#cannot get used to Diederich

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

Ahhhhh!!!! Where’s my Superman???

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Only Vampires

(Story Post)

Nari wasn't sure why he trusted these two vampires, but he wanted to know what they knew and so he followed them to their home. They didn't live more than a block north of where the library stood. They must've lived there a long time to afford such a big house, but then again, he had no idea what the housing market was like here. Either way, any active and diligent vamp over 100 years old could secure themself considerable wealth if they tried. Nari himself hadn't focused on capital during the majority of his life though, but he still did well for himself. The front doors of the house were very big, with stained glass windows, but Wesley and Everett took him around to the back door which was average sized and let no light in. This wasn't an issue right now as it was an hour to midnight, but he guessed that any daytime travel came through here, so they'd grown accustomed to it.

Inside was a small mudroom with another door at the other end. Nari waited for Everett to take off his shoes before he removed his own because wasn't sure what the traditions were in this country, but he was only further confused when Wesley took his shoes off but Everett kept them on. “Um, shoes on or off?” Nari had to ask. Wesley wacked Everett's leg with his loafer. “Shoes off, please.” Nari was relieved and did as told. “Alright.” “I'm not sure why we adopted that,” Everett said, reluctantly removing his footwear and then promptly putting on a pair of slippers. “My family always wore their shoes inside, his family wore shoes inside… Not to mention, it doesn't matter at all what Wesley wears.” “It's for our housemates,” Wesley said. “We have several housemates from across the world, you'll find Nari. The general consensus has been shoes off. We do our best to be accommodating.” He then proceeded to pull out a set of wheel slippers and socks and maneuvered them onto his chair. Nari thought for a second and then raised a hand. “I hope you don't think I need somewhere to stay. I'm well established.” “No, no,” Wesley said. “We just like to help anyone when it comes to library matters. As you may have noticed, it is not very accessible to all vamps of all shapes, abilities, and colours. We like to help anyone find the knowledge they need.” Nari nodded. “I see. So you steal the books for them.” “I told you, we borrow them,” Everett said as he led them through to the main hall. “Evie does think of himself as a modern-day Robin Hood of Knowledge, though,” Wesley said. The main hall was a lot more modern than Nari expected for a house apparently full of vampires. It was open concept with a lovely kitchen with granite counter tops. Further on was the living room and stairs, both up to the next floor and down to the basement. An elevator had also been installed beside the stairs for easier access to all floors. Nari’s hosts took him down to the basement, which was set up as a games room and study. There was pool, and darts, and even a pinball machine on one side. Some lounge chairs, a sofa, and a set of bookshelves on the other. There, they found another pair of vampires, one with her nose in a book, the other passed out on the couch, an open book on his chest. “Ah, glad some of you are here,” Wesley said going over to the reading nook. “Inaya, please meet Nari. We met him at the library.” The conscious vampire got up and smiled. She wore a hijab and had big round eyes framed with detailed eyeliner. She offered a hand to Nari. “Nice to meet you. Are you looking at a room?” “No, no, I’m just getting a little extra help with my research,” Nari said shaking her hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve never met, well, a vampire like you.” “A hijabi vampire?” Inaya chuckled. “Me neither. That’s why I’m here.” “To find more?” Nari asked. “No, to learn about being a vampire,” Inaya said. “I didn��t know anything about them really until I was turned, and I didn’t have any other vampires around to teach me. Figuring out how to be a vampire and muslim at the same time is difficult. Blood is haram, you see.” “Ah.” Nari nodded. “Have the books been helpful?” “Some, yes. Wesley seems to know how to find me good reads,” Inaya said. “I’ve tried entering the library on my own, but it’s always been a hassle. They always find some excuse not to let us in.” “I understand,” Nari said rollimg his eyes. “It's a different excuse each time.” Everett went over and kicked the end of the couch to wake its occupant. “Rise, Jeremiah! Meet our guest!” Wesley frowned. “Evie, let the boy sleep. He's probably been studying tirelessly, the poor kid.” It was too later however and the sleepy vampire stirred and sat up, rubbing his eyes. The book he had been reading fell off his chest and onto the floor. The bang made him curse and scramble to pick it up. “Shit, it better not be busted… These old ass books…” “Language, Jeremiah. You know the rules,” Everett scolded. “Shit, sorry, Ev,” the vampire huffed. “Not my fault you woke me up.” “I have half the mind to discipline you,” Everett said, crossing his arms. “Yeah, that’ll look good, you pasty old Brit beating my black ass…” the young vampire mocked. He noticed Nari. “Who’s this little mosquito?” Wesley put a hand on Nari's shoulder. “This is Nari. We're helping him in his research.” The other got up and offered a hand to the newcomer. “It's Jez, but these old farts insist on calling me by my whole name like they're my damn mother or something.” Everett huffed. “Seriously, if you don't straighten out your language, I'll—” “The entire concept of vulgar language is inherently racist,” Jez interrupted, his entire diction changing just to prove a point to old Everett. “My use of swearing is not abusive, but instead cathartic, emphatic and idiomatic, forms of swearing that are not meant to offend anyone. For you to tell me what words I can and cannot say is a blatant form of oppression and reduces my abilities to cope with pain or misfortune.” Everett frowned, his lips pursed. “Fine. But could you tone it down just a bit?” “No.” Wesley came up behind Everett and patted his back. “Relax. We're all adults. Anyway, where's Paolo?” “He's in his room,” Inaya said. “Probably working.” “Ah, okay. Nari can meet him later,” Wesley said approaching the coffee table. From out of nowhere, he pulled out a book and offered it to Inaya. “I found an Arabic tome with stories from Turkey in it. I’m hoping it might help you.” “Oh! Maybe!” Inaya took the book gratefully. “I appreciate it, Wes!” “Where did you pull that book from?” Nari asked, a bit dumbfounded. “The library?” Wesley said, a little confused by the question. “No, I mean… I didn't notice it on your person before,” Nari said. “Oh! It's pocket magic,” Wesley said. “Easier than carrying them around.” “Pocket magic is some real basic level shit,” Jez said, eyeing Nari. “If you don't know that, what abilities do you have?” Nari shook his head. “…I never learned vampire magic. Well, except a blood purifying spell I found the other day.” Everett placed his hands on Nari's shoulders. “Oh dear, so you've just been going about your life with all the cons and none of the pros to the whole vampire thing? Sounds miserable!” Nari frowned. “I didn't know I could learn any of it…” “You absolutely can!” Everett said. “We will show you the basics.” “Honestly, it's fine…” Nari said. “I don't plan on sticking around long, and my partner has enough magic for the both of us…” “Your partner knows magic but you didn't know you could learn it?” Inaya asked. “They didn't try to teach you?” “He’s not a vampire,” Nari said. “He doesn't know what I'm capable of doing as one.” “What is he, then?” Jez asked. “A dragon?” “No, he's a wizard,” Nari said. “A wizard?” Wesley inquired, his voice a little concerned. “Like, a human wizard?” “Uh, yes,” Nari said. “The magic isn't the same, though he's convinced he can learn vampire stuff…” Everett started shaking his head. “Do you always engage in romantic relationships with humans?” “Yes.” Nari frowned, reading the negative energy coming from his acquaintances. “You say that like it's bad. Are you going to tell me we're not supposed to do that? It's taboo or something?” “No, it's fine! I mean…” Everett put his hands on Wesley's shoulders. “He was unturned when I fell for him…” “But we weren't trying to reproduce, that’s for sure,” Wesley said. He placed a hand on Nari’s arm. “It’s no wonder you’ve been having trouble… You can't have children with humans. It never works.” Nari clenched his jaw. “That's not…My information came to a 1-in-8 chance that a vampire can complete live birth.” “It's more complicated than that,” Everett said, pulling out one of the books be grabbed. “It's likely the one successful time out of eight, their partner was another vampire. The odds are much better with two vampires. Like, 1-in-3.” He opened to a page that displayed a large family tree on it. “Any time in history that a vampire successfully completed a pregnancy, both parents were vampires. Any pairings with children from one unturned and a vampire were from before the vampiric parent had turned. Or, there has also been the occasional time a vampire sired a child with an unturned person, but it is rarer.” Nari frowned and sat down on the couch. “But…I… Isn’t there any magic that can help?” Wesley shook his head. “Not that we've found. Your best bet is to try with a vampire.” “But I don't want a child from someone else…” Nari said. “I want one with Diederich.” “I'm surprised you even date unturned,” Jez commented. “It's sad stuff watching humans grow old and die all the time…” “Diederich isn't just any human, he's immortal too,” Nari said. “He knows really powerful skills and spells.” Jez rolled his eyes. “So, easy fix. Just turn him.” Nari shook his head. “No, I can't do that.” “I could teach you,” Everett said. “Or I could do it.” Nari glared. “No, I don't want to turn him. I wouldn't do that to someone.” Everett sighed. “Nari, I don't know what to tell you. Your goal is to have a baby with your partner. Both of you need to be vampires for that to happen. That's all there is. We don't have any other advice.” Nari looked down at his hands, his eyes brimming with tears. “So, all those times I tried… Complete waste of time...” Wesley rubbed Nari’s shoulder. “You didn't know…” He looked to Everett. “Would you give us a moment? All of you.” “Of course, love,” Everett said, kissing Wesley on the forehead. “Come along now, children.” “We are not your kids,” Jez groaned as he got up reluctantly and followed Inaya and Everett upstairs. Once they were alone, Wesley sighed and rubbed Nari's arm. “Before you turned, did you have any children?” Nari slowly and sniffled. “Yes… My son, Tae-seok. He was just a baby when I turned…” “Is he alive?” Wesley asked. “No… He passed away around the turn of the millennia…” Wesley sighed. “When did you start trying for another baby?” “We tried for several years when Tae-seok was young… But his father, Eun-young, died in a factory accident when Tae-seok was still a child. I didn't try again until well after my son passed away too.” “With your current partner?” Wesley asked. Nari shook his head. “No, my previous relationship. It was an accident… But I wanted it to work out. I had a little hope.” “I'm really sorry, Nari,” Wesley said. “It must be difficult to hear about the circumstances of your pursuit… And I'm sorry about Evie. He thinks turning people will always fix everything. It doesn't.” “But he's right though… If Diederich were a vampire, we'd have a much better chance,” Nari said spreading his hands. “If he were turned, we could try…” Wesley shook his head. “I can tell, you don't want to do that. It sounds like your experience with being a vampire has been more negative than positive and you don't want to subject someone else to that.” “I don't. Diederich is… He’s so lovely, and he's happy…” Nari said. “I don't want to take that from him.” “I understand. It isn’t easy. I don't always love being a vampire either… And I certainly wouldn't make that decision for someone else,” Wesley said. “You do realise that if you did manage to give birth to a baby, you'd be choosing a life as a vampire for them too?” Nari blinked. “Yes, but… I…” He paused. “…With Diederich, since he's unturned, I thought that they might not be…” “Well, even if you could reproduce with a normal human being, you’re a vampire. Your kids would be vampires.” Nari grit his teeth. “…I guess I just…you know, if I could have a baby again, I didn't care what they were… But now just saying it, that’s sounds so incredibly selfish… To subject my own child to the exact same curse I've suffered for their entire life…” Wesley rubbed Nari's knee. “I think you need to think about your situation and talk to your partner. Really work out what path makes the most sense for both of you, and any possible children in the mix. What's best for everyone is what is important.” Nari nodded slowly. “Yes… I just want to be with Diederich… I should go…” Wesley checked his watch. “Where are you staying? Evie can drive you over.” “It's okay, I can walk…” “No way, this time of night, any drunk vampires tumbling out of a bar will want to pick a fight, and while I'm not saying you can't hold your own, you don't know much magic and vampires around the library know their stuff.” Nari sighed and told Wesley his hotel. “I do appreciate you guys trying to help me… You’re honestly the nicest vampires I've ever met.” “Aw, it's nothing,” Wesley said going to the elevator. “Each of us understands the difficulty of being accepted in the vampire world. But we've been very lucky and those who have should give.” “So, is this sort of a boarding house for vampires using the library?” Nari asked. “Sort of… We keep the rent super cheap though because the house was paid off many, many years ago. Our housemates just split utilities. Evie and I cover the taxes and insurance.” Wesley smiled. “If you ever need somewhere to stay, we'll be here. First month is free for long term. Of course, we won't charge you if you just want to come over and visit.” Nari nodded. “That's more than generous, thank you.” They rode the elevator together and met with Everett at the back of the house. “Good talk?” Everett asked, spinning his car keys. “Yes, I think so,” Wesley said. “Inaya and Jeremiah are back in their rooms, then?” “Yeah.” Everett unlocked the door. “Alright, Nari. We won't keep you any longer than you'd like. Wes said you needed a ride, yes? Come along.” Nari blinked. “When did he tell you?” “Come on, now.” Everett placed his hands on his hips. “You really do need a rundown on basic magic. You could teach toddlers mind connection.” “I really don't know anything, then…” Nari frowned following him out. Wesley waved as they left. “Hope to see you soon!” Nari waved again before going to the garage with Everett. “You should consider coming back tomorrow night,” Everett said, unlocking the car. “Jeremiah will teach you everything you need to know.” “I might take him up on that. At least I'll have gotten something out of this trip.” “Well, there you go. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” “Hm… Yes, I suppose.” “Oh, and you still have to meet Paolo! He’s Asian like you too! Wouldn’t guess from his name though, would you?” “You really don’t think before you speak, do you?” “Hey, respect your elders.” “Sorry, grandpa.”

[dreadhaus-literature]

{Character Study} Diederich Frost

I have been reading a lot of research books lately, trying to hone my talent into something useable, and trying to get my head in the right space to write again. One of those books is, “Write Characters Your Readers Won’t Forget” by Stant Litore; another highly rated/recommended writing tool from Amazon, and that book comes with exercises! So we’re going to take a first pass at them with a newly created OC.

I won’t say it’s been a while since I’ve created characters, because it hasn’t been, but any practice is good practice, right? Right.

The book interested me simply because I want to write good characters--which I know is a stupid thing to say, lmao, as an author that’s like half my goddamn job. But that’s why I want to be good at it! And practice makes perfect.

This will be on-going, since there’s an entire booklet full of exercises, so I’ll just reblog and add to the post as I read. P:

The character I’ve decided to use is from my first group of 10 drabbles from my Shots in the Dark collection.

#10, Diederich, who will be henceforth known by his full name--

Diederich Karsten Frost

Exercise One - Write down your character’s critical ingredient, that one defining strength that everyone will know them for. If you don’t know yet, make it up.

Well I don’t know yet, because I only wrote about Diederich once and it was for like half a page--so we’re going to make it up.

Diederich’s defining strength is that he is unrelenting.

Exercise Two - Take another look at your character’s one great strength. How might that same strength set them up for disaster? Brainstorm a little.

Oh ho, this is surprisingly easy. I don’t know Diederich very well yet but what I do know about him is that he’s a ruthless businessman, has the money to show for it, because he’s unrelenting, unyielding, a mountain in the face of a hurricane--but where that strength will fail him? When he has to bend for love, for the one in his life who means the most. He’s a man used to getting what and who he wants, so when he’s told no...

It’s going to be difficult for all parties involved.

Water can eventually wear down rock but it takes centuries, and that’s the kind of patience I imagine Diederich’s lover will have to have if they want to gain any ground with this man. He’s going to be difficult to get to bend and similar to ice he’s likely to shatter into something sharp rather than give to the will of others.

Diederich’s strength makes him severe, which is not always a good thing, especially outside the boardroom.

Exercise Three - “What is the worst thing you could possibly do to your character?” It’s a great question to ask when you’re wanting to learn about what your character is made of, so ask that question now, with a bit of a twist.

“What is the worst thing you could possibly do to your character, that they would be least equipped to handle? Brainstorm that.

And once you’ve crafted their greatest tragedy, ask the next question: How can this character use their one great strength to help them meet the problem head-on?

When I first wrote Diederich he was just supposed to be a flash!OC for an Obsessives drabble set. He existed to fill a void, of a slightly deluded narcissist who was left reeling from rejection/abandonment, so taking that into consideration...I’m going to say the worst thing I could possibly do to Diederich is to take that desired love away.

His drabble opened and closed with him seeking the love he’d only held briefly and how it was sending him spiraling to lose it. Diederich is a controlling person; he isn’t going to know how to deal with the free will of his lover and what that means for him. He can’t 100% control love or the object of his desire and that fear becomes realized as soon as she’s gone. It’s going to cripple him in multiple ways; he feels he’s failed, an emotion he absolutely cannot deal with, and the abandonment, the loss, is a wound to his massive pride. It’s going to consume him like rot, until he can’t stand it marring his otherwise perfect life. He’s ill-equipped to sit with failure.

In short? He won’t be able to stand it. It’ll drive him insane.

But, it happens to work out perfectly: his one great strength, his unrelenting personality won’t allow him to quit, to rest, until he’s found his love and righted his world on it’s axis. Diederich can’t be, won’t be stopped.

No matter what.

Exercise Four - Write a 1-2 paragraph, unique character entrance scene. Try to make it impactful!

The illumination coming off the five star hotel shimmered as it split the night, parting shadows like the red sea to make way for one undeniably important man. The crowd on the sidewalk seemed to follow suit, halting in their steps to make room for broad shoulders near stretching the seams of finely tailored cloth as the occupant of the expensive towncar placed first one, then two polished dress shoes on the sidewalk. As he straightened up, onlookers hesitant to pass by were struck by an impressive stature attributed to fine breeding that could only come from living within the upper echelon of society for centuries.

Eyes so blue they were nearly ice white sliced cleanly straight ahead, no sideways glance because it was apparent this man had no time nor care to know who was around. The driver standing by the open door could possibly double for security but it was hard to imagine a man so tall, so statuesque truly needed it; his presence not only exuded importance but malice, so that small children might actually scurry out of his way. The sharp clack of dress shoes heralded his long strides, drawing one’s attention up from pressed slacks to the length of a wool-lined trench, buttoned against a no doubt trim and toned middle. Large hands were cradled in the softest Italian leather and when he reached up to his breast pocket for a single crisp $100 bill to hand to the doorman, all those onlookers could see were the cut of cheekbones that could no doubt make fast work of a piece of glass. This man had enviable bone structure; Old World in that his cheeks were square and his chin slightly pointed, angled to bring attention to a jawline that went on for days. His nose had only the faintest of a curve to it, right at the tip, so that when he was staring down at some unfortunate soul they’d only be forced to follow that curve right back up to those unforgivingly cold eyes. Complimentary to his pale eyes and skin, his blond hair was a silvery flaxen in shade and in cut the sides were shaved but the top left long and slicked back--akin to a shark’s white fin just barely breaking the surface of moonless ocean waves.

Anyone who didn’t know Diederich Frost was always left wanting to after laying eyes on him for the first time.

Exercise Five - Now, write a new entry scene for the same character, but if in the first attempt you used dialogue, now do the entry with no dialogue. And if in the first attempt you didn’t use dialogue, do it almost entirely through dialogue this time.

...Goddamnit.

I FELT REALLY GOOD ABOUT THE FIRST ONE BECAUSE I CAN WRITE ME SOME DESCRIPTION. But how the fuck am I gonna make this man’s entrance with DIALOGUE.

Goddamnit.

“Mr. Frost is on his way up,” came the understandably frantic voice of the aforementioned Mr. Frost’s assistant. The young man was desperate to make a good impression on the owner of this prestigious company and though fresh-faced and college enrolled, Sacha felt he was up to the task. He hoped, anyway.

“W-What should I do?” Unlike Sacha, who had been Mr. Frost’s assistant for the past six months, this new hire, Norbert, was struggling. Sacha thought it would be a miracle if the shorter brunette made it through the end of the week.

“Fix your tie,” Sacha hissed, his back to the elevator as he prepared Mr. Frost’s cup of coffee. “Stand up straight, don’t stare and don’t you dare call Mr. Frost by his first name again.”

Norbert flushed strawberry, pudgy fingers pushing the wrinkles from his tie. “It w-was an accident!”

“Yes well your firing won’t be if it happens again.” Sacha dropped the statement with the same finality he set the square cup of coffee on it’s saucer, steaming hot and waiting for Mr. Frost like the rest of his obedient staff. Sacha set the saucer on the top of his desk, facing the elevator as the car made it’s way up, announcing their arriving boss with each click of the lighted panel above the doors. Sacha spot out of the corner of his mouth, hands clasped behind his back, still facing the elevator. “Mr. Frost has a full day of meetings ahead, Norbert, so I’ll handle his refreshments and meals while you’ll take care of...?”

“His dry cleaning, getting his car washed, and picking up his tailored suits from Mr. Favero.” Norbert was proud to keep his usual anxious stammer from his voice but Sacha didn’t even seem to notice--and if he did, he didn’t care to remark on it.

The small victory was quickly forgotten when the gleaming elevator doors opened and Mr. Diederich Frost stepped out onto his office floor. The entire building was his company, but this top floor was reserved for the illustrious owner and his assistants, giving him plenty of room to work undisturbed.

“Good morning, Mr. Frost.” Sacha spoke first, almost eagerly, and Norbert had to quietly admire how easy it seemed to be for Sacha to speak to Diederich. Norbert sometimes forgot his own name when those ice blue eyes stared him down.

“G-Good morning,” Norbert had all but lost ground from his earlier feat of not stammering. He cleared his throat, knowing it wouldn’t help.

Their boss, Diederich Frost, was a statuesque man of impeccable breeding and class, born with a silver spoon in his mouth but he did the polishing himself. There was no resting on laurels for Diederich; ambition lined his already swollen pockets until there were rumors he could buy their country and have enough left over to still maintain his $500 a month haircuts. Normally, Norbert would think that was an exorbitant amount of money to spend on a haircut but Diederich’s silvery blond hair turned heads just as often as the rest of him did. Whether it was his flaxen hair, his sharp cheekbones, or his deeply accented voice, Diederich Frost was the man to know. Norbert just didn’t think he could get the sentence, “I know Diederich Frost,” out of his mouth without his blood pressure dropping.

“Messages.” Diederich’s voice was like an anvil, dropping period where others would hang questions marks, but Sacha didn’t miss a beat.

“Your brother called, he’s still insisting you come out for the weekend,” Sacha recited the messages by memory, even as he gave Norbert a pointed look to pick up Mr. Frost’s coffee and follow them into his expensive, lavish office. “Your aunt’s birthday is tomorrow and I confirmed the delivery of her favorite flowers as always, and lastly Mr. Price called for the fifth time, still looking to sell.”

Norbert took a steadying, albeit quick breath as he hurried to place Mr. Frost’s coffee on his desk, just in time for his boss to sit down in his desk chair and nail him to the floor with those icy eyes. Diederich didn’t say a word, merely met Norbert’s gaze evenly, giving the shorter male plenty of time to see Diederich’s expensive three-piece blue suit was a direct compliment to pale porcelain skin. It was also just long enough to see Diederich’s eyes narrow because Norbert had been staring. The male cleared his throat again and backed up to stand beside Sacha, who was giving him a pointed side-ways stare.

Diederich didn’t thank Sacha for his hard work or excellent delivery but that wasn’t unusual either. Earning a thanks from this hard-working perfectionist took far more impressive feats than simple recitation. Norbert had yet to receive a single one.

“My first meeting is in--”

“Thirty minutes, sir.” Sacha supplied before Diederich could outright ask. The older male simply nodded and took a small drink from his coffee.

“Then get my brother on the line.” Diederich directed to Sacha, before sparing Norbert another glance, disapproval darkening harsh features until it was akin to staring into the eye of a hurricane. “...And straighten your tie, son.”

Norbert was far more likely to hang himself with it in the employee bathroom.

BOY IDK IF THAT WAS WHAT THE EXERCISE MEANT BUT I SURE HOPE SO. Literally don’t know how to write only dialogue, that’s just not...idk, a mix of dialogue/description is fine with me? That’s about as dialogue-centric as my writing ever gets, I find it’s so important (at least for me) to add in little snippets of description, like sprinkling salt. just call me Salt Bae.

Exercise Six - Write the same entry a third time, but this time, change the setting and the situation. Try taking your character out of their comfort zone or put them somewhere they’re unlikely to be.

The joyous, loud cries of children at play announced Birthday Party! long before anyone could lay eyes on the balloons and banners that decorated the park’s picnic area. It was a large, usually populated public park but today was entirely off-limits to the general public, bought for a full 24 hours by the Frost family to celebrate little Alexandra Frost’s seventh birthday. Children of all ages ran and skipped, frolicked and played amongst the playground equipment and bounce houses, while adults sipped alcohol, ate finger foods, and escaped the waning Summer sun inside air-conditioned tents.

No expense was spared for the little princess of the Frost family, niece to none other than Diederich Frost, who had made quite a name for himself on the international business scene. The infamously ruthless billionaire was of course present, dressed in what to him was likely casual; pressed slacks and a designer sweater, but he still stood out in the crowd. He didn’t appear to belong at a children’s party; he was all hard, cold lines and nowhere was that more noticeable than standing beside his younger brother, who was a father of two. Diederich had no children and thus had not been softened by fatherhood; he was all business, all the time, and if one were to pay close attention the majority of the children steered clear of the long-legged Uncle to Alexandra. The birthday girl in question adored her Uncle but why wouldn’t she? He showered her with expensive gifts and she had nothing to fear from ice blue eyes and the hard line of his jaw. Diederich had never been cross with her a day in his life, but the list of people he wasn’t cross with could be counted on a person’s left hand. Diederich looked as mean as he was; high-cut cheekbones, a harsh line to his mouth, and silvery blond hair kept slicked back did everything to add to the air of crackling menace that surrounded the man heads and shoulders taller than most. He was a storm cloud, a single bolt of lightning one doesn’t see until it’s too late and you’re left singed from the contact you didn’t expect amongst the chorus of, “Happy birthday dear Alexandra, happy birthday to you!”

I’ll admit, imagining Diederich at a kid’s birthday party tickled me. He’s shaping up to be such a Type-A, no-nonsense asshole it’s hilarious to imagine him surrounded by balloons and shouting kiddos. He reminds me of the quote from Angela in the Office.

“I wouldn’t mind a pair of well-behaved boys.”

That’s about all I have time for tonight, but I will say, I’ve never really thought about character entrances very much before beginning to read this book. They liken to being out on a first date; it’s your reader’s first impression of your character and you want them hooked right away. Why should they give a damn about your character? You have to make them see what’s so special about them, sort of like...selling your character, I guess?

...I went from a date situation to human trafficking but whatever.

THE POINT IS. I am now realizing that the way characters are introduced is actually pretty important. I mean that was the majority of the exercises tonight, writing and then re-writing the entry scene to see how many different ways I could introduce you to Diederich. Even out of his element he still has to be himself, after all, and that right there is why I think this is important--you’re essentially creating a person, and people have to be adaptable. If your characters are so one-sided they can only exist in a very specific box...then they’re not very good characters.

All in all, I’m pretty pleased with the work I did tonight. I took a character that was interesting to me and actually made something of him. He’s around, now. I hear his voice and I can see him, and that’s pretty rad.

Looking forward to picking this back up soon and seeing what else Mr. Frost has to say~

[fuguewriter]

Will Provoke Your Thoughts ... Could Change Your Life

A review of The Last Year by Amelia Banis - BalboaPress - 216 pages - ISBN 978-1504397575 - Amazon page

Let's start at the beginning: it took a long time to write this review - to be able to write this review - because this book was so singular, in such unobvious ways, that the musing after finishing took far longer than the reading. This is a first indication that a book has much within it: that it isn't swallowed like a cultural chicken nugget and forgotten, but that it demands engagement - unless one only wants a chicken nugget, consumed and then no more. One supposes some could take this book that way, but this reader is not one of them. So it's the path of the unique meal of unexpected delicacies and resonances that keeps nourishing long after one (thinks one) has risen from the table.

On the face of it, the story is simple and clear. Amelia Banis was an adopted child who had a fraught relationship with her adoptive father, Diederich - German-born, fatefully so in 1938, who survived World War II and his father's time in a Soviet prison camp to become almost a caricature of the closed, reactive Teutonic patriarch. His Swiss-born wife, Lilia, is Diederich's polar opposite in her kind, quiet ethereality. Between these two extremes Amelia grows up, and one senses that from the beginning Amelia and Diederich are naturally entangled, the more so for the Diederich refusing to admit the existence of any emotions save irritation, exasperation, and anger - determinedly directed at all but himself.

The Last Year is a memoir compounded of a beginning in the big picture and zeroing down inexorably into an event-by-event recounting of the eponymous final year of Diederich's life.

This is no spoiler, for Ms. Banis tells us at the very start, with a striking first chapter opener with her making hospice arrangements for this monumentally stubborn opposite number and ending with his taking his final breath with Amelia and her husband by his side. There is no escape for Diederich, no roseate deathbed realization. The following twenty-six chapters show how the Diederich-Amelia dyad stretched and spun and writhed - never severing - its way to that final end. Reading this beginning, the author's necessary and ingenious avoiding of the boredom of a linear decline to death (just desserts) or an unlikely pink rainbow scene (the old devil had a heart after all), one feels right away in good hands. She is taking care of us, too, and will make sure it's an interesting ride. One thinks of Akira Kurosawa's epic 1952 heart-movie, Ikiru, which begins with a shocking closeup of the protagonist's abdominal X-ray, which the businesslike narrator informs us shows terminal cancer. Mr. Watanabe is to die, as we are all to die, so this will be the story of what he does with his time, his last months or days or year.

What comes next in Banis' book is one of the great memoirial narratives of the details of a life. One looks in astonishment at the clarity of recall, the outpouring as if from a cosmic high-pressure pipe in which all the facts and details must emerge - not in a chaotic spray, but remorselessly marched forward and set down. The style is accessible, often wry, but the mental intensity is palpable, and one knows through the grip of the force behind it that this book had to be written. This is no guarantee of a book one must read, and at some points this reader, though compelled by something to hold on, blanches at the detailedness of the tale. One does not read an airy summary of happenings showing the working-out of some abstract pattern familiar or new: one reads things as they happen at the moment, in William James' "great blooming, buzzing confusion,” before any narrative or intuitive smoothing and completing. It makes for an inescapable tension if one stays on for the ride and a compelling hold on one's attention.

One could see some readers getting off the ride, perhaps easily. It is a mark of the advancement of Ms. Banis as writer - this is a first book - that she makes things neither easy for the reader nor contrives any difficulties. Her sentences are almost steel-edged in their clarity and decision - one is unsurprised to read in the biographical note that in her working life she is at a high level in business - and are resolutely extrovert in declaring what happened out there, in common space, observable by anyone with eyes and ears. The details, the outward turn, the powerful will behind the word-engraving - it is, as the story goes on, almost too much.

And yet.

Leave aside that one felt compelled to hang on. Leave aside that one knew how it would end. It ended at the beginning, in the extinguishing of the locked, fixed will of Diederich. There is the curiosity to see where it is going - with the end at the beginning, one wonders what beginning will prevail at the end. But that too can be left aside, as a desire that will be closed - fulfilled or disappointed - by the last page.

What came to this reader only in the long musing afterward was that the key to it all was carried by, shown by, could only be displayed by, the unrelenting detail as the tale goes.

To begin, one is given one of the great portrayals of an absolutely fixed will in Diederich. One would have to reach into the non-fiction ponderings of D.H. Lawrence on this same matter, or to Jack London's incomparable Wolf Larsen, to see the male will portrayed as so profoundly locked back in its own redoubt, never relenting, never ceasing its vigilance and teeth-baring at the approach of any who would dare approach the cave.

We then have the narrator, who is no plaster saint and who portrays herself losing patience, wanting to leave Diederich to his own devices, self-doubting, self-berating - yet she, of all, without claiming any great merit for it, takes care of Diederich, endlessly, against his own resistance all the way to the moment of his death.

The driver for the great pour of detail is just this: the locked will of Diederich and the will of Amelia, equally strong, to see him through, whether he rejects it or not. He is an immovable object of refusal, and she is an unstoppable force of care. The explosion of detail comes inevitably from this irreconcilability.

Yet, again, this is not all. There is something carried by means of the detail that is never spoken, never hinted, yet now, after a few months pondering this singular tale singularly told, is clear. Amid all the details there is nearly nothing explicit of the spirit, of the soul, of ethics. Amelia is held to the vocation of care for reasons she cannot, being immersed, fully know - no more so than Diederich understands his position. In their way, each is acting completely truly to their nature, with no time for reflection or artifice. One leaves with the details of an intimately personal story, and for this reader the unspoken came out as they, afterward, arranged themselves as they would, as though the writing were continuing within oneself: that this is a profoundly moral tale, the more credible for being not a fiction and the moral nowhere announced or even whispered.

The moral is this: that at each moment in life, we choose a better or worse course, particularly in dealing with our fellowman. Diederich in time became little more than a ruined body hosting a psyche ingenious in endless forms of rejection. Amelia for most of her journey with Diederich is at the very edge of being able to go on, but carry on she does - for the sake of seeing it through, for caring for the most impossible among us. It is so without reward that it has not even the satisfaction of duty performed. She staggers on because, by some light within her, often buried but still known, it is the right thing to do.

And this was the turning point of finding a deeper sense: at any moment, Diederich could have changed course, even in the smallest extent. At each momentary turn, unconscious as he was of it, he was choosing, choosing to shut himself off from the sunshine of an adoptive daughter caring for him beyond what would even be the expectation of blood. That is his true death, before his heart ceases: that he turned away from the land of life, from a steadfast hand extended from it to help him come as close to it as he liked - or even to cross over. Diederich, refusing to be die and be born again, lives not even once. It is merely an existence that ends.

Diederich dies, enclosed. Amelia, her husband, and their children recover and move forth. Again, as with Kurosawa's Ikiru, the protagonist's death is not the end. There is a coda of dispersion back-into-the-world, of the taking care of things. And so the world of the book ends, and we are back in our own lives. And we wonder that things feel different than before, and wonder at this curious, powerful book that made it so.

This would make a powerful play, readily staged – and even more so a feature film. In the right hands, with the right casting, the two leads could strikingly explore the infinite complexities we humans make – and break – in our relationships.

One hopes for more from Amelia Banis' hands. There are presumably no more Diederichs to be told, so one would see what her determination to tell will do next. In the next volumes one, too, would wish to see beneath the extrovert horizon and within the aura of the author. Through The Last Year we are very much in her strong hands, and one wants, at the end, to challenge the author, in the same manner as her very being challenged her adoptive father, to surrender the control and give more of her subjective self, whether she writes again in the first person or not, and to show us in tale and writing-style more of the unexpected mysteries and potentials for change she drew from within herself in telling the story of a year of crisis.

(end)

[myrhinestoneeyes]

Could Master Sirius be Vincent?

In the Green Witch’s arc we learned how shinigamis are born: 

In the same arc we saw the Undertaker talking to Diederich.  He said that Vincent burned alive and.. that the Earl is still with us.

Well, if you think about that, Sirius’ skin is pretty damaged. (Oh, and he shares the same blood type as Ciel’s)

And what about Elizabeth? She doesn’t want to leave from the Music Hall, so I think that there must be someone she cares about. 

At the begging I thought about Ciel’s twin, since the 2ct is getting more and more plausible, but... Shouldn’t he be with the Undertaker..?

Think about Othello’s words. Of course the founder of that music hall cannot be human. 

I honestly don’t know if that’s it, but there’s obviously something we do not know about Vincent.  In his latest appearances he always looked so mysterious, like he was hiding something. Diederich seemed distrustful. (Remember when he told Vince cannot experience love?) Vincent knew something was up, he even asked Dee to “protect them” if something were to happen to him.  Maybe -for whatever reason- he started the fire at the mansion, committing suicide. 

What the hell is going on then? Why is the Undertaker trying to bring back dead people? Is it for Claudia? Is he Vincent’s father?  Ciel saw the German Shinigamis, Sascha and Rudgar. Sascha was surprised, he wondered whether Ciel could see them for his contract with Sebastian or for his lineage. 

I have more and more questions but not a single answer.

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Drop Off

(Story Post)

The middle school grades were already off for the summer which is how Diederich and Nari were able to take their Europe trip, but Dax’s second grade class was only just wrapping up that week. He still had classes to teach leading up to his weekend trip with Nathan, but he always went to his boyfriend’s place immediately after school. He knew Nathan felt overwhelmed having to take care of the twins and Wano by himself, so Dax tried to be as available as possible. On Wednesday, he came home surprised to see none other than Jeffrey Matthews standing in the front hall with Ben strapped to him. Nathan was there as well, drilling him like it was a game of 20 questions. “I told you, he didn't invite me,” Jeffrey was saying. “I just came by to give Wano a gift.” “What kind of gift?” Nathan demanded. “Good afternoon?” Dax announced himself as he came in. “Hello, Jeffrey. What are you doing here?” Jeffrey rolled his eyes. “Like I've been telling Nathan, I brought over a gift for Wano. That's all.”

Wano came down the stairs at that point and went over to Jeffrey eagerly. “Hello, lovemate. How are you?” He gave Jeffrey a peck on the forehead. Nathan frowned. “Wano, did you invite Jeffrey over?” Wano shook his head quickly. “No, this is a surprise to me!” “I brought you this,” Jeffrey said handing Wano a box. “Made it myself!” Wano opened the box excitedly to find a cake inside. “This is for me? Why?” Jeffrey just shrugged. “I was saving this recipe to make for Bler for Father's Day, but you know, he’s gone, so I made it for you.” “Is that a chocolate cake?” Nathan asked. “Chocolate's not good for your Eclulan diet, Wano.” “I still like it,” Wano said. He smiled at Jeffrey. “Thank you.” Dax went over to his boyfriend and rubbed his back. “Nathan, relax.” Nathan placed his hands akimbo. “So, if that's everything, Jeffrey you can be on your way.” Jeffrey frowned. “Why are you so pushy? I came a long way. I would at least like to stay for some of the cake I made.” Wano looked at Nathan and then turned back to Jeffrey. “No, I am sorry, Jeffrey. You cannot stay.” “What?” Jeffrey huffed. “Why not?” “I did not get permission for guests,” Wano said. “But it is okay, I can see you this weekend! I will be at APID while they go north.” Jeffrey softened a bit. “Oh yeah? Okay. Can you save some cake until then?” “If you want, you could take it and bring it back to APID Friday,” Wano suggested. “No, no. You should have some while it's fresh. Just save me a piece,” Jeffrey said. “Jeffrey, if you'd like, I could drive you home again,” Dax offered. “Naw, you just got home,” Jeffrey brushed off. “I've got a bus pass.” “I insist,” Dax said. “After all, we have car seats and that'd be much more comfortable for Ben than being carried a long way, wouldn't it?” “I guess so,” Jeffrey said. “Right now, or can I say goodbye to Wano?” “Of course, you can say goodbye,” Dax said giving Nathan’s hand a squeeze. “It'll only be about twenty minutes there and back, babe.” “Thank you, Dax,” Nathan said. Jeffrey wrapped his arms around Wano's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. “Text me, okay?” “Yes,” Wano said. “I will show you how much I love eating your cake.” “Nathan can't have any because he's being mean to us, okay?” Jeffrey decided as he pulled away. “I'll see you later.” “Okay.” Wano gave Ben a pat on the head. “Goodbye little Ben.” Jeffrey grinned and made Ben wave. “Say ‘Bye Wano'! Bye bye!” Ben just looked up at Jeffrey. “Buh?” “He's not much of a talker,” Jeffrey admitted. He gave Wano's bicep a squeeze. “Alright, see ya, handsome.” “Bye.”

On the way to Ollie's apartment, Jeffrey was clearly upset. He’d asked for the aux but he wasn't settling on any song for more than a few seconds. Dax found it very distracting while he drove, so when a song he knew came on, he told Jeffrey he liked it and it was left on. “So, you and Wano,” Dax tried to make conversation. “Pretty serious, huh?” Jeffrey frowned. “Yeah… I don't get what Nathan has against us being together. We're both adults. It's none of his business.” “Well, Nathan cares about Wano a lot,” Dax said. “And I think he's more concerned about the fact that you guys won't be able to be together because of Wano's immigration status.” “He got an extension,” Jeffrey said. “Can't he get another one?” Dax sighed. “I don't think it's happening… I think Wano will be deported one way or another. He can reapply to return but it's hard to say if it would hold and how long it would take, considering he violated his VISA by acquiring a criminal record.” Jeffrey pouted. “Still… He's still here for now. He should be able to do what he wants.” “That's not really true,” Dax said. “His staying with Nathan is conditional. He can't leave the house and he must behave himself. Nathan is partially responsible for him considering he’s housing him. We're just trying to make this transition smooth so he's in good standing with APID should he be allowed back.” Jeffrey crossed his arms. “How is seeing me misbehaving?” “It's not really about him seeing you so much as… Well…” Dax frowned. “He says you're both trying to make a baby. Is that true?” Jeffrey shrugged. “Well, it’s normal for two adults in a relationship to have sex… I don't really like condoms and stuff. Most aliens can’t carry our STDs anyway. And if I get pregnant, I get pregnant, I guess…” Dax sighed again. “Do you see how that can come off as irresponsible? Wano's not…the brightest, and he's driven by a lot of very, I want to say, basic instincts, so I'm not really that surprised if he thinks having a baby will make everything great, but I know you’re the smarter one. You have the ability to be the responsible adult in this situation. Do you really honestly think having a baby right now, with Wano of all people, is a good idea?” Jeffrey huffed. “…You know, you're not my dad… I don't need your life advice.” “No, I'm not your dad,” Dax agreed. “But I was your teacher once, and I do care about all my students. You have a lot of potential, Jeffrey. I would like to see you thrive in this world. You have options. You are capable of making good choices.” Jeffrey just went silent. Dax just gave up for now and decided not to bother him the rest of the way. When they got to the apartment building, Dax went up with him to make sure he got in safe. Jeffrey's cousin was there, and he looked rather upset when he saw Jeffrey. “Where've you been?” Ollie asked. “I texted you and you didn't answer me.” “I just went out. I don't have to tell you everywhere I go,” Jeffrey stated as he took off his shoes. “I was worried about Ben,” Ollie said going over to pick up the baby. “I thought you might've taken him to a bar again…” “That was one time,” Jeffrey moaned. “Can you get over it?” “And who's this guy?” Ollie asked looking Dax up and down. “I'm Dax,” Dax said. “I—” “He's a friend of a friend from group,” Jeffrey said. “He offered me a ride home.” “I actually taught Jeffrey in high school,” Dax said rubbing his neck. “Never expected my partner to be in the same pregnancy group as him, but here we are.” “I'm Ollie, Jeffrey's cousin,” Ollie said. “I went to the same school as Jeffrey some years before him. I don't think I remember you.” “I was only there a couple years,” Dax said. “I work at APID E now.” Ollie shrugged. “Are you an ‘alternative person' like they're calling people these days?” “Uh, well—" “Ollie, you know that’s rude!” Jeffrey snapped. “It's alright, Jeffrey,” Dax said. “My situation’s a bit hard to explain.” “We're fairies, you know?” Ollie said, smoothing out Ben's hair. “Probably wouldn't guess from looking at us. Jeffrey's more than me. That's why he's so short.” “That's actually quite interesting,” Dax mused. “Is it a matter of being mixed, or are fairies like merpeople, where the child will always be a merperson no matter if one parent is human?” “It's a bit of both, I think,” Ollie said. “Fairies have been interbred with humans over a long period of time so we've sort of evolved with humans… But, uh… It's like this. Both of Jeffrey's parents were fairies making him a high blood fairy. Only my mother was a fairy, making me low blood. But I'm still considered a fairy 100%. Any kids we have will be 100% fairy no matter what.” “So, even little Ben too then, despite his alien heritage?” Dax asked. “That’s right. Low blood like me but still 100% fairy,” Ollie said. “That’s truly lovely,” Dax said. “Since embracing my native heritage, this topic has always fascinated me. I did my Masters thesis on the ‘Blood Quantum’ and it’s negative effects on indigenous groups in Canada—" “Ugh, if you guys are gonna nerd out, I’m going to my room,” Jeffrey said taking Ben with him. Ollie waited for Jeffrey to close his bedroom door before sighing. “Sorry about my cousin… He’s very scholastically averse.” “Oh, I know, imagine trying to teach him French…” Dax said. “But please, I’m now a bit invested. What sets a fairy apart from a human?” “Hm, some basic stuff,” Ollie said. “It’s mostly magic sensitivity. But physically… Can’t grow facial hair, generally short, can’t really gain weight, some magic ability, sometimes inhuman hair or eye colour. Oh, and the ears.” Dax tilted his head. “Well, your ears aren’t particularly pointed or anything… And you’re rather average height.” “Low blood as I said.” Ollie spread his arms. “All I really got was the eyes, the lack of facial hair and the metabolism. Although, if I try hard enough, I can gain some muscle where Jeffrey can’t… I think I’ve even heard of low blood fairies getting big and muscly and growing beards. Never met one, though I don’t really know other fairies outside the family.” “You do look rather fit,” Dax commented. “You have great calves.” “Thank you, I’m a runner,” Ollie said proudly. “And you’re not too bad yourself.” “Ah...” Dax rubbed his neck. “I’m a bit of a yoga and swim nut. Although I’ve been a bit out of shape lately…” “Are you kidding? You have very tight buns,” Ollie complimented. “Well, thank you… I really should start working out again…” Dax said, rubbing his neck. “I keep looking up some fun smoothie recipes I want to try for workouts, but I haven’t found the time. Not to mention the protein powders are expensive, and I kinda need it with my diet.” “Well, the one I get isn't so expensive,” Ollie said. He moved to the cupboards. “You know what, the taste's been a bit different lately so you should try some of mine and if you like it, you can get it online at wheylux.com.” “Oh? Alright, sounds promising,” Dax said. “I can order it, you don't have to share.” “No, no, it's no big deal,” Ollie said grabbing the container from his cupboard. “It really is reasonably cheap, and you don't need much each time. I take a teaspoon and it lasts so long.” “Well, alright. I'll try it,” Dax said. Ollie made up a tiny Tupperware for Dax and handed it over. “There you go. Keep the cup. I have plenty.” “Well, thank you,” Dax said pocketing the product. “I appreciate it.” “Don’t mention it.” Dax smiled. “I should probably head home though. Promised I'd be back in 20.” “Don’t let me keep you,” Ollie said. “Dax, was it?” “Yes. Dax Olivier.” Dax stepped out the door. “And Ollie, right? Are you a Matthews as well?” “Larson,” Ollie offered his hand. “Oliver Larson. Or just Ollie.” Dax shook his hand. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Ollie.” “You, too. Safe drive. Thanks for dropping off the brats.” Dax chuckled. “No problem.”