#but now i go to ao3 and try to find fics and im like... yo y do these all fucking suck?

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[enchxanting]

our love is god [ethan landry x reader] pt. 11

read part 10 here || all parts

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

warnings: discussion of suicide, attempting and faking

cw: (fake) suicide, mild gore / body horror (? if you squint), guns

a/n: back from the dead. the party ended an hour ago and she's still here (me still writing this fic when the scream vi/ethan landry fandom is basically dead and it's almost 2025). i'm gonna finish this even if it kills me bc my mom didn't raise a quitter. im also on ao3 btw

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Wake up.”

Fuck, I must have fallen asleep on my desk. I lift my head up groggily, unsticking the open page of my diary from my forehead. I look around for the source of the voice before feeling a tap on my shoulder. “Boo.”

I turn and my blood goes cold. Tara stands in front of me, lips and chin stained with a disgusting blue, leafing through my copy of Moby Dick. She grins, and her teeth are bloody. “Surprised to see me?”

“What the actual fuck,” I say. “How are you here?”

That makes her laugh. “It’s your guilty conscience, Y/N. But I’m glad for the reprieve. The afterlife is so boring.”

“Tara,” I begin, “I am so, so sorry. I had no idea–”

She waves me off, taking a seat on my bed. “Save it. There is literally nothing you can say to make this,” she gestures to her face, “okay. Let’s move on.”

My eyes well with tears. I know this can’t be real, but even then, it feels so good to see her again, to hear her voice.

“You haven’t called Anika,” she says, after a moment.

My heart clenches. “Fuck, I know. It’s just all been so crazy. And I’ve been with Ethan…”

She rolls her eyes and stands, crossing her arms. “Not that she’d be able to pick up the phone, anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was on the news, Y/N. She stepped into the freeway holding a suicide note. A real one.”

My blood goes cold. “Oh my god, Tara, is she dead?”

She doesn’t look at me. “Just some broken bones. The car wasn’t going fast enough. Trying to imitate me, I guess.”

“Jesus Christ, that’s not fucking funny.” I’m crying now, face hot and heart thumping.

“Sorry, you’re right. What’s funny is you're still listening to your psycho boyfriend even after he killed me.”

“What happened to moving on?” I choke out.

She sighs. “Sorry, you’re right. That’s one of the things I’m supposed to be working on, up in heaven, you know.”

I sink back into my desk chair. “Everything is so fucking wrong.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I have no clue. Ethan is psycho but I can’t get rid of him. If I go to the cops I’d have to admit my involvement in the whole thing. Plus, he’d probably find a way to pin it on me. He’s so persuasive. Every time I’m with him I get confused.”

“Well, see if you can hold strong this time.”

“Wait, what do you mean?”

She points to the window. “Knock, knock.”

I go over and peer through the blinds. Climbing up my tree is Ethan, eyes wild and pistol between his teeth. I gasp and stumble back from the window. What the fuck do I do?

“Yo, girl, fucking keep it together,” Tara says, and she’s right. I have to stay calm. What would Nancy Drew do? Or Wendy Torrance?

Or better yet– what would Ethan do?

I hear a solid thump as he lands on the roof of our porch, right underneath my room. I run into the closet, barely locking it behind me as I hear him climb through the window. 

“Hi, Y/N. Sorry for barging in through the window– dreadful etiquette, I know, But I thought your parents wouldn’t let me in.”

“Get out of my house,” I say, voice hoarse. “We’re done.”

“Come on,” he whines, “I thought all was forgiven. You and I, we’re like Bonnie and Clyde.”

“You’re sick.”

“You like that,” he hisses, and I can tell he’s right up against the door. “Seriously, Y/N, what happened to ‘I love you?’”

I don’t respond. Instead, I reach for an old belt and footstool tucked away in a corner. His fist slams against the door. “What, you’re not going to say anything?”

Using the footstool to reach, I tie the tail end of the belt to a beam on the ceiling. Carefully, I loop the other end around itself, sure to actually slide the buckle through the tightest hole, snug around my chin. God, I hope this works.

I hear Ethan step away from the door. “Y/N, I’m going to count to three. Come out of there.”

He pauses for a second, and when I don’t respond, he scoffs. “Fine. One… two… fuck it.”

He slams his whole body against the door, and I close my eyes, kicking the stool out from under me.

I hear him gasp, and the sound of his knees hitting the carpet. “Oh my god– Y/N–” he chokes out.

I feel him grasp my leg, and it takes everything in me not to flinch away. “Why would you do this?” he sobs. “You were the only person I had left… we almost…”

After a moment, he lets go and rises to his feet, and I hear the rustle of his jacket as he wipes away his tears. “I wasn’t going to go through with it. But if I can’t have your love, he’s right. Everyone has to suffer.”

Who is? I think, but I hear Ethan’s footsteps retreat back to the window. I wait until I hear the sound of his tire treads screeching against the asphalt to open my eyes and grab the shelves on the side of my closet to steady myself, pulling my head out of the loop I'd made.

“Clever,” Tara quips. I’d forgotten she was there. “I guess through the tears he didn’t realize you weren’t actually choking. He’s a little melodramatic, huh?”

“I have to stop him. No one else can do it, not the FBI, not the CIA, not the PTA. I don’t know what he’s planning, but someone is going to get hurt.”

“Well, don’t forget that.” I look to where she’s pointing at the bottom of my closet, where Ethan’s gun lies, forgotten in the heat of the moment. 

“Shit,” I say. 

“He finally slipped up.”

Tara and I look at each other. I give her a half-hearted smile. “You know, I might be seeing you soon if this doesn’t work out.”

“Don’t say that, Y/N. Go fucking get him. For Mindy, and Chad, and Anika, and me.”

She grabs my hand, and my eyes well up again, but when I blink them away, she’s gone, and I’m standing alone in my room, hand outstretched to the air.

I sigh. “One more dance, Ethan.”

dm or reply to be added to my taglist

[orangepeelshortbreadcookies]

Hello!!! sorry i jum in here but i saw many post of your as a polin pen hater. You can hate what you want of course but its necessary to lie just to hate a character because of her body??? it wasnt that bad, she was not mean.

yes, what she did telling the ton marinas secret was not the best choise but it was what she thought it was the only way. Do you all wish for colin a marriage with not love?? and in a more practical way this is fiction and we all now he was going t end with pen , they are end game and thi is romance, its suppouse to be romantic that theu found each other, and for me it is. She didnt told marina secret because she wants colin for herself , she never thought she cold have him. maybe yo dont understand this but we, fat girls who are foung unattractive NEVER expect love or having a man, even less somone like colin. I think you, as many sadly, jugdge Pen actions too strong and deep down its all becuase of how she looks. Depp down i know you judge her action strongly becuase you can't accept that a woman who looks like that get something. I know you will keep hating, just want to say my opinion

(2) I saw you ask once why we ( pen fans) are mad when people hate her like you do if we got everything, saying like she happy and get married and LW. i will answer that from my perspective. Im fat, people is mean and that herats and yes, maybe it not a good things but it nice to have a revenge for all that suffering , but beside that i feel represented FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME in a romance show, ALL THE ROMANCE FEMALE LEADS AND THIN WOMAN and for the first times she looks like me but everyone is hating her becuase of how she looks and the worst is anyone accept its becuase of that, you all write long essays jugdging her actions but as i said, Were her actions that bad???? think about it fr......

Others please also refer to this post for more context.

I did not intend to answer this ask, because honestly, I'm really very lazy. Since there are only so many ways I can make my argument against the same accusation over and over again, especially to someone who clearly doesn't want to listen, I figured ignoring was the right decision. I'd rather spend my creative energy and efforts on my own writings, instead of figuring out another elaborate wording on how being critical of a character's actions does not equate fatphobia, and that personal adversity does not equal a 'get out of jail' free card for repeatedly inflicting pain on other people on a mass scale. I've talked about it in depth in my own blog, as well as reblogging other eloquent, well thought-out posts from others, Polin fans and anti-Polin fans alike. You can just scroll through my blog to see that. But I don't think you have come after me, time and again, to be convinced.

Even now, I still think ignoring you would have been the smarter, or at least, easier course of action for me. But I digress. Maybe it's one of those days where I feel more confrontational, maybe my ADHD is acting up and my meds are not hitting as well today, maybe after weeks of stress-filled personal achievements I'm feeling talkative seeing someone trying to disturb my peace. Nontheless, since you've made diligent efforts in seeking out my response, today's your lucky day, once and for all.

Something my mutuals and followers might have learned about me, is that I, being pretty fucking lazy, don't post/write a lot. To remedy this, when I do post, oftentimes I try to be as thorough as I possibly can. So, in the spirit of being thorough, here's a little log of the things I have received in the past weeks, on this site as well as on AO3, some of which, @cherryblossom970sblog, I have reasons to believe came from you

So you feel represented by character. Awesome. Good for you. You should celebrate it with like-minded people. You think nobody likes Penelope the way you do? Find the ones who do. I can assure you, they exist. I saw them daily on my dash. Read fics that bring you joy. Don't read the ones that don't. I have seen way too many Penelope/Anthony, Penelope/Benedict or even Penelope/Gregory fics, or fics where Penelope just straight up abused Colin that are celebrated in the comments. I don't like those and you know what I do? Scroll past those fics or click out of those and not read them. You know what I don't do? Go after the writers, try to police their writing, and accuse them of bigotry for not catering to my preferences.

Accept the fact that it's not going to be a 100% percent approval rating. And that's fine. That's part of life. I'm a primary Benophie fan, I've seen people wanting Benedict to end up with different people. It's their prerogative, I leave them alone. I have mutuals who have different takes on actions of Kate, Edwina, and Anthony, with varying degrees of feelings regarding how season 2 ends, and I have my own opinions. Personally, I find all three parties were wrong in that triangle, especially Anthony, and the sisterhood between Kate and Edwina in that season ought to have been handled with more respect and care. And my mutuals and I have civil, nuanced discussions about such things and ending those with still different opinions. That's okay. They're fictional characters and their actions are up to character analysis. It's fine.

What ISN'T fine is obssessively stalking inboxes of strangers, REAL people, unleashing insane level of hate and prejudices in defence of a FICTIONAL character, and accusing them of crimes they OBJECTIVELY did not commit, all because they don't share your opinions. I know you don't think this kind of behaviour is okay, you said so yourself that it's not a good thing. You've experienced fatphobia, you have my sympathies for that, but it doesn't give you the right to be shitty to other people. Your own bad experiences do not entitle you to disrespect, dismiss, invalidate and insult the people you harassed, including me, many of which are WoCs who have valid concerns regarding how their own experiences are represented and treated on the show. My struggles of being a bisexual, Asian, immigrant woman does not excuse me from being toxic to people who have done me no harm. I will not be vindicated in demeaning someone who have criticisms against the actions of fictional character who share my traits, criticisms that I just happen to disagree with.

And frankly, I find reducing the nuances of a character or person to only their bodies, to contribute (as either condemn or excuse) their actions to be only the result of their bodies, fucking insulting. It's infantalising and dehumanising.

Have a nice day and happy shipping. Leave us alone.

[cellsshapedlikestars]

ganymedeee im cringing so hard and i have no one to talk to about this so i have to share with you anonymously

unnecessary background info just for context: when i started reading fanfiction over 10 years ago i started on fanfction.net and im never on there anymore because i discovered ao3 which is definitely superior but anyways i for some reason entered a weird depressive state and i guess reverted back into my 16 yo self, stopped reading jonsa (i miss them 🥹) and started reading my first ever ship again, somehow landed on ff.net, remembered i had an account, found it and discovered that i posted stories??!? im pretty sure i wrote them for the same reason that i ended up on ff.net today: because there are in total 3 well written stories for that fandom. i just spent an hour reading comments laughing my ass off at some of them starting with "this is STUPID" and going on to explain the loopholes in the story. yes honey it is. i wrote it when i was 16.

on a tangent - the quality of jonsa fanfiction is actually insanely good. its strange to actually have to go looking for "well written" fanfiction after spending the past 5 years on the jonsa tag where mostly everything has the quality of published novels.

alright sorry for the huge ask! question: have you ever forgotten a piece you wrote and read it like it was written by someone else?

Anon, I adore everything about this except that you entered a depressive state. I'm not sure when that was and if you're still in it, but I hope things get better. I have absolutely been there.

First of all, yes the jonsa fandom is extremely talented. I don't actually read a lot of fic for other fandoms. I get obsessed with one and that's all I care about. I like other ships, and sometimes I'll go try to find fics to read, but I end up getting bored pretty quick. And yeah, sometimes I give up because the quality isn't great

I find your ask so interesting, because I also wrote fanfic as a teenager, but then dropped the hobby for probably over 10 years, until I was in a very bad depressive state (brought on by starting a new birth control lol) and started reading fic again. Went to ao3 because I wasn't satisfied with the ending of GOT, and found the jonsa fandom. Started writing fic for it 8 months later.

And ooooooh boy, I have a whole backlog of fics for my old fandom. A few years ago, I re-posted them from ff.net (in case it died) to ao3, because while a lot of them make me cringe hard enough that I couldn't even read through them again, I checked my ff.net stats and people were still reading them a decade later. And for a very, very small fandom. So I might cringe, but clearly some people were getting enjoyment out of it.

There were a few I did re-read and enjoyed again, because while my writing style might be different now, the ideas were good and some were even decently written. Some were not. Some I wrote in first person POV, which I DESPISE. I also wrote so much smut. Like a lot. Or, I did at first. I absolutely wrote less smut the more confident I became in writing plots/relationship dynamics/character studies. Actually, looking at the account now, it turns out I did not transfer a bunch of my earliest fics because they were just bad smut lmao

As for forgetting a fic/reading it like it was written by someone else? Alas, no. I have a very specific memory, fortunately or unfortunately. I still remember the Sailor Moon fics I wrote when I was eleven, that I never even posted online, I just wrote for myself.

Anon, I have to say I really want to read your cringe fic, but I will not ask you to share it. I know I've never shared my other username on here (though someone from the jonsa fandom did find my stuff because I named the ship outright at one point, and it wasn't hard to find my stuff in the 113 fics for it on ao3 - 24 of which are mine. It was very funny when they commented, and I responded with my ganymede account, so perhaps someone else will come across it in the wild at some point).

And I'm sorry you got critical comments! I was very lucky that my fandom was so small and everyone was SUPER supportive of each other, which I will always appreciate because I absolutely would have given up writing if they'd been mean to me lol

Anyway, TL;DR - I love this. Cringe at your own writing. Love that 16 year old who wrote it.

[tomato-fendo-writes]

I dont have an ao3 account so id like to drop a comment in your askbox if thats alright. With that being said the change of pov was SO good, keeping us in the dark as to what kazuya's feelings are about all this (tho we can kinda guess thanks to the previous chapters) especially on jin now that they have proper interactions, and its also kinda funny how quiet he is when we're not in his head. All while everything about jin is downright heartbreaking, the scene of him confronting his father over being late is my fav part of his chapter, cant wait for him to eventually realize that kaz isnt either "just closed off and not particularly mean" nor "uncaring and straight up cruel" but a little bit of both. Its also interesting how, from an outside point of view, kaz's self-interested pragmatism could ALMOST be read as kindness, he DID find jun's phone and he DID gave jin his own phone to contact lee. Speaking of, considering how empty that phone is save from messages from lee and jun, i wonder if jin is gonna find the pictures his mother send his father, im glad at least those photos didnt die along with jun and her phone :)

In any case, this fic makes me insane, Im eagerly waiting the next chapter, its really good👍

no problem taking comments in ask form! tho it is easier for me to lose track of them, and i think you can comment as a (named) guest on ao3? unless theyve changed that

but yo i have been thinking about this ask ALL DAY DHFJK, youve picked up on SO MUCH of the little stuff ive been laying down, youre the first person ive seen point out many of these! kazuya's intentions being easily misconstrued from the outside, jin having him HALF pegged, the pictures..... know that i very rarely bring things up without them contributing something, at least when it comes to my writing. legit started beaming and pointing at my phone screen reading parts of this comment - certain parts here will be VERY important, but i wont say which ones ;)

going thru the rest of the comment, ty so so much, writing jin's grief was something i spent a lot of time on, and us knowing kazuya's general thought process up to this point is why i switched when i did. we understand what he's thinking, what JIN thinking about all this? both sides are equally important, so i wanted to get jin's pov as early as i could.

and i agree that its almost funny how silent kazuya can be when we aren't reading his crazy little thoughts sdhfjk. when i write him interacting with people i often have to go "how many times can i have him go quiet before it gets freaking annoying," but im trying to write him a little more reserved! hes doing a lot of observation through much of this fic, he thinkin CONSTANTLY, but im trying to balance his internal and external voices as well as i can. i actually have a joke with my beta thats just "SPEAK, MOTHERFUCKER," cause he employs the silent, impassive deathglare so much 💀

ty SO SO MUCH i was glowing at lunch while reading this, thank you for your support, compliments, and everything else! ♥

[succubusphan]

Just What I Ordered

Summary: Phil is a very rich businessman who sometimes forgets to close the door to his apartment when he's playing video games, Dan is a very unfortunate delivery boy.

Tags/warnings: Strangers to lovers, my intention was for this to be a Phil thirstrap in fic form, let me know if I got it right. Warning for food mentions in this: Phil is not against any types of food, he just gets an upset stomachs if he is not careful.

Rating: PG

Word count: 1.2k

A/n: This fic was written for the Valentine's Day Im-PROMPT-u hosted by the @phandomreversebang. The prompts I used were "Blush" and "At first sight."

Please like, kudo, reblog and all that good stuff if you enjoyed it!

Read on ao3

Phil loosened up his tie and walked into his penthouse, resisting the urge to remove all of his clothes in the foyer. His suit was just a bit too tight now that he had started going to the gym more regularly, it felt almost constricting. He would need to go shopping and find something nice that actually fit his new figure.

Walking into his bedroom, he removed his jacket and trousers, toed off his shoes and decided to settle on the couch for the time being. He unbuttoned his shirt but got distracted before finishing the task; his stomach was growling. Pizza sounded nice, but honestly, he knew his entire week had been filled with junk food and not enough time to get something that wouldn’t entirely destroy him after a few days. He sighed in melancholy thinking back to his 20s when eating shit had no repercussions on his poor digestive system, but alas, he was a man of a certain age and had a stressful job, so he needed to be more careful with what he ate unless he wanted to schedule a weeklong time off from the company.

It didn’t have to be something nasty either, he could get something good, right? Like, maybe some ceasar salad, or Thai food, like a nice sweet and spicy veggies stir fry with kimchi and a veggie burger. That surely had to count as a healthy option.

He opened his favourite Thai place’s app and placed the order. Fuck he was basic… he just had to hit the button to remake his last purchase and add a £100 tip. It was only fair since he loved their food so much and he could afford it. He briefly wondered if the owners would be offended if he wanted to become an investor in their restaurant.

Phil dropped his phone next to him on the couch and let his shoulders relax as he played Apex Legends and killed some people. Time must have run away from him because when he looked up there was a full man with a motorcycle helmet on, standing beside him in silence holding his order.

“Aaaah!” He screamed.

“Sorry!” Yelled the guy before swiftly removing the helmet. He - he was beautiful. Warm brown eyes, brown curly hair, probably as tall as Phil himself and he had dimples. And a tiny golden hoop on his ear! “I am so - so sorry. I - listen, the door was open…” The longer he spoke the more the blush rose on his face. It was absolutely adorable.

“Well, you could have knocked, but I guess you are not here to kill me so it’s ok,” then Phil looked at the bag he was holding. “Is that my order? It looks a bit massive for what it is.”

“It’s two veggie burgers, two stir-fries and two orders of kimchi. The two beers are on the house for being a long time customer.” The guy spoke in a rushed tone but he was trying to avoid eye contact at all costs, why?

“That’s double of what I ordered,” Phil stood and the guy took a step back, his eyes going doing his chest and to his crotch. That’s when he realised… “Oh, my god. Sorry, I’ll be right back, stay right here.” The man nodded but gave him one last look.

Phil removed his button-up and pulled on some grey sweats, he reached for an old t-shirt, but looking in the mirror with his new -nearly visible- muscles gave him a boost in confidence so he decided to go without. He walked back to the man in his living room and watched him choke on his spit when he saw him. “I apologise; you will get another tip for the inconvenience.”

“You already gave me £50, that’s enough, thank you.”

“No, I put £100 but I still want to give you something extra.”

The man frowned and looked at the ticket, confirming what Phil had said. “So they stole half of the tip.” he left the bag on the coffee table.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

“Dan, why?”

“Dan, maybe you should quit.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you live here and I’m a broke art student.”

“Hmm, do you have anything to do right now?”

“Yes, I’m working.”

“I’ll give you a new job. Just, stay and have dinner with me.”

“Is this some sort of scam? Do you receive all of your delivery boys like that?” He pointed at Phil’s naked torso.

“No, only the cute ones,” Phil laughed, but apparently Dan didn’t think it was funny. “Listen, I have my own company and I can just give you a job to match whatever skills you have, it would give you good hours and nice pay so that you can focus on your art. My name is Phil by the way.” Dan was still silent. “No, I have never opened my door in my pants but in my defence, nobody had ever just let themselves into my home either.”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s alright. Just give it a thought alright. I’ll give you my card and if you are interested, just text me and we’ll see what we can do. No pressure. You can also take the other half of the order since I won’t be eating that much.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You know it’s best to eat it while it’s hot than the next day.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

Phil pulled a card from his wallet and gave it to Dan, who read it and ran his fingers through his curls. “Well…”

“Right, um…” he hurried to grab one of each container and put them in his jacket before closing the bag again. “Thank you.”

Phil tried to give him a £100 bill but Dan waved his hands and stepped back. “It’s too much. Good night, Phil.”

“Good night,” Phil said, shaking his hand and holding on but just a bit longer than normal before letting go. He watched as Dan walked out of the apartment and shut the door before dropping to the couch. He smiled just thinking about Dan’s dimples, his stomach was flipping over in a way it hadn’t since he was a teenager.

The doorbell rang again, startling him. He walked to the door and opened it. Before he could understand what was happening, Dan had pulled him into a deep kiss. He had no mercy for Phil, his hands exploring his chest and walking him back into his apartment. Phil pulled away with a smile. “I thought you couldn’t stay.”

“I changed my mind,” he said, grabbing Phil’s ass with both hands and kissing him again.

And that’s the story of how Phil met his husband; the real one, not the one they told at the wedding.

[masterjedilenawrites]

Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 2

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. First, 2 platonic chapters for set-up/build-up. And then, the story will split into 2 paths depending on your romantic pairing preference: You and Thrawn, or You and Eli.

Chapter Masterlist

Chapter 2: The Plan

Pairing: None...yet...

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of bullying

Length: 2k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

The rest of the week saw the three of you using every bit of free time outside your classes and studies to gather information for Thrawn to build a solid plan.

Eli tailed his pesky classmate Arden everywhere, even skipping a class one day to break into his dorm, trying to learn anything about the guy that could be useful to get him involved in the plot. Thrawn analyzed the simulation software and protocols that would be used to administer the tests, mapping out every possible way Commander Burdick could hijack it. And you were the one spying on the Burdick himself. Since the commander didn't seem too interested in your grades, you were able to shadow him without suspicion, and had been able to slip a bug into his offices to eavesdrop on any potential conversations about his plans for sabotage.

Your classmates and the staff were none the wiser. That was the advantage of being social outcasts. Half of them avoided you all like the plague, and the other half already thought you were weird people doing weird things. So it wasn't long before you'd all gotten enough intel to work with.

It was late in the evening at the end of the week. You found yourself in Thrawn and Eli's shared dorm, which looked identical to your own in the opposite wing, because the Empire couldn't bother with things like individuality or comfort. Eli sat on the edge of his top bunk, his legs swinging casually, and his coat unbuttoned to reveal a wrinkled undershirt you knew he hadn't bothered to wash all week. Thrawn paced about in the middle of the room, his long strides only allowing him about four good steps before he had to turn around. He still had his uniform on, boots and badges and all.

You leaned against the railing of the bed, watching Thrawn as he went back and forth. Sometimes he sat still when he was scheming, with his fingers steepled and his gaze seemingly reaching into some unknown dimension beyond your comprehension. That usually happened when he was running through variables that didn't concern you, at least from his perspective. You and Eli had accepted long ago there would always be parts of his plans he would never share with you. He was kind of a control freak like that.

But tonight, he seemed to be more welcoming of collaboration, hence his steady rhythm of pacing in front of you.

"Only one variable remains, as I see it," he was saying. "We understand how the commander will manipulate the system to cause a redundancy in the simulation, thus rendering the test impossible to finish successfully."

You and Eli shared a glance; the only person who truly understood how that was going to happen was Thrawn. He'd tried explaining numerous times but when it came to codes and tech, the two of you weren't able to fully keep up.

"We also know through your investigating," Thrawn motioned to you with what you thought was an impressed look, causing you to feel a little pride, "that the commander plans to only sabotage my test, believing it will be too suspicious if Eli also fails. He will also manipulate his false code to originate from the computer of his former lover Eva Carroway, who currently works in HR. So if an investigation does ensue, it will be traced to her and not him."

You and Eli chuckled under your breaths. It had been a little amusing when you'd discovered Commander Burdick was using this plan to not only undermine Thrawn, but also get revenge on his ex-girlfriend. But even more hilarious was how awkward Thrawn treated the subject. He had been quite perplexed to learn people could be so vindictive after a break-up. And any time he explained that detail of the plan, like he was doing now, he hesitated over his word choice. You couldn't tell if he only pretended to be confused about romantic relations, or if that was truly an area he found himself lost in.

If Thrawn noticed your snickering, he didn't respond to it, only continued to recap the plan. "We have also determined how we will expose the altered code naturally, so it does not cast suspicion on us... What was the word you used?"

"Backfire," said Eli.

"Yes. It would not due to have anyone suspect that we altered the test ourselves, or to have our concerns disregarded altogether. Thus, arranging for the maintenance crew to get a mild case of food poisoning so their performance checks are postponed to occur right before the tests will take care of that variable. At the least, they will fix the altered code and I will take the test as normal. At the most, they will report it and the commander faces expulsion."

"So..." said Eli through a yawn as he stretched. "What's left to work out, then?"

Now it was time for you and Thrawn to share a look.

"Were you not interested in involving your classmate, Arden Fey?" asked Thrawn in his soft, contemplative voice.

Eli shrugged. "Yeah. But Burdick's already got his scapegoat, his ex. So it'll be easier to keep him out of it. Whatever."

You could tell he was trying to be nonchalant. But just this morning, he had spent the entire walk between classes ranting about some new insults Arden had come up with, and how badly he wanted to show the guy up once and for all. You knew your friend wasn't feeling "whatever" about it.

"It's not a matter of ease or difficulty," Thrawn stated plainly. He had stopped pacing and was standing with hands behind his back, highlighting the broadness of his shoulders and the height of his stance. His presence seemed to fill up the whole room, and not for the first time, you were glad to be his friend and not his enemy.

"Yeah," you added in encouragement. "We just have to get creative. Find a way to make Arden a more appealing scapegoat than Burdick's ex. In fact...."

You trailed off as an idea occurred to you. You darted out of the room, surely leaving your two friends perplexed, but you would only be a second. You sprinted down the corridor toward the lifts, where a bulletin hung against the wall with fliers and pamphlets. One notice was a bit larger than the others, a promotion of an upcoming gala event to celebrate the Academy's anniversary. You ripped it off and went racing back to the boys' dorm room.

Eli had come down from the bunk and held a concerned look, probably prepared to follow you if you hadn't returned so quickly. Thrawn was still standing composed, but there was a curiosity in his eyes that made you smile.

You held up the poster in front of your chest. "What do you think the likelihood is of us playing successful matchmakers this week?"

Thrawn understood your idea almost immediately, looking down on you with a pleased smirk. It made you flush a little, to know the Chiss was impressed. You rarely had a chance to contribute good ideas when his mind worked so much faster than yours.

Eli caught on next, and he started to grin, the happiest you'd seen him in a while. His smile was infectious and you grinned back. Happy looked good on him.

"We know Eva's not shy with younger guys," you explained. "Before Burdick, she was fooling around with some intern in the med bay."

"And Arden's vain enough," added Eli. "If he thinks anyone's interested, he'll go for 'em."

"So we get him to ask her to the gala as his date...." you said.

"Burdick sees the two of them together...." said Eli.

"And realizes he can get back at his lover in another way, by pinning the sabotage on another student...." joined Thrawn.

The three of you stood together, proud and satisfied that yet another plan had finally worked out. It was almost worth the stressful studying and petty bullying and all the other unpleasant things you had to endure at this god-forsaken school, just to have fun moments like this with trusted friends.

"We should attend this gala as well," Thrawn said eventually, holding out a hand for the poster. He inspected it thoughtfully. "It is only a few days before the tests, so I hadn't planned to pay it any mind. But now...."

"Yeah, we should make sure Burdick's as jealous as we want 'im," nodded Eli.

You were secretly pleased. The plan was already a win-win, but now you would be able to go to the event yourself, too. You hadn't mentioned your desire to go to either of them before, figuring they weren't interested and not wanting to sound silly if you suggested it. But you did love dancing, and it was so very rare you got a chance to wear something other than your Imperial uniform.

"It's a dance," you noted, in case they couldn't tell by the details on the poster. "We'll need to go in pairs."

"I suppose it would make the most sense for you and Eli to go together," said Thrawn quietly.

You looked between the two, realizing both of them were flushed slightly. Eli's cheeks were dotted with pink, standing out amongst his dark brown features, while Thrawn had more of a purple tint to his face now, a color you'd never seen there before. You could feel yourself growing warm and uncomfortable as well. It was only a dance... only a way for you to enact a much more important plan... but it was the first time your trio had had to engage in anything other than platonic friendship. The balance of your group seemed to be shifting ever so slightly in this moment, and you had no way of knowing if it was for good or ill.

You cleared your throat, pushing away any feelings that might have been brewing in your chest, and instead calling focus back to the mission at hand.

"Actually, I think I'd better go with Thrawn. Whoever doesn't go with me would have to find their own date, and no offense Thrawn, but I think Eli has the better chance of asking someone else."

You hoped they hadn't noticed how hollow your voice sounded, how hard you were trying to keep yourself emotionless.

Eli was pinker than ever. "Uh, I highly doubt that..."

"You're not completely hated around here, you know," you said quickly. "Definitely not with the girls. You're not bad looking, you can be charming if you try, and you're... you know, human." You glanced at Thrawn and added again quietly, "No offense."

Thrawn shook his head. His color and demeanor had already slipped back into his usual neutral self. "No, I agree. Those are the dynamics of our peers and we must work with it. I will take you to the gala, Eli will find his own date, and all three of us will push Arden and Eva together as well. It's a good plan."

You all nodded in agreement. But there was a knot in your stomach, a nervousness you didn't quite understand. You cared very much for both Thrawn and Eli. They were your best friends, your only friends. As a group, you were bonded by your ostracism, protecting and supporting each other on your journey out of this hell-hole.

And separately, you had something special with each, too. You and Eli came from similar backgrounds, and had the same need to disconnect from your surroundings and just have a bit of fun every once in a while. The two of you had spent many late nights together, either hopping between bars, exploring the city, making each other laugh uncontrollably, or quietly sharing the honest thoughts you both buried far too deeply inside. Some nights you'd done all of the above, and returned to your dorm feeling both exhausted and renewed.

But Eli didn't always appreciate the finer things in life, and that's where you connected with Thrawn. He wasn't necessarily an optimist, but he had this way of noticing the beauty that existed everywhere around you, even in the most simple or mundane of moments. Everything had the potential to be interesting. His calm but strong presence had kept you grounded and sane throughout your studies here so far. Sometimes you would talk, other times you would simply be in the same space. And either way, you felt better about life.

You didn't exactly want your relationship with them to change. But you couldn't help but feel this gala would do just that....

Next Chapter: The Preparation >

Blueberry Path | Thrawn x reader

Cowboy Path | Eli x reader

[vintagedean]

fic writer questions

okay, so for this one i was tagged by both @venhedish and @amill22. THANK UUUUUUU!!!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 15 fics! i do have a separate ao3 but i feel like it’s easier to stick with this one.

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

just over 105k, which is kind of amazing to me.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

just supernatural over here. i will say, generally i’ve written for 24 fandoms over the years. but these days, just spn!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

1. what do we call what we have but love?

2. big bad good

3. fuck it i love you

4. ride for you

5. stay don’t go

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i do! i have twooo comments still waiting for a response bc real life swept me and my serotonin away, but i like to respond to comments bc i do think it helps build relationships with other members of the fandom. many of my fandom connections start with losing it over each other’s fics and then finding each other on tumblr and starting to chat. it’s nice.

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

maybe “stay don’t go”? i personally think “lost time” can be seen as one of my most depressing fics if one wanted it to be. or, lol, “the night before the end” which literally takes place the night before john dies, but neither of them knows that yet, so it’s not particularly angsty IN the fic? but as a reader it might be.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

i don’t. i like playing with canon too much. i’ll do aus, but then there just hasn’t been a xover that seems interesting enough to me.

8 ) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not on this account. i’ve received thinly veiled call outs on how i’ve written characters on my other one, like people ganging up on a behavior they don’t like that i’ve written, but i just shake it off. i stand by what i write generally.

9 ) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lol, who, me? nah.

10 ) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

lol no BUT i did have someone steal a title from one of my stories to use in a compilation music video where they took fic titles that matched the lyrics in bohemian rhapsody. not really stolen, but kind of weird. someone commented on the fic like, yo i don’t go here but this fic was good. found it from this video, jsyk.

11 ) Have you ever had a fic translated?

somebody asked i THINK on this account? like i think someone asked to translate “fuck it i love you” into chinese, and i said yes, but idk if it ever happened.

12 ) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but i’m not opposed. like @amill22, she’s done some playing in my #marriedvibes universe. maybe we should bite the bullet and write something together lol.

13 ) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

at this point? deanjohn. i never thought that would happen, but something has just clicked with me. i think i’ve found my ship, my people, my writing niche. i don’t think i’ll ever get tired of thinking about them.

14 ) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

the only wip i have that i worry about finishing is one i’ve only published on chapter for, which is “the whole family is fucked” but even then, it’s chill. i don’t have pressure on that fic, and i think it’ll come with time. i don’t have a set plot for it, im just vibing. big bad good is going to take longer than i want, and i think i’ve finally accepted that. i hope to finish it this year, but i would rather be realistic about the pace than set a standard and be so disappointed in myself i don’t meet it that i give up. it’s not going to be that intense to finish, it’s just a matter of time and energy, which i do not have in excess right now, so i keep writing little things. idk what’s better. trying to force bbg or just letting myself write what i write and when the spirit moves me get back to bbg. anyway, i’m rambling.

15 ) What are your writing strengths?

i think i’ve gotten a lot better at smut, and i think i do a good job with writing in character.

16 ) What are your writing weaknesses?

i think i rush to post when i should let fics rest before editing a final time. i think i can be repetitive too. idk. i’m sure y’all have your own complaints lol.

17 ) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i can’t do it so i won’t.

18 ) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

ohhh...hmm. i think harry potter? that was my generation, so it would fit.

19 ) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

idk! i like pretty much all that i’ve written. pretty much everything i’ve written for deanjohn has been specifically to my tastes (which is probably why prompts take longer even tho i ask for them--if they’re not really to my tastes, even if i like the concept, it’s hard to get the energy to do them; i think it’s a good exercise to write them anyway, but yeah...if you prompted me in the last year and i haven’t filled it, i still expect to, but who knows when) so i really enjoy rereading them lol. 

maybe “satin and lace.” maybe “tender like a bruise.”

this was so fun!!! thank you so much for the tags, folks!!!

[waveypedia]

complete and utter chaos [ducktales group chat fic] - Chapter 4

Ao3 I Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

let kids be kids

6:55 am

ICanDeweyIt: WHAT IS UP GAYS AND GALS

TheWebbedWonder: hi :3

Junior-Woodchuck74: you couldn’t have waited five minutes

ICanDeweyIt: it’s the kids gc uncle donald won’t know

Junior-Woodchuck74: knowing him he’ll find a way

ICanDeweyIt: true

ICanDeweyIt: anyway what’s up

Junior-Woodchuck74: over half of us live in the same house as you and we’re all sleeping

TheWebbedWonder: im not

Junior-Woodchuck74: you should be

Junior-Woodchuck74: you stayed up until 3 on facetime with Lena

lenaonme: yes and

Junior-Woodchuck74: when you and Violet come over we’re going to have a talk about healthy sleep habits

lenaonme: you’ll never catch me, nerd!!

ICanDeweyIt: SHUSH huey im bored

Junior-Woodchuck74: I know

adefinitelyrealboy: do you like cat videos, Dewey?

green-sharpie: oh no

adefinitelyrealboy: Webby and I have been sending some back and forth to each other!!

TheWebbedWonder: Finally a fellow cat video enthusiast :3

green-sharpie: webby istg

ICanDeweyIt: oh YES

adefinitelyrealboy: yay!!

adefinitelyrealboy: I’ll send them right away <3

Family Group Chat!!!

7:01 am

mutant-krill!!!!: good morning everyone!!

ICanDeweyIt: good morning!!

Lucky-Gander: good morning!

Lucky-Gander: What’s the haps today

lenaonme: please never say that again

TheWebbedWonder: I WANNA GO CAMPING

TheWebbedWonder: WHO’S WITH ME

Junior-Woodchuck74: Webby, we just started planning a sleepover

Junior-Woodchuck74: and you’re allegedly planning an adventure?

TheWebbedWonder: I am :3

Violet-Sabrewing: please stop using that emoticon

TheWebbedWonder: :3 :3 :3

adefinitelyrealboy: oh!! That’s so cute!!

TheWebbedWonder: I know :3

UnoCaballero: maybe focus on one thing at a time, webs

TheWebbedWonder: ugh fine

Adventure-Pilot: do you need any help planning your adventure?

TheWebbedWonder: Ooh are you offering?

Adventure-Pilot: sure!

TheWebbedWonder: !!! I’d love that!!

Adventure-Pilot: 💖💖💖

Tea Time: Stop stealing my children.

TheWebbedWonder: aww Granny!!

TheWebbedWonder: It’s okay you can both be my parental figures 💖

TheWebbedWonder: I have lots of them!!

ICanDeweyIt: Webby’s winning in terms of parental figures tbh

Junior-Woodchuck74: true 😔😔

TheWebbedWonder: >:3

green-sharpie: stOP

TheWebbedWonder: no >:3

dr. mad scientist: thanks i hate it

Tea Time: Which one of you children taught him that

Blathering-Blatherskite: I feel déja vu

Lil’ Bulb: I did :3

green-sharpie: NOOOO THEY’RE MULTIPLYING

TheWebbedWonder: YES

TheWebbedWonder: EMBRACE IT

ICanDeweyIt: never

ICanDeweyIt: YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME

TheWebbedWonder: I CAN AND I WILL

green-sharpie: lol run

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey just got up and sprinted away

lenaonme: webby ended our call :(

ICanDeweyIt: you guys called AGAIN

lenaonme: yes and

UnoCaballero: is someone else joining our chat today?

DosCaballero: wym?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Well, Webby seems to add one person every single day

Blathering-Blatherskite: except for yesterday, when she added both of you!

DosCaballero: hah! we’re special!

DosCaballero: @TrêsCaballero get over here we’re being special

TrêsCaballero: Did someone say special?

TrêsCaballero: Because I am very special! ✨

Junior-Woodchuck74: btw Tío José most people use that emoji ironically now

TrêsCaballero: Oh? Well I suppose they just couldn’t handle the sheer power of me! ✨

lenaonme: heck yeah reinvent the world break those stereotypes

lenaonme: @UnoCaballero stop editing my texts

TrêsCaballero: I will!

TrêsCaballero: the sparkles emoji was invented specifically for me

DosCaballero: oh absolutely

UnoCaballero: stop swearing then

lenaonme: ur not my dad

UnoCaballero: but I am your uncle

lenaonme: skdfghgfds

lenaonme: ok 

Junior-Woodchuck74: @Blathering-Blatherskite answer my DM

Scrooge-McDuck: don’t distract my employees at work lad

Blathering-Blatherskite: sorry I was getting something for webby

Scrooge-McDuck: you are working

Blathering-Blatherskite: yes that

dr. mad scientist: hey DUMMY

dr. mad scientist: get over here and work on this chart

Blathering-Blatherskite: why are you texting the mega group chat we're literally in the same room

Scrooge-McDuck: see laddie? work. work that needs to be done

Scrooge-McDuck: I’m not paying them to waste time on their phones, you hear?

ihaveahead!!!: i’m not sure if this is meant for huey or for us

Lil’ Bulb: probably both

Scrooge-McDuck: it’s both

ihaveahead!!!: that checks out

TheWebbedWonder added M.A.M.A. 

Blathering-Blatherskite: M’MA!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: oh hello Ms. Cabrera!!

M.A.M.A.: hello!!

Scrooge-McDuck: oh no my employee productivity!!

adefinitelyrealboy: Hello! I’m Boyd, a definitely real boy!

M.A.M.A.: um, alright.

M.A.M.A.: nice to meet you, Boyd!

adefinitelyrealboy: my name is an acronym just like yours!

M.A.M.A.: Oh really? What does your name stand for?

adefinitelyrealboy: Be Only Yourself Dude!

M.A.M.A.: Well that’s certainly wholesome.

adefinitelyrealboy: thanks! I picked it out myself!

adefinitelyrealboy: what does your name stand for?

M.A.M.A.: María Antonia Magdalena Aldonsa. It’s my name!

TheCrashiestCrash: neat!!

Scrooge-McDuck: welcome Ms. Cabrera, now my employees need to get back to work

UnoCaballero: ok lol

Scrooge-McDuck: what does that mean?

Scrooge-McDuck: Donald, what does that mean???

UnoCaballero: have fun~

Scrooge-McDuck: DONALD FAULTEROY DUCK

dr. mad scientist: HAHAHAHAHAHA your middle name is faulteroy???

Adventure-Pilot: dude your name is literally gyro you don’t have much of a leg here to stand on

dr. mad scientist: neither do you, DUMBELLA.

moonlander-general: HAHAHAHAHA is that really your full name??

Adventure-Pilot: shut up shut up

dr. mad scientist: that’s what you get

Blathering-Blatherskite: Gyro got banned from Starducks because he cursed out employees who thought his name was an allusion to the sandwich

dr. mad scientist: it’s not MY fault they can’t see the brilliance in a perfectly good name!!

dr. mad scientist: i picked it out myself!!

green-sharpie: oh, so it’s perfect in every way

dr. mad scientist: yes!!!

dr. mad scientist: wait was that sarcasm

dr. mad scientist: if that was sarcasm you will rue the day!!!

Scrooge-McDuck: Gyro, what did we say about threatening children?

dr. mad scientist: not to.

Scrooge-McDuck: good!!

Scrooge-McDuck: now get back to work

DosCaballero: you really have a one-track mind huh

Scrooge-McDuck: HEY

Lucky-Gander: he does care a lot about money

wreathedingold: ugh it’s the opposite

wreathedingold: he doesn’t care enough about money

Scrooge-McDuck: come now Goldie

Scrooge-McDuck: i put my family above my money and i’m not shy about it

Tea Time: as you should.

Scrooge-McDuck: thank you, Bentina.

Teach Penny and Mom Pokémon Group Chat!!!!

11:22 am

ICanDeweyIt: ok what’s your favorite pokemon

ICanDeweyIt: this is for science

Junior-Woodchuck74: did you finally escape from webby

ICanDeweyIt: shhh i’m hiding

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: not for long

ICanDeweyIt: nO

ICanDeweyIt: anyway

ICanDeweyIt: i’ll go first

wildlymisunderstood: i don’t like pokemon

TotallyNotGizmoduck: LIES

ICanDeweyIt: NO

ICanDeweyIt: i can’t believe you’d do this to me gyro

wildlymisunderstood: dr. gearloose

ICanDeweyIt: treason

ICanDeweyIt: treason of the highest caliber

ICanDeweyIt: this calls for… public execution!!!

wildlymisunderstood: lol no

aw-phooey: dewey…

ICanDeweyIt: anyway i like keldeo and jigglypuff

lenaonme: >:o neither of them are even blue

ICanDeweyIt: part of them are!!!

lenaonme: who are you and what have you done with dewey

ICanDeweyIt: shut UP

green-sharpie: anyway i like snorlax

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: leaked louie fact: he would snuggle with a snorlax

aw-phooey: confirmed

green-sharpie: whaaaaat they look vv cozy

green-sharpie: tell me you wouldn’t

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: okay fair

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i’m writing down “snorlax plushie” as a gift idea!!

green-sharpie: OOOOOH 👀

green-sharpie: WEBS YOU’RE THE BEST

green-sharpie: the rest of you need to step up

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: 🥰🥰

green-sharpie: hey you know what i also like

green-sharpie: meowth

green-sharpie: meowth plushie go

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i’ll put it on the list!

aw-phooey: louie

universesgreatestadventurer: louie

Junior-Woodchuck74: louie c’mon

green-sharpie: ugh fine

ICanDeweyIt: webby go

green-sharpie: you’re just trying to distract her aren’t you

ICanDeweyIt: yes and

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: fairy types!

wildlymisunderstood: of course

aw-phooey: i like Gyarados!

Lucky-Gander: as you should

moonlander-general: that sounds like Gyro’s name

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: ooh yeah it does!

wildlymisunderstood: I suppose Gyarados is deserving of my name

universesgreatestadventurer: oh my god-

wildlymisunderstood: della shut up

universesgreatestadventurer: hey

aw-phooey: hey

wildlymisunderstood: any pokemon would be better anyway though

aw-phooey: no they’re not

wildlymisunderstood: incorrect

TotallyNotGizmoduck: hey don’t fight!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: uhh

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl changed green-sharpie’s name to Snorlax’s Cuddle Buddy

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: tell me i’m wrong

wildlymisunderstood: you’re wrong

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: shut up you don’t actually think that you just wanted the chance to tell me off

wildlymisunderstood: truth

Snorlax’s Cuddle Buddy: okay valid 

Snorlax’s Cuddle Buddy: but how does that solve anything

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: idk

ICanDeweyIt: mom wbu?

worldsgreatestadventurer: my team consists of a growlithe, a lucario, a garchomp, a zorua, and a sneezel!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: oooh very concise i like it

worldsgreatestadventurer: thank you, dear!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: 🥰🥰 skdfdksl;df

ICanDeweyIt: cool cool cool

ICanDeweyIt: writing that down thank you

worldsgreatestadventurer: should i be worried?

aw-phooey: nah

PM between TotallyNotGizmoduck and lenaonme

2:44 pm

lenaonme: yo

TotallyNotGizmoduck: hi, Lena.

lenaonme: so

lenaonme: huey yelled at me

TotallyNotGizmoduck: haha sorry

lenaonme: geez don’t apologize when i’m trying to apologize lmao

TotallyNotGizmoduck: oh! Uh.. i’m not sorry?

lenaonme: that works i guess

lenaonme: anyway it was supposed to be just light teasing i’m sorry for being mean

TotallyNotGizmoduck: it’s okay

lenaonme: you don’t have to say that

TotallyNotGizmoduck: it is though!

lenaonme: okay thanks

lenaonme: and please for the love of all things magic change your name

TotallyNotGizmoduck: one day

lenaonme: but really

lenaonme: i am sorry

TotallyNotGizmoduck: well… I hereby accept your apology!

lenaonme: kjsdfhgjfkdls

lenaonme: thanks

TotallyNotGizmoduck: anytime

2:53 pm

TotallyNotGizmoduck: oh and Lena?

lenaonme: yeah?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I know we don’t really talk but I still care about you

lenaonme: huh

lenaonme: thanks

lenaonme: i really am sorry

TotallyNotGizmoduck: it’s okay

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’m here if you need me

lenaonme: thanks

lenaonme: I might take you up on that one day

Family Group Chat!!!!

3:34 pm

UnoCaballero: is everyone okay?

UnoCaballero: sound off

green-sharpie: yep

Scrooge-McDuck: here

Blathering-Blatherskite: yeah, what’s going on?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Mom and Webby unleashed a portal to the boiling isles during their adventure research

Blathering-Blatherskite: oh shoot, do you need Gizmoduck’s help?

Blathering-Blatherskite: cause I can call him. Yeah. i have him on speed dial

Blathering-Blatherskite: cause so many of Gyro’s inventions go haywire!

Lil’ Bulb: oh my god

dr. mad scientist: not evil.

Blathering-Blatherskite: that’s not what I said.

dr. mad scientist: just wildly misunderstood.

Junior-Woodchuck74: Fenton… 

TheCrashiestCrash: I think we’re good! Thanks!

Blathering-Blatherskite: No problem!

TheWebbedWonder: yeah but it was fun! And I’m a lot closer to figuring out our adventure!

TheWebbedWonder: thanks!

Adventure-Pilot: anytime sweetie!

dr. mad scientist: your family is ridiculous

wreathedingold: seconded

Lucky-Gander: agreed

Adventure-Pilot: aw, you love us

lenaonme: you guys realize you’re all part of the family right

Violet-Sabrewing: the group chat is called “Family Group Chat”

TheWebbedWonder: don’t forget the exclamation points!!

Violet-Sabrewing: of course.

TheCrashiestCrash: Dewey and I are still wrangling the last of those demons, mr. d!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: then why are you texting?!

Junior-Woodchuck74: hang on, i’m coming over.

TheWebbedWonder: me too! woohoo, more demons to fight!!

lenaonme: oooh i’m coming over!!

Indy_Sabrewing: maybe not…

lenaonme: oh come on

lenaonme: we face way worse all the time!!

purpleisforthegays: oh that’s true…

Violet-Sabrewing: I’ve already packed by nunchucks.

purpleisforthegays: oh you girls are going to give me a heart attack one day.

Indy_Sabrewing: don’t worry honey, I’ve already doubled our vacation fund budget. I just had to take some away from the Junior Woodchucks donations.

Junior-Woodchuck74: aw man

lenaonme: 😔👊

Violet-Sabrewing: It do be like that.

green-sharpie: [screenshot-my-longest-yeah-boi-ever.png]

Indy_Sabrewing: Lena, you’re corrupting her.

lenaonme: as i should.

Tea Time: we all do need a vacation one of these days.

ICanDeweyIt: ooooooh

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey! More fighting, less texting!

ICanDeweyIt: I can multitask!

Junior-Woodchuck74: no you can’t!

Junior-Woodchuck74: studies have shown that multitasking is, on a nanosecond level, virtually impossible

ICanDeweyIt: well, impossible is just another kind of possible!

Junior-Woodchuck74: no it’s not.

ihaveahead!!!: why are you guys texting each other in the main group chat when you live in the same house?

ICanDeweyIt: because we can.

Junior-Woodchuck74: because he’s ignoring me and I can’t hear much over these demons

Lucky-Gander: checks out.

TheCrashiestCrash: we’re all good here!

Scrooge-McDuck: I think that’s the last of them.

mutant-krill!!!!: can you possibly save any specimens for me to study when I arrive in Duckburg?

green-sharpie: webby has ten.

Junior-Woodchuck74: i think Mom has a couple too.

Adventure-Pilot: sure do! and I’d be happy to share!

mutant-krill!!!!: great, thanks!

Blathering-Blatherskite: wait, are you coming to Duckburg?

dr. mad scientist: oh blathering blatherskite not again

Lil’ Bulb: be nice.

mutant-krill!!!!: based on the star and naval patterns I’ve been tracking, Mitzy, Gladstone, and I should be arriving in Duckburg in a couple days!

Junior-Woodchuck74: why didn’t you tell us in advance? We have to prepare!

mutant-krill!!!!: sorry little donald! But this is in advance!

Junior-Woodchuck74: okay fair

ghostbutler: @Tea Time

Tea Time: What

ghostbutler: the house is disgraceful

Tea Time: You bail every time a fight breaks out!

ghostbutler: one of the perks of the afterlife

Tea Time: ugh, you are insufferable.

Scrooge-McDuck: Duckworth was there! He and I fought together!

ICanDeweyIt: can confirm; i stuck my hand through him again!!!

ghostbutler: every time you do that i want to die and i’m already dead.

Tea Time: You saw me fighting twenty demons and bailed immediately.

ghostbutler: it’s a compliment! I figured you could take care of yourself!

ghostbutler: was I wrong?

Tea Time: no.

ghostbutler: perfect! And you still need to clean the house.

wreathedingold: I sense petty drama that somehow I did not cause.

wreathedingold: the world is unbalanced.

Scrooge-McDuck: oh don’t worry, you’ve caused plenty more than your share of petty drama

wreathedingold: oh Scroogey, you flatterer!

dr. mad scientist: i will never understand their romance.

M.A.M.A.: You and me both, and I’ve only been here for a couple of hours!

Blathering-Blatherskite: hey, you two finally agreed on something!

dr. mad scientist: you take that back!

Junior-Woodchuck74: just going to point out that we literally finished fighting five minutes ago and there’s already another fight

green-sharpie: what did you expect from this family?

Junior-Woodchuck74: okay fair

TheWebbedWonder: I’d like to think we’re pretty good 

TheWebbedWonder: especially compared to like the Beagle Boys and Mark Beaks and his mom

dr. mad scientist: HA that’s what he deserves

dr. mad scientist: mark beaks? how about no

ihaveahead!!!: we do not stan

dr. mad scientist: thank you

dr. mad scientist: me seeing mark beaks' name: wish i was jared, nineteen

green-sharpie: KHGFDFGHKLKHGFDSDFGH

Violet-Sabrewing: Don’t be mean

dr. mad scientist: i will not be lectured by a child!

M.A.M.A.: (or anyone)

dr. mad scientist: you say that like it’s an insult but it’s true

ihaveahead!!!: but you’re insulted, aren’t you?

dr. mad scientist: shut up.

TheWebbedWonder: hey Violet’s very knowledgeable!!

Violet-Sabrewing: thank you Webbigail!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: It’s interesting; both of those dysfunctional family dynamics are caused by power abuses and imbalances and lack of communication

Junior-Woodchuck74: both of them have gone far beyond that, but that’s the root of the problem

purpleisforthegays: interesting!

DosCaballero: forgive me, but who are these people again?

dr. mad scientist: god i wish that were me

moonlander-general: villainous fiends!!

DosCaballero: oh okay

DosCaballero: @TrêsCaballero time to fight! The Three Caballeros ride again!

TrêsCaballero: the Three Caballeros ride again!

UnoCaballero: The Three Caballeros ride again!

moonlander-general: Are you three going to say that every time you do something together?

Scrooge-McDuck: You get used to it lassie

Scrooge-McDuck: What you DON’T get used to is three freeloaders mooching off your house and food!!

UnoCaballero: haha bye Uncle Scrooge! Villanious villains to fight!!

Adventure-Pilot: Ooh, fights? Where?

UnoCaballero: not for u lol

Adventure-Pilot: HEY!!

M.A.M.A.: Should I be worried you’re all so eager to be violent or-

dr. mad scientist: you’ve punched me multiple times

M.A.M.A.: you deserved it

M.A.M.A.: And I’ll do it again

dr. mad scientist: noted

Scrooge-McDuck: please don’t incapitate my employee when he should be working

M.A.M.A.: So i’ll do it when he’s off the clock, got it!

dr. mad scientist: hey!!

Lil’ Bulb: he’s always working anyway

dr. mad scientist: true

Scrooge-McDuck: that’s right! You need to work less, lad. I don’t want the unions telling me to pay you overtime

dr. mad scientist: so I can get punched?

Violet-Sabrewing: only if you deserve it

dr. mad scientist: very encouraging, thank you /s

M.A.M.A.: you always deserve it

dr. mad scientist: there we go

TheCrashiestCrash: hey don’t worry Dr. G!! I think you’re a nice person!!

dr. mad scientist: that is factually incorrect but thank you

Blathering-Blatherskite: okay okay let’s all calm down

M.A.M.A.: just say the word, pollito, and I’ll punch his face in

Blathering-Blatherskite: that’s the opposite of what I was going for but thank you M’ma

TheWebbedWonder: YES VIOLENCE!!!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Webby no

TheWebbedWonder: I do think Fenton’s right though! Some problems are better solved with love and compassion

TheWebbedWonder: no matter how much I like punching things!!

Tea Time: that’s my granddaughter!

Scrooge-McDuck: atta girl!!

TheWebbedWonder: aww thank you 💖💖

adefinitelyrealboy: I agree! Talking and understanding can solve a lot of problems!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: statistically, a lot of problems are caused by simple miscommunication!

DosCaballero: especially in sitcoms and the like!

green-sharpie: it’s funny tho

purpleisforthegays: no, it’s just hard to watch

lenaonme: the secondhand embarrassment is real

Violet-Sabrewing: sometimes it’s done well, but that’s fairly rare. Of course that’s all an opinion.

TheCrashiestCrash: you gotta be careful to explain yourself before the problems get big!

Adventure-Pilot: that’s pretty insightful!!

PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and TotallyNotGizmoduck

4:53 pm

Junior-Woodchuck74: Did you see the news?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: no I’m on the clock

TotallyNotGizmoduck: what happened? Is Gizmoduck needed?

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m not sure

Junior-Woodchuck74: But there was another supposed PK sighting

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Interesting

TotallyNotGizmoduck: That’s the third time this week, and the seventh time this month

Junior-Woodchuck74: Some of them are definitely fake

Junior-Woodchuck74: But this one looks pretty real

Junior-Woodchuck74: If it’s faked they did a pretty good job

TotallyNotGizmoduck: my legal shift ends in forty minutes and Mr. McDuck will be displeased if I stay behind, but as long as I don’t mention overtime it should be fine

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Gyro does it all the time

Junior-Woodchuck74: Don’t take an example from Dr. Gearloose’s sleep schedule

TotallyNotGizmoduck: It is very unhealthy

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’ve pulled my fair share of all-nighters working on projects, thought

Junior-Woodchuck74: That’s not the same though

Junior-Woodchuck74: I swear that man never sleeps

TotallyNotGizmoduck: He does

TotallyNotGizmoduck: at his desk

TotallyNotGizmoduck: for a couple minutes

TotallyNotGizmoduck: When Manny and I hide the coffee

Junior-Woodchuck74: of course

Junior-Woodchuck74: Well, thanks Fenton! Talk tomorrow?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Of course

PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and lenaonme

7:31 pm

lenaonme: so

lenaonme: i talked to fenton today

Junior-Woodchuck74: How did it go?

lenaonme: good, i think

Junior-Woodchuck74: That’s great!

lenaonme: he’s too nice for his own good

Junior-Woodchuck74: Well, you say the same thing about Webby, so I know that’s a compliment!

lenaonme: oh shut up

Junior-Woodchuck74: You know I’m right

Junior-Woodchuck74: anyway I think you guys will be friends!!

lenaonme: i think so too

Junior-Woodchuck74: Lena

Junior-Woodchuck74: You have no idea how happy that makes me

lenaonme: that’s what i’m going for

Junior-Woodchuck74: aww you softie

lenaonme: don’t tell anyone i have a reputation

Junior-Woodchuck74: I think you already ruined that one sorry Lena

Junior-Woodchuck74: we all see how you act around the Sabrewings and Webby

lenaonme: fair

PM between Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl and worldsgreatestadventurer

7:51 pm

worldsgreatestadventurer: did you get everything you needed?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yeah I got the amulet! 

worldsgreatestadventurer: perfect!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I almost have the entire adventure mapped out

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl we just need the key from the goblin realm!

worldsgreatestadventurer: you didn’t get that from the Demon Monarch?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: they got thrown in goblin jail for a diplomatic miscommunication a few years back and lost it

worldsgreatestadventurer: well that’s fine! more adventure for us, then!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: woo-oo!!

worldsgreatestadventurer: so, how do we get to the goblin realm?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I got the incantation we need to open a portal from the Demon Monarch!

worldsgreatestadventurer: perfect! Do you want to invite Lena and Violet over?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: do you even need to ask?

worldsgreatestadventurer: I guess not!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Violet and Lena are my supernatural summoning buddies! The boys just don’t have the same penchant for it as we do :(

worldsgreatestadventurer: ngl i think Louie got traumatized by one of your summonings

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yeah, we try to do it when he’s out of the house now

worldsgreatestadventurer: good to hear

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: other than that, I finished the map of the rock course based on the testimony we got from that weird flesh creature from the other dimension!

worldsgreatestadventurer: haha yeah… that was weird…

worldsgreatestadventurer: let’s not think about that!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: fine by me!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Do you want to play Death Soccer Obstacle Course with Dewey and I?

worldsgreatestadventurer: do I!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: meet you in the backyard!

worldsgreatestadventurer: I’ll be there!

Family Group Chat!!

8:34 pm

Junior-Woodchuck74: So.

Lucky-Gander: oh no

Blathering-Blatherskite: This can’t be good

DosCaballero: Donal’ used to do the same thing when he was mad!

UnoCaballero: I still do

UnoCaballero: and I am mad

TrêsCaballero: oh no

mutant-krill!!!!: what happened, little donald?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey’s in the ER

M.A.M.A.: what? What happened? Do I need to arrest someone?!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Is there an evildoer on the loose?!

adefinitelyrealboy: oh no!! I hope he’s okay!!

TheCrashiestCrash: wait!! Dewey’s injured??

Tea Time: Launchpad you drove him there!!

TheCrashiestCrash: oh yeah!!

Lucky-Gander: ?

Tea Time: Dewey has a broken leg, but he’ll be fine

Junior-Woodchuck74: He was playing soccer on Webby’s obstacle course and jumped out of one of the third story windows

ihaveahead!!!: oh dear

ICanDeweyIt: it’s called death soccer obstacle course, dear hubert

dr. mad scientist: well I can see where the death part comes in

ghostbutler: In reality a broken leg is fairly tame compared to death

lenaonme: oh true

Violet-Sabrewing: you both would know

Indy_Sabrewing: Hey, be nice. Dewey just broke his leg.

TheWebbedWonder: there’s lots of death! Dewey’s just good enough to escape with only a broken leg!!

dr. mad scientist: jeez you are all crazy

lenaonme: so are you lol

ihaveahead!!!: you have no moral high ground here

Junior-Woodchuck74: Lena, what did we talk about?

lenaonme: bruh

lenaonme: sorry

ICanDeweyIt: nah ur good

dr. mad scientist: eh it’s true

dr. mad scientist:  i’m a scientist i don’t hide from the truth

ihaveahead!!!: …

Lil’ Bulb: are you sure about that

dr. mad scientist: shut UP

dr. mad scientist: you will be silent or i will make you

ihaveahead!!!: oooh i’m so scared

wreathedingold: ooh secrets!

green-sharpie: i am looking

dr. mad scientist: oh blathering blatherskite

ICanDeweyIt: hey this is about me remember?

Junior-Woodchuck74: dewey oh my god

green-sharpie: ok i won’t go with you to the hospital then

green-sharpie: i’ll sit on the couch and watch ottoman empire

ICanDeweyIt: you won’t you love me too much

ICanDeweyIt: right? Louie?

ICanDeweyIt: LOUIE???

ICanDeweyIt: quick everyone help me spam his pms

dr. mad scientist: i have better things to be doing 

lenaonme: i spam his pms daily it won’t make a difference

ICanDeweyIt: yall are the worst 💔💔

UnoCaballero: so no one’s going to mention that that’s just not nice

UnoCaballero: ok

Adventure-Pilot: you’re just salty that I spam your pms daily

Adventure-Pilot: kids did i do it right? Did i use the slang???

TheWebbedWonder: yes good job!!

lenaonme: congrats

Junior-Woodchuck74: good job mom!!

Adventure-Pilot: heck yeah!!

green-sharpie: shut UP i'm coming

ICanDeweyIt: I knew you couldn't resist the Dewey charm!!

green-sharpie: oh trust me, it's very easy

green-sharpie: it's harder to not resist it

ICanDeweyIt: but you do, because you loooooveeee meeeeee

green-sharpie: ...fine

ICanDeweyIt: 😌👊

Junior-Woodchuck74: DEWEY GET OFF YOUR PHONE YOU'RE ABOUT TO GO IN

PM between 22 and ghostbutler

11:25 pm

22: bitch

ghostbutler: How crass, Bentina. It fits you.

22: bitch

ghostbutler: blocked

22: unblock me

ghostbutler: yes?

22: bitch

~

names (as of the end of the story)

Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74 Dewey: ICanDeweyIt Louie: Lou / green-sharpie* Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl* Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot Beakley: 22 Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash Lena: lenaonme Violet: Violet-Sabrewing Duckworth: ghostbutler Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite Manny: ihaveahead!!! Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb Gladstone: Lucky-Gander Fethry: mutant-krill!!!! Indy: Indy_Sabrewing Ty: purpleisforthegays Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold Penny: moonlander-general

*main

*kicks down door* WE'RE BACK BAYBEE!!!!

I'm really sorry about the wait. I didn't intend for it to be this long. I did have a suspicion I might need more time, especially since the day I was originally supposed to post this was the first day of school and just before that I had just pounded out a pretty major piece of writing in two days, so I was a bit burned out. But I've had low motivation because of school, and I've also been working on a pretty big project - I'm writing the script for a fangan comic on instagram (cerealronpa)! (it was pretty fun working on this story and that at the same time because they have COMPLETELY different moods haha.) It won't be out for a while yet and the premise is pretty different from my usual stuff, but I highly encourage you to check it out when it comes out.

anyway between Cerealronpa and school I definitely have less time and motivation than before, so I might push this back to updating every two weeks instead of weekly, sorry about that. I'm not entirely sure if I'll be able to even stick to that, given how long it took me to get this one out, but I'll do my best! it's a little better now that I've settled into a routine anyway.

for the life of me I could not figure out a good username for Officer Cabrera when I was planning this, so I think the wait turned out well because of Frank's ask! I was writing her introduction and trying to think up one on the fly when I was like oH WAIT- djsdfgfd

a very very big thank you to everyone who replied to my tumblr post or discord message(s) about what pokemon the ducktales characters would have! if you responded to this fic offering to help me with pokemon I haven't forgotten that it's just talking to new people is scary so I chickened out this time sjdfgfdfghgfd i'll get you sometime! But for now this is good. I tried to include every pokemon people gave me so I hope it makes sense! Also a thank you to my friend Moon, who's a very big Pokemon fan but not a Ducktales fan, and who did her best to help me. She won't see this but she deserves a shoutout anyway.

Della and Webby's dynamic is one of my favorites so expect more of it!! I was surprised to realize I hadn't written an PM of them yet so here we go!! There'll definitely be more of it in the future.

also there are lowkey Weblena hints in this one if you squint since I just kind of vibed with it while I was writing, but if Weblena's not your cup of tea don't worry. I love me some good Weblena any day, but the focus of this fic has and always will be family and character dynamics. I'm not sure how it'll play out but I love Webby and Lena's dynamic, romantic or platonic, so just a heads up!

don't pull all-nighters like Gyro unless you really need to, kids. get some sleep, it's good for you!

there's a very small tdp reference and a lot3c reference in here and i'm really curious if anyone will catch them 👀

there's also a very small line that's me just like Gyro trans? Gyro trans. Anyway you can pry trans Gyro out of my cold dead hands please and thank you

I think the "Gyro got banned from Starducks" thing is from a very very old discussion (like 2 years ago dsddfgjaksld) I think it might've been @fangirl530 who brought it up? unsure. but it pops up in my head every now and then and i love it so much

I hope you enjoyed and I'll do my best to update again soon!! Your support, especially comments, but even just the hit count, means the world to me. It makes me really happy to hear people are enjoying this story!! I'm so happy it's as fun for you to read as it is for me to write.

[fueledbysprite]

abandoned wips masterlist

so not too long ago i did an insta poll asking if i should expose all my abandoned fic drafts cause i mean it’s not like theyre ever gonna see the light of day otherwise. i was going to do it when i hit 3k kudos on ao3 and i did so i suppose it has come time for me to expose my mistakes

for obvious reasons, don’t repost these (idk why anyone would lol) but if you really like one of these and want to see it continued, just hit up my ask box and i may or may not consider~

Miscellaneous Fandoms:

Ninjago: Zephyr - a Morro backstory fic bc the hageman bros refuse to feed me more content of my son. barely started it but yknow its there

Miraculous Ladybug/BoBoiBoy: this failed attempt at a fanginette fic bc @secretagentspydetectiveninja got me invested even tho writers block is a binch hahshs

BoBoiBoy:

kokotiam gang angst that reminded me i cannot for the life of me write emotional angst (or any angst for that matter oop)

ramenzo (and kaifang) angst that i churned out on a saturday afternoon on a writing spike instead of doing homework bc I Do Not Control the Writing Juice

au where bbb is a forest guardian(?) and fang just wants away from Society (same fang same) i will probably be yearning for woodland aus till the day i die bc who *doesnt* wanna ditch everything and go live in the middle of the woods amirite?

ramenzo n boifang water fight bc you cant convince me these idiots dont get up to ridiculous shenanigans on their downtime

abandoned draft for the sequel to the og ramenzo fic (dont bother reading it literally nothing happens i swear)

i literally don’t remember where i was going with this i think it was supposed to be fang introspection but idk??

uhh kaifang with ramenzo vibes i think this was gonna be? i genuinely don’t remember anymore oop-

RAMENZO IN QUARANTINE yes this one was regular au (i mean duh) and it’s a shame i never ended up finishing it-

i am actually goboifang t r a s h...until i realized im going to have to make all the food by myself and i never learned to make food :’)) (fr if anyone provides me with any kind of fanon gbf content i will love you forever pls)

this...exists even tho i honestly prefer it didnt but ramenzo is ramenzo n ramen has freckles i will fite u on this (dont read it pls)

if anyone wants ramenzo crumbs (and i mean that quite practically) then feel free to consume the Specks

dont read this pls im begging just dont lets yeet it into the void it doesnt exist~ I Do Not See It

update: i discovered this uhh kaifang post-bora ra incident thing in my other drive

Miraculous Ladybug:

okay forewarning there are wayyyy too many of these so im skipping the ones that are sequels/dependent on other fics for context just to spare myself from having to sort through this mountain

i was planning to participate in chlonath week 2k19 (unfortunately for chlonath nation I Do Not Control the Hyperfixation oop) if you want context then ask

marcnath crumbs thats it thats the doc

oh look allya is self projecting again (writing is still pain) (marcnath)

for the one who requested chloenette with the dialogue prompt i am so sorry

idk why this feels like something ive posted before but then again all lovesquare is the same to me (dead) so who knows im not gonna bother checking hshsh (marichat)

chlonath go to comic con or sth idk chloe is tsundere as always (or would have been anyway if i ever ended up Finishing this)

i *think* this was based on a @terrible-miraculous-ladybug-aus post but heck if i remember now- (lukanette??)

i have absolutely no recollection as to where i was going with this but if anyone finds the concept interesting then by all means go ahead n snatch it- (manon finds the miraculous i guess?)

this is a great. opening. to a chloe fic. that doesnt exist. oof :,)

caline bustier’s home for orphans amirite (i mean she basically already adopted the whole class so)

im genuinely not a fan of the jealous!lover trope but someone in the marcnath server wanted some at one point so i. attempted. and failed but you know thats to be expected at this point :’3

oh look allya is projecting her writing struggles onto marc again is anyone surprised?

theres probably a museum brotp story in here but it doesnt exist and at this point it never will rip

oh good lord not this again i genuinely managed to forget about it for a while until now-

i just read the first line and im already reeling what the heck is this nathanette(??)

WHY IS THERE MARICHAT IN MY WIP FOLDER WHAT

allya stop projecting onto emo weebs challenge failed

i really wanna know where the context for chlonath skiing trip came from i literally have 0 recollection of this at all??

YO I ACTUALLY REMEMBER THE CONTEXT FOR THIS ONE anyway nath n aroace!alix arranged marriage au anyone?? well too bad cause i abandoned it oop-

ahahahahahahaha wdym i wrote 7k of chlonath and then ditched it i would never do that lmao-

i think this was a hunger games au uh

something something marcnath

marcnath angst i guess? *allya pls stop trying to write angst we’ve already established that is not a thing you can do*

something something chlonath

im never gonna forgive @powerdragonmoon for the fact that i thought “beecock” while glancing over this to figure out wth was going on. cholaon works here too tho so that is what i shall call it //sideways glare at moon

take your otp. now put them on a trampoline. but heaven forbid you ever finish the fic- (chlonath if it wasnt obvious)

nathanette doll au from forever ago with @lotus-duckies that was a real concept its a shame i have 0 commitment

i wanna call this lukanathanette but i honestly don’t remember where i was going with it so idk

hi uhm what is this and why is it so depressing allya fr quit self projecting on emo tomatoes oml

chlonath established relationship i guess??

museum brotp go skating?? is that what this is?

how much chlonath do i hAVE also chloe u tsundere

nathaniel is Yearning n tbh i dont blame him cause same (ft. marc)

i could swear this was gonna be luklonath (chlolukanath??) but i wouldnt be able to remember-

if anyone can figure out what’s going on with marc pls tell me bc i dont-

cholaon but theres no context

Oh god im finally done good lord that’s all of em i hope i never have to look at a mlb doc again in my life anyway pls be grateful n enjoy the crumbs n stuff thanks i sacrificed my sanity for this-

[albapuella]

Urges

AO3

Fandom: Homestuck Summary:  When Dave finally gives into his urges, what will Karkat do?

Tags: Meteorstuck, Retcon Timeline, davekat, pov switches galore, present tense CW:  CW: hand holding, hugging, nose kisses Author’s Note:  This is a fic that I wrote in about two hours for the davekat thirst federation server after they were all being Caliborn thirsty on the main. Please note the content tags--if you're up (heh) for all this spiciness, read on. I thought result was worth sharing with the masses. Enjoy!

Dave is walking beside Karkat, glancing out of the corner of his eye at Karkat's dangling hand, the lax fingers calling out to be--

No. No, he couldn't. He shouldn’t. And yet... He tilts his head ever so slightly to see Karkat's hand better. The curve of the fingers. The tips of his yellowed claws. The thick, meaty curve of his gray palm. What would it feel like to--

Dave feels his face go hot.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

"oh yea of course dude but youre still wrong about dane cook"

Karkat rolls his eyes but accepts the answer before launching into another diatribe Dave can't be bothered to listen to when Karkat's hand is dangling so invitingly by his side.

He can't. He shouldn't.

Before he can stop himself, he reaches out for Karkat's hand, the warmth of it beneath his fingers even more wonderful than he'd thought it be. His fingers wrap around Karkat's stiff startled ones; their palms meet.

---

Karkat is walking beside Dave, going into detail about the superiority of the comic stylings of Dane Cook, when he feels another hand grabbing his own. It's so sudden, he hardly knows how to react even as he feels fingers intertwining with his own.

He stops walking. His throat is dry and he swallows hard before turning his head. There's only one person who can be holding his hand, but it's impossible. Dave's not interested in him. Not like *that*.

But he turns and looks. Pale fingers interlaced with his own gray, leading up to an arm clad in red God Tier pajamas. A shoulder connected to a neck. A neck to a face.

At least Dave has the decency to be blushing, too. He doesn't have the decency to actually look in Karkat's direction. Instead, he squeezes Karkat's hand.

"DAVE?"

Dave is silent. Then he turns his head, the smallest hint of a smile curving his thin lips. "sup"

---

Karkat says his name, and it's not a rejection. It's not a rejection, but it's a question. Karkat's face is flushed but confused. He isn't trying to pull his hand free, but he isn't returning the gesture.

Dave is worried now, worried he's pushed too far too quickly. He has to do something. He smiles, trying to ignore the nervous flutters in his chest. "sup"

Karkat scowls. "WHY-WHY ARE YOU HOLDING MY HAND, DIPSHIT?" The stutter tells Dave he's as affected as Dave is, and despite the harshness of the words, he still allows his hand to remain in Dave's grasp.

Dave feels a swell of hope. "it was asking to be held dude i dont make the rules" He shouldn't. He's done too much already. But Karkat's so close now, his yellow and gray eyes wide. Dave can see himself reflected in his dark pupils.

Feeling reckless, Dave uses his free hand to lift up his glasses so he can see Karkat in full light. His eyes are even more beautiful without the dingy, gray haze.

---

Dave pushes his stupid douche shades up, leaving them up in his blonde hair. Karkat isn't certain what is more incredible: that Dave is still still holding his hand or that Dave has willingly, of his own accord, allowed Karkat to see his eyes.

Karkat has seen them before, of course. He's caught glimpses of them from the corner of Dave's shades. Seen flashes of them when they've been knocked askew. But he's never been given the opportunity to really look at them. Certainly, Dave's never let him look.

He's so lost in the moment, he's speaking before he can censor himself. "THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL."

Dave ducks his head, his flush traveling down his neck. He holds Karkat's hand a little tighter. "thank you" he says in an awkward way that tells Karkat Dave doesn't get many compliments. "im gonna get crazy here so hear me out" He takes a deep breath. "can i... can i--" He's turned his body to face Karkat's head on. "i wanna hug you can that happen"

For once in his life, Karkat takes initiative. Before Dave is even quite done speaking, he's closed the space between them, wrapping his free arm around Dave's middle.

Dave makes a startled sound but recovers quickly, and almost too quickly, Dave's arm is wrapped around Karkat's middle, too. Their entwined hands loosen and separate, allowing those arms to join the hug as well.

Karkat smells soap and a hint of sweat. And it's warm, so warm. The only hugs Karkat had ever had, had ever endured, had been cold. He'd never hugged Aradia, but he knows that even her embrace would have been cool. But Dave is warm.

He sighs against the other boy's shoulder, relaxing further into Dave's arms. He feels breath on his cheek; it smells like coffee.

This can't last forever, Karkat knows this. He knows that this experiment of Dave's will end, but he can enjoy it while it lasts.

---

For what feels like the longest time, Dave can only marvel at the fact that Karkat is in his arms. The troll boy is hugging him, pressing against him, as relaxed as Dave has ever seen him be. Dave feels a rush of pride that Karkat trusts him enough for this. He feels a rush of shame that he waited so long to ask for this.

He tightens his hold on Karkat as though that will keep this moment from ending.

His face is close, so close to Karkat's.

Dave has never been good at knowing when to quit. He's never known when to be satisfied. He brings his face that much closer to Karkat's, brings his nose closer to the gray nose.

They touch. Dave moves his head and gently rubs his nose against Karkat's.

---

Karkat doesn't react at first. He's mostly confused about what the fuck Dave is up to. As far as he can tell, Dave is rubbing his nose with his own nose. It's not unpleasant, just unfamiliar. It feels... it feels intimate.

He closes his eyes, wishing Dave would stop, wishing that he wouldn't. What is Dave getting out of this? Is Karkat just convenient or--

There is no or. Dave wanted to do this with someone, and Karkat is someone. That's it. He ducks his head away from Dave's, burying it into his shoulder.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS WITH ME?"

Dave stills. Then he says, "i want to man thought i was making that pretty obvious" He chuckles, his chin pressing into Karkat's own shoulder. "karkat youre pretty baller you know"

He'd never thought Dave would be so good at acting.

---

Dave isn't expecting it when Karkat pushes away from him with a rough shove. "karkat--?"

Karkat's mouth is twisted into a vicious snarl even as his eyes fill with ruddy tears. "FUCK YOU, DAVE." He wipes the tears away with trembling fists. "IF YOU'RE GOING TO USE ME, AT LEAST DO ME THE FUCKING COURTESY OF NOT LYING TO MY FACE ABOUT IT."

"what" Dave is utterly lost.

"DON'T 'what' ME, ASSHOLE." He crosses his arms, the anger on his face crumbling into a hurt that stabs Dave in the gut. "I ONLY HAVE A PASSING UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT 'BALLER' MEANS, BUT I KNOW YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN ME. SO, DO ME A FAVOR, AND STOP PRETENDING YOU ARE."

Dave has spent enough time with Karkat to tell when he's about to bolt, and Dave can't let him go until he clears this up. He grabs Karkat's hand again. "dude karkat listen to me im not lying" To his relief, Karkat doesn't pull his hand away. To his worry, Karkat folds in on himself, his head bowing and his shoulders slumping.

"I'M PAN ADDLED ENOUGH TO LET YOU TAKE WHAT YOU WANT," Karkat says, sounding defeated. "JUST DON'T PRETEND YOU ACTUALLY LIKE ME. I DON'T THINK IT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK."

---

Karkat can't look at Dave now, too embarrassed, too desperate. He should have just kept his mouth shut for once. Should have just enjoyed what little scraps Dave was willing to throw him. Dave is still holding his hand.

"i want you to listen to me" Dave is saying, his voice soft. His other hand strokes the top of Karkat's knuckles as he speaks. "im not using you thats hella gross and id be all kinds of insulted that youd think that but i dont want to make this about me when its about you" Karkat hears him take a deep breath. "im gonna lay it on the line ok i like like you a lot."

"YOU LIKE LIKE ME?" Karkat hates himself for the hope in his voice. He's not entirely certain what "like like"ing means, but he's gathered it's more than being hate-friends. Yes, he and Dave have been getting along better, but he knows Dave only tolerates him because they're both lonely. That's all.

"yea like we're peak middle school up in here passing notes to each other," Dave is clearly gearing up for a ramble, and Karkat smiles despite himself, "do you like me or like like me but weve got to keep it on the downlow so the teacher doesnt notice and find our note because our reps will never survive if she reads it to the class and she will because thats how teachers roll"

"I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE CLUSTERFUCK YOU HUMANS CALL AN EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM," Karkat says and, for a moment, it's like nothing's changed. Then reality falls in again. "YOU MEAN THAT?" He is such an idiot. Such a fucking idiot.

---

The way Karkat asks Dave if he means what he says is almost enough to break him. If he weren't such a stone cold bad-ass, he's certain he'd be bawling now, too. Even so, he wishes he could put his shades back down without Karkat thinking he's hiding his eyes so he can lie better.

"yea dog i mean it i dont lie about important shit."

Karkat has always been an open book, emotions-wise. It'd probably be more helpful if Dave were better at emotions himself, but he can see that Karkat wants to believe him. It's something. "we dont gotta do anything different if you dont want im chill just hanging with you," he says, hoping against hope it doesn't come to that: he wants to hug Karkat again, and he hopes the troll boy will let him. "but i want to... i want to hug you because youre you youre like special ok"

A disbelieving huff. "YOU THINK I'M SPECIAL."

Dave nods. "karkat vantas is totally one of a kind" Well, that just isn't true, is it? "i mean there are a fuck ton of you out there in the dream bubbles but i meant more like metaphorically in that this version of you is the you im interested in hugging and stuff"

---

Karkat almost can't believe how charmed he is by this idiot. Almost. Maybe Dave is lying, but maybe Karkat isn't being fair. The more he thinks about it, the more he thinks maybe that's true. Considering what he was accusing Dave of wanting to do, he's fairly floored that the human boy still wants anything to do with him.

He looks down at his hand still held between both of Dave's. Then he looks up at Dave's face, at his still uncovered eyes, and makes a decision. "OKAY."

Dave blinks. "ok" The corner of his mouth quirks upwards. "ok"

Karkat rolls his eyes. "YES, THAT'S WHAT I SAID. I'M GLAD THAT YOUR AURAL CLOTS ARE STILL FULLY FUNCTIONAL."

"you have got the weirdest names for things you know that just say ears its so much shorter"

Before he can come up with a suitably scathing remark, he's being hugged again.

Oh.

He sighs and returns the hug. He could get used to this. He thinks he already is.

FIN

End Note:  Sorry. I could not add in the kissing--it was just too lewd.

[soupncrackwrs]

Okay so I had an idea for an AFTG fic but again I’m horrible at anything that isn’t hc’s so here we are (feel free to make this into a fic if you want just credit me) *Also all pairing in this are platonic besides andreil and mattdan soo, don’t like get out*

This spawned from that fact that one of my 3 PTP’s (platonic trust pairing) in AFTG is Kev and Neil

This is probably my PTP that has the most popularity in the fandom I’d say (my other 2 are Renee/Andrew/Neil and Neil/Dan which are both *really* hard to find ((at least on ao3)) so that sucks) but you’d be surprised how little it gets like actually focused on

Most times, platonic wise, Neil gets shown bonding with The MonstersTM, Allison, or Matt

wHICH IS FINE IM TOTALLY OKAY W/ THAT

I just happen to enjoy neil/dan, kev/neil,and renee/andrew/neil more

So I wanted a fic that really showcased kev and neils relationship

BUT IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH OUSIDER POV SO THIS HAPPENED

Now onto the actual headcanon

So neil and kevin are like best friends

They've been like that for a while

but they also like fucking despise each other

like they love and care deeply for each other and would probably die for the other if the situation called for it

but will that stop them from almost killing each other 24/7?

HELL NO

so they go to college together

along with all the upperclassmen (so matt+dan+allison+renee+seth) but not the monsters

andrew and neil have been together for a bit

they met around the same time kev and neil did so they've been together for a while (also while we're talking abt relationships, i don't ship renison ((am i the only one who believes that renee is a strong aro gal who don't need no man/lady/person)) but if you wanna make this renison, go ahead)

andrew goes to a different college tho ( for some reason i dunno)

and neil doesn't really like sharing stuff abt his personal life

we all know this

but a lot of the stuff he's done in his life involves andrew

so drew is brought up a fair amount

but when the upperclassmen ask who he is neil kinda just smiles and then moves on so they ask kevin and he's like

oh andrew is like one of my bffls he's a ride or die

(obviously not phrased like that)

and the upperclassmen r like 'ok he can be trusted he's a friend'

(little do they know hehhehhe-)

sO ONE DAY

kev is tryna forget all his issues

so he decides to get hella pissed

wasted like he's never been b4

probably cause thea broke up w/ him last week but we don't talk abt that okay shhhhhhh

so he goes to the next party alli throws and

let's say it together kids

gets wasted like he's never been b4

to the point where the upperclassmen don't really know wht to do with him????

so they call up neil like yo pick up kev he's drunk off his ass like always but we think he's doing it cause he's sad this time'

so neil, being the good and sweet angel (not) that he is

goes to pick up kevin

and like he finds him on a coach almost catatonic just rambling to himself

so neil picks him up and drags him away to his car

and ofc all the upperclassmen r trying to help

so while neil is putting kevin into his car kev randomly just stops talking

(which is weird cause he's kept rambling this entire time)

and he looks neil in the eyes and goes

'i love you neil'

and neil just like takes a second

pAuSeS

because he's not used to people showing him love even tho so many ppl rlly do love him (this boy is2g-)

and then quietly says

'love you too kev'

and finishes buckling him up

all the upperclassmen have been watching this going on the entire time and they read into in the exact wrong way

(they're trying their best, my baby dumbasses, but they're just wrong)

and think this is a romantic love confession between frenimies *instead* of the declaration of mutual respect and affection between 2 bro's that it is

matt is the first one to voice this after kev and neil leave and he is

PUMPED

he is super excited that his bro has found someone to love just like he found dan and is super excited to like talk abt love and go on double dates n stuff

and every one else agrees

which is why they're all super disappointed that by the time a week goes by, nothing has changed between them

so dan matt and allison decide to do something about it (renee+seth ducking out because'it's rude to meddle' and 'why tf would i care abt jostens love bullshit')

they try to set up kevin and neil a bunch of different time s

once with the offer of a study session that they all say they can't make it to, leaving neil and kevin alone

another time with the offer of kevin and neil going to the movies w/ matt and dan

(neil ends up busy w/ a skype date with andrew that he can't pass up cause they're always so busy and he has to see his boyf so kevin just ends up 3rd wheeling matt and dan)

and once with allison straight up just telling neil that he and kevin should get coffee some time

which neil respond to with

'we already get coffee together?'

so dan matt and alli are stumped

they don't know what to do with these 'lovesick' idiots

they're problem gets solved tho don't you worry

so the next weekend, andrew is gonna come over to psu and stay for like a week

neil is oVER THE MOON

HE IS SOO HAPPYYYYY

And kevin is really happy too

so the upperclassmen take this to mean that these boys have finally gotten the hint and asked each other out

so imagine they're suprise when the next time the group goes to get lunch (which they do with each other every wednesday )

a super short blond emo joins them

and no one really acknowledges it?!?!?!?!?!?

until renee is just like 'hello andrew, how are you?' knowing smile on her face

and the upperclassmen are just like 'oh it's the famous andrew, that makes sense' but then they're like 'wait how does renee know andrew?!?!'

they ask and renee is just like 'neil gave me his discord. he thought we'd get along well'

-and then they're just like okayyy renee totally has a crush but well let it slideee

uNTIL

at the end of lunch neil is just like 'oh wait i never properly introduced him-' -cause you're a mess, junkie' -fuck off andrew' then just turns to the upperclassmen and says

'guys this is my boyfriend andrew'

and the foxes just silently freak out

because neil is in love with kevin? it's so clear? why did neil go and get a boyf when he has his love right in front of him??????

so after lunch, matt dan and alli ask to talk to neil privately

(andrew, kev,and renee all talk together while seth like, looks at his phone)

and they're like 'neil why'd you get a boyf??'

and neils like 'wdym?'

and alli says 'why'd you get a boyf if your so obviously in love w/ kevin?!'

and neil just LAUGHS at them

straight up cackles

and then the upperclassmen are like whaaaaattttt????

we saw your declaration of love at the party??

and you're both really close and seem to genuinely like and be interested in each other??

what gives????

and neils like

'me n kev are besties

that was a platonic declaration of love

also

i'm demi and me and drew have been together for like 3 years now'

and the upperclassmen are just like 'ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh sorryyyyyyyyy'

it's the first time alli has ever lost a bet (it was w/ seth abt neils feelings for kevin)

neil tells andrew abt it and the shortie just snorts and is like 'kevin would fuck a racket quicker than he'd fuck you'

neil is like 'i'm basically exy personified tho, soooooo'

drew tells him to shut up

(he does when andrew asks yes or no, just nods his head and smiles)

renee knew all along and is happy for her friends

kevin just wants to play exy he's been deprived the entire post

So yeah that's the entire headcanon. If you want some music to listen to while you write or just in general i recommend "I lost a Friend" by FINNEAS and "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County. they don't really have anything to do with the story, they're just real good :) Thanks for reading. see y'all later



[dabiapologist]

[My Hero Academia Fanfiction]: Fever Dream, Chapter 2

Pairing: Dabihawks, hawksdabi, hotwings, spicywings

Characters: Dabi (My Hero Academia), Hawks (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Usagiyama Rumi | Miruko, Toga Himiko

Rated T

Word Count: 3.4k

Chapter 2/3(?)

Tags: i've always wanted to write a sick fic, Don't Judge Me, Sick Fic, Fluff, bratty dabi is my favorite dabi, chock full of cliched tropes, and im not sorry, tfw you catch feelings for your annoying villain liaison

Summary:

"Endeavor-san? Quick question."

"What is it? I'm busy right now."

"How do you know if you're sick?"

"...excuse me?"

"Like, how do you know if you're running a fever? Do you even get fevers?"

"Why?"

"Uh, um, just curious?"

On the other end, he hears Endeavor sigh in annoyance. "Of all the things, Hawks, Why would you be curious about that?"

"Well," Hawks chews his lip anxiously as he turns to look back over his shoulder, back at the sizzling bundle of blankets on his couch.

Sizzling.

Oh. That's probably not a good sign.

// Chapter 1: In Good Conscience // 

Read it on || AO3

                                                Chapter 2: Sick Day

It is way too quiet right now.

That is Hawks’ first conscious thought when he wakes up. The fact that he even managed to squirrel away a few hours of uninterrupted rest is already worrying in and of itself, though he’s not ungrateful for it. It’s been ages since he got a good night’s rest. Or any rest, for that matter.

Hawks’ eyes crack open and he bolts upright in bed, fully awake and immediately on his guard, still wearing his hero costume and even his boots. Though at the moment, he is glad for that, as the double doors that lead out to his balcony are still propped open, allowing the freezing morning air to filter in unencumbered into his bedroom.

He walks over and gently closes them, shivering when one final draft enters through the tiny slit in the door before he brings them together.

And now, with the doors closed tight and the noise of the city traffic below effectively blocked out and silenced, the silence throughout Hawks’ apartment is even more pronounced. And eerie.

Knowing who is sleeping just over in the next room, Hawks wasn’t sure what to expect come morning, but it definitely wasn’t this unnerving quiet.

“He’s probably still out cold,” Hawks jokes to himself, somewhat anxiously. Fuck. Thinking back on it, he did headbutt Dabi kind of hard. And for all of his attitude and apathy and hair-trigger pyromania, Dabi really isn’t all that hardy of a person, physically speaking.

Hawks makes a worried noise as he feels the small but painful bump on his own forehead. Crap. Hope I didn’t give him a concussion.

He quickly sheds his hero costume, still somewhat damp and vaguely weird-smelling from the heavy rains last night and changes into a long sleeved thermal shirt and sweats. He lets out a pleased sound as he feels some warmth immediately start to seep back into his frame.

“I wonder if he’s really still out,” He wonders out loud as he leaves the room, cracking a grin,“I bet I could just lay on him for a few minutes and not be cold anymore.”

He promptly shuts up, however, when he sees that the door to his guest bedroom is cracked open slightly. Last night was a blur, for sure, but Hawks is certain that he did close the door after depositing Dabi’s lifeless husk onto the bed and tossing a bunch of blankets over him. He looks down the hall, to the bathroom. The door is open and the light is off. He’s not there, either.

Hawks turns his attention back to the guest room, listening for any sign of the villain. Nothing.  

“Dabi?” He whispers into the thin crack in the door, “You up?”

His voice rises an octave. “You alive?”

No answer.  

“Yo!” He calls a bit louder, gently pushing the door open with a finger. “Dabi, are y- uh…”

Nervous quickly turns to annoyed. “...What the fresh fuck…” Hawks scoffs as he takes in the state of the room. The lamp and nightstand are both overturned on the floor, and the glass of water and medicine he had so kindly set out for Dabi are also on the floor, though thankfully at least the medicine is still capped and unopened. One of the fancy carved spires of the headboard has been somehow knocked clean off and is sitting next to his foot. How the hell Dabi even managed to do that, or why, is beyond Hawks. 

Also, and most notably, there is a giant burn spot in the middle of his very nice, very expensive guest mattress. Hawks’ eye starts to twitch. That mattress was almost a hundred and twenty-five thousand yen.

But amidst the surprisingly not on fire wreckage that was once his expertly decorated guest room, Dabi himself is nowhere to be found. And for that matter, neither is any of Hawks’ bedding.

Hawks blinks once. Twice.

“Did this motherfucker really just make off with all my blankets?”He asks himself, shaking his head, trying to wrap his brain around the idea, and failing. Unbelievable. “What a dick. This is what I get for trying to be nice. ”

He grumbles loudly, combing his fingers through his hair as he leaves the room. Well, Dabi was never one to show any type of consideration or respect for anyone, let alone any understanding of basic social etiquette. Hawks supposes he really shouldn’t be surprised, in that respect. It’s not like Dabi would suddenly become a considerate person just because he was sick.

But still. Did he really have to run off with all of Hawks’ extra sheets? Where the hell would he even put any of it?

Actually, he takes it back. He’s seen the state of Dabi’s so called apartment building. It’s basically condemned, and barely has power. Yeah, he figures, Dabi probably needs all those extra sheets way more than he does.

Feeling a headache coming on, Hawks decides to wash his hands of the whole situation. Dabi’s gone, so it’s no longer his concern. “Whatever, I tried. I guess it’s not my problem anymore, then.” He mutters to himself.  

He stops in the bathroom and goes about his morning routine, pushing all thought of the night before from his mind, instead focusing on what he’s going to busy himself with today. His days off are few and very, very, very far between, by his design mostly, and only really happen when his sidekicks gang up on him and bully him into taking a day off before he burns out.

He knows deep down that they’re right, but fuck. That doesn’t make it any less boring.

With a wide yawn, he leaves the bathroom, scratching under his shirt as he ambles towards the kitchen. “I guess I could just get some takeout, and catch up on that sh-fwwwahh!”

Thankfully, he lives alone, so there is no one around to hear the loud, undignified squawk Hawks lets out when he trips over something on the floor and falls face-first onto the carpeted floor.

God, if his sidekicks could’ve seen that.

Hawks knows he isn’t the most graceful creature in the morning, but he’s not messy either. Wondering just what the hell it was he tripped over, he sits up on his knees and looks back.

A black boot.

A very familiar black boot.

“Uh…”

Hawks rises to his feet, still staring down at it, puzzled. “He left without one of his shoes. Okay.”

Now mulling that over, unsure of whether he’s amused by it or not, Hawks continues on his way to the kitchen.

And it’s not long before he stumbles across the other boot. The other boot, plus Dabi’s overcoat and belt, seem to make a beeline across his carpet, past the kitchen into the living room.

Feeling a distinct heaviness beginning to weigh in his belly, Hawks pads curiously along the fabric trail, following the haphazardly discarded garments out into his living room. There he finds Dabi’s pants, sitting on the steps that lead down to the entertainment room.

Hawks’ eyebrows rise at that.

“He’s not wearing pants…?” Hawks asks aloud, hands on his hips. What the actual fuck is happening right now?

He never took Dabi for that kind of guy, yet here he is, staring down at Dabi’s dingy and ill-fitting pants, lying in a heap on the floor. Curiously, he toes at them, and Dabi’s box of cigarettes slides out of one of the pockets. The burner phone he uses to contact Hawks is already sitting some feet away, face down and probably cracked.

The window shades are all down, casting a somber but peaceful grey over the room, and, Hawks notices, the TV is on but both dimmed to the darkest setting and the volume is very low.

“Huh.”

He walks over and tugs on one of the shades, allowing some sunlight into the room.

“Close it,” A new, albeit familiar voice suddenly groans from somewhere behind him, nearly startling Hawks out of his own skin. Hawks could slap himself. He really needs his morning red bull, he thinks, because this is just shameful. Even with his quirk, he didn’t feel another presence in the room. He either needs an energy drink or he needs to go back to sleep for another twelve hours.

Slowly pulling the shade back down, Hawks chances a glance over his shoulder, looking in the direction of the couch. He already has a feeling he knows what he’s going to find. And sure enough, tucked in the L of the couch, with all of Hawks’ missing bedding piled on top of him in a giant nest of fabric, is Dabi. Although at the moment, the only way Hawks knows that it’s Dabi is by his voice, albeit much lower and more hoarse than normal, and by the familiar shock of black hair poking out from the bottom of the mound. The visible portion of his face is partially burrowed into one of the couch throw pillows. Hawks can just make out one bleary blue eye, glaring at him.  

“Close it,” Dabi mumbles again.

“I did.”

“Close it!”

“I di-- It is closed!” Hawks says loudly, pointedly motioning to the closed shade. But Dabi is already groaning exaggeratedly as he rolls over under his blanket pile, facing his back to Hawks and curling more into himself.

Hawks exhales loudly.

Oh, boy.

Briefly taking in the scene, if it were anyone else... it could almost be called cute. Like a little kid staying home from school, Dabi is all bundled up and watching infomercials on TV until the good stuff comes on. All he needs is a bowl of soup and a nice, nerdy set of pajamas.

There is a faint sense of nostalgia in it, too. Hawks used to do the same thing when he was small. Hell, he still does it now, as an adult, on those rare instances where the planets align perfectly and he allows himself to acknowledge that he’s feeling under the weather.

Although to be honest, he’s not exactly sure how he feels about having that in common with Dabi, of all people. They’re more alike than he is comfortable admitting; pushing through whatever is in their path, stubbornly trudging forward until they either overcome it by sheer willpower alone or they are overtaken by it. They’re a lot alike, he discovers more and more everyday, and it irks him.

Still, despite his feelings towards the other man, there is a weird sort of… something, to it, seeing a more vulnerable side of Mr. Big Bad Blue Fire, something that Hawks can’t quite put into words. But it’s intriguing; the man behind the villain, demystified somewhat. Under the scars and the smug attitude and flames, Dabi is still a human being, he supposes.

A human being that is still simpering and whining, even though the fucking shade is down.  

Risking Dabi’s temper in this unpredictable state, he walks over and clambers up onto the couch too, perching himself on the back of the couch with his wings draped neatly behind him.

He stares down at Dabi for a beat, shaking his head before saying, “You’re not looking too hot there, cupcake,” as he brings his legs up to his chest, balancing perfectly on the back of the couch.

He waits for a second. And then another, and then another. A full minute passes with no movement.

Hawks frowns.

Oof. No reaction to the ‘cupcake’. At all. Dabi hates nicknames, especially the purposely cutesy and condescending ones Hawks likes to give him when he feels like picking a fight. And right now, he is most definitely picking a fight, if only to get Dabi out of whatever sickness haze he’s in and to start acting more like himself.

Then at least Hawks would feel a little better, knowing it’s not really anything serious.

But Dabi doesn’t even move, let alone do what Hawks was fully hoping he’d do, which was jump up from the couch in a huffy ball of blue fire and expletives, challenging him to call him that again.

That’s not good.

They remain like that for a long while; Dabi lying down, possibly asleep, and Hawks staring down at him while twiddling his thumbs, wondering where the hell he goes from here.

He has a sick villain in his apartment. A sick, very dangerous, very wanted villain. A high-ranking member of the organization in which it is his mission to infiltrate and bring down from the inside.

Hawks cradles his head in hand, unpacking all of that in his mind. Yeah, there is a slight chance that, maybe, he did not think this through quite as much as he should have.

“I’m gonna go make some coffee,” He says out loud, more to himself than to Dabi, who he is sure probably didn’t even hear him. He doesn't even really like coffee, but he just needs something pointless and mechanical to focus on for a few minutes, so he can sort this ordeal out in his head.

This is fine, he thinks as he rips open the package of coffee grounds, this is okay. So far, it doesn’t seem like he’s gonna make a scene or anything. Hopefully, he’ll just lie on the couch all day in a borderline coma, and if he’s conscious by tonight, I can maybe sneak him out. Of course, I'll need to blindfold him or something, so he doesn’t know where I live… fuck. I didn’t even think of that.

Hawks freezes, mid-scoop. How the hell had that not occurred to him before? That bringing Dabi up to his apartment would mean letting the villain know where he lived, giving him and the League an extra advantage over him?

Last night he had been so focused on not leaving Dabi half-dead on the street, that he didn’t think of the consequences his little act of kindness could bring for him in the immediate future. And just now, he had been so focused on finding Dabi that he didn't realize that the other man trashing his guest room and passing out on his couch instead was actually the best possible case scenario he could have hoped for in this situation. The last thing he needs, he realizes in a cold sweat, is Dabi, whose face is extremely recognizable, wandering around his apartment building, deliriously sick and liable to cause all sorts of mayhem.  

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” He chants to himself. But what if he was up at night when I was asleep, checking out the surroundings? He continues setting the coffee maker to boil.

Hawks looks back over his shoulder, out over the island and into the living room, where the top of Dabi’s blanket mound is just barely visible.

Then again, he’s so out of it right now, and was last night, too. I mean, I can’t imagine another reason he’d trash the guest room, other than he woke up and was disoriented and freaked out.

“Nah, he couldn't have. Not in his condition.”

He barely made it to the living room, let alone outside or to the windows. Surveillance is the last thing on his mind, right now. Hawks stares at the coffee as it drip, drip, drips down into the coffee pot, condensation beginning to form on the outside from the heat. It’s weirdly calming.

Hawks sighs to himself.

Well, I guess it’s too late to worry about that now. What’s done is done. For now, I just have to figure out how to work this situation to my advantage.

Hawks ceases his mental calculating when he feels a certain vibration ripple through his smaller feathers, along with the near silent rustle of fabric along the kitchen's tiles behind him. At least this time, Dabi doesn’t surprise him. Although, he has to admit, how Dabi manages to move so quietly even while sick to point of delirium is quite impressive.

“Is it ready yet?” He hears the other man ask over his shoulder.

“You were awake?”

“Mmn. Barely.”

Hawks turns, and almost can’t believe his eyes.

Wow.

Dabi, to be blunt, looks like a straight up corpse that was freshly rolled out of a grave. His eyes are glassy and squinted somewhat, sensitive to the light in the kitchen, and his skin, the parts that aren’t scarred and unhealthy, are so pale he looks almost otherworldly. Save for his nose, which is a little pink around the nostrils. And, just like last night, he still seems unsteady on his feet; there is a noticeable side to side sway as Dabi stands there, eyes unfocused.

Still, Hawks can’t fight the smile that is creeping onto his face. When he first met Dabi, never did he imagine that one day in the near future, that same smug, lying bastard face would be in his kitchen, staring back at him while cocooned in what Hawks is sure is no less than ten different blankets and bed sheets. Currently, the entire bottom half of Dabi’s face is covered, allowing Hawks to only really see him from the nose up.

“Are you cold?”

“Yeah.”

Hawks snorts to himself as he turns back to the coffee pot, shutting it off after it chimes. “I didn’t even think you got cold.”

“When I’m sick, I do.” Dabi says, without much fanfare. Huh. It’s a little unnerving, Dabi giving straight answers, for once. He’s certainly being a lot more forthcoming than last night, that’s for sure.

Ah, the straightforwardness that comes with realization and the cessation of denial.

“Is it ready?” Dabi asks, already reaching for the coffee pot.

“Yeah, it’s rea- Hey! What the fuck are you doing, you lunatic?!”

Hawks quickly but carefully wrestles the still scalding hot coffee pot out of Dabi’s bare hands, managing to catch him just seconds before he upends the open pot over his face and into his mouth.

“I’m cold,” Dabi moans, glaring at him. Hawks glares back in disbelief.

“Okay, can I put the shit in a cup first? God!” Still holding the coffee pot tightly by the handle, Hawks shoves past Dabi to get to the cupboard and pulls out two mugs.

“This ain’t Game of Thrones, you fucking jackass,” Hawks snaps as he pours the coffee out into the mugs, “You're not a dragon. And you don't need anymore third degree burns.”

Dabi mumbles something rude but thankfully unintelligible as he lumbers closer, still keeping a tight grip on the blankets around him.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” He mutters as he bumps Hawks out of his way, “Move. I want coffee.”

He swipes one of the mugs before Hawks can even protest --that was his mug-- and does exactly what he had intended to do before: he chugs the piping hot liquid so fast he upends the mug over his face, eyes rolling shut blissfully. He doesn’t even stop to breathe.

Hawks watches the scene with saucer-wide eyes, and silently accepts the empty mug back when Dabi hands it to him some ten odd seconds later, a sated little grin on his face.

“I… stand corrected…” Hawks says in shock. Did he even feel that? Hawks has so many questions. But right now, he only settles for a few. “You good now?”

“Mm, yeah.”

“Are you still cold?”

“M’no.”

Hawks slowly raises a finger and points over to the couch. “Will you go back to sleep now?”

Dabi follows his finger. “Mm-hm,” He mumbles before he abruptly turns and ambles out of the kitchen. Hawks watches him go, not quite believing how easy of an interaction that was. Dabi and easy are two words that don’t belong in the same sentence. Ever.

He watches him go until he sees Dabi tumble face first down onto the couch. Hawks listens for a few seconds, to the rustle of sheets and blankets and Dabi’s little muttered curses as he makes himself comfortable in his blanket nest again.

When he finally settles down, Hawks lets out a loud exhale, allowing himself to take a sip of his now warm coffee.

He doesn’t like coffee all that much, but still, he already recognizes this as a rare moment of peace; one of the few, if any, he’s going to get today, so he takes advantage of it.

Halfway through the cup, he hears Dabi groaning from the living room and rolls his eyes. Rare, and so very, very brief.

He sets the cup down on the counter loudly.

What now?  

That, he realizes as he walks out the living room, is not a question he really wanted an answer to.

[bastardnev]

That Guy Next Door

im finally fuckin posting this dad au fic im losing it, i meant to post this earlier but tumblr kept glitching so!!! here it is!!

anyways as i’ve said a few times already, this fic will be updating on a weekly basis, which means that there’s gonna be one new chapter every friday until all of them have been uploaded. i hope you all enjoy this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it!!

link to ao3

tagging: @tylerblacks @joonhobi @rivela @aliciasfox @sailor-slam-dunk @kidvoodoo @smolsammich  @simulated-heat @douglas-leon-michael (lemme kno if you wanna be added to my tag list!!)

Chapters: 1/16 Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mustafa Ali/Pac | Adrian Neville, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added Characters: Mustafa Ali, Pac | Adrian Neville, Wade Barrett, Original Child Character(s), Other Character Tags to Be Added Additional Tags: Rating will go up, wink wonk, Parenthood, Single Parents, Post-Divorce, Alternate Universe - Parents, god for a sec i didn't think there was a parent au tag on here and i was gonna be so confused, First Meetings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

"yo" "do me a favor when you get home" "i can see there’s someone new moving in next door" "introduce all of us to him plz n thx"

Single parent Neville was convinced that he would never find love again following his divorce. Little did he realize just how much these four texts from Wade would change his life.

The more that time passed, the more it seemed like Neville was never going to be able to escape this stupid little office.

He was never going to get away from his desk. From his computer. From his phone that never seemed to want to stop ringing for thirty goddamn seconds. From the sounds of his co-workers typing away on their own keyboards. From his boss who almost always seemed to have some new, pointless assignment for him to complete whenever he passed by his cubicle. Such were the woes of working for such a big company…

He told himself that this job was only temporary. Every day he would remind himself that he was only going to be there until he was back on his feet following his divorce. As difficult as this was, it wasn’t going to last forever.

But then a time where he was financially secure enough to start looking for a different job arose, and Neville didn’t jump on the opportunity to leave. He had wanted to stick around for awhile longer to make sure he had completed everything, so that the poor bastard who took this secretary -- no, administrative assistant -- position after him wouldn’t be swamped with missed deadlines and unfinished projects. He didn’t mind staying for a few more days.

Those days turned to weeks. Those weeks turned to months. Those months turned to years.

It had been almost three fucking years since he had the chance to quit, and yet there Neville was, still typing out emails and arranging appointments for higher-ups who couldn’t give any less of a shit about him if they tried.

Sometimes he would stop while in the middle of working, staring intently at his mouse cursor, debating just walking out and leaving this hell behind and never looking back. No one appreciated him. It would make more sense to go elsewhere, wouldn’t it? Where he wouldn’t have to work unnecessarily long hours just to earn a decent pay? Where a boss would actually seem grateful for the work that he puts in?

It was as he would have these thoughts, however, that he would catch sight of the pictures resting next to his computer monitor -- those of two little girls, smiling at the camera and looking so full of life.

His little girls.

The older one was Jennifer, though she was only ever called that when she was in serious trouble (which wasn’t often, now that Neville thought about it) -- otherwise, she was simply known as Jen. She was definitely more like her mother, from having the same light brown hair to the same headstrong personality. Though she was only nine, she was incredibly independent -- almost too independent, however, as she was often too stubborn to ask for help when she was in tough situations.

Then there was Daisy -- ‘Daddy’s favorite,’ as she claimed whenever Neville would do something nice for her (even if he had also done the same thing for Jen). She was six, and even at such a young age she was already showing signs of being just like her father. That is to say, she was becoming a bit of a smartass. True to the little sibling stereotype, she essentially lived to spite Jen, always making sure to say whatever it was she least wanted to hear just so that she could appreciate her over-the-top reactions.

These two lovely children were depending on him. Neville couldn’t quit and risk losing out on money when he knows that they’re counting on him to take care of them.

With that thought in mind, he continued typing.

 If he was lucky, then Neville’s drive from the office back to his home was relatively short, the traffic scarce despite it technically being rush hour.

Unfortunately, that day was not his lucky day.

Despite never actually having met the driver of the minivan that he was stuck behind, Neville felt like he was deeply familiar with their personal life, considering the amount of bullshit on the back of it. There was a stick figure family decal on the back window -- a father, a mother, two little boys, and one little girl. Down on the bumper there were multiple stickers proudly announcing to the world that there were two honors students in the family. What about the third kid? Neville found himself thinking, fingers tapping impatiently on the steering wheel. Are they not good enough for a sticker?

His phone vibrated in the cup holder next to him, and he glanced down at it for a moment before focusing back on the road, pulling up a little once the traffic started to move. He heard the phone vibrate a second time. A third time. By the time the fourth vibration occurred, Neville looked back down at the device and took it in his hands, wondering just what in the hell was so urgent that it required sending that many messages.

Then again, considering that the only person who ever texted him nowadays was Wade, there was no way it was actually anything of substance.

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: yo

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: do me a favor when you get home

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: i can see there’s someone new moving in next door

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: introduce all of us to him plz n thx

Typical. Wade was once again trying to get Neville to do something for him. It seemed like all that Wade had done since moving into the downstairs apartment in Neville’s house was try to butter him up for something. That man truly has not changed since college…

Though Neville ribbed Wade for his tactics, even going as far as to jokingly refer to him as a freeloader in his phone, the truth was that he didn't have any negative feelings towards him at all. In fact, he was actually incredibly grateful for him. Wade had been employed when he moved into Neville’s home after his divorce, but he’d been laid off not too long after, and he’d had no success finding a job ever since. It seemed like every time things were looking up for him and he might have found something other than the occasional odd job, the position was always given to someone else, and as such he was never able to pay his share of that month’s rent.

He was always willing to babysit whenever Neville needed him to, however -- which was fairly often, seeing as his job sometimes required that he stay late at the office. Had it not been for him, Neville would have had to worry about paying a sitter on top of all of the bills and everything else. Difficult as things may be, he was glad to have a close friend like Wade.

Someone actually bought that house, though? Neville thought. It’s been on the market for ages. He could only vaguely remember the small family that used to live there before they abruptly moved because of the father’s job. Though the last thing that Neville wanted to do was give Wade what he wanted, he had to admit that he was just as curious as he was about this new neighbor…

 Me: And why should I do that? Can’t you go over there yourself?

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: your texting while you’re supposed to be driving??

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: dangerous

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: tsk tsk

Me: *you’re

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: SHUT UP

Me: Also I’m in traffic, asshole. Now tell me why you can’t do it yourself?

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: because i just woke up from a nap and have a killer headache and am in no mood to actually socialize

Me: What makes you think I’M in the mood to socialize? I just had a long day at work.

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: because you’re the cuter one between the two of us and it would be better if he saw your pretty face instead of mine

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: you could win over anyone with those eyes of yours

 It was at that moment that Neville placed his phone back down in the cup holder -- partially because the traffic was beginning to move and he needed to start driving again, though mainly because he’d read enough. Wade always tried to compliment him whenever he was too lazy to do something for himself, and Neville was ashamed to admit that this strategy worked more often than not.

This time was going to be different, however. After a long day of typing away at his desk and going straight into bumper-to-bumper traffic, it was going to take a lot more than some sweet talking to get him to introduce himself to a total stranger.

Neville finally pulled into his driveway about fifteen minutes later, turning the car off and leaning back against the seat with a sigh. Somewhere along the way it had started raining, the droplets of rain tapping rhythmically against the windshield. He loved the rain -- that is, when he didn’t actually have to go walking through it. It was a short walk from the car to the front door. Even so, he was not looking forward to getting wet…

As he gathered his bearings, he took a quick look out of the passenger side window, and he noticed that there was a light on inside of the house next door, and there was an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway. So Wade was telling the truth when he said that there was a new neighbor. Wonder what their story is.

The neighborhood that Neville lived in wasn’t bad by any means, but he didn’t think that it was an area that anybody would want to willingly move into. Most of the residents tended to keep to themselves, the extent of their interactions with one another being a quick ‘hello’ and nothing more. Wouldn’t someone looking for a place to start their new life look for someplace more interesting? Whoever this new person was must have had no other options.

...Then again, it wasn’t like Neville really cared about what this new person thought. He had more important things to worry about then whatever was going on in their mind.

Neville resigned himself to his damp fate and exited the car, making sure to lock it before trekking through the rain and up the front stops until he reached the door. Despite it being closed, he could hear what sounded like a commotion inside -- just what he needed after the day he’d had. What are they fighting over now ? He clicked his tongue and opened the door, bracing himself for whatever the latest controversy was.

“Jen, you said yourself that you didn’t care if she ate your leftovers or not.” The first voice that Neville heard was that of Wade, who was clearly trying to mediate an argument between the two girls, standing in front of Jen while Daisy hid behind his back.

“I said I didn’t want them! I never said she could have them!” Jen had her arms crossed.

“I never ate them, though!” Daisy peeked out from behind Wade, clutching his shirt, dark brown curls falling over her face. “I swear! Why would I want something that you touched?”

“Uh… Hello?” Neville decided to speak up, prompting the three of them to look over in his direction.

“Daddy!!” Daisy let go of Wade and went charging towards him, now opting to hide behind him instead (and prompting a “What, am I not a good enough shield for you?” from Wade). “Jen’s bullying me again!”

“I am not!” Jen insisted. “She’s the one that did something wrong! She ate my food!”

Of all the ridiculous arguments that these two could have had, they had to have one over chicken tenders? Were fights over toys going out of style? “Okay, listen,” Neville started. “Jen, you did say that you didn’t mind if someone else ate them. And Daisy, you shouldn’t insinuate that anything your sister touches is dirty.”

Daisy blinked at him. Neville couldn’t imagine why she looked so confused, seeing as he made a perfectly good point.

“Nev,” Wade said. “She’s six. I don’t think she knows what ‘insinuate’ means.”

“Right… Okay, how about this -- don’t say that anything she touches is dirty. There, is that better?”

Daisy nodded this time. Neville knew her too well, though. It may appear as if she understood, but in reality she was plotting her next move. Chances are she had plenty more insults ready to unleash the moment that Neville’s back was turned.

Jen made a disgusted sound and stormed into the hallway, bounding up the stairs towards her room. Now that her enemy had disappeared, Daisy deemed it safe enough to emerge from hiding, heading towards the kitchen. Neville pushed his glasses up his nose as he watched her go. “How did that argument even start, anyway?” He asked.

“Hell if I know.” Wade shrugged. “I was minding my own business when Daisy came running in here claiming that Jen was going to kill her. Again.”

“Did she even eat the leftovers?”

“No, she didn’t.”

“Then who…” He squinted at Wade. “ You ate them, didn’t you?”

“...Maybe…”

“Of course you did.” Neville sat down on the couch, rubbing at his temples.

“What, did you expect me to speak up? Angry Jen isn’t fun to deal with. The last thing I wanted was to be on the receiving end of her wrath. She clearly got that gene from you.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

Wade took a seat next to him. “Enough about that, though. What happened with the new guy next door?”

“I didn’t talk to him.”

“What?” He looked disappointed. “Not even after I asked you so nicely?”

“Trying to get me to do something for you by buttering me up isn’t always going to work, Wade. I told you that I had a long day today and I wasn’t up for introductions. I’ll get around to it when I’m not exhausted.”

Wade huffed, propping his feet up on the coffee table (and having them shoved off by Neville a few seconds later). “All I’m trying to do is help you get back out there…”

Neville looked at him, eyes narrow. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, did I say that out loud? Oops.” Wade was acting as if that were an accident, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he’d clearly meant for Neville to hear him.

“What do you mean that you’re trying to help me ‘get back out there’?”

“Well, y’know…” Wade began to play with his nails, avoiding Neville’s gaze. “I thought you and the cute new guy next door might want to chat for awhile, maybe hang out sometime, that’s all.”

“You-- Wait, you actually want me to date this guy? This guy who I’ve never even met? Are you kidding me?” Neville had learned so much about Wade in the years that they’d known each other, but never once had he shown any interest in trying to play matchmaker. “Why do you want this so badly?”

“I just thought it would be nice! I know you’ve been lonely lately--”

“And just how would you know that?”

“Nev, I’ve been your friend since college. I’ve been living with you ever since you and Marina split. The last few years have been rough for you romance-wise, and it’s obvious that it’s taken a toll on you.”

Neville swallowed at the mention of his wife’s name. “How do you know ?” He repeated, growing a little impatient.

“I feel like I hardly ever see you smile anymore,” Wade continued. “It’s not that you never smile, it’s just… genuinely happy smiles are pretty rare for you these days. I thought that maybe finding you a nice guy to hang out with would help lift your spirits a bit -- and who knows, something great could come out of this. You should give him a chance.”

Neville knew that he was probably being rude, but he still rolled his eyes, shaking his head and once again pushing his glasses up his nose. He knew that Wade didn’t mean any harm. He was one of the few truly good people that Neville knew, and he would never do anything to hurt him.

This, on the other hand, while it didn’t hurt him by any means, was on a whole different level. “Wade, listen… I understand that you’re just trying to help,” Neville started. “I appreciate that you’re looking out for me. But I know I’ve told you before that I’m not interested in finding a partner at the moment. I have a family to support, and I don’t have time to be fooling around with romance right now.”

“Okay…” Wade’s shoulders drooped. “Sorry if it seemed like I was forcing you into something that you didn’t want.”

“No need to apologize.” Neville stood up from the couch, stretching. “I gotta go get changed. These clothes are so damn uncomfortable.”

“It’s times like these where I’m almost glad I don’t work,” Wade commented, watching Neville as he made to leave the room. “Otherwise I’d have to wear stuff like that .”

“I envy you, I won’t lie.”

Neville arrived at the top of the steps and started to make his way down the hallway. He briefly stopped in front of the door to the girls’ room, knowing that Jen was most likely still stewing inside. He knew that she would get over it eventually, but it still bothered him knowing that she was angry with the wrong person. Maybe once she calms down we can tell her… Though Wade will probably be scared shitless while we do it.

He continued down the hall and made it to his own room, taking off his jacket and tossing it onto the bed. He was about to start undoing the buttons on his shirt when he noticed that the window was open, and he let out a little annoyed noise. Great, now the floor is wet…

It was when he went over to close it that he once again caught sight of the house next door -- in particular, his eye was drawn to the window. He could see that there was someone moving around inside, but he was only able to see his back. There he is, the man of my dreams… or so I’ve been told.

Neville wasn’t in the mood to be accused of being a creeper, so he quickly shut the window and closed the blinds, resuming his undressing. Whoever the hell this new guy was, he wasn’t interested in watching what he assumed were his dinner preparations (nor was he willing to strip right where he could see it).

For all the complaints that Neville had about his job, there was one thing about it that he did like -- the fact that he was able to work from home on Fridays.

He was set up at the kitchen table, lazily scrolling through the emails that were gradually piling up in his inbox. Most of them didn’t even concern him -- in the beginning they were about figuring out what time would work best for everyone for the next meeting, now most of them were people debating which day of the week would be better between Monday and Tuesday. I’m stuck in that office anyway regardless of the day, so what does it even matter? Neville thought to himself, taking a sip from his coffee mug as he went to work deleting some of the messages.

“What a sight to behold.” Neville looked up from the screen and found that Wade had entered the room. “You’re still sitting here working and drinking from that ‘World’s Okayest Dad’ mug. Don’t you think you should give yourself a break?”

“I already took my break earlier,” Neville replied just as he heard another chime ring out from his laptop -- the meeting would officially be on Monday, despite numerous complaints. Incoming shitstorm.

“Take another one. What’s stopping you? It’s not like anyone can tell that you’re not working.”

“They’ll tell when I’m not responding to any of their emails.”

“So if you don’t respond immediately after they send it to you then they’ll know that you’re slacking off? Sounds rough. Glad I’m not working there.”

“You’re not working, period .”

“Exactly, and who would want to with those regulations?” Wade went to the fridge and dug around inside until he came back with a bottle of water, unscrewing the cap and taking a sip. “Hey, where are the girls? I haven’t seen them all afternoon.”

“Outside in the yard.” Neville nodded his head in the direction of the back door. “I’m surprised they’ve been playing for so long without getting into a fight.” Right as Neville finished saying that, he heard a thud and the unmistakable sound of Daisy yelling “Ow!” “Ah, I see I spoke too soon.”

A few moments later, both girls stumbled into the kitchen through the back door. “Daddy, Daisy threw the ball over the fence again,” Jen complained, elbowing her sister in the side.

“Ow-- It wasn’t my fault! She was the one who threw it.”

“You said you were ready for me to throw it!”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did! Daddy, didn’t you hear her say she was ready? She’s lying again--”

“Alright, alright, that’s enough,” Neville interrupted her before she could say anything more, and he pushed back his chair. “You two head back outside and wait in the yard. I’ll go get the ball for you.”

Jen and Daisy looked at each other before they both walked back outside, the two of them getting into a brief scuffle in the doorway since they couldn’t decide which of the two of them got to go through first (Jen ultimately won by reminding Daisy of who the older sibling was). Neville pinched the bridge of his nose once they were gone, letting out a sigh. “What am I going to do with them…”

“Well, you can start by getting their ball,” Wade said.

Neville made a little frustrated noise and stood up, though it was as he was about to leave that he noticed the cocky smirk on Wade’s face. “What’s up with you?”

“Nev, how did you get the ball the last time they threw it over the fence?” he asked, leaning back against the counter.

“Uh… I went into the yard and got it?”

“You realize you can’t do that anymore, right? Since there’s now someone living there. That’s trespassing.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is that you’re going to have to get the new neighbor’s permission to go back there and get it. You two are finally going to meet.”

“Oh God, are you still on this?” Neville huffed. “I told you that I’m not interested in being in a relationship right now. Let it go .”

“I never said you had to date him. Just that you’re gonna be meeting for the first time.”

“Maybe so, but I know you’re thinking it.” He waggled his finger at him. “And let me tell you this: I’m going to go next door, ask for the ball back, and then come right back here. No bullshit, no stopping inside for coffee or whatever, no nothing . You got that?”

“Whatever you say, mate.” Wade still didn’t look entirely convinced, but he didn’t press the issue any further and left the kitchen, leaving Neville all by himself.

What a pain in the ass… Neville shook his head as he watched Wade retreat downstairs. He waited until he was gone before exiting into the hallway and walking towards the front door.

The moment that the early-August heat hit his face, Neville immediately regretting going outside. God, how have those kids been playing out here for all this time? He despised the thought of meeting his new neighbor while drenched in sweat, so he decided to stop wasting time and briskly started the trek over to the house next door.

“It won’t take him much longer, calm down!” Neville could hear the faint sound of Jen reprimanding her sister from his own yard.

“We’ve been waiting foreverrrrr…” Naturally, the next voice he heard was that of Daisy.

Five minutes. It’s been five minutes since they asked. At most.

Neville looked up at the house that was now in front of him, and he marched up to the door with authority, determined not to let Wade’s nonsense get in the way of what he came here to do. He didn’t come here to flirt or do anything of that nature -- he was not going to let the wannabe matchmaker that lived in his basement cloud his judgement.

He rang the doorbell and took a step back, crossing his arms and waiting for some sort of response. He could still hear the sounds of Daisy and Jen bickering from the yard. He debated taking out his phone and asking Wade to keep an eye on them, but it was right as he reached for his pocket that the door opened.

“Hi, I’m—” Neville stopped himself once he got a good look at the man now standing in the doorway, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“Um… How can I help you?” The man asked, brown eyes narrowed in confusion, like he couldn’t figure out why this stranger was gaping at him on his doorstep. It was those same eyes that Neville found himself suddenly lost in, momentarily forgetting just why the hell he was there in the first place. That’s a good question -- how can you help me?

Neville cleared his throat, shaking his head and snapping himself out of his trance. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to bother you, but my kids accidentally threw their ball over your fence. I was wondering if we could get it back.”

“Oh, that’s what that was?” He smiled. “I heard yelling coming from next door and was wondering what had happened.”

“Ah, well, you know how little girls can be sometimes…”

“Trust me, I do. I work with them. I can toss the ball back over for ‘em.”

“Thank you.” Neville returned his smile. “Again, sorry to trouble you. I know you’re still busy unpacking.” Neville could see the moving boxes that were sitting in the hallway. “Don’t mean to interrupt.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not a problem at all. Hey, what’s your name, by the way? I’m Mustafa.”

“Mustafa…” Neville repeated. It was a nice name. “I’m Adrian.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Adrian.” There was that infectious smile again. Neville found himself quite liking how his name sounded coming from his mouth -- and he normally hated his first name. “You’re the first person around here that I’ve actually spoken to, you know that?”

“That doesn’t shock me.” He frowned. “The people around here aren’t exactly the nicest. They don’t really do things like greeting new neighbors.”

“That’s a shame… But at least I have one nice neighbor in you . That makes up for it.” Mustafa shot him a wink. “I should probably go get the ball now -- I’ll catch you later, okay?”

“Okay! I’ll, uh… see you around.”

With that, Mustafa shut the door, and Neville let out a breath that he didn’t even realize that he was holding. Finally, it was over . He had done what needed to be done, and now he could go back home and rub it in Wade’s face.

I didn’t linger at all. Neville thought with a sense of triumph as he went down to the sidewalk. Wade was so sure that I was going to fall head over heels for him within thirty seconds of knowing him. Not even close.

…Still, Neville thought it was a bit strange how he had acted when Mustafa first opened the door. Everything about their conversation was normal with the exception of the beginning. Neville had been completely entranced by him, especially those eyes … What was that all about?

Neville’s moment of contemplation didn’t last very long, as he was interrupted by the gleeful sounds of his daughters, whose ball had just been returned to them. He was overthinking things, as usual. He only felt this way because Wade planted the seeds in his mind.

This was nothing to dwell on.

[gimmesumsuga]

So I was in bio dissecting a pig and trying to not vomit when some fuck decided to throw a firecracker into the hallway and I thought we were being shot tf up and I'm very pissed atm so your sts update is clearly a sign from the heavens as a token of apology God bless you

Oh jesus :/ I hope it made up for what sounds like a pretty trauamatic day otherwise! 

***

Anon: A part of me feels bad for namjoon.. the other part of me feels bad for everyone else, namjoon tried to kill yoongi before with no real reason and now I’m anxious

Yeah, I just feel kind of bad for everyone, to be honest.  What kind of sadist even writers th-.... oh... >.> lol 

***

Anon: Oh damn....oh thank god but I don’t really like Sam knowing who knows it’s strange but thank god the boys helped hopefully jimin and Yoongi find out what happened and go to her. I’m loving this chapter and I’m loving the protectiveness that Jin, Tae, and Kookie showed damn just perfect brb reading it again

I hope you enjoyed it just as much the second time around, nonnie! 

***

Anon: JUST READ 67. GODDAMMIT!

Haha I’m gonna take that as a good god dammit, hopefully?  

***

@shedevil65 - Wow how is MC not traumatized

I don’t think she’s had chance for it to all sink in yet, to be honest 

***

@shynerdybtssblog - *shakes* holy moly that was not what I was thinking what was going to happen!  

Pt 2. I love you and take your time 

Always nice to have a surprise, right? :P  Thank you sweetie

***  

@riverlakepondstream - Yo with all due respect fuck you dude

I probably deserve that lol 

***

@kidrauhlschik - GUESS WHAT. IMA AT WORK. AND GUESS WHAT. IM GONNA READ CHAPTER 67 BECAUSE FEELS

Pt 2. Ok wow. So I read it. Took me long enough. Now what am I supposed to do????????? How can I wait???? Aghhhh you’re such a good writer ♥️

Ah I’m glad you liked it, and I hope you didn’t get in trouble at work! haha thank you lovely 

***

Anon: i'm so angry at namjoon in sweeter than sweet oh my g o d. i genuinely thought that maybe he would get a redemption arc-- and i was rly rooting for that too!! but after this shit he jos pulled??? bitch needs to die smh there really is no excuse for him fuck that noise anYWAY i lov ur fic sm and i got so excited by this update that i fuckin hit my ankle on my coffee table :(( i'm suing u

Ow ouch!  I hope it didn’t bruise too badly anon! Don’t sue *smooch*

***

@keideonseu - I've been following Sweeter than Sweet since Chapter 9 and I gotta tell ya, YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO KEEP ME HOOKED!! I mostly read it on Archive of our Own, and just recently did I find your tumblr. 😂😂 I am hella torn between Jimin and Joon tho... Joon is my UB but Jimin is just a CINNAMON ROLL who deserves all the love

Ah I’m glad you found me here! I can’t blame you for still feeling conflicted, especially when Joon is your bias! 

***

@einekleinecubasianfraulein - Woman! YOU'RE KILLING ME, SMALLS!! I love STS so far... The angst is so real. I'm only allowed to leave kudos once on AO3, which is a very stupid system. I'LL LEAVE ALL THE DAMN KUDOS I PLEASE!! All the love to you, gorgeous. Hope you're well. 🖤

Aww thanks sweetie! I appreciate the want to leave more even if you can’t lol 

***

Anon: OMG, THE NEW CHAPTER. DARLING YOU FED ALL OF US JIN STANS SO GOOOOOD. I ALREADY CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!! GREAT WORK! ❤️💓💗💛💚💜💙💛❤️💛💜💗💛💙💜❤️💛💕💖

I soooooo enjoyed writing Jin very differently to how I usually would!  It felt great! Glad you liked it ^^

***

@nnn3r5 - Lord STS wrecks me further into oblivion with each new chapter. You truly are great at what you do Steph. You're such a good writer😭😭😭💜💜💜💜

Thanks hunny, I try my best :) 

***

@yoonnggii - OMG i just finished reading chapter 67 and IT WAS SO GOOD!!! I CANT WAIT FOR CHAPTER 68, i’m in love w this series!!! IM SO GLAD THEY KICKED NAMJOON OUT but i’m sad jimin and yoongi weren’t in this chapter:((( either way i still loved it!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH💓

You’re welcom, and thank you very much!  Yoongi and Jimin should be back next chapter! 

***

Anon: Omg!!!! Namjoon is kicked out!!! I have a feeling he’ll be back though. I really hope Jimin and Yoongi Forgive Her And they can have more cute couple time together I miss that they was so cute!!!!! UWU

Ah, I miss it too.  In desperate need of some fluffy times in STS again soon! 

***

 Anon: so i just read chapter 67 of sts and well...NOW IM CRYING LIKE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS I WAS HAPPY 17 MINUTES AGO AND NOW I CANT COPE WHERE IS MY INHALER IM JSJJFKSJHDDXNz~~

Ohhhh, I hope you recovered just as quickly anon! 

***

@jaetaebum - *slams fists aggressively on a table* WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!!!!! I WAS LITERALLY HAVING A PANIC ATTACK DURING THAT FIGHT SCENE AND I HAD TO STOP READING FOR A MINUTE TO CALM MYSLELFV???? i'm dtill hyperventilating and idk what to do with mysenlf??? help??? i'm in love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg !!!!!!!!! you are an absolutely legend and im sp inspired by you <3333 thank you for writing this story! :)))

Bless you sweetie, you’re so cute! lol you’re welcome *hug* 

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.25

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25

alright!!! so this chapter is a little special. its a contest!!!!

for literally no reason at all, i decided to have a little fun with this chapter. in this chapter, there are a bunch of pop song references. the majority are from the early 2000s (before 2010, tho there may be one or two from 2011 or 12) and one is from the 90s. whoever can list the most references wins a drabble/short fic of their choice from me!

to enter, submit a list of all the songs that were referenced in this chapter (or the ones you could find!!)

shoot me an ask if you have any questions~!

mental support = nino, ebony = alya, draco = adrien, vampire = alya

i hope you enjoy!

17:20

mental support: a reminder that i hate all of you

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: u love u s

mental support: i can t believe you just made me listen to all of that what the fuck

draco malfoy: Now You Know

mental support: i wish i didnt

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: its so good so iconic also the writer is now a fukcing awesome published author and mari and i r gonna read her books together join us we can b the nerds with a book club

mental support: i just spent several hours listening to you three do a dramatic reading of my immortal i think weve gone past nerds with a book club

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: sounds fake

vampire: You cant say that wasnt a lot of fun though I forgot how wil d that fic got

mental support: i need to process

draco malfoy: Have fun

  5:02

draco malfoy: Reasons to quit modelling: Early morning shoots

draco malfoy changed his name to asleep in makeup

asleep in makeup: I can’t wait to be done today

  9:34

mental support: i am so sorry dude fingers crossed that your dad stops sending you to them

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: ^^^

mental support: al babe please change your name

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: f i n e uhhhhhhhh

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way has changed their name to aint no lie

aint no lie: baby bi bi bi

mental support: i dont know what i expected

aint no lie: pls choose a lyric and join me

mental support: youre ridiculous why do i love you

mental support has changed their name to fool for you

aint no lie: lmao sap

fool for you: true

  10:02

vampire: Oh my god we have so man y orders to day Wont be on Im dying Im gonna dronw in frosting

vampire has changed their name to too many cookies

fool for you: uhhh no such thing let me know when youre on your break i wanna stop in and say hi and also steal some baked goods pull you away from baking for a bit

too many cookies: My knight in shining arm or  <3

fool for you: mostly hoping for cookies deemed unworthy to sell but yes i can work with knight

too many cookies: At least youre honest

13:35

asleep in makeup: Get me out og hits hous e

aint no lie: omw get ready to leave boy i was in the area on a walk

asleep in makeup: Thnak s

  13:46

fool for you: let me know if i can do anything ok?? if you need to stay the night or something that super chill my moms wont mind besides they keep trying to invite you all to dinner

too many cookies: Same as what Nino said!!! And also what!! I love your moms Id love to go to dinner??????

fool for you: yeah but theyre gonna tell embarrassing stories

too many cookies: You say that like I wasnt there for most of them

fool for you: yeah but adrie nand alya werent

too many cookies: Ok true true

19:11 in PM between too many cookies and alseep in makeup

asleep in makeup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J1-eYBbspA

too many cookies: Why the fuck

asleep in makeup: I’m with Alya We’re listening to 2000 hits from the US

too many cookies: Of course you are Are you having fun And feeling better??

asleep in makeup: Yeah We’re cuddling and making fun of the music videos Mostly the fashion Also her mom brought home some food from the hotel so we don’t have to eat ramen which is both awesome and a disappointment

too many cookies: Mhm How hard are you pining

asleep in makeup: Shut up

too many cookies: You love me

asleep in makeup: Unfortunately Why are our friends just so Great Good Incredible Sos I’m getting emotional about them Mari I really love them what did we do

too many cookies: We have really great taste obviously

asleep in makeup: Man I have shitty luck

too many cookies: Or the best

asleep in makeup: That’s your department

too many cookies: True tru e Are you going to survive??

asleep in makeup: Yeah Cuddling with Alya is unfairly nice

too many cookies: Tell me about it Anyway why this song

asleep in makeup: Because I love you and just wanted to remind you

too many cookies: This is the worst way to tell me that But I love you too I have to go help my mom with dinner but Ill talk to you later <3 Have fun Dont die

asleep in makeup: No promises

20:02 in fucking clock hearts

aint no lie has renamed this conversation to tell your boyfriend if hes got beef

too many cookies: Wha t

aint no lie: THAT IM A VEGETARIAN AND I AINT FUCKING SCARED O F HIM

fool for you: what the fuck

asleep in makeup: We’ve been watching music videos for like 3 hours

aint no lie: im liv in g

asleep in makeup: My dad would die if he saw any of the outfits people are wearing in these

aint no lie: american pop music from the 2000s is wild join us

fool for you: i thik im good

asleep in makeup: Youre not

aint no lie: were not falling in love were just falling apart :/

too many cookies: Im too tired for fake deep al

aint no lie: rip im sorry babe

fool for you: can i break into the bakery and get a cookie i need sugar

too many cookies: Cn I convince you to watch a show with me or something

fool for you: duh

too many cookies: !!!!!!!!! Let me know when you get here Im just at the foot of the stairs braiding my hair Ill let you in  

  20:15

aint no lie: bo y why are all of 3oh3s songs fucking icon ci

too many cookies: 3oh3 is that supposed to like Mean somethin g

aint no lie: idk its just another word i never learned how to pronounce

too many cookies: RIp

fool for you: yo mari im here

too many cookies: !!!

  20:25

aint no lie: a;lsdkfjasdf things i apparently need to do add chloe on snapchat

fool for you: yo why

asleep in makeup: She just sent me a selfie of her wearing designer shades just to hide her face cause she took her makeup off

aint no lie: she is???? weirdly chill snapchattin g marhs whtf

too many cookies: Whtf???

fool for you: what hell the fuck

asleep in makeup: That might have to do with us having been friends since we were like In diapers Chloe isn’t the best person but we still talk for a reason

aint no lie: fair

fool for you: i follow her on twitter for her rants theyre ridic they make my day

asleep in makeup: Oh uh Nino can I come over when you’re done at the bakery?

fool for you: yeah of course dude!!! that offers always there

aint no lie: >:(

too many cookies: I take it you two had this argument alread y

asleep in makeup: Yup I feel bad invading Alya’s space for so long

aint no lie: youve been around all night before!!!!! its not a big deal!!!!!!!!!!! the party dont stop

fool for you: want me to steal some cookies from you

asleep in makeup: Stealing is bad

aint no lie: why are u leaving me!!!!!!!!!!!

too many cookies: Ill let Nino tak ethe cookies then its not stealing Also cant you have this con vo irl??

asleep in makeup: Yeah but this is better

aint no lie: yeah also were comfy on the couch and itd be weird to yell at each other when were sitting like this

PM between asleep in makeup and too many cookies

too many cookies: Rip

asleep in makeup: Please don’t make this worse

too many cookies: Come on Romeo

asleep in makeup: That’s not my name

too many cookies: Fiiine You ok?? I know youre going over Ninos Hes getting ready to leave btw but he just mentioned that in the main chat

asleep in makeup: Yeah I just Its been a really really messed up week

too many cookies: Fair enough Let me know if you need anything ok???

asleep in makeup: Thanks <3 Going from Alya to Nino will be fun

too many cookies: Tonight your e fallign in love

asleep in makeup: Very funny But let me know if you need anything too Ok???

too many cookies: I will <3 <3

in tell your boyfriend if hes got beef

fool for you: ok so how many cookies is too many cookies

aint no lie: there is literally no such thing weve talked about thi s

fool for you: i bet if you eat too many you could die

aint no lie: come on let me shake up ur world and change ur life eat All The Cookies

fool for you: thats too many cookies

aint no lie: eat all the cookies an d die

fool for you: youre just jealous that adrien is coming over

aint no lie: please this isnt even jealousy >:/

fool for you: bruh oh btw im leaving in like 2 minutes gonna steal you away from alya

aint no lie: n e v e r

asleep in makeup: Please save me she’s been playing the same song for like half an hour

aint no lie: listen hot stuff im in loe vwith this son g

fool for you: let the beat rock dude

asleep in makeup: Mari pl e a s e

aint no lie: i cant stop cause im haivng too much fun!!!!!!!

  21:35

aint no lie: i cant believe ive been betrayed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fool for you: youre so dramatic

aint no lie: this is the worst thing to ever happen o t me

asleep in makeup: Its not enough to say that I miss you, is it

aint no lie: no >:( tell me what i wanna hear and that is that ur coming bcak

asleep in makeup: Sorry Al

fool for you: yeah ive got a blanket fort set up still from last time so i win

aint no lie: shi t

too many cookies: Youre all ridiculou s You need to come back down t o earht Weve got bigger problems than this Liek the fact that I canT FIND MY SCISSOR S

aint no lie: r i p

fool for you: theyre under your chaise

too many cookies: What

fool for you: check

too many cookies: ……. Holy s hi t HO W

fool for you: magic

aint no lie: u might no t believe ur eyes but ninos magic

asleep in makeup: I thought I got away from this

aint no lie: nope <3