#but then it happens to north and south. and ct and wyoming. and york and lina. and all wash and maine have to say with the smuggest faces

[tvckerwash]

the noncanon s9 trailer as a whole is very serious, but the idea that wash and maine would have gotten their asses beat by sim troopers on multiple occasions had the outposts not been first established until after the break in is unbelievably funny. these big bad freelancers are more interested in fucking around and goofing off during what is supposed to be a Very SeriousTM simulation exercise and it comes back to bite them so hard, and yall already know that the other freelancers would make sure they never lived it down.

[tvckerwash]

not to detract from the point of this post (because I do agree), but the reason why failure is such a prevalent theme among not just the women, but all of the freelancers is because we already knew how project freelancer ended. they were literally always doomed to fail, so they had to be written with what we already know happened to them in mind.

for example, church asks tex if carolina was with york in like s4 or something (implying they were possibly a thing), and tex tells him that she was already dead.

north and south were always doomed to turn on one another because of recovery one and s6, and we already knew that south was never meant to get an ai in the first place.

it's heavily implied that wash and maine used to be close all throughout the recollection trilogy, but then maine became the meta and wash went insane because of epsilon.

we knew in s1 I think that tex went rouge and led a break in on a freelancer facility.

we learned that the real ct was a woman in s8 (ct? what's she doing here?) , and that she was working against project freelancer because of s7 (iirc a lot of ppl theorized that ct had a voice mod like tex did prior to s10).

wyoming and york had their rivalry established in out of mind, and we knew that york lost an eye in a training accident involving tex.

we knew that wyoming knew captain flowers somehow (and we learned in s10 that it was because flowers was agent florida).

etc, etc.

this obviously doesn't excuse how they were handled—s10 specifically is kind of a mess because miles has a habit of poorly pacing the story, so all the important stuff lacks proper build up, and we end up with rushed conclusions to arcs that come out of nowhere (such as ct being in a romantic relationship with the innie leader, there was no foreshadowing for that and we know next to nothing about either of them so we can't even be sad about it like with york and carolina) but I do think it's important to acknowledge the limitations of writing a prequel arc after we already know how said arc ended.

I think a lot about the fact that all of the female freelancers, not just Tex were designed to fail in one way or another. For Connie, she was told she would never meet the skills of her colleagues, which put her in such a position where she was doomed to snap, and a position she was doomed to be hunted down loosing it. Carolina was taunted with the brink of failure, her whole life she believed what was perfect was being at the top of it, this was only really fueled by the Director. While not directly ever said we can assume this was the only way Carolina could see herself close to her father. Then it was just taken away from her where failures piled up on her and up on her causing her to become obsessed with someone she can literally never beat. South was the control variant of an experiment, South was forced to snap constantly and was punished for doing so. She was constantly taunted like a dog. Even Ohio, all she’s ever known was failure, she and the triplets tried and tried to make themselves known for being more then bottom of the barrel freelancers, but never succeeded until they were just left for dead

Project freelancer egged all of them on so much to the point where they can only be known as their worst qualities and the writers did an excellent job at this because most of the fandom thinks of them similarly. All of their worst qualities were just fueled and fueled to the point where during the freelancer arc, you can forget their good qualities. I think South’s the best example, because so many people can’t see her as more then a backstabbing short tempered bitch, rather than a highly skilled, well organized, timed and motivated killer, who can fucking hide amongst pipes and wipe out guards without a sound, while sometimes over her head can and will defend herself. Or Carolina, became selfish with obsession, to the point where she’d betray her partner and friends, in favor of pursuing her idea of success, because in the program, there wasn’t another way

I’m in no way a South apologist, but honestly, I feel like all the female freelancers, all had such strong themes of failure in their lives, some were able to overcome it and become so great and badass, some accepted it and became happy, and some were killed for it

[texas-hates-taxes-too]

Its kinda crazy when you realise that out of all the freelancers we know, Meta actually only killed one of them (not including epsi-tex)

Like. Carolina and wash are alive. CT was killed by Tex, York was killed by Wyoming, Wyoming was killed by the RnBs + Tex, South was killed by Wash, Tex was destroyed by the EMP (so killed by Wash basically), Florida was killed once by Church (probably) and another time by Tucker. The triplets fate is unknown. Nobody knows what happened to Georgia. Illinois (and others) were killed by Temple. Utah possibly suffocated but its never quite clarified.

Only North was killed by the Meta. Wash seems to imply a couple times that other freelancers were killed by Meta but its never said who they are and that also doesn't make much sense since those other freelancers wouldn't have had AI

[kineticallyanywhere]

more random rvb headcanons:

Armor colors continued: 

Brown - Engineering/Bomb squad

CT was the highest ranked mechanic in all of PFL. Not a lot of engineers bothered to get into combat training, but Connie wanted to make use of her skills on field missions, and she got good at close combat. She could rig just about anything with two wires to explode, and throw a knife for accuracy over thirty yards. Which came in handy to make things explode a surprising number of times. 

York and Wash were the Pure version of ‘boys will be boys’ that involves things like standing on the seesaw at the playground and jumping to lever it, doing the cup song any time it plays with whatever is available, and suplexing each other on a trampoline hard enough to bounce the other person into the pool next to it

If Sarge had a wallet (he doesn’t because wallets fell out of practical use two hundred years ago and as if he’d give his eventual vanquisher the satisfaction of successfully looting his body (”You left it in the warthog six years ago--” “SHUT UP, GRIF”) but if he did), he’d have a picture of Caboose in it. 

North knew everyone’s coffee orders and allergies. South had the same knowledge for very different reasons

Freelancers as vehicles

Tex - that one car that Vin Diesel rides out of a plane and off a cliff in Furious 7

Carolina - Classy, expensive motorcycle, well used (for off-road races)

York - Mustang convertible with a dented fender

Wyoming - punch bug with a British flag painted on the hood

North - SUV (with a rifle collection in the floor storage)

Washington - a razor scooter mountain bike held together with duct tape

Maine - Literal Tank

South - home-modified, death-trap ATV

CT - jeep

Florida - one of those old 90s era dad cars that look stalker-ish nowadays

Tucker sleeps naked because he doesn’t want ‘covered toe to neck’ to be his default setting. Everyone else (except Donut) starts to get twitchy out of their suits, and Tucker refuses to let that happen to him. 

Florida was an experimental cyborg. His mechanical heart couldn’t process aspirin. 

on Iris, the guys could go weeks at a time without seeing each other, same team or not. The first few months were a bit of a blur of sleeping at any given moment, eating whenever they felt like it, and pretending that clocks don't exist. Carolina tried really hard not to try and institute any rules, but after Caboose went missing for eight straight days (it's one thing to not be looking for each other, another to look everywhere and not find each other) everyone agreed that daily team roll call was probably a good idea. Sometimes Caboose showed up at Red-call, and Simmons showed up at Blue-call at least once  

Caboose has one of those faces that gets tomato red, so fast. He’s always gotten teased for it, and it contributes a lot to why he hates getting embarrassed 

Wash’s dad died in prison

[spacespazz101]

Chapter 3: Shit Hits the Fan

I have no idea how to tag and the read more generator isn’t an option. so if someone could explain how I would appreciate it!!! i am sorry for gumming up anybody’s dashboard.

Thanks to everyone reading!

They had lost contact with Wash and Maine.

North and CT were frozen outside the room their target was in. They had heard Wash’s scream before static took over.

 “Ash? Okie-? Wash? Wash? Rookie come in.” York’s voice was frantic as he tried to regain contact with their wayward teammates.

 “What happened?” Texas’ voice was nearly lost in the garbled static. She had been having the most trouble staying connected. Her coms had been garbled before they had separated so she was stuck with secondhand updates from her partner. But apparently, she had heard Wash’s scream.

 “We lost contact with Wash and Maine.” North answered. Still pressed against the wall. He had to fight to keep his voice down so not to alert the person in the next room. “Carolina do we still engage, or do we need to regroup? It sounds like they might have been expecting us.” North took a breath. This wasn’t his usual element. He was a sniper. He was supposed to be watching from afar, taking calculated shots, and backing up his teammates. Not in the thick of it waiting for trouble to find him. That was his sister’s job.

 “Negative. We will still engage. York, Wyoming go to Wash and Maine’s last known coordinates and bail them out.” Carolina’s voice was clearer as the static began to fade again. Still nothing from Wash or Maine. “Ten-four old chap” Wyoming’s accented voice came through the speakers now, steady as always. “North, CT make sure you get your guy alive just in case.” Carolina’s voice was its usual stern tone, but North could feel the flinch he was repressing at her comment. He could only hope that things wouldn’t come to a hostage exchange.

 “North, CT you engage first. Capture your target and bring them to the rendezvous. We will interrogate them there. Everyone else hold back we still don’t know how many people are here. We don’t want to bring an entire army onto us if we can help it.” Carolina’s voice was on the fringe of being overrun with static again. Just like how it was before Wash and Maine lost contact.

 North and CT shared a glance before CT sent their confirmation over the radio again. The entire encounter had left the two shaken but North took a breath. He could return to his roost with his riffle when this entire thing was over, but for now he had a hostage to take and a rookie to scold when things cooled down.

 “Acknowledged Carolina. We are engaging now” CT answered as they both held their weapons at the ready. One more breath and they were bursting into the room where the brown soldier was, weapons trained on them.

 “It’s about time! How long does it take to rewire an armorlock unit?”

 Shit! The man was speaking Spanish. North hadn’t heard Spanish since his sophomore year of high school. A glance at CT showed that she hadn’t understood him either. The person’s voice was distinctly masculine and seemed to have an older speaker hooked to his radio. It gave his voice a metallic twang. North and CT approached the person, slowly, keeping their guns trained on the man. When CT sent a glance in his direction North realized he would have to be the one to give the commands, he had the most experience talking to prisoners and negotiating.

 “Turn slowly and lower your tools.” North spoke clearly and loudly. “We have you surrounded. Come quietly and we will not harm you.” The man did turn around but as he put his tools down and turned towards them, he moved to stand.

“Who are you? Why are you in here?” North could take a good guess at what the man was asking. Most people wanted to know who was pointing a gun at them and why said person was there in the first place. Although the man’s voice wasn’t worried nor angry like North would have expected from someone being held at gunpoint.

 “We are Freelancer agents here to investigate the sudden silence of this base. Raise your hands above your head and identify yourself.” North was unsettled. Something didn’t feel right. The man wasn’t moving like someone concerned with his own safety and he was giving no indication of being able to understand them. The static was still loud in his ears. He was very aware of the fact that the others could probably only hear every fourth word he said and nothing of what this man said. Not to mention that they would be on their own to

 I am Puerto Ricco the Heavy here to fix the malfunctioning training room. If you come much closer you will trigger Mont’s morning routine.” The man, Peter Rico, stated. He didn’t raise his hands. North shared a glance with CT.

 CT moved to call the rest of the team. They would need backup. If Mass had been right and he was one of the two people to take out Bravo then they might be in trouble if this guy decided to give them problems. “We have captured the one called Rico.” CT informed the others. North could hear her clearer than before but there was still some distorted static. “Requesting back up to transport him.”

 All they got in response was static. CT began to repeat her message and North stepped forward raising his gun to place it in the MAG-strip behind his back when Peter jerked suddenly and took two rapid steps back.

 “Do not come any closer or you will start Montana’s simulation.” Now he was concerned. What did he mean ‘mountain’s simulation?’ Hey Asshole, speak English or shut up. CT was clearly getting nervous too. With no response from the others through the chaotic static North was inclined to agree with her. North continues to raise his rifle and picked up the hand cuffs when Peter let out one more cry before shit hit the fan.

 “Put that down before you start a simulation!”

 Suddenly lights began to flash and sirens began to blare. The door behind them started to close as smoke began to fill the room. What was going on?!?

 “Shit.”

 That North understood, it was the only Spanish South used for years after they had taken lessons, and he couldn’t help but agree. “You idiots started Montana’s warm up drills!” Peter called out angrily.  Suddenly the lights started flickering on and off. North and CT started to back into each other to watch the other’s back.

 It was in between the flashing lights that everything truly began to fly off the handle. As the lights flickered back on North and CT found themselves surrounded by dozens of troopers dressed in Gold. Wielding different weapons varying from medieval maces and spears to modern guns.

 CT and North opened fire.

 “Where did all these guys come from? Come-in anyone we need back up we are surrounded and need back up now!” CT called out as North began to reload his weapon. They never seem ed to go down. And those weapons were real! North had been grazed by one of the maces and it left a dent in his armor.

 “Stop shooting and let me turn it off.” Peter called from behind them. Probably giving orders to his underlings. CT suddenly let out a curse her gun had jammed. North moved to cover her so she could fix it when he felt something hard connect with his helmet. As North collapsed on top of CT with a grunt all he could hear was Peter let out one last insult before he blacked out.

 “Idiots.”

[vonlipvig]

Fodder vs. Freelancers - Episode 4

(If you’re looking for past episodes, just check the “Survivor RvB” tag in my blog!)

Quick recap! Last time, the Fodder tribe manages to win both the reward AND immunity challenges, sending the Freelancers on their first trip to Tribal Council. South and Tucker were chosen to go to Exile Island, but none of them found any idols. The Freelancers voted for Florida to go, with Maine close behind. Will they continue this losing streak, or will they fight back?

So, new day, new reward challenge. Who will emerge victorious?

The Freelancers are back, baby! That is a very physical challenge, so it’s only natural they’d have a little bit of an advantage (I can imagine Tex sitting this challenge out so she can participate in the immunity one, then Lina, Maine, South and North on the diving team, with CT, Wash, Wyoming and York on the puzzle team. That’s cool, isn’t it?). Anyway, our poor Reds and Blues taste defeat again, but who gets to go to Exile Island?

So they pick Donut to go, together with South, who was already there (is South volunteering to go? I can totally see that, I bet she really wants to get her hands on that idol). But to get that idol she’ll have to face her greatest challenge yet: spending a whole day with Donut.

Aaaand, the idol is not found. Please, take a moment to imagine Donut and Soth stranded on a tiny island together. Donut would be happily going on about whatever’s on his mind, double entendres galore, and South just. can’t. get. away. What a wonderful image.

Anyway, it’s time for the immunity challenge!

Whoa, the Fodder tribe wins immunity yet again! Oh, the Freelancers are piiiiiissed. Is having a robot to do the puzzle parts of the challenge cheating? Anyway, the Reds and Blues are safe for another round, which means the Freelancers have got to vote for yet another members of theirs...

Notable Tribe Events: The Red Alliance becomes even stronger (gotta unite against those dirty Blues!).

And so, we reach TC time for the Freelancers, again. What will happen now?

The fourth person voted off Survivor Blood Gulch is Wyoming. Oh, Reggie, that’s unfortunate. But I can see how that went down, after all his partner Florida was eliminated the last time, so he was an outlier. 

So how did everyone vote? Turns out the only ones to vote for Maine were Tex and CT (Why do Tex and CT like Wyoming so much in this simulation!?), and then eveyone else voted for Reggie (with Wash voting for him because he likes Maine better). Will Maine and Wash finally form an alliance now? Because they are definitely in a dangerous position as the two odd men out.

Stay tuned for yet another exciting episode of Survivor Blood Gulch: Fodder vs. Freelancers!

Next Episode - Beginning

[anneapocalypse]

Five Freelancers who Had Their AI Stolen (And One Who Didn’t)

Or, So You Want to Un-Retcon Recovery One!

In the last month I've been ordered to the sites of five different dying Freelancers in an effort to recover their intelligence programs.

For the sake of the argument, we’re going to assume that what Wash is saying is true—that he’s not confused or mistaken about the events he describes. There’s plenty of speculation to be had about Wash’s mental state during Recovery One and the reliability of his memories, but the purpose of this post is to take what he says as canon and try to reconcile it with later material.

Tex still has Omega with her until her Pelican crashes in Valhalla, and Wash doesn’t visit the scene at Valhalla until after Recovery One. Tex cannot be one of the five.

Carolina’s AI were taken by the Meta immediately after the ship crashed and Carolina was thrown off a cliff and presumed dead. She cannot be one of the five.

York is killed by Wyoming and Wash recovered Delta and disposed of his body shortly after. Wash calls York “the fifth one this month” when he receives the call, mentions that Delta was a fluke, so we can assume that York is one of the five.

Wyoming is still alive when Wash visits York’s body, so Wyoming cannot be one of the five—at least, not this Wyoming. We may recall, however, that Wyoming’s use of the time distortion unit to cheat death in season 5 resulted in copies of Wyoming being created. It is therefore possible, however improbable, that Wash found a dead copy of Wyoming absent both armor enhancement and AI, and this would fit with his story. Wash believing Wyoming was dead could also explain why Wash never calls him by name at the base, or ever mentions encountering him—he believed Wyoming was already dead. Wyoming could have been one of the five. It’s plausible.

North is the last body Wash visits in Recovery One. North’s AI and equipment have been taken, and so far as we know North was in fact killed by the Meta. North is one of the five.

Maine is the Meta, or rather the Meta’s host to be precise; therefore Maine isn’t dead and his body cannot be one of the five.

That’s all the agents who ever received AIs that we know of, before the process was put on hold. So for the five, we have:

Wyoming

North

York

That’s three, and one of them is a stretch.

We’re still missing two. So how do we fill in this gap?

We have two options.

The other two agents who were killed did not have AI. Only their equipment was taken, and Wash just means that all the agents who had AI were missing them.

There are more AI.

The No AI Theory

According to this theory, we only need to find two more agents who died and had their equipment taken. We don’t need to find any more AI. So let’s keep rolling.

South is still alive in Recovery One. South is not one of the two.

Florida is originally believed to have died before season 1 began from an aspirin overdose, but it later turns out he survived in the caverns beneath the canyon and was eventually possessed by Omega. His actual death comes at the very end of the Blood Gulch Chronicles, when he is taken out by an unseen sniper (later revealed in season 16 to be a time-traveling Tucker). Unfortunately, for Florida to be one of the two, he has to have died before Recovery One, and both the official timeline and the apparent proximity of the two miniseries places Recovery One before the end of the Blood Gulch Chronicles. Florida is still alive in the caves, and cannot be one of the two.

Connecticut dies of an axe wound to the chest on a transport out of Longshore. We don’t know what happened to her body, only to her armor, which was taken by the leader of the Charon squad she was working with. That armor eventually ended up at the desert temple where Fake CT was killed by Epsilon’s laser eye. Even if CT’s body had been dumped somewhere and eventually found, she wouldn’t have had her armor or equipment and it would have been obvious that she was dead long before Recovery One. Fake CT isn’t killed until season 7, so even if Wash mistook him for CT (which he does, actually, when the faint beacon leads him and the Meta to the desert in season 8) it’s too late for Recovery One, and thus CT (original or imposter) cannot be one of the two.

We’re out of top squad Freelancers, and so at this point, if they don’t need to have AI, the two could’ve been just about any lower-ranking agents. Any of the lower ranks who either went rogue or were sent out into the field post-crash are also viable candidates here. This includes the squad sent to investigate the mysterious energy reading in the desert, though that would account for more than two agents—and like York and Wyoming, their deaths are unrelated to the Meta so even if Fake CT and his goons took their equipment, we’re looking at coincidence. But it’s as plausible as anything else.

So the No AI Theory is as follows: Wash found two lower-level agents who had been killed and their equipment taken but who never had AI.

The Additional AI Theory

For this theory we posit that there were more AI fragments than the big nine, when they were split, and what happened to them.

Here’s where we bring in another seemingly-retconned piece of Recollections lore, the AI storage facility in season 6. Says Wash:

It's the storage facility for all the AIs. The rejects, the bad variants—everything is here. Everything.

So if we take this as canon, there were other fragments. They were simply rejected for implantation—maybe they were too unstable, maybe they weren’t full personality fragments, maybe lots of things. Whatever the reason, there were addition fragments that weren’t given to any of the top squad.

When were these fragments split? I’d say most likely in between the named fragments, or even before the Director acquired the Huragok to facilitate the process. Maybe the Huragok was meant to alleviate the specific problems that made these fragments unsuitable for implantation. I think it’s unlikely they were split post-season 10, as it’s implied that Alpha was sent to Blood Gulch for safekeeping directly after the crash.

It follows that some of these rejects could’ve been given to lower-ranking agents later on, after most of the top agents defected or died, in the Director’s last-ditch attempts to keep the project going. If that’s the case, then the Meta could’ve found a couple of these agents out in the field, killed them, and taken their equipment and their AI—and probably had a fairly easy time of it, considering they were lower-ranking soldiers with weaker fragments.

Conclusions

Whichever theory you prefer, this whole scenario still presents us with a certain irony: though Wash is actually correct that someone is hunting the Freelancers and taking their AI, he only has one recent example of that actually happening. York’s death, and Wyoming’s if we count him, were unrelated to the Meta.

One would think that Carolina’s death would tie into this theory heavily, as the Meta stole her AI all they way back at the time of the ship crash, and this incident had multiple witnesses including possibly the Director and the Counselor himself. Yet Wash never mentions Carolina, not to South and not to anyone. How do we reconcile this?

It’s possible Wash was never told what happened to Carolina, only that she was dead. He was still recovering from a psychotic break at the time of the crash, and did not directly witness the incident. Furthermore, since both Tex and York fled after the break-in, there simply might not have been any witnesses left to fill Wash in on what really happened. Withholding useful information isn’t exactly out of character for the Director, and it’s entirely plausible he sent Wash out to begin recovering equipment without ever telling him why. The Director knew about the Meta from the minute go. Wash had to put the pieces together on his own.

There is more retconned canon throughout the Recollections trilogy... but that’s another post. For this problem, at least, the problem of the five dead agents, we have a couple of options for reconciling it. This is not to say that there isn’t a continuity problem with canon—only that if you’re a fic writer or simply a fan looking for an internally-consistent reading, these are some ways to make it work if you’re inclined to do so.

Crossposted on dreamwidth.

[perma-dead]

You know it would’ve happened eventually

Red Team

- Sarge: trans man, bi

- Simmons: trans/(or cis? idk) guy, gay (highly repressed)

- Grif: cis guy, bi (highly repressed)

- Donut: trans guy, gay

- Lopez: *is robot*, Sheila

- Doc: cis man, bi ace

Blue Team

- Church: cis man, bi

- Tucker: cis guy, straight (sorry not sorry lmao)

- Tex: gender is a fuck, bi

- Sheila: just a little girl, bi

- Caboose: trans genderqueer (he/him only), ace

- Kai: cis girl, bi

- Wash: cis guy, either demirom mlm or ace mlm (or both?)

Freelancers

- Carolina: trans woman, arospec bi

- York: (???) man, straight

- Maine: intersex guy, aro pan

- CT: cis girl, straight/bi

- North: cis man, aro gay

- South: trans girl, bi but boys are stupid so she ids as a lesbian (asexual)

- Wyoming: cis dude, ids as straight but is pretty fluid

- Florida: dude?, men

Mercs

- Siris: trans man, straight

- Felix: cis man, aro het/bi

- Locus: no gender only pain, gray-bisexual

- Sharkface: trans shark is good shark, it’s a mystery!

[deathstroke-the-himbonator]

RvB Character’s SSBU Mains

BGC CREW ---------------- Church: Sonic main. Is convinced that playing as Sonic is "meta" and that somehow it means he's a pro. Sore loser. Swearing and screaming the entire match, even if he's winning. Caboose: Kirby/Incineroar main. People tend to leave him alone during matches because he seems unskilled/too sweet, but if he gets his hands on you you're fucked. Tucker: Classic Link main. Has mastered bombs, up B, and nothing else. He'd be better at the game if he focused on fighting rather than flirting. Sister: Pikachu/Isabelle main. Down B is life as Pikachu. Closest of the BGC to pro other than Tex. You think she'd be flirting but she's here to win. Abuses the Isabelle glitch for as long as she can. Tex: Dark Samus/Falco main. Will backhand you if you mention Zero Suit Samus. Is a pro but also a show off in the most subtle of ways. Is the only one who's beaten Carolina and she's way too proud of it. Sarge: Bowser/Ridley main. Suicides as Bowser and side B's himself to death constantly as Ridley. Will complain that there's "too many fighters" and mutter about how he misses the N64 version (despite not maining any of those characters). 1v1’s Grif and loses every time. Simmons: Chrom/Roy main. "Roy's our boy!" Can't get himself back on the map to save his life. Waits for everyone to thin themselves out before swooping in to finish them off. Gets mad when Grif mistakes which character he is. Grif: Wario/Yoshi main. Plays Wario when he's just goofing around, but he'll switch to Yoshi if you piss him off/challenge him. Used to be pro but hated how competitive it was. Typically takes second or third place in full BGC matches, but almost always first in Red Team matches. Donut: Peach/Kirby main. Can play fairly well on most of the characters but he loves Peach the most. Has mastered charge attacks but rarely uses them. Side B is life as Peach. Endless vore jokes as Kirby. Lopez: ROB main. Would be a lot better if he gave a damn, but he's typically just a stand-in player. If left alone, he'll rewire his controller into something else entirely. Hogs items. Can't land his FS for shit.

Doc: Dr. Mario/Mr. Game & Watch main. Pretends to think that the game is too violent but secretly loves it. An unforgiving monster as G&W. Sucks as Dr. Mario but refuses to give up on him. If he gets an item run away at all costs. FREELANCERS ---------------------- Carolina: Fox/Zero Suit Samus main. Primary plays Fox but will switch to ZS Samus for shits and giggles. Is impossible to get off the map and will bully you into a corner. Hates items. Will get pissed if killed by items. Washington: Villager/Wolf main. Only mained Wolf in PFL, now he plays as the Villager because he finds it fun. Absolute monster if he's put into a small space with someone. Can switch to Random and still get in the top three. York: Duck Hunt/Pit main. Is just here to have a good time/troll. Loves when items are on. Spams his FS and always gets someone with it. Actually not that great with his A moves but he still gets by. Maine: King Dedede/Meta Knight main. Cannot believe no one got the Meta joke until it was too late. Terrible in the air but terrifying on the ground. Hogs all the items. Mad that no one wants to play with Spirits on. North: Ice Climbers main. Never loses his other ice climber. Will throw himself off the map if he loses his other ice climber. Arguably the least aggressive player but he's still fairly good. Misses when his main was OP back in Melee. South: Bayonetta main. You know why she mains her. Fucking incredible with her side attacks but falls off the map a lot. Doesn't pay attention to surroundings. Will deck you irl for spamming items. CT: Sheik/Snake/Greninja main. Loves the "stealth" characters even though there's no stealth. Hides for most of the game before jumping in at the end, only to lose. If she goes down, you're coming with her. Wyoming: Ryu/Snake main. Hates the game but hates sharing a main with CT even more. Spams aerial moves until he accidentally falls off the map. Fairly decent aim, but still can't land a single FS.

Florida: Wii Fit Trainer/Pac-Man main. Terrible at getting back on the map but even worse at melee fighting. Is arguably the worst at this game but the scary shit he says while playing keeps anyone from saying anything about it. CHORUS KIDS --------------------- Felix: Bowser Jr/Shulk main. Insufferable asshole who targets whoever's losing and destroys them. Lands FSs without even trying. Tried going pro but got banned from all the tournaments. Locus: King K Rool/Lucario main. Really fucking good at the game because it's all he plays. Has unlocked all the spirits. Refuses to use spirits. Waits until there’s only one person left so he can 1v1 them. Kimball: Palutena/Samus main. Is here to have a good time. Didn’t grow up with a lot of video games but she’s still fairly good. Enjoys ganging up on Doyle. Can actually take Carolina in a fight but doesn’t want to.

Doyle: Luigi main. Has never once played a video game but is still reasonably okay. Runs away at the first sign of a FS. Spams items out of fear. Humble loser.

Dr. Grey: Jigglypuff main. Acts like a cryptid for a majority of the match (you only see her when she’s grabbing items). Manages to catch everyone- even in an eight player free for all- with her FS. Worryingly quiet.

Palomo: Captain Olimar/Young Link main. Isn’t even good with YL but he wanted to match Tucker’s main (much to Tucker’s annoyance). Terrible at refreshing his Pikmin stock. Brags hardcore when he wins (not that it happens a lot).

Jensen: Daisy/Lucas main. You’d think she’d take it easy on people but she goes for the kill. Unabashedly goes for Palomo out of anger and spite. Do not test her. Forgets to use her FS despite being reminded that she has her’s ready.

Smith: Mario/Pokemon Trainer main. Doesn’t care that Mario’s FS is shit, he’s here to have fun. Will back off if he’s wailing on someone too hard. Cries on the inside when his Pokemon are knocked out as PT.

Bitters: Ness/Mewtwo main. The best out of the Chorus Kids, it isn’t even much of a competition anymore. Loves taking on Grif and/or Carolina because it’s a challenge. Sometimes shows off but he earned it tbh.

Matthews: Kirby/Little Mac main. Just here to have fun. Will hide by Bitters even if it’s not a team match. Side B’s to his death as LM. Really good with items and cries when Bitters won’t turn them on.

BONUS EXTRAS ------------------------

The Director: Mario/Cloud main. Only playing because Carolina guilt-tripped him into it. Gets upset when he can’t figure out where he is in a crowded brawl. Is decent at the game because Allison made him play the older versions back in the day, but still not great. Yells a lot.

The Counselor: Mega Man main. Only plays MM because he recognizes him. Refuses to switch despite sucking as MM. If he lands a FS he gets way too proud about it. Low-key threatens to fire any Freelancer who really gangs up on him.

The Chairman: Ganondorf main. Hates this game more than anything else. Is infuriatingly slow and even when he reaches someone, he forgets to attack/misses. Doesn’t know how to FS and everyone hates him too much to explain it. Rage quits.

Sharkface: Inkling main. Blue Inkling all the way. Keeps forgetting to reload his ink. Stays as a squid and hops around the entire game. Surprisingly wholesome and has more fun than anyone else playing, despite never winning. Paints people blue and laughs.

Vic: ??? Random main. Talks non-stop the entire game and it’s the most infuriating thing. Wonderful at recovery, even on characters with shit recovery. FSs way too much.

((I’m fine with constructive criticism, but this was all made in good fun, so please don’t flip out about who plays who too much. Please note that I’m not caught up. I’ve only seen up to RvB13 and a few RvB14 episodes, but not many. Feel free to add future characters. Hope you all enjoy this!))

[itsagrifthing]

High School Bus Au

Freelancers are the bus drivers

They have an insanely complex system of commands over the radio

479er is dispatch (AKA “Base”)

They all have a secret nod every time they drive past each other

Wash is a newly hired driver

(He replaced Mr. Florida)

There’s a civil war on his bus between the “Reds” who sit in the front and the “Blues” who sit in the back

Doc comes on occasionally as an inspector/mediator

Tex is a crazy fast driver that always pulls in front of cars and stops suddenly

All of Maine’s kids are scared of him but tbh he’s the most chill 

Wash is a horrible driver and should never have been hired 

York??? Is a college student??? 

Carolina puts on her blinker EXACTLY 100 m before her turn

CT is also pretty chill, but halfway through the school year she just kinda left. Nobody knows what happened to her, but a couple kids swear they saw her driving a taxi late one night

Everyone is pretty sure Wyoming was never even hired for that district but he just kind of showed up one day and they all rolled with it

North and South are constantly competing about EVERYTHING: who has the most kids that day, who completes the routes the fastest, etc

One day, a group of transfers from Chorus, the next town over, start riding Wash’s bus

Felix and Locus are known bullies that somehow end up riding different buses every day

Each bus driver has two routes: a high school route and an elementary school route 

Somehow there’s a kid with a Greek name on every single bus in the elementary routes

[randomblogofjunk]

I do not take criticism

Highest to lowest

Double cheeked up:

Kai (obviously)

Caboose (just not noticeable as the rest of him is also just beef)

Maine (same as above)

North (another thing south would be jealous of)

Donut (again, duh)

Carolina (lord, have mercy to anyone dumb enough to point it out)

Surprisingly bootylishous:

Washington (freelancer workout)

Grif (duh)

A!Church ( like Tex would peg anything less)

Doc (Track)

479er (honestly no reason other than I’m a dumb bisexual)

Lopez (seems like a Sarge thing to do, instead of fixing his language setting)

I mean.. it’s there I guess.. not much else I can say..

York (Just short of bootylishous from his time in hiding)

Sarge (he’s just block shaped in general)

Tucker (give up the booty lift massages, it’s just not going to happen)

South (at least it’s there after all that hard work)

Certified stick

Simmons (Sarge replaced your ass with a fax machine, you loss a big asset that day)

Wyoming (you sir have been skimping out on leg day all your life and I refuse to believe otherwise)

Price (never really cared about body strength)

CT (I’m sorry hon but..)

E!Church (being able to change your body proportions at will does not count)

Shelia (is tank) (nice treads tho)

Less ass than a tank

Hargrove (stinky)

How could you have inverted ass??

Director

who has the best ass in rvb this is an important question

[facethroughthemirror]

In The End, We Come Right Back

Chapter Two

They’d seen Maine get back up after taking massive amounts of damage. And every time, he would get up and keep swinging, rush his opponents like an angry bull, shrug off the pain like it was nothing. This was Maine. Hulking, indestructible Maine. Maine with god-tier endurance and an adamantine skull. Maine with the strength of, according to Agent Pennsylvania, about twenty-three bears, give or take a bear or two. Maine, who was both the unstoppable force and the immovable object.

But Maine didn’t get up.

Cross-posted on ao3

"... the Mother of Invention has all kinds of information in the library, right? Not just military and history?"

The older blond glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, setting his coffee down. "... I think so. Why?"

Washington looked down into his cup. He'd already drained it once, and he was almost done with this one again. "... I want to try to learn some sign language. I know a little bit already, I tried to learn when I was a kid, but I want to try to learn a little more. Teach some to Maine while he's recovering. I can teach him to spell, and count to like ten, but after that, not a lot I can do. I think Florida was talking about knowing sign language awhile ago, maybe he can help out a little."

"I think that's a great idea, Wash," North nodded. "And I think Maine will too."

"... I know it won't be any replacement for Maine's voice, but..."

"I think he'll appreciate being able to communicate with someone. It might help him, even though he doesn't say much to start with."

"... maybe not to you guys," Wash mumbled, swirling his hot chocolate. "You just have to know how to understand him. He said... he says plenty to me."

"Well, yeah, you guys are bunkmates. You see more of him than anyone else. You probably have deep conversations about life or punching Wyoming at three in the morning. I mean, South and I do, anyway." North sipped his coffee. He tilted his head to look around Wash, and raised his cup in greeting. "Hey Carolina."

The teal-armored Freelancer made a noise in response to North's greeting as she walked around the table to sit next to him. She unhooked her helmet and removed it, setting it down on the table like the others. She looked tired, the youngest agent noticed. Clearly, the older blond noticed as well, as he immediately got up and wandered away, only to return with two more cups.

"So boss, anything to report?" North asked, handing a coffee to Carolina and another hot chocolate to Wash. "The Director debrief you yet?"

"Yes. He's talked to me, you, York, and CT." Carolina took an inhumanly-long drink from her cup before putting it down and folding her hands. "... Wyoming's awake. He'll be in Recovery for a few days getting the blood pumped back into him, but he'll be fine. York's got some pretty bad whiplash that they're checking out now. CT has a few cuts and bruises, but she'll be okay."

"What about Maine?" Wash asked instantly, thoughts beginning to turn back toward panic when he realized that Carolina hadn't mentioned him. And that there was probably a reason for it.

Carolina looked at him, and he withered a little under the burning of those green eyes, turning his own gaze down and away as he put his cup down and twisted his hands together in his lap. However, after a moment, the squad leader did answer his question.

"... Maine was shot ten times, nine at point-blank range, and kept fighting. He lost a lot of blood. Not to mention, he was tossed off a truck at high speed, bounced across several lanes of traffic, before getting hit by a bus and knocked off an overpass. No one could survive that."

Wash's mouth had gone dry as Carolina re-described Maine's injuries. He knew. He was aware. He took a shaky sip of his hot chocolate, partially to hide his fear and partially in an attempt to keep his tongue from shiveling up. He couldn't blame her for explaining, though, she probably didn't exactly know that North knew. However, at the last thing she said, he swore he felt his heart stop. Had Maine...? No, surely he would've been notified, he was Maine's partner after all...

"Those injuries would have killed anyone else," Carolina continued. She took another drink of her coffee, finally looking at Wash. "... so I guess we're lucky it happened to Maine."

Wash felt his blood boil, anger rising up from where it had retreated into his gut. Carolina went on to explain that Maine was still in surgery, but the current report was that he would recover. She informed them most of the wounded would probably be back on the M.O.I. tonight, including Maine, if nothing went catastrophically wrong in surgery. But all Wash could hear was Carolina's tone sounding far too chipped and businesslike. Didn't she care that one of her squad members had almost died?

After she finished speaking, there was a heavy pause. North made some comment or other, and when Carolina gave a laugh in response, Wash's temper ran out once again. It took him a moment, but he finally spoke into his cup, his voice small and forced. "... 'we're' lucky?"

"Huh?"

"We're lucky?!" he shouted, slamming his cup down. "No one is lucky here, Carolina! We're not lucky, the project isn't lucky, the only person who's maybe lucky here is Maine, and I think that's really for him to decide!"

Carolina and North were silent, Carolina actually looking a little shocked while North merely set down his coffee cup. He likely wouldn't hesitate to keep Wash from attacking Carolina out of anger, by any means necessary, now that he knew that it was possible. He may have agreed not to mention the incident to any of their superiors, but if Wash assaulted Carolina, one of those superiors, technically, that promise would probably have to go right out the window. However, his caution proved unnecessary when Wash merely crumpled inward on himself, folding his arms on the tabletop and putting his head down on them.

A long, quiet moment passed, before Carolina spoke again. "... I know how you must feel. It's... scary, when your partner gets hurt like that."

"Don't patronize me, Carolina. It's fucking terrifying," Wash shot back bluntly, voice muffled by the table when he didn't bother to raise his head. "Don't pretend you just saw Maine laying there and you weren't scared shitless. Because if fucking Maine dying on the pavement doesn't scare you, you're not fucking human."

North reached across the table, placing a hand cautiously on Wash's elbow. "Of course it scared us."

"I wasn't talking to you."

"... he's right."

Wash's head snapped up, startling North enough that he pulled his hand away. He had never heard Carolina sound that way. So... upset. Even teary. Green eyes turned down and away from the men around her, as if she just... couldn't look at them. Her gaze was fixed on her hands, folded in her lap.

"... Maine took a bullet for me. The shot to his chest, that was a sniper that got past me. It was enough to knock Maine down for about forty seconds. We think it was heading right for my spine, and if it had hit me, I could have been paralyzed. After I called him a baby and pushed him out a window."

"Maine would never complain about taking a bullet for someone," North reminded her. "He does it all the time. And he knows any of us would do the same for him."

"I could have knocked Maine off course when we were thrown off of the truck, maybe helped him stay out of traffic. At least maybe he wouldn't have gone off the overpass."

"You can't possibly have controlled that."

Carolina finally turned her eyes up, then turned her head almost robotically to lock them onto North's. Wash noticed that they no longer seemed to burn in their sockets: on the contrary, they seemed blank. Detached. When she spoke again, there was no emotion in her voice. As if she had simply shut her heart off. "I let that soldier throw her gun to the man who shot Maine's throat out."

Anger began to leech into Wash's blood again, coursing through his veins and oozing into every fiber of his being. Someone with Carolina's skill should have easily been able to prevent what had happened, and what made it worse was that she prided herself on her apparent-flawlessness. On being he very model of a warrior. Being perfection incarnate.

However, Carolina's voice halted the building anger before it could erupt again. "... Maine nearly died because of me. A sniper shot him in the chest instead of shooting me in the back. And I couldn't stop him getting shot in the throat."

"Carolina, don't say that," North started.

"Why not. It's true. Maine will probably never be the same after this."

"You didn't shoot Maine. You never laid a hand on the gun that did this to Maine."

"It doesn't matter if I pulled the trigger or not!" Carolina's voice broke alongside her composure, tears beginning to leak from her eyes and slide down her face to vanish from sight beneath her chin. "... I was the team leader. It was my responsibility to ensure the safety of my squad, and I failed. Arguably, I failed all of them."

"Failure is certainly an appropriate word, Agent Carolina," a new voice drawled from just out of their lines of sight.

The sound of it was enough to send all three Freelancers scrambling to their feet. They stood at attention, Carolina's cheeks still wet with tears, as the Director came more clearly into view. He had changed gout of the borrowed station scrubs, and had replaced his sunglasses on his face.

"The objective was, however, completed. No lives were lost, although two of your comrades were severely injured. Your failure, Agent Carolina, lies in your inability to remain objective about battlefield casualties. Are you going to blame yourself for Agent Wyoming's injuries as well?"

"Sir, she had more direct contact with Maine," Wash began, as respectfully as he could manage, though he was starting to get angry again. "It makes sense that she would feel responsible for--"

"I did not ask for your opinion, Agent Washington," the Director barked. "Agent Carolina, this is behavior does not suit a soldier of your ranking. You will collect yourself and report to the docking bay to board a dropship back to the Mother of Invention. Agents North Dakota and Washington, the same goes for you two. Agent York will meet you there, and Agent Florida will be the one flying you back. We need our better pilot on-hand at the moment."

Wash clenched his fists, but didn't dare to argue. He didn't want to think about the consequences just now. But, Carolina's voice surprised him yet again. "... sir, I believe it to be in the best interest of all involved that Agent Washington be allowed to remain with his partner, to keep him calm."

"And why would I allow that, Carolina?"

"... Agent Maine will undoubtedly require a few more blood transfusions after his surgery, and probably intravenous painkillers."

"Your point?"

"Agent Washington can explain."

When both the Director and Carolina looked at the gray-armored young man, he felt his blood freeze. He made a noise in the back of his throat, but then squared his shoulders a little more and cleared it to disguise the fact that he'd almost used his partner's real name. "... Maine doesn't react well to needles, sir. And IVs are kind of the worst. The Counselor can tell you why he doesn't like them."

"This is a civilian outfit, sir," Carolina picked up. "The staff would not be equipped to handle Maine if he acted out. And only Agent Washington has shown consistent ability to calm Maine down if he becomes agitated or enraged."

The Director stared silently at Carolina for a long, long minute. His jaw set, and Wash swore he could hear the man's bones crack. He straightened up, sweeping a look down the short line of soldiers in front of him and lingering briefly on North, as if silently daring him to add to the conversation. When North said nothing, the Director continued to speak.

"... arguing with a superior does not suit a soldier of your caliber, Agent Carolina. And it does not suit a soldier in general, Agent Washington, but you know all about that." He adjusted his sunglasses. "The wounded are being prepared for transfer as we speak. Agent Maine will be kept sedated in order to be relocated back to the Mother of Invention. Despite the issues we've just had here, Agent Washington will be waiting in Recovery One for his arrival. Now, all three of you, get back in uniform and report to the docking bay this instant. That is an order."

[patema-introverted]

Because @freelancercarolina and I were talking about this last night, the freelancers in an Escape Room:

“We will bond meaningfully, and that’s an order.” – Florida

Carolina finds the first key

Tex finds the second, Carolina declares that she doesn’t need help and can find them all on her own. Tex shrugs and sits back to watch the impending chaos. 

the twins won’t stop arguing because South isn’t following the clues in order

Florida wasted one of their three questions asking the employee how their day was

They hear an ungodly squeak: it’s Maine, he just found a fake hand in a drawer

he recovers almost immediately, only to throw the fake hand at Wash, who starts crying

“York is trying to pick the lock, is that cheating?” 

“Only if he’s successful.”

“Oh okay we’re good then.”

Carolina finds the third key by accident when she kicks the desk in frustration

part of the last clue was in how the chess board was set up, but Idaho and Iowa have been playing with it for the last hour and no one can remember how it was set up originally

“Hey, do we still have two questions left?”

“Sorry, now you only have one.”

“Fuck.”

Ohio finds the last key, but then trips and drops it under the desk

CT’s arms are too short to reach it

Wyoming tries but his arm gets stuck

“Hey, um, hypothetical question, what happens if we lose one of the keys under the desk?”

“What? Okay, we’ll come get you out.”

the employee can’t figure out how to open the door

Ohio is standing in the corner with her hands over her face

CT and York are now trying to stop North and South from decking each other

Wash is still crying

Tex tries to shoot the door hinges to get out

they’re asked to please not come back what the hell who brings weapons to an Escape Room

Tex is confused, why wouldn’t she bring a weapon wherever she goes?

“Well, we all had fun, and that’s what matters.”

Wash is still crying

[spacespazz101]

Train Wreck Meets Dumpster Fire Part 1

Train Leaves the Station

Agent Washington was leaving the mess hall when his coms alerted him that he was needed in the briefing room in 10 minutes. Wash let out a groan, he had 10 minutes to make it to his room on one side of the Mother of Invention and get to the briefing room on the other side. He would have to run. It would the first mission they had given out since Agent Texas had joined and York had been hurt.

 Wash was the last agent to make it to the briefing room. He entered the room with a burst of energy managing to barrel into Agent Texas in the process. “That hurt-OW!” Wash hadn’t even been down for thirty seconds before he was being hoisted up by North who immediately began to berate him for his recklessness. He caught sight of Agent Texas as she stood up. Although she was wearing her helmet, she seemed to be looking at him through her visor.

 “C’mon Rookie, the Director and Counselor are on their way!” South whispered to him as they all moved to stand at attention in a line. They heard the two coming before the door opened, that by itself was out of the ordinary but by the time they were standing outside the door they could hear the entire conversation.

 The Director and Counselor were arguing! Or as close to arguing the Counselor ever got. “-we don’t know if it was just a malfunction with communications, there have been reports of solar storms in that region. That could have caused a loss of communications.”

“Counsellor, my mind is made up they have missed three check-ins I am sending the team.”

  The Director ended the conversation by entering the door. He turned towards the gathered Freelancers, all doing their best not to look like they had been eavesdropping. Without a word of greeting the Director started the briefing, “Last week we lost contact with a satellite training facility. All communications have been shut down and we have yet to re-establish communication. You will be investigating this base to see what is going on.”

  “What’s housed inside the satellite base sir?” Carolina questioned. Her entire body was tense.

“The counselor has taken up a pet project, called Bravo team. They are a mix of SIM soldiers and retired UNSC troops. They aren’t at a level everyone here maintains which is why they have never been on the Mother of Invention but they are skilled enough that they served as beta testers for some of the more dangerous enhancements and have some intelligence on our operations. Which is why it is imperative that what they know not fall into the hands of the Insurgence.” The Director answered his tone clipped as he pulled up a hologram of a standard SIM boxed canyon.

 “Your mission will be to go to their outpost and find out what happened to them. If there are any survivors bring them back. We do not have any blueprints of the satellite base beyond the standard SIM bases. Since you will be going in blind the entire team will be going to ensure maximum success. That will include Agent Texas.” The Director paused to look at the entire group. No one spoke, not daring to be the one to anger the tightly wound Director.

“Carolina you will be leading this mission, Agent Texas will be your second in command.” That got a response. Carolina began to object. “But sir-” “But nothing Agent Carolina. The accident was not Texas’ fault and with Agent York still in the Medbay healing from Agent Maine’s grenade you are down a man already. Besides the experience will do her some good for when the time comes for her to lead her own team.” The Director cut off Carolina sharply before he began to go over the base’s layout and defenses.

 Everyone looked away from Carolina to pay closer attention to the Director’s briefing. But Wash kept looking at Texas. Although he couldn’t see her hurt expression through her visor, he couldn’t help but feel for her. He had been the unwanted rookie before she had joined up. But he had managed to go past that when York and North had taken pity on the confused newbie. Texas hadn’t had that chance. Since she had been introduced to the Mother of Invention she had been avoided like the plague. Whispers and rumors had prevented others from approaching her unless strictly necessary. Even other freelancers had approached her with caution. Only working with her for training when necessary. Otherwise she sat alone during lessons, ate in her room alone, and trained alone.

 “Agent Washington will provide any support that Agent York may have provided…” Wash jerked bask to the briefing hearing his name. He resolved to approach Agent Texas before this whole thing started. It was the least he could do.

 *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_TRAIN_WRECK_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 The Briefing couldn’t have been over soon enough. It was bad enough that the Director hadn’t spoken to her before he informed the team of adding Texas to the roster, but she had to lose control in the middle of the meeting over it. Texas had left immediately, rushing to catch the Counselor before he left.

“Wait! You forgot your commlink!” Wash called after her, holding the com unit she had lost in their collision at the beginning of the meeting.

“Forget about it. I’ll get it to her tomorrow when we leave.” Carolina growled, snatching the device from his hand and walking out before he could protest. She could meet with York and tell him that he wouldn’t get any company for a while.

 As she walked towards the Medbay Carolina examined Texas’ stolen commlink. She had a different com unit than everyone else. Of course she did. She was a special case. Carolina made it to the Medbay before she could investigate what made Texas’ commlink so special.

 Taking a breath to center herself. Carolina put all thoughts of Texas and the Director to the side. She needed to focus on not stressing York out. Or it would hinder his recovery. Carolina took off her helmet and opened the door. Carolina tried to put something resembling a smile on her face only to freeze.

 York wasn’t in his bed.

 Carolina was about to call a search party when she heard a voice behind her. “Wow isn’t this a nice surprise. I was hoping to surprise you with my recovery in your room, but I guess you beat me to it.” York’s voice coming from behind her had Carolina relax minutely.

 “You’re ok.” She scolded herself for sounding so relieved, but York had been touch-and-go for a while. “Yea, I should be released in a few hours. So, I should be ok enough to join you on the mission tomorrow.” He was right behind her now. She would only have to lean back an inch and they would be touching. Carolina still hadn’t turned towards him. She couldn’t show emotion right now. She needed to be the best and the best didn’t get emotional.

 “Are you sure you are alright to go on this?” That was a good, professional subject. No way to drift into more personal waters. “I wouldn’t push it, I’m ok.” He repeated. Not crossing the few centimeters needed to make contact that both of them craved. “But I will be well enough for a recon mission.” York kept the discussion professional, never straying into topics she didn’t want to go into. Carolina was thankful for that.

 They spent maybe an hour just like that. Not touching, not looking at each other, only talking only about the upcoming mission. Finally, a medic came in to discharge York. They gave him one more look over and told him he was ready to return to normal activity as long as he didn’t push himself too hard.

 They went their separate ways after that. York to get the green light from the Director and her to get ready for the mission in the morning.

 The night passed uneventfully York had messaged before she had fallen asleep. her the Director had no problem about letting him on the mission.  

 As Carolina was getting ready for the mission in her room when she heard a beeping coming from a commlink. Scrambling for her own commlink Carolina realized it wasn’t coming from her com.

 Carolina still had Texas’ commlink and it was unlocked.

 *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_MEETS_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

 The plane was prepped and ready for the mission. They were supposed to leave in ten minutes.

 So where was Texas?

CT, South, and North were standing on the ramp. They were trying to talk a surprisingly stubborn Agent Washington out of something in their own unique ways. Whatever it was he wanted to do must be a bad idea because South kept repeating “rip your arms out of their sockets” as CT and North tried to get him to forget about his plan. Wyoming and Florida had been strapping in for the ride but had traveled to the top of the ramp to see what all the noise was about.

 “Sorry I’m late but I was trying to talk an idiot out of doing something stupid.” Agent Texas’ voice cut through the squabbling. There was a grunt of agreement from Maine as steps signaled that their wayward teammates had joined them. “Hey! I am ok enough to be on this mission I was discharged, and the Director gave his stamp of approval.” York’s voice protested.

 “Are you sure that you should be up?” Wash had apparently abandoned arguing with the others and had moved to stand beside York, as if afraid that he would collapse with the slightest breeze.

 “Yea, I’m doing ok. I should be good enough for a recon mission. Beside I can’t leave the Rookie to fuck up when I’m available.” York’s voice was light and teasing but Carolina took a moment to back up and look at Texas’ commlink again.

 She hadn’t had much time to investigate but she had found a massive amount of saved messages dating back to about a week after she went aboard the Mother of Invention up to the time that the satellite went off grid. If she had more time, she could have listened to some of the messages and get rid of her listening. But as it stood, she couldn’t risk letting Texas know that she was on to her. The entire thing was suspicious, and Carolina resolved to meet with the Director and Counselor after the whole thing was over to ensure that Texas was watched. Because Carolina probably found their mole.

 Carolina couldn’t help but smile under her helmet as everyone moved to join her. That was probably why the Director had made Texas the second in command. So that Carolina could keep a close eye on the potential mole.

 Afterall on an easy mission like this. What could go wrong?

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_DUMPSTER_FIRE_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

[vonlipvig]

Fodder vs. Freelancers - Episode 5

(If you’re looking for past episodes, just check the “Survivor RvB” tag in my blog!)

Quick recap! Last time, the Freelancers managed to get reward, but the Reds and Blues snatched immunity once again, sending the Freelancers on their second trip to Tribal Council, where they got rid of Wyoming. South and Donut visited Exile Island, but no idols where found.

Welcome to episode 5! If any of you have watched the original Fans vs. Favorites season of Survivor, you might know this episode is a bit...special. Why, you might ask? Because it’s time for a twist...

YES, WE’RE SWAPPING TRIBES! There’s no more Fodder, there’s no more Freelancers, *Tucker voice* RED AND BLUE IS A LIE! Two captains will be randomly chosen, and they will be in charge of picking new tribes. So, how does that work out for everyone?

Let’s analize this: The new Fodder tribe now has Carolina, CT, and North (OG Freelancers), and Church, Caboose, Doc, Sarge and Simmons. We can’t be sure who’s in trouble now, because either the remaining Reds and Blues band together to vote the Freelancers out, OR (and hear me out here) Church, Caboose and Doc go with the Freelancers to get rid of the Reds. Church wasn’t tight with anyone, but he does feel some affinity to Carolina, so that might work out for him...

On the new Freelancer tribe, we have Donut, Tucker and Lopez as the new members, with Maine, South, Tex, Wash and York. HAve in mind that ALL the Freelancer alliances are now separated, so will they get together to take out the new members? Tucker and Lopez were tight already, but what about Donut? Donut has spent time with South, will that affect anything? IS the simulation even advanced enough to do all I’m saying? WE’LL FIND OUT!

This is what the simulation is giving me regarding new alliances. As you can see...they’re not very strong (see all those Loyalty 3 people? That’s not real loyalty). And have in mind that the original alliances are still in play, just separated. 

With this mess, let’s go to reward challenge!

The new Fodder tribe wins! (Survivor Fun Fact, this is actually a really fun challenge in theory, but in the show it was so uncomfortable to watch cause one big ass dude just kept dragging his partner around. Yikes). Anyway, the new Fodder tribe gets lots of food for themselves, but it’s already immunity time! Will they win again?

They do! Fodder wins again! Oh, poor Freelancer tribe, they just can’t seem to win, can they? But with the swapped tribes, who knows what will happen in TC...

Notable Tribe Events: The behavior of North is rubbing the tribe the wrong way, which is...the most OoC thing possible, but we’ll let it slide. He’s without his sister, and he’s not very tight with Lina or CT here, let alone the others. Poor North. On the other hand, and tribe, the behavior of York is becoming appreciated around camp. What a helpful guy! I can totally see him making fires, fishing, doing all kinds of survival shit. And his confessionals would be pure gold, let’s face it.

But enough of that, it’s TC time for the new Freelancers, what will happen now?

Well, this is a shocker! The fifth person voted off Survivor Blood Gulch is Maine! Look at those votes, how did this happen? The Freelancers had the numbers! GET ME THE VOTES, ASAP!

Donut, Tucker and Lopez voted for Maine.

Maine, Tex, and Wash voted for Tucker.

And it was South who voted for Maine as well, making it enough to get him out.

And then York voted for South. Alright.

It’s a strange situation (and definitely one that’s not very realistic, but it is a simulation and we can’t expect 100% human logic, whoops. Also, I guess that’s on me for making them have smaller alliances, but whe can’t have it all), but one less Freelancer, huh? Imagine Lina, CT and North’s looks when they see them at the next challenge and see another Freelancer is gone, when they had the NUMBERS!

Find out what crazy stuff happens in the next episode of Survivor Blood Gulch: Fodder vs, Freelancers!

Next Episode - Beginning

[anneapocalypse]

[RvB 17.11] Stagnation

FIRST Spoilers

In isolation, Carolina’s Labyrinth scene was not out of character or inconsistent or objectively bad; however, cumulatively it is emblematic of the stagnation in Carolina’s writing since season 13. It undeniably resonates with viewers—but I deeply dislike what it represents and I’m going to talk about why.

So to begin, and to try and give this episode a fair shake, here’s what was good about Carolina in the Labyrinth.

Jen Brown kills it as always. It is no mystery that this scene resonates with people. There is a lot of emotion in it and Jen is a fantastic voice actor who always digs deep and does the best possible work with what she is given. Better than what she is given, in many cases.

Carolina’s self-hatred is, I think, evident in her character as far back as season 10 if you look at all beneath the surface level. I’ve said before that her actions make a lot more sense when viewed through that lens than if you look at her as simply competitive, and at this point I don’t think that’s a particularly radical statement. That self-loathing is given a particularly raw and painful manifestation here.

Carolina’s encounter is also the most on-the-nose representation of what the Labyrinth actually does: it seizes upon a person’s most negative emotions and reflects them again and again, further distorting them each time, until its victim succumbs to despair. The explicit, stated function of the Labyrinth is to drive its victims to suicide, which is dark even for this show. But given that function, it makes sense that the Labyrinth would seize upon the root of Carolina’s most self-destructive impulses.

I would also like to propose a theory that probably wasn’t authorial intent but which I think makes this whole thing read… if not well, at least better. It is already obvious to fans of Carolina that the Labyrinth’s representation of Freelancer Carolina isn’t truly her, and does not accurately represent what she was like in Freelancer. Others have said as much. But I would argue that “present” Carolina isn’t truly herself here either, because she both is not how past Carolina describes her, and says things about her past self that are untrue. Neither of them are real. The real Carolina is an observer in this scene, as we are, and the Labyrinth is subjecting her to two distorted versions of herself, both of them speaking lies.

Like I said, this probably wasn’t the intent, but it’s the only way this scene even begins to work.

Which is a pretty good segue into how it doesn’t.

“I feel so much rage when I look at you,” Carolina says to her past self. “You know that? You prioritize yourself over everything. You’re going to get people killed. Heck, you’re going to kill people. And they won’t always deserve it. Dad won’t love you more if you keep winning. He can’t. He died when Mom died. And you’ll bury him. Your competitive streak stops. I’m demanding it.”

“Oh,” says past Carolina, “you’re done? Okay. You got pretty talkative! No need for the lecture. I can read your whole shitty life from your whiny tone of voice.”

“Oh, you think you’re so—”

“Directionless? Scared? No. No, actually I—” Past Carolina laughs viciously. “I feel great. Weird to hear all that from you, though. Let me unpack this. You’ve now tasted defeat, I’m assuming, and you were—aw, sad? For a while?” Her tone grows taunting. “And you want people around as crutches in case you trip again. When have I ever—think about it!—ever allied with someone I didn’t need? A friend in a high place. A bolt hole. A wing man. To forget how to utilize people is to forget yourself. Forget me. And frankly, that’d be damning enough, but you went further. Carolina, you stripped away what comes without thought. What’s instinctual. Your passion. What greater betrayal is there? You’re not you anymore.”

So let’s unpack this. First of all, how much of what the two Carolinas say is true?

It’s worth noting that it’s present Carolina who immediately goes on the offensive here, spitting venom at the image of her past self before that image has even spoken. And the things she says… “You’re going to get people killed. You’re going to kill people.”

So what is she talking about? Who did Carolina get killed by being competitive? Who did she kill?

If she’s talking about enemy targets that weren’t who she believed they were… I mean, yeah, they didn’t deserve it, but Carolina was acting as a soldier under orders and her being less competitive wouldn’t make those any less her orders.

Is she talking about the other Freelancers? Because… Carolina didn’t get them killed. North, South, York, Wyoming, Florida—none of them were killed by or because of Carolina’s competitiveness. The only one you could really ascribe to her actions is Maine, and there is a case to be made that Carolina gave up Sigma as much to prove she didn’t need an AI as to help Maine after his injury—but that act was based on such incomplete knowledge that to call it a direct result of Carolina’s competitiveness is a stretch. Furthermore, this argument always seems to ignore the fact that if Maine hadn’t gotten Sigma, someone else would have, and while we don’t know how Sigma might have behaved with a different host, it’s hard to imagine it ending without casualties regardless.

Are we talking about Biff? Because… we’ve been over this, but Carolina didn’t kill Biff, and Biff also didn’t die because Carolina was competitive. Biff’s death was an accident; even Tex, who threw the flagpole Carolina deflected, wasn’t intentionally aiming at Biff, though it does seem like she (or someone else inside that helmet, more likely) must have realized she was throwing it with lethal force. Had Carolina been less determined to win that particular match, there’s no reason to assume Tex (and Omega) would’ve dialed back their own aggression.

We also have evidence from other bits of canon that sim trooper deaths during training exercises were disturbingly common within Project Freelancer—a fact not one of the agents, not even Good Guy Do the Right Thing York, are ever shown objecting to.

Let’s look at what past!Carolina says about herself. 

“When have I ever—think about it!—ever allied with someone I didn’t need?”

CT.

CT.

You know, that person everyone forgets about when they’re trying to make a case for Carolina being purely self-serving.

I wrote about this one a long time, ago, but for a refresher: the first time we ever see Carolina question the Director’s orders is when he says that CT is an “acceptable loss.” Carolina embarks on that mission with full intent to disregard that order and try to bring CT in alive, despite that fact that doing so will be far more difficult and offers her no personal gain whatsoever and in fact results in her failing the mission. And while Carolina’s motives in the briefing with the Director may be subtle, her intent on the mission itself is not. The first thing she does upon catching up to Tex is to remind her that they only need the armor. And when she tries to pull Tex back from the killing blow, she explicitly, verbally, objects to Tex killing CT, and even knowing that they have failed the mission and that she will take the blame, Carolina still chastises Tex for what she’s done. This is not just subtext. This is text.

And this is not the only instance of Carolina caring about her teammates. The haste with which she calls for medics when York is injured in training, the offer on the Sarcophagus mission to come to Team B’s aid instead of going after their objective, the “No!” she screams out when Maine gets shot—none of these are the behaviors of a person who is only out for herself at everyone else’s expense.

Freelancer Carolina is not characterized as a ruthless lone wolf who disregards her teammates except when they can benefit her. Not matter how much certain corners of the fandom prefer to read her that way.

But all right. It’s the Labyrinth. It’s a distortion. It’s not supposed to be real. It’s amplifying Carolina’s worst feelings about herself.

Still, that distortion is meant to be reflective of something real. It certainly seems to be so for other characters.

So which of the above would Carolina likely blame herself for?

Well… we actually have canon on how Carolina feels about most of the above.

In season 13, Carolina apologizes to Sharkface for what she and her team did to his squad. “I’m sorry,” she says. “We were on one side of the fight, and you were on the other. We thought we were the good guys. I’m sorry.”

Let’s unpack that for a hot second. In this short line, Carolina:

expresses genuine remorse for what she took part in.

acknowledges that she acted on false information, and by extension, that not everything was her fault.

Season 13 Carolina knew that not everything was her fault.

Let’s go back even further.

In present day season 10, Carolina has a couple of vulnerable moments in which she states her motivations outright. And a large source of that motivation for getting revenge on the Director is the suffering and death of her teammates. She tells Epsilon:

Church, the Director's still out there somewhere. And I need to find him. Not just for what he did to me, but for what he did to York, and to Wash, to Maine, the twins, to all of them.

Even earlier in season 10, when Carolina stands with Wash inside the wind power facility, she says, “Poor Maine,” expressing sorrow over what happened to her teammate. When Wash says, “Carolina, it wasn’t your fault,” she says, “But it was my AI.” There is regret here, obviously, and I think in that statement in particular is no small trace of survivor’s guilt. Carolina knows full well that had she not given Sigma to Maine, the Meta might well have been her.

But that’s not all she says. She goes on voice her suspicions that the Director, at the very least, could have been aware of the dangers of the implantations. That he acted recklessly in his “little experiments.” She places that blame where it’s due.

My point is that even as far back as season 10, Carolina is capable of identifying culpability that was not her own, without outright denying or handwaving her part in it. There’s a balance in what she says there, when she talks about Freelancer. She blames the Director for his part in it, while also feeling the weight of her own involvement.

As for Biff… we can’t know how Carolina feels about that now, because Joe decided it wasn’t important for her to be told onscreen why Temple hated her, so we didn’t get to see a reaction. But we already have a part of Carolina’s arc in which she comes to see sim troopers as people, as friends, and then as family, and based on how she speaks of other parts of her past, it’s hard to imagine she would brush it off.

But Biff’s death is also a part of this arc, and Carolina’s part in the plot of season 15 sets a precedent for how she will be treated for the rest of this storyline.

What about that final accusation: "You're not you anymore."

Is this a real fear that Carolina has in the present? I mean, it could be, but it's not something she's expressed since, arguably, season 13, and even then, Carolina's fear that letting her guard down will get everyone she loves killed doesn't really resemble past Carolina's claim that she's lost the self-serving passion that made her who she was. This doesn’t reflect an expressed fear relevant to any of Carolina’s recent conflicts.

If it reflects something real, it's news to us.

I can accept that the Labyrinth is meant to take the worst things Carolina thinks about herself in her worst and darkest moments and amplify and distort them beyond even that. I’m personally not a fan of plot devices that allow writers to kind of throw characterization at the wall and then say it was bad on purpose. But okay, given the mechanics of this plot device as it’s been established—fine. It’s supposed to be over the top.

All right.

But what I just described isn’t character development.

It’s just putting the characters through an Angst Machine. You notice we’ve had a lot of that lately?

Let’s go back to Chorus again. Let’s look at the plot device this one is ripping off the True Warrior test. Still not my favorite McGuffin ever, but at least the portal on Chorus showed the characters something real. And for multiple characters, including Carolina and also Locus, what they saw in the portal drove some kind of character growth for them.

Because it was, on some level, real.

What is there for Carolina to learn from this experience that she hasn’t learned already—in past seasons and previous arcs which both Joe and Jason seem determined to ignore?

Carolina’s character development since season 13 has stagnated.

In the same way that this arc overall has resorted to recycling character and story beats from past seasons, Carolina’s writing in particular has sunk into a rut.

Season 13 gave Carolina a meaningful mini-arc in which her past came back to haunt her in the form of Sharkface, and collided with her fears of failure and loss in the present. This drove real growth and meaningful change for Carolina as she struggled to avoid falling back to old habits while also giving her all to protect her new family.

Most importantly, season 13 had Carolina engaging with her past in a nuanced manner. Carolina in 13 was able to separate regret from responsibility. Her apology to Sharkface was not self-flagellation. It was real, meaningful, and necessary. It was not Carolina taking on the blame for things she didn’t do.

In recent seasons, however, Carolina's only real plot involvement hinges on the writers beating her guilt like a dead horse and making up new things she did wrong.

Where Sharkface and the death of his squad were drawn from events we saw happen, Biff’s death (already a retread of Sharkface) was invented and inserted into past canon, and showed us a Carolina whose aggression and callousness felt out of place even for her Freelancer self. Carolina never heard Temple’s grievances onscreen and was never allowed to respond to them, so she wasn’t allowed any growth of her own from the experience of being put through the Angst Machine with Wash.

Season 16 invents yet another sin for Carolina: keeping Wash’s memory lapses a secret, because for some reason Dr. Grey doesn’t think it’s important to keep her patients informed personally and instead puts that responsibility on their friends. This of course blows up in Carolina’s face at the worst possible moment, forcing conflict between her and Wash and driving Carolina to make yet another mistake: the decision to time travel to save Wash, the catalyst for season 17.

This season has done some pretty decent damage control in that it has repaired Carolina and Wash’s relationship. Yet it’s still not allowing Carolina to move on from Freelancer. If we had to have a plot device that amplifies negative emotions, why not use Carolina’s more recent struggles, like the way her overprotectiveness and difficulty opening up even with people she loves led to her unintentionally hurting Wash?

There were warning signs, unfortunately. Wash’s time travel to the Freelancer era showed Carolina straight up refusing to speak to him, which… really isn’t something we ever saw Carolina do to her teammates in Freelancer. But despite Wash’s sympathy to Carolina in the present, Jason seems intent on driving home the point that she was unambiguously “mean” in the past. So I guess it’s no surprise that now we get to watch her feel bad about it some more.

In season 13, Carolina called the Reds and Blues her family, and expressed that she would do whatever it took to protect them.

In season 15, Carolina said she wondered if she’d missed her one chance at a fresh start, completely ignoring the fact that she’d already had one several seasons ago.

In past seasons, Carolina’s regrets led to her growing and changing. Now, recent seasons have reduced those regrets to static traits that never change. She was mean in the past (because with few exceptions, “ambitious woman who’s good at her job” is synonymous with “bitch” in RvB), and she’s going to feel bad about it forever. That’s it. That’s her character now. Past growth is discarded and ignored. We’ll continue to hammer on her past wrongs and her regret every single season, but she’s never going to be allowed to move on.

It's bad character writing. Yes, even if the plot provides a mechanic for it.

I’ve said this before, but Joe and Jason are not writing character arcs. They are simply remixing old character beats for Feels and then resetting the characters to status quo. We’ve seen it with Grif, and the same thing is happening with Carolina.

And furthermore, it really feels like a lot of these writing decisions stem from a very shallow impression of “what the fans like.” Fans like Wash angst, so hurt Wash for no reason. Fans didn’t like it when Wash and Carolina were close, so force some conflict, and when they make up be sure to inject a line about how they’re like siblings. Fans didn’t like Tucker being torn down in favor of Grif, so that must mean fans don’t like it when we pay attention to Grif.

Fans liked it when Carolina apologized and was emotional, so that means Carolina should always be feeling bad about something, all the time, regardless of context.

I don’t want or need Carolina to be in the spotlight. Like Wash, I feel at this point that she’s spent a good amount of time there, and it’s perfectly fine and good to let someone else have a turn. I’d be quite happy to see her just be one of the team—taking part in the story, but in a supporting role. She doesn’t need a dramatic new character arc. She just needs her past growth to be acknowledged. To matter in the present.

But to these writers, it doesn’t, because to them, characters don’t change.

This scene was undeniably emotional. But it is not growth. It is not, in this context, even particularly meaningful.

It’s just putting a character through the soulless gears of the Angst Machine.

It’s stagnation.

And if this is how Carolina is going to be written from now on, it just might be what makes me walk away for good.