, or the way one sees and interprets the world, which would then change the way one process information and generates new thoughts in turn. For example, imagine that one day you wake up with the existence of “blue” gone from your mind. Nothing is blue to you—things that you would once call blue will look greenish-yellow to you, even the feeling of “blue” will simply be called “depressed”, or something else, but nothing in the world will be blue to you. That simple “removal” can change a lot of things from how you perceive to how you describe, which is why the effects of removing forbidden knowledge can take a huge toll, or at least a huge change, on Irminsul—hence the big metaphorical brain, hence Rukkhadevata, hence Nahida.

And second, what happened to “Irminsul” being perfect? We cannot call Irminsul a repository of “perfect” knowledge, i.e., that every information it contains is true to the core, because we know the information stored in Irminsul is faulty and malleable. In fact, Irminsul being “perfect” is with respect to its functionality as a brain, as a system. Theoretically, when exposed to true information, a perfect brain should contain only true information. But we know there are forces beyond Teyvat, ones that Irminsul inherently can’t capture/perceive (e.g. the twins). It’s like us not being able to understand a dolphin’s cries, or the color vision of a shrimp, or anything beyond three-dimensional vision—this is inherently the nature of Irminsul itself to not capture that information (with exceptions I'll come to later). Irminsul is still an essentially “perfect” functioning brain, but inherently not designed to capture that beyond its scope. Which then would make sense why it can be altered or robbed of memories in such a way that it would not “break”—it can self-regenerate, it can still function brilliantly. It thinks it functioning perfectly fine means it’s still intact, when in fact, it has been contaminated with false information without it even realizing.

Back again: this is very much like the brain, like human cognition. Because rational humans make judgment based on the available facts, this becomes a problem when your facts are wrong. Usually, with humans, there is a degree of confidence to which you would know whether what you know is right—but if you have a “perfect” brain like Nahida theoretically does, or at least a very highly functioning one, you would have little reason to question your brain. And that, is in fact, her pitfall.

As we've seen from Nahida's second story quest, because she doesn’t have all the facts, she has to make do with what she knows. And she still does that sufficiently, as her godly capabilities should allow. But she also makes decisions that quite mirror her old ones: wanting to eradicate the remnants of forbidden knowledge herself, willing to lose her power and revert her own evolution in favor of apep’s health. One would not make the same decisions if they’ve learned the catastrophic price for it—Nahida is, alas, uninformed now, so she proceeds to make the same mistakes. If it weren’t for the traveler, Nahida would have so easily fallen into the same rabbit hole again; this is what happens when you “erase” memories, or revert time—you are only bound to repeat old mistakes. 

Here I’d also like to briefly mention that because the traveler did not have a good justification for stopping Nahida (they couldn’t, after all), it’s likely that Nahida would not “learn” why this was a bad idea, if not out of sole trust. As in, without the traveler’s continuous intervention, it is highly likely she would fall into this pitfall of her old mistakes one day… or would she?

Aside from her and Irminsul’s story being a very nicely fitting metaphor to the brain, she actually also represents cognitive strategies very well in her speech & personality, which solidifies in the metaphor very neatly. One major thing I'd like to point out is her constant use of analogy—which may sound like a gimmick or just a random personality trait. But in fact, in cognitive research, analogical reasoning has been shown to be a robust predictor of effective learning and success. So the fact that she often spits out seemingly random analogies out of nowhere isn’t just a random trait, but rather, a sign that she is constantly abstracting commonalities between distinct phenomena and learning about them effectively (in contrast to rote memorization). 

This is, in fact, an incredibly important thing—as you might’ve already realized—because it combats the dependence on memorization, which we’ve seen is a problem given the inherent state of Irminsul and malleable memory! And we’ve seen these analogies play a very important factor in the progression of the AQs and SQs, like when she transcribed the truth about Scaramouche/Wanderer in form of a fairytale to preserve it from being lost to the void, or how forbidden knowledge was altered into a different form—the oozing stuff in the Chasm. This is such an important aspect of Nahida’s character because it shows that she understands that the power of transformation or abstraction transcends that of simple mass erasure, and can be used as a manner of preservation. Quite literally, the power of analogy was used to show Nahida’s expertise not only through merely being knowledgeable, but also through creativity, just as its role is in the world.

And most importantly, it does imply that she realizes the shortcomings of her “brain” aka Irminsul. (I hypothesize it’s either an effect of her memory loss (memloss on a wide scale, like retrograde amnesia, would show “loss” effects instead of adaptation, like the symptoms Nahida exhibited) or Dottore’s intervention of telling her about false skies, that makes her realize how much she doesn’t know.) Perhaps this, even, is what Rukkhadevata meant when she said “you will be a better archon than I”, because she already has ways of overcoming these past cognitive flaws as well. This—this realization that your brain can be functioning perfectly and still be flawed, exactly because of its perfect nature—this is the invisible yet solid distinction between being knowledgeable and being wise. And this is why Nahida is the god of wisdom, rather than just a library that contains every information in the world.

In sum: Irminsul and Nahida is a really nice representation, whether intentional or just by pure coincidence and overreach on my part, of a "perfect" functioning brain in a world of unreliable information, and Nahida's ability to abstract hidden symbols to preserve truths addresses this issue quite admirably. All of this nicely manifests in Nahida through little quirks that may be overlooked, but (I suspect) may be very significant to her character and the development of the future plot. Thank you I am Done

[rindecisions]

A Being of Bad Luck Based on From Hell and Back

Teen+ | 824 | Demon Eddie

Find the rest and more here

Art by @lady-lostmind

Written for @batboysxprompts Friday the 13th prompt | Luck

༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒༒

Contrary to popular belief, angels and demons weren’t enemies. In fact, they intrinsically required the other. Every demonic regiment had a direct angelic counterpart. One side thrived on creation, the other on consumption.

Where the angels of love created pure bonds of intimacy, the demons of lust altered them to a tainted desire, consuming the result. And where the demons of wrath created misfortune, the angels of patience consumed it to promote peace and order.

Typically, these jobs were done in the realm of the dead. Be it in Heaven or Hell, their tasks could be completed with ease without a physical form and without directly interacting with humans. How this was accomplished was an incomprehensible feat and contained knowledge that would be best left for the afterlife.

As a demon of Hell, Eddie was one of millions, and that was just within his own legion. Each demon and angel may have had their own look, just as humans did, but that didn’t make him particularly special. He had a job, as did everyone else. It wasn’t a hard job, and it brought him at least a little joy. Eddie was a Discord, also known as a bad luck demon, meaning it was his job to create minor misfortune.

When Steve summoned him into the realm of the living, that didn’t mean Eddie could take a break from his hereafter job, it just meant he had to get creative. Causing chaos and misfortune while being stuck in a physical body was a bit harder than Eddie had expected, especially when most of his time was spent in Steve’s tiny apartment.

From Hell, he could reach various parts of the globe with minimal effort. Here he was anchored. Thanks to his powers, though, he could make the most of his time by effecting what he could see from Steve’s windows.

One of the things ethereal and infernal beings had to contend with was freewill. Some found it an annoying hurdle, to others it was a stimulating challenge. They were unable to influence a human’s freewill up to a point, and things like possession were unavailable to those that weren't physically in the same realm. The person had to be willing or asleep to some degree in order for them to influence their actions directly, and if the person willed it hard enough, they could break any control. The more powerful the being, the more willpower it took to break the control. Demons like Eddie, well, they were of the weakest variety. Meaning him and his cohorts needed to get creative with their influence.

Bad luck was an interesting subsection of wrath. In and of itself, bad luck didn’t breed wrath, but it was commonly met with it. A puddle on the side of the road or a shine off of a mirror wouldn’t inspire anger by themselves, but if a blinding light encouraged someone to stop in their tracks, just in time for a car to run through a puddle beside them, the resulting splash on the outfit they wore for an interview would absolutely insight frustration, at the very least.

He couldn’t help but smile when there was clear intervention from an angel. Being a demon didn’t mean he was evil, and being an angel didn’t mean they were good. It was simply a case of morals. Eddie had no issues ruining someone’s day, but that didn’t stop him from enjoying when it was ultimately made better as a result.

As anger bubbled up in the man that was splashed, it was quelled when a waiter from a street-side restaurant came running up with some towels. The list of angel legions that could have encouraged that was long, and there’s always the chance that it was purely a human action.

“Ready to watch those movies I picked up?” Steve asked, towel drying his hair as he walked out of the shower.

Eddie spun away from the large window with a wide grin. “Did you get that Beetle-what’s-it movie?” he asked eagerly.

Could Eddie have made the tile under Steve’s foot slick enough for him to slip? Easily, but he didn’t enjoy causing Steve bad luck. Plus, he was stuck living with him. Even if Steve was hot when he was mad, he preferred him happy. Instead, he just caused mischief around him.

He quietly clicked his claws behind his back, and while you couldn’t hear the shout due to the thick walls of the apartment, Steve’s neighbor just fell in the tub while washing her dog.

“Beetlejuice?” Steve corrected with a laugh. “Yeah, I got it.”

“Sweet!” Eddie exclaimed, jumping into the air and staying there. “What about—”

“Ghostbusters Two?” Steve guessed. By Eddie’s bright eyes, he could assume he was right. “Yeah, I got that too.”

“I could kiss you,” Eddie beamed, swiftly flying up to Steve and doing just that.

Steve draped the towel around his neck and smiled into the kiss.

@steddiebang

[the-backspin-alchemist]

1, 3, 4

Gonna answer for Jace, Ace, and Rael, and Dave The Gnoll (because Dave the Gnoll has been a very fun character to play lately

1) Do they get cold easily?

Almost universally no. Jace is sued to being out in the wild, and knows how to keep very warm with minimal effort, Ace has similar survival training and 31st Century futuretech in his outfits to keep him comfortable, and Rael is a Darkling.

Darklings don’t do the whole “warm or cold is biologically uncomfortable” thing, since they’re more or less living incarnations of void.

Oh, and Dave the Gnoll is a gnoll, so he has, like, fur.

And also Dave is also a ranger, so he also knows how to keep warm (or cool) in the wilderness even if he didn’t have fur.

2) How do they warm up when cold?

Ace and Jace both usually make some sort of fire. When that’s not an option, Jace opts for layers and warm drinks, while Ace tends to grab better weather gear for the space he’s in.

Dave usually has fur, and will also start a fire.

Rael doesn’t bother if he’s on his own, because Darklings don’t do temperature, but if need be, he actually has a very limited knowledge of fire/heat magic, and has used it in the past to help keep other guests warm by heating up the air they breathe a bit.

3) Do they wear jumpers (sweaters)? If so do they fit perfectly or are they baggy?

Jace has, kinda, in the past. It’s mostly stuff he’s had to put together to keep warm in the wilds. They tend to be decently form-fitting, because he need to be able to move around.

Ace doesn’t, because sweaters have become more of a fashion statement in the 31st Century due to the way futuretech works in the Space Punks setting, and he doesn’t do the non-edgy fashion thing where he doesn’t look like a space cowboy. (His eventual-girlfriend Robin does, though, and they’re baggy as all heck on her and she looks adorable in them when she’s busy dropping a moon on top of you)

Rael has worn sweaters in the past, but not for the sake of being warm, but for the sake of being hospitable and participating in the culture of the places he’s visited. That’s like his entire thing, is traveling and seeing the universe, and interacting with people because Lilith told him to go do so, and this means that if someone goes “oh you must be cold, here is a jumper” he can’t just go “oh but I don’t get cold so this jumper is unnecessary,” he’s not rude, he’s trying to be friendly and friend accept hospitality when it’s offered so he instead goes “ah yes thank you for this jumper my friend it is quite lovely” (even though he will eventually default to the jacket Zoia got him).

Dave doesn’t do sweaters, they get too many burrs in them as-is and make him too hot.

4) Do they have a favourite hot drink? Tea? Coffee? Hot chocolate? Hot cider? If so, how do they take it?

Jace has made his own cider in the past, out in the wilds. He claims his favorite hot drink is tea, despite his most common hot drink being coffee, but it’s not, it’s warm apple cider.

Ace actually really a joy hot chocolate but the only person that knows this is Robin, and it is one of her biggest bits of blackmail material on him against Clair specifically (since Artemis knows enough embarrassing/bad things about Ace already that him liking Hot Choccy would just seem normal to her)

Mr. The Gnoll can’t have chocolate, but does enjoy coffee. He has to be soaring with it, though, because it makes him hyper.

Rael actually really likes manaleaf tea. It’s something he has a personal stash of, because it tastes different every time but is always pleasant (and it actually does the warm-drink-effect thingy for him like it does for us humans, because for Darklings, they usually get surface temperature and that’s about it. Everything else goes past that into Void™️. Manaleaf sticks around.)

[pseudo-apollo]

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun Made Me Say I Wanted to Drink Bleach: Here's Why

Disclaimer the First: I have only and only intend to read the first volume (45 chapters) of this series.

Disclaimer the Second: I'm writing this to vent my own frustrations and give them form. And because this blog is tiny so I doubt many people will see this post. I'm not trying to do a call-out or start drama with the fandom.

Disclaimer the Third (Final): My gripes with this book are NOT over the sensitive content it contains. I had a good idea of what I was getting into when I picked it up, and honestly it sounded like my cup of tea. Don't worry, I'm not going to bitch about the Geneva Convention violations (lol)

Now, let's jump right in:

This book reads like fanfiction of The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System. From the time when I read the synopsis of the book to the point I put it down for the last time, that was a constant thought running through my mind. After finishing the book, I did the most minimal of research, and what would you know, SVSSS first published in 2014, and The Husky and His White Cat Shizun started publishing in 2017.

I'm not here to make accusations of plagiarism, but...

To set the scene, we have a story about a young disciple from a humble background and his abusive, uptight shizun. There are two other disciples that are central to the story, one of whom is a love interest for the main disciple, the other is a rival. The young disciple is naturally gifted at cultivation as well as being an exceptional cook and stunningly handsome. Despite being orphaned and abused by his shizun, the disciple grows up to be a powerful, ruthless ruler, and uses his power to exact revenge on his shizun, confining and torturing him, but not killing him for a long time.

The story itself properly begins with the death of the main character via self-induced poisoning, who is then transported to a previous point in what could be called the previous timeline. The main character then must do what they can to change outcomes of the story without revealing themselves. The relationship that then evolves between shizun and disciple ends up being more affectionate than in the previous timeline, and conflict arises surrounding who is "supposed" to be the disciple's love interest.

In arguably the first arc of the story, the shizun and disciples set off to gain experience by helping a wealthy man in a small town who is being troubled by a malicious entity. The main character, while remembering this from the original story, uses their knowledge to sound smart, but ends up changing things so they no longer know what is going on. This creates an embarrassing situation where the disciple grows closer to his shizun rather than his fellow disciple who "should" be his love interest. The clue that helps solve the entire mystery ends up being perfume.

The shizun is quite handsome, repeatedly associated with a plant, and presents a very stoic face. Despite his outward calm, he constantly struggles with his complicated feelings toward his disciple.

The disciple uses his good looks to manipulate people, constantly seeks his shizun's approval, and is often likened to a dog in some capacity. He also has a *ahem* sky pillar impressive enough to warrant several mentions.

Now...I feel I've quite made my point, whether or not anyone else agrees with me, I can understand either way. These are the major similarities that I most readily noticed, but there are of course smaller similarities as well that I couldn't fit in, or that I missed. I will end my comparison to SVSSS there.

However, I would be remiss if I didn't bring up the major similarity I also see between The Husky and His White Cat Shizun and Heaven Official's Blessing. The funny thing here, is that both began publishing in the same year, but I couldn't find the months, so clearly these similarities are, in my opinion, more likely to be coincidental. When taken with the other striking similarities to another of MXTX's works, though, I feel it at least worth mentioning, if for no other reason than to stop it rattling around in my head.

As the first "mission" of the story, we find a woman wronged by her lover has become a malicious entity seeking revenge. The transgression relates to marriage and her lover leaving her for another woman. Her actions have caused people to seek the help of our main character and two of the main character's companions. In order to investigate the matter, the main character must dress in wedding garb and they and their love interest end up playing the role of "husband and wife".

And of course, there are other smaller similarities that will go unmentioned, as the smaller the similarity, the more likely it is to be unintentional or coincidental. Much of this could be coincidental, in fact, but taken all together, I hope one can see how throughout reading this book, I was endlessly reminded of things I'd read previously. I was imagining what it may have looked like if it were fanfiction.

I would love to say that's where my issues with the book stop. Really, I'd love to. But here we are, and I'm already this deep into it. The similarities I saw in the synopsis of the book were actually why I bought it in the first place. I figured if I liked SVSSS as much as I did, surely I would enjoy this book that promised much of the same, just darker. I was VERY onboard for that.

However, what I got was something that made me bored and disappointed, while also cringing. It was completely underwhelming from what I expected reading other reviews of the book. Of course it could get more intense, but with how strongly I disliked the majority of the characters, I knew I couldn't continue reading to find out. The only reason I finished reading it at all was

I paid about $11 for it, and was determined to get my money's worth

I was hoping, very sincerely, that it just suffered the common issue of having a rocky and uninteresting start. I wanted to see it get better

Once I came to the conclusion it wouldn't get better, I wanted to see just how strongly it resembled SVSSS so I could make this post and get something out of my time

When the most detailed depiction of graphic events (in my opinion, of course) is during a three-chapter long flashback about a character who doesn't matter where a man is trying to force-feed a young girl an orange, I'm not getting the dark fucked-up mess that I expected. I'm getting excessive backstory for a character I don't care about, and finding myself surprised that this is the scene in the book I find most unsettling.

As I said, it probably gets more graphic later in, but I'm not sticking around to find out. It's also possible some of the disturbing stuff just didn't hit for me, that happens, and that's fine.

For me, it's the unlikable characters on top of non-committal violence and darkness, with cheap, cringe-inducing sequences and too-familiar structure and plot elements done poorly. I kept wanting to like it, but I couldn't. At best, this book had a couple good moments, and that wasn't enough for me. I don't mind irredeemable characters. Irredeemable characters can still be likable, and these ones weren't.

Anyway, this feels like it's getting repetitive and rant-y (if it wasn't to begin with), so I'm wrapping it up here...

My rating for The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (Vol. 1) is:

1/10: Don't Waste Your Money Or Your Time

[diavolosthots]

Could you make a fic about Simeon with his (female) mc having serious period cramps and Simeon taking care of her? Lots of fluff

***REQUESTS ARE NOT OPEN THIS IS FROM LAST TIME***

This got really long so it'll continue under the cut also for reasons these are not fics, but headcanons

Warning: mentions of period

LUCIFER, MAMMON, LEVIATHAN, BEELZEBUB, BARBATOS and SIMEON with an MC experiencing period cramps 

Lucifer:

In all honesty, he refuses to believe that it’s actually that bad for the longest time. People (and by people he means his brothers) fake their pain all the time to get out of doing things, so why would you be any different?

Sees you rolling around the bed, holding your stomach and groaning in pain, tears streaming down your eyes and some sick sadistic part of him actually genuinely enjoys it, but you don’t know that. 

Sighs and pulls you into his lap; daddy’s going to take care of you. In all seriousness though, he’ll straight up ask, “what’s wrong?” “My period… the cramps are so bad…” 

Rubs over your abdomen with his hands and tries to think of a spell to ease your pain because if he can get rid of it with magic, he doesn’t have to deal with this for much longer 

Does find a spell!

But also keeps you in his lap regardless because he kind of likes the idea of you being somewhat helpless and reliant on him so his arms are staying tightly around your waist and he does his paperwork with one hand

Orders take out for you but don’t even think this is going to be a monthly thing

semi-annually lol

Kiss to your head and a little bit of more rubbing while you eat your food, that’s the most you’ll get out of him

Mammon:

Doesn’t think you’re faking it, per se, he’s actually genuinely concerned to see you whining and clutching yourself but he’s …. Kind of dumb when it comes to it. Hear me out:

“The hell’s wrong with ya?” “my period…” “just put a comma instead.” What did he saaAAAYYYY!!!???? 

Please uhm… bear with him. If he is too dumb and your hormones are telling you to swing, please also do that because he deserves it lololol 

You need to explain in GREAT detail what the fuck is going on with you and then he may help you out. 

Brings heating pads, some alcohol because he heard alcohol numbs pain (sad boy hours are 24/7), some chocolate and maybe some cuddles. 

Do not expect him to NOT complain though and he’s DEFINITELY expecting compensation, but not in the form of money. No. He wants an apology for you (probably) yelling at him earlier and maybe some kisses so purse your lips up MC and give him some kith kith please 

A+ cuddles though. He’s a great body pillow 

Leviathan:

Oh no

Oh no no no no no

He can SMELL the blood before it even leaves your coochie, no cap, and he’s preparing for the worst. 

Hides all his precious figurines just in case your hormones act up so bad that you go violent. He can’t have anything happen to his collection.

Smart boy though like he’s right by your side and like, “I saw this in an anime once and I don’t know if it’s correct but I got a heated blanket, some ice cream, pain killers, tissues because you look like you’re crying, some sad anime we can watch because in that anime that I watched, the girl liked to watch sad movies and oh! I got you this plush of henry” 

Kinda hopes you’ll be chill after that and either game with him or let him game but as fate will have it, that doesn’t work

“Levi I want to cuddle with you…”

“Of course, sweety…” He’s looking longingly at his computer but still climbs into the bathtub with you, sweating with the heated blanket but as long as you’re happy right?

“Levi wrap your tail around me too, your arms aren’t enough…”

And he does that too, tightly, around yours and his waist so you’re pressed together.

Blushing the whole time because wow you’re close and you actually want to be with him right now and what even is he supposed to do?! He’s just trying to do everything right, okay, like he’s so scared of messing up on ANY day, but especially on your period. 

Beelzebub:

Comes home from the gym with like 16 take out bags full of 5 boxes each because he’s thoroughly starved 

Hears crying and immediately slams the bedroom door open thinking he may or may not have to murder someone for hurting you because ??? You’re his baby and he’s not going to have you crying. 

“What’s wrong MC ? Are you hurt?” You’d nod and he’d rush to your side, bringing you into his arms but your groaning and maybe even crying won’t stop, “talk to me.” “It’s my cramps… they’re so bad..”

Kind of confused not gonna lie so he just asks what he can do to make it better while rubbing his hands over your back soothingly. 

Once he knows, he gently lays you on the bed and runs out, only to come back with Belphie’s pillow (which OBVIOUSLY has a heating function, just pull on the tail of it), pain killers, all 16 bags of take out, and himself of course. 

Wraps you up in his jacket before pulling you into him and turning Belphie’s pillow into a heating pad, putting it on your stomach. Hands you pain killers and a box of take out (your choice, obviously), and then continues to hold you while he himself eats, too. 

Honestly 10/10 just ask him and he’ll get it 

Takes your mood swings like a fucking pro too like come at him MC, he’s just going to nod along and take you back into his arms anyway 

Barbatos:

The literal BEST at this 

Has everything prepared before you can even cry out from those damn cramps 

Yay for time travel and allowing him to see the future 

Comes with herbal tea, infused with magic that will get rid of your cramps, some cookies, your favorite movie, and a fluffy blanket. 

Definitely took the day off, Diavolo will understand (he won’t, but Barbatos will deal with that later) 

Most certainly caters to YOUR every need for once, just speak the words. Want more cookies? Okay. Another movie? Got it. A back massage? Perfect. For him to finger you until you reach an orgasm? Don’t mind if he does. 

Super chill, super easy going, the literal best. 

Simeon:

He has like minimal knowledge when it comes to the female human body so please bear with him here 

Hears you scream out in pain, thinks the literal worst. Rushes to your side and kneels in front of you, holding your hand until you tell him what is wrong 

Doesn’t know if he’s doing anything right but he brings tea, pain killers, and a hot towel to wrap around your stomach 

If that’s not it, PLEASE tell him and he’ll get whatever else you need immediately. 

Luke probably hears about it and bakes you some food so Simeon will definitely get those to you as well

Leans up against the headboard of your bed and pulls you in between his legs, holding you tightly and just talking to you, or maybe he’s reading some TSL to you, depends on what you want. 

He’s also a really good singer so you could definitely ask for that! 

If you just want some peace, he’s more than happy to hold you while doing his own thing on the side

He honestly just needs communication, please talk to him MC. He can’t read your mind, after all, as much as he likes to pretend that he can. Thank you.  

[baixueagain]

The Gendo & Rei Question, Part III

For the Intro and Part I, go here.

For Part II, go here.

Part III: The Gaze of the Prodigal Son

              Both Rei I and Rei III are “alive” for only a short period, and it is Rei II—the clone active from roughly 2014 through most of 2015—that we as the audience get to know the best. This is also the clone that has the most developed and complex relationship with Gendo, and we learn most of what we know about how Gendo views Rei as a whole from his behaviour with Rei II.

              Rei II and Gendo’s relationship during 2014-15—especially how they feel about it for themselves—is nevertheless one of the more difficult relationships to understand, since they’re two of the most mysterious characters in Evangelion. We rarely get glimpses into Rei’s point of view, and Gendo only truly speaks about his own emotional and psychological state in the final moments of his life during EoE. Even then, he only speaks of his feelings about Yui and Shinji, not Rei. In fact, he virtually never speaks to others about Rei unless he is talking about her involvement with piloting or the HIP. We only get a few glimpses of their direct interactions, and while these are highly charged with multiple layers of innuendo, those same layers of innuendo make the situation all the more opaque.

              One of the best perspectives we have on Gendo and Rei’s relationship, I argue, comes from Shinji. Granted, he’s the main character and most of the story of Evangelion is told from his point of view, but his perception of Gendo and Rei is just as valuable for another reason: he’s an outsider. NERV is by its very nature a place of secrecy and high strangeness, and it stands to reason that most of the people working there have long since become desensitized to their Commander’s odd personality quirks and the strange, solemn girl serving as his first pilot. Even Misato, who has only just recently started working in Tokyo-3 proper, has been in NERV/Gehirn’s general orbit since her childhood and thus seems fairly used to Gendo Ikari’s personality and the odd way things are done under his supervision. But now we have Shinji in the picture, who’s had minimal contact with his father and who has spent most of his life in the “normal” world, sequestered from the truth of the family business. His perspective is that of the everyman, and he is thus primed to see the unusual parts of NERV that other characters take for granted. Moreover, unlike virtually everyone else at NERV (except for Ritsuko, whose perspective I will be addressing in the future), he is uniquely invested in both Gendo and Rei as people: Gendo being his estranged father, and Rei being his co-pilot and thus someone with whom he feels a sense of camaraderie (even if he barely knows her).

              Shinji arrives at NERV shortly after Rei has a serious accident—one that he does not yet know about. His first-ever interaction with Rei happens in tandem with his first interaction with Gendo in years, and this consists of Gendo dangling a wounded, crying girl over Shinji’s head to manipulate him into piloting Unit-01. It is a brutal, cruel tactic, and Shinji seems to recognize this for exactly what it is. He has already accused Gendo of just using him (something to which Gendo openly admits); from his perspective, it at first seems that his father cares just as little for the poor young woman on the gurney who can barely stand, much less pilot.

              This viewpoint is only challenged when, unknown to Gendo, Shinji spots the burn scars covering his father’s palms in Episode 5. His reaction to being told the truth—that Gendo freed the wounded Rei from her overheated entry plug bare-handed (a scene I will discuss in later essays)—clearly stuns him after seeing the cold, calculating way Gendo used her condition to manipulate him earlier. “Father did that?” he blurts out. The concept clearly seems unbelievable to him, defying everything he thinks he knows of Gendo being a heartless, cold, selfish man.

              Interestingly enough, as Ritsuko describes Gendo’s heroic deed to Shinji, the “camera” momentarily moves outside the limits of Shinji’s perspective and shows us what Gendo is doing at that very moment. He is bare-handed (a rarity for him during the A-plot) and for once he has an open, receptive expression on his face as he examines the Angel’s core in obvious wonder and fascination. His lips almost form an excited little smile and the harsh lines of his face are softened. His naked hands touch the core gently, practically caressing it with just his bare fingertips. Considering Evangelion’s repeated use of hand- and touch-related symbolism, it is likely meant to reflect something of his inner emotional world. This is the first time during the A-plot (that is, the plot following Shinji’s perspective and experiences) in which we see Gendo with his emotional guard down. And it comes at the exact moment Shinji learns of his father’s act of self-sacrificial vulnerability for Rei’s sake.

              The idea that his father might allow himself to be hurt for anyone is utterly alien to Shinji, and this in turn is what prompts him to become more curious about Rei. Notably, the next scene is one of immediate contrast: “The burns on his palms are from then,” says Ritsuko, recalling the searing heat of the plug. The shot instantly cuts to a young girl’s body plunging into water. It’s just a small touch, but yet another masterful moment in the way Evangelion uses visual language and careful word choices to create an unspoken discussion on themes. This, we are being told, is going to be an episode about contrasts and subversions. It will also be an episode about sex.

              The poolside scene is the first in which Rei is first explicitly treated as a sexual being—at least from others’ points of view. Shinji is teased twice about his interest in Rei, the first time by his friends Toji and Kensuke, both of whom clearly see Rei as a beautiful (if unapproachable and intimidating) girl. The two of them (being high school boys) describe her body in explicitly sexualized terms, much to Shinji’s embarrassment. At the same time, we’re treated to shots of Rei sitting quietly in her bathing suit, oblivious to their chatter. She is small and vulnerable, but her bare skin and curvy form has still been made into something with sexual energy and potential.

              Back at NERV HQ after school, Shinji watches Rei without her knowledge, still clearly curious about her. Notably, up until this point he has never seen any emotional expressions from her (unless you count her agony in Episode 1). She has kept her distance entirely, and he realizes that despite working together for at least a couple weeks now, he knows virtually nothing about her. There are no relationships in which he can observe her behaviour with others…except for Gendo.

              As he secretly watches within his cockpit, Shinji watches his father approach Rei. Rei suddenly begins acting her age in her body; instead of moving stiffly, she skips and hops eagerly down onto the walkway and begins chatting with Gendo, a cheerful smile on her face and her eyes bright and alert.

              What’s even more shocking to Shinji, however, is Gendo: unlike the scene with the angel core, here Shinji can actually witness his father’s change in demeanour for himself. The Gendo that Shinji knows is a stern, unfeeling man whose rare expressions are that of irritation or a cruel smugness. But as Gendo chats with Rei, his eyes are soft, and a happy smile is on his face. His cheeks even look a bit flushed. Just as important is the way they’re both speaking to each other: although we can’t hear them, we can see their body language and their interaction. They are standing face-to-face, gazing into each other’s eyes, each speaking in turn. They are practically interacting like equals.

              Is it little wonder that Shinji’s jaw is on the floor?

              As always, Anno’s masterful direction creates an unmistakable atmosphere laid across what might otherwise look like a pleasant scene. Shinji’s hidden vantage point, the oblivious radio chatter from the control room, the low single chord of background music, and the fact that we can’t hear a word that Gendo and Rei are saying: all these things contribute to the sensation that we, along with Shinji, have just witnessed something intensely private. Something that neither we nor Shinji were meant to see.

              The scene immediately following this is, once again, Shinji being teased for showing an interest in Rei—this time by two attractive older women. Again the pressure to see Rei as a sexual being is mounted, and the additional overtones of a discussion about sex between a teenager and adults is added. This rapid switch back and forth between Shinji learning about the relationship between Gendo and Rei and being repeatedly asked if he’s interested in Rei himself (all the above scenes take place over the course of about ten minutes) creates an uncomfortable dissonance that charges the episode with a confusing, unnerving sexual tension. At the same time, Rei and Gendo are explicitly brought up and compared to one another: both are terribly awkward, we are told, at life in general. 

              And that’s when the climactic scene of the episode drops on us like a N2, bringing all these interweaving themes to an awkward, disgusting, hilarious, and horrifying head. Shinji goes to Rei’s apartment to drop off her new NERV ID card. Nobody answers the door, which he finds unlocked, so he enters. The room is filthy and spartan; the girl who lives here clearly does not care much about her surroundings or her possessions.

              But Shinji is drawn to the room’s one treasure: a pair of broken glasses carefully set on top of Rei’s dresser. We as the audience are let in on a higher degree of discomfort by knowing something Shinji does not: those once belonged to Gendo, who dropped them when he recklessly pried open the plug door to rescue Rei. Gendo is thus made extremely present in the scene to the audience, even if Shinji cannot sense him.

              I should note here the significance of Gendo’s glasses as a part of his personality. I have noted before that they are an additional layer that he puts on himself as a means of separating himself from others. Though he used to wear clear lenses, after those break he switches to tinted ones, making his expressions even harder to read and representing the increasingly rapid withdrawal of his personal investment and motivations from the rest of NERV and SEELE. His glasses frequently reflect the light, making it difficult to see his eyes even when he’s wearing the clear lenses. The direction of his gaze is thus frequently hidden, and with it his thoughts, feelings, and motives.

              And yet the glasses reflect other things on occasion, too, informing the audience of what Gendo is looking at and what he’s concentrating on. Shots of his face thus have a doubling effect of simultaneously hiding and revealing his gaze: we can see glimpses of what he is gazing at, but only by looking directly at his face and into the glasses which reflect his vantage point. His perspective is simultaneously revealed and hidden.

              So as Shinji approaches the broken glasses on Rei’s dresser, his face is reflected in them—something we rarely (perhaps never?) see happen when Gendo is actually wearing them. His gaze on his son is thus simultaneously present and absent, accentuating the deep dichotomies of their relationship.

              That’s when Shinji does something that feels even more shocking (almost taboo) from the viewpoint of the audience, based on our prior knowledge: he puts them on. It is an incredibly childish gesture, reminding us once again that he’s nothing more than a curious fourteen-year-old boy, but at the same moment he—in the audience’s eyes—becomes his father (emphasized by their similar physical appearance).

              And what is the first thing he sees through his father’s eyes after he turns around and looks behind himself?

              It’s Rei, fully naked, staring back at him.

              Yet at the same time, his view of Rei is blurred and cracked, reminding us definitively that these are not his glasses.

              This, the shot suggests, is not his sight to see. This sight of Rei’s nakedness “belongs” to someone else. Already we are being told exactly what Gendo has seen, how much of it, and that he owns this sight—or at least thinks he does.

              The events that follow are on their surface hilarious due to the awkward nature of the situation, but the staging and shots used (for lack of a better word) are a recollection of the scene down in the cage: Shinji has entered in on something that he should not be witnessing, something that is not for him. Rei strides forward to seize the glasses from him, Shinji slips and topples onto her, his tote catches on her dresser drawer and sends bras and panties flying everywhere. He lands on top of her, covered  in her private items, in a slapstick missionary position with a hand on her breast—and in showing us this, the introductory focus in the pan is of her own hand clutching the glasses. Gendo’s presence is again invoked, even in this deeply awkward, intimate, and violating moment. He is the third, invisible character in this deeply sexually charged scene.

              At the same time, this is the moment where we as an audience begin to see what makes Rei tick. She seems to have no reaction to Shinji seeing her nakedness (leading us, of course, to wonder why), but it is the first moment in which she has a direct emotional reaction to Shinji: anger. But instead of hiding herself, she walks towards him and seizes the glasses away. Shinji walking in on her bathing was not a violation in her eyes, but his wearing his father’s glasses is. Once again, we are given the uncanny message that Rei’s body is treated as a commodity—including by Rei herself. This time, however, we are given an alternative source of her identity. She does not derive her sense of self from her embodiedness, but from something more intangible, represented by the one item in her life treated with reverence: the glasses. She is given her sense of identity through Gendo’s gaze, and it is Shinji’s appropriation of this gaze that she finds violating. Even as Shinji lands on top of her, a hand on her chest, her anger is gone because the issue is resolved: she has the glasses back in her possession and Shinji is no longer invading that space (even as he inadvertently invades other spaces).

              Shinji’s next violation provokes an even stronger response. Despite the horrifically awkward event, it has at least broken the ice, and as they travel together to NERV HQ he begins trying to make conversation about their commonality: Eva piloting. This then invokes the silent third party in this entire exchange: Gendo. Rei asks if Shinji has faith in his father’s work, and when he furiously denies it, she turns, looks him square in the eyes, and slaps him hard across the face.

              And this, of course, seems odd (even humorous) until one realizes why she perceives this as such an insult: she is his father’s work. An insult to her person is of no consequence in her eyes, but an insult to Gendo is an insult to something far more intrinsic to her identity and her emotional world. Between these two scenes, we have seen just how wrapped up Rei’s sense of identity is in Gendo, and in further essays I will argue that the reverse is true as well. Gendo cannot conceive of Rei as existing outside of himself, her identity is so deeply wrapped up in his own. If he ever did conceive of her as a separate being, he will have lost this ability by time Instrumentality arrives.

              Yet at the same time, between all these questions of identity and sexual violation, we see toward the end of the episode that there is a layer that is far more simple and human: Rei takes Gendo’s glasses with her into the entry plug when it’s time for her resynchronization, and she hangs them where she can look at them when she feels afraid.

              Because she is, in the end, also a fourteen-year-old who wants someone to make her feel safe.

To be continued in Part IV: Green-Eyed Monsters

Like my meta? Buy me a coffee!

[kinncman]

A LIST OF PLOTLESS TOWN RP-FRIENDLY CHARACTER IDEAS & CONNECTIONS INSPIRED BY MOVIES! (PART 1)

click here for part two.

i collected a couple of plot ideas from some of the movies i thought had interesting stories or characters that i hope can help you with your applications / character connections. please note that a lot of these are, by no means, the actual plots of the films and are only inspired by them. i’ve taken the liberty of making a couple of edits for them to be ‘plotless town rp-friendly’. also, i would’ve separated them by category (platonic, romantic, familial, etc.) but tbh a lot of these can be taken in any way so feel free to put your own spin on them, too, or even make combinations!

trigger warnings: nothing too specific, but there are light mentions of death, road accident, infidelity, illness, injury, drug addiction.

now, without further ado:

BAY OF ANGELS  // muse a met muse b on a vacation several years ago, brought together because they were both from the same home country and realized that they were traveling to run away from something. muse a came to learn that this wasn’t muse b’s first rodeo, and where this was the first time that muse a had tried to run away from their problems, muse b had been running for most of their life. muse b initially wished to emulate the same free-spirited, high-risk-high-reward principles that muse a lived by. however, muse b started to display totally erratic behavior that prompted muse a to question whether they were making the right choices. eventually, they went home. jump to present day where they meet again in their home country— muse b has toned down somewhat due to a traumatic event (a hard lesson to learn for them) meanwhile, muse a’s life remains the same cycle of events they can’t seem to break free from.

CLEO FROM 5 TO 7 // muse a suspects they are sick but refuses to go to the doctor to have it checked. most of their days are plagued with this feeling of doom enshrouding them, causing them to have a general distaste for life. they meet muse b who has profoundly positive disposition towards life. their company helps muse a to come to terms with the fact that perhaps their illness is something they should deal with. with muse b’s help, muse a starts to find meaning in death.

HAPPY OLD YEAR // muse a left town / the country for college, leaving behind all their friends and family, cutting all ties in a heartbeat, only to come back several years later a completely changed person who subscribes to the idea of minimalism and wants to get rid of all the clutter in their life, material or otherwise. this brings them to reconnect with muse b (and a variety of other muses if the mun wishes) when they find their old belongings and return them in order to be ‘minimalist’ and get rid of all the garbage in their home, which means getting rid of memories, too. however, muse b, who has now moved on from muse a and is with someone else, isn’t too pleased with having muse a back in their life. muse a is desperate to find the closure that muse b isn’t giving them, primarily because muse b knows that muse a is after starting over on a clean slate only to clear their conscience and not to make amends.

YI-YI: A ONE AND A TWO // muse a and muse b were each other’s first and greatest loves but are currently married to other people. when they are reunited through a chance encounter, they decide that it’s better to have each other in their lives as friends than not at all. they realize they still do have feelings for each other but because of their spouses, know that they can never be anything else other than friends. thus begins a journey of trying to bring their old selves back into the light as new people.

MIKEY AND NICKY // muse a and muse b are best friends since childhood. muse a is neurotic, childish, and wildly impulsive, and often has to depend on muse b to get them out of trouble only to show very little gratitude for it, much to muse b’s chagrin. in fact, muse b often finds themself thrown under the bus in muse a’s favor, though it’s not entirely muse a’s fault: muse b is an enabler. however, muse b can’t quite seem to quit muse a (either because they love the feeling of being needed and there’s no one who needs them more than muse a or maybe they’ve been in love with muse a since childhood— or both) until a certain event causes muse b to question whether they are healthy for each other at all.

IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE // muse a and muse b are neighbors, both living with their significant others. both muse a and muse b often see each other in the hallways or share an elevator up to their apartment when they come home from work. maybe they even carpool sometimes. however, they spare very little in the way of words until one day, muse a breaks down while drunk and admits that they think their partner is cheating on them. in an attempt to comfort them, muse b reveals that they think the same thing of their own partner. desperate for answers, they conduct an investigation until they realize that their partners are cheating on them with each other. muse a and muse b become each other’s support system, as they try to coach each other through an impending breakup all the while realizing that they might be developing feelings for each other and must now choose between indulging their feelings or deny themselves the hypocrisy.

TAKE THIS WALTZ // muse a meets muse b on a trip out of town and they instantly connect. they share the same flight back home and even a cab ride from the airport. however, they soon realize that muse b is muse a’s new neighbor, which makes things plenty awkward considering how a) they’ve been borderline flirty the whole time and b) muse a is married to someone who they now consider to be far less interesting in comparison to muse b. regardless, once they’ve recognized a mutual attraction with each other, muse a demands for muse b to keep their distance, only to keep running into each other everywhere, much to muse a’s chagrin.

LAST LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE // muse a is witness to a terrible road accident involving a pedestrian. muse a takes the pedestrian and their sibling, muse b to the hospital where muse b’s sibling is declared dead on arrival. despite being total strangers, muse a stays with muse b through the entire process. eventually, muse a takes muse b home but muse a refuses to let muse b leave, claiming they don’t want to be left alone in the house that they previously shared with their now deceased sibling. having money troubles of their own and on the brink of an eviction, muse a ends up staying with muse b not just for the night but for the week until they get comfortable enough with each other that muse b invites muse a to officially live with them to help with their financial problems, but mostly because they don’t know how to handle their grief alone.

THE FALL // muse a is in an outpatient physical rehabilitation facility after suffering from a near-fatal injury when they meet muse b. the pair are polar opposites in terms of their attitudes towards recovery: where muse a is more hopeful, muse b only throws pity parties for themself considering that this injury might prevent them from fully getting back to doing what they love. despite this, the two form an unlikely bond where muse b is completely enthralled with muse a, who tells them stories about their travels and their career and all the amazing things they’ve done, without realizing until they’re in too deep that they are all fabricated versions of the truth and muse b falls for every single one of them. what started as little white lies becomes a source of anxiety for muse a when the lies just get bigger and bigger.

COLUMBUS // muse a is a young, aspiring [insert career here] but to pursue this passion, they must leave their hometown, which they have constantly been refusing to do despite the numerous opportunities having been presented to them on account of the fear that no one else is going to take care of their mother (who, in the movie, is a recovering drug addict but it can be for any reason or relative in this case). muse b’s father is a well-known [insert career that muse a wants here] and is in town to hold a lecture/exhibit/performance/etc etc depending on the career, but then he suffers from a stroke. muse b, despite being estranged from their father for having been scrutinized by the man for most of their life, is forced to come to town and take care of him being their closest living relative. they meet muse a by chance, only to learn shortly after that they are a huge fan of muse b’s parent’s work. having spent their whole life in this town, muse a becomes muse b’s tour guide of sorts, while inadvertently helping each other come to terms with their relationship with their parents and how they can be kinder to themselves.

SECRET SUNSHINE // after their spouse’s passing, muse a moves from the big city to their spouse’s much, much smaller hometown so they can raise their child there. they meet all of the important figures of their spouse’s childhood including muse b, a local shopkeeper and an old friend of their spouse’s, who, despite muse a’s reluctance, helps them adjust to small town life. the pair eventually closer to each other and muse a to their spouse as they find out more about who they were before they met.

THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU // (originally lgbtqia+ and written about older characters with grown children, but make of this plot what u will, tbh) muse a and muse b are best friends. both married, both with grown kids. muse a’s spouse died a long time ago so they’ve had plenty of time to help muse b take care of their spouse in the couple of months leading to that spouse’s death. in the process, the pair have grown intimate (with muse b’s spouse’s knowledge— in fact, they encouraged muse a to ‘take care’ of muse b in the event of their passing and wouldn’t trust anyone else to do so) but haven’t told their families yet in fear of what they might think of them given their age and how they’re basically uncles/aunts to each other’s children.

[school-of-roses]

What are Spirits?

What are Spirits?

Spirits have many definitions. In general, though, when we reference spirits in terms of spirituality, religion, or magical practice, we are referring to either 1) the immaterial intelligent or sentient part of a person, or 2) a supernatural being or essence. There are multiple categories of spirits, in which an individual entity may be in one or multiple: local spirits, nature spirits, culturally or religiously tied spirits, and deities.

What are Local Spirits?

Local spirits are, well, local to you. They often involve house spirits, plant spirits, and bound spirits.

House spirits are deities or spirits that protect the home, looking after the household or certain members. They’re a common belief in paganism as well as folklore across many parts of the world. They fit into two main types: a specific deity that is often associated with the home and hearth, such as Hestia (Greek) or Frigg (Norse); and animistic deities or other spirits such as brownies (Anglo-Scottish) or domovoy (Slavic). They are recognized in the home via things such as small idols, shrines, amulets, paintings, or reliefs; and would often be treated as members of the family and invited to join in on meals or given offerings of food and drink.

Plant spirits are exactly what they sound like. Plants have spirits, same as anything else. Sometimes they’re well-known, like the dryads in trees or basilisks associated with your basil, and sometimes it’ll take you a hot minute to realize the poison ivy popping up is doing so for a spiritual reason. If you have access to plants, such as a yard or something potted indoors, you may benefit from forming a connection with them.

Bound spirits come one of two ways: they are either spirits left here when their meaty fleshsuit gave up the ghost and the ghost lingered around, or they are spirits of any sort magically tied to an object or place.

Ghosts can stick around for any reason, whether it be something cute like wanting to watch a grandchild grow up for a little while longer, or something sinister like unfinished business and a need for vengeance. It is important to note the difference between a ghost and an impression. If a spirit is doing the same thing at a certain time, every time, like clockwork, there is a good chance that there is no actual ghost, and that something happened that left an impression on the place/land itself that it essentially burned into the very essence of the area. Impressions are often seen in places of great tragedy or trauma, such as battlefields.

Spirits that are magically bound are often tied to objects or areas against their will. How ethical that practice is gets to be a bit tricky, and not everyone agrees on the morality of those practices. Our school does not agree with the practice of non-consensually binding a spirit with the intent on using its energy or abilities to enhance our own practices; however, we do see the necessity of binding a spirit that is otherwise wreaking havoc in an area to contain said spirit, with the expectation that all available resources will be put towards learning what that spirit is (if unknown) and how to appropriately relocate or remove said spirit in such a fashion that minimizes harm for all parties involved.

What are Nature Spirits?

Nature spirits are forces or personifications of the forces of nature. They are often defined by a particular relationship with some specific form or function within the natural environment of the earth. While many categorizations of spirits may find entities also tied to nature, ranging from deities to your friendly local tree spirit, we’ll be discussing the fey and elementals in this category.

The fey (also known as fairies, faeries, fay, fae, and fair folk) are often found in the folklore of multiple European cultures. They have multiple origin stories, and the label does not necessarily have any hard definition. Some use it to refer to specific entities (usually a humanoid with magical powers and a penchant for trickery), whereas others may use it to describe any magical creature, such as gnomes and changelings.

Elementals are generally regarded as inhabitants of one of the occult or primal elements. They are seen as entities that personify a particular force of nature, and exert powers over those forces. Some definitions may refer to any nature spirit as an elemental. Many sources that use the classical elemental system tend to classify the elementals with names for their specific element: all air spirits are referred to as sylphs, all fire spirits are referred to as salamanders, all water spirits are referred to as undines, and all earth spirits are referred to as gnomes.

What are Culturally or Religiously Tied Spirits?

Culturally or religiously tied spirits are spirits associated with particular pantheons or cultures. These may or may not be tied to closed practices, such as angels within the Abrahamic pantheon (generally open, ask first), or the Haitian lwa (closed).

Messengers of gods come in many forms. Their forms tend to run animalistic, humanoid, or the stuff of eldritch nightmares. Signs usually come in the form of dreams or waking visions, or physical signs such as certain plants or animals either being heavily featured or acting out of character. Please note that not all physical signs will involve a person or animal actually approaching you. If you live in the middle of New York City, the chance a wolf is going to trot down Park Avenue to boop its snoot on your hand is incredibly low. If, as an example, someone wishes to use a wolf to give you signs, you are more likely to see them using more modern techniques, such as having wolves being featured more heavily in advertising near you, or people that are wearing wolf hoodies getting in your way constantly until you take the hint.

Minor deities and major messengers tend to blend quite a bit. Gabriel (Abrahamic), a messenger, is an archangel and is quite highly revered. Iris (Greek) is a minor deity that is one of the quintessential messengers within her pantheon.

Negatively associated spirits, such as demons (in any culture) or poltergeists, are entities generally thought to be malefic. This is not necessarily always the case; however, as with any entity, it is best to practice caution when interacting with them. It’s important to be aware there may be spirits that would, in fact, like to cause harm or mayhem in your life (not necessarily because you are important, some entities are just dicks and you may be an easy or otherwise available target), and is even more important to know how to protect yourself and others without needing to obtain that knowledge as an immediate, pressing issue.

Ancestors are the souls of departed family members. Many cultures have one way or another to revere them, and there are people who may find that inviting them in may provide them with benefits such as wisdom from those departed or a sense of peace. Ancestor worship or reverence tends to vary in practice from culture to culture, and with many people now coming from blended backgrounds, you may see more heavily individualized variations. However, it is important to note that dead people are still people, and their wisdom and opinions may not be the most up-to-date or best for you. As with everything else in this lesson, their importance and influence in your life is up to you.

What are Deities?

Deities are gods or goddesses in religions. They are considered to have divine status, quality, or nature; and may be considered to be a creator or supreme beings depending on individual status and/or religion.

Pantheons refer to the groupings of deities and other entities in regards to particular cultures or religions. Every deity will be within at least one pantheon; some, such as one known by names such as Hekate (Greek) or Ereshkigal (Sumerian) may be found in multiple.

What are Offerings?

Offerings are objects or actions given to or done in the name of a specific entity or entities. It is advisable to research what the offered entity enjoys, though going with your intuition is generally safe. Offerings are generally given out of respect or reverence for the entity, though they may also be used for other purposes such as attempting forming relationships or as thanks for something the entity has done.

[milfingo]

gonna be real honest here my fate series knowledge is minimal at best but your submas fate au is such a stroke of genius! do you have anything else to share about it? do the twins recognize each other? and how did ingo end up as a servant and what kind of wish will he have?

Ah! Hi, and thank you for the ask!

I do have other details for it that I was planning to post. I just wasn't sure how to write em up, haha! So I’m going to keep quiet about those in particular, please have patience.

I’ll answer your question about Ingo’s wish though! It rather complicated and I think it’s better to just explain this outright than try to get too fancy with it.

Putting it under the cut because, it’s a bit long. Also, a bonus, how many versions of Ingo can you summon in this au answer!

So, a quick thing about servants, they don’t need to have a wish in order to be summoned. Most do, but there a plenty who get summoned and don’t. Diarmuid is the easiest example, and one could even argue archer EMIYA, as his goal for a time was to kill his past self. Something that didn’t require the grail just the right holy grail war (HGW). These are also more than just the standard 7 classes of servants which I will be referring to as true servants. 

Agents of the counter force are also able to be summoned into HGWs but they are rare. While other classes require special set up in order to have them appear. It is not impossible to summon them. But it defiantly isn’t easy and should you summon one they tend to severely complicate HGWs.

In the case of true servant Ingo, his wish is very simple. He wants to be useful and have a place to belong. But really the Throne of Heros doesn’t actually need a wish to be able to manifest a heroic spirit. Ingo has two potential classes you can summon him as without any augments to the summoning ritual, Rider and Caster. 

As a Rider his True Name would be Subway Boss Ingo, and the closest to the real Ingo. This one is also the hardest to summon as it requires very personal items or a close tie to the servant in question. This is the strongest form to summon him in. His Noble Phantasm is known as The Super Singles Green Line! An anti-personnel attack that summons a subway train that barrels into the target at breakneck speeds. Should he be up against more than one foe he is able to summon multiple iterations without consuming large amounts of mana from his master.

As a Caster his True Name would be Warden of the Highlands. While a fairly weak servant on his own, the constructs he is able to summon are what cause the most trouble. The constructs in particular take the form of ghostly alpha pokemon that are able to hold their own without direct input from their summoner as well as obeying commands given by Ingo’s master. His Noble Phantasm in this form is known as Poison Mist on the Mountainside. Unlike most Noble Phantasms that are tied to specific weapons or abilities, this one is tied to a legend about the Noble pokemon Sneasler. That being that when enraged it is able to dramatically increase in size and its breath becomes a toxic miasma that causes severe illness. As one can guess, he rather dislikes using this ability unless it is a last resort. The range of the toxic miasma is at minimum a radius two city blocks (528sqft/161m~) and documented maximum radius of 1000sqft/305~m). The Miasma is very deadly to those without immediate access to clean air after exposure and even mages have a hard time healing from it.

BONUS!

He has a genterbent version! Depending on the summoning conditions it is possible to instead pull a version of Ingo based on the Lady of the Highlands instead of just a simple warden. This servant’s class is that of an assassin. And her primary skills are all associated with poison. However, her Noble Phantasm remains the same as Caster Ingo’s.

You can summon her by using items owned/used by Sneaslers of the noble line.

Hope this shed some light on what you were wondering about~!

[goldentournesol]

Mon Lapin

(Spencer Reid x Reader)

The one where Reader owns a French bakery at which Spencer is a regular.

Length: 1.6k

A/N: the french bakery au no one asked for :) i’m aware my French isn’t perfect, please don’t roast me!! MAJOR FLUFF AND PINING

Read Part 2: Mon Cher

masterlist

The air was crisp in September and Spencer loved it. He used the weather as an excuse to leave his house more often. He liked the way the wind nipped at his nose, but when it got too much, he’d find refuge in his favorite French bakery, La Crème de la Crème. The smell of freshly baked bread and buttery pastries gave him a sense of security he longed for. There were other reasons he liked to go there as well...he liked the soft armchairs...the fresh coffee...the beautiful woman who happened to own the bakery. He also liked the way her eyes softened as they met with his upon entering the store. He’d been away, guest lecturing at different universities so he hadn’t visited the bakery in a while.

“Dr. Reid, welcome back! How were the lectures?” She asked warmly, waving at him from across the counter as he offered a shy wave back.

 She had her hair tied up in a neat ponytail, with one braid across the top of her head. Her apron had minimal chocolate and coffee stains at which he grinned because he remembered how she’d been complaining to him about how many aprons she’s ruined. Spencer couldn’t help but admire every inch of her. But she’d just asked him a question, what was it?

“Oh, they were great! You know, I’ve found that college students are often at the ends of the interest spectrum. Either they’re extremely interested or they don’t even care, it’s quite amusing.” He commented, heat rushing to his cheeks. 

She replied with a soft giggle and nodded. She silently cursed as she noticed a line forming behind him, she wanted to continue the conversation, “I’m sure it is! So what can I get you today, mon lapin? [my bunny] The usual?” Spencer nodded with a hum, a familiar grin adorning his face, “Alright, one coffee and one pain au chocolat coming right up!” 

Spencer paid and moved to the side to collect his order, itching to interact with her even more. He still blushed at the nickname, one she’d given to him early on. At first, he had no idea what it meant, which led to a very awkward conversation with Emily, who’d since then made it a point to repeatedly ask him about the mystery person who’d been referring to the lanky doctor with such an adorable term of endearment. 

He took a seat at his usual spot and pulled out the current book he was reading. As easy as it is for Spencer to get lost in the words, it was just as easy for her voice to pull his attention away from them. He glanced up at her often to watch her as she greeted customers and brought them their orders. She was entrancing, and he’d often find himself rereading pages and words he thought he missed when in reality, he’d just lost focus. Every once in a while, she’d catch his eye and send him one of her smiles and in those precious moments, he’d be glad he had enough knowledge about human anatomy or else he’d be concerned about the way his heart would swell in his chest.

Spencer looked up from his book to see a man and a woman walking into the bakery together. They looked lost and out of place. They approached the counter and the man spoke with broken English to Y/N.

“Erm, mademoiselle...we are...how do you say...lost?” He stumbled over his words. They were obviously not American.

“Oh! Je peux vous aider, je parle en peu de Français.” [I can help you, I speak a little bit of French.] Y/N beamed at the couple, happy to finally put her language skills to good use.

“Magnifique! On a vu votre pâtisserie et a espéré qu’on va trouver quelqu'un qui parle Francais.” [Magnificent! We saw your pastry shop and hoped to find someone who speaks French] the woman exclaimed, “On a veut aller au musée national d’histoire naturelle, mais on s’est perdue, vous savez les directions?” [We wanted to go to the National Museum of Natural History, but we got lost, you know the directions?]

Spencer watched in amusement as well as in awe as she gave them the directions in flawless French. Although he knew enough to get by, he was nowhere near as fluent as she was. Spencer was rarely ever impressed but the way the words left her mouth reminded him of velvet.

The couple smiled gratefully and waved as they left the store. Y/N felt elated that she’d helped someone, but she couldn’t fight the blush that warmed up her cheeks when she caught Spencer staring at her in awe. He flushed immediately and averted his gaze, embarrassed to have been caught staring. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and straightened out his tie, in an attempt to regain his composure. But all she could do was bite her lip to keep from grinning, which her dear coworker noticed and proceeded to wiggle her eyebrows at her in a teasing manner. Y/N jokingly threw a towel at her coworker who knew all about Y/N’s infatuation with the young doctor.

---

Spencer thought of a plan. Casual conversation was not enough for him, he needed a way to grab her attention while somewhat staying in his comfort zone. What better way to do that than through literature? So, there he was, sat inside the bakery on another beautiful day, holding a French book. Although he recognized some words from English, the sentence structure was throwing him off. He pretended to be engrossed in the words as she passed by his table, a tub full of used plates and silverware perched on her hip.

“Les Fleurs du Mal?” [The Flowers of Evil] Y/N exclaimed as she glanced at the cover of the book Spencer was holding. He mentally high-fived himself before directing his attention to the breathtaking woman, “You didn’t tell me you could read French, mon lapin!” she grinned as she took a seat across from him, placing the tub by her feet. Spencer let his eyes roam over her excited features as he smiled sheepishly.

“Um, well actually I’m only just getting there.” He replied, taking a sip of his now freezing coffee after putting the book down. He’d been too nervous about the plan to even think of his coffee. “Are you a fan of Charles Baudelaire’s work?”

Y/N tried not to swoon over his adorable attempt at pronouncing the French name. It was impossible not to swoon over this man in general, his round amber eyes were as captivating as one’s eyes possibly could be. His eyes reminded her of the way the sun shined through glass jars of honey. She was suddenly grateful for the reduced amount of customers in the bakery.

“Well, I’ve read the poems in Les Fleurs du Mal and I loved the whole thing. Mainly because he wasn’t afraid to be controversial, considering it was published in 1857. I would have never taken you as the type to read lots of French poetry, though, Dr. Reid.” She teased, knowing full well that he was a man of science.

“Why is that? Do I not strike you as the romantic type?” He countered with a raised brow and a lopsided smile, a newfound wave of confidence coursing through his veins. 

He couldn’t believe he had her right where he wanted her and that his plan had actually worked. He had no idea, of course, that she’d been closely paying attention to the books he’s read in her shop, hoping that one day she just might recognize one.

She acted like she was thinking about it, placing a finger on her chin theatrically, “Hm, actually, you do. You strike me as the type of guy who would buy flowers for their date, but not red roses, though, too cliché for your liking. You’d probably get them lilies...or irises!” Spencer fell in love with the way she spoke to and about him. He found himself reveling in the sound of her voice and her endearing expressions.

“So which would you prefer?” Spencer asked, eyes softening at her as she brought her gaze back to him.

“What do you mean?” She asked, feeling some heat rising to her cheeks.

“Would you prefer irises or lilies?” He clarified, raising both eyebrows slightly.

If she hadn’t known any better, she’d say that Dr. Spencer Reid was trying to ask her out on a date, but she didn’t push it, in case he wasn’t.

“Lilies.” Y/N grinned. Spencer let out a chuckle and she swore her heart was about to burst.

“Alright, it’s settled.” he announced, taking one last sip of the coffee, “I’ll be getting you lilies for our date.”

She must have misheard him, “Wait, what date?”

“The date we’ll have tomorrow. At 7 pm.” He picked up the book and shoved it into his messenger bag, nodding his head once at her decidedly. “I’ll wait for you here.” He grinned at her as he got up and made his way to the door.

Y/N’s eyes followed him out of the shop. Her brain hadn’t yet processed what had just happened. She looked towards her coworker who had been sneakily watching the encounter from behind the pastries in disbelief and finally snapped out of it when she caught her coworker hugging a towel and squealing. It finally registered and she couldn’t fight the grin that threatened to split her face in two anymore. 

That Spencer Reid was one hell of a man.

Part 2: Mon Cher

[thewhitejournal]

“The Intern” Part Three

Aaron Hotchner x Female!Reader

(not my gif)

hello all! i am so sorry for the wait, i know it’s been quite anticipated by some of you. i just got a little stuck but hopefully things are rolling again and going my way with the story so, please enjoy! :) the first part is here and the second part is here in case you haven’t read either yet.

feel free to message me/comment if you want to be tagged in future updates :)

content warnings: minimal cursing, light mention of abuse and violence

disclaimer: i am not a writer for criminal minds so therefore i cannot write the details of a case to save my life. i hope you can enjoy it despite the fact.

-

The pilot helped you halfway up the stairs to the jet; you walked with caution so you didn’t get your heels caught on a step. Boarding the jet, you turned to your right and walked into the cabin. All the teams’ eyes were on you, including Aaron.

“You all know our intern, (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I’ve invited her on this case, she’s on the team for now so treat her as such.” He told the rest of the team sternly. They all muttered things like “you got it” and “of course”. It made you smile. They were all very accepting of you already.

Morgan, Reid, JJ and Prentiss were sitting in the four chairs that faced the table, files and pictures spread out all over it. Rossi was on the couch, legs propped up on it as well. The only spot left where you could converse with the team was next to Aaron on the loveseat. You watched your feet as you walked past him, sitting down next to him. You still didn’t make eye contact with him, just the four that were currently discussing the case and their theories right in front of you. You tried watching him out the corner of your eye, but you couldn’t get a good look, and you didn’t want to be too obvious either.

“Maybe there was some kind of trigger with the original Oakland County killer? Reid, what do you know?” Derek asked; all eyes were on Spencer now. Spencer sighed, shaking his head.

“The Oakland County Child killer was never caught. They had a DNA profile, but it didn’t match either suspect or anyone else in connection with the case. So there’s no way to tell.”

“So this probably isn’t an exact copycat, right?” Despite your nerves, you spoke up. The teams’ heads turned to look at you. You were still trying to learn, but that didn’t mean you weren’t afraid to mess up in front of them. They were the professionals.

Derek shrugged. “Probably, that’d be my guess too.” Some of the other guys nodded their heads; you didn’t miss the upward twinge on Hotch’s lips. You weren’t sure what that meant, but surely it was good, right?

“Morgan and Prentiss, you’ll go to the crime scene, see if there’s any type of signature on the body or at the scene. Dave and Reid, I want you to go talk to the parents, see what you can find out. JJ, you, (Y/N) and I will set up at the station.”, Hotch said. At the mention of yours and JJ’s name in the same sentence, you two made eye contact. She gave you a bright smile, and you returned it. You liked her already; her energy was so pleasant to be around.

Of course, you didn’t slide over the fact that Hotch said your first name so casually; your heart fluttered at the sound of your name on his lips. The team nodded curtly, gathering the contents of each file and compiling it again. The jet would be landing in about an hour, and everyone resorted to their forms of ways to pass the time.

Morgan plugged in some headphones and laid against the seat, getting lost in whatever was flowing through those speakers. Reid pulled out a book, flipping through the pages at a speed you couldn’t do while also understanding the material. Rossi opened the file again, eyes flickering over all the material. JJ held a light conversation with Prentiss about their personal lives; you didn’t listen in, even though they were among everyone else and it wouldn’t have necessarily been considered rude.

Your leg was crossed over the other, body facing away from Hotch, but you started to lose feeling in the leg on the bottom, so you switched, crossing your ankles. Your body shifted closer to Hotch; this was entirely coincidental, but he changed positions at the same time you did. He brought his knee up and sat in a way that his leg was against your thigh. You’d expected him to move, but he didn’t. You felt frozen; sure, you didn’t mind the physical contact, even something so small. The thing you were really worried about was the team or even Aaron noticing that you were flustered, so you tried your best to keep your feelings under wraps.

Distracting yourself with the case file seemed like the best option at the time, so you opened it up and read over all the details again, gory and sad as they were. Suddenly, it felt like Aaron moved even closer to you. Surely he was teasing you or something at this point. You decided to take the risk and look over at him, but not before making sure the rest of the team was preoccupied first.

He was reading a book; you couldn’t tell what it was, but the size of his hands made the book look so tiny in his palm. You watched his fingers move so gracefully as he turned the next page, and you looked up at his face. His light brown eyes moved back and forth as they took in every line on the page, but suddenly he slowly turned his head and looked at you.

You wanted to look away, but it was like you were in a trance of some kind. His eyes searched your face, and he looked different than usual. His expression was soft, like how you’d seen in the picture on his desk of him and his son. He looked genuinely relaxed; even though you hadn’t known him long, you knew this was very rare. The left corner of his lip twinged upwards into a tiny smile, and how could you not return it? The exchange was small, but not to you.

You both turned your attention back to the reading material in your hands, a smile on your face. There was one trying to show on his lips, too.

~

The ride to the police station was short; Aaron drove while you and JJ sat in the back. She made conversation with you about your life and you asked about hers, which you didn’t mind. But all you could think about was Aaron was listening to every little detail you shared about yourself, gaining knowledge about you while you had little to none about him. And it’s not like he probably wouldn’t have figured out most of these things on his own; it is his job, after all, to figure people out. He was damn good at it too.

Hotch parked the car out front and you all got out. He held the door open for you and JJ, but you didn’t walk in first. You left that up to either Aaron or JJ. Hotch took the lead, which did not surprise you in the least. The sheriff greeted him almost immediately.

“Hey, thank y’all so much for coming up. It means the world to us. I’m Sheriff Bradbury.” The two men shook hands. Aaron turned his body so you and JJ were more visible to the sheriff.

“These are agents Jareau and (Y/L/N).” Your heart felt like it was going to burst; he introduced you as ‘agent’. You’ll admit, the sound of it was nice to hear. The sheriff reached out to shake yours and JJ’s hands, giving you an acknowledging nod.

“Everything you requested is just in that room there.” Sheriff Bradbury gestured to an empty conference room with a whiteboard standing against the wall and a box of what you assumed to be the case files and other information you hadn’t yet been provided with.

“Thank you.” Aaron told him, giving him a curt nod and walking to the room, you and JJ in suit. There were only about three or four boxes on the table, which didn’t seem like much to you, so that was a relief. Some of the boxes were files and evidence from the case that the current unsub seemed to be copying; most of the boxes were older. There seemed to be not much information on the newest case. But you were sure that was going to change soon.

Hotch thought it would be a good idea for a pair of fresh eyes like yours to analyze the older case files, so he started showing you what to look for and how easiest to find connections between the two cases. He said he would help you look over them because the information on the ‘77 case rivaled the files on the new one in an outstanding amount. JJ started combing over the finer details of the newest case but watching the two of you interact at the same time.

Aaron sat in the office chair next to you, looking over and perceiving the information in front of him much quicker than you could. You had to keep reminding yourself that he did this every day, and this was your first time. Being next to him calmed the nerves you had wiring inside you though; it was unexplainable. Something about his presence was just so...right, to you.

After having settled into your seat and your role, for the most part, you realized it was a bit chilly in the conference room. You pulled your blazer closer to your body, clasping the button on the front. JJ unrolled her sleeves and buttoned them at her wrists, attention never breaking from the papers in front of her. The slight chill to the room seemed to have no effect on Aaron, which didn’t surprise you. He was still reading over the file in his hand, dark brows furrowed on his forehead.

A sudden shiver went down your spine.

“It is kinda chilly in here, hm?” JJ remarked, rubbing her arms. She pulled her suit jacket over her shoulders. You just chuckled at her statement. You liked the little small talk and the fact that with each passing second, there was no awkward silence. Suddenly, Aaron sat the file that was in his hand down on the table and pulled his arms from his jacket, removing it. JJ raised a brow slightly at this, watching his next move. You were too, just trying not to make it as obvious.

The jacket was in his hand now and outstretched to you. Your face began to heat up. JJ watched for your reaction, but Aaron didn’t look over at you.

“Thank you Hotch, but I’m okay-“ He interrupted you. He looked over at you now, a soft look in his eyes but the small stern look still on his face.

“I insist, (Y/L/N).” Shyly, you took it and draped it over your shoulders, returning to your work. Mostly so that your face was faced more towards the papers and not to him, just in case your cheeks were red. As you turned away, you swore you saw a little smile on his face.

“Thank you.” You mumbled. He hummed in an acknowledging tone.

The jacket was warm, almost a bit overwhelmingly so. It smelled like him, too. The actual smell was hard to place, but it made sense that that’s what he smelled like. Maybe a little bit of cinnamon and vanilla, oddly enough. It was a very cozy and homey smell, and you loved it. You resisted the urge to snuggle into it; you imagine it was almost as good as actually hugging him.

Some time passes as the three of you read over the material in front of you. You read some police reports of some of the suspects in their younger years; they acted out quite a bit. The main suspect was the focus of your attention; he had been charged for things like vandalism, arson, all the way up to domestic disputes with his girlfriends. It didn’t make sense to you. These activities usually describe several different types of unsubs, not just a single one. Not all of these crimes usually fit in with one type of killer.

What was also strange to you was the fact that the original killer strayed away from one gender in his victims; the reason why was usually harder to put a finger on. There’s usually no sexual motive behind someone like this. You were just remembering things from what you’d seen at the beginning of some of your textbooks. The types of killers you might see and how they act. That was about all of the information you had on them though; your further work went more into the technical side of things. You liked being in the field, but you felt useless. You didn’t have the kind of knowledge the rest of the team did about this type of work. Hopefully, you could contribute, you thought to yourself.

“Anyone find anything?” Hotch spoke up. This was your chance. Even though you hadn’t found anything solid, it was still something. But you waited to hear from JJ first. She sighed, shaking her head. Aaron looked over at you. You cleared your throat.

“I saw that the main suspect in ‘77 had a lot of charges in his youth, but they’re all over the place. I just don’t think it makes sense.” Your eyes didn’t leave the paper in front of you. But the two agents’ gazes were on you. You felt it was probably best to meet their eyes, as much as you were surprisingly afraid to meet Aaron’s. You looked up, eyes meeting JJ’s first.

“I mean, he was charged with arson and domestic violence, several times for both. We don’t usually see unsubs with so many outlets for their rage, right? Usually, they just pick one and stick with it.” You looked over at Hotch. His eyebrows were knitted together, but his body language suggested he was open to your ideas. One arm propped up on the table, the other resting in his lap, his body turned towards you. The palm of his hand that was on the table outstretched, motioning for you to hand him the file. You complied immediately.

He read over it, seeing what you meant. “She’s right. Usually, it’s either physical violence or arson, not both.” JJ nodded in agreeance.

“So what does that mean?” You asked aloud to no one in particular. Suddenly, Rossi and Reid enter the room. Your body froze, not because you were cold this time. You remembered Aaron’s jacket was still over your shoulders. You shrugged it off so that it fell behind your back, hopefully before Spencer and Rossi could notice.

“The parents said Nathan was on a gaming website where chat rooms were available and that’s likely how the two met. The unsub probably lured him out that way. He likely asked Nathan to meet him in real life under the ruse that he was around Nathan’s age. Was that Hotch’s jacket?” Spencer stated, then asked the question as if it were nothing. Your face started to grow red and JJ tried to hide a smile. Before you could object or try to say anything in defense of yourself, Aaron spoke up.

“The unsub has evolved, its unlikely it can be the same unsub or anyone close to them. The original suspect would’ve continued luring his victims without any technology, stuck to his ways.” You saw Rossi smirking at you and Hotch, realizing Reid’s observation was correct.

“So this unsub is like a modern-day version of the original?” JJ asked. You agreed silently, as did most of the team. They continued discussing the details of the case and new things they’d found, along with Derek and Prentiss who’d just entered the room a minute or two ago. They talked about what they saw at the crime scene, which wasn’t much. You couldn’t focus on anything they were saying or if you had anything to contribute, plus you weren’t sure what to say. You had zero experience with how to work an actual case, you’d only done a couple of exercises at the beginning of your classes.

“(Y/L/N)?” Hotch’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. It was just the two of you in the room, for the first time. You hadn’t noticed the rest of the team had left. You looked over at him, shaking your head internally. How could you be so out of it, in the middle of something so important? Maybe you were better off as a tech analyst, as much as you wanted to be as close to Aaron and the team as possible.

“Sorry, I guess I got kind of preoccupied.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, sighing and closing your eyes.

“With what?” Aaron asked you. You scoffed lightly, turning and getting his jacket from behind you and handing it to him. His brows were knitted together as they usually were, but his eyes were a softer brown, filled with something you might place as concern. He reluctantly took the jacket, draping it over his knee. “Is everything okay, (Y/N)?”, he questioned again. Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of your first name on his voice.

“I don’t think I’m right for the field.” He didn’t answer you; he just sat there, listening for what you had to say. You sighed. “I never know what’s right or wrong to say,” you continued, “I don’t know what it means when an unsub acts the way they do or anything that you all are already skilled in. Maybe I would just be better in Quantico, behind a screen.” For some reason, it felt like a confession. You felt guilty, maybe that you’d disappointed him in some way.

“(Y/N), I’m not going to tell you where to go or what to do. Go wherever you’re more comfortable, there’s no pressure. But while you’re here, I want your head in it. Can you do that?” You only nodded, hardly meeting his eyes. His hand rested on top of yours, pulling your eyes to meet his.

“I’m here for you.” He said in a low tone with a small smile, patting your hand. You returned the smile, looking into his amber eyes. Something in the air sizzles between the two of you, but you can’t quite place what the feeling is. But it feels mutual.

He stands, pulling his jacket on. “We’re going to check into the hotel, do you want a ride?” He starts gathering his briefcase and all the files he was looking at together.

“No, I think I’ll just walk.” You say slyly, flashing a smile at him. He looks concerned for a moment like he didn’t realize you were kidding. But then he chuckles, looking at the floor. Your smile grows wider at the fact that you made him laugh.

“Come on, (Y/L/N).”

“Yes, sir.”

-

tags:

@dilaudidwinchester

@awriterincrime

@art-and-thoughts

@royallybookish

@bihoeofmanyfandoms

[not-a-coral-snake]

for @lamenweek Day 8 prompt: “It was one kingdom once”

"Their support is . . . tennous," Berenger says. He shifts his weight. "Your majesty, if I may be so bold . . . You retain their support because they think you are young and tractable. They think they can sway you, if not into abandoning the alliance with Akielos entirely, into minimizing its priority. If you proceed as you plan, you will lose their support entirely."

It’s like this sometimes. His nobles, or Damianos’s, dangling promises of support before them, of difficulties that could be amicably smoothed over, if only the king would be reasonable. The three nobles Berenger is referring to today hold between them a significant portion of Toutaine, rich in timber and mineral resources, and in Lord Mitry’s case, along a strategically-important stretch of the border with Vask. Appease them, and Laurent will have a significant amount more funds and men for fighting the more directly-belligerent of his uncle’s remaining supporters and pursuing the various domestic projects he has planned. Refuse, and Laurent will be likely be faced with years of delayed and short tax payments, a haven for smugglers that will sharply reduce tariff revenue from Vaskian goods, perhaps even a breeding ground for more direct rebellion. 

It comes as little surprise. Laurent knows it would be difficult to find broad support for his plans with Akielos even if he had political capital to spare. Knows how little political capital surviving his uncle's court has left him. Knows whatever tolerance, whatever grudging deference, he has wrangled out of his court by virtue of their nearly executing him on false charges is fleeting.

“Invite the Toutainais nobles to court for the snowmelt festivities,” Laurent says. “We can give them an opportunity to attempt to convince me of the wisdom of their position. It will be as much a chance for me to reassure them of the logic of mine.”

Berenger nods, jots down a note. “Shall I delay the announcement of the new trade policy with Akielos until after their visit, then?” he says.

Laurent pauses, shakes his head. There is only so much to be gained by stringing the Toutainais nobles along for a few weeks longer. “We cannot allow the reservations of a handful of northern lords to dictate our policies for the nation,” he says. “Announce the trade policy as planned.”

*    *    *

It had been an impulsive proposal, uniting the kingdoms, born out of high emotion rather than logic. Laurent is reminded of this every time he is faced with its costs. He had been dehydrated, had not slept in thirty hours. Damianos had lost rather a lot of blood. It was one kingdom once.

They do not plan to unite it into one kingdom again immediately or all at once. They had announced, in those early days in Ios, simply an alliance. In the negotiations that followed, they had laid out a stronger, more intimate alliance than was usual. They plan, over the next several years, to strengthen the terms of the alliance still further, the alliance’s existing success hopefully serving as an argument in favor of further entanglement. 

In the meantime, they plan to harmonize the workings of their respective governments, to increase trade and cultural exchange. They will join the kingdoms later, when Akielons and Veretians are no longer strangers to each other, when laws and governments can be joined without friction, when trades and interdeallings have grown to a point that union seems more natural than not. 

Moving the capital of each kingdom to Marlas has been an early success. Veretians are proud to once again rule over Delfeur, and see the court at Marlas as a literal and obvious symbol of their reign. Akielons, aware that Veretians possesses the province on paper, are glad of the new capital as evidence that Akielos still, in the ways that matter, holds Delpha. 

Damen smiles fondly at the gracefully shifting narratives Laurent employs when speaking of the two countries’ decision to form a court at Marlas, the flexible, carefully-chosen explanations he uses that allow everyone, Veretian or Akielon, to view the new capital as a win for their side. Laurent, for his part, never denies outright that greater unity with Akielos was his main goal in moving the capital.

*    *    *

There are costs for Damen too, among the kyroi and the powerful noble families of the Akielon court. 

Even with the lingering doubts and resentment left in the wake of Kastor’s coup, Damen’s position in his own court upon taking the throne was stronger than Laurent’s was. The rumors meant to delegitimize Damen after his return from Vere had never really had time to take root, and few of Kastor’s supporters had been truly loyal to Kastor himself, rather than Theomedes’s bloodline. Damen is a beloved warrior, a hero, triumphantly returned from supposed death to claim his rightful throne. He has the support of his people for whatever grand and improbable project he might wish to take on. 

The first grand and improbably project Damen takes on, however, is ending slavery. He and Laurent agree: ending slavery as early in Damen’s reign as possible is a moral imperative, as well as a practical one. Whatever chance there is of winning broad acceptance in Akielos to ending slavery, it will be the greatest while the knowledge of the king of Akielo’s time as a slave is still a raw wound, while that king’s survival and seeming return from death still seems like a miracle. In the days of still-unsettled emotion at the beginning of Damen’s reign, ending slavery becomes a way of channeling the people’s fervor, allowing all the shock and outrage and gratitude and shame the people feel upon learning his story to be converted into action.

It is also probably for the best that the people of Akielos do not associate the end of slavery with growing Veretian influence in Akielon affairs.

When the project to end slavery succeeds, it is in the eyes of both kings a monumental triumph. If I do nothing else of worth during my reign, Damen thinks, I can nonetheless be proud of my achievements, having accomplished this.

As things stand, though, Damen has other plans as well. And as he begins the process of moving Akielos towards unification with Vere, he finds he has a steeper uphill battle ahead of him now than before. There is talk that the young king is trying to change too much, too fast. Overconfident, perhaps. There are enough of Kastor’s more subtle supporters left at court to become a focus point for the murmurs of discontent that arise. Damen’s throne is hardly in danger, but building support for his policies is increasingly a matter of strategic effort rather than easy assurance. 

Unfortunately, Laurent’s presence at court has a tendency to exacerbate these weaknesses. When Laurent attends meetings with the kyroi, he becomes a proxy for criticism the kyroi would not dare direct at Damen himself. In one meeting concerning defense against Vaskian raids, the pace of the meeting slows to a crawl as the kyroi present Laurent with objection after objection. They argue with Laurent, try to pick open holes in his logic, even ask for confirmation his sources of information are reliable and his calculations correct. Damen would be outraged on Laurent’s behalf, except that Laurent is clearly unbothered by their rudeness. He seems to be enjoying himself even, sidestepping their traps easily and demolishing each objection almost as quickly as it’s raised. He’s anticipated nearly every one of the arguments the kyroi fling at him, Damen notices. So instead, Damen sits back and watches appreciatively as Laurent wins endless battles of words. 

In private, after the meeting ends, Nikandros is livid. “They have no business speaking to a king like that,” he says. “Even a foreign one. To ask you if you were certain about the timing—they had no place—”

Laurent is silent for a while, reassessing, as Nikandros paces the room. “That wasn’t normal political discourse, then,” he says finally. “Akielon protocol does not allow for direct critique of a king’s line of reasoning.” 

“You let people speak to you that way in your own country?” Nikandros says, amazed. 

Laurent shrugs noncommittally, but Damen has attended enough meetings with the Veretian council and nobility to know that yes, this sort of back-and-forth is relatively common in Vere. And not merely a product of Laurent’s previously-tarnished reputation with the court, but instead a result of the different ways Veretians demonstrate power and deference. 

But later, after Nikandros has left, Laurent says, “I am a weakness to you here in more ways than I thought.” He bites his lip.

“I did not think you minded their questioning,” Damen says.

Laurent says, “I knew, being here, that more people would claim that I wield undue influence over you. That some would dismiss our ideas as too Veretian, that some would whisper that you were thinking with your cock. But most of those people would be saying as much anyway even if I were not in Ios in person.

“But by being here, in person, I have become a proxy for all the criticism they would make of you, and cannot. They can criticize me, and in criticizing me they can make you appear weak. Perhaps I should return to Marlas.”

There is a truth to Laurent’s words, for all that Damen’s mind rebels against it. Knowing now the typical deference afforded a king in policy meetings, Laurent can adjust his own behavior. Damen knows without any doubt that Laurent, if he wanted to, could make any man who questions him instantly regret being born.

But he will be a proxy for criticism not just in meetings, where he is present to defend himself, but in every conversation resentful nobles have with each other. Kastor’s former supporters will complain of Laurent, instead of Damen, and nobles who would never dare criticize Damen will feel comfortable joining in. The more Laurent is present in Ios, the more he is seen to have a direct hand in any particular issue, the more policies the court will find it safe to disparage.  

Damen could agree, could let Laurent return to Marlas and remain in Ios alone. They could correspond by letter, could still shape policy together at a distance. It could work that way. It might even work better that way. And yet—

“You should stay,” Damen says. Whatever the tradeoffs, it’s worth it to have Laurent here, to have Laurent in meetings observing the kyroi’s behavior himself, to be able to consult with him every day, to be able to spend evenings together making plans and picking their way through problems. 

Laurent raises an eyebrow, but some of the tension is already leaving his shoulders. “I work better when you’re here,” Damen says. “The kyroi will have to get used to you.”

*    *    *

There is a set of reasons Laurent uses with the Veretian court to argue in favor of alliance: easier and more lucrative trade, a relaxing of border defenses that allows greater resource use elsewhere, cultural exchange that will improve Veretian knowledge of medicine, engineering, crafts. And it is true that there are indeed advantages of unification for Vere. But Laurent sees on the faces of the Council and the more politically-inclined nobility, at times, that they know, as Laurent himself does, that these advantages are not great enough to justify gambling on such a radical change. It is the same, Damen tells him, with the kyroi. 

With the common people of the two kingdoms, the kings take a different approach. An unlikely romance between enemy princes makes for a good story, and tales spread across the countryside with little effort on Damen and Laurent’s part. Before long, seemingly every village poet and traveling minstrel has their own version of the story, all of them full of battles and adventure and heart-wrenching sentimentality. The common people of Akielos and Vere know the truth: the kings are bringing the kingdoms together out of love. It’s easy to become invested in their love story. It’s easy to hope for it to have a happy ending. In the north of Vere and the south of Akielos, where the common people can safely assume alliance will have little effect on their own lives, that’s for the most part enough to build broad support for the kings’ plans. 

For the people who live near the border, things are a lot less abstract. The border people have the strongest opinions, both in favor of the alliance and against it. Some are very glad of the chance of a lasting peace. Some are very, very nationalist. But the people of the border are also the closest to the court at Marlas, and thus have the greatest opportunity to see the alliance working, the joint court working. Laurent and Damen are optimistic that distrust and resentment are declining in Delfeur, that casual interactions between Akielons and Veretians are on the rise. 

It will be difficult to build enthusiasm among the nobility for full unification, Laurent knows. He considers, some days, whether it was a mistake to attempt to present them with compelling practical reasons. There is no logic-based way to convince them, because unification is not, at its heart, a decision rooted in logic. He imagines sometimes what it would be like, to tell the court that he is going to unite Vere and Akielos because he is madly in love. The idea is amusing, and in equal parts frightening and tempting in its vague transgressiveness. He’s not really sure he can carry off such a thing convincingly, for all that it is the truth: he has not yet lost his reputation as icy-blooded. And if he could convince them, well. He has only barely lost his reputation as petty and selfish. He would not like to give the court reason to once again heed his uncle’s words.

Still, he and Damen have undeniably learned the importance of emotion in politics. When it comes time to transition from alliance to unification, they plan to draw upon the reservoirs of nationalist and expansionist fervor that had persisted in Akielos and Vere for centuries and had been cultivated so strongly by Theomedes and Aleron. The dream of empire still sleeps in each court. Damen and Laurent plan to wake that dream, to persuade their people that in unifying with their historic enemy, they are not losing their national identity but becoming part of something greater. Returning to a former greatness that was always their destiny.

“And then some meddlesome baron will probably come up and start lecturing you that restoring the Artesian Empire for the first time in a thousand years is increasing the incidental expenses of tax collection by six and a half percent,” Damen says, trying to hide his smile. 

“And it would serve me right, too, I suppose you mean,” Laurent says, smiling too. 

*    *    *

“A trying day, love?” Damen asks when Laurent enters their chambers one night, as Laurent had somehow known he would. Laurent’s posture, he fancies, is straight-backed as ever, but Damen can always spot the tension Laurent tries not to show. 

“Lords Becquet and Merault and Lady Daumont still oppose the new legal code,” he says, hand absentmindedly beginning work loosening the laces on one sleeve. Damen has crossed the room already, is starting work undoing the laces on the back of Laurent’s jacket. “They’ve got the ear of Councillor Mahiet, and I fear they may convince her to change her mind again and withdraw her support.” As king, Laurent no longer requires the Council to approve his actions, but their support is still important to lend his policies an air of legitimacy. 

“Their objection was that there was too large a difference in penalty for violent and non-violent offenses?” Damen says, and Laurent sighs.

“So they claim. I met with Merault and Daumont today to discuss their objections, and they have little real interest in amendments or adjustments. Their real objection, I suspect, is that the proposed system is too Akielon.” It’s a setback, and against the background of the ongoing situation with the Toutainais nobles, a disappointing one.

The proposed legal code is, by design, neither excessively Akielon nor excessively Veretian. In cases where Veretian and Akielon laws had been too disparate to be blended smoothly and retain any kind of internally-consistent logic, there are sections with distinctly more influence from one country or the other. But care had been taken, both by the kings and their advisors in drafting the overall structure of the code and the bureaucrats who had written the actual language, to create a system that prioritized neither country’s existing laws. 

They had also sought to create a system that was more modern, easier to understand, and more just than the existing systems, with the unfortunate result that some new policies originating from neither Akielon nor Veretian law were occasionally mistaken for additional foreign influence. 

“Too Akielon,” Damen repeats. “If only my nobles felt the same way.” Laurent lets out a sigh that is half laugh.

“It’s a thornier problem to solve,” Laurent says. The legal code needs broad support in order to succeed, from the thousands of nobles, mayors, town headsmen, and bailiffs who will be responsible for following it as they mete out justice across two kingdoms. “For many of my nobles, any Akielon influence is too much, and no amount of reasoning will convince them that I am not being somehow taken advantage of.”

“The problem is not that the code is too Akielon-influenced, only that they perceive it to be so,” Damen says, musing. He lifts the open jacket from Laurent’s shoulders. 

“You want to make a spurious proposal so that I can publicly shoot you down?” Laurent guesses. They’ve used this maneuver and its inverse before.

“It’s worked pretty well in the past.” 

“We need Akielon nobles to support and enforce the new laws too.”

“Yes, but the code seems more popular there at the moment. The nobility appreciate the simplified approach to entail and inheritance laws. And Veretian influence in the new code has effectively lowered Akielon agricultural taxes.”

“Yes, I suppose if your spurious proposal is an attempt to keep your nobles’ taxes high, avarice will temper their resentment of me somewhat,” Laurent says. A pause. “It may still make you look weak at your own court, for a time.” It’s becoming easier for Laurent, to admit his own weaknesses, to ask for help, but it’s always hardest when that help comes at a cost for Damen.

“I’m not worried about that at the moment, not so soon after destroying that pirate haven that was menacing Isthima.”

Laurent is silent for a while, considering. “Well then, I will await your proposed changes with pleasure and profound skepticism,” Laurent says. Damen laughs, and they continue getting ready for bed.

“And Damen?” Laurent says, after they’re tucked under the blankets together. “Thank you.”

*    *    *

Laurent does lose the support of the Toutainais nobles. Damen loses the support of the kyros of Kesus and much of the nobility from Aegina. Sometimes almost as concerning as the supporters they lose is the supporters that they do have. They each have untrustworthy allies—people whose power at court they would very much rather minimize, but who throw themselves into organizing support for the alliance in order to try to make themselves essential. Chelaut, who is far less innocent of the regent’s plans than he would have the court believe, retains his council seat by making himself one of the earliest and most vocal supporters of the alliance. In the same way, Damen finds himself publicly overlooking Heston’s former support for Kastor’s faction after Heston begins work organizing support for stronger ties with Vere.

For each mote of progress they make towards unification, it sometimes seems, there is another trade-off or setback. Mostly they weather the challenges well together. Often, the challenges bring them even closer together. They learn more about each other’s strengths and weaknesses and manners of thinking, grow to appreciate each other more, learn to rely upon each other without question. But there are nonetheless times when they struggle to understand each other’s point of view, days when they bicker constantly about one policy or another, days when they fight bitterly about them. 

Worst is when distance or work has kept them from really seeing each other for days or weeks, and then a fight ruins the long-anticipated time they do have to see each other. On days like that, Laurent hates the unification project for stealing so much of the time he and Damen might have spent together, and then poisoning what time they have left. 

There are times when Laurent has been alone in Arles or Marlas for so many weeks or months he finds himself settling into routine, finds himself growing half-convinced that he could be content like this: Ruling alone. Living a quiet, useful life, returning each night to empty rooms with a book for company.

And sometimes, Laurent finds himself thinking that if this could be enough on its own, maybe unification won’t be worth it. Maybe it would be better to leave things as they are, the kingdoms apart but at peace. For him and Damen to rule their separate courts, lives simpler without the constant uphill struggles that come from strengthening the alliance. To use the leisure that uncomplicated reigns would bring to see each other a few times each year, their time together limited by distance but unmarred by stressful days and fights over policies and strategy. Perhaps that could be enough. Perhaps that would be for the best. 

And then he sees Damen again, and knows that this is worth it. A lantern may be considered bright in the darkness, Laurent thinks, but it would never compare to the sun. The contentment he might have had with an easier reign alone is nothing compared to the happiness he has ruling alongside Damen. Anyway, it’s not in his nature or in Damen’s to turn their back on a commitment once made or a challenge once taken on.

In the darkness of the Ios palace baths, sleep deprived and dehydrated and losing blood, Laurent and Damen had made a choice. Now, with ample time to consider, in the comfort of study and council chamber and throne room, they make it again and again and again. It will be one kingdom, someday.

[acciofanfics]

Rule Breaker (Percy Weasley x Reader) SMUT

Request: Hi, I was wondering if you guys could write smut with Percy where both are Gryffindor perfect ( they are on last year in Hogwarts ) and Percy breaks the rules for the first time and they have a first time in prefect bathroom.

Pairing: Percy Weasley x FemReader

Warnings: SMUT, perhaps a bit of language? Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!) and I think that’s it??

Word Count: 1,730

A/N: I hope this isn’t too OOC! I don’t know too much about Percy, but I do hope I did him justice and you like it! Also requests are still open and I am having so much fun writing lately! Also I had a hard time finding a gif...- S

____________________________________________________________

Molly and Arthur rarely left Fred, George, Ron or Ginny alone in the burrow. The first three couldn’t be trusted to not get into some sort of trouble and they were always a little more protective over Ginny (she was the only girl). However, Percy they knew they could trust. He was definitely the responsible one, already a prefect and surely on his way to being Head Boy. No there was no reason they would ever second guess their decision to let him and (Y/N) stay at the burrow while they took Harry and his siblings to do some last minute shopping at Diagon Alley.

(Y/N) and Percy sat comfortably on the older couch. It was nice to have a little alone time, they’d been ‘dating’ since 3rd year and it was a rare occurrence. Between being young and being at Hogwarts there was little time for romance. “It’s so quiet.” Percy commented on the lack of annoyance coming from his siblings.

“It’s a little weird,” (Y/N) giggled, “We could talk or we could....”

Percy leaned across the couch and planted a kiss on her lips. It was innocent at first, as it always was. Something was a bit different this time though; perhaps it was the knowledge of no interruptions or maybe it was the fact that they’re a good deal older than when their crushes first formed. Either way what was once an innocent kiss turned heated, even more so than the kisses they’d shared occasionally in the common room when everyone else was already in bed. Hands wanders and groped and before Percy even thought about what he was doing, he helped (Y/N) lift her jumper off.

“Percy, mum wants to know if- Oh god!” Fred yelped, and tried to hide a laugh when (Y/N) pushed Percy off of her and scrambled to reapply her sweater. He turned around, “Nevermind! I’ll just tell her you’re busy trying to make her a grandchild!”

(Y/N) and Percy were sure Fred didn’t actually give them up, because Molly and Arthur didn’t seem phased at all. Of course, the two love birds were on edge until they arrived at Hogwarts; it was only then that they were sure Mr. and Mrs. Weasley weren’t plotting some elaborate punishment. Unfortunately, even then things didn’t go back to normal... it was only the first week of school and Percy had barely seen (Y/N) despite both being Gryffindor prefects.

Percy had been making an effort to keep their interactions minimal. That day, back on the couch, something had snapped. She was all he could think about, and the thoughts weren’t rarely innocent. Sure, he thought about it before; it was only natural. They’d been together for a long time and they were both practically adults. Hell, they’d even snogged before, but maybe it was the fact that they’d never been THAT close before, because those thoughts had always been somewhat fleeting or at the very least easily pushed back. Not anymore.

(Y/N) wasn’t stupid. She knew very well he was ignoring her and she had enough of it. She’d stalked right up to him while he was patrolling the corridors, “Percy, we need to talk. Meet me at the prefects bathroom tonight, 6 pm?” It came out more as a question but before Percy even had a chance to tell her that would be highly inappropriate, she had spun around and walked away from him.

Needed to talk? Once Fred and George found out they’d told him clearly he wasn’t good enough in the sack and now she was going to get rid of him. Percy didn’t feel it necessary to correct them, it would probably only result in more teasing, but alas he was worried. Maybe she would want to get rid of him.... he hadn’t exactly been a doting boyfriend as of late. His mind reeled the rest of the evening and by the time he reached the prefects’ bathroom he didn’t even think about it before he whispered the password (pine-fresh) and walked right in. “(Y/N)! I didn’t mean to...”

She was seated comfortably in the elaborate bathtub already, he hair twisted into a neat bun and everything but her bare shoulders covered by the bubbles. She chose to ignore him and get straight to the point, “Percy, I’ve been thinking. Lately you’ve been ignoring me, there’s no need to deny it we both know it’s true. Anyways, it always boils down to that afternoon at your house, when Fred interrupted. Do you regret the direction we were headed?”

“No!” Percy was thankful that (Y/N) was a pretty straight forward person (at least with him). She never made him guess what she was feeling, but that didn’t help him right now. He still had to explain what he felt. “Well, that’s not entirely true. Since that interaction... I’ve had a hard time concentrating around you and I worry that maybe we aren’t on the same page? And now we’re at school so it’s not even possible if by some miracle you did feel the same.”

(Y/N) chuckled at him, “You can be a bit thick at times. Percy... there’s no one around now.”

“But...” No there was not.... but that was probably breaking at least 20 rules all at once. Of course being in here with her then was probably grounds for expulsion now. Maybe he could be a little harsher with some younger students and indirectly deduct some house points from himself.... Percy was struggling to come up with a reason to walk away, “You have a point...”

(Y/N) could see Percy’s mind unraveling, and she felt a little guilty, but they had to deal with this. “I’m not trying to push you into anything, Perce.”

“Could you just... turn around for a moment?” It wasn’t that Percy hadn’t wanted to. He just shouldn’t, and his biggest conundrum was that usually he didn’t want to if it meant he shouldn’t. He supposed he wasn’t too conflicted because when she turned around he quickly shed his clothing, putting them in a neat pile, and slipped into the hot bath water. He settled himself close enough that she could see he was in, but not close enough he was touching her.

(Y/N) smiled softly at him. Cautiously she moved closer to him. Percy’s face was only a few shades lighter than his own hair, “You sure you’re okay, Perce?”

Merlin he hated feeling this way. He was normally quite confident in his skills and abilities. He just hadn’t had the opportunity to perfect this aspect of his life, “Yes. I just haven’t-“

She couldn’t help but laugh. Of course she quickly stopped when she saw he wasn’t amused, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean like that, really! But we’ve been together since we were kids Percy, I would surely hope not since I haven’t either.”

That was a good point. He didn’t know why that hadn’t crossed his mind. By no means was he no longer nervous, but he was definitely put more at ease, he even chuckled along with her, “You’re right! I don’t know why I didn’t-“

She cut him off by kissing him, hopefully if she caught him while he was acting normal he wouldn’t have a chance to revert to acting so odd. It worked, and Percy melted into the familiarity of her lips. Their lips and tongues moved together and for a moment he’d forgotten about their predicament, until he reached out to grab her and instead of the fabric of her school robe his palms caught her wet bare skin. They paused again for a moment, but that was only for a moment. The desire that they had suppressed since the summer was back full-fold.

(Y/N) pressed herself against Percy and he had to bite back a groan as she rubbed against him. Both of their hands roamed freely without any hinderances of clothes and it was greatly appreciated by both parties. (Y/N) slid her right hand down his chest, delving lower until she captured his hardened shaft in her hand. Any concern she may have had about being too forward disappeared when he moaned into her mouth. She began stroking him, varying the speed of palm based on the reactions it elicited from him.

Percy didn’t know if he could pinpoint exactly what it was that was had him feeling like he’d snuck firewhiskey from the cupboard. It was probably a mixture of hormones, the naked girl in front of him and perhaps Fred and George were right about breaking the rules being fun. Whatever it was had him acting instinctively, and he mimicked his girlfriend to some degree. He reached between her legs and began to tease her as well, when she began bucking her hips against his palm he gave in and dipped his finger inside of her... and then another one.

They became a mess of sloppy kisses and moans, both experimenting with different movements and methods that brought another grunt of approval from their mouths. Until Percy grabbed her hand and brought her to an abrupt stop, “I can’t handle much more of this.”

Wordless (Y/N) guided him to the shallower end of the bath, where the could both sit with the water only reaching right below their chests. Percy tried to focus on the newly exposed flesh while she slid onto him. He laid kisses across her breasts and neck as he waiting for her to adjust to the new feeling that he had to imagine would be much more uncomfortable to her.

(Y/N) gave herself a moment, the experience wasn’t nearly as bad as she has prepared for. Perhaps it was that she had more control in their positions or that she had been properly worked up before hand, but she found it more uncomfortable than anything. With Percy’s mouth and hands distracting her, she began to move her hips, and slowly the uncomfortable feeling phased into a pleasurable one.

It was probably only a few minutes before the slow pace quickened. His hips snapped up to meet hers and it wasn’t long at all before they both gave into the new and intense pleasure, coming undone in each other’s arms.

A goofy grin was on both of their lips and Percy placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, “Wow. Might have to break the rules more often if you’re involved.”

[something-very-special]

"Yeah, I'm... kinda special that way."

Minding my own business, working on another observations/impressions post, and then I realize I've accidentally spent half an hour theorycrafting based on twenty seconds of dialogue.

This got utterly out of hand. NieR conjecture, possibly spoilers, presumptions of deep lore knowledge.

This bowled me over: BroNier goes to visit Emil and they have an entire conversation about how Emil hasn't aged. I mean he hasn't (don't know if you noticed, it's hard to spot) but this was insane to me for two reasons: one, they didn't discuss this at all in Gestalt, and two, has Brother NOT been visiting him?! Popola mentions the letter with a familiarity that implies that Emil's name has become a regular part of the parlance between herself and Nier. Presumably they've kept up correspondence regarding un-petrifying Kaine, but I got a feeling from Papa Nier that he had been regularly visiting Emil, not just writing letters. Maybe it's because Papa Nier didn't even mention the difference so it just felt verboten that obviously it had come up some time in the last five years and they both just shrugged, but... Obviously the two still have a really good relationship so at least they've been keeping up correspondence (between Emil's insanely upbeat letterhead and the warmth with Brother greets him, which really hits in a whole different way by contrast to Brother's constant, simmering anger), but it was peculiar, and I don't believe that line was in the original. I still can't read Japanese so I'm talking out of my ass here, but I just feel like the entire exchange was much shorter (fitting with the conversation Papa has) and like it was added for the benefit of the audience. Kind of a 'no, we didn't forget to give him a new model, this is deliberate'. It does vaguely upset me that there was apparently a need to clarify. One of my favorite gameplay experiences was going through this with my friend-- I had done the full Ending D run so I knew exactly what was going on, but I was introducing the game to her in a Labor Day marathon so I was getting a lot of first-time reactions. She'd fallen in love with Emil at this stage, too, and was very excited to see how he grew up after the five year timeskip. I recall her audible confusion, and to have it actually addressed and explained away feel like a deprivation of a wonderful moment. Although the initial reaction is still there. I think I like playing this game alongside other people because, while I'll never be able to experience it for the first time again, I can do so vicariously through others. The person I'm playing with now is familiar with the original (from years ago) and also had a moment of audible confusion. Even disregarding that, it's difficult to be too offended because it introduces another bit of intrigue that's always been kind of on the back of my mind; how long has Emil been awake? I had been under the assumption that he had been put into a similar hibernation as the Gestalts (or at least some form of sealing, having fulfilled his duties as a weapon for a nearly-extinct humankind) and woken up relatively recently-- recently enough that he wasn't aware of his effective immortality, and of course being so isolated from the world and having his memories wiped the fact that he wasn't maturing just might not have registered (or maybe just been rolled in with 'I dunno man I'm a cute gorgon I'm already kinda weird!'). However, here, it's not only acknowledged, but something that he actively tries to brush aside when Brother asks him about it. "Yeah, I'm... special that way." So he's fully aware that, basilisk gaze aside, there something ain't right about him and it implies, if not shame, at least some level of discomfort. Which in turn leads me to ask a question that hadn't really occurred to me before-- how would he have had the experience to know Brother or Father's age and build by the sound of their footsteps? Obviously he's encountered people before; can't learn that just by listening to the scrabbling of your giant spiders. And that ties in to the observation that, of course, he's wearing the style of Seafront. If he didn't have his memory from the weapons laboratory then he had to have realized more recently the nature of his petrifying gaze; the statues in the courtyard are consistent with the 3300-era styles, which could be discarded as just

reusing extant NPCs until again you remember that they made Emil this complex and knew he'd only be around for an hour. It wouldn't have been out of the question to just put the male statue in a semblance of a suit-- just some little oddity. It's an unmoving model, after all, a relatively minimal timesink; how many hours do you think went into programming the seals? (A lot of hours. A lot of love. Look at those boys roll away.) So he must have encountered other people, from Seafront. The manor is considered 'haunted' in modern times, so it must not have been particularly recent, although probably also not that far back (it's hard to imagine they just never went to the library for decades-- although I assume that Rubrum actually wasn't active until after Weiss had been awakened, it was her activation that attracted the Shades, and it was this factor that alerted Sebastian to the possibility of being able to find the petrification research in her pages. That's all pure conjecture on my part). So long has Emil actually been awake and active? A while. Given his response to Brother mentioning he doesn't age, probably much longer than he would care to admit. Which leads to further conjecture, and of course this was always an eerie question: how did those statues wind up in the courtyard? Who were they? If Emil didn't remember anything from the weapons laboratory and just his more recent memories... why would he be so ashamed of his power? What did he do? By the time we meet him he's already, um... not doing so well. Kaine pegs him immediately as being the same as her; blessed with a horrific power, frightened and ashamed of what he's capable of, quietly harboring feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing ("You told me that even a life such as mine has value!"), and perhaps not... entirely... dismissive of dying. (He is, like, super okay with putting himself between Rubrum and everybody else in the library-- and Replicant actually changes Weiss' line from 'Brave words, but I see your knees quaking in fear!' to one that says it's pointless because everybody else is already too dumb to retreat, implying that Emil wasn't necessarily being brave so much as he put the worth of his own life below that of people he met anywhere from five minutes to twenty seconds ago. That or he knows he has about ten times as much HP as Brother does and with his staggering M. Def can tank hits from Rubrum for days.) I don't think it's a particularly hot take (even from me, on this blog, probably) to assume that Something Happened in the past that caused Emil to brand himself a monster and shut himself away in the Manor. What's only just really sinking in for me is just how far back int he timeline that might have actually happened, and how different the circumstances were when it did. How long has he been in the Manor, then? I used to assume a few years. I figured the statues were from before-- more concurrent with the audio drama, 'present day' more or less. Thinking on it again? It's... been a while.

[hyliandude]

Learning Music Log - Day 1:

I am someone that has never played an instrument, never been part of band, never even known how to start. For the past year I’ve been fascinated with Lo-Fi music, so I figured I’d try making some myself. Again, with no experience in anything myself, I figured I’d need some tools to make electronic music. An old friend of mine from high school had some songs signed and sold through Beatport, and I remember him using FL Studio at home. Just messing around with the tools was interesting to watch, but the interface and process always intimidated me.

Another artist I follow on my art blog, Artem Solop, is also big into making his own electronic music and beats. Although I do not know him personally, I have always liked his style. The unique thing about his method, is that he utilizes his Nintendo DS and Switch as instruments. Synths, Compressors, and Drum Machines have always intrigued me, but I could never tell one thing from the other, and here was this guy using them from his Nintendo consoles to make something sounds good. Cables routed from one system to another – how does he do it?

I figured I’d plunge in headfirst – well, as “headfirst” as I could while still adhering to baby steps…I know the hobby can be expensive if left unchecked.

I bought KORG Gadget for Nintendo Switch about 2 weeks ago to start this journey – an inexpensive grab through Amazon for just 30$. I have no idea what it is, but it’s what Artem seems to use in his videos. The tool is described as such:

-Robust music composition/production tools in a compact cartridge

-Simple to use and easy to understand; anyone can create music anywhere and everywhere

-16 different synthesizer and drum machine gadgets with additional DLC gadgets available

-Gadgets have retro-inspired tactile control knobs that you can turn by rotating the Joy-Con controllers

And to be honest, it did not disappoint. It was a great way to wrap my mind around the synths, tracks, and “scenes” as they are laid out in the simple to use interface. I was determined to begin this journey in a self-taught, but organized manner. I had googled a few things before starting anything:

1. Simple music theory – I had no idea that notes/scales determine how well something sounds. A lot of you may think that that’s obvious, but again, my music knowledge started in 4th grade with a mandatory recorder recital and ended with the 5 colors on the guitar hero guitar. At the most basic level, I learned that scales could be set (C Major, A minor, etc.) and most tools used to create music (a digital audio workstation, or DAW for short) had a setting to allow “helpers” that would highlight keys in any given scale. From there on, I figured out that experimenting and playing randomly sounded better if I followed the scale guidelines.

2. How different chords on a piano/keyboard evoke different emotions depending on what scale you’re in. Major chord happy. Minor chord sad.

3. After talking to my fiancé (a former band geek that played flute!) I also learned that the concept of “chords” did not apply to the flute, so I also realized how different instruments were from one another…

Aside from those few things, I didn’t really look into anything else before attempting to ‘craft’ a song on the Switch.

Immediately, I could tell that the different synth gadgets varied and specialized in different things. The Marseille gadget had some great piano, electric piano, and orchestral instrument presets; the Helsinki gadget was great at ambient/relaxing sounds; the London drum gadget was great at…well…drum sounds and beats! Each of the city inspired gadgets brought something unique to the table. The Switch’s controls were intuitive. Copying and pasting, moving notes, playing tracks vs. just playing scenes was something that I was able to pick up in around 30 minutes without even ‘sniffing’ the user guide. By messing around I actually learned more about notes, half beats, and chord progressions all on my own.

Before I knew it, I had crafted a song that was about 3 minutes long. Deep, ambient intro, catchy simple melody, and the typical ‘lo-fi’ drums set to 79 BPM. I was impressed at how good it sounded. I knew there were things I was messing up, or could probably do better, but I was still proud of it.

Hopping on to YouTube I found a TON of tutorials covering music theory, lo-fi beat making lessons, “dos and don’ts”, best plugins for DAWs and more. Before long, I invested in an AKAI Professional MPK Mini Play USB MIDI Keyboard controller (hastily, as it seems like the Arturia Minilab might have been a better grab? Lmk), got set up with a subscription to Melodics HQ to learn the basics of playing a keyboard, and installed FL Studio on my computer. After a week of using the Korg Gadget on Switch, I found that FL Studio had a bunch of the same principals in its interface, and I found myself digging in with minimal research into how to use the tool.

By purchasing the Korg Gadgets online, I was able to continue using the same tools I was already familiar with on the Switch inside of FL Studio’s more robust interface.

I was able to recreate the song I made on the Switch in FL Studio. This was a great way to familiarize myself with the tool in an almost step-by-step tutorial I had already made for myself.

After I had gotten a grip with using FL Studio at a basic level, I decided to try mirroring some Lo-fi beat YouTube tutorial videos. To my surprise, I found myself not really liking the final product, even after following the instructor’s guidelines. I don’t think I am a fan of “oh you NEED to do this and this for it to be a good song”. I do think that a basic understanding of music theory is key before even starting, but I don’t know how I feel about new and upcoming musicians following strict rules about how something should sound when it’s literally an art form used for expression and fun.

I was happier with the first song I made just messing around on my Switch than the song I made trying to emulate a Lo-fi beat guided by a professional producer on YouTube… and it got me thinking…I think Giorgio Moroder was right in that one Daft Punk song:

“Once you free your mind about a concept of

Harmony and of music being correct

You can do whatever you want

So nobody told me what to do

And there was no preconception of what to do”

I’m looking forward to learning more – after all, it’s only been a few days!

-Franco