#but that's a problem for future!Bobbi

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 5, day 30

Refined the wind animation a little bit! The trees still don't move as much as I want them to (there IS some movement in there, I swear!) but the grass and flowers are looking real nice :)

So! I've moved on! To trying to figure out Cinta's magic! Which means crashing multiple other tutorial into each other and hoping something works out lol

[yakichoufd]

part 1 of a smut comic

[motelhoneyy]

I FINISHED MY FINALS

IM FREEEEEE (for like 3/4 weeks BUT STILL FREE)

[schrijverr]

this fic is kicking my ass, but by god i will win!

[such-geekiness]

.

[monsterineveryone]

//Getting to the episode where Sam marries Becky and refusing to watch another ep because I'm not ending this year with Bobby's death <3

Happy New Year everyone! I'm going to start being active here again this week for sure.

[winter-parrot]

making my official entrance into the 911 fandom / bucktommy with a fic for #bucktommyhiatusevent week one: home.

buck looks for home in the aftermath of season 8. | 2.5k

now on ao3 as well!

------------

Turns out living in your car is not like riding a bicycle. His body does not magically remember how to fold up into the back seat of his Jeep and fall asleep. If anything, it feels like the space has somehow shrunk since the last time he’s done this. Although, that might have something to do with how much he’s bulked up in the last seven years since he settled in LA and became a firefighter.

It’s alright. It’s not like he’d really expected better. He’d hoped, sure. He’d hoped for a lot of things, things that did not include sleeping in his car. But hope is in short supply these days, and it’s not about to make a surprise appearance for anything so trivial as Buck’s apartment hunting woes.

It was only supposed to be for a day or two, is the thing. Just until he could find a new place to move into. But one day stretched into two into three, and somehow he’s already in his second week of car-living. His bad leg started protesting on day five, and now his back is joining in. He suspects every muscle in his body will rebel against him, one by one by one, within the next week.

The problem is, he has nowhere else to go. Nowhere has felt right. It’s not like he hasn’t tried, either. He’s been doing nothing but apartment hunting in his free time—not like there’s a whole lot else to do, living in his car—and the real estate agent helping him seems increasingly ready to stab him just to get this endless search over with. He doesn’t blame her, at this point. It feels like he’s seen every available apartment within a two-hour radius of the station house.

And yet, not a single one has felt right. Has felt like a place he could call his own, a place that might become home.

Maybe the problem is actually bigger than an apartment. Maybe the problem is just him, all of him and the hopeless needy wanting thing in his chest. Maybe he’s just Bucking it up, like always. Maybe there’s actually no right place for him in LA, and he’s just an idiot chasing a pipe dream.

It’s not so far fetched a thought, really. He keeps finding himself wanting things he’s never going to find. Things that would be hard enough to get one of, never mind all together—and that’s even before he considers LA real estate and his own less-than-impressive budget.

Knowing it’s unrealistic doesn’t stop him from wanting, as always. He longs for exposed beams and brick walls and a long dark dining table, like the firehouse. Wonders briefly if that’s why he liked his old place; the layout vaguely resembled the firehouse, with the open plan and the loft. Has to stop himself before he gets maudlin about missing the loft, on top of everything else. He pictures a big back yard with a grill, like Bo— like Athena’s old place. Makes himself stop imagining before his thoughts can stray to Bobby, to all the times he stood in that familiar space, cooking or hosting a party or manning the grill like he never will again. Thinks instead of a bright sunny living room and a big garage for his bike and his jeep and his side projects, like he’d seen at… well. Like he’d seen in someone else’s house a few times, months ago.

Those months ago feels like a different lifetime, now. Back then, he had a loft he liked well enough. He had a job he loved. He had Bobby and backyard barbecues and shared dinners. He had a family in the 118. He had a best friend whom he could always turn to, whose child he loved like his own. He had a boyfriend he could envision an actual future with.

Now, he’s got no solid roof over his head; a job he’s still debating transferring out of, never mind his cancelled transfer request; no Bobby, no backyard barbecues, no family dinners; no family that needs him or even wants him around; a best friend who maybe hates him for making things about himself, again; and no boyfriend. It’d almost be funny, how fast and hard everything fell apart, if it wasn’t his own life he had to live through every day.

He considers, vaguely, the possibility that Maddie may have accidentally cursed him, back when she told him he had to learn to be alone. Here he is, all alone now, and learning that same lesson again for the thousandth time. You’d think it would get easier over time, but somehow each review seems to make it worse and worse. It’s also possible he accidentally cursed himself, when he complained to Eddie about everything falling apart. If only he’d known back then just how far away rock bottom still was. Or it could be that he was simply cursed from birth. Couldn’t save Daniel, couldn’t do the one thing he was literally born to do; couldn’t ever make his parents happy, no matter how much he tried; couldn’t get Maddie to come with him, when he was running towards freedom and wanted her at his side; couldn’t ever stop a partner from leaving him behind, no matter how much he loved them and loved them and loved them.

Doesn’t really matter why or how, really. Point is, he’s pretty sure there has to be some kind of curse upon him. Everyone else seems to have somebody, but he’s always the one left behind. Left alone. Sleeping in his car, because he doesn’t even have a couch he can reliably crash on.

He can’t go to Maddie and Chimney; they have a newborn infant at home, on top of Chimney’s soon-to-be captaincy, and recovering from Maddie’s kidnapping barely rhree months ago. Can’t go to Athena, can’t intrude on her and May and Harry’s grief, not when they lost the most out of them all. Can’t go to Hen, barging in on her and her family when Mara’s still settling in and everyone is fragile. Can’t go to Eddie, can’t… well. Can’t do much with Eddie at all, right now. Can’t go to Ravi, because they might be friends but they’re not that kind of friends, not yet, and maybe not for years yet while the grief sits between them looming larger than their friendship. Can’t go to Tommy, because Buck’s not his problem anymore—anyway he’s done more than enough for Buck already, what with stealing a helicopter to piss off the Army and bearing Bobby’s casket with them.

Can’t go to the firehouse, because for all that it felt like home, he can’t actually live there. Besides, it doesn’t really feel like home anymore. Not with Gerrard in the captain’s office, and no family dinners, and a cavernous yawning chasm cutting through everything that no one will talk about. Not without Bobby.

So he’s stuck in the car. He could shell out for a hotel room for a few nights, probably, but that’s expensive. And it just feels stupid, too. Like admitting defeat. He used to do this all the time, in that stretch of time between driving away from Maddie and ending up at the fire academy. Being a failed Navy SEAL or ranch hand-ing or bartending in Peru was all fun and good, he doesn’t regret it, but it hadn’t exactly left him flush with cash. Hadn’t been very stable or reliable, for that matter. He’d thought he’d left that part of his life behind him, when he finally settled at the fire academy and settled into his own skin, but well. Life’s full circle, or something like that.

Buck drives aimlessly, letting the hour turn late in the hopes that sheer exhaustion will overcome the mounting discomfort of not sleeping in a bed. Or maybe not so aimlessly; the clock is just ticking over midnight when he looks around to realize habit or fate or his goddamn curse has brought him to a familiar neighbourhood.

Stupid. This was such a bad idea. This wasn’t the kind of neighbourhood where you could get away with just parking on the side of the street in a strange car and sleeping the night. Someone was going to call the cops on him, if he tried that. He should drive away, leave it behind, and find a parking lot or something.

But now that he’s here, now that he’s so close, the hopeless needy wanting thing in his chest is clawing at the insides of his ribs like a caged beast. He can’t stop himself from driving on instead of turning around like he most definitely should. He doesn’t have it in him to resist, is worn too paper-thin in and threadbare to put up any more of a fight than a wet paper bag. Isn’t even sure he wants to, really, even if he is sure that he should.

The lights are dark in the house, because it’s getting on 12:30 now and sane people have gone to bed. He really should leave, now. Shouldn’t interrupt the peace of this night, crashing into it like a wrecking ball. Shouldn’t disturb Tommy and bleed his petty troubles all over him, any more than he should bother Chim or Maddie or Hen or Athena with it. All the reasons why he can’t go to Tommy haven’t magically disappeared just because he’s somehow ended up in front of Tommy’s house.

But the hopeless needy wanting thing in Buck’s chest is holding the reins, now. It kinda feels like he’s watching someone else move, like that hopeless needy wanting thing has taken over his body. Hopeless-needy-wanting-Buck pulls the Jeep right up into the driveway. Kills the engine and locks the door behind him once he gets out. Walks up to the door on legs that are only slightly unsteady. Knocks.

There’s no answer, because duh. It’s 12:30 at night. Tommy might not even be home, might be on shift at Harbour. Or on a romantic date with someone that ends up at their house, not his. Or watching Buck through a gap in the curtains somewhere, wondering why the hell his ex won’t leave him the fuck alone and hoping Buck just goes away.

The thought hurts, but he wouldn’t blame Tommy for it. Not after what he said in that kitchen, setting his second—third?—chance ablaze faster than an uncontrolled wildfire in the peak of August heat. Even if the idea of Eddie being competition is more ridiculous than ever, and hurts in a whole new way now.

Buck stands there, blank in the throbbing ache of his heart and his body. Could’ve been for thirty seconds or thirty minutes, he’s not sure. Time’s been getting a little hazy at the edges, these past weeks, and the simple act of digging out his phone to check feels like an insurmountable effort. It’s like all the exhaustion has caught up to him, all at once. He debates the merits of just going to sleep right there, curled up on Tommy’s front steps like a stray cat.

The door opens. Buck doesn’t register it for a second, not until a sleep-rough voice is saying his name. “Evan?”

Adrenaline spikes through his veins, wakes him right back up and deposits him rudely back into his body. Oh God, he’s really doing this. He’s really done this, shown up at Tommy’s door in the dead of night like the world’s worst uninvited houseguest. “T-tommy, I’m sorry. I just, I-I- I should go, I’m sorry. I didn’t—“

There’s a hand on his arm, a touch so gentle he can barely feel it. It shuts him right up anyway. There’s no room in Buck’s brain for anything other than the warmth and strength of Tommy’s big hand, palpable even through his shirt.

“Do you want to come inside?” Tommy asks, searching Buck’s face. “You look like you could use some sleep. And maybe a friendly face.” Tommy’s lips press shut after that, pinched at the corners like he didn’t mean to say that. He swallows tightly and looks away, avoiding Buck’s eyes.

Buck is fascinated by the click of his throat, but not more than he’s enraged by the uncertainty behind the motion. Tommy, who showed up for him and for Chim in defiance of the Army and the FBI and Incident Command. Tommy, who flew the most insane evasive maneuvers like it was nothing, and then almost got himself arrested for it. Tommy, who made him a feast for breakfast and bought a bottle of hopeful champagne that went to his waste after that single, beautiful night at the house that was never Buck’s. Tommy should never sound so uncertain. And Buck is the one who put that hesitation there, with his stupid words that mornin after. Maybe not all of it, maybe some of it predates his own mistakes, but enough.

The anger unsticks his mouth long enough to say, “You’re the friendliest face I’ve seen in weeks.” Means it, too. Except maybe Christopher, but thinking about him leads to Eddie, and he can’t. He just can’t, not right now.

Tommy looks back up at him, a glimmer in his eyes that fades into concern. He looks at Buck, really looks at Buck; Buck feels seen for maybe the first time since… since the lab. He’s terrified that Tommy will see all the ugly parts, the rotting grief and the worn-down useless bits of him that can’t even do the one thing Bobby asked him to. Can’t keep them together, can’t help anyone, can’t be needed. Can’t be enough for anybody.

Tommy finishes his assessment. Steps back. Speaks, before Buck can fully begin to panic about having the door slammed shut in his face. “Tell me about it?” He takes another step back, pulling the door open wider. Inviting Buck into his life, his heart, his home.

Buck takes the invitation, and walks in.

[backofftubby]

I think part of the fandom needs to take a long hard look in the mirror. In which reality is this ok? It’s not.

I know the fandom is upset and sad. So am I. Gonna miss Bobby (and Peter) so much, and the show is never gonna be the same. I understand it’s hard. And it’s a loss, a big one. And the pain should never be downplayed or made to be silly.

But shitting on the hard work of the actors, directors, writers, crew etc. is not an accentable way to cope or show/deal with that grief. It’s also not ’not a big deal’. IMDB is a serious site and while I don’t think it has really any effect on the show (as everyone involved with the shows future knows why the ratings is so low, other factors will be more important on the future of the show.), the rating is important for the directors, editors etc. of that specifuc episode. It’s part of their CV.

Giving one star reviews is disrespectful, end off. And even worse are the so called fans of the show who make videos/post encouraging people to leave one start reviews and boycott the show. That’s just malicious.

Of course there are valid reasons to give a bad review, in the end of the day many things are up to opinion. But simply the amazing work of the actors makes the episode better than one star. Giving one star is not giving a bad review, it’s something else, childish and malicious.

I have no problem with people wanting to stop watching, you should never watch something that you don’t enjoy anymore. But trying to get others to boycott is not ok. The only effect the boycott might have is cancellation of the show. And that is never an ok goal. Unless of course the whole show and most people involved are highly problematic. But that’s not the case here. If you think by boycotting you can ~change things, you are awfully naive.

Want to show the creators you are not happy? Rant on social media, unfollow them, don’t interact them, stop watching. There are plenty of better ways.

As you can see, I’ve given the episodes 10 starts, and I feel a bit silly doing that. I feel 8 or so would have been my review normally. But I just had to do something to counteract this lunacy.

[setmeatopthepyre]

Since you asked:

BT - Having their hair washed by the other 😘

okay so. I didn't actually get to the hair washing but. it is mentioned? oops. set post-8x15 in some nebulous near-future after Buck gets injured (how? who knows. who cares!) so heads up for spoilers and references to events in 8x11 and 8x15.

[bucktommy | 1043 words | spoilers for 8x11 and 8x15]

-

“My hair feels gross,” Evan groans, wincing as he runs the fingers of his left hand through his - definitely greasy - curls.

“Good morning to you, too,” Tommy deadpans, turning back to-- whatever he’d been doing when Evan had walked in, sleep-rumpled and scowling and fidgeting with his sling, his shirt, his hair.

Fruit. Right. He’d been cutting up fruit. He takes a deep, steadying breath, trying not to think of the last time they’d been here, in this kitchen, with Tommy making breakfast. Right after they’d hooked up. Right before Evan had told him he didn’t have feelings for him.

Evan is silent for a while. Tommy can’t help but glance up. Their eyes meet, and something open and vulnerable and complicated looks back at him. His voice is soft, still a little gravelly with sleep when he finally speaks. “Thank you.”

“Hm?”

Evan steps closer, hesitant. “For being here,” he clarifies. “For me.”

It isn’t a question, and there is no pretending he’s doing this it for someone else, for Howie, this time. Not like back in the helicopter, before he’d admitted to it anyway, before Bobby--

Tommy clears his throat. Nods. “Of course.” He puts down the knife, rinses and dries his hands. Immediately regrets not having something to do with his hands anymore.

“I could help,” he offers, and Evan blinks at him. “With your hair. I could--” he glances around the kitchen, “-- could move a chair in here, have you sit by the sink, wash your hair like that? Since, you know, your arm--”

Shit, was he overstepping? Had Evan mentioned it because he wanted help, or was he just making an observation? Maybe Evan was perfectly fine in the shower using just his left arm, maybe he wasn’t as full-body sore as he thought he would be, maybe--

“You’ve seen me naked before,” Evan says, head tipped to the side a little.

“That was different,” he replies.

“Was it?” The look in his eyes is a little daring, a little dangerous.

“Wasn’t it?” Tommy retorts, arms crossing across his chest.

“You’re here,” Evan says, like that should be answer enough.

“To help you.”

“You always do.”

Yes, Tommy wants to say, because I’m crazy about you, but that’s my problem, not yours. He doesn’t. Instead, he says, “I could leave, if you don’t want me to.”

“I don’t want you to,” Evan says, and Tommy is distantly surprised to find his heart is still capable of cracking a little more. Evan’s eyes widen. “Uh--” he says. “Leave,” he adds.

Tommy uncrosses his arms, flexes his hands, pats his pockets for his keys-wallet-phone. “I don’t-- I don’t want you to leave.” Evan stumbles over his words, steps closer with sure steps, winces at the movement. “Tommy.”

He’s close now, big blue eyes searching, and Tommy feels his resolve crumble again. Jesus, he really is gone for this kid. It's going to be the death of him, one of these days. He's sure of it.

He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, tries to locate his spine somewhere in the meantime. When his eyes open again, Evan is still looking at him, eyes wide and pleading.

“Please,” Evan says.

“Ok,” Tommy’s mouth replies before his brain can catch up. “Ok, but, Evan--” he reaches out on auto-pilot, catches himself in time, drops his hand again, Evan’s eyes tracking his every movement. “I want to help you. But if this doesn’t mean anything to you--” he forces himself to say, “-- then I don’t think I-- I can’t--” his mouth is too dry all of a sudden, his eyes too wet.

He doesn’t realize he’s looked away until Evan lets out a pained hiss and plants one big, warm hand on Tommy’s elbow at the same time. “What-- What do you mean?” he asks.

Tommy feels like an idiot, feels like he’s ripping open his chest and painting a big red bullseye on his heart, but he’s started this and so he has to see it through. He thinks of Bobby. Thinks of Evan in that hallway. He breathes in, meets Evan’s gaze. Tries to feel brave. Doesn’t. Decides to act like it anyway.

“I love you,” he says, feeling like someone’s gripping his vocal chords and squeezing tight. “I know you don’t, uh, have feelings for everyone you sleep with, but I do. Have feelings for you. I love you, Evan. I want--” He forces air into his lungs and out again. “I want to help you, I want to be there for you, but if you don’t-- if you--”

Evan is staring at him, his mouth open just a little bit. It should look dumb. It does, kind of. But it’s Evan.

Tommy’s not sure what words he’s said and hasn’t said, feels like they’re all sticking to the roof of his mouth, desperately wants a glass of water but can’t look away. He tries for another breath instead. “You know I can’t say no to you,” he says, voice cracking a little pathetically. “So please don’t ask me to.”

Evan is still staring. His eyes sparkle like a galaxy has just blinked into existence inside of them. Tommy’s hands itch. Evan’s hand has fallen away from his elbow.

He should probably leave.

“You’re not running,” Evan says faintly.

Tommy doesn’t know what to say to that, feels caught.

“You’re still here,” Evan says, the corners of his mouth curling up. God, he’s beautiful. “Y-You said all that, and you’re still here.”

“I… am?” He’s not sure he means it as a question, can’t really think about it with how Evan is looking at him. Beaming at him. Something hopeful carefully unfurls in his chest. It should hurt more than it does.

“You’re here. A-and you love me. Me.”

Tommy searches Evan’s face, tries to find anything, any little hint that he’s about to get his heart dashed against the rocks again. He doesn’t find it. He nods. “I am.” His throat feels rough. “I do.”

Evan reaches out, suddenly, winces again but that wide, wide grin is right back on his face in a heartbeat as he takes Tommy’s hand in his uninjured one. “Tommy,” he says. “Help me wash my hair?”

Tommy swallows.

“Of course,” he says.

-

[now on ao3]

[redrage71890]

KPop Demon Hunters Fic Idea

Been looking forward to this movie since the trailer!

BOY I WASN’T DISAPPOINTED!

As soon as I finished the movie, I went through withdrawal symptoms. I love this movie so much I’m praying for the fics and fanart to satisfy my hyperfixation.

SO I HAVE A FIC IDEA! HEAR ME OUT!

(P.s: my personal taste in fics tend to be more oc/mc based with sometimes various characters)

So there’s always been three hunters to create the honmoon and it has continued that for generations. But in recent times, the hunters discover a fourth hunter that has existed as long as them. Destroying the demons in their own way.

The Sunlight Sisters track down the other hunter (being MC’s mother) to get more information about her. By the end she joins the group but only in producing and backing vocals, because of the notion of bad luck with the number 4.

In the future, MC is being trained to be a singer and producer along with her hunter skills.

Though MC has a bit of a problem.

✨C R I P P L I N G A N X I E T Y✨

VERY afraid to joining the group as much as she wants to internally. So she’s kept as a mysterious backing vocals in all of Huntrix’s songs. Even performing backstage live and being part of their managing team with Bobby.

I might actually write this now

Edit: I got the prologue up now!

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Do you ever have fanfic epiphanies at work? Me neither. Have a screenshot :)

:)

[scoobydoodean]

You really just can't unsee it once you see it though, can you?

Sam starts blaming Dean for what he's going to do (work with Ruby) way back in 3.09 because Dean isn't going to be around to be Sam's mommy, which is going to force Sam's hand.

After Dean comes back, Sam actually blames Dean for him working with Ruby by saying Dean wasn't there to protect him (4.04).

Dean repeatedly begs Sam not to work with Ruby and is ignored repeatedly (3.03, 3.04, 3.09, 3.16, 4.01-4.04, 4.12-4.22).

After telling Dean to open up to him and trust him (4.08), Sam calls Dean weak and pathetic for being traumatized by hell and says Dean is holding him back and therefore deserves to be lied to because he can't be of use (4.14) Sam says it's not what he really thinks when they both know it is (and Sam repeats it to other characters in 4.16, and 4.18) and then he admits it's the truth again to Dean's face in 4.21.

Sam accuses Dean of not trusting him enough (4.21).

Bobby blows up at Dean for not supporting Sam enough and calls him a pansy after Sam strangled Dean near unconscious, and tells him family is supposed to make you miserable (4.22).

Dean tries to reach out to Sam and Zachariah and Cas actively prevent him from doing so (Cas only at first) (4.22)

Zachariah (5.01) and Cas (5.02) both tell Dean the apocalypse is his fault because Dean didn't reach Sam in time to stop him from killing Lilith.

Dean says Sam hurt him, Sam is the one Dean depended on the most and Sam hurt him in ways he can't even voice (5.01). Sam apologizes, but then in the very next episode, shoves Dean into a wall for not trusting him like Dean is crazy and irrational when Sam doesn't even trust himself (5.02).

Sam says he thinks they should go their separate ways and is shocked when Dean agrees easily. Dean says that he spends more time worrying about Sam than he does doing the job right and time apart would be good. Sam reiterates that he's sorry and Dean gently says he knows Sam is (5.02).

Cas asks Dean if he's okay even without his brother, and Dean says "Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I’ve had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I’ve had with Sam in years, and you’re not that much fun. It’s funny, you know, I’ve been so chained to my family, but now that I’m alone, hell, I’m happy." (5.03)

Sam says he wants back in. Dean objects, on the basis that he thinks they're stronger apart. Dean says they're each other's weaknesses and it's being used against them (5.04, but the weakness line is repeated from 3.03 and 3.16).

Zachariah pushes Dean into a future 2014 where Dean never met up with Sam again, and as a result, Sam said "Yes" to Lucifer, and billions of people died. All because Dean didn't want to be around Sam after being hurt and never reconnected with him (5.04).

Dean reconnects with Sam (5.04) even though he clearly doesn't want to, because the first case we see them on again, Dean struggles to trust Sam and leaves to go drink alone because he doesn't want to be around Sam (5.05).

Sam says part of the reason he went off with Ruby was to get away from Dean, because Dean is smothering. Dean is the problem in the relationship, because Sam feels inferior compared to him. Dean apologizes for being too smothering (5.05).

What does all of this tell you? Dean can't win. Dean will always be the bad guy in the family. He loves too much, or he isn't loving enough. Sam needs him and Dean wasn't there for him and so Sam went down the wrong path, but also Dean is smothering and Dean being smothering is the reason Sam went down the wrong path. Sam is not a trustworthy person, but Dean doesn't trust him enough. Sam not being trustworthy is Dean's fault. Dean doesn't deserve trust, but Sam deserves Dean's trust no matter what and not giving Sam his trust is the worst possible thing in the entire world and also again makes him smothering. The apocalypse is Dean's fault. Every single thing Sam does every single mistake he might ever make in his life is always at least partly Dean's fault and Dean's responsibility.

[hardly-an-escape]

inspired by this gorgeous art by @newtkelly 🌹💕

It's just a normal Tuesday. They're about two hours out from the end of their shift and Buck is upstairs in the kitchen, finishing up the dinner dishes, when Chimney's voice floats up from the floor below.

"Hey, uh... hey Buck? I think you have a visitor."

He sounds a little weird, almost like he's trying to hide something. Buck frowns and grabs a dishtowel. "Be right down," he calls back.

He hops down the last few steps, rounds the front of an engine at a jog, opens his mouth to ask what's going on and – stops dead.

Tommy is standing in the middle of the ambulance bay, feet planted like he's expecting someone to come along and shove him out the big garage doors – and from the slightly murderous glare Eddie is throwing his way, it might be a valid concern. He's wearing a cream colored Henley and his hair is tousled, a couple artful locks falling over his brow.

But what stops Buck in his tracks – what roots his boots to the floor and makes his mouth drop slightly open – are the flowers.

Tommy's arms are absolutely overflowing with roses. There's got to be at least two dozen, maybe even three, wrapped in classic brown paper with a bright ribbon holding it closed. They're full and perfectly opened and a deep, rich red, with a handful of pink and white carnations scattered through the bouquet that, rather than distracting from the roses, just make them look even more luxurious by comparison.

"Hey," Tommy says. "Happy Valentine's Day, Evan. Can we talk?"

Buck spends at least two and a half seconds fruitlessly opening and closing his mouth.

"Valentine's Day isn't until Friday," is what eventually comes out. He can practically hear Eddie's eye roll from behind him.

One corner of Tommy's mouth lifts in a tight little smile. "I know," he says. "But this is the day I knew for sure you'd be on shift, so."

"Oh. Right," Buck says stupidly.

"These are for you." Tommy hefts the armful of roses and Buck automatically steps forward to take them. His fingers brush the backs of Tommy's hands as he does so.

He could swear he feels a spark. Maybe it's just static electricity. But Tommy's eyes widen minutely, so he must feel it too, whatever it is.

"You, uh. You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah. Yes." Tommy clears his throat. Buck is intensely aware of the fact that they have an audience. Eddie is still frowning, Chim is doing a very bad job pretending he's not hanging on every word they say, and even Bobby has paused what he was doing to lean too-casually against a wall, arms folded and carefully neutral expression on his face. "I have thought... so much about what I want to say to you. I've gone around and around, telling myself if I could just find the right words, I could make you understand. And then telling myself I haven't even earned the right to try." Tommy takes a deep breath. "It shouldn't have taken me so long to get my shit together and come talk to you. You deserved better than that, Evan. But I... I'm here now."

"I'm listening," Buck says. He's glad he can hold the flowers, because he doesn't know what to do with his hands. Tommy seems to be having the same problem; he clasps them awkwardly in front of himself, then unclasps them, then goes to shove them in his pockets and seems to change his mind, rubbing them briefly against his hips instead.

"Thank you. Thank you for being willing to listen," he says. "I... I never found exactly the right words. But I know what I want to say. First, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I fucked up, and I panicked, and I just kept panicking until it felt like it was too late to do anything else. Second, there are still things I hope we can talk about, things I tried to say that night that I couldn't get out right. Stuff about my past, and questions about the future. But most important... Third. I do want a future with you, Evan. Everything you said that night, I want it so... so badly. And it took me walking out to realize that, because I'm an idiot, and a coward, but all I learned by being without you these last couple of months was..."

Tommy trails off. His eyes have never looked so blue. "Was how much I don't want to be without you," he says simply.

There's a long moment of silence. You could hear a pin drop in the firehouse. It's as if everyone in the building is holding their breath. All Buck can see is Tommy – Tommy, with his broad shoulders, and his fidgety hands, and his blue eyes, full of hope and tears.

"Can someone come take these flowers, please?" Buck says over his shoulder, without unlocking his eyes from Tommy's. Chimney comes up behind him and gently takes the bouquet from his hands, stepping back without a word.

Buck takes a step forward. And then another. And then Tommy steps too, and then their arms are wrapped tightly around each other, cheeks pressed together, and it's as if the entire station heaves a sigh of relief.

"You are an idiot," Buck whispers fiercely into Tommy's neck.

"I know."

"This doesn't magically fix the fact that I'm still really mad at you."

"I know, Evan. I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I promise."

Buck pulls back far enough to look Tommy in the eye again, and what he sees there reassures every uncertain inch of him: sincerity. Hope. Apology. Even – he dares to hope – love.

He begins to lean back in, but before he can crush his mouth to Tommy's, the bell rings – because of course it does – and the alarm squawks, calling the 118 to a house fire a couple neighborhoods over. Buck reluctantly tears himself loose and heads for the engine.

"Don't you dare leave!" he yells to Tommy, pointing a dramatic finger at him.

"I won't! I'll wait right here for you!" Tommy yells back.

Chim claps Tommy on the shoulder and shoves the bouquet back in his hands as he runs past. The last thing Buck sees before they pull out and round the corner is Tommy's smile, blindingly bright above a cascade of red roses.

ETA: now there's a part two!

[cassidyrivers]

So.......I'm....angry and devastated and I can't deal with this so I'm going to vent a bit....

Bobby, a suicidal character who is once more in a good place just killed himself so another character could live.

Athena lost her 3rd husband (idgaf if she wasn't yet married the 1st time they were going to be, it fucking counts) and 2/3 are permanently fucking dead and the other one is....idk somewhere fucking probably. They never even got to live in their new house, never got to start this new chapter of their life or whatever was next for them.

Chimney, if they want to be true to his character, will probably take years to get over his survivor's guilt if he ever does or they'll ooc him and have him have no problem in 2 eps. Bc fuck chimney right?

Buck just lost the only decent father figure he ever had after he and Athena did everything they could to save the 118, and in the end, while it matters bc everyone else is alive I doubt it's going to be in any way shape or form a comfort and it will not like nothing short of a personal failure.

Eddie is NOT HERE in this episode. They've kept dragging shit they started for so long and they didn't even have the decency to add one of the main characters reacting to THE FIRST MCD OF THE SHOW? AND IT WILL NEVER BE ADDRESSED BASED ON THE INTERVIEWS?! HE WILL JUST BE TOLD OFF SCREEN? ! AND WILL DEAL WITH IT OFF SCEEN?! THEY BARELY SHOWED EDDIE WORKING ON HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIS ON SCREEN WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU TIM?!

Hen hasn't had a peaceful moment to breathe in most if not all of S8. And with the way the bobby-buck send-off was written, I see mean black lesbian is trying to dei her way to captaincy over poor white cis straight presenting man in her future storylines.

Maddie will have to balance pregnancy, a child, work, and being there for her husband and brother, even separated from how the whole thing impacted her.

The 118 just lost someone they loved and cherished bc tm wanted there to be....stakes....right.....

And to make matters worse, the "reformed" racist was there...he was in that episode. We saw his reaction, whatever there was of it in any case. But a MAIN FUCKING CHARACTER ISN'T?!

And based on the bts, GERARD WILL ALSO BE IN 8x16?!

In what world is any of this what the audience wants? Just for the sake of fucking "stakes" and fucking "realism"....yeah okay.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Epic Buddie Fic Recs | March 3rd-9th 2025

WE'RE BACK!! WE'RE SO BAAAACK!!!!!!

Complete

good dogs don't run away by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S8E9: Sob Stories, Future fic, Eddie Back From Texas | 1,1K | General):

"I, um, well..." Eddie shrugs, all nervous bashfulness that makes Buck want to put him in his pocket, maybe his ribcage, just to keep him close, safe. "I'd ask you to move in, but..." "Hate to break it to you, Eddie." His lips curl around the name differently now. Or maybe they don't. Maybe he's always said Eddie's name like it was his favourite word, a plea, a prayer. "But I've got another month of rent down on this place, so if anyone was asking anyone to move in, it'd be me." (OR: they're roommates, partners, best friends, what else is there?)

Ours by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Post-S8E9: Sob Stories Coda | 1,3K | General):

“Home sweet home.” Buck mumbles, stumbling as he tries to kick his shoes off. Eddie doesn’t correct him, tell him that it’s not his yet, because that’d be a lie. This place has been Buck’s home for nearly as long as it’s been Eddie’s.

i find your name, etched behind the frame by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (Post-S8E9: Sob Stories Coda | 1,6K | General):

Buck had always felt like he belonged, in Eddie’s house. It was one of the things Eddie had noticed, right away, when they’d become friends – Buck had just felt like he belonged, right from the beginning, his spare sneakers next to Eddie’s own on the rack, Eddie’s wardrobe filled with Buck’s clothes, half the ingredients in the kitchen bought by Buck. He was such an integral part of their lives, and Eddie wouldn’t have wanted it to be any other way. He didn’t want it to end.

what do you really need, darling? by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Eddie Coming Out, Getting Together | 2,3K | Explicit):

After Eddie comes out to Buck, and Buck does not react the way Eddie would prefer, they play an expedited game of friends with benefits chicken.

🔥 Hourglass by xylodemon/ @xylodemon (Post-S8E9: Sob Stories Coda, Love Confessions | 2,3K | Not Rated):

"Don't ask me to give you the next three weeks and then let you go." "I wouldn't." "Yes, you would." Eddie huffs out a laugh. "Yeah, I would. And you wouldn't say no." "No, I wouldn't," Buck admits. "So don't ask."

you give me such a future feeling by bellabrady (Different First Meeting AU | 2,5K | Not Rated):

"Fuck you!" he yells. The spider is still again and after a few moments, Eddie's heartrate starts to slow back down. He needs somebody to get this thing out of here. If not Christopher, then someone else. The problem is, he doesn't know a lot of people in LA yet. He hasn't even gotten around to introducing himself to his neighbors! Wait. His neighbors. — Or: Eddie is terrified of spiders, so he enlists his neighbor's help in getting rid of it. You can guess the rest.

🔥 Nap Trapped by paleredheadinascifi (Future fic, Post-S8E9: Sob Stories, Eddie Back from Texas | 3K | Teen):

“Eddie Diaz,” Buck gasps. “Are you using me for my very soft cardigan?” Eddie chuckles and tells the truth. “You looked so comfy. And I missed you.” Buck sucks in a breath beneath Eddie’s ear. “I missed you, too,” he whispers. “I think I missed you too much,” Eddie admits. Or, Buck wears his pink cardigan and Eddie nap traps him about it.

a tremendous thing by simplyylupin (S8E9: Sob Stories Spec | 3K | Teen):

“What the hell is your problem, Buckley?” Eddie snaps when he’s near enough. He shoves Buck’s shoulder, eyes blazing a shade of hazel in the firelight. “Your lungs not screwed up enough for your liking?” “My lungs are just fine,” Buck replies. Eddie narrows his eyes. “You’re so full of–” “Alright, Eddie,” Bobby interrupts before he can finish, “That’s enough.” in which buck projects his feelings into befriending a dog

a craving i can't fill. by dylaesthetics (Post-S8E9: Sob Stories, Eddie Moved to Texas | 4K | Teen):

“You have to tell him. Buck,” she says insistently. “You’ve got to—” “What would be the point?” he asks, cutting her short. “He’s moved to Texas. He’s not coming back. They never do.” “Not Eddie,” says Maddie. “He’ll come back. He always does. He’ll—” “Christopher is the priority,” once again, he cuts her off, restlessly stirring on the couch. “Christopher is what matters. And Eddie will give up anything for him. As he should. I don’t blame him for it, not one bit. He’s what’s most important.” ____ OR an interstate journey, a conversation with a Texan man and a sister, and a voicemail.

Divide, Conquer, & Drink by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Secret Relationship, Eddie Back from Texas | 4K | Teen):

With alcohol as their weapon of choice, Hen and Karen decide to separate and confront Buck and Eddie into confessing their feelings for one another.

til then be good and wait for me by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S8A, Eddie Back from Texas, Getting Together | 6K | Teen):

Eddie returns from El Paso and asks Buck on a date. In the interim between the asking and the date itself, Buck acts completely normally. Definitely. Just don't ask anyone.

Anosognosia by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Nurse Buck, Getting Together | 7K | Teen):

When ER Nurse Evan Buckley meets Firefighter Paramedic Eddie Diaz, he is instantly smitten. They hit it off quickly, and begin seeing a lot of each other. It takes him a few weeks to realize they're doing more than just hanging out.

🔥 day five hundred sixty-four (and it feels like you just left my side) by BekkaChaos/ @bekkachaos (Post-S8A, Eddie Moved to Texas | 8K | Teen):

Eddie made the move to El Paso, Buck isn't coping so well so he takes to doing research and texting Eddie random facts and thoughts instead of saying all the things on his mind. Or, 5 times Buck texts Eddie with weird trivia/thoughts and 1 time he send him something genuine (by accident).

Lucky I’m in love (with my best friend) by scarmaddiewrites (Future fic, Eddie Coming Back From Texas | 8K | Teen):

Chris and Eddie are coming back from Texas and Buck and Eddie share one brain cell.

🔥 i’m gonna marry him anyway by weewooforever (Friends to Fiancés | 10K | Teen):

4 times eddie’s elderly neighbor tells him he’s so lucky to have such a wonderful husband + the 1 time she tells buck. the only problem? they’re not actually married.

🔥 Atomic Spiral by ameliahart/ @melliehart (S8, Getting Together, Jealous Eddie | 13K | Explicit):

And Eddie’s not jealous, of course not, that’s Buck’s thing. He thinks wryly of Tommy and sprained ankles, and an embarrassing fondness fills his chest. Buck’s so— Buck, wholly and completely, and Eddie misses him, is all. But that’s not why he’s doing it, honest. These people don’t appreciate Buck for who he is, not the way Eddie does. He just wants the best for Buck, okay? *** Eddie brings Christopher home from Texas to find that in his absence, Buck’s started sleeping around. Eddie is completely normal about that. (Or, Eddie starts cockblocking Buck. Things escalate from there.)

Time is Running Out (I wanna play the game, I want the friction) by bewitched__bothered__bewildered/ @bewitchedbotherednbewildered (A/B/O AU, Secret Omega Eddie | 70K | Explicit):

Crouching down, Buck lifts the polaroid from the floor, ready to place it back in the photo album without thought, when a glint of metal catches his eye. Standing in the picture, waist-up, wearing nothing but a dog tag, Eddie’s side profile is visible with his hands on his stomach. His pregnant stomach. As subtle as possible, Buck slips the picture into his pocket as Chris and Eddie keep bickering with each other. “I, uh, I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick,” and without waiting for either of them to say anything, Buck all but runs away from his best friend. His Omega best friend. Or, Alpha Buck spent the last few years at the 118 thinking Eddie was also an Alpha. Turns out, he’s not.

WIP

🔥 Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 19/? | 109K | Explicit):

In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path

🔥 Doe & a Drop of Golden Sun by ohstars/ @oh-stars (Canon Divergent, Dad Buck | 14? | 60K | Teen):

Buck doesn't mean to keep secrets from everyone, but he also can't talk about the pain he experiences on a day to day basis. With his nine-year-old living across the country and his custody limited to one monthly visit, Buck doesn't know how to share this part of himself. How does he tell his team of six years that he's had a kid this whole time? How does he tell his sister? How does he tell his Edd-- best friend? It's fine. The universe isn't going to give him a choice in the matter when the worst thing imaginable becomes his reality.

[thetrialsandtribulationsofeb]

no, but there’s something about chris being mad at eddie for possibly bringing a new person into his life (ana), and then immediately going to buck

he’s like, “i got you. i got buck. i love him. you love him. what more do we need?”

(eddie, you already found a new co-parent and the love of your life that chris already approves of - why do you keep searching for a “picture perfect” family? leave the poor women of los angeles alone. let them date guys who actually want them)

also, the fact that buck and chris share abandonment issues 😭 i’m going to throw up, this is too much

and how buck reassures chris that people come back and that he will never go away, only for eddie to break up with ana after chris gets attached to her, just because he has a panic attack imagining a future with a woman

like, just don’t date women, eddie. it’s that simple.

let them live. let yourself live.

he finds this perfect girl who fits right into his family, and then he messes it up because he doesn’t want her

meanwhile, he has the same “picture perfect family” dynamic with buck, but that doesn’t scare him. he doesn’t have a panic attack at the thought of buck always being around, hanging out at his house, raising chris together

what reason could that be, eddie, hmm???

“you think i’m a commitment-phobe?” you don’t have a problem committing to your extremely close friendship with buck

“i’m a nester. i nest” you constantly ruin your relationships with women, but you cherish your domestic life with buck

eddie had every opportunity to build a beautiful family with a woman and leave his relationship with buck as just a friendship, but no, he didn’t take it

the math is mathing, but eddie is not good at it, unfortunately

someone tell him that it’s okay to be gay 😭

also, “i know this whole thing between us has been messy and hard” in s8. what thing, eddie? what thing??? why don’t you just call it a friendship?

because it isn’t, it never was just friendship

you were in love with buck the moment you saw him, and you’ll never get away from the sound of the man that loves you

“you don’t seem to have a problem committing to certain things”

BOBBY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH