#but some of us are fighting to be able to enjoy things with whatever we have left at the end of the day

[zarathebleachfox]

Last night, to fall asleep, I concocted probably THE worst crack ship in the history of Bleach.

You won't believe it. And also this is just a Ramble. I may revise it in the future.

Mayuri x Momo

I know you hate me but this was created by my headache-plagued brain in an attempt to lull itself into sleep.

Probs because in my own trauma I am similar to Momo (having to realize the person I idolized did not have my best interests at heart) and in creating my trauma, my mother ended up similar to Mayuri (closed off, prefers to criticize rather than face his feelings and admit fault).

So my brain said "you know what would be funky? An asshole like Mayuri helping Momo heal from Aizen's betrayal in the Mayuri Way™! Surely that will go well"

So here are some headcanons. There will probably also be a snippet when I am able to write it.

Why did it happen

I headcanon Momo was Abso-fucking-lutely Not Ok And Very Upset About It when rehabbing in the 4th Division. So much so that, in order to protect her from being sent in the Maggot's Nest by Central 46 (and under severe insistence from Hitsugaya to Not Listen To Those Bastards At HQ Dammit)...

... It was established to use as justification that whatever was causing Momo to lash out, was a spell thrown by Aizen. And that due to the spell being unprecedented and having seen nothing like it before, Mayuri had insisted to have her in his Division for as long as it took him to understand how to disable the spell.

This is a lie, mind u, to buy time so that they can keep holding onto Momo instead of having Central 46 try to process her due to missing a scapegoat.

Hitsugaya was not ok with this. Mayuri wasn't either, because he felt like he didn't have the time to handle and help heal a traumatized girl. He is uncomfy around traumatized people he cannot experiment on, dammit.

Because he would have to help her. Momo of course took what the Gotei 13 said literally, she didn't realize that it was literally just a masquerade and that in truth she wasn't going to get experimented on by Mayuri; she still thinks the Gotei 13 has misunderstood Aizen and that he surely wouldn't be as much of a backstabber than he actually was, and that the Gotei was actually going to be an enemy and was harming Aizen's reputation. She is deeper in denial than scientists when they are exploring the Marianne Trench.

The plan was to make her stay at the 12th for a while, have Mayuri "run some tests on her and keep her contained" (which isn't actually true, in fact some medics from the 4th are sent to stay with Momo and they are the ones actually administering most of the medicine and psychological help... Or at least trying to)...

... And then say that "clearly now that the spell has been removed, she can go and recover at the 4th again due to the nature of the spell itself, and she will need time to do so, so Get Off Out Case Central 46 We Were Stupid But This Is Also Your Fault".

But Momo is as slippery as an eel. She fights, pushes others away, people aren't even able to help her shower. Girl is a mess. She decides, one night, in her terror-induced folly, to face Mayuri and demand he release her.

The thing is, up until then, Mayuri genuinely did act like an asshole towards her. Threatened her multiple times that he would truly experiment on her if she didn't "stop squealing and running around disturbing research efforts". And he didn't do it because he enjoyed seeing her get even more anxious when confronted with his threats. Nope, not in her case.

Mayuri is annoyed that, in his opinion, everyone is coddling the girl. It clearly isn't working. So he decides to push her to the point in which she will finally realize it is all futile.

When she visits him to confront him he has just bathed, is wearing a bathrobe and is absolutely not bothered by her own threats. He deftly defends himself against all her lunges and attacks, and is indifferent when she resorts to try and beating him up with her fists. She falls on the floor, crying, falls asleep there due to exhaustion, and when she wakes, she notices that it's morning and Mayuri hasn't moved her an inch from where she had laid down the night before. He is preparing to start his own day, and also comments that she hasn't showered in a long time. He bathes as a rule every morning and every night. So since she has clearly been pestering everyone with her avoidance, it seems like as Captain of the 12th he will have to force her himself. Otherwise he would be allowing a "walking hygiene hazard to strut across the Institute, jeopardizing the research".

He just puts her in the bathroom, locks her in, and leaves. He also leaves a Seireitei phone thingie with her to call him with when she is done bathing. He will open the door to the bathroom once she is done, and once she has signaled to him such a thing with a phone call.

Because he is still an asshole. In case it wasn't clear. He has no tact. He thinks that a no nonsense approach, especially if introduced sternly and with no room for opposition, will bring results. Truth is, it "helps" in the worst way possible.

When he goes back to his quarters for the afternoon, he finds that Momo messed up the bathroom (threw some stuff around)... But did bathe in the end. She has actually been there alone, in the water, for a very long time, even past the point where it wasn't warm anymore but freezing. She does not protest when he drags her out and wraps her in a robe as well. The next days she does not leave his quarters, bathes when he says so and eats when he says so. He asks Nemu to check on her more often in case she is plotting something, but the truth is, she is not. Momo is defeated.

Mayuri becomes quickly aware this is not a victory. A victory would be Momo going back to normal, being able to rise from a bed on her own, with her own enthusiasm, and her self esteem back. Instead she is a husk. She is not back into a condition where she can finally leave his Institute and stop making him feel weird.

He reluctantly realizes he needs to talk to her and understand her. The reason why he will be successful is because he is direct, and does not appear to cater and feel hurt on behalf of her own suffering. He realizes that that would only make her more confused.

He IS staunchly annoyed at what Aizen did, and for the fact he did not notice beforehand he was going to be far more dangerous than either Urahara or Mayuri himself had suspected. Mayuri appears as if he were more upset that Central 46 and the Gotei did not realize Aizen had been a traitor... But he is actually pissed he did not manage to see it.

He decides to show her footage he gathered from corners of the Seireitei. Footage of Aizen as well. Of what he did, where he went.

The thing is, Aizen acted like he truly understood Momo and her struggles as his lieutenant, and like he enjoyed her support of him so much that he revealed sensitive details to her about his likes and dislikes.

But Mayuri makes her notice something. Aizen actually didn't have the favourite food he said he had. He enjoyed eating a bit of everything and didn't privilege ANY food at all. Aizen also spoke to her about his family, supposedly, but there is little to no record of said family anywhere, aside from a few empty letters which do not contain the details he spoke of, and each and every time they check the cameras, Aizen isn't seen talking to family, or visiting the house he said his family lived at.

The truth is: Aizen likely knew of the cameras.

Yes, Aizen's sword affects cameras, but after realizing what Aizen had done and receiving orders from Yamamoto, Mayuri was able to modify his cameras so that they could give an approximation of what should have actually been shown instead of what the illusion concocted. The details are muddy, but general details of Aizen's actual whereabouts were acknowledged, and Mayuri also revealed to Yamamoto as a result, and much to the scientist's chagrin, Urahara had been probably framed; hence why Yamamoto was easily willing to collaborate with Vizards and Urahara in the Fake Karakura arc. So it is evident Aizen had lied.

Momo of course does not believe this.

My mind stopped concocting elaborate bullshit at this point. What I do know is that after having this discussion with Mayuri, Momo has another mental breakdown, and only afterwards is able to follow Mayuri's suggestions on how to clear her mind and realize the truth.

It's a It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better kind of situation.

Mayuri does not like Momo, but he hates how pathetic Aizen made her become, in his own words. He hates people being stubborn and not moving forward. Which is why he reluctantly helps Momo, despite her discomfort and subservience to Aizen being something he wants to fix, because it is also something that makes HIM uncomfortable. It comes close to Nemu's own subservient nature, a bit too close for comfort, but Mayuri is good at hiding his own realizations of how bad he is treating Nemu, so he focuses on aiding Momo while putting aside his realizations on Nemu to the side.

I haven't figured out much more. This is probs very unhinged but these thoughts populated my mind last night and so I thought I would share. Nothing sexual happens in the ship, it is mostly platonic and a dynamic which is about learning both self reliance, and HEALTHY reliance on others. It is also basically an AU in which Mayuri changes up his tune with Nemu earlier than he would have in Canon.

[alvallah]

I logically understand the whole thing where people are like “it’s okay to settle for a lame job because it enables you to do the things you love after hours”. But like. What if you’re chronically fatigued. What if you never have anything left for yourself after your work day or work week. What if executive dysfunction makes it hard to use your few personal hours to the fullest.

I use all my tools and my spoons to do my work during the day (which I can’t do reliably to start with). When I get home I’m fried. I still have to cook and do chores and other adult shit. If I want to do something for myself I have to force it and suffer the consequences.

I do not feel enabled okay.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Hey, I don't normally make my own posts about this, but.

Do not argue with an anti on their own terms.

Don't get me wrong, I get it. You see the hypocrisy. You see the way they take aim at your favorite ships or characters or tropes while enjoying something similar. And you think "if I can point out to them just how hypocritical and idiotic they look right now, everyone will see our argument, they'll see that the anti is wrong and a hypocrite, and then maybe more people will stop harassing the people who like my thing. Maybe the anti will see the light and stop being a hypocrite."

But it will not work. It will not work.

There is an extremely high chance one of two things will occur:

They will double down on their argument, and ignore what you've said. (Ex. They might say "This relationship has an age gap. That's p3dophi1ia. That's dangerous." And you might say "well you ship something with the same age gap. Is it not p3dophi1ia and dangerous when you do it?" And they will just double down and say "This ship is dangerous. The shippers are grasping at straws to make their p3d0 ship normal.")

They will agree with you, but in the worst way possible. (Ex. Someone says "Ew your ship are basically siblings because they're childhood friends and grew up together. 1nc3st apologist." And you might respond "And yet we allow our most popular ship in this fandom to be popular? They grew up together as childhood friends and were inseparable. Why is that not inc3st?" because you think they'll gain a sense of perspective here. But then that person responds "People who ship that popular ship are freaks too then." Maybe they believed that before the convo or maybe they didn't, but the point now is that (while not your intention or fault by any means) some people have gone on to harass shippers of a ship that aren't doing anything wrong. What you think will bring clarity ends up raising tensions between shippers instead)

Do not meet them where they're at on their preconceived notions. You will not make them believe that they are wrong or hypocrites. Do not concede to their heavy assertions of abuse, p3dophi1ia, 1nc3st, etc levied against the thing you like for the sake of arguing that they are a hypocrite, or with intent to make them feel dumb for inadvertently labeling 80% of a fandom with said labels. They will not "see the light". The best thing you can do, if you have to say anything, is double down with "I'm not hurting anyone and it's fiction. I can do whatever I want" or "I don't give a shit what harmless things people like as long as it's tagged and I can filter out what I dislike" (especially if this is your stance). Then block and move on.

Antis, like trolls, thrive on engagement. They want you to argue so they can continue to point at you or lie about you or make you look bad.

It is in your best interest to pick your battles, and to try to sus out the difference between a friendly argument or standing up for yourself versus feeding the trolls. You won't make the right choice every time, all of us are human after all, but I promise you that ignoring and blocking bad faith actors, deleting their hate anons, etc, is not the coward's way out. Sometimes you don't need to fight. Sometimes keeping yourself from platforming bad faith actors and giving them nothing to go on will do the job (because there are more antis that are just small blogs with little power to do anything than you think, the kinds of people whose inflammatory posts will die if no one touches them).

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[helaintoloki]

For Better or For Worse

pairing: Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader

warnings: MAJOR SPOILERS, angst, themes of trauma, mentions of violence, mentions of pregnancy, eventual fluff, bucky and reader working out their marriage problems

notes: so i actually first started working on this piece a month before the movie came out and wasn’t able to complete it until i actually saw the film. there will be some inaccuracies since it’s purely based off memory but i hope you guys enjoy!

summary: You want a divorce, but Bucky needs your help for one last mission. Luckily, marriage is all about compromise

The court issued papers fill Bucky with unease as the two of you sit at the dining table in silence. Neither of you has said a word since you presented the documents to him when he returned from his office, and his gaze has been glued to the petition for a painfully long amount of time. The legal jargon doesn’t catch his attention, but one word has stuck out from the rest and branded itself at the forefront of his mind.

Divorce.

These papers are meant to finalize your divorce.

“I just need your signature,” you prompt him quietly after taking a nervous swallow. You try to remain poised, but Bucky knows you well enough to detect your anxious tells- the way your leg bounces nervously under the table while your right hand absently tries to fidget with a ring that isn’t there. He sighs and allows himself to sink back further into his chair while he attempts to organize the amalgamation of thoughts swirling in his mind.

“This is what you really want?” Bucky asks gently, tone devoid of judgement or resentment and instead filled with quiet defeat.

“Are you kidding? I don’t want this at all,” you insist miserably, unable to stop yourself from reaching for his hand across the table. “I love you, Bucky. More than anything. But we haven’t been on the same page in years.”

“Of course we’re on the same page,” he stresses incredulously as if it’s ridiculous to believe otherwise. “We love each other, we’ll do whatever it takes to keep each other safe, we’re a team.”

A disappointed frown takes hold of your features as you carefully pull your hand away. Your eyes are full of sorrow and grief for your failing marriage, and Bucky doesn’t understand why his words have garnered such a reaction from you. He asked you to be his wife out of love and complete adoration for the woman who had risked everything to help him become the man he is today. Wasn’t that enough?

“When we got married, you promised me we’d retire and start our lives somewhere quiet away from all the danger. We’d do the whole white picket fence thing and grow old together, maybe start a family now that all the super hero stuff was behind us. But then Sam needed our help, and I didn’t mind suiting up again for a friend.“

“Of course you didn’t,” Bucky affirms with a faint smile, heart nearly bursting with pride at the mere thought of your selflessness. Steve had once said your compassionate heart could melt even the toughest of soldiers, and Bucky had been no exception when first meeting you.

“I thought that would be our final send off, but then came Valentina, then your congressional campaign, and now the impeachment. It never ends, Bucky,” you say emphatically, exhaustion and defeat present in your tone. Quieter now, you let your eyes fall back to the documents and swallow back your tears before continuing, “I’m starting to realize now that there never will be a house with a white picket fence.”

“Y/n, come on,” Bucky pleads earnestly, “of course there will be. Just give me some time-“

“That’s what you always say,” you point out with a smile that fails to reach your eyes. Your husband is desperate to change your mind, the panic evident in his features as he scrambles to make things right before it’s too late.

“I can change.”

“If you can honestly look me in the eyes and promise me your days of fighting are over, I’ll shred the papers myself.”

A heavy silence follows your words, and you sit expectantly as you wait for him to make a move. Bucky’s eyes wander to every corner of the room, analyze every speck of dust that lands on the table, but they’re never once able to look into your own. You know you have your answer, and Bucky knows there is no changing your mind now.

“I’ll still help you find evidence for Valentina’s impeachment,” you assure him numbly, your fingers absently fidgeting with the buttons on your shirt. “I’ll help you organize your argument and figure out the next step, but you’re on your own after that.”

“About that…” Bucky utters guiltily, looking at you like a dog caught with its tail between its legs. Your brows furrow slightly in confusion before your shoulders slump in disappointment. You know what’s coming, and you know you’re not going to like it.

“What did you do this time?”

“The evidence I’m looking for, it’s not a paper trail or the location to some facility. It’s… people,” Bucky admits with a wince, sinking further back into his chair when he notes the frustration evident in your features.

“Oh my god, Bucky!” You exclaim in exasperation. “What do you mean it’s people?!”

Bucky hates seeing you angry, especially when your anger is directed towards him, but he desperately tries to extinguish the flames before they can get worse.

“Valentina sent people to cover her tracks- contract agents.”

“And who are the agents?” you press him, annoyance clear in your tone. He winces, clearly not looking forward to admiting the truth to you.

“John Walker, Ava Star, and Yelena Belova… But y/n, I swear to you, I had no idea about her involvement when I asked for your help taking Valentina down,” Bucky insists honestly in response to the ire clear on your features, hoping you’ll understand his point of view. Of course he didn’t mean to disrespect your wishes, but it had all happened so fast he hadn’t been given an opportunity to right it.

“Natasha was my best friend, and I promised if anything happened to her I’d keep an eye on Yelena in her place,” you remind him indignantly with an irritated huff. Bucky lets his head hang in shame. “You realize you’re asking me to go back on my word by going after her, right?”

“I know… and I’m sorry. But this is important. The fate of the world could be at stake.”

“It always is,” you mutter testily. Bucky sighs.

“Look, just… before I become a divorced middle aged man, can you just go on this one last mission with me? Think of it as a final send off,” Bucky coaxes with a nervous smile. “And when all is said and done I’ll sign the papers.”

You pull your lips back into a thin line as you stare down the man sitting across from you. You’re not exactly pleased with this entire situation, but a part of you knows you’d feel horrible turning your back on him when he needed you most. Despite your impending divorce, you still loved Bucky with your entire being, and you always would have his best interests at heart no matter the case.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” you curse under your breath, more directed at yourself than at Bucky. “I know I’m going to hate myself for this, but I’ll help you.”

The relief that washes over Bucky’s face is almost rewarding, but you try not to let yourself get too caught up in the fantasy. You still aren’t an Avenger, and going on a life threatening mission isn’t going to magically fix the problems in your marriage. You’re simply doing this as a favor to the man you love, and you’re adamant about not letting yourself fall in too deep.

You only hope Bucky keeps good on his promise to you because he can’t afford to break any more.

~~~

You carefully pull the zipper of your suit closed before taking a step back to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Despite years of inactivity, it still fits you like a second skin, and you hate it. The last time you’d suited up had been to stop the Flag Smashers, and when it was over you swore to yourself you’d never put it on again. You’d shoved it towards the very back of your closet hoping to forget it existed, and yet here you stood being haunted by your past in spite of how hard you’d worked to separate yourself from your life as an Avenger.

“You look good,” Bucky compliments from behind you, figure leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest as he takes in the sight of you. He desperately wants to cross the room and pull you against him, hold you by the hips and pour all of his gratitude for your help into a kiss, but he refrains. He doesn’t want to cross any boundaries, but he isn’t exactly sure how to act around his soon-to-be ex-wife. The air is awkward with uncertainty and tense with your anger at having been dragged into this mess, but neither of you dare make note of it.

“I look like an Avenger,” you mutter dryly before pushing past him in search of your boots. “Now tell me again what the plan is.”

“Thanks to Valentina’s assistant I have their location. There’s an abandoned mechanic shop along the way, and you’re going to wait for me there while I bring them in. All I need you to do is help me keep them in line and present the evidence at the hearing.”

“Doing all the dirty work?” You muse with a raised brow. “How noble of you.”

“I know you don’t want to be here, so I’m trying to keep you out of the action as much as possible,” Bucky avows with a sigh, making a move to reach out for your hand only to quickly pull it back. If you notice his slip up you say nothing of it, only holding his gaze as he continues, “I can’t promise this won’t go sideways because it very well could, but I’ll have your back just like I always do.”

Your hard exterior softens at his confession, and you find your eyes quickly darting to the floor to avoid his burning stare. Your heart tightens in your chest with despair as you’re reminded of the fact that despite your impending divorce, you love him with your entire being. Bucky has been by your side for years, and you’re terrified of what life will be like without him as your partner, but you keep reminding yourself that it’s for the best. There isn’t a future there anymore, and you’re tired of living a life of fighting. You’re no longer compatible, and the sooner you accept it the better off you’ll be.

“You should go,” you urge, abruptly ending the tender moment he’d created. “If what Mel says is true about them escaping then they probably already have a target on their heads. You need to get to them first.”

Nodding in understanding, Bucky bids you goodbye by placing an awkward hand on your shoulder. It isn’t very subtle by any means, but the gesture has you cracking the smallest of smiles at the man. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Be careful, James,” you say quietly, a hint of vulnerability shining through your tone. Despite the front you out on, your eyes always give you away. Bucky can note the worry in them, the love you hold for the man you married all those years ago. He knows it’s naive of him to think a woman who’s always been so strong willed would ever change her mind after it’s already been made up, but he really hopes he won’t have to sign those papers when you finally get home.

“Always am for you,” he replies with a faint smile, unable to stop himself from gently brushing his knuckles against your jaw the way he knows you like. Your eyes flutter shut almost on instinct form the contact, and in spite of your better judgement you find yourself missing the feel of his touch when he pulls away and leaves you to your own devices.

As planned, you drive yourself to the mechanic shop and sit in wait for Bucky to return with the agents. You’re restless trying to find ways to keep yourself busy in his absence- stretching, unloading and reloading your gun, scrolling through the latest news articles regarding Valentina’s impeachment. You appreciate Bucky’s want to respect your wishes as much as he can in the situation you find yourselves in, but you feel useless not being part of the action. The quiet leaves you with nothing but your thoughts, and all you can focus on is your broken relationship.

Where had it gone wrong? When was the moment it finally occurred to you that you weren’t happy? Were you making a mistake?

Your agonizing rumination is interrupted by the sound of the front doors slamming open. You quickly rise from your place on the work bench and watch as the disheveled group is ushered in by your husband. Hands bound and defeat clear on their faces, you think it’s safe to say the rest of this mission should be easy enough.

“It cannot be,” a voice utters in awe, prompting you to turn your inquisitive gaze towards the man with the unkempt beard and red suit. “It is y/n Barnes! The Avenger!”

You shift awkwardly at the feeling of all eyes now focused on you and offer a meager wave of your fingers in response to the man. Bucky simply rolls his eyes and forces the group to sit before reinforcing their restraints so they can’t escape. You find your gaze subtly shifting to the blonde woman seated a few feet across from you, chest tightening at her mere presence. You don’t know her personally, but you’d heard endless stories about her from Natasha when she was still alive. She’s different from what you pictured, but there’s no doubt in your mind that this is Yelena.

“Y/n, great to see you again,” John greets with an airy grin despite currently being bound with a metal rod. You hold back a laugh when Bucky forcefully tightens the restraints in annoyance at hearing the man attempt to start a friendly rapport with you. It’s clear your husband still isn’t a fan of Walker, not that you blame him considering what you’d been through with the man.

“Wish I could say the same,” you hum with a subtle shrug. “I’m just here to help clean up Bucky’s mess.”

“And what mess would that be?” Ava prompts with a grunt after Bucky tests her restraints.

“Whatever mess I need to make to prove Valentina’s guilty,” Bucky answers for you. “You guys are the evidence, so you’re going to march into that impeachment hearing with me and tell the board everything you know.”

“No, no, see, we don’t work for Valentina anymore,” Yelena interjects despite Bucky’s skeptical glare. “We actually are working together to take her down.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that?” Bucky scoffs.

“She’s telling the truth, Bucky,” John interjects, and while the Winter Soldier doesn’t seem interested in what they have to say, you are.

“What’s really going on then?” You ask, inquisitive gaze meeting Yelena’s frenzied blue eyes.

“Valentina was going to incinerate us, but then we met Bob and escaped.”

“Bob?” Bucky retorts in disbelief.

“Yes, Bob! We thought he was just some weird guy, but it turns out he can fly which would have been good to know when we were stuck in that elevator and-“

“Okay, okay, enough. You can say whatever you want but it’s not going to work.”

“Bucky,” you call gently, his features immediately softening at the sound of his name falling from your lips. You shift closer to the man and lower your voice to a hushed whisper before speaking, “I don’t think they’re lying.”

“What? Of course they are!” He scoffs indignantly, prompting you to roll your eyes in response. “You expect me to believe a story about some guy named Bob?”

“I expect you to be impartial. Isn’t that kind of your thing, Mr. Congressman?” You rebuff sarcastically much to the man’s chagrin. “The least you can do is hear them out.”

“I think you should listen to her,” Alexei pipes innocently, only serving to agitate the man further. However, before he can offer a rebuttal the sound of his phone ringing interrupts your conversation. You watch your husband shoot him a warning glance before answering the call.

“Hey,” another voice calls, prompting you to shift your focus onto Yelena. “Are you really an Avenger?”

“Retired,” you correct her with a faint smile.

“But you were one,” she insists, “and if you were then… you knew my sister.”

You feel your chest tighten immediately at the mention of Natasha, the air around you suddenly becoming thick with tension as all eyes land on you. You shift uncomfortably on your feet and cross your arms defensively over your chest before offering a single nod of acknowledgement to her statement. By the look on her face you know she wants to ask you more, but your conversation is interrupted by the sound of Bucky’s exasperated voice.

“Valentina was working on something called Project Sentry?” He retorts, catching the attention of your hostages. “A guy named Bob?”

“Yes, Bob!” All four exclaim indignantly at finally being proven right. You hold back a laugh and instead give him a pointed look as he finally hangs up his phone and sighs.

“Alright, change of plans. I’m going to stop Valentina, and you guys are coming with me.”

“Wait, us?” Yelena retorts in uncertainty.

“Yeah, you,” Bucky replies with a raised brow. “Why? You got some place to be?”

“Bucky,” you interject pointedly, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him aside to create some semblance of privacy from the others. “What the hell are you doing? You said we were just gathering evidence, not risking our lives fighting against some super powered experiment.”

“That was before I learned she’d created a literal human weapon,” he rebuttals with an exasperated wave of his hands. “I told you things might get messy, but we can handle it. We always have.”

“You seem to forget that I don’t want to handle it,” you remind him pointedly. “I’m here because I care about you, because I love you too much to leave you hanging, but this isn’t my life anymore.”

“You think it doesn’t kill me to ask for your help?” Bucky prompts gently, unable to help himself from fervently taking your hands in his own. “You think throwing you into a dangerous mission at the last second isn’t gnawing at my entire conscious right now? I know what’s at stake here, and I know you don’t owe me anything, but we have to do this. You know we do.”

You pull your lips into a thin line and shift your gaze to the ground as you contemplate his words. You’d told him you were done with fighting, even decided to end your marriage because of it, but you knew he had a point. You couldn’t exactly retire if the world was left in ruins, and you also knew you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if something happened to Bucky because you chose to bail on him instead of seeing your final mission together through.

The feel of his hand gently squeezing your own brings you out of your thoughts and back to the present. You allow him to gently lift your chin with his metal hand so that he can meet your eyes, causing your heart to leap in your chest at the intimate gesture. You haven’t been this close to him since you professed your desire to end the marriage, but the man still has a way of softening your hard exterior with ease.

“You know I would never let anything happen to you,” he utters softly, “so I need you to trust me.”

Your lips pull into a slight pout as you fight within yourself to resist melting into his touch. You shouldn’t still be this attached to a man you’re about to divorce, but you love him, and that’s what makes this is all so complicated.

Finally, you let out a sigh and solemnly reply, “I trust you, and I’m going to help you see this through to the end because no matter what we’re partners.”

“Partners,” Bucky repeats fondly, chest swelling with pride at the notion. You may no longer be husband and wife, but at its core your relationship is one of teamwork and trust. Retired Avenger or not, you’ll always be there for Bucky when he needs you.

Because in spite of the legal documents sitting on your coffee table back at home, you still love him with your entire being.

And that terrifies you.

~~~

You feel the ground jostle beneath you as Bucky drives over another pothole. You’re not exactly the most comfortable stuck in the loading bed of the truck the team decided to steal, but Alexei had been so excited to ride shotgun with the Winter Soldier that you didn’t have it in you to protest. Besides, it was something you’d have to start getting used to now since ending your marriage also meant ending your passenger seat privileges.

Yelena, John, and Ava proudly boast their weaponry, but you’re too lost in thought to register any part of their conversation. Bucky had been vague when revealing the details of where Valentina’s Watchtower was located, and you knew him well enough to figure out when he was hiding something from you. You had no idea what secret he was keeping, but you had a feeling you weren’t going to like what was waiting for you at the end of this drive.

You feel a nudge against your boot and look up to find the three now staring at you expectantly. You blink in surprise before asking, “Were you saying something?”

“Are you really Bucky’s wife like John says?” Ava prompts with intrigue.

“I… technically still am, yes,” you reply with a careful nod, fingers already beginning to search for your missing ring on instinct.

“What do you mean by that?” John questions with furrowed brows. You shoot him a glare and awkwardly shift in your seat, not exactly thrilled at your personal life being put on the spot by people you’ve only known for a few hours.

“We’re getting a divorce,” you state bluntly in an attempt to simply rip the bandage right off. The man looks stunned, and the air has now suddenly become thick with awkward tension.

“Did not see that coming,” he breathes out remorsefully, clearly regretting having asked in the first place. “How could you be getting a divorce? The last time I saw you two you couldn’t spend more than five seconds away from each other.”

“It’s complicated, and no offense but I’m not about to get into my marriage problems with a truck full of strangers,” you snark defensively. He raises his hands in surrender and says nothing more, but your mood has effectively been ruined.

“I have a question,” Yelena pipes up with an innocent raise of her hand. “If you say you’re retired, then why are you helping us?”

“Because I can’t exactly retire if Valentina blows the world up with her bullshit,” you explain with a harsh exhale. Then, features softening, you utter, “and I couldn’t live with myself if I let innocent people get hurt because I chose not to help them.”

“God, you sound like an Avenger,” Ava scoffs in detestation, “so selfless and kind. How’d someone like you become the Winter Soldier’s wife?”

You smile faintly at the question, chest filling with warmth as your mind drifts back to all those years ago when you’d first met Bucky. Despite how things are now, you don’t think you’d change any of it.

You had just worked your way up to becoming an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. when Pierce pulled you aside for a ‘special’ assignment. Too naive to question why he’d want to trust a rookie with an important job, you followed orders and went to the designated coordinates full of excitement for your first job. You had no idea he was setting you up to run into the Winter Soldier so he could see your potential firsthand. You barely survived the fight, and Bucky probably would have killed you if they hadn’t called it off, but Pierce decided then that you would be his new pet project. You were sworn to secrecy after being threatened with your life, and you didn’t dare try to resist.

You trained mercilessly under the watchful guidance of the Winter Soldier, pushed to your breaking point nearly every day until you were deemed ready to join him on missions. You became his shadow, following his every move and making it your own. Eventually, you were trusted to tend to him after assignments as well- cleaning his wounds, calming him into submission, tending to whatever need he had. In a strange sort of way you were partners, and he came to respect you as an individual instead of viewing you as a subordinate. You became close, too close for Pierce’s liking, and the man decided you no longer fit into his plans.

Bucky had been ordered to kill you the next time you were sent on an assignment together, but the plan was thankfully intercepted by the arrival of Captain America and Black Widow. The entire operation had blown up thanks to their efforts, and you were freed, but your companion was nowhere to be found. The Avengers took you in as their own, and in that time you struggled to accept that the man you’d grown so close to had left you behind.

Your paths crossed once more in the wake of the Sokovia Accords, and though your reunion had initially been uncomfortably awkward, you soon were able to fall back into your old routine. Your partnership became friendship, and when you chose to stay behind with him in Wakanda it evolved into a relationship of unwavering love and support. You helped each other work through what Hydra had put you through, understood each other in a way no one else did, and promised to be by one another’s side for the rest of time.

The trio is captivated by your story, and you find yourself falling quiet as you realize such a promise can no longer be kept. Your marriage is ending, and eventually you’ll go back to being strangers once more. You sniffle, awkwardly clearing your throat as you realize you’d become more vulnerable than you intended to be with the group. Their solemn gazes burn your skin in a way that’s suffocating, and you wish they’d just move on from the topic already.

“I know it’s not my place,” John begins, filling you with trepidation and unease, “but it sounds like you’re making a mistake.”

“Excuse me?”

“Look, I don’t know the full story, but it’s obvious you still love him. You shouldn’t give up so easily-“

“You know what, John? You’re right,” you retort bitterly, tone dripping with sarcasm, “it’s not your place. In fact, you’re the last person I’d take marriage advice from, so why don’t we just keep our opinions to ourselves.”

The man’s features fall at your harsh comment, and while you’d normally feel remorse for snapping at someone so quickly all you feel is anger at yourself. You know his words hold some truth to them; you still love Bucky, and you want nothing more than to stay married, but neither of you can seem to reach an agreement that suits both of your needs. He can’t live a life of inaction, and you can’t give up on the picket fence dream, so what the hell are you supposed to do?

The rest of the truck ride is quiet, and no one dares to ask anymore questions about your marriage.

~~~

You understand now why Bucky seemed to be so avoidant about disclosing the location of Valentina’s new base. How was he supposed to tell you that the new building she’d acquired was the one you once called home?

Your entire body feels on edge as you squeeze into the elevator and watch the doors close as you begin to move towards the top floor. It’s been years since you stepped foot in this building, but you still know every turn and corner like the back of your hand. Memories of the past haunt you like ghosts, causing your chest to ache with nostalgia and longing for a time that had long since passed. Your days as a fresh faced recruit had been so simple and safe; you hadn’t experienced real tragedy yet, and you were protected in the little bubble you lived in as an Avenger. Everything had changed so quickly, and you still found yourself struggling to pick up the pieces.

“Hey,” Bucky’s voice whispers gently, hand coming to rest comfortingly on the small of your back, “you okay?”

“I don’t know,” you answer truthfully. You feel like you’re in a daze, and you’re not sure how you’re supposed to handle being thrusted back to your past. “I never thought I’d come back here.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before,” he murmurs sincerely. “I know I should have, but I thought it might overwhelm you.”

Too lost in anxious thought, you absently reach for his hand just as you’ve done numerous times in the past and hold on tightly to ground yourself. Though he’s surprised by the action, he’s able to respond by giving your hand a gentle squeeze back.

“I’m here,” he promises you. You swallow thickly and give him a small nod, bracing yourself as the elevator doors finally open to the top floor.

Your hand never leaves Bucky’s as you cautiously step forward and begin to scan the room. You can see that Valentina has taken the liberty of redesigning the place, but the layout is still identical. You can almost see yourself sitting on the couch watching Tony attempt to lift Thor’s hammer, having a talk with Steve on the balcony after a rough day of training, lounging at the bar counter begging Natasha to show you how to make her signature cocktail.

Some of your happiest memories are permanently embedded in this building, but that all fades away at the sight of Valentina pouring herself a glass of champagne right where you pictured Natasha to be.

“Took you guys long enough,” she jests coyly before making her way around the island counter. “What do you think? This place certainly wasn’t cheap, but I think it’ll do just fine. God, can you imagine the glorious battles that took place in this very room? I know you can, y/n.”

You tense at her observation and feel your lips curl into an irritated scowl at her blatant disrespect. It takes everything in you not to lunge at the woman, and if not for Bucky still tightly grasping your hand you’d be in the midst of throwing a right hook.

“This ends today,” Bucky warns her lowly as your group begins to surround the woman. Each and every one of you has a bone to pick with her, and you’re eager to finally bring her to justice and get this whole thing over with.

“Congressman Barnes, wow,” she greets with feigned surprise. “You know, I never really thought you’d have a promising political career, but less than half a term? Yikes.”

You take a step towards her only for Bucky to pull you back, causing the woman to let out an amused huff through her nose. Her smug demeanor and careless need to insult your husband has you fuming, but that’s exactly what she wants. Valentina knows how to get under someone’s skin, and you fair no better to her mind games than anyone else.

“Mrs. Barnes,” she greets cordially with an air of false sweetness, “I can still call you that, right? Congratulations on the impending divorce. I gotta say, I like you much better as an Avenger than a housewife.”

“Retired Avenger,” you correct her through gritted teeth. “This suit’s coming off as soon as we kick your ass.”

“You know, I never understood why you two were together, but I’m starting to see it now.”

“We’re taking you in, Val,” John interrupts only for the woman to chuckle in response.

“I don’t think so, junior varsity Captain America.”

He immediately reaches for his gun, and though you’re interested to see where this will go Bucky is quick to interject and have the blond stand down. She hums, clearly unthreatened, and turns her attention to the other two women in the room.

“Oh, nice to see you, Ava. Yelena,” she pauses while looking the Widow up and down, “you look awful. Are you sure you’re really ready for that public facing role you asked me about.”

“Eat shit, Valentina,” Yelena says bluntly before taking a menacing step towards her. “Where’s Bob?”

Despite being clearly outnumbered, Valentina remains calm and sure of herself as she takes another drink from her glass of champagne. “Look at you, you all are so adorable. Just think, I send you down there to kill each other, and instead you make nice and form a team.”

The circle around her grows tighter, and you watch on edge as Bucky takes a step towards the woman with his hand aiming for her throat. However, an invisible force prevents him from moving any closer, prompting your group to look between each other unsurely.

“Oh, I’m not alone,” she explains apologetically before glancing towards the stairs. It’s then that a new face enters the room, and you watch with uncertainty as a blond man in a golden suit slowly makes his descent down the stairway.

“Bob?” Yelena calls skeptically. After everything you’d heard from the group, the man before you is certainly the last person you’d ever expect to be the Bob they’d discussed.

“His name is Sentry,” Valentina corrects, “and he’s my get out of jail free card. Once I bring him to the impeachment trial they’re sure to let me keep my job. In fact, I’ll be able to protect the American people in the way I see fit.“

“That’s never going to work,” you argue indignantly. “They’d have to be crazy to give you full control.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” Valentina coos mockingly before turning to Bob. “Sentry, these people are criminals and a danger to the American public. I need you to dispose of them for me.”

You carefully rest your hand on the handle of your gun, watching intently as the man looks from your group to Valentina. You have no idea what he’s capable of or how this fight is going to turn out, but you’re ready to do whatever it takes to make sure you get to go home after all is said and done.

“I don’t want to,” Bob says uncomfortably, “they’re not a threat to me so why should I have to fight them? I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

Despite his hesitance to complete Valentina’s request and Yelena’s insistence for the group to back off, a fight soon breaks out between Sentry and your team with Alexei being the first to throw a punch. You assume that with the numbers on your side you’ll be able to defeat him with ease, but you couldn’t be more wrong. The hero is essentially indestructible, and every punch you throw or bullet you fire doesn’t so much as leave a scratch.

You barely manage to miss getting toppled over by Ava after she’s thrown across the room, rolling out of the way and landing next to Bucky who looks rightfully frazzled. You can tell he hadn’t been expecting this either, but the fact that you’re currently on the same page brings you little comfort.

“I have a plan,” you pant breathlessly while picking yourself up off the floor. “You distract him from the front and I’ll creep up from behind.”

“You really think that’s going to work?” He breathes, watching as you pull your knife from your thigh holster.

“Only one way to find out,” you reply with an easygoing shrug despite the dread that’s pooling in your stomach at the thought of this going wrong. While you’d initially joined this mission due to the fact that you couldn’t retire if the world was in danger, you’re starting to realize now that you can’t retire if you’re dead either. You just hope this works.

Bucky gives you a single nod before sprinting full speed at Bob, allowing you a window of opportunity to creep up behind him. You grip the handle of your knife tightly in your hand before lunging forward and driving the blade into his neck, but to your horror the impact causes the metal to crumple in on itself. Your knife falls to the floor with a deafening clatter, and suddenly Sentry’s focus is on you as his hardened gaze closes in on your terrified face.

His hand shoots out before you can react, fingers closing around your throat as he slowly lifts you off the ground. Your hands desperately claw at his arm while your feet try to kick him away, but he doesn’t even budge. His gaze is cold and unfeeling, as if your pathetic gasps for air are but a mere nuisance to him. You can feel the world fading around you as he tightens his grip, and you can’t help but to think how poetic it would be for you to die here in the tower.

“Let her go!” Bucky growls before pulling out his gun and relentlessly firing at the superhuman. He’s panicking. He can see the fight slowly starting to die within you, but he’s not about to let you be taken from him so easily.

“Fine,” Sentry utters unpityingly before carelessly throwing your body across the room like a rag doll. You slam into the wall behind the bar counter, bottles of liquor shattering from the impact and digging into your skin as you drop to the ground in a heap of broken glass. Bucky’s eyes widen in panic before turning sharp with unbridled rage. His chest is tight with an anger he hasn’t felt since his time as the Winter Soldier, and all he can see is red as he pulls off his jacket and tosses it to the side.

Your entire body feels like it’s on fire, a sharp pain shooting up your spine as someone rushes over and picks you up out of the glass. The room feels like it’s spinning and your vision is so spotty you barely register Alexei looking down at you with worry as he carries you over to the others. You reach back with a groan for Bucky, but the Red Guardian shushes you in what he hopes is a comforting manner before handing you over to John.

As you feel yourself finally starting to come to, the first thing your gaze focuses on is the sight of Sentry catching a punch Bucky has thrown with his metal arm. You watch in dismay as he slowly twists the appendage before ripping it straight off and hitting your husband upside the head. You cry out in horror as his body slides across the floor in front of you, and despite the way your own body screams in pain you forcefully drag yourself over to him. He’s barely conscious, a bruise already forming on his cheek, but the gentle touch of your hands on his face has his eyes fluttering open to meet your worried gaze.

“Y/n?” He groans, prompting you to let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey, I’m here, honey,” you assure him in a trembling voice, “I’m here.”

It’s clear there’s no winning the battle against Sentry, so your team quickly scrambles to their feet and makes a dash towards the elevator. Alexei helps you carry Bucky inside while Ava makes sure to grab hold of his discarded arm, and with a rapid push of the control panel the doors are sliding shut and sending you back to the ground floor.

Things fall apart pretty quickly after that.

Your entire team disperses despite Alexei’s insistence you stay together as the newly proclaimed Thunderbolts. Only you and Bucky are left standing in front of the tower as you try to figure out the next move, though you’re not exactly in a rush to throw yourself back into the ring with Sentry. Your body aches beyond relief and a dull throbbing sensation has settled in the back of your skull, and you’re barely able to keep yourself upright as you lean back against the building.

“It’s a good thing I never plan to wear this again,” you retort sarcastically while carefully pulling shards of glass from your suit.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asks solemnly, hands gently cradling your face to get a good look at you. Thankfully your skin only sports minor cuts and scrapes that will heal over time, but this doesn’t alleviate the guilt he feels in the pit of his stomach. You’re here because of him, because he’d begged you to come in a last ditch effort to save your marriage, and as a result you’d almost been killed.

As if reading his thoughts, you gently reach up to grasp onto his wrists to ground him and pull him out of his ruminative thoughts. “Hey, I’m alright. I’ve been through worse.”

“That doesn’t make it any better,” he murmurs repentantly before carefully pulling you closer to press a kiss to your forehead. You hum appreciatively at the gesture, having missed the feeling of lips against your skin and the tenderness of his touch. It’s getting harder and harder to resist falling back into old habits, but that seems to be the least of your worries now. “I thought I lost you.”

“So did I,” you admit disquietingly, troubled gaze meeting his own worried one.

“What the hell are we doing, y/n?” Bucky utters gently, the softness of his tone harshly contrasting his words.

“Attempting to save the world?” You answer unsurely only for him to shake his head.

“I mean about us, about our marriage. He almost killed you, and the thought of losing you forever terrified me,” he professes earnestly. “We were lucky enough to get out of there alive, but I never want to feel that way again. I can’t just let you walk out of my life when this is all over.”

“James, we’ve talked about this,” you beg him desperately, throat beginning to tighten with the amalgamation of emotions you hold back. “It’s just not going to work. I love you more than anything, but I want to start a family. I want something stable.”

“You’re not even willing to try?” He pleads despite the clear defeat on his features. You bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from crying and turn away so you don’t have to meet his gaze.

“I can’t talk about this right now,” you shudder while blinking back tears. “It’s all too much, I just-“

You’re interrupted mid sentence as the ground beneath you begins to rumble. Distant screams fill the air and Bucky quickly pulls you into his side as he scans the area for any signs of danger. Your eyes trail towards the skyline above you and you freeze, body becoming rigid as you grab onto Bucky’s arm to get his attention.

A dark shadow hovers above you, chaos surrounding him as he stares you down. Panic floods the streets of New York, and despite the excruciating pain you feel you’re quick to jump into action and assist civilians in evading falling debris and runaway cars.

It seems now you’ll just have to wait until later to discuss the future of your marriage.

~~~

You wake up somewhere cold.

You have no idea where you are, but the last thing you remember is following Yelena into the void in hopes of finding her alive. You’re alone, and your surroundings are unfamiliar as you slowly pick yourself up off the ground and begin to aimlessly wander around. Gravel crunches under your feet as you walk, the darkness slowly fading into light as you begin to hear a cluster of voices.

A door stands before you, cracked open slightly enough for light to seep through and beckon you inside. You slowly push it open and step over the threshold to find yourself in an abandoned warehouse. Across the way from you stands the silhouette of a man, his figure menacing as he hovers over a woman. Her hands tremble with the weight of the gun she holds, her heavy breathing and quiet sobs filling the air as she points the weapon towards the man bound to a chair in front of her.

“Pull the trigger,” the man utters in Russian, the familiarity of it filling your stomach with unease. A sense of dejavú washes over you, and as you come closer to the scene you start to realize that you do know where you are.

“I can’t,” she snivels, flinching as his hands come to rest upon her own and steady her grip.

“You must,” the man coaxes her, and after an agonizing pause of silence a gunshot rings through the air. You gasp, stumbling back in shock at being faced with a memory you thought had long since been pushed to the back of your mind and forgotten.

Your first kill under Hydra.

The sound causes both figures to turn, and you feel sick to your stomach as you meet the gazes of the Winter Soldier and your younger self. His eyes harden, his approach menacing as he begins to step towards you, and you quickly sprint back to the door in a desperate attempt to escape his clutches.

You slam it behind you just before he can grab you, falling back against the wood with a heaving chest as you try to catch your breath and steady yourself. Your eyes squeeze themselves shut in an effort to keep the rising tears at bay, and when you open them again you discover your surroundings have changed once more.

You’re in the training room of Avengers tower, and you’re met with the sight of yourself angrily swinging your fists against a punching bag. Your knuckles are raw and bloody from the force you use, but you remain relentless. You keep going, even as the sobs begin to wrack your body and your momentum begins to slow.

You frown, slowly walking up behind your other self and resting a comforting hand on her back. She seems to falter before collapsing against the bag and breaking down into an ugly crying fit. The sound echoes throughout the room and fills you with unease, but you continue to run soothing circles into her skin to calm her down.

“Why did he leave me?” She sobs, prompting a chill to go down your spine. You remember this point in your life, the aftermath of Pierce and the collapse of Shield. Bucky had disappeared, and though you were grateful to the Avengers for taking you in as one of their own, you couldn’t understand why he hadn’t come back for you. You knew you meant something to him, you had to after all the time you’d spent together and the fact that he’d defied his orders to kill you. You’d never felt more alone, and all you wanted was your James.

“He thought you’d be better off without him in your life,” you assure her even though she doesn’t seem to hear you. “He did it to protect you because he loves you. You’ll see him again.”

The memory resets, and soon she’s back to assaulting the punching bag with all of her pent up anger. You leave her to grieve and make your way out of the room. No matter where you go, the pattern is the same; each place holds a defining moment in your life, some more painful than others, but all of them force you to confront your past.

You’re still no closer to finding Yelena or the rest of your group, and you’re starting to become frustrated. None of this makes any sense, and you feel like a rat aimlessly running through a maze. At one point you become so fed up you break through a mirror in an attempt to land somewhere else, and you end up falling face first onto a patch of dirt. The sunlight is jarring after being stuck inside for so long, and you raise your hand to shield your face so you can survey your new surroundings.

Slowly getting back up onto your feet, you quickly put the pieces together and come to realize you’ve landed back in Wakanda. You think you’re alone at first, but as you turn around you come face to face with a pair of blue eyes. Your heart stops at the sight of him and you falter, unsure whether or not to reach out for him.

“Steve?” Your voice calls, but it isn’t your lips that his name falls out of. You quickly whip around to see yourself limping forward with a deep gash in your side that you desperately press your hand against. Your hair is shorter, features younger, and suit different from the one you wear now, but these details allow you to quickly determine what point of your life you find yourself at now.

“What happened? Where’s Bucky?” Your past self questions uneasily as she scan the area for any sign of the man. Steve looks away guilty, refusing to meet her gaze as he thinks of something to say. “Steve?”

“He’s…” the Captain starts to speak, unable to finish his sentence. Her face falls while her hand immediately rises to hover over her mouth in shock. Tears immediately well in her eyes as she slowly shakes her head in disbelief, suffocating anguish clawing at her throat as she struggles to breathe.

“No… No, he’s not. You’re lying!” She yells aggrievedly while forcing her aching body to walk towards the man. “Where’s is he?! What did you do?!”

“I couldn’t do anything to stop it,” Steve murmurs gently, eyes pleading as he begs you to understand. “He’s gone. I’m sorry, y/n.”

“You’re lying!” She screams, body finally giving out from the overexertion as she collapses onto her knees. Natasha quickly rushes over and helps your past self back onto her feet, allowing you to lean against her for support as you sob. “He’s not- he can’t be!”

You take a shuddering breath and turn away from the scene, overcome with emotion at reliving your grief and heartache. You thought you’d lost Bucky forever, and in that moment you felt your entire world had ended. He’d been taken from you, and you’d be forced to spend the next five years attempting to pick up the pieces and move on. You’ll forever regret lashing out at Steve so harshly, for taking out your anger on a man that had watched his best friend disappear into dust. He was hurting too, and you wish you could take it back.

You can’t be here anymore. It’s all becoming too much, and despite the fact that you’re starting to lose hope of ever being reunited with the others you know you have to keep trying. You push through the brush and shrubbery of the Wakandan fields in search of a way out, and after fighting tooth and nail to escape you end up stumbling into your apartment.

You feel disoriented and confused at being in your own living room, and for a moment you think you might have somehow managed to escape the Void and found your way home. Everything looks as it should, and nothing is left out of place. You take this moment to let your guard down and rest by taking a seat on the couch, allowing your aching head to fall back against the cushions while you gather your thoughts. You’re emotionally drained, and you don’t think you can keep this up for much longer. Would it be so bad to just give up and accept your fate?

“You finally made it.”

You jump at the sound of another voice in the room with you and look up to see Bucky standing over you with a weary smile. You jump onto your feet immediately and throw yourself into his arms for a hug. He catches you with ease, holding you tightly against him as if you’ll disappear otherwise.

“Bucky, oh my god!” You exclaim before pulling away to cup his face in your hands and look him over. “Is it really you?”

“It’s me, sweetheart,” he assures you before leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of your head.

“How did you find me here? These rooms are supposed to be my own memories.”

“That’s the thing,” he sighs solemnly before casting a glance towards the hallway, “this is my memory too.”

You look up at him with uncertainty and confusion, but before you can question him the front door swings open. You watch as past versions of Bucky and yourself walk into the apartment, both clearly exhausted from whatever public event they’d just attended. You kick off your heels by the door and set your purse on the counter while Bucky shrugs off his suit jacket.

“I think it went well tonight,” he notes with a smile before walking past you to get himself a glass of water. You stand in silence at the island table with your head hung low and hands planted firmly on the counter as you try to gather your thoughts.

“James,” you call gently, unable to meet his questioning gaze, “we need to talk.”

“What’s wrong?” He asks with a puzzled frown, clearly taken back by your sudden change in demeanor. You’d been all smiles the entire evening, so he wasn’t expecting such a drastic switch in tone.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you say in a trembling voice, finally lifting your head to look him in the eyes. Silent tears streak down your face and Bucky feels his chest tighten at the sight.

“Can’t do what anymore? What’s going on, y/n?”

“This!” You exclaim in frustration while gesturing to yourself. “The parties, the public appearances. You promised me when we got married we’d stay out of the spotlight, but not once have we ever been able to have a moment of peace just between the two of us.”

“Hey, come on, of course we have,” he tries to soothe you by gently resting a hand on your arm, but you’re quick to pull away from his touch.

“All the plans we make just keep getting pushed aside for something else. I wanted a house, but we got the apartment to stay in the city in case Sam needed us. I wanted to retire, and yet every time there’s a fight we’re there. I wanted to start a family-“

“We can still do all of those things,” he insists desperately only for you to shake your head in quiet defeat. “I love you, y/n.”

“I love you, James,” you sniffle with a watery smile that temporarily alleviates his anxieties, “but it’s clear to me that we both want different things for ourselves.”

“What are you saying?” He presses you, voice low and apprehensive as he waits for you to speak with bated breath.

“I want a divorce.”

You turn away from the scene in shame as it resets, leaving you and Bucky alone once more in the apartment. Neither of you dares to speak at first, the air thick with tension and discomfort. You don’t even know what to say.

“Hard to believe that was only a month ago,” he jokes humorlessly in an attempt to break the silence.

“I don’t want to end our marriage,” you profess remorsefully. “I just relived every moment we were pulled apart and it was hell. I can’t live without you, but I don’t know how to handle all of this.”

“No one says marriage is easy,” he reminds you, gently resting his hand upon your cheek. “And I definitely haven’t made it easy for you.”

“I just got so tired of fighting,” your murmur faintly, eyes beginning to well with tears. “I want to give it all up, but how can I? I could have said no to you when you asked me to join you on this trip, I could have gone home instead of coming with you to fight Sentry, but I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if something happened to you because I wasn’t there. Being an Avenger is all I know, and I hate that.”

“Hey, come on, you’re so much more than an Avenger,” Bucky coos sweetly while using his thumb to wipe away some of the tears that had fallen. “You’re strong, you’re brave, not to mention you have the patience of a Saint, and I would know considering how much Sam and I have tested it in the past.”

That gets a quiet laugh out of you, and Bucky’s heart swells with pride at being able to get you to smile. He’s missed sharing moments like this with you, tender moments where you keep each other from falling apart. He doesn’t want to lose that.

“What do we do? I want a life that doesn’t revolve around being a world saving hero, and you want to continue to help make the world a better place, so where do we go from here?”

Bucky falters for a moment as he contemplates his answer. You don’t think there is a right answer, and you fear that he might come to that realization. Instead, carefully grasps your chin between his thumb and forefinger to tilt your head upward.

“We compromise,” he answers with furrowed brows, as if surprised at himself for not coming up with it sooner. “That’s what a good relationship is built on, isn’t it? We can have both.”

“How do we do that?” You prompt him, obvious uncertainty present on your features.

“It’s not going to be easy, but it isn’t impossible,” he assures you with a firm nod. “We can have the house and the family, and when the world needs us to suit up we will. We just have to find a balance.”

He makes it sound much simpler than it will be in practice, and though there’s a part of you that fears it’ll never work, there’s also a part of you that will regret it forever if you don’t at least try. Bucky has become a permanent fixture in your life, and you never want to face a point in your life where he isn’t by your side. You’ve been through more hardships than most married couples have, endured awful traumas and challenges, but each time you’ve managed to persevere together.

“Okay,” you breathe with finality, “let’s compromise.”

It feels like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders when you express your want to continue fighting for your marriage. This entire time Bucky has been dreading going home and facing the divorce papers that sit waiting on your coffee table back at the apartment, but he can now rest assured knowing those files will never be fulfilled.

He wraps his arms around you once more and pulls you in for a searing kiss. Your hands find purchase on his shoulders immediately, mouth moving in tandem with his own as you pour all of your love and heartache into your shared embrace. You’ve missed this more than anything, and now that you’re back in his arms again everything feels like it’s finally starting to fall back into place. You know you still have a job to do, but you’re more determined now than ever to save Yelena and get the hell out of the Void.

And you’re determined to do it together.

~~~

You fall back onto the hard asphalt with a groan, your limbs entangled with Bucky and Ava who lay beside you.

Despite all odds, you’d managed to help Bob overcome the Void and return yourselves and everyone else back to the real world. You were free from the nightmares of your past and safe on normal ground. You only wish he could remember everything you’d all just endured together as a team.

You look across the way to spot an apprehensive Valentina waiting for your group. Your shoulders tense in aggravation as the woman immediately begins to spew excuses for her wrongdoings, and you join the others in approaching her with a vengance. You can’t wait to bring her in and get her thrown into jail like you’d originally planned, and when all is said and done you’ll finally be able to go home with your husband.

“Now guys, let’s just talk,” she pleads anxiously before disappearing behind a green tarp. You quickly step through before you can lose her, but you soon regret it as you’re immediately bombarded by roaring applause and the flashing bulbs of cameras. You raise a hand to shield your face from the commotion and grab onto Bucky’s arm to steady yourself.

“What the hell is going on?” You groan in annoyance at being ambushed by an entire swarm of journalists. You don’t exactly look or feel camera ready right now, and the stunt only serves to agitate you further.

“How about another round of applause for our heroes!” Valentina boasts into her makeshift podium. “It is because of their selfless bravery that we are all standing here.”

Despite your disdain for the woman, you have to give her credit- she certainly knows how to put on a show. Your group mates exchange looks of uncertainty as she spews her bullshit speech to the eager reporters, unsure of what her angle is and what she’s about to rope you into.

“Today, the citizens of the United States needed protection, and thanks to my hard work, they got it. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the New Avengers.”

The crowd of spectators break out into joyous cheers of excitement and deafening applause, but none of it registers in your mind as you focus on the words that have just left the woman’s mouth. You’re stunned and unnerved at her declaration, but your stomach quickly grows heavy with anger. You feel like the name of your original team has been tarnished, and you’re fuming at the fact that she’d roped you into this without a second thought. This was not how you ever pictured your return, and you’re at a complete loss of words.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you snarl through gritted teeth, knowing that if looks could kill Valentina would be dead right now. “New Avengers? I am an Avenger.”

“I thought you were retired,” John murmurs under his breath, only fueling your anger further.

“Hold on,” Bucky assuages you, hand coming to gently rest upon your back. “I have an idea that could make this all work in our favor. Do you trust me?”

While your mind is still reeling at being thrusted into the spotlight again with a new team, your nerves begin to dwindle as you meet Bucky’s eyes. His features are sincere and understanding, and though there isn’t a single part of you that trusts Valentina, you trust Bucky with your life.

You give him a single nod before returning your gaze to the crowd. A swarm of journalists stand eagerly waiting to hear your input, dying to know what your plans for the team are as the only original Avenger. Bucky’s hand on your back keeps you calm, and you know that whatever happens next you’ll be able to handle it together.

Just like you always have.

~~~

12 Months Later

While you’d initially been resistant to joining the New Avengers under Valentina’s guidance, you have to admit that things have definitely seemed to turn out in your favor.

Yelena had made it clear to the woman that it was her who worked for you guys and not the other way around. You owned her, and if she wanted to stay out of prison then she had to meet your every demand. She especially needed you onboard considering your status as an original Avenger was the only thing that gave the team credibility, and that made it easier for you and Bucky to implement specific stipulations in your contracts.

You bought a house on the outskirts of the city where you could enjoy paid leave whenever you both saw fit, and under no circumstances was anyone to bother you during your time off. This was the compromise you and Bucky had made to ensure your marriage stayed strong. You could retreat to your quiet slice of normalcy and strengthen your relationship while still taking part in missions and saving lives. You’d finally found a balance for your individual needs, and divorce was now far from ever being on your mind.

Along with the house and paid leave, you and Bucky had also finally been able to achieve a milestone you’d wanted for years in your marriage.

“Watch your step,” he cautions, his metal arm resting on the small of your back while the other clasps your hand in his own as he helps you down the stairs.

“Relax, James,” you wave him off, “just because I gained a little weight doesn’t mean I can’t walk on my own.”

“I’m sorry, I just want to make sure nothing happens to you or the baby,” he confesses remorsefully while delicately resting his hand upon your growing stomach.

While the tower was being renovated for your team’s arrival, you and Bucky retreated to your new home to enjoy some well deserved rest. You settled in and made the place your own, and once your move in was complete Bucky took advantage of the fact that he had you all to himself free of disruptions. Thus, it was a surprise to neither of you that you eventually became pregnant. Though you were nervous about what this would mean for you both now that you were Avengers again, Bucky assured you he would do everything in his power to take care of you and your little one.

In the meantime, you did your best to stay out of the action and work behind the scenes to avoid any injuries that could threaten the health of you or the baby. You gathered intel, conducted surveillance, created strategies for missions, and piloted the jets for assignments requiring travel. You were still an active member of the team, and you took on your role as leader well. It made sense to everyone that you take the title considering your veteran status, and you had no trouble getting everyone to fall in line when needed. Your new little family was growing, and you found yourself at peace falling back into old routines.

“It’s about time you show up, we’re starving,” John calls to you both as you finally make it down the stairs and head towards the dining room where everyone is gathered.

“I’m the one eating for two here,” you remind him with a pointed look before taking your seat at the table. “What’s for dinner?”

“Special stew made by Alexei!” The Red Guardian boasts proudly while setting a bowl down in front of you. “Very good for you and little baby Avenger.”

“Thank you, Alexei,” you smile, waiting for him to turn his back before pushing the bowl towards Bucky for him to inspect. Alexei has a habit of making food that doesn’t exactly sit well with your stomach, so your husband has taken the liberty of taste testing all of his dishes for you.

“Have you thought any more about the names we’ve suggested?” Yelena prompts from her seat beside you.

“Yes, I have, and no, I’m not naming them little Yelena or Alexis.”

“What?” She exclaims with a pout, clearly taking offense to your answer. “What are you talking about? Those are great names.”

“Don’t listen to her, they are awful,” Ava agrees before digging into her stew.

“Do you have a name yet?” John prompts with intrigue. Ever since you’d announced your pregnancy he’d made it a habit to live vicariously through you and Bucky considering he hadn’t been present for his own wife and child.

You exchange a knowing look with Bucky and urge him to answer for you, smiling faintly at the proud look on your husband’s face as he thinks about the arrival of your future daughter.

“Brooklyn,” he states fondly to the surprise of your teammates. The name is an homage to the city he and Steve called home, and you couldn’t think of anything more perfect when he’d suggested it to you. Brooklyn Barnes would be arriving in four months, and you eagerly counted down the days until you could hold her in your arms.

“It’s not as good as Yelena but… not bad,” the blonde admits with a purse of her lips.

Dinner is a loud affair as always, but you enjoy spending time with the people you’ve come to call friends. Once your meal is finished, the group follows Bucky to the training room for drills while you stay behind with Bob and wash the leftover dishes. He’s still a bit reserved, but your inaction in the field has allowed you to spend more time with the man and help him open up to you. You enjoy the contrast his quiet nature brings to your chaotic surroundings.

You retire early for the night and choose to wait in your quarters for Bucky to return from training. Strangely enough, you’d been assigned the exact same room you once called your own during your time in Avengers Tower. At that point in your life you’d been alone and depressed, stranded with a group of what was essentially strangers while you waited for some sign of Bucky’s return. Now, you found yourself happily waiting for your husband to finish his workout with your hands lovingly rested on your stomach.

The doors to the room slide open to reveal a freshly showered Bucky, and he’s quick to immediately pull you into his arms as he joins you in bed.

“How’d it go?” You ask him while pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“Better than usual. I think they’ll be ready for this week’s mission.”

“I have full faith in your leadership abilities,” you confidently assure him.

“Well, that would make you the only one,” he jests dryly before pressing his lips to your forehead. “Sam’s still ignoring my calls.”

Your features morph into a frown at the mention of your friend. He’d been rightfully upset when he found out what you both were up to, and despite Bucky’s attempts to explain your actions Sam wanted none of it. He iced you both out, and though the news of the baby had gotten him to soften up the slightest bit towards you, he still made it a point to cut contact with Bucky.

“He just needs some time,” you assure him empathetically. “This isn’t your first fight and it probably won’t be your last, but you guys will be okay. I’m sure of it.”

“I just want us to have a better life. I want you to be happy, and I want to make sure Brooklyn will be safe even if that means having to work under Valentina and the government.”

“She will be,” you promise him with a fond look in your eyes, “because she has us, and she has an entire team of people that care about her even if they try to say otherwise.”

Bucky can’t help the careful smile that plays upon his lips at your reassurances. You always have a way of alleviating his worries and calming his nerves. Your marriage was stronger now because of the decisions he’d made to get you here, and he just had to hope Sam would be able to understand that. The safety of his wife and new baby was all that mattered to him now, and he’d do whatever it took to protect you both.

“I’m the luckiest man in the world, you know that?” Bucky coos before pulling you in for a tender kiss that you eagerly accept.

Come what may, you have complete faith that you’ll be okay. No matter the challenge, no matter the danger, you and Bucky have always managed to overcome any obstacle you’ve faced together. The future is never promised, but you know you’ll make it to the other side as long as you have each other.

For better or for worse, you’re Avengers now, but nothing will ever come between you as husband and wife.

~~~

“But we are the Avengers. The government said so,” Yelena protests fruitlessly as you make your way to the debrief room. “How does Sam Wilson not understand that?”

“Well, he does have the shield,” Bucky points out.

“Well, I’ve got a shield too.”

“Yeah, a shield that’s still bent like a taco,” you scoff in annoyance.

“It’s a great shield!” John insists defensively.

“It’s a shitty shield.”

“A great shield, Bucky.”

“Okay, well, if he puts together a team and calls them the Avengers, then who are the real Avengers?” Yelena insists.

“Probably the ones with Captain America on their team,” you sigh despondently, grateful to have finally reached the couch. You slowly sink down onto the cushions with Bucky’s help and lean back in an attempt to alleviate the weight on your spine. The Watchtower certainly wasn’t designed with pregnant women in mind, especially not women who were eight months pregnant, but you were managing. You technically should be home with Bucky enjoying the start of your maternity leave, but an atmospheric disturbance had halted all of your plans and forced you to call an emergency meeting.

“Well, that’s the question the internet has been asking, and judging by the very nasty memes that I’ve read they don’t think that it’s us,” John says while kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

“That’s not fair, we have an original Avenger on our side,” the blonde woman attests. “That means we are just as good as any team led by Captain America. Weren’t you going to talk to him, Bucky?”

“I already did,” your husband professes solemnly, guilt present in his features. “It went poorly.”

His relationship with Sam hadn’t gotten any better. If anything, the conversation had only seemed to make things worse. You felt for Bucky, but no matter what you said or did Sam was adamant in standing firm against the choices you’d made. He’d wished you well on your upcoming baby, but he made it clear that he wanted no part of the New Avengers or Valentina.

“You know he’s filed for copyright of the name,” Yelena informs your group incredulously as she finally ceases her pacing and joins you on the couch. “We’re losing credibility.”

“In which we had very little to begin with,” Ava notes with a wave of her hand. “All we have is an ‘Old Avenger’ to keep us afloat, and now she’s about to leave.”

“I can only carry you guys on my back for so long,” you retort in annoyance while defensively resting your hands on your stomach. “And for your information, just because I’ve been around longer than you all does not mean I’m an ‘Old Avenger.’”

“Yeah, you’re ‘Pregnant Avenger’ now,” John quips, earning himself a warning glare from Bucky.

“And now there’s a huge space crisis and no one’s telling us about it.”

You feel your nerves worsen at the mention of the incoming threat. The world has been off balance in a recent change of events, and though you don’t know what exactly it is, you know a threat is coming. You only have one month left until Brooklyn is born, but it seems you won’t be able to spend your last month of pregnancy at home like you’d initially hoped. Bucky tries to refrain from overwhelming you to keep your mind at ease, but he can only hide so much from you.

As Yelena speaks into her control pad to request a full threat analysis, Alexei proudly walks into the room with a new ensemble that has everyone’s heads turning in bewilderment.

“Hello, team,” he greets while boasting his new suit. “I heard about Sam Wilson. He’s dumb litigious man, but I am smart. I’m smart man, and I have smart solve.”

You watch in bemusement as he gestures to the logo on his new jumpsuit and sounds out the new spelling change of ‘Avengerz.’

“Avengers with a ‘Z.’ There is no copyright.”

“No,” Yelena immediately protests, clearly not up to entertaining her father’s antics.

“Nonsense. This suit, it is soft like baby seal. I have one for you, and you,” he says while looking from Yelena to Bucky. “Avengerz suits for everyone! I even got one for little Alexis.”

“Alexei, we’ve been over this,” you remind him gently, “her name isn’t Alexis.”

“There is still time to change mind,” he reminds you with a dismissive wave of his hand.

You let out a quiet laugh of disbelief and sneak a glance at your husband who very clearly seems fed up with this entire debacle. You should have already been on your way to the cottage by now, and instead you were here mindlessly bickering over issues that seemed trivial when compared to your upcoming due date.

“Satellite image populating,” your computer generated assistant announces while producing a visual on the screen. “Extra dimensional ship entering atmosphere.”

“Extra dimensional? What does that mean?” Alexei murmurs as your group moves closer to the screen.

“It means it’s not from here,” you answer absently, nervously grasping onto Bucky’s bicep as you get a closer look at the ship. A blue number four is etched into the side of the strange looking ship, and you watch as it grows closer to landing on earth.

“It’s a cool ship,” John notes with a meager shrug, trying to alleviate some of the tension in the room.

“So much for maternity leave,” you sigh in a weak attempt to make a joke. Bucky shifts his tense gaze towards you before slowly lowering it to your protruding stomach, his mind reeling with all of the potential dangers you could soon be facing.

Sensing his panic, you carefully take hold of his hand in your own and tightly intertwine your fingers together to bring him back to the present. Your touch grounds him, reminds him that as of now you and Brooklyn are safe beside him, and he thanks you by wordlessly giving your hand a squeeze.

You have no idea what is to come or how your team will fare in the face of this new adversity, but you know that you’ll overcome whatever you need to in order to protect your new family.

“No matter what happens, we stay together,” you tell him firmly with no room for argument. You expect him to fight you on it, to insist you go home and keep yourself far away from the danger, but instead, he raises your hand to his lips and presses a kiss to your knuckles before offering you a single nod that melts away all of your trepidations.

“Together.”

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Babylon The Great Series Masterlist

Read on A03! - Timeline for the Homies

Main Masterlist - Dean Masterlist

Rating/Warnings: 18+ for canon-typical violence, swearing, severe mental health issues, self-harm and suicidal ideation, mentions of rape/non-con, and sexual content.

Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, eventual happy ending.

Series Summary

There's something wrong with you that's not wrong with other people. You're a hunter, and a damn good one, but you might be a monster.

There might be something in you that needs to be put down. Something broken that can't be fixed.

It's why you've had one rule your whole life. The only thing your father has ever made clear is that, no matter what, you need to stay away from John Winchester. He can't even know you exist, or he'll kill you and never blink.

And when your paths cross a hunt, you should've run, but you didn't. You couldn't. Because you looked at Dean Winchester, and something changed inside of you. Something called you to him, and you can't figure out what it was, but you know it's strong. And you know that, whatever Dean's doing to you, you don't really care to fight it. Things are broken in you, just as much is broken in him, and you fit perfectly together in a way you'll never be able to describe.

But it's more complicated than that, though. The world pulls you and Dean apart again and again.

And you find your way back, again and again.

Author's Note

This story is non-canon compliant rewrite, but primarily plot wise. Think of it as we're cooking with all the same ingredients (i.e lore, characters, setting, and backstory) but with one change (you) that gets us to a drastically different ending.

What the means is that there will be a lot of similar plot points to Supernatural, but the further we go through the story the more it will diverge. I've also take some creative labor with the reader, adding lore that's defiantly not a part of canon, but crucial to this story.

If you have any questions about this, feel free to ask! If not, I hope you enjoy the story!

Chapter List

Chapter 1 - In My Brain and In My Blood Chapter 2 - Under My Skin Chapter 3 - I Get A Little Dizzy Chapter 4 - You Bleed Like Me Chapter 5 - If You Let Me Chapter 6 - All The Noise Chapter 7 - Something I Can See Chapter 8 - Keep Us Far Apart Chapter 9 - Does The Feeling Haunt You Chapter 10 - Look and See Chapter 11 - You Might Drown Chapter 12 - Watch You Work The Room Chapter 13 - You'll Have to Believe It Chapter 14 - Water Is Forever Chapter 15 - Before It Falls Apart Chapter 16 - Try to Catch It Chapter 17 - You Come Back Chapter 18 - You Can Start to Make It Better Chapter 19 - That's Nothing New Chapter 20 - Wait for Me Chapter 21 - If You Want To Survive Chapter 22 - I'd Go Black And Blue Chapter 23 - You've Been Waiting to Break Chapter 24 - Just Hold On Chapter 25 - And It Was Written Chapter 26 - Worth the Fight Chapter 27 - When You Go Chapter 28 - All of This is Temporary Chapter 29 - I'll Be Lonely Chapter 30 - Hold on Tight Chapter 31 - It All Comes Around Chapter 32 - All Out Of Breath Chapter 33 - See The Lightning Chapter 34 - You Need Someone (8/28)

Pslams (In-Series Bonus Chapters)

Can You Hear Me - You sit on the roof of your car. Takes place a month after Chapter 15. I'll Keep On Waiting - Dean watches you, and Jo shares some thoughts. Takes place after Chapter 19. So Go On - Sam Chapter! Takes place after Chapter 20. Spinning Around - You, Dean, and allegedly Sam go to the movies. Takes place between Chapter 19 and Chapter 20. Just Pretend - You and Dean have some dreams. Takes place almost any time after Chapter 20. On My Way - Dean looks at some fruits. Takes place around Chapter 23. Stay This Simple - You and Jo have a girls night. Takes place around Chapter 19. Just Too Soft - Request! You get your period. Takes place a bit before Chapter 27. Never Wanted to Leave - Deleted Scenes from Chapter 27.

Extras From Me

Listen to the Playlist! Memes! More Memes! Even more memes! Help I can't stop making memes. MORE! MEMES!

Stuff By You Guys!!! (Art, Memes, and Anything more)

Meme Art 1, and 2, by @dammbi Dean Art by @dammbi Memes 1, and 2, by @dammbi Soul Art by @youdontknowe Princess Art by @youdontknowe Language Art by @imnotmentallyst4ble Princess Moodboard by @deans-yn Playlist by @imnotmentallyst4ble Series Moodboard by @dammbi Journal Spread by @imnotmentallyst4ble Memes by @brtodd Princess and Dean Art by @youdontknowe Princess Marilyn Monroe Art by @youdontknowe Princess Art by @youdontknowe Knife and Blade Art by @youdontknowe Text Memes by @let-it-sn0o0ow Memes, and bonus meme, by @let-it-sn0o0ow Incorrect Quotes by @dammbi The Blade Prop by @imnotmentallyst4ble Chapter 29: Dean and Sam drabble by @thebitchandjerkwinchesters Dean's Camera Roll by @thebitchandjerkwinchesters Princess's Camera Roll by @thebitchandjerkwinchesters Dean's Letters by @thebitchandjerkwinchesters Memes 1, and 2, and 3, and 4, and 5, and 6, by @thebitchandjerkwinchesters Princess Art by @imnotmentallyst4ble Dean Art by @thebitchandjerkwinchesters Text Memes by @dammbi Cookie Meme by @dammbi Nails and Memes by @theoneandonlyplaylistanon Babylon Trailer by @youaremycity

[atalana]

also im sure some people have noticed already, but since i haven't seen anything on tumblr about it yet, for people who haven't - kris has 20hp in the light world and so far that bar has pretty much always been full

in chapter four though, after kris beats the soul up, that's no longer the case!

their brief smacking it with the hockey stick/guitar in the normal route drops your health to 18. their vicious kicking the shit out of the soul in the snowgrave continuation drops it to 10. (it drops even further by the end of the chapter in a way that might have something to do with how much health you ended the titan battle with, but im gonna do a couple more ch4 playthroughs and see if i can nail down exactly what the deal with that is, and if it means that the titan can reach across worlds and damage kris' soul in a way no other dark world enemy has been able to so far)

either way, the first thing that happens when they try to move after putting the soul back in, is they stumble and fall and it takes a few seconds for them to even try and get back up. (it looks like they're tripping over the object they threw from certain angles in the normal route, but no this happens no matter how clear their path is)

regardless of whether or not it's their original soul, it is now intrinsic to their life force. any amount of damage done to the soul, even when outside their body, will hurt kris in equal amounts, and they've been doing this long enough they have to know that!

in the normal route that speaks to their level of dedication to whatever their end goal is here, that they will hurt themselves quite significantly to keep susie from finding that note on the guitar (though it's in keeping with chara being one of their two undertale parallels)

but in snowgrave pt 2. god. it speaks to how much they hate us. that route in ch4 reveals that the first thing soulless kris did at the end of ch2 wasn't creating the fountain - there was an unseen timeskip. the first thing soulless kris did after snowgrave was to sneak over to noelle's house, remove the thorn ring (that was controlling her and giving her the ability to kill with ice magic), tell her everything was gonna be okay, but that she should never mention any of this to anyone (because if she said it around kris in the future then the soul would hear)

and kris' worst fears came true. she does bring it up, because she doesn't realise kris is also included in "anyone". and to stay on the snowgrave route, like in ch2, you have to do the worst thing possible, which is manually take control of kris back (this is happening while you're the untethered soul, but kris is distracted enough you can rejoin their body without them fighting you off - but you can see their sprite shaking afterwards as they try to resist what you're about to do), confirm for noelle that all of her dream was real, tell her she's going to get stronger, and force the thorn ring back on her (at which point the screen goes black with red lines like shattered glass, and the segment in noelle's house ends there, so we don't know the full consequences of that yet)

i did talk in a previous post about the shadow mantle boss saying that kris enjoyed the snowgrave route, they just didn't want to admit it to themselves and being possessed by the player gave them a convenient excuse. but after playing this route i no longer think that's even a remote possibility.

because kris wasn't trying to hide or prevent anything by beating the soul up this time. this was pure revenge and disgust over what we did to their friend. and even knowing that whatever damage they did was also going to be done to them, they were willing to beat it within an inch of its life. your vision is blurring the entire time, kris loses half their health from this, they only stopped because asgore nearly caught them in the act. and the burning question on my mind is how much further were they willing to go? if no one interrupted, would they have stopped at all?

(and yeah the takeaway here is that going forward, kris is hurt, in more ways than ralsei or susie can heal. and also do not ever underestimate their love for noelle)

[gyuubear]

Let Me Prove Myself to You

Kai thinks you won’t be able to handle him, so you beg for a chance to prove yourself

Pairing: dom!Kai x gf!reader

Warnings: mean dom!Kai, virgin!reader, bondage, orgasm control/denial, corruption kink, fingering, pussy spanking, dacryphilia, blow job/face fucking, slight spit kink, hair pulling, choking, breast/nipple play, name calling/pet names, degradation, anything else I missed, MDNI

A/N: First Kai fic!!! I’m kinda nervous to post this bc I can’t tell if it’s good or not, but I hope you guys enjoy it!! 🫶

Wc: 5k

Damn

Kai can’t take his eyes off your ass as he walks you to your apartment. He purposely walks a few steps behind so you don’t notice him staring. It’s not his fault though, how can he not when your ass just looks so good in that skirt?

Begrudgingly, he averts his eyes, feeling a bit guilty for thinking of his sweet innocent girlfriend in such a way. You aren’t exactly naive, but you have way less experience than Kai and he doesn’t want to expose you to such obscene things.

You’ve been dating for only a few weeks now, although you’ve been pining for each other for much longer, and as much as Kai wants to ravage his cute girlfriend, he feels guilty for his dirty thoughts. You’re so trusting and sweet, he feels bad subjecting you to his nasty fantasies. He also doesn’t want you to feel forced; a sweet thing like you will agree to anything he says with little persuasion.

As you guys enter your apartment and get settled in, you suggest getting started on your homework. A sudden laugh from Kai puts a pout on your face.

“If we get our assignments out of the way we can relax sooner!”

In your room the two of you sit down at the study table where you pull out your pencils and notebooks, but Kai leans back in the chair with his arms folded behind his head. From your peripheral vision you notice his shirt lift up. You try your hardest to ignore that smooth patch of skin, ignoring the way it makes your body tingle. God, you wanna fuck him so bad. If only he’d stop treating you like glass.

Aside from a few pecks, some heated make outs, and lingering hands, Huening never takes it farther, he claims that you’re just “not ready yet”. But the patience in you has run out. Slowly, gathering whatever confidence you can, you get up and sit down on his lap. A startled Kai looks up at you, a blush seeping over his skin. It’s not often his sweet angel is this bold. Your lips meet his in a soft kiss. “Kai” you whine, “need you”. His hands find your hips as he quickly gives in, kissing your lips gently. You guys make out for a while, sucking each other's plush lips as you slowly grind down on him.

His lips are so soft, like jelly, and his hands slide down your back making your heart stutter. He's so pretty and hot and he makes you feel like putty and god you just wanna- out of nowhere he pulls away. You’re sitting there dazed and breathing heavily as Kai squeezes your hips in warning, “I think that’s enough”. This usually means he’s gonna make some lame excuse to go home, but you know very well that when he gets home he’s gonna deal with his boner privately. You huff in annoyance. Why can’t he just use his girlfriend who’s so eager for him?

“Kai. Please.” , Summoning all your courage you mumble, “I wanna have sex”.

He sucks in a breath at that, where’s all this boldness coming from? Little does he know you’ve had enough of the beating around the bush. You need him to stuff your pussy already.

“B-but your not-

“Ready yet” you finish his sentence with a dramatic eye roll. “That's what you think but I’m telling you I am. Why do you say things like that anyways? Do you just not wanna be with me?”

He looks at your furrowed eyebrows, the pleading eyes and fights the urge to fuck you raw right then and there. You make it so hard for him to use his head. “No! No that’s not it. I love you and of course I wanna be with you it’s just-” he breaks off with a frustrated sigh, and the blush comes back to his cheeks, finding it a little embarrassing to admit…. “I…. I just don’t think you can handle me”. He swings his head back to stare at the ceiling, anything to avoid your gaze.

You’re not stupid. You know what people say about him; the rumors that he’s a monster in bed. That he’s cute and sweet on the surface but there’s a mean wildness that he hides. Even his own friends joke about it in front of you. Saying stuff like “good luck”, but you don’t mind these things. If anything, these rumors about Kai excite you, you crave it, even.

“I can handle it!” You insist. Kai brings his head back to look you in the eyes, “I don’t think you understand what I’m trying to say.”

“No, I don't think you understand what I’m trying to say. You think I don’t know anything but I’m not dumb!” Before you say more his hand comes up to grab you by the jaw. “I don’t think you’re dumb but you’re a fucking virgin for godsake. Knowing about something and experiencing it are two different things. You have no idea what you’re actually getting yourself into, and I don't want to corrupt you.”

The intensity and warning in his eyes makes you squirm in his lap. All that kissing plus this glimpse into the real Kai making your pussy wet. Biting your lip, you fight to keep composure.

“I know exactly what I’m getting myself into! I'm also not as innocent as you think I am! You can’t make decisions for me, especially when you won’t even let me prove myself to you. At least give me a chance to show you that I can handle it.”

At this point you’re still heaving, hands clinging to his broad shoulders as you study his face. The intensity in his eyes is still there and it’s doing nothing to relieve the ache in your underwear. His hands hang off the arm rest but your body tingles in the places you wish his hands were instead.

Kai really wants to say no, he means what he said about knowing about something being different than actually doing it. But fuck, his adorable little girlfriend is so eager and ready for him, maybe he should give it a try? And to make matters worse, you’re sitting right on his dick, it’s really clouding up his brain.

He finally speaks after a minute, “you really wanna do this?”

You almost jump out of your skin, “Yes! I do! I promise I can do it!!”

Huening chews his lip in contemplation. “Fine”, he grabs you by the jaw again, “but if we’re gonna do this you have to be able to take everything I give you- and I mean everything- without complaining. And if you can't do it then that’s that.”

You scoff at his threat, “What do you mean by that? We just won’t ever have sex?”

“No, we will. But it’ll be the most boring vanilla sex.” His hands trails down your neck, nails digging into soft flesh. “I don’t mind locking up a part of myself if it means you’ll be happy and safe.”

“Well that’s not gonna happen”, you retort, “cuz I’m gonna prove it to you”.

And as much as he wants to argue, he can’t help being proud at your insistence.

“On your knees”

“H-huh?”, You sputter. The sudden command and change in tone startling. But he only raises a taunting eyebrow, smirking as he says, “already too much for you?”

“N-no!” You scrambled to get on your knees before him, hands neatly placed on your knees, watching as he calmly unzips his jeans. It’s like he flipped a switch; the cute and sweet Kai gone. Your already damp underwear sticking uncomfortably to your pussy. Finally, you get to meet the part of Kai that he’s been hiding from you.

He pulls his dick out, giving it a few pumps and all you can do is stare. You’ve never actually seen his dick before…and now it’s right in front of your face….and…he's big. A little too late to realize that but damn.

“Go ahead” he urges.

As embarrassing as it is, you don’t actually know what you’re doing. But you have been watching videos so you think back to what you’ve learned and reach for Kai. You tentatively wrap a hand around him, biting your lips at the way Kai groans.

You try your hardest to recall what you learned from all those porn videos; first smearing the precum leaking from his tip with your thumb, then giving his tip a soft kiss before going in for a lick.

“Fuck, where’d you learn that?” As far as Huening was aware all you know how to do was kiss. His head spins, maybe you really do know more than you let on.

“I’ve been watching videos.” You chirp excitedly, “I wanna make you feel good!” When his dick is wet enough you slowly ease down, taking as much of it as you can, but you only get about half way before you’re gagging and coughing and have to pull away.

Kai slides his fingers into your hair- he doesn’t do anything at first- just lightly massaging your scalp. “Fuck, baby, you’re so sweet. Almost makes me feel bad for what I’m about to do to you.” Before you can respond he shoves you back down on his cock, laughing at the way you struggle. He pulls you up by your hair and allows you to take a breath. His big hand shoves your right back down, this time he thrust into your mouth a few times. When he brings you back up you’re gasping for air with tears falling from your eyes.

“Too much?” He taunts. But as he leans forward his other hand comes to wipe the tears away. The hungry look on his face morphs into one of sincerity and love as he says, “just tell me to stop and I will.”

But you won’t. You’d be out of your mind to not want this. Yeah, it’s a little more than you were expecting but, shit, it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. You’re hot as fuck boyfriend, sculpted to perfection by the universe, using you in the best way possible. If only he could see how wet your pussy is right now.

You assure Kai you’re fine and get back to work, giving kitten licks here and there while you pump the base. “What am I gonna do with you?” Kai moans. He throws his head back, staring at the ceiling. You don't realize it but his dirty fantasies are coming to life before him, his angel girlfriend on her knees before him, begging to be used like a toy, so eager to please and be ruined.

He leans forwards again and pulls you off his dick. “Open.” He orders. You’re a little dazed from the cock in front of you but you manage to part your lips. He spits in your mouth and brings your right back to his dick, relishing in the way you gag. A few more thrusts and he pulls you off for good, pulling his pants up and ordering you to get in the bed.

From your spot on the bed you observe your boyfriend rummaging through your closet. He seems to be going through the tool box kept behind your clothes for emergencies. The longer you wait the more your insides twist around each other; what could he possibly be looking for? The realization hits that you don’t actually know what he’s gonna do. The rumors you've heard were all vague, never providing details regarding what Kai’s capable of, and you’ve never thought farther than just convincing him to have sex.

What’s he gonna do to you?

Your pussy throbs at the thought, the dainty pink underwear you're wearing is soaked in your wetness. And the lack of attention to that area is making you fidgety. Kai finally finds what he's looking for, but when he makes his way to the bed your heart stutters in your chest and the butterflies in your tummy go wild. As much as you trust Kai, you gulp at the various pieces of rope in his hands. "What's that for?" You ask tentatively. So desperate for attention you don't know how much more of the teasing and games you can take, but you can't let Kai discover how close you are to breaking.

"I think you know what it's for." Kai smirks. He sits down beside you and leisurely ties your limbs to the bedposts. Despite the mean look in his eyes, Kai ensures the ropes aren't too tight; it makes your heart flutter...it also makes something else flutter. Especially when Kai places himself between your knees and drags a finger over your underwear underneath your skirt. The contact makes you whine, so soft and barely there.

"Been wanting to do this for so long", he murmurs. Pushing your underwear aside he runs his finger through your folds, collecting your wetness on his fingers. He smears it over lips and watches with a predatory gaze as you instinctively lick it all up.

"The things I wanna do to you.."

You whimper at his words, the way he said them…. you’re suddenly afraid that maybe you won't be able to handle what he has planned for you. He slips his finger into your gummy walls and both of you moan at the feeling.

“So wet, just for me.” The slow drag back and forth of his finger makes you writhe against your sheets. You tug at the ropes in an effort to cope with this new feeling, and the tugging provides a nice contrast to the feeling between your legs. Your whimpers fill the room along with Kai’s hums of approval. “My pretty baby..” he coos, his other hand gripping your thigh, “no one’s ever touched you here before, hm?”

“No…” you manage a whisper. His finger continues to curve inside you deliciously, occasionally brushing against that spot that makes you see stars.

The whines slipping from your mouth become more and more agitated and needy. It feels like falling, like you’re losing control over your body. Your wrists and ankle are red now from all the pulling and squirming you’re doing.

But Kai only laughs, “pathetic. Falling apart over just one finger. Fucking slut.”

You gasp at that word, slut, he’s never used names like that. More wetness leaks from your pussy, coating Kai’s other fingers. He pulls out of your hole, earning another whine from you, and shoves three fingers into your mouth. As you suck and lick them he shoves them farther down your throat, making you cough and choke. He takes his hand away, this time bringing them down to slap your soaked and sensitive pussy. You jerk froward with a yelp, the ropes digging painfully against your skin.

His hand comes down to give 1, 2, 3 more slaps, leading you to squeal and sob while a tear slips from your eye at the overwhelming sensation.

“Kai!”

“Too much?” He feigns concern, bringing the hand covered in your wetness to massage your thigh, smearing your mess all over the skin there.

You force yourself to take a breath, “No.”

If you’re being honest it is a little too much to take in all at once, however, you can’t back out now. You made such a fuss about it earlier, you'd never hear the end of it from Kai if you didn't succeed.

Kai pulls up your top and palms your boobs through your bra. The new sensation makes you groan; he's never touched you like this before, usually so polite and careful. You need to prove to him you can take everything so he'll always touch you like this. Shoving your bra down he grabs a boob in one hand as he licks and sucks the other one. A gasp falls from your mouth at the sensation; the way his teeth graze your nipple and the way he moves his mouth like a starved man amplifies the ache between your legs.

Simultaneously, he pinches your other nipple and without warning shoves two fingers back into you, pumping them rapidly, giving you no time to adjust.

"Kai!" Your scream is music to his ears. Your helpless body squirms beneath him as his fingers pump in and out of your pussy without mercy.

You lay there taking it, and wail, "I'm gonna cum!"

"No."

Your heart drops hearing that word, "What do you mean no?" His fingers ram so deliciously in and out of you. It's hard to focus on his words. Maybe you heard him wrong?

"W-what do you mean?"

“What, so fucked out you can’t follow a simple order? I mean no, you can’t cum.” His words drip in malice, seeping into your hazy brain and causing the walls of your pussy to clench around his fingers. He senses you dropping your resolve, shoving his fingers even faster, just to torture you some more. He brings his lips back to your nipple, humming as you wince when he nips and licks.

“Cum and you lose; and I’ll know that you can’t handle me.”

The sob that gets goes straight to his dick. He pulls away from your boobs and sits back on his knees to look at your worn out figure, his fingers still pumping in you. Ropes pulled taught as you fight your orgasm, tears running down your neck, pretty moans, rosy cheeks and desperate eyes. Such a pretty sight.

You’re doing better than Huening Kai expected, he expected you to give up at the “no cumming” part. His smirk grows as he plans all the dirty thoughts he’s gonna bring to life if you actually win this thing, he hasn’t even scratched the surface yet. But to focus on the present, he decides you’ve suffered enough. “You wanna cum, princess?” You nod enthusiastically, “Please!” Your thighs shake with tension, trying to keep it together a little longer and ignoring the way Kai’s laugh travels down your spine.

“Eager whore. Go ahead, cum.”

Loud pornographic moans pour from your throat as Kai’s fingers hit that perfect spot and your orgasm finally washes over you. Your body jerks and spasms as the waves engulf you, tight ropes digging into your skin, the only thing keeping you grounded- well, that and Kai’s hands on you.

Coming down from your high, you’re left a whimpering mess. The sight of you is a wet dream that Kai never wants to wake up from. He lets out a hum of approval while massaging your thighs, “such a pretty princess, did so well.” You whimper at his praise, your hole fluttering at the wicked look on his face.

“Now I just need you to cum two more times for me.” He snickers.

“What?!” You must have heard him wrong... The red marks on your limbs burn. Your pussy is red too, and swollen just like your nipples. “Cum two more times? But I-i can’t- I-” you cut yourself off, huffing and puffing at your helplessness.

You bite your lip when you realize what you almost said.

"Can't what?” Kai taunts with a smug smile, “Can't take it? Can’t handle it? Can't do anything but lay there all fucked out and dumb.” Your lips quiver against your will as you attempt to defend yourself, “N-no, I can-”. But he cuts you off, “What a cute, pathetic whore, acting like you still have choice. You will take everything I give you, it’s too late to back out now.” Goosebumps break out over your skin and you search for your sweet Kai behind the wicked haze in his eyes, but you realize it doesn't matter; he's your Kai, and you trust him completely.

His fingers trail down your thigh and over your folds, you gasp when they brush your sensitive bud. Gently, he pushes down, knowing damn well it’s gonna overstimulate you, and relishes at the way you whine. After torturing you some more, he scoops up your cum with his fingers and fucks it back into your hot pussy. He massages your slick walls, taking his time exploring your pussy for the second time.

He lowers himself over you again, this time planting a soft kiss on your lips and another on your tear-stained cheek, a stark contrast to the sinful things he was doing earlier. The feeling doesn’t last long however, because he brings his other hand back to roughly squeeze your boobs. His lips, deceivingly sweet, make their way down to harshly nip and suck the delicate skin of your neck. Fresh tears fall down your face at the overstimulation.

You sniffle, trying your best to stifle a whine, “K-Kai..”. But he simply bites harder on your neck, smiling against your skin. As his fingers find a steady rhythm you feel your second orgasm approaching, much faster this time. “Kai! I’m gonna cum again!” He continues kissing your skin like he can’t even hear you. The only clue of acknowledgement is in how rough he gets; recklessly sucking hickies that are sure to leave a mark, kneading your breasts, pinching your nipple until you cry out.

“Baby!” You scream out urgently as your back arches. Kai groans into your skin, not bothering to lift his head, “So loud, you want the whole apartment building to know what a slut you are?”

“Kai, please, I’m gonna cum I-i- can’t-” take it anymore… the words almost slip past your lips again in your exertion. You gnaw on your lips, praying he didn’t notice, but unfortunately for you, he does.

“What was that, princess?” He taunts, “Wanna say it again?”

“N-no.” You sob. As Huening continues pumping his fingers in you he licks a hot tear streaming down your neck. The tension in your thighs makes them tremble, your whole body is on fire.

“You wanna cum?” He asks against your neck.

You cry out a “Yes!”, not caring how desperate and eager you sound.

Kai grins, “Then beg for it. Convince me that you deserve to cum."

You don’t need much encouragement from him; the pleas falling readily from your quivering lips. If Kai tried to stop you from cumming again you were gonna beg for mercy anyways.

"Please, Kai!", you shriek, "Let me c-cum, please, I've been so good! I took everything without complaining!"

He pretends to give it some thought. "Mm, not good enough." He says simply. So simply, like he's reading a random sentence, like he's not actively ruining you. "No! Please, baby! I-i really need this, I'm gonna die if you don't let me cum. I've been such a good girl-" Your voice cracks at the end as you sob, shutting your eyes tight as you force yourself not to feel his fingers hitting that magical spot. "Such a good girl", you repeat desperately, "And all for you, only for you". This seems to make Kai's ears perk up. "All for me?", He coos, "Such a clever whore, you know just what to say to get what you want, hm?"

You're so focused on not cumming but you force yourself to respond, "N-no, Kai, I m-mean it". "Yeah, baby?", he taunts, "You poor thing. Go on, cum for me."

You finally give in to your orgasm with a groan, each wave hitting you harder than the last. The bliss is almost blinding as your eyes roll back and your wet, hot pussy flutters around Kai's fingers. To your shock, Huening Kai gives you gentle kisses all over your chest, his hand that was roughly palming your boobs now wiping the tears from your cheek. He even eases the pace of his fingers in your cunt, helping you ride out your high.

But just as you start to relax, Kai brings his hand down to slap your cunt again. "Kai!" The shriek slips right past your lips in surprise and you fight to keep your body still, but you're overstimulated and your body completely drained.

"P-please..."

Kai raises his eyebrows mockingly, wondering if you're finally gonna admit defeat. He pouts as he asks coyly, "Something wrong? Want me to stop?" He doesn't even wait for your reply as he slaps you again.

You tremble underneath him, pretending you can't hear the embarrassing squelching sound when his hand meets your dripping pussy. His touch feels so good though, you need him inside you. "Please.." You sniffle, "I-i need you."

"Aw, my pretty baby needs me? What do you need me to do?" His fingers trail across your clit, soft brushes that make you lose your mind. His tone drips in false concern, you can see it in the way his eyes narrow as he watches you. Your mouth goes dry. Something about his eyes seem different, as if a new fire sparked in them, a fire different from what was burning before.

He watches you carefully, noticing the change in your demeanor....noticing the fear on your face. He leans down to press his plush lips to your neck to hide his growing smirk. When he comes back up his clean hand slowly wraps around your neck as his other hand continues toying with your red and swollen pussy. Kai squeezes your neck just enough to see the alarm spread through your features.

A dear in headlights, he thinks fondly.

He gives another squeeze, "I asked a question, baby. I thought you had more manners than this, tch."

"I-...I need y-" You break off with a shaky breath as he applies more pressure to your throat. Your head spins and you give up with a quiet whine.

It's true that there's a new fire burning in Kai. Watching you squirm and whine and fall apart on his fingers has him losing his mind. All he can think about is filling you up with his dick, he's waited so long for this moment.

He quickly pulls away to untie the ropes, he doesn't want you tied up for your first time.

When the ropes are finally gone he searches his wallet for a condom and then joins you back on the bed. Leaning down, pressing all his weight into you, he asks, "Are you sure you wanna do this?" You let out a broken sob at his question, "Yes. I need you to fuck me so bad."

He quickly gets rid of his shirt and pulls his pants down just enough to roll on the condom. Since your hands are no longer bound you can finally touch the smooth skin along his body. You decide to wrap your hands around his biceps, feeling the way his muscles tense. You both moan when he rubs his dick up and down your soaked pussy.

"Fuck", he curses. As he slowly nudges his tip farther, more curses fall from his pretty lips. You whimper and whine, throwing your head against the pillows as his dick stretches you open, the pain hurts so good. Your nails dig into his skin as he finally bottoms out with a low groan. "Pretty baby", he sighs as his head drops to your shoulder, "so tight for me".

It takes everything in him to be still as he waits for you to get accustomed to his size. When you finally tell him to go on he bites the skin at the base of your neck as he slowly thrusts in and out. "Kai!" You moan. As your back arches he slips his arm underneath, keeping your tummies pressed closely. His other hand roughly grabs under your thigh.

He moans in your ear, going crazy from how your pussy clenches around him, "Gonna fuck you.. 'til you can't walk". Little by little his hips start rocking into you faster as he gives into his darkest desires. The sounds you're making aren't helping; loud high pitched screams that you don't even try to stifle. The neighbors are gonna be sick of you two.

"Kai, p-please faster!" you beg, already fucked out of your mind. The way is dick is pumping in and out of you is making you see stars. Kai on the other hand needs no encouragement, he quickens his pace, pounding into you until you're a crying sobbing mess.

He pulls away from your neck to look at your fucked out state, "Such a good slut", he can't control the groan he lets out. He watches your boobs bounce around and the way you cling to him, his hips erratically slamming against yours. He had planned on torturing you some more, to make a desperate, ruined whore out of you but right now he's so drunk off you he can't even think straight. There's always next time, he decides.

"Kai I'm gonna cum!" You sob. A particular rough thrust makes you shriek, and your walls tighten around him. This time he doesn't try to stop you, "Me too, baby. Cum with me."

After a few sloppy thrusts your orgasms hit you at the same time, and both of you are a mess as you unravel at the feeling. Kai finds your lips and kisses you lovingly as you ride out your orgasms together.

When the high finally subsides, you’re still heaving, trying to recover. He gives you one final kiss before he flops down beside you. And despite your fatigue and the fact that you can hardly feel your legs, you excitedly roll over to his side, "See?! I told you I could handle it!!!"

He laughs at that, "Yeah, barely." You're so giddy with excitement you don't even mind his teasing. You just roll your eyes and go to cuddle him. 

——

[cheeseceli]

Boyfriend Namjoon

Pairing: Kim Namjoon × gn!reader (established relationship)

Genre: fluff, headcanons

Request: Boyfriend namjoon

Warnings: mentions of food, he's an idol, mentions of arguments

A/n: apparently Tumblr stopped tagging everything as mature content? That's a win for us!! | Daily click

Hobi ver. | Namjoon ver. | Jimin ver. | Taehyung ver. | Jungkook ver.

Start off by saying that if you are on uni or studying something or idk

You are SO lucky

He's so campus boyfriend material

Except he doesn't even need to be on campus

Whatever the topic is, he can help you study

I love when smart people get together

Late night talks go crazy with this one

You guys can pull a whole all nighter by being philosophical or getting vulnerable with each other

Or maybe just saying nonsense

Either way, it's always a pleasure to stay all night with him

Even if you're both tired by the time the sun comes up

And that also happens when he's on tour

It doesn't matter if it's 2 in the morning where he's at, if you're able to call him, he's enjoying those moments

He's a yearner btw

So he looks at you like you are spring itself

You swear you see his eyes shine whenever you come into the room

Writes a WHOLE album about you

And actually releases it

"People are theorising that Namjoon of BTS might be in a relationship because of that and that and idk what else"

Well

He's tryna confirm those rumours

Not even on purpose

He just loves you so much that he needs to talk about you, even if it's through lyrics, or if the entire world is listening

Really likes to go out on spontaneous dates

But he also likes to plan a lot of them

So maybe museums, parks, picnics or maybe even trips

He likes to make sure you'll enjoy the time spent with him

Even though you'd be happy to just lay down on the couch with him and do nothing all day

Likes to learn everything you might want or need

Learns how to take care of your hair/skin so he can help you when you're too tired to do it yourself

Really really tried to make your favourite dish, even though the first tries failed miserably

He's getting better ok

Obviously he is very determined

His determination also applies to the relationship

So he will make it work

It doesn't matter if he is super famous, if he needs to leave for military or for a tour, if the company or the media is against this

He doesn't care about no one's opinion on this relationship besides yours

So he is very determined about you

That also goes for fights

It's natural to have arguments in a relationship

But he will never let that affect you too much

He loves you too much to lose you because of a stupid mistake or a miscommunication

Also

Whenever he stars to spiral into his own mind, gets stressed or anything

He calls you

You have this crazy ability to ground him

So don't be surprised when he gets stuck on the studio and suddenly calls you, just wanting to hear your voice

But he is also always there for you

We know that guy is a perfect listener and even better adviser

So he is there for you

In your highs and specially in your lows

Sorry but I hope you're not too attached no anything material

Because there's a chance some of your things will get broken 💔

He is clumsy by accident 😭

Won't try to show it too much but kind of lives for your praise

If you compliment him he will get a bit shy

But he is hiding the blush creeping up his neck with all his strength

Overall he is a very sweet boyfriend that kind of wants to stay with you for his entire life

He found peace in you, and he is cherishing you forever

Masterlist | you'll probably like: Espresso

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @butnotmontana @sheraayasherrecs @queenofdumbfuckery @lezleeferguson-120

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto | images 1, 2 and 3

[rose-gold-bullet]

[𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰] - Giyuu Tomioka x Reader

Summary: You get injured while fighting a demon and Giyuu helps to bring you back to health.

warnings: none aside from the injury the reader endures and maybe a gross amount of fluff

"It hurts."

"I know." Giyuu spoke softer than usual in an attempt to calm you down as he took off his haori to create a makeshift bandage.

You struggled to maintain your breathing technique as you bled out on the forest floor. The pain you felt in your dominant arm was horrid, but it was nothing compared to shame you felt as you were sloppily nursed back to stability by your companion for the mission you were assigned. You were a member of the Hashira after all; how could you let yourself be torn down in battle by such a low level Kizuki? You were able to land the final blow, but not without substantial damage to your own body.

If you wanted to be honest with yourself, you knew exactly what impeded your typically flawless movements; you were distracted by him. The same man frantically wrapping his haori around your wound in a subpar attempt to stop the blood loss.

You couldn't help it; as cliche as it sounds, you felt like his eyes were designed to get lost in.

"Can you stand?" His voice pulled you from your thoughts.

"I hope so. Can you help me up?" Your response was shaky and barely loud enough to be heard.

He slowly stood and pulled you up with him. You tried as hard as you could to steady yourself once he let go, but all the motivation in the world couldn't stop your legs from buckling. You gasped as you shut your eyes and waited for the harsh impact with the cold ground.

Unsurprisingly, such impact never came.

"Thanks." You muttered, trying to hide your embarrassment as you were being carried bridal style through the forest and soon onto a dirt road.

'As if I couldn't appear any more pathetic...' your brain assaulted itself with more negative assumptions than ever before, and you dug your face into Giyuu's chest to hide the upset expression you could feel plaguing your usually neutral features.

The walk to the Butterfly Estate was a bit of a long one, but it was necessary for a Pillar to receive the best care for mangled limbs.

Much of the said trek was made in silence.

After some time, you shifted your body so you could watch your surroundings. If it weren't for the trail of blood you were leaving with every step the visibly concerned man took, it'd be a perfect night.

"Giyuu, isn't it lovely out tonight?" You finally spoke.

"You're sounding dangerously similar to Shinobu. I have more important things to worry about, as do you."

A breathy laugh escaped your lips. You could tell your own injury was making you a bit delirious.

"You needn't be so serious. We both know I'll recover," you took a ragged breath, "I know you're a Pillar, but we're both allowed to enjoy life sometimes." You explained. As expected, there was no response.

You looked up at the night sky before taking another shaky breath, "You remind me of the moon."

"What?"

"Though, it's not nearly as handsome as you are." You spilled. You were too exhausted to care about whatever his response may be, and too inattentive to notice the slight blush that crept onto his face.

"I'll be sure to have the caretakers at the estate check for a concussion."

Once again, silence filled the open dirt road you were now following.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused tonight. I should know to make myself more useful."

"You were more tha-"

"I think I'm going to fall asleep. Is that alright?" You intentionally cut him off as you knew you weren't strong enough for that sort of conversation. You glanced up at his face and waited for a reply.

He hesitantly nodded, "I'll wake you up if your breathing gets to slow. Dying isn't an opt-" Once again, He was cut off. This time, by the gentle snores escaping your lips. He sighed, exasperated, but was glad you were at least safe for now. With that peace of mind, he allowed the guilt he was struggling to carry lessen in weight ever so slightly.

'As if I couldn't appear any more useless.' He thought as he replayed the moment you cried out in pain over and over in his mind, wincing at every opportunity where he had the power to change the course of the fight but couldn't think fast enough in the moment.

---

You awoke in a bed you recognized almost immediately. You were one of the more frequent visitors at the Butterfly Estate, not because you were weaker but because it wasn't unheard of for you to throw yourself in front of enemy attacks aimed at others (most often protecting Giyuu).

"Oh good, you're awake! We'll let Mr. Tomioka know immediately." Three girls stood at the foot of your bed with a polite smile pasted on their faces.

"Wait- What are my injuries?"

"A severe laceration in your (dominant) arm as well as a fractured humerus and 2 broken ribs. Don't worry, Aoi took the necessary measures and you should make a complete recovery in around 3 weeks."

"Why would you let Giyuu know I woke up?"

"He's always the most concerned, miss! This time, he tried to sit in your room as you slept so he'd be there when you came to." One girl spoke up and they laughed in unison after. With that, they placed water and what you assumed to be pain medicine on your nightstand and left the room.

You laid completely still for a few minutes longer, piecing together the events before you blacked out. You felt your face heat up as you recalled the short exchange you had with Giyuu as he carried you to safety, and silently prayed he forgot about it.

Your thoughts were cut short by rapid footsteps increasing in volume from down the hall. Seconds later, there was a quiet knock at your door.

"Come in." Your voice was still weak, but it was a massive improvement in comparison to the night of the injury. The door slid open to reveal your evidently dejected friend. "Why are you still upset? The residents said I'd make a full recovery and the mission was successf-"

"I'm sorry." It was Giyuu's turn to speak over you. He hesitantly walked towards your bed and kneeled beside it. "I could have stopped this from happening. I could have saved you so much pain."

"That's not your responsibility-"

"It is. I'm there to keep you safe just as you're there to protect me. I failed." He closed his eyes and for only a second, you saw emotion far more intense than you've ever witnessed him showing before.

It almost broke you.

"You can't blame yourself for that! You're the one who kept me alive." You quickly tried to sit up to emphasize your point but flopped back down on the bed upon realizing you had no movement of your dominant arm to support you. "... A cast?" You shook your head in annoyance upon seeing it.

He spoke up once again. "Let me aid you back to health," there was a brief pause as he tried to find the right words, "As an apology for my negligence."

Normally, you'd immediately decline. You have far too much pride for your own good and would never want Giyuu to assume you were weak regardless. But a broken arm is beyond annoying, and maybe some extra time with him outside of life threatening missions would be nice.

You thought it over for a few seconds longer, "If you insist!" you offered a smile although you were nearly certain you'd somehow regret this decision later.

Needless to say, you were right.

---

"Giyuu, let go! I need to train!"

"You need to rest. How do you expect to even lift something as heavy as a sword with a cast on?" You desperately tried to squirm out of his grip as he pinned you to the bed.

"I'll figure it out! Come on, Aoi said I could!"

"No I didn't!" You both heard her call out from the hallway in response.

It was no use. The whole world was against you. You gave up, but not without pouting and complaining for another 20 minutes before making another pitiful attempt at escaping again.

"How have you managed to make full recoveries in the past?" Annoyance dripped from the poor man's lips.

"I'm lucky!" You grinned, before shutting your eyes and going back to sleep. You missed his eyes soften as he watched your sleeping form, before standing up quietly and leaving for a little while.

'Nows my chance!' You stood up and left your room, only to be carried back by the exasperated water breather, both passive-aggressively bickering all the while.

---

"I don't need constant care, you know. It's just a broken arm..." You trailed off as you thought of a way to get him to leave for a while. You enjoyed your time with him, but it was beginning to feel like you were being babysat.

No reply.

You stood up from your bed once again, this time receiving a suspicious glare from Giyuu. "Calm down, I'm only going to get some food."

He nodded at you, but didn't leave your bedside.

"You're... free to join me, you know." You specified once you sensed he wasn't quite sure what to do in your absence. He nodded once more and began trailing behind you as you made your way to a sort of cafeteria where recovering demon slayers can find food.

The food they offered at the time was ramen, which you graciously accepted, though knew from the start it would be a battle to eat it considering your injuries. You took two bowls, found a seat, and waved Giyuu over.

"Thanks so much for making sure I'm alright," you started, "but I swear I'll be fine." You stared down at your ramen before glancing at the chopsticks beside it, then back at the bowl. Maybe you could wait to eat until Giyuu leaves so you don't have to worry about making a fool of yourself, or perhaps you could say you weren't hungry after al-

"You should eat. You haven't had anything all day aside from your medicine."

You looked at Giyuu, then back at the chopsticks. You took a determined breath, then shakily grabbed your chopsticks with your non-dominant hand.

'I can do this,' you thought as you slowly picked up some noodles. Let's just say you weren't exactly ambidextrous. In fact, it's a miracle you got your feeble hand to hold the chopsticks at all.

'I can do this, I ca-' the very few noodles you were able to grab flopped back into your bowl and you could feel the hot liquid splash back in your face. 'No. No, I definitely cannot.'

Meanwhile, your so-called caretaker was struggling to keep his calm demeanour and you caught a glimpse of his mouth twitching up. "It's rude to laugh!" You huffed, but you couldn't keep a straight face either.

After a few moments, his expression shifted back from amused to concerned. "Let me help."

"...What?"

He took the chopsticks from your hands and picked up some noodles before putting them in front of your face. "Eat."

Your face became redder than you thought was possible as some recovering demon slayers snuck peaks at the the two Hashiras apparently sharing a meal.

"I'll pass." You choked out. Giyuu feeding you was not on your plan for the day. He furrowed his brows a bit and inched the noodles closer. You would've held your ground, but the growls coming from your stomach begged you to accept the help. You closed your eyes and quickly took a bite.

"Wow, I had no idea Tomioka and (L/N) were together!"

"I wonder if they were keeping it a secret. I always knew they were in love!" You both overheard the hushed voices erupting from a few of the recovering demon slayers in the room, but neither of you wanted to correct them as you took another bite.

---

You led Giyuu out to the gardens after your rather embarrassing meal.

"I'm not letting you train." He said firmly.

You laughed, "I know. After being stuck in the manor all day, I just figured we both could use some fresh air." What you said was mostly true; yes, you needed the fresh air, but it was more so to calm you down after what happened in the cafeteria.

He nodded, and you both stood in silence as you watched the sun begin to set. Being alone with him so long only confirmed for you just how much you fell for him; it was the comfortable silence that proved it.

You began to walk around the garden, admiring the way the plants glowed under the setting sun. Giyuu grabbed your good hand as you both continued to walk and you blushed at the contact.

"Don't worry! I'm able to walk on my own at least," you laughed in an attempt to hide your bashfulness, "it wasn't my legs that were injured!"

Giyuu admired your blushing face before revealing a soft, yet genuine smile.

"I know."

Notes: -2,204 words -maybe i'll update this with a cringe warning -cross posted on AO3 and Wattpad if you want to support me there as well <3 thank you for reading!! new to tumblr so bear with me here lol

[florencebirdsong]

Healing Hands

Agatha Harkness x Reader

Healer AU - Chapter 2/4

Summary: you can’t seem to get the same feeling Agatha gave you

Tags: naive reader, fingering, good girl, praise kink, dubious consent, brief orgasm denial, manipulative agatha, corruption kink, medical play(?)

no pronouns used for R, wearing non-descriptive dress

Words: 2,174

Authors note: here is some more manipulative agatha goodness for you i hope you enjoy <3

masterlist | ao3

Chapter One

You’re back at Healer Harkness’ place much sooner than you were hoping. Which was somewhere between the next day and never.

You had attempted to treat yourself, multiple times. But no matter how good it had felt you hadn’t been able to…finish it like Healer Harkness had. You had hoped that it wasn’t necessary, that it’s only effect was making the gel more potent. Not that it was the key ingredient. But the feeling inside of you, which had been so minorly tempered after your trip to Agatha’s, grew exponentially every time you tried to treat it yourself.

It has only been embarrassment at your inability to do what she said and how the feeling grew every time you thought of her that kept you away for so long. But it’s become unbearable. The few moments you’re able to not think about it have become rare and only the smallest thing flings your thoughts back towards Agatha and her hut.

So, you force yourself back down the long path before anyone notices how unwell you are.

Knocking on her door a second time is easier but waiting for her to answer is so much harder. The heat inside of you banks a little at the thought of her not being home but longing flares. It’s the same agony that’s been haunting you since you left.

The door opens and the look on Agatha’s face changes the moment she sees you. 

“Back again?” she asks as she opens the door wider and allows you inside. You duck your head as you nod. She doesn’t sound disappointed, exactly, but she doesn’t sound surprised either. “Healing or ingredients?” she asks just like the first time.

“The um- the same thing as before,” you say. 

“Oh, yes,” her eyes run down your body. “Your little problem.”

“It’s not so little anymore,”you try not to squirm.

“The treatment isn’t working?”

“I’m not sure,” you wrap your arms around yourself. It still feels so strange to be talking about this with another, even though she is your healer. “You said I had to do the thing. And I wasn’t able to on my own.”

“The thing?” she asks imperiously. “Do I need to remind you of what I said last time?”

“I don’t know what it’s called,” you admit quietly.

“Of course not,” Agatha snorts to herself. “You came, dear.” At your still vaguely confused look she continues. “Orgasmed. Climaxed. Creamed. There’s a few words and many euphemisms but the proper term is come, which is what you will use when referring to your treatment.”

You swallow nervously before making yourself speak again.

“You weren’t there to- I mean I wasn’t able to- to come,” you stutter. 

It’s easier to say than the other word since you haven’t heard it before Agatha but it still feels dirty, despite it being the proper term. Agatha sighs.

“It’s understandable given your experience but it does complicate things.”

“But- you can do it, right?” you rush out. “I mean you did last time, so I thought…” you trail off, abashed at your aggressive start. “I don’t want to feel this way forever and it truly keeps getting worse.” 

You’ve had to fight the horrible impulse to leave whatever social gathering you’ve attended to lock yourself in your room and do as Agatha said. It’s made doing much of anything most difficult.

“Yes, I can. But do you remember how often I said it needed to be done?” she doesn’t give you a chance to answer. “I’m very busy, dear. I can’t drop everything to fuck you.”

You squirm as she says that word from last time.

“Maybe if you show me again I might be able to do so on my own this time?”

“Doubtful. There is a slightly different method we will try instead. It will mean that you may go longer between doses but they aren’t as effective. We’ll need to increase the amount, and then again for how long it’s been since you’ve properly started your treatment.”

“Anything,” to not be so consumed by the thought of her.

“Very well” one corner of her mouth tilts up into what you think is the hint of a smile as she completely clears off her workbench. 

“Why didn’t you show me this the first time if I can go longer between doses?” you ask while she does.

“Because it must be done with two people.”

“But last time-I mean,” you stumble. Her resulting smile doesn’t help.

“I was showing you what to do at home,” she reminds you.

“Oh, right,” embarrassment floods you again.

“Does that mean I’ll need to come to you for each dose?” A strange twist of hope and anxiety curls around your lungs.

“Yes,” she says. “It is dire enough now that we can’t risk missing any while you struggle to make yourself come. Now, bend over.” She gestures at the workbench.

“Bend…over?” 

She only allows you a moment of confusion before her hands grab your hips and position you in front of the bench. You don’t get out much more than a squeak before a hand between your shoulder blades is pushing you down. You don’t fight her as she bends you over. She lifts the skirts of your dress up over your hips. You don’t stop her. She’s a healer. She knows the persisting wetness is a symptom of what’s been plaguing you.

Her cold hands skim over your thighs and that ache deep inside of you returns. The memory of her fingers inside of you has you squirming. You want to feel it again and you don’t know if you’re allowed to. Want can be so dangerous.

“Symptoms?” she asks as she spreads your legs wider apart.

“The same as before but-,” her fingers run through your wetness and you gasp. When she doesn’t say anything, languidly stroking you instead, you continue, “But stronger. A lot stronger. And it gets worse with every day.”

“I suspect it’s because you haven’t been coming when you apply the gel,” her finger dips into your entrance and your hips twitch when she pulls away. “You should’ve come back sooner.”

“I’m sorry,” you whimper. 

Instead of the reprimand you’re expecting or the slightly detached voice she’s been using, she gently rests a hand on your back.

“It’s alright, dear. You’re young and naive. There’s still time to fix it. Don’t worry, we’ll get it sorted in a jiffy,” she says and slides two fingers inside of you.

Trying to treat yourself so many times has made the feeling almost familiar now but being filled by Agatha makes it so much more and you don’t think it’s only from the new position. Although, the new angle does change the feeling. You aren’t sure which is more thrilling.

Agatha hums lowly.

“So wet,” she says, voice husky.

“Is- is that a bad thing?” you say, squirming as her fingers push into you again.

“I told you it was good,” she reminds you. “Now be still, dear.”

Her hand moves from your back to your hip and gives a reassuring squeeze. You force yourself to still but immediately fail when her fingers spread apart still inside of you. 

Gasping, you press back onto her fingers, grabbing the edge of the desk to try and ground yourself.

“Um- Healer Harkness?” you ask, voice higher than usual.

“Yes?” she asks, sounding very much like she isn’t listening.

“The gel. You haven’t used any yet.”

There’s a long pause as her fingers continue to languidly pump in and out of you.

“Ah, yes. Of course,” the abrupt departure of her fingers is makes you whimper. “Merely checking your symptoms without its effect.”

“Okay,” you say, only thinking about her fingers to being back inside of you.

The sound of the jar opening has you spreading your legs further apart without consciously thinking about it. Your hips jump again at the cool gel.

“Be good for me,” Agatha says and you try your best to. Her fingers slip so easily inside of you and you whimper when she curls them.

“There we go. Nice and deep.”

It’s not a question so you don’t bother trying to struggle with making words. You happily sink into the feel of her- her fucking you. You moan the next time she curls her fingers and your own dig into the desk. It isn’t enough. The building pleasure has stopped. Something’s missing but you aren’t sure what.

“Oh!” 

Her finger circles your clit and you try to jerk upwards. Her other hand threads through your hair and pushes you back down. 

“You need to come, dear.”

“I’m trying,” you whine.

“You aren’t if you’re trying to get away from me.”

“I wasn’t- “ is all you can get out before she presses down on your clit and the huge wave crashes inside of you. The hand in your hair moves back to your hip to keep you still as your arch under her. She fucks you through it like last time and you expect her to stop when you finally go limp. She doesn’t. Her pace slows slightly but otherwise nothing changes. Her other hand grips your hip tighter as you begin to squirm. The pleasure building much faster than before. 

“Hea- “ is all you get out before her finger swipes over your clit again and turns it into a broken moan.

“You need to catch up on your treatment. We’ll have to go again, dear.”

You moan. It feels too good to be embarrassed by how much you want her to keep going. The awful empty feeling of the last few weeks is gone. Replaced by spine-tingling pleasure. Why would you ever want to treat yourself when she makes it feel this good?

“There we go,” Agatha murmurs as you fully give in to her. “Such a good girl.”

Your toes curl. You want her to say it again. She only said it the once last time but surely if you behave better than you did then, if you accept everything she gives you, she’ll call you it again.

Her fingers curl every time she bottoms out inside of you and you’re a moaning mess. You don’t try to hide the sounds. You don’t care anymore. You just don’t want her to stop.

You’re suddenly empty.

“No!” you gasp, desperately humping the hair. 

“We need more gel,” Agatha says and runs her hand down your side like it’s meant to be soothing. The only thing you feel is the ache of wanting it inside of you. 

“Please,” you whimper.

“Hush,” she says.

You can’t hear anything else over your heart beating in your ears. You resist the urge to beg again. She told you to be quiet so you will be. Even if the ache inside of you feels like it’s going to kill you. 

One hand returns to your hip and you eagerly push them back towards her. She gently spreads the gel around your dripping lips and you make a pathetic noise as you try and get her inside of you. She laughs quietly and nudges your clit so you make another.

“Please.“

This time she pushes three fingers inside of you and you can’t help the guttural moan that bursts out of you. Her movements are harsher than before. Her fingers slam into you with a force you haven’t felt before and her other hand is gripping you so tight her nails are digging in. It feels amazing. Your skin stings as her nails release you. She finds your clit within a second and you see stars.

You come hard enough to arch off the table. You swear you hear Agatha moan behind you as you squeeze so tightly around her. 

She works you through slower this time, and her hands are gently by the time electricity stops zinging through your body.

“Very good, dear,” she says and it feels almost as nice as when she calls you a good girl.

Her hands stay on the the same as last time and it takes you a little longer to fully come back to yourself. Eventually, you push yourself back up. You wobble a little as you feel how wet you are down there. But Agatha hasn’t said anything so you’re sure you’re fine.

Turning to her, you’re greeted with the same blown pupils from last time.

“You’ll need to come back tomorrow,” she says.

“That soon?” you ask like you aren’t jumping for joy inside.

It feels wrong to want it so badly. Agatha is only healing you. Yet you can’t stop the want from growing. 

“Yes. Like I’ve said. We have a lot of catch up to do.”

You nod your head obediently and go to the door. You hesitate at the threshold, biting your lip.

“How many times?” you force out.

Many, you beg her to say. The idea of never experiencing this again is too awful not to be comforted by memories of it.

Her smile is sharp. “However many it takes.”

Chapter Three

[cloudcountry]

HEHEEHEHEEHEHE I SEE UR REQUESTS OPENNNNNNNN :3

can i request for jin, ren, alan, maybe taiga (?) & ritsu with a reader who is extremely shy but is actually very VERY strong (we love a strong queen)

DO THIS AT UR OWN PACE POOKIE I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORKS NYEHEHEHEHE 💗💗💗

SUMMARY: jin, alan, ren, taiga, and ritsu with a strong mc who is also very shy!

COMMENTS: YAYYYY THANK U FOR REQUESTING <333 ND BEING SO KIND ABOUT IT TT0TT i hope ur own projects are going well :3 ILYTTTT UR WORKS ARE SO SO GOOD

Jin doesn’t find you particularly remarkable at first. Then he learns about your stigma enhancing powers and watches you carry five children out of the orphanage on the first mission, and he’s intrigued.

Puts you to work immediately. Is it a crime if he wants you around but doesn’t know how to say it? If he happens to catch you talking to Tohma will a shy smile on your face, he’ll get all grumpy and snatch you away.

Yes, Tohma was teasing you about Jin. No, Jin does not know that. He insists you put those muscles to work for him instead of hanging around his advisor. (Tohma wasn’t even flirting with you what the hell JIn (°ー°〃) )

Alan’s initial reaction is to protect you. You don’t say much and you always seem a little nervous—it’s hard for him to coax ideas out of you, but he understands. Hardly anyone in Vagastrom is as cooperative as you are.

He discovers your strength one day when a student at Vagastrom tries to pick a fight with you. He hears your soft pleads to deescalate the situation and immediately moves in to defend you when he sees the student reach out to grab you, but stops dead in his tracks when you punch him so hard you knock him out cold.

Alan blinks, your frantic apologies the only sound in the room as you fret over the student you probably just gave a concussion to. He’ll still protect you if you slip up, but it’s a good thing you can defend yourself.

Did someone say wow, Ren has another person in his corner he can get to do his work for him potentially? No? Well, I know Ren is thinking it! If his captain wants to make him work all day just because he’s strong, then you can too.

(He totally doesn’t enjoy working with you at all. Nooo why would you think that. Stop thinking it right now.) Anyway! He’ll definitely tease you about how your strength does not match your appearance at all.

What, you think you can get away with it when you look so unassuming? Who knew you were actually a tank? (That is NOT his way of calling you nice to look at STOP reading into it THERE IS NOTHING HERE.)

Oh this is goofy. So you’re all strong and stuff, huh? Can you lift him? Taiga immediately wants to test out your strength when he first meets you. Hopefully you don’t do anything sketchy to set him off like Ritsu did!

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to keep you around him on missions instead of going with whatever that Shinjo kid wants. Eh? He wants to tail Taiga? Well you are much more interesting, so c’mon kitty cat.

Yes, he still calls you kitty cat. You’ve just got sharper claws than most! You’re so shy and soft spoken one second, then the next you’re throwing Taiga over your shoulder and sprinting away from a threat!

Initially, Ritsu assumes that you wouldn’t be able to defend yourself much if something were to happen. Well, that’s no matter! Rest assured, he can protect you if anything happiness! (Cue the smug paralegal smile and hand on his chest.)

He was proven wrong incredibly fast. When Romeo was about to shoot him, he used his stigma, but was then promptly shoved out of the way and covered by your form. His stigma still active, Ritsu blinks owlishly from his spot on the floor, staring up at your face. You’re looking at Romeo, but he’s looking at you.

You dove in front of a bullet to protect him. It’s buried harmlessly in the wall, but you did it. He’ll have to make some adjustments to his behavioral model...he still has much to learn about his business partner!

[m1guelsgf]

done for the night

axel kovacevic x reader

author's note ⋆｡𖦹 ✮ ‧₊˚✩彡

hiiiii this is my first fic for any CK character so i'm kinda nervous. hope u like it. i started a pt. 2 already bc i just love axel but i also wanna write him in different scenarios as well! will open my requests asap :)

c.w.

s6pt2 spoilers, drinking.

being in barcelona was a dream. you were grateful that you were able to tag along with the miyagi do's. sensei larusso and sensei lawerence always liked you, especially johnny. being miguel's best friend is a privilege you were happy to have. sure, it came with a lot of drama but it also came with a protector, a group of friends, and some karate skills.

plus, being miyagi do's water girl wasn't a bad deal for being flown out to barcelona.

you were enjoying being on the inside of all the events while not needing to fight. the first couple of rounds you seen were intense. being around all these powerful people made you a little nervous but you had hope nothing terrible would happen like the rumble at west valley. these weren't angry teenagers fueled off drama and angst, they're athletes. aspiring professionals.

after miyagi do managed to stay in the game by the skin of their teeth, everyone was getting ready to go out. sam was talking your and devons ear off about spain and all the things her and miguel were going to do in their freetime when there was a knock at the door. you got up from your spot at the vanity and opened it to see miguel.

he was distressed, foot anxiously tapping with a hand through his hair. "is sam in here?"

"yeah, sam." you waved her over to the door. "you good, miggy?" miguel opened his mouth to speak and his eyes immediately welled up with tears. "what's wrong?"

"my mom..." his voice shook as he took sam in his arms for a hug. "something's wrong with the baby, i need to go back home." he spoke, voice muffled by sams hair.

"of course." you nodded. "is there anything we can do?"

he only shook his head and hugged sam harder.

"miguel." johnny said from the end of the hallway and beckoned him.

miguel let sam go and gave you a quick but tight hug before taking off. you and sam share an uneasy look before going back inside the room.

"miguel's going back home? sensei too?" devon asked and the two of you nodded.

"i need a drink." you said, grabbing your purse.

***

at the bar, everyone just seemed to take the gloominess with them. knowing miguel was struggling made it impossible to have fun.

"what are we going to do now that miguel's gone?" devon asked hawk and demitri.

"we could always have y/n take his spot?" hawk said, giving you a look over like he was sizing you up.

you scoffed. "yeah right, i wasn't even good enough to fight for a spot in the sekai tekai. getting my ass kicked on the world stage isn't on my bucket list."

"i'm serious." hawk said. "if they can't get kenny, you're next up. so don't black out this time." hawk pointed at your drink, remembering the time you got blackout drunk and threw up all over the inside of his car at one of moons parties.

"i'd prefer drunk y/n over kenny any day." demitri started. "at least she didn't shit her pants."

"oooookay." you stood up, taking your empty glass with you. "i'm getting another drink." you saw the way they were looking at you. "my last one. i don't think you guys will need me but if you do, i'll be ready. i promise."

you walked over to the bar, where sam and robby were sitting. "hey."

"hey." sam said and robby only nodded.

"what's with him?" you noticed robby's bad mood as soon as you walked up.

"maybe you can help." sam stood up, taking her cup with her. "i'm gonna go sit with the others for a sec, see if miguel still has service."

"okay." you nodded, taking sams spot at the bar. "what's wrong?"

"everything." robby sighed. "i need a drink."

you wanted to tell him not to, that it wouldn't solve anything but you knew that he already knew.

"get one, whatever you want. i got us for the first round." you took some cash from your pocket. "hey, can i get a mai tai and..."

"a rum and coke. double. please." robby asked and the bartender nodded, getting to work on your drinks.

"it's one of those nights, huh?" he only nodded, peering at the other edge of the bar for a moment before scoffing and turning back to you.

"yeah." you looked down to where he had just looked, to see tory and kwon sitting besided each other. kwon had an arm around her shoulders and was whispering something in her ear.

"i'm sorry robby. she's gonna come around, i know she is."

"i don't know. she's doing better without me." robby took a sip of his drink and looked down to where tory was sitting. kwon had separated from her but was still close. "and i'm here." he looked at his drink. "thanks by the way."

"it's not good to drink alone. especially when you're down." you nodded, taking a sip of your drink. "also, i missed out on the robby who smoked weed and skated everywhere. i hear he was kinda fun."

"i still skate everywhere." he said with a small laugh. "just not a skate rat anymore."

"yeah, you're the captain now." you gently nudged his shoulder. "i don't know how that feels exactly, the pressure, but i do know that you're gonna make everyone back home proud. especially tory."

"i hope so." he took another drink and eventually, his was gone.

"i know so. she's been watching every one of your fights."

robby cringed a little bit. "knowing i've lost every one of my fights definitely makes me feel lame."

"you're still in it. there's still tomorrow." you took another sip of your drink.

robby nodded. "i'm gonna go to the bathroom."

you nodded in return, looking over your shoulder to see hawk on his phone, sam and devon talking, and demitri dancing with a girl. when you turned back to where robby was sitting, kwon was in his seat.

"hi."

"hello." you were playing with your straw.

"what are you drinking?"

"a mai tai." your responses were dry but kwon wasn't backing off.

"do you want to dance?" he offered his hands but you shook your head, backing away a little.

"no, thanks."

"what? you're only miyagi do's little girlfriend? not for the rest of us?" kwon leaned in closer. "i can treat you better than keene."

"leave me alone, kwon."

"hey." robby's voice came from behind you.

kwon only scoffed and backed up. "someone's waiting for me anyways." he stood up. "i promise i'll keep her warm tonight, keene." he said before leaving the bar.

"are you okay?"

"i need some air." you stood up and went outside, leaving your friends at the bar. you felt bad for leaving robby alone but you couldn't be there anymore.

you felt the effects of the alcohol as you walked down to the beach. your head was spinning. you stopped and took a seat near the shore, sighing as you looked out to the water.

and then you saw him.

axel kovacevic.

he had been destroying his opponents on the mat. nobody's been able to land a point on him. he was one of the strongest competitors. he was stoic too, especially now as he was practicing his kata about 10 feet away from you. in the moonlight, by the ocean, with the alcohol making your perspective soft, he wasn't robotic. he was focused. until he caught you staring at him.

you made eye contact and immediately looked down at your lap. you waited about 5 seconds to check if he was still looking and he was full on staring. it was awkward. he wasn't looking at you as a threat, but with curiosity.

the two of you observed each other for a silent minute before you decided to say something. "hi." you waved and he didn't say anything in return. "you're axel right?" he nodded. "i'm y/n. i liked the kata you were doing."

"i'm not supposed to speak with opponent." he turned away from you and you stood up.

"i'm not your opponent. i'm not even fighting in the tournament. more like, emergency backup." you smiled, watching the corner of his lips tug upwards.

"why aren't you fighting?" he asked curiously, taking a step closer to you.

"i'm not really a fighter like my friends are." you shrugged. "you're great though."

"i'm alright." he leaned over to pick up his shirt and revealed bruises on his back. the sight made you wince.

"what happened?"

"bo staff competition."

"nobody has been able to land a point on you yet." you looked at him and he had a sort of an embarrassed look. "i know about... your sensei. one of my friends saw. it's not right. you should be out with your team, not practicing alone."

"there's always time for practice. my sensei wants me to be the best. it's because of him i never lose."

"doesn't make it right." you responded. "your entire dojo is pretty great though, i have to admit."

"you're pretty." axel stopped himself. your face was on fire and so was his. "your dojo's pretty good too."

"thanks. do you wanna walk with me? back to the hotel?" you asked, rocking on your heels. axel looked around and nodded and you both took off into the night.

"how long have you been fighting for?" you asked.

"ever since i was a kid. what about you?"

"only a couple years. after one of my friends got really hurt, i decided i had to get serious about learning. he had been teaching me some stuff but when it happened i just had to join a dojo. it was actually... cobra kai."

axel looked at you in disbelief. "you were in cobra kai?"

"yeah. after miguel got hurt, i was really angry and i took it out on everyone."

"miguel..."

"he was the original cobra kai." you remembered when miguel excitedly showed you his first gi. "it's a long story though. those sensei's, silver. they put me and all my friends through hell. so i know what its like to have a sensei do anything to make you the best, even hurt you."

axel couldn't say anything, he could only look at you with wonder. "is that why you don't fight anymore?"

"kind of. i don't know. i'm just not as angry as i used to be. i feel like my anger was the only reason i was ever good and i don't wanna live like that." you shrugged.

"i understand." he nodded. "i love karate but i don't want to be a robot all the time." you shook your head and opened your mouth to speak but he interrupted. "i hear what everyone says. they call me a monster, a machine. sometimes i just want to be axel." you nodded, this time you didn't have anything to say. "that's why i like to travel. i get to disappear in each city whenever i'm not fighting."

"how many cities have you been to?"

"a lot." he chuckled and listed all the cities and countries he's been to. you listened in awe. "what about you?"

"i've never really left california." you responded. "but after being here, i'd love to see everything. the sagrada familia makes me feel small but not in a scary way. it's like a monument to the great things humans can do."

"how cute!" a familiar voice interrupted. "little rival team playtime, huh?" kwon and another cobra kai came from around the corner. "thought you were only for miyagi do to play with."

"and i thought i told you to leave me alone." you tried to push past them but they blocked the path. you could smell the alcohol on kwons breath as he spoke. "just let us go."

"what's the magic word?" kwon asked, leaning in closer to you.

"move." you responded bluntly, not wanting anything else to do with this.

"wrong." kwon scoffed and shook his head. he glanced over your shoulder and you were sure someone was behind you.

"we just want to go back to the hotel." you weren't planning on giving kwon what he wanted.

"okay. you can go, only if you say please." kwon was in your face again, smug smile plastered on his face.

before you knew it, the other cobra kai kicked axel. it barely affected him as he shot into action to defend the both of you.

"come on, hit me. show me why they brought you here." kwon tapped his cheek and you were about to raise your arm when you were grabbed from behind. you elbowed whoever grabbed you multiple times before being able to slither out and kick him across the face. at the same time, axel shoved the other cobra kai into kwon. "okay come on. i'll take you both."

the sound of sirens took everyone but kwon out of the fight. he was still pressing axel and had to be taken away by his teammates.

"come on, let's go."

the two of you bolted back to the beach. after catching your breath, you started laughing a little.

"what?" axel asked.

"that guy kicked you and you barely moved. you have a strong base."

axel looked away from you, a smile spreading across his face. "thanks. that was a nice roundhouse."

"thanks, axel." you smiled at him and then looked out at the ocean. when you looked back at him, he was staring. no, he was admiring you. "what?"

axel said nothing, he only reached to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. his hand brushed against your face and you leaned into the touch.

and then he kissed you.

and you kissed him back. it was perfect. he was cradling your face with one hand, pulling you closer by your waist with the other. his mouth moved against yours softly and romantically. it was sweet. he didn't want anything other than to kiss you and you were happy to oblige and let yourself be putty in his hands.

but then your head started spinning again. you pulled away abruptly, taking a deep breath as you came up for air. the alcohol, the running, and the kissing were all making you dizzy. "axel i-."

"i'm sorry, i should go. already after curfew." axel took off running down the beach.

"wait, axel!" you called out after him but he was gone. you felt terrible as you went back inside the bar to meet with your team. everyone was already heading out and robby was nowhere to be seen. you figured he had went back to the hotel and hoped he would be fine. everyone else on the other hand would be dealing with their drama for a minute, including yourself.

[chris-prank]

Yandere villain sidekick NSFW drabbles

CW: NSFW (obviously), sneaky masturbating while on a call, soft masochist, allusion of reader giving but also receiving and sub yandere

You can go check Dr. Seraph's Part 1 here! Since some of the things here will reference it!

･*:.｡..｡.:*･*:.｡..｡.:*･

The more time went on after he had this special encounter with you, the more his imagination started to go into… naughty territories. At first he scolded himself for thinking such things about you, but slowly he started to accept his lewd fantasies as he timidly rubbed his bulge. In the end, pathetic whines escaped his lips while he rutted his closed dick into his palms, wishing you were the one touching him.

Dr.Seraph's not the type to be fighting on the field. Usually he is behind his computer or monitor, watching his inventions do the heavy work for him. At the very least he will use weapons that don't require hand to hand combat. Since Vincent uses intercoms to talk to you, nothing can stop him from doing other activities during fights. While he interacts with you, he sometimes pathetically strokes his dick, trying his best to keep down his moans.

You’re too busy anyway to hear his whimpers and if not, you just think his creations are connected to him in some way. He must be crying out in pain! 

Watching you destroy everything in your path, while groaning and flexing your perfect body makes him cum in a matter of seconds. You’re already so hot when you’re covered in sweat, he would kill to see you oiled u—WHO SAID THAT! 

I think we can all easily guess that this guy has a huge praise kink. Nothing can turn him on more than you whispering into his ear how much of a good and smart boy he is. 

Like I said before, Dr. Seraph is a bit of a masochist even if he doesn’t like to admit it. What he loves the most is if you go back to being soft right after you slap, spank or bite him. In his head it’s proof that no matter how many times you fought him, deep down you cared about him just like you do now. 

After pressing your foot on his cock, praise him and gently rub his length in a comforting way, that will make his eyes roll back.

Vincent loves feeling like he is being taken care of, so please take him in your arms while you ram yourself into him or bounce on his dick.

He wants to be close with you as much as he physically can, that being a result of his years of fighting you from afar. He especially relishes in nuzzling his head against you, whatever it be your stomach, your chest, etc. 

No matter the position, he prefers it when you are towering over him. He just wants to admire you in all your glory. 

He cries a lot during sex, his cock and prostate are just that sensitive.

Also very very shy while doing it. He might try to hide his face multiple times, especially if you do some dirty talk. You can use this to your advantage to do some light teasing. 

Despite Vincent being a very small guy, let's say that his dick compensates for it by being over average, measuring 7 inches when hard (yes he is indeed proud of it.)

He doesn’t talk much during sex, not that he isn’t vocal, quite the contrary. You will know he is enjoying it if he keeps making whimpers and moans. 

 It’s just that the pleasure makes it very difficult for him to put coherent phrases together. The most he can do is say two or three words at a time. 

Aftercare is a must! He really wants to be able to cuddle and relax in your arms when everything is done. It’s like the cherry on top for him, it brings everything together. 

If you were really rough with him he might fall asleep against you quickly, however it's not because he is unconscious that his arms will let you go out of his grasp. 

･*:.｡..｡.:*･*:.｡..｡.:*･

[no-144444]

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA WRITE THE MIXTAPE FOR THINK LATER? I WILL BE WAITING BUT WHEN?

LY DIVAAA

꩜summary: lewis sees you at a party. your hair is shorter. other things have changed too.

꩜pairing: lewis hamilton x fem! reader

꩜warnings: drug use!!!! (please be so careful and do not take drugs!), reader is a mess, lewis is scared, they're both in love with each other but won't admit it :)

꩜a/n: hey yall! sorry this has been taking so long, i've been having a bit of writer's block plus some other things going on in my life soooo yeah :) enjoy and thank you for all the love on this series, i love writing it!

When Lewis walked into the party, he was not expecting to see you there, and definitely not looking the way you were looking. Short hair, that was the first thing he noticed. You’d had long hair for as long as he’d known you, and you two went way back. The next was the white dust around your nose. His posture stiffened. LA was notorious for this, but you weren’t. You’d always been the kind of girl who preferred a night in, or a pub crawl with friends. Not some big LA party where everyone knew everyone and pretended they didn’t see them when they sneaked off to bedrooms despite the rings on their fingers, and watched as they ingested more alcohol and substances than the human body should be able to take. He crossed the room in a few strides, and he was in front of you, searching you for any signs of recognition as he wiped your nose. 

“Y/n,” he said softly, taking note of your glossy eyes and doped out smile. “Y/n.” he tried again, panic surging through him. He wanted to get you out of here, let you sober up, make you talk about whatever was happening. You’d been MIA for weeks, ignoring his calls and texts and offers to come to a GP. He’d seen pictures, but he knew better than to believe the press and what they were saying about you. He just wanted his best friend back. 

You looked up, staring at him like you’d only noticed him, then you smiled. Wide and pretty, and it brought a soft smile to his lips too. “Lew?” you yawned. “You’re here?” You reached up to touch his face, like you needed to prove he was actually there. He let out a nervous breath as he nodded. 

“How about we go back home, yeah?” he smiled softly, helping you to your feet. He still couldn’t get over it, the hair, it was so short. Still, he pushed that aside as he helped you into his car, something he couldn’t name pulling at his heart when he saw your glossy blown-out eyes. Maybe it was fear, or care, or maybe even disappointment. He didn’t linger on it, just got into the driver’s seat, and focused on getting you home. The car ride was short but you spent the entire trip babbling nonsense that he just tried to decode. It was difficult, he was only catching words and phrases, but he got so nervous about it that he grabbed the narcan he kept in his glovebox (he had celebrity friends, of course he kept narcan in his car), and held it in his hand, just in case. You tripped as you got out of the car, and he caught you, lifting you up until you got inside and somehow scurried out of his hold. 

You stumbled into the bedroom, shedding his jacket, before plopping onto his bed. He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t fight the fond smile on his lips as you closed your eyes and relaxed. He shook his head, that sense of fondness hitting him in the chest and spreading. “I’ll grab some water-” 

“Stay,” you demanded, and who was he to refuse? He had a bottle beside his bed already, he always did. “Missed you,” you mumbled, reaching a hand out for him to take. He took your hand and held it to his chest as he watched you. How had so much changed? You used to be the girl who would annoy him in the paddock, always finding him at the worst moments and turning them into the best. Yeah, you were a bit younger than him, but still, you two were best friends. You’d always been easy to talk to, for anyone. You walked into any room and lit it up, at least that’s what Lewis thought. Now, this was reality, and he really missed those moments. “Been so bad, Lew,” you admitted, and he saw tiny tears falling from your eyes. It pulled at his heart and he already knew he’d do anything to get you out of whatever hole you were in. “I don't know what to do.” He gulped back the ball of emotion in his throat and hummed.

“What’s happening sweetheart?” he cooed, so gentle, so kind. It just made you cry harder. You don’t deserve it, you told yourself. He sat beside you on the bed, raking a hand through your hair. “Talk to me.” 

“I’ve been having selfish thoughts,” you admitted, words slurred as your need for tears subsided, and you just stared. Glossy eyes. “Want you, so bad,” you whispered like you were telling a secret. His heart stopped in his chest as he gulped down a surprised gasp, but still, he stayed closed and listened. “I hate it.” 

He hadn’t a clue what to say. You were high and probably wouldn’t remember this tomorrow, but he couldn’t lie and pretend he hadn’t been waiting to hear those words out of your mouth for years. He just hated that they weren’t sober. He hated that he hadn’t seen the signs, taken better care of you, noticed. He looked back down at you, and you were already asleep in his arms, so he just tried to quieten his mind enough to sleep. It took some time, but he eventually fell into a deep sleep, content to have his arms around you. 

Your head pounded, your skin felt too tight, and your eyes genuinely couldn’t handle the light. You tried to think back, to remember where you even were, think of who you were with, but nothing came to mind. You recognised the curtains, those long black curtains. You gulped, suddenly a lot more awake. Lewis. The man you’d been dodging for months. The man whose bed you were in right now. You sat up much too quickly and covered your mouth with a hand as you felt the urge to vomit, but swallowed it back down. You weren’t going to vomit in Lewis’s bed. 

“You’re awake,” he stated, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, an unreadable expression on his face. You pulled the covers up your body like they could shield you from his inevitable wrath, fuck, you hated this. You felt so small, he had all the power in the room because you were the junkie and he was the concerned friend who needed to fix you. You looked down. This is what you had been avoiding. You awaited the infamous question, the one you’d been dreading to hear from his lips for months. The ‘how long have you been using?’ question. The one that cemented that you had a problem. The one that meant rehab and therapy, and trying to fix yourself. “You cut your hair?” He questioned, and your eyes shot up to meet his. He was walking closer, his eyes trained on you.

“Yeah,” you nodded, pushing some of the strands back. “I felt like I needed a change after the break up.” You hadn’t talked about it, not with him. Your ex was the one who got you into everything, everyone in LA knew that. Then he left you, high and dry (literally) to go fuck a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, and left you behind with a drug addiction and heartbreak. It was always his idea to get high, always his stuff, always him convincing you it was a good idea. You wished you hadn’t listened. You wished you’d just left him first. 

“Are you alright?” Lewis asked tentatively, his hand reaching out to brush your shoulder. His eyes were full of concern and love, like they always were. You tried to hold them back, but the tears fell. You shook your head, and it was enough for him to wrap you up in his arms and hold you, whispering the entire time. “I’ve got you.” He promised. You believed it. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered back, face flush with his chest. “I’m so sorry.” You wailed but he hushed you softly, a hand running up and down your back soothingly. 

“I’ve got you now,” he cooed. “We’re going to get you help, yeah? I’ll be there the whole time.” He promised, a hand running over your hair and cupping your chin so that you’d look him in the eye and see his commitment. Panic filled your chest at the idea of rehab, at the idea of admitting you had a problem, but the thought of Lewis being there beside you, you guessed that was the best way to do it. “I love you.” he reminded you, but it didn’t sound like all the other times. Either way, you nodded. 

“I love you too,” you nodded, your arms wrapping around his neck once again. You could do this. Or at least try to, for Lewis.

navigation for my blog :)

ferrari masterlist

think later masterlist

mixtape masterlist

[fairlyang]

Chapter 3. Best For Last

⋆˙⟡♡✧˖° love island au x miguel o’hara ⋆˙⟡♡✧˖°

★‧°𖦹｡⋆ miguel o’hara x mexicana!bombshell!reader ⋆｡𖦹°‧★

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ W/C: 14.7K

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ CONTENT: first day jitters, receiving breakfast from a handful of suitors, getting info from your fav girlies, grafting, getting to know the boys, more grafting, some interruptions, boys being boys, maybe some fanny flutters

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ SUMMARY: how will your first full day go? who will you flirt with? what are the girls gonna say? what are the boys gonna say? keep reading to find out!

a/n: I promise they all won’t be this long!!! I’m going to split each day into two parts (hopefully) and try not to make them super extra long but I couldn’t help it for this one :’) hope y’all enjoy<3

previous part — next part — series masterlist — villa tour

Your body naturally woke you up and you nearly forgot where you were until you heard shouts all throughout the long bedroom. You yawned and rubbed your eyes before pulling your blanket over your head and seeing everyone getting up and greeting each other. 

The curtains were open and the sun was blaring through the windows and illuminating the room. Suddenly the lights turned on and that meant it was time to wake up. 

“Good morning Y/n!” MJ yelled and within seconds hopped into your bed to give you a hug. 

“Morning!!” You yell back making her groan. 

Suddenly you felt another body jump on you both making you whine, “Ah!! Get off you’re too big!!” 

“Okay, first of all, rude. second, good morning newbie!” Peter B yells, making you laugh as he got off you both. 

“Morning to you too.” you laugh and sit up while MJ quickly leaves the room to go upstairs.

“How’d you sleep?” Jordan asked and you grinned, “like a baby.” 

“Lucky your bed isn’t by Peter B’s then.” Raúl cuts in and walks over to you, sitting on the edge of your bed. 

“Excuse me-“ Peter B tries to cut in but the room is quickly filled with agreement. 

“You snore like a fucking grandpa man.” Miguel chimes in, gaining nods from the other islanders. 

“I don’t know how MJ does it…” Val snickers, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“We need to cover your mouth with something… you’re fucking loud.” Daniel jokes making Peter B groan. 

“Alright whatever.. at least for now it’s only snores unlike some people…” he says and then coughs in the most exaggerated manner he could. 

You didn’t know what he was on about but apparently the rest of them did. There was about to be arguments amongst them all when a producer comes in and makes a hand gesture for everyone to get up. 

You wipe your eyes and then get up to fix your bed. You looked over to the other beds but no one was in a rush to make theirs. 

Deciding to start your morning with that, you quickly fix the sheets then the blanket before folding it over so it’d look extra nice. Raúl then tossed you the two decorative pillows you threw on the floor in your sleep and your bed was set. 

“I’m showering first!!” Peter B yelled and sprinted out of the room and to the backyard.

“Don’t tell me that’s another thing we have to fight for….” You whine and Raúl gives you an empathetic smile. 

“Welcome to the villa.” Miguel’s voice fills your ears and you sigh. 

“All these new things I’m learning are making me question my decision of being here…” you joke, making them both chuckle. 

“Girl you’re so lucky the guys don’t mind taking a shower outside.” Gwen says and comes up to give you a hug. 

“But don’t worry we’ve survived so far.” She says in your ear as you hug her back. 

“I guess it could be worse…” you mumble and she laughs, pulling away then walking away. 

“You’re lucky you were able to shower last night! It was just because you and Mig were in the hot tub.” Jordan says and you look at Miguel with wide eyes. 

“Yeah… we can’t all shower at nighttime before bed so we were just very lucky our date had us wet otherwise it wouldn’t have been an option.” He says and you nod. 

“Oh you’re lucky Peter B wasn’t here to hear that.” Raúl jokes, fighting back a smile while Miguel rolled his eyes. 

“Would’ve had a field day…” David chimes in and plops down onto Jordan’s bed. 

“Yeah I’m sure he would have.” You agreed and chuckled, shaking your head. 

It was funny to see their dynamic with each other, especially with their very own class clown and knowing what would get a reaction out of him. Their bromances were cute to watch in person. 

The rest of the girls quickly went upstairs and you were now alone with the guys. Wondering if you should take advantage of it when another producer quickly came in ushering you to go upstairs. 

You frowned and shrugged, “looks like I’ll be chatting with you guys later.” 

“Don’t worry we’re patient.” Raúl quickly answers, earning himself a couple murmurs. 

“We’ll have to see about that huh?” You tease and he just grins, “I guess we will.” 

You stood up and they all stood up to receive a good morning hug, might as well since the girls weren’t in sight so they wouldn’t be able to scold them. 

David got in front of Raúl and gave you a hug first, patting your back before saying, “good morning.” 

He pulled away and plopped back onto the bed while Raúl stepped up to you, giving you a kiss on the cheek then a very nice hug. 

“Make the best out of your first day alright? Step on all the toes necessary to get what you want.” He whispered in your ear making you laugh and nod. 

He let you go and sat on your bed watching the rest of the boys in a line waiting to greet you. Jordan was up next and made it very short and sweet. Peter’s was even shorter but he gave you a sweet smile before walking away.

Daniel hugged you tightly and wished you luck on your endeavors today then pulled away and walked towards their closet. 

Lastly was Miguel, who gave you a kiss on the cheek as well then hugged you tightly. You hugged him back and enjoyed it for the few seconds it lasted, feeling slight tingles throughout your body. “Saved the best for last huh?” He whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine. 

You fought back a smile and just chuckled, trying to appear composed even though on the inside you were slightly losing it. 

He pulled away and you walked away, waving goodbye to them. As soon as the door closed they all started teasing and smacking him then each other out of excitement. 

After he shushed them and told them to compose themselves, as if he wasn’t grinning ear to ear. they all chilled while they waited for their turn to the shower. 

Peter B came back from the backyard and David ran out. “Damn everyone’s movin’ fast this morning or what?” 

“You know we’re always on schedule.” Miguel tells him, making him shrug, “alrighty then.” 

Gwen and MJ were coming out of the showers while Val and Dana quickly went in. “Is it always this chaotic?” You ask and they both nod. 

“You’ll get used to it!” MJ says, giving you a smile. 

“Alright then, hair is not getting washed today..” you mumble and you follow them to the dressing room where Jazmin was picking out a bikini. 

“What do we think? This one..” she says and shows off a baby pink two piece. 

“Or this one?” She asks and holds up a purple two piece.

“Pink.” You all answer at the same time. 

“Thank you.” She mumbles and stands up to pick out the makeup she’s going to use. 

“Oh here is the bikini section! These are all the ones we haven’t worn and that are provided for us. Looks like there’s some new ones!” Gwen explains then gasps looking through the new sets. 

“Oh I’m snatching this one!” She says and grabs a red set before sitting down on one of the chairs. 

“You should choose one babe.” She says and beckons you over.

You walk over and look at them carefully, seeing which ones would fit and would make you look good for your first full day. Your eyes landed on a gold cutup one piece. 

Usually you wouldn’t go for a one piece but this one was perfect. 

It would leave nearly nothing to the imagination but boy would it look good. It had a halter neck neckline, a high leg cut and was very cheeky on the back. Would have a very decent amount of cleavage and under boob as well. 

The one you wore yesterday was quite comfortable and it looked like the same material so hopefully it’d be fine as well. 

“I think this is the winner.” You announce and the three girls turn to look. 

“Oh wow-“

“That’s hot.”

“I should’ve chosen that one.” 

You grin and nod, definitely happy with your pick. You set it next to Gwen’s on the table while she looked through the bikinis to find one for MJ. “What color are we thinking?” She asks and MJ hums. 

“Haven’t done blue yet..” she says and Gwen nods. 

“How about navy blue?” She asks and takes out a cute strapless set. 

“That’s actually a really pretty one..” MJ answers then nods. 

She grabs it then takes a seat, already having her makeup in front of her. 

“Oh my god babe you’ve gotta wear this skirt with your bikini!” Gwen suddenly shouts and pulls out a short, see through gold skirt. 

It matched perfectly and would complete the look so you grabbed it and placed it on top with the set. “You’ve got a really good eye for clothes Gwen! You sure you’re not a fashion girly?” You say and she just laughs. 

“Oh definitely not, I just sometimes have a good eye for things.” She responds, making MJ grin, “Good eye for men too…” 

“You’re not wrong there!! I think I’ve been bringing Pete out of his shell and he’s just… so sweet.” Gwen says and sighs, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. 

“It’s so cute that you’re so smitten already.” You tease and her cheeks quickly turn red. 

“Well it’s just nice to click with someone so fast..” she tried her hardest to say it without smiling but she couldn’t and her face was so red. 

Val and Dana came into the room and Jazmin walked out, presumably to have her turn in the shower. You grabbed the bikini but left the skirt on top of the chair you were on before heading to the bathroom yourself. 

The girls are getting ready for the day, surely the boys are doing the same thing! 

The boys were all in the kitchen absolutely dying at Peter B’s poor attempt at a fruit smoothie and scrambled eggs. 

“How the fuck do you end up with raw eggs??!?!” Raúl  screams then falls onto the floor, holding his stomach.

There in Peter B’s hands was a pan with the squishiest looking eggs mankind has ever seen. He didn’t find their reactions the tiniest bit funny and just glared at them then sighing at his eggs and turning the stove back on. 

“Listen I’m not no fucking Gordon Ramsey-“

“Oh trust me we know.” Raúl quickly says, going back to laughing at him.

He ignored him and turned to look at Miguel, who was leaning against the counter. “Mig, did you try the smoothie?” He asks and Miguel just nods and holds his tongue. 

“What fruits did you use?” He asked and Peter only groaned, “don’t tell me I fucked that up too?” 

“Just stick to the avocado toast with the coffee man…” Miguel tells him and passes him an avocado. 

“She’s tired of that dude! That’s what I wanna switch it up y’know? One day toast, the next some eggs.” He whines and David swoops in. 

“Give her a pb and j man.” He jokes, making Peter B groan. 

“You guys are no help!” He mumbles and takes a small sip of the smoothie before gagging. 

“Note to self, oranges and bananas do not mix.” He mutters under his breath and dumps the remnants into the sink. 

“Danny, pass me the strawberries please?” He yelled and Danny got right to it. 

“Good luck man.” He tells Peter B, handing him the pack. 

“Maybe try a banana with it too, like half would taste good.” Miguel suggests and hands him one from the fruit bowl. 

“No games?” Peter B asks skeptically, only making Miguel laugh. 

“Promise! Long as she isn’t allergic, it’ll be fine.” He responds and Peter B hums. 

Suddenly Raúl stands up and looks at the breakfast he made for Val then back at the guys and chuckles, “do you guys think I should make our new arrival some breakfast?” 

The guys immediately responded to him at the same time. 

“Damn someone’s fucking greedy.”

“Save some for the rest of us.” 

“What if I wanted to?” 

“Not if I do it first.” 

They all kind of stopped and looked at each other, the only sounds in the kitchen were the eggs on the pan and coffee getting made. Both Peters look at each other and quickly finish what they’re doing. 

Peter B blended the smoothie as fast as he could, served it into a new glass and plated his eggs before walking away with the other Peter on his tail. 

Then at the same time three of them besides Daniel,  all started scrambling to quickly make you something nice. The kitchen was filled with loud shouts and them pushing each other to get the items they wanted. 

They were wanting to be the first to give you something but there was one boy who thought it’d be smarter to take his time than to rush, just to truly impress you. 

So he watched the rest of them act like rabid animals and began brainstorming on what would be his game plan for breakfast then the rest of the day to sweep you off your feet. 

Aww the boys look so cute attempting to make Y/n a lovely breakfast… it reminds me of when the girls were fighting for Raúl and Jordan’s attention… two days ago! Oh how the turn tables... 

You were leaving the beach hut when you suddenly came face to face with David and Raúl quietly going at each other but quickly stopped once they saw you. “Hey guys!”

They composed themselves and put on their brightest smiles while both telling you they made you breakfast. You smiled and gave David a side hug then Raúl one as well, “Aww thank you guys! That’s so sweet of you.” 

“No problem!”

“Hope you enjoy it.” 

You thanked them again and walked past them to get to the dressing room while they went back to their bickering but they then quickly double backed to look at you in your bikini. 

Their eyes were popped out like cartoon characters and their jaws nearly reaching the floor. They looked back at each other and just nodded before going downstairs to join the others. 

Once you stepped foot into the dressing room you saw multiple plates and a drink by where you were getting ready. 

“Your suitors have left you quite a bit of things babe.” MJ jokes while Gwen giggles. 

“They were so excited to bring it too.” Gwen says, making you laugh, “oh I can tell.” 

“Jordan wanted it to be known he was the first to come in with avocado toast and an iced coffee.” MJ informs you and you take a seat between them.

You looked at your three plates of breakfast, one with avocado toast, another with scrambled eggs, and another with a baby burrito. “They actually did decent.” 

“Try it first babe, they apparently rushed to make it at the same time…” Gwen says and fake shivers. 

“Well Raúl’s should be safe right?” You ask and they both look at each other then nod. 

“Yeah that’s true.”

“Oh for sure.”

You grab the burrito and take a bite, immediately tasting the delicious flavors and textures that a chef would know compliment each other well. It was very good. 

“I’m surprised Raúl didn’t stay to see your reaction to his food.” MJ jokes.

“He loves seeing our reactions to his food. God he’s literally like my dad.” Gwen says, earning herself a smile from you. 

“That’s kinda cute though..” you say and she shrugs.

“Hits too close to home for me, it just makes me miss my old man and I saw him before coming in here!” She replies and takes a sip of her coffee. 

"I think that's a cute thing to do and it makes perfect sense since he's a chef." you add and MJ agrees, "it's wholesome with a sprinkle of narcissism." 

You chuckle, reaching over to your glass and taking a sip, nearly spitting it back into the glass. “Oh god-“

“Not even sugar right?” MJ asks and you nod. 

“Yeah none of us have the heart to tell him… we usually dunk it into the sink.” Gwen admits making you gasp, “you guys are so meannn.”

“No listen- we tried but he said too much sugar isn’t good for us!” MJ explains and Gwen nods, “if I’m starting my day with coffee, I need it to at least be drinkable..” 

“Fair enough.” You chuckle and put the glass back down then grab the avocado toast. 

“Ole reliable, can’t go wrong with that.” MJ says with a smile while you bite into it when Gwen speaks up, “Unless the avocado is moldy.” 

You quickly swallow your bite and look at her with a dumbfounded expression, “now why would you say that-“

“Well because it’d technically be true-“ she says but gets cut off by the sound of knocking. 

“Is everyone dressed? Can I come in?” Miguel’s voice asks outside the dressing room and MJ quickly shouts, “no we’re all naked!” 

You chuckled and shook your head at her while she just giggled. “Then can I leave this here?” He asks and she groans.

“Mig we’ve gotta teach you how to understand sarcasm better!! Yes, come in!” She says and he just groans as he walks in then clears his throat when he sees you. 

“I can’t tell with you and your man sometimes.” He tells her earning himself a smack on his arm from the redhead. 

He laughs and then walks over to you, "Hey I made you some breakfast."

"Thank you Miguel! Geez I thought I was supposed to be the one doing the grafting." you tease and he just shrugs while handing you the plate. 

"Just a little hint for you to know I'm interested." he says, making you try to fight back a grin.

"Well Mig, I fear you might have some competition.." MJ says motioning to the plates in front of you and he just scoffs, waving her off, "these guys can't cook for shit, besides Raúl.. I think I'll be more than fine."

"Hm think so?” Gwen teases and he grins, “course, I know so actually. Now if you excuse me, the Peter’s wanted to work out today.��

“New bombshells also named Peter, right?” Gwen asks and he chuckles then shakes his head no. 

You smile as the two girls gasp and shake their heads, “Hey they asked so I gotta take advantage.” he tells them then walks away and out of the room. 

They looked at each other then at you, “Alright, ready for your first full day?” MJ asks and you nod eagerly. 

“Let’s go!!” Gwen yells and helps you with one of the plates. 

“Here we can ‘forget’ the coffee…” MJ says and grabs another for you. 

“Sad. What a waste of coffee.” You say with a fake frown making them laugh. 

You all walked carefully to not drop anything, especially because they were also holding onto their own plates and cups. 

While the villa's sweetheart's helped our newest arrival carry the gifts from her suitors, said suitors were trash talking each other! Because why wouldn't they be?

Miguel joined the guys by the firepit only for them to change the conversation to be against him. 

"Fucking try hard."

"Extra as fuck Mig."

"Someone wants to be chosen huh?"

He rolled his eyes and waved them off, taking a seat next to Peter B, who instantly elbowed his side, "pulling all the stops so soon huh, Miggy?" 

He had no choice but to groan in annoyance, "I mean that's what we're here for and I'm not scared of a little competition."

"A little??!?"

"Bold man."

"Fair fair."

"Jordan, you gave her shitty coffee…" Miguel begins and Jordan was about to go on a rant about health issues caused by coffee when Raúl put an immediate end to it before it even started, "Oh it's not going to be so easy for you O'Hara."

"Yeah? What's Val going to say about that, Raúlito?" Miguel teases, making Raúl groan.  

"Boys, let's not fight, end of the day she's gonna choose which one she likes out of you and you should all consider yourselves lucky to even be in the same vicinity as her." Peter B stated, trying to calm them all down but instead doing a whole lot of nothing. 

They all looked at him blankly, absolute silence around the firepit besides the faint sounds of the birds chirping. He groaned and rolled his eyes, “alright whatever. Fight like a bunch of babies then!” 

Miguel chuckles, shaking his head at his naive friend and stands up, “Alright come on, you guys said you wanted to work out today.” Miguel says then points to both Peters. 

“Oh we’re totally going to regret this aren’t we?” Peter B gulps then gets up. 

“We definitely will.” The other Peter mutters, making Peter B groan. 

Oh watching the boys fight reminds me of puppies in a litter! Eager, tough, and very short attention spans! C'mere boys, come get the bone! 

You all were able to safely bring all the plates down to the kitchen, where it was surprisingly empty. The girls walked over to the little couches in front of the kitchen, you following suit as you set your plates down on the coffee table and keeping your phone by your leg. 

“Alright babe, game plan shoot!” MJ says and takes a sip of her coffee as you take a seat between them. 

“Oh we’re getting right to it huh?” You tease and they both nod eagerly wanting to know everything. 

“Well listen, how about I eat a little first….” You say, letting out a laugh as Gwen rolls her eyes then nods, “fineee.” 

Suddenly you come up with an idea that’d help you figure out how your day will go, “Ohh how about you tell me stuff about the guys? I think both of yours are closed off already but what about the rest?” 

“Oh girl we gotttt you-“ MJ quickly responds then eats some of her eggs. 

“Raúl is a thousand percent open.” Gwen says and MJ nods while you get a taste of Miguel’s huevos rancheros. 

“I feel like he just went with who he thought he’d get along with the best but as soon as the text came in that there’d be a new bombshell, he couldn’t hide that fucking grin off his face.” She explains making MJ chuckle. 

“He was more than pleased with the news is all I’ll say.” MJ noted and you continued eating. 

“How’d Mig do?” Gwen asks and you quickly give her a thumbs up. 

“Yeah Raúl likes to show off but he’s definitely not the only good cook in here!” She says letting out a little laugh. 

“Think they’re gonna try to win me over with food?” You ask and they both giggle. 

“Possibly.” 

“Maybe.”

“Mmm okay, interesting.” You mumble and take a look behind you to look at the villa. 

“I will say I’m not surprised by Raúl nor Jordan. I mean they’ve only been with their respective girl for a solid day so I imagine they’d be easy to sway…” MJ says while Gwen adds, “they’re both very open.”

“And clearly want to get to know you.” Gwen says, earning herself a smile from you as you turned to look at them again. 

“But I will say who I am shocked by is David-“ MJ starts with Gwen quickly interrupting her, “no because that is crazy to me.” 

“Because tell me why just yesterday like an hour before you came in, Val was giving us updates and although she said she was conflicted with David and Raúl, she said she had a very nice chat with David. He said it would take a lot to turn his head because he really liked where they were going.” She explained then took a deep breath. 

“It was kind of giving that he’s solid with her and that he wouldn’t crack so easily. That he would be, for the most part, just focused on her.” MJ finished off as Gwen took a sip of her coffee.

“Which is why she was a bit cold to start with yesterday because of his reaction to the news but she is a sweet girl.” She adds then shrugs. 

“So for him to go up and make breakfast for you is a big thing and kind of contradicts what he just said to her yesterday.” MJ says and you nodded, “I can absolutely see why! Yeah it’s kinda crazy..” 

You grab your slice of avocado toast and take a big bite of it, can’t really go wrong with that so the boys will have it easy even if they can’t cook. 

“A couple of them did change when that text came in.” Gwen says and shakes her head, “I guess it’ll always be like this because you don’t know when your dream person will come in.” 

“That’s why you’ve gotta be careful with your words.” MJ snorts making you laugh. 

“Yeah because you can say one thing one day and the next here comes your fucking soulmate right through the front door.” You say and Gwen nods, “exactly.”

“Honestly this is why I’m scared that Pete is so… clingy. He’s like now this but what if he changes his mind in two days? We don’t know whose coming in and that’s probably the scariest part.” MJ explains and you put your plate down, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. 

“From what I’ve seen I don’t think he’d be the kind to do that, plus it’s a good sign that I haven’t gotten any flirty vibes from him. From either of the two Peters really.” You reassured them both and they just nodded.

“For now that is.” Gwen says and you shrug, “we just gotta live in the moment and pray for the best. Otherwise we’re just always going to be worried like the other girls. I genuinely feel you’re both fine!” 

“God I sure hope so-“

“If not I’ll kill him!” MJ says, making you both burst out laughing. 

“Interesting reaction..” Gwen says and shakes her head trying to fight back her laughs.

“I don’t know… I think it’s fair.” You joke and MJ grins, “she knows what’s up.” 

“How about Danny?” You ask and they hum. 

“I’m not gonna lie to you compared to the others, I'd say he’s like our guys, just wanting to focus on one person and give them his all.” MJ says and you nod, “understandable.”

“But in here you can’t sell yourself too short and you’re thee bombshell. Any of these guys would be lucky to share a bed with you.” Gwen noted and lightly elbowed your side. 

“And I don’t think we’ve gotta tell you much about Mig…” MJ starts and you shrug, fighting back a smile so she continues, “I think the whole villa can see how different he’s been already. In the best way, I know he had such a hard time finding a click and that’s all he said he wanted from the start.” 

“Listen I’ll say it, he looked so fucking happy when he came back from your date and compared to how he’s been giving it his all and it not working in favor, I’m glad you guys hit it off. It’s what he neededddd.” Gwen excitedly explained and you tried your hardest to keep your cool. 

“That’s good to hear.” You reply back with the most normal tone you could give meanwhile a complete mess on the inside. 

“And I mean you guys didn’t hear this from me.. but I’m glad the feeling is mutual.” You mumble the last part but their ears were peeled and they squealed at the same time. 

You quickly shushed them and hid your face in your hands, absolutely embarrassed that you just admitted that so quickly. 

Hell, it hasn’t even been twenty four hours yet. But you liked how things started off and hopefully it’d continue growing. 

“Sorry sorry! We just got so close to him and he’s such a good friend, and sweet guy in general so ahh this is exciting!!!” Gwen blurred out while MJ looked like she was holding in a fart. 

“Go on MJ, what do you gotta say?” You tease making her roll her eyes at you. 

She takes a deep breath, fixing her red bangs from her face then smiles, “call me biased but I know who I’d love for you to end up with. Just based off your vibes so far.. y’know what maybe we can play cupid today.”

“Oh my god yes!!!” Gwen screams and then covers her mouth, her blue eyes as wide as they can go.

“Ms. Stacy you’ve gotta relaxxx- how much fucking sugar did Peter put in your coffee today?” MJ jokes making the blonde roll her eyes. 

“Maybe Jordan did have a point…” you tease, earning yourself a laugh from MJ and a playful glare from Gwen. 

“Alright- well you’re not going to finish all your food so I say you should start off your day with some grafting!” Gwen chirped and you chuckle then nod. 

You did spend quite a bit getting info from them but you were just glad you could get some insight. Very helpful information for a day of flirting. 

“Oh goddd I don’t know where to start!” You exclaimed making MJ chuckle, “you’ve got all day, I say start strong.” 

“Well that didn’t help.” You scoff making them both laugh. 

“Just go!! You’ve gotta talk to them all anyway.” MJ says, and subtly points to the fire pit. 

“Okay okay. I can do this!” You say and they both cheer you on as you stand up. 

“You guys can eat the food, we can’t let that go to waste too.” You point a finger at them and they both wave you off and tell you to stop stalling. 

You playfully roll your eyes and groan before grabbing your phone and walking away from them, heading straight to the firepit. 

Now you could easily go for Miguel, who you’ve already chatted to and got along with fairly well but for starters, he was helping both Peter’s with the weights and it’s love island so you may as well start with something fresh. 

This whole thing is a risk and something completely different from the outside so you really just gotta make the best out of it. 

The easy options would very obviously be the other three who made you breakfast and although Daniel didn’t, that didn’t mean you’d count him out. At least until you’d have a proper conversation with him to see what he’s thinking. 

You had good options and seeing them trying to be cool while you headed straight for them made it an even harder decision than anticipated. 

They were all in swim trunks, shirtless and right in the sun so all four of them were glowing and easy eye candy. But it wasn’t time to ogle, it was time to do what you came in to do. 

“Hey boys!” You say as you get on the firepit with them. 

They all wave back and Daniel and Jordan scoot so you could sit with them but you instead shake your head, “time for my one-on ones boys, mind if I steal Raúl for a bit?” 

Raúl jumped up from his seat and walked towards you, “they don’t mind at all.” 

“Actually-“

“They don’t mind.” He reassures you with a smile and offers you his arm which you gladly take. 

You look at the other three's faces, who are trying so hard not to react in a way that’ll make them look bad in front of you so you wave goodbye to them and are off with Raúl. 

Finally with your back turned from them, you let out a laugh and shook your head at him, “something tells me they did mind…” 

“Whattt? Absolutely not.” He says and bites his lip to not laugh with you. 

"I don't know what on earth you're seeing…" He jokes, making you laugh.

“Alright where are we going?” You ask and he walks you straight across the pool. 

You walked past all the bright bean bags and you took that chance to finally take a good look at the scenery, right past the pool was the most gorgeous view ever. The greenest of trees ever and a big hill to the right with beautiful flowers blooming in the distance. 

"Wow, what a pretty view." You mumble and he chuckles, "the sunsets are even better."

“Alright y’know what, this place is pretty underrated.” He responds once you’re by a cute sitting area and thinking you were going to sit right on those couches, you were going to sit down but he shakes his head, “follow me.” 

You look at him confused but he guides you past the little sitting area and down some steps right next to the pool. At first it’s just grass and there’s nothing special about it but then walking a little more and in a stuffed corner there’s a hidden sitting spot. 

“Oh my god I haven’t seen this before.” You say, completely shocked. 

It was cute. It was a little half circle couch, kind of like a booth at an old diner. The top cushions were a vibrant blue and the bottom was white. 

And it was very hidden, for the most part. 

Maybe the guys at the gym would be able to see but only if they were really on the edge which from what you've seen from Peter B, he would probably be the one to come up with that idea. 

“Honestly it’s mostly used for special occasions.” He responded and helped you sit down before sitting down next to you. 

There was still a good amount of space between you two, no knees touching and he kept it a safe distance before turning his body to face you, now being a tad bit closer. 

“Special occasions huh?” You tease and he nods, giving you a wide grin, “mhm, I think a first chat is as special as something can be right?” 

“Hm you’re not wrong.” You reply and turn your body to properly face him as well but being careful on not having any physical touch. 

For now. 

"So what are you looking for?" You ask and cross one leg over the other.

"Easy questions first?" He asks, earning himself a chuckle from you, "what do you want the hard hitting ones instead?"

"No, no, just curious is all." He says and you shrug, "sureeee."

"Alright, alright.." He teased and playfully rolled his eyes.

"Well I'm honestly looking for my future wife, my soulmate, my other half, my twin flame—“

"Alright, alright." You mocked, making him laugh.

“It’s true though! Here I’ll tell you what you wanna know because being in your shoes a few days ago, I know.” He says and you give him a smile then nod waiting for him to spill. 

“I am looking for something serious, I’d love to find a genuine connection and walk outta here with a girl by my side to introduce to my family.” He explains and you can’t help but aww at that. 

“So would you consider yourself a loverboy?” You ask and he grins, “c’mon isn’t that obvious?” 

You playfully roll your eyes and he laughs, “just messing with you! But I’d say yes, in this rough era of dating I’d happily put in the work of planning dates, buying the prettiest flowers, picking her up, opening the doors for her, and looking extra nice, of course.” 

“I bet that’s not too hard for you.” You quickly say and his quick rebuttal was, “you’re one to talk.” 

You chuckle and fight back a smile while he continues, “I’ve always loved putting in the work to the potential start of a relationship. The flirting is definitely the best part, just making it known that you’re very interested and that you could see something with them.” 

You nod, feeling your face grow warm but you just ignore it and pray it’s not noticeable. It was very specific and could absolutely make sense in this situation. 

So to distract yourself from thinking too much you fiddle with your phone's phone case. But it was not enough and was very much still in your head. 

“Growing up I saw the most beautiful love a kid could witness and having been raised to be a gentleman, I’d say it was a good combination that made me the man I am today.” He explains with a smile on his face. 

You smiled back and he kept going again so you took that moment to take a good look at him. His eyes were a gorgeous mixture of light brown and green hues, they looked even brighter in person than on tv. 

One thing you hadn’t seen before were the little freckles scattered across his face. A couple below his eyes, a few on his nose and cheeks. They looked cute on him. 

Made him somehow look even more fine than before when you didn’t notice them. You loved when you could find little details like that on someone, you also found little birthmarks scattered on his face as well.

In simple terms, he was very pretty. 

Your eyes went lower for a brief second to look at his lips when he suddenly waved his hand in front of your face, “sorry! What were you saying?” You say and he snickers. 

You fight back a laugh and watch him laugh his heart out. He just kept looking at you and it’d make him laugh even harder. 

You took a deep breath then gave him an apologetic smile, “No, please repeat it! I didn’t mean to get distracted.” You playfully plead and he throws his head back still laughing. 

You hide your face in your hands, quickly regretting your choice to ogle at him up close. But how could you not? 

It was going to be tough to not have eyes on you while having these chats so you might as well make the best out of it. 

And if that meant taking a really close look at how handsome these boys are in the middle of a chat then by all means… 

“Listen if I were to do what you just did, I’d be staring at you for hours.” He admits making you burst out laughing. 

He had a shit eating grin on his face and you could tell he was putting out all the stops. It was nice, really nice. 

But it was also making you feel shy and nervous which was insane. It was barely a “getting to know each other” chat and he was already making you feel like this? Insanity. 

“Anyway-“ you attempted to change the subject but he quickly interrupted you, “No, no you’re not getting away with that-“ he starts then thinks about it again and laughs. 

You laugh along with him and it lasts quite a few minutes, your cheeks starting to hurt when finally you calm yourself down and clear your throat.

He was still giggling, his cheeks changing to a more rosy color which was very cute to see. You stay as composed as you can be and pretend to fix your hair while he calmed himself down. 

You then move more to your side and lay your head against the blue cushion, staring at him again just because you wanted to. 

He took a deep breath, letting it out, then did the same as you, resting his head on the blue cushion to take a good look at you. He was going to take full advantage of being in one of the most private spots in the villa and just take in your beauty. 

You, on the other hand, figured you’d continue the conversation and maybe give him another good look or two. 

“So what were you saying?” You asked and he chuckles, “right, so I said that my parents have always had the purest love and that one day I’d love to have something similar.” 

“Mmm that’s cute, how long have they been together?” 

“Dad is forty eight, mom is forty seven, they’ve been together for about thirty one years! I’m twenty five so there’s the math!” He jokes making you chuckle and nod, “so they were young huh?” 

“They were together for four years then got engaged and had my older sister then me. All my siblings and I are a year apart and they just always had a strong bond and love for one another. Imagine having a high school sweetheart and having a bunch of mini me’s?” He explains then sighs, “that’s my dream, well minus the high school sweetheart because it’s too late for that.” 

You chuckle then ask, “how many siblings do you have?” 

“Five… four sisters, one brother.” he mumbles, making you gasp, “Damn! Eran conejos huh?” (They were like rabbits huh?) 

He laughs and quickly nods, “si, los dos siempre quisieron muchos niños.” (Yes, they both always wanted a ton of kids.) 

“Espera, pues en ese tema, de dónde viene ese acento?” He asks and you grin, “México.” (Wait, well on that topic, where does that accent come from?)

“Mm me lo imagine porque se escucha un poco como mi mano, Miguel.” He says and you smile, “no me acorde decirles.” (I imagined because it sounds a bit like my brother, Miguel) (I forgot to tell you guys) {brother used as slang not actual brother}

“Esta bien, yo ya te lo quise preguntar.” He stated, making you nod. (It’s fine, I wanted to ask you)

There was a small silence between you two, your heart slightly beating faster than normal but not too bad yet. It was comfortable, luckily not on the awkward side which was a good sign. 

You looked at his eyes while he looked down to your lips and you took that opportunity to ask another question, “when was your last relationship?” 

“About three years ago. Cheated on me with a coworker.” He answers and bites his lip. 

“Sorry to hear that.” You whisper and he shrugs, whispering back, “no worries, I’m way past it.” 

You nodded again and finally he looked back into your eyes, “have you ever been in love?” 

“Now that’s a hard question.” You whisper, making him chuckle, “it was time for a shift.” 

“Hmm going to say no…” you start and he leans in, paying close attention, “just because I was very young when the relationship started and he wasn’t the same by the end of it.” 

“Mm I get that. Honestly, don't count my first few girlfriends just for that same reason.” He says and you nod, “makes sense.” 

“I’m only counting it when I really feel it. When everyone around me can tell that I’m in love.” You reply softly and he gives you a warm smile, "I really hope you find that here." 

"I hope you do too." You respond and give him a smile back. 

There was another silence and you were just looking into his eyes, feeling goosebumps all over your body. It was such an amazing thing that you could have such an open and nice chat like this with someone you just met. 

He was a great listener and that nowadays was a lost cause in some men that only dare to talk about themselves but he was good at both listening and responding. 

It felt just as easy as the date which was all you could really want. It was such a good sign.

The best thing had to be that he was very attentive, family oriented, and really so sweet. 

He was sweeter than you thought plus add the fact that he has a sense of humor? He might just be ticking a few boxes and you’ve only just started your rounds. 

“Do you have a type?” You ask quietly and he hums, “not so much. I like to base things off personality, humor, kindness, intelligence, that kind of thing. Also speaking Spanish is also a big plus.” 

“Hmm very interesting..” you murmur, and he quickly adds, “oh and being a gorgeous bombshell also helps.” 

A snort left your mouth and it had you shaking your head in disbelief, “right, that’s-“

You were unable to finish your sentence because he burst out laughing and you did the same. You covered your face in your hands again and giggles started leaving your mouth. 

He didn’t even seem like the type to be so smooth like that but in here, anything could happen. Plus you were just getting to know him afterall. 

He couldn’t stop laughing and that had you taking notice that he had pearly white straight teeth. No wonder he had a gorgeous smile. 

He stopped laughing but now he was grinning ear to ear and it had you feeling ecstatic. This was so nice and for it being the first one of the day was just really exciting.

“Oh I have a question-“ he says and you quickly respond, “Shoot!” 

“What qualities do you look for in a guy? What’s boyfriend material for you?” He asks, finally calm from laughing but his cheeks were now red. 

“I love a funny, sarcastic guy. Someone that can give it and also take it, being able to go back and forth y’know?” You explain and he quickly nods. 

“I like guys that are kind and sweet, I’ve never really liked the bad guy type but more so the nice guy. A boyfriend that my mom would approve of.” You elaborate a little more, making him chuckle. 

“Are you close with your mom?” He asks and you nod, “she’s my best friend, if my mom doesn’t like you then I’m not choosing correctly.” You joke, making him laugh. 

“I see that, makes total sense.” He replies and you nod. 

Now deciding to do what he did earlier for fun, you took a deep breath and spoke as confidently as you could, “Spanish is a big thing for me too and I gotta say, someone that knows how to cook is also up there.” 

He suddenly sits up and chuckles, “Oh yeah?” 

You instantly respond, “Mhm, especially when the food is delicious.” 

That for some reason had an effect on him, he bit his lip to not continue to grin his face off but it failed. He just let out another chuckle to hide the grin and looked behind you, unable to meet your eye. 

That made you giggle because he just visibly got shy right in front of your eyes and it was fucking adorable. “Getting shy on me Raúl?” You tease and he looks back into your eyes, biting his tongue. 

“Me? No, absolutely not. You’re seeing things…” he jokes, earning himself a giggle from you. 

Deciding to tease him further you had a quick rebuttal, “Mhm, whatever you say loverboy.” 

The noise he let out was a combination of a gasp and a cough, still trying so hard to mask the truth as if you weren’t mere inches away from him and able to tell what was really going on. 

You bit your lip but a smile still popped up while you watched him try to deny it but his body language was saying otherwise. 

“I think you might need some glasses…” he joked then ran a hand through his hair. 

“Uh huh sureeee I do.” You teased and let out a giggle. 

He sighed, took a deep breath, then let it out quickly followed by a chuckle, “God what are you doing to me- that’s crazy, is all I gotta say.” 

“Could be crazier…” you offer and he nervously laughs. 

“Can I just say I’m so pleasantly surprised with this conversation?” You note and he perks up, “yeah? How so?” 

“I didn’t think I’d have another conversation that flows so easily like last nights.” You respond honestly, making him grin. 

“I’m glad to hear that and make sure you tell Mig that, we’ve gotta bring him off his high horse talking about he’s not scared of a little competition.” He exclaims, making you snicker. 

“Now that’s fucking crazy-“ you say in between laughs and he just laughs along with you. 

“I’ll admit as well that I’m also pleasantly surprised, in the best way possible honestly. You really are so easy to talk to and I really, really liked talking to you.” He admits, instantly making your face grow warm once again. 

Before either of you could say something, you heard Peter B’s loud voice shout above you, “Are you gonna let everyone else get a turn Raúl?!??!” 

Meanwhile Raúl groaned and rolled his eyes, knowing something so good couldn’t last forever. Mostly because he knew the rest of them were probably so fucking relentless and impatient. 

As expected. 

He sighed and stood up, sticking his hands out to you, “I guess he’s right but he did not do that for himself.” 

“Think he’s wingmaning right now?” You whisper, quickly grabbing your phone before placing it in your skirt and take his hands.

He helps you stand up and right when you’re in front of him, he whispers, “absolutely.” 

You look up at him and go in for a hug since you were still somewhat hidden. He’s taken off guard but quickly accepts it and hugs you right back. 

“Then in that case, he’s next.” You whisper in his ear and he instantly laughs. 

“Now that’s some good karma.” He whispers back and you nod. 

“Thank you for the nice conversation, I really enjoyed it.” You murmur and he sighs, “anytime, I’m here for you and would love to continue chatting. Feel like we still had things to say.” 

“We did.” You mumble and pull away. 

“How about I’ll try to catch you later to continue it?” You offer and he quickly nods, “whenever you want, gorgeous.” 

You grin and he grabs your left hand and leads you out of the hidden area, carefully going up the steps to find Peter B right in front of the sitting area with his hands on his hips like a disapproving dad. 

“Raúl what did we say about sharing?” He joked making Raúl groan and let go of your hand. 

“Acting as if it was an hour, it was like what ten minutes? Everyone’s so impatient.” He blurted out and Peter B playfully shakes his head. 

“Then in that case, it’s your turn buddy!” You exclaim and quickly step towards him, grabbing his right hand, and dragging him to the swing set while he stuttered out random words.

He was taken aback, thinking he did such a good job interrupting so his boy Mig can have a turn just for it to not work at all how he wanted. 

“C’mon I said I was chatting to everyone! Don’t be so surprised.” You teased and he gasped. 

“This is what I get for doing a good deed.” He grumbles making you laugh. 

You let go of his hand and he still trails behind you, finally getting to the swing set. You took a seat on the middle and he chose to sit nearly by the edge, making you fight back a snort. 

“Come over here, I don’t bite.” You say and motion for him to sit next to you but he looked so fucking nervous. 

“Peter, I'm just here for some info, c’mon!!” You whisper shout and he quickly ohhhs then takes a seat next to you. 

“You can’t get a hint huh?” You joke and he gives you a look. 

“Is this a trap?” He asks and you quickly shook your head no.

“Nope! I mean I could tell pulling you or the other Peter for chats would be a waste because you guys are solid but I’d still love to talk to you guys! It’d be rude not to!” You explain and he nods. 

“You’ve got a point! Oh god I don’t know what I’m gonna do if someone comes in and tries to steal me from my girl.” He says in the most panicked tone and you chuckle, “that’s what this journey is all about!”

“No I know it’s just- I really like her and I don’t want it to be ruined at any point whatsoever.” He said and you nodded. 

“I can see how much you really care for her, it’s very sweet.” You compliment and he smiles. 

“Is it that obvious?” He asks and you shrug, “is the sky blue?” 

“I- oh wow- that was weirdly sweet.” He says and puts a hand to his heart. 

“Alright I’ll give you some tea.” He says and scoots closer, leaning in and sticking his pinky out, “but you didn’t hear it from me.” 

You stick out your pinky and lock it with his, “I didn’t hear it from you.” 

“The rest of the guys are eager to talk to you, I swear I’ve never seen David shake in his boots in excitement the way he is now-“ he explains then interrupts himself, “did I use that correctly?” 

You fight back a laugh then nod, “yes you did.” 

“Thank god, Val and Jazmin are teaching me lingo.” He explains then interrupts himself again, “anyway, where was I?”

“David shaking in his boots.”

“Right! Yeah this dude looks more excited than when we first got here which says a lot because he did backflips into the pool like five times that night!” He exclaims and you gasp. 

“But the girls said he was giving Val reassurance yesterday.” You said and he nodded, “oh he was but I swear once that text came in they all got crazy.” 

“Me and Pete were excited for our boy because he’s been going through it, and don’t get me wrong some of the other guys were also happy for him but after he left they were more excited at the opportunity of having someone new in front of them.” He explains before quickly adding, “They were worse than little kids on Christmas Day.” 

“Well that says a lot.” You murmur and he nods, “exactly what I was thinking. Honestly people here are going to be changing their minds left and right while i why I don’t even wanna glance at other girls. MJ and I are sooo good and I don’t think I’m so willing to try something new and potentially ruin what we’ve built like the others y’know?” 

“Yeah I get that! Especially because you were so lucky to click right off the bat.” You respond and he snaps his fingers, “exactly!” 

“I know people are saying ‘oh come on you’re gonna have regrets’ and ‘Peter what if you get on with someone else instead’ but personally, I’m good. I’m more than content and perfect with my girl.” He explains and you nod. 

“You seem like a romantic- honestly you’ve surprised me! You just seem so smitten with MJ and it’s cute to see.” You compliment, making him smile. 

You decided to tell him what you thought just to get him to smile some more, “Also you look to be an amazing friend, not just because of what you attempted to do right now but because you tell them what they need to hear, not what they want. Plus you’re the funniest person in the villa.” 

“Oh you’ve just made my day- that last comment, I mean come on no one is even close, right?” He jokes and you playfully shrug. 

“No you can’t take that back!” He exclaims, making you laugh. 

“Alright, yeah no, no one is close.” You admit and he yells a loud, “YES!” 

“Just because of that- alright listen, so my man Mig-“ he starts but you quickly interrupt him, “Wait! Don’t tell me too much!”

He chuckles and waved you off, “fine.” 

“He’s the true hopeless romantic of the villa, I swear when this guy tells me his thoughts on love, it brings me to tears.” He starts off strong, making you chuckle and nod. 

“Now, obviously, it wasn’t going so hot for him but all I’m gonna say is that I’m stoked that the date went well for the both of you.” He explains in the softest tone ever before adding, “from the looks of it already, you seem sweet and funny which means we will get along amazingly!!”

“Oh that was so fucking sweet Peter- and it’s funny because I’m hearing a lot of people are happy for Miguel and it’s adorable.” You reply and he quickly nods. 

“Hey what can we say? We already love each other that much and you’re going to fit right in!!” He says and comes in for a hug. 

You hug him and he gives you a squeeze, “I hope this is the start to an amazing friendship because y’know what I need a girl best friend in here.” 

You gasp and pull away, “oh my god say less! That’s a deal!!” 

“If we need advice from each other-“ he starts to say and you cut him off, “I’ve fucking got you!!”

“And I’ve got you okay? These boys are gonna be crazy today so if you need time to chill from the flirting, I’m your guy. We can have a laugh, play a game, or share gossip with MJ….” He offers and you eagerly nod, “honestly think that side is also needed in here.” 

“Oh absolutely! It’s why I’ve tried to befriend absolutely everyone because that’s very important too.” He says to which you respond, “It for sure is and I really appreciate that!” 

“Would it be rude if I went with-“

“Go to her, god you’re like a lost puppy without her!” You tease and he grins. 

“And I’d gladly get on my kne-“

“Alright! Didn’t have to hear that.” You say and playfully roll your eyes. 

He stands up and you stand up with him, eyes scanning the villa to see where everyone was. 

Dana and Val were on the daybeds with Daniel and Raúl. Gwen and MJ were with Peter and Miguel in the gym. That left Jordan and David by the firepit but you were barely able to see them. 

Jazmin was the one that was nowhere to be seen. 

“Hunting your prey huh?” Peter B teases, making you chuckle, “might be.” 

“Who do you think I should pull next?” You ask and he hums. 

He then takes a few steps forward, trying to see who was at the firepit and that’s when you see one of them stand up, “whoever is at the firepit right now.” 

“Alright say less, wish me luck!” You say and he waves you off, “You don’t need it, could tell Raúl was having a grand ole time before I stepped in.” 

“I fucking knew you’d be the one to take a peak.” You admit and snort. 

What a surprise. 

“Listen curiosity killed the cat and I love knowing what’s going on so yeah, I did what had to be done!” He defends himself and puts his hands up, “guilty as charged.” 

“We have a word for people like that in Spanish…” you say and he grins, “chismoso, right?” (gossiper)

You burst out laughing, shaking your head in disbelief before realizing of course the others already let him know that information.

“Think that word fits you perfectly.” You joke, making him chuckle, “Hey I’ll wear it as a badge of honor.” 

“Now, you’ve got some flirting to do, newbie. Good luck!” He says and subtly points to the firepit. 

You walk away from him, giving him a quick wave before making your way towards the lone wolf at the firepit. 

From your previous angle, you couldn’t see too well but since Peter B was not only taller than you and also moved to see who it was, he knew who was next in line. 

As you walked past the daybeds you noticed that it was David who was alone. His eyes were shut and he was just sunbathing. 

You made your way towards him, being careful to not get your heels stuck anywhere. With your head held high and now having a good idea of how these chats go, you were feeling much better about your first day. 

It couldn’t really get any better than this. You were in a beautiful villa, with tons of gorgeous guys wanting to talk to you. You thought it’d be intimidating but really it wasn’t so bad and they were very sweet. 

All in all, it wasn't as hard as you imagined, which was amazing. 

Finally you got to the firepit, you slowly walked towards him before standing right in front of him. He opened his mouth to complain, thinking it was one of the guys but once he opened his eyes to see it was you, he grinned, “oh hi there.” 

“Hey, mind if I join you?” You ask and he shakes his head, “not at all.” 

“Figured I needed to get my rounds in.” You joke, making him chuckle, “fair enough.”

You took a seat to his left, just so the sun wouldn’t hit your face while he turned to look at you, “How are you enjoying it so far?” He asks and you smile. 

“It’s been really nice! It’s a good bunch in here.” You reply, making him nod. 

“It’s a very good group, obviously we’re gonna keep getting new additions and eventually lose some people but for the most part it’s all good.” He says and shrugs. 

“That’s what this experience is all about.” He adds and you nod. 

“So tell me about yourself, give me your resumè.” You say and he chuckles, “I’ve got you.” 

“I’m twenty seven, I’m from California, I work as a carpenter and I’ve been single for four years! Honestly, I think it’s time for me to settle down.” He explains and you nod. 

“When was your last relationship?” You ask and he hums, “two years ago, ended on alright terms. We just weren’t fit for each other.”

“It happens but that’s why we’re here right?” He adds, making you nod again. 

“Definitely! New people and a very different way of dating.” You respond and he laughs, "very fucking different." 

“How are things with you and Val?” You ask and he instantly answers, “we’re doing good so far, I do like where it’s going but I’m not going to be closing things off so quickly. It’s still the first week and I’d be a fool to do so.” 

You could give that to him because everyone had their own feelings and know if they want to risk what they have now for something new or not and stick together. It made sense. 

You just hoped that he would communicate that to Val, to avoid confusion. 

“Fair enough! Everyone’s going to have their own journey here and at the end of the day it’s up to you how you want to go about everything. Who are we to judge y’know?” You rant and he nods, “Yeah and everyone’s gonna have their opinions anyway so I’ll just do what feels right.” 

"Exactly!" you exclaim and he smiles, “so anything specific you’re looking for?”

“Honestly not really, I’m not too picky. Just need someone whose funny, sweet, and not hung up over their ex! Bare minimum I’d say.” You explain and he laughs. 

“Had that happen to you, huh?” He teases and you snicker. 

“Is it that obvious?” You ask, making him chuckle, “tad bit but to be fair being hung up over an ex while going into the dating scene is absolutely insane.” 

“Exactly!!! Let's just say that happened while attempting a go at dating last summer. I do not recommend it.” You reply and he bursts out laughing. 

You grin and shake your head, thinking back to that poor man that swore he was done with his ex but yet her name wouldn’t leave his lips during your three dates. 

What a waste of time. 

“I think the bar is in hell nowadays.” He says after calming down and you shrug, “sometimes but eh maybe in here it won’t be so bad.” 

“Yeah, think so?” He asks and you nod. 

“Mhm it doesn’t feel that way yet so that’s good.” You respond, shrugging once again. 

You try to tread carefully because at any point all of these boys could flip as fast as they say they like you and you don’t want to jinx yourself this quickly. 

“Do you have a type?” You ask him and he quickly shakes his head no. 

“I’m all about personality! Because you can have a gorgeous face, body and whatnot but could be the most boring person to talk to and that’s not really what I go for.” He explains making you nod. 

“What do you go for?” You ask and he hums. 

“Obviously I like pretty girls-“

“Obviously.” You quickly cut him off and chuckle.

He snorts then shakes his head, “obviously, I like pretty girls but the ones that have a good head on their shoulders, have a sense of humor, family oriented, and pretty? Hand ‘em over, that’s my type to a tee.” 

“Interestingggg- honestly it’s nice to hear what you all have in your head about what kind of girl you like. It’s fascinating to hear the different variations.” You reply with a smile. 

“Honestly I think all us guys are genuinely trying to find someone. The way we all got after the two bros came in proved that.” He says and turns more to the side to hide his face from the sun. 

“You guys were bricking it huh?” You tease and he shrugs, “maybe a little.”  

“That’s fair and shows you guys care, can only imagine how Peter B was-“ you start then he interrupts, “that man was an absolute fucking menace.” 

You snicker and he grins then continues, “listen I don’t know what you’ve seen but here’s the deal, Jordan took Jazmin and MJ on dates while Raúl took Val and Gwen on dates. Let me just tell you, it was chaos.” 

Your eyes widen and he nods, “when I tell you I thought this villa was going to catch on fire- we were all kinda freaking out and the only one who was fine but also not at the same time for obvious reasons, was Miguel.” 

“Ahhh right! But the rest of you were going crazy.” You tease and he playfully rolls his eyes.

“Well maybe but I mean I feel like Mig wanted them to talk to Dana and for her to fall for the bait but nothing.” He explains and you nod, grasping as much information as you could. 

“I can’t believe you’re giving me more gossip than Peter B.” You joke and he groans, “fuck, I got it from him.” 

“I’m never like this by the way. I personally hate gossiping but I think this place is going to change a lotttt about us.” He defends himself earning himself a giggle from you. 

“Uh huh sureeeee.” You tease and he can’t help but roll his eyes, “whateverrrr.” 

You laugh and he smiles at you, “you have a pretty smile by the way.” 

You stop laughing and give him a toothy grin, “thank you!” 

“Yours is very pretty too.” You compliment and he gives you one right back. 

“You’re really kind! I swear everyone was so afraid that the first girl bombshell was going to be the devil incarnate but they were absolutely wrong. You’re such a sweetheart.” He compliments right back making your face grow warm. 

“Aww thank you! That’s really sweet of you to say, especially given it’s our first proper chat.” You commented, trying your hardest to ignore how hot your face feels. 

“Well what can I say, I can see people for who they are quite fast.” He says smoothly and you just hum, “oh is that right?” 

“Uh huh, for example I said before I feel like Peter B could be a total heartbreaker in a game when the bros came in. Because from the outside looking in, people will assume that MJ will break his heart but I don’t know, something tells me he could have a real rascal side that we’ve yet to see.” He rants then takes a deep breath, letting it out. 

“But I could always be wrong. I’ve been wrong before.” He adds, making you grin. 

“Ah so not a good success rate?” You joke and he squints his eyes as if to think, “maybe like a seventy five percent rate of being correct.” 

“Well I hope you’re wrong because MJ is so nice and from the looks of it, they really like each other.” You reply and he nods, “I hope I am too, I like seeing them together. They compliment each other fairly well.” 

“Definitely do.” You add and he lets out a sigh. 

Suddenly, out of nowhere a wild Jordan appears in front of you, “hey brother, mind if I cut in?” 

“Are you serious-“ David starts to say then is cut off. 

“I was getting boredddd.” Jordan complains and gives a pout. 

“No one told you to go to the kitchen by yourself bro.” David replies and crosses his arms against his chest. 

“Everyone was already in groups-“ Jordan complains again but David wasn’t having it, “Dude it’s always going to be like this and you’re such a social butterfly-“

“But I wanted to be here.” He responds then turns to look at you. 

“What were you doing in the kitchen?” You ask and he grins, “eating breakfast.” 

“Damn so late?” You ask and he nods.

“Yeah I usually like to be chill when I’m eating.” He answers and David quickly adds, “He means he doesn’t like eating with the rest of us.” 

You laugh and shake your head, “that’s not nice Jordan.” 

“It’s not true! But to be fair all the guys inhale their food..” he mumbled making David scoff, “it’s not our fault you’re a slow eater!” 

“Whatever! Anyway…” he says and you bite your lip, looking at them staring each other down. 

They were both giving each other the same look but were both very stubborn and neither wanted to leave. You let them have a little staring competition for a while just to see how long they’d drag it on for.

Turns out, they were both very stubborn. 

But it didn’t take much longer until David gave up and sighed, “alright!” 

He got up and Jordan quickly took his spot while David waved goodbye to you, “I’ll talk to you again later!” 

He nods, giving you a thumbs up then heads towards the daybeds. You turn to look at Jordan, who had a shit eating grin on his face making you laugh, “you’re evil for that.” 

“Listen I know all the boys are gonna hog you so I figured I’d be ballsy and go for it.” He replies and shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Do you think that’ll work out?” You ask and cross one leg over the other, turning your body to face him. 

“Guess we’ll find out won’t we?” He murmurs and his tone sent shivers down your spine, “that we will.”

“Alright tell me everything!” You exclaim and he perks up, “what do you wanna know?” 

“Everything!!” You respond, making him grin. 

“Did you have a different career path, besides the modeling?” You ask out of curiosity and he nods, “I did actually start off with med school before modeling.”

“Oh really?” You ask and lean in, wanting to carefully listen. 

“Yeah, I mean it was my dream for ages but then I did some modeling work for a friend who was in the industry and I ended up really liking it.” He exclaims and you gasp.

“Well I guess that explains the concerns with sugar as the girls would say-“ you joke and he scoffs then cuts you off, “Oh that- well yeah that’s the reason why,” he laughs.

You chuckle then ask, “how’d you know modeling was for you?” 

“It took quite a bit for me to figure that out, I was on my second semester as a sophomore when I decided to take a leap of faith and switch majors. It was so fun the first few times being in front of a camera, it felt like I was in my element and as sad as it is, I didn’t feel that way when I was starting med school. It was like the process of denial to acceptance.” He explains in great detail and you took in every word. 

“That sounds like a hard choice to make…” you respond and he chuckles, “sounds about right.” 

“At first it was hard letting my dream go just because the switch was so fast but honestly it was so worth it. I’m much happier.” He exclaims and you give him a wide grin, “Aw that’s good! I can’t imagine how scary it was, especially since it’s two very different things.” 

“It absolutely was! But I had an amazing support system and my friend was really so helpful with the change. Helped me out with shoots, and recommending me to people she knew.” He explains, making you chuckle. 

“I love that for you! Then in that case I bet it was fairly easy to do the promo before coming in here.” You joke and he grins, “it was a piece of cake.” 

“How’d you find that?” He asks and you chuckle, “not too bad!” 

“It was honestly fun and for the most part I said things that I’ve already told you all last night! Plus some extra things..” you explain and he raises an eyebrow, “like what?”

“Like how I was going to step on as many toes as humanly possible!” You exclaim, making him grin, “I think you’re doing a perfect job at that so far.” 

“You think so?” You ask and he nods, “yeah you’re definitely bombshelling how you should be.” 

“Then thank god, I’m doing my job correctly.” You joke, earning yourself a laugh. 

“And that’s not counting you ignoring the Peter’s.” He says and you shrug, “that seems like too much work but I’m sure another gal would be more than happy to give it a shot.” 

“Honestly think it’ll take a lot to broke those two couples, they’ve been solid from the start. From what I’m told anyway, MJ and Peter B hit it off as soon as they coupled up.” He says and you raise an eyebrow, “really?” 

“Yep! Honestly good for them, I mean every season’s gotta have a solid couple right? Just ours, we have two.” He says, making you chuckle. 

“Oh wait, can you tell me how things are going with Jazmin?” You ask and he instantly nods, “‘course!”

“I gravitated towards her because I thought she had a mysterious type of vibe, very nonchalant which is what I usually go for on the outside but once we coupled up she opened up and I’ve liked the difference! Being able to see how someone truly is, is something so special.” He explains and you swear you could see how his eyes lit up. 

It was cute. 

“Now saying this doesn’t mean I’m not open to exploring. We’ve only been coupled up two days now and it’s the earliest of days so I’m not saying no to exploring.” He finishes and then takes a deep breath, “damn that was a lot! My bad.” 

He laughs and you wave him off, “no worries! It’s exactly what I wanted to know and you gave it to me so yeah.” 

He chuckles and nods, “sorry I just have a tendency of not knowing when to shut up but not like Peter B, he’s a whole other case.” 

It was your turn to laugh which only had him grinning ear to ear. Him saying that just had you realizing how much of a yapper Peter B was and he was right, he could never compare himself to how much of a blabber mouth that man is.

He was in his own category of yapper. 

Now as the saying goes, speak of the devil and he shall appear. 

Apparently all good things come to an unexpected end, you heard Peter B yelling. You looked up and he was sprinting towards you guys, meanwhile you heard Jordan groan. 

You stifled a laugh back and he finally stood in front of you, catching his breath, damn near heaving with a hand on his chest. 

“G-Give me a s-sec-“ he pants and you cover your mouth with your hand not wanting to laugh in either of their faces. 

“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” Jordan jokes and Peter B looks at him, trying to conceal a smirk but looking at Jordan’s face had him failing miserably. 

“Yep sorry pal your times up, let’s go have a boys chat.” Peter B says with a wide grin and lightly pats his shoulder for him to get up. 

Jordan rolls his eyes and when he stands up, Pete gives you a wink making you snicker. Jordan looked back at you and you closed your mouth and pretended to look elsewhere. 

“Someone give my man an award for best wingman because oh my lord-“ he says and pretends to fan Peter B, “alright yeah someone should, c’mon bud.” 

“Guess he’s the real evil man huh, Y/n?” He jokes and you burst out laughing. 

Peter B wraps his arm around his shoulder and quickly takes him away to the kitchen. At that point you could hear the laughter from some of the guys but you don’t look over just slipping a few laughs out. 

You looked to the rest of the villa finding Gwen, Val, and MJ on the sun loungers by the pool. You could see Dana talking to Raúl by the sitting area near the girls and your eyes scanned more to the right. 

You did think about going to pull Daniel for a chat next but he was still on the daybed with Jazmin, this time they were alone and he was playing with her braids. It was cute. 

It was safe to assume the rest were in the kitchen. Besides one person. 

So you stood up and decided to make your way to the gym, finding it surprising the person you were looking for could be there all day but also it made sense because of his stature. 

You admired him for a few seconds, he had the weight bench facing the mirror on the wall so you could only see his arms but as he extended his arms in and out using those big weights, there were no complaints. 

Quickly realizing the others could probably see you ogle him in real time you clear your throat and step to the side so he could see you, “In the mood for some company?” You speak up and Miguel turns his head to look at you. 

“For you, always.” He responds with a warm smile instantly giving you goosebumps.  

He stands up and carries the weights to the stand, putting them at the very end. He then motioned for you to sit down on the bench and he grabbed two from the other end where they weighed less. 

“Saved the best for last again huh?” He teased and you instantly responded, “You’re not last.” 

“Well for serious contenders I’d have to say I am.” He says in the most confident tone making you bite your lip while taking a seat on the bench. 

“Oh really?” You test and he nods, “Yeah Peter is going to be a tough nut to crack and Danny is committed after Jordan snatched up Jazmin.” 

“Hmm then I guess I did.” You tease, throwing your phone on the floor and he pouts. 

He straightens you up, and moves your legs to proper form before showing you how to lift the weight. You look at his arm, noticing every inch of definition and how there’s a vein popping out on the side with every curl he did. 

It was quite a sight and that’s with you trying your hardest to ignore he was also shirtless. You were God’s bravest soldier right now. 

You snapped out of your thoughts when he handed you the weights, now paying attention to not drop them. You grabbed them tightly and looked down to see they were each ten pounds, not too bad. 

“You sure you’re not a personal trainer?” You tease making him smirk, “oh this is nothing.”

You blink, absolutely speechless and he grins, “c’mon, do a couple for me.” 

His tone left you speechless and in that moment you couldn’t help but do exactly as he said. He showed you how to do it again except this time he didn’t have the weights but you got the jist. 

You followed his steps, curling your bicep up, holding for a few seconds then letting go and bringing your arm down. “There ya go, like that.” 

His praise unexpectedly made your skin burn up as if it were on fire, your face burning the most. 

He looked at you intently as you did more for him and as if he had an epiphany he gasps, “You’ve been out here in the blaring sun and haven’t put sun block on yet? Don’t be careless!” 

You stop and shrug, putting the weights down while he grabs a bottle that was by the mirror, “oops?”

He scoffs and shakes his head, “oops?” He mocks and playfully rolls his eyes. 

He hands you the bottle then puts his hands on his hips waiting to see you use it. You open the bottle, squirting a small amount to start on your face. 

You rub it into your face, making sure to get every bit and quickly noticing that your skin was quite warm. And it wasn’t just because of the sun. 

But if he dared to ask, you’re blaming the sun. 

You put another dollop into your hand and rubbed it onto your chest and shoulders. With the extra you had on your hands, you put it all over your stomach and he playfully shook his head at you. 

You chuckle and shrug, “honestly didn’t cross my mind.”

“Having too much fun?” He asks and you nod, “the best time.” 

You stood up, did the same to your legs, even lifting the skirt up a bit to put some on your thighs. Meanwhile he was watching so intently you could physically feel it. 

“It’s not nice to stare y’know?” You tease under your breath then look up at him with a sheepish grin on his face. 

“Oops.”

You bit your lip and rolled your eyes at him, doing it on purpose because this was fun. 

And what could make it more fun if not, doing the most obvious thing ever?

“Mind getting my back?” You ask and stick out the bottle towards him. 

He happily accepts it and you lift all your hair up while he gently rubs it into your skin. You flinched for the tiniest second because it was somehow still cold but relaxed after he rubbed it in. 

His hands felt soft but firm. It felt great. 

He reached your shoulders then underneath your bikini straps then slowly making his way down. This whole thing felt so intimate and it sent shivers down your spine. The close proximity was also doing things to your brain but it was the physical touch that was the cherry on top. 

Then they were gone and you had to stop yourself from frowning. “Thank you!”

“Anytime, just don’t forget about it!” He says and you nod, turning back around to face him, “promise I won’t.” 

“Okay good.” He says and he sits down on the grass. 

You follow his lead sitting down, then grabbing your phone and slipping it under your leg before extending your legs out in front of him. 

You took that moment to look at him. He looked absolutely gorgeous under the rays of the sun, his skin was glowing and he looked as handsome as ever. 

He apparently took that opportunity to do the same thing to you, just admiring you to take advantage that he had you in front of him. 

You locked eyes and you smiled at him with him giving you one right back. There was silence between you and you didn’t mind it, just enjoying each other’s presence in the moment. 

It was relaxing and quite frankly, you could spend all day looking at him if you could. Even stare into his eyes like you were now. 

You held eye contact with him for way longer than you thought, making you grow more nervous by the second but at the same time you didn’t mind it. You welcomed that feeling since it’s the whole point of being here. 

All of a sudden, you felt your phone vibrate against your leg and you quickly grabbed it to see you received a text. You gasped, standing up then quickly in the loudest voice you could muster screamed, “I GOT A TEXTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!” 

Within seconds all the islanders were on their feet and running to get closer to hear, once all of them were close enough to hear you, you read it out. 

“Islanders, tonight there will be a recoupling. The girls will choose which boy they want to recouple with and the boy not picked will be dumped from the island. As the newest bombshell, Y/n will have first pick. #ManDown #StepUpYourGame” 

There was silence, no one said a word not even Peter B, who was clearly trying his hardest to keep his mouth shut. You took a deep breath in then let it out, feeling the nerves in your belly starting to grow. 

You felt a hand intertwine with yours and you look to your right to find MJ, “you’ll do fine, you’ll pick what’s best for you.” 

“God I sure hope so.” You mumble and she squeezes your hand while Gwen comes over and gives you a side hug. 

Now it was really starting to feel real and the worst part was that someone would be leaving. You needed to make up your mind, and fast. But without making a dumb decision because this would be pivotal to the remainder of the upcoming weeks. 

Who were you going to choose?

next part

[flawseer]

On the False Dragonets of Destiny

Recycled art... Forgive me, I can't physically draw more than I currently am.

Just a little while ago I was looking at some replies to my recent work, and I noticed a nice comment from someone who expressed they enjoyed my comics featuring the false dragonets of destiny, but couldn't really get into them in the books. I am thankful for that comment, but even more thankful for the opportunity to ramble at length about something I kind of wanted to talk about, but couldn't find a plausible excuse for. Until now.

All of this is just my reading of the material, of course. You don't need to agree with me on this.

Content Warning: Some discussion of abuse, trauma, violence. I don't know if it's severe enough to warrant a warning, but better be safe.

General discussion

The false dragonets of destiny, the alternates, or whatever one wants to call them. They enter the story proper in book 4, after having made a few minor cameo appearances before, and serve as a kind of hybrid antagonistic force and pseudo-allies for Starflight during his stay on the Nightwing Isle. During that time, they are very abrasive, stand-offish, uncooperative, and a bit annoying, and I guess that doesn't make them come off very well. But like, in spite of that or maybe partially because of it, I am really fond of these guys, and I'd like to take some time talking them up to you.

One can examine how these guys act and conclude that they are a bunch of dysfunctional screw-ups. And they absolutely are that, don't get me wrong. But one should keep in mind: the majority of the time they are in the spotlight, they are in an extreme, tense, and frighteningly uncertain situation. It's easy to forget how stressful these situations are because the books as a whole really like to gloss over the more frightening kind of subjects on account of being written for young readers. You can't really go deep into themes of abuse, trauma, and depression in a story like that without tripping over some kind of censor on the way, but the implications are there, between the lines for you to find.

Understanding the group

Who are the false dragonets of destiny? They are posited as a mirror image of the true dragonets of destiny, who have all been extensively schooled in matters of education and martial prowess. The first thing we see THIS group do on page is brawl, so one may think they must be trained and capable fighters. Viper and Flame constantly throw around death threats and aggressive quips, so one may think they are hyper-violent and dangerous. They are neither. Nautilus admits the Talons haven't bothered training them at all, they haven't seen real combat, they've likely been deliberately kept away from the war as a whole. Flame doesn't even know how to use his fire breath correctly. Starflight, who is by far the least physically adept of the arc 1 protagonists, is able to outpace them even as four of them team up against him.

They are neither killers nor a crack team of badasses, rather they are a bunch of play-fighting, posing delinquents who talk a big game with little in terms of actual skill to back it up. Realizing this is key to understanding just how out of their depth and ill-equipped they are to handle anything that gets thrown at them on the Nightwing homeland, especially past the negotiations at the Skywing outpost.

Abduction and imprisonment

When Starflight first finds them, they have been on the Nightwing Isle for a good while, and they are suitably bristly because of it.

Look at this situation from their perspective. These guys have known nothing other than their semi-peaceful life in the Talon camp. Then the leader of that camp, Nautilus--a figure they all know and trust, essentially sells them to a frightening stranger, who looms over them and is so physically large he could crush each of them easily. This stranger pulls them away from their home without even giving them a chance to say goodbye to their relatives (I'm convinced Avalanche would not have let Morrowseer take her son if there was a chance to intervene, so Flame must have already been gone when she found out).

A contingent of Nightwing awaits them, blindfolds them so they don't know where the entrance to the Nightwing home is. They pass through a kind of eldritch tunnel that pulls at their souls. When they are finally allowed to see again, they find themselves trapped on an island where there is no sunlight and every breath hurts as the air is thick with ash.

The Nightwings won't let them leave, in fact they don't know if they will ever be able to leave again. Nobody tells them what's going on, what they are meant to do, or what the plan is. They are left confined in some room with nothing to do, and they (sans Fatespeaker) can't go outside without being arrested. Food is brought very infrequently, and usually inedible, so they haven't eaten since they were forced to leave home. They don't know where they are, nor where their parents are, nor if their parents know where THEY are. They are completely cut off from anywhere, isolated, trapped in this little slice of hell with no means to escape and little hope to acquire any soon.

I think if I was in a situation like that, I would be pretty cranky too. More than that, I would be scared out of my wits, and I believe that they are as well. If you look at their actions through a lens of them being frightened, their irritating quirks suddenly become very relatable. Viper is coping by throwing out threats and making herself seem bigger and scarier than the thing trapping her. Flame makes offensive jokes about killing Fatespeaker because making light of the situation helps him keep his wits together. Ochre is hard to read, but I think he's just tuning everything out. Squid is convinced that his father--who is the most important and smart dragon in all of Pyrrhia--has made the correct choice and knows what's best for all of them. And Fatespeaker is in complete denial, choosing to trust an inaccurate vision of the future while ignoring all the red flags that don't fit into it.

I think it's interesting that you can read this as all of them having a different strategy to cope with the uncertain and frightening situation they're trapped in. That's part of why I like them; they're very flawed and make interesting decisions.

Trauma and Empathy

You can look at someone like Squid and see his surface traits: He is annoying, he whines and complains constantly, he brags about who his father is, and he seems completely incapable of doing anything useful. If this guy was in any other story, I would probably dislike him. But Squid has the benefit of being a whiny dweeb in a situation where it is very appropriate to whine and be scared. He has a scene where he makes a somewhat goofy speech at Morrowseer where he calls him stupid and wants to go home, and is subsequently exiled. It's a bit silly in execution, but for me it did succeed in making me feel bad for Squid as he desperately and pathetically pleads for Morrowseer not to send him to his death.

But then you can read beyond the lines a little and view the scene in the full context that isn't really dwelt on. Here, you've got Squid, who is inept even among his peers, sheltered and doted on by his father, whom he has never been away from for any real amount of time until now. This guy, who probably can't even feed himself (otherwise he might have been able to catch fish in the waters around the island), keeps telling himself that his father has a plan, that all of this, even the questionable stuff, is happening for a reason. He hasn't eaten in weeks and he's been the punching bag for everyone else's frustrations (because Fatespeaker is not around enough, hanging out with Starflight). Now he has been chased halfway across the world, forced to cross the ocean while tired and starving, to be told he has to talk to a bunch of violent strangers who hate his kind and want to kill him. He tries to hide but is grabbed by the throat and held in the air by a soldier twice his size. This is likely the first time his life has ever been threatened that directly and with genuine intent.

The strange new Nightwing who was sent with them somehow manages to deescalate the situation enough to save him, but then, without warning, more dragons burst into the room. Suddenly everything is on fire, including the soldiers who just a moment ago threatened him. He is close enough to them to watch their forms twist and writhe in agony as they slowly burn to death.

As he is made to watch this horrifying spectacle, all the feelings he repressed by reminding himself of the faith he has in his father come flooding back in at once. It becomes too much for him to bear, and he breaks. He starts crying and verbally lashes out at their abuser for the horrid conditions they have been placed in and demands--half asserting and half pleading--to be allowed to go home. This isn't really whining anymore, this is a full-scale mental breakdown, rendered to be simple and digestible to a young audience. Imagine how harrowing this scene could have been if it wasn't filtered through a child-friendly narrative.

Closing thoughts

There is a scene some time after that I found kind of poignant. At one point, Starflight looks out and he sees Flame just standing out there, silently staring into the distance. There's maybe one line dedicated to it, and when you read the book normally, you don't really dwell on it since it's so nondescript. But this scene happens shortly after the visit to the remote outpost. The soldiers that burned to death in there were all Skywings. Skywings like himself, and like his mother, who also was a soldier before she joined the Talons. Whenever I picture him standing there, I imagine he is reliving that moment, hearing the dying screams of his kinsmen. I think he will be hearing them forever.

So in conclusion: The reason why I like the alternate dragonets so much is because of the enormous, untapped potential they possess as characters, and how deep some of them run if you take some time to look at them. I feel like all of them have a story to tell, and it's a bit of a shame that Sutherland likely won't come around to telling any of them. If I had infinite time, money, and energy, I would love to make many more comics about them, as they are an interesting lot.

Especially Flame's story I feel is such a heartbreaking tragedy, and thinking about the way it ended saddens me. He's one of my six all-time favorite characters in the series, I wish he could have gone out in a happier, healthier way.