#but i'll just share the truth
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wanderingmind867 · 3 months ago
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A new and probably controversial opinion on television, as delivered by me: I hate when hour length tv dramas run for 20 episodes and run from September all the way to fucking May. Nearly 9 months! 9 months of formulaic episode of the week style crap! That's too much! This isn't a half hour show (for which I could forgive really long seasons). No, this is an hour length detective show. And I'm sick of it. We're only on episode 16 or 17 or something, and I just... I barely care anymore. Why should I? There's been too many episodes, and they all blur together.
So my opinion is thus: If a show is an hour long (I don't care if it's animated or live action) it should get shorter seasons. If a show is only 30 minutes long, it deserves longer seasons. That sounds reasonable to me. Because some cartoons or old 50s sitcoms got 30-40 episode seasons. I don't mind that, because they're half hours. They're manageable. But hour length shows (especially the dramatic ones)? No. No, no, no! You think my attention span is good enough to watch something that long when it's a drama? It barely is. And I slowly grow to resent the show the longer it runs. So no more 20 episode dramas, please.
PS: I know that shows in the UK and here in Canada tend to get less episodes than shows in the United States. Is that true for Australia and the other commonwealth countries too? I've only seen a handful of shows from Australia (basically, i've seen probably one or two comedies that canadian netflix picked up), and they seem to follow the shorter seasons rule.
But if all the commonwealth countries are getting shorter seasons for shows, why does american tv have 20 episode seasons still!? This is most egregious for the hour length shows. Half hour shows should run longer. That applies to all the UK, Canadian, American and Australian shows i've liked. Longer seasons for half hour shows, shorter seasons for hour length shows.
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celebrimborium · 11 months ago
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Stop fighting me and together, let us fight them.
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echodoctor · 2 months ago
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I am rotating some Thoughts about Loop and Siffrin seeing each other as two halves of the same person- specifically, Siffrin as the body (kept the actual physical form of Siffrin that everyone recognizes, can go out and interact with things directly) and Loop as the soul (was the original person and still has older memories of things that no other person can know, has knowledge and spiritual? connection to the greater mysteries of the universe but has to work through Siffrin instead of acting themself).
Mostly because I got reminded that this poem exists and the idea of it as Siffrin and Loop arguing is delicious to me.
They both badly need something that the only the other one can truly give them, and they seem to be at their best when working together in harmony to achieve a greater goal.
...Also from a Sifloop perspective, the idea of having a body be in love with the soul its supposed to hold and shelter and act on behalf of/a soul in love with the body that its supposed to guide and awaken and lead on to better things? Mmmmm, tasty tasty symbolism, yes please.
Or, you know. Very literal, if you want them to get freaky with some body-sharing scenarios. I'm just saying, the idea of Siffrin being self-sacrificing and lonely enough to go "wait, you were supposed to be in this body and you're clearly unhappy out there, come back in so we can be together and you can be who you want to be again!" has some interesting potential.
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bukashki · 15 days ago
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having multiple separate ideas and inspirations for a thing and suddenly figuring out how to connect all of them 🤼‍♂️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👭🫂🫶 <- ideas connecting 🤸‍♂️ <- me
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suddencolds · 5 days ago
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~
// personal; delete later
#i am going to talk about this now and delete it in a couple days bc i don't think i'll be able to talk about it right after it happens#anyways this might be obvious if you read btwn the lines of my prev personal posts :') but to spell things out explicitly#i'm currently in the process of going through a breakup#i'm taking a goodbye trip with this person very soon (the plane tickets have already been booked for half a year 🫡)#i have kept this news from almost everyone i know irl; i don't really want to#invite that kind of scrutiny over our relationship before it's over. but i have been with this person for over 3 years now#which is a long time for me (>1/8th of my life!). and now that the date we set is approaching at times i feel like i am walling myself off#from properly feeling or anticipating the grief that will come with it :') how do you deal with a loss which hasn't happened yet?#at times i find myself wondering if i need to establish a better support system / if i should let myself rely more on people who i have#kept at a careful distance 😭 in truth before i started dating this person i was extremely lonely. things have gotten better since#but a part of me is worried that i no longer know how to exist on my own :') or that after this breakup things might revert to being#as lonely as they were before#i am a little afraid i don't even know how to depend on people.#i think a lot of the time i am focused on not sharing about myself unless interest is explicitly expressed#and sometimes that leads to me sharing very little of what i would like to share (even in friendships i would consider fairly close)#i think maybe one of my greatest fears is boring people and going on and on and not reading the room 😭 but perhaps i have overcorrected#to the extent that i barely feel known at all 🥲 often i retreat until i feel like i am centering the other person entirely because i feel#like it is the best way to be an upstanding conversation partner. (one of the only reasons why i can sit here and type this post is#i feel like people have a free pass to ignore it entirely)#but i think this person who i am in a relationship with is one of the few people who i felt totally free to share my thoughts with without#worrying they would feel my thoughts were not worth sharing. that was a really nice thing to have :') it made me very happy#if i'm honest i don't know if i will ever find that again. (sometimes i think it is just a fluke that i was loved in that way at all)#regarding the breakup: in the end we both have our reasoning and i think#few people end things off on good enough terms to take a goodbye trip together. i do feel lucky in the end :')#it was so nice to love and be loved (and to continue loving); it was nice to be understood fully#i rewrote this post 3 times trying to find the words... writing this i think i have been sad for a long time#i only know that things will be very different
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studio-enoptik · 1 month ago
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Heresy of Truth (Coming Soon)
watch this space
Synopsis:
Four years ago, the nation of Holzhyt lost two of its top scientists, Axye of None and Ihczya of Overlook, to a horrific accident. In the present day, scientist Ysa Yddgru and detective Erras of Sea-Garden—both once closely associated with Axye—receive an assignment directly from one of Holzhyt's five high provosts: investigate the eerie letter Axye sent that predicted her own death. The two must work together to exhume the secrets—whatever still remain—of the machine that killed both scientists and keep their increasingly vulnerable secrets from each other. All the while, they must contend with Ruby Caine (your friend and mine) forcibly making them guests of her talk show, Eye of the Storm.
Thousands of miles away, across an ocean's worth of ideological turbulence and seawater, a senator of Adila commits suicide in the middle of a public square, leaving behind, on his desk, dozens of photos of him. Bitter, the sex worker featured in them, is rescued from a cleanup operation by a small outfit of Alpiyet nationalists. The man who commissioned the rescue, convinced the nationalists are more than they seem, forces Bitter to spy on them. Meanwhile, Eviruda De'Sanya, the private investigator who took the pictures, searches for whoever commissioned them to find out why they they blackmailed the senator. Out of their depths, surrounded by danger, and unaware of the others' investigations, both must race forward and create the leverage they need to escape before they are swallowed by perpetually-growing conspiracy. All the while, they must contend with Ruby Caine (your friend and mine) forcibly making them guests of her talk show, Eye of the Storm.
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seaofreverie · 9 months ago
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I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all
#guys i love they might be giants. did you know about this#me days before the show: crying because i will see they might be giants#me days after the show: crying because i saw they might be giants#truth is that i didn't actually full on cry until yesterday evening though so once i was back home so it was all officially over#and it was time to just slow down and realize that oh well wow. so all that just happened. like for realsies#i also finally looked through my videos and my recording of the whole show (yes as an archivist freak who records audio from most concerts#i obviously had to record this one also. now i can listen to it again and again and be remided that i didn't dream it all up after all)#but yeah all this and now i'm supposed to move on and go back to my stupid daily life#like i didn't just have one of those real actual life experiences and moments of pure fun that other people generally get from time to time#and that i haven't had since idk even when a year and a half ago#thats the last time i consider truly amazing on a level somewhat comparable to this. but back to the show and the whole thing.#like this wouldn't have been quite as perfect if i didn't share that time with fellow fans / friends that i ended up attending the show wit#you don't realize how badly you've been wanting to be included in things and for people to be genuinely fond of you and like your company#until you get included and shown that fondness. like wow i'm allowed to have fun too after all. can it happen again someday please. anyway#i'm just glad that in midst of my big bad awful times i could have this truly amazing 10/10 time#and i guess it doesn't have to be the last such time right. even if it's easy to give into the feeling that it is#but ok anyway i'll get to that proper show recap later when i can think clearly again#and maybe more on that more personal side of it all too because well i have many more thoughts obviously#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again#and my stupid baka life continues on also whether i like it or not so that has to be taken into consideration as well#time to think again about school that i'm so totally fully failing now with my two weeks long absence yayyy. its fine i'll figure it all out#goosepost
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bleaksqueak · 2 years ago
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lmao Couldn't help but cap this because I was literally just drawing one of his dogs.
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aromanticasterisms · 1 month ago
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starting the waifei peninsula plot and sighing sadly thinking abt how much i miss hugo + the sons of calydon the whole time
#personal stuff#delete later#bury your tears w the past + tour de inferno you will always be famous to me.#man. mannn. i am literally. not enjoying s2 as much as i did s1 </3#s1 was like ooh genius hacker / hollow investigators working from behind the scenes!! because you physically can't go on the front lines!#and you have to be careful to keep your identity secret and only share it with the people you trust! because what you're doing is illegal!#but as of the epilogue / into s2 it's like yeah you're literally working for The Mayor of the only city left on earth.#it's such a sudden shift from phaethon being a well-kept secret to being like. in the pocket of one of the most influential guys around#and not having to worry about electricity bills. fairy come back.... fairy..... bring your plot relevance back fairy.............#also. the really fun physical limitations and drawbacks are just. erased. via wifi update. with the shakiest reasoning known to man#s2g please let the mayor be a twist villain or something jesus christ.#him saying ohh yeah i knew your teacher i'm helping you out of respect for her....#in the SAME arc where he lied through his teeth about spreading the truth abt hugo's death because he respected him.#and i'm NOT supposed to be suspicious of the wifi update that has seemingly no drawbacks? that lets us do more [for him]?#and like. goddamn. maybe the story is just starting slow but the whole time i'm okay any minute now it's going to start to get interesting.#any minute now. surely.#oooh wow the suspicious doctor was working with the one actively malicious group we're dealing with. what a surprise#there is literally fuck all going on otherwise. the story literally stops to show me another tutorial for a management sim#SWEAR TO GOD. WE'RE ON SEASON TWO OF THIS GAME AND I STILL HAVEN'T ESCAPED NEW GAME MODES AND TUTORIALS.#don't get me started on the new hollow exploration. they truly traded one tedious exploration game mode for another.#i didn't love the tv gameplay but at least it was unique. why am i back in the hi3p2 mines again. get me out of here#and the characters really. truly. are from a different genre from the rest of the zenless cast or something like they have Nothing going on#they r simply not as silly and whimsical as everybody else. 😔 which ig is reasonable if the plot is getting more serious but come onnnn#anyway. maybe i'll come to like it later but truly. truly. it is not hitting any of the right notes for me.
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r0semultiverse · 1 year ago
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Two Truths & a Lie Round 13
For people who can't see polls: Pick the lie.
I’ve posted ass image unclothed.
I’ve posted breasts image.
I’ve posted visible gock image.
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astrxealis · 2 years ago
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me rn having the biggest hots for leon kennedy and astarion sorry LMFAOOO <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#^___^ me smiling innocently#bg3 is on the MIND !!! i dearly want it so badly. turns out my dad played 1/2 (not sure which) a looong time ago#but he never got too far i think bcs he's busy... :P but hey i love him. wow. it's really cool he knows it too (ofc he does lmfao)#me and him (handshake emoji) also never getting far in da origins yet bcs we have it on xbox bcs of him getting it a long time ago#but there's that bug in the mage tower... :( funny we both went thru it LMFAO <//3 anyway i got it on steam so i've been playing#again but not recently anymore since 1. ffxiv took over my life last days of summer again 2. summer is over back school so rip#anyway can u tell i love fantasy :)) da and bg babeyyy !!! my type is going to make you guys cry i'm so obvious#zevran... fenris... astarion... i have a thing for ppl w blond/white hair :P idk my fav in inquisition yet and idk anything abt bg1&2 yet#but Yeah. GHBSHJGBSHJG..... da origins is kinda funny (lack of better word) to me btw bcs i like all four main romance options#but it's hard to explain (i have a story behind stuff i want to share but it's tiring and annoying of me /hj !!!!!)#anyway i like blond elves if it wasn't obvious. yes i also like link and zelda from loz. yes i like legolas. yes i like#...anyway! so where does re fit in this? uh. u see i'm a coward actually i'm too scared to play re LMFAOOO#BTU I ADORE THE LORE and the characters and the game franchise and shit ^_^ just. i shld really watch it sometime#instead of reading wikis all the time and just soaking up all the knowledge but i'm. a Coward. okay#i can't even play bloodborne despite how nerdy i am over it... it's so scary to poor little me... i'm a coward (it's the harsh truth).....#anwyay i'll conquer my fears one day but that day is NOT SOON !!! i wna get into re properly tho aside from just being a nerd#so i'm too scared to play but i'll watch playthroughs sometime (and admire leon) <3 yeah. another blond. i know. shut up.#is this my life rn am i just infatuated w blonds and white haired guys. it's gna be hell if i continue nier replicant rn too huh#uh. goodnight!
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mcalhenwrites · 2 years ago
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Seriously, I wish I knew what I was doing wrong with my writing, tho, bc if I want to be a career author, why can't I get anyone to engage with what I share for free? Isn't that a sign of being EXTEMELY BAD AT THIS?! (And yeah, lots of my followers aren't active, some might be bots that slipped through, and people miss things on their dashes, but most of the time, I get notifs for reblogging other people's writing from the couple of hundred who must still be active out of nearly 1k. Whatever I post? Not wanted.) And please don't "write for yourself" at me if you see this, bc I've been writing for over 30 years and couldn't name anyone else I am doing it for. Even with gift fics, I don't write anything I don't want to. Edit: Also like... it's hard to express these feelings and not go, "ugh, shut up shut up" to myself, but... I can't really keep going on like this (with the nonstop only-ever-experience-failure* part), I just can't. *Some people never do anything but fail, we try and try and try and maybe maybe maybe it'd help to be believed that when we can't swim on our own, we drown Another edit: I just... I want to be good enough, and I want to be happy, and I want time and spoons to write, and I want to stop waking up scared bc things keep getting worse and I can't save myself.
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medicinemane · 24 days ago
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Ah! I have caught undeniable proof that a fucked up negative opinion about myself is correct. I've got a screenshot of it, I've got concrete evidence that this really fucked up negative thing I think about myself is verifiably right
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microwavingfranky · 7 months ago
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Where this goes, part 1.
Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (end)
Hrrrrmmmmm okkaaaay soooooo
this is a sketch comic i drew last year (November 2023) shortly after finishing Ennie's Lobby and starting a new full time job. I didn't really write a script for it and i finished it in 2 weeks... this is completely unedited and just how i made it a year ago (lol rip good luck)
when i tell you i have never responded to anything more passionately in my life that is the truth... idk i fell into a coma or something, it was crazy
there are some things about this that I think are quite nice, which is why I'm sharing it!!! But also please note that it also deserves a good helping of "HE WOULD NOT F***ING SAY THAT" and i understand that 😂 i hope you are able to enjoy it anyway, i said what i said
I'll go through and link all the parts appropriately and work on the alt text once they're uploaded, please be nice to me :0 Read from left to right!
UPDATE: Alt text has been added! Sorry for the bad handwriting. Also added some description for the silent parts for potential text/audio only folks
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dedtoot · 11 months ago
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redeemingvillains · 10 months ago
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veritaserum - mattheo riddle
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summary: when mattheo drinks veritaserum on a bet, he's confident he doesn't have anything to hide... until you show up.
word count: 3.1k
a/n: gosh i love this messy boy. just a little something sweet + fun!
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"I don't know... shouldn't we save it for something... important?"
"Like, what Blaise?" Malfoy responded, exasperated.
"Yeah, got any plans you want to share?" Theo asked.
"All ears, bud" Mattheo joined in.
Blaise threw his hands up. "Fine, fuck it, do what you want with it" he said, resigned, referring to the small vial in Malfoy's hand that had the group's rapt attention as they huddled in the corner of their dormitory like they were first years at a sleepover.
"We should put it in somebody's goblet at dinner."
"We should slip it into Dumbledore's cup, Merlin knows what the geezer would say."
Theo got a wicked look on his face, "I'll give any of you lot 100 galleons to drink it."
Eyes widened around their circle at that.
"You're joking."
"Piss off."
"No, listen to me, we think we know everything about each other, don't we?" Theo continued, letting the sentiment linger "Which means the things we don't know are deep."
He grabbed the vial from Malfoy and dangled it in front of them; Veritaserum, the most powerful truth serum in the wizarding world, even having it in their possession was breaking about 15 Ministry laws.
Members of the group stared shiftily at one another, but Theo found Mattheo's gaze staring boldly at him as he leaned casually against his four-poster, a smirk on his face.
"Make it 200 and you've got yourself a deal" Mattheo grinned.
Snickers of laughter took the group as they punched one another in amusement and excitement.
"Bottoms up" Theo said, tossing the vial at him.
"I've got nothing to hide" Mattheo replied with an air of emblazoned confidence as he deftly popped the cork and threw the liquid back like a shot of firewhiskey before anyone could stop him.
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It didn't taste like anything other than water, and for a moment Mattheo thought this was the easiest 200 galleons he'd ever make, but then he felt a sort of bubbling in his chest, like every feeling, every sentence he'd ever held back wanted to burst forth.
"...Well?" asked Malfoy, cautiously, leaning in, "How do you feel?"
"Bloody weird" Mattheo said, looking down at the empty vial in his hand. "And apprehensive, like I definitely don't want you to ask me things." His eyes widened at the words that had come so truthfully and vulnerably out of his mouth before he could stop them, suddenly realizing that he'd made a horrible mistake.
Theo was howling with laughter, leaning in and rubbing his hands together as he got ready to obliterate his best friend for being so cocky; he was going to make every galleon worth it.
"Did you take Blaise's Chudley Cannons scarf last term?" he asked.
"Yup, sold it to a fifth year for a bag of weed— SHIT" Mattheo said quickly, eyes wide before slapping a hand over his mouth.
"Mate, what the fuck?—" Blaise started, but Theo was on a tear.
"—Did you cheat off of Lorenzo's potions exam this week?"
"Of course" Mattheo admitted, the words blasting by his hand, "I've been doing it since fourth year, his handwritings the size of my fist, thanks for that by the way" he said, looking at Enzo.
"Prego, amico" Lorenzo said smiling and shrugging, "happy to help."
"Alright then" Blaise said, the anger and frustration clear in his voice as he eyed Mattheo, "better own up, didn't you slip McLaggen a galleon to let Theo score on him last match?"
"Yeah, fuck, and I'm not sorry about it. I'm tired of hearing Theo piss and complain about losing when he barely shows up to practice and lets the rest of us down."
"OOHHH!" shouted several of the guys.
"Fucking harsh mate!!"
"What the fuck?!?" Theo shouted angrily as he lunged for Mattheo and the others tried to hold him back.
Amidst the shouting and commotion, they didn't hear you knock on the door.
"Guys?" you asked, raising your voice to be heard.
Five heads turned your way as they stopped mid-brawl and began to stand up and right themselves, adjusting their ties and smoothing their robes. For his part, Mattheo's heart nearly shot out of his chest. No, no no no not right now he thought as you pushed your way into their room. On any other occasion he'd be thrilled to see you, but now the bubbling in his chest was reaching its peak at the sight of his deepest, most tightly held secret: you, and every single thing he felt about you.
He took in your amused smile, the light laughter on your lips, the way it made your eyes sparkle and he felt his palms tingle with sweat as he grasped them into fists and swallowed deeply, like he could ingest his own thoughts. You were his best friend, had been since the moment he met you on his first train ride to Hogwarts and he had no illusions about ruining your friendship by trying for anything else; girls like you didn't end up with guys like him.
"Are you alright?" you asked, looking at him strangely before his friends chimed in for him.
"S'fine!"
"Yeah, yeah!"
"Never better!"
"What do you need, love?"
"I am NOT fine!" Mattheo said boldly and rather loudly before he could stop himself and your eyes shot to him with concern.
"Wait, what's wrong Matty?" you asked, using the nickname he only tolerated coming from you.
He pursed his lips tightly and shook his head, averting his eyes to the floor, physically warring with the words that were flooding his subconscious.
What's wrong? A lot of things are wrong, YN. For starters, I love you. I love you so much it physically pains me to spend as much time as we do together and not to grab your hand, to pull you onto my lap, to nuzzle into your neck, to kiss you; I have a list of things I want to do to you every time I see you. Especially in that godsdamn skirt you're wearing. It's my favorite. You should know that. And I wish you would stop wearing it, you have no idea the ways guys look at you. I wish you'd wear it only for me. I wish you'd want me the way I want you, because I want you so badly. I wish you were mine, but I'm scared, no, fucking terrified of the way I feel about you because love is vulnerability and vulnerability is weakness and I can't tell you any of this so please, please don't ask me anything and please, please stop looking at me like that.
"Matty?" you asked again, now thoroughly concerned as your best friend slammed his hands over his ears as you walked towards him.
Theo was burning hot with anger, stewing over what Mattheo had said about him, he wanted to take him down a notch, to embarrass him in return. "Admit it" he interrupted, staring at Mattheo "you have a thing for Pansy and you've tried to make a move on her even though she's with Draco."
You stopped short of approaching Mattheo and stared at Theo.
"What?" you whispered, feeling physically ill, jealous and hurt even though you had no such right.
Mattheo straightened up and glared at Theo.
"What the fuck did you just say?!" Draco said, brushing past you as he came for Mattheo.
"I'm right, aren't I?" Theo pushed further, so smug, so certain he was right.
"No you fucking prat" Mattheo spat at him.
Draco grabbed Mattheo by the front of his robes. "You swear it, you haven't made a move on her?"
"I swear it."
"Not even before we were dating?" Malfoy pressed.
"Not even before you were dating" Mattheo confirmed.
"What the fuck is going on?" you said, exasperated, almost to yourself as you tried to calm down.
"Veritaserum" Blaise said by way of explanation as he leaned in to be heard over the continued shouting of your friends. "Theo bet one of us to drink it and, well..." he said, gesturing his hand by way of explanation at the calamity in front of you.
Malfoy was shouting questions at Mattheo who looked genuinely surprised if not annoyed, and Enzo was looking back and forth at them like it was a tennis match. Theo had a deeply skeptical look on his face as he listened on, "No, you're always weird around Pansy and YN though, I thought..." then, like a lightbulb went off, Theo looked at you, to Mattheo and back again.
"Do you think Pansy's hot?" Malfoy continued.
"Bro, give it up" Blaise said finally, stepping to pull him back, "I think you're in the clear."
"I mean yeah she's hot, but she's not my type. FUCK!" Mattheo replied, rubbing a hand over his face at the admission.
"She's not, but YN is" Theo said finally.
Mattheo bit his bottom lip and stared at the floor, concentrating very hard on the tassels of the rug beneath his feet as he shook his head, a grimace on his face.
Your heart trilled in your chest, which was literally rising and falling in both panic and excitement. Mattheo was shaking his head no, but his whole body was fighting something, there was something he didn't want to say... about you.
"So, she's not your type? Not attractive to you at all?" Theo pushed.
Mattheo's face was turning a dark shade of red as pursed his lips closed and shook his head vehemently, refusing to meet anyone's eyes, his own nearly watering with the exertion of fighting the potion within him.
"Totally platonic? Didn't give a shit when Seamus Finnegan asked her out last term?"
Mattheo glanced at Theo, gathering himself, as he tried desperately to say the only truth he wanted to share. "He's a prick, no secret I didn't think it was a good idea—"
"—You never told me that" you said quietly, confused, and not a little bit angry. "But you avoided me for a few weeks after, I remember..." you said, trailing off as you stepped closer to him, and Mattheo's looked genuinely afraid, outstretching his hands to stop you from coming any closer.
"What don't you want to say?—"
"—I don't want you here right now!" he said loudly.
You physically reared back at the harshness of his words. You caught his eye, trying to communicate the way you often did with one another, to ask things that could only be said without words, but you got nothing in response.
"R-Right" you said, your voice wobbling as you turned to leave, thoroughly embarassed.
And the sound of it nearly broke Mattheo's heart.
"Wait, wait, I didn't meant it like that, I don't want you to be upset, please don't be upset" he said, moving to reach for your hand urgently, the unmasked care and compassion in his voice making you turn and making Draco and Blaise bat at each other's arms in excitement like school girls at the scene unfolding in front of them.
"I don't want you to hear my truth" Mattheo said quietly, and just like that it was just the two of you, you who knew more than any of these idiots, you knew about Blaise's scarf (you had told him not to sell it), about him cheating in potions and paying off McLaggen, but even you didn't know his most deeply held secret and this isn't how he wanted it to come out.
"Please" he begged, in way none of his friends had ever heard him speak before.
"I just... I thought I knew all of your truths?" you said vulnerably, your chin wobbling, saddened at the idea that there was a part of him you didn't know.
"You don't. I'm sorry" he said simply.
"But they get to hear them?" you said, gesturing towards your friends.
"No, they don't know them either."
"What would be so bad that you wouldn't want anyone in your life to know, Matty?"
He bit his tongue as he tilted his head. "It isn't bad. I didn't say it was bad" he said.
You could tell he was playing with you, selectively choosing his words. Your curiosity piqued as you turned to face him fully with your arms crossed.
"What don't you want us to know?" you asked.
"How I — FUCK — feel — mmhmm" he tried to physically shove the words back into his mouth, clapping his hands over his mouth again as his body betrayed him.
Theo stepped forward, trying to pry his hands back. "Say it!" he said.
Mattheo tried to wiggle out of his grasp, the two of them thrashing back and forth.
"C'mon mate, time to earn those galleons! Cough it up! How you feel about what?" and Theo yanked Mattheo's hands away from his mouth just long enough for Mattheo to all but shout:
"HER!" he said, loudly, pointing to you. "About YN. I — FUCK — fucking love her."
You could have heard an owl feather hit the floor.
"Oh shit" Malfoy whispered.
Theo took a step back as he realized the enormity of what he'd just done. He'd thought Mattheo had a little crush on you, I mean, didn't they all? He thought it was just a bit of fun. But love? He'd know Mattheo for 7 years and he never so much as heard him say the word, let alone direct it at another person, in fact he knew just how much the concept had been beaten out of him as a child.
"Mate, I'm—" he started.
Mattheo glared at him in way that reminded you for a moment about the family he came from, and it was the first time you'd ever seen Theo genuinely afraid as the smile dropped from his lips and he took an unconscious step back.
"Fuck you" Mattheo said, stepping towards him, the measured control in his voice somehow more frightening than the alternative. "You always take shit too far, you know that? That's why—"
"—Matty?" you said, your quiet whisper and the questions that lingered behind it tugging at his heart and pulling his attention back to you.
He met your eyes and the fury he felt at Theo dissolved in an instant, like it had apparated from the room, because the way you were looking at him was an expression he'd only seen in his dreams. You didn't look angry or confused, you weren't laughing or embarrassed, the sparkle in your eye was back and a soft smile rested on your lips, your eyes were blown wide, hopeful even, with a hint of something else underneath that had a sensation like melted honey spreading throughout his entire body.
"Can we maybe talk... outside...?" you asked.
"Yes, for the love of the gods" he said, walking quickly to your side, letting his hand rest gently at your back, the intimate gesture not lost on anybody as your friends wolf-whistled and snickered and he flipped them the finger over his head.
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Now that the truth was out, there was nothing stopping the words that flew out of Mattheo's mouth as you led him to a nearby secluded corridor.
"I really want to talk to you about this" he said, the moment you were outside of the dormitory, "I am so embarrassed that it came out that way, that's not at all how I wanted to tell you, well, I didn't want to tell you at all, I was terrified actually. I've liked you for a long time, really since the first day we met, do you remember? On the train? You were wearing that blue jumper, you smelled like cinnamon and vanilla... You always smell so fucking good—"
You laughed as you pulled him with greater urgency by the hand away from prying eyes as he continued to ramble on, the truth serum creating a veritable waterfall of words out of his mouth.
"—You're so fucking beautiful, I love your hair, your eyes, your smile, your nose... that sounds weird, but it's true, it's so fucking cute—"
"—Mattheo" you said, as you stopped, placing your hands on his chest and pressing him gently against the stone wall to get him to slow down. "Breathe."
He shook his head.
"No, it's out now, and I don't know how long this shit lasts and if I don't say this stuff now, I'm not sure I'll ever have the balls to say it to your face, I've held onto this for 7 years YN."
Your lips curled into a small pout at how sweet he was being, at the idea that your best friend had been pining for you since you were 11 years old.
"I love you" he continued breathlessly, "and not like a little bit. Like, a lot. I don't know..." he said, carding his hand through his brown curls, "I've never felt this way about anyone, anything. I'm all consumed with you. You're the only thing I think about, the only girl I want, I'd do anything for you. And I'm sorry if this is going to totally wreck our friendship, if you want things to stay the way they are, I will try my level best—"
But his words were cut short as you pressed your lips to his, capturing his truth, letting it wash over you, every word you had been desperate to hear, every thought you'd shared the same. It surprised him for only a second before his hands grasped your face and he pulled you further into him.
"You're fucking perfect" he whispered after a moment, his eyes dancing over your features.
"Remind me again why I didn't give you veritaserum like years ago?" you said, smiling against his lips.
"It's a felony?" he said, laughing.
"...Right" you said, laughing back.
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You were only gone a few minutes, but as you scurried back to the dormitory you tried to fix your hair, and wipe the lipgloss off of Mattheo's face as he smiled down at you with puppy dog eyes.
"They're going to lose their mind" you said quietly just outside the door, "let's just play it cool, alright?"
And before he could respond that there was no way on earth he could possibly do that, you pushed the door open and all conversation stopped.
"...Alright?" Theo asked, turning to face you both, nervous at the potential mess he may have caused.
"Fine, we were just talking—"
"—She macked me!!" Mattheo shouted truthfully with a huge grin on his face as he wrapped his arm around you.
You gasped and swatted at him playfully, your cheeks blushing a rosy pink as your friends erupted into cheers, hoot and hollers, descending on you both as Mattheo looked down at you, glowing, happier than you could ever remember seeing him.
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