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as a transmasc person that wants to get pregnant and have a kid someday, i think it's pretty sick how some people are so disgusted with trans people having kids

my identity has nothing to do with the fact that i want to be a parent. i just want to! im transmasc and i want to carry my own child! that shouldn't leave me feeling scared to go to doctors and midwives for my baby, that shouldn't leave me feeling afraid of people's reactions when they see my belly, that shouldn't confuse people! its not a hard concept to grasp! not everyone that transitions wants to be childfree, some want their own kid!

and besides, it's their life, why the hell are you so pressed? you're not the person that's pregnant, so why does it matter to you?

i just simply cannot understand how some people are so upset over trans people carrying their own kid. it's a beautiful and wonderful thing if the person themselves wants it and is happy over it! something so precious shouldn't be tainted by others' disgust over it

(this was inspired by me looking up "transmasc pregnancies" on tiktok and being extremely disappointed in the comments)

[vamp-rem]

forgot this blog existed ngl

but anyways, i need to talk about this and get it off my chest

i want a child. so, so incredibly badly

i want to have a family with my husband, i want to experience painting a nursery and sewing/crocheting clothes for my baby and getting them cute little toys and stuffies, i want to watch my baby start to crawl! and take their first steps!!

i want to experience all the joys of having a kid! even if there are bad times too, i want the good times to outweigh them. i want to show my kid love and happiness and i want them to feel safe, things i never felt when i was younger

(i can FEEL this being controversial in the system, but we'll talk it out, eventually)

i think ive got baby fever again. damn

[vamp-rem]

i had the strangest thing happen last night/early this morning

i woke up and was touching around my ears (probably to make sure my gauges were still in), and i was completely shocked that i didn't have pointed ears (like a vampire)

i audibly gasped, and then came a wave of sadness. i was genuinely so disappointed that i didn't have them

i feel as though this has happened before? but i can't exactly remember a time where this has happened

weird

(is there a name for this? what exactly happened?? i am so confused)

[vamp-rem]

i absolutely love my partner more than anything in this world

the way he smiles, laughs, and talks. the way he speaks louder the more passionate he is about something. the way they gently scoot closer to me when we sit next to each other. the way he'll softly put their hands on my face to tell me how much he loves me. the way they listen and always keep an open mind to things he may not completely understand

i truly cannot understand how anyone could've hurt such a wonderful boy, but i will do everything in my power to guide him on the path of healing, whatever that may look like for them

(sorry im lovey dovey posting on side, it will happen again :p)

[vamp-rem]

was reminded of some questions i have and i wanna talk about them

i currently identify as a demiboy, with my other gender being nonbinary. does this mean i fall under the multigender label? i didn't think so before but now im assuming so?

and my romantic interests/sexuality(?) has been a mystery for a bit. ive been using panromantic for a while now (cause i might be demisexual/on the ace spec), but for a long time ive felt it hasn't really, felt right

i feel like a gay boy sometimes, feeling only attraction to other boys or masc people, but sometimes i feel like, idk, like a nmlnm person? like im more fem and more attracted to fem people? my romantic attraction changes often, especially depending on how im presenting at the time. also, in the time ive been with my genderfluid partner, ive only been attracted to him. i haven't felt any feelings or attraction towards anyone else, and i highly doubt i ever will again

so i guess what im asking is, what labels could fit me? does anyone else who identifies this way have similar feelings? and if so, what labels do you use? i really want to figure myself out, i absolutely hate the feeling of not knowing what i am

(thank you in advance to anyone that answers! also, contradictory labels are more than welcome to be used here!)

[vamp-rem]

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

you actually explained this in a way i could understand! i never knew it was possible to even identify this kind of way

i think i have some exploring to do with my sexuality now LMAO

hey, genuine question

what are lesboys? and gaybians? what are contradictory labels and what's their point?

i don't mean to sound rude, but ive been looking into them and i genuinely cannot understand them. maybe it's the autism and needing structure stuff, but it's very confusing to me

i wanna preface, im not against them at all. you do you. id just like to understand them better

[vamp-rem]

hey, genuine question

what are lesboys? and gaybians? what are contradictory labels and what's their point?

i don't mean to sound rude, but ive been looking into them and i genuinely cannot understand them. maybe it's the autism and needing structure stuff, but it's very confusing to me

i wanna preface, im not against them at all. you do you. id just like to understand them better

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CHAT I SAW A TINY MOUSE IN THE GARAGE

IT WAS SO CUTE

i wish i could've gotten a pic of it, but it ran away pretty quickly

i am going to try and befriend it

[vamp-rem]

when i told my partner that i believed i was a vampire alter, they immediately were so supportive and started calling me "baby bat" and his "bat boy" and i just DNDNXJSKANF

I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHHHH

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[vamp-rem]

thought id share this lil guy (me!) that i drew not that long ago

might make more, but im currently using them as discord emojis with my partner >:)

[vamp-rem]

"fuck it we ball" i say as i am close to losing my shit

[vamp-rem]

A Letter to You, M

hey, it's been a while, hasn't it? i know we haven't spoken in years, but i still think about you. i still have those pictures i took from our first sleepover at my (then) new place. i look at them from time to time, and try to remember the good times we had together

i remember us drawing at our lunch table (you, furry and hamilton art, me with my oc's that may or may not have ended up being alters), singing hamilton and heathers songs, and just overall being cringy and weird little middle schoolers. do you remember how much i loved persona 5? we were a trio, but i don't want to think about the other person. that's nothing but bad memories

you meant a lot to me, M. i can't remember a lot from that time, but i remember i always loved you. you were my closest and dearest friend, the first person to believe my DID, and the person who once saved my life. i wish i had repaid all your kindness then

i hope you're doing well. maybe you've gone and met your girlfriend from, what, texas? or florida? or maybe you've found someone new. or maybe not. maybe you have a great friend group instead. i truly hope so. and i hope you continued with art. you were always better than i was, you were an incredible artist, and i envied you greatly

i wonder what kind of person you've become. i wonder if you're still a girl, or if you're trans like me. i wonder if you've explored your sexuality more. i wonder if you're still full of life like you were before. there's so many things i wonder about you, but i fear this would be too long

if, by some chance, you see this post, i am always more than willing to talk again. however, if you want nothing to do with me, i understand completely. i know i wasn't the kindest to you then, i know that i could've been a much better friend

sincerely,

k

[vamp-rem]

sys moment is seeing a post that i really like or agree with and going to like it, just to find out it's already liked

[vamp-rem]

i can't wait for the day that i get to have fangs put on my teeth permanently

i want to BITE MY HUSBAND

(edit: they told me to add this <3)

[vamp-rem]

i don't wanna go to work i want to live in an old abandoned castle with my lover and wear victorian clothing and have a swarm of bats fly at my visitors when they open the doors

[vamp-rem]

still not sure if i should use the "otherkin" and "vampire kin/vampkin" tags, since, im not really sure about my identity with it yet

i don't really feel connected to being called otherkin, i never felt like i was kinning, i just, AM a vampire (definitely has more to do with being a system than i originally thought)

i do, however, feel connected to being called nonhuman and to being considered nonhuman. maybe ill stop using those tags from here on out?