#can throw a sketch on top of it too so it feels more like... idk official or some shit

[arolesbianism]

I wanna take a crack at making some fake screenshot graphics for my Sif Odile duo loopers au but I do not feel confident enough in my ability to mimic isat's art style and I also have a crippling fear of drawing backgrounds

[muse-bs]

might try my hand at doing short little drabbles every now and then

[tiredsmashbros]

SMG34: LIPBITE COMIC WIP UPDATE

oh boy... i know a bunch of folks are hyped for this comic... and boy oh boy are ya'll's prayers going to be heard... kind of... butt for the celebration milestone, and granted majority are from this comic, i thought it was best to give EVERYTHING that i have currently.

starting off STRONG with what you freaks most want: the completed pages. andddd yep that's it that all that i have done LMAO. i've been fixated on my own smg4 oc: tsb, and during the end of my summer was unfortunately fucked over by some personal issues that fortunately got resolved last minute good grief the anxiety prevented me from drawing the gays sigh... aNYWAYS LINEART WIPS!!!!

here are linearts i have completed / in the progress of!! want to aim like i did in the past by finishing up lineart first, and then speed through with color + minor rendering. the reason i have a few colored is to test out what it would look polished and my god... i have improved A LOT. THESE GAY PEOPLE GIVE POWER I AM NOT KIDDING BELIEVE ME IM NOT CRAY- anyways onto wip pages!

jumpscare: tsb stickman sketches. oh yeah. this is how i sketch and i blame sensei eiichiro oda /j. and in case anyone is unable to understand it {i don't blame u LMAO}, smg4 wakes up from the dream and is startled to see mario by his bed. they have a short convo before mario leaves, and we get a job to smg4 in the bathroom trying to put up a brave face. until the moment he leaves he's stunned due to seeing smg3 at his front door. will i elaborate more on specifics or unwritten dialogue? NOPE! gotta keep secrets to make it even more enjoyable at the end!!

currently at 13 sketched pages total, but this is probably gonna be reaching towards 20-ish pages, surpassing part two, but it will depend on how i come up with how to end it. additionally to confirm there will be a PART FOUR / chapter 3, to end this story. my goal is to have it done before i finish my senior year, or at least during the summer after i graduate bc good lord who knows whats gonna happen.

and lastly, before i end this crazy update, SCRAPPED PAGESSS!!!!!

CONTENT WARNING : NSFW SKETCHES !!!! PLEASE LOOK AWAY IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR DON'T LIKE THIS TYPE OF STUFF!!!

oh boy... dont draw comics while sleep-deprived at 6am... idek what i was even aiming with this ngl other than just for fun, but i scrapped it due to not being what i had in mind for the story. if it doesn't serve a purpose or narrative, its bye bye YEAH BYE BYE THIS IS THE CLOSEST NSFW UR GONNA GET FROM ME HAHAHAHAHA- i say that despite writing a nsfw jojo wattpad smh im only confident doing it in words good lord. btw not watermarking these bc i gen don't care since they're legit scrapped {left top part was kept and completed} so idk what to do with these. im just throwing it and walkin away

now to end with this update, i can hear your question, "when will this be done?" and to answer that question: i'm not entirely sure due to my heavy focus on my smg4 oc: tsb, but my best chance is postponing my oc lore a bit and complete this before november UOIYGJDSIUHJKDWSXYUGHJKCS but we shall have too see...

if you want to join the ping list comment on this post LMAO [click]

ignore below if you're not from the tsb birthday partydddjdhdhdjd

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thurs: smg34 is canon in the tsb universe / au. though most of their encounters are platonic or best-friendy-way, they eventually express their feelings to one another and start dating 3/4’s way of the tsb storyline arc. tsb is a supporter of his friend's relationship and admires and takes inspiration from their relationship heavily to input his future love life. yearning to be in a similar position... to learn what is to really love someone... or what it's truly like to be loved...

[verysium]

how bllk boys would react when u draw them, could either be rlly good or rlly SHIT u choose idk (plz include barou and the itoshi bros) 😊😊😊 i love you and ur works, and the way u write the boys and ur content makes me laugh fr, one of my fave bllk authors mwjahaja 😓 have a great day, ily:3 and the icks post made me smile like all of ur posts do!

thank you so much anon ♡ this ask had me contemplating very seriously, so apologies if it's a bit late:

sae is definitely awestruck in some way, even if he doesn't immediately show it. i think i talked about this in a previous headcanon, but he has a deep-seated admiration for artists who can grasp abstract concepts because he himself cannot. he would be somewhat flattered if you drew him since he's never considered his own appearance to be particularly inspiring. would be appalled if you considered him your muse. like....why? to him, his looks aren't anything of importance (clearly he is blind.) would probably say your drawing was inaccurate but then hang it up by his nightstand so he can look at it every night before he goes to sleep. if you're a full-time artist, he probably keeps a little stash of your gifts in a small box beneath his bed. sometimes if he's having a bad day or he lost a game, he goes back and flips through them just to make himself feel better. secretly loves the way you draw his bangs and the little swoop you do in your signature.

kaiser corrects every single detail in your drawing. stands behind you and gives you little pointers here and there. he should have an 8-pack, not a 6-pack. his jawline isn't sharp enough in your initial sketch. poses shirtless in front of you so that way you can encapsulate the full extent of his sexiness. shows off your drawing to every living creature in existence. "isn't he handsome?" like...🙄 yeah, michael we know. he's probably the hardest to draw because of his tattoo, so i think he genuinely appreciates it when you put in the effort to capture his intricacies. will never admit this but he's low-key proud of you and your talent (mostly just your ability to make him look good.)

rin is one of those people who doesn't understand hyperrealism. like why does he need a highly detailed sketch of his face when he can just take a photo and print it out? i don't think he understands art in general. probably despises modern art too. he'd take one look at a rothko painting and be like....i could draw this too...in my sleep. similar to sae, i feel like he's just numb to the sentimentality of gift-giving. doesn't understand why you would waste your time drawing a little picture of him, but it does make his heart feel strangely fuzzier, so maybe he'll keep it this one time. lo and behold, months later he now has a collection of your drawings he doesn't have the heart to throw away. refuses to let isagi or anyone see them because they're meant for his eyes only.

yukimiya has impeccable taste. in fact, he's probably an artist himself. i think it'd be cute if you both drew little sketches of each other throughout the course of your relationship. but neither of you ever knew until you gifted him your sketchbook for christmas, and he was like....guess what...i drew you too. thinks you're pretty even when you don't think so. sometimes when you're having a coffee shop date, he scribbles a portrait of you on his napkin because the sunlight hit your cheek just right in that moment, and the birds were chirping, and he fell in love all over again. i think it's also tragic that he's slowly losing his eyesight, so he won't be able to enjoy your drawings and the vibrant colors you infuse into them. that's why he treasures them even more. probably thumbs over the pages from time to time. memorizes every stroke and line.

isagi likes the way you always draw that little tuft of hair that sticks up on the top of his head. it looks like a cute little bean sprout. he pins your drawings up above his bed next to a polaroid of you two in germany. buys you a professional art set for your birthday. if you're a digital artist, he buys you a new tablet and stylus.

bachira adds his own doodles next to yours except he makes a chibi version of everything. always pesters you to include his little fangs. uses the boldest combination of colors. he would definitely be a messy artist. paint everywhere. fingernails perpetually stained a different color. you both draw during class, so when you two trade notebooks to actually study......there aren't any actual notes.

barou acts like he doesn't know what to do with your drawing of him but then the next day you visit his house, and he's already put your artwork in a fancy picture frame. refuses to let anyone else even stand within a ten meter radius next to it because he doesn't want their "nasty fingerprints" all over your beautiful masterpiece.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

More replies about recent stuff, plus some random twst stuff pluuuus a reply related to a Malleus sketch from our 🔑🔞twt <3 Thank you for your questions.

thestarlightfae asked:

...Do I want to know what Lilia has on his phone?

Somehow I doubt it… But he wouldn’t mind showing!

Anonymous asked:

Ryuichirou just to let you know your literally the reason why I download Tumblr and I'm so so glad I did so🙇🙇

Oh god Anon, I am very sorry for doing this to you LOL Thank you so much!!! <3 I am glad you’re enjoying it!

m1lk-n-cook1es asked:

Dragon Malleus has six limbs and is therefore an insect. Discuss

(idk if he has 4 limbs in the dragon body but oh well)

Does…that mean that a centaur would also be an insect? This is kind of troubling… 😟

I think this is something we could discuss for hours until Malleus appears and ends this discussion forever, looking offended af :(

Anonymous asked:

Ace and malleus won't be together because ace has no Rizz  and no skills. he would fumble malleus so hard he would end up with someone else twice over, who im not sure but definitely someone he has to see a lot

(related to a reply about Ace the donkey to Malleus’ dragon)

OUCH, Anon!! You’re roasting Ace more than Malleus would’ve roasted him while literally breathing fire 😭🔥

Give this boy a chance. That being said, we all know the chance is slim….

Anonymous asked:

about the mosquitoes bites ! If you put a burning hot metal spoon on it for a few seconds the heat will kill the itchiness ! Tested and approved every summers you should definitely do it 👍

My favourite part about posting that mosquito comic is people recommending remedies for the bites…!

Thank you, Anon. I’ll keep that in mind.

Anonymous asked:

Would the twst ppl ever go down of ppl of the opposite sex? Or is everyone just gay? Like Floyd on a female riddle or something

-english is not good with me

“Everyone is gay” is our default because we prefer gay ships, but we don’t really headcanon sexualities for characters. If we ever come up with a good story with Floyd and fem!Riddle, nothing would stop us from indulging in it 💪 There are some that are more difficult for me to see with the opposite sex than the others though.

Anonymous asked:

Do the doms give oral? Like will the dom suck the sub's dick at all or nah?

With you would oral sec be strictly a bottom's job?

It is a tendency in my art to only leave it for the bottoms because it is a personal preference. But I don’t think that all of our tops would be strictly against it on the same level.

I wrote some hcs quite a while ago, if you want a detailed answer about someone in particular! Although I think my bias is pretty obvious lol Sorry.

Anonymous asked:

Okay the post of Malleus laying an egg from a while ago on your locked twt has been driving me so up the walls I haven't even been able to find the words??? I was so gagged when I saw it????

Shota Malleus always feels like he's totally convinced he's mature enough to handle Lilia and anything else you throw at him (he isn't) and him dealing with something like that when he's definitely way too young and unprepared and being completely overwhelmed and scared by it is SO GOOD

I can imagine him calling out Lilia's name in such a broken way, half upset because he just went through something really painful and scary and he wants to be comforted by his caretaker, and half because he's so confused and he has no idea what he should do and he needs Lilia's guidance, when Lilia was the one who put him into that mess in the first place... I worry that Lilia is going to take one look at him and their egg and be like "guess it's scrambled eggs for breakfast!" to cover his own mistake before anyone finds out 😭

(And also...... I just think it's a little hot... Malleus pushing out an egg that's too big for his body all alone in his room with nobody to help him regulate his breathing and pushing?? He just has to figure it all out on his own because he can't/won't call for help??? Squeezing that egg out a little at a time and slowly stretching himself open, before it falls back inside him and he has to start all over again, basically fucking himself on it until he finally gets it out... 🥵)

I am SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT, ANON!! <3 I want to say that it was a very self-indulgent sketch, but then again, everything that we post is lol

Poor Malleus absolutely wasn’t ready for anything like that to happen and he definitely wasn’t told that this was something that could happen to a dragon fae… And Lilia was probably surprised too, looking at him like shoot that wasn’t supposed to happen yet, wtf, “dragon eggs are rare” my ass lol Lilia really fucked up his cycles…

I guess they really are going to have scrambled eggs for breakfast…! God we had so many conversations about Lilia and dragon eggs, I really should finish that one comic from ages ago.

(I’m also glad you find this hot as well~ If definitely would’ve been much easier for him if Lilia was around when that was happening, poor thing probably thought he was dying or something. He often feels alone, but when that happened, he felt especially alone and helpless. It’s honestly a miracle he wasn’t mad at Lilia afterwards, but I guess it’s because he was way too shocked for that)

[ninetyminutes]

Hiya :) can you do a fic where chevy and Lorne get egnaged/married? I'm afraid i've become a simp for these two

So while I won’t give you a full blown fic (I have too many WIPs atm), I will happily and gladly give you one of my usual rambles :)

Side note, Rosie and Lorne would have to get divorced, but maybe they did when Lorne started to realize he was serious about Chevy. Rosie was of course happy for him. When Rosie and Lorne got engaged/married, Rosie didn’t want a ring. They did nothing the traditional way, and I think Lorne kinda felt like he missed out maybe just a little bit. Even if their marriage didn’t really last/was more platonic than romantic, I can still see Lorne secretly yearning just a teeny tiny little bit for some of those special moments.

So Chevy definitely gets him a ring and proposes in a super meaningful way. Not in public, somewhere where it’s just the two of them. Chevy would have loved to work it into a sketch, like a cold open where he falls and ends up on one knee in front of Lorne, but Lorne would prob be mortified and also completely off kilter for the entire rest of the show.

Maybe Chevy and Lorne are on one of Lorne’s weekly three-hour Sunday walks around New York City when he proposes. Maybe he proposes at night outside of 30 Rock or up on the Top of the Rock when no one else is around. I actually love the idea of them on the roof when Chevy proposes, like maybe they snuck up there to share a joint or something and Chevy just spontaneously decides to propose because when is it ever going to get better than this moment.

(more below)

Lorne wears the ring to work but says absolutely nothing about it to anyone. He’s always worn a ring on his ring finger on his right hand, but this ring is on his left hand, so maybe that’ll throw them off and they won’t notice. Rosie notices immediately—Drags him to his office and demands to know everything. Where and when and how, I mean every little thing. Gilda notices too, pretty quick. And I feel like John would also be one of the first to notice. He’d be like “Congrats.” And that’s it. Or maybe he wouldn’t even say anything, just look at the ring and then back at Lorne with a raised eyebrow. Lorne doesn’t say anything and waits for John to say something, who prob just pats him on the back and walks away.

In terms of the wedding? I’d think it’s something small but also not small at all. I’m just thinking of everyone Lorne is friends with and that list is long and also very high profile. However, it’d be super private. Obviously it’s held during the offseason. I think they would prob plan it over one off season and then hold it during the next off season because there’s no way they could plan it during season. I think honestly they’d be fine without having a traditional ceremony. ceremony at all but I can totally see Rosie being insistent on them having something small. Maybe they

There’s a few different bands that play throughout the night, maybe John and Danny play some Blues Brothers or something idk.

What if John gives a speech, which is surprising considering he doesn’t get along the best with Chevy and it’s hit or miss with Lorne sometimes. And it’s surprisingly sentimental and nice and it def gets them emotional like wtf John. Rosie definitely delivers the biggest laugh, talking about Lorne calling her to talk about Chevy all the time while she wasn’t still in LA or Toronto or wherever.

Anyway, it’s an open bar so everyone gets absolutely hammered, and maybe some of the cast joke about having to have another ceremony since so many of them don’t remember a lot of it.

[kaijukat-art]

Hi!! I just wanted to hop in and say that I love your art / style so much!!! Do you have any advice for newbies to procreate? No worries if not! I just *clenches fist* you're art is so fucking good and I just love it a lot, it brightens my day

RAAH TYSMMMMMM ur too kind :') <3

putting the yapfest under a cut /o/

honestly i'd say number one is to learn all the shortcuts for actions (two finger tap for undo,, three finger tap for redo, etc) to speed up the whole process. there's lotsa tuts on yt that go through them all!!

i'd also just generally learn what everything is/what it's function is. like if you don't know what alpha lock is you might be torturing yourself with cleaning edges when you dont need to kinda thing, or trying to blend with colours when you can try the smudge tool instead, or not using clipping masks to make your life easier, and so on

i know everyone says this and it sounds tired but i promise you, reference and practice work. you're fueling your brain's internal library and learning way faster!!

id prob play around with brushes and find a handful to favourite and play around with the most when you start off, it has a lot of choices but it can be a bit overwhelming so i'd stick with a few to start with, and switch up if something doesn't feel 'right.' (it has a lot of cool texture brushes but imo it's better to start with the simple brushes and move up) this is a personal thing, but as someone who gets brainbored when sketching sometimes, i throw effect layers over top to make it feel more appealing to me. whether it's a colour wash or something that creates a neat contrast, i think it helps me feel like it looks more neat/slightly more finished?? idk if this is just a me thing but it makes me feel better when i'm playing around lol

i would also recommend duplicating brushes you kinda like but dont feel quite right, and play around with the brush creation settings! it's pretty thorough and fun to see what you can come up with. some of my staple brushes are just basic default airbrushes that i tinkered with a bunch. there's also a tooooon of free brush packs online, would recommend browsing and see if any speak to you!!

i will say procreate is pretty fantastic with the price/usability balance, but the thing that's made me steer away from 'finishing' pieces in it over the last 6 months or so is it's colour blending can be fuuuunky and it doesn't have correction layers (yet?). which is why i will send my procreate sketches to my comp to finish them in csp x) tis absolutely a banger to learn digital in though!! play around and have fun!!

[i-arch-my-backula]

hi!! how are you? i hope you are doing well! 💗

First of all, thx you so much for answering my request! It was so fun and cute to read!

Second, ik I've literally came here like 2 days ago but i was just wondering,,, can i get some "going on a vacation at the beach with their s/o head cannons" for the Sawyers and the Sinclairs?? Cause omg i think it would be chaotic and fun 🤠✨

That's all! Don't forget to take care of yourself and give yourself some love! ٩(ര̀ᴗര́)ᵇʸᵉ

OF COURSE YOU CAN! I don't care if you spam my requests honestly cause I'm running out of ideas. Thank you again for the love. So because I feel like it would be very unlikely that either set of brothers would go to a beach I changed the setting to a lake like beach. One with a shore but it's not salt water. Same thing just private. I mention some other stuff because it's my head cannons for hot men and I get to chose the setting. Lmao sorry for the little rant thing I hope you enjoy. Reader is gn.

Side note I kept thinking about these guys (Mainly the Sinclairs) shirtless and I kept getting so flustered and giggly it’s so stupid dude. 

Slashers going to the "beach" with their s/o

Includes: Poly! Sawyer and Sinclair brothers

Warnings: Strong language, mention of a dead animal, idk if this is upsetting but the mention of throwing frogs 

The Sawyer brothers

Drayton would not go with you because I feel like he's too focused on buisness or whatever he has to do. So it's you Bubba, Chop Top and Nubbins.

Bubba will just wear what he usually wears and I feel like the twins don't have bathing suits so they'll just wear regular shorts in the water.

These boys have very resilant skin. Never been sun burned before and can handle heat well. If you do get your hands on sun screen the twins will refuse to put it on at first but after the see you helping Bubba put it on they'll change their tune. They’ll also watch you put yours on but Bubba is quick to call them out. 

Chop Top can swim pretty well seeing as he was in the Vietnam war. Nubbins just kinda floats like a duck in a way. Like he'll lay on his back and just ride the waves that pass.

Bubbas just gonna watch nervously while everyone else swims. He doesn't know how to swim and will freak out if one of you drowns. Make sure to go back to the shore every 15-20 minutes to let him know you’re ok. 

I don’t think the twins are the kind of people to splash water they’ll throw wet sand at each other. Like pick it up underwater and chuck it at each other. They might throw it at you too but in a loving, playful way. 

Bubba would bring a radio, drinks and snack too just in case. He knows how brutal Texas heat can be. 

If you just lay out in the sand or on the dock and tan the boys (mostly Chop Top) will probably just look at you from time to time and how peaceful you look laying in the sun.

(I say this next part because this happened at a beach I was at once) If one of the twins find a dead fish they will pick it up and either chase one of you with it or just chuck it back into the lake. 

The Sinclair brothers

Like the Sawyers there’s a secluded lake in the woods near the house and you’ll go swimming there. 

Bo will take this as an oportunity to take a day off work and make a day out of it. Lester will insist on bringing Jonesy with the four of you. 

Bo and Lester will definitly swim but Vincent will be more hesitant. He will bring his sketch book and maybe some paint with him but he probably won’t swim. If he does he’ll strip to his boxers (totally not losing my mind over thinking about this) and take off his mask. He’s a strong swimmer and might go out pretty far. 

Lester can hold his breath for a really long time so he just holds his breath dives to the bottom of the lake and grabs stuff. A lot of it being stuff the three of them threw into the lake when they were kids. He’ll pull it up onto the dock and sift through all of the crap he finds. 

Bo just mainly swims and watches out for his brothers and the dumb shit they do. He’ll join you up on shore from time to time and if he feels like it he might pick you up and throw you off the dock. He does this in a loving manner and you can totally get him back for it later. 

If you’re standing in more shallow water one of the boys will have their arms wrapped around you, sorry I don’t make the rules. 

I feel like they also spent a lot of times as kids hunting frogs. Lester was the best at it because well, first of all his name is Lester. So unlike throwing wet sand Lester will put a frog on Bo or just throw one at him. Bo won’t get scared but if you do it enough times you’ll have to break up a fight. 

Vincent might wander off a bit and pick some wild flowers to give to you or to just float along in the water. 

At the end of the day Vincent and Lester will beg Bo to do this again another time. 

[cow-smells]

Eli/Hawk x Reader: Changes

Request: Can you do a Hawk x reader where they are dating since a long time and y/n tries to handle with his change from Eli to Hawk? @sophiahardy912

A/N: Thought I’d write all cutesy lovey dovey fluffy smutty things but then this angst came out? sorry if i failed you idk what happened here

Words: 2054

Warning: A few cuss words

----

Eli wasn't... Eli anymore.

Not just in a metaphorical way – he was Hawk now, inside and out. At first it was a refreshing change – you loved Eli back when he was introverted and lacking in confidence, but now Eli loved himself, and that was surely better.

    Confidence is a good thing. Right?

You remembered the day he texted you 'Dig it?' attached to a photo of him – classic brunette gone, dyed down and gelled up to a Blue Mohawk.

The phrase 'dig it' by itself was previously foreign to the boy, so of course the new bold hairstyle was a big shock for you. Not a bad one, just unexpected. Even more unexpected was the new attitude that came with it.

When Eli walked up to you the next day at school, he adopted a strut that came with his new hair and attire. You almost didn't recognize him without one of the comfy sweaters he previously would wear, the ones you would steal borrow when you'd go over to his on date night.

    It had been a while since you had one of those date nights – Eli wasn't fond of spending too much time in public, always feeling like people were staring at his lip – so you'd often spend the night at his house, watching some horror movie late in to the night, laughing together at cheap, unconvincing productions. Or, even better – clinging to him when a movie really was scary, finding an excuse to casually entwine yourself around him. You loved how he would turn red every time, as though you haven't been together for a long time now.

The last date night you two had was... unusual, yet exciting all the same.

Eli had been Hawk for a while now, and things were taking a turn for the worse. At first it was nice – Eli would link your pinkie fingers together under the table at lunch, Hawk would put his arm around you as you two walked down the hallways between classes. Eli cowered when anyone would so much as look at him; Hawk would shut down anyone who tried to start with him.

You didn't mind it, so to speak, when he got in to a fight with his former bullies. You were worried, of course, but Hawk knew how to handle himself. He beat the shit out of them and after years of Kyler and co taunting him, it felt like fair karma at play. You were actually proud. Hawk came home on cloud nine that day and you were all for being his cheerleader; it ended up being a night of great celebrations.

However, these days he was getting exceedingly violent with anyone who would look at him wrong. It was one thing paying back those who wronged him, but the whole karate thing was getting out of hand; it came to a red line for you once you saw his treatment of Demetri, the only one other than you and Miguel who accepted him far before he accepted himself.

You two had gotten in to a serious argument, Hawk stating that Demetri's treatment is his own doing for being such a nerd, you telling him to grow up.

A couple of days went by with you giving him the silent treatment. Hawk thought he'd just slide in by you the next day at lunch, kiss you and everything would be fine – but you weren't having it. If he didn't mind throwing Demetri under the bus so quickly, how long until that was you instead?

Not talking to Eli proved harder to do than you thought. After so long together it was strange, suddenly having this wall between you two. It had only been a couple of days of you riding the bus to school rather than on his motorcycle with him and you already felt an insistent pit in your stomach that refused to go away, no matter how hard you tried to distract yourself with schoolwork and your other friends.

So unsurprisingly, when Hawk texted you asking you to meet him at an unfamiliar address, you agreed.

It was dark out – the only people you saw around the road you were going down were a couple of shady looking dudes, only obviously under the influence.

You checked your phone again to make sure you were going the right way.

    “You made it!”

Eli's voice startled you, making you look up from your phone. Illuminated by the blue florescent lights from the shop he stood outside of, he seemed... relieved.

    “Yeah,” you answered simply, your eagerness to make up disapparating in to an unconfident hesitation. “what are we doing out here?”

    “Look,” Hawk took one of your hands in his. “I don't wanna lose you. And if that means being nicer to Demetri or whoever of those dorks, whatever. I can live with that. But not without you.”

You hated how he knew exactly what to say, even if it wasn't prefect. It was enough.

    “You didn't answer,” you said, allowing a flirtatious tone to creep up. “What are we doing here?”

Eli smiled, a smile that was more Hawk than Eli, and pulled you in to the shop after him, knowing he was well on his way to winning you over.

    “This is my guy, Rico,” Hawk introduced, fist bumping the older man. Between the familiar name, funny looking chair and sketches on the walls, you knew exactly where you were and what was about to happen.

    “Eli?” you tentatively called as Hawk guestued for you to sit in a chair behind the funky-looking one. Rico adjusted said chair and motioned for Hawk to come over. Eli sat on the chair, his back to you.

    “You sure about this?” Rico asked, preparing ink on a side table. “Sure,” Hawk answered confidently.

Naturally, your curiosity got you up on your feet towards Eli's other side – of course you wanted to know what he was getting inked – but Hawk quickly protested.

    “Stay over there!” he scolded playfully. “It's a surprise.”

The machine started buzzing and even though it wasn't you who was getting anything done, adrenaline started rushing, making you a giddy mess, forgetting all about your previous fight. As needle pierced skin, you spent the time waiting making assumptions over what Hawk was getting on him – at first you guessed the Cobra Kai snake, later guessing Sensei Lawrence in a heart – a suggestion that made Eli laugh particularly hard, in that way that he used to laugh when it was just the two of you (this earned a scolding from Rico, who couldn't get the work done if his canvas was jittering about).

It must have been twenty minutes at best before Hawk rose from the chair and turned to you, gesturing to the new piece over his heart – a heart with your name in it.

Was it possible to have your heart sink and jump simultaneously? On the one hand, you were realistic, and there would probably come a day where he'd regret this – a thought that made you sick. On the other hand, it was the most romantic thing you've ever experienced, and it was unlikely for anyone else to ever top that.

What was done was done, so you shoved aside any negativity and allowed yourself to revel in the love you felt, showering Hawk with kisses that quickly turned in to a deep, longing kiss – until Rico politely suggested you take the show elsewhere.

    Apparently “being nicer to Demetri” meant ignoring him altogether, besides some threatening looks. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than the alternative, so you let go of it despite it seeming like Hawk was constantly on the edge.

You were ready for another date night – the first since the tattoo parlor – ready to get away from school and its drama, just to spend some quality time with your boyfriend.

Now that he wasn't shy anymore, he suggested going to see a film in an actual movie theatre, which was exactly what you were doing.

The two of you split up – you needed to go to the bathroom so Hawk stood in line for tickets. By the time you had come out you had lost sight of your boyfriend – the crowd around the ticket stalls had suddenly increased.

    “You looking for someone?” a male voice asked. Turning around, a couple of guys you didn't know were approaching you. “Think you'd have more fun with us.”

Just as they reached you, a hand grabbed your arm. You were relieved to turn and see Eli – but he wasn't even looking at you. His eyes were locked with one of the guys – you could feel the tension in the air.

     “Eli, no,” you whispered firmly. His grip on you tightened, moving you aside – but you weren't going to stand for it. You stepped in front of him, grabbing hold of him as he did to you. “You start something, I walk.” your voice was low, not wanting those guys to hear, but serious enough to make Hawk understand you weren't playing around.

With a grunt, he looked down at you, took your hand and walked away.

You optimistically thought the worst was blown over.

You and Hawk were waiting outside the theatre to be let in, chatting away when Hawk stopped you mid sentence with a kiss.

Another pleasant surprise about Eli's newfound confidence was how willing he was to show affection to you publicly, while before you two could pass off as acquaintances at best.

It was rather random but you accepted the kiss – even when he deepened it, getting closer to you, pulling you closer to him.

His hands started sliding lower.

It wasn't anything you haven't done in the privacy of your bedrooms, but to get that intimate in public, in broad daylight – it was too much for your liking.

    “Eli -” you called, pushing away from him. He didn't allow it.

Pulling your hips to his with one hand on your bum, his other went up to hold your chin, tilting it back to grant him access. He managed to hold you for a moment before you mustered up the power to push him a few steps away from you.

    Hawk was visually surprised – whether because of you or himself, you were unsure.

    “What the fuck was that?” you asked, not bothering to keep your voice down this time.

Despite trying so hard to become this new person, new Eli still had old Eli's tells – and a quick glance he threw aside told you everything you needed to know.

Following his line of sight, the two guys from earlier stood there, watching the scene unfold.

    “So that's what this is about?” you huffed. “some territory marking thing?”

Hawk struggled to gather his words, his bottom lip bobbing wordlessly a couple of times before he spoke. “Look, you didn't want me to take care of it out there, so-”

     “So you do whatever you want with me? Like I'm nothing?”

    “Y/n, you know it's not like that-”

    “So what is it like?”

When Hawk didn't immediately respond, you turned on your heel to the exit. Hawk followed you outside.

    “Come on, Y/n, you know I'd never hurt you!”

    “You just did!” you yelled back. “you... I don't know you anymore, and I say that in the worst way.”

    “What,” Hawk huffed, “you want me to go back to being a pansy? 'Cause that's not going to happen.”

    “You know what's the worst out of all this?” you asked, coming to face Hawk. “at first I thought it was cool, you being all tough. Seeing Kyler become afraid of you. I thought it was great. But now... Now I'm afraid of you.”

Hawk frowned, the realization dawning upon him. “C'mon...” he lifted his shirt to show the heart tattoo dedicated to you. “Doesn't this mean anything to you?”

    “Make it mean something.” you replied with a heavy heart, taking a step back and left, leaving Hawk standing alone in the parking lot.

[eroticcannibal]

Hey Risu I think ud have some sound advice about this... I want to learn to draw n be an artist (digitally) but my brain screams when I try cos I'm new n not good at all and idk how to counteract the brain so I can draw shitty things until I get good.... It's hard to have fun when my brain is saying I'm shit and should quit :( Any advice? (I love ur art on ur art blog BTW... Ur art is good but like, not what I'm used to seeing and it's kinda nice to see how a hobby artist art looks cos I'm so used to more professional artists who take comms on twitter)

I was thinking of doing some of my shitty art to song lyrics (they're some of my fav, I draw my ocs in some sort of pose and then slap the lyrics on top in fancy font text or write it on my drawing tablet by hand) - and just don't care how bad it looks but I'm unsure if I can get my brain to not scream at me for not being enough long enough to do it :(

Any advice would be nice <3 p.s. My art is so bad it's like a kid trying to draw (derogatory but only at me) n I don't really have anyone in my life for support cos if it's not good they don't care :/// (well I have one friend, he's also a hobbyist as well, rarely draws cos he has the same issue of not being good and perfect type deal)

Oh hey its how I feel about my art 24/7 (and how most artists do!) So I will run u through all the things I find helpful

Listen. Brains are little bitches, ok? They LIE. They are MEAN. You need to practice telling ur brain to shut up. Like "hey, thats not fucking nice, I'm not listening to u until u have something helpful to say!" And its hard, cus its you, but with practice it gets easier to ignore ur brain being on one. Treat it like a toddler who is kicking off and calling u mean names cus u won't give it chocolate. "Thats nice dear im busy with my art". Like u gotta remember, for anyone trying to get started with art, it looks like a kid trying to draw because that's when most people stopped drawing. Same with any other skill u stop in childhood. My kid struggled so much with handwriting due to being ND that it switched to typing and guess what? Still has the handwriting u would expect from a small child. Because it stopped writing as a small child. I have the coordination with running and throwing of a young kid cus thats when I stopped doing sports. People who stop reading books young will find it harder to read books for an older audience. U do those kiddy drawings, do lots of them, you WILL get better.

Another thing. Heres a secret. For every artist, the majority of what they produce is shit. No really, all of them. Not just the crap you have to produce to git gud, but like, every amazing piece of art you have seen has like at least 5 fucked up sketches that got scrapped. Whole bits of painting that got covered up. All art is made up of mistakes and fuck ups. And even if u are sat there going wow this is perfect! The artist is DYING because they can see a hundred little mistakes that u cant. Art is all about perspective and honestly the perspective of the artist is the worst one. We are too familiar with the details to see our art for what it really is.

The thing that helped me most tho was when I went to art museums in Paris. I saw so much "good" art and im like. OK. This is technically good I guess? But it was kinda meh. The museum of modern art was the most disappointing cus, and listen I stan modern art ok there was some good shit in there, but there was a fucking rack of skis. Someone gone bought some skis and put them away and thats art. Hello? Oh someone painted some squares and came up with some deep meaning and im meant to be impressed. And then I go outside for a fag and I open tumblr and see some crappy 2 minute MSpaint vent art and u know what? It made me fucking feel. It make me feel like NOTHING in that museum had. Who is fucking deciding what "good" art is? I dont remember being consulted! I dont think I fucking agree that "good" art is good! I think shit art is good! Some fucking ship art scribbles has more meaning for me than the fucking mona Lisa, yknow?

And then I went to an exhibit of Picasso's sketches and doodles. Napkins with little scribbles on and shit. And they were so normal. Nothing impressive. And it was wonderful. I've done better sketches! I promise u u have done better than some of that stuff. Honestly so many artists aren't even "better", they're just successful. And idk but I think success is a poor way to measure arts worth.

There is a genuine magic to a hobby artist just. Doodling what makes them happy. Not for money, not for fame, not for skill, just because they want to. Art for arts sake, yknow?

Also I understand it can be very hard to share ur work but I would encourage u to do so with ppl u trust to give u fair feedback. Feel free to send me what u make I will be more than happy to tell u how great it is

[harriertail]

ooh, do you have any tips on doing fan wc covers? for example what size do you make them in, what font do you use, etc? your covers are very inspiring, it makes me want to try doing something like that too! im just... not sure where to begin

I’ve got a more comprehensive tutorial in the works but my process of doing them is basically have the bg be more background/location focused, ie a lakeshore meeting or walk through the forest, and the cat head be one of the main characters. Technically they are just an A4 size (depends on ur programme i think) and the text font is Source Serif Pro Semibold. The brushes are clip studios Gouache, Dry Gouache and Thin Gouache Brush. Gouache for blocking, dry for rocks and fur blending, thin for details. Regarding the actual composition of the covers... this might get long.

I’m a huge unironic fan of the skew-iffness of McLoughlin’s cats- the wrong eye colour, wrong description, round faces, weird eye and muzzle shapes, etc in the covers and Ultimate Guide. It’s charmin as fuck. For his background’s he’s honestly a master of colour. His red rocks have yellows, creams, gray-greens and blues. His green trees are yellow, blue, orange and indigo. His snow is pale blue, purple, green, or orange and red and white. Go wild with the colours on the first pass. Check out his other work as well for a better sense of this, he’s got a great American sense of the huge outdoors, (despite being born in the UK- he’s welsh but served in Vietnam. Anyway) it’s kinda reminiscent of Romanticism in a way and the series took a huge L in not hiring an artist to replicate this sense of grandeur and reverence for the outdoors for the new covers and chose to focus on the actual cats in a very safe way. I actually love McLoughlin’s work for I’m bias. His ammunition adverts are great lol im so gettin a print. Back to the actual covers. Pick a scene of the book, sketch in, keep the focus mainly in the bottom 1/3. The top can slack on detail due to the title and cat head. I like to give my covers a sense of cohesion- you can look at it without a title and know it is from X series (ie my New Dawn covers follow a rainbow colour, a WIP set of covers i have all have a shot of a lake in them, my TGL covers all focus on the sky) Where the fuck am i going with this? Tips. Pick a good scene that sums up the story- ie Rising Storm has Fireheart by the Thunderpath with Tigerclaw watching him. Keep colours strong, the natural colours are always amplified, shadows blue/purple, rarely use black. The rough pass is usually one layer for me and then i paint above that. I try use as little layers as possible to keep a “traditional one canvas one layer” feel. Cats/figures in the background have a lot of different colours on them- yellow, blue, red, etc. Fur detail is suggested with texture. Same with the background. No smooth gradients, use a brush to make gradients. Light and shadow are amplified. Highlights are a bit unnatural but make sense. Honestly just draw it. There’s no real ‘tutorial’ to it. Just throw urself into it and get the cover down! If you have any more specific questions please ask me! Or just come talk about why the mcloughlin covers are better. Idk. Enjoy a bear watching a basketball hoop in a forest. 

[coffeecaffineandeverythinginbtwn]

Here is my @maribat-secret-santa-2020 gift for @liquid-luck-00

I’m really sorry It’s not finished (i had trouble finishing it due to school and some rough mental health problems) but I will be posting the outline so you can know the rest of what I had planned!

again i’m so so so sorry it’s not done. happy new year! please enjoy!

:readmore:

Marinette and the Runaway Assassin

~

Marinette Grason and the Runaway Assassin

The first thing they could remember was always flying.

Their parents always told them that the first thing a Grayson ever did was fly.

Whether it be him tossing his sister in the air as she did flips, or flying on the low swing trapeze with his mother and father. they were born soaring.

Their family was the best of the best. Humans with the agility and grace of birds. Their family never stayed on the ground for long. Nothing could keep a Grayson on the ground.

Until they fell.

Their wonderful parents never flew again.

~

Dick was trying his best to keep it together, for his sister, but the pain was almost too much. He was just 16. What was he supposed to do now? He wasn’t of age to care for Marinette and he certainly didn't have much money at all.

It was two days after the fall that killed their parents. Dick had cried himself to sleep, so full of grief, stress and uncertainty the night before. He wanted, no, needed to keep his sister safe, but what were they supposed to do? Live on the street? Marinette deserved better than that. Not to mention her schooling. There was just so many things he needed to think about he had no idea if they’d ever even survive -

A knock sounded at the door, startling Dick from his thoughts.

“Excuse me,” a deep voice came from behind the door, “I would like to speak to a mister Dick Grayson.” With those words the pit inside his stomach grew. It was probably some social worker coming to separate him from the only family he had left.

Dick opened the door and saw a large man with dark hair and blue eyes in a suit, “If you’re here to take me and my sister to some orphanage, leave now. It’s not going to happen. Get lost.” Dick, the normally polite boy, ended his statement by quickly closing the door.

“Wait!” The man jumped in, using his foot to jam the door. “I’m not a social worker. Mister Grayson I presume?” Dick just narrowed his eyes and nodded his head, “My name is Bruce Wayne. I was hoping to come to an arrangement that would greatly help you and your sister.

Dick had the urge to scoff, but he let the man, Bruce, continue.

“You see, I lost my parents at a young age as well. I want to make you and Miss Marinette my wards. You two would both get to live in my manor with your own room and have all the things you two would need to live a happy life. And you would not be separated. This can all happen effective immediately, as soon as you say the word. So, What do you say?”

This was insane. It was everything he and Mari could need. They could lead a normal, safe, and good life. There were so many goods that could come of this and yet…

Graysons are never tied to the ground my little robin. We must never be afraid to spread our own wings and soar. We are free spirits and we fly our own way.

With only that thought in his head, his ressove hardened.

“While I appreciate the offer Mister Wayne, I’m afraid I have to decline.” He began, “My parents used to say that we should never let ourselves be tied down. They were free-spirited and loved to travel. I want my sister and I to continue their legacy.”

Bruce looked a little shocked at this, and also a bit put out., but he quickly covered it with a determined look of his own.

“I see. If I cannot assist with housing, please let me help in any other way possible. Money is no issue, I can promise you that.” Bruce looked so ready to help them. And hell, if they couldn't use the help.

Dick was at a loss for words, “I- Mister Wayne- I can’t thank you enough!” Marinette would get to have the life their parents would have wanted for her. He didn’t have to worry about money any more. They could be free and go where the wind would take them. This flood of relief he felt did ease his grief a little for only a moment. It was one weight lifted off his shoulders.

“It’s the least I could do Mister Grayson.” He nodded, looking a bit relieved himself.

“Please, call me Dick Mister Wayne.” At that Bruce’s mouth quirked upwards the tiniest bit.

“Only if you call me Bruce.”

~

Over the next few years, Dick and Marinette went everywhere imaginable, traveling with the circus.

Eventually they decided to travel at their own pace. Marinette instided they spend more time in their favorite countries. They spent a few months in each, both gathering a love for each culture and language. Marinette especially took a bit of every country with her, absorbing each like a sponge.

Without the circus to keep them active in their travels and with barely any means to keep themselves protected, Dick and Marinette accumulated a mesh of different fighting styles. Neither ever truly mastered one, but both fought in a way very specific to them.

~

Currently somewhere in Italy, the two were waiting for one of their mentors to arrive for a meeting.

“Duckie!!” Marinette, now nine, ran to her brother with that particular spark in her eye, “Duckie! Guess what!”

Dick, smiled a little at the familiar nickname, “What’s up Nettie?”

Marinette jumped up and down excitedly. “Look what I can do!”

The small girl smiled and ran a little ways into the field nearby and did three handsprings to the shock, and pride of her brother.

“Good job Marinette,“ A voice that was not Dick‘s called from behind them, “I’m glad to see that you are improving well.”

An overall average looking man in his late 30’s wearing a firm, yet warm expression walked towards them.

Their mentor, Malachi Dobraski.

“Uncle Chi!” The Marinettw siblings voiced, running to him.

Malachi’s mouth turned upwards at the sibling’s outburst. “Yes, yes I have finally arrived. You two are, of course, ever so humbled to be in my presence.” There was a stretch of silence before the three burst out in laughter.

“Wonderful to see you two as always.” He said as he bent down to give Marinette a hug.

“So what did you need Malachi? You never call meetings so early in the month.” Dick said as he turned to face him.

Malachi hummed in an impressed manner, “Very astute Richard. I asked you here today because I wanted you to meet a friend of mine I had mentioned earlier. Gina, If you remember.”

At the mention of the woman Marinette perked up, The one who travels all around the world like us? We really get to meet her?” She topped off her questions with a wiggle of excitement.

“We’ll have to see about that Nettie.” Dick spoke fondly as he smiled at his sister’s antics. He then turned his attention to Malachi, “Will she be in town soon? You’re rarely one to throw out praise for no reason and you’ve spoken highly of her in the past.”

“She is a lady well deserving of my praise, Richard. To answer your question, yes. Ms. Gina will be in town Thursday evening.” their mentor said with another small grin.

Dick hummed while tapping his chin, “That’s about two days from now. Unfortunately me and Mari probably won’t be able to meet with her right away. We’re tied up until Saturday I believe. Will she be in town for long?”

“Gina is a free spirit, so it’s hard to say. However she has been interested in you two since I mentioned I was taking students again. I expect she’ll stay long enough to meet you.”

“That’s great!” Dick said, as cheerful as ever, “That settles it then.”

“Yay! We get to meet aunt Gina!” Marinette exclaimed, jumping up and down.

Instead of correcting his sister, Dick just shook his head with a laugh. Why does everyone we hear of instantly become family?

~

Marinette sat at a tall table in a quiet cafe. Her tiny legs swung eagerly underneath her as she hummed to herself. Her brother was up at the counter ordering their drinks. She was sketching, or trying to. It was really hard to focus when she was so full of jitters.

Today was the day they were supposed to meet Ms. Gina and while Marinette was excited, she was just as, if not more, nervous. She has always been this way with new people.

————————

That is the end of what i have written BUT NOW the outline:

Section One

Dick is older in this 16/17

Mari is 5 or 6

They grow up with their parents, until they die, again.

Dick is old enough to be emancipated/take custody of Mari

(Bruce didn’t adopt them but he helped Dick get emancipated and gave them loads of money)

Their parents were free spirits and loved to travel

Dick decides they should keep that alive.

The two stay with the circus traveling for around a year

And they continue to travel for 1 or 2 years

They meet Gina

Dick kinda wants to settle down Gina recommends Paris

They go to Paris

They get an apartment (thank you plot convenient Bruce money)

(she’s around 10 or 11 now. He’s 19 or 20 now)

Dick wants Mari to make friends or get a feel for regular school so she goes to FD

Section Two

Separately, Damian and the league are in turmoil (the coup happens)

Thalia might die Idk

Damian, not knowing what else to do, flees to Paris?

Tom and Sabine have always wanted children but were never successful

They find this aggressive child on the streets of course they take him in

Damian would grumble about their ‘lower status’ but would of course be secretly grateful and surprised at the unconditional love and care he receives from T and S

Section THree

Back to Mari

Being raised by Dick, she learned to be true to herself and also headstrong

She takes no crap from Chloé

(She eventually learns of her situation with her mother and they become less aggressive towards each other)

(she also learns a lot of different skills and fashion things)

Section Four

Damian arrives at FD

(He’s like 10 or 11 Mari is like 11)

Damian and Mari are both ahead of the curriculum (Both home schooled) same class

She is her kind self, doesn't know anyone else well and Dami is another new kid.

They stick together out of a sort of necessity

He’s cold at first but (go figure) he softens for her eventually

They slowly grow closer as friends

Dick becomes another behaviour mentor and Brother esq figure to Dami

Dick also sees Daminette’s in love right away

He teases Mari about it

Bada Boom they're 13 now

Section Five

Miraculos canon GO

Mari gets ladybug Dami gets cat

Mari doesn't get a crush on Adrien (the gum incident doesn’t happen because Chlo and Mari are on better terms)

Mari and Dami both immediately recognize each other in costume

Mari’s outfit is black with red detailing sans her cape/glider that’s full red with the five black spots. Has deep red boots that go up to the knee. Her ribbons are longer and can detach to use as a makeshift ribbon dance things (she also goes by Ladybird instead of Ladybug)

Damian’s outfit is his assassin outfit but black and tan undertones with cat ears (his pupils don’t change to slits) Damian goes by Leopard

Dick notices a change immediately He confronts Mari, She caves and tells him too

(She consequently reveals Damian’s Identity as well. No one could have that kind of chemistry with Mari that quickly)

He signs her up for many martial arts classes (She already had training in a few, picking up a lot from her travels)

Damian also helps train Mari in some ~Assassin Skills~

Basically, they’re bad asses.

The only thing stopping them from defeating Hawkey boy quickly is the fact that they can’t find where he is

Section Six

Moving on, Salt

Lila happens

Lila still sets her sights on Adrian (he’s got money at this point Damian is just a baker's boy to Lila.

Lila isolates the two from the rest of the class, even more so than they already were

Damian thinks the class are even bigger idiots

Lila is still an awful person and wants to make both Dami and Mari’s live miserable

Lila tries to go to Dick about Mari “bullying” her

He laughs in her face (he choses laughter instead of seething anger. thanks Hawky)

Lila then tries to get through to Tom and Sabine about Damian

This time it works, they have less reason to trust Damian (and he was also a major prick when they first took him in

(this happens over a year or so. Lila slowly gaining the trust of the class and Tom and Sabine)

The environment gets very toxic Dami and Mari decide to leave the school and go to online schooling (like at college level)

Section Seven

Time skip. They are 16 now

The two have had feelings for a while, they now realize them

Dami is less emotionally stunted, having both Dick and Mari around (Tom and Sabine too but they kinda suck now) so he doesn’t panic much

Mari is full panic mode

Dick is just in the corner all smug-like. (“you didn’t know you loved him? I’ve known this for years”)

Que pining

Lots of pining

There’s some angst, Tom and Sabine are negligent towards Damian (not mean but still neglectful)

He ends up staying with Dick and Mari more often than not

Eventually they both confess after a particularly rough akuma battle (the one where mari becomes the guardian?)

Both of them almost watched the other die. That was too heartbreaking for either of them to not confess

So they are together now.

It was an easy transition, they were already married pretty much

They’ve already figured out who Hawky boy is. They just need evidence

They get evidence. They also discover Lila was working with him

They take care of the Hawkmoth situation

Section Eight

Everything is good now right? Wrong

Batman Finally goes to Paris once Hawky is defeated,

(he kept in touch with Dick all these years and knew what was going on, {He practically became their “uncle Bruce”} He only stayed away cuz Hawkmoth)

When Damian sees Bruce visiting Mari’s House he freezes,

Mari: “what's wrong Dami?”

Dami: *whispers in her ear*

M: “He’s your WHAT???”

D; *whispers more*

M: “I- You- Um- WHAT”

D: *walks up to Bruce* “Hello, I know this is an odd way to meet but I am sure you know of Thalia Al’ Ghoul.” *B nods wairily* “Yes, well, I am your son. And unfortunately hers as well.”

“Yes, I’d be perfectly happy to do a blood test.”

Dick and Mari are shook

“Damian, You must come to live with me in Gotham”

Dun

Dun

Dunnnnnn!!!!!

End Part One

Again I am sincerely sorry I was not able to complete this story in time. Like I said before, I will (maybe/probably) be finishing this and planning a part two! I hope you enjoyed! (even though it’s the first fanfic i’ve written)

[random-mha-thoughts]

Sketch (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Anon requested: “Hi, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way you write Bakugou. I always blush when reading one of your stories. Can you write one with Bakugou where they go to his room and they see like a journal of his or artwork of his that has poems or drawings of her? And he walks in and sees her reading/looking at what his work, and he gets embarrassed, but the reader absolutely loves it, and showers him with love? Pretty please with a cherry on top, and thank you!!”

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1,643

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

a/n: Anon, you’re so lovely, why would I say no to you?  Thank you for requesting this!  I had a lot of fun writing it!  I have another Baku headcanon request coming tomorrow so look forward to that.  I hope you all enjoy reading this, and thank you again for 900 followers~ I really need to think about a 1k special event hhh idk what I’m gonna do, does anyone have suggestions?

"You didn't make it too spicy, did you?" I tease, eyeing the plates Bakugou sets the table with.

My boyfriend smirks at me.  "No, I know how much of a baby you are."  He sets down a glass jar of orange-red paste at his place setting.  "I'll just add my own spice on the side."

"Hey, I can take a little spice, I'm not totally hopeless!" I jut my lip out in a slight pout.

Another few small bowls of side dishes are placed in the middle of the table, one of them being kimchi.  "If we're gonna be together for a while, you better get used to it."  

The thought of dating Bakugou for a long time down the line warms me up, and I find myself smiling as he fetches the large serving bowl of our main course and sets it down in the middle of the table.

"And dinner is served!"  A proud grin stretches across his face when he plops down in his seat.  "Let's eat!"

Like the gentleman he is, the blond scoops out the spicy udon soup onto my bowl first before filling his own.  The broth isn't too thick, but what slightly scares me is the orange color.  I take a spoonful before Bakugou has the chance to poke fun at me being a coward.  While the spice dances on my tongue, it mingles with the rich, slightly sweet flavor to provide a happy balance that makes the heat bearable.

"Mm, Bakugou this is amazing-"

I cut myself off when I spot the boy across from me dumping a heaping spoonful of his red paste into the broth, watching in horror as the orange color of the broth turns into an angry scarlet as he mixes the paste in. He glances up at my gawking and chuckles, "Yeah, this is how spicy I like my food, babe."

My eye twitches.  "You're a monster."

He just winks in response.  "I'm your monster."

I flop back into my seat with a groan.  "I can't tell if I'm full or I'm overwhelmed."

Bakugou throws his head back and laughs at my running nose and flushed face.  "You can't handle spiciness babe, I'm sorry.  Just look at you!"  He hands me another napkin.

"Hey, at least I'm not crying."  I gladly take it from him and swipe under my nose.  But my tongue might be burning for a while.  I tried to pace myself on the water so it doesn't look like I'm struggling too much, but I ended up drinking at least 3 cups the entire meal, and this jerk across from me is relishing my pain.

"If you had another bowl, I'm sure you would have," he unsuccessfully chokes back his chuckles.

I'm aware of the swelling in my lips and the thin sheen of sweat on the back of my neck and my hairline.  "It's not funny," I pant out a whine.  But he might not be wrong.  I gulp down the rest of my fourth cup of water and rise from my seat to help clean up.

I clear the dishes from the table and bring them to the sink, where my devilish boyfriend started soaking the dishes and the bowl.  I wrap my arms around him from behind and lean my head on his shoulder.  "Babe, do you mind if I spend the night?  I didn't bring clothes though."

He shuts off the sink and turns around to hug me at the waist properly.  "You can take one of my shirts and my shorts if you wanna spend the night."  Calloused fingers stroke my cheek before cupping my chin and bringing his lips down to mine.  Surprisingly, the few kisses he places there are quick, desperate, before he nips my bottom lip, earning a yelps out of me.  He smirks at the sound.  "Your lips are so swollen, it's like they're calling me to kiss them."

An intense blush coats my cheeks and I push away from him.  "I-I'm going to look for your clothes," I stutter and scurry off to his bedroom.

"Second drawer from the bottom," he cackles after me.

I duck into his room, patting my cheeks to calm myself.  I find his drawer and pick out an oversized black tee and red basketball shorts.  When the shirt's on, it already goes down to my thigh.  I hold the shorts in my hand, debating if I should even wear them, but I err on the side of modesty.  Bakugou's already riled up seeing me eat spicy food, I don't want to push it.

"Silly, hormonal boy," I shake my head, slipping the shorts up my legs and tying off one side of the shirt to shorten it.

Somehow, my eyes meet directly with it, the sharp corner peeking out from a slightly lifted corner of his mattress.  Being the curious - and slightly nosy - person I am, I pull the object out to find that it's a thin, paper notebook.  The cover is void of any labels; I would think it was empty if there wasn't a pen hooked into it, the clip bookmarking a page in the middle.  Without another thought, I open up to the page only to stare wide-eyed at it.

Inked onto the unlined page is a half body sketch of me smiling.  The crinkles of my eyes, the out of place hairs, the smile lines, the contours of my face and neck; every detail I didn't know someone would recognize just by looking at me is inked before me in loving care.  I flip to the previous page to see a full body drawing of me gazing absently out a nearby window, the same attention to detail paid.  More flipping showed more candid moments of me drawn onto the page.  Weightlessness blooms in my chest as I scan every inch of the notebook.

It dawned on me so suddenly that tears fill my eyes in a whiplash of emotion.  Bakugou not only watches me from a distance when he thinks I'm not looking to paint this memory into his mind, but he takes the time to lovingly sketch it out into this notebook every night because he wants to look back on it.

"Babe, you-"

I snap my head towards the doorway, the ash blond frozen there as he glances at the object in my hand.  His eyes widen into saucers.  "Where did you find that?"  His voice goes half an octave higher.

"Katsuki."  That's all I can manage in my shaky voice.  A million overwhelming thoughts and emotions tumble inside me that I don't know how to start.

"You weren't supposed to see that!"  His cheeks turn scarlet as he stumbles towards me, hand outstretched to snatch the book out of my hand.

I shut it and hug it to my chest, protecting it as I examine the boy in front of me.  It hasn't been terribly long since Bakugou and I started dating, we just crossed 6 months a few weeks ago.  There are still times when I'm unsure of his feelings towards me, an insecure side of me that I can't help.  But now that I've seen this silent gesture of his affection, I see our relationship in a new light.

Bakugou groans out.  "Shit, I never wanted you to see it-!"

I throw my arms around him to shut him up.  "You idiot, I love it.  It's not creepy or weird or anything like that.  I didn't even know you saw me like this, you big lovable dork."

"Wait wait," he pulls me away by my shoulders, "You're okay with it?"

"Katsuki, you're too sweet," I laugh wholeheartedly and start peppering kisses all over his face.  "This is the most flattering thing someone's done for me, why would I hate it?"

His face turns a deeper shade of red.  "I dunno...  I don't do this for everyone, just you, I didn't know how you would react."

"Well now you know."  I let go of him to stare at another page, my chest comfortably full.  "Look how much love you put into this, I can't believe you hid this from me."

Bakugou scratches the back of his head.  "You...wanna know which one's my favorite?"

My eyes widen as he takes the book out of my hands and flips through, landing on one page near the beginning and shows it to me.  "It's rough, but it's one of my favorite memories of you."

I didn't think my heart could swell more than it already has, but it did with this one.  My head rests facing up on Bakugou's lap, my eyes closed and a lazy smile gracing my features.  One of his large hands rests on my cheek like it's softly caressing the skin.

"Say something at least," my boyfriend grumbles after a few moments of my awed silence.

I decide not to, opting to plant a kiss on his lips instead.  "I don't know how you manage to make me look more attractive than I actually am, thank you."

"Dumbass, of course you're actually this attractive."

I lean back against his chest, admiring his line work.  It's not the most artistic, but it still manages to bring out the beauty and love in the image.  "Maybe you should draw one of us together."

His eyebrows furrow together.  "No way, I did this for you, not me."

"But it would make me really happy if you did one of us together.  It makes your love look one sided when you know that's not true."

He wraps his arm around me and kisses the top of my head.  "Fine, I'll do it for you, babe."  His calloused hand reaches up to brush my face.  "But just so you know, I'm totally drawing you all flushed over spicy food because I really liked seeing you that way."

"Pervert!"

[kuiinncedes]

head back laughing like a little kid

idk why i’m formatting this like my other longer fic but . i thought of the lyric as a title and i really liked it lol (from taylor swift’s “begin again”)

here is some sleep-deprived shadowhunter!quinntina from the brain of a sleep-deprived jeanne :) 

it’s not really that relevant but this is kind of in the same verse as my other shadowhunter fics and lmk if anyone wants/needs explanation of shadowhunty stuff :P none of it is very relevant to the plot or anything in this one tho

and pls i wrote this in like an hour and barely proofread it but i’m just tired and have been wanting to write some quinntina again for so longgggggg so i finally did and i’m just gonna post it lol

fully under the cut because idk where to put the cut but yeah here’s an attempt at some fluff my dudes <3

***

Tina falls asleep on Quinn halfway through Monthly Columbus Institute Movie Night… or whatever they’re calling it. Her head lands softly on Quinn’s shoulder and Quinn shifts slightly to a more comfortable position, wrapping her arm around Tina’s shoulders. She ignores the glances of her friends, who are looking at her as if they aren’t the same brand of sappy and adorable with their significant others, and instead leans her cheek on the top of Tina’s head.

She guesses she falls asleep too. The next thing she knows, she wakes up to Kurt poking her like he’s five years old again. 

“Stop,” she grumbles, pushing his hand away but trying not to jostle Tina too much.

“Movie’s done. Go to bed.”

“You’re my parabatai, not my mom.” She makes another annoyed noise under her breath and Kurt chuckles, getting the point and making his way to the doorway where Blaine waits for him, and they leave the library together. 

Quinn starts to wake up a little more, but Tina’s still fast asleep, mouth slightly open and body completely relaxed but curled into Quinn’s. She smiles, brushing some strands of Tina’s black hair away from her face and pressing her lips to her forehead. 

“Hey,” she whispers, shrugging her shoulder a little but not wanting to jostle Tina too much. It does the trick - Tina’s always been a light sleeper - and Tina stirs, blinking her eyes open slowly. “Hey sleepyhead,” Quinn says, grinning, and kisses the tip of Tina’s nose.

Tina scrunches her nose and snuggles further into Quinn’s side. “Hey,” she answers, voice low. Her eyes slide shut again and her lips curl upward, a little playfully.

Quinn’s smile grows. “Planning to go to bed tonight? Why are you so wiped out?”

Tina hums. “Stayed up last night, used some Energy runes, had patrol, whatever.” She buries her face in Quinn’s neck. “I’m tired.”

“I can see that.”

Tina sticks out her tongue. Against Quinn’s neck. Who jumps slightly and squeaks in surprise. “You are two years old!” she laughs. “Tina!” 

Tina giggles and Quinn can feel it against the skin between her neck and shoulder. 

“Come on,” Quinn groans with a laugh, trying to stand up but there’s a whole Shadowhunter sprawled across her. “By the Angel, T, don’t you want to sleep in your bed?” 

“No, this is good.” Her voice is muffled against Quinn’s stomach now, somehow having gotten her to lie down across the couch and piled herself on top of her.

“You’re so annoying.”

“Only for you, baby.”

Quinn smiles so wide at the ceiling, because Raziel, she loves this idiot on her lap.

And if she has to spend the night on the cramped library couches for aforementioned idiot, she will.

(Not tonight, though.)

Quinn pulls Tina towards her, a random leftover Strength rune burning on her arm, and maneuvers her so that she’s carrying her with one arm under Tina’s knees and the other under her arms. 

“This isn’t easy, you know,” Quinn huffs as she stands, and Tina’s body is shaking with laughter as she walks out of the library. Quinn looks down at her and grins again, laughing and saying, “You are such a child when you’re tired.”

“Blame the Energy runes. They leave you burned out.”

“Oh, I’ll blame someone.”

“Yeah, you know what? Blame your fucking parabatai, he’s the one who kept me up last night with his new sketches even though he knew I had a day of patrols scheduled -- ” Tina cuts off with a short squeal as Quinn all but tosses her onto the bed, throwing herself on after, and they collapse into a fit of giggling.

Maybe tomorrow will also be an Energy-rune-and-crash kind of day.

[elaineiswithyou-blog]

𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌...mha

𝐀𝐆𝐄... not comfortable with specifying but im a minor

𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘... unlabled

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐈.𝐃.... demigirl (pronouns; she they)

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄... male, (but idk if you do poly matchups but if you do possiby a male and a female?)

𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈... enfp-t

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄... 5'11, wavy midlength black hair, dark brown eyes, tan skin, skinny asf figure, dry ass lips.

𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐎𝐍... usually oversized t-shirts (most are plain colored and others have short phrases like "hakuna matata" "self love club" "to be my own muse" "born to be wild" and stuff like that) and shorts with or without backward caps. i like tying jackets around my waist and wearing white sneakers but i hate make-up (except for chapstick) dresses, skirts and all pink outfits. if i ever wear a dress it's kind of short and i wear it with sneakers. my hair is basically always down or in a loose ponytail. my wardrobe is basically all tanktops, over-sized t-shirts, crop tops, caps, jackets, shorts and the occasional pair of denim jeans.

𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒... music, the ocean, buzzfeed, walks/dancing in the rain, listening to music, sketching, tiktok, skate-boarding, watching tv, hanging out with friends, the arcade, caramel popcorn, green apples, pranks, lame-pick-up-lines, cinammon smell, reading, black coffee, pillow fights, white roses, the black and white aesthetic, cinemas, travelling, stargazing, martial arts and some other stuff i can't remember.

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐒... homophobia, biphobia, racism, transpohobia, fake ppl, bullies, vitamin c pills, skirts and dresses, being alone in the dark, high heels and make-up, being judged, confined spaces, my friends and myself not being able to be ourselves because of homophobia etc., being told what to do.

𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒... singing, writing songs, sketching, swimming and playing basketball, watching movies and playing games online, taking buzzfeed quizzes.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘... social, tomboyish, athletic, easily jealous, over-protective, intimidating at first sight, chaotic, weird, coffee-obsessed, turbulent, moodswings, sleep deprived, crackhead vibes, confident when it comes to confessing to people, simp for like anyone that has two legs, im kind of a flirt and i prank people, im dirty-minded and i annoy my friends alot on purpose. my love languages are physical touch and quality time. i can be pretty stupid at times and i can be really reckless (not clumsy, reckless). im supportive, i overthink, im kind of afraid of commitment. im the type of person who gets attatched to ppl easily and then spend less time with them to get rid of the attatchment. i get pissed off easily and i have trust issues. i love pop and indie music and i mostly listen to taylor swift, ava max and maggie lindemann. when im going through something or im just in a bad mood/having a bad day, my extroverted self becomes shy and kind of gloomy. i use the same words over and over again sometimes. i love all types of affection and im the type of person who sends memes and stuff to my friends at 3am. weird thing i do : i think of blue butterflies when i get angry to calm myself down.

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌... sri lanka, asia.

𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑... changes between blue, gold, red and green all the time.

𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋... butterflies or dolphins

𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓... swimming or basketball

𝐅𝐀𝐕 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐃... seafood and junkfood

𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀 𝐏𝐄𝐓... used to have three (3) kittens but they died (D:) and now i have fish.

𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒: i have pstd and anxiety.

𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒... one (1) little sister (i've always wanted an older brother tbh)

𝐈𝐅 𝐒𝐎 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄... ngl, she drives me crazy. she's only 5 and she's adorable but she's so nosy, troublesome and everytime she pisses me off, she does this laugh that makes me even more pissed. i babysit her everyday now so its tiresome. she throws stuff at me, kicks me, puts the blame on me and all the other stuff bratty little sisters do, but at the end of the day i still love her.

𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒... i speak french, greek, italian and im trying to learn spanish. english is a foreign language for me aswell because my mother tongue is sinhala.

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒.... video games or movies, i can't pick

𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐉𝐎𝐁... youtuber, singer or actress.

welp, sorry if this is too long!! thank you, love your work!! make sure to stay safe <33

POLY RECOGNITION 

I’d match you with....... Denki and Jiro!

I feel like your energy would fit with Denki and Jiro a lot. You and Denki probably meet and were dating before Jiro joined your group with you. You and Denki are the chaotic duo while Jiro is defiantly the more responsible one of your group. You and Denki both fluster Jiro regularly with dirty comments towards her. Jiro likes to play her guitar and watch you draw as Denki will just sit on your bed and admire how lucky he is to have such talented partners. You guys have movie date nights on the regular. Jiro and Denki are absolutely stunned at how you learned so many languages. You all constantly prank each other though Jiro doesn’t go as hardcore as you and Denki do. Jiro loves to swim with you while Denki is defiantly more into basketball, especially since he plays with his friends like Kirishima and Sero often. 

[we-are-inevitable]

modern art // javid (ch. 1)

A/N: hi !! so some of you may remember an old songfic i did in march of last year, titled ‘modern art’ after the song “IDK You Yet” by Alexander 23. well, i’ve always thought that that one shot would work great as a stand alone fic, and here we are! i have ch. 1 edited and SO MUCH of it as changed- like, for example, the fic is a chapter fic now !! regardless, i hope you guys like this !!

WARNINGS: depression, anxiety, self-deprecation, past addiction, mentions of addiction, just general Bad Times- pls be mindful when reading !! it’s just very Not Happy rn ADDITIONAL INFO: all characters are in their mid-twenties in the fic. oh also this is probably important but it’s a soulmate au !!

Read On AO3!

tag list: @bound-for-santa-fe @wannabecowboypunk @shippingcannons @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside @smallsies @deliciouspeachpirate @newsies-is-my-erster 

Jack doesn't know what’s going on with himself, but he knows that he could really use his soulmate right about now.

They’ve communicated before. Never verbally, and never enough to reveal who they were. Perhaps they are both just... dealing with some unspoken fears, dealing with the worry of rejection sitting heavy in their chests. Perhaps they both like this mystery- the uncertainty that came with the notes scrawled across their bodies in a handwriting that isn’t their own.

Or perhaps they just aren’t ready to take the plunge. To grow up and face the harsh fact that, as soon as they meet, wherever and whenever that may be, a new chapter of their life will unfold. Consume them. Change anything and everything they’ve ever known or held dear.

They had been braver when they were children, that much was true. Jack remembers staying up late often, writing notes on his skin and watching in awe as the replies appeared. He remembers the giddy rush of trying to quickly wash off the ink on his wrist when they ran out of space to talk, and, oh, how they talked. There were school days when Jack would go to class exhausted, feeling like he’d been walking through quicksand for miles on end, but all of it had been worth it. The exhaustion he felt had been worth being able to talk to them until two, three, four in the morning. Sometimes he regretted it, of course, but only because it was harder for him to focus in class. Never because he was upset at them.

He could never be upset with them.

Even now, Jack remembers a lot about his soulmate. They liked music. They knew how to play the piano. They were into a few video games, even some that Jack had never played, and said that they always tried carrying a book with them wherever they went. Jack remembers that, as a younger kid, they liked Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but also liked analyzing Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe and a bunch of other fancy authors that Jack had never even heard of. They were intimidatingly smart, and sometimes, would carefully correct Jack’s grammar whenever he misspelled a word or something- but they were never mean about it, they were just… there. A steady presence that he could count on.

Fifteen year old Jack dreamed of finding them one day. But now, twenty-five year old Jack is losing hope.

He can’t exactly help it. For starters, he and his soulmate haven’t communicated in… well, shit, it had to be nearly a year. Maybe nine months or so, but there’s no way to tell for sure, and even then, their conversations since reaching adulthood have been dull, for lack of a better word. A few positive comments here, a ‘have a good day’ there- it’s all so mundane, and neither of them can be blamed for it. They both have busy lives- or, well, Jack does, at least. His job as a graphic designer is hard enough on its own, but the added pressure of doing freelance work and commissions on the side has been eating away at him for weeks, coupled with debilitating self-doubt and lack of motivation for… anything.

Saying that he’s overwhelmed is the understatement of the century.

There is always another design, another client, another meeting, another deadline, another sleepless night as he stares at a blank canvas and prays for a spark of inspiration from whatever God is listening. Usually his inspiration comes from the world around him- his friends, city life, even the quiet confines of his apartment, but right now... Jack is stuck. He had holed himself up in his room days ago, trying and failing to get out of bed every morning when the time came to work- and thank God that the majority of his work could be done from home. His boss was understanding, too, to an extent.

Still, though, there’s a constant heavy weight on his chest that prevents him from moving most days, and he’s lucky if he even gets up long enough to shower or eat or do literally anything aside from lie in silence and count the cracks in his ceiling.

Nothing had happened to him recently to bring this on, from what he can tell. Jack has always been the happy-go-lucky leader, the man with a plan, the guy who always knew just what to say to motivate others into doing the best thing for themselves, but when that responsibility is reflected back onto himself, Jack feels helpless. There are words waiting to be said, sketches waiting to be drawn, designs waiting to be sent to clients… yet Jack lies there, motionless in his room for three days before he even has the energy, the willpower, to pull back his curtains and allow the sunlight to shine through. There is so much he wants to do, so much he needs to do, but he can't bring himself to do any of it.

In all twenty-five years of his life, through all of the things he’s been through, the ups and downs and foster homes and graduations and birthdays and funerals and therapists and rehab facilities and whatever the fuck else life decided to throw at him, Jack has never felt so worthless, so… lonely. His closest friends are all moving on with their lives. Many have already found their soulmate, have settled down and hidden their rowdy, rambunctious pasts behind skeletons in a closet. They’d all gotten their adventures done and over with in high school and college, and most are moving onto bigger and better things in life. They have careers. Families. Some have children, others have pets, a few have an insane amount of plants to care for.

All have seemingly left Jack behind in the dust.

No one told him when to flip the switch.

No one told him when he had aged out of adventure.

Now, they would never say it, but Jack knows. He knows. Saturday hangouts and trips to the bar had been replaced by Sunday church services and playdates for the kids. Rather than hearing yelling from his living room after his friends had all been teetering just on the edge between tipsy and fucked up, Jack hears the news, and documentaries, and podcasts, and the ghosts of a past life that he still seemed to be desperately clinging on to.

Katherine had been the one to tell him that he needed to grow up, though she didn’t put it in such a blunt manner. No, she’s just.... gently urging him to find a bigger apartment, or buy matching furniture from a place that is not a thrift store, or purchase dishes that weren’t of the plastic Walmart brand. She says it was because she wants to see him in a more professional, "adulty" lifestyle, but he knows it’s really because she can see that he’s a mess.

Deep down, Jack knows she’s right. She’s always right.

He just can’t help but feel cemented in place, dreaming of the past while dreading the new future ahead of him.

Jack never asked to feel so broken for no reason. All of the hope and optimism he had felt as a teenager was gone, lost in a sea of uncertain plans and shitty jobs and bill extensions and canvases dropped onto the floor with no rhyme or reason. And, yes, maybe Jack would look dramatic to someone who didn’t know his situation, but Jack knows what dramatic feels like. Dramatic feels like watching his best friend, Charlie, belt onstage in front of a backdrop that he helped create for the school play. Dramatic feels like laughing at the top of his lungs while walking through a random gas station at two in the morning, joined by Race and Al, all while higher than a kite. Dramatic feels like driving to the outskirts of the city with Katherine, climbing onto the roof of an old building and screaming about all of their stress, their anxiety, their insecurities, just to have some form of emotional release.

Dramatic doesn’t feel like sadness. It’s not supposed to.

Not for Jack.

He had been so… so happy, as a teenager. Proud and defiant and carefree. He was the kind of guy to skate and smoke weed in Central Park until midnight and take a math test at eight in the morning the next day. He was the kid who stood on a table in the cafeteria and came out as bisexual to everyone around him, just because of a dumbass bet that he didn’t even get paid for. He was the boy who wasn’t at all good in an academic sense, but who always knew how to talk himself out of trouble, who always came up with the most ridiculous- or most believable- lies to cover his ass when he needed it, who was always the class favorite, the teacher’s pet without meaning to be.

Jack had felt on top of the world back then, but now he’s struggling to even get off of the ground. The longer time goes on, the more lost Jack feels inside his own life. He feels like something was missing, something big. Something bigger than himself.

When his mother was alive, which now felt like lifetimes ago, she would often echo this old wives’ tale about how it’s best to find your soulmate while you’re younger, just to save them- and yourself- the pain of being alone for a long time. Jack had always kind of believed her; logically, he knew it was true, but he had always told himself that it wouldn’t happen to him. That he would be fine alone, though it wouldn’t be ideal, and that he would have plenty of time for soulmates after he got out and made a name for himself.

He’s starting to think, though, that maybe she was right. Maybe Jack had waited too long to make a move, to make contact again, because now, he just feels nauseous even thinking about it.

Don’t get him wrong, he knows the negative effects of self deprecation and not taking his own mental health seriously, he’s been to rehab before, blah, blah, blah, but, fuck, how could he put his soulmate through something like this? This fucked up state of mind he has now. Jack can’t even imagine talking to Katherine about this, and Katherine had been his best friend for over a decade. He can’t just meet his soulmate now- it’s been too long, he’s too messed up, they won’t like him, they’ll hate him for not trying hard enough, and Jack will just end up alone again, wasting away in his bedroom because no one fucking cares. No one cares. He has nobody.

That’s not true. He has Medda, his mom, his savior, his impulse control, but the thought of telling her that everything is acting up again makes him want to scream. He has Tony, but Tony has Al, and Tony and Al have a kid- a sweet little five year old girl who calls Jack ‘Uncle Jackie’ and takes no shit from anyone. He has Katherine, but Katherine has her soulmate- this dude named Darcy, who Jack doesn’t have much of an opinion on because they just met, like, a month ago, and Jack hasn’t exactly been emotionally ready for a hangout session between the three of them. He also has Charlie, and Charlie has certainly seen him in worse times- like when Jack was kind of hooked on pills for the entirety their freshman year of college- but Charlie has grad school to worry about and Charlie would hate him if he bothered him with this.

Still, there are other people who would listen, probably. He could easily talk to Elmer, or Romeo, or Specs, or Jojo or Finch or Sean or a fucking therapist but that’s just it, isn’t it? If he talks, he burdens, and Jack Francisco Kelly would rather run himself into the ground than be a burden anyone.

So, he makes a vow.

He makes eye contact with his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He’s gripping onto the sink, holding on for dear life, as he stares into his own sunken eyes. He takes in his appearance. Damp, messy hair, falling down to cover his forehead. Pale skin, which isn’t normal at all. Dark circles have taken their place around his eyes, and his smile- one of his favorite things about himself- is… nonexistent.

Distantly, Jack registers himself dumping a full bottle of ibuprofen into the sink. And then, he does the same thing with the bottle of melatonin from his medicine cabinet. The valium follows. He lets the water run for a long time. It's not that he doesn't trust himself- he'd done so, so good in rehab, and he doesn't even feel urges that often anymore- but it's better safe than sorry, especially since he's like... this.

This is not the Jack Kelly he’s used to anymore. This is not the Jack Kelly he wants to be.

But this Jack Kelly is the one who vows not to reach out. The one who vows to only answer when his soulmate is ready, and maybe not even then.

He doesn’t have to wait long, though.

Not when a heart appears on the back of his hand the next morning.

It’s there when Jack wakes up, and, honestly, it almost brings Jack to tears- but not necessarily for happy reasons. Sure, Jack wants to be happy. Who wouldn’t be happy after seeing something like this? A lopsided heart drawn in red ink, right on the back of his left hand- it was the definition of a symbol, of a romantic gesture, and Jack wants so badly to write back, to strike up conversation, to draw a goddamn heart, but… he can’t.

He can’t, and that’s horrible of him, and he knows it.

Right now, though… Jack can’t even work up the courage, the energy, to call his mom.

His soulmate, whoever they are, is going to have to wait.