#but i cant like....end it... by ykwim...
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skunkes · 2 months ago
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might just give in and give cow al human feet because after all these years ive never figured out a good stylization for his hooves
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hauntingofhouses · 2 years ago
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Thinking about the crazy love triangle situation in Blue Eye Samurai and debating heavily with myself on how I'd like to see it conclude. And yeah this discussion can be thought of purely as shipping, headcanons, and fandom fun. But when analysing the show and engaging with it in a more in-depth, almost-literary level, it's impossible to dismiss who Mizu's potential love interests are and how different endgame romances would affect her character arc and the overall story and themes.
So in this post I'd like to look at the love triangle a bit more closely, and speculate on where the story will take this.
DISCLAIMER: It is my personal interpretation of the text that Mizu is non-binary—I use this as an umbrella term denoting any gender that does not adhere to the binary restrictions, norms, and expectations of what it means to be either a man or woman in a particular society; it's not just an androgynous "third gender" that exclusively uses they/them pronouns. Thus, while I personally believe Mizu is not strictly a cis woman, she does still identify with womanhood, despite definitely feeling a level of detachment from it due to living as a man for so long. With that being said, I will be using she/her pronouns for Mizu in this post, but please note that this is purely personal preference. Everyone is free to interpret the text the way they like. That's the fun of fiction. Now, without further ado, let's proceed.
Okay so, thinking about the pairings on a purely surface level, and even before i got into the show, I was pinning my hopes on some lesbianism going on between Mizu and Akemi, and the show does hint at this; in Ep1, during their first encounter in Kyoto, there is the famous slow-mo shot of their eyes meeting, Mizu's lips slightly parted as she is unable to tear her gaze away from Akemi, while sweet string music plays in the background. This is clear romantic framing, and a marker of attraction. If Mizu was a cishet man, there would be no question that this is a potential love interest.
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But then, in the same episode, we meet Taigen, who is introduced to us firstly from hearing Akemi's father describe him as "a fierce and undefeated young samurai", the "best swordsman in the best school" and "a fisherman's son from Kohama [...] whose rise reminds [him] of [his] own."
In the next scene, we meet him in person as Akemi's fiance, and he seems sweet enough. He even gives her sweets! In exchange, Akemi gives him gold, and he feels a bit ashamed that he doesn't have anything better to offer her. But Akemi accepts him and his gift wholeheartedly and flirts with him a little, which makes him smile kinda shyly.
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When Akemi confirms their engagement, Taigen is in disbelief because he has no status or noble background, but Akemi reassures him.
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So from these first few scenes, we're introduced to Taigen as an honourable and strong samurai, but also as a man who is sweet and gentle with the woman he is about to marry, as well as aware of his own inferiority when compared to Akemi's high station.
Our view of him then changes as his true self is revealed: he is an arrogant and smug bastard among his peers, but more importantly, he is the terrible bully from Mizu's childhood.
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And it is this side of Taigen--pompous jerk and unrepentant xenophobic bully--that we continue to see as the show goes on, and it's safe to say that this is his real self, sans any pretense of humility and modesty. Around anyone who isn't an outright superior in terms of class and power (ie. Akemi's father, the shogun), Taigen never hesitates to assert his own authority and "greatness."
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But as the show goes on, he gets caught by Heiji Shindo's men, and then tortured. And that's when we see, okay, turns out he's not that bad. He's honourable; "honour" is not just meaningless and superficial pedantry for him, but an internalised, guiding principle.
He was a cruel asshat throughout Mizu's childhood, but in a prejudiced and xenophobic society, he was just playing by the rules. As a child, he knew he was at the bottom of society, but when met with someone even lower ranked than him (Mizu), he can project all those prejudices and insecurities onto someone else. This way of thinking--"if you can't beat 'em, join em"--is what allowed him to climb up the ranks despite being some dirt poor kid from an abusive household*.
*Well, that combined with his cismale privilege of course, because this would not be an option for a woman in similar circumstances.
Thus, his upholding of honour also exemplifies how Taigen embodies the ideals and rules of his society. His insistence on duelling Mizu is another more blatant example of this. He doesn't want revenge like Mizu does. He wants to be accepted by society, within the bounds that society has placed, and that means that his only two options following his defeat at the Shindo dojo were to either chase Mizu down and get his damn duel, or kill himself for his humiliating defeat.
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Now! Moving on from Taigen, let's go back to the other end of this little love triangle: Akemi.
Mizu and Akemi only properly meet in Ep4. During their first meeting, when Akemi tries to poison Mizu in Madame Kaji's brothel, she compliments Mizu's eyes, calling them "beautiful."
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This seems to genuinely take mizu off-guard for a second before she coolly plays along. We know that Mizu recognises Akemi from the get-go, and thus sees through Akemi's ploy from a mile away. It's also safe to assume she'd expected false flattery, because Mizu understands full well that this tactic is how women get what they want: by using their 'feminine wiles' and playing up their naivety and innocence. But even so, it's interesting that Mizu actually seems surprised by Akemi's compliment.
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Then, after Mizu subtly taunts Akemi by lying about Taigen's death, she and Akemi have a bit of a scuffle, and then we get to Mizu saying this:
"Women in our world don't have a single good option. Except you, like some magical forest creature. You could have anything you want, but then you beg to eat trash."
(no screenshot because it's quite a long line but you get it)
Here we see Mizu's opinions on the marginalisation of (mostly poor and under-privileged) women stated outright, and underlying her words is also resentment. Because even though she and Akemi have shared experiences of female oppression, Mizu, unlike Akemi, was also poor, from a rural village, and is a racial minority. Mizu is triply oppressed, while Akemi only faces one primary form of oppression, and to someone as embittered by the world as Mizu is, to see Akemi "beg to eat trash" is a slap in the face, practically tone-deaf to the other injustices around her--injustices which Akemi has not shown much, or any, acknowledgement for at this point.
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Then, after this scene, Mizu kills Kinuyo, and this unsettles her to a degree we've never seen from her before. She is visibly distraught, and the entire sequence hammers the theme of this episode (and arguably, a large portion of the show) into our heads: women in this world suffer. And even though Mizu is well aware of this fact, to commit this act is so visceral that is shakes her to her core, and it's what ultimately leads to the ambush of the Thousand Fangs.
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But before the ambush, Mizu and Akemi talk a little again, and during this time Akemi taunts Mizu some more.
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Right now, Mizu is exhausted to the point where (I believe) she even downs some sake, despite not usually drinking. Thus, worn down, she cuts Akemi's ropes and tells her, "Just go." Akemi recovers from her initial fear of Mizu's blade and taunts her some more, accurately seeing through Mizu's facade of coldness, recognising the raw anger there, and says this:
"I thought you had to be something special. Your face isn't even so scary. You're just... angry."
At this, Mizu is amused and compares Akemi to Taigen ("I see why he likes you. You're just like Taigen when we were children. A fucking brat.")
The reveal that Mizu and Taigen knew each other in childhood surprises Akemi, but before either of them can say more, everything goes to shit.
That's when we get to Ep5. This episode focuses primarily on Mizu, the central piece of this love triangle, and does the most out of all the episodes to shed some light on her character and goals, fleshing her out to be more than just the vengeful, highly proficient samurai we've seen thus far (symbolised by The Ronin), but also a person who is capable of love, domesticity and gentleness (symbolised by The Bride). But in the end, Mizu rejects both these ideals, instead becoming an Onryo, who is neither guided by pride/honour, nor love.
By 'reincarnating' into an Onryo, Mizu is able to win the day and save the women in the brothel. However, as she has now fully embraced her status as an Onryo, and is exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally, she lets the Tokunobu clansmen take Akemi away while Akemi's screams echo in her ear.
Mizu says this choice is for Akemi's own good, that Akemi's better off; because Mizu is jaded and weary, and cannot afford the luxury of idealism, and thus must always be strictly practical and realistic. So of course that's why, in her view, yes, Akemi should not be wasting her time in a brothel where women are exploited and abused, nor should Akemi be so naive to think that her marriage with Taigen is even still possible. However, regardless of Mizu's views, it is not for her to decide, because though Akemi is privileged in some sense, she is still trapped and voiceless, and deserves the right to choose her own destiny.
But as it happens, in the end, though Akemi did not choose who she gets to marry, she DOES get to choose her next move when Edo burns down.
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"I want to be great."
This one line is the key to her entire arc, which is only just beginning. We see she quickly has acquired the affection and good graces of the shogun's son after their wedding night and consummation, and with Madame Kaji and the girls now serving her, Akemi will only grow to become a prominent political player.
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NOW, only after analysing the characters as they are within this season, only can we speculate how their arcs will continue as the show progresses.
First and foremost, I will reassert the popular opinion that Mizu and Akemi are foils. The climax (pun intended) of Ep7 illustrates this as it parallels the turning points in both Mizu's and Akemi's arcs:
Mizu melts the steel of all her loves and shames, the people she's collected: the broken blade wielded by both Chiaki and Taigen, Akemi's knife, Ringo's bell, Master Eiji's tongs - this symbolises her beginning to accept herself, and in doing so, also accepting the help of others;
Akemi consummates her marriage with Takayoshi Itoh, gains his affection, and cements her position as a woman in the shogun's palace - this symbolises her taking charge of her situation, no longer playing the damsel, but using her position to her advantage, empowering both herself and the underprivileged women around her.
These are thus two directly contrasting, diverging journeys:
Mizu's arc moves inward (yin). It is an internal path of self-love and self-discovery, focused on finding peace and tranquility inside herself, and this involves allowing herself to let others into her life, opening herself up to friendship and empathy once more.
Akemi's arc moves outward (yang), it is an external path of growth, transforming from a naive, caged princess to a powerful woman and a force to be reckoned with.
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Akemi is always dressed in red, even her eyes are a bit of a reddish-brown rather than brown-black like most other characters, and in her penultimate scene she stands against a backdrop of flames. She is fire: quick-tempered, passionate, full of energy. Red is powerful, authoritative, and in eastern cultures, it is associated with prosperity.
Mizu is blue: her eyes, her sword, her clothes. She is also named after water; it's where she goes to recover, reflect and meditate. Water is fluid like a brook weaving around a stone in its path, always changing and adapting, it is graceful, it is beautiful and ruthless, tranquil yet swift.
Thus, in the future, I expect we will see plenty of political manoeuvring and intrigue in Akemi's plotline, where she fully embraces control of her life, and begins to take action to help others as well, realising that her own oppression is just one piece in a much larger picture. Her main conflict is with society.
In direct contrast, Mizu's main conflict is with herself. She must realise that her desire for vengeance is a projection of her own deep-rooted self-hatred. Her arc must move towards unpacking her feelings and trauma so she can be at peace with herself and allow space for love in her heart. Because as we saw in Ep5, Mizu had come extremely close to achieving peace and joy, as she had not only loved Mikio, but also had briefly believed that Mikio had loved her (and accepted her for who she is) as well.
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Thus, assuming the story is not planned as a tragedy, Mizu will likely end up getting her vengeance, but it will not satisfy her, because it is not what she needs. What she needs is to let go of the Onryo within her and to reconcile both The Ronin and The Bride within herself, as she is both a fighter and a lover, but not a monster.
(Edit: I recommend checking out this post by @stylographic-blue-rhapsody for a much clearer analysis about Mizu'a symbolism as Ronin, Bride and Onryo!)
And now that we've mostly covered each of the characters individually, we can finally get to the main point of this post: the love triangle.
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Let's talk about Option A: Akemi.
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As I covered extensively earlier, Mizu and Akemi are foils, a yin-yang pair. But while they play off each other very well in a thematic sense, I personally believe that a serious romance between them will be more complicated if they become endgame. This is because Akemi's natural resolution is to embrace a position of power and influence, where she has both freedom and control over herself and to make much-needed changes in a prejudiced society. Meanwhile, Mizu's natural resolution is the opposite; her happy ending would to find a peaceful life where she is safe and free from prying eyes, and able to be her true self.
Thus, it would make very little sense for Akemi to forfeit power and run away with Mizu and start a humble life together. Akemi wants to be great, and that is absolutely what she deserves. On the other end of the spectrum, it would also make little sense for Mizu to dedicate her life in service of Akemi, such as acting as a bodyguard or something similar, because a life in a palace full of court intrigue and conspiracies is far from what Mizu needs to be happy.
With that being said, if Mizu/Akemi is endgame, and assuming their overarching character arcs do not shift directions, their love story would likely be either tragic, doomed, or bittersweet. I do absolutely love this type of story because personally I'm a sucker for catharsis, so it would be very interesting if the writers do decide to take this route.
Also, as a note, please do not take this as me dunking on this pairing. This is just my personal opinion and analysis and I completely understand if you disagree!
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Then, of course, we have Option B: Taigen.
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Between Akemi and Mizu, Taigen is a bit of a free-floater here, because Season 1 leaves off at a point where his arc is very ambiguous as to where it's headed. While Akemi climbs for greatness and Mizu goes on a journey across the ocean to (presumably) discover more about her heritage, we have little clues about where Taigen is headed. And if I'm being honest, I'm sure he has no idea either! He still hasn't reclaimed his honour, so he would be unable to rejoin the Shindo Dojo; he's been rejected by Akemi; and while he showed loyalty to the shogun, the shogun is now dead, and all the shogun's men who had witnessed his "humiliating" death were left to die by Lady Itoh, who is now pulling the strings within the palace.
Therefore, Taigen has very few options here.
And when considering his role in the story is as Mizu's begrudging ally, his arc will undoubtedly be focused on unlearning his xenophobia and misogyny, the latter of which we have not seen yet, but is surely present. Now, whether he will do this in Mizu's presence or absence will be unknown until we see Season 2. Following the Season 1 finale, he might return to Kohama and wait for Mizu there as he learns humility and remorse over his past cruelty; or maybe he will follow Mizu to London, and the two of them will continue to butt heads until he finally admits to himself that he cares for Mizu more than he would like to admit. There is no room for doubt that his growing feelings for Mizu are more-than-platonic, because we all saw him get turned on by sparring with her in Ep7 lol. Thus, regardless of the exact choice he makes, I am sure that his overall arc will be focused on redeeming his character.
Now, when it comes go redeeming him, I know there are many who simply don't want him redeemed because he was such a jerk to Mizu, and while yes I agree he was awful, I do believe there is also nuance to his character.
Previously I've discussed in great detail the colour and elemental symbolism with Mizu and Akemi, but have yet to touch on how they relate to Taigen. So, let's talk about that for a second.
While Akemi is red and Mizu is blue, Taigen is green.
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Green is a complementary colour to Akemi's red. Complementary colours are directly opposite each other in the colour wheel; when mixed, they neutralise each other, but when put side-by-side, they form a pleasing and impactful contrast that boosts the brightness and prominence of both colours. This mirrors Taigen and Akemi's relationship. They are an "ideal" pair because they complement each other very well, and bring out each other's most prominent traits. Mizu's comment about their similar "brattiness" comes to mind here.
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Green is also an analogous colour with Mizu's blue. These colours are sitting right next to each other on the colour wheel; their natural similarity makes it easy for them to form a cohesive overall appearance, but using both in equal amounts will make a design overwhelming and too busy. Thus, the best way to use analogous colours is to make one the dominant colour, while the other will serve as an accent. I feel this also speaks to the dynamic in Taigen and Mizu's relationship. They came from the space place, both from nothing; they're both strong fighters who love the sport, and work well together when fighting side-by-side; however, they butt heads too easily, mirroring how analogous colours can be too overwhelming when used in equal amounts. Thus, to work together in harmony, one has to be the dominant colour, while the other serves as the accent. In this case, the dominant force would be Mizu, as she is the protagonist of the story, while the accent would be Taigen.
By fulfilling this role as an "accent" to Mizu, Taigen's character would easily be slotted in as a the love interest. This is in contrast with a Mizu/Akemi relationship, whereby Akemi is Mizu's foil before she is Mizu's love interest. This is because, by being a love interest, a character usually takes a backseat in the story, serving the plot and the themes by playing a purely supportive role, and this is not possible in Akemi's case because her character exists to parallel and contrast Mizu (red and blue), and not to support her.
It is possible to serve as a supporting love interest in Taigen's case however. And this is because he, unlike the other characters, does not currently have a definitive place within the story. He initially served the plot as an antagonistic force, but now as he is slowly unlearning his prejudices and becoming a better person, he can no longer serve the story by acting purely as a rival.
Instead, he will serve the story by literally supporting Mizu. And this relates to Taigen being earth, which is steady, firm and reliable, unwavering in loyalty and principles, hardworking and rooted in stability, which is seen in Taigen's staunch and inflexible obedience to the traditions and rules of society. These traits are what make him a perfect samurai, but not a good man. However, unlike most people in their world, Taigen is still capable of change and redemption, which is why Mizu says that he has the potential to be great. Not great by way of power or glory, but great in character. Already, he is honourable to a fault, and does not betray Mizu even after she technically robbed him of everything he was striving towards. And when he was shot by an arrow in the chasm, he did not hesitate a second to tell Mizu to use him as a human shield and save herself.
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The trigger for his redemption is Mizu. If she had never beat him in that duel, Taigen would live on to become a man like Akemi's father. Cruel, power-hungry, controlling, conservative. But through Mizu, Taigen's sharp edges are ground down, much like water that wears down the stones in a river.
Where Mizu and Akemi's possible love story would be a clash of wills, full of passion and even heartbreak, a possible love story between Mizu and Taigen would be the wearing down of souls. Mizu would make Taigen a better person, and in turn Taigen would dedicate his full respect and support to Mizu as his equal, thus getting her to slowly open up and love herself. Already, Taigen has grown enough to admit (begrudgingly, and in his own Taigen way) that Mizu is better than him; though, clearly, he still has a long way to go, as he still calls Mizu a demon shortly after that.
But basically, Taigen is a very simple man (his main goal now is "to be happy"), and Mizu has great depths that he cannot yet fathom. For this love story to work, it has to begin with Taigen changing for the better. If he succeeds in that, and is able to accept Mizu for all her complexities, I believe that they will make a formidable pair. And though he'd likely still throw a jab or snarky remark at Mizu every now and then, I think he'd come tl wholeheartedly admire Mizu as a brilliant swordsman and a kind soul. Thus, should things work out and this be endgame, Taigen would be able to provide Mizu with what Mikio could not: an idyllic life that is not built on a lie, but mutual trust, respect, admiration, and equality.
Or hey, maybe they could both make their own dojo together! I don't know.
(Edit: This post by @rinandsketches does a great job at delving into Taigen's character and a potential Mizu/Taigen relationship if you'd like to read more about this angle!)
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Now, as I move on from Taigen, there are a couple more options on how to resolve this love triangle and that includes Option C: Ringo.
In this option, Mizu does not have an endgame romance with either Akemi or Taigen. In this route, she finds peace and love through friendship, solidarity, and a found family between herself, Ringo and Master Eiji—a bunch of outcasts in society who make a strong trifecta of sword-makers.
Also, as an aside while I'm talking about Ringo, I'd like to point out that I believe his element is air and his colour is a neutral grey; he is talkative, easy-going, wise, curious, light on his feet (stealthy) and free-spirited, which are all traits linked to air, and traits that complement Mizu nicely, as he is capable of getting Mizu to open up and trust others again, while Mizu helps him reach his true potential for greatness.
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And finally, there's Option D: Polyamory.
This is basically an "all of the above" option, in which everyone wins and it's a super duper happy ending. It would also be awesome to get some polyamorous representation, and seeing the dynamic between Akemi/Mizu/Taigen play out would be very entertaining and refreshing. So, you never know, this just might be the true endgame!
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AAAAND with that, I close my extremely long analysis of what is essentially Mizu's love life. Whatever the final outcome of this love triangle though, I just hope it will be well-written and satisfying to all the characters' respective arcs. (Also I just want Mizu to be HAPPY goddamn it because she deserves the world and her coochie eaten out)
Now, I highly doubt anyone will read any of this (especially not until the end!) but that's fine. I just have so many thoughts and feelings about this show and I just needed to get this out of my system lol! But if by some miracle you did read this far, I wholeheartedly welcome any sharing of thoughts and ideas because man am I obsessed with this show! But of course, if we have an opposing opinions, please be respectful when letting me know; I am very open to friendly discussions.
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lemongogo · 9 months ago
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why do i love the conflict more than anything else . the misery . the incompatibility that spreads like oil slick . wanting so desperately for resolution that never comes . hmmm
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#its the allure of like . mismatch btwn right person / wrong time . maybe in personal development and such#or wrong person / right time and trying 2 make it work but the circumstances are set 2 separate you#i think the guilt ford harbors over his relationship w fidds is good and i think hes had a lot of reflection . 30 yrs at least#but i dont rly care for like a . HELPP SRY IM LIKE talking to myself#i dont rly care ‘if’ they got back tgether in the end#fanon wise or whagever obviouslyy . no avrually emma-may kicking fidds out over the xmas thing its over HELPPPP#i feel like i always hve to clarify bc then theres that one guy whos like ‘smth smth you cant read . ooc loser .’idgaf . not gaffing today#i think mcguckets decision to forgive him is rly sweet And i do like the recognition of .. the whole incident being a misstep on both their#parts ykwim ? like ford was an ass for sureee but also mcgucket + memory gun was his own autonomous detriment#but#no i cant read the other tags i was writing i forgot where i was at#anyways im so obsessed w like . this being such an imperfect event with imperfect equals#ford theory and fidds the mechanics . which brw im also obsessed w how That is revered in canon .#but yeah like imperfect event imperfect people who shared an incredible connecfion in my freaking mind#that was ultimately squandered to fords pride and fidds reticence#ugh like i love the rise and fall i love the strenght of their connection generally corroding over time#its just such a cool motivator for both themselves and like its a history they share together and post weirdmageddon get to finally think a#knowing now what they didnt have the tools to recognize then#idk.^__^ they r so crazy to me . playing w them like dolls in my head#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#gravity falls#every time i think ab this wrt every challeneged dynamic i think ab mars in the discord#talking ab x and y charas epic divorce arc#and im not even saying this to discredit Good relationships in media#bc those have a wealth of fun and interesting concepts or dynamics to dive into#its just something ab like . poetry of anger bro . and how love and hate can feel so similar and be borne from the same place#how one can transform into the other and back again due to . idk whatevee the hell theyve got going on^#prev post got me wishing we had more meat to the fallout#or that it was extended in content or scope . i want 2 see how they dealt with losing the other and then
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coern · 1 month ago
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gamer tier list. no extra comment
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zymstarz · 1 year ago
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
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#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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nomaishuttle · 2 years ago
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ALSO sry im so talkative today idk whats gotten IN to me but anyways. its sooo crazy 2 me that ppl have other birthdays that arent the sake day as my birthday like obviously i know ppl do but its crazy to me. bc january 13th is like My birthday ykwim. like its such a good day to have a birthday on so beautiful 1/13/2005 gods specialest girl was born ykwim.
#also the cafe is plsying so much lana del rey im rly scared guys. ive never listened to ldr outside of nightcore when i was 11#but ya i loooove having a january birthday bc it makes it so easy to figure out how old i was during an event. bc its like. ok unless the#event happened in the first 12 days of the year i can just subtract 5 from the year it happened and thats how old i was. ykwim. like 2007 i#was 2 rhe entire year basicslly 2012 i was 7 the entire year its awesome#whereas if i had a september birthday. Like some people (my sibling). itd be a wholee production like ok was it before or after the end of#september. which is isnt rly that difficult but i have trouble remembering what specific month a thing happened in#but i can remember seasons. which again like ig isnt the difficult bc if it happened in wjnter etc. spring etc. summer etc. but if it#happened in fall id probably be confused..#basically january is the best month of the year and the most beautiful girls are born then#a fun fact is i wasnt born on friday the 13th. i was born on a thursday#BUT my 1st birthday was friday and so was myyy 16th i think. idr. but yeah sometimes its on a friday which is cool :]#and another fun fact is it was a sunny day but (according to my dad) there was a random lightning strike like. right when i was born. so#basically i think im rly rly quite special. joke. i think that lightning strike was god saying Lord well hold on. why would god he saying#lord. thats kinda funny. thats like if i went Connor i am going to put this guy in situations. which tbf i do refer to myself in 3rd person#mentally On occasion. but anyways. sry i distracted mysekf and forgot what i was gonna say. its tly funny to imagine god just being like#Lord almighty.#speaking of idk if you guys know this abt me but i say lord almighty and jesus christ and good lord etc so much. and i didnt always i like#started saying them a year or so ago and now i cant stop. i wasnt even raised religious im not religious in the slightest . but my first#reaction to things now is Lord almighty... like girl you do not even know him.#anyways thats all. sry
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goinggoingghone · 4 months ago
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hreh. pushes up my glasses and cracks my knuckles, dusting off the cobwebs of this blog.
~~~
There's a boy in the alleyway.
Well, that's already been established. There's a boy producing inhuman sounds that crack through his skull like a baseball bat, and he's in an alley by himself. Statistically speaking, in Gotham, this is a normal night. Children wander, especially in a city as violent as Gotham. He might not have parents.
The screeching and trilling and crying is a new one, so Tim checks it out.
He's not Robin tonight, having gotten out of a meeting particularly late (he hated going to investment meetings, he always had to convince the shareholders that sometimes being helpful was more important than profit), but the drive to protect a kid by himself is too strong to ignore. He comes closer, but doesn't get far in at all before the boy's head snaps up and wild red eyes bore a hole through him.
Immediately the boy pushes off the ground, his legs fusing into a long, winding black tail. He hisses, his white hair crackling like a flame and his teeth bared with impressive looking flames. He's in Tim's face in a flash, a growl reverberating through the alley.
What the hell.
A little thrown off, Tim and the boy (who, now that he's got a better look at him, looks around sixteen or seventeen) stare at each other for a few seconds. The boy---meta(?)---unsure why Tim hadn't fled, and Tim stunlocked by the sudden shift in behavior.
"Haven't you got the memo, runt?" His voice is low and crackly, thick with rage and choked with tears. "Scram."
"Uhhh," Tim starts, nose to nose with a snarling blue creature that probably shouldn't be this close to him, "Dude. No offense but if you didn't want anyone to come find you why were you screeching like that."
The boy blinks, his face still keeping its sneer, and then he huffs, the sound echoing. "Who's asking?"
"Me? I'm right in front of you. Look, I've had a long night, man, so like... I don't know. You seem like you're having a worse night than I am. Feels bad to just leave you when you're, uh, doing whatever you were doing." He can feel a headache building behind his eyes. He's unsure of why he's still talking to this thing, but he's admittedly kind of curious what's going on.
The creature-boy-meta-thing narrows its-his eyes, the flames of its hair calming. "And who are you?"
"...Tim." He doesn't think it's particularly important to give his full name here, and might even be counterproductive. In his experience, scared kids usually don't react very well to the presence of a billionaire.
"Tim. That's a stupid name. Tim. No. I'm gonna call you Scalpel. Way cooler name. You're welcome." The boy's sneer morphs into a wide, sharp, frankly terrifying grin full of dagger-like teeth.
"Scalpel. Okay. I can work with that. Sure." He feels like he's getting somewhere with this. He just has to play his cards right. "Do you got a cool name I can call you?"
The creature turns over to float on his back, brandishing claws covered by thick, white hazmat gloves.
"Phantom. Dan Phantom."
Short DPXDC Prompts #654
The eerie cries and screeches fill the air. Grating trills and chuffs that make the ears ring and ache. Tim expects a fight when he approaches the source of the sound but to his shock and horror, he finds a boy roughly his age curled into a ball sobbing into his knees.
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connormoving · 4 months ago
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it is quite interesting to me how the feeling of the sounds of a word can change how the word feels imthats such a nothing sentence i mean like oo sounds bigger than like ee sounds to me you know. and of course theres kiki and bouba snd all of this.
#this is prettyyyy much not related but i rly like seeing the like. things that a ton of languages have in common like the word for mom#ending to have m sounds bc thats one of the first sounds babies are able to make its very very cute to me yk.#i just think language is sooo interesting and like. theres just so much cool shit with languages you know . and every language is so so so#unique and it makes me kind of sad that i cant understand every language fluently bc i think likee. IDK i think its easy to think that the#only different thing abt languages is like the words yk when i was a kid the only way i thought if languages was like Oh instead of sayin#apple they say pomme which was stupid LOL but ykwim its like. everything about languages is so like. its all manmade its all made by the#people who speak that language words rise up in languages out of necessity and its constantly shifting and changing like. its so beautiful#and thats why i think its silly when ppl think of languages as this like Still thing that like. yk. i think its good when languagss change#and mix together and drift apart and fracture into totally different languages its just so beautiful to me . I LOVE LANGUAGES 💚 i love#accents and dialects and everything all of its just so amazing i wish i could learn about all of it. and i lovee like. videos reconstructing#how languages sounded even like 50 years ago bc they sound different ppl talked different like. its incredible I LOVE LANGUAGE GUYS#i knowww i knowww that most ppl dont rly care abt it and its whatever but i rly rly rly wish more historical movies and whatever had like.#i wish they showed more of what the language actually sounded like at the time I get why they dont i get why like i get it. itd make movies#kind of inaccessible youd have to 1. have an expert to figure out what the language wouldve sounded like 2. probably change the script a bit#3. Train all the actors to speak in that way. etc. but it justtt. idk. i know accuracy is Not the end all be all of good filmmaking i like#plenty of historical movies that arent accurate what matters is telling a good story at the end of the day and sometimes stuff like this#bogs it down and keeps you from relling rhe story tmyou want to tell yk. itd just be rly interesting to me its sort of the same way with#like um. historical clothing you know. i understand why in a lot period pieces the clothing isn't rly accurate and ks more just The vibe of#something from that time to a layperson it gets the job done and esp if the story isnt like. About clothing i get why you wiuldnt want to#put so much time and resources on that kind of thing. but it rly does add something yk#i think stuff like clothing food language etc r all like some of rhe fundamentals of culture so i think if you can get those down it rly#rly fleshes it all out and just makes it feel so much more real yk like. it makes you feel like youre actually in that time or place or#whatever... bc all 3 of those things tell you so much like it tells you about the climate it tells you about traditions and beliefs it tells#you whats important to them it tells you abt like. the lifestyle (like are their clothes very practical or are they more show offish do they#modtly grow their food or is it more hunting or foraging or importing likeee. Even the fabric of the garments tells you so much its rly just#incredible to me I LOVE HUMANITY
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1031am · 10 months ago
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chat is it gay af for me to change my first name to spencer bc i imprinted on spencer reid at a young age like a baby duck? lmfao
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skunkes · 1 year ago
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Experiencing the opposite of the Enjoying Torturing Oc phenomenon where I dont want to send talon back to his canon anymore like nooo stay here u have a home and food sources and clean water and a happy life and various places to lounge and loaf. My adopted feral cat....
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helloimapinkfrog · 2 years ago
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HEY DOES SOMEONE WANNA RAMBLE AB LEONEED TO ME A COMPLETE NOOB (specially ab the members) so I can decide who is my l/n blorbo?????? (I have a unit blorbo for every unit except l/n plz help me)
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angelyuji · 10 months ago
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ford pines dating headcanons
18+!!! minors dni!!
cw // sexual content under the cut
cutie patootie
FIT AS FUCKKKKK
writes about you in his journal like first time he sees you, first date, every single thought about you? journaled!!
he wanted to ask you out but he was sooo nervous you would reject him, especially considering how young and pretty you are
he was scared you would laugh at him for trying
so he didn’t try :(
so when you showed up at the mystery shack and asked him out to dinner, he would’ve jumped for joy
“you-you’re asking me? on a date?” ford stares at you, mouth open. you tilt your head in confusion and ford almost melts. he clears his throat, “i-i would love to, (y/n). thank you.” ford blushes.
your first date was cute, he was so flustered and so nervous
i feel like he calls you by your name, sometimes by your last name, sometimes like ms/mr. last name. idk he’s silly like that
HE loves pet names tho, he lovessss pet names
when you call him love, baby, sweetheart, anythingggg he loves it
he especially loves when you call him sir like in any context
idk he’s silly like that :)
literally the sweetest man in the world
constantly thinking about you and talking about you
constantly creating new things/inventions for you
he would start writing up the mock-up of a project or an experiment and start thinking about you and then end up making something he thinks you’d like
sooo down bad for u dude, would give you the world if you asked
i feel like bill would find his love for you either fascinating or be so insanely jealous that you’ve got ford wrapped around your finger like that’s his man
imo the only solution is a threesome
WHAATTT WHO SAID THAT…. some of these artists draw bill so fine that i cant help it
he loves when you’re passionate about something! it doesn’t have to be mysteries and monsters, but just something that makes you yap (but he also loves when you listen to him talk, he’s more of a talker than a listener but he will listen to you)
yk that scene in those cliché romcoms… idk how to describe it so ill just put it into dialogue
‘gorgeous’ ford hums as you talk, the way your lips move, your expressions, everything hypnotizes him. ‘gorgeous’ he can’t help, but be enamored with you. you’re smart, kind, and passionate. “gorgeous” you stop and look at him.
“thank you?” you tilt your head at his words and his eyes went wide. he sputters as you laugh.
can have moments of smooth talk and flirting but the moment you reciprocate, he’s red in the face and stuttering
need him carnally, need him ways that even god will not allow me into heaven
switch!!!
he can do both i fear
he’s okay with you on top or him, definitely depends on his mood
like i said, FIT AS FUCK, whatever he’s been doing in that portal has treated him well
not insecure about his body more insecure about his lack of experience
he never talks about it about the stuff from before
he did a lot of research in positions, toys, and stuff like that
you had to tell him to calm down and take it slow
he’s more into giving pleasure than receiving
he wants you to feel good more than he wants to feel good
if you feel good, he feels good ykwim?
hes sooo pathetic tbh like begging, pleading, to eat you out like he wants it so bad
his glasses would fog up as you guys make out and he whips them off like sung-hoon does in business proposal
honestly that entire scene in business proposal?? ford.
hgnhhghghgngngnhgn i need him i feel ill
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revelboo · 6 months ago
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laying my coveted collection of three (3) muppet dvds down at your feet/general offering table. my soul for some bluestreak, if you wanna. if not then enjoy the muppets- but! i never knew they did cover songs for stuff like "got my mind set on you" by george harrison and kokomo until recently!! or that bluestreak brought "the muppets take manhattan" with him onto the lost light!! idk i really like the mental image of this giant sci-fi robot next to kermit the frog, not doing anything in specific or whatever, just... vibing. if some cybertronians think humans are like weird protoforms, i cant help but wonder what they think of muppets, ykwim??? either way, have a happy new year!!
Blue needs some love and he’s such a goober sometimes. I can see him absently humming Rainbow Connection
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Where I Belong Pt 10
Bluestreak x Reader
• Carrying you back to his quarters, he absently rubs a servo against you and warms when you hook an arm around it to hug him. “Sorry about worrying you. I didn’t want to bother Ratchet and it wasn’t really that bad. I’ve seen worse and-” Trailing off when you look up at him. Because he knows he’s rambling, but you don’t huff at him. Don’t tell him to shut up. You never do and every time you don’t his spark aches with it. With all the things he wants to say, but doesn’t dare. “Sorry.”
• When he smiles that self-depreciating smile, that sense of a lost boy lifts through you again. He’s older than you, much older, but still it’s there in the fear you see in his optics sometimes. An unsettled feeling you don’t know how to deal with, but that makes you think the smiles and chatter on the surface are all for show. That he’s still reaching for you like he had that first time, desperate and afraid. “Don’t apologize. Just take care of yourself. I like having you around.”
• Do you? No one else does and his servos flex around you as he lets himself into his quarters and sits on the side of his berth with you. Reluctant to give up your warmth. Feels bad about clinging to you like he does, but can’t make himself stop. Optics shuttering as he braces for the rejection, he mass shifts. Hears you yelp as you end up in his lap and he wraps his arms around you, chin on top of your head. “I like having you around, too.”
• Heart racing, you shudder and try to shake off that awful feeling of falling. Not even sure why you’re surprised by anything at this point when you live with a giant alien robot. Shrinking? Sure. Why not? “Warn me before you do that next time.” Or you might get sick on him. Distracted when he so gently curls his fingers around your wrist and pulls it to him. Watching him line up his palm with yours and even smaller, his hand dwarfs yours.
• “Sorry.” You’ve always been so small and fragile to him, but putting himself closer to your size really drives it home. Your hand so tiny in his. “I just wanted to hold you. And I can’t normally because you’re so small and you’re still small. I feel like you’re going to break,” he murmurs, embarrassed. You’re always touching his servos, hugging them, trying to comfort him. He wanted to return it, but still can’t. Like he can’t begin to explain how much he loves you for being with him. For not abandoning him when he’d needed you. For keeping him from being so alone.
• “I’m not made of glass.” Shifting more to sit across his lap, you reach back and find his other arm and pull it around you. Encouraging him to hold you like he’d wanted and you lay your head against him, seeing his door wings lift from the corner of your eye. “See?” You can hear his internal systems and the thrum of his spark as he cautiously rests his hand on your hip. “This is okay.” Breath catching as his head dips and his cheek brushes yours. That hand still curled around yours tugging so he can brush his mouth against the inside of your wrist, his optics still shuttered. That gentle touch spreading warm through you.
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ducktoo · 6 months ago
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End of Year stuff + Personal Fav
So....we're like a bit more than a day before the end of 2024. I think I have parroting myself a lot throughout my posts, but I am genuinely appreciating the warm support and enjoyment from you guys.
I'm happy that you guys have a lot of fun reading my fics and involved in the request and storyline as well.
Alongside all of you who followed me, I was genuinely surprised by fanfic writers who followed me (still really surprised to this day lol). These are the lovely people and my fav work of theirs. Please check them out cuz they are wayy better lol:
@defmaybe (dude has good smut fr very not my image but shush) Karina - Not Shy
@jupiterpilgrim (the damn angst man) Chaeyoung (fromis_9) - Beneath the Quirky Petals Ningning - Drown with me
@wonyowonyo (the goat has a really nice website on pc btw. The personal banners on each post is *chef kiss*) Yunjin - Sanctuary
@dreamcatchers-husband (when the actual plot is as good as the plot) Seulgi - Strange Situation Yujin - Make it work
@prael (extremely spicy but cant look away) Winter - Electrophilia
@kooyabooya (really detailed writing and really absorbed when reading ykwim?) Rose - Freudian Giselle - Spectre
@octoberautumnbox (the biggest Joyul fan) Chaewon & Yuri - I got all I need
@octa9on (also like wonyo, very detailed and make u absorbed into the work) Gaeul - Lesson Chaewon - Unnamed fluff
Quite a long list, but just cus it's too good.
But yeah, umm thank you all for liking not only Syncing Dream but also the subsequent oneshots.
Feel free to AMA. It's fun answering people's stuff. See yall in mid January!
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nomaishuttle · 2 years ago
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tbh probably a good thing tumblr freaked iut when i tried to post the post i just wrote bc i think i spiralled a lot in the tags
#the gist of it is im oretty sure i have bod ik everybidy is unstable after a bad breakup but. the way im reacting and rhe way in thinking#abt mysekf and the way i avted and thiught abt myself while in the relationship#and in the relationships (nonromantic) b4 that . matches up a lot with the stuff ive read abt in my bod research#and id rly like to discuss this with a therapist bc i clearly. cant work this out on my own. bc ive been trying to do thta for 3 months and#im more disconnected from like. my sense of personhood now than i was then#my identity disconnect has never been like. Stronger. than it is now..to the loint saying my and i feels like a lie because indont feel#like im an i i feel like im. idt. i fele like a concept i feel like everything is fiction and unreal. and its like. it doesnt make me upset#ig it just kakes me. so disconnected . and i dont want to be disconnected idt . idk#so i wann talk abt it with a therapist but i rly rly rly need a therapisr who can work with bpd patientseven if i dont end up having it i l#think the like. experience overlaps so much so im like. i think even if i dont itd be Incredibly helpful to borrow some of the strategies#yk. but im like. during my Research ive learned that a lot of therapists literally refuse to work with bpd patients . and mock their#colleagues who do . which 1. Thats disgusting 2. thats dunb as shit 3. thats terrifying so i hesitate to work with any therapist who says#anything kess than I have experience working with bpd patients i am well trained wirking with bpd patients. ykwim. but i can legit only#find fucking. 1. and shes out of network so its 150 per visit#abd ideally id do weekly visits but thats 300 per check 💀 and i am not making that much and once i get the apt itll be like. Bad bad.#finances wise. i could do biweekly but its still like aughghhh.
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kuumara · 5 days ago
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(this post is abt byler! EVERYTHING IS INTENTIONAL EVEN THE SMALLEST STUFF)
This year ive been directing a school movie and let me tell u, we spent 6 or 7 months just figuring out EVERY detail, in script and camera work and then composition so EVERYTHING IN A SHOW/MOVIE IS INTENTIONAL!!!
Like there cant be ANY unnecesaary lines or shots or scenes that dont end up being useful to the story and our mentor (a producer) was very insistent on that
Then when we started filming the shots had to be perfect, like we spent at least 30mins to set up the lightz
And then more time constantly redoing shots making sure the actors do the EXPRESSIONS right and the tone of the lines and allat SO..
No, finn wolfhard doesnt just have some crazy crush on noah and he didnt speak in that tone just cause
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No, their nice romantic lights didnt just die here and they had to use the ugliest ones imaginable (also noah couldve simply WENT ON BREAK while they were filming this if they didnt want him in THE love confession of THE couple)
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No, they didnt make finn CRUMPLE UP BOTH OF EL'S LETTER TO MIKE because they wanted to go on lunch break already and didnt care (+ literally showing a shot of mike throwing the second letter in the TRASH. Like, a shot only for that. Even such a simple shot would require multiple takes.)
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No, they didnt unknowingly do an interruption trope MANY TIMES with mike and will... And yes, they do know that trope is used for romance scenes if they dont live under a rock... (Cant put more examples because image limit but ykwim)
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Oh my god this scene... Why would they let finn to do all these flirty faces if it wasnt something deeper (they made noah do all that for a reason as is confirmed - but FINN WAS DOING BASICALLY THE SAME THING). He NEVER does this even with el, let alone check her out. Also why would there be such an emphasis on "friends... best friends🥹🥹🥹" if they were actually friends - we KNOW they're friends - unless theyre not just friends 😮😮 thats not something you do if you've done 3 seasons of such a popular well-regarded show with good writing
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And then this - if you go outside regularly you know natural light dont look like that, esp not for the whole time of filming a long scene like this. So, why would they put so much effort into another heart to heart with mike and will, but completely give up on THE LITERAL LOVE CONFESSION OF THE LITERAL MAIN COUPLE. Just looking at this scene you can see it's warm, inviting, even if what they're talking about here isnt that at all. So what do u feel when u look at the mileven love confession? Exactly bruh it's the complete opposite
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And last but not least, the final scene - what we are MEANT TO BE LEFT WITH and probably the most important, in the school movie we were discussing and directing the end scene with most care
So, obviously mike and will's breath is synced which CANT BE A COINCIDENCE only because if you want breathing to be seen on camera u have to breathe pretty deeply but the characters are supposed to be scared so thats obvious, but they also chose to make them breathe in sync... If they didnt want people to read into it they WOULD RE SHOOT IT bc personally it was very visible when i first saw the scene and i was like hmm🤔
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So just this 3second clip was very planned out and if that dont convince you everything is planned idk what will. Oh also the very obvious blocking of all the couples at the very end AND MIKE AND WILL IN THE MIDDLE - MEANT to draw your attention to them, along with el standing alone, again in the middle
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