#c did system

[systematicallydissociated]

DID rant

I don’t think people look into the other aspects of dissociation enough and just focus a lot on switching and alters. I don’t think enough people realize that dissociation and memory gaps can happen with the same person front the whole time. People don’t think enough about how intensely dissociated you can get and never switch.

I have a near constant headache, I can nearly never trust my memory, and I HAVE to rely on others I know to inform me of events and things even with how much I try to stay on top of them. I cannot remember birthdays, faces, or names. People get offended I don’t know their birthday but I do remember that you like this one band. I don’t control what I do and don’t remember.

I would never blame my actions on dissociation, I still try and live my life and be kind to everyone but that means that I do forget everyday things sometimes. I’ll forget a task at work I always do or say something and not even hear myself. My voice and hands are often distant and fuzzy even when I’m not switching.

My dissociation is SEVERE and gaps in my memories appear without me knowing. I’ve forgotten whole movies, days, there are months, near years missing from my life, and no one has that info, not another later, not a gatekeeper, it’s just gone.

It's not just about the alters.

[maine-pluralmind]

'Having D.I.D isn't just about silly alters!'

Thats correct it can also be;

Scattered amnesia that makes you question your own existence.

Alters moving objects when you thought you were in control and then freaking out cause it wasn't YOU.

Clothes hoarding to the point its a problem cause you feel like theres someone in the system who will wear it/ get upset if you throw it away.

Having a alter talk to you in the mind and keep you from having a panic attack.

Hearing a persecutor threaten you in the middle of a mental breakdown about something else.

Having alters/persecutors who hold trauma so bad that you can't look at them. Or having alters/persecutors who hold trauma so bad that they continue to act on.

[mentallystrawberry]

Shout out to the other chronically mentally ill systems who’s disorders and traumas have severely impacted your quality of life and functioning

shout out to polyfragmented or complex and highly complex did systems

shout out to the systems who are RAMCOA survivors, childhood sexual abuse survivors, or childhood torture survivors

shout out to systems diagnosed with other comorbid mental disorders

shout out specifically to systems with BPD🫂

shout out to systems who have lost relationships with people because of your mental health

shout out to the systems struggling with substance abuse issues or addiction

shout out to the systems who’ve been in and out of mental hospitals

shout out to fellow black systems and other poc systems with many intersecting marginalized identities

shout out to systems who can’t attend in real life school or are graduating late due to their mental health

shout out to the systems who can’t get a job or a drivers license

shout out to the systems who lost their childhood and teenage years due to constant mental health struggles

shout out to systems who have to take multiple medications for their disorders

shout out to the lonely systems who can hardly ever leave their homes and build friendships

shout out to the systems that struggle with the scars their sh addictions leave

shout out to systems who can’t take care of themselves without needing support

try to keep in mind that you are not the average persons, so we shouldn’t expect ourselves to be able to function just like the average person would. know you are all loved and are trying your best to navigate a society that wasn’t designed with poc and disabled or neurodivergent people in mind. i wish you systems the bestest recovery possible and i’m sending much love and support.

[littlest-bugz]

Lately the DID been feelin more OVERT than COVERT

[discordantdays]

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

CHAT

GUESS WHO JUST BOUGHT TICKETS TO SEE HAMILTON LIVE?????

WITH SOME OG CAST MEMBERS??????

IN SECOND TO FRONT ROW????????????

genuinely this is a dream come true i cannot begin to explain how excited i am for this!! middle schooler me NEVER would've thought we'd have the chance to see this show live!!

im so happyy!!

- Remy

[sysparent-culture-is]

calling all in-system pregnant headmates, parents, and guardians!

[pt] calling all in-system parents and guardians! [end pt]

this blog's specifically for you!!!! my name's angel, i'm the host! i use she/they/it/soft pronouns and i'm tired of us pregnant headmates, parents, and guardians not really getting spoken about much!

like my pinned post states (which you should read), this blog was 100% inspired by natalgenic-culture-is and i highly suggest going there if you were born within the system!

our ask box is always open for culture-is asks and general discussion! :D

we're pro endogenic/non-traumagenic!!!

promo tags...sorry if you didn't wanna be tagged! ^^"

@fictive-culture @tulpamancy-culture-is @tulpagenic-culture-is @paragenic-culture-is @endogenic-culture-is @polyfrag-culture-is @plurality-polls @pluralasking @plural-culture-is @intuspluric-culture-is @introjectheavy-culture-is @introject-culture @plural-positivity @multiplicity-positivity

[coining-system-terms]

Need motivation to do flags/terms/userboxes. So! Interaction game

Rules : max 5 reblogs per blog, don't want to spam that too much okay

Every 5 notes: I'll add one thing to my Google doc masterlist

Every 10 notes: I'll make a set of userboxes from my to do

Every 20 notes: I'll write the alt text and description for a flag I've already made but not posted (and then it'll get queued dw)

Every 50 notes, aka if we get to 50: I'll make a flag for a term I've already coined but not posted (then it'll get queued)

If we somehow get to 100: I will make the Google doc masterlist public. It has every flag, term and userbox I've made on, with dates and meanings and a table of contents.

200 ?!??!?! : I'll organise the Google doc even better than it is

[vamp-rem]

"fuck it we ball" i say as i am close to losing my shit

[sistematraumado]

Ways I call the alters of my system:

Silly

Kids

The babies

Alters

Assholes

Fools

Children

[theshadowymansionsystem]

I love you systems.

I love you systems with other disorders along with their DID/OSDD.

I love you systems who are physically disabled

I love you systems who need to use mobility aids. (We use one too! We use a cane!)

I love you systems who feel like they’re “weird” or “odd”.

I love you systems who are fictive heavy!

I love you systems who are brainmade heavy!

I love you systems who are factive heavy!

I love you systems who have a low split tolerance.

I love you systems who have a high split tolerance.

I love you systems who switch a lot!

I love you systems who don’t switch a lot!

I love you systems with communication issues.

I love you systems with frontstuck hosts! (I’m also front stuck at the moment myself lol)

I love you systems who mask all the time.

I love you systems who don’t mask all of the time.

I love you systems who don’t mind being a system!

I love you systems who hate being a system!

I love you systems who age regress!

I love you systems who are still in bad home situations! (My heart goes out to you guys I hope you get to leave soon.)

I love you systems who are out on their own!

I love you systems with inconsistent amnesia barriers.

I love you systems who use humor to cope!

I love you systems who panic over “small” things.

I love you systems.

Remember that no matter what you are real and very valid<3 you’re beautiful and unique just as you are.

-Alex Mason

[maine-pluralmind]

Decided to share an experience that we had as we've been dealing with D.I.D or at least acknowledging it.

We discovered our D.I.D around 2020. (I know it sounds like every fakers story but stay and listen)

As we started we thought logging alters was necessary, that keeping track of who's fronting and everything was how you fit in and keep everyone in line. Very quickly we learned that was wrong and practically impossible while still going through abuse.

And we learned thats okay.

Young systems, you don't need to have all these alters written down/logged in simply plural/ told to the whole world.

Instead us young systems should let alters do their job. Trauma is what caused this and trauma and stress is what is going to continue to happen to our small brain. It's okay.

Don't stress it. Let it. You can personally know everyone, and sometimes write about your brain mates. But lets take it slow.

[littlest-bugz]

It's just me, the seven other me's, and the eldritch abomination who speaks with multiple voices.

[discordantdays]

Please, please, do not listen to what Sophie has to say

Nobody is going after you. You are safe. Nobody is going to go after your family, or your friends. I understand the things she said are scary and hurtful and dangerous, but it's just to scare you. You are going to be okay

Please, take care of yourselves out there

- Vash

[sysparent-culture-is]

sysparent culture is yeah i'm a living pipe bomb. yeah i am taking care of baby warrior cats

Sysparent culture is...

[pplatonic]

Terms I use to describe my experience as a polyfragmented system

There are a lot of basic ways my system functions that differ due to being polyfragmented that I don't hear talked about very often or don't have their own words to describe. Here are some terms I came up with to describe my own system, if you find use in them, then use them.

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The Refragmentation Cycle

This is a cycle where an alter which functions as an 'umbrella' to 2+ fragments begin to slowly separate and come back together. This is distinct from being a subsystem - there is no more than one alter, just a single alter and its fragments.

Refragmentable Alter

This refers to an alter who under certain circumstances (such as stress) can fragment into multiple parts. These fragments may be the same every time or different every time. A refragmentable alter's fragments may fuse back into the same alter, or a fragment may permanently split off of the alter.

Refragmenting Phase

This is the part where the fragments begin to come separate such as in a response to stress. Depending on the system it may be more intense or less intense than a split, but the important part is that new alters are not being formed - an alter is just fragmenting off into its already existing fragments. This may happen with any number of an alter's fragments, up to all of them.

Trenchcoat Phase

This refers to the period of time where a group of fragments are not fully together under the same alter, but they are capable of functioning as that single alter as if they are in a trenchcoat. For a shorter way to refer to this, say "trenchcoating."

Defragmenting Phase

This is the period where the group of fragments begin to tie themselves back together into one alter, usually because they have been able to successfully cope with what caused them to fragment.

Fragment Departation

This is when, during any period where the fragments are not fully together, a fragment departs from the alter it usually operates under. The fragment may not be able to cope with the stressor that caused its alter to fragment. Afterwards, the fragment may stay functioning as a single fragment, it may attach itself to another alter, it may form into a new alter, or it may re-attach to the alter it functioned under at a later point.

Fragment Types

These are what I have personally discovered in my own system besides alter roles. I have fragments which deal with specific parts of our comorbid illnesses - or symptom holders! These are ones which I find are specific enough to coin as something deserving its own word. Since this is only based on my experience, please feel free to come up with your own.

Memory-Response Fragment

This is a fragment that deals with a very specific trauma memory and a specific response to it. An example would be dealing with sexual trauma memories, and thus the response is hypersexuality. The memory may not be an event itself, but feelings - the memory of being made to feel helpless may turn into a response of hyperindependence due to believing nobody else will help. A memory-response fragment may be seen as a hyperspecific kind of trauma holder.

Skill Memory Fragment

This is a fragment which holds memories pertaining to certain learned skills. A fragment may hold the memories pertaining to things like drawing, or composing music, or driving, or cooking, or even more cognitive things such as how to do math problems. An alter which has a fragment specifically for skill memories may find it harder to perform these skills if this fragment begins to separate from the rest.

Language Processing Fragment

This is a fragment which deals with understanding language, speaking, and writing. In trenchcoat phases it may be hard for other fragments to speak to the same capabilities as to when they are fully tied together with their language processor. In dire moments, it may cause the other fragments to have a verbal shutdown and need assistance in speaking, either by external people, headmates, or AAC devices.

The Internal Circuit

This is how I refer to my internal communication with my system. In comparison to people who have DID, not complex or polyfragmented DID, I have noticed there is a 'natural means' of communication between alters that comes to me that they do not have. My friends with non-complex/non-polyfragmented DID have great struggles communicating with other alters, and while I also struggle, between us there are small inner circuits where we have good communication.

I believe that most of the circuit leads back to our gatekeeper (due to his extensive work in making sure to meet every alter at least once, god bless his soul) and that is what allows us to communicate. If you've ever seen a visual representation of an algorithm linking different subreddits or wikipedia pages together, that's how I imagine it. I have circuits going towards a few alters I am close with, they have circuits going to alters they are close with. Usually this has something to do with where the alter came from - I am very close to an alter which split directly off of me.

The distinction that I notice is that many systems have to put effort into laying the groundwork for themselves. There is no pathway, they have to build the bridge themselves. Meanwhile, for very specific communications, there are different bridges around for my system. Communication for me is about finding the right bridges to cross to get where I need to go. If I want to talk to my gatekeeper, the ideal circuit to take is to the alter I am close to who themselves is close to the gatekeeper. And so on. Due to this, I'm not actually very adept at building those bridges in the first place. It takes conscious effort over a very long period of time to even lay down a couple of planks of wood, just like it would in another system. Thus, the majority of our system functons following its already laid-out circuit.

Common Circuit Patterns, in our system

Circles show alters, lines show the 'circuit.

Bridge: Alter A has no circuit towards Alter B, but they both have circuits connected to Alter C, and thus can communicate via a 'telephone' game.

Taskrabbit: Nobody actually wants to talk to Alter A, but Alter A can talk to Alter B whereas everybody else who wants to can't, and thus sends Alter A to bridge for them.

Groupchat: Everybody can talk to each-other! Yay! This only happens in our system up to four alters, so that's how I drew it, but I can imagine this can happen up to any number of alters in other systems (maybe our own, if we put a lot of work into it.) In our system, 'groupchat' circuit patterns very commonly happen within our subsystems.

Gate-Jumper: There are two groups of alters with their own circuits that cannot communicate with eachother, aside from Alter A and Alter B. This usually indicates a very big dissociative barrier in our system. Often, our gatekeeper is the gate-jumper or act as a 'bridge' alter inbetween a gate-jumper pattern.

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End of post. Yay. Thanks for reading. Again, if you syscourse on this post I WILL BLOCK YOU.

[coining-system-terms]

Poemitive : an alter whose source is a poem, whether it be written or spoken (slam poetry). (I looked for this term and couldn't find it so please consider this an alt if I am not the first to make it)

Flag Meaning : The shades of brown are often associated with writing but the small number of stripes represent how poems can say things in a different way to prose, usually in less writing. The alt version has an icon to make the flag more clear.