#can’t wait for nesta and rhys to throw down and then make out

[rhysie]

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs - it's time to spread positivity ! (nevermind the fact that nesta and rhys are going to fight in the streets for the rest of their lives)

amy i love u the most ❤️

[daycourtofficial]

Rejection

Summary: After some drinks, Azriel finds out you’ve been keeping a secret from him.

Author’s note: hehe what kinda crack was I given I hope yall feel fed these days

“Nothing stings quite like rejection,” you say, taking another sip from your class. A loud laugh fills the air.

“There’s no way you’ve ever been rejected,” Cassian tells you, popping open another bottle of wine.

You roll your eyes, “I’ve been rejected before, Cass.”

Cassian doesn’t look at you as he pries the cork out of the bottle, foregoing a glass and drinking straight from the bottle before he says, “by who? Someone blind who can’t smell?”

You’re taken aback, “by someone who can’t smell?”

He shrugs, “you smell really nice.”

You smile a little, “thank you?”

“Who was it?” Feyre asks from the other side of Cassian, moving her legs beneath her.

You, Cassian, Feyre, Nesta, and Azriel were lounging around the sitting room, each drinking from a bottle of wine, reminiscing on past love lives.

Azriel looks at you as your cheeks heat, telling her, “it’s too embarassing, you’ll laugh.”

“Were they out of your league?” Nesta asks, intrigued by the new topic.

You gulp down your wine, making eye contact with her steely gaze, “uh, yes, definitely.”

Cassian’s laugh is boisterous as he claps your back, “well tell us. Who could be out of your league?”

Feyre laughs, “yeah I think we need to know so we can go see this perfect specimen.”

Your face is even redder, at both the compliment and knowing who it was. You sigh, knowing they’ll never give up until they find out who it was.

“Okay fine,” you say, breathing in deeply. “A few decades ago, after a high lord’s meeting, I asked someone out, they agreed, and then they didn’t show up.”

“Ouuuuuuch,” Cassian drawls, “what an idiot. That hurts worse than being told no.”

“Yeah,” you respond, “it was embarrassing, but I don’t harbor any bad feelings about them.”

You turn to see Feyre thinking about something. “If it was at a high lords meeting, surely we know them then?” Feyre asks.

Your heart begins beating out of your chest, “oh, you definitely know him.”

“It’s a him! It’s a him!” Cassian shouts as you finish off your wine, opening a new bottle.

Rhys strolls into the room at all the commotion, looking as his family devours his wine collection.

“What’s the point in buying all this wine if you all drink it without me?” He strolls towards Feyre, kissing her on the head before sitting next to her.

“She was just about to tell us about when she got stood up for a date after a high lord’s meeting.”

“Ah,” Rhys says, “when you asked out Azriel.”

Everyone stills, and your eyes are glued on the drink in your hand. The blood is rushing through your ears, but you make out a soft what amongst the noise.

Cassian throws his head back laughing, “you asked out Az? And he stood you up?”

His laugh is booming through the room, but not for the reason you think. You fold into yourself a bit, shoulders sagging as Cassian says, “that’s cold, brother.”

Azriel does not address his brother’s taunts, eyes focused on you.

“You never asked me out.”

“Yes I did. I asked you out to this bar, you said yes, and I waited there for a bit before giving up.”

“No you didn’t,” he says, pouring through his memories of all the meetings he’s attended over the years.

“Az, it’s fine. There are no hard feelings. You changed your mind or didn’t want to hurt my feelings by saying no.”

“No it’s not fine. I would have been there.”

You finally, finally look up at him.

Az turns his attention from you to Rhys, “how did you know she asked me out but I didn’t? What high lord meeting even was this?”

Rhys waves his hand, “it was before Amarantha.”

Feyre tenses at the name, but Rhys goes on.

“During a break I heard her ask you out, but Beron began speaking to me about something, pulling my attention away. I assumed you two went out and there just wasn’t anything there.”

“Which meeting was this?” Azriel asks.

Rhys blows out a breath, “Tarquin’s father wanted to talk about Amarantha and the threat she posed. We were in Dawn for close to a week with discussions that led nowhere.”

You wanted the ground to open a riff and swallow you whole. You even sent Feyre some thoughts.

I’ll give you anything if you kill me right here.

Her melodic laugh fills your mind.

Az adores you, though. I’m shocked he didn’t show up.

She pauses, then her voice rings again.

Also you’re hot as hell, who would say no?

You give her an exasperated look and are about to resign yourself to leave and never, ever interact with any of your friends again when Azriel’s voice picks up.

“I left that meeting early,” Az says, remembering, “one of my spies needed out, I had to go extract them discreetly.”

He looks at you, “it took a few days because they got seriously injured and I wanted to ensure they were okay before coming back. By the time I was done, discussions were over and we were back home in Velaris.”

His face falls a bit, “I-I completely forgot. I am.. so sorry.”

“I appreciate the apology but it was ages ago, I figured you got caught up with something or said yes because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”

“I said yes because I wanted to go.”

The two of you look at each other, forgetting everyone else was there.

He stands, walking towards you, extending a hand.

“I’m quite late, but would you like to accompany me this evening?”

You put your hand in his as shadows envelop the both of you.

The last the inner circle hears from the two of you is a soft yes on the wind.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Thank you for the amazing fiction "the little things" could you please make a similar one with inner circle teasing azriel for being a shimp for his mate(younger archeron reader) of that's OK?

Azzy baby

Azriel was mesmerized with you. Had been from day one and even now months later he still couldn’t focus on anything else while you spoke. And even when you didn’t, he still watched the way you listened to everyone else. He wasn’t big on public affection yet he always pulled your chair closer to his. One arm draped over the back of it, casually caressing your shoulder from time to time. Or he would reach for your hand pulling it to his thigh and holding it there the whole night.

Not to mention that Azriel loved it when you played with his hands. He never thought he could experience something so simple. So probably not special to many. But he drank in any form of affection he got from you. From your sparkling eyes, the moment you saw him waiting for you by the library stairs. To the way you grasped his arm as you two walked through Velaris, leaning into his side. Or reach to intertwine your fingers together once the crowd got too big for your liking.

“Az”, your soft voice pulls him out of a daydream as he hums at you. A soft laugh slips past your lips, “Lost you for a moment there. Daydreaming?”, you tease him softly and he can’t hide a smile on his face. Something that used to be so easy as well. “Always when you’re around”, he brushes a strand of your hair away, leaning in to place a kiss on your cheek. “Girls are going for a walk, I will join them”, you mutter, convinced that he didn’t hear that part of the conversation.

“I will join you”, he pushes his chair back. “Oh, you will not”, Nesta shakes her head. “Strictly lady walk, spymaster”, Mor smirks at him once Azriel throws her an annoyed look. “Stay with your brothers”, you cup his cheek, “We won’t be long, promise”. He reaches out, hand on the back of your neck as he pulls you in, crashing his lips to yours. But you’re being pulled away from him way too soon and he can’t help but growl. “You’ll eat our sister’s face another time”, Nesta chirps. Enjoying this way too much.

“You are a goner”, Rhys lets out a laugh once you all have made it down the patio stairs. Azriel’s eyes still following you. “Look at how he looks at her”, Cassian adds, “Oh, brother, where is our cold unreachable Azriel?”. The spymaster shoots them a death glare. “I can wipe you both out on the mats, don’t get cocky”, he grunts. “Look at the scowl, missing your girl, Azzy baby”, Cass cooed, and for not even a moment a sweet sticky bun was launched at him.

“No, you can’t be taking part in violence”, Rhys snickered, while Cassian was left to gasp, “I will tell on you”, he threatens. “Don’t you fucking dare”, Azriel grunted but Cass was already running for the glass door, leaping into the sky. “Cassian, I swear to…”, and Azriel is rushing after him. “Got to be fast, Az, Cassian can play a victim well”, Rhys practically sang from behind. “Fuck you, Rhys”, the spymaster flipped his high lord over his shoulder before batting his wings in the hope of catching his brother.

[lunajay33]

Struggle🖤

Summary: You always loved azriel but never had the courage to say anything wanting to get to know his culture cassian took you to the Illyrian camps but when you get taken you fall into a dark place only one person might be able to pull you out of

Pairing: Azriel x f!reader

Warning: Violence

•Masterlist•

“Sweetie you need to tell him you’ve been head over heels in love with him since…..since we’ll forever” mor said as we were sat around the dinning room in the house of wind

“Mor you know I can’t he means everything to me I can’t risk that”

“But he’s your” before she could finish the three boys walked in cutting off our conversation thankfully

“Welcome home boys me and dear y/n here were just discussing how in love she is with…”

“MOR DONT” I yelled out before she could practically ruin my life, I looked back over at the guys seeing a smirk plastered on Rhys and cassians face as Azriel looked anywhere but me

Standing up I brush out my clothes out of nervous habit and turn to cassian

“Umm can I talk to you in private for a moment”

“Well of course darling lead the way” he smirks as he holds his arm out for me, he’s like my brother, my duffis brother, I bring him to my room and I throw myself on the bed and sigh making him laugh as he does the same almost breaking my bed

“So what is it you need sunshine”

“This is a huge favor but seeing as I’d have my big strong protector with me, could you show me the Illyrian camps, I wanna know more about where Az came from”

“Oh I don’t know that’s not a place for a lady, Rhys would kill me”

“But I’ll be by your side the whole time and we don’t have to stay long I just wanna know more about him”

“Here’s a thought how about you just ask him” he pokes

“Cas come on this is hard for me, it’s obviously not snapped for him yet and we’ll maybe if I know more things it’ll somehow snap into place for him, I don’t know it’s silly but it’s worth a shot”

“Ugh fine but only because nesta would kill me if I didn’t try and help you out, she’s got a sweet spot for you”

“Oh thank you so much Cas, I owe you”

The next morning I got ready in some warmer clothes knowing it could get could in the camps and since cas will be flying I’ll need that extra warmth, making my way downstairs I’m stopped by shadows swirling around my hands and through my hair like the occasionally did

“They only do this with you, must be something special about you” I hear from the corner of the dim hallway as Azriel emerges from the darkness, my heart leaping in my chest

“I quit like them, they’re beautiful”

“You think they’re beautiful?”

“Of course they always find me when I’m down and the comfort me, plus they’re from you so they’re pretty terrific” I don’t know where this boldness came from but atleast it made him smile which was a rare sight

“Well Cas is waiting for me but I’ll see you later, bye Az” I said quickly before making my way to cas

“Ready princess”

“Always!”

It was a long flight there and by the time Cas landed he was pretty tired having to carry my extra weight

“Sorry to have to put you through this I know how much you work”

“Don’t worry about it darling, hopefully this’ll work out like you want it too then it’ll be worth it not having to hear you both complain anymore”

“Wait what do you mean both?”

“Come on sunshine time to show you around” he laughs with a mischevious grin

We walked through the camp for a while he showed me where him Rhys and Az would meet up and where they lived, this didn’t go unnoticed by many males of the camp not taking their eyes off of me

“Come to investigate our camps again traitor?” A large Illyrian man groan as he stood with some other males in our path

“Nothing of your concern now move” cassian growled holding me behind him

“And I see you’ve brought us a sweet treat” before I knew it a fight broke out and even though Cassian was strong and great at fighting it was unfair against 5 men, then arms wrapped around me and started to drag me away

“CASSIAN……LET ME GO!” I scream terrified of what was to come

Dragged into a dark room being tied to a metal hot pipe, my arms over extended behind my back as the heat from the pipe burned my skin

“Oh we’re gonna send that high lord a message”

Azriels POV

After my interaction with y/n this morning I’ve been confused, did she have feelings for me too? She was pretty flirty for someone so timid around me usually

I was broken from my thoughts when cassian busted through the door out of breath, bloody and exhausted

“Cas what the hell happened? Where’s y/n?”

“I knew it was a bad idea……she was taken by Illyrian men they jumped me and I couldn’t find her” Rhys quickly entered the room taking my arm and winnow us to the camps

I sent my shadows out hoping to pinpoint exactly where she is, after a moment they frantically swirled back to me, she was in a run down house near by, Rhys followed me no questions asked

Busting down the door I see a group of men alert ready to fight, Rhys and I so full of anger finished them of quickly and painfully until all that was left in the room to hear was her quiet whimpers

Finding her in a dark corner her forearms burned and blistering red, her clothes ripped from her body showing the red angry cuts and whips littering her body, her nose dripping with blood and her one eye black and swollen shut, my heart clenched at the sight knowing I could’ve protected her, if I sent one of my shadows with them none of this would’ve happened and that’s when I felt it, the pull in my chest the one I never thought I’d experience

She’s my mate

Normal pov

I woke up aching all over hearing voices all around me, opening eyes as best I could realizing I could only see out of one, I slowly reached up feeling the swell and pain that coursed through the area

“Thank god you’re awake” I hear next to me as the bed dips and those hands I could never mistake, the hands of the man I love but then memories of the hands that touched me, that hurt me flashed in my mind and I pulled away out of instinct wanting to just curl up and hide away from the world

“Oh darling I’m so sorry, I knew taking you there was a bad decision” cassian said from behind Azriel, I could see the regret written all over his face

“How do you feel?” Mor asked sweeping my hair aside but oddly her touch didn’t make me want to run away

“Hurts” I groaned out my throat hoarse and dry

“You’ve been out for a few days, Majda says your wounds are healing fast so that’s good news” Azriel said seeming nervous but certain wounds I felt would never heal, my heart ached

“Can I just go to my room, I need to be alone”

“Are you sure Angel” if any other time I heard Az call me Angel I’d be jumping with joy but right now I couldn’t feel that, I just nodded as nor helped me sit up and led me to my room, walking slowly feeling ever cut and pain that was inflicted, slowly laying back down in my own bed, it gave some form of comfort knowing I was home

“Do you need anything?” Az asked as I felt his shadows swirl around me basically engulfing me

I shook my head and they left but before Azriel closed the door he left one shadow with me telling me to call for him when I need anything

Then I was alone letting sleep take me over once again

Azriels POV

Seeing her so broken made me feel like I’ve failed her, the inner circle all sat around the table silently all worried about my dear mate

“What the hell were you even doing there?” I groaned asking Cassian

“She wanted to know more about your past, she thought it would help snap the mating bond for you” my heart stopped

“She did this for me, she knew we are mates?”

“She’s known for a while, hell I’m pretty sure she knew immediately from the moment she met you centuries ago, she didn’t wanna pressure you” Mor stated

“Why didn’t any of you tell me, how didn’t I know” the stress now gnawing at my soul

“It was pretty obvious Az, she’d blush anytime you’d walk in the room, or how happy she’d get when you’d come home from a long mission, she loves you so much man” Rhys added

It’s been a week now and she hasn’t left her room I kept checking on her but she never wanted anything, she’s become pale and frail, never showing emotion, sometimes I’d feel a wave of terror down through the bond and I’d always send her back a wave of calm hoping it would ease her

But I couldn’t take it anymore knowing she’s in pain, everyone has tried helping to get through to her in anyway we knew how, I just have to do something

I knocked on the door knowing she wouldn’t respond but still I wanted to give her that respect, slowly I opened the door seeing her in her usual spot sat at the window my shadow swirling around her hands, seemingly mezmorizing her, distracting her from what plagues her mind

“Hey darling, can I sit with you?” I ask approaching her, shivering from the cool breeze from the open window, she nodded and I sat across from her on the window seat, after I took a blanket and draped it over her lap

“Do you want to talk about it, maybe it’ll help ease what you’re feeling” she was silent for a long time just looking at the shadow till I noticed the tremble of her lip

“It hurts Az” she whispered as she curled into herself

“I’m so sorry Angel” I said placing my hand on her leg gently hoping it could ground her in this vulnerable moment

“What they did to me, humiliated me, stripped me naked and beat me black and blue, I can’t even look at my self anymore” she cried finally opening up

“I just wanna be me again, I wanna be happy”

“I’m hear every step of the way but it’s gonna take time Angel, you know we are all here for you, I’m always gonna be here and I’ll never let anyone hurt you ever again” she sighed as she leaned forward and laid on her side her head resting in my lap

“Can we just stay here for a moment”

“Anything for you, my beautiful mate”

[saltnseas]

Oh, baby

summary: you and azriel announce to the inner circle you're pregnant

warnings: allusions to s*x

author's note: really short fic that i wanted to write. huge thank you to @toorusplant for being such a big help when writing this and helping me write this, love ya!

Azriel’s hand slides around your waist as you stand in front of the mirror. “You look gorgeous, my love.” 

You turn around and smile. “You ready to tell them?”

Azriel’s hand smooths over your belly. The bump is barely there, and not even visible, but Azriel doesn’t care. Ever since you two found out about the babe, it’s been a constant need to hold each other and bask in each other’s presence. “Yeah, I’m ready to tell them.” 

He takes your hand and leads you down the steps into the dining room. Everyone is there and people throw their usual greetings at you as you enter. 

Dinner goes well and it’s about the usual thing. The Batboys teasing each other. The girls gossip about the latest celebrity drama. 

Until finally, Rhysand takes out some wine, and offers you some, you know it’s time. Azriel gives you a gentle squeeze on your leg. “Um, actually Rhys, I can’t drink that.” You say with a cheeky smile. 

Rhysand gasps, “You’re…..pregnant.” 

Feyre squeals, “You’re pregnant!” 

Your friends all come and hug you. Rhysand and Cassian clap Azriel on the back, and you hear shouts, “You don’t have the biggest wingspan for nothing!” 

Mor squeals as she hugs you, “I knew it! When we went dress shopping I noticed you went up two cup sizes already!” She says with a laugh. 

When the laughter calms down, Cassian thinks before saying abruptly, “Wait a minute Az, that means you did it raw!” 

“Shut up Cassian!” You all say in unison. 

Nesta was for sure going to make him sleep outside for the night.

[pricklepearbloom]

Hey I've love love loved your acotar fics and was wondering if you could do like a jealousy fic with az like he's being completely irrational about the amount of time your spending with one of his brothers but you only love him and he goes to elain for comfort but it ends in fluff after a big argument because as we know he struggles to regulate/show his emotions thanksss

-🥒

a/n: hey loveee I hope this is something along the lines of what you wanted! I've never done an ask before (omg first!!) If anyone else has any request, don't be afraid to slide into my inbox bb.

All I Want

Pairing: Azriel x OC (Ruby)

Warnings: just some good old-fashioned angst, not beta read

Word count: 3.5K

As the morning sunlight gently filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room, Ruby found herself in a cocoon of comfort, wrapped in the tender embrace of the love of her life, her sweet mate Azriel. The soft rhythm of his breathing and his heart synchronized with hers in a sweet lullaby. In the mornings, it felt like the world outside the haven of their bedroom seemed to pause before the chaos of the day began. Gods she loved weekends, nothing to do but relax and stay cozy Ruby mused as she cuddled in further into her mate’s strong chest.

He pulled her closer as he began to wake placing a soft kiss on her head, practically shoving his nose into her hair to drown in the scent of her shampoo. “Mmm what time is it?” Ruby lightly rasped out, voice rough from disuse. “Who cares, I intend to stay right here all day.” Azriel replied as he gave her a small squeeze, running a thumb lightly along the small of her back. Ruby smiled softly letting her brain imagine spending all day in bed.

Shoot. She couldn’t spend all day in bed. Ruby’s eyes shot open and she sat up at breakneck speed. Azriel scrunched his brows and followed her up to a sitting position. “Is everything alright? Hey, wait where are you going?” He calls as Ruby jumps out of bed throwing on her dressing robe running into the bathroom.

“I’m sorry! I totally forgot I promised Cassian that I would meet with him today.” Ruby said her voice muddled from speaking with her toothbrush in her mouth. Azriel felt his stomach drop a bit, he had been looking forward to spending time with her today. Rhys had been piling more and more work on his plate and he promised he wouldn’t intervene today. “But wai-“ he tried to get out “I’m sorry I’m running terribly late I can’t believe I forgot, he’s going to kill me.”

Azriel took a deep breath as he watched her run around their bedroom putting on undergarments then picking up and smelling and pair of pants, making a face and putting it back down before repeating the process until she had found one that suited whatever clearly questionable requirements she had for clean laundry.

“I’ll be back later okay?” Ruby glanced up from pulling her shoes on her feet and saw the slightly lost look on Azriel’s face as he was still sitting upright in bed, mouth slightly ajar. She felt a kernel of guilt tighten in her stomach. “I can cancel if you want. I’m sorry I forgot to mention it, Cassian asked me to help him pick out an anniversary present for Nesta and you know him, he’s useless at that kind of stuff.”

Her eyes softened and she crawled back on the bed placing a soft kiss on Azriel’s sharp jawline that seemed clenched before immediately relaxing after feeling her soft lips on his face. “But if you want, I can absolutely cancel, and we can stay in bed and spend the day together?” He shook his head lightly, “no, it’s fine. You should go. Someone needs to stop him from buying her an engraved horse saddle.” He sighed “I’ll just miss you; will you be back later? Maybe we can make hot cocoa and read together?”

A fond smile came to Ruby’s lips at the idea. “That sounds lovely darling. I think I should be back just after lunch; I’ll see if we can stop by the bakery to get some of those pastries that you love.” She scooted off of the bed before leaning back in for one last kiss. Azriel wanted to make it count, his hand gently caressed her jaw and neck, thumb swiping back and forth along her cheek as he firmly planted a deep kiss that sent Ruby reeling. Azriel’s kisses were always filled with passion and love, they were like a drug to her, she could never get enough. Azriel was the first to pull away, a small smirk on his face seeing her eyes still shut spinning from his kiss. Still got it, he thought to himself smugly. “I love you.” She said softly before practically prancing out of the room, taking Azriel’s heart with her.

That was only the beginning, it seemed. Azriel noticed that Ruby seemed to be spending a lot of time with Cassian. Rationally he knew that nothing would ever happen between them, but his feelings didn’t seem to care much for rationality when Ruby was concerned. His anxiety rose higher and higher as the weeks passed on, holding it all in until one day, after coming home from a long and hard mission, he came to his breaking point.

Muscles aching from a mission, Azriel landed on the balcony of the Townhouse to see Rhys. Meetings with Rhys could take either five minutes or an hour and he had a feeling that this particular meeting was going to be on the longer side. He mentally groaned, his entire body was practically screaming at him to return to his home and wrap his arms around his warm, soft, loving mate. Ignoring the buzz that’s ever present when he thinks about Ruby, he steps off of the balcony and opens the glass door and is met with a rush of warm air and the comforting scent of his home and- is… is that his mate?

His pupils immediately dilated, and his pace picked up tenfold. He swiftly moved through the house following her unmistakable scent, his ears perking up at the sound of her laughter. His ears picked up a low rumble that distinctly did not sound like his mate. His hackles immediately rose as he rounded the corner to see Ruby and Cassian sitting side by side on the couch. He was operating on fumes and all his mind saw at that moment was the love of his life with a man that was not him and all. he. saw. was. red.

“What is this.” His voice cut through the warm atmosphere like his truth teller on a mission. Ruby’s eyes snapped up to meet his and lit up with excitement “Az!” Jumping up off of the couch to greet him. She took in his tight expression and lowered her arms that were barely raised to embrace him.

“What’s wrong?” She said cautiously taking a step toward him “Oh, not much. Just came here to debrief before going home after a very long day to see my faithful, loving mate. Only come to find her here with my brother.” Ruby’s eyebrows scrunched shocked while Cassian’s rose to his forehead “Azriel. You’re out of line.” Cassian said slowly rising from his seat on the couch with a confused expression on his face.

Cassian’s defense only served to anger Azriel even more. Obviously if he was being defensive that meant that something was going on. Ruby had been spending an obscene amount of time with Cassian, something more had to be going on. “Am I? Please, Cassian, tell me why you’re spending your night with my mate when you have your own to attend to? Or is she not enough for you anymore that you had to take what was mine as well.” Azriel practically spat out, his shadows lashing out from his body reacting to his heightened emotions.

Cassian’s eyes darkened at the slight against Nesta. “Don’t speak a word about my mate. She is and will always be enough for me. What is going on with you? This isn’t like you at all.” And he was right, the emotions that were roiling through Azriel didn’t feel like him at all. Usually, he would be ecstatic to see his mate and his brother getting along so well. When they first met, Ruby had some issues with feeling welcome into the inner circle. They were a tight nit group, and she was easily overwhelmed by the depth that each of them knew each other, it often felt like she would never find her place beyond being Azriel’s mate.

“Cass do you mind giving us the room for a minute?” Ruby said gently, not letting her eyes leave Azriel’s. Once the war general gave a tense nod and slipped through the doorway to give the couple some privacy, Ruby took another step toward Azriel. “Az,” Ruby said hesitantly “I promise nothing was going on, Cassian and I were just catching up. Why don’t you take a seat, and we can talk about whatever’s going through your head?” A wave of embarrassment flooded through Azriel, but he shrugged it off, choosing to shut down instead. “Unfortunately, I need to meet with Rhys to debrief. I’ll meet you at home.” Ruby’s eyes sharpened at his harsh tone. “Fine. But don’t come back until you figured out what the hell is going on with you and you’re ready to talk.” Azriel didn’t bother to acknowledge her as he strode out of the room headed for Rhys’ office.

Following the fight, Ruby went home and sat and waited for Azriel to come back. She reflected on their little spat and agonized over every word. What could she had said differently? It pained her that her mate was hurting and that he wouldn’t let her help. When he comes home, she thought, we’ll sit here and talk about whatever is going on with him and then we’ll move forward from there. That’s all we can do.

But minutes turned to hours and Ruby still sat on the couch. A debrief had never gone on this long before and Ruby was sure that he was probably just taking some time to cool off. She didn’t move from her spot on the couch as the day turned to night and somewhere in the late hours of the night, she fell asleep on the couch, still waiting.

A door shutting woke Ruby from her slumber, her neck aching with the pain of being held in the wrong position for too long. Ruby reached up, trying to rub the ache away her eyes locking onto the dark figure standing in the archway that leads to their living area. “Hi.” Azriel said hoarsely “What time is it?” Ruby said her gaze peering out of the window seeing the light peek through the linen curtains they had picked out together “Did you just get home?” Azriel nodded unable to meet her eyes. “W-Where have you been? Why didn’t you come home last night? I waited up all night for you.” Ruby said standing from her place on the couch, leaving the imprint of her body on the couch from hours of use.

“I stayed with Elain for the night.” Ruby’s heart sunk through the floor. It was no secret that there was bad blood between the two. Azriel and Elain had an attachment of sorts until Ruby came into the picture and Elain made it very clear that she was not a fan of Ruby. She was constantly spouting vitriol about Ruby while she was still new to the inner circle, never in ear shot of Azriel of course. Eventually, Ruby made her discomfort known to Azriel and he had put distance between himself and Elain. His interest in her had been waning for some time and when Ruby came into his life, he didn’t give the Archeron sister another thought. His heart and mind set on the kind and strong female that the cauldron had blessed him with.

“Why?” Ruby’s rasped through a tight throat, thick with emotion. “Did you- Azriel did you cheat on me?” Her eyes welled up with tears as she stared at him incredulously, a sharp pain shot through her chest at the idea.

“No, no. I would never do that to you Ruby. I just...” he paused dropping his gaze to the floor. “I wanted you to feel how it felt when I saw you with Cassian.” Now that the words had left his mouth, he wished he could take them back. He wished he could shove them into a box and never let them see the light of day again because the look on Ruby’s face, it was enough to make him want to take truth teller and shove it into his gut until he bled out at her feet.

“You- you went to Elain’s to get back at me?” she said hoping that her ears had been lying to her and she didn’t hear that her mate had done something so… so spiteful. She had been trying to hold them back but once the first tear came it was like opening the floodgates. Azriel took a step forward reaching out to brush them away and to comfort her but she matched his step, taking one backward, flinching away from his hand. “I think I need some space.” She stepped past the couch that she had been sitting at all night waiting for him to come home so they could make up, but he was with her.

Azriel lightly grabbed her wrist as she passed him intending to head quickly toward the stairs that led to their bedroom. “Ruby, please. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” Ruby jerked her arm out of his grasp spinning around on him. “Really? You weren’t thinking for the entire night? I find that incredibly hard to believe Azriel. Leave me alone.” She practically ran up the stairs and slammed the door shut, locking it swiftly. She practically collapses into sobs on their bed, her tears staining the pillows still made and fluffed from yesterday morning.

Azriel’s heart shattered into pieces as he tried the door handle, finding himself locked out of his bedroom, unable to console and comfort his mate who he betrayed. He felt like beyond an idiot. What was he thinking? Going to Elain of all people? After his meeting with Rhys, he felt his emotions pulling himself in a million directions. He ran into her in the kitchen, fully intending on going home to sort things out with his mate, she saw the look in his eyes and offered an ear and some tea. A dark part in Azriel thought well if his mate was going to talk to another male then he could talk to another female. A large part of his heart ached to be with Ruby, but mess of his feelings kept him seated. They sat there all night talking and the next thing he knew it was light outside marking the next day.

If he could turn back time, he would slit his own throat before sitting to tea with Elain. It would probably hurt less than he felt now, hearing his mate’s sobs through the locked door knowing there was nothing he could do to help. “Please, Ruby.” He croaked out after hours of sitting outside of the door. “I’m sorry. I… I was jealous and stupid, and I wanted to make you hurt like I was hurting. It’s felt like you’ve picked Cassian over me for weeks and I didn’t know how to talk to you about it. I’m so sorry my love, you deserve a better mate.” Her cries had softened to a sniffle and he heard a click of the door. It surprised Azriel who had been sitting on the ground, head hung low.

He shot up, the door opening to reveal Ruby with a red nose and puffy eyes, irritated from hours of crying. He didn’t think his heart could break any further, but he found himself wrong once again.

“I don’t deserve a better mate. I have the perfect mate, Azriel.” She said softly, his heart daring to lift an inch off of the ground of the pit that it found itself in at her words. “I deserved to be treated better though, yes.” He hung his head nodding solemnly. Ruby walked back to bed and crawled beneath the sheets. Azriel hesitated to get close to her, his eyes shone with tears unshed. The desperation to be close to her was palpable and Ruby granted him mercy lightly tapping on the bedspread next to her. He wasn’t going to question her as he kicked off his boots practically racing for the bed before she changed her mind. They lay side by side turned so they could see each other. Whenever they were in bed, they were always wrapped in each other’s arms so not being able to touch her was agony for Azriel.

“What happened Az? Why didn’t you talk to me about how you were feeling with me seeing Cassian?” She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself as a way to comfort herself from the conversation they were having. Azriel reached out to tuck a piece of hair that had fallen into her face before thinking better of it halfway and pulling it back away. Ruby gently grabbed his hand and led it back to her cheek. As upset as she was, she craved the comfort that only he could provide. He caressed the side of her face, his thumb gently stroking back and forth. She closed her eyes feeling the familiar sensation, relishing in the warmth and care he provided.

“I was embarrassed, I think. I know you would never cheat on me but whenever you left to see him it felt like you were choosing him over me. And then it felt like you were spending all of your time with him and I felt like I wasn’t enough for you. Like you had to seek happiness elsewhere with someone more worthy.” He whispered back the insecurities that had flooded his brain as of late. Ruby shook her head vehemently, “I’m sorry you were feeling like that Az, I had no idea. Why do you keep saying that you aren’t worthy? You are.” She pressed not breaking eye contact with him as if to hammer home her reassurance. He didn’t deserve his kind mate. He should be reassuring her and here he was blubbering about his insecurities. “I don’t know. You are this ball of light and bring so much warmth into my life and what do I bring you? Baggage and pain.” He held his breath as he dared to whisper his deepest thoughts. As if, if he spoke them too loudly, she would realize his words to be truth and would up and leave. But she didn’t. She just shook her head sadly.

“I wish you saw yourself the way I saw you. You are strong, you’re a loyal friend,” he flinched, he wasn’t being very loyal when he went to Elain, Ruby gave him a knowing look. “We’ll get there. You are the best person I know Az. I wish you gave yourself the benefit of the doubt.” Ruby gave a moment of pause watching Azriel shake his head in disagreement “Do you think that I am a good person?” He nodded, “of course. The absolute best.” “Then why would my mate be someone terrible? Wouldn’t it make sense for the one that my soul is bound to by the cauldron to be just as good?” Azriel pondered, he had never thought about it that way before.

Ruby nodded to herself before taking a deep breath “So. Tell me about Elain.” Azriel shut his eyes. “Gods I’m such an idiot. I’m so sorry my love. I promise that nothing happened, I was fired up after the meeting and she and I just talked. I acted despicably and if I could do it all over again, I would come straight home. Words-“ His voice cracked and he cleared his throat “words cannot express how awful I feel about it. If you want me to never speak to her again I will, just say the word. Please don’t leave me. Please. I’ll do anything.” He had never begged before, but he wasn’t above getting down on his knees for this female that ruled his world.

Ruby shook her head lightly “I’m not leaving you.” A weight lifted off of Azriel’s shoulders at her words and he began softly crying tears of relief. The rare sight of Azriel crying was too much for Ruby’s heart to handle and she wrapped her arms around her mate holding him tight. “What you did wasn’t okay. You lashed out to hurt me and I won’t just stand by and be your punching bag when you don’t know how to express your emotions.” Azriel nodded pressing his nose further into her hair taking a deep breath centering himself in her scent. She was here, she wasn’t leaving. “I’ll do better, I promise. I’ll communicate more when I’m feeling upset and we can work through it together.” Ruby nuzzled into his chest humming her approval. “And I’ll be more sensitive to making quality time with you a priority.” They stayed like that for an hour before Ruby broke the silence. “What if we took a little time off from the world? Spent some time just cooped up here, getting back into our groove and patching everything up?” Azriel let out a deep sigh a small fond smile finally taking to his face. “Yes, my love. That sounds wonderful.” They spent the rest of the day there, holding on to each other basking in the other’s warmth.

[jsmelodies]

Since this is the last Wednesday before Nesta week, I decided to post a small snippet of everything I have planned. Hope you enjoy! (putting it under a cut because it's long)

Princess

“He claimed you would not care for me beyond my death,” Cassian said.

“And you believed him.”

Pity entered his eyes, just for a moment. “Nesta. Let’s not talk of this. I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, anyways.”

“No,” she said, shoving off of him. “You can’t just say that and brush it off like it’s nothing. You can’t…Do you really think I would just forget you?”

Cassian didn’t respond, and a line fractured down the center of her heart. Nodding, Nesta turned away, wiping at her eyes as she went to the other side of the tent.

“Well, you haven’t exactly told me otherwise, have you?” he spoke, at long last. At her silence, he continued, “You haven’t. I get it. Trust me, I do. You have a kingdom to think of, and bigger things to worry about than whatever this is,” and if Nesta turned around, she had a feeling she’d find him gesturing broadly between the two of them. “That’s why I never brought this up. You think I don’t know that you’ll marry Eris, and not need me anymore? I know! I’ve known every single time you’ve offered me false condolences, pretending that everything is fine. Every fucking time I’ve asked you if you needed help. I’ve known that you don’t need me, not truly, for much longer than I care to admit.”

She shook her head. Slowly, at first, then more insistent, finally daring to turn and face him again. “You’re wrong,” she said, in a short breath. “You’re wrong. I’ve needed you for years. I still do.”

“Don’t,” he said, firm, “Lie to me. Do whatever else you want to me, but don’t lie.”

Brat!Nesta

“What makes you think you can manhandle me, you brute?”

“I swear I will throw you over my shoulder if you don’t start walking,” he snarled.

The April air was cool against her bare shoulders, so different from the stuffy atmosphere inside the bar. Cassian’s hand was lodged firmly in the small of her back, leading her to the curb where taxis and cars were pulling up.

“Our Uber will be here in a minute or two,” he said.

“I was having fun with him, you know,” she said, ignoring what he’d said. “And I don’t belong to you. It’s my birthday, I can fuck whoever I want.”

His mouth lifted, just barely. “Sure.”

“He was perfectly decent–”

“Oh, really?” Cassian said, scoffing. “You think he can fuck you like I can? You think you would have left his bed satisfied?”

Nesta smirked, giving Cassian a once over. “He did promise to keep me screaming all night.”

He didn’t seem to buy it, not for a second. In fact, he released his hold on her entirely, taking a step back. “Fine, then,” he said, with a cruel smile. “Go back inside. See how we compare. I’ll be waiting, sweetheart.”

Modern Angst

“No, Nesta. Tonight was supposed to be about you, not your father.” Instead of responding to him, Nesta just pursed her lips and let her head fall back to where it had been on his chest. “You’re avoiding this. I can tell this is bothering you, and you’re avoiding it.”

“It’s fine, Cassian. I’ll just tell a story about how he got me a doll or something.”

“Did he do that?”

Nesta snorted. “Only once, I think. And it was because he missed an entire weekend of dance recitals, and thought that he could buy my forgiveness.” After a pause, she said, “I actually think I’ll leave that last part out.”

“Nesta.”

“Cassian. Please stop overthinking this. I’m telling you because I need to plan for a speech, that’s all. Feyre will throw a fit if I’m not there.”

Cassian was about to open his mouth to argue yet again for the existence of boundaries, but Nesta stopped him before he could even start.

“Can we just watch the movie, please?” she asked.

Good Place AU

Rhys walked them through town, pointing out the various attractions he’d installed for their convenience. He pointed out restaurants, frozen yogurt stores, and bookstores, all available for their convenience. Elain’s eyes widened in wonder, while Nesta and Feyre both looked at it with a degree of skepticism.

Then, breaking off from the main part of town, they entered into a residential looking area. 

“Now, since we’re aware of just how much the three of you love each other, we couldn’t possibly separate you here. We’ve designed this specifically so you can spend your entire eternity together. Neat, right?”

“Right,” Nesta muttered. Feyre shot her a dirty look. 

“In fact, we’ve even made a street just for you three. We’ve set you up right next to each other, so you never have to be far apart. And here,” he said, as they got to the first of the houses, “is what we’ve prepared for Nesta. Well? Would you like to come forward?”

[moodymelanist]

What Happens in Vegas

Happy @cassianappreciationweek everyone! I had a lot of fun with this one and major shoutout to @c-e-d-dreamer for giving me the plot idea for this ❤️‍🔥

Summary: Cassian and the guys spend a weekend in Vegas to celebrate his upcoming marriage to Nesta.

✵✵✵✵✵✵

Cassian 

When Cassian had agreed to let Rhys take him to Vegas for an all-expenses-paid bachelor party weekend, he’d been so excited that he hadn’t been able to stop talking about it for days. 

He just hadn’t factored in how much he’d miss Nesta.

“You have everything?” Nesta asked, leaning against one of their living room walls as Cassian wheeled his suitcase to the door. 

“I think so,” Cassian answered. He did a last-minute check that he had his phone, wallet, and keys, along with a light jacket for the flight. “If not, I can just buy it there.”

“Assuming you’ll be sober enough to think straight,” she teased, following him as he walked to the front of their home. 

When they’d been throwing around bachelor party ideas, originally Cassian had wanted to do something chill. He wasn’t into the stereotypical strip club party — especially not when he had Nesta at home waiting for him — but Rhys, Azriel, and Lucien had managed to convince him to visit Vegas for the weekend. Cassian wasn’t a huge gambler, but there were lots of things to do other than throw money away at the casinos, and he’d always wanted to go to Vegas. So he’d agreed to make the trip, and now the moment of truth had finally come. 

Cassian wheeled his suitcase outside to see that Rhys’ familiar black Range Rover was sitting in front of their townhouse, the trunk already open for Cassian to add his suitcase to the mix. He waved toward the car and turned back to Nesta so he could give her a proper goodbye, leaning in and pulling her into his arms in a fierce hug. He buried his face into the side of her neck and inhaled the familiar smell of her perfume while she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into his embrace. Maybe he was being a little dramatic, but who cared? She was the love of his life. He could be a little dramatic if he wanted. 

“I’ll miss you,” Cassian murmured. He pulled back from the hug to fix her with what was probably one of the dopiest looks he’d given her yet. “So much.”

“I’ll miss you too, Cassian,” Nesta replied, the hint of a pleased smile making the corners of her lips turn up. “Have a safe flight.”

“Let’s go, lover boy!” Rhys called out from the car. He honked the horn like an asshole and Cassian whirled around to flip him off. “We’re gonna be late for our flight!”

“Shut the fuck up, Rhys, I’m saying goodbye to my wife,” Cassian yelled back. “Who I love very much!”

Nesta laughed, pulling Cassian’s attention back to her. “I love you too. Now hurry up, I have to keep packing for my trip.”

Nesta had decided on taking a beach trip for her bachelorette party, her and the rest of the ladies deciding to drive down to Myrtle Beach to spend a few days relaxing by the water. She and her sisters – along with Emerie and Gwyn – had rented out a beach house for a long weekend, and Cassian couldn’t wait to see just how many freckles would appear on her skin.

“Have fun at the beach,” Cassian said. He leaned in for a goodbye kiss and forced himself to eventually pull away, but not before he cupped her face and ran his thumb across her cheek. “Bye, sweetheart.”

“Bye, baby,” Nesta said back. She waited until he’d put his suitcase in the trunk and got in the car before she turned around and went back inside, though not before blowing him one last kiss. 

God, he loved her.

“Fucking finally,” Rhys muttered once Cassian had strapped himself into the passenger seat. “You’re leaving for a few days, not going off to war.”

“I’m not going to apologize for giving the love of my life the goodbye she deserves,” Cassian said primly. 

“Cut him a break, you know he can’t help it,” Azriel chimed in from the backseat. “We might as well get used to it. He’ll probably call her every night for a bedtime story.”

“If you got the kind of bedtime stories I did, you’d be calling every night too,” Cassian fired back with a smirk. 

“I don’t think any of us want that level of trauma,” Lucien teased, pulling 

Thankfully, once they made it to the airport, the rest of their traveling went smoothly. They made it through security without any problems, their flight left on time, and Cassian even got to take a nap in first class, all while he was texting Nesta about how nice it was to have real legroom. By the time they touched down in Vegas and made it to their hotel, Cassian was more than ready to walk around and see all that Vegas had to offer. 

Rhys had gotten them some super fancy suite that had a loft and room for everyone to have their own bed, and Cassian could hardly believe the view when they got upstairs. They were so high up that all of Vegas was spread out below them, and Cassian couldn’t stop gaping at how expensive everything must have been. 

“Rhys—” Cassian tried to thank him once Rhys had emerged from putting his stuff away, but he only waved Cassian off. 

“Don’t even think about it,” Rhys replied. “Come on, we have reservations in an hour.”

Cassian obliged and went to get changed, the four of them eventually making their way downstairs to the hotel’s restaurant. The food was amazing and the service was impeccable, and by the time they made it back upstairs, Cassian’s stomach was pleasantly full and was more than ready to pass out. 

“You’re getting an hour, and then we’re going back downstairs,” Azriel told him, waggling his phone at Cassian to show him the timer. “Chop chop.”

“Fine,” Cassian huffed. Once he reached his bed, he kicked off his shoes and stripped down to his underwear before flopping on top of the comforter. “Good night.”

When Lucien came to shake him awake, Cassian was abruptly pulled out of his dream and nearly rolled off the bed. “Morning, sleeping beauty.”

“Fuck off,” Cassian replied good-naturedly. 

Lucien just laughed and left him to get dressed, and once Cassian was presentable, he left the warmth of his bed to find Rhys pouring out a round of shots. 

“Look who’s finally back to the land of the living,” Rhys said as he put the cap back on. “Nice of you to join us, lover boy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cassian said back, flipping him off. “What are we drinking?”

“Tequila,” Azriel answered. He pushed everyone’s shots toward them before moving a little bowl of limes to where the glasses had just been. “If you want one.”

Cassian took one and turned toward Rhys expectantly, since he tended to lead their toasts. His brother was already holding his little shot glass up in the air and waited for the rest of them to follow suit before saying, “To Cassian, who I still can’t believe managed to convince Nesta Archeron to let him follow her around for the rest of their lives. Salud.”

“Trust me, I can’t believe it either,” Cassian joked once he’d tossed back his shot and sucked down on his lime. He’d hardly believed it when she’d said yes to a date, let alone to spending the rest of their lives together, but he wasn’t about to question any of it. “Hit me again.”

By the time they all made it downstairs, they were three shots down and ready for more. Cassian had never really been much of a gambler, but it was cool to see so many different games spread out across the casino floor. There were slot machines and card tables and people cheering or booing depending on how things were going, and Cassian was feeling just enough of a buzz for it to all be exciting. 

Of course, it didn’t take long for the buzz to turn into being full-on drunk. Lucien got him one of those enormous daiquiris while Azriel showed him how to use the slot machines, and Cassian felt like a kid in a candy store. He wanted to try everything at least once no matter how much money he won or lost, and his friends were more than willing to encourage him. There were also plenty of women willing to help him out, but Cassian was far too quick to mention Nesta for any of them to get too close. 

“You want another one?” Azriel asked once Cassian hit the bottom of his daiquiri. It was so loud inside the casino that it was almost hard to hear him. 

“Yeeeeeeeah,” Cassian answered, grinning widely for no reason. Well, not for no reason. He had the greatest friends in the world. “I love you so much, man.”

“Likewise,” Azriel replied. He looked only a little alarmed when Cassian leaned over and threw his arm around him. 

“Nooooo,” Cassian whined. “You gotta say it back. Stop being so repressed. And depressed.”

“Yeah, Az,” Rhys chimed in, laughing. “Tell the man you love him, for God’s sake. It’s not healthy to keep everything inside.”

“He knows that I care about him,” Azriel responded with a heavy sigh. 

“Just say it,” Lucien told him. “He’s not gonna let it go until you do.”

“Fine.” Azriel turned to Cassian and awkwardly patted the side of his face. “I love you too, Cassian. Now can you please let go of me?”

“Yes,” Cassian replied with a big grin. “You’re the best.”

Azriel patted him again before extracting himself from Cassian’s grip, muttering about how he preferred sober Cassian before he and Lucien headed off to the bar. 

“You’re a mess,” Rhys told Cassian fondly. 

“I’m your mess,” Cassian replied just as happily. “Well. Mostly Nesta’s mess now.”

“And isn’t that something,” Rhys said, chuckling. He let Cassian lead him over to another slot machine and made a disappointed noise when he didn’t win. “Let me try.”

Halfway through the game, Rhys frowned and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Cassian saw Feyre’s photo lighting up the screen and he couldn’t help but pout. He wished Nesta would call him. 

“I’m gonna talk to Feyre for a few minutes,” Rhys said, leaning over to poke his finger into Cassian’s chest. “ You better stay right here. Do you hear me?”

“Yup,” Cassian said back. “Stay right here. Got it.”

Naturally, the moment Rhys walked away to call Feyre, Cassian couldn’t help but wander a little too. He didn’t go far, he just wanted to go somewhere that wasn’t as loud as their corner of the casino was, but that was basically impossible. So he just ended up at one of the smaller bars, sighing as he fiddled with his phone and wished Nesta’s photo would show up on his screen.   

Cassian wished Nesta was here. He’d wanted her here with him the entire time, of course, but he was really feeling her absence now. 

Maybe he should call her. 

Yeah. Yeah. He really wanted to hear her voice, and tell her how much he loved her in case she forgot, which she definitely wouldn’t, but it never hurt. Just in case. And if she wouldn’t call him, then he could always call her to remind her. The perfect compromise.

He dialed her number from memory just because he could, and pressed the phone to his ear while the line rang. He hoped she picked up because he really missed her and wanted to talk to her about Vegas and hear her laugh. God, she had the best laugh. The best everything, really. She was so perfect it was almost too much to handle. But he could manage. For her, he’d do anything. 

Nesta didn’t answer, which — Cassian was not going to cry about it. He was not. She was having a good time with her friends, and between the time difference and her being on a well-deserved girls' trip, no way she was picking up the phone right now. 

Still. He could be a little sad about it. 

“Hi, you’ve reached Nesta Archeron,” came the start of her very professional voicemail. “I’m not available right now, but please leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

“After the tone, please record your message,” the automated voice told him. Cassian blinked away the not-tears in his eyes as he waited for it to finish. “When you are finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options.”

“Heeeeeeey, sweetheart,” Cassian began once he heard the beep. “Nes. Nesta. Babe. I don’t wanna be annoying or anything. But. I miss you. So, so much. I know it hasn’t even been a day but I wish you were here. I lost all the money Rhys gave me and I wanted to buy you something good but you’re not even here to make me feel better and I hate it.”

Wait. Fuck. It wasn’t her job to make him feel better. 

“Not that that’s your responsibility because I am a grown man.” He made sure to stress those last two words so she knew he was being serious. “I just. I’m having fun, but I know I’d have a lot more fun if you were here too.”

He took a deep breath before continuing. “Not that I’m not having fun. I hope you’re having fun. You work so fucking hard and you never do nice things for yourself even though you deserve it. You deserve all the nice things because you are the best fucking person I know.”

God, he was so drunk. Nesta was definitely going to laugh at him about this later, but then she’d kiss him and it would all be worth the embarrassment. 

“I just love you so much,” Cassian said, a distressing sniffle making its way out of his nose before he pulled himself together. “Okay. Okay. I’m okay. I’ll see you when you get back. I love you, sweetheart. Okay. Bye.”

Cassian forced himself to hang up and then released a heavy sigh, putting his head in his hands for a few moments to collect himself. 

“You alright, man?” someone asked. 

Cassian pulled his head out of his hands to see the bartender giving him a semi-worried look. “Yeah. I just really miss my fiancée.”

“Bachelor weekend?” the bartender asked with a sigh. At Cassian’s nod, he added, “You should be enjoying yourself.”

“I am,” Cassian insisted. “I just. Really miss her.”

The guy’s name tag read Kallon, and he looked distinctly unimpressed. “Aren’t you going to see her in a few days?”

“Yeah,” Cassian answered slowly. “So?”

“So?” Kallon repeated. “So? So you’ll see her in a few days, man. You gotta get it together.”

“I’m trying,” Cassian told him. 

“Maybe you could order a drink and that would make you feel better,” Kallon suggested pointedly. “Or maybe you could go mope upstairs in your room?”

“Trust me, you’d be moping too if you had a fiancée like mine and she wasn’t here,” Cassian promised. 

“Oh yeah?” Kallon replied, sounding extremely skeptical. “Sure, buddy.”

“I’m serious.”

“I’m sure you are, man.”

“I’ll prove it to you.”

“You really don’t need to do that.”

“No, I think I do.” Cassian fumbled with his phone before pulling up some of their engagement photos, his heart squeezing all over again at how gorgeous Nesta looked in them. “Here.”

“Huh,” Kallon said, surprised. “Would you look at that.”

“See?” Cassian said back smugly. He accepted his phone and slid it into his pocket so he wouldn’t lose it. “I told you so.”

“Yeah, alright,” Kallon replied. “You can have that one. She’s beautiful. You two look great together. Now are you gonna order a drink, or are you gonna keep moping?”

Cassian was just about to pull up some more photos and keep being snarky when he felt someone’s hand roughly spin the back of his barstool around. “What the fuck — Rhys?”

“Where the fuck have you been,” Rhys hissed into his ear. 

“Right… here?” Cassian replied, confused. He hadn’t gone that far. “I just went to sit down somewhere else.”

“We have been looking for you for the last fucking half hour,” Rhys continued. “We thought we lost you!”

“How the fuck could you lose me? I’ve been here the whole time,” Cassian told him. He turned toward the bartender and made a flapping motion with his hands that he hoped got his point across. “Tell him!”

“It’s true,” Kallon replied resignedly. “He’s been here the whole time, moping about missing his fiancée and not ordering anything .”

“My gorgeous fiancée,” Cassian corrected automatically.

“Yeah, yeah, the sun shines out of Nesta’s ass, we get it,” Azriel chimed in, sounding exhausted. 

“Let’s just be grateful nobody had to tell her we lost him,” Lucien muttered. He exchanged a relieved look with Rhys and Azriel before turning his attention back to Cassian, pulling one of Cassian’s arms over his shoulder so he could bodily haul Cassian out of his seat. “Come on, lover boy. That’s enough shenanigans for one night.”

tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @charming-butt-insane | @oversizedbats | @melphss | @sv0430 | @podemechamardek | @autumnbabylon | @live-the-fangirl-life | @julemmaes | @that-little-red-head | @jmoonjones | @sayosdreams | @thewayshedreamed | @hiimheresworld | @brieq | @pearlfortears | @swankii-art-teacher | @nerdperson524 | @snickerdoodlechittybangbang | @imsointobooks | @nesquik-arccheron | @sweet-pea1 | @champanheandluxxury | @dustjacketmusings | @mrs-shadowsinger04 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @goddess-aelin | @arinbelle | @talkfantasytome | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @duskandstarlight | @letstakethedawn | @vidalinav | @c-e-d-dreamer | @dealfea | @katekatpattywack | @burningsnowleopard | @thatsowlmazing

[c-e-d-dreamer]

But I'm Only Looking At You: Part Two

A/N: Happy happy day two of @cassianappreciationweek! Nothing says Gentle like (checks notes) crashing the wedding of the woman you love, right? Right? What can Cassian say, sometimes love makes you do crazy things! Anywho! Hope everyone enjoys :) Also, fun fact! The words Cassian says during the ceremony are historically accurate!

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Cassian watches from the shadows as a carriage pulls up in front of the church. The footman steps down and pulls open the doors, Elain and Feyre stepping out first. Both of Nesta’s sisters are wearing dresses of a pretty, pink color, their hair pinned up with flowers tucked into the golden brown strands.

Lord and Lady Archeron follow their youngest daughters out of the carriage, Eleanor turning back to say something. From this distance, Cassian can’t hear what’s said, but from the dip of Eleanor’s brows, the pinch of her lips, it appears to be some sort of reprimand. The look just has Cassian’s resolve hardening, a scowl of his own twisting across his face.

Finally, Nesta steps out of the carriage and into the afternoon sun. Despite the other ladies of London preferring yellow for their special day, Nesta has opted for a pale blue dress that looks almost silver beneath the sun’s rays. The style is simple but elegant, exactly what Cassian would expect for Nesta, and while he can’t quite see her face beneath the lacey veil she’s wearing, she looks beautiful.

With a steadying deep breath, Cassian straightens and rolls his shoulders back. He takes a moment to tug at the cuffs of his sleeve, combing his fingers through his hair to ensure the strands fall neatly around his face. A sigh from behind him has Cassian pausing before he steps out of the alleyway, and he just barely swallows down an eyeroll.

“Are you sure there’s no talking you out of this?”

Crossing his arms across his chest, Cassian turns around to face his chosen brothers, Rhys and Az each leaning against the brick walls of the buildings on either side of the alleyway. Rhys looks at Cassian with blatant exasperation as he waits for the response to his question, an expression he’s been wearing since Cassian first informed him of his plan the night of his House Party. Not that it made a difference then. Nor, does it make a difference now.

“No,” Cassian answers matter-of-factly, almost daring Rhys to try his argument tactics again. They didn’t work all week and they certainly won’t work now. “Did you ensure my request arrived?”

Rhys sighs again, rolling his eyes, but he doesn’t look particularly surprised at Cassian’s response. “Yes. I pulled a few strings and was able to make sure the Bishop sees your request as soon as possible.”

“Good,” Cassian nods his head, turning back toward the church. He can no longer see the Archeron family, which means they must have gone inside and the countdown has officially started.

“There’s no going back from this you know,” Azriel finally pipes up. “She honestly might hate you for this.”

“I know,” Cassian answers quietly. And he does. He knows exactly how disastrously this is probably going to go. “But I love her.”

And that truly is the crux of it. He loves Nesta, and he refuses to watch the woman he loves marry a man like Tomas Mandray. He refuses to watch her become just like Lady Mandray, growing pale and thin, wearing long sleeves even in the warmer months, being prone to ‘sudden illnesses’ that keep her out of the public’s eye for weeks. He refuses to watch her curl into herself and lose that fire he loves so much under the words he used to hear Tomas spew when they were at school. And if that means throwing himself into the firing line in order to do that, then so be it.

“We all know exactly the kind of man Tomas Mandray is,” Cassian continues, glancing over his shoulder at Rhys and Azriel one last time. “And even if she hates me forever, at least she’ll be safe.”

“Then go get your wife,” Azriel tells him, smirking slightly.

Cassian chuckles and shakes his head, walking across the road to the church. He wastes no time jogging up the front steps and through the door, but he pauses just inside the atrium. The large, wooden doors that lead into the nave loom before him, taunting him. Everything he’s ever wanted is right there on the other side, and once he steps through them, he won’t be able to take it back.

He takes a slow breath in, holding it for a few moments before he lets it back out. It’s all quiet in the atrium, almost eerily so. Cassian tries to strain his ears for sounds, for voices, beyond the doors, but the wooden doors and the stone surrounding him are too thick. He supposes there never really is a good time in a wedding ceremony for this type of thing.

“I’m sorry, Nes,” Cassian mutters to himself before he pulls open the doors.

The wood of the doors creaks and groans, and the metal hinges give a high pitched whine, the sound echoing loudly along the vaulted ceiling of the church. Cassian winces slightly, but it does have the required reaction. All sets of eyes in the church snap to him, but he doesn’t even bother looking anywhere else. Not at Lady Archeron who he’s sure must be sneering and glaring at him. Not at Elain or Feyre who he’s sure are staring with shock. Definitely not at the Mandray family…

Instead, Cassian keeps his attention firmly on Nesta, on where she’s standing at the front of the church, her hands clasped neatly with Tomas’s. Her hands that decidedly do not yet have a ring on them. Beneath the lace of her veil, her blue eyes are wide, and she shakes her head almost imperceptibly.

“What is the meaning of this?” the Rector asks, frowning down at Cassian.

“Forgive me, Father,” Cassian begins, continuing down the aisle and closer to the altar. “But I cannot lie, cannot continue on with this secret. Not under the Mother. I must be honest, must confess.”

“Then confess, son,” the Rector encourages.

“I have already had Miss Archeron.”

For a moment, the whole church is deathly silent, his words slowly but surely sinking in. And then gasps and murmurs break out, a cacophony of sounds and alarm. It’s with sick satisfaction that Cassian watches Tomas drop Nesta’s hands like he’s been burned, watches him step back and away from her with a disgusted scowl on his face.

“I beg your pardon?” the Rector asks, clearly trying to calm the rising emotions swirling around the church.

“I'm sorry, Father, but it’s true. I have laid with Miss Archeron. I know what a grave sin it is, what a dishonor I’ve committed for us both, but I’m prepared to right this wrong. I’m prepared to take her hand in marriage myself.”

“What are you doing?” Nesta seethes, storming over to him and shoving hard at his chest.

“I’m sorry, Nesta,” Cassian tells her, and he prays she can see the truth in his eyes, hear it in his words. He prays that she knows just how much he means it, how sorry he is for all of this. “But we cannot pretend any longer, cannot lie to everyone here including your betrothed. It’s not right.”

“I should have known you’re no better than a common whore,” Tomas sneers, tone dripping with cold cruelty.

His words have Cassian’s anger flaring red hot through his veins. He lets out a quiet growl and takes a step forward, his fist already clenching and his knuckles practically itching to collide with the Viscount’s face. It’s only Nesta’s hand settling firmly on his chest, stopping him, that has Cassian holding himself back.

“Tomas,” Nesta pleads, whirling back around to face the Viscount. “Please. It’s not like that. Just… just give me a moment. I’ll sort it out.”

Nesta’s fingers curl around Cassian’s wrist, her grip tight enough that her nails dig into his skin. From the glare she settles him with, the pain is clearly intentional. She all but drags him out of the nave and back into the atrium, leaving the still shocked wedding guests behind. She drops his wrist once the doors close behind them, but it’s only to shove at his chest again.

“I cannot believe you,” Nesta snaps, shoving hard enough this time that Cassian stumbles back a few steps.

“Nesta—”

“Seriously. What is wrong with you?”

“Nesta, please—”

“We have never laid together.”

“I know.”

Nesta finally pauses in her assault to his chest, blinking a few times as she takes in his words, before she lets out a sardonic, almost hysterical laugh. “So, you just decided to lie? To ruin me? To ruin my sisters.”

Cassian lets out a quiet breath, reaching for Nesta’s hand but she yanks it away and out of his reach. He tries not to let the gesture sting as much as it does. “Nes, please. You have to understand that I—”

“Go back in there and tell them you lied. This instance.”

“I can’t,” Cassian tells her, his voice quiet and mournful.

“Cassian!” Nesta pleads, her voice tinged with desperation.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” Cassian steps closer to her, his hands coming up to cradle her cheeks. He hates it. He hates seeing the pain in her eyes, the water that’s started to line them. He hates that he's the reason for her tears. “I can’t let you marry him. I can’t lose you. If this is the only way, then so be it.”

“You have already lost me,” Nesta whispers coldly, knocking his hands away from her and taking a pointed step back. “I will never forgive you for this.”

“Nes…”

Before Cassian can finish his thought, those large wooden doors swing open again, Eleanor Archeron stalking through them. Cassian braces himself for her ire, for the cutting, choice words he’s sure she has for him, but her narrowed gaze isn’t pinned on him. It’s her daughter that she’s glaring daggers at.

“You insolent child,” Eleanor seethes, smacking the back of her hand hard across Nesta’s cheek.

Fire roars through Cassian’s veins, burning molten until his hands tighten into fists. He’s moving before he can even think twice about it, eyes glued to Nesta. To the way she has her face turned away, her hand cradling her cheek, a tear slipping free to slide down along her skin. He stalks closer and gently curls his fingers around Nesta’s wrist, tugging her behind him, placing himself firmly between her and her mother.

“I would appreciate it kindly if you did not put your hands on my wife.”

“She is not your wife yet, you filthy factory rat. I should have known when you were always sniffing around as a boy that you’d dare to lay your hands on my daughter. Not better than your disgusting father.”

“Mama,” Nesta starts to argue, but Cassian gives her wrist a gentle squeeze. There’s no reason for her to step into the firing line and certainly not for him.

“I’m staying with the Duke, Rhysand, while I’m in London, until the Bishop’s License arrives,” Cassian explains, keeping his voice calm, polite, refusing to rise to whatever bait Lady Archeron tries to dangle in front of him. “Nesta is of course welcome to stay there as well, until the wedding.”

“You truly are a fool if you think I’m going to let you whisk her away like that,” Eleanor snorts derisively, her fingers curling roughly around Nesta’s bicep and yanking her daughter to her. “She is still my daughter until the registry is signed.”

Cassian swallows hard and tries to calm the way his blood has started to simmer. “I’ll call on her—”

“You will not.”

The clear dismissal has a scoff tearing free from Cassian before he can squash it back down, but before he can argue, the doors to the nave swing back open. The Viscount comes striding out, his mother’s arm looped through his. Neither even looks in Nesta’s or Cassian’s direction, keeping their gaze straight ahead as they exit the church. If it weren’t for the way Tomas’s lips are pressed together, the way his brown eyes are darkened with clear annoyance, Cassian would almost say he looks the picture perfect of indifference.

“My lord,” Eleanor begins, her tone oozing with a courtier’s charm that Cassian has certainly never been on the other end of.

The Lady Mandray lets out a harrumph, the sound quiet but no less contemptuous, the only acknowledgement that she even heard Eleanor. Tomas and his mother continue down the front steps of the church and toward their carriage, the members of the wedding guest list there to support the would-be groom following behind them, each expression directed their way more judgemental than the next. It has Cassian taking an instinctual step to the side, blocking Nesta from those snide looks, shielding her.

He chances a glance over his shoulder, but it’s Eleanor’s gaze that meets his. With Tomas and his mother no longer looking, the placating smile has dropped from her face, that irritated scowl and glare returning and pinned right on Cassian. He can’t find it in himself to care for the look she’s settled him with, not when her hand is still curled around Nesta’s arm, fingers gripping tight enough that the skin has started to turn red.

Cassian opens his mouth to say something, but there’s more scuffling from the nave. He turns his head back around just as Elain and Feyre step into view, both of their faces still bewildered as their eyes dart between him, Nesta, and their mother. At least Feyre offers him a small, almost sympathetic smile.

“I’ll go get the carriage,” Elain offers quietly, rushing out of the church and tugging Feyre along with her.

“I’ll be sure to have a settlement drawn up for you to review and sign,” Nesta's father says, stepping out of the nave and over to Cassian, his face surprisingly impassive despite the day’s turn of events.

“Of course. Whatever terms are most favorable for Nesta,” Cassian agrees with a nod, earning a quizzical look in response from Lord Archeron.

“The carriage is ready,” Feyre declares, walking back up the church steps.

With her message delivered, Feyre turns on her heel and heads back down the steps, her parents side-stepping around Cassian to follow their daughter. It’s Nesta that takes up the rear of their party, her arms wrapped around herself even as she holds her shoulders back and her head up high. It’s a mask if Cassian’s ever seen one, and the sight sends a crack shattering clean through his chest.

“Nesta,” Cassian calls out to her, soft desperation and pain coloring his tone.

“Nesta,” her mother’s clipped voice cuts in.

Despite the clear order hidden in her mother’s request, Nesta’s steps do pause. She turns back to look at Cassian, and that crack in his chest explodes into a throbbing ache at the betrayal burning in her blue eyes, her lips pinched into a cool, hard line. She opens her mouth, words clearly poised and ready on the tip of her tongue, but then she merely shakes her head, turning away from Cassian and joining her family.

She leaves him standing there alone, nothing to do but watch her walk away from him, watch her leave. A lump presses in around his throat, his lungs burning and chest aching despite his attempts to swallow around it. He lets out sound somewhere between a scoff and a self-deprecating laugh, scrubbing a hand down his face and along his jaw. He tries to remind himself why he’s doing this, to remind himself that when it’s all said and done, it will have been worth it.

Even still, Cassian can’t help but tilt his head up, sending a silent prayer to the Mother and just hoping that he’s doing the right thing.

~ * * * ~

It takes a week before the Bishop’s License is finally signed and in Cassian’s hands. Unsurprisingly, Nesta’s family wants everything to move quickly and quietly. Cassian can’t say he minds. It means the sooner he can see her, can talk with her just the two of them privately. The sooner he can get the both of them out of London and away from all the prying eyes, the whispering gossip and judgemental looks of the ton, the better.

The Archerons are already waiting at the church when Cassian arrives with Rhys and Azriel. It’s Elain and Feyre, standing with their father, that greets him as he steps inside the atrium. Despite the fact there’s about to be a wedding, there’s a solemn air that clings inside the walls of the church, heavy and pressing in. Neither sister is smiling, even Feyre not quite able to meet his gaze. Instead, her attention is pinned to her right, lips tugged down in a frown.

Brows furrowing in confusion, Cassian turns his head, following Feyre’s gaze to where Nesta is standing with her mother. Eleanor has her head tipped down, practically right in Nesta’s face as she hisses something too quiet for Cassian to hear.

“Eleanor,” Lord Archeron calls out, drawing his wife’s attention.

Lady Archeron takes in Cassian standing there and straightens, striding over to her husband’s side. She doesn’t even acknowledge Cassian as she passes him, but he doesn’t miss the sneer still ever present on her face. It’s only when she realizes Rhys is standing behind him that her disdainful expression drops away, surprise taking over before that courtier smile returns.

“Your Grace,” Eleanor offers, dipping into a polite curtsy.

Rhys doesn’t say anything, merely dips his chin in a nod of acknowledgement, and Eleanor continues to her husband’s side. She slips her arm through Lord Archeron’s, and they head into the nave of the church, their daughters trailing behind him. Rhys claps his hand against Cassian’s shoulder and does the same, Azriel offering a small, sympathetic look as he too follows Rhys inside.

It leaves just Cassian and Nesta still standing in the atrium as they wait for their cue to walk down the aisle, for their lives to be forever bound together.

Nesta finally walks over to him, but she keeps her eyes downcast, seemingly glued to his kilt. The attention has him resetting his stance, has his hands reaching down to smooth out the fabric along his thighs. He rarely wore it when he was in school. He already heard enough from his peers, from the ton, about his family’s new money status. He hadn’t wanted to add fuel to their fires by flaunting his Scottish heritage too, practically handing over the insults and jabs on a silver platter. But now, with Nesta’s eyes on him, he finds himself more nervous than he ever was back then, his heart beginning to stutter between his ribs.

“After today, you’ll wear my colors too,” Cassian explains quietly.

The comment has Nesta’s gaze finally snapping to his, and Cassian’s heart squeezes tight enough it sends pain ricocheting through his chest. Even through the lacy fabric of her veil, Cassian can tell the way all the color seems to have leached out of her cheeks, the dark circles clinging to the skin beneath her eyes. And her eyes. Cassian doesn’t think he’s ever seen them so dull, more gray than blue and not even a hint of that spark he loves so much.

He takes a step closer to her, eyes sweeping over her accessingly. She’s wearing that same pale blue dress as her almost wedding to Tomas, but despite it only being a week, the fabric seems looser in places. Cassian has to swallow hard around a lump forming in his throat before he’s able to find his voice again.

“You look pale. Have you not been eating? Or sleeping?” Cassian asks gently, reaching a hand up beneath her veil to slide his knuckles against her cheek, but Nesta jerks her head away.

“Don’t touch me,” Nesta snaps, readjusting the veil draped over her face. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Cassian’s hand hangs in the space between them before he drops it back down to his side. The words are certainly a blow, but all Cassian cares about is that the fire has returned to Nesta’s eyes, the blue of them practically blazing up at him. He’ll take it. He doesn’t care if he’s on the other end of her ire, as long as he can keep stoking that fire, as long as he can finally make that lifeless expression vanish, as long as she gives him something.

So, Cassian scoffs and shakes his head. “Just what every gentleman wants to hear on his wedding day.”

“You brought this upon yourself. Or have you already forgotten your utter stupidity?”

“I wish you would just understand that I did this for you.”

“How dare you lie to me,” Nesta seethes, shoving him hard for extra good measure. “You did this for yourself, you selfish, insufferable idiot.”

“Careful, Nes,” Cassian taunts, catching her wrists and tugging her closer still while he dips his head down toward her. “Is that any way to speak to your soon-to-be husband?”

“I hate you.”

Cassian drops Nesta’s wrists and takes a step back from her at her words. For a moment, he swears he sees something flicker across her face, but she quickly turns her head away before he can begin to decipher it. Closing his eyes, Cassian takes a moment to breathe deeply. He holds out his arm for Nesta to take, and pointedly pushes down the hurt when she hesitates.

Arm in arm, they make their way through the church and to where the Rector is standing and waiting for them. The Rector has them turn to face one another and then the ceremony begins. Cassian can still see the exhaustion that clings to Nesta’s frame, but with the light spilling through the stained glass, she’s still the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, still takes his breath away. Still has his heart beating in time with her name, Nesta Nesta Nesta.

By the time Cassian is taking Nesta’s hand in his, sliding the band on her finger, his own is trembling. “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.”

Following the Rector’s instruction, Nesta takes Cassian’s hand in hers, sliding his own ring on as she repeats the same words. Something unlocks deep in Cassian’s chest, deep in his soul, in that moment. It’s a final piece falling into a place, a key turning in a lock, a golden thread binding them together just as surely as the rings on their fingers. It fills Cassian with warmth, with a sense of rightness, with a sense of home.

With the rings exchanged, Cassian and Nesta step forward to sign the parish registry. The wedding guests in attendance rise to do the same, but with so few of them, it doesn’t take particularly long. The ink has barely dried from Feyre signing her name before Eleanor is striding toward the doors to exit the church, shooting an expectant look over her shoulder to her youngest daughters.

“I’ll have the footmen move Mrs MacLeod’s trunk to your carriage,” she finally addresses Cassian. “I’m sure it’s quite the long journey back to Glasgow.”

Cassian has to grit his teeth, has to bite back and swallow down the harsh words he wants to fire back at her blatant dismissal. No longer is she Nesta, no longer her daughter, but Mrs MacLeod, the factory rat’s wife. And there would be no celebrating this fact, no wedding breakfast to honor the newly married couple. It has Cassian’s blood boiling, his fists clenching at his side until Nesta’s palm slides along his wrist. It’s the first contact she’s initiated, the touch soothing, but just as soon as it’s there, it’s gone again.

“Thank you, Mama,” Nesta offers politely.

Nesta side steps around Cassian, and he can do nothing but follow behind her, nothing but watch as her trunk is secured to his carriage, her whole life seemingly packed away in that one box. At least, Nesta’s sisters each give her a hug goodbye, but her mother still offers only contempt. It takes all of Cassian’s willpower to keep his face neutral, not to glare at the Lady Archeron, instead focusing on offering a hand and helping Nesta to step inside the carriage. He turns back to give a final nod to Rhys and Azriel, his chosen brothers offering a wave and a salute respectively, before Cassian steps inside and takes the seat opposite Nesta.

“Nesta,” Cassian begins once the carriage jerks into motion.

He reaches forward to take Nesta’s hands in his, but she flinches back, holding her hands close to her chest and turning her head to peer out the window, to watch as London fades away. Cassian sighs softly, dropping his hand to the skirts of her dress, his fingers curling against the fabric.

The rest of the carriage ride is painfully quiet, Nesta’s attention never straying from the carriage window. Cassian’s always loved her stubbornness, the way she never backs down from what she wants, but just once, Cassian wishes she would look at him. He wishes they could properly talk now that it’s just the two of them.

Hell, as the hours and miles continue to tick by, as the sun continues its stretching path across the sky, Cassian would give anything for Nesta to yell at him. To fight with him. For anything other than the suffocating silence. It chokes him from the inside out, his heart twisting and squeezing until he presses his free hand against his chest, rubbing like that will somehow alleviate the ache.

He feels like he’s going insane. After the first hour of stilted silence, Cassian had tried again to talk to her, to draw her attention back to him, but he’d only earned a quiet harrumph for his troubles. After the second hour, he had tried to tease her, tried to spark a reaction from her the way he had earlier, but he had even less success with that. It has Cassian wondering if Nesta really did mean it when she said she’d never forgive him. When she said she hated him.

By the time they're pulling into a coaching inn just outside of Birmingham, Cassian has never been more grateful. He clambers out of the carriage and takes a deep, heaving breath of the cool, evening air, relishing in what little soothing balm he can get. He turns back toward the carriage and holds out his hand in offering, but Nesta pointedly ignores it, stepping down on her own. She hikes up the skirts of her dress and strides forward toward the door of the inn without even a glance back, so Cassian tilts his head up toward the sky, sending a mental plea to the Mother for strength before he jogs after his wife.

“Should I expect silence for the rest of our marriage then?” Cassian mutters as he holds the door open for her.

That comment at least earns him a sharp look from Nesta before she walks through the door and inside the inn, Cassian stepping in behind her. He goes to speak with the landlord, who hands over the key and directs him up the stairs, and Cassian tries not to grimace at the fact they’ll only have the one room.

Thankfully, Nesta doesn’t say anything when Cassian unlocks the door for them to both step inside. Although, he half wonders after the hours of silence if a reaction would have been preferred. Instead, Nesta grabs the pitcher of water for their room and heads straight for the bathing chamber, closing the door behind her. With a soft huff, Cassian sits down on the bed, taking the time to peel his boots off and toss them aside. He rests his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. The exhaustion of the day’s travel, of the past few weeks, burrows beneath his skin, carving space into his bones until he feels completely weighed down by it.

The soft snick of a door opening has Cassian practically leaping to his feet. He whips around just as Nesta steps back into the room, dressed now in only her shift. For a moment, Cassian is struck dumb. She’s wearing her hair down, the soft, golden brown waves falling around her shoulders and down her back. His fingers twitch at his sides with the urge to run through those strands, to tangle there as he holds her close. She’s beautiful, just like this, hair down, the faintest dusting of pink smattered high on her cheekbones.

“Where do you want me?” Nesta asks, fidgeting almost nervously with the cotton fabric of her shift.

“What?” Cassian somehow chokes out, shaking himself out of his staring.

“I presume on the bed. Perhaps a better question would be how do you want me?”

Cassian blinks a few times, his mind finally following what she’s asking. “Nes…”

Nesta lets out a frustrated huff, crossing her arms across her chest. “I’m not one of those simpering girls. I know what happens on a wedding night.”

“Do you still hate me?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Because I won’t touch you until you ask me to, until you want me to.”

“You’ll be waiting forever then.”

“I suppose I will,” Cassian shrugs, grabbing one of the pillows and tossing it to the floor at the foot of the bed, intent on sleeping on the floor.

“That makes our marriage a sham then. I’ll go back to London and tell all of society.”

Cassian doesn’t bother biting back his taunting smirk as he lifts his attention back to her. “Did you forget that they already think I’ve had you? Everyone knows and believes that. But go ahead and try.”

That fire is a full blaze in Nesta’s eyes now, her mouth twisting into a scowl. She storms over to the bed, and Cassian half wonders if she intends to clamber over the mattress just to get to him, just to shove him and sink her claws into his chest. But she merely stops on the other side, hands clenched into fists at her side as she continues to glare at him.

“You’ll never have heirs.”

Cassian laughs dryly, cocking his head. “You think I care about that?”

“All men care about that.”

“I guess I’m not like most men, sweetheart.”

Nesta rolls her eyes at that, her tone dripping with derision when she says, “what do you care about then?”

“You,” Cassian practically shouts. “Haven’t you figured that out yet? I care about you, unlike that man you were going to marry before I stepped in.”

“Stop doing that. Stop speaking to me as if I’m stupid. As if I did not know exactly the type of man Tomas Mandray is.”

“Yet you were going to marry him anyways? What, better to marry a cruel man with a title than some factory brute?”

The silence hangs in the air between them, clearly answer enough. Cassian tries not to let it sting, but his chest already feels cut and splayed open, his nerve endings already raw and exposed. He swallows hard and turns away from her, extinguishing the candle and plunging the room into darkness. He settles down onto the floor, knocking his fist against his pillow for extra good measure, but the gesture doesn’t help the cold ache that gnaws at him the way he had hoped.

“Cassian…”

“Go to sleep, Nesta.”

—

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[tsunami-of-tears]

A Court of Shadows and Sunshine — Part Five

Azriel x Aurora (OC)

Summary: The batboys (and everyone else) learn of Azriel’s mate. We start to learn more about Aurora’s past as she opens up to her new female friends. The IC throw a party for Rhys’s birthday.

A/N: As a fairly new writer, I cannot express the amount of dopamine I get from every single interaction. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: General mental health issues, allusions to previous trauma (SA, no detail given), alcohol consumption/abuse, SH (harassment - described)

Part Four

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧

Azriel

“Brother, when were you planning on telling us about your lovely mate?” Rhysand’s eyes glimmer mischievously. 

Azriel is shocked by the question, he hadn’t let himself believe it could be true. “How do you…” He hesitates. “Wait is this the urgent matter? Are you kidding me, I thought I was going to have to run off again.” Azriel expels a breath and runs a hand through his hair. “How can you tell?” he asks softly, without looking up to meet either brother’s eyes. 

“For a spymaster, you’re not very good at hiding your emotions,” Cassian jests. Azriel frowns at the comment and Cassian scoffs. “Do you think I don’t notice you shooting daggers with your eyes every time she touches me?” He laughs and pulls Azriel into a hug. “We’re all happy for you, she’s really special.”

When they break from the hug, Azriel touches the centre of his chest with his palm, staring off in between the two males. “I never thought I’d get a mate.” Azriel glances down at his scarred hands. “It could be a mistake. She’s so lovely, and bright, and I’m the total opposite. It can’t possibly-”

Rhys interrupts Azriel, placing both hands on his shoulders. “Az, stop. You are kind, and loyal, anyone would be lucky to be your mate.”  

“Do you think she knows?” Azriel turns inward, grasping for the bond. The thread is glowing the same gold as her power. He gives it a slight tug, hoping for a response. 

Azriel feels the sobs reverberating down the bond. He tries to get out of Rhys’s grasp, but he holds him firm. Azriel lets out a warning growl. 

Cassian is the one to speak, “Nesta said not to come out yet. Aurora, she uh, she’s upset. They are taking her upstairs.”

Dejected, Azriel slumps into one of the armchairs. He knows his mate is safe with her friend, though he wishes he could be the one to offer her comfort. 

Azriel’s mind wanders, what darkness could be plaguing Aurora? Maybe she was more like him than he thought. 

————

Aurora

You’ve always been different. 

You figured out at an early age how to hide it. You learnt the behaviour expected of you - the ‘correct’ body language, how to keep eye contact, how to perform the ridiculous small talk. You have a catalogue of scripts in your mind so you don’t slip up your words. 

Yesterday, that mask dropped. 

You awake in an unfamiliar room, in clothes that aren’t yours. In the dim light, the events of the previous night flood into your mind. 

You rise from the bed with a sigh. Your entire body hurts, your mouth is dry and you have a throbbing headache. Feeling embarrassed, you swiftly change into your own clothes and make the bed. You’ve been enough of a burden so far, you hope that you can slip out undetected. 

Tiptoeing down the stairs, you can hear soft chatter and clinking cutlery coming from the kitchen. When you reach the bottom, the chattering comes to a stop.

You’re met in the hallway by a smiling Feyre, still in her dressing gown. 

“Good morning, Aurora. I hope you slept well. We’re having breakfast, would you like to come join us?”

Not wanting to be rude, you nod and follow the High Lady into the kitchen. 

Warm sunlight streams through the large windows, highlighting the room in a bright glow. Mor and Rhys are sitting at a round table, Mor is cuddling baby Nyx. 

Feyre takes your hand and leads you to the table. You take a seat next to Mor, facing out towards the garden. Feyre picks up Nyx and slips into a seat next to you. 

Rhys gives you a warm smile, “Did you sleep well?”

You try to speak but your mouth can’t form the words. You nod in response, cringing internally. 

Feyre puts her hand on your arm in a comforting gesture. 

Rhys speaks again, but this time into your mind. “If it’s easier for you, we can communicate like this. Just think what you want to say.”

‘Thank you, this helps. I am sorry for my… behaviour.’

“It’s okay, I understand. My sister, Vespera, was like you.”

Your eyes snap to Rhys at that comment. You’ve never met anyone else like you. He nods and gives you a sad smile. 

“It’s very uncommon, there’s not a name for it, but you aren’t the only one.” You feel a mix of shock and relief. There is no judgement for the way you are. 

“This is a safe space, Aurora,” Rhys says out loud. 

‘Home. It’s home.’ You meet Rhys’s violet eyes and know he heard you.

————

After a quiet breakfast, Mor walks you out. You can winnow, but love walking around Velaris so much, and it helps to process your thoughts and regulate your emotions. 

An icy blast of wind hits your face, the turbulent weather mimicking your internal turmoil. 

Mor gives you a tight hug. Pulling back, her hands are on your shoulders as she asks, “Are you going to be okay, Rory?”

“Yeah, I will be. I know I don’t say it enough but I’m really grateful for you, Mor. I don’t know that I can ever repay all that you’ve done for me.

“Oh Rory, I’d do it all again. After everything you’ve been through, it’s understandable that you have walls up. I’m really glad they are starting to come down.”

Mor pulls you in for another parting hug, and she waves to you as you walk away from the house. 

————

The following day you’re back in the studio, catching up on some paperwork when the door opens. You look up from your work to see your friend, Nesta, standing there. 

“Hey Aurora, I’m heading to the bookstore. I was wondering if you’d like to join me?” She asks. 

“I’d love to,” you flash Nesta a smile, you’re quite happy to take a break from your work.

The pair of you walk in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds made by your feet on the pavement and the leaves rustling in the trees.

Nesta finally speaks, turning to you, ‘Rory, if there’s anything you want to talk about, I’m always here to listen.’

“Thank you. I’ve, um, always been quiet and… I struggle to open up to people.”

Nesta laughs, “You and me both. I don’t think quiet is the right word though, you’re practically mute,” she teases.

Grateful to your friend for lightening the mood, you jest back, “Unlike most people, I don’t feel the need to make noise for the sake of it.” You both laugh out loud, linking arms as you continue to walk down the street. 

“I’m going to tell Cas that you said that.”

After your shopping trip, you head to the River House to meet with Feyre and Mor. 

————

Curled on the lounge with a mug of tea, surrounded by your friends, you feel content. You’re quite happy to sit and listen to their tales, enjoying a glimpse into their lives. 

Mor mentions that she is travelling again soon for missionary work on the continent. You nod in acknowledgement as she rattles off the territories and cities she’s to visit, having seen most of them yourself with your father. 

Feyre chimes in, “Rory, you’re from the continent, aren’t you? Do you miss it at all?”

You shudder at the comment, thinking of your birthplace. “Gods no. You know who they sided with in the wars. Most of the lords still hold onto their old values. Anyone that isn’t a fae male is considered less than.”

Mor winces, knowing exactly what it’s like to grow up in such a place. 

“I do miss my family, but I do not miss Vallahan. It never really felt like home, I didn’t fit in there.”

After a moment of silence, Nesta asks, “Where did you learn about yoga?”

You smile softly, recalling the old spiritual leader you had the privilege of training with. “I was introduced to the practice in the mortal lands of the continent while travelling with my father. I studied under the Grand Monk for a few months, though I didn’t know at the time it would give me so much purpose.” You wrap your arms around yourself as you relay your memories to your friends. You don’t often allow yourself to reminisce about your travels.

“So you’ve travelled a lot then, huh?” Nesta asks. 

“Yes.” You pause, considering the best words to explain your tumultuous past. You release a deep sigh before speaking again. “My father refused to leave me alone in our homeland. Even travelling, it was safer with him.” Mor, sitting beside you, puts her hand on your forearm in a comforting gesture. The action says more than words ever could, you can feel the empathy, support, and a hint of female rage in the touch of her palm. 

You force yourself to look in her eyes as you grab her hand and give it a squeeze. Expressing everything in your heart. Mor may not have mind-reading abilities like Rhysand, but you know that she understands. 

After the serious moment, you sit quietly as the females keep chatting. 

Feyre turns back to you, “We’re throwing a party for Rhys’s birthday next week.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” you reply. “I hope you have fun.”

Feyre bites her lip to keep from smiling at you. “Rory, that was an invitation.”

“Oh…” You cover your face in embarrassment but laugh through your hands. “In that case, I’d love to come, thank you for inviting me.”

Nesta claps as Mor cheers, “It’s going to be so much fun!”

————

Azriel

Azriel lets himself into the River House, the last of the Inner Circle to show up for family dinner. Rhys and Amren are in the large armchairs going over some papers, always working. Cassian, Mor and Nesta and sitting together on the big lounge, playing some kind of drinking game. 

At his arrival, Feyre comes to Azriel’s side. “You just missed her.”

Before Azriel can say anything in response, Mor is at his other side, flashing a wicked grin, “He’s a spy, he did it on purpose.”

Looking around the room at all his friend’s faces, everyone is sporting a similar smirk.

“Gods, do you all know?” Azriel exclaims, already knowing the answer. 

Mor just laughs, grabbing Azriel’s hand and pulling him to sit with the group on the other lounge across from Nesta and Cassian. 

Feyre plops down next to her sister. “You should know Cas can’t keep his mouth shut.”

Azriel sighs and shakes his head. He’s not really mad at his brother, he knows it’s all done with love. 

Nesta sits forward, grinning from ear to ear. “I have to tell you what Aurora said today.”

Everyone, including Rhys and Amren, looks on in anticipation as she pauses for dramatic effect. 

“She said, unlike some people, meaning Cassian, I don’t feel the need to make noise just for the sake of it.” Nesta grins even wider and gives Cassian a pat on the shoulder. His mouth gapes in surprise but his eyes glint with amusement.

“Well, she’s not wrong.” Rhys shrugs. 

“I think like this girl,” Amren states before taking a sip of her wine.

Azriel chuckles, imagining Aurora’s eyes going wide with the hint of mischief that she usually keeps hidden. His cheeks flush at the thought of her. 

“Awwww look at him.” Mor pinches Azriel’s cheek, causing him to scowl. 

“Busybodies, the lot of you.” Azriel mutters. 

“Aurora said she’d come to your birthday, Rhys.” Feyre says, moving to sit on her mate’s lap. “She actually didn’t realise I was inviting her at first.”

Rhys reaches up to tuck a strand of Feyre’s hair behind her ear. “She’s so much like Vespera.” Rhys turns to look at Mor and Azriel. “Do you remember how difficult she found social things?” Mor nods in response. 

“Vespera was always very naive though,” Cassian says. 

“Age does play into it, but they are cut from the same cloth.” Rhys responds. 

Azriel’s hands ball into a fist as he tries to quell his growing anger. His wings flare protectively at the thought of someone, another male, taking advantage of his mate, harming her in any way. 

Azriel lets out a warning growl as he feels hands wrapping over his fist. Mor forces him to look at her, “Hey, she’s safe. It’s okay.” Azriel replies with a curt nod, he can’t fully shake the feeling of dread.

————

The day of Rhys’s party was here, and Azriel couldn’t wait to see Aurora again. 

He had seen her at training earlier that week, but the interactions were brief and he didn’t mention the bond. He got no hints from Aurora whether she felt it too. 

Cassian and Azriel sat in the kitchen as everyone else was getting ready, Aurora was upstairs with Mor and Nesta. Azriel’s shadows were in a flurry around him, both excited and nervous for the night ahead. 

Cassian gave Azriel’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze as they waited for their friends and mates. 

It wasn’t long before everyone joined them. Mor first, looking glamorous as always. Followed by Nesta, who was swiftly picked up and twirled around by Cassian. Then Feyre and Rhys, arms linked. 

Finally, Aurora entered the room. When Azriel laid eyes on her, he felt the world stop. Everyone else in the room faded into the walls. He no longer needed air, or water, just her. 

Azriel sucked in a breath as she moved closer to him. He slowly took in everything - her sparkling dress, the way she moved, her intoxicating scent - until his eyes landed on the delicate pendant gracing her neck, and the stone in the center.

It was cobalt blue.

He looked at her face and Aurora peered back from underneath her thick lashes. Despite wearing heels she was still much smaller than him.

“You look beautiful.” Azriel whispers.

Aurora’s cheeks flush a pretty shade of pink and she bites her lip. “Thank you. You look handsome too.” Her hand moves up to her necklace, fidgeting with the blue stone. 

Both their heads whip to the side at the sound of a male cough. Azriel suddenly remembers they aren’t alone in the room. 

Mor links arms with Aurora, “Come on, let’s get a drink.” Mor says, winking at Azriel as she walks past.  

————

Aurora

It didn’t take long for you to remember why you usually avoid parties.

The incessant chatter and raucous laughter, the clinking sounds of glasses, blaring music that you can feel pulsing in your chest - it all blends together into an awful roar, making it very hard to distinguish the words being spoken to you. 

Drinking helps make it more manageable. It helps you to cope better with the extra noise. It also gives you a nice little confidence boost that makes conversing easier. That is until you push it too far like you have done tonight. 

You try to avoid drinking for this exact reason. You don’t know when to stop. When you’re having a good time, it’s so easy to keep going, to keep pushing until you’re too far gone and there’s nothing you can do but sleep it off. 

You’re not quite at the passing out stage, but you’re certainly not far from it. 

You excuse yourself to get a drink of water and step into the kitchen. The noises are muffled through the walls, so you take the time to have a quiet minute of solitude before braving the party again. 

You lean against the counter, bracing yourself as you wobble in your heels. You had cursed at Mor when she suggested them, but you couldn’t fault her - they did make your legs look incredible. 

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing in here by herself?” A deep voice asks from behind.

You tense, turning to face the male. Despite being intoxicated, you still retain a semblance of control. “Have we met?” You ask the stranger. 

“We have now.” He purrs, stepping closer to you. Trying to maintain the distance, you press your back into the counter. “My name’s Edward, what’s yours?”

“Aurora.” You say flatly, as you slide to the right along the counter to avoid getting pinned where you stand. 

Before you can move too far away, Edward grabs your wrist. “Don’t go, I just want to get to know you,” he slurs, however, the look in his eyes tells you he’s not interested in talking.

Your heart thunders in your ears and everything slows down. You only have a moment to decide your next move. Cursing your heels, you yank your arm away and bolt. Your legs carry you much faster than they should, considering the volume of liquor you’ve ingested, but you fly down the hallway until you hit a wall.

No - not a wall, solid muscle. Two strong hands grab your shoulders and steady you. Azriel. 

A wave of relief washes over you and you fall into his chest. His arms wrap around you, holding you firmly.

“Hey, what happened?” He asks, stroking your hair. You bury your face in his shirt and shake your head. 

Azriel lifts you up with ease and carries you outside to a private balcony, away from the party and any prying eyes. 

He sets you down gently and takes a step back from you. His brows are furrowed in concern. 

Your whole body is shaking now, your heart rate has eased slightly but you can still feel the adrenaline coursing through you. You turn away from Azriel, wrap your arms around yourself and crouch on the floor, trying to make yourself as small as possible. 

Azriel kneels down beside you, placing a comforting hand on your back. “I’m here, you’re okay. Just breathe for me.” You listen and take deep breaths until your body stills. 

You tilt your head up to look at Azriel and admit, “I’m sick of being a timid, little mouse. I want to be able to stick up for myself.”

You rise, pulling Azriel to stand with you, “Teach me.”

“Uh, wha-” He stutters.

“Teach me how to fight back. I don’t want to be the prey anymore. I want to be the hunter.”

Azriel’s thumb grazes over your cheek, “Okay, I’ll teach you.”

Part Six

[rosecoballoway]

HOFAS Spoilers

So here’s my entire thought process on the newest Crescent City book and kinda the series as a whole.

Bryce’s character was kind of unbearable? Like I don’t dislike and at the beginning of the book I understand her not trusting the IC. Like I know every loves them and stuff but like they’re not the good guys. The Archeron sisters are the only ones who actually care about others; the rest literally only care about themselves and the people of Velaris, with the exception of Cassian who also cares about the Illyrians. But yeah, the IC aren’t the good guys and Rhys would have probably just killed her if she had told them the truth at the very start. But her entire anti-fae thing was horrible. Like girl you hate how they are so just change it? They’ve had a bigoted asshole as their leader for a billion years of course they’re following his lead? You now have the power and authority to change it so do it? Also the further I got into the book the happier I was that Aelin wasn’t showing up because you can’t tell me that Aelin, who loves the fae, would have been cool with Bryce the second she started spewing how much she hates the fae. Also her bitching about Hunt not acting like he wanted to be there. Like bitch he doesn’t? He said multiple times in the last book that he doesn’t want anything to do with it but then he went along with it, for her, and ended up being tortured for it. Like I wouldn’t want to be there either. I’m very on the fence with her just in general because she comes up with some really smart plans but she’s honestly just one of the dumbest characters like how? Like in the second book when she went around throwing around the whole Princess Bryce Danaan and then was surprised when she was actually expected to abide by the responsibilities that having that title comes with? And that her friend was angry when all of her hard work was thrown away because her royal friend got her a promotion by waving around her royal status? like i just feel like this series has the actual dumbest characters. Access to modern stuff has killed their braincells.

Also, do I think Rhys was justified in his anger? Yes. Do I think he overreacted? Also yes. I understand that he has a mate, and a child, and they’re at peace (except not really because they still have Koschei to deal with) but he needs to trust Nesta more. Like she made a gamble and it worked out. He could have waited until afterwards to be mad about it if it didn’t work out. Besides, the Dread Trove is hers. It answers to her so she can do what she pleases with it. “Oh she sent it into the world of their enemies” as opposed to what? Keeping it in their world where *gasp* they still have enemies? Like calm tf down. Even if the Asteri had gone over, Rhysand- the most powerful high lord in history- and Nesta- lady death who wields a sword that can kill the inkillable- would have been able to handle it. Besides, Feyre would have made the same choice. You know why? Because she’s always made the choice to help others. And if it had been Feyre making that choice then Rhys would have been fine with it.

Also, I feel like these last two books were supposed to make us feel bad for Tharion but it didnt? like the dude wanted to be a fuckboy and betrothed himself to a princess just so he could take her virginity and then we're supposed to feel bad for him because he's expected to uphold his end of the arrangement? like no

Also i feel like the whole lost Fendyr heir was pointless. like it just didnt do anything? we're intoduced to this character just so she can be killed off before we're even half way through the book and then the rest of the book was Ithan just running in circle trying to fix it but then just being like well that didnt work lets try something else. like Sarah could have done something else for his character that led to him being prime.

Lidia, of course, was amazing. Everything with her was fantastic and she was honestly my favorite part of the book. I was overjoyed when it was revealed that she's a descendant of Brannon's and that shes a distant relative to Aelin (Dorian too).

[shedoessoshedoes]

Amazing Day

hi hi hi!!! guess who's back back again with her first ever PART TWO of a fic! Part one (Behind their Backs) can be found here :) I tried so very hard to make this fit the Elriel month prompts so um, I was able to throw in the word 'knife' once! but that's okay because i am very happy with how this fluffy piece came out, and I hope you like it, too. Let me know what you think!!

wc: 2,830

tw: tiny tiny bit of nsfw, FLUFF, language

tagging: @justheretoreadsposts @danydragons21 @fawnandshadows

It was Tuesday, and Elain was regretting saying yes to Feyre’s dinner invitation. 

It had been three days since Azriel had asked her to marry him, and the weekend (and Monday and Tuesday since they’d called in sick to work) had been nothing short of domestic bliss. They’d gone out for breakfast on Sunday, and then come home and lazed around for the next 72 hours, ordering takeout, watching Schitt’s Creek, talking about their new wedding plans, and, if she was being honest, having lots of sex. 

So. No complaints there. 

But an hour ago, Az had pulled her out of bed and into the shower, claiming that they had told Feyre and Rhys they’d be at their house for dinner at 7, so now Elain was standing in front of her mirror, getting ready. 

She’d pulled on a flowy cobalt colored dress, and was watching Az in the mirror as he pulled on a pair of black pants and a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and fuck if he didn’t look good. 

He looks up to meet her heated gaze in the reflection and laughs. “What, El, you see something you like?” 

“I mean, I did agree to marry you, so I would think you know I think you’re attractive at this point,” she shoots back. 

Az smiles again, looking down. “I’m so excited to be married to you.” 

Elain smiles over her shoulder at him. “I know. I am, too.” She twists back towards the mirror, pulling her hair over one shoulder as she reaches towards the dresser for a necklace. “But first, we do have to tell everyone that we’ve been dating for two years without them knowing.” 

Azriel raises his eyebrows in agreement, taking the necklace off the jewelry stand before she can and moving to stand behind her. “This one?” he asks, holding it up in the mirror. 

She nods. “Put it on me?” 

He takes a damn long time fastening the clasp, and then wraps his arms around her waist. “I’m wondering how they’re all going to react. If any of them has guessed, it’s Nesta, because she can read us both so well. I can’t imagine Cass is paying attention to anyone but her while we’re together, so he’ll be shocked.” 

Elain laughs, wrapping her arms over his, her ring on full display. “Rhys will be pissed, Amren will say ‘Good for you,’ and move on, Mor will freak out, and Feyre will just give everyone so many hugs.”  

“And then we’ll tell her Rhys is the reason why we haven’t told anyone we were dating and she’ll yell at him.” 

“We know them well. Bet you ten bucks Rhys calls her ‘Feyre darling’ while he’s trying to explain.” 

He buries his head in her neck and smiles. They both had always hated that nickname, and made fun of Rhys in private whenever he used it in attempts to make Feyre go molten for him in public, especially when he was trying to apologize for something. “Deal.” Az kisses Elain’s neck once, twice, and then pulls her by the hand away from the mirror and out the door. 

They turn on music in the car and Elain laughs when “For the Longest Time” comes on and proceeds to sing the entire song to him. Azriel keeps his hand in hers and kisses her ring when they come around the last turn to Feyre and Rhys’s house. 

“Ready?” he asks. 

“Yep. I’m not saying anything about my ring. I’m waiting for them to see it.” 

He laughs.  “I can’t believe you think they aren’t going to notice it right when we walk in. You’re sure you want me to act like we’re engaged until they notice? Because I would really like to just walk in and kiss you and see what they do.” 

“No. We’re waiting. We’ve waited for two years; you can wait another hour to kiss me in front of them.”

He groans but gets out of the car. As they’re walking towards the door, he whispers, “I love you,” so quietly she barely hears it. 

They go up to knock on the door, and just before they do, Elain twists towards him and says, “I, for one, am very excited to get home after this. We didn’t get to do everything I wanted this weekend,” brushing a hand over him before pivoting back towards the door and knocking. 

Azriel groans again. “You’re actually going to kill me, fianceé.” 

Elain grins as Feyre opens the door. “Hello!” 

They both come inside as Feyre goes to hug Elain, and Elain winks at Az over Feyre’s shoulder. So far, no notice. Cassian’s coming up the driveway, so Feyre’s distracted as Az and Elain go towards the living room. He gives her a heated glance before going over to sit by Rhys as Elain moves to sit on the other side of the room in between Nesta and Mor. 

Mor comments on how cute it is that they’re such good friends that they come together to dinners like these, and Elain has to hold in a laugh. Rhys gets them both drinks, and even though Elain reaches for hers with her left hand, no one seems to notice the sparkling ring sitting there. 

Azriel gets pulled into a conversation about soccer with his brothers, and Elain flits over to the kitchen to help finish dinner. She makes the plate of rosemary potatoes, and when she goes to move them over to the table, Azriel is suddenly there, holding his hands out. “I got it,” he tells her, taking the dish from her as Feyre gives them both a strange look at the charged glance that seems to connect them. 

He places it on the table, and she’s so caught off guard by the interaction that she runs back to the kitchen. There’s a breathless smile on her face, and she buries her face in her hands. After tonight, if her oblivious family will ever notice her ring, he can do things like that for her all the time. He can hold her hand in front of everyone, and kiss her, and she can call him fiancé, and they can tell Rhys to go fuck himself for trying to tell them to stay away from each other. She’s so, so happy. Every pain that came with keeping this secret has been worth it if she feels this happy now. 

From the other room, she hears Azriel telling everyone to wait for her before they eat, and another breathless laugh escapes her. He’s telling them to wait. He’s telling them to wait because his fianceé hasn’t sat down yet, and he’s going to wait for her. He’s actually perfect. Fuck, she loves him. 

She moves back to the dining room quickly, taking her seat next to Az. “You didn’t have to wait, I’m fine,” she tells them, reaching for the plate of food in front of her as everyone else starts to eat. Az puts a hand on her knee under the table and squeezes. 

Cassian’s sitting across from her, and as she reaches out to pick up the plate, he seems to notice her ring. “Elain, that’s pretty,” he tells her, gesturing to her hand. “Is it new?” 

Elain laughs, a joyful, grateful sound. “Yeah, it is, actually. I got it this weekend. I didn’t think you of all people would notice!” 

Mor leans over to see, and Elain gives her her hand to examine. El sees the moment of realization and Mor looks back up at her. “Elain, you know–this is on your ring finger?” 

Feyre almost spits out her wine. “On your left hand?” 

Nesta’s trying to see from across the table. Amren’s still eating. Rhys looks utterly confused, and Cassian doesn’t seem to know what his comment has started. Az has a small smile on his face, a thing of secret, lovely, beauty. 

“Elain, you didn’t get engaged without telling us you were dating anyone, did you?” Rhys asks slowly. 

Amren snorts into her wine. “Good for you, girl.” 

Nesta whips her head to Azriel, seeing his smile and immediately knowing what it means. “I knew it.” 

“Knew what, Nes?” Cassian. 

“Knew that he loved her! Come on, you ignorant brute, you’ve never seen him looking at her?” 

Elain props her head up on one hand, her fingers covering her growing smile as she steals a look at Az. He’s looking at her too, stretched back in his chair, one arm reaching behind his head. 

“Oh, shut up, shut up, shut all the way up,” Feyre doesn’t look like she believes what’s going on. “You’re engaged to–to her?” 

“I feel like I should take offense to your complete doubt in me, Feyre,” Az drawls, tossing an arm casually over Elain’s shoulder as she leans back into him, drawing a round of shrieks from their family members. 

“I thought you liked her,” Nesta starts, “but–engaged? Have you even dated?”

Elain laughs lightly. “Yeah. We’ve been dating for two years, actually,” she says, twisting her head up to look at Az. 

The entire table flips out again, everyone yelling over one another in an effort to get their words out. Cassian’s standing up now, coming over to tackle Az in a hug, and Mor’s asking Elain for details, Feyre asking how they got together in the first place, and Nesta’s giving Elain a hug, whispering “I knew he liked you,” into her ear, and Elain’s close to crying she’s so happy. Rhys looks stunned. Amren’s continuing to eat her dinner. 

Az pulls forcibly away from Cassian’s hug to grab Elain and kiss her. Hard. One arm around her waist and another at the back of her head, he dips her as he does, and her arms come up to hang around his neck. Yet another round of cheers come up, and continue even after they break apart. Az presses his forehead to Elain’s, and whispers “I love you,” to her once again. 

“Wait, wait, wait, Elain, show us your ring!” Feyre’s request cuts through the noise, and Az wraps an arm around her as she shows it off. A round of gasps comes up from the girls, and Cassian slaps Az on the back. 

When the cheers finally calm down enough, Nesta finally cuts in with the question Elain was waiting for. “Hang on, if you’ve been dating for two years, how come you never told any of us? I get wanting to keep it a secret right at the beginning, but two years–you have to be close to living together at this point.” 

Az and Elain share a look, and Az is the one to speak. “When Rhys started dating Feyre, he–” Az breaks off, looking down at Elain for reassurance. She nods, and he takes a deep breath. “He told Cassian and I we couldn’t date Elain or Nesta because he didn’t want any relationship drama or awkwardness if anything happened to…not work out.” 

Feyre and Mor are gaping. Rhys, at least has the gall to look embarrassed. Nesta has turned towards Cassian and is backing him towards the wall. “You never asked me out because of that?” she questions, lowly, slowly. “You knew I would say yes, even though I’m a bitch to you, but you didn’t because your stupid brother? How much of an idiot–” Cassian grabs her and cuts her off with a kiss. 

“I’m sorry, Nesta. I’m so, so sorry. Go out with me. Please, Nes, go out with me, let me make it up to you.” Nesta rolls her eyes at his desperation, but kisses him again, and the rest of the group cheers again, even as Feyre turns on Rhys. 

“You–” she runs her hands over her face. “Rhys, what gave you the right to tell them who they could and couldn’t date? In what world is that okay? To take that choice away from them? I love you,  I’m so happy to be with you, but what gives you the right to take that chance at happiness away from them?” 

He sighs. “I don’t–I just didn’t want anyone to ruin what we had, Feyre darling,” Elain elbows Az while keeping a straight face and he stifles a laugh. “I saw that Cass and Az seemed to like Nesta and Elain, and I didn’t want anyone feeling uncomfortable if it was just a sex thing, or if it didn’t work out…” Feyre continues to glare and Rhys turns to Az and Elain, Cassian and Nesta (who are still kissing), and says, sincerely, “I’m sorry.” 

Elain nods, and tucks herself further into Azriel’s side. He pulls her close, and kisses the top of her head. Cassian has stopped kissing Nesta and is beginning telling everyone that they need to head out. Elain smiles, glad that her sister will be able to share in the happiness that comes with being with someone she loves. 

Feyre says, slowly, as though containing her anger: “I think maybe it would be best if you all went home for right now. Elain, Az, I’m sure you want to get home to celebrate–” Elain tries to cut in to remind her sister that they did get engaged three days ago, but Feyre keeps talking. “And Cassian and Nesta are already gone, and Mor, you said you have to be up early tomorrow, and Amren you should bring her home, I don’t know how much she’s had to drink.”  

They all nod, choosing not to comment on Feyre’s obvious excuses, and go quickly to gather their things, leaving Feyre and Rhys to hash out what’s bound to be an argument alone. Elain gives Feyre a hug and her sister whispers an apology in her ear. Elain shakes her head. “We got to where we are now even with him telling Az that. It wasn’t right, but we’re all okay.” Feyre nods, tears in her eyes, and lets Elain go. 

As they make their way back out to the car, Azriel wraps an arm around Elain and kisses her cheek. “All things considered, I think that went well.” 

She laughs. “And I don’t think we’ll see Cassian or Nesta for at least a week, so at least that finally happened.” 

Az opens her door for her, and she slides in, plugging in her phone to her playlist as he comes around the other side of the car. Elain turns on the song she wants and rests her head on the back of the seat. Azriel pulls out of the driveway and onto the road, one hand resting on her thigh. 

The music drifts through the car, and just as they’re pulling into Az’s apartment complex (they’ve decided that’s where they’re going to live), the song switches over to Coldplay’s “Amazing Day.” 

“I was thinking,” Elain says as he pulls into a parking spot, “this could be a good wedding song. It seems to fit us, you know? ‘You showed me a place where we can be what we are.’”

He considers, listening, and a small smile grows as the song reaches its chorus. “Yeah. Yes. I like it. It’s right. Like we said, it’s just us.”

Elain offers him a soft smile before kissing him on the cheek and opening her car door to get out. “Well, if we’re going to use this song, we should practice dancing. To get ready.” 

Azriel follows her to the stairs opening the door for her. “If we’re practicing dancing to get ready for our wedding night, I can think of a few other things we should practice, too.” 

Elain swats at his arm before starting up the stairs to his apartment, hiding the grin on her face. They make their way into the apartment together, and it suddenly hits her that this place is theirs, that next month she’ll give up her lease, and that now she finally gets to build a complete life with this man that she loves so much. She turns suddenly, and backs him up against the door, kissing him hard. “Thank you,” she says. “Again. For choosing me.” 

He kisses her neck softly before grabbing her hand and leading her to their bedroom. “Oh, El. There was never any competition. It was always going to be you, from the moment we met and you were so nervous you were clutching your fork and knife like they were weapons.” 

She giggles and pulls him down onto the bed. Kissing him again and again and again. This time, as they come together, they don’t need any words. It’s slow, and sweet, and full of this love between them, this love that keeps growing with every day they have together. He pulls her onto his chest afterwards, kissing her head, and Elain sighs happily. “Forever, Az. We get to do this forever.” 

She looks up to see him smile, his eyes closed, even as he pulls her closer. “Forever, El,” he says back. “Forever.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yay!! thank you so much for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments and constrictive criticism is always welcome. My asks are open: let me know what you want me to write!!

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twenty-Seven

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: working a full time job + part time job tutoring english + applying for scholarships + still having free time left is a lot harder than i thought it would be. which is my way of saying this chapter should've been done a week ago lol.

i call this my goodbye chapter b/c goodbyes are made.

***

As Nesta brings the last of her things into the cabin, Azriel takes the last of his stuff out.

Standing beside Cassian, Nesta watches Azriel shut the trunk over the final box of his belongings. With all the extra stuff he stole from the cabin, it almost seemed like everything wouldn’t fit into his tiny car, but here he is. Ready to go.

He dusts off his leather jacket and approaches her and Cassian. “This is goodbye,” he says, coming to a stop before them.

Nesta once thought this would be the happiest day of her life, second to her wedding day. She should have predicted that her rightful joy would be extinguished by sentimentality.

Cassian claps Azriel on the shoulder, the two brothers having already said their goodbyes in private. Still, Nesta can see a little sorrow in Cassian’s eyes, as if he also got too used to having Az around all the time.

Azriel, the dick, reveals nothing through his eyes. Neither does Nesta.

The two of them look at each other awkwardly for a moment, and then he comes in to hug her. Nesta hugs him back, arms crossing around his broad back, but it has the same stiffness as two Barbie dolls being made to kiss each other.

When Azriel tries to pull away, Nesta clutches him to her with surprising strength. “I know about the picture,” she says lowly in his ear.

“Too late to take it back now.” She might feel him smile on top of her hair.

Nesta lets go of Azriel swiftly, having had enough physical contact with him to last a year. “Drive safe, so Elain can find you in one piece,” she orders.

Azriel grimaces at that, reminded of what waits for him in Velaris. Whatever Elain decides to give him, it’ll probably be deserved.

“I’ll get going then.” Az starts backing away, and Nesta hears Cassian sniffle. She looks toward her boyfriend in concern, but he circles his huge arms around her shoulders and pulls her back to his chest before she can catch him getting teary-eyed.

They watch Azriel get in his car and drive away. Nesta waves until the car disappears fully into the thickness of the surrounding trees, waves until her arms are too tired to keep going.

Once Az is gone, she turns in Cassian’s embrace and jumps up into his arms. Her legs hook around his hips and his hands fit themselves under her thighs. She smiles and tells him, “Let’s go home.”

Ten minutes later, they find themselves sitting in the silence of the kitchen. It’s the quiet of a house adjusting to a missing person, and Azriel’s absence is tangible.

Cassian is the first to break the silence. “Do you think he’s past city limits by now?” he asks as he stirs his coffee.

“No.” Nesta turns the page of her book, focused on reading. “Not if he stopped by Gwyn’s before leaving.”

She hears Cassian stop stirring. “What does that mean?” he says.

Nesta looks up at him and shrugs. “It means he probably wants to say goodbye to her.”

***

“One charge of assault, one for battery, and one huge lawsuit against my company,” Rhys reads aloud from the file in front of him.

Cassian waves a hand in dismissal. “Just make it go away like you always do.”

Rhysand’s near-violet eyes narrow with barely restrained rage. “Cassian. You shattered an employee’s hand.”

“Hey, O’Connell.” Cassian strolled up to him early last Monday morning. The underground parking lot was near empty at this hour, since most workers wouldn’t come in until nine. “How was the rest of your weekend?”

O’Connell looked up from getting his bag out of his car, clearly surprised to see Cassian willingly make small talk with him. “It was good,” he answered lightly. “You left Velaris early, though.”

“Yeah, about that.” Cassian came to a stop by O’Connell’s car and held out his hand, catching the car door before it could be shut. “I had to take my girlfriend home.”

O’Connell looked confused, but nodded along. “That’s nice. Can you—?” He gestured at the car door, indicating to Cassian to let go.

Cassian didn’t. “What hand did you use?”

“Excuse me?”

“When you touched her,” Cassian clarified. “What hand did you use when you touched her?”

O’Connell’s look of confusion morphed into one of contempt. “What the hell are you talking about, man?”

“Nesta Archeron.” Cassian straightened up, hand tightening over the top of the car door. “Your old college friend.” Realization dawned across O’Connell’s face, but he still hadn’t answered Cassian’s question.

“If you don’t tell me now, I’ll have to take my pick.” Cassian clicked his tongue in disappointment. “You’re left-handed, aren’t you?” He snatched up O’Connell’s left hand, and in a flash O’Connell was pressed up against the car, his hand pinned to the doorframe.

“Hey, wait, what are you—” O’Connell protested.

The sound of a car door slamming shut on a hand was louder than Cassian expected. It was the crunch of bones and muscle followed by immediate screaming.

“It could have been worse,” Cassian said flatly over O’Connell’s cries of pain. “It could have been your tongue, since you like talking shit so much.”

Cassian blinks out of the memory. “So what if I did?” he shrugs in response to Rhys.

“You are a member of my inner circle,” Rhysand fumes. “Keith O’Connell is a respected figure in our industry and a higher up from Vanserra and Co., and the head of our Milan outpost, but you saw fit to take out justice on him without asking me first.”

“You had nothing to do with it.”

“That is not up to you!” Rhysand jabs a finger at Cassian. “What will our shareholders think when they hear about this? What will the board members say?”

Cassian is starting to get irritated now. “They won’t find out, because you won’t tell them,” he says firmly. “We both know you’ve covered up worse things to fit your agenda, but it’s a problem if I don’t want a creepy bastard working under my jurisdiction?”

Having learned most of his business tricks from his father, Rhys is no perfectly clean CEO himself. He would’ve done far worse to O’Connell if it was Feyre in Nesta’s place, and he would have ended it all with a speech about how abusers and their sympathizers have no place at Night Court Inc.

The thought only inflames Cassian more; maybe he’s still riding off the anger of O’Connell making Nesta cry.

Tempering his feelings, he tells Rhys, “When you’re done shutting O’Connell up,” because Rhys would do it no matter how angry he pretended to be, “make sure Nesta never finds out about this.”

Rhys sits back in his chair, a bitter smirk pulling at his mouth. “Afraid she’ll be horrified of what a brute her sweet boyfriend is?”

Cassian nearly snorts at the image of Nesta recoiling at a broken hand. She’d probably call him weak for not shoving O’Connell into a ravine. “No,” he answers tiredly. “It’s not violence that offends her, but if she finds out it was in her name… I don’t want to put that on her shoulders.” Which is a shame, because in any other situation Nesta would love to hear about the unfortunate circumstances that led to O’Connell quitting his job.

Rhys lets loose a long sigh. “Damn, you both scare me.” After a few moments, he asks, “Now what are we going to do about Milan?”

***

Life after moving in with Cassian passes by quickly, and before Nesta knows it, she’s completed her second year of law school.

As for the boys who were some of her first friends and drinking companions, back when Nesta barely knew the definition of a friend—today they complete their final year of law school.

Nesta fans herself with the pamphlet she was handed at the beginning of the graduation ceremony, trying to stop the harsh morning sun from melting the makeup off her face. The audience is packed like sardines onto one huge field, and the announcer on stage hasn’t even reached the last names that start with D. Eris, Justinian, and Isaac are all near the bottom of the alphabet.

“Do we really need to be here today?” Nesta murmurs to Emerie, squirming in her metal foldout chair.

Sitting at her right, Emerie throws her a scolding look. “Don’t be like that. We’re never going to see these guys again.”

Nesta sincerely doubts that, considering how none of the guys are moving more than a few hours away. But her uterus is raising hell right now, even though her new meds have put a stop to her periods. Paired with the ache in her back from these terrible chairs, she’s about to call it quits and go straight home.

“Nesta!”

She whips her head to the left, finding Elain striding through the row of chairs to reach the empty seat beside her.

Like watching the Red Sea part, everyone in the row pulls their feet back and makes themselves as small as possible so Elain can have a clear walkway.

Nesta moves the purse she used to save Elain’s seat aside, and Elain drops her butt onto the little foldout chair like it’s a throne.

“A little warm for an outdoor ceremony, don’t you think?” Elain fans her face.

“You didn’t have to come all the way here, you know,” Nesta says.

“Eris made me. I haven’t talked to him since I broke up with his brother, but I think he wants to look like he has a lot of friends here.”

“Yeah, that checks out,” Emerie mutters from Nesta’s other side.

Elain seems to take notice of Emerie for the first time, and her Southern charm turns on like a switch. “Oh my, I don’t think we’ve met.”

Elain introduces herself and Emerie does the same, smiling and nodding politely, and Nesta can’t even decide if she likes this crossover because she’s too busy massaging her aching abdomen.

A string of “Excuse me, sorry!”s go up in the row they’re sitting in, and a moment later a familiar face plops down on the chair to Emerie’s right.

Gwyn leans over Emerie and holds a bottle of Advil out to Nesta. “This is all I could find in my car, babe.”

Nesta releases a sigh of relief and snatches the bottle. “It’s perfect, thank you.”

Elain’s gaze moves to the medicine, then to Gwyn. “You must be Gwyn.” She offers a smile. “I’m Nesta’s sister, Elain.”

Gwyn’s eyes widen imperceptibly, and Nesta realizes she should have warned Gwyn that Elain would be here.

Going off how Gwyn’s been acting the last few weeks, Nesta can only assume that she influenced Azriel’s final decision to move away, whether directly or indirectly. Nesta doesn’t even know much about what happened between the two of them during their weird sex deal, considering that she and Gwyn promised to never discuss such horrible things with each other.

All Nesta knows is that Azriel is Gwyn’s closest male friend, and close friends that have also slept together probably don’t want to bump into each other’s exes without warning.

“Are you here to see Eris graduate, too?” Elain asks.

Gwyn looks like a deer caught in headlights. “Who? Oh—no, I’m just here so we can drive to brunch together after.” Her voice gets quieter with each word, and she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Nice to meet you,” she adds in a murmur, her face a furious shade of red. She quickly looks forward at the stage as if the graduation ceremony is the most fascinating thing ever.

Elain doesn’t note the odd behavior, instead refocusing on the Advil pills that Nesta pops into her mouth and swallows dry. “Are you still hurting?” Elain says, furrowing her thin brows. “I thought you got that problem fixed.”

Nesta tries not to snort as she accepts the bottle of water that Emerie wordlessly passes her. “You can’t ‘fix’ endometriosis, Elain. That’s not how it works.”

“Oh. Well how was I supposed to know that?”

Nesta slides unamused hooded eyes to her sister. Before she can retort anything, Emerie elbows her hard. “Look, it’s Isaac!”

She refocuses on the ceremony, cheering and clapping half-heartedly as Isaac takes the stage. It’s not that she doesn’t care about her study buddies; it’s just that she feels like shit right now.

Justinian follows suit a few minutes later, grinning and waving when he spies Emerie cheering for him. Gwyn is distracted on her phone through all of it.

The Advil has finally started to kick in when Nesta murmurs to Elain, “How is Azriel adjusting to being back in the city?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Elain answers innocently. “I haven’t seen much of him since he returned.”

“Just spill it,” Nesta says. “Azriel wouldn’t tell me anything, so I’m assuming he’s humiliated about it.”

Elain sighs, delicately pushing her hair behind her shoulder. “He came to me to talk. I heard him out, and then we went back to his apartment for coffee, and then I took my fabric scissors and cut out the crotch from all his pants.”

Nesta raises a brow. “All of them?”

“All of them.”

Nesta shrugs, turning back to face the stage. “It’s good enough. I could have done worse.”

“Then it’s a good thing you’re not me, isn’t it?” Elain snips.

Nesta won’t say it, but she supposes she is a little happy for Elain. In fact, she thinks this might be the first time Elain has stood up for herself instead of letting Nesta handle it.

After the ceremony is over, Emerie goes off to congratulate Isaac and Justinian. Gwyn follows so she can get away from Elain, and Nesta, being sweaty and overstimulated and more than ready to leave, settles for waving her arms and grinning at the boys from across the field.

She’s about to say goodbye to Elain and make a beeline for the parking lot when she spots a head of shining red hair approaching her. No—make that two heads.

Eris looked unbearably snooty as he received his degree, likely smug with the fact that he has a comfortable job at a family friend’s corporate law firm lined up for him after he passes the Bar. Nesta admits that she’s a little disappointed in him: after all his talk of working hard and being the smartest person in the room, he ended up riding his father’s coattails to a disgustingly high salary. But maybe that is hard work for him, considering that there was such a ruckus in the Vanserra family when he chose to go into law instead of business.

As for Lucien… Well, Nesta really has no idea what the kid does, but she knows he looks good, better than the last time she saw him. An early summer tan makes him glow in comparison to his brother, while lean forearms are revealed under the rolled up sleeves of his dress shirt. He looks comfortable in a way he wasn’t at Thanksgiving all those months ago.

Even with his ex standing just a few feet away.

“Elain,” Lucien greets her with a foxlike smile.

Elain rolls her eyes in response and turns to Eris. “Congratulations on graduating, hun. Now that we’re even, kindly delete my number from your phone and never call me again.”

Even? Nesta raises a brow, wondering what that could possibly mean.

“I take it this is goodbye?” Eris tells her.

“I’m already leaving,” Elain says sweetly. She blows a kiss at Eris, then Nesta. “Feel better soon,” she chirps at her, before striding away in her pastel pink heels.

Very jealous of Elain getting to escape before she can, Nesta calls after her, “Hot date to catch?” She’s wearing the signature perfume she usually does when meeting with a man.

Elain tosses over her shoulder, “Something like that.” Her purse swings as she disappears around a corner to the parking lot.

Nesta watches her go with envy, and when she turns back she finds Eris already looking at her. Meanwhile, Lucien still has his eyes glued to the spot where Elain disappeared.

“You feel sick?” Eris asks her.

“No thank you, I have a boyfriend,” Nesta replies on instinct.

Eris scoffs once in indignation, then twice. “Don’t flatter yourself,” he says with disbelief. “I can care about my friends, you know.”

“You want her,” Lucien mutters.

Nesta’s eyes snap to Lucien, who seems to be acknowledging her presence for the first time today. “And what do you want?” She tilts her head at him, intrigued at having a new playmate. He’s less predictable than Eris, at the very least.

Lucien looks at her and offers a sheepish smile. “Nothing you can give me.”

Eris rolls his eyes at the both of them, clearly regretting bringing his brother along with him. “I’m already bored of this conversation,” he laments. “I’m out; the D.A. is here and I want to say hi. Find me when you’re done, punk.” Eris bonks Lucien on the head with his rolled up diploma and starts walking away, only pausing to extend a mocking bow to Nesta. “We’re not over yet, Archeron,” he calls as he leaves.

Now it’s Nesta’s and Lucien’s turn to roll their eyes.

With only the two of them left, Nesta feels obliged to ask awkwardly, “So… how’ve you been?”

Lucien’s gaze slides to her. “I didn’t know you were Elain’s sister,” he says.

She huffs a laugh. “I didn’t know you were her ex at first, either. Does it matter?”

Lucien’s mouth turns down in thought, but he doesn’t answer her question. “I’m doing good,” he says in response to her former question instead. “I’ve been living the nomad life, traveling around with friends, roadtripping in a van.”

But would you come home for Elain? Nesta can’t help but wonder.

She didn’t know Lucien had dated Elain until after her first meeting with him, but even then it had been something of a throwaway detail. Elain dates lots of guys, and falls in love with even more of them. She seemed to barely remember Lucien’s name when Nesta first brought it up in front of her.

But for some inexplicable reason, Nesta genuinely likes Lucien. A part of her recognizes something similar in a part of him, and it makes her sad to imagine him being stuck on a girl who won’t think about him twice.

“Take my advice,” Nesta tells him bluntly, “and move on if you haven’t yet. Staring after Elain when she already broke up with you will get you nowhere.” Elain isn’t the type to ever look back, and she never falls for the same man twice.

Lucien just looks at Nesta with a blank face. “I broke up with her,” he says.

Nesta’s mouth falls open.

“And,” he adds, “I was staring at her ass.” He starts walking backwards to his brother, giving Nesta an innocent grin as he leaves. “It was nice meeting again. See you in another six months.”

Nesta is dumbfounded watching him go, not knowing what to do with this new knowledge. As far as she knows, no one has ever broken up with Elain except for Azriel—and that ended in Az losing all of his pants.

It only occurs to Nesta that she shouldn’t have let Lucien get away with that ass comment when Emerie and Gwyn suddenly appear at her side, each of them interlocking an arm with hers. “You feeling better?” Emerie inquires cheerfully. “Ready to go?”

Nesta nods slowly, forcefully putting Lucien Vanserra and his too-sly demeanor out of her mind. He isn’t her problem right now. Summer is already here with a vengeance, and she’ll only have so much free time with the people she loves most. So she chooses to focus only on them.

Tugging her friends closer and squeezing their arms, Nesta asks, “Where are we eating?”

***

a/n: this needs sooo much more editing lol i could have done a lot more with this chapter if i wasn’t constantly tired and pressed for free time. sorry y’all :/

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[emilia3546]

Snowball Fight - Gwynriel

The snowball fight has always been the way to win bragging rights for the year, but this year Azriel has a hidden ace, from an innocent suggestion that they all team up with their wives.

*****

Gwyn snorted with laughter at Cassian's shout of outrage when a snowball hit him straight in the face. She ducked down behind the wall or hard snow she'd built up earlier, waiting for Azriel to draw attention away. She crawled back to the middle of their snow fort, rolling a new load of snowballs, and left a pile waiting for Azriel to keep Cassian and Nesta's attention on him. Rhys and Feyre were too distracted trying to take advantage of Cassian's distraction to notice when she slipped away, climbing a tree to get a better vantage point.

Azriel still had plenty of ammunition, never popping up long enough for anyone to hit him, but just enough to pelt Cassian with a couple of snowballs before hiding again. Feyre was busy making snowballs, occasionally standing up to throw one, usually right after Rhys took one to the face, but she seemed more than happy to let him take the hits. Still, she was exchanging snowballs with Nesta quite regularly, and squawked in outrage when a snowball exploded on her shoulder, sending snow flying everywhere. Gwyn stifled a giggle at the snowball exploding on the side of Rhys' head when he turned to see what had happened. Cassian laughed, but then cursed when Azriel's snowball hit him in the back of the head. Gwyn silently moved across to the next tree, chuckling to herself when Nesta retaliated, sending Azriel diving for cover under the barrage of snow.

She glanced around the trees, there, just a few trees away, she should be sheltered enough to be hidden if anyone looked up, which the probably wouldn't, not with Azriel drawing attention. She leaped across the gap, holding her breath for a moment when her foot slipped, sending snow falling, but no-one seemed to notice. She waved a hand at Azriel, still hiding behind cover, but she hadn't missed the shadow that had crept up to check on her after she'd slipped. She pointed back at Feyre, moving across in her snow fort to try and attack from another angle. He raised an eyebrow but did pivot to dodge her attack, sending snowballs after her in quick succession until she squealed, running back to cover, shaking snow out of her hair and using Rhys as a living shield to focus her attacks back on Cassian and Nesta.

Gwyn lost sight of Nesta as she counted the snowballs Azriel had planted up the tree earlier, hiding them in a hollow in the tree, and another on the other side, lower down, she'd use those as a last resort.

"How's it feel to be losing again, Cass?" Gwyn picked up her first snowball, waiting for Azriel's signal that he was ready,

"Losing? We're not losing, even with you lot all targeting us," Cassian probably would have kept talking if he hadn't had to duck a snowball. Rhys whispered something to Feyre where they were hiding behind their snow fort, and she giggled, nodding. Gwyn kept her focus on them as Rhys rolled several snowballs together, and Feyre held a hand out, melding them all into one giant snowball. She giggled again as it lifted on its own, hurling over and almost knocking Cassian over as it slammed into him. He yelped as he stumbled, and Gwyn reached out a hand for the shadow that was still following her,

"Tell Az that Feyre and Rhys are cheating," she whispered, meeting Azriel's eyes a moment later, he nodded, and she tossed her snowball in her hand, waiting for her chance. Azriel stood up, exposing himself and everyone's attention snapped towards him, giving her a chance to throw a snowball, right so that it exploded, snow slipping down the back of Cassian's neck, leaving him too distracted to shield Nesta from the same treatment as he tried to get the snow out. Gwyn didn't need to maintain her attack, with Rhys and Feyre pressing their advantage and pelting them both with snowballs until Nesta sneezed and Cassian held up a hand to stop the assault.

"Are you cold?" Nesta shook her head, but even Gwyn could see that she was shivering through her thick coat over her leathers, "Okay, we're out," Cassian announced, "Inside, c'mon, warm,"

"No, I wanna win," Nesta complained, "You go if you're cold,"

"Nes, you're shivering, and you're ice-cold," she stared him down, and he sighed, sweeping her up, one arm under her knees, the other around her back. Cassian ignored her complaints as he carried her into the cabin,

"Put me down!" She squealed, "I want to win! Put me down, you brute!" Cassian ignored her, just kissing her cheek, and she stopped wriggling, realizing that she couldn't get out of his hold, finally letting him carry her inside.

Once Cassian and Nesta were back inside, the fight was back on, Azriel kept Rhys' head down with a constant stream of snowballs, and Gwyn kept targeting Feyre where he was replenishing their supply of snowballs. She yelped when a bit of snow got into her coat,

"I thought they were on your side!" She complained, "Are they both there?"

"Az is, I can't see Gwyn, but she must be hiding,"

"She's attacking me from somewhere, I can't see her," Gwyn grinned, and aimed a snowball for Rhys' face when he turned around to look, but he did then look up, grinning when he saw her. She kept her eyes on the snowball he was tossing up and down, and glanced along the branch, there was snow all along it. She settled into a fork in the wood, and kicked the branch, hard. Nothing, she tried again, and giggled in delight when a load of snow fell out of the tree, right onto Rhys' head, and she followed up with the rest of her snowballs, signalling for Azriel to do the same until he held up a hand,

"Okay!" He yelped, glaring at Azriel when he couldn't resist one more snowball, striking his brother right on the backside, "We give up,"

"Rhys!" Feyre complained, but Rhys just shrugged,

"They weren't bullying you, darling, I'll make it up to you later," Feyre leaned towards him to say something, throwing her arms around his neck,

"You're cold," she observed, "No," she yelped when he tossed his remaining snowball at her, "Get away! No, no, Rhys!" She squealed when he chased her down, tackling her into a snowdrift, leaving her shaking snow out of her hair, "Prick," she hissed, shoving him aside to make her own way inside, but didn't complain when he wrapped an arm around her.

Gwyn dropped out of the tree and bounced over to where Azriel was emerging from their snow fort, giggling with glee,

"We won!" She leaped into his arms, laughing when he couldn't help but laugh at her excitement, kissing the sound away when she giggled again.

"My devious little Valkyrie," he murmured, and Gwyn wriggled out of his arms,

"Little!" It didn't matter that he was almost a foot taller than her, she raised herself onto her tiptoes, and smashed her last snowball in his face, running away afterwards, rolling forwards to avoid his counter-attack. She sprinted for the safety of the cabin, but he reached her just as she opened the door, an arm around her waist, pulling her back out and flipping her over in the snow.

"I win."

"What gave you that impression? Perhaps this was my plan all along,"

"To get pinned?"

"To get underneath my husband," she whispered, just loud enough for Azriel to hear and no-one else, but he snorted with laughter, and she took his moment of distraction to surge upwards, grabbing both of wrists and pinning him to the floor as she sat down onto his hips, "Now who wins?" She demanded, dancing away before he could push her off, grinning over her shoulder as she darted inside, "I'm safe!" she yelped when he chased after her, throwing her over one shoulder, "Az!" She squealed, "You're cheating!" She yelped and grabbed onto him when he spun round in a circle, fat enough that she squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring the laughs from the rest of their family until he finally put her down. "Asshole!" She hissed, but held on to his arm as the room kept sway until she'd cleared her head, "That's it, I'm moving in with Nesta, you're demoted," she giggled when Azriel feigned horror, and kissed him quickly again, "Maybe you're forgiven,"

"Maybe?"

"Maybe if you go and get a warm bath ready," she laughed as Azriel's shadows immediately skittered off, and sank onto the couch beside Nesta, "Are you alright?" Nesta held up her mug of cocoa as a response,

"We'll get you next year," she promised.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter Seven}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta was out with Elain, Mor, Emerie, Amren, and Gwen for the night.

She had no idea when she’d be home.

This meant one thing and one thing only.

It was Cassian’s first night alone with Nyx.

It was no different than being home alone with Nyx during the day, which Cassian had been a handful of times thus far. However, Nyx didn’t seem to need as much during the day.

Eat, sleep, play, repeat.

At night, he needed a dinner, a bath, his bottle, to be rocked, to be put down for the night…which was something he never liked doing. A daytime nap? He didn’t mind. Sleeping for nine hours? Apparently that thought just pissed him off.

Nesta was a pro at getting him to sleep for the night. Cassian had offered once to do it and failed miserably.

“Not tonight, little man,” Cassian said to Nyx as they sat at the dinner table together. “Tonight, you’re going to bed the first time for Uncle Cassian.”

Nyx looked at Cassian and giggled.

Cassian scoffed. “Don’t mock me.”

Dinner with Cassian meant Nyx got the good shit. No puréed green beans or mashed carrots tonight. After he’d polished off a small jar of the cinnamon apples, Nyx had eaten nearly half a tube of puréed sweet potato, and Cassian was eating his own food. He took a bite of supreme pizza and pointed at him, before holding up a single finger. “After this, we’re gonna take a bath, and you aren’t going to throw water everywhere or poop in the tub, got it?”

Nyx just banged his little hand on the tray of his high chair, causing more sweet potato to fly onto himself, grinning up at Cassian.

“Then one last bottle before bed, while I read you a story,” he said, holding up a second finger. “I’m sure there will be a diaper change in there somewhere, so please go easy on me, yeah?”

Nyx played in the mess of mixed food in front of him.

“And then you go to bed, so I can watch a movie and pass out myself, and boom. Nesta can’t say anything about my parenting anymore cause I managed to keep you alive for a whole night.”

Nyx blew a raspberry at him before he started babbling.

Cassian took that as agreement.

“Perfect,” Cassian said, ruffling Nyx’s dark hair as he shoved the rest of the pizza into his mouth with his other hand.

He got up to clear his plate, and by the time he went back to Nyx’s high chair, he had managed to make orange streaks in his black hair.

Courtesy of the sweet potatoes.

With a sigh, Cassian took the tray off the high chair and unbuckled Nyx, picking him up and carrying him toward the bath.

“You first, tray second,” Cassian said.

Nyx started patting his little potato covered hands on Cassian’s cheeks, giggling at the sound it made.

Cassian cringed at the way it felt. “Thanks for that.”

He filled the bathtub up, ensuring it wasn’t too hot, like Nesta had shown him, and got Nyx out of his messy clothes and into the tub. After he’d wiped his own face clean of sweet potato, he went to work on Nyx, who had somehow managed to get it on the back of his knees.

Twenty minutes and a full change of wet, soggy clothes later for Cassian, he was sitting in Nyx’s nursery, in the rocking chair in the corner, a book open in his lap.

“This would be a book your parents bought you,” he muttered, opening the front cover. After clearing his throat, he began, “The night sky of Velaris greeted all the townspeople, letting them know it was time to go to bed.” Nyx patted the page and babbled something incoherent. Cassian nodded. “Yeah, it’s a nice picture, isn’t it?” He went on reading the story, written by a local author, no doubt, and Cassian found himself snorting at some of the sentences, but Nyx was fully engaged.

By the time he had finished the book, Nyx was leaning back against him, fully relaxed in his pajamas.

Even Cassian let out a yawn.

“You know, the Velaris starlight was important to your parents,” Cassian said, rocking Nyx back and forth. “They fell in love on Starfall. At least, that’s what Rhys always said. He was in love with your mama long before that, but she started falling for him on Starfall.” Nyx’s dark lashes began to fall, his eyelids drooping. “That’s why they named you Nyx. In Greek, Nyx means night.”

Nyx’s hand gripped Cassian’s thumb. He looked down at the sight and chuckled, quietly.

The baby looked up at him then, with those big, blue eyes, eyes that were so blue, they looked violet in the dark. That dark hair that was starting to need a trim, falling into his eyes. Cassian blinked quickly, trying to keep the sudden tears from spilling over. “You look so much like your dad,” he whispered.

Nyx just continued to watch him, pacifier in his mouth, those eyes getting sleepier with every rock of the chair.

Swallowing harshly, Cass set the book down and resituated Nyx so he was laying against his chest. He gently rubbed his back, the way he saw Nesta do when he would get fussy.

“I miss your dad,” he said, softly. “I know you do, too, you’ve known him your whole life, but—. But so have I. And after twenty-eight years he’s just…gone.”

That dark head snuggled in closer against him, one of his little hands clutching Cassian’s t-shirt.

Cassian said nothing else. If he had, he wouldn’t have gotten them out clearly.

He rocked. He rocked and he rocked and he rocked until Nyx was snoring, softly. As carefully as he could, Cassian rose and laid Nyx down in his crib.

After waiting a moment to make sure he didn’t wake up, Cassian tiptoed out of the room and across the hall to his own bedroom.

He had just laid down and unlocked his phone when he heard crying.

Tossing his phone back on his pillow, Cassian was instantly up, hurrying back across the hall. Nyx’s feet were kicking, his arms waving wildly, perfectly unhappy.

“What’s going on?” Cassian asked, picking the baby up out of the crib and cradling him against his chest. “Huh? You were sleeping so nicely.”

He continued to cry, and no amount of bouncing or patting his back was seeming to work.

“Come on, dude,” he muttered, sitting back down in the rocker. He resumed the slow back and forth motion, praying it would soothe Nyx back into peaceful sleep. “We did the bath. We did the bottle. We did the book. This is when you go to sleep.”

He kept crying and Cassian just shushed him quietly, his hand resuming the gentle rubbing he had done before. It helped, but Nyx still sniffled. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “I don’t know how to do any of this. I’m still scared I’m gonna do something to fuck up and I wouldn’t just be doing it to you, it’d be to Rhys, too.”

Nyx’s wailing returned, and Cassian tried to close his eyes and take deep breaths. It wasn’t working. With everything he tried, Nyx only cried more and more and more.

“Come on, buddy,” he begged. “It’s time for bed, alright? It’s time to calm down.” Nyx let out a cry so loud that Cassian nearly jumped, which only scared Nyx, making him cry louder.

Cassian tried changing his diaper, tried getting him to take his pacifier, but nothing helped. He continued to rock, continued to pat, continued to walk Nyx around his room, but nothing worked.

Nothing.

Defeated, Cassian laid Nyx back down in his crib. “Come on, bud. Come on.”

Nyx kept crying, and Cassian rubbed his temples, trying not to join his nephew in his agony.

“Shhhhhh,” Cassian began, leaning over the crib, patting Nyx’s stomach. “It’s time for bed, Nyx. It’s time for bed. If your parents were here right now, I’m sure you’d already be asleep. Shit, if Nesta were here, you’d already be asleep.” He shook his head. “It’s me, isn’t it?”

The baby replied by continuing to cry.

He swore quietly, and hurried across the hall grabbing his phone, dialing a number he’d unknowingly memorized. She answered on the second ring.

“Is everything okay?”

He couldn’t hear music and laughter in the background of the call, but heard how panicked her voice was. She must have stepped away from her friends. It only made him feel that much worse.

“I can’t get him to stop crying and go to sleep,” he admitted. “I don’t know what else to try.”

“You gave him his bottle?” She asked, and he nodded. Then audibly answered her. After that, she ticked off the checklist of things she usually went through. Every single one he’d already tried.

“It’s like it’s just me,” he said, trying to calm him down while he held the phone to his ear. He scooped him up into his arms and sat down in the rocking chair. “He hates me and won’t go to sleep.”

She was quiet for a minute. “You know that’s not true, Cassian. He loves you.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said, quietly, low enough that he wasn’t sure if the receiver could pick it up over Nyx’s wailing.

But it didn’t matter, because he heard footsteps hurrying up the stairs.

When Nesta rounded the corner, she wasn’t expecting to find Cassian looking defeated in the rocking chair. She pretended not to see the tears on his handsome face as she dropped her purse by the door of the nursery and took Nyx. She began to soothe him and tried to give him back his pacifier, but he wouldn’t take it.

“He’s cutting a new tooth,” Nesta said, carefully looking into his mouth, wide open thanks to a drawn out sob. “That’s all. He’s just uncomfortable, isn’t he?”

By the end of the sentence she was looking at Nyx, an over-exaggerated frown on her face.

She handed him back to Cassian and was downstairs and back with cooling, teething toy she’d pulled out of the freezer. He began to chew and gnaw on it the moment she handed it to him.

The crying quieted.

“There,” she said, smoothing his dark hair back from his forehead. “Better, yeah?”

Taking him from Cassian who hadn’t said a word since she walked in, she put him back into his crib and gently rubbed his belly. Within minutes, he was asleep again.

He murmured, “Thanks. You…didn’t have to end your night early for me.” He gestured toward the front door. “You can head back out. I can— I can handle it now.”

She shook her head. “I was on the way home. Turns out I wasn’t really in the going out mood.”

Cassian nodded, and said no more. He simply watched Nyx, his chest rising and falling. Nesta gave him a curt nod and walked out, back into the hall.

Cassian followed, shutting the nursery door quietly behind him.

“You did that so effortlessly.”

Nesta stopped and turned to face him near her bedroom, a brow raised. “Effortlessly?”

“I’ve been struggling for hours and you came in, and less than five minutes… He was out.” Cassian shook his head. “I’ve known him since the day he was born and I had no idea what he wanted.”

“He’s a baby, Cassian. He doesn’t even know what he wanted.”

“You knew,” he said, exasperated, exhausted.

She blinked, not expecting the tone of his voice to have sounded so…empty.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nesta said, looking at him, willing him to meet her eyes. He didn’t look up.

“It’s not okay,” he said, and suddenly his words were sharp. “Rhys trusted me to take care of him but I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

She shook her head. “They trusted us, but they knew it wouldn’t be easy. We knew it wouldn’t be easy. We just have to take it day by day and-.”

“It’s not okay!” His words weren’t loud but they were panicked. “I have to provide for him and I can’t fucking do it if I don’t know what he needs.”

“Cassian-.”

“Why would they choose me?” He asked, his voice quiet. Tears filled his eyes. He hated himself for it. “I never even wanted kids! I have no idea what to do with a kid, Nesta. I don’t know what parents are supposed to do, what dads are supposed to do, I didn’t even fucking have one.”

Nesta remained quiet, afraid to speak, afraid to move. She had never seen Cassian like this.

She didn’t think anyone had ever seen Cassian like this.

“I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to do this,” he repeated. “I can’t— I can’t do this.”

She knew her words would mean nothing, reassuring him that he wasn’t alone in this, that they would figure it out together. It wouldn’t help him, wouldn’t ease his mind or his heart. That heart that was still broken from the loss of his best friend, his brother. So she did something she never thought she’d do.

She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around him.

Cassian didn’t move for a moment, he just let her slim arms wrap around his waist, not realizing that he was on the brink of losing it. He was fairly sure that right now, she was the only thing holding him together, both mentally and physically. But after a long minute, his own arms wrapped around her shoulder and he buried his face into the top of her hair. He didn’t care that his tears were soaking her hair, didn’t care that this was the woman he’d spent the past five years hating and avoiding like she was the damn plague.

He didn’t care that he was falling to pieces.

Standing in that hallway, with Nyx sleeping behind the closed bedroom door, Cassian wept, and he didn’t care who saw it.

[gimme-mor]

BETWEEN THE LINES: NIGHT COURT ELAIN & SPRING COURT FEYRE

*DISCLAIMER*

This is a really long post and based on my interpretation of the text.

This is strictly an analysis of Elain as a character because, in my opinion, there isn’t a lot of talk about Elain outside of ships and conversations about her character arc typically revolve around to whom she is paired, especially if that person is Azriel. She is her own character and gets the short end of the stick in the fandom because everyone is more concerned about who she’s shipped with rather than her as a character.

Also, anyone who is rude/condescending will automatically be blocked.

In ACOSF, SJM went out of her way on two occasions to highlight Elain not looking good in black. While it may be minor or insignificant to some, I think those instances were meant to show something about Elain specifically and what she may be going through in the Night Court. Elain has been a passive character for the most part, contributing to things in her own way earlier in the series. But after she was taken by the Cauldron, her safety has become everyone’s main concern and the other characters have slowly excluded her from courtly matters. In ACOWAR, this was understandable because she was traumatized and not fully present. However, as of ACOSF, Elain was still excluded from courtly matters with the other characters heavily relying upon Nesta, who made her reservations known, because they were on a time constraint and couldn’t afford to wait for Elain to reacquaint herself with her powers.

The fact that the other characters use the kidnapping situation to excuse their current actions toward Elain is eerily similar to the way Tamlin and Lucien used the Under the Mountain events to excuse Tamlin’s actions toward Feyre in ACOMAF. And the characters use Elain and Feyre’s safety to justify why neither of them should be involved. In my opinion, Elain in the Night Court resembles Feyre in the Spring Court because not only do they experience similar things, but both of them are (or were in Feyre’s case) in places that stunt their growth. Even though Night Court Elain isn’t exposed to all of the things that Spring Court Feyre was exposed to, the similarities in their experiences (and how those similarities might potentially impact Elain similarly to the way they impacted Feyre) shouldn’t be overlooked.

Being monitored

Feyre

I was too watched－too monitored and judged. Why should the bride of the High Lord learn to fight if peace had returned? That had been Ianthe’s reasoning when I’d made the mistake of mentioning it at dinner. Tamlin, to his credit, had seen both sides: I’d learn to protect myself...but the rumors would spread. (ACOMAF)

“Tamlin－Tamlin, I can’t...I can’t live my life with guards around me day and night. I can’t live with that...suffocation. Just let me help you－let me work with you.” (. . .) “I’m drowning,” I managed to say. “I am drowning. And the more you do this, the more guards...You might as well be shoving my head under the water.” (ACOMAF)

Elain

Nesta said, “The Trove. And what happened the last time I scried.” Feyre said, “We won’t allow any harm to come to Elain. Rhys warded her this morning, and we have eyes on her at all times.” “Eyes can be blinded,” Nesta said. “Not the ones under my command,” Azriel said with soft menace. Nesta met his stare, knowing he was the only one aside from Feyre who could truly understand her hesitation. He’d gone with Feyre into the heart of Hybern’s camp to save Elain－he knew the risk. “We won’t make the same mistake twice.” She believed him. “All right.” (ACOSF)

Trying to fit in

Feyre

I hated the bright dresses that had become my daily uniform, but didn’t have the heart to tell Tamlin－not when he’d bought so many, not when he looked so happy to see me wear them. Not when his words weren’t far from the truth. The day I put on my pants and tunics, the day I strapped weapons to myself like fine jewelry, it would send a message far and clear across the lands. So I wore the gowns, and let Alis arrange my hair－if only so it would buy these people a measure of peace and comfort. (ACOMAF)

I sometimes debated asking her to pray for me as well. To pray that I’d one day learn to love the dresses, and the parties, and my role as a blushing, pretty bride. (ACOMAF)

Elain

And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her. But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court－and would do whatever she needed. (ACOSF)

So Elain had let her golden-brown hair down tonight, and pinned it back with twin combs of pearl. He’d never once in the two years he’d known her found Elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court...It sucked the life from her. (ACOSF)

Pretending everything’s all right

Feyre

“Fine,” I breathed. I made myself look him in the eye, made myself smile. (ACOMAF)

Elain

“And you?” I made myself say. “Are you－all right?” Elain looked over a shoulder at me as we entered the foyer, then turned left－to the dining room. In the sitting room across the way, all conversation halted at the smell of food. “Why wouldn’t I be all right?” she asked, a smile lighting up her face. I’d seen those smiles before. On my own damn face. (ACOFAS)

Clothes not looking right on them

Feyre

I really, truly hated my wedding gown. It was a monstrosity of tulle and chiffon and gossamer, so unlike the loose gowns I usually wore: the bodice fitted, the neckline curved to plump my breasts, and the skirts...The skirts were a sparkling tent, practically floating in the balmy spring air (. . .) I might have dealt with it all if it weren’t for the puffy capped sleeves, so big I could almost see them glinting from the periphery of my vision. My hair had been curled, half up, half down, entwined with pearls and jewels and the Cauldron knew what, and it had taken all my self-control to keep from cringing at the mirror before descending the sweeping stairs into the main hall. (ACOMAF)

I again surveyed the room, my wedding gown hissing on the warm marble floors. I peered down at myself. You look ridiculous. (ACOMAF)

Elain

Elain in black was ridiculous. Yes, she was beautiful, but the color of her long-sleeved, modest gown leeched the brightness from her face. It wore her, rather than the other way around. (ACOSF)

Looking good in clothes that suit them and that fact being pointed out

Feyre

My high-waisted peach pants were loose and billowing, gathered at the ankles with velvet cuffs of bright gold. The long sleeves of the matching top were made of gossamer, also gathered at the wrists, and the top itself hung just to my navel, revealing a sliver of skin as I walked. Comfortable, easy to move in－to run. Feminine. Exotic. (ACOMAF)

But those claws now dug in－and my entire body, my heart, my lungs, my blood yielded to his grip, utterly at his command as he said, The fashion of the Night Court suits you. (ACOMAF)

Elain

Gone was the ill-suited black dress from the ball, replaced by a gown of amethyst velvet, her hair half-up and curling down to her waist. She glowed with good health. (ACOSF)

People not wanting them to be involved in things

Feyre

“I want to go.” “No.” I crossed my arms, tucking my tattooed hand under my right bicep, and spread my feet slightly further apart on the dirt floor of the stables. “It’s been three months. Nothing’s happened, and the village isn’t even five miles－” “No.” (ACOMAF)

“I could use my powers against Hybern.” “That’s out of the question,” Tamlin said, “especially as there will be no war against Hybern.” “Rhys says war is inevitable, and we’ll be hit hard.” Lucien said drily, “And Rhys knows everything?” “No－but...He was concerned. He thinks I can make a difference in any upcoming conflict.” Tamlin flexed his fingers－keeping those claws contained. “You have no training in battle or weaponry. And even if I started training you today, it’d be years before you could hold your own on an immortal battlefield.” He took a tight breath. “So despite what he thinks you might be able to do, Feyre, I’m not going to have you anywhere near a battlefield. Especially if it means revealing whatever powers you have to our enemies. You’d be fighting Hybern at your front, and have foes with friendly faces at your back.” “I don’t care－” “I care,” Tamlin snarled. Lucien whooshed out a breath. “I care if you die, if you’re hurt, if you will be in danger every moment for the rest of our lives. So there will be no training, and we’re going to keep this between us.” (ACOMAF)

Elain

“Nesta’s spine straightened. No one spoke, but their attention lingered on her like a film on her skin. ‘You will not go looking for it.’” (ACOSF)

“Then go off on adventures,” Nesta said. “Go drink and fuck strangers. But stay away from the Cauldron.” (. . .) “Keep out of this,” she hissed at her youngest sister. “I have no doubt you put these thoughts in her head, probably encouraging her to throw herself into harm’s way－” (ACOSF)

Amren said, “We do not have the time to wait for Nesta to decide. I say we approach Elain tomorrow. Better to have both of them working on it.” Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.” “But Nesta should?” Cassian growled. Everyone stared at him. He swallowed, offering an apologetic glance to Az, who shrugged it off. Amren drained her wine and said to Cassian, “Nesta has a week. One more week to find the Trove with her own methods. Then we seek out other routes.” She threw a nod toward Azriel. “Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.” (ACOSF)

“I think Eris is our ally, and will expect to dance with a lady of this court at the ball no matter what. I won’t let Feyre within five feet of him, Mor might kill him, and Amren is more likely to scare him off than win him over, so you and Elain are the only options.” “Elain doesn’t go near him,” Feyre said. (ACOSF)

Their safety being brought up when they want to be involved

Feyre

“Please. The recovery efforts are so slow. I could hunt for the villagers, get them food－” “It’s not safe,” Tamlin said, again nudging his stallion into a walk. The horse’s coat shone like a dark mirror, even in the shade of the stables. “Especially not for you.” He’d said that every time we had this argument; every time I begged him to let me go to the nearby village of High Fae to help rebuild what Amarantha had burned years ago (. . .) “People want to come back, they want a place to live－” “Those same people see you as a blessing－a marker of stability. If something happened to you…” (. . .)Tamlin said softly, “I can’t do what I need to if I’m worrying about whether you’re safe.” (ACOMAF)

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he murmured. “It’s fine,” I breathed. “I understand.” Not a lie, but not quite the truth. His fingers grazed lower, circling my belly button. “You are－you’re everything to me,” he said thickly. “I need...I need you to be all right. To know they can’t get to you－can’t hurt you anymore.” (ACOMAF)

“Tamlin got what I didn’t,” Lucien said softly, his breathing ragged. “We all heard your neck break. But you got to come back. And I doubt that he will ever forget that sound, either. And he will do everything in his power to protect you from that danger again, even if it means keeping secrets, even if it means sticking to rules you don’t like. In this, he will not bend. So don’t ask him to－not yet.” (ACOMAF)

“Did he let you take me today,” I said hoarsely, “so that I’d stop asking to help rebuild?” “No. I decided to take you myself. For that exact reason. They don’t want or need your help. Your presence is a distraction and a reminder of what they went through.” (. . .) “I know you wanted to help,” Lucien offered. “I’m sorry.” So was I. (ACOMAF)

Elain

“The last time we involved ourselves with the Cauldron, it abducted you,” Nesta countered, fighting her shaking. (ACOSF)

“Like calls to like,” Amren countered. “You were Made by the Cauldron. You may track other objects Made by it as well, as Briallyn can. And because you are Made by it, you are immune to the influence and power of the Trove. You might use them, yes, but they cannot be used upon you.” A glance to Elain. “Either of you.” Nesta swallowed. “I can’t.” But to let Elain involve herself, jeopardize her safety－ (ACOSF)

Nesta’s pulse pounded throughout her body. “Do you not remember the war? What we encountered? Do you not remember the Cauldron kidnapping you, bringing you into the heart of Hybern’s camp?” “I do,” Elain said coldly. (ACOSF)

If it was between her and Elain, there was no choice at all. She would always go first if it meant keeping Elain from harm. Even if she’d just hurt her sister more than she could stomach. (ACOSF)

Pushing back against what others want

Feyre

He hissed, “You have no idea how hard it is for him to even let you off the estate grounds. He’s under more pressure than you realize.” “I know exactly how much pressure he endures. And I didn’t realize I’d become a prisoner.” “You’re not－” He clenched his jaw. “That’s not how it is and you know it.” “He didn’t have any trouble letting me hunt and wander on my own when I was a mere human. When the borders were far less safe.” “He didn’t care for you the way he does now. And after what happened Under the Mountain…” The words clanged in my head, along my too-tense muscles. “He’s terrified. Terrified of seeing you in his enemies’ hands. And they know it, too－they know all they have to do to own him would be to get ahold of you.” “You think I don’t know that? But does he honestly expect me to spend the rest of my life in that manor, overseeing servants and wearing pretty clothes?” (ACOMAF)

Elain

Cassian shifted in his seat. “So we track down the Dread Trove－how?” Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.” Nesta’s head went silent as Elain’s words finished sounding in the room. Feyre had twisted in her seat, face white with alarm. Nesta shot to her feet. “No.” Elain remained in the doorway, her face pale but her expression harder than Nesta had ever seen it. “You do not decide what I can and cannot do, Nesta.” (ACOSF)

“It nearly killed me. It trapped me like a bird in a cage.” Elain said, “Then I will find it. I might require some time to...reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” “Absolutely not,” Nesta spat, fingers curling at her sides. “Absolutely not.” “Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.” (ACOSF)

Being used as pawns against others

Feyre

“We need you to tell us everything,” Tamlin said. “The layout of the Night Court, who you saw, what weapons and powers they bore, what Rhys did, who he spoke to, any and every detail you can recall.” “I didn’t realize I was a spy.” Lucien shifted in his seat, but Tamlin said, “As much as I hate your bargain, you’ve been granted access into the Night Court. Outsiders rarely get to go in－and if they do, they rarely come out in one piece. And if they can function, their memories are usually...scrambled. Whatever Rhysand is hiding in there, he doesn’t want us knowing about it.” (ACOMAF)

Elain

Rhys angled his head at the not-quite question. “I trust in the fact that we currently have possession of the one thing he wants above all else. And as long as that remains, he’ll try to stay on our good side. But if that changes...His talent was wasted in the Spring Court. There was a reason he had that fox mask, you know.” His mouth tugged to the side. “If he got Elain away, back to Spring or wherever...do you believe, deep down, that he wouldn’t sell what he knows? Either for gain, or to ensure she stays safe?” “You let him hear everything tonight, though.” (. . .) I considered his question: Did I trust Lucien? “I don’t know, either,” I admitted, and sighed. “I don’t like that Elain is a pawn in this.” “I know. It’s never easy.” (ACOWAR)

Cassian glowered at Amren. “It’s not right to wield Elain as a threat to manipulate Nesta into scrying.” “There are harsher ways to convince Nesta, boy.” (ACOSF)

Although Elain and Feyre are surrounded by two different groups of people with varying levels of care for their wellbeing, they’re treated similarly which is hard to overlook. In Elain’s situation, Nesta, Azriel, and Feyre take on the “Tamlin role” (either undermining Elain’s attempts to contribute to things or preventing Elain from helping altogether) while everyone else takes on the “Lucien role” (validating the concerns of others while also enabling their behaviors, which doesn’t support Elain’s desire to be involved).