#c:ritchie

[reallifehqgossip]

any secrets you'd like to spill?

“Adie killed Ritchie.” 

[tnxgled]

“Okay okay, I know I haven’t been around a lot lately and I’ve been lacking on my flower delivery duties and ––” she held up a basket larger than her with almost every kind of flower they had at the store. With a grunt, she let the basket down as she took a step into Ritchie’s home without a proper invite. “So where do you need the most brightening up?” Reaching down she plucked a tulip before handing it to him. “Happy Tuesday.” 

[reallifehqgossip]

If you could pair everyone off, who would you pair with who?

You sure are asking a lot of us, but fine. I’m going to need more wine for this. Since you’re so interested:

Katya and Kenna

Belly and Laurel

Jaycee and Cammy

Pax and Evie

Sebastion and Gisells

Guiren and Madigan

Meredith and Charity

Danny and Rusty

Zelda and Calum

Chanel and Alec

Chase and Matt

Mickey and Kelan

Christoph and Micah

Jonathan and Dex

Joe and Fallon

Ritchie and Stella

Avery and Adeline

Rico and Madison

Samuel and Ilayna

Tyler and Hannah

Shane and Harper

Gabe and Hollis 

[reallifehqgossip]

I weirdly want shane and kenna to get together? madison and calum. hollis and katya. gabe and fallon. evie and quentin. ritchie and hannah. matty and danny. stella and zelda. cammy and kelan. paxton and mickey. bella and tyler.

“Okay. Professional opinion on each. Here we go. 

Shane and Kenna, why does this sound so good? Surprisingly a fan. Not something you’d expect but eloquent. I think Kenna could teach her a few things.

Madison and Calum, an absolute power couple that would be a total wreck! She’s kind of crazy and trying to fuck an alien. She was one of the few girls he was told he’s not allowed to fuck. Give it to me baby! 

Hollis and Katya, LOVE THIS AS WELL! A Brit and a small tiny person. Adorable. Someone set this up. Free date to Olive Garden on me. 

Gabe and Fallon, YOU MY GOOD SIR ARE GOOD AT PICKING. I hope she calms his soul, but frees his wild spirit! He’d take her to bed like the sexy lil Librarian I know she can be.

Evie and Quentin, these two would be bad news together. All sorts of messy in the best possible way. These are the two I would expect to be banging in the back of a cop car after both getting arrested on their way to the precinct. 

Ritchie and Hannah.. I don’t know how I feel about this. Ritchie has that bad boy, evil mastermind bravado and Hannah has that innocent but likes herself a daddy kind of way about her. I’VE DECIDED I LOVE IT. 

Matt and Danny, they kinda look like siblings so I’m not sure how I feel about this one but I know they have chemistry! So why not give it a go boys! 

Can Zelda handle being the second mom of the entire Gallagher family? 

CAMMY AND KELAN I HAVE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING MORE. THE BABY SISTER OF EVELYN AND THE OWNER OF THE G-SPOT ARE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. Once again offering a free dinner to Olive Garden for these two! 

Paxton and Mickey would be interesting. I feel like I need to see more of Mickey to really get a feel for him but I could be down with this. 

Are you referring to Belly? Belly and Tyler… I LOVE THIS TOO! It’d be interesting to see if he could handle her. Bad boy bravado and all. Give it to me baby!

Whoever sent this did a surprisingly wonderful job.”

[reallifehqgossip]

Release Ritchie's autopsy report!! There's some fishy shit going on in this place!

“The autopsy report says that he was stabbed repeatedly. Over and over and over. Organs slice and diced like they’d been put through a food processor. Also found some womanly secretions in the groin area. Anyone else noticed Adie has been strangely quiet since he died? It’s almost like SHE KILLED HIM AND WENT INTO HIDING!” 

[reallifehqgossip]

Best/Worst thing about Evie?

“Best thing about Evie? Have you met her? I’ve heard she can fit an entire pineapple up her cooch. Worst thing about Evie? That she’s fucking Ritchie.” 

[reallifehqgossip]

you seriously think Adie could've killed him??? looks can be deceiving but... dude, Adie couldn't harm a fly if she even tried, much less kill an actual human being

“Have you never seen a horror film? It is always the creepy overly happy little blondes. And since she wasn’t the first to die, she is clearly the murderer. Case closed. Lock her up boys.” 

[reallifehqgossip]

Whoever found Ritchie is going to need a lot of therapy after that night.

“Jesus Christ. Have we disproven that the person who found him wasn’t the one that killed him? I’m not so convinced.” 

[reallifehqgossip]

Best match for Ritchie?

“I’m guessing I’d go to hell if I said Evie? So I’m say someone who could put him in his place. Like Katya, Monica, or Madison. Or you know… Jail?”

[reallifehqgossip]

does anyone know what ended happening with madison and ritchie on that boat????

“No. They floated too far and apparently our floaties wouldn’t carry us out that far so we are at a loss.” 

[reallifehqgossip]

Spotted: Ritchie and Madison relaxing on a boat. Wonder what those two are getting into?

“Big news! Big news! Does anyone have eyes on the boat! Where is this boat? A literal ship sailing away with two of our residents and NO ONE HAS EYES ON THEM? Fired. You’re all fired!” 

[reallifehqgossip]

who's most likely to pass along an STD?

“Ritchie. Or Charity? No judgement on what you’re doing but maybe wrap it up.”

[reallifehqgossip]

did you hear about ritchie??

Of course I have. It’s hard to miss a giant pile of blood and a potential homicide victim. We here at Daily Dayton will keep you guys updated, but it’s not looking so good for ol’ Ritchie right now.

[reallifehqgossip]

Charity and Ritchie fucked in the corn maze. I gotta ask, did the corn stuff on the ground make it at least comfy

“Highly doubt it. Corn stalks and their dead leaves do not a comfortable bed make. They must have really wanted to fuck if they couldn’t wait to get to literally anywhere else that would have been more comfortable.” 

[ @chxrityx, @ritchienotrichard ]