#but quite frankly i need a refresher before discussing that

[lettucedloophole]

i know some people are disappointed about the btsv release date / setback but honestly i think it's very appropriate and i feel good about it. and i swear i'm not just saying that because it's two days before my 24th birthday and that makes me happy lol... (though i do think that is neat! :P)

my first thought on setbacks is always that the crew will have more time to work. this creates better working conditions, and this is especially important for this film given the issues reported of unsustainable working conditions for animators particularly in the last film. i would have been disappointed if the film came out when it was "supposed to" given those issues. creatives deserve not to be bled dry by corporations, and we should have care for the people behind something so beloved.

and like, there is an INSANE amount of pressure when following up atsv PARTICULARLY. they've built up even more pressure than itsv by outdoing what was already a masterpiece with insane animation techniques and a beautifully written story, and everyone is expecting them to do it AGAIN. this time though, there is so much less leeway. there's an established story they're confined to continue and misteps they are tethered to, and so you've got a task that seems almost insurmountable for the writers and animators.

you may be wondering what misteps i'm referring to, and some of it is stuff i dont care about that much, but there are some things that would actively undermind the message of atsv and blunt any resolution if left unresolved. the stuff that i don't really care about is people being upset about atsv taking miguel o'hara, an established character, and kind of just making him into another guy. as far as i can tell, there's a leftist slant to him in his og comics (idk i havent read them) that is. Obviously not present in the film lol. i get where people are coming from but i take this crtique with a grain of salt since people have a tendency of hailing superhero comics or superheros themselves as being Oh-so progressive for stating something obvious like, "punch nazis" or in sm2099's case, corporations Bad. someone also told me there was an anti-cop vibe going on w comic sm2099 but i heavily doubt that it was the systemic criticism necessary of the cops and more like comic miguel acknowledging cops are bad sometimes or fighting them bc naturally the writers would want to do that to make him come off as more vigilante-ish and cool, going against established order. but he is still like, rich 😭 i think it would be great if they found some way to tie some aspects of the comics like his childhood trauma (important events that shaped him) into the movie, but that seems very difficult to do naturally with the story they have right now. i also think using an established character and changing them doesn't have to be all bad, in fact i think having a character seen as lightly leftist and like, a lone figure who challenges the system (who was also probably slightly progressive for being irish and mexican) being assimilated into mainstream culture and instead BECOMING the system is likee good metacommentary to meee.. but as i said, there are some more objective bads.

so likee... yes it's all well and good that miguel o'hara is very sexy. but liekk there is the issue of the atsv playing into the feral animalistic brown man thing, especially with Whatever the injecty stuff is. you can't do the racism in a movie that's a commentary on racism 😔 and i feel that's gotten some pretty heavy criticism from people so it feels like something that the writers are now aware of and hopefully addressing. truly i do not know what the og plan was with that esp the syringies it is very strange..

then there's stuff thats not misteps and in fact Good but difficult to follow up. specifically the abandonment of miles by his (coughWHITEcoughcough) teammates (gwen and peter being the most important two) and how this betrayal is reconciled. bc yall... i mean. Youve seen the movie. youve seen the memes. child got bounced around like a volleyball by this GROWN 👏 ASS 👏 MAN. AND FEW WERE WILLING TO HELP HIM!!! FEW WERE WILLING TO TAKE HIS SIDE EXPLICITLY AND SAY "THIS IS WRONG". it's chilling and it's a great commentary on racism to have even the good guys you know and like fail to do the right thing. where do you go from there?

to me this img is very evocative of that loneliness miles might be feeling after that and the rift this puts in he and gwen's relationship. it's a beautiful scene

anyways thats all i guess hehe :P sorry that most of it's about miguel's i have #Priorities (simp priorities) and honestly i dont think ive seen the movie since it came out... literally only watched it once and idek why when its so spectacular, maybe i am Afraid to experience this emotional depth and mindblowingness again. but i will try to treat myself to a watch before its taken off of netflix..!

[ceesimz]

Reverie - Part 2

Autistic Reader x Barça Femení - part one here

Hey, welcome back for part two :) Thank you so much for the love, this genuinely wouldn't have been posted had it not been for the reaction to the first. Again, more things I wanna mention before reading. This part includes the aftermath of a bad meltdown, but the actual meltdown part is not written in. This was a personal decision because quite honestly there is no way to sum that experience down into a few words, it's impossible. The best example I have seen of a meltdown in the media is the character of Quinni in Heartbreak High on Netflix, if you're interested then you should watch that scene in the first season. I hope you enjoy this second part, thank you for taking the time to read it, let me know what you think :)

Your first Champion’s League game for Barcelona, a group stage game against PSG at home, didn’t quite go as planned.

From the first minute of the game, things weren’t clicking out on the pitch for you. Passes to and from you weren’t connecting, you were losing duels you definitely shouldn’t and you were missing key, game-changing shots. 

Half-time came way too quickly, and to everybody’s frustration, the score was still 0-0. As everyone sat in the changing rooms receiving treatment or refreshing themselves with energy drinks and whatnot, the result wasn’t the thing at the forefront of Ingrid's mind. It was you. She could see defeat written all over you before the match had even concluded. It didn’t bode well what this game was doing to you. Before she could do anything, she was called away for a tactical discussion. Then the break was over and everybody was being ushered back to the pitch, and her opportunity was gone.

Rough challenges, an open goal miss, and a yellow card later, you were done for. Your streak was over, you knew what was coming and there was no way to avoid it.

Nobody heard from you for ten hours, nobody saw you at any point after the game, and quite frankly nobody knew where you were. Ingrid knew though. And if her gut feeling about what had happened was correct, she was going to need back up for this one. She hadn’t dealt with a situation like this for a while now, and she felt a little out of her depth.

“Why didn’t anybody stay with her last night?” Alexia asked with a deep-set frown, rushing to your flat alongside Mapi and Ingrid. “You guys live in the same complex as her, why didn’t you check up on her?”

“I don’t know, Alexia! If I could go back and change it, I would, I swear.” Ingrid replied desperately, looking through her keys to find the one to her old flat. 

“Hey, let’s not argue. She won’t be in any fit state to deal with that, we can hash it out later.” Mapi attempted to de-escalate the situation whilst taking the keys from her girlfriend's shaking hands and quietly unlocking the door.

The thing they'd all been worried about made its presence known immediately. Ingrid’s heart broke, and she’d never regretted a decision more in her life.

By the door, your bag had been thrown haphazardly towards the shoe rack, causing the contents of both items to be strewn across the entryway. As the trio stepped past the mess and entered the main room, their concern doubled. There seemed to be two smashed glasses in the kitchen, one of the framed prints from your lounge wall had fallen down, a plant had been knocked over, yet there was no sign of you. The curtains were drawn, the lights were off, and the flat was deathly silent.

“What do we do?” Alexia questioned quietly, afraid of shattering the calm that had seemingly settled after the storm, and unsure what the best way to go about this was. She'd never really experienced anything like this before, at least not to this degree.

“Can you two clean up a bit? She will be in bed, I should go to her first I think.” Ingrid decided as her eyes were glued to your closed bedroom door.

“Of course. If either of you need anything, princesa, just shout for us.” Mapi reminded her, knowing that whatever was in store for her behind your bedroom door could be mentally taxing for her too. She nodded, and at that left the two Spaniards to clean up as she went off to do some damage control.

What greeted her when she entered your room was a sight she hadn’t seen in a long time. Not since the several hour journeys the pair of you would make throughout Germany to meet up, not since national camps, not for years. 

Ingrid found you as a disfigured lump under the duvet, the only thing visible being your hair peeking out just slightly. Again, the lights were off and the curtains were drawn, but with it being morning there was enough daylight bleeding through the soft material to let her look around the room. Just like the rest of the flat, it was in a concerning state of disarray. That wasn't at the forefront of her mind though right now though.

“Elskling?” She called out softly, though got no response. Her only option was to step closer, around to the side of the bed you lay on to try and get your attention.

You were lay on your stomach, cheek smushed against the mattress, and most unnervingly of all, your eyes were open and staring straight ahead at the wall in front. The look on your face was hauntingly empty, yet agonised all in one.

“Hey.” Ingrid whispered, kneeling down before you, yet you didn't even acknowledge she was there. 

It was that moment that the defender noticed the tear tracks, the redness to your face, and the internal agony and undertones of fear present in your blood-shot eyes. She swallowed the lump in her throat, broken at the sight of you, before gently placing her hand on your back atop the sheets.

“If you can hear me, min engel, just give me a tiny nod at least. That's all I ask.” The relief that flooded her when you did exactly what she said was immense, it filled her from head to toe, so grateful you were at least present in the room now. 

“Thank you, that's all I needed.” She smiled sadly, delicately pushing a few strands of hair out of your face. “I'm going to sit here with you for as long as you need. María and Alexia are here too but they won't come in unless you say otherwise, they are just cleaning up for you. I love you, søster, I am always going to love you no matter what.”

Her words, her compassionate and caring words, broke through the trance you'd been in ever since your explosive meltdown had ended however long ago. Ingrid's unconditional love that she consistently showed towards you made itself known yet again, it being quite possibly the one sole thing that could get through to you in this precarious moment. 

The taller woman panicked the moment she saw you tearing up again, worried that she had said the wrong thing, but then your arm reached out from under the covers and grasped desperately at the hand on your back.

“It's okay, it's okay. I've got you. I'm here, you're safe, and I've got you.” Her free hand came up to wipe the tears that fell silently, the repetitive movement of her thumb across your wet cheeks a comfort you clung onto. Meanwhile, the arm of hers you'd grabbed now had both your arms wrapped around it, eyes scrunched tightly shut to keep the tears at bay as much as possible. 

It wasn't possible though, they were coming out thick and fast with no way of stopping them.

“Let it out, snuppa, you will feel better.”

And let it out you did; all the anger you directed at yourself the second the final whistle blew the day before dissipated, and a fatalistic sadness washed over you. You don't know how long you spent sobbing into the mattress, all you knew was that Ingrid was there and she wasn't leaving. She repeated reassuring words over and over until they finally registered, eventually helping you to calm down.

All that was left was an exhausted, now mindless shell of you, stuttered breaths sounding through the quiet room every so often. Ingrid's hand was tracing light circles on the palm of yours, whilst she was quietly suffering through a numb arm that you held onto still.

“Have you had anything to eat or drink since yesterday?” Ingrid asked, her assumption confirmed by the slight shake of your head. “Can I leave for a few seconds to get you something, or shall I ask one of the girls to do it?”

“Stay.” You could barely get the single word out; your throat was already dry and hurting from the exertion it had experienced in the last twelve hours or so, nevermind the mental challenge it was to speak.

“Alright, I will stay. Is it okay if one of them comes in then?” Another tiny, barely noticeable nod. “I will text them, thank you.”

No more than a few silent minutes later, there was a polite knock on the door, shortly followed by Alexia walking in with a tray in her arms. On it was a glass of water, a variety of snacks, some electrolyte tablets and even a box of tissues. She had really thought of it all.

Alexia’s eyes glanced up to where you were, before turning back to Ingrid with a questioning look in her eyes. Ingrid only shook her head, and Alexia took that as her cue to leave. It was clear, from just one momentary glance, that Ingrid still had more progress to make with you, so Alexia quietly slipped straight back out of the room.

When Ingrid turned back to you, all she saw was the sixteen year old version of you, crying in a hotel room hours from home after being dropped to the bench for an upcoming match. She saw the seventeen year old inside of you, the one that had gotten way past drunk at a party and had collapsed into a blubbering, destroyed mess on your bed after near enough carrying you home. She saw you at twenty, breaking down when she revealed she was moving to Wolfsburg, fumbling through the congratulatory messages whilst trying to come to terms with the fact your best friend was moving to a whole different country, feeling like the world was collapsing around you. You, twenty-three, leaving your last national camp, physically and mentally ruined, unable to talk, body and mind exhausted after a night of tears, frustration, and a soul crushing amount of remorse at the decision you had no choice but to make.

Every version of yourself, past and present, was right there in front of her; every version needing the support she was giving. Every version was still alive in some way, they would never die. With this disorder, things don’t come and go, they’re always there, ready to be triggered at any given moment. She had seen this one and the others a handful of times before, but you’d have them with you for the rest of your life. Your own cross to bear, something she’d never come to experience or understand, but if she can carry the load with you then she’d give up everything else in her life to do so.

“Are you ready to sit up? Ale brought in some stuff for you.” She said, her hand resting on your cheek and caressing it lightly. 

You only shrugged, not quite ready to leave your space yet. If you moved now, you had to face the world again, had to recover from the night’s meltdown and move on. It was daunting, nothing short of terrifying, and the longer you could delay the process, the better.

“The three of us have cleared our day, should you need us. We’ll go at your pace, do things how you want. I’ll be right here.” 

You found solace in Ingrid’s company; having her here meant you could relax and focus on something else other than the noise in your head. Your thoughts were having a whale of a time up there, you couldn’t land on a single one as they were spiralling around too much to pick one out. It was exactly that - just noise. But then you’d avert your eyes slightly to the left and land on a certain dark-haired woman, and everything went silent. Knowing that Alexia and Mapi were just a few metres away behind the door might have made you panic, but you trusted them both and knew that they were equally concerned about you as Ingrid was. As Alexia had told you since one of the first times you spoke to her, she wanted to be a person you felt comfortable with to go to about any problems, and you did trust her. Mapi too, though she came as an unspoken package deal with Ingrid, whether she liked that or not.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, surprising yourself as much as you did Ingrid. She frowned at you, wondering why of all things you could say after the difficult time you’d had in the last day, you chose to apologise.

“Sorry about what? You don’t need to apologise for anything, elskling.” She told you, finally moving her dead arm to hold one of your hands and squeeze it comfortingly.

“Yesterday. The match. Me.” Talking was still hard, but the guilt was monumental.

“The result wasn’t your fault. That’s just how football is sometimes, but we didn’t lose and we still have more group stage games to go. The whole team was off, it wasn’t your fault.” Ingrid reminded you, her eyes wide as she tried to get the message through to you.

“Yellow card.”

“You did get a yellow card, but we all saw the replay afterwards and you got the ball. The referee got it wrong. You also scored our only goal of the game, engel, don’t forget that.” She shuffled a little closer on her knees, placing another kiss to your forehead.

“Suppose so.” You grumbled a minute later, Ingrid smiling in amusement.

“You did so.” She commented, thumb still stroking along the skin of your cheekbone. “Did you have a bad meltdown last night?”

“Mhm.” You hummed dejectedly, overcome with shame and embarrassment at now admitting it to someone. The evidence of it was all around, you knew the trio in your house had seen it all, but there was something gut-wrenching about admitting it aloud.

“Okay. We’ll pick up the pieces and put you back together, don’t worry.” Ingrid stated resolutely, like there was no other option.

With the next thing you said, someone might have to come along and piece Ingrid back together.

“Why do they have to happen, Ingrid? I hate them so fucking much.” 

All your vulnerabilities poured out in two short sentences. Twenty-six years later and the process of a meltdown never got any less demoralising.

“I know, I know.” She moved from her place on the floor and clambered onto the bed behind you, recognising that you had entered a head space where you’d feel comfortable with it now. You confirmed that for her by rolling onto your side, allowing her to shuffle up and hug you tightly back to her chest. “Hey, think of it this way. This is your first one since moving to Spain, that’s amazing! I’m so proud. You’ve handled everything so well, I bet younger you is so proud too.”

Progress wasn’t linear, and it didn’t have the same definition in this case as it did for the majority of the population. Progress meant learning about yourself, learning what harmed you and what you couldn’t deal with, so that you could come up with solutions. There wasn’t a way to grow comfortable with certain things, like restaurants for example, it was about realising what precautions had to be taken beforehand and what support you needed afterwards. Progress was being able to ask people for help, it was having the courage to say no to plans you wouldn’t be able to cope with, it was accepting that yes, you were different, but no, it didn’t make you any less worthy than the next person.

You had made progress, but not the textbook definition of it. Autism took everything about the allistic world and re-defined it for itself.

“Thank you.” You said, voice cracking a little as you did so, a slither of a smile on your face when Ingrid kissed the back of your neck. “Love you, Ingrid.”

The defender felt as if her heart had burst upon hearing those two words. But with the swell of joy that filled her chest, quickly came the crushing sense of regret from earlier.

“I love you too. I'm sorry for not being here last night. I could have helped, or just been with you, and I didn't. I'm sorry for that.” 

Her apology tugged at your heart; you didn't blame her, not one bit. 99% of the time, there was no stopping these things, no matter what you tried or who you were with.

“It's okay. Thank you for being here now.” 

Ingrid nestled in closer at that, and the strength of her hug was the exact kind of pressure needed for the remnants of the dark cloud that had hung over you for a while to finally drift away. The pair of you stayed that way for a while, both more than happy to relish in the peace that had settled, but when there are two antsy women only a few feet behind the door, a disruption is inevitable.

“Can they come in? They’re both worried and will just want to see you're okay.” Ingrid asked quietly after one of them had knocked on the door. You nodded sheepishly, so Ingrid called them in.

“How are things going in here?” Mapi asked carefully, smiling at her girlfriend who gave her a reassuring nod.

“Good. We’re doing okay now.” Ingrid answered honestly, feeling just as relieved as the two Spaniards at the door looked.

“You guys can come in instead of hanging around by the door.” You told them, Ingrid stifling her laughter behind you.

“You two look cosy. Let me join, I'm jealous.” Mapi grinned, dramatically diving onto the bed and sighing contently as she threw an arm around Ingrid's waist.

Alexia was still lingering awkwardly at the door as three of you lay in one double bed, thinking that she didn't want to intrude on a friendship that had been around far longer than she'd known you. But, as you had done for months now, you continued to surprise her.

“Come lay here, Ale.” You waved her over and pointed for her to lay beside the bed on the ground.

Ale. Sure, everybody called her that, but today was the first time you called her that.

She came over in a heartbeat, probably too eager, but she immediately got down and laid on her back beside you. You looked down at her with a shy smile, red eyes and all, and she returned it instantly with pink cheeks.

“Have you eaten yet?” She whispered, looking at the untouched tray of goods next to her. As you shook your head, she reached to grab the paper bag of bakery-bought cookies she had found in your kitchen and opened them, before taking one out and breaking a bit off to give to you. “Cookies for breakfast.”

“Cookies for breakfast.” You gladly took it and ate it, all whilst smiling down at the woman on the floor.

Alexia Putellas, your captain, a World Cup winner, voted best player in the world numerous times, laying on the floor of your apartment just for you. Playing for this team, in this city, was still such a perplexing situation, though fortunately for all the right reasons.

The rest of the day was spent with Mapi and Ingrid as you had told Alexia to go to her family dinner she had initially cancelled. She was reluctant to do so, but eventually she agreed and you were left with Ingrid and her hyperactive counterpart. They kept you distracted enough throughout the day, going for a walk with you, watching a movie with you, even inviting you back to their apartment for dinner where you spent the majority of the time with Bagheera on your lap. Mapi made digs at the fact her cat loved you more than her, and you just sat there with a grin on your face, knowing it was true and revelling in it. 

At the end of the night, you insisted on going back to your own flat after telling the pair of them you were tired of third-wheeling. With tight hugs from them both and one last gloat from you as Bagheera followed you to the door, you left them and made the very short journey back home. You had unknowingly left your phone there, and as you checked it for the first time in a couple hours, there was a surprise waiting for you on it.

Alexia: Would you like to get breakfast with me tomorrow? 

Alexia: I can meet you at your apartment and we can walk somewhere of your choice

Alexia: But if you don't want to, that’s okay!

Her nervousness radiated through the phone with her slight spam of texts, and you couldn’t help but smile at how endearing it was. As if you could ever say no to that. Even if it was a last minute change of plan, all you were going to do tomorrow was maybe go on a run or go to the gym before staying home all day. This was a welcome surprise.

Sticking true to her word, she showed up at 9am on the dot. Anyone would assume it was the middle of winter in Norway with the way she was dressed, when it was just a rainy day in Barcelona. But she was there, a shy smile on her face that was very uncharacteristic for her as she handed you one of the two umbrellas she had in her hands.

“I do have my own umbrella here, Ale.” You teased her, though you took it and closed the door behind you. When you turned back, there was a red shade to her cheeks.

“Well, good morning to you too.” She grumbled, trying to act grumpy but the smile on her face forced its way through sooner than she wanted. As soon as it did, she drew you in for one of those hugs that you may or may not think about more often than you'd admit.

You both easily fell into step after that, heading towards a quiet little cafe you had frequented since your first week in Barcelona. It was a short walk from your apartment, but that didn’t stop the grumbled complaints from Alexia about the weather the whole way, though by the time you arrived you were quite sure she was doing it just to hear you laugh. Again, it surprised you just how naturally conversation flowed between you both. There was no awkwardness, no nerves, just unfiltered joy spilling from the both of you. It hit you then. You were just being yourself around her. And that’s why it felt so good.

There was no reason to mask around Alexia; you felt safe around her. You could do or say anything, and most likely she would just smile right back at you. She’d seen most versions of you by now, and yet here she still was, inviting you out for breakfast even if it did rain on her parade. She had seen you at your happiest in your first game for the team when she came sprinting over, leading the charge for her teammates to celebrate with you. She saw you yesterday morning after a night of horror, eyes red and puffy, wrapped up unmoving in bed, and she lay on the floor beside you still with a smile on her face. You had already let her in more than some of the people you were closest with back in Germany and her opinion never faltered. 

After finding a table, beside the window of course, Alexia went off to order for the pair of you. Though, when she came back, there was a surprise on your plate.

“Why’d you get me this?” You asked shyly.

“Because it is your… your comfort food, right? I thought you would like it.” She shrugged the gesture off, sitting down across from you like it was nothing. Like it didn’t mean everything to you. It wasn’t the cookie itself that had your heart racing, it was the thought behind it that topped your heart back up with the love it needed after the past thirty-six hours.

“They are, but you didn’t have to do this for me. Thank you.” You said, hiding your smile by taking a drink of the hot cocoa you had chosen.

“Eh, it’s nothing. Have you ever tried this?” She gestured to her choice of meal, one of her favourites. “Pa amb tomàquet.”

“I don’t like tomatoes.” 

“Oh no, cariño.” Alexia muttered after a few quiet moments, shaking her head and dropping her cutlery. “No, no, no.”

“What?” You said in amusement, entertained by her dramatics.

“You just stamped on my culture. You broke my heart.”

“I broke your heart, did I?” You said with a smirk. “You broke my heart when you complained about the rain the whole way here.”

“How can anyone like rain? It is sad and boring.” She argued in mock outrage, though of course she can’t last a second around you without smiling.

“The rain reminds me of home.” You revealed sheepishly. Alexia’s shoulders dropped and her face softened instantly. “Both Norway and Germany, actually.”

“No, I understand. I get it. I never thought about it like that but I understand.” She told you, watching as you nodded and looked out the window. “Do you get homesick?”

“Sometimes.” You admitted in a whisper a minute later, only to clear your throat and turn your attention back to your food and start eating.

“You… you never speak Norwegian with Ingrid.” She stated, though it was clearly more of a question.

“Uh, nope. I find it hard to learn new languages, so when I learnt English and moved to Germany, it was like it became my first language. I can speak Norwegian still, obviously, and I would love to learn Spanish and Catalan but it’s just really tiring switching between languages. Mentally tiring, that is. I never learnt German other than a few basic phrases. It’s just too much to process if that makes sense.” 

You stumbled your way through an explanation of a minor secret you’d been a little shameful of for a while now. It was common courtesy to learn and understand the language of a new country, as well as immersing yourself in that and the culture, but it was something you had always struggled with. Admitting that to someone like Alexia was slightly terrifying.

“That’s okay, a lot of people here speak English so you don’t need to worry about learning the languages. But if you ever want some lessons, if or when you are ready, I could help. Or Aitana, or Jana, or someone else.” 

It was suggestions like that, easy solutions that were offered with no second thought, that made Alexia so endearing.

There was one thought that was ever-present in the back of your mind though, it had been for a while, but the meltdown brought it on even stronger. Once the pair of you had finished your meals and were merely just enjoying each other’s company, it came out before you could stop it.

“Do you think I’m doing well here?”

Alexia paused for a moment to think carefully, before placing her cup down and smiling over at you.

“I do. You want to know what I think?” You nodded with no hesitation. “I remember watching you play against us in the Champion’s League last year, you really caused us a lot of problems. And then I heard the coaches say they were thinking of signing you, and I really wanted you to come because I know you would flourish here. Our play style suits you well, and you are an amazing striker. Your positioning, your creativity, awareness, you are a well-rounded attacker. And outside of the pitch, well… the team is much better off with you here.”

“What do you mean?” You said, almost in a whisper.

“You are just a happy person. The happiest person in the changing room. Any one of us could be having a bad day, but then you are there with your smile and your cheeriness and it really lifts us all up.”

Dumb-founded. That's all you felt in that moment. 

Perhaps your face may not show that considering there was a thoughtful frown on your face as you processed the words nobody had ever said to you before, but then the slight shock wore off and… nope, still dumb-founded.

“Really?” You had to double check, because is that honestly what other people thought of you?

“Yes. It's the truth. Ingrid said she has never seen you bond like this with a team before. Believe me when I say you fit in, everybody loves you. We can't imagine what it's like to not have you now.” 

Well. You just might have to start believing that. What choice were you left with otherwise?

—

Something snapped inside of you after that day. A new problem had formed, one you couldn’t have expected at all. Had you dealt with a similar situation in the past? Yes. But those were much more convenient occasions. This one couldn’t be more inconvenient if you tried.

You couldn’t talk to Mapi about it, or Ingrid, or Alexia. Definitely not Alexia. 

It’s just a crush. You could get over a crush. 

Of course you fall for the first person who showed you a bit of humanity. What’s not to like about Alexia?

She lets you ramble to her when you want to, she sits in silence with you when you need it. During briefings at training, she’ll hand over a pack of chewing gum as she knows it helps you to concentrate or, even in some situations outside of training, she takes her rings off and lets you wear them so you can fidget with them instead of your bad habits of skin picking. She’s seen you very close to your worst, and she’s seen you at your best. She gives you her sunglasses whenever a place is too bright, not just because of the sun as it can be any kind of light, and she lets you squeeze her hand to death during take-offs and landings on planes whilst travelling for away games.

Maybe, maybe, it was a tad more than a crush. It’s not your fault though! She chose to act this way, she had inserted herself right into your life the moment she met you, so… what else were you supposed to do?

Oh boy. 

“Frido! I need your help!” You said in an urgent, hushed whisper. The unsuspecting Swede was just walking to her car after training when you called her name from the window of your own vehicle.

“Everything okay?” She checked with a concerned scowl to her eyebrows, coming over in an instant.

“Yes! Well, no, but yes, but- just get in the car please.” 

With a humoured smile, Frido headed around to the passenger side and hopped in, turning to you with an open expression.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem a bit agitated.” She probed once more. Being long-time friends with Ingrid meant you had obviously come to know Frido well too, and she was part of the group you found yourself in at Barcelona, with Aitana and Esmee also. Esmee was the person you sat with on the coach most of the time, you both gave each other the calmness needed after a game… but that was when you weren't with Alexia, of course.

“Yes, I am just screwed, Frido. So screwed.” You groaned, clutching the steering wheel tightly and dropping your forehead to rest on it.

“Why?” 

“I shouldn’t tell anyone but it’s going to explode out of me if I don't talk about it soon. And I can’t tell Ingrid or Mapi, so here we are.” Then you slumped back against your chair, a frustrated sigh leaving you as you crossed your arms.

“You can tell me anything, they don’t have to know. Getting it off your chest will help.” Frido smiled reassuringly at you. 

It probably wasn’t a good idea to tell anyone about it. Having someone else know made it a reality, for you right now it was just a thought, a daydream. But telling Frido would turn this stupid delusion into an actual, real problem rather than something you thought about at night. And during the day. Actually, most of the t- it doesn't matter. 

“You must never tell a soul, Frido.” You glared at her in warning, though you trusted her with your life. “And you can't make fun of me or laugh either. It's not funny.”

“Never, snuppa. I promise.” She swore.

Another sigh as your eyes flitted around anxiously, moving from the car beside you, to the sky, to the blonde waiting patiently for you to find the words you need. Maybe the world will be thrown upside down when you tell her, but it's either that or an implosion, so.

“I like Alexia. Really like her. And it's going to ruin my life.” 

It did not feel better saying it out loud.

“Why wou-”

“Because she is the captain! She’s the leader, everyone looks up to her, she's just being a human and now I have a crush on her! That's not fair on her! All she’s doing is just being nice to me, like everyone else on the team, and my stupid brain had to choose her. Of all people in the world, her! It's going to mess everything up, I've just found my place and I'm finally feeling somewhat comfortable here and then this happens and I just- I hate it!”

Your words shocked yourself, even. Apparently it was a much bigger problem than you initially thought. In reality, you should have picked up on that, relationships historically haven't gone well for you. 

Everybody says they don't care that you're autistic until your disability actually debilitates you. One glimpse of it and they’re gone. Then the world has the audacity to label you as someone who is ‘high-functioning’ with ‘low support needs’ just because you can get up in the morning and go to work. That doesn't mean you struggle any less, you’re not ‘mildly autistic’, those struggles are simply just internalised, therefore other people experience your autism mildly. If anything, they should be thanking you. Thanking you for making their life easier by making your own a million times harder.

Should Alexia ever see you during one of your meltdowns, she’d probably run for the hills. Quit her career, change her name, and flee to another country. That’s what most people did.

“Slow down, slow down. Come back to me, you are spiralling.” There were soft hands holding your own now, stopping you from palming them roughly against your arms, something you did in anxious moments like now. Movement helped you process things, it was no wonder you became a footballer.

“I don’t know what to do, Frido, it will ruin everythi-”

“Hey, be quiet for a moment.” She urged gently, and you turned to look at her with panic in your eyes. “This won’t ruin everything, that is just your anxiety talking. You’re allowed to have a crush on someone, skatt, you’re only human. It’s natural.”

“Yes, but it’s not the fact I have a crush, it’s who the crush is.”

“I know.” She paused for a second, figuring out the best way to help you around this. “When you talk to me, who do you see? Do you see Frido, your friend? Or do you see Fridolina Rolfö, the footballer?”

“I see Frido, my friend.” You answered skeptically.

“When you’re with Alexia, do you see her as Ale, your friend? Or do you see Alexia Putellas, your captain?” 

“She’s just Ale, but I don’t-”

“If you see Alexia like that normally, why are you picturing her differently in this case? As if she’s bigger than you and… unobtainable?”

Viewing it from another perspective definitely gave you some clarity. 

…But, after all, she is your captain?

“I don’t want to mess this opportunity up though. I was really worried I wouldn’t like it here, but now I do and I actually already love it more than Germany, but if I ever acted upon my feelings it could fuck it all up. I don’t know if I could handle that.” You said insecurely, chewing on your lower lip to keep the emotions at bay. 

When Frido had been silent for too long, you turned to look at her, only to find she was doing the same thing. As if she was deep in thought. Before you could coax whatever was clearly on the tip of her tongue out of her though, she was speaking.

“I know something that I shouldn’t. I’m going to tell you anyway because I think it will make you feel a lot better.” She began with a shy, yet excited expression to her features.

“What is it?” You prompted.

“Last week, in Seville. I was walking to my hotel room and… Mapi and Ale were ahead of me in the corridor. I don’t think they knew I was there, and I heard them having a conversation just like ours.”

Oh. Oh.

“How sure are you?” Your eyes searched her face, looking for even just an ounce of hesitation that would throw all this out the window for you. But it wasn’t there.

“I’m very sure, snuppa, I heard basically every word.” She said with an almost proud smile. “I don’t think you have to worry about anything. Sounds like Alexia feels the same as you do. And even if I hadn’t overheard that, it’s clear to a lot of us that Alexia felt that way anyway. Think of how much time she has spent with you since you joined. She doesn’t spend that much time with anyone on the team, to be honest.”

That caught your attention. Now that Frido mentions it, Alexia has spent a lot of time with you. There was that morning she took you out for breakfast, something you hadn't ever expected but after it, you wished it would happen every morning. She always chooses to sit next to you at any given point, whether that be in briefings or whilst travelling, as well as opting to partner up with you in training whenever the opportunity arises. She even took time out of her own evening to cook dinner for you and bring it to you once when you told her you had ran out of your meal prep. 

“I guess.” You mumbled with a frown.

“She’s just a girl after all. Like you.”

Once again, the world had decided to show you just how much your life can change with one single conversation.

—

Not that you acted upon anything, of course. Over a month passed by with things staying the same as they had been for a number of weeks before the revelation with Frido. Training, match, recovery day, repeat. Dinner at Ingrid and Mapi’s apartment every Thursday if the season schedule allowed it. Morning jogs on days-off, evenings spent basking in the golden glow of a Spanish sunset, some of the best you’d seen. There may have possibly been a few more breakfast outings with Alexia. And perhaps just one movie night. Or was it two? 

Regardless, the one good thing about having the natural ability to mask all the inner turmoil you had was being able to hide your feelings when you were around Alexia. On the other hand, your trait of analysing every detail of your life became a bit too exhausting. You were overthinking all of your actions - every word you said, the way you said it, what your hands were doing, what someone might interpret from your body language, every little thing you did kept you up at night. 

You definitely still liked her, that might… never go away. Those feelings only grew and weighed you down more and more, but you couldn’t distance yourself from her no matter how loud your mind screamed at you to do so. You liked her company, she ranked almost as high as Ingrid on your list of… list of what? People you liked? People you felt safe with? People you didn’t have to mask at all around? People you lov- too early.

There was just so much to think about, and so few solutions. There were literally two; you either tell her, or you pretend it never happened. What the hell were you meant to do with those options? Both were equally as terrifying. As if your fear of the future couldn’t get any deeper, you were now stood at a crossroads. Alexia could become the most important person in your life, or she could just become another person you leave behind in this free-for-all career. She could just slip into the past and become a distant memory. 

Massive leaps of faith still weren’t your thing. The fear of the unknown still ran rampant through your veins, and though you’d become a little more relaxed about certain things over the years, this was absolutely not one of those exceptions. The prospect of it all was just too overwhelming. Truthfully, you really didn’t think you could do this.

However, things all came to a head during the last training session of the year in December. Literally.

“Ale? Are you okay?” You asked in a strangled groan, one of your hands coming up to your head as you squinted through one eye to look for the woman you’d just clashed with.

“Oye, sit down. Ale is fine, you both hit heads though so you need to be checked for a concussion. Lay down.” Mapi demanded just as you got back up onto your knees. 

At that moment, you couldn’t have cared less about whether you had a concussion or not, all you cared for was that Alexia was okay. She was, maybe a black eye and a subsequent bruise to her ego, but she was fine. You had taken the brunt of it, straight to the temple.

You followed Mapi’s instruction and layed back down, your head already starting to throb quite a bit. Before you knew it, you were surrounded by some of the medical staff as they checked you over. Once they decided you were well enough to sit up, they urged you to do so as one of them came to cradle your neck to keep it steady. A bright light was flashed into your eyes, making you flinch, but they decided then that if you did have a concussion, it wasn’t too bad. The decision was made to take both you and Alexia inside as the rest of training went on, so the pair of you walked gingerly to the physio room. 

“You okay?” Alexia murmured quietly as you both trailed behind the physios a little. You ignored the way your heart fluttered when her hand found your forearm briefly, and instead blamed it on your head injury (though it may not be physically possible for those occurrences to be linked.)

“Mhm. Are you? I’m sorry that happened.” You replied. The collision was a bit hazy for you, you couldn’t exactly remember what had happened so if you were at fault, you had to make sure she knew it wasn’t purposeful. She had to know.

“No, no apologies, it’s just football. Happens all the time.” She reassured you, smiling comfortingly down at you as she held the door open for you.

In the room, the team ushered you both onto separate beds, forcing ice packs into your hands as they carried out more cautionary checks. And to add to the guilt you felt, they decided to rule you both out of the game tomorrow as a precaution. Your stomach dropped, dreading Alexia’s reaction. Everyone knew about her mentality, a missed game was a missed opportunity. You weren’t quite sure you could ever look her in the eye again.

The second the physios said you both could leave, you hopped off the bench and went to make a run for it. The sooner you could get home, the better. If you avoided the conversation, you could avoid the whole situation, and hide until the Winter break ended.

“Cariño, wait!” Alexia called out, managing to gently stop you by your wrist before you could flee. You didn’t put up much of a fight, you just sighed and lowered your head. Alexia gestured for the rest of the staff to leave the room for the time being, and that only made matters worse. Not only was she going to trap you in a conversation, there weren’t even any witnesses. “I just want to talk about something. Could you sit down?”

You had no choice but to entertain her.

Reluctantly, you sat back down on the physio bench you were on a moment ago, and copied Alexia’s position. Perched on the edge, legs hanging off the side, except your hands gripped the fabric of it quite a bit tighter.

“Sorry.” You whispered with a chagrined look to your face, eyes trained on the swing of your legs.

“What? Why?” Alexia asked. The confusion in her voice led you to look up at her with your own questioning glance.

“For getting us ruled out. We can’t play tomorrow now.” You told her, your eyes again looking anywhere in the room but at her. Then again, that always happened, no matter the occasion. 

“I told you that wasn’t your fault, you really don’t need to apologise. I’m not mad at you, so you don’t need to feel guilty or anything. We’re both okay, it’s just for our safety.” Alexia reminded softly, but with the head space you were in, you couldn’t believe her words just yet.

“What about the game though?” You uttered in a way akin to that of a down-trodden child, and Alexia could only smile in return at it.

“The team will handle it, they’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about anything, it’s all out of your control. Chin up.” Alexia said with a coy grin. 

She laughed freely when you physically tilted your head up and squeezed your eyes shut to give a cheesy smile, and the sound of it instantly calmed most of your worries. 

“Is that all you wanted to talk about?” 

“Um, no, actually. There’s another thing.” She scratched the back of her neck nervously as she spoke, and just like that your anxiety came rushing back. “I just, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way, so please tell me if I am because that’s not what I wan-”

Was she about to say it?

“Say it, Ale. Just say it.” You interrupted, because if she was going to say it, you needed it right now. You couldn’t wait a second longer.

“Right. Well…” There was a bright redness to her cheeks, not just from the head-to-head a while ago. “I, um, I… I like you. Really like you, actually. As in, I want to go on a date with you.” 

She actually said it.

“In a romantic way?” Your deadpan tone didn’t exactly help Alexia’s nerves in that moment.

“Uh, I’m not sure there’s any other kind of date, cariño, so yes, in a romantic way.” She laughed nervously. You were quiet for a few moments as you inwardly controlled your emotions so that you didn’t totally freak out in front of the woman who had just asked you on a date. 

You had to play it cool, right? That’s what everyone always said.

“Sure. When?”

It was comical, really. You’d waited this long for something to finally happen between you both, and now it seemed you couldn’t care any less. If Alexia could see into your brain right now though, it would be total chaos. Like a scene straight out of Inside Out.

“I guess now that we can’t play tomorrow and we are the only ones ruled out, we could go to the game together?” 

That was… actually a much better idea than you thought. Normally, people go on dates to the cinema or to restaurants or whatever other hellish activity neurotypicals chose to do. But a football game was common ground, something that the pair of you could talk about forever, and it was an environment that you were familiar with. That could absolutely work. A dream, actually. 

Still, you had to play it cool.

“But I’m already going to the game. And I would have to sit with you anyway. And all you would focus on is the game, it wouldn’t be much of a date.” You were teasing her at this point, whilst also worrying that perhaps you had taken it too far again, but Alexia understood you by now. She’d caught on, and this was her favourite version of you she had seen so far.

“Fine, it doesn’t have to be a date then! You could have just said no instead of breaking my heart!” She argued theatrically, a wave of euphoria rushing through her when you threw your head back and laughed. “How about we go out for food after, that can be our date? We can go to one of the markets and get dinner from a food truck and go on a walk, instead of a restaurant. Does that sound like a better date?”

“Yeah, but I was going to say yes to the football game anyway.” You shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly, a hint of a smirk on your face as you stood up to put your ice pack away. Alexia watched you do so with a huge smile on her face at your antics. You turned back to her, a hand on your hip where you stood not too far away from her now. “Dinner still sounds good though.”

“You are so annoying.” Alexia hopped down off of the bench and wandered over to you with a shake of her head, throwing her own ice pack down next to yours. “You know that?”

“It’s a love language. Get used to it.” 

The midfielder chuckled under her breath. Secretly, she hoped she was able to get used to it.

“Wait, what do I have to wear tomorrow?” Your eyes suddenly went wide in panic, staring up at Alexia like she held all the answers in the world.

“Well, it is just a football game and a walk, so whatever you are comfy in. Why?” 

“Because it’s a date, I don’t know what you expect me to wear.” You fretted. It had been a long time since your last date. And this was quite possibly the most important one so far.

“I have no expectations, cariño, just make sure you’re warm and comfortable.” Alexia brushed it off like it was nothing, a notion that silenced all those doubts once again. She had a real habit of doing that.

“Okay.” You nodded. 

You realised your close proximity then, noticing you were both quite close. There was one thing that came to mind, but it was surely too early for that. No matter how much you wanted it. One step at a time. Instead, you shyly held your arms out and looked up at her.

She immediately knew what you were after, and who was she to deny you of that. You melted into her embrace the second she invited you in, finally being able to relish in the comfort her hugs brought without overthinking it.

“You are quite oblivious, you know?” Alexia stated with a smirk to break the silence. 

“Shut up, you’re ruining it.”

—

You couldn’t sleep that night, you were way too excited for your date. You were like a giddy kid at Christmas, the smile didn’t leave your face for more than a second. Ingrid came around that night with the intention of checking up on you, but she never could have predicted what information she was walking back to her apartment with. When she found out, she thought she was excited, but Mapi, well, she was on a whole other level. Long story short, Bagheera didn’t surface from under the sofa until the Spaniard had long gone to bed. 

The game kicked off at 2pm, meaning from the second you woke up at 7am sharp, you had way too much energy. Nervous energy. But there was one thing you noticed immediately. You didn’t feel scared, or anxious, or like you wanted to totally avoid the whole situation altogether. You were excited. You woke up feeling like a normal girl going on a date with someone they liked. 

It was new. Refreshing. You felt light, you can’t remember the last time you felt that way about something that would normally freak you the hell out. Spending time with Alexia didn’t feel like a chore, the way it did sometimes with anyone in your life. Rather than draining your social battery, it stayed at the same level with her. If you were feeling especially burnt out one day, it didn’t seem so sickening to have Alexia’s company there like it was with the thought of anyone else. Your mind was peacefully empty when with her, unlike the fast-paced monologue that ran pretty much all hours of the day, even when you were asleep. 

For once in your life, you were going to be optimistic. Because the woman you were meeting had never given you any reason to be otherwise.

So when she knocked on your apartment door, opting out of firing a text your way to say she had arrived, the surprise of not only her presence but the bouquet in her arms was met with a bright smile from yourself. You immediately took them from her and bounded towards the kitchen area to tuck them safely into a vase. Alexia gazed at you the whole time, feeling her own sense of disbelief at the situation she had found herself in. Never could she have imagined falling for you like she had when she met you for the first time six months ago, but she was happier than ever because of it.

There was a beaming smile of her own on her face, and her eyes crinkled with unfiltered joy when you leaned up to kiss her cheek quickly, before rushing around the flat to get everything you needed. Sunglasses, your coat to go over the matching jumper and joggers you were wearing (Alexia did tell you to dress comfortably, after all), and a cap for good measure. Between you both, there was a distinct difference between the amount of clothing layers, something that made you laugh.

“What are you laughing at?” Alexia grumbled, watching you adjust your hair in the mirror after putting your hat on, huffing when it wasn’t agreeing with you.

“You look like you’re dressed for a Norwegian winter. It’s ten degrees.”

“That is cold for me, cariño.” She chuckled, before moving to stand between you and the mirror, and helping you to sort your hair how you wanted it. You blushed and lowered your hands, looking up at her with a shy smile as she worked. “There. You look cute. Cosy.”

“Thank you.” You hummed, cheeks aching from the intensity of your smile when Alexia took hold of your hand and gave it a light squeeze. “You look… warm.”

“Enough with your teasing, let’s go.” Alexia tutted, though she kept your hand in hers as the pair of you left your apartment. It wasn’t until you got to the car that you both reluctantly let go, shooting each other a bashful look before getting into Alexia’s car.

When you arrived at the stadium, both of you spent some time with the team in the locker room, and Alexia addressed them all quickly before you left to find your seats. You had full faith in the team, it was luckily just a league game that most of the younger members of the team would be playing anyway. To be honest, you were quite thankful to not be playing, because it had given way for something better instead.

The majority of the game was spent by both of you talking endlessly about football, both tactical discussions about the game and personal stories for you both. For Alexia, she spoke about how she came to love it so much and how it took her family’s relationship and togetherness to a whole new level. For you, you told her how playing football was the only job you could see yourself succeeding in. The system was routine-based, your work attire was a jersey and shorts, and you were indulging in your special interest everyday of the week. It was an autistic’s person dream to be able to do that, something you were grateful for every time you stepped onto a football pitch. Any other work environment, and you might not have survived. 

Alexia hung onto every word you said, just as you did for her. Learning more about each other was something you both took great interest in, because every detail about your past was how you had become the people you were today. Maybe it was too early to class it as such, but falling in love was a phenomenon that people took for granted nowadays. It’s rare, it’s special, and it’s beautiful. Two people, from entirely different backgrounds, leading unique lives with respective struggles and wins the other hadn’t experienced, only to go on and share every high and low together. Yeah, pretty special in your book. 

With you both being in view of the stadium’s crowd, you were mindful of the watchful eyes around. There was one exception though; during the later stages of the game, the other team had quite a fierce counter attack, something that had both you and Alexia on the edges of your seat. Though, as they neared the goal, the match was the last thing on your mind when Alexia’s hand landed on your knee in anxious anticipation. That hand didn’t move, even when Cata saved the shot with ease. Instead, she just settled back into her seat and turned to you with a deep breath out, the tension leaving her. Then she noticed what she’d done, but before she could retract it, you simply gazed up at her and put your hand on top of hers. 

It remained that way until the whistle blew a few minutes later, when you stood up to make your way down to the rest of the team. You got onto the pitch, Alexia and yourself splitting ways to go and talk to your other teammates. Two familiar faces came bounding over to you and before they even spoke, you could tell what they were going to say just by the smiles tugging at their lips.

“How’s it going?” Mapi asked, poking you in the ribs.

“It’s not gone anywhere yet, we were more focused on the game. But it’s been nice, really nice. It doesn’t feel much different to the other times we’ve hung out, is that good or bad?” You replied with a nervous chuckle, and you got your answer in the form of an excited squeal from Ingrid.

“That’s a good thing! That’s what it was like on our first date, right María?” Mapi nodded enthusiastically, giving you a double thumbs up for extra emphasis. “See! I’m sure you’re doing great, skatt, and I am so happy for you.”

“Me too, preciosa, so happy. Think of the double dates!” Mapi shook your arm vigorously at that, the three of you laughing.

“Let me get through the first one, then I’ll think about it.” That sobered the pair of them up as they nodded in a calmer manner, before they both surged forward to wrap you up in a hug.

“Oh- she’s coming, incoming.” Mapi whispered, pulling away and spinning you around.

“Shall we go, cariño? It might be busy there, so the sooner the better.” 

Just like that, you were being whisked away back into Alexia’s car. She drove to the market, which was decorated for the festive seasons, something you gasped at in awe the second you saw it. Alexia fought off a smile at your reaction which she found much more endearing than she thought she would, and she instantly knew it was a good idea to bring you here. Though you were flying back to Norway in a few days’ time for Christmas back at home, she had a feeling you were a bit more homesick than you were letting on, considering the vast difference in the season between Spain and Norway. Her plan to bring you here, not only for a date, but to cheer you up a bit, was already proving to work.

For a couple hours, you went from stall to stall with a childlike wonder, dragging Alexia along behind you with a tight grip on her hand that you said was just because of the busyness of the area, but both of you revelled in it secretly. That became the truth when you were walking away from the market, slowly heading in the direction of Alexia’s car, until she took you in another direction. Turns out, she was leading you to a beautiful walled garden you had no idea even existed, but the second you saw it you fell in love. Even if it may not have been as stunning as it usually was in the summer, it was still more than enough to capture your attention. 

“This is amazing, Ale, how did you know this was here?” You wondered, head on a swivel looking at each tiny detail, as if there wasn’t enough time in the world to admire its beauty.

One day, in the future, Alexia will reveal that that’s how she feels about you. There are layers to you, and she fears she won’t have enough time in her life to uncover and explore each one. You hold beauty in your physical features, that was the first thing she noticed about you, but it’s the grace of your heart and how you proudly wear it on your sleeve that she adores the most. It's the sparkle in your eyes when you ramble about the things you love most, the unabashed care you treat everyone with, your humour that constantly keeps her on her toes, the purity of your soul and how you have enough unconditional love to give to nearly every being on the planet. There’s plenty to love about you, but that still doesn’t feel like enough for her.

“I have lived here for most of my life, preciosa, I know Barcelona like the back of my hand.” She said, and maybe if you weren’t so oblivious, you might have seen the adoration present in her gaze.

“So you’re saying you know more places like this? And you’ve kept them a secret all this time?”

“Yes, I will show you them all, don’t worry.” She chuckled, slowly walking over to where you were stuck staring at an abundance of pansies in one area of the garden. “Those are Alba’s favourite.” 

“This whole place is my favourite. I love it, thank you for taking me here.” You turned your attention from the flowers and back up to Alexia, who didn’t seem to take any interest in her surroundings. She was just smiling down at you. “What are you smiling at?” 

“Hmm?”

“You’re just standing there, smiling. You haven't even looked around yet. What are you smiling like that for?” You asked in utter confusion. She was genuinely just stood there, perfectly still, seemingly lost in her thoughts, with a soft smile on her face that’s directed solely at you. Instead of answering, she laughs, to your annoyance. 

“I’m just happy, cariño. Happy to be here with you, on a date.” She answered, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Oh. Okay.” You said, hoping the dim lighting from the street lamp wasn’t enough for Alexia to see the blush on your cheeks. “I’m really happy too. I can’t believe you like me.”

You didn’t really mean to say that, but the words tumbled out of you regardless.

“Why do you say that?” Alexia questioned with a frown, deftly taking hold of your hands.

“I don’t know.” You mumbled, looking down as your feet fidgeted on the spot, kicking a stone away from underneath you. “I can be a lot, I guess.”

“Well, luckily for you, I have seen your ‘a lot’ and it’s enough for me. You don’t have to worry about that, I promise.” Alexia replied, earnesty clear in her voice. She leaned forward then, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Why do you put yourself down like that?”

“Because I want to be your girlfriend, but I want you to know what you’re getting into.” You told her, taking a slight step back. 

“Loving another human, that’s all I’m getting into.” She took a cautious step closer. “That little voice is taking over, cariño, take a breath with me and know that I’m not going anywhere.”

Trying to calm down is quite hard when there’s a beautiful woman in front of you being so kind that she makes your head spin. Or when she’s giving the softest forehead kisses in all of mankind and holding your hands with a delicateness you’ve never experienced. She’s not just holding your hands right now, she’s got your heart in the palm of her hands.

“I don’t need anyone to take care of me.” You blurted out, sharply stepping back from her again. 

“I know. You are the strongest person I’ve met, and you are more than capable of taking care of yourself. But who’s to say you can’t have someone by your side anyway?” She smiled like it was nothing. As if her words weren’t everything you’d ever wanted to hear. “Are you scared of me leaving?”

“Yes.” You whispered quietly, swallowing the lump in your throat and growing the confidence to look back up into her eyes.

“I’ve learnt a lot about you these past few months. Not a thing I now know has deterred me from you. I don’t think anything could. All I ask is that you take a chance and let me show you how much I adore and admire you. The feelings, the worries and doubts you have, they go both ways, cariño. I am worried that I might not be good enough for you and that I am not what you need. I am scared that I will get things wrong, and that I-”

You had heard enough, she’d proved her point.

You leant up on the balls of your feet, and kissed her. And she returned it almost instantly. Her hands dropped yours and landed on your hips, steadying you on your tip-toes. Yours wrapped around her neck, drawing her somehow closer. And just like everything had been so far with Alexia, it was easy. It was everything you dreamed of and more. Here, somewhere in Barcelona, not only had you made a life for yourself in just six months, you’d gained a new addition to it too. 

Alexia had taught you a lot in the short time you had known her. But there was one thing that stood out to you; she had unknowingly taught you, just through her actions, that love is accommodation and consideration. It’s knowing what the other needs, and being there when they need it. It won’t be 50/50 everyday, in your case there will be times where it’s 90/10, and there will be occasions that are the same for Alexia. Your struggles don’t define you, and Alexia’s don’t define her. You’re worth it, just as much as she is. Just as much as everybody else.

Just because you’re stuck with a label for the rest of your life, a disability that beats you down when you want anything but that, those don’t mean that everything has to be hard. The truth is, when a genuine connection is found, things can be easy. They can be peaceful. With Alexia, you feel seen, as if you’re being mirrored back to yourself. Now, by loving the right person, you realise that other people shouldn’t always make you feel exhausted, they shouldn’t be the reason why you retreat back into yourself, and most importantly they shouldn't make you feel like you’re impossible to love. 

Life will continue to try and break you down, there’s not a soul on earth that can entirely protect you from that, but having Alexia by your side, just like she said, can lessen the burden. After all, a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved, and joy shared is joy doubled. You have to live, you have to feel,  you have to love, you have to take risks. Because if you hadn’t done that all along, where would you be now?

[thebroccolination]

THE EX-MORNING Q23 - FILMING HAS OFFICIALLY WRAPPED!!! (EPISODE 1 AIRS MAY 22nd)

- SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! -

[source: @.kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk_kiat on Instagram]

As unbelievable as it feels to type it, KristSingto's comeback series has at last finished filming! At 23 Qs, "The Ex-Morning" is set to begin airing on Thursday, May 22nd, for ten episodes.

Just as a speed-run refresher for anyone joining, KristSingto debuted together in 2016 as the leads in GMMTV's first proper BL series, "SOTUS," and continued as a branded khuujin ("imaginary couple") while doing joint and solo projects until late 2022, when Singto began a temporary freelance career, and then he rejoined GMMTV officially in January of 2024, a few months before GMMTV announced "The Ex-Morning" in April of 2024. According to Aof, Singto called him at some point in 2023 and asked for a series for him and Krist, so Aof and Jojo collaborated to create an original concept for them.

And now we're only a little over a month from seeing that concept realized into a full series. :')

OKAY SO! Q23 was a lot, so let's dive in. :D

First off, we had Aou, Earn, and Jamie all check in:

Those of us who clocked Q22 as a potential proposal location had our eyes out for signs of a wedding in Q23, and that led to some extremely amusing shenanigans between the fans and the crew.

This already felt very promising.

Then we got these photos of who do very much appear to be wedding guests and a traditional band:

[source: Facebook]

This is all pretty solid, right? Well. Then this Instagram story popped up and caused absolute mayhem:

First of all, a bride and a groom? And what's "YK"??? I was at work, so I didn't give either of those things much thought, just went along with my day still assuming we were all happily basking in the forthcoming marriage ceremony of Pathapi and Tamtawan.

Then I got a message telling me the fandom was melting down and the crew were teasing them saying it wasn't their wedding, they were just guests. :)))))

Also, apparently that same account first posted that photo with the emoji of two men kissing, then quickly deleted it and re-uploaded the version above.

I imagine the crew were like, "Let's be gremlins," and frankly, I applaud that sort of sinister shenanigan.

Not to be tricked, though, fans began the kind of detective work that should both impress and intimidate:

Now, if you're like me, you probably zoomed in and thought, "I can't see anything," and moved on.

But if you look even more closely, you'll notice two salient details:

The PT of "Pathapi" and "Tamtawan" on the left, and their photo on the right. Also, can we discuss, in detail, how intimate that PT looks? Because damn.

So that was it, right?

I mean, that's quite enough to go by, right? To know it's their wedding? (Plus, y'know, the fact that Peraya would chop the Grammy building down with a very big axe if they used KristSingto's comeback series to marry off a different couple.)

WELL.

Fans also spotted Singto in the background of one of Jamie's videos wearing what seems to be a wedding garland.

Explained in this magnificent post by @thaifanfests:

Floral garlands, generally known as phuang malai (พวงมาลัย) symbolize respect and luck across Thai culture. Garlands and other forms of floral art were historically used in various royal and religious ceremonies and are traditionally made with fresh flowers. Garlands are handmade, with the garland highly symbolic of the patience and attention needed for the threading process. Today, you can find markets and stalls that sell garlands of all shapes, sizes, and arrangement types across Thailand. Some of the flowers used for phuang malai include jasmine, champaca, orchids, marigolds, and gardenias. 

So fans were content at that point that they'd been trolled by an endearing crew of gremlins and a repeat of "Ossan's Love: Love or Dead" (2019) wasn't in the making. (In which the movie did marry off a different couple. A straight couple no less. Of brand new characters. They made up for it in 2023 by having Maki and Haruta's actual wedding in the sequel series, but ooooh was I mad for those three and a half years in the middle there.)

And now, please join me in having so many feelings about these two pairs of formal shoes beside one another at the temple:

[Oh, this series is gonna make me cryyy.]

Filming continued elsewhere after the wedding and wrapped in what seems to be a pet shop with their cat daughter.

We have a few videos from different angles of the final wrap moment in the clips below, but I took some screenshots for y'all to enjoy as well:

After celebrating, KristSingto took commemorative photos:

And that was it! All that's left now is several weeks of postproduction and promotion, and then we'll officially have Pathapi and Tamtawan as the newest part of KristSingto's legacy. <3

But wait…

There's more. :>

We've also been getting some extra treats from the crew over the past twenty-four hours since filming wrapped, liiiike:

I'm gonna guess those could be flashback sequences to their uni days but I won't be sure until we see the show.

And now, the last assortment of clips! There's a ton in there this time, so have a li'l watch. The first clip is going to be in the series itself, I feel?

As I've said and won't tire of saying, I'm so very proud of them, and I couldn't be happier seeing how happy they are. Not only is it a comeback series, it's the first one I'm going to get to experience since I became a fan of them five years ago. I always knew they'd have another series together, I just thought it would be even farther in the future. It's really special knowing it's so soon, and that it's a series hand-crafted for them.

I know there's some disappointment that it's not airing on a Saturday and that it's ten episodes instead of twelve, but considering the rewrites it underwent in December and the fact that they are a legacy khuujin who had a pivotal role in the industry becoming what it is, I think this series is, more than anything, a love letter to their existing fans who waited for them all these years. They've said as much already. As long as it's a tightly written script worthy of them, I don't mind that it's two episodes shorter than I expected. As I've been saying to friends today, "SOTUS S" would be about eight episodes if you cut all the side couples.

I'm so excited to see this story, mainly because Big, Nuanced Emotions are KristSingto's wheelhouse, and the two of them have grown enormously as actors since the last time they acted opposite each other. They've both said they feel safe with each other, and their trust in one another makes working together easy. I think now that they've both had experience working with others, they probably appreciate that ease of working with each other even more. And I can't wait to see what they've created together. :')

Thank you all for joining me in recapping the past twenty-three filming days of "The Ex-Morning"! I'm hoping once the series begins we can use these posts as a reference to go back and connect the dots to when certain scenes were filmed. It's always fun to figure out the order something was filmed in. :D

I'll still be posting under the "#special reporter kiranokira" tag with all upcoming promotion and sneak peeks, so y'all haven't heard the last of me. :>

(I doubt anyone was under that impression.)

Special reporter Kiranokira out!

[1moreff-creator]

A Summary of the Levi!Accomplice Theory + How We Got Here (DRDT CH2)

Hey there! So a while ago I made a post about the CH 2 murder method, but I missed some pretty crucial information. You might know me and @thebadjoe had a pretty long thread back and forth talking about the murder, which lead to me reworking a lot of the original theory. However, that thread is extremely long and frankly quite confusing to read, so I thought it would be good to summarize what the final theory actually looks like in a separate post. This was sorta inspired by thebadjoe making a similar post about his own theory (which is Eden working alone, but disguising herself as Arei at one point), which I absolutely recommend you read as it’s probably one of the best DRDT-related posts I’ve seen on Tumblr.

If you’re here simply for a summary of the Levi!Accomplice Eden!Culprit theory, then simply skip to the Closing Argument of this post. You should be able to understand it on its own. However, I think it would also be nice to explain how I reached the conclusions I did, which is what the start of the post will be. Othersie I'm gonna look completely unhinged, and that's not good, I'm only kinda unhinged! If you’re interested, then I hope you enjoy!

CW: Murder, betrayal (Eden!Culprit), hanging (including geometric depictions), suicidal thoughts, one mention of self harm.

(Also, the Ace almost-murder won’t really be touched on much here, but there is a thread where me, venus-is-thinking, accirax and thebadjoe all went crazy trying to explain the blood on the wires. It’s about as difficult to follow as the other one, but eh)

The First Step Into Madness

(This part goes over a bit of the same from my OG post, which is why it sorta ignores other theories. There may be some assumptions made which are not necessarily true under other theories. Feel free to skip this if you read the first post and don’t need a refresher)

It all started when I made the original post where I discussed the murder method. I was left very intrigued after watching DRDT for the first time, so I wanted to see if there was some way to figure out how the murder was carried out, and to see if that pointed to any culprit.

-The first thing to note is that EP 11 cuts off when Charles is about to confront David on something related to the time of death, based on when he cuts in. This would imply the murder did not happen the night of the third day as the characters had assumed. Seeing as Arei was last seen at noon of that third day and I wasn’t aware of disguise theory, I figured the murder actually happened at 7:30 AM the morning of the day of the investigation, which I still believe. The fish could have been simply taken before nighttime and kept in the water jugs.

-What this means is that the culprit had time to set up an elaborate murder mechanism overnight, which is what the rest of the evidence around the crime scene would appear to imply.

-One of the reasons to believe a mechanism was involved is the flickering light of the playground. For a while, I genuinely had no idea how the hell that would happen. Even if there was a secret passage from the Movie Screening Room, proving that in trial would be nigh impossible.

-However, sometimes to solve a mystery, all you gotta do is mash random things together until something sorta looks like it fits. And what was a thing I didn’t know how to place? The ball of clothes.

-The idea here is to attach the rope to the ball of clothes and throw it over the railing, that way you can get the rope to go over there without having to get up there yourself. On the way up, the clothes would hit the light and displace the lightbulb, causing it to flicker.

-But why would you need rope over the railing? Well, if you were interested in creating a pulley system to make something go high into the air, you would need the rope there. And a pulley system is the first thing I thought of when I saw the spinny thing had tape on it, and thus was likely involved. This is what I envisioned.

Note how the rope is first looped between the handlebars to make sure it actually does the thing it’s supposed to. There may be other ways to set up the pulley, but the important thing is, a pulley was likely involved.

-So we got a pulley, but what are we pulleying? Presumably Arei, getting her higher up so her neck could snap instantly when she dropped down. As Veronika stated, her neck wouldn’t have snapped unless she weighed more or she dropped from higher up.

-Unless she weighed more, huh? That’s an interesting thing to specify. How would she weigh more? Unless, there was something which weighed her down.

-One thing which always struck me as odd about the water jugs is how oddly the handles are snapped.

-After thinking about how that could have happened, I realized maybe they had been snapped due to the action of rope. If you tie rope around the handles and pull hard, they would snap just like that.

-And what’s the deal with that? As I said, perhaps Arei was weighed down by something. And here is the answer. Since we know there were two pieces of rope (one found around Arei’s neck and a longer piece under the spinny thing), I believed the jugs were attached to her via rope to weigh her down.

-That way, the culprit could further ensure Arei’s neck would snap once she fell and the pulley system was stopped.

-Because yes, the culprit would need to stop the pulley system from spinning back all the way, otherwise Arei would just fall to the floor. And since her broken neck is the only injury apart from red marks on her wrist, that clearly didn’t happen.

-And my answer for that… was frankly just brute forcing it and stopping it by hand. See, I was sorta coming in after watching a cool video by Ocean Unknown, and I was already kinda thinking Levi was probably the culprit, which is why this feat of strength didn’t seem too insane for me. In retrospect, I may have been underestimating the strength required to do that.

-Anyways, the rest isn’t too hard to figure out. Make the note, ambush Arei when she arrived at the playground, with the ensuing struggle resulting in the scuffed floor, put tape on her wrists, put the noose around her neck, pulley, let her fall a bit and stop her so her neck snaps, prop her up so the murder looks vaguely like a suicide, throw some stuff in the trash, profit. You may have noticed I didn’t talk about the fact Arei doesn’t have her glove in the BDA, because… well, frankly I just hadn’t noticed that at the time. The fish are to confuse the time of death, and the tape was likely taken from the gym and used to have a better grip on the spinny thing as the culprit spun it.

…

The tape was taken from the gym?

The Curious Case of the Tape Thief

(Or: BY GOD IT’S THEBADJOE WITH A STEEL CHAIR! /lh)

So, what you may have noticed is that the method I came up with doesn’t really point to anyone in particular, but there’s a detail I hadn’t noticed when I first made that post. The time the tape was taken.

Thebadjoe had already pointed it out on his blog, and was kind enough to reblog my own post with this information. Turns out, he realized that in Ep 6, at around the time Ace wakes up, the roll of the tape previously on the floor disappears from the background. Which means it was taken by someone who was at the gym at that point.

Now, you might be wondering if maybe that’s just an animation error. After all, it’s not like this is evidence that can be brought up in the trial.

Except, it can be deduced. With lockdown logic. Let’s look at the facts:

-The tape was on the floor after Nico leaves the gym.

-The last people in the gym before the lockdown begun were Teruko, Ace and Eden.

-No one but MonoTV could enter the gym during the lockdown.

-Rose and Teruko are the first people to enter the gym after the lockdown, stated explicitly by MonoTV.

-But by the time Rose and Teruko are there, the tape has disappeared. And there is special attention brought to the fact the tape’s disappeared.

So the tape couldn’t have disappeared during the lockdown (unless MonoTV took it out, but why would it do that), and it can’t have been taken after since Rose and Teruko were the first people there after it ended. Since that roll of tape was still on the floor when Nico left, that means the tape disappeared when only Teruko, Ace and Eden were in the gym.

Teruko couldn’t have taken it, protag privilege.

I’ve seen Ace thrown out as a possibility, but it just doesn’t really work. Teruko was inspecting his body right before he wakes up, and she never has a reason to look away after he wakes up. She never saw him pick up the tape, though, so it seems unlikely he did. Not to mention the lack of blood on the tape when Ace had blood on his hands the whole time, or the general weirdness of him taking the tape and, like, pocketing it in the first place. Why would he do that? If he wanted a weapon, he’d have taken the wire which was nearby, right?

So, the most logical answer is that Eden took the tape. In fact, she gets knocked down to the floor right around the time the tape disappears from the background.

So, now we ask, why did Eden take the tape? The issue is that there really is no reason for her to do that, unless she went down to the second floor specifically with the intention of picking up the tape (and maybe some other stuff). However, she never tells Teruko she wanted to pick up the tape, which combined with the fact she takes it sneakily and without anyone noticing, would suggest she wanted it for nefarious purposes. This is where the Eden!Culprit theory comes from.

There simply is no good answer as to why she took the tape otherwise. Even other theories I’ve seen, which suggest perhaps the killer intentionally used the tape to frame Eden, can’t really explain why Eden would take it without warning in the first place.

Thus, the only issue left is… would Eden really do this? How can the nicest person in the killing game betray a friend like that? Well, it’s not as impossible as you may think.

Of Motivations And Narrative Consequence

(Or: venus and accirax come in clutch)

You may have seen this post by DRDT Tumblr’s dynamic duo of @venus-is-thinking and @accirax circulating around, and I recommend you read it if you want a full exploration of why Eden!Culprit works from a character and narrative standpoint. They explained everything way better than I ever could, so I’m not gonna dwell on it too much and just ask you do your assigned reading if you’re interested.

However, as a short summary of the main points:

-Motive: Eden is a very caring person, who has several people she’d want to return to outside of the killing game. Her family, which she speaks about with Levi in the first scene of the chapter, and possibly even the girl mentioned in her secret. The incident with Arturo could have scared her into taking more drastic action so she could go back to the real world. Note the secret quote on her page is “You can’t go back, no matter how hard you try.” She’s likely not secretly evil or anything. And the fact she kept trying to go against the killing game, but ultimately never achieved anything, could have led to her feeling completely hopeless.

-Why Arei?: Because it was the easiest option, most likely. It was implied in the ep 10 flashback that Eden may not have believed Arei when she claimed she wanted to be friends, and that she may have only realized she genuinely did during the trial. Also worth noting, they’re paired together in the CH 1 recap, which implies they’re at least important to each other’s stories.

-Wouldn’t this just prove Teruko right? And wouldn’t that be narratively redundant?: Oh, yes. It would very explicitly prove Teruko right.

Teruko: Sooner or later that kindness of yours will have you breaking down, until you’re too overwhelmed with grief to be able to act. That’s not how I plan to live.

But the thing is, Teruko has already been proven right this chapter. Even beyond all the scuffles around the secrets, you have Nico, seemingly one of the most harmless people in the killing game, admitting to trying to kill Ace; and you also have David, who almost everyone trusted and viewed as a sort of leader, being revealed as a liar and a manipulative asshole.

(Yes I know both of them are a bit more complex than that but that’s not the point.)

In fact, Teruko was explicitly right about David too. Not to mention, someone killed Arei or J if you’re inclined to believe that, which won’t exactly do wonders for trust in the group.

The point, as venus and accirax pointed out, is to show the audience how Teruko’s life usually is. Full of betrayal and misfortune. This is to set up the theme of fate and change that runs deeply through Teruko’s character, and that I’m not gonna explain here.

And while you could say Teruko doubling down on not trusting anyone would be redundant, you have to consider the rest of the group as well. While they mostly held it together after the first trial with a few exceptions, Eden being the killer, combined with everything else that happened in the chapter, would cause way more damage to the whole group’s sense of trust, leading to a very different atmosphere for chapter 3. So I don’t really think it would be redundant at all.

-What about the handwriting sample?: What about the handwriting sample? The note is in cursive, Eden writes her sample in print.

Obviously it's gonna look different. If anything, the fact she specifically writes in print could be seen as her hiding her cursive handwriting, which looks suspicious to me.

-Why help piece together the note in the first place? And why would she fight back against the idea of Arei committing suicide?: Because she would presumably want to build a narrative that she and Arei were friends, to make people trust her more. I mean, it worked, since people immediately jumped on Arturo when they first heard the full story.

-And more! Again, read the full post for more details.

So… now we circle back. Eden’s probably the killer, but what does that mean for the method?

A Method In Shambles

One of the main issues this brings to the method is Eden’s strength. She’s very weak, as has been established in both the most recent QnA and in the series itself (see: arm-wrestling scene, where Arei specifically excludes Eden for being weak). She wouldn’t be able to pull Arei + water jugs up with the pulley system herself.

…Or maybe she could? But it would be very tight, and I think we’re not supposed to pull out the physics and calculators to figure out it would only be the equivalent of lifting like thirty pounds as accirax implied in one line of this really good post. Point is, it doesn’t look like she could, which is more important imo.

Even then, it would also be really difficult for Eden to prop up the body like we see in the BDA.

Speaking of BDA, that’s another issue. The BDA rule states it takes “three people who did not witness the murder” to see the body before the announcement plays. So how did it play after only Whit, Teruko and Eden had found it? Surely Eden as the killer would count as a witness with the method I established earlier.

But the biggest issue for Eden!Culprit are actually the fish. Because while Eden doesn’t have an alibi for the time of death, she does have an alibi for the time of the fish’s disappearance. Think about it: Nico fed them presumably at around 7:00 PM, since they later see David going down at around 7:30, and 7:00 is likely the time when communal dinner ended as it’s also the time Eden and Hu begun washing the dishes together. We know from Nico the fish were still all there by the time Eden’s alibi with Hu begins.

And that alibi lasts all the way until nighttime, when the relax room locks down for the night. And it doesn’t open again until after the murder was supposedly committed at 7:30 AM. So Eden couldn’t have taken it the morning after.

The fish in particular are an issue for Eden!Culprit, because while everything else is odd, this particular thing makes it impossible for Eden herself to have set up the crime scene as we see it. And unless Ace is lying for no good reason, Arei was still alive the night of the third day, so it likely wasn’t set up by anyone uninvolved in the murder.

In the end, although Eden feels like she should be the culprit, she couldn’t have done everything alone.

…

She couldn’t have done everything… alone.

…

:)

The Rise of the Accomplice

Eden is a very trusting, very sociable person. So if there are things in the crime scene she couldn’t have done alone, is it unbelievable to assume she may have had an accomplice?

Let’s ignore the “who” for now and see if this idea holds up. The accomplice would be in charge of taking the fish out of the relax room during nighttime, a tactic to confuse the time of death and give Eden a fake alibi. They would also be in charge of overpowering Arei when she first arrived at the playground.

After pinning her down, wrapping her wrists with tape and possibly her legs too if needed (there were two pieces of tape in the trash, when strictly speaking you would only need one for the wrists. Arei has long socks, so marks wouldn’t be visible on her legs), the accomplice would also be in charge of lifting up Arei into the sky. The exact logistics of how the accomplice would go about this are a bit awkward (they would probably have to run quite fast to the spinny thing so Arei doesn’t get a chance to stand up and try something), but I don’t think it’s outright impossible.

Now, here’s where the trick comes in. Since Eden was the one who likely planned the murder (she had been preparing since Night 2, after all), the goal would be to make her the blackened. Here’s how I think that would be done.

The accomplice would hand off the spinny thing to Eden once Arei was high up enough, and Eden would be the one to let go off the carousel so Arei’s neck breaks. But how does it stop?

Well, you remember the second, shorter piece of rope, which I had originally said would be for the water jugs? Instead of that, they would use it as a stopper rope. The idea is to attach one end to the swing set near the spinny thing, but leave the other end by itself. Then, once Arei was high in the air, one of the two culprits (let’s say Eden) would tie the unused end to the spinny thing. That way, when they let Arei fall, the shorter rope would tense before she went all the way to the floor (you can make sure this happens by using a lot of the rope on the knot on the swing set), and stop the carousel abruptly mid fall. This is what would cause Arei’s neck to snap.

(Ignore the text)

This means the water jugs would need to be attached to Arei in some other way. Possibly by making the noose in such a way that you have rope to spare and you can put the jugs there?

Looks a bit wonky, but I think it can work! Or, at least, Eden could conceivably think it would help, which is all that’s technically necessary.

If you’re not convinced, there could also be a third, extremely short piece of rope being kept in Eden’s fanny pack which was used to put the jugs at Arei’s feet. I don’t quite like this answer too much, since it relies on evidence we don’t have (Russel’s Teapot and all that), but it’s there.

——————————————————————————————————

Surprise! Alternative Method Bonanza!

So you remember how thebadjoe has a really good theory on the murder which is Eden!Solo? That means he has a different method for the murder mechanism itself, as Eden sort of can’t do my method herself.

And I am gonna steal it! Like a thief!

Essentially, if you’re not convinced by the hanging method, you can instead copy and paste joe’s method to my accomplice theory, with a few modifications.

Joe’s method takes my idea of a stopper rope, but instead of attaching one end to the swing set, it’s attached to Arei’s neck. The pulley system is instead used to pull up only the water jugs, the rope attached to their handles, which Eden should be able to do herself. The idea is that, after pulling the water jugs up and attaching the shorter rope to Arei’s neck, when you let them fall, if Arei’s neck is secured in place, when the stopper tenses, it will snap her neck.

Now, in his method that involves knocking out Arei with turpentine (long story) and securing her with tape, but with the accomplice idea, and since I don’t think Eden has turpentine, it may be better for the accomplice to just hold down Arei’s body themself. Though that runs into the issue of “why put tape on her wrists then”, which isn’t a method with joe’s original method and rather an issue of translation to the accomplice idea.

Because of that, and because there’s a particular thing I’ll talk about in a moment, I think my method is still slightly more plausible for the accomplice idea, which is why I won’t bring this up again, but I did want to point out that it’s technically a possibility.

——————————————————————————————————

Any other changes? Yes, actually.

-You remember the starch on the ball of clothes? Well, joe suggested it may come from the enriched formula used in the relax room, as starch is often used to stimulate plant growth or something along those lines. Meaning the clothes spent a night inside the relax room. I agree with this, as I have no idea why starch would be there otherwise.

The question now is when the clothes spent the night. It can’t be Night 3, as Arei died before the relax room opened again at 8:00 AmM. So it would have to be in the second night. And where was Eden that night?

Eden: I noticed you didn’t take any of your new clothes, so I was going to deliver them to you!

Ah, right. On the second floor. In the dress-up room. Totally not suspicious behavior.

Basically, I think Eden went to the second floor to put the clothes in the relax room and pick up the tape, but once nighttime begun, she realized Ace was still in the gym, and decided to wait it out so as to not be spotted in a suspicious place. Unfortunately for her, Ace was busy getting murdered by Nico, so she ended up getting caught by Teruko, and had to course correct.

But why would she need the ball of clothes? Couldn’t she have just grabbed, like, anything else to throw over the railing?

Well… yeah, but. It may have been hard for her to find anything more convenient than the ball of clothes. I’ve seen the roll of tape suggested, but the rope may not have been able to fit through the hole in the middle. Maybe yes, maybe no, depending on what’s most convenient for your theory. That’s not sarcasm, it’s just that there’s no good way of checking how big the hole is.

Throwing a ball of clothes would be a lot easier than throwing a lot of other things. Maybe it’s a bit weird, but I don’t find it completely unbelievable that Eden considered it the best option.

-To make the whole ordeal easier, it would be best to make sure the “noose” end of the longer rope dangles from the railing over the seesaw, closer to the entrance, so they don’t have to move Arei around too much. They could easily do this by just throwing the ball of clothes around a couple of times.

-The BDA is an issue, since the accomplice would also be a “witness” and thus not count. But this can be solved quite simply. For one, there could be a loophole where if Eden just looks away when Arei’s neck breaks, then she’s not a “witness” and she counts. If that sounds too stupid, there’s another answer. To make absolutely sure Eden would be counted as the blackened, the accomplice would leave the room entirely while Eden holds Arei up in the air. That way, the moment they enter again, they would see the corpse without being a “witness” to the murder, and so they count. Add to the accomplice/Eden the view of Whit and Teruko, and you have the three you need for the BDA.

-That’s also my answer to why Eden shouts “Teruko, wait!” right before Teruko opens the door to the playground. Logically, she knew the BDA would play, which is why she didn’t act nervous when Teruko first offered to search in a group of three, but she second-guessed herself right before they got there. I’m sure we’ve all had an experience like that before, where logically we know one thing will happen, but we still get nervous right before the thing happens because we’re worried it might go wrong.

-The Achilles Heel of this theory is the missing bowling glove from Arei’s left hand. I have exactly one explanation for it, and it’s kinda stupid. Essentially, I believe the accomplice took the glove for themselves, to reveal it during the trial if people start accusing Eden. The idea would be that showing people that glove should hopefully get them to vote for the accomplice without thinking about it too much, but since Eden is the real blackened, they would lose and Eden would escape.

Imagine a big reveal, with a little animation like David’s “guilty as charged”, where the accomplice takes out the glove from their pocket and they say “I killed Arei” or something. That’s kinda what I’m envisioning.

So… that’s basically the method. And now, we have to answer the age old question:

but, like, why though

And this, this is the question that makes me believe the accomplice idea more than any other. Because it gives a proper reason for why the method had to be so complicated.

See, there is one fundamental contradiction in the evidence we see, one which has to be solved in some way. Arei’s wrists were bound, but given the rest of the evidence, there was a mechanism involved in her murder.

Why is that an issue? Because if you bind her wrists, then there is no reason not to just kill her in a much easier, simpler way. And there’s no reason to bind her wrists after killing her, either. So why would the killer go through all this trouble?

demodraws0606 (not sure they’d want to be tagged) suggested in this post, under Levi!Culprit, that maybe Levi was trying to frame Eden, and to do that, he had to make sure the BDA wouldn’t rule her out. And while that’s a really good post and a pretty interesting idea, the main issue with the plan of framing Eden in general are the fish. Levi maybe wouldn’t know for sure whether or not Eden would have an alibi, but just in case, it would be much safer to just fill the water jugs with water from a sink or something. The fish could only ever exclude Eden, never incriminate her.

Joe’s method assumes Eden simply used a complex method to distance herself from the murder in a way. Working on mechanisms would calm her as a clockmaker, so she feels more comfortable with murder if she can do it with a mechanism. This is cool, and while I personally think it’s a bit underwhelming, it could work. But it only works if Eden!Solo works, and then you have to explain the fish again. Joe says David brought them there, but, I don’t agree. Doesn’t mean it’s wrong, obviously, just that I personally don’t see it given what we have. I think David genuinely thinks Arei committed suicide because of him.

David: Of course. Of course this would happen.

So, yeah.

And because the why is so hard to explain, I think it’s important to explain it. And wouldn’t you guess it, my method does explain it.

It goes back to the origin of the accomplice idea. Eden couldn’t have done this on her own.

Let’s be clear; an accomplice is a huge leap in logic. One that I feel comfortable making given everything, but one which would take the characters a while to figure out. One which they may reject in principle. There’s no benefit for an accomplice after all, right?

I’ll address that in a moment, but let’s get back to the main point. Eden couldn’t have done this on her own, and because of that, the method in itself is an alibi for her.

Think about it. Because she is clearly not strong enough to lift Arei up into the air (or at least, that’s what it looks like), what happens if someone starts pointing fingers at Eden? Well, all she has to do to absolve herself is insist they speak about the method, and guide them in the general direction of the right answer. Once they start thinking the murderer would need to be strong enough to pull Arei + water jugs up into the air, they would instantly dismiss Eden as a possibility, until the idea of an accomplice is revisited.

This is, by the way, why I think the Hanging Method works better than the Neck Stopper Method under Accomplice Theory-

(ok the nomenclature is starting to get out of hand)

-, because it requires more strength to use the pulley.

But the point is the same. This method actually provides an explanation to why a mechanism was necessary when Arei’s wrists were bound. It was to give Eden a defense.

And that’s also where the fish come in. Because the most straightforward explanation for why the fish would be there would be that the killer would want to confuse the time of death. But why? The time the fish were taken is the same time frame the characters currently believe the murder happened at, so the alibis don’t change. If the killer wanted to give themselves an alibi for the supposed time of death, they would need to have an alibi for the time the fish were taken. But if they have an alibi for the time the fish were taken, they couldn’t have taken the fish!

Provided Nico is telling the truth about the fish, but I really don’t see why they’d be lying. I really doubt they’re the killer.

Thus, unless the fish somehow got there through a third party entirely (which I find unlikely, as Veronika had an alibi and no one else would really want to hide that they found a dead body for a night), it’s very possible the accomplice brought the fish to give the real killer an alibi.

So, that’s the big reason I have for believing there was an accomplice. It’s the best explanation for the fish and the motivation behind the creation of a mechanism I can find, but of course, that’s my opinion. There’s a bit more to it actually, but before we get there, we have to ask:

OMG, Who Did This?!

What we know about the accomplice for now is that they must not have an alibi for the time the fish were taken. This leaves us with Ace, Nico, Rose, Arei, Levi, and David. We can also add Hu to the list, as her only alibi is Eden, and, well.

Out of hand, I'm gonna eliminate Nico, Ace and David, as I really don't think their characters fit the accomplice idea at all, I hope you can forgive me.

I gave Arei a fair bit of thought, since narratively I could see it working, but I just don’t think it’s physically possible. One of the things which got me to believe there was an accomplice was that it would be really difficult for Eden to string up Arei’s corpse herself, and Arei wouldn’t be able to help with that on account of being dead.

So, then there three.

Was it Rose?

An interesting possibility. She was the first one to suggest looking in the trash, which helps Eden build the narrative she and Arei were friends, and she was one of the people who suggested voting for David on Ep 11, claiming she didn’t want the trial to go on any longer. However, that’s pretty circumstantial, and I don’t think there’s much else connecting her to the crime. I also don’t know how much stronger she is than Eden, but that’s neither here nor there. Overall, a possible candidate, but not extremely plausible.

Was it Hu?

Hey, have you ever thought about how weird it was that Hu and Eden never spoke during the conversation Teruko, Charles, Whit and David had right before David went to the relax room on night three? They were supposed to be cleaning up after dinner at that point, according to their alibi, so what gives?

Well, frankly, I just think they weren’t in the kitchen, but probably just cleaning in the cafeteria itself. But maybe Hu and Eden are lying!

Hu could work as an accomplice, given her caring nature and the fact she probably has the “hopeless child” secret, meaning she’s attempted suicide. Thus, she may be willing to throw away her life for Eden’s, which is the biggest obstacle for the accomplice idea.

Her secret quote could allude to it. “I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live.” The issue there is… well, that could be referring to quite literally anything else, so.

I consider Hu the second likeliest candidate for accomplice because of all that, but… frankly, I still don’t see it. The way she acts during the trial doesn’t suggest she’s doing anything of the sort, and there are reasons she wouldn’t want anyone to get away with murder. Mainly everyone else’s lives. Also, she has even less arm strength than Rose, seeing as she lost at arm wrestling with her.

There’s probably more discussion to be had regarding Hu as an accomplice, but frankly, I don’t think it’s necessary for now. Because there is one person who fits the bill much better than Hu, and has much deeper connections to both Eden and the murder.

You read the title of the post. You know who I think the accomplice is. Let’s go.

Yeah, it’s Levi

(How’s that for a callback?)

Levi is probably the most widely believed culprit theory, and for good reason. He acts very suspiciously all throughout the investigation and the trial. He is the first to call up MonoTV to start voting after David’s reveal, he throws accusations quite liberally, his profile states he dislikes unpredictable people like Arei, the ball of clothes and even the missing glove being involved connects him to the method through his talent…

The main thing is the secret motive. Not only did Levi receive Arei’s, without the context Arei gave David and Teruko in the playground, it is widely speculated that Arei received Levi’s secret through sheer process of elimination. Won’t get into it here, many people have already talked about it, so just trust me bro.

Not to mention the whole “good person” fiasco. Essentially, Ch 2 has the title “All That Glitters”, with the secret title “A Good Person”. Clearly, put together you get “Not All That Glitters Is Gold” -> “Not All That Glitters Is A Good Person.”

And as far as I can tell, there are only a few people who have been referred to using the specific words “good person” in this chapter:

-Teruko: She dissuades Whit from calling her a good person because she’ll feel bad when she’s not.

-David: Hu calls him a good person right before his Ep 11 heel turn.

EDIT: I misremebered, the line is actually "good friend." Ah, oops.

-Eden: Levi calls her a good person in the beginning of the chapter.

-Arei: Says she will prove to Eden she can be a good person.

-Levi: Eden calls him a good person at the beginning of the chapter.

Hopefully I didn’t miss any.

You’ll notice the common thread is plot relevance in CH 2. Teruko’s the protag, David pushed the plot forward by getting people to reveal their secrets and also had his heel turn (EDIT: But he wasn't called a good person so), Eden has been a huge part of the chapter and she might be the killer, and Arei is the victim.

The outlier is Levi, which would suggest he’ll come to be plot relevant soon enough. I don’t think just getting his secret revealed would be enough to put him up there in importance with the most influential people in the entire chapter, so he’s probably heavily involved in the murder. And since I don’t think he’s the killer, accomplice it is, baby.

There is even a particular moment we can point to as the moment Levi may have given up on the group as a whole.

Levi: Why do I even bother?

Right after Ace refuses his help after almost getting murdered. And Eden’s right there.

Finally, his secret quote is “I always believed that a person is defined by their actions alone. But maybe that’s just a poor excuse for my heartlessness.” That’s interesting, because in this context, it could be he never believed Arei wanted to change, as her previous actions contradicted the words she said to Eden. But maybe that’s a poor excuse for his heartlessness, as Arei did want to change.

There’s more I could bring up, like the fun fact Levi’s profile states he likes suckers (candy) and Eden’s states she likes sweet things (that’s insanely circumstantial and confirmation bias-y, but sure I’ll bring it up), but I think venus and accirax may be wanting to make a narrative defense of the Levi!Accomplice theory, so I’ll leave it to them, since they’ll probably do better than I could. Lord knows they did better on Eden than me.

Not gonna lie I’m kinda making this so they can just link back here instead of the insanity train the original thread was-

Final Issues

No theory is perfect, and this one isn’t an exception. While I think the theory mostly covers all the evidence in the scene quite satisfactorily, the explanations for the BDA, the glove and the shape of the scuffed floor (but how do you explain that shape) are a bit shaky. There’s also a few awkward moments of timing and character’s actions, like the whole Ace almost-murder situation being sorta awkward with Eden’s presence in the second floor, and in particular that Arei apparently spent almost an entire day inside her room. That’s sorta gonna be an issue for everyone unless you believe Ace is lying about the day her conversation with David happened, which… okay, isn’t as insane as it sounds, read joe’s theory, but I still consider a bigger leap than simply assuming Arei took a real long nap.

And of course, as much as I’ve ignored it, it’s still insanely risky for Eden to work with an accomplice, and we have to assume Levi was willing to die and get everyone else killed just to get Eden out of there. I’ll try my best to explain how I think that could happen in the Closing Argument.

However, it’s all in all, in my opinion, not too bad. Everything is pretty physically plausible, there are narrative justifications for practically everything, and the few inconsistencies aren’t too large or obnoxious for me to consider damning. I’m still open to other theories, of course, but for now, this is the thing I believe.

-

So, now that we’ve established how I arrived at my conclusions, it’s time for what everyone’s been waiting for!

Closing Argument

Keep in mind character motivations and especially unseen dialogue could vary quite a lot. The main thing to take away is the actual method, everything else is sorta flavor text. This… really is a lot longer than it has any right to be. I kinda got carried away trying to show how I think the characters would act. Sorry.

I’ll mark with “>” the parts which are mostly just for spice, “~” the actually important parts, and just for fun I’ll add predictions to how the end of the trial will go with “+”.

I am extremely sorry if I mischaracterize anyone. I’m not good at writing dialogue, but I think it’s worth trying to give a better impression of what’s going on in my head.

(Days start counting after the start of CH 2)

Second Day, Afternoon

~Eden wanted to return home.

>Of course she did! Everyone did, in the killing game. She kept trying to look for ways to end it completely, and while she hadn’t found a good solution yet, she’d surely find it soon enough!

>But for now, they had to keep strong! And fight against the motive! David had suggested talking to the people whose secrets they’d all received so they could share it and ease tensions, and Eden thought it was a great idea! She went up to Arturo, and told him what she’d received about him.

>…

>She almost died.

>That was the only thing running through her mind as Arei got Arturo away. Eden had almost died, and if it weren’t for Arei, she most likely would have. A small desperation began to grow in her heart, longing to get out, get out, get out-

>Arei tried to talk to her, apologize for the things she’d said in the playground… but Eden couldn’t believe her.

>Arei had shouted in her face that Min’s death was her fault. Even if it was, to say it like that… Eden wanted to cry just thinking about the things Arei had said. Eden may have been nice, but she wasn’t naive. Someone like that could never be a good person.

>Still, a part of Eden wanted to give Arei the benefit of the doubt. So, she hugged her, told her how much it meant, and went on her merry way.

>But those doubts had firmly planted themselves in Eden’s mind. What if Arei was just manipulating her? What if Arturo attacked her again? Would someone as weak as her even be able to stand up to the killing game, when she couldn’t stand up against some bullies?

>Slowly, the gears in her mind started to turn. An idea was brewing, an idea which scared Eden to even think about, but one she was desperate enough to entertain.

>There was a way for her to end the killing game. By winning it.

>I mean what? No! Eden would never kill anyone! …

>But if she were to, hypothetically speaking, how would she go about it?

>By the second night, she didn’t know all the details, but she was going on autopilot, her body moving practically without her thinking. Just like she used to get lost in her work while making clocks, she was now beginning to get lost in the preparations for a murder.

>An accomplice, she would need an accomplice, if she wanted to do it. Probably something with the rope in the storage room, she was good with mechanisms. Maybe the railings on the playground, a pulley system… she needed a way to get the rope up there, and a way to secure the grip of her accomplice on the carousel.

>Hypothetically, of course.

Second Day, Almost Nighttime - Nighttime

~She went to the second floor, grabbed some of Hu’s and Teruko’s old clothes, and put them in the relaxation room to cover them in starch. She wanted to make a ball of clothes, it was the best way to get the rope over the railings.

~She also needed tape from the gym, the roll people used to replace the grippy tape on the pull-up bar when it got too sweaty.

~Slight issue: nighttime had begun, and there were still a few noises in the gym. Eden didn’t want to be caught doing anything too suspicious, so she decided to wait out until the noises stopped.

~Slightly bigger issue: Teruko arrived at the second floor, spotted her, and now Eden needed a cover story. She just told her she was looking for Hu’s and Teruko’s new clothes, sure, that works.

>Eden told Teruko her and Arei had made up, and asked if she wanted to pry. In retrospect, she wasn’t sure why she’d done that. If Teruko had heard the story of what Arei had said, she would just tell Eden what the uglier parts of her psyche were already telling her. That Arei was lying, trying to manipulate her. But maybe she wanted the confirmation, to justify to herself why she was thinking the thoughts which were running through her head.

(It’s almost tragic, really. If only Teruko had pried, maybe Eden would have learnt of Arei’s breakdown, and everything would have ended there)

~The two decided to head back to the first floor, and Eden figured she would just take the tape tomorrow-

~Oh shit, Ace got murdered.

>Seeing that convinced Eden. The killing game was too dangerous, when even the seemingly harmless Nico was able to do something so brutal to one of the strongest participants physically speaking. She had to get out, and now. She couldn’t disappoint her family, her friends, and her.

>So, she resolved to do something about it right after-

>Oh, hey, Ace wasn’t dead! That was… good. Even if he knocked Eden down to the floor when he woke.

~… And while she’s on the floor, she may as well pick up the tape she had come to retrieve.

~[Cue Ace running to kill Nico scene]

>Wow. Tensions were… really high. Ace had collapsed, and even then Teruko had just walked away as if nothing had happened.

>But Eden was more curious about something Levi had said. “Why do I even bother?” What had he meant by that? She decided to speak with him.

>…

>Levi had lost all hope.

>There was just no way to reason with the people of the killing game. All of them were erratic, nonsensical, unpredictable people. And he loathed unpredictability in people.

>None of them wanted to accept help when it was offered. None of them knew what the hell to do about anything, but refused to just be nice and patient with each other. Practically speaking, pretty much the only normal person around was-

>Oh, Eden wanted to talk to him. Sure, he could do that.

>Eden was checking in after the whole Ace fiasco. How nice of her.

>But after chatting for a while, Eden directed the conversation towards an encounter she’d had with Arei. She explained what the bowler had told her, looking for advice. She asked if Levi would believe Arei, seeking confirmation on whether or not she really could be trying to get better. And Levi...

>Levi was pissed.

>Because it was such an obvious lie. Such a horrendous attempt of manipulation. To try and take advantage of someone as nice as Eden, truly despicable.

>Eden seemed taken aback at his intensity, asking why he was so certain. Levi debated internally for a moment, before deciding Eden deserved the whole truth.

>"Blackmail, rumors, lying, stealing, slander. You did everything you could to ruin your sisters' lives." That was Arei's secret, the one Levi received.

>Eden looked horrified when Levi told her, and it seemed she agreed with what Levi was already thinking. After all, they both loved their family a lot, even if Levi had been disowned. Someone like Arei, who would do something so horrible to their own family, couldn't possibly be a good person. If Arei did all that to her own sisters, who's to say she wouldn't do the same to Eden?

(In retrospect, Levi would always regret jumping to conclusions. After it was all over, he would try to explain. “I always believed that a person is defined by their actions alone. But maybe that’s just a poor excuse for my heartlessness.”)

>And in all that anger, and hopelesness, and desperation... Eden revealed an idea. A very strange, almost outlandish idea. To help her out of the killing game.

>Levi wasn't a fool. He had seen how the group had handled the first trial. Eventually, someone was going to get away with murder, and that would be how the killing game would end. It was predestined.

>And if someone was going to win, it may as well be the kindest person in the group.

~He agreed.

Third Day, Noon

>Everyone was yelling, and Arei's stomach was twisting.

>Nico had tried to murder Ace. They hadn't outright admitted it, but Levi's and Ace's accounts were enough to get her to believe it.

>But she wasn't thinking so much about the incident itself, as much as she was thinking about what had caused it. The secrets. David's plan was backfiring massively...

>Except, maybe it wasn't. As she saw everyone arguing, the secret she had seen Whit receive flashed in her mind. David's secret. "You exist to manipulate others. Everyone else exists to be taken advantage of."

>Was he really that evil? Was he really trying to instigate a murder? Was anything he had ever said even true?

>Had he lied to her, too?

>...

>She didn't feel like speaking much that day. She'd rather go to her room, and contemplate. Maybe sleep for a while. Maybe lie in her bed, and maybe cry a bit.

>She didn't leave her room until it was time for dinner.

Third Day, Afternoon

>Ace was fucking pissed.

>Of course he was, he'd almost been murdered! By Nico of all fucking people! And now he couldn't even look the fucking gym without getting nervous, like the motherfucker would show up any time and finish the job!

>But it's not like that was gonna stop him from exercising. He wasn't a fucking coward, he wasn't afraid of Nico. (Or at least, he told himself that). So he'd train anyways! He'd raced on horses he was terrified of his whole life, a little exercise was nothing!

>Still, to his chagrin, he couldn't help but feel nervous whenever he heard any noises in the rest of the floor. Even the very light noise of the elevator felt like thunder in his ears. So when someone came down and started speaking, Ace couldn't help but overhear.

>Yet, the conversation was interesting. Arei was saying David had lied about his secret? This was worth hearing.

>Ace snuck in closer and listened in. Apparently David's secret was that he was a manipulative bastard, the dick. He had gone quiet when he heard that, too, so it must have been true.

>"David! Say something!"

>David went quiet for a bit, and then... Ace got bored.

>So what? David was an asshole, big deal. Breaking news, everyone! Every single participant in the killing game sucks dick and balls! Who could have seen that coming?! It wasn't anything Ace didn't already know. So he left. He didn't really feel like listening to David try to lie his way out of that. He just went back to the gym and stopped paying attention.

>Meanwhile, the conversation went on.

[THE FOLLOWING WAS WRITTEN MOSTLY FOR FUN. I HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING HOW THIS CONVERSATION ACTUALLY WENT]

CW FOR AGGRESSIVE CONFRONTATION

>David was fucked.

>"I... I don't know what to say to that" David managed, covering his eyes with his hand. "It's... well... How do I put this?"

>"Just tell me, please. Did you lie to me?"

>"..." David sighed. A small, sad chuckle rose from his chest. "Yes. I'm sorry"

>"..."

>"I apologize for the false hope, Arei, but... people can't change" David continued. His head was firing off alarm bells, years of deception warning him not to continue, but he ignored them. "I have seen so many try. I have seen so many fail. In the end, there's no avoiding it. If you could improve yourself to be a better person, all that means is that you were a better person to begin with..."

>Arei fought back tears. "You're wrong"

>David had to stop himself from laughing in her face, but he couldn't help a sharp exhale. He would probably stop there, but... he had lied for so long, he almost wanted to speak what he actually believed for once. "No, I'm not. I'm the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker, Arei. If people could change, I would be the first to see it"

>"That's not- You can't be serious. Just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean it can't happen!" Arei snapped.

>"Is that so?" David raised his voice, and glared at Arei. He smiled nervously. "Then tell me, Arei. Do you think I can change? That I can become better? Look at what I've done. I've lied for years, and now Ace has a permanent scar on his neck from the murder I almost caused!" He put a hand to his chest. He shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't, but, but- "Do you really think people like me, like us, can ever be good?! If you do, then you're a bigger idiot than I thought"

>He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. Why was he saying it?

>Arei snarled at him, her face growing red in anger. "You...." She took a breath, and her gaze grew defiant. "I'll prove you wrong. You're the idiot here. I will become good. I promised Eden I-"

>"Well, Xander promised he'd be my friend, and look where he is now!" he almost shouted. Why was he even thinking of him now? "Don't you see it? You're lying to yourself. That's the only thing to come from my speeches. Lies. And now you're repeating a degraded version, like it's gonna be any more true just because it's coming from your mouth!" He needed to stop. He- "Are you that arrogant, or did your sisters cause you permanent brain damage?!" What the fuck was he doing?!

>"..." Arei looked horrified, and angry.

>"You don't even believe it yourself, you hypochrite!" Stop! He smirked even wider. "Otherwise, why don't you go talk to your sisters, and get them to change?" She looked so sad, why was David doing this? He had to- He couldn't- It felt good to let it out- He felt horrible- Stop- He laughed. "Oh, right! You can't! Because you're a monster and destroyed their lives! And you, won't, change"

>"You-!" Arei shouted, and rushed forward to push him. Her heart clearly wasn't in it, but David retaliated and pushed her back.

>"Out of my way!" he snarled, and began walking out of the room. He couldn't- he wasn't thinking straight, he needed- he needed air, he needed out. Arei almost slipped into the pond, or maybe she did? David couln't tell anymore. His mind was a fucking mess and his only coherent thoughts were screaming at him to leave.

>Meanwhile, Arei was left alone, and hurt. She shouldn’t listen to an asshole like David, she knew that, but, but still…

>She didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. Maybe she’d just go back to bed.

CW OVER

~Later, Levi would arrive at the relaxation room to fill up two water jugs, making sure to get the fish. At the same time, Eden was discussing ways to end the killing game with Hu, securing an alibi for the time of the fish’s disappearance.

Third Day, Nighttime

~Levi and Eden met back up at the playground, and the preparations began. The materials they were working with included two pieces of rope (one longer, one shorter), the ball of sticky clothes Eden had prepared the night before, the tape Eden had taken from the gym, and the water jugs with the water and fish Levi had gathered.

~First step, with the tape from the gym, they covered the bars of the carousel, to have a better grip when they used the mechanism.

~Then, they grabbed the longer rope and put part of it through a few of the handlebars of the carousel, before tying one end to one of the handlebars.

~After that, they tied the other end to the ball of clothes, and Levi used his strength to throw it up above the railings. In doing so, he accidentally hit one of the lights with the clothes, displacing the lightbulb and causing it to flicker. Once it fell, he also threw it up to the railing in the middle, so the unused end of the longer rope would end up around where the seesaw was.

~Meanwhile, Eden tied one end of the shorter rope to the swing set near the carousel, leaving the other end unused for now.

~After removing the ball of clothes, they fashioned the untied end of the longer rope into an odd-looking “double noose”, with one of the nooses, the one closer to the end of the rope, tied around the handles of the water jugs.

~With all the preparations in place, they took the ball of clothes to the dress-up room, and Levi went to sleep. Eden wrote the note Arei would receive, telling her to meet in the playground at 7:30. Then she went to sleep as well.

Fourth Day, Morning

>Arturo was a fucking asshole, Arei decided from the moment she saw the note.

~Obviously Arei followed it, because she was trying to be friends with Eden.

>And as suspicious as the note was, there was no way Eden would betray her, right? If she did…

>…

>Well, Arei didn’t really want to think about it.

>She arrived at the playground, and… why was there so much rope around? Eden was standing near it, contemplating… a noose?

>Oh god.

>Arei didn’t even think. She rushed in and tried to stop Eden from doing-

~Levi, who had been hidden besides the door, attacked. He ambushed Arei from behind, and used his weight to pin her to the floor. Arei screamed and struggled, scuffing the floor around her, but she obviously wasn’t able to do anything to fight off Levi.

[Oh great more dialogue]

CW for emotional confrontation, feelings of betrayal and suicidal ideation.

>”What the fuck are you doing?! Eden, get him off me!”

>Eden looked downcast, her expression somber. She was evidently lost in thought. “I’m sorry it has to be this way”

>Arei didn’t get it.

~Levi grabbed Arei’s hands, and roughly pulled out her glove to better get the tape around her wrists. This was to make sure she didn’t struggle too much after the process began.

>”Hey! Eden! What’s going on?! I thought we were friends!”

>”As if. We’re not that naive” Levi spat from behind her, and she could practically feel that murderous edge he always used when threatening Ace.

>”Huh?! What are you talking about, you-?!”

>”I’m sorry, Arei. I just can’t believe you” Eden spoke softly, fidgeting with her hands. She grabbed the noose, which weirdly had- wait. “I know you’re lying to me. You don’t have to keep pretending you like me”

>…

>Arei’s entire world crumbled in that moment.

>”H-Huh?! Wait, I- I never lied to you! I want- I wanted to be friends-!”

>”Don’t lie” Levi snarled. “We know what your secret is. What you’ve done to your sisters. I can’t believe you. You know, actions define people, and you have been nothing but terrible your whole life”

>Eden bent down to put the noose around Arei’s neck. Because of course, of course it was a fucking noose. Eden hesitated, however.

>”Don’t fall for her crocodile tears, Eden” Levi warned. Oh, Arei was crying? News to her.

>”R-Right” Eden said, putting the noose around Arei’s neck. Eden then positioned herself to pin Arei down herself as Levi stepped off and went towards the carousel.

>”Eden, please… please don’t listen to him! Don’t be scared of him! I’ll beat him up for you, just-!”

>”I’m not- I’m not scared of Levi” Eden frowned.

>”But- But, he’s a murderer without remorse!” Levi stopped in his tracks. “That’s his secret, Eden! I received it! Do you really want to help someone like that?!”

>Eden seemed to hesitate for a moment, but shook her head, and looked at Arei with glassy eyes, smiling nervously. “I mean… I- I can’t really judge him for that. I… I was the one who came up with this idea, you know”

>…

>Huh.

>So there really was no point, then.

>David didn’t believe in her. Eden didn’t believe in her. Fucking Eden. And now, even the nicest person in the entire killing game had decided Arei deserved to die.

>…

>Arei stopped struggling after that.

CW OVER, mostly. There’s still references to suicide after this point.

(God I really hope I’m not horrendously mischaracterizing these people)

~Levi begun to spin the carousel, which worked as a pulley that started dragging Arei up. As he spun it, he likely had to adjust it slightly so it wouldn’t slide off the wrong way, hence why he needed to be able to better grip all the handlebars instead of putting tape on just one. [I don’t know if that made sense]

~As the rope started pulling up, Eden stepped aside and ran over to the carousel.

~Levi stopped spinning it once Arei was high enough, and Eden attached the unused end of the shorter rope to the carousel.

~Eden grabbed hold of the carousel, and Levi ran out of the room.

~Now, neither of them had thought of asking MonoTV how to determine the blackened in the case of an accomplice being in play, so they took all the steps necessary to make sure Eden would be the blackened.

~She was the one to put the rope around Arei’s neck, she had been the one to come up with the murder plan, and she was the last person holding her up. Levi running out of the room was extra insurance: how could he be the blackened if he wasn’t even a witness to the crime? However, the final trick would ensure Eden would get the title of blackened.

~Eden let go of the carousel, and gravity made it spin as Arei fell. It spun for only a little bit, however, as the shorter rope soon fully tensed, and stopped the carousel in its tracks. Because of the height Arei fell, as well as the extra weight from the water jugs, her neck snapped in the moment the shorter rope tensed. At the same time, the handles from the water jugs snapped, and they fell to the floor.

~With this, it could be argued the act which caused Arei’s death was the letting go of the carousel, for which Levi wasn’t even present, meaning Eden was indubitably the blackened.

~And when it was all said and done, there was one fact which stood. Because of the strength the mechanism had required, Eden could not have possibly done it all alone. Unless the class somehow figured out she had an accomplice, just the strength necessary for the act would rule her out, give her an alibi. That is the reason behind the complexity of the murder.

~After that, Levi came into the room, fulfilling another nice benefit. Because he hadn’t technically witnessed the murder, he counted as a “body discoverer” for BDA purposes.

~The last step was setting up the scene as we saw it. The fish they spread around would confuse the time of death and give Eden an alibi, and hanging Arei from the swing set would make people initially believe she had committed suicide. Levi had to be the one to do that, as Eden was too weak and short, adding an extra layer of misdirection.

~”What if I just take her glove?” Levi asked.

>”Eh?”

>”I could take her glove, and then if someone spots me with it, they’ll vote me out and you’ll win” Levi explained.

>”That’s… kinda silly, isn’t it?”

>”…”

>”…”

>”…”

>”… Okay, sure”

>”Very well” Levi nodded sagely. Eden remained very confused.

~They took the longer tape and hid it under the carousel, then threw the tape which had been on Arei’s wrists and the jugs in the trash, as well as the note after ripping it up a bit.

~With that, they left to go see the supposed announcement of the motives.

Investigation

>Pretending to be surprised at Arei’s absence wasn’t as hard as Eden thought it would be. Just make a horrified face and say nothing, easy!

>Eden knew the BDA would still play if just Whit and Teruko discovered the body, which is why she wasn’t nervous when Teruko first asked her and Whit to go search for Arei together. Still, she second guessed herself just as Teruko swung the door open, because she would be in big trouble if the BDA didn’t play. Thankfully for her, it did, as Levi had already “discovered” it before. Honestly, it was pretty good luck (and bad luck on Teruko’s part) that Eden got to be part of the “discovery group.”

>On the side, David looks at how the body was positioned, and instantly knew what had happened. “Of course. Of course this would happen” he muttered. Arei killed herself because of him. What a monster he was.

~After pretending to be sad about Arei’s death for a moment, Eden offered to investigate with “braincell haver” Teruko, but got shut down. So instead, she joined Rose and Whit as they put together the note in the trash, to make sure they got it right. It was an important part of the plan, after all.

>Levi just went to look at the secrets because he didn’t really have to do anything specific.

Trial

>When people begun discussing the possibility of Arei helping her killer, Levi thought it would be a good way to misdirect the cast, so he started pushing the idea. Though with the slight freudian slip of saying Arei may have been her own “accomplice.”

>On the side, David held his tongue. Once MonoTV revealed the condition to be the blackened was that you were “someone alive who we can blame for her death”, any doubt dissipated in his mind. He had caused her to commit suicide, he could be blamed for her death. And he was the blackened, then.

>However, Eden needed to go against the idea of suicide, because she was supposed to sell the idea they had been friends once the note was revealed.

>When that happened, they had agreed Levi would push on the idea that Eden was the killer a bit, to “force” her to explain the note she wanted to explain anyways.

>Levi also added he’d protect Eden no matter what, but Eden responds “Don’t say stuff like that.” To the others, that was because Eden was worried Levi would end up like Arei. To Eden and Levi, it was a subtle way of saying ‘shut up and don’t link us together!’

~Eden explained the note, making sure to act like she was very distraught by the situation and genuinely believed Arei had wanted to change.

~She also provided a “handwriting sample” to look more innocent, but she intentionally wrote it in print instead of cursive to separate it from the note. Somehow, no one noticed.

>Meanwhile, David was starting to break down. She really had been trying to change, but the naive idiot had believed in David. And nothing good happens to those who believe in him.

>What a reprehensible killer indeed.

>But David’s breakdown was having an impact on Eden, who begun to think that maybe, just maybe, she had been wrong about Arei.

>She was in too deep, though. She needed to continue. She couldn’t turn back the clock now.

>When David is accused of everything, he decides he might as well enjoy the last of his life, of his killing game. He breaks down the same way he did when Arei confronted him, becoming insulting and dismissive to prevent any vulnerability from showing through. The words he said, he believed for the most part, but the smile on his face as he said them was perhaps his biggest lie yet.

>In other news, that’s pretty convenient for the murder duo! If they can just get David voted out, then…

~But that wouldn’t happen. Not if Teruko and Charles had something to say about it.

Chapter 2, Part 2

[This is just for fun]

+Charles realized the trick of the time of death, and the cast decided to start speaking of the murder method.

+After a bit of discussion (where Eden was surprisingly helpful!), they realized the murder would require inordinate strength, and they start pointing the finger at Levi.

+The secrets are revealed then, as some have realized what most of the remaining ones were. David deduced Hu must have the “hopeless child” secret, Teruko deduced Veronika must have the “self-harm” secret, Veronika in turn figured Teruko must have the “dead family” secret (that wasn’t hers, but it still applied to her life, so they didn’t question it too much. David bit his tongue), and… well, they somehow realize the “poison” secret must be Min’s.

+As Levi’s secret is narrowed down, he finally admits.

+He takes the glove from his pocket, and dramatically confesses: “I… I killed Arei”

+All going according to plan!

+The voting time is almost about to happen, but Veronika pipes in. She wants to talk about the Ace case for some reason, and while Teruko tries to deny her, the horror fanatic throws the luckster’s own words against her. “The more cases we solve, the better we’ll be at solving them in the future!”

+Reluctantly, Nico starts speaking about what they did. It was… an odd sequence, but it wasn’t too wild.

+Except, Rose pointed out something odd. What happened to the tape?

+Nico says it was still on the floor when they left. Rose says it’s impossible. Eden’s getting nervous.

+And Teruko goes dead quiet, as she runs the math again in her head.

+The lockdown… the lockdown meant no one should have been able to take the tape during nighttime… MonoTV claimed it wasn’t the one to take it… and she knew neither Ace or herself had taken it… so… It must have been taken by…

+”Teruko?” someone asked, but she wasn’t listening. It was clear now…

+She couldn’t resist the maniacal laughter that escaped her, as the adrenaline of realizing how close they’d gotten to dying (scratch that, she wouldn’t have died, but the others might have), and she realized she was right. She couldn’t trust anyone.

+The others looked at her in concern, but she just explained the simple truth.

+It was chaos. No one wanted to believe it. But the more they thought about it, more questions arose. Why would Levi make such a complex mechanism, when he could have just killed Arei in a much simpler way?

+Whit had an idea. He asked Levi which direction Arturo had ran after leaving the infirmary. And Levi answered wrong. He hadn’t listened on the conversation, then. It would be impossible for him to write the note. Charles further verified by asking Levi and Eden to spell “responsible”. Levi spelt it right, Eden spelt it wrong. “Responsibel”, the same misspelling as the note.

+There was a scrum debate, people went crazy, but in the end. They arrived at the answer, and voted for Eden.

+It was right.

+They asked for further clarification and Eden admitted everything which had led to her decision.

+”I feel terrible. Arei really was… I should have believed her. But- But, at that point, when I finally realized the truth, it was too late” Eden explained. “I wish I hadn’t done it, I want to go back… but time only moves forward. You can’t go back, no matter how hard you try”

+She hugged Teruko one last time, pleading she wouldn’t close herself off even further. But Teruko wasn’t having it. She asked MonoTV she was using a MonoCredit to get Eden away from her.

+And MonoTV obliged, starting the execution right that moment. [Credit for the idea to venus and accirax]

~This was the truth. A tragic misunderstanding, a horrible mistake. Call it whatever you want, one thing remains the same. The blackened of the case, who committed the crime with the help of Levi Fontana, the Ultimate Personal Stylist, was none other than Eden Tobisa, the Ultimate Clockmaker!

…

And right before dying, Eden reveals the name of the girl she had kissed was Mai Akasaki-

Conclusion

Yeah, this was longer than it really had to be, but I had fun writing it. This will probably be the last post I make about this case, at least until CH 2 Part 2 comes out. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading, hope time only brings you good things! Take care!

[noona-clock]

Are You Sure? - Part 3

Genre: Exes to Lovers, Fluff, AU

Pairing: Jungshin x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Epilogue | Words: 2,331

Of course, as soon as you entered the privacy of your hotel room, you regretted agreeing to have dinner with Jungshin.

First of all, you were physically exhausted from traveling.

Second of all, you were mentally exhausted from all of the anxiety you'd experienced.

Third of all, you were emotionally exhausted from running into your ex-boyfriend unexpectedly (or, rather, earlier than expected).

Fourth of all! You had enough to do this weekend as a bridesmaid! You didn't need to add more stress on your plate!

Alas! Despite all of this, when you received a text message from Jungshin a couple of hours after finally arriving in your room saying "Meet me in the lobby in an hour?" you almost immediately replied with a thumbs up emoji.

Maybe you'd accepted because your brain wasn't in a healthy enough state to do anything other than be agreeable. Or maybe you'd accepted because you secretly wanted to delve into the depths of your break-up with Jungshin... with Jungshin.

Ha!

Honestly, you should be concerned you'd even thought that. But, as we've already gone over, you were just too exhausted.

Somehow, you managed to gather the strength to change into somewhat of a nicer outfit than your plane clothes, wash your face, and refresh your hair to prepare for this dinner. You even rummaged in your luggage to find your travel-sized perfume and spritzed some on your neck and wrists. You couldn't quite bring yourself to shower (and there wasn't enough time, frankly), so this would have to do.

Jungshin had seen you in much worse states before, so he had absolutely no reason to complain. Not that he would, of course. While he hadn't been the most thoughtful of boyfriends, he had never -- not once -- commented on your appearance other than to tell you how beautiful you looked, how nice you smelled, how perfect your outfit was.

(...If you were being fully honest with yourself, you did miss that aspect of your relationship. It just wasn't the same looking in the mirror and telling yourself you were beautiful.)

It didn't hit you until you were in the elevator on the way down to the lobby that, for all intents and purposes, you were going on a date right now. But, for obvious reasons, you couldn't accept that. There was absolutely no way this was a date -- not in any way, shape, or form. In fact, it may be the opposite of a date? You didn't need to get to know Jungshin because you knew him well enough, and neither of you was going into this dinner with romantic intent.

...But, still. The word 'date' was now lingering in your brain. Lingering like an annoying cough that sticks around for three weeks after you have a cold.

Jungshin was facing away from you as you walked up to meet him, and you silently cursed yourself for noticing that he looked as good as he ever had. He was just so tall and trim, but he must have been holding his phone in one hand because he had his arm bent, and you could see his t-shirt sleeve hugging a decently sized bicep. So, he'd definitely been working out more.

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh!

The last things you wanted to be thinking when you reached him were 1. that you were going on a date, and 2. that he looked fantastic!

"Hey," you choked out as soon as you were within earshot.

Jungshin swiftly turned around, his eyebrows raised. But once he saw it was you addressing him, a grin pulled at his lips.

"Hey," he replied. "I was just looking for restaurants around here. A lot of places have really good reviews, so it just depends on what you feel like eating, I guess. Any cravings?"

...Well, damn. What happened to 'Hello'? 'How are you?'?

"Uh..." you croaked, your mind now suddenly blank except for the two items on the list we just discussed (the 'date' thing and the 'looking fantastic' thing).

Jungshin simply waited, an expectant look on his stupid, gorgeous face.

So, you said the first type of food that popped into your brain: "Pizza?"

"Pizza, it is," Jungshin nodded. He unlocked his phone, squinting slightly at it as he scrolled, presumably through his favorite food review app. "There's a place literally around the corner that has a 4.6-star rating."

"Lead the way," you murmured. And for good measure, you made your best attempt at smiling at him.

Obviously, you couldn't see what your own smile looked like, but you were fairly certain that even your best attempt at the moment was not great.

Oh, well! If Jungshin noticed, he didn't say anything. He simply turned toward the exit and began walking just a half step ahead of you.

If you had somehow been in this situation at any time during the last few months, you would've simply told yourself that Jungshin hadn't noticed.

But, apparently, that was the Old Jungshin. You were currently in the presence of New Jungshin -- a Jungshin who was more observant and considerate (and mindful and demure) than you were used to.

So, maybe he had noticed. But, again, if he had, he hadn't said anything.

Just as the two of you had walked silently through the airport earlier today, you now walked silently down the sidewalk. Thankfully, there wasn't quite as much stressful tension in the air, and your end goal this time was something far more delightful than a mildly annoyed rideshare driver.

The smell of freshly baked pizza was already wafting through the air, and you were still within sight of the hotel doors. Jungshin hadn't been joking -- it must really be right around the corner!

And, no lie, just after the two of you turned the corner, Jungshin said, "Ah, there it is," and gestured just a few doors ahead to a restaurant named A Slice of Heaven.

The pun made you laugh, but it was one of those short, monotonous laughs. Y'know, the kind of laugh that happens when you find something mildly amusing but are too tired to actually laugh about it.

Just one singular "Ha" which may or may not be accompanied by a slight smirk.

"I thought you'd get a kick out of the name," Jungshin chuckled as he opened the front door for you.

You decided not to comment on -- or even think about -- that because you'd already pointed out to yourself that Jungshin still knew you too well. Did you really need to point it out again? No.

So, you simply threw him a tiny grin before heading into the restaurant and locating the most tucked away table possible. Thankfully, A Slice of Heaven wasn't that busy right now, but you still wanted at least a smidgen of privacy while you had this conversation.

Thankfully, a server arrived almost immediately after you sat down to hand you some menus and take your drink orders. This dinner was going to be awkward enough as it was; if you'd had to sit for any length of time just waiting for a server to notice you, it would've been that much worse.

"I'll be back in a few to get your food orders, okay?" the server said with a friendly smile.

"Thanks so much," Jungshin replied, a very similar smile forming on his lips.

Ugh. Too much about Jungshin still made your heart flutter. His tall, lean frame. His smile. His face. His... him. Just him, in general, made your heart flutter.

It was super inconvenient.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

Your instinct was to reply with "You don't want to know what I'm thinking," but you obviously couldn't say that.

So you just furrowed your brow and said nothing.

"I mean, to eat," he clarified.

Oh.

"Should we share something or just get our own slice?" he continued.

In the past -- in the Together Times, I guess we could say -- whenever the two of you went out for pizza, you would share one. Your pizza tastes were similar enough, and you obviously had no qualms with sharing germs or eating food the other person touched, y'know?

But what about now? Would it be weird to share a pizza like the old Together Times of yore?

You figured it was best to be safe and turn the decision-making on him instead.

"I don't know," you murmured, still scanning the menu. "What are you thinking?"

Before he had the chance to answer, you made a deal with yourself. If he said he was just craving pepperoni, then you would share with him. If he said anything else, you would order your own slice.

You were willing to let The Universe handle this one since you'd already found out what happened when you tried to avoid it.

Jungshin hummed thoughtfully, and you shifted your gaze just above the top of your menu to watch him.

He inhaled sharply.

You held your breath.

"I'm thinking just pepperoni," he answered.

Oop!

Score yet another one for The Universe!

"Yeah, me too," you replied as you folded your menu and set it down on the table. "Should we get a -- No, I was going to suggest a medium, but I'm ravenous. Let's get a large."

"Large, it is," Jungshin chuckled, taking your menu and stacking it with his. He then straightened up and gazed around to locate the server who'd taken your drink order, but before he could raise his hand up to signal that your table was ready to order, they appeared with your drinks.

Oh, great. Yet another thing about Jungshin that made you miss him!

He wasn't the least bit shy and would talk to strangers in a heartbeat. Whenever you were ready to order, he would call the server over. When you'd had to switch car insurance or received the wrong delivery or any issue involving calling a person to resolve it, he had done it for you. You'd always had to ask him, of course, but he'd never hesitated to say, 'Yeah, give me the number.'

So, for those of you keeping track at home, our list so far is as follows:

His smile

His frequent compliments

His long and lean physique

His outgoing personality

You didn't want to admit to yourself that the list would most likely get longer before the end of the night... so you didn't! Simple as that!

"Can we get a large pepperoni, please?" he asked the server after they set your drink down in front of you.

"Absolutely!" the server grinned, hastily but professionally sliding their notepad out of their apron pocket and jotting down your order. "It'll be right out."

"Thank you so much," Jungshin replied, returning the server's friendly smile.

Once the server left, his gaze shifted and settled on you.

Your heart flew up into your throat. It was that time during a meal outing after you'd ordered but before you received your food. There was no menu in your hands to distract you. No food to eat, so you had to talk to each other.

So, you delicately skated your drink a few inches closer, circling your fingers around the cool glass and keeping them there to keep you from fidgeting.

"The flight was pretty good, huh?" Jungshin noted. His tone was so casual, as it had been since you'd bumped into each other, that it made you even more anxious. "No turbulence at all, made really good time, no screaming children."

"Yeah," you answered with a very awkward chuckle. "It was nice."

"Did you watch any movies?"

You hummed positively as you took a sip of your drink.

A smirk tugged at Jungshin's lips and he leaned forward just a smidge. "I bet I can guess what you watched."

All right, that was enough! You were pretty confident that he could guess which movies you'd watched, and you didn't think you could handle yet another instance of him still knowing you so well!

With a deep sigh, you clamped your eyes shut and said in almost a whine, "Can we not?"

You kept your eyes closed but you could feel Jungshin's confusion. "...can we not what?"

"Maybe you can act like everything is fine and normal, but I can't. I don't know how to... be around you, at least not yet. You said you didn't reach out because you thought I wouldn't want to talk to you, and you were right. Not because I -- I hate you or anything, I just... I wasn't ready. Maybe I'm still not, I don't know. All I know is I can't keep on having these conversations like we're just old friends catching up. I can't do it!"

You had partially cracked open one eye during this mini diatribe, and thankfully, Jungshin didn't look as shocked or guilty as you imagined. A very small notch between his eyebrows showed his concern, but other than that, he was simply listening.

After a handful of fraught (at least on your end) seconds, Jungshin inhaled sharply. "So, we don't have to talk. Or we can continue what we started on the way to the hotel. Whatever you're comfortable with."

You bit the inside of your cheek, but before you could say anything, Jungshin spoke again.

"Or I can decide if you don't want to. I don't want to put any pressure on you."

You hadn't realized that you'd felt pressured until just now when he said that, but his words almost instantly lifted a weight off your shoulders. Not a big weight, really -- more like a small to medium-sized weight, but a weight nonetheless.

"Yes, please," you nodded.

"Okay. How about we start with not talking and see how that goes?"

Truthfully, your first instinct had been to choose the Not Talking option, but that had mostly been for personal reasons. You just didn't feel like talking! But you'd been willing to compromise.

...However.

If Jungshin was the one suggesting it...

"Sounds good to me," you agreed.

Part 4

[idontknowreallywhy]

Ah he’s had worse… 😈

Thank you :) I feel the pink pillow has heard a Lot over the years. And might be almost indestructible.

@womble1 puns. All the puns. There can always be a pun if you try hard enough…

@lenle-g I am maybe a tiny bit obsessed with the dodgy leg thing… this isn’t the first fic where it’s come up… and because I went back to look at it and it made me laugh I’ll shamelessly repost a snippet…

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Her hand trembled slightly and she slopped half the coffee over the table. Scott immediately contained it with napkins but there weren’t enough and she rooted in her coat pocket for the emergency packet of tissues she carried and produced them in a rush. Something else came out attached to the packet and fell to the table with a slight rattle.

Oh no. Oh no no no nooo.

He reached out and delicately picked it up between a thumb and forefinger.

“So… I can’t help but notice you have a tiny model of my leg in your pocket. Should I be concerned?”

Her face was burning.

“You… you know I work with kids, right? It’s um, not mine. I’m not a crazy stalker person or anything.” She glanced up and was relieved to see he was laughing. “In fact before today I didn’t know there were action figures, it’s usually the trading cards I have to confiscate. That’s quite some PR machine you’ve got there.”

Now it was his turn to look awkward.

“Ah, well… there were so many poor quality ones being sold and they were frankly an environmental disaster and the manufacturing conditions were awful and so TI made some official ones. Proper working conditions, closed loop. All the proceeds to charity so… uh, yeah. It still feels cringey but I think was the right thing to do.” He paused and rubbed the back of his neck vigorously as if trying to warm it up. “The ones of me always lose legs. There have been an embarrassing number of design meetings on the point.”

She nearly choked on her coffee.

“I'm sorry but it's just so surreal that you not only have a toy figure made of you but you actually go to meetings where you discuss your leg strength!”

“My actual leg strength is just fine. I’ve barely ever lost one.”

“That’s good to know” she deadpanned and took a sip of coffee before smirking again

“So… do you have to model for these?”

“Thankfully, no… they do refresh them occasionally and we have to approve any new designs. I have an overarching veto since a novelty collection of them nearly got released for Valentines a few years back… Gordon was the creative menace behind it and cancelling the production run cost him a significant chunk of his trust fund. Although he would tell you it was worth it for the prototypes he got to keep.” He smirked, apparently remembering “Virgil’s was quite amusing in fairness…”

She quirked an eyebrow by way of encouragement to elaborate.

“1960’s artists overalls and palate, jaunty beret, red rose between his teeth. The overalls had an outrageously big floppy bow.”

She thought back to the serious but handsome young man who had gently explained everything to the parents at the rescue site and smiled.

“I bet that would have been popular”.

“Probably. Gordon’s was meant to portray the aftermath of his Olympic Butterfly gold, but the proportions were way off and I can promise you nobody needs an action figure of him in Speedo’s.”

Push

A little Flying Fish one-shot thrown down on my commute. Less plot, more vibes, but inspired the fact my tiny Scott keeps enduring this Situation:

And not at all that a certain someone not too far away may have tried to approach a certain thing in a certain way. Nope…

Featuring One Idiot Flyboy and One Wise Fish

💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛

“Better not let the Virg see you limping about like that old man.”

Damn observant squid. Scott immediately corrected his gait and strode purposefully into the kitchen.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Damn it.

Gordon followed, because GORDON.

“What? I just had a wrinkle in my sock.”

“Uh huh.”

“Yeah ‘uh huh’. Now it is gone.”

“Course it is.”

Scott set the coffee machine running and for a few blissful seconds conversation was made impossible by the sound of grinding beans.

It also handily covered the noise of him cursing the entire physical therapeutic profession under his breath.

Sadly, between them Brains and Virgil had upgraded this to be the most efficient coffee-production mechanism on the planet, and the excuse was gone before Gordon got bored and left him alone.

Who was he kidding? Once the limpet latched on… a different tack was needed to scrape him off. And after all, attack is often the best form of defence…

“So, how’s your back after the super-sub rescue, Fish?”

“Getting there. I know the drill now. Slow and steady, just gotta be careful not to rush or over-extend it. The physio helps…”

Gordon had an eerie way of making an ellipsis audible.

“Good good, keep it up.”

“Thank you, Mr Motivator.” Gordon perused the range of noxious-coloured energy drinks in the fridge and in a clearly fake-casual voice threw the return grenade over his shoulder:

“How’s your physio going?”

“Fine. Good. Smashing it actually.”

“You don’t smash physio, bro.”

“I do.”

“Oh. Well, you’ll have to give me some pointers. For example, how to smash it so hard you appear decidedly more uncomfortable you did yesterday… I can tell by your posture - that ain’t no sock wrinkle, Scoots.”

Scott immediately stood up straighter and took a long gulp of scalding coffee to disguise the wince.

Gordon raised an infuriating eyebrow.

Scott eyeballed him impassively and took another swallow, just to make sure his throat lining was entirely obliterated. No point doing things by halves.

The raised eyebrow was replaced by an even more irritating expression of concern.

“Hip dislocations take a while bro… and your leg very nearly parted company with the rest of you… there was a lot of swelling in that joint. Give it time.”

Scott shrugged.

“Is all good, I’m nearly there. As soon as I get full rotation, I’m back in the air.”

“I knew it!”

“There’s nothing to know.”

“You’re trying to fast track it! It’s meant to be a GRADUAL extension of range! Faster isn’t always better, you great lanky donut!”

Scott didn’t have to listen to this. So he spun on his heel and made for the desk. He absolutely did not wobble and tip the rest of his coffee down his sleeve as his treacherous pelvis made a ridiculous fuss over nothing.

An even more treacherous part of his brain wondered if his little brother didn’t have a point. Scott threatened it with hyper-specific lobotomisation.

Little Mr Got-Straight-As-In-Physio slid under his shoulder and took a good proportion of his weight just as he stubbornly stepped forward again. Blinking frustrated moisture out of his eyes, Scott heartily wished it hadn’t helped as much as it did.

“Pretty sure you’re meant to use the crutches for a little longer yet too, huh?”

The groan escaped before he could stop it.

Gordon manoeuvred Scott to the couch. Scott’s right hip point blank refused to resist and the rest of his body meekly followed.

He dropped on to the couch, yelped, muttered a few words Grandma would have disapproved of and then stared mutinously at the ceiling.

He was so very Done with it all.

Little brother cocked his head to one side and then handed him a fluffy cushion. A hot pink fluffy cushion.

THE hot pink fluffy cushion.

He looked up at the one person who really and truly Got This. Gordon smiled and inclined his head towards the much loathed eyesore he must have brought up its home from the infirmary. Prescient little guppy that he was.

Scott glared at the cushion. Then pressed his face into it and screamed and shouted for what could have been thirty seconds or thirty hours.

Eventually he was spent. Taking a couple of shaky breaths he sat up and threw it with all his strength across the room. It hit the wall of the stairwell and dropped out of sight.

“Better?”

“Mmhmm.”

Gordon gently lowered himself on to the couch and looked down at his hands, slowly flexing his fingers, one by one.

“Sometimes I was so crushingly bored with all the teeny tiny increments… it felt like I was going backwards… so I’d push until it hurt. Like, really hurt. Because at least then I had something to fight. Then at least it would be interesting, you know?”

Scott nodded, quietly. Then rested his head on Gordon’s shoulder.

“Think I’ve made it worse.”

“Yeah. You’re an idiot. Runs in the family, I guess.”

Gordon ruffled his hair and Scott growled.

“You’ll get back on track, bro. Just might have made it a bit of a longer one.”

Scott couldn’t summon up anything more profound than a sigh.

“Y’know… I could always keep you company. When you’re doing the exercises, I mean. Could make a game of it or… or something. If you wanted, I mean… you don’t have to if it wouldn’t…”

“It would. I’d like that.”

“Cool. Team Hip Flexion is Go!”

Scott made a valiant attempt at the audible ellipsis thing.

“The Upright Knee Raise Crew? The Abduction Gang? Aaah I’ll work on it…”

For the first time in what felt like weeks Scott’s mouth twitched into a grin.

“I’m going to regret this aren’t I?”

“You can bet on it.”

[albertonykus]

Looking into a few other Fujiko F. Fujio works before I return to Doraemon: Esper Mami (1977–1983). This one is unconventional in that the main character, Mami, is a girl (a distinction shared with Chimpui) and is in middle school (instead of elementary school). Following the usual mold of Fujiko F. Fujio protagonists, she is well-meaning, but not particularly skilled at most tasks (though with the exception of her hazardous cooking, her incompetence is not as exaggerated as it tends to be with Fujio’s grade-school-aged leads).

Mami discovers one day that she has psychic powers inherited from her French witch ancestors: mainly telekinesis, teleportation, and limited telepathy. She can also sense people in distress within a certain distance, so most of the series revolves around her responding to these distress signals and helping others in need. (One of the strangest things in this manga, honestly, is the fact that even though the signals are nearly impossible for her to ignore, we almost never see her called away in the middle of school from what I recall. I guess incidents rarely happen during school hours.)

Other than her unusually intelligent dog, Mami’s main associate is her close friend Takahata, who has an eidetic memory and often uses his knowledge to help her master her abilities and solve cases. The relationship between the two is charming and believable, and in a story like this it’s refreshing to see a friendship between a boy and a girl that isn’t founded primarily on romantic attraction on one side or another. (There’s still a little of that, but it’s not a major component of the narrative.)

Mami’s supernatural powers aside, the story premises in this series tend to be pretty down-to-earth, mostly centering around scenarios that could happen in real life. They also get somewhat emotionally heavier than typical Fujiko F. Fujio works, with a few chapters ending on an unexpectedly somber note.

That being said, the atmosphere ultimately stays lighthearted and optimistic for the most part. As usual for Fujiko F. Fujio, humor features heavily in Esper Mami. There are some creative applications of Mami’s powers: a particularly funny one is that when she is too frightened to visit the bathroom at night after listening to ghost stories, she teleports her own urine into her friend’s bladder and makes her want to go instead!

This one panel made me laugh quite hard. When Mami is bored at home and all her friends are off doing other things, she starts narrating herself roleplaying as a lion (casting her dog as another animal that she’s fighting).

(I definitely spent too much time playing similar games when I was little.)

As a fun Easter egg, the main cast of Doraemon have a conspicuous cameo in one Esper Mami story (though surprisingly, I don’t think there’s ever been a proper crossover between the two).

Speaking of Doraemon, in the Esper Mami anime adaptation, Mami has the same voice actor as Dorami (from the 1979 Doraemon anime series). They do indeed sound essentially the same, which I find very amusing.

Esper Mami is funny, the character dynamics are engaging, and the story strikes the balance of “slight fantasy in an otherwise realistic setting while still maintaining an optimistic tone” that appeals to me. If that were all there was to it, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend the series to just about anyone... but then we come to the elephant in the room...

A very bizarre and unpleasant recurring element of the story is that Mami poses as a nude model for her artist father in exchange for pocket money. To be clear, this is never presented as suggestive in the context of the plot, but it also doesn’t exactly add anything essential to the narrative, and from a Doylist perspective it’s frankly difficult to fathom any non-creepy reason why it needs to be present in the first place. 😬

Truth be told, I think these scenes do a disservice to the work if anything. Esper Mami contains so much more that is worth discussing, but it is almost impossible to talk about the series without addressing this uncomfortable component. With it taking over the conversation among some potential audiences and putting off others, appreciating the other elements of the series for what they are can be a challenge.

[skylarmoon71]

HR Wells (Flash) - Chapter 11

A wild night in town was something you all needed. Stepping into Star Labs the next morning you feel a bit refreshed. HR is the first person you see. He grins.

“Well if it isn’t Whitney Houston.” You laugh.

“There’s a Whitney Houston on your earth?”

“Essentially, she has a different name but that’s not important. You have a beautiful voice (Y/N)! You should use it more often.”

“I think with all the work we do here I’m pretty busy.”

“You’re right, you’re right. Especially with your new mojo.” He does a little wiggle with his eyebrows.

“Actually HR, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.” You step closer, and he looks eager.

“Yes, anything, hit me.”

It’s finally just the two of you. You mean to get to the point, tell him exactly how you feel. How you’ve been feeling for a while now. Your words get stuck, somehow you get distracted by his perfectly kissable lips. They’re so pink, and begging to be touched. HR follows your gaze, and he gulps.

“U-Umm did it get hot in here or is it just me?” He pulls at the collar of his shirt with a laugh.

You can’t help it. The initial decision was to discuss this, but it’s hard when he looks this cute. Taking one step, you’re so much closer. HR opens his mouth to say something.

“(Y/N) let’s test your powers!” Cisco’s excited yell calls from around the corner. HR takes a step back babbling.

“I-I should get on some s-science stuff.”

He rushes off. You frown when Cisco enters. He slows his step when he sees your glare, as well as your suit that has presented itself.

“Uhh, you good?”

“Peachy.” You spat.

Something told him this training session would be a bit rough.

~~~

HR tries to busy himself in the lab, anything to keep him occupied. His mind keeps running back to what happened.

“Was she trying to kiss me?”

It felt that way, hell it looked that way, but you hadn’t. Maybe he was delusional.

“Why are you acting weird?” Harry asks.

“I’m not acting weird, who’s acting weird? You’re the one being weird.”

HR’s little rant to Harry accusation is proof enough. HR continues drumming and Harry just goes back to work. He’d long learned to deal with his counter parts' insistent need to hit everything with those sticks.

“Soooo, what did you think about (Y/N)’s performance last night? Great right?”

Harry nods absently, adjusting his glasses to study the board better. He’s twirling the marker in his hand.

“Yeah I mean you would know. Since you two are so close and all.”

“Yes.” Harry is still fixated on his equation, so he doesn’t see through HR’s slick questioning.

“So how close are we talking?”

“I’ve kissed her.”

HR froze, and Harry turned.

“Is that what this is about. You’re trying to see if she’s available.” Harry’s nonchalant attitude sort of puts HR off. HR looks a bit more guarded now. This is quite frankly the first time HR looks irritated.

“What if I told you I have feelings for her, would you stop looking at her like a lovesick puppy.” HR is clearly uncomfortable.

“I haven’t been-”

“It’s stupid to deny it. Anyone can see you care about her. The better question is why you haven’t done anything about it? You’re afraid you’d lose to me.”

“She isn’t some prize!”

Harry smirks.

“That sounds like something a loser would say. I bet you’re just bored. Did you mess around with her doppleganger on your earth, and came to see if it’s the same. “

“I’d never do something like that!” HR is a bit stunned at the way Harry speaks.

“Really, you lied about your capabilities, how can I trust you?”

“I-I care about her!”

“Doesn’t seem that way. You’re a coward. You couldn’t even confront her. It looks to me that you don’t even understand how you feel.”

“I do!”

“Really, I don’t think so.”

“You have no idea what it’s like being in love with someone who’ll never see you the same!!” HR accuses.

“Y-You really think (Y/N) will love someone like me. She’s strong, independent, caring and amazing. Even before she got those powers I knew she was special. What greater thing do I have to offer her than half baked ideas and moral support. She deserves better.”

“HR…”

He turns, shocked at your presence. You're at the entrance, and HR gaze falters.

“I hadn’t intended to push you so far. But I needed to know that your intentions were good. (Y/N) is special to me, she’s like family.”

It occurs to him that he’d been played. Because Harry’s gaze looks quite similar to the way he looks at all the other members of team flash. Dropping his drumsticks on the desk, he turns, storming off.

“H-HR wait!”

You run off after him, and Harry places down the marker. It’s possible that he pushed too far, but he could deal with HR’s bruised ego if it was at the expense of never having to see you heartbroken again.

[ask-professor-laurel]

I saw someone ask Professor Peach this and now I’m curious- what are your thoughts on the other professors you know? I know you’ve mentioned it before but I want the last 👀

Haha happy to oblige!

Oak - To put it frankly, we can't stand each other. He's old-fashioned and arrogant, stuck in his ways, and dangerously irresponsible with how he hands out Pokemon to inexperienced children and sends them off with a Pokedex and nothing else to potentially get mauled by the first wild Pokemon they see. He doesn't like that I call him out on his actions. We avoid each other.

Elm - Nice guy! Very shy, bit hard to talk to, but nice to have a quiet conversation with. I think he needs to, in the kindest way possible, grow a bit of a backbone. He tends to let people walk all over him and as a result is a bit irresponsible when letting people adopt Pokemon from him.

Birch - If you want a fun time, he's the best professor to go to! Anytime I go to Hoenn I visit him first thing, he's a great friend and always great to hang out and catch up with.

Rowan - Hard to get a read on? We don't really talk much beyond professional work stuff. I wouldn't say he's intimidating, but he is hard to talk to. We've met at a few conferences and exchanged a few work calls, but nothing really beyond that.

Juniper - I practically grew up around Juniper- her and my aunt Lyla are really good friends! She's great, amazing with kids, and I love getting her on a tangent about whatever she's researching at the moment. I talk to her probably the most out of the professors I know- besides my aunt, of course.

Sycamore - Probably the most charming man I've ever met. His research into Mega Evolution is fascinating, even if I don't agree with all his theories, we still have had a lot of great discussions about all the possibilities. He's very open to feedback and criticism, a trait not all professors share, so it's always very refreshing to talk to him! He also brings up his own feedback and criticisms when we talk about my own work, which I really appreciate.

Kukui - Love this guy! We've worked together quite a bit- every time I'm in Alola, I'm off to see him and get his help with my research. He's also great for a fun battle, and then to go and get food and kick back and relax after work. I often enlist his help for transferring Pokemon around- especially any tropical Pokemon that wind up in our care.

Magnolia - We... don't get along very well. Not for any professional reasons- we can work fine together, but it's more... personal. I don't like how she treats others, having grown up seeing what her influence did to those in her care. We don't talk much and only work together when we have to. It's unfortunate.

Sonia - This one goes without saying, but Sonia is one of my very best friends. Our lines of research overlap sometimes and we love to work on things together. We meet up often and share our work, bounce ideas off of the other, get feedback, that sort of thing! Sonia and I have known each other since our trainer days, we go way back, she's like a sister to me.

And a, ah, little self-indulgent addition, even though he isn't a full professor yet...

Hop! - We know I love Hop, he's my little brother in every way except by blood. I helped raise the kid, and I'm so proud of him for finding his own path. I'm also, yes, very happy he's working to be a professor because that means I get to go see him a lot for "work" reasons. He's due to visit here next week, I think, doing some research up in the mountains where I'll be joining him. Can't wait!

[thealmightyemprex]

Star Trektrospective:Star Trek VI The Undiscovered Country

Next on the Trek reviews is Star Trek VI ......Which is my second favorite/perhaps most favorite Trek movie

Plot :PEace seems to be on the horizon between the Federation and the Klingons ,which Kirk(William Shatner) is uneasy about ,however when high ranking Klingon official ,Chancelor Gorkon (David Warner) is assassinated ,and Kirk and McCoy (DeForest Kelley ) are accused by General Chang (Christopher Plummer ) it is up to Spock(Leonard Nimoy ) and the Enterprise crew to find the true identity of the assassins

So this movie is great .Its basically a political thriller just in space.It is very tense with some good twists and turns.I also like that the film has multiple villains,with a twist villains and a traditional scenery chewing heavy who is our main focus

The direction in this film is great ,by returning director Nicholas Myer .The film had to cut costs (Using a lot of sets from The Next Generation and models from previous films ) but yet its one of the most cinematic looking Trek movie,with an excellent use of shadows ,and there is also some brilliant editing

Now this is a very political film by design.Yes there is the obvious allegory about the fall of the Soviet Union ,which I think works,the Klingons were originally stand ins for the Russians(Before becoming Viking Samurai in later iterations ) and frankly I dont think allegory must always be subtle ,and it makes for a good story.The other political aspect is just the main thrust of the story....It is about changing times and really the fear of change ,as well as prejudice .A thing I really like about the film is while the villains are definately preguidced ....So are most of our heroes ,especially Kirk,and they must grow ,they have to accept change .Plus I just like that our heroes ARENT paragons ,they have all too human flaws they must overcome ,which is refreshing after last movie,where Kirk is right all the damn time

Lets dive into the cast .....And where do I start .This film is loaded with great performances from W Morgan Shepherd as a Klingon warden,Kurtwood Smith bringing strength to the Federation President , Michael Dorn gets a fun small role as the grandfather of his character Worf from The Next Generation and Deep Space 9,and even a cameo by Christain Slater (Also have to point out in some versions of the film Rene Auberjunois has a role too,but not in the DVD version I watched for this review.I only bring him up cause a few years later he would really make his mark in Trek as Odo in Deep Space 9 ).

So before we get into the really important characters.....I need to discuss a character who doesnt quite work for me :Valeris .She is a Vulcan protégé to Spock and yeah she is a stand in for Saavik ,but they couldnt get Kirstie Alie and no one asked Robin Curtis ,so they made up this new character .Now she is not a bad character ,she is played by Kim Catrall who is a very talented performer ......But the fact she is clearly supposed to be Saavik,mixed with her place in the story ,combined with the fact she doesnt feel that Vulcan ,I dunno she doesnt work for me .

As for the rest of the new characters they are all great :Rosanna DeSoto brings a strength to Gorkons daughter Azetbur ,and Iman is wonderful as the shapeshifting inmate Martia .David Warners casting as Gorkon is inspired ,for Warner is most well known for playing villains,and one would assume a Klingon (The big bad guys of early Trek ) played by Warner would be a villain....And yet Warner brings a warmth and wisdom to Gorkon ,making it clear he is a good man with noble asperations,tragically assassinated for his views ,Warner is so great in this role I wish he was in the movie more .

Now lets get to our villain ,the General Chang played by Christopher Plummer ,who is an utter delight . One it is really cool to see an actor as great as Christopher Plummer in a role like this,adding a bit of gravitas and intensity to this Klingon Warrior who has his own agenda ......While also clearly having a ball . There are moments where he is legit menacing ,but other times where he is just gobbling up scenery ,especially during the climax .Added awesomeness : The role was written for Plummer ,a well respected Shakesperian Actor (PRobabbly most notable for his protrayal of Hamlet ) ,so Nicholas Meyer made Chang a Shakespeare fanboy ,so we get Christopher Plummer as a Klingon SCREAMING Shakespeare qoutes mid battle and it is glorious .He's just a really awesome bad guy and one of my favorite Trek villains.I honestly wish he was in the film more

As for returning characters we get Mark Lenard being awesome as always as Spocks father Sarek ,John Shuck reprises his role as the Klingon Ambassador from Star Trek 4 bringing a hammy flare to it ,and the always amazing Brock Peters is excellent as Admiral Cartwright ,also from 4 ,with an expanded role in the story,though I wish he had a bigger role in the story . Also without giving away plot stuff , I should not Peter role is a direct refrance to his performance in To Kill A Mockingbird

As for the Enterprise crew.....This is the best use of them .SCotty,Chekov ,Sulu and Uhura all get a chance to shine (With Chekovs big moment being friggin hilarious ) and they all are working together to solve the mystery .Hell Scotty and Sulu help save the day near the end.I especially like the fact SULU IS A CAPTAIN NOW ,THATS JUST AWESOME

The core trio are great ,with Bones having some great moments (I especially like him cracking a joke that makes the Klingons laugh during his trial ). Shatner gives a phenomenal performance ,with one bit of bold acting that is actually kind of chilling and he has an amazing arc through the film .However I think this is Leonard Nimoys best performance in the movies,as this is really the end of Spocks arc that has spand well 25 years,he has gotten to the point he is not afraid to embrace his human side ,he really takes charge in this film ,and there is a powerful moment where Spock actually briefly shows his anger

So I do have one scene I dont like though in the movie where the heroes do something....Dubious.Now I dont mind the heroes doing something dubious ,but this specific thing is VERY unfcomfortable and feels like a line .I dunno it doesnt work for me

If I have any other gripes....I'm not a fan of the alien makeup ,they just dont look that good .....However the acting is good,the plot is good the effects are good ,it looks good ,the music is good,its overall a good movie

Also I must admit due to it being the final adventure with the TOS crew,and with the final scene combined with the way the credits are handled.....I get a little choked up watching this one

Overall I love this movie,I think it is a truly great movie ,and up there with Wrath of Khan

@ariel-seagull-wings @metropolitan-mutant-of-ark @amalthea9

[marzipanandminutiae]

Or for something a little lighter, Edith/Lucille 4

(Doing this one first because it's been stuck in my mind since I read the prompt at work.)

teacher/single parent au

"I'm sorry, Miss Cushing, could you please explain the situation again? I don't think I follow."

Edith curled and uncurled her toes inside her sensible oxfords, wishing for the hundredth time to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. Parent conferences were unpleasant at the best of times, but this woman was something else entirely.

True, with a child like Theresa, you expected the parents to be a bit unusual. Clean, punctual, almost too polite for a seven-year-old, and more interested in reading on her own than in four-square or My Little Pony- if the little girl hadn't been so effusive in praising her "Mama," Edith would have expected an overbearing harridan of the sort who banned all toys and invented homework when none was assigned.

A mother like that would have been easier to categorize than Lucille Sharpe.

"Theresa punched one of her classmates in the face," Edith repeated. "Twice."

Lucille raised an eyebrow- perfectly arched, perfectly dark against her pale skin, as precise as everything about her. From her midnight-blue skirt suit with its oddly fantastical embroidery of trailing black vines, to the mirror shine on her dark stilettos, she could have stepped out of a particularly artistic fashion magazine.

"And what had they done?" God, this woman's accent was made to personally victimize lesbians who watched too much Masterpiece Theatre.

(Down, girl, she scolded herself. Parents are off-limits. Even if they do have legs for days and cheekbones that could cut glass and- no! Stop that!)

Edith sighed. "I did explain this in the email, Ms. Sharpe."

"Refresh my memory." Lucille smiled. Edith was reminded forcibly of a documentary on crocodiles she'd watched the week before.

"They took another student's doll and were trying to keep it away from her. No-one had gone for the recess monitor yet."

"So," Lucille said, crossing her legs, "they tormented another child and were punished for it? Is that what you're saying? Forgive me, but I fail to see what my daughter did wrong."

God save me from entitled mothers. "Violence is not an appropriate way for kids to resolve conflicts," Edith explained after mentally counting to ten. "I'm sure we agree on that."

"You must be quite the mind-reader, Miss Cushing," Lucille replied, "to be sure of my opinions before I voice them." Her blue-green eyes didn't waver from Edith's, laser-focusing on the other woman's face as if examining a specimen under a microscope.

She also didn't seem to be blinking, Edith realized. Just in case this situation needed another layer of discomfort.

"I..." Oh, very mature. Sit there staring like an idiot while the parent just basically admitted that she's fine with her child beating up other students. In spite of herself, a flicker of anger darted across Edith's mind. Who did this woman think she was? And before she could think, she found herself snapping, "I hope I do, because if I'm wrong, you frankly have far bigger issues than your daughter ever could."

The urge to clap her hand over her mouth- or better yet, to run from the room -was overwhelming. That was it. The end of her reputation. Talking back to a parent when she was supposed to be the calm one, the rational one, above emotional outbursts...she'd never live this down, not as the most junior teacher at Radcliffe Elementary. So this was what it felt like to become a cautionary tale in real-time.

Edith's nails dug into her palms. Her mind raced through options- shouting, threats, storming out to escalate things to the principal. There were only a few ways this could go. She'd seen them all happen before, to other teachers, and sworn that would never be her. But now...

Lucille- smiled. A real smile this time, clearly, but one as thin and sharp as a blade. It wasn't encouraging. Her eyes flickered slightly lower than Edith's, then back up to meet her gaze again.

"Well, then. She has a bark and a bite." A wave of some slightly dusty perfume- lilies? -washed over Edith as Lucille leaned forward across the cheap laminate desk between them. The classroom, always a little chilly, suddenly seemed to grow a bit too warm for comfort.

"Miss Cushing," she said quietly, "perhaps we could discuss what issues I do or don't have over a drink sometime?"

[commonwealthoccurences]

Companions React: Sole Has Chronic Insomnia and Falls Asleep Abruptly

Cait:

When Sole dropped in the middle of a fight, she swore they’d been shot. She felt her heart sink as she raced across the field to get to them, cursing the universe for letting them get hurt yet again. When she couldn’t find any wound on them, she was even more alarmed; internal wounds were something close to an instant death sentence in the Commonwealth.

After dragging them somewhere somewhat safe and ending the fight, Cait rushed them back to Sanctuary, thanking the stars that they were somewhat close by. She’d been too wrapped up in preparing for their battle that she hadn’t noticed any signs that might’ve pointed to what was going on with them. Guilt ate at her until the medic returned to the front of the clinic to speak with her. “It appears it was simply exhaustion that caused them to pass out. We’ll keep them here and make sure to monitor them, but they’ll be fine.”

Cait breathed a sigh of relief, sitting back in her chair and staring up at the ceiling for a moment. She knew they were an insomniac, but not to this extent. Was there something she could’ve done? She recalled all the times they brushed off her encouragement to sleep, knowing that it wouldn’t help and they’d just end up laying in bed all night wishing they weren’t conscious. Cait rubbed her fingertips across her forehead and pressed her lips together. Feeling helpless was her least favorite experience, and yet, there she was, chronically unable to help.

Curie:

Curie was more than concerned the first time Sole fell asleep sitting up in the middle of talking to Preston. She politely told Preston she’d take care of them and that they must’ve gotten a poor night’s sleep, indirectly asking him to leave. Of course she’d noticed they were struggling to get sleep recently, if the bags and dark circles under their eyes were to be taken as indicators, as well as their sluggish movements and lack of patience as of late.

She eased them out of their chair and onto the floor, not wanting them to wake up with a sore neck from being propped up at the meeting table. They kept a spare blanket on their couch in case any settler needed to stay with them, so she grabbed it and spread it over them. Their back may be a little sore in the morning, but it was the best she could do for them.

With a sigh, she watched them, finally resting yet seeming so worn in appearance anyway. There had to be a way to solve their insomnia, to finally get them a good night’s sleep that wasn’t due to dropping from running on empty for so long. She knew that even on days like these they didn’t wake up refreshed; it was like emerging from a coma, weighed down by their body trying to take advantage of any moments of rest they got. Her heart ached for them.

Danse:

Danse was no stranger to late nights and the haunting nightmares that so frequently taunted members of the Brotherhood. He watched Sole’s behavior turn into more and more evidence that they weren’t sleeping, despite the obvious signs that they so desperately needed it. They were slow to act, their reaction time lengthening, and lost their temper with more than one member of the Brotherhood. Part of him grew frustrated, but the other half of him knew they wouldn’t be experiencing these things if they had a choice.

He requested their presence at an important meeting, valuing their intelligence and insight and also hoping to have a conversation with them afterwards since they seemed too busy to talk as of late. When they entered the room they looked ready to drop at any moment and Danse felt the concern in him spike alarmingly. If they continued like this any longer they would be making mistakes they couldn’t afford, possibly including getting themself killed.

Wanting to monitor them closely, he gestured to the seat next to him and waited the couple of moments they took to realize he wanted them to sit next to him. With a flash of a smile they couldn’t bring to reach their eyes, they made their way slowly across the room and dropped into the seat next to him. The way they treated their own body like dead weight they could no longer bear made him suck in a breath. There was no way they were still healthy. Selfishly, he missed the brightness they often brought with them.

It was several minutes after Elder Maxson began talking that he realized they’d completely passed out. Considering they were one of the most reliably professional members of the Brotherhood, he knew the situation was even more serious than he’d realized.

Once Maxson paused for breath, Danse stood, uncomfortable with the attention that was immediately turned to him. “I apologize for the interruption, Elder, however I believe Sole needs to seek medical attention.” Elder Maxson turned to look at Sole, slumped over in their chair looking like the dead warmed over, and nodded his assent. Danse quickly reached down and pulled them carefully out of their seat and into his arms. It was a quiet walk to the infirmary, his boots echoing in the empty halls, Sole’s breathing blowing air across the skin on his neck.

Once they were properly situated in the clinic, the doctor reassured him that they were fine if not a little dehydrated and definitely exhausted, and he was seated in the chair beside their bed, he allowed himself to sink back and think. When had their issues started? Probably long before he met them, but he never had the time to pay attention to what they were going through; it was mission after mission, meeting after meeting, and he did what he could for them, but it wasn’t much at the end of the day.

Danse knew he didn’t have much time to keep them company; he was required to hurry back to the meeting as soon as possible. However, he did take a moment to make sure the blankets were tucked around him and check in with the doctors once again before he stood. Once he had free time he’d have to have a discussion with Sole about ways they could help their insomnia.

Deacon:

Deacon was used to Sole’s unfortunate habit of passing out in the middle of important conversations. When they began swaying on their feet in the middle of the Railroad’s discussion of infiltrating the Institute, he simply wrapped his arm around their waist and pulled their arm over his shoulder as they began to drop. He kept them on their feet without pulling his attention away from the conversation and eventually managed to move them in a way that he could pull them onto his back.

Desdemona paused for a moment to give a look of concern their way, also somewhat aware of Sole’s terrible sleeping habits, but continued to take feedback on the plans. Deacon shifted their weight carefully, supporting the backs of their thighs, their head resting on his shoulder. A few members of the Railroad gave them confused looks but he waved them off with a simple shrug.

As soon as the meeting broke Deacon carried Sole to their sleeping back and eased them down as carefully as he could. It seemed fruitless, though, to be so cautious considering they were out like a light. He knew they’d be out for a while and threw a blanket over them before returning to what he was doing before the meeting. They’d catch up to him when they were awake and ready, and he’d continue to look for a solution to their insomnia.

Gage:

The first time Sole passed out during a conversation with the gang leaders, he thought they were fucking with him. The second time, when they were staking out part of the Nuka Cola factory and simply dropped like a sack of potatoes, he began to get concerned. The third and fourth time after that he was considering running an intervention until they explained there was simply nothing either of them could do other than try to let them sleep when they could.

Gage quickly grew used to catching them before they could hit the ground and easing them somewhere suitable before they got hurt some other way. The raider leaders knew not to question anything and simply move on with the negotiations as Gage either supported Sole’s weight or carefully held them upright in a seat. The one time they questioned Sole’s capabilities as a leader, Sole was a force to be reckoned with when they found out later on.

Hancock:

Hancock was immediately concerned when Sole seemed to faint in the middle of discussing their travels to Pickman’s Gallery. He’d never seen someone so exhausted their body simply shut down and when they awoke he asked a few questions, attempting to figure out if there was something he could do for them. He suggested chems, alcohol, everything Sole had already thought of and tried to no avail. Worried about a good friend and, quite frankly, one of his best assets, Hancock recruited a few people to begin researching creating a chem to help them with their chronic insomnia. 

MacCready:

Mac had been on the receiving end of more than his fair share of insomniatic late nights and knew quite easily the signs that Sole was going through the same thing. This led him to stick close by them as their movements grew more and more sluggish, their feet dragging against the dusty rooftop they were perched on in an attempt to get a birds-eye view of the Gunners. At first, the plan had been to infiltrate right away, wanting to waste no time in getting the information they needed.

However, as they struggled to keep up the slow pace Mac had set, he changed his mind quickly. “Hey, Sole. Why don’t you go ahead and sit down and I’ll set up everything.” 

Sole eyed him suspiciously for a moment, knowing it was rare for him to so generously offer to take first watch, but was too tired to do anything but shrug it off. Mac began unpacking his trusty sniper and getting them settled on the rooftop as Sole sat down nearby, kicking their feet up on a barrel that had been long rusted into place. A few minutes ticked by as Mac worked silently. When everything was good to go, he pulled away from looking through the scope and turned to check on his companion.

With a light chuckle he realized they were fast asleep, jaw hanging slightly open as they slept. As long as they got some sleep, he was willing to stay on the rooftop in the name of recon for as long as they needed.

Maxson:

Elder Maxson’s attention was yanked across the room when Danse stood up and requested to take Sole to the infirmary. Concern crept across his features as he examined their worn form. He’d noticed they were struggling to sleep lately if their dark circles and slumped figure were anything to go by, and had been considering calling them in for a discussion about it. Apparently he had acted too slow. 

With a quick word he postponed the meeting and gestured to attending medical staff to check on them. He stood nearby, hands clasped behind his back tensely as he watched them examine Sole, curious Brotherhood members shuffling out of the meeting room quickly. “They simply passed out from exhaustion, Elder Maxson.” The attending doctor announced.

He sighed quietly to himself and nodded. That’s exactly what he’d figured. “I’ll take things from here.” Maxson’s tone held an undertone of mutually understood dismissal.

Carefully, Maxson eased Sole’s weight out of their seat and into his own grasp. The best plan was to take them back to their quarters and let them get sleep; he would have to remove them from the list of soldiers being sent out tomorrow. Mentally, he thanked the stars that they hadn’t passed out in the middle of a mission and instead safely on the Prydwen.

It was a somewhat uncomfortable walk to their quarters, with members rarely seeing Maxson walking about the airship instead of holed up in his own quarters, much less carrying a soldier as he did. He was grateful they had the decency not to stare too long and instead sent him their regards as he made his way through the halls. When he managed to get their door open and enter their quarters, he couldn’t help his curious look around.

Their quarters were well put-together and neat, their other uniforms folded on top of their dresser and their paperwork stacked concisely on their desk. Pushing away his curiosity he carried them across the room to their bed and lowered them carefully, wincing as their head rolled to an awkward angle. Maxson adjusted their blankets and turned out the light before closing the door softly behind him.

Nick:

To be fair, due to Nick’s lack of need for sleep, he never connected the dots that their ill-appearance had something to do with the fact that they never seemed to sleep. Nick did, however, express concern that maybe they were coming down with something and would prefer to rest. When Sole waved this off he remained worried but chose to drop it. 

It was when they were in the middle of discussing their own case with Nick and their consciousness started slipping that he realized what was going on. With a sigh at his own inability to realize what was going on with them, he eased them into laying down on the couch instead of sitting upright, and drew a blanket over them. After a quick word with Ellie to keep the office quiet, he settled back into his chair.

Piper:

Piper was no stranger to sleepless nights that drew into borderline-sleepless weeks. She attempted to coax Sole into taking a break and sleeping, especially when they were talking about investigating for a story and began falling asleep mid-sentence, but Sole shrugged off her concern with a comment about insomnia and made an attempt to continue the conversation.

The unfortunate side effect of their lack of sleep returned swiftly after and took them right back out of the discussion, much to Piper’s dismay. She moved them until they were reclined on her couch and cursed the fact that they had so much on their plate and their body wouldn’t let them sleep. She made a note to herself to discuss researching other ways to solve their insomnia before she stepped outside, deciding to get lunch to give them some peace and quiet.

Preston:

Preston often took it upon himself to monitor Sole’s condition; if the General wasn’t in the best shape they could be, the Minutemen wouldn’t be either. However, no matter how often he pressed the importance of sleep on them, they never seemed to be getting enough. At first he was frustrated they didn’t seem to be taking his advice seriously, until Mama Murphy commented one day that she’d seen them pacing in through Sanctuary, looking ready to drop at any moment. No one was that exhausted by choice.

He consulted Sturges about possible remedies for insomnia to no avail as he watched their dark circles get darker and the bags under their eyes weigh down their poster until they were walking slowly, feet shuffling and shoulders pushed forward. They did their best to maintain professionalism, however at some point it became all too much.

There was an attack on Sanctuary by raiders chasing after the resources that finally became plentiful enough to support the settlers. The alarm blaring alerted everyone to be aware of their surroundings and fight for their little town shortly after Preston sighted them. Sole had rushed out of their house, nearly tripping over their own feet, gun in hand and eyes lit up in fury despite their exhaustion.

It was no secret they were fiercely protective of the settlement they’d helped put together and the people it housed. They fought hard beside Preston, however it seemed the lack of sleep was finally getting to them. As the raiders began dwindling in numbers, Preston called out to Sole to check if they needed backup. They struggled to respond, knees buckling slightly.

With a shout to Sturges, he caught them and hauled them into a far safer location, putting distance between them and the front lines. Gunfire sounded out, a tad muffled by the distance and the walls of their house, and he dropped them on their couch as gently as he could. They would have to deal with the circumstances until the fight was over.

As soon as Preston returned to the front of Sanctuary, it seemed the fighting finally stopped. The wounded were carted back to the clinic that, thankfully, had just been set up properly, and Sturges led those still not tired to repairing their defensive wall. Preston, sporting a slight sprain to his wrist and multiple scrapes from bullets that just barely missed, returned to Sole’s side to make sure they were okay.

If he didn’t know better he would’ve assumed they were dead, considering the way they were sprawled limply across their couch, unmoved since he unceremoniously dumped them their. He supposed, with a sigh, that they had to give out sometime, and the world simply had the most unfortunate timing. Unsurprising, considering where they lived.

He bandaged and braced his wrist himself as he sat in a nearby chair, watching over them for a moment as he gathered himself. Considering they were out of commission for the time being, he would have to take over leading everyone in recollecting themself after the fight. For the moment, though, he would breathe in time with their resting body, and gather his thoughts. On the list of things to do, after repairing Sanctuary and its people, was finding some way to help Sole’s insomnia.

X6-88:

X6 noticed the moment Sole stopped sleeping; that was technically part of his job. He didn’t predict that he wouldn’t be able to simply tell them to take a break and sleep, though. Once they explained to him that it was more complicated than that and they physically couldn’t get their body to rest, he reported to the Institute scientists.

Perhaps he was exaggerating a bit, out of concern, no, responsibility to the person he was in charge of, but he recommended they consider giving Sole mandatory time off and researching something to help them with their insomnia. Alarmed by X6’s information, the Institute did exactly that. Sure, Sole wasn’t that happy with him for forcing them to take time off, but it was for their own well being. He refused to let it get to the point that he would let them get hurt during something important because they simply couldn’t stay awake any longer.

[sserpente]

Pastel Blue (Chapter 6)

A/N: I hate how I have barely had any time to write lately! In all honesty, moving to a different country is quite  the challenge! 😂 I hope you enjoy the new chapter, I can’t wait to dive back into writing excessively, haha! ♥

Jess breathed out, watching how the warm air turned into fog. It was way too chilly down here. She had asked Mobius to install some radiators months ago but he wouldn’t listen. Loki on the other hand seemed to have no problem with the cold at all. He strutted next to her like he owned the place, with his head held high and a dark expression on his face.

M had a point. Despite the collar, it was a risk bringing Loki to a party of all things. But then again… she would be sure to laugh if he jumbled up the celebrations. Dave deserved it, kind of. Frankly, he could be a dick sometimes.

Loki smirked to himself. Her dress was green, with thin shoulder straps and a heart-shaped neckline. He offered her his arm when they stepped into the cafeteria, bathing in the mistrustful looks the whole of TVA eyed them with.

Mobius was stood at the buffet table, holding a glass filled with vodka and a green olive swimming in it in one hand while the other was buried in his pocket. The tawdry music, the chatting and the constant clattering of plates and cutlery made it nearly impossible for him to make out what the senior manager was saying now.

Warily, Loki glared him down. He was either oblivious to his excellent hearing, stupid enough to discuss such clandestine matters in the hallway or… or he meant for him to eavesdrop. Loki held on to the thought. He trusted him to feed him pathetic bits and pieces of information to keep him on his toes, to throw him small bones like a starved dog.

What if he was cleverer than he assumed he was? If he had incited Jess to spend time with him, make him believe she was on his side when she secretly ran off every day to tell Mobius about his behaviour like a child in day-care? If he used her to keep him on a leash in this godforsaken place? Loki gnashed his teeth.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” He mocked when he spotted him. The Trickster narrowed his eyes at him. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Jess rolling hers. Either way, he would not allow them to manipulate him and instead turn the tables. He was the master of mischief, after all.

“Enjoy yourself while you still can, Loki.” Dave added. “There’s a high chance you’ll kick the bucket next week.”

Jess rolled her eyes once more—or perhaps she was still rolling them, Loki was unsure. His eyes darted over to Mobius again, noticing with both dismay and an odd feeling of satisfaction making itself comfortable in his guts how the senior manager studied their interlinked arms.

A thin smile formed on his lips. Oh yes. Whatever your play is, I will turn it against you and I will burn this entire place to the ground until all you have left is a pile of ash and Jess—lovely and delicate Jess—will help me do so whether she is willing or not.

“Suck it up, Dave.” Jess barked. “Do you drink coke?” She continued sweetly then, directed at Loki.

“I beg your pardon?” He leaned forward slightly—close enough for her nostrils to be filled with his scent like she was some goddamn predator sensing its prey. If anything, Loki would be the predator in this scenario. She was but a lamb compared to him—a lamb who could kick his shin but a lamb nonetheless.

“Coke. Black fizzy drink, very sweet, spiked with Whiskey—not normally but definitely tonight.” She cleared her throat and winked at him and, much to his own surprise, his heart skipped a beat upon the flirty gesture. Perhaps this was the very reason he let her grab his arm and drag him away from both Mobius and Dave to plunder the bar.

“Don’t let her get drunk!” He heard Mobius call after him. Loki frowned.

Whoever was playing bartender tonight and doing a terribly slow job with that, Jess paid them no attention. Unceremoniously, she leaned over the counter, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of Whiskey. Granted, Loki knew nothing of Midgardian drinks and how there were properly mixed, he had a feeling, however, that more than half of the glass filled with Whiskey was not the proper way to mix a delightful alcoholic refreshment.

At least, so he had to admit, the view was a rather delectable one, with her backside wiggling around right before his eyes. He suppressed a dark chuckle.

Once she had tapped the faucet pouring a dark brown liquid to mix with the Whiskey and handed him one, she grinned, heaving herself up onto the counter completely and resting her feet on the barstool.

“Skål!” She announced, winking once more. Loki took a sip to conceal how thickly he had to swallow. As expected, the coke-Whiskey-mixture tasted horrible. His face distorted, making Jess laugh.

“There’s no Asgardian ale in this place, I’m afraid. Do you dance? You’re the God of Mischief, you must be dancing.”

Loki raised his eyebrows in response. “Is that all you will do at this so-called party? Drink and dance and then drink some more?”

Jess shrugged. “Never let anyone tell you that alcohol is not the solution. I’ve had some amazing nights forgetting my own name. So?” She downed her drink, slamming the empty glass on the counter so forcefully he feared it would break under the impact. “Do you dance?”

The music, whatever it was, was too slow for Jess’ taste. She’d much rather listen to some techno hits, and some Hip Hop and Dubstep hits to move her body to. It almost felt a little like space. A place to lose herself in, utterly and wholly, a place making her stronger rather than taking her energy away from her.

But Dave had always had a very uninspiring music taste and, given it was his anniversary, the music was unlikely to change anytime soon. Loki’s lips parted when she took his glass from his hand and downed it too. Neither of them expected the jolt of electricity rippling through them when she took his hand and entangled her fingers with his to pull him towards the middle of the cafeteria where Minutemen of all departments, scientists and even some of the security were moving to the music.

“That’s an interesting development after all, don’t you think?” Loki heard Dave say. Jess swirled them both around, her blue eyes closed in an attempt to dream herself into a reality where she could go out with her friends and lose her mind in a dimly lit nightclub surrounded and desired by both men and women alike. She would drink until she had forgotten about her parents and until she had lost her grasp on reality to enter space and be free and independent. Jess did not allow herself to dream often these days, for when she did… the urge to escape this place once more and turn her back on Mobius rose to an extent it brought her physical pain to resist.

“Well, he is charismatic. That doesn’t mean anything, does it? Jess has a weakness for bad boys and Loki is pretty much the definition of that.”

“Please. Thor’s little brother, how strong could he possibly be without his beloved sceptre?” Dave snorted.

“I wouldn’t underestimate him, especially not this variant. I wouldn’t have brought him here if I didn’t think he’d be of use. He’s smart. He doesn’t trust us.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mobius shrug. “We have a good reason not to trust him either. Not yet, at least. I’ve studied his entire life, remember?”

“You are not seriously thinking about removing that collar at some point, are you?”

Loki growled, lest he could not decide whether it was because of how good his palm felt against the small of Jess’ back or the way Dave and Mobius kept talking about him behind his back.

“Now I thought you said he couldn’t possibly be that strong without the sceptre?” Dave replied nothing to that. He did not need to. Mobius had made it clear enough that he was the figure of authority here. There was no way, however, he was going to be able to concentrate on this devilish bureaucrat and his ridiculous attempts to manipulate him as long as Jess’ body was rubbing against his in the most wicked ways. This woman, human or not, knew exactly what she was doing, regardless of the alcohol already clouding her system.

He smirked when another song ended and there was a moment of silence in his heart upon the lack of a loud bass reverberating in his chest. Jess opened her eyes in an almost luscious manner and took his hand once more to pour herself another drink.

He liked the way she took charge. Apart from Sif, she was so unlike all the Asgardian women he had known during his time in the realm he grew up in. Jess was neither offering him her devotion nor was she withholding her affection. His heart jumped upon remembering how she had hugged him in the bathroom. Peculiar.

While she emptied another repulsive coke-and-whiskey-mixture, his eyes caught another buffet table positioned at the other end of the room—one he had not seen upon first entering this absurd get-together.

“What is this?” Jess spun around.

“What is what?”

“This.” He pointed at the table. The cooks had outdone themselves with the number of bowls full of fruit neatly chopped up—the highlight, however, was the massive chocolate fountain bubbling away peacefully and luring every passer-by into tasting it.

“Have you never seen a chocolate fountain before?”

Loki frowned, making Jess chuckle. Heavens, if he keeps doing that, his face might stay like that, she thought.

“Come on, I’ll show you.” Once within reach of the buffet table, she treated herself to a strawberry that she stabbed with one of the provided plastic toothpicks and coated it with chocolate. She grinned when Loki’s smirk returned and copied her with the sole difference of picking a grape instead.

“How does this thing operate?”

“Well, I’m not an engineer but as far as I’m concerned, you pour molten chocolate into the fountain, which is electric, and the pump inside will make sure to keep it flowing. Apparently, Asgard is not as advanced as I thought it was. Chocolate fountains are extremely important for one’s emotional wellbeing, you know.” Jess downed the Whiskey glass she had taken with her. “And so is alcohol. Are you gonna stay here all evening now?”

“I just might.” Loki winked.

“Suit yourself.” She announced, holding up her empty glass. “I’m getting another drink.”

The God of Mischief rolled his eyes and snatched her upper arm, holding it tightly enough for to gasp—and not in a terrified or intimidated way, so he noticed. But either way, he was not going to let her poison herself.

“You’ve had enough, don’t you think?” He snarled, snatching the glass from her.

“Excuse me? Give that back.”

“No. I said you’ve had enough.”

“I’m supposed to supervise you, not the other way around! Now give that back.”

Loki scoffed. “You’ll do a marvellous job with that, all drunk and out of your mind.”

Heavens, not again. Jess gasped for air—a desperate sound swallowed by the loud music and the bass vibrating in her chest. Loki caught it nonetheless. There it was, this figurative magnet, this invisible rope tying him to her like a bloody lap dog.

It was genuine concern purling in his stomach, he did know this much. Regardless of Mobius’ half-hearted request, Loki certainly did not want Jess to get drunk and damage her liver beyond repair. Mortals were fragile as was and yet here they were, stuffing themselves with ridiculous amounts of sugar and fat, spending all day watching silly TV shows and pouring alcohol down their throats like it was water from Mimir’s fountain itself.

“I dare you…” He murmured, his composure on the edge of a steep cliff threatening to overwhelm him, rip all control from him. Jess leaned back some more, a feeble attempt to escape his advances that she did not wish to refuse altogether. “I dare you.” He repeated, jumping in at the deep end if anything to quench the curiosity and feel what his body and, for Heaven’s sake, even his mind had been longing for. What had he to lose? “Kiss me. I know you have been thinking about it.”

He pulled her close again and this time, he was certain to have heard a whimper. Loki’s cock stirred, even more so when she turned her head away and his nose brushed against her cheek.

“Is it Mobius?” He purred. Jess struggled to form a proper sentence in response or even breathe evenly. Eventually, she nodded. “I believe… I believe we have both had enough of this party, have we not?”

Jess bit her lower lip and glanced behind herself. M was engrossed in a conversation with Ravonna Renslayer, the badass time judge she never interacted with much. Well… she certainly was none of her concern now.

“Quick,” she breathed out, “before they notice us leaving.”

 ~*~

You are a grown woman. Loki is a handsome man. It’s obvious the chemistry between you is right. You’re sexually attracted to him and he just confirmed that the feeling is mutual. This is not your first one-night stand. It might not be your last. God, I hope it’s not my last. That man is literally not from this world.

“What are you doing?” Jess snapped herself out of her thoughts when Loki stopped in front of one of the control rooms. The walls were made entirely of glass, revealing a bored security officer staring at about a dozen computer screens in utter darkness. “He’ll see us!”

Loki narrowed his eyes and huffed when he found what he was looking for—the camera monitoring Jess’ unit. Ah… this was indeed perfect. Just like he had suspected. He could see the sofa and the unmade sheets on top of it, and the coffee table with countless peanut bags on it. But even without his powers, nobody would see him sneak along the wall and into Jess’ bedroom.

“Loki?”

“There is a dead angle in your unit.”

“So?” He winked again, making her lower regions clench. When he simply kept on walking, she rushed after him like a cat knowing it was about to be fed.

~*~

A/N: Muhahaha. In case anyone is interested what song Loki and Jess danced to, you can find it right here!

[soukokuwu]

"requests are closed??" that cannot stop me because i cant read!! ** URGENT ** power couple comfort needed asap chuuya is the diplomat for the inheritor of a newly departed yokohama media moguls empire who agrees to fold the power of the company to moricorp so long as chuuya agrees to a date yah i need this like stat plz

THE OTHER HALF.

✢ genre. fluff ✢ pairing. chuuya x reader ✢ synopsis. you’re going to inherit your father’s media empire, and mori wants in. his ticket? chuuya. ✢ author notes. an urgent request? you got it! in 2 days ehehe i just hope you like this <3

He stares at the pristine white on the walls of the lavishly decorated office corridors. It suits their reputation. Nothing fits the reigning media mogul of Yokohama like grandeur. He would normally express some sort of distaste for how much of these… beautifications are unnecessary, but Mori had already warned him: it is imperative to get on their good side. Political reasons, he added. As if the mafia doesn’t have enough political influence already.

Although why, of all people, he chose to send NAKAHARA CHUUYA as Port Mafia’s representative to head the meeting, Chuuya himself doesn’t know. A cold-blooded, hot-headed vessel of destruction.

Yes, very plausible, very sensible, he thinks.

Sarcasm. That was sarcasm.

Mori always had his reasons for every decision he made. Some are possibly very fucked up, but even Chuuya admits his manipulation tactics and puzzle-piecing skills rival that of Dazai’s. So he never questions his boss’s decisions. At least, not to his face. He just wonders what is hiding behind this certain choice (of making Chuuya go to the meeting, alone) and how twisted it could be.

Cruising through the halls makes him realise just how much he’d hate it if he was a normal human with a normal, boring desk job. The rooms he passes by, with their glass windows and deceiving transparency, are all full of people either typing away on their keyboards or speaking into phones with some sort of urgency. Yikes. No thanks, he would much rather work with violence and be on the frontlines than man a desk at a mediocre job with less-than-satisfactory pay.

The redhead guesses that they’re going to take him to the boardroom (which incidentally, he thinks, is quite an appropriate name for a meeting room — rigid, stiff, flat — full of smiles that are painted on and the chatter of mindless opinions crafted only to cater to the ones who matter. If that’s an indication of anything to come, Chuuya is already dreading it.) After all, they had scheduled a meeting for discussions with the director on future possibilities of working with the mafia.

Chuuya does admit though, it would be very useful to have the media on their side. Not only digital, but print as well. The possibility to spread propaganda and cover up crimes. This company has it, and Mori is hungry, eager to take over. (Or at least, to establish dominance over them.) Maybe that’s why he chose the gravity manipulator. To make them comply with the threat of crushing them with his brute force should they refuse. It’s harsh. Not that he would mind if it comes to that. There’s a certain satisfaction, a certain kick, he gets out of seeing everyone before him cower in fear.

Because it means he’s in control.

And Chuuya loves being in control. After all, he controls the very things that holds everyone in its grip — gravity.

Ironically, though. What he doesn’t have control over is his own feelings. Mostly unpleasant. A temper so fiery and an impulse so unexpected. Today, though, there is a turn of events. Because as he turns the corner to enter the boardroom, he spots a pair of eyes on him, observing him shrewdly.

No, it isn’t yours. But your father’s.

Wrinkled face wrinkles up even more as they eye him from head to toe, expressing obvious displeasure in the form of tuts and a deepening frown. Chuuya can just tell from how the man wears an expensive tailored suit — probably from a high end luxury brand that Chuuya can’t even pronounce properly — and how his tie is tightened so firmly against his neck that he probably always has a stick up his ass.

But a whiff of something… refreshing skips pass his nostrils and all the hostility from seeing the director disintegrates into — what is this? Chuuya can’t even tell, another irritating reminder he doesn’t understand his own emotions all that well.

And that, that is when he first lays eyes on you.

If you’re wondering, no, it’s not that cinematic moment where you walk in and he’s immediately blinded by the light you bring with you thanks to that invisible halo you carry on your head. Chuuya sees the world through anything but rose-tinted glasses. He is captivated by you though, somehow. Maybe it’s the way you stride in so confidently, with your blazer fitted against your body tightly — not too tight — you don’t want to give off ‘sexy’ vibes, do you? Not in the office. No, you just radiate some show of ‘proper’ and ‘togetherness’ that other ladies must be envious of. Or so it seems to him, at least. Then he wonders again, maybe it’s the way you so nonchalantly brush past him, your shoulder nudging against his, not a care in the world for who he is.

He thinks he’s got his reasoning, a feasible enough reason of why he’s intrigued — you’re young, you’re sexily sophisticated (he just knows you are), and to be a part of this meeting, you must have a sort of… power, so to say.

And then you just have to, don’t you? You just have to take a seat on that chair (in an angle that seems to cater perfectly to Chuuya), cross your legs just enough so your skirt rides up your thigh high enough to leave him wanting to see more, but not enough to be considered as a bold move of seduction. The kicker? That smirk you wear when you realise that he’s staring. He always hated that expression; the one that other people wear out of the satisfaction of their triumph. Especially when it’s against him. But then why does he think he can look at yours forever?

Not even five minutes into the ‘discussion’ and Chuuya already finds out you’re the director’s daughter, the one who would inherit the company very soon. (He fails to properly listen to the reason why because his focus starts to fixate on you, the surrounding all melding into one — the sights, the sounds.) To which you respond with batting your eyelashes at the redhead and wearing an innocent smile yet at the same time being shrouded in an air of… mystery.

The debate on just how much of the empire that Port Mafia would control in the future is not quite a negotiation. If they want to, then they can just force the director’s hand, maybe kidnap his daughter — Chuuya glances briefly toward you before focusing back on your father and the tablet (apparently the company made a sort of presentation that Chuuya can say he frankly doesn’t give a shit about) — but no. Even now, he thinks, he doesn’t want anyone to lay a hand on you. Besides, if your current behaviour is any indication, even if the mafia does come after you, you won’t be scared. You look just like the kind of person who always has something up her sleeve. You must take after your father.

“On that note, I will be leaving the final decision up to my wonderful young lady here.”

That manages to bring Chuuya back to his senses.

What? The old man is leaving such an important decision in his daughter’s hands?

Chuuya breathes in deeply. Stay level-headed. He’s got this, he tries to convince himself. Notwithstanding that he has made it this far only because of the training Kouyou’s given him on the art of appeasing old uncles and kissing their ass so that they give him what he wants.

Guess Mori isn’t as thorough as Chuuya thinks he is.

“Now, you can focus on me.”

Right on cue. As soon as the director leaves.

Look at that, he was right. You are confident. You are smug. You are observant. And annoyingly enough, you are in control. Because to do his job properly, he has to act like he’s wrapped around your finger. (He fails to realise he already is.)

Chuuya clenches his jaw, his brain failing to function in this pivotal moment, failing to filter any kind of acceptable responses. So he stays silent, mind going a thousand miles an hour just trying to form words, sentences, yet drawing a blank. And any normal person in your position would have spoken up by now, but you? You’re reeling in his inexplicability, silently. Observing him as though he’s an animal trapped in a glass cage for all to admire.

You lean back against your chair, the padded back bending backwards to support your weight. Your arms are crossed over your chest and the smirk has not left your face. If anything, it gets wider. Neither of you give in. You both keep your gaze locked on each other, and the silence grows on him. The comfort sneaks up on him. It’s weird. Is he dreaming it? Is he being delusional? Why is that he feels that with you, more is said through your silence than words? If so, being under your carefully appraising eye would be an honour.

Chuuya thinks, no no, he knows, he hears you muttering under your breath. He wants to retort, but words don’t find him. Only silence and stillness.

But it doesn’t last any second longer because you scoff in amusement and grab the paperwork regarding the partnership off the spot your father has left behind. Your eyes don’t leave his cerulean ones though. It’s almost as though you’re hyper-focused on him. Or is it the other way around? Maybe it’s mutual?

You do eventually break the stare though, to turn your back and walk out the door, but not before you stop at the edge, bidding goodbye with a lopsided smile and a “Park Hotel, 8pm, seventieth floor.”

Four hours seemed like a lot of time to prepare.

Seemed.

It isn’t.

Because now, at 7.56pm, Chuuya is still staring nervously at himself in the mirror of the hotel bathroom. A flurry of thoughts occupy his state of mind.

Is my tie okay? It’s not lopsided, is it? He thinks about your lopsided smile as he adjusts the black tie set against his red dress shirt. His black coat is replaced by a black fitted blazer. Then he wonders if you’re still in your work outfit.

Damn it, why can’t he get you out of his mind?

You’re a necessary ally, he thinks. That’s why, he convinces himself. Although, not really. If you are just another job, another person the Port Mafia needs to brainwash, then why is he so nervous about this date? His hands freeze in their motions as he questions himself.

Is this what it is? A date?

By 7.59pm he’s up on the seventieth floor, and the moment he steps out of the elevator, an usher tells him to follow. Wow. Having an already established media empire the moment you were born must have been a big bonus for you, hasn’t it? Chuuya imagines you’re spoiled; you’ve lived your whole life with the lavish luxury you currently stand to inherit now. But he gives you due credit. For your father to entrust the dealings of the Port Mafia to you, you must be very capable. Not that he has ever thought otherwise.

In the short hour that he had interacted with you earlier, he knows you’re anything but a bimbo. But you must have thought he was similar to one, huh? What with him being speechless over nothing.

Once he reaches the private room, he’s greeted by you already seated, right leg crossed over your left, fingers flipping through the menu, unfazed by his arrival. The door shuts behind him, and it’s back to this air of oppressed silence. Chuuya slowly glides over to his seat across from you, eating you up from your head down to your little tippy toes. You are less covered up now, your office suit giving way to a remarkably eye-catching black maxi, although he does admit, what catches his eye is that slit that runs up your thigh.

Now, now, you look sexy.

When he settles down, he notices the agreement from this afternoon sitting by the edge of the glass table, all complete save for his and your signatures. The numbers 70 and 30 briefly register in his head. The former, of course, rightfully belonging under you. He furrows his brows. That’s twenty percent lower than what Mori is expecting. How can he negotiate with you, then? What more can he bargain with?

But as he looks up from the document to you, you’re already observing him, wearing a flirty (with a side of smug, as he expects) smile on those lips of yours.

“There’s always a price to pay, Mr. Nakahara.”

Chuuya is slightly baffled. The other workers in your office are boring and own a one-track mind. But evidently you don’t belong in the same group as them.

Is this a game to you?

“Name it.” He does want to know what you’re seeking from him, and he knows he’s not nearly as witty enough to figure it out on his own.

You never give anything away easily though. Chuuya learned that much. Instead of giving answers you lean back on your seat, just as you did earlier, and revert your attention back to the menu.

“So, you are capable of speaking to women after all, huh?”

The rest of the dinner is filled with conversations that don’t pertain to what it should. Instead of discussing the deal, he gets sidetracked, oddly intrigued by what you personally find fascinating. Chuuya remembers that first wave of pleasant surprise wash across your face when he asks about what you like, what you do outside of work. You know, the common exchange. But it must slip his mind that you aren’t used to ‘clients’ taking an interest in you, as a person.

Neither of you realise the abrupt change in the tone of the evening. You both kind of just ease into it.

Chuuya memorises what you tell him; how you actually like what little time you have outside of work; how you talk about books as your escape, the way your favourite author’s name rolls off your tongue so easily even though it’s a foreign name. He notes how your eyes sparkle when he pays you a compliment about how your brain works instead of the usual comments you receive on your appearance. He also loves how you talk just that little bit faster when you’re excited about a topic.

But he also learns how your smile is forced when you talk about your family, or anything remotely related to your work. He notices how you bite your lip when you talk about barely having time to enjoy anything outside of work. And how until now you’ve been a slave to the company, having to learn and grind on knowledge about anything and everything that you need to know to run it. A shut-in with a twist, if he might label it.

Chuuya was wrong then, he realises. Your life has not been one of free rides; easy passes. It didn’t get easier because of who you are. It was the reverse. It got harder because more was expected out of you. Your life at home wasn’t any easier. Turns out your father was, and is still, a tyrant. You’ve never known to enjoy yourself.

“Until tonight.”

Only now does it dawn on Chuuya why you set this whole thing up in the first place. This way you get to have some time to enjoy yourself at a ‘date’ disguised as a business meeting, because then dear daddy won’t get mad at you now, will he? You’ve probably never experienced romance, have you? Given your tight schedules and overbearing parents. Chuuya must be your first.

He gets just slightly giddy thinking of that possibility.

And by the time your plates are cleared and the bill is paid (by your father, apparently, because you grinned and charged it to his credit card; Chuuya thinks it’s acceptable because from what he hears, the director doesn’t seem to be a very good man at all, why not charge it to the man?), he makes his mind up to really help you make full use of your night.

That’s how he finds himself ten minutes later with you standing on the edge of the neighbouring skyscraper, your fingers intertwined tightly with his. Your first exposure to his ability. ‘Holy shit’ were your exact words. Despite how you carry yourself in the office, it’s almost unbelievable how childlike you look now, admiring the sight before you. Losing all your childhood because of who you’re expected to be… Chuuya knows all too well what that feels like. Minus the bond that is family, of course. Although now, he guesses he can call the Port Mafia such.

“Forty.”

Chuuya arches a brow. “Forty?”

You press your lips together to suppress a grin, nodding at him. “Highest I can go for you, Mr. Nakahara.”

“My boss wants a half, though,” Chuuya grimaces in faux sheepishness. Of course Mori would be fine with a forty, but it’s fun having a back-and-forth with you. Or maybe this is his way of convincing himself this is nothing more than continuing a pleasant conversation.

There’s something in your reaction that gets him so curious. It’s how you grin yourself silly and can’t even manage to look him in the eye. Or the way you try to untangle your fingers, only to find Chuuya has gripped them even tighter. He doesn’t even have to ask for you to know what he’s thinking of.

“Fifty is for family only, sorry.”

He waltzes through the narrow corridors and carpeted floors like it’s home. It might as well be, he’s been here about as many times as he’s been to the Port Mafia headquarters in the same duration. It doesn’t look as tacky as it used to. Or is it just because he’s used to it? Or maybe the gradual changes all seem like nothing to him because he visits this place every single day.

Chuuya sighs. No matter, he’s got other things to worry about.

“No, forget about making your own notes. Negotiate. I want exclusivity on this.”

There it is. Your bossy, domineering voice.

He leans by the doorframe. Your subordinates all dub you the ‘boss from hell’. Personally he can’t see why. But then again, you’re an absolute angel to him. (He never gets tired of seeing the shock register on everyone’s faces when they see you be all lovey-dovey with him.)

Feels good. Being the exception.

When the conversation ends, you hang up the phone and turn over, finally noticing your boyfriend by the door. It’s like a switch turns in you; your hostility melts away and those deep downturned lines rotate into a smile. Even now, five years later, you still have a childlike innocence to you; he sees this right now by how you skip towards him like an elated dog seeing its owner is home.

Did he just compare you to a dog…? Out of all the things he likes, why did he — he mentally facepalms himself but shrugs it off. Like he’s said before, he has more pressing matters to think about.

It’s amazing to think how far you both have gotten. From being strictly business to unspoken feelings in a matter of hours, to where you guys are now. Frankly, he didn’t think it was possible for someone like him. He gravitates away and thinks back to the first time he stepped foot in here.

Huh, maybe Mori did know what he was doing after all. That man ended up being your matchmaker. Chuuya inwardly grimaces and shudders and the thought.

But you pull him back to earth.

Your arms snake around his neck and you hook your legs around his waist. Lucky you’re wearing a pantsuit today, because the last time you did that, i.e. yesterday, you were wearing a skirt and it rode up your thigh a little too high. Yeah, Chuuya wasn’t too happy when some of your male coworkers got to see a glimpse of your ass. But he can’t blame you, you were just that excited to see him. Something he finds remarkable given you’ve been together for four years.

“Didn’t think you’d come here this early,” you comment as you get down, your hands still round his neck. “What brings you by, Chuu? Or should I say, future boss of the Port Mafia?”

He gives you a peck on the lips. His nickname falling from your lips just sound so right. You’re right, he usually comes by after you both are done with work. That usually means 8pm onwards. (You both are pretty invested in your companies. Especially now so for Chuuya that he’s been announced a few days ago as the one to take over the mafia in the future.)

“Today I’m here for professional reasons, princess, to offer you a proposal,” Chuuya coos, a gloved thumb grazing over your cheek.

“Hmm?” You look up at him quizzically. “Okay, shoot.”

Chuuya grins at you, his eyes closing and forming into crescents. He opens them slowly as he presses his forehead against yours.

“I think it’s time for that fifty-fifty.”

✢ tags. @yokelish @gogolparadise @fyowyn-writes

[drxwsyni]

Tell Me What You’re Thinking (pt. 2/2)

Yandere merman!Shinsou Hitoshi x gn!Reader

Summary: Studying abroad on a remote tropical island, a life threatening event prompts a certain merman to come to your rescue. Coincidence or not, the meeting results in his intentions being set in stone.

All characters are aged up (18+).

Warnings for this part: injury, mild violence, suggestions of poor parenting

6.6k words

a/n: This is the final part to my mermay fic for the bookclub! I’m fairly happy with how this turned out, and I hope you guys enjoy it too!

Prompt: “It’s really not that complicated.”

Part 1

_____

Another day of work went completely down the drain. Not as in your accomplishments being ruined or anything like that, rather there weren’t any accomplishments to be had in the first place.

You spent the rest of the evening talking to Hitoshi. He had so many questions.

“What are you studying.”

“Where are your classmates?”

“Does anyone know you're here?”

“How are you enjoying the island?”

“How long are you staying here?”

He was relentless.

But you answered every single one of his inquiries. You owed him, after all. It was the least you could do, and frankly you didn’t mind it.

He was so invested in getting to know you. The treatment was something you’ve never experienced before. And you liked it―someone being committed to understanding you instead of assuming everything.

Even more so, you enjoyed how he seemed genuinely concerned about your limits, unlike others.

The sun was setting, its influence casting a warm haze across the beach. You still hadn’t gotten any work done, but it didn’t matter. It was worth it. You could afford to miss another day of research if it meant catching up on some much needed meaningful human interaction.

Or is human interaction even the right description for it?

It was interaction. That’s all that mattered.

The both of you knew that you couldn’t talk all night, but he wasn’t quite done with his well earned interrogation yet.

You were sitting on the edge of the rocks, feet dangling in the chilled ocean water while Hitoshi rested his arms casually atop the surface. He looked up at you as he spoke, neck craning to accommodate the height difference. “This whole research thing seems like a lot of work―especially if you were going to risk your life for it.”

He seemed to enjoy undermining your capabilities. It came off as playful teasing, but part of you was a little offended that he didn’t think you could handle yourself. But given recent events, the behaviour was probably forgivable―he did meet you in your almost dying moments.

“I guess it is, but if I don’t put in the effort then...I don’t know. I’ll disappoint my parents, which is definitely not something I want to do.” You laughed at the thought, but really the idea of messing up such a perfect opportunity for success was distressing.

And it was clear that Hitoshi picked up on that distress.

“Are you not doing this for yourself? You’re working so hard, what’s the point if it’s not something you even want to do?” His face was turned into that of pure concern, and it made your heart sink a little to think he felt so worried about you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to do it. I like studying at my school, it’s just―sometimes I wish I was doing something I was a little more interested in.” Nervously, your eyes were trained on the rippling water in front of you.

One thing you’d come to note after spending even a few hours with Hitoshi was that his gaze was practically piercing. It made it hard to look him in the eyes as you spoke, even when you were discussing lighter topics. He could be teasing you yet there’d still be an air of seriousness to it. And in times like these his focus on you would no doubt be immobilizing if you had the courage to steal a glance.

But you didn’t need to, not with the disappointed sounding sigh that escaped his lips. “Then why don’t you? Clearly you’re not happy with whatever’s happening now.”

You kicked your feet in the water slightly, trying to stave off the tension he was creating. “I can’t just―listen, there’s nothing I can do about it Hitoshi. I wish there was, honestly...It’s not a big deal.”

There was a long pause, and for a moment you feared that he’d gotten bored with hearing about your unfortunate lifestyle. But he wouldn’t still be associating with you if that was ever a problem.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

The question was so unexpected, it took you a second to comprehend it―another to reply. “Y-you mean like...rant about my feelings?” This time you were looking at him, an automatic reflex to the shock you received from his words.

His gaze was unwavering, showing no signs of going back on what he said. “Sure, maybe I can help.”

At that you gave a lighthearted chuckle, causing a slightly confused look to form on his face. “No offence, but I don’t think there’s much you can do for me. Y’know…” You eyed the shimmering tail that was outstretched in the water, the sight still baffling your preconceived notions of reality.

His tone borderlined on taunting, while still retaining a certain edge to it. “What? Because I’m part fish? I’m sure even like this I can still offer advice, don’t you think?”

As he spoke, the grin he gave was almost threatening. It contrasted his supportive words. Even more so when your eyes laid upon a new realization of his physique.

His canine teeth were inhumanely sharp.

It was practically a set of fangs, just another part about him that was otherworldly.

You disregarded the sudden findings to form a coherent response amongst your semi-flusteredness. “I don’t know...there’s a lot to unpack when it comes to that. I’d hate to bore you to death.”

He gave a warm smile, “I don’t think that’s possible. Really (y/n), you can tell me anything.”

For a moment you paused before responding. Could you really tell him...anything? You weren’t lying, there was a lot that you had buried under the long maintained efforts to suppress your personal opinions. Ones that those important to you wouldn’t quite agree with, and you didn’t have the heart to disappoint them.

But when your mind went back on all he’d done for you up until now, would letting you do this be anymore taxing on him? If anything, Hitoshi proved that he was more than willing to just talk to you. Nothing complicated in the matter. Just mindless discussion with the only goal of becoming more acquainted with each other.

He wasn’t trying to get anything from you. No intentions of advantage-taking were present.

How could you not comply with his request?

And so you did. You told him what ailed you most―those in your life that didn’t take your needs seriously. How oftentimes people liked to pretend that they weren’t pressuring you into things, or judging you for stuff you couldn’t complete with a high degree of success. Thoughts that you would never admit you had to these people for fear of unbearable rejectment.

Hitoshi listened patiently, letting you take your time to form your thoughts and offering words of consolation where it was appropriate. His concern only grew with each passing word. You described how strenuous school could be, despite you yourself thinking you were overreacting.

Thankfully he didn’t think the same. In fact, it was the exact opposite. Somehow it was easy for him to disregard the glaring differences in your lifestyles. He adapted to what you spoke of, altering his words and views to best assist you in easing the aches you carried.

For the most part, his words were short and sweet, but you appreciated them nonetheless. It was unlikely that you’d be able to utilize his words of advice, but the action of speaking itself was more than enough to alleviate your stresses.

As the sky grew darker, you felt the weight of guilt and expectations upon you grow lighter. All the while he didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, living up to his initial offer to let you drown him in your sorrows as well.

So when the moon crested over the surface of the horizon, you could leave him feeling more mentally refreshed than you had in years. The both of you were reluctant to part―you surprised at this given how personally you couldn’t imagine how boring it would’ve been to hear you drone on for a little over half an hour.

Even more confounding, Hitoshi made you promise to come back to the same spot the next day. You would’ve had to either way―being now two days behind in your research. But the notion that he was waiting, anticipating your return brought a warmth to your heart.

You agreed with his desire, and made your way back to the dimly lit cabin before the luminance of the sun could vanish from the sky.

_____

It would turn out that Hitoshi’s patience was a blessing.

You trekked back to the same spot―back to him, after that day with your equipment in tow. Unfortunately, he was quite adamant on spending time with you in pretty much an identical way like you had before. And as much as you would’ve loved to talk endlessly with him, there was no way you were going to finish your research for the final if you did.

So, you laid out some ground rules. Normally you’d spend the whole time at the ocean pools doing something that worked towards your end goal, but with his presence in the mix you’d have to alter your routine.

It was decided that you’d return to him an hour earlier than normal. You’d spend the extra time doing your work, and he’d simply exist alongside of you. Hitoshi wouldn’t necessarily do anything, most times you’d just catch him observing your work habits. Occasionally he’d question your methods, and you’d continue your work while explaining whatever task you were completing to him. Generally, he was a curious sort of creature―and you couldn’t exactly blame him. He didn’t talk much about his interactions with other humans before, but judging by his desire to learn more about your customs, you could assume the presence you gave him had never arisen in a similar way before.

You could relate to his newfound interest in your relationship more than he probably knew. The change from the monotonous lifestyle you had for the past few years compared to what had developed between you and the merman was like night and day. Being so caught up in school didn’t grant much time for socializing, or anything recreational for that matter.

For so long you felt alone―and now you weren’t. Not with the undivided attention of Hitoshi.

When you deemed it permissible to wrap up your findings for the day, the two of you would pick back up wherever you left the conversation last. It would be understandable if you ran out of topics for discussion, but that never happened.

Days turned into weeks, and you were still as attentive to his words as ever, just as he was equally engaged with you. Sometimes the words you exchanged weren’t even meaningful―mindless in every sense, talking just to hear each other's voice. In such a short amount of time you developed a bond that you’d never once experienced before―and it wasn’t even with a human.

It was almost funny the way things worked out. Never would you have expected to become so close to someone this quickly, let alone a man who wasn’t even the same species as you. But that’s what made it all the more special. You came on this trip offered by your university under the encouragement of it being a ‘once in a lifetime opportunity’―and that’s exactly what it came to be.

You’d never have this same sense of euphoria again. No matter where you might go, Hitoshi’s presence was irreplaceable.

That’s what made the slowly ensuing date of departure so painful to come to terms with.

If the prospect of leaving him behind wasn’t enough to weigh you down, then the copious amounts of work left to be completed certainly would. It felt as if none of your efforts were good enough. You’d finish one thing just for another problem to arise―it was maddening.

You felt like pulling your hair from the roots with how much stress you were under. The whole process was frantic―you scrambling to jot down notes, trying to politely discuss with your peers or professors about certain topics while battling with the dreaded feeling that you were bothering them with every word that came out of your mouth. You were losing sleep, trying to formulate your plans for the next day or hash out what you’d add to your paper.

Hitoshi noticed your severely distressed state―it was obvious after all.

You were talking less. Short answers, sometimes only a word or a simple nod here and there. For so long he’d just sit there and watch you slave away at your research. The talks you two had were becoming shorter―you favouring to spend the time doing what was essentially cramming for your final at this point.

He wasn’t having it.

You were borderlining on a headache with the amount of strain you were putting on your brain to stay focused. It was a focus so intense that the sound of Hitoshi’s voice breaking through the silence almost scared you half to death.

“You’ve been pretty quiet lately. What’s going on?”

Your hand flinched at the deep baritone of his voice, sending your pencil flying into the nearest ocean pool with a splash. For a moment your mind reminisced on the evening when his unwarned appearance caused you to do something similar. Only this time you knew he was there―you were just too engrossed in your task to remember.

Reaching for the now wet pencil, you replied without sparing him a glance. “I’m just really busy right now ‘Toshi. I’m supposed to be leaving soon and I haven’t even―” You caught your tone changing into one of irritation. He didn’t have that effect on you by no means. It was the work that spurred the emotions, and you didn’t want him thinking he was the cause of your growing anxieties.

In an attempt to ease the tensions plaguing your body, you let out a deep sigh. “My work isn’t done yet―not even close. I’m just running out of time here.”

You shook your head at the dreadful reality, drying off your pencil with the loose fabric of your cover up.

Hitoshi shifted in the water slightly, a crease forming between his brows at your worries. “What’ll happen if you don’t finish? Surely you’ve got enough done so far―I mean you don’t stop even when we talk.” He was watching your every move just like he always did, you paying no mind to his intent stare.

Sitting back down on the dry rock with your notebook in hand, you responded. “Well, I’ll upset my parents for one. I just can’t seem to get everything done. I’m behind schedule and at this rate I’ll never finish my research.” You paused your rant, opting to rest your hands on the papers in your lap in what felt like semi-defeat. “God...I just―I can’t let them down with this.”

He’d watched you long enough―listened to you enough―to know how important doing well in your studies were. The past week had been just as much hell for him as it had for you. Sure he wasn’t working himself to the bone with this assignment like you were, but he was getting second hand stress from it.

Seeing you so worn out, but still refusing to let up pained him to no end. Just as you had developed an irreplaceable attachment to him, he’d grown to be so excruciatingly devoted to making sure he was there when you returned to him every night. At the beginning he didn’t care all that much about the prospect of eventually having to part ways with you, but things had changed since then. He had changed, but you stayed the same. Too overworked and performing for the pride of others.

His voice cut through your concentration like a sharpened knife. “You don’t need them.”

You lifted your head to look at him for the first time in hours. The look he gave you was as serious as ever―if not more so than usual. Your mind practically drew blank at his abrupt suggestion. “Um―I’m not quite sure I follow…”

He squared his toned shoulders, looking at you with intent. “Clearly they’re not doing any good for you. Stay here with me―you won’t have to worry about them taking advantage of you anymore.”

In a feeling of awkwardness and disbelief at his words, you laughed a bit in admission. “I can’t just drop out of school ‘Toshi. And even if I could I’d still have to go home first and then I certainly wouldn’t be coming back. It’s a funny idea―really, but the school would never just let me stay behind.”

You went back to trying to focus on your brainstorming, having perceived that the topic was concluded.

“It’s really not that complicated. You enjoy your time here―with me.”

Keeping your gaze focused on the lined paper as you weren’t fully prepared to deal with his piercing stare, you made your rebuttal. “It is complicated. Listen, doing that wouldn’t make any sense―you’re not making any sense.”

He didn’t miss a beat, “It makes complete sense to me. You’re miserable, but here you wouldn’t be.”

“I can’t just give up my life ‘Toshi!”

You didn’t mean to yell at him―really. The stress of the situation, of your deadline, was so much to compute in your brain when it was already running a thousand miles a minute. He just wasn’t helping, not like he usually did. But that didn’t mean you had the right to get mad with him.

The two of you sat there in silence, you hanging your head in regret and shame for likely hurting the man.

Hitoshi was the first to speak up, his voice now calm and gentle in comparison to yours. “Even if you hate it?”

Those few words were enough to send your heart sinking into your chest. He was right―you did hate it. But there was no other alternative. All you could do was try and sway him from the subject.

“Hopefully, I’ll eventually grow to love it.” You gave pause for a moment, “And...even if I don’t, it’s all I have.”

“You’d really prefer that life over the one you’d have here? Where you’d be happy?”

It wasn’t worth discussing―you knew the answer even if you didn’t like admitting it. He needed to know it too, and settle with it. “It’s not realistic, ‘Toshi. Just drop it, okay?”

Much to your thankfulness the merman did as you said. Without another word you went back to your studies, having to reel your mind back in whenever it chose to drift to the disillusioned words of your newfound companion. It was distracting in every sense―making for the already difficult task to be that much harder.

You could tell it bothered him too. The indigo haired man was always fairly moody, especially when he had to wait for you to finish your work. Now however he was downright sulking in the water as his focus absentmindedly drifted to rest upon the rippling waves of the ocean. A few times you stole a glance in his direction, seeing he was uncharacteristically disinterested in your actions. It only made you feel worse―seeing him stew in his own conflict at the hands of your misfortune.

Even when you managed to spare some time for the regular discourse when you finally chose to wrap up your equipment, he was still acting distracted. Not rude or anything―just like his mind was in another place.

You could only hope he could move past his troubled thoughts, just as you wished for yourself.

_____

Before you knew it another week had gone by―meaning you only had a few days remaining. The time that went by then was the worst of your trip by far. A haze of self-doubt clouded your mindset for its entirety. Amongst the seemingly unending requirements, you were downright exhausted. Physically, mentally―you name it.

You could only spare a rough ten or so minutes at the end of your day for Hitoshi. Neither of you liked it. What you wouldn’t give to just go back to the way things were when you first met him, aside from the near death experience. A time where you weren’t nearly as concerned with completing everything right to the last painstaking detail. It was only a few weeks ago, yet it felt like a lifetime in the past.

He’d even been helping you with the research―despite you desperately insisting that he shouldn’t as technically it could be seen as cheating. Of course, he was very stubborn, meaning you didn’t exactly have the chance to fight him.

It was mostly a matter of him retrieving samples from the ocean for you. Not often did you require them, but when the moment arose he was more than happy to assist you. Finally, you were down to what you hoped was the final time you were required to obtain some ocean relique.

It was bittersweet in a way. You were fairly confident by now that with this you could take your research home to finish, given that you had more than enough groundwork that’d been developed in your time on the island. But it meant that you’d no longer have a reason to come back to the ocean pools, and subsequently back to Hitoshi.

However for now you didn’t have to think about that―you still had even a little work left to do, which was enough to take your mind off of the eventual departure from the island.

Normally you would let the merman take the reins when it came to anything dealing with venturing into the ocean water, but today it would seem he was a little more lenient in the matter.

You were just about to hand off the sample jar when he spoke up.

“Why don’t you come with me this time? It’ll be your last chance to go in the ocean before you leave―It’d be fitting, right?”

Your hand was still extended with the jar in your palm, which you retracted at his unexpected claim. It would likely be the last time you could spare the indulgence. Not only that, but it’d be fair given how much you’d let him do for you―it was only right that you at least worked for the material that would no doubt be essential to finishing your final with good marks.

With your lips upturning into an understanding smile, you stood back up from your crouched position in front of him. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt. I’m just surprised you’re finally letting me do this―given how you’ve been against the idea for so long.” The playfulness in your tone didn’t go unnoticed as you spoke, Hitoshi’s face lighting up a bit in seeing your good mood. Lately it’s been everything but that, the reality of your situation being mutually paining.

Making your way across the lightly dampened rocks, you fished through your backpack for another belt bag. You were forced to purchase one at the island's diving gear shop, burning through a substantial amount of your funds for the trip.

The merman observed your actions with an inquisitive look, speaking up as you were still rifling through the contents. “I can carry your equipment for you. Just bring the jar.”

You looked over at his awaiting form. It wasn’t much, but since the disagreement the two of you had just barely a week prior, his behaviour never quite went back to normal.

Although, his form of normal was everything but the sort―understandably so. Your lives were so contrastingly different, it only made sense that he was a little more...odd. It never stood out that much, but still―always just enough where it was noticeable. And since he stated the obvious about your detestment for your life back home, things didn’t simply return to how it’d once been.

Whether he knew you picked up on it was beyond you―in fact, you weren’t even sure if he knew he was acting differently himself. Either way, things were just off between the two of you. Even though the feeling was subtle, it persistently kept you just a little uneasy.

He’d always had an air of mystery to his aura―you assumed it just came with his predicament. Only now it served to put you on edge. Never so much where you’d not want to talk to him though. Nothing could stop you from wanting that.

If anything, you were concerned for him. You didn’t like the thought that he might be dreading you having to leave just as much as you were.

As you pulled your hands from your bag and regarded him waiting in the water, a small part of you picked up on a certain edge to his demeanour. You couldn’t quite place where it came from, or what it meant, but it was there nonetheless.

It was easy to disregard though, and you stripped down to your swimsuit to join him at the edge of the water. With a gentle hand he helped you into the ocean, waiting for you to get adjusted to the cold temperature slightly before leading you away from the shoreline. You kept the sample jar in your right, your other still in his hand as you worked on balancing yourself in the shallow water.

A shiver ran up and down your spine, causing you to instinctively curl into yourself, pausing your advance for a moment.

You heard Hitoshi give a small chuckle at your unaccustomed behaviour, somehow still retaining a certain sternness. “Don’t get cold feet now. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

In an attempt to force yourself to loosen up, you breathed out a deep sigh. “Yeah, I’m good. Let’s keep going.”

When you reached a depth where you could no longer keep your feet on the ocean floor, the merman took the sample jar from your hand, releasing you from his own hold. With the intrusion on your awkward swimming methods gone, you carefully began to tread the frigid water.

The sensation brought you back to the evening which put this whole reality in motion. You noted how the ocean water even felt a little chillier, perhaps it was just you being sensitive. After all, last time you were in this position your senses weren’t nearly as perceptive as they should be. If they were you might’ve had half a mind to take the change in the ocean’s patterns more seriously.

Recalling the ordeal still made your blood run cold. You were so sure that the waves in the distance would take longer to reach you. And the ferocity of them―that was something you didn’t see coming.

Now wasn’t a time to hold that same carelessness, taking a moment to look off into the distance, then judging the weather just in case a freak storm came out of nowhere again.

The reef you were searching for was farther from the shoreline than you anticipated. You didn’t like the thought of it, but the merman’s presence made things a little easier. Soon enough you judged that your current position would be an ideal place to start searching.

The water surrounding you was immaculately clear, and even in the dimming light of the sunset, you could still make out the reef beneath you. You knew that it would actually be much deeper than how it looked, but you were fairly confident it still wasn’t that bad.

You regarded Hitoshi as you came to a halt, “Okay...I think right here is a good spot.” For another moment your eyes trained on the ocean below you.

Even in the safety of his presence, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of worry go through you. It was only instinctual―people don’t just get over a near death experience in a few weeks. It’s what you told yourself in hopes of rationalizing the sensation away. “Can you hand me the sample jar?”

The merman stilled next to you, and your gaze drifted to his immaculately sharp features. Namely, the way his jaw seemed to tighten at your words.

The once nonchalant attitude from his brief previous teasing was gone. A familiar seriousness had replaced it completely. He didn’t make a move to give you the jar, choosing to speak first instead.

“Before we go under, I just wanted to clear something up…”

You continued to tread in one place, a little irritated at the hold up. You’d hear him out though―you owed him that much after all he’d done for you up to this point. “Is something wrong, ‘Toshi?”

He looked a little uncomfortable, averting from your worried gaze for a moment. “I just wanted to know...were you serious―with not wanting to stay with me?”

Out of all the times he could’ve chosen to bring this up, he thought now would be the best?

You gave a small smile out of consolation, also in an attempt to ease some of the observable tensions running through his body. You knew he hadn’t moved past it, and it didn’t make you feel any better about having to leave him. “I can’t just abandon everything I know. I would love to stay―to spend more time with you. It’s just not possible.” You tried letting him down gently. The last time you rejected him didn’t go well for either of you, and you didn’t want to end your relationship on such bad terms.

The merman shook his head slightly as he spoke, “I don’t understand, you’d be happier with me. Would you just―please, (y/n). I need you to rethink this.” The strain in his voice made your heart sink. You’d never seen someone so severely distressed for you in your life.

For a moment it made you think that maybe it was coming from something more selfish. He said it himself that he never really got to interact with other humans. It’s not an idea you ever thought about before, especially because he simply didn’t seem like that kind of person, but maybe his attachment wasn’t coming from the same place as yours. You liked him because he treated you with compassion and understanding. Frankly, you still didn’t know why he stuck around.

When it came down to it, the reasonings didn’t matter. There was no stopping your school from forcing you back onto a plane home. With a soft look in your eyes, you replied. “You know I wish I could stay with you. I just can’t―there’s no way the university would let me stay anyways, ‘Toshi.”

There was a long bout of silence that fell between the two of you. It was clear just how conflicted he was, and on a certain level, so were you. The only difference was that you’d come to terms with it long ago. Now he needed to do the same.

Just slightly, he straightened up in the water. He had a solemn but resigned look to his face. “Then...I believe you. But, I’m sorry for this.”

Your face contorted a bit in confusion at his vague words. Was he apologizing for giving you a hard time?

“What’s there to be sorry about―”

In a split second, a wave of a vastly unfamiliar sensation washed over you. It felt stifling―muffling your senses. Almost like being underwater.

You visioned fared even more poorly. Against your will your eyes focused past the merman in front of you, settling on the distantly dimming horizon. The synapses in your body felt as if they were malfunctioning to the extreme. You couldn’t move, much less voice your now immediately distressed concerns.

What you could do however was just barely register the sensation of hands coming to grip your hips. It wasn’t a bad feeling, your mind able to make the connection that you stopped moving―meaning whatever was happening was keeping you from sinking.

Dread still clamped down on your heart, panicked and unsure of what would happen next. There was movement―eyes not entirely out of commission. Something indigo, shimmery and blurred beyond recognition.

And then there was pain.

Burning hot and sharp as a knife, breaking through the soft and delicate skin of your neck. Involuntary tears pricked in your eyes, threatening to spill―doing so a mere second later. The ocean water wasn’t the culprit for the wetness on your face anymore. A mix of fear and physical agony were at fault.

The scorching sensation didn’t dissipate―it merely faded into the background. Alongside of it a dark and looming haze took up residence. There was a disconnect in your mind―or rather there were many. No one thought could coherently form anymore, just a muddled cluster of why’s and what’s.

Time was too much of a complicated concept to be able to grasp. Seconds could have gone by―minutes even. The only thing you understood was how tired you felt.

The pain should be keeping you conscious, but even that wasn’t enough to fight off the building weight forming in your mind. Like waves pulling you under, you grew more and more drowsy.

And just like when you were drowning, there was nothing stopping the ways of nature from keeping you under. Only now what subdued you was everything but natural.

It was just as powerful though, and it had sunk its teeth into your consciousness, drawing out every last bit of energy from your body.

_____

Your memory hadn’t failed you, bringing with it all your past obtained knowledge of the island. But where you were was no longer the island.

It was a cave. Damp and dark, illuminated by a flickering oil lamp nestled in a corner.

Hitoshi’s home.

There were differences though. Namely, the cushions smelling of the salty ocean water embedded in its fabric underneath you. Not uncomfortable by no means, but it wasn’t there last time you were in the cavern.

The merman wasn’t there when you woke up last time either―but he was now.

Your head felt like it was spinning as you weakly sat up from your laid out position. Like when you first came to, a hospitable blanket was thrown over your body. You were completely dried―not even your swimsuit retaining any moisture.

Dread filled eyes landed on Hitsoshi’s form, steadily keeping afloat in the middle of the cave’s pool. The pool that led to the only exit from his home.

Your voice was hoarse and raised in concern when you spoke, dry as you hadn’t used it for who knows how long. “...What’s going on, ‘Toshi? W-what happened?”

The merman didn’t even flinch at your words, like he didn’t hear you at all. He simply kept a cold expression plastered across his face. The only significant movement was the way his eyes trailed down your body.

“Before we met, I saw you doing your research at the pools.” His deep voice echoed off the walls of the cave, as always sending a brief shock to your system from its powerfulness. Always unexpected, and always startling.

He continued after a short pause, “Even from a distance, I could tell―you looked so...empty. Tired, and I couldn’t figure out why.”

Suddenly you were alarmingly aware of your situation with his words. If he was there, you never noticed him. But that was only to be expected―with how trained your focus always was on your work, there was never any room to take a detailed surveillance of your surroundings. Or to pick up on watchful eyes from the distant waters.

Any words you could form at the moment got caught in your throat. The influence of whatever once laced your body was gone―it was fear that kept you silent as he continued.

“After I saved you that evening, you changed. It wasn’t much at first but I could tell. And after what you told me―about all the things other humans had done to you―I knew that you needed me. I’ll treat you better than them.”

Finally your widened eyed gaze met his as he managed to regard your dread filled stare.

You forced out the only defence that came to mind―if it could even be called that. “You...you think this is treating me better? Hitoshi...what happened? I don’t―I can’t remember anything since getting into the water with you.”

By now you were shaking, both from the colder temperature of the cave and your severely strung out nerves. Despite the former you threw the blanket off your body, growing increasingly disturbed with the reality of your predicament.

He winced slightly at the movement. “It’s not ideal, I know. But you weren’t listening to me.” You only felt more uneasy with his every word, an unpleasant rush of emotions enveloping your body. “You would’ve left me if I didn’t do anything.”

From the first and only time you ever raised your voice at the merman, or even regarded him with anything less than the gentle compassion he gave you, you swore never to behave in such a way again. That notion was beyond you now.

He was blaming you for what happened.

“W-what...so this is my fault?!” Without you even realizing it the disquiet that was practically suffocating had tears slipping down your cheeks.

Hitoshi moved forward towards you, at the edge of the cave structure where the ocean water met the dry rocks, a look of worry contorting his face. You scrambled back from your position, fear having set in your very being for the inhuman creature before you.

His eyes followed your frantic retreat, but he couldn’t draw any closer, being stopped at the raised rocky expanse of the cave floor. He too was growing upset, just not for the same reasons. “It could never be your fault. What those humans did to you was beyond your control. But I wasn’t just going to let you go back to them. They’ll never stop and you know that.”

“I’m not any better off here!” Your voice bounced off the stone walls, the aggression of it even catching you off guard.

You hear a deep sigh escape his chest, looking contemplative before answering. “It can be better if you let it. If it’s the location you don’t like I can search for a new home―find something bigger. And you won’t always be in here, just until I know I can trust you.”

At this point you were openly sobbing, too overwhelmed on every sensory level. Your brain was having trouble computing the step by step thought process that led him to this decision, only making your distress more unbearable. “It’s not about that! I can’t just―y-you can’t make these kinds of decisions for me.”

You looked at him with pleading eyes, him seeming pained at your disheveled and shaking form.

He gave you a solemn look, “I’m sorry for upsetting you, but I promise you’ll be happier here.”

You couldn’t give him an answer to that―not after the countless times you told him the exact same thing. You might be happy, but what’s to say about those you’re leaving in your wake? At a loss for words, you let hot tears flow and your thoughts bombard you in every way possible. The cave might be quiet, but the pounding of your heartbeat reverberating in your ears was a practically blaring noise that only you could hear.

Hitoshi looked defeated in a way, his once firm composure falling into slumped shoulders, head turning to glance at the exit behind him. He pushed off the rocks, speaking through the motion. “I’ll give you some time to collect your thoughts―try and see things my way.” The merman was nearing the back of the pool, “You need food, I’ll have to go hunting but I’ll be back soon...Don’t try to leave.”

His words were slow spoken, as if he wanted to make sure you could comprehend them amongst the racing pace of your brain overworking itself. You could comprehend it just fine―and the prospect only scared you. “W-wait! We’re not done talking, don’t―”

The deep indigo tufts of hair, once semi-dried, dipped below the surface of the water. You rushed to the pool’s edge, catching a glimpse of the glistening tail that matched in colour as it disappeared into the depths.

“Don’t leave me here alone.”

[houndin-around]

Cozenage | Maul’s Padawan pt.2

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, master/padawan relationship(she’s of age), smut, some angst

Wc: 4,496

Author notes; so it seems the first part I did was really well liked so he’s part II! I’m glad you guys liked the first one and I hope like this one too! This is my first ever smut writing..so uh please be gentle 🥺 I was really considering not doing this but here it is!!

“I just don’t understand why we haven’t found her yet!” the voice echoed throughout the council meeting, frustration visible.

“We’ve used all the resources we have at the moment, to find (y/n) Feles. Remember Coruscant is a very large city. The security forces can only do so much. We know two gangsters approached her, perhaps other members of the group took her. The two won’t give up any more information.” Mace Windu informed, his tone lacking any sort of sympathy.

“They must be hiding something. What if the separatists got a hold of her?”

The Jedi council took a deep breath, connecting with the force to figure out where in the galaxy you could be. As the days drag on, your old master is filled with vexation. There was more going on though then he let on, something far more suspicious than the others could read. He needed you, he needed your power even though it hasn’t reached it’s full potential yet. However, he knew you’d soon have the proper training that would be satisfactory enough.

“Clouded by the dark side, her future is. Something hiding her, no something protecting her. A dangerous force, I feel.” worry presented itself in Master Yoda’s voice. His body soon becoming rigid at the thought of you possibly choosing the path on your own accord.

After the confirmation that darkness has surrounded you, the meeting was adjourned but some masters remained behind. Some understood the complex relationship you had with your master, and his feelings toward you so to them they couldn’t calculate as to why Feles was acting the way he was.

“It just doesn’t add up. Even Ahsoka has shared some privileged information regarding the treatment (y/n) has received. I think Master Feles has some secrets of his own. An apprentice could be in severe danger, we have to do something! We can’t just sit around and wait for more information to be given up!”

Heads turned to the brash Jedi knight who was now on his feet filled with emotions. Of course, Obi-wan Kenobi was used to these types of behaviors from his previous padawan so the effect was little to none at this point. Quite frankly, Obi-wan agreed with Anakin for something did feel out of place.

“And what do you expect to be done, young Skywalker? Compel Feles to give up information he doesn’t even have? How do you expect that to look on the council’s part?” Windu’s glare could cut right through any other Jedi, yet for Skywalker it did absolutely nothing.

“As shocking as it may be, I agree with Anakin. It’s out of character for Feles to even show such emotion for another being, let alone an apprentice he’s never gotten along with. It couldn’t hurt to investigate a little more without him knowing?” Obi-wan’s voice was soft, though his point was persuasive as he gained some nods from his fellow Jedi.

--------------

“Fix your posture. Tighten up your right arm too. You’re all over the place today. Is something bothering you?” Maul inquired, soft eyes roaming your body.

“I’m sorry...I just can’t get it right. I’m failing you..” your voice was barely audible, shame running hot in your cheeks.

Shaking his head, the zabrak mosied over to you with narrowed eyes. “That is far from the truth and you know it (y/n)” his tone earnest, though deeper than normal. “The only way to vanquish the seventh form is by silencing your mind. Your apprehension, inner turmoil, is what’s stopping you. Feel the force flow through your body, let it guide you.” his tone was gentle, coaxing you to continue trying.

Standing adjacent to you, Maul activated his double-bladed saber and began moving through the positions of form seven. The fluidity was breathtaking, his saber cutting the air erratically yet he managed to remain in full control. As he demonstrated the form for you, his breathing became heavy and sweat glazed over his forehead. He managed to show no indication of fatigue, finishing off with one last throw in the air and a force push. Watching him sent a fiery sensation throughout your body and resting in your core, causing you to bite your lower lip. The sweat began dripping down his neck only intensifying the ache within. He was your master and nothing more, however, your body reacted otherwise anytime you looked at him the desire growing each moment.

“You make it look easy” you pouted, clipping your lightsaber to your belt followed by crossing your arms across your chest.

“Because I trust in the force and have a tranquil mind my apprentice.” his brow cocked as he noticed the heat settling in your cheeks. “Let me help you.”

Sheathing his saber, Maul shifted closer to you placing his hilt in your hands. Feeling the uncertainty bubbling within you, he placed his hands over yours guiding you through the movements breath hot on your neck. There were quite a few times your Master had touched you but this was unconventional, it had a different meaning behind it, so much so butterflies whirled in the pit of your stomach encouraging you to act on impulse. Pretending to adjust your stance, you play off accidentally backing into the crimson zabrak a little more, earning a faint groan. Making contact with him, his hands instantly grasp your hips, causing your core to burn in arousal. The tension was building between you both, so full of desire, except none of you made the next move. Without hesitation, Maul spun you around to face him, the space between you growing smaller. His amber eyes searched yours, slowly moving in closer pressing his forehead against yours and closing his eyes. It was as if he was holding back, resisting the urge of something you couldn’t read.

Opening his eyes and licking his lips Maul began to speak, “I...I think it’s time we finish up here. This form takes a lot of energy out of you and it is imperative you rest.” just as he finishes you catch him glancing over your body once more.

You gave a small nod before he broke the connection and taking his lightsaber back. A defeated sigh escaped your lips, you were so close to discovering if your assumptions were true and yet you were afraid to make the final move. Frustration boiled inside as you followed Maul to the shared room you have. He was possessive and protective resulting in you both sharing a room and bed as a precaution. The idea of someone taking you in the middle of the night haunted him and so his solution was being with him the majority of the time. Despite sharing a bed, boundaries were set in place by pillows placed down the middle of the bed to avoid any accidental contact. Entering the room, you went straight toward your drawers grabbing a clean pair of robes to take with you into the refresher. You wanted some time alone, time to process what just happened, and to figure out what it was you were truly feeling. Not even saying a word to Maul, you padded to the ‘fresher, placing your dark-colored robes on the marble sink, you undressed and turned on the sanisteam adjusting it to the temperature you enjoyed.

Stepping inside, you crossed your arms, hands on your shoulders taking in the warmth of the water washing away the weight of the day. After today’s events, you just wanted to stay within the transparisteel walls that protected you from the embarrassment of your actions. How could you be so rash? What if Maul didn’t even feel the same way you did and was simply holding back anger from you? Maybe you’re just confusing your emotions and don’t even want him like that? The doubts your Master had told you to rid of, came back with a vengeance with more to ponder on. Going to sleep tonight especially in the same bed as Maul seemed impossible.

--

The crackling of the fire filled your ears along with the smell of burning wood. Your mind buzzing with thoughts still confused about your feelings and actions. It wasn’t just the actions of today, your thoughts grew more intense focusing on the new path laid ahead. How did you end up here in such a position? What made you choose him and why Mandalore? During your first encounter, Maul had forgotten to mention that he was the new ruler of Mandalore. Despite having asked, it was something he did not want to discuss at least not yet. He also kept you hidden from the public eye of Mandalore citizens, those that were very close to Maul, like Death Watch, were able to meet you but that was it.

He didn’t lie though when he promised to train you. Much like earlier, he was so keen on helping you improve your technique and answer any question you had even if it didn’t pertain to the current lesson. You learned more from him than your previous master but even if the zabrack wasn’t like Feles, you still feared the inevitable errors. No matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, Maul intimidated you. You’ve witnessed his temper when it came to Death Watch. Metal lightly clinking against the marble flooring of the Sundari Royal Palace caused you to jump out of your skin.

“Do you fail to recall the ability I have when it comes to hearing your thoughts?” his voice was thick with sleep, brows furrowed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you, Master. I just couldn’t sleep.” More like you didn’t want too. Rubbing the back of your neck, you noticed Maul inching closer to you out of your peripheral.

“You know, I’m more aware than you think. I know you have been coming out here the past few nights. I disregarded it with the expectations of it passing, but now. Now it seems it’s becoming a pattern. The only exception being, something seems to be troubling you a lot more than the previous nights.” eyes narrowing, his gaze fixated on you as he kept inching closer until there was about two inches worth of space between the both of you once more.

It baffled you how over the short period, things started to get a little different compared to when you first met. There was a type of tension between you both, though you couldn’t exactly put your finger on what it was. Today you tested those waters but instead of helping you, it only confused you more. The way he touched you though was unexpected, however, in certain circumstances, he would wrap his arm around your waist to pull you in closer to him if members from Death Watch were present.

“Hmm and yet again, the white noise is back. Care to enlighten me?” a sly grin presented itself on his face exposing his incisors.

“I don’t know. I’m confused about some things and there’s just a lot on my mind. I’m terrified Feles will find me and what would happen if he did...” sucking in a breath, lip quivering “I don’t want to live in constant fear of..”

Maul’s gaze soon became soft as he realized how much damage has been done to his apprentice. The apprentice he cares so deeply for that words alone could never express it all. His eyes searched yours, knowing you seek solace from him but he was unable to formulate a sentence.

“Just the thought about what happens if the Jedi find me? And when they see..”

“When they see you with me.” Maul interjected, his mouth forming into a frown.

“That’s not what I meant,” you mumbled, “I meant, will they take me? And what about you? What would they do to you? Surely they wouldn’t just slap you on the wrist…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something were to happen to...” trailing off, the mere thought of Feles coming for you made you nauseous. Not because of what he’d do to you no, but what he was capable of doing to Maul. The only being in this galaxy that cared for you so much, could be in danger due to the choice you made.

“(y/n) I made an oath to train you, but that also included protecting you as you’re my apprentice. My dear fret not, for we’d be made well aware of the Jedi’s presence in advance. Besides, you think he’d be able to take me on?” Pressing his forehead against yours, you can tell there was an abundance of words being withheld from you, but how could you get it out of him?

“Now little one, it’s time you get some rest.” his voice honeyed, flashing memories from when you first met. This zabrack was so forbearing with you, no matter how pissed off he’d get he’d turn to you and it would diminish instantly something you still needed to adjust to. Without any hesitation, Maul scooped you up in his arms carrying you toward the bedroom. The thought of going to sleep sounded delightful until you remembered the wall of pillows that separated your bodies. On occasions where you’ve woken from night-terrors, the boundaries were forgotten, the safety of his arms bringing you back to reality. Tonight seemed like one of those nights at least you hoped.

Placing you delicately on the soft mattress, he folded the sheets over you before shuffling over to his side of the bed. Swiftly he removed the top portion of his robes exposing his bare skin, the red skin, and black tattoos perfectly intertwined with one another creating breathtaking patterns. It was moments like these, especially during lessons, that increased your heart rate, the desire eating away at you making your body do, and feel things it’s not used to. Maker was he handsome. Slipping into bed, he started to arrange the extra pillows in the usual barrier causing you to look at him with pleading eyes. A small grin enveloped his features as he threw the extra pillows aside, waiting for you to move the rest of the way.

“You could have just asked.” maul smirked while wrapping his arms around you, chin resting on the crown of your head, your face buried in his neck.

“I’m..s-” his arm briskly unraveled, bringing the pad of his index finger to your lips.

“No. No more of that.” he hushed, his hand slowly dipping underneath your chin to lift it encouraging your eyes to meet.

Being so close to you, holding you, was enough to rile up the zabrak his mind being engulfed by lust. His breathing becoming ragged the thought of withholding himself anymore was too painful. He needs to let go and show you just how badly he wants you, and for you to be his. After your little stunt from training, the sinful thoughts wouldn’t leave his mind. His eyes met yours, luring you into his trap. This time it was inevitable, there was no escape but you didn’t run, you wanted to this, to be his.

Leaning in, your lips collide together, the kiss rough but full of passion, leaving you both ravenous for more. His hands slowly begin to wander your body, molding to your form, savoring how your skin feels. Pulling apart, Maul lowers his mouth on the soft flesh of your neck, open-mouthed kisses that leave you feeling light-headed. Soft whimpers filled the zabrak's ears, as you crave his mouth all over your body. Slowly he begins climbing on top of you, his kisses slowly turning into nips. A small gasp escapes your mouth as his hands find their placement on your hips, his grip growing more intense by the second just like earlier.

“Is this okay..?” he brought his lips back to yours for a chaste kiss.

Inhaling sharply, you nod, cheeks beginning to flush from the eye contact.

“Good. Did you think I’d let you get away with that tease during training?” the low guttural growl from him was enough to send you over the edge.

Your skin was prickling, pressure building up between your folds. You wanted him badly, you ached for him, he even knew that except he was going to tease you until you couldn’t handle it anymore. His hands traveled to the hem of your robes, glancing at you for permission. Once you give him the go, Maul wasted no time getting the fabric off your body casting it aside. Your heart now pounding you were exposed in front of him, the chilled air making your nipples harden. The zabrak’s pupils were dilated, his amber eyes glowing with passion. A low growl emerged from him as he brushes his lips against yours. His touch was intoxicating, leaving you dizzy and breathless.

“I can no longer hold back. Now that I know what you want,” he whispered. “Let me take care of you..” he pleaded, breath hot against your neck.

Hands splayed across your chest, he grabs your breasts, nipples between his index finger and thumb tugging lightly. You let out another soft whimper, only to be muffled by his lips begging for another taste. The tip of his tongue traced the outline of your bottom lip waiting to gain entrance. Opening your mouth, tongues were rolling together in the passionate fiery kiss while his hand began to slide down toward your heated core very slowly. Mouth trailing down once more, his teeth connected with your neck nipping hungrily. The need to wanting to mark you as his, now in full control. Reaching your breasts Maul couldn’t help but nip and suck the flesh leaving several glowing marks that added to the collection he created.

“Gods have I craved you..” he groaned.

“If only you knew what went through my mind….” your voice quivering as his tongue swirled around your nipple, sending a wave of ecstasy through your body.

A smirk enveloped his features hearing the words leave your mouth, only for it to be replaced with an arched brow as his hand reaches your folds.

"Seems like someone is a bit eager?" Maul teased, his middle finger gliding up and down your slit, barely touching your entrance.

Pleasure consumed your body causing you to buck your hips into the digit. A sly grin plastered itself on his face as he pulls away, his torturous teasing making you beg.

"Please..maul.." you cried out, grabbing his wrist and placing his hand over your pussy.

"Tsk tsk," he growled, leaving his hand on your heated core but eyes burning into you. "You're still being punished."

His teasing was driving you insane, you couldn't control yourself anymore. The warning that left his lips was so seductive, giving you the confidence to wrap your arms around the zabrak's neck.

"Two can play this game.." you muttered in his ear. Placing feathery kisses along his throat, earning several moans from Maul.

His thumb began circling your swollen bud in retaliation along with his middle finger brushing against your entrance. Seeing the relief wash over your face, he grinned as he began to insert his digit inside you. Just feeling of how wet you were because of him was enough to make him lose all inhibition. Breaking free from your grip around him, he slid down your body spreading your thighs farther apart. The need to taste you was overwhelming. Placing delicate kisses on the inside of your thighs followed by several on the lips of your pussy, Maul then delved his tongue deep inside. The sensation was one you've never even thought to experience, toes curling and moans ringing throughout the room. The sheets bundled up in your hands weren't enough, you needed something rigid. Your hands made their way to his horns latching on as he kept lapping away at your pussy.

"Maker are you delicious (y/n).." he murmured, still deep between your folds.

The ability to speak was taken away from you, the only things you were able to let out were moans and whimpers from the satisfaction. Maul gave you one last tongue swirl around your clit before breaking away to pull off his bottom robes. His body was stunning, intricate patterns woven all over even around his cock. Speechless, you reach out and slide your hand down his chest, abdomen, until your hand wraps around his hard, ribbed cock. Precum glazed his tip, however, your attention was soon taken to his size. He was larger than you expected, hesitation filling you at the thought of him tearing into you. Sensing your apprehension, he places a warm hand on your cheek.

"I'll take it slow at first okay just relax..?" he cooed, leaning in for a kiss.

Seconds later, Maul was guiding himself in, your walls stretching around his cock. Judging by the minor grimace on your face, he pauses so you could adjust to his length while whispering praises in your ear.

Trying to push past the minor discomfort, you locked eyes with Maul, "Go ahead. Fuck me. I need it...I need you inside me" you whined.

"As you wish darling...but don't forget. You asked for it." he grinned, planting a kiss on your lips.

Soon enough he was beginning to thrust into you rhythmically, the pain being replaced by ecstasy. Curses rolled off your tongue while he growled and grunted back, his breathing ragged and muscles rippling. Intertwining his fingers with yours, he pinned your hands against the bed, sinking deeper into your core. His warm skin against yours was even better than you had imagined it. A sheen of sweat began to cover his body, glistening in the low light.

Throwing your head back against the mattress, jaw-slacked, Maul began leaving another trail of open-mouthed kisses down your neck as well as a wandering hand toward your clit. Pleasure scorched through your entire body, the pressure building in your stomach making your walls tighten around his member.

"Gods...Maul...I'm so..cl-" you whimpered, a gasp leaving your lips as his thumb began brushing against your clit.

"No, I'm not done with you yet." he growled, pulling his thumb away and placing his hands on your hips.

"Kriff!" with his thumb retreating from your swollen bud, you needed something to replace the euphoric sensation. "Fuck me harder then.."

His hands made their way to your hips, grasp tightening as his thrusts increase. The room was filled with skin slapping against skin and the musky smell of sex. Your nails found their way into Maul's sweaty flesh on his shoulder blades causing him to release a guttural growl.

"That's my good girl." he rasped, licking his lips. "Look at you are taking this zabraki cock." his praise was so alluring, that you'd do anything to hear more.

You could tell by the way he was breathing that he was nearing the edge causing him to lose himself completely. Maul was absolutely feral, hearts pounding, lost to the pleasure that devoured his body. Despite his strokes becoming sloppy they still managed to hit your g-spot each time, bliss traveling throughout your body. Your pussy was soaking wet. Him being balls deep, cock swelling and pulsating left you breathless. You couldn't hold back anymore you needed to let go.

"Please..please Maul I can't hold back anymore...I need to cum...please..." you implored, your nails digging even deeper into his flesh.

"Go...ahead. Cum for me..." he groaned barely able to catch his breath.

He pressed his forehead against yours, eyes squeezed shut. Your orgasm struck you like lightning, vision going black and thighs trembling. Amid yours, Maul then came, the feeling of him pulsating stronger than before. Pleasure rippled through his body making him buckle on top of you breathing roughly. Coming down from your high, you wrap your arms around the zabrak giving him a moment to recover.

"Well..." he inhaled still laying on top of you. "That was...unexpected."

"yeah.." you mumbled trying to come up with more words, though your mind was blanking as exhaustion was washing over.

"At least you now know what happens when you pull something like that," he teased. He shifted slightly pulling himself out of your cum filled pussy.

"Guess that means I'll have to do it again huh?" you blurted out before realizing what you had just said.

"So the apprentice still hasn't learned her lesson hmm?" his brow arched, amusement in his tone. "Next time I won't hold back then."

"You were holding back?" you sucked in a breath, feeling the tingling sensation between your thighs. Maker was your body going to be sore in the morning.

Maul swung his legs over you and sat at the edge of the mattress before standing up. He chuckled at your question, giving a curt nod. “I may have made a mess out of you…” he grinned, looking at the marks he left behind. “Come now, let’s get you in the refresher.”

Taking your hand, he helped you up and walked you over to the refresher, hand resting on the small off your back. Once he got you situated, he walked back out to grab his robes and slipped into the bottom half.

“Sir you have an urgent holocall!" a Death Watch member frantically barging into the bedroom.

Hearing a voice erupting from the bedroom, you turned the shower on but walked over to the closed door trying to eavesdrop. Who was coming in so late at night?

"Lower your voice!" Maul hissed, meeting the Mandalorian half-way.

"I'm sorry sir...it's just extremely urgent. It's Fele-,"

Maul interjected him, "Don't finish that sentence."

The Mandalorian shut his mouth quickly fear washing over him. Taking a deep breath he started again. "He's asking if you have her..." his voice in a hushed tone.

A wave of nausea hit you. There were only several ways that sentence could have ended. You walked over to the shower not wanting to hear any more in fear of the truth. Stepping in, the warm water provided you comfort as sobs wracked your body. You slowly slid your back down the transparisteel not wanting to ever leave the shower. Was his offer just a deception? How could he pretend just like everyone else? How could he be so vulnerable with you and seal the bond he claimed existed? None of it made sense to you and that made the anxieties worse. You needed to leave, to escape.

"Tell him I don't," Maul uttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Uh..well he requests your presence.." the young Mandalorian shifted uncomfortably.

Maul had enough. His frustration peaked causing him to use the force grip. The young mando dropped his helmet as he was grabbing at his throat, struggling to breathe. His eyes wide and beginning to tear, he truly felt as if he was about to die right then and there. Releasing the grip, Maul dropped the young man to the ground before walking right over him.

"Since you're incompetent, I will deal with this." he spat, anger fueling him.