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neonweeknds · 3 years ago

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what a time - chapter five

*u can read here or on ao3*

chapter five - dear patience

summary - Maybe taking a quick twenty-four-hour trip to New York City with your ex isn’t always the best idea.

Michelle slammed the door shut once both Rosé and Utica have entered the car. Rosé had just finished a rather successful fitting for her magazine shoot taking place next week and she was feeling giddy about going to dinner tonight with Denali.

“Are we just going to continue ignoring the elephant in the room?” Michelle raised an eyebrow, directly looking at Rosé. The singer glanced at Utica who gave her a sad smile.

“If by elephant you mean that horrendous scarf you’re wearing, then yes, let’s discuss. You make enough money from me to afford something better than that,” Rosé scoffed.

Michelle rolled her eyes and sighed, “You’re deflecting, Rosé,”

“Deflecting? I’m just speaking facts,”

“Can we please just have a serious conversation, for two seconds? Please,” Michelle warned, her voice becoming suddenly serious.

Rosé frowned, slightly confused. “Michelle, if this is about last night— I told you I was sorry, it won’t happen again—“

“It’s not,” she plainly said.

“Utica, do you know what she’s talking about?”

Her assistant pursed her lips, “Well, I think she may be referring to the picture that went around along with the information about your past relationship,”

Rosé wasn’t dumb, she just chose to forget about that part of her day yesterday, pushing it so far back into her brain it was practically non-existent.

That was how she dealt with her problems.

“What about the picture?” Rosé didn’t want to have this discussion right now. She was hungover, tired, hungry and she didn’t have the emotional capacity to have this conversation.

“You were with Denali last night, weren’t you?”

Rosé opened her mouth to say something but shut it immediately after realizing that there was no way she would be able to talk herself out of this. “So what if I was?” she challenged. Michelle sighed and placed her phone down on her lap, “Are you sure that’s a good idea? To be hanging around her outside of rehearsal hours?” Michelle questioned.

Rosé frowned, “To be honest, I don’t really care—“

“I know you don’t which is why I’m only trying to look out for you, the media is going crazy right now and you don’t need to draw any more attention to yourself, okay?” Michelle said.

“Maybe people should just mind their own business,” Rosé muttered.

Why did this matter so much to everyone? Who cares about her past relationships, who cares about her current ones— there were more important issues to worry about in the world than who Rosé was hanging out with.

“You and I both know that’s not going to happen,”

Rosé huffed and mumbled incoherent words to herself, deciding to be done with this conversation as she gazed out the window.

“Are you okay?” It was Utica who spoke this time. She had been Rosé’s assistant for around the same amount of time that Michelle had been her manager. The girl was relatively quiet, extremely sweet and soft-spoken. She and Rosé immediately hit it off and became friends— if you could even classify your assistant as a friend.

Rosé forced a smile and nodded, “Great,”

“I’m sorry,” the redhead frowned, pushing up her glasses on her nose.

She knew what she was apologizing for and so Rosé shrugged, “Me too,”

A few moments passed in silence, the sound of Michelle’s nails typing against her phone screen along with bustling streets of Chicago was all she could focus on. “Maybe it’s not a bad thing…you know,” Utica continued, “It’s finally out…you don’t have to stress about people finding out anymore,”

Rosé knew she was trying to be helpful but it wasn’t working. “That’s not really the point,” she said.

“People are supporting you— praising you even! It’s a good thing— you don’t have to be scared anymore—“

“Stop,” she failed at saying loud enough for her assistant to hear to she continued on her rambling. “—And think about how much this could help others, right? Screw the people who are being asses because—“

“Utica, please shut up!” her tone came out harsher than she would’ve liked, she didn’t mean it. Immediately, guilt consumed her. She could no longer hear the sound of nails on glass and the whole car was silent. She faced Utica and Michelle, who were both now looking at her with concern. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get mad,”

Utica shook it off like it was nothing, “I pushed, I’m sorry— I just don’t like seeing you this way,”

Michelle reached over and rubbed a comforting hand on Rosés leg, “Sugar, we’re here for you, alright? I know this isn’t what you wanted or maybe envisioned how your whole coming out would be but honestly, who gives a rat’s ass?“

Rosé scoffed, “Uh I kind of do. I wasn’t ready for the whole fucking world to know yet,”

“And that’s fine, no one’s expecting you to be okay with it. You’re in a really shitty situation right now because no one deserves what you’re going through right now…we just want to help you. All of us, me, Utica, Symone…I don’t want you to go back…” she trailed off, not finishing her sentence.

Rosé knew exactly what she was talking about.

She didn’t want her to go back down her self-destructive path. Michelle had worked so hard to pull Rosé out of it she didn’t want to watch her succumb to her old ways.

Drinking till the sun came up. Never sleeping. Not taking care of herself.

She was getting better, finally and now, of course, her being outed to the world had to happen.

“I know,” Rosé said.

Utica turned to her, “I know you feel like a part of yourself was ruined by this but guess what? Your identity isn't worth compromising. This is who you are and once you understand that, it’ll feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. It sucks— and I’ll never be able to understand what you’re feeling right now but it only goes up from here,” she said.

“You’re the boss here. Sometimes you may lose control, but right now, you’re in the driver’s seat, sweetheart. Don’t be afraid to take the steering wheel because only you can decide what you’re going to make of this. How’s that for an analogy?” Michelle teased, trying to light up the mood in the vehicle.

The singer cracked a smile. Deep down, she knew they had a point. Rosé was only looking at the bad, terrifying and anxious parts of what happened. Maybe somewhere beneath the storm, there was a rainbow hidden amongst it.

If she had it her way, this would’ve never happened— not now at least. Not until she was ready. But then Rosé got to thinking…what if she was never ready? What if there was never a time to be ready for this kind of thing. She was terrified of the repercussions, of what people were going to say and think of her now. She knew this was going to affect her career in ways she didn’t want and she knew that going forward, it wasn’t going to be easy.

Then Michelle’s words really sunk in on her.

She had the power to change that— and she was going to.

Rosé didn’t know what was going to happen next. Rosé didn’t know what being out meant for her or her career. This whole thing fucking sucked and she would be lying if she said that being outed was a positive thing— because it definitely wasn’t.

One thing was for sure.

Rosé was in control now and she wasn’t going to let it slip away into the hands of some nosy paparazzi and the meddling media.

She was in charge.

The studio was across town making for an extremely long car ride. The traffic during the lunch rush didn’t help either. “Hey— so am I going with you to the dinner tonight? I’ll pack my medication just in case,” Utica asked.

Rosé remembered she had never told Michelle who she was bringing. “Oh, that reminds me. I invited Denali to the dinner with me,” she smiled.

“Oh, thank god,” Utica sighed in relief just as Michelle gasped, “You what?”

“I thought it would be a nice gesture since I apparently threw up in her apartment last night,” she added.

“Rosé? Are you crazy?” Michelle said.

Rosé sighed, “Pretty much, yeah,” she said. “Listen…I just really need to make things right with her, okay? Seeing her again is making me realize that all those things I felt for her— those things I felt for her ten freaking years ago, are still there…and I don’t know…”

“Do you want to get back together with her?” Utica asked. Rosé was silent as she thought.

There was no reason for her to think about it when she knew exactly what she wanted, “I mean, yeah. I never really stopped thinking about her after all these years and always thought about what I would do if I ever saw her again,”

“Showing up drunk to the first rehearsal sure put a dent in your plans,” Utica giggled but then clamped a hand over her mouth, remembering that Michelle hadn’t known about that information. “Huh, who said that?” she played it off as Rosé sighed, watching her assistant mouth a quiet apology.

“You showed up drunk to rehearsal— you know what? I don’t even want to know. Don’t make that a habit, please,” Michelle rubbed her forehead. With all the stress the singer caused, she was sure to give her manager premature wrinkles.

“I can’t believe you didn’t know that Denali Foxx was my Denali,” Rosé told Michelle.

“You never told me her last name,” she shrugged, “How was I supposed to know? Besides, the studio gave me their best choreographer— she happens to be the best so you should be thanking me, sugar”

Rosé rolled her eyes, “You literally just said I was crazy for inviting her to dinner,”

Michelle gave Rosé a pointed look, “It is, trust me. Cause last I heard you broke her heart into tiny little pieces so inviting her to a business dinner with fancy pretentious rich people wouldn’t be my first instinct when I want to apologize to someone,”

“Got a better idea?” Rosé shot back.

“Maybe talk to her…” Utica said, “Apologize properly...”

“I will— I was planning on it. I just need her to loosen up around me a little bit. She’s minutes away from chewing my head off anytime I’m near her and I turn into a freaking stuttering mess!” the pink-haired girl exclaimed.

Utica laughed, catching Rosé’s attention, “That’s cute,” she teased.

“So she just agreed to hop on a jet to New York, just like that?” Michelle frowned.

Shit.

A few minor details might’ve slipped her mind during her eagerness to persuade Denali into accepting the invitation. She wasn’t sure she even mentioned New York, let alone spending the night or taking a private jet to the city.

“...Uh I may or may not have forgotten to mention…that,” she whistled.

Utica sighed, “I’ll pack my medication—“

Rosé shook her head, “No, no. It’s fine. I’ll just tell her when we get to the studio. She’ll say yes…”

“You don’t sound convinced,” Utica pointed out.

“Thank you very much for that observation,” Rosé replied sarcastically.

Michelle groaned and rolled her eyes, “Jesus, sugar. Lord knows I can’t change your mind but just…be careful. With everything. From her emails, she seems like a nice girl and I’m sure I’ll find out tonight but…” Michelle sighed, “I just hope you know what you’re doing,” she shrugged.

Silently, Rosé agreed.

Rosé forgot to mention a little something when she had invited the brunette to dinner later that night

That it took place in fucking New York.

She was rightfully a little upset at the information Rosé shared with her when she first got to rehearsals. Unlike her, she couldn’t just go to New York on a whim when she wanted to. She knew she had already agreed to go to the dinner with Rosé but this was all a little too crazy.

A twenty-four-hour trip to New York was not what she had planned for her week.

Rosé assured her that it was all expenses paid but that was the last thing she was worried about.

Denali had no idea where she and Rosé stood right now. One minute they’re fighting, the next they’re making awkward small talk and last night she was letting Rosé cry on her shoulder. To be honest, she knew agreeing to go to dinner with her wasn’t exactly the best idea she had…but she was hoping she could talk to Rosé about what happened last night along with other things. Besides, when agreeing, she knew the pair would be surrounded by other people so it wasn’t like it would just be the two of them...alone.

So Denali said yes to dinner. She hoped it would allow her to alleviate the tension between them, making it easier for her to explain how she felt about…everything. It was eating away at her and she just needed to get these things off her chest, especially now that she had the opportunity to do so.

However, when Rosé had so casually said that it would require them flying to New York, she took a little bit to reconsider.

Because it was absolutely crazy.

Then, throughout the whole rehearsal today, Rosé was acting as if she was a regular old client…like the past couple of days hadn’t happened– it was strictly professional.

That was what she wanted though, right? She wanted the two of them to stay professional so Denali didn’t fall in deeper than she already had. So why did Denali feel a little hurt when she watched Rosé joke and talk with the other dancers while not giving her an ounce of attention besides the bomb she dropped before they started rehearsals.

Luckily for her, Mik had joined her today in the studio since his last client of the day cancelled on him, so she had him to keep her company.

But Denali was getting frustrated because she couldn’t understand why she felt this way when things were so clearly going her way. Why was she so upset about it?

Denali spent the entire rehearsal actually considering hopping on a plane to New York City for a night with Rosé.

She thought she was crazy for even considering it but Mik had a few other opinions.

“I say do it gorg,” he said. He had been watching from the sidelines the whole rehearsal. “It’s a free trip, free fancy dinner, a free night in an expensive hotel. Where’s the issue?”

“So you spent all of the rehearsal giving her dirty looks because…you want me to go?” Denali said.

“I’m your best friend, obviously I need to scare her a little bit! But Nali, it’s a trip to New York! Just because I may not like her doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the gesture— especially the value of it,” he shrugged.

“I don’t care about money, Mik. I just…” she trailed off, “You’re supposed to tell me that this is a bad idea,”

“Sorry gorg, but that’s Liv’s job— Nali, this sounds like you’re just looking for a reason not to go,”

“Well duh! This whole thing…I’m conflicted and I don’t want to give off the wrong impression, you know?”

“And that impression is?”

Denali stared at her best friend, dumbfounded, “That this— I don’t know! That it’s more than it actually is!” she sighed, “Mik, you know why…” she trailed off.

“I think that became a little too late the second you agreed to go to a business dinner…” Mik scoffed, “Like, c’mon, that’s definitely a code for something else. Why would she ask you, out of all people, to go to New York with her if it was just some random dinner,”

Denali scowled, “Gee, thanks,”

“You know what I mean though! I’m sure she could’ve gotten someone else to go with her but she asked you…and she went over to your place last night…that means something,”

“She was practically ignoring me today during rehearsals…” Denali said. She hated that it bothered her. The whole point of trying to keep things professional between the two of them was so Denali didn’t get attached— more than she already was. She didn’t think it would be good for either of them.

So why was she even agreeing to go to dinner in the first place?

“Why do you care huh? Thought you wanted it to be that way?” he smirked slightly, knowing he caught Denali in what she had been trying to avoid. “So maybe if you go…it’ll help you sort of figure out how you feel about her—“

“I already know how I feel about her,” Denali frowned. Mik gave her a look as if to say that he didn’t believe her, “Really, cause right now you don’t seem so sure— what’s the harm in going, hm? Think about it cause—“

“Hey Nali— oh, sorry. Am I interrupting?” immediately Denali and Mik put a stop to their conversation. Denali cleared her throat and shook her head, “No, no…we were just talking about…” but the brunette came up with nothing.

“We’re talking about you,” Mik plainly said. Denali slapped his shoulder and rolled her eyes, “Ow! It’s true! I’m not gonna lie to her, she can like…totally ruin my life if she wanted to!” Mik screeched.

“She’s a celebrity— not part of the fucking mafia,”

“That’s basically the same thing— I’m Mik, by the way. Denali’s best friend,” he held out his hand for Rosé to shake, who took it cautiously. “Rosé,” she introduced herself, “And I’m definitely not a part of the mafia— well not anymore,” she joked.

Mik burst out laughing, shaking his head, “I like you a little more now— hey, do you think Symone would let me do her makeup? I’ve been dying to paint her ever since—“

“Okay, okay Mik, I think it’s time to go….you don’t want to be late meeting up with Liv, right?” Denali gave him a look that she was hoping he would understand and just go along with. Mik caught on, nodding, “Right, well, Nali…have fun on your little trip. Call me or Liv if you need anything. Have fun— but not too much fun,” and with that, he was skipping down the hallway, leaving Rosé and Denali alone.

Rosé laughed, “He seems nice,”

“He’s a pain in my ass,” Denali shook her head, “So um, what did you want to talk about?”

Rosé seemed to remember what she originally came to Denali for, “Oh, right! The dinner…you’re still coming, yeah?”

She knew she should say no. The word was on the tip of her tongue, but when she opened her mouth, what she wanted to say was not what came out of her mouth, “Yeah, I’ll still go. If you want me to,”

The singer smiled, “Great! Of course, I do— sorry for the whole not telling you it was in New York— I’m just used to being around my group of people I guess,”

“Yeah, maybe warn me next time,” she laughed. She then wanted to slap herself after she realized she insinuated this was going to happen on more than one occasion.

Rosé didn’t seem to mind, “I’ll try,” she said, “Uh so, if you’re ready now, my driver is here and he’ll take us to the airport. My manager and assistant will meet us in the city,”

“Oh, well, I don’t have any other clothes with me,” Denali said. Rosé shrugged it off, “I’ll take care of that,”

Denali furrowed her eyebrows, “I also don’t have my passport with me,”

At this, Rosé smirked, “Don’t worry, you’re not gonna need one,”

A private jet.

Of course, Rosé had her own private jet, why wouldn’t she?

It was a lot.

The last time she was on a plane she was cramped between a middle-aged lady who was snoring and a guy who wouldn’t stop talking about the movie he was watching. Now she was alone with Rosé, on this big plane with things Denali didn’t even think was possible to have on a plane.

There was a whole ass shower in the back.

Besides the tour Rosé gave Denali when they first got on the jet, she didn’t remember much because she fell asleep the second the plane took off in the air. Her night of no sleep had finally caught up to her and surprisingly, she slept well.

Until Rosé awkwardly woke her up.

“We’re almost there— I thought you might want to get changed before we landed cause we’ll be going straight to the restaurant,”

She felt pretty disoriented when she woke up, suddenly remembering she was travelling thousands of feet in the air with her ex-girlfriend on her way to one of the biggest cities in the world to have dinner with her and other big named important people.

It took a few minutes but Denali managed to get up, walking down the jet until she spotted Rosé who was fixing her hair. “Did you sleep well?” the question surprised Denali but she found herself smiling at the gesture.

“I did, yeah,”

“Good...uh so I have a suitcase with some clothes on the seat over there. You can look through it and feel free to take whatever you want,” Rosé said.

Denali knew it was weird. They were tiptoeing around one another, both scared to make the wrong move. Without dwelling too much, Denali tried to focus on the fact that she was going to be in New York in less than an hour. She was going to try her best to have fun.

She moved over to where Rosé had said the suitcase was and began rummaging through it. Denali could guarantee that half of these outfits probably cost more than her rent. Even now, the two girls had vastly different styles. Rosé always went for an edgier look. From what she had seen so far, the singer’s wardrobe consisted of a lot of black, mesh, chains and anything that Denali would never wear. As for Denali, when she wasn’t in workout clothes, she always preferred that sort of classy feminine look— dresses, skirts, blouses.

While looking through the suitcase, she sorta wished she went back to her apartment quickly to grab something. It was clear by the type of clothes Rosé had in this suitcase the dinner was going to be very fancy— which only made the brunette more nervous than she already was. She was close to giving up until she dug to the very bottom, finding a little black dress that was absolutely stunning.

“You should wear that one,”

Denali was startled by Rosé’s presence behind her. She turned around and realized Rosé was done getting ready. Her jeans and graphic shirt had transformed into a matching dark red set— form-fitting pants and a blazer. The sight had Denali’s brain wandering into places it most definitely shouldn’t. She had on a bit more makeup than before and her hair was curled and sat on her shoulders perfectly.

“Denali?” Rosé called.

She shook herself out of her thoughts, “Hm? What sorry?”

Rosé laughed, “I said you can use the bathroom to get changed if you want,”

“Right,”

Before she left, Denali went into her purse and grabbed the small makeup bag she kept with her. She had learned to keep one in her purse at all times since she always found herself going on last-minute dates after her shifts at work. Denali was someone who preferred to look put together all the time but with minimal effort. Which was why she had mastered her makeup routine years ago— being able to look like she was walking a red carpet event in twenty minutes tops.

She was able to get changed, do her makeup and fix her hair in fifteen.

The dress she borrowed fit her perfectly. It fell just above her knees and the neckline was cut down the middle, making her boobs look fantastic. Luckily, she wore boots while going to work today and they ended up matching perfectly with the dress.

Opening the door to the bathroom, she just about ran into Rosé who looked like she was about to knock on the door. Immediately, she watched as the singer looked her up and down and she couldn’t lie— it felt good.

Maybe Rosé would realize what she had left behind and what she was missing.

No— she had to remind herself that this was not the time nor the place.

“Sorry, did you need the bathroom,”

Rosé blinked before shaking her head, “Uh no—“ she cleared her throat, “We’re landing soon, we need to sit down now,”

Denali smiled at her and nodded, “Okay,” and she was walking back to her seat. She turned back around when she realized Rosé wasn’t following, “You coming?”

She watched Rosé mumble something to herself before nodding. They both sat down, waiting for the plane to land in New York. Denali busied herself by going on her phone for a bit.

When they finally landed, Denali hadn’t realized how cold it actually was in the city and she shivered when they were stepping outside of the plan. Before she could go any further, Rosé called her name. Denali turned around to see Rosé holding out a leather jacket for her— her leather jacket, something Denali knew she wore religiously and had since they were kids.

She still had it after all these years.

“Don’t want you to be cold now,” she told her, thinking back to when Denali gave her a ride back to her hotel for the same reason.

It was funny to think that was just a few days ago and how much had happened.

Denali accepted the jacket, “Thanks,”

“You look really good tonight,” Rosé complimented.

“Could say the same about you,” Denali paused and then said, “Red is your colour,” she surprised herself by saying.

There were a million different ways tonight could play out and Denali was equally eager and nervous to find out.

Rosé was trying so hard not to stare at Denali but she was making it so damn hard.

The dress that she was wearing was a gift from a designer she had received ages ago. She never got the chance to wear it mainly because it wasn’t her particular style, but she was glad it found its way to the brunette sitting next to her.

She looked phenomenal.

She kept stealing glances at Denali every five seconds. She knew Michelle was going to tease her about that later ever since she made eye contact with her manager while practically drooling over Denali.

Rosé would be lying if she said that this dinner wasn’t making her nervous. It was Hytes fashion house for god’s sake— Brooke Lynn was one of the biggest designers in the country right now and it hadn’t fully sunken in yet that she could possibly be working with her.

That is if she made it through this dinner.

She was also nervous as shit because Denali was here with her. Rosé realized that tonight could go one of two ways and there was not much room in between.

Her mind was currently all over the place as she was constantly thinking about anything and everything. The media, this dinner, her music video, her album, Denali— her brain would not shut off.

She especially couldn’t stop thinking about the events of last night and it had been bumming her out all day. Every time she walked into a room today, she had received either pitiful sympathetic looks— she was tired of it. The only thing that managed to brighten up her mood was Denali. When she agreed to go to dinner, not once but technically twice, she was over the moon. Seeing her during rehearsals helped a lot too.

Although, throughout the day, she could tell that Denali wasn’t one hundred percent there with her. From years spent together, she knew how Denali acted when something was bothering her and after today, Rosé had an inkling feeling it had to do with her.

Rosé really needed a win at the moment and she hoped that tonight was going to allow that.

With introductions out of the way, the six of them were enjoying having dinner in peace. In a private room at the very back of the restaurant, she and Denali sat side by side, Michelle was on Rosé’s other side and across the table was Brooke Lynn Hytes and her wife Vanessa Mateo along with their assistant, Scarlet.

Denali got along great with everyone and they seemed to be enjoying her presence which made Rosé all the more relieved even though she didn’t doubt her in the first place.

Rosé had been on plenty of business dinners in her time and most of them have been spent talking about— well business. But not one word about the fashion campaign had been uttered by Brooke Lynn, Vanessa or their assistant. The environment was different than what she was used to, it felt a lot more chilled out and like they were actually interested in her life.

It was going well and that was all Rosé could ask for.

“You working on new music then?” Vanessa asked her.

“It been a while but yeah…been writing non-stop, going into the studio when I can— it’s all happening slowly but surely,” she smiled excitedly.

Brooke Lynn grinned, “Don’t worry, when the time comes Vanessa will be blasting your music around the house until she gets tired of it— which won’t ever happen,”

Rosé had never met Brooke Lynn or Vanessa before. Hytes fashion exploded with success only a few years ago, their innovative take on the fashion world was something new and something people had never seen. Brooke Lynn did the designing and creating while Vanessa handled the business part. Nonetheless, their success became bigger and bigger as time went on and they were the go-to names on everyone’s lists.

Through the media, Rosé realized she had been a victim of her own prejudice judgements. After seeing countless articles and interviews, Brooke Lynn always seemed very intimidating and unapproachable but as she sat with her at this table, watching her make sarcastic remarks and talk about things she never imagined a world-famous designer would talk about, she knew to never judge a book by its cover. Vanessa, on the other hand, was super carefree and loud, making Rosé laugh so much during the evening she had almost done a spit take with her wine on multiple occasions. Watching them together, Rosé could tell that the couple brought out the best in one another.

“Hey! Don’t be telling her that!” Vanessa scolded her wife who was smiling from ear to ear, “Not my fault your music makes me wanna shake ass,” she shrugged.

“And that is exactly what it’s intended for,” Rosé joked.

They asked her more questions about her upcoming music along with other projects she had planned and Rosé tried to answer them as best as she could without giving too much away. She also had to remind herself she was still on contract.

Once the food was served, conversation topics switched quickly to the vibrating brunette next to her. “What about you Denali?” Brooke Lynn asked while Denali was in the middle of her taking a sip of her wine.

She placed the glass down and smiled, “Sorry?” she asked seeming confused by the question.

“You’re a choreographer, correct?” Brooke Lynn clarified.

“Oh, yeah! I am— I mean sorta. I teach dance to little kids but I also teach exercise classes— zumba, aerobics, anything that gets middle-aged ladies excited to work out,” she chuckled.

“Vanessa used to teach dance too,” Brooke Lynn said as she glanced at her wife lovingly.

“Yeah and I wanted to strangle every single one of those little monsters,” she grumbled.

The table burst out laughing and Denali nodded in acknowledgement, “Honestly, half the time I wanna strangle the parents more— it’s been a nice change of pace working with Rosé. You know, there’s no mom screaming in my ear and calling me a bitch when I refuse to let her daughter run around and lick the mirrors so…” she shrugged and once again, laughter erupted around the table.

“I’ll take that as a compliment— I’m a delight to work with,” Rosé added and quickly shared a look with Denali, flashing her a smile.

“Yeah so don’t let it get to your head,” Denali teased.

“Hang on, working with— I thought you guys were together? Like dating?” Scarlet, who hadn’t been talking very much during dinner, asked innocently as she pointed her finger between the two of them.

The air in the restaurant shifted, a sudden awkward silence surrounding them.

“No,” Denali cleared her throat and plainly stated, “We aren’t,”

Rosé was taken aback by the tone of her voice and the way she said it. Almost like that was the worst thing Scarlet could’ve assumed.

Scarlet was either extremely oblivious or just didn’t care and liked pushing people’s buttons, “Really? So you never dated at all? But the articles—”

Denali smiled uncomfortably, “We were together and now we’re not,” she said, “Simple as that,”

Scarlet nodded and took a bite of her food, not noticing the warning looks Brooke Lynn was throwing her, “I guess I just thought that with the pictures and you coming to this dinner yall were like secretly dating after—“

“Well, we’re not! So just drop it, okay?” Denali snapped.

“Alright— I think we get it Miss Envy,” Brooke Lynn interrupted harshly, saving her from any further embarrassment if she were to open her mouth once more. Scarlet’s mouth formed an ‘o’ as she realized her mistake and her face flushed. It was quiet for a few moments, no one in the room was sure what to say next.

“This rigatoni is really good,” Michelle commented but Rosé wasn’t sure anything would save the mood. Denali’s chair screeched when she moved to get up, “Excuse me,” and Rosé watched her disappear around the corner.

Rosé met Scarlet’s eyes and she genuinely looked like she was going to cry. “I am so sorry— I-I didn’t mean to cause anything, I was just curious and it was inappropriate of me to even mention it,” she whimpered, probably scared that Brooke Lynn or Vanessa would fire her and honestly, she wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

Rosé nodded, “I’m gonna go see if she’s okay,” she told the table and got up, following the same pathway Denali took. When she was walking away, she could already hear Brooke Lynn beginning to scold the assistant. She checked the bathroom first but it was empty when she poked her head in.

She couldn’t have gone far. She did notice that Denali grabbed her bag but she doubted she would go off alone in a city where she wasn’t familiar with her surroundings.

Instead of causing a scene while running around the restaurant shouting her name, she stopped a waitress who was walking and asked if she had seen someone who fit Denali’s description. Surprisingly, she nodded and pointed towards the back exit of the restaurant.

Of course. The two of them entered the restaurant this way so Rosé wouldn’t draw attention to herself since the restaurant seemed to have lingering paparazzi staked out in the front.

Opening the back door, the cold air made her shiver since she had taken off her blazer not long after they arrived at the restaurant. Glancing from left to right, it wasn’t difficult to spot the figure leaning against the beige walls of the building. There was a small flicker of fire moving around in the dark as Denali caught her eye.

“Mind if I bum one?” she asked, shuffling towards her. Denali took out the cigarettes and a lighter from her bag and handed them wordlessly to Rosé. They smoked alongside each other in the darkness, the noise of the busy streets filling the air.

The brunette crushed her cigarette on the bottom of her foot when she was done and crossed her arms, “Did I ruin your dinner?” she asked quietly.

Rosé blew out some smoke, “You didn’t,”

Denali shrugged, “Probably shouldn’t have screamed at her though,”

“It was either you or Brooke Lynn so if I were Scarlet, I’d call that a win,”

“Everyone’s seen that picture then, hm,” Denali said. Rosé sighed, putting out her cigarette and moving closer to stand next to her, “Seems like it…does it bother you?”

“What? You mean my life being discussed by people who know nothing about it or me? The fact that people think they deserve a right to know what’s going on in my private life because I drove you home once,” she snapped, “Yeah, it bothers me,”

Rosé understood how she felt. She had been feeling like that for the last ten years. “You just gotta ignore it,” she tried to reassure her. People moved on quickly. Sure it would be the hot Hollywood gossip right now but in two weeks the public will move on to the next celebrity pregnancy or some sort of cheating scandal. “Besides, would it really be that bad?”

“What?”

“I don’t know,” Rosé shrugged, “It’s not the end of the world if people think we’re dating…we were so…” she trailed off.

Rosé wanted to tell her how she felt. She wanted to tell her how she was still in love with her, how she wanted a second chance, how sorry she was about what she did and how she would do whatever it took to fix it.

But it was too late.

“Were. Past tense. We aren’t anymore and haven’t been for ten fucking years. Of course, it would be bad! Rosé, I have a life and I don’t need your name attached to mine for the rest of it! Do you know how many dirty looks from teenagers I’ve gotten since that goddamn picture came out? I don’t want this and I never will,”

“Alright, geez...just relax, it’ll blow over soon anyways,” Rosé muttered, becoming slightly irritated.

“How can you be so chill about this? Do you care? At all? You might be used to this but I most certainly am not. I don’t drive in a car with tinted windows, I don’t have a six-foot-five buff guy following me five days out of the week, I don’t wear sunglasses in the middle of the night and I sure as hell don’t take the back exit to get into a restaurant,” she said, “How are you not freaking the hell out,”

She was right, none of this was normal for the average person so she didn’t blame her for being a little anxious, scared even. But she hated the way Denali was acting like this was all her fault as if she had any control over what happened, “And who said I wasn’t?” Rosé said, “Every single time my name is coming out of someone’s mouth I freak out because I never know if it’s going to be good or bad. I have been freaking out since the very beginning of my career, I’ve just learned how to deal with it after so long,” she snapped, “I get that this is fucked up but you can’t be blaming me for this. I don’t want this just as much as you,”

She watched Denali take a deep breath, “I’m not trying to blame you. I’m sorry...this is all just— well it’s too fucking much to deal with,”

Rosé nodded, “I know...look, let’s just go back inside, Scarlet will apologize to you, you can apologize to Scarlet and all will be right in the world,” Rosé gestured towards the door and started heading towards it. She turned back around once she realized Denali was making no move to follow her and instead was staring back at her with an angry expression.

“And why am I apologizing exactly?” she spat.

Rosé rolled her eyes, “Well you did yell at her, storm off in the middle of an important dinner— my important dinner so I don’t know, it’s only common fucking courtesy after you almost made someone cry”

Denali glared at her, “Are you kidding me right now?” Denali groaned, “If you really think I’m going to go back in there and apologize after Scarlet threw our personal business in our face, I think it’s time you lay off the wine!” she said.

“It was an accident, she probably didn’t realize she was upsetting you,” Rosé sighed.

“This has to be a joke,” Denali mumbled to herself, “God, can you make up your mind? Five fucking minutes ago you just said I didn’t ruin your stupid dinner and now what? You’ve changed your mind? You agree with me until you realize that it affects you cause god forbid you might not be untouchable for once!”

“Denali, I’m going to get in trouble for this— please, just stop letting your pride get in the way!” Rosé just wanted to end this conversation as fast as she could.

Denali scoffed, “That’s rich, coming from you,” she shook her head, “Do you have any idea how infuriating you are? I can never get a read on you, you act so indifferent to everything all the damn time and your moods switch faster than I have time to keep up! What the hell do you want from me?” Denali choked out and Rosé knew instantly she was seconds away from tears.

But Rosé was already fired up, “And you don’t? All I want is for things to go back to normal! God, Nali every time I see I think we’re making some sort of progress and then you shut me out like you always do!” Rosé frowned.

“Because you keep acting like the last ten years didn’t happen! I don’t know what normal is with you anymore...I am not the same, why don’t you understand that?” she said, “When are we going to stop pretending?”

“About what?” Rosé frowned.

“Us!...about us, Rosé...” Denali hopelessly said, “We aren’t together anymore and we’re not friends…I don’t even know what’s real anymore and…I just— I can’t keep doing this. Jesus, I shouldn’t have even come here, what the hell was I thinking—“ Rosé watched as Denali walked away from her, but not towards the exit and instead down the alleyway and to the streets of New York. Denali didn’t turn back or even acknowledge the singer as she called out her name repeatedly, watching her eventually disappear around the corner of the building.

Fuck.

Somehow Rosé knew the night was far from over.

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