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bestanimal · 3 months ago

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Round 3 - Reptilia - Anseriformes

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

The second order in the ancient “fowl” lineage is the Anseriformes, commonly called “waterfowl”. They are represented by the living families Anhimidae (“screamers”), Anseranatidae (“Magpie Goose”), and Anatidae (“ducks”, “geese”, and “swans”).

Anseriformes are good swimmers and tend to live near water, escaping to it when needed. They are also much more adapted to flying than their galliform relatives, and many species are migratory. Some species retain vestigial wing claws, with screamers even having two sharp spurs on each wing, which are used for defense. Their legs are short, strong, and set far to the back of the body (more so in the more aquatic species). Their feet are anisodactyl, with three toes in the front and one in the back. Most have long necks. Screamers and Magpie Geese have partially webbed toes, while Anatids have fully webbed toes, though some species have secondarily lost their webbing. Anatids have flattened beaks which contain serrated lamellae, particularly well defined in the filter-feeding species. They are omnivorous or herbivorous, and live worldwide, wherever water is present.

Anseriformes are generally monogamous, but the level of monogamy varies between species. Some only maintain a pair bond for a single season, while others form longer pair bonds that, in some cases, may last for life. In some cases, males will mate with two females, all of which raise the young. In many species, only the female incubates the eggs, but the male usually provides a supporting role, defending the nest and bringing her food. In some species, both parents take turns incubating the eggs. Anseriformes are born precocial, able to run, swim, and feed themselves as soon as they are hatched. They are known for imprinting on the first adult they see at hatching, and many females will readily adopt parent-less chicks.

Anseriformes already existed by the Late Cretaceous, represented by fossil species such as Vegavis iaai and Teviornis gobiensis, showing that birds had already begun to diversify before the K-Pg extinction. The Anseriformes and Galliformes are the only orders of modern bird to be confirmed present during the Mesozoic, alongside the other dinosaurs, and were among the very few birds to survive the mass extinction. If you ever feel threatened by a goose or a swan just remember that these birds lived alongside the Tyrannosaurus rex, and were one of the only groups of dinosaur to come out on top. Waterfowl are the daughters of the dinosaurs God couldn’t kill. You are nothing to them.

Propaganda under the cut:

The Horned Screamer (Anhima cornuta) is unique among birds for the long spine that grows from the top of its head. The spine is a cornified structure that is loosely attached to the skull and grows continuously, often breaking at its tip. This “horn” does not seem to serve a purpose, but may be used for attracting mates or signaling that the bird is of breeding age.

The Magpie Goose (Anseranas semipalmata) (image 4) is the only living representative of the ancient family Anseranatidae, which diverged from other anseriformes in the Late Cretaceous.

Most of the 3% of bird species to have a penis are Anatids, and they vary significantly in size, shape, and surface elaboration. Ducks are especially famous for their corkscrew penises and vaginas, evolved to keep rival males from forcing themselves onto females. The penis of a male duck is also lined with ridges and backward-pointing spines, which allow them to deposit their sperm further into a female than their rivals. Meanwhile, duck vaginas are equally long and twisting, lined with dead-end pockets and spirals that curve in the opposite direction. If the female accepts a male’s advances, she can relax the walls of her genital tract, but rival males will have a harder time. Follow for more Penis Facts™.

The Cotton Pygmy Goose (Nettapus coromandelianus) is the smallest living anseriform, weighing as little as 160 g (5.6 oz) and stretching 26 cm (10 in) long.

The Black-headed Duck (Heteronetta atricapilla) is unique among waterfowl for being a brood parasite. The female does not build a nest but lays her eggs in the nests of other birds, such as other ducks, coots, gulls, and even birds of prey. Unlike some cuckoos, neither the chicks nor adults destroy the eggs or kill the chicks of the host, as Black-headed Duck ducklings are precocial. After an incubation of about 25 days, the ducklings are completely independent a few hours after hatching and leave the host nest.

Common Eider (Somateria mollissima) females line their nests with the soft, insulating feathers plucked from their own breast. This soft and warm lining, called eiderdown, has long been harvested for filling pillows and quilts, but in more recent years has been largely replaced by down from domestic geese and synthetic alternatives. Eiderdown is now a rare luxury, but it is still collected and is a sustainable harvest, as it can be done after the ducklings leave the nest with no harm to the birds.

Sea ducks (tribe Mergini) (image 1) such as eiders, scoters, and mergansers, dive beneath the waves for their food. They hunt for fish and invertebrates, which they often eat underwater. Many will swallow whole mussels, relying on their strong gizzards to crush the shells.

The Wood Duck (Aix sponsa), and the Mandarin Duck (Aix galericulata) are known for nesting in tree cavities, rather than on the ground like most other ducks. The ducklings are highly precocial, and at just a day old will leap from the nest to join their mother, sometimes from as high as 15.24 meters (50 feet), landing in water or leaf litter.

The Egyptian Goose (Alopochen aegyptiaca) was regularly represented in Ancient Egyptian art. They are known for being aggressively territorial towards their own species when breeding and frequently pursue intruders into the air, attacking them in aerial "dogfights". They have been observed attacking other aerial objects such as drones as well. Neighbouring pairs may even kill another's offspring for their own offsprings' survival and access to resources.

The Pink-eared Duck (Malacorhynchus membranaceus) is strange-looking with its spatulate bill and zebra stripes, but it is named for the small, pink ear spot on each side of its head. This tiny spot makes it the only Anseriform known to use carotenoid pigments in its feathers.

Some populations of Spur-winged Goose (Plectropterus gambensis) are poisonous, due to having a diet that includes significant quantities of blister beetles (family Meloidae). The poison, cantharidin, is held within the tissue of the bird resulting in poisoning of those that eat the cooked goose. A dose of 10 mg of cantharidin can kill a human.

Two species of ducks and two species of goose have been domesticated by humans. The Domestic Duck (Anas platyrhynchos domesticus) was domesticated from the Mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) in China around 2000 BC. The Domestic Muscovy Duck (Cairina moschata domestica) was domesticated from the Muscovy Duck (Cairina moschata) in Peru around 50 AD. Over 200 breeds have been created in the past several thousand years, which are farmed for meat, eggs, and as pets. Meanwhile, the Domestic Goose (Anser anser domesticus) was domesticated from the Greylag Goose (Anser anser) in Egypt, sometime between 3000 and 1980 BC. The Chinese and African Goose (Anser cygnoides domesticus) was domesticated from the Swan Goose (Anser cygnoides) in China sometime between 1000 BC and 1800 AD. These geese are kept for their meat, eggs, feathers, as pets, and as livestock guardians.

The Barnacle Goose (Branta leucopsis) gets its name from 12th-18th Century Europeans who thought that Barnacle Geese, as well as Brants (Branta bernicla), emerged fully formed from Goose Barnacles (order Pedunculata). Gerald of Wales claimed to have seen the birds hanging down from pieces of timber, William Turner accepted the theory, and John Gerard claimed to have seen the birds emerging from their shells. In County Kerry, until relatively recently, Catholics abstaining from meat during Lent could still eat this bird because it was considered a fish.

The Hawaiian Nēnē (Branta sandvicensis) is a conservation success story. Hunting and introduced predators, such as Small Indian Mongooses (Urva auropunctata), Domestic Pigs (Sus domesticus), and Domestic Cats (Felis catus) reduced the population to just 30 birds by 1952. But the species bred well in captivity, and reserves and zoos across the world pitched in to breed the geese back from the brink of extinction. Today, the Nēnē is considered near threatened and has a population of around 4,000 birds.

The Trumpeter Swan (Cygnus buccinator) is the largest living anseriform, and the heaviest living bird in North America. They have a wingspan of 185 - 304.8 cm (6ft 2in - 10ft 2in). The weight of adult birds is typically 7–13.6 kg (15–30 lb).

In the second century, the poet Juvenal made a sarcastic reference to a good woman being a "rare bird, as rare on earth as a black swan". Unknown at the time to the misogynistic Roman, Black Swans (Cygnus atratus) existed in Australia and Black-necked Swans (Cygnus melancoryphus) in South America.

#animal polls #round 3 #reptilia #Anseriformes

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kiemiu · 7 months ago

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headcanons of chris dating a lavish hyper feminine gf | ( fem!reader ) fluff + soft hours. established relationship headcanons wc 943 (library) + (request)

boyfriend!chris who loves that you have standards. as someone who grew up with a certain lifestyle, you made it clear to chris before you started dating him that you don't settle and have pretty high standards. expecting him to take a step back because most men do when they realize they can't afford you, he surprisingly doesn't. he just smiles with low eyes and says "i can handle whatever you throw at me, mama."

boyfriend!chris who reaches for his wallet without hesitation every single time. before you can even set all of your items on the counter, he's pulling out his wallet. when you go out to eat together, he pulls his wallet out as soon as the waiter mentions the check. it doesn't really matter where you are and what you're buying, he's gonna be the one to pay for it. doesn't even entertain the idea of you paying for something by yourself and will actually roll his eyes at you when you start to reach in your purse.

boyfriend!chris who pays for your mani pedi every time you go to the nail salon. all you have to do is offhandedly mention your acrylics growing out and he'll give you his card to go and get your nails done. every now and then when he has the free time, he'll go get it done with you. he usually finishes his treatment before you, so when he does he likes to just sit next to you and gossip with you and your nail tech. if you mention that you're hungry and the nail tech still has a long way to go with your nails, he'll pick up something to eat for the both of you and even the nail tech if they want anything. without thinking twice he'll feed you so you don't disrupt the nail tech while they're working. he'll get really shy whenever the other people in the salon point it out and coo over how doting he is.

boyfriend!chris who also chooses your nail design. he's consistently been choosing your nail color and design ever since you've gotten together and he takes the job very seriously. he'll genuinely get offended if you let someone else choose your nail design or if you get a touchup without letting him know. besides that, he loves to get matching designs, even if it's something as simple as having each other's initials on your ring fingers.

boyfriend!chris who loves to watch you get ready in the morning. if you ever have somewhere to be and he doesn't, he likes to follow you around like a baby duck and watch you pamper yourself. he'll hold your hair up for you while you search for a hair tie, he'll blow dry your hair for you, he'll choose your perfume, he'll even pick out your outfit if you let him. if he's not doing that, he'll just watch you do your makeup in fascination and whisper compliments, usually something along the lines of. "beautiful before and after." never fails to ask you for a kiss after you put on lipgloss, even though you'd think he'd hate the sticky feeling, he actually loves it and won't wipe it off even long after you're gone.

boyfriend!chris who keeps a compact mirror on him just in case you need it. when you're together, you try not to be on your phones as much, especially when you're out spending one on one time together so to avoid you looking at your phone he carries a small compact mirror around for whenever you feel the need to check your makeup. you could just carry it in your purse, but he prefers to do it. he says it'll be safer in his hands, especially since it's made out of glass but the real reason is that he likes you asking him for help.

boyfriend!chris who carries all of your bags. it could be groceries, shopping bags, or luggage, it doesn't matter. he'll always do the heavy lifting as well as the easy lifting. all you have to do is be pretty for him, he enjoys the view. if he sees you carrying something he'll take it from you without hesitation, especially if it looks heavy. most of the time he doesn't even realize he's doing it, he just feels the need to grab whatever you're holding. what if you chip a nail? he can't have that happen, you'd be so upset, and what kind of boyfriend would he be to not keep you happy?

boyfriend!chris who is always pleasantly surprised when you buy him stuff in return. he genuinely enjoys spoiling you, and the way you always show appreciation for him and the things he does for you always makes him feel fulfilled as your boyfriend. so, whenever you give him something back that's not affectionate doting, he's always pleasantly surprised and really appreciative.

boyfriend!chris who loves to kiss your attitude away. you've accumulated a bit of an attitude due to everything being handed to you, so whenever something doesn't go your way, you have no qualms about showing how annoyed you are about it. the platform uggs you wanted went out of stock? well, chris is right next to you to kiss the pout away and promise that he'll get them for you as soon as they're back in stock. your nails didn't turn out the way you wanted them to? no worries, chris will take you to get them redone tomorrow. he's always there to smother his pouty baby in kisses.

boyfriend!chris who is completely wrapped around your perfectly manicured finger.

' 𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ' 🥡: @emely9274 @ginswife @chrisstvrns @conspiracy-ash @sturnina @lovetaylorrussellgrr @nervoussagittarius @sacaydia @chrissturnsss @hearts4werka @oliviagirlsworld @koilaniazul @starsforu @sturn777 @sturniolosiphone @chrisfavoritewhore

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo fanfic #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #christopher sturniolo imagines #christopher sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo headcanons

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mimir-anoshe · 1 month ago

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"Why do we fall?"

SPOILERS for Thunderbolts* and Theorising for Doomsday. If you don't want either don't read. Contains discussion on suicidal themes TW.

So guys what if... And it's a big IF 'cause ducking hell there's so many characters in this damn Doomsday movie, but GOD would it be poetically beautiful storytelling...

I think, in Doomsday at some point Yelena is going to fall to her death.

Yikes, right?

Either trying to stop something and accidentally getting thrown off a cliff/building/space ship or more likely... in some sacrificial play. Just like Nat, because what are their stories if not poetically entangled tragedies? The rise and fall of mythical heroes with human hearts and broken souls, like two ships passing in the night. They miss each other, separated paragraphs on a page, but the rhyme remains the same. One epic poem. The same story, though I'm hoping Yelena's has a different ending.

And it's going to play into the crux of Bobs story in Doomsday, or atleast the "False Victory" in his heroes journey and Yelena's symbolic death and rebirth (or very literal), which will lead into Secret Wars.

Why do I think this other than the character angst of it all? Well...

Theory?? A poetic wish?

(Fanfiction? A hope... somebody please write this, I would but I don't have a lot of time. This fandom already feeds me so well).

Yelena is as stubborn as Nat, if not more. Whatever reason - I think it has to do with the anchor being of 616 but that's a different theory for another time - she believes she has to do it alone. She has to jump. She has to fall. Because at that point everyone else has failed. Nobody else is coming to save the day. Its on her, or at least she thinks it is. This is the last shot, and she doesn't have super strength or speed or the ability to fly. But she has this. She can do this. She can give this.

She has to be the hero, just like her sister. Choose the fall so everyone else can rise back up and win the day. Even if she loses. Even if it means her life is the cost.

That's what a goalie does right? Falls in order to stop the team from losing. Leaps. Makes the sacrifice. When everyone else fails, they're the one everyone falls back onto. Either they hold that line, or all is lost... Dooms day. And in her mind, what's her life compared to that of the multiverse. What's her life compared to the lives of her new family?

Nat did it, made the ultimate sacrifice. Scored the goal, or stopped one from going in. Not only to save everyone, but especially to save her found family. The people she loves. And heartbreakingly, to save Yelena.

Yelena is painfully aware of that, and Nat never gave her the option to do the same in return. I do wonder if a part of Yelena was angry or bitter at that. Grief can feel like that, especially when it comes to suicide. Like the person made their choice, but in doing so, took others choices away. Even if that's illogical, and unfair, even if thaty person saved the Universe, those feelings are still real.

Part of Thunderbolts* themes - if subtle - is Yelena living in the shadow of her sister's sacrifice. The legend of her heroism. Like Bob lives in the shadow of his own Void and his fear of unleashing it again. A big theme, it seems, going into Doomsday.

She's trying to follow in her footsteps. Trying to do better. Be the hero. To fill that emptiness with purpose, the same as her sister. Bob is afraid of being a hero because of the Void, Yelena is afraid of not being any kind of hero at all. Because of Natasha.

In Thunderbolts* she falls off that building into a "void" at the beginning of the movie, foreshadowing her stepping into the actual Void near the end.

Foreshadow is a very ironic verb in this case for both of them.

She stepped forward, knowing that there was a very real chance she was never coming back. It was actually incredibly reckless, with no regard for her own safety. It was not unreasonable to say she could've died right there. Even Bucky calls it out in the text "What if she's dead?"

She bets it all based off of one small moment earlier where Bob saw her past in the void and Yelena experienced a shame room for the first time... (I could talk for days about her void room being THE ONLY ONE WHERE BOB IS PHYSICALLY PRESENT but I'll save it for another midnight meta fest). But she does it, because she wanted to save him, to bring him home, in the way she wanted to bring Natasha home but never could.

Those scenes do several things for the story and work on a few different levels in terms of symbolism, character and theme.

It harkens back to her sacrificing herself in Black Widow to kill Dreykov, exploding and falling to what she thinks is her death. Both that and her falling in Thunderbolts* were meant to be visual and thematic parallels to Nat sacrificing herself in Endgame by committing suicide. Falling to her death. Nat gets to save Yelena in Black Widow, but Yelena didn't get to save Nat in Endgame. Like Clint said, she was better, and so she got to make the choice. Clint couldn't save her from her own choice, and neither could Yelena. And they both have to find a way to live with that.

Its also an overarching visual metaphor for the mental health themes that are so important in this movie. Themes of loneliness, depression and suicide. Themes that apply to every character in the movie, but in terms of the movies thematic heart, are specifically a binary between Bob and Yelena. Those feelings of emptiness, of loneliness. Of a Void.

Yelena: "What is even the point of all this?"

Bob: "Then I remember that nothing matters..."

Both of their arcs are connected to themes of suicide, or suicidal tendencies, and finding a reason to live. To keep going, even if its for each other. Everything about Yelena's mission at the start of the movie is akin to a passive non-verbal suicidal ideation, not actively trying to kill herself but also not being careful or respectful of her own life. Same as Bob in the vault, they parallel each other in those ways. It's the "Meh. Guess I'll just bumble on but if I die, no big deal" mentality. It breaks my heart.

Though, unlike Bob who has the toxic Valentina whispering in his ear, spurring on his later manic episode (Bipolar represent). Instead, Yelena has Alexei to help her see that in the darkness, there is a light. It doesn't drive out the darkness, but it makes it lighter. Warmer. Brighter. If the Void in all of us is a dark mirror that reflects our own negative views of ourselves, our perceived mistakes, guilt, regrets, shame, then Alexei's line about "you need other people to see the good" is about the loved ones in our life being mirrors of light. Where we see the flaws in ourselves, the reason we need each other is because we can act as mirrors that reflect the good in others.

Its like what Natasha said about the avengers in Endgame.

"They made me better."

Other people can see the best versions of ourselves, and when we see it through them, it allows us to see ourselves in a more eclectic, realistic and positive way that can help us escape the illogical doubt and shame of our void.

And because Yelena sees that in herself through her Dad, and from her sister who was a light in her life - a symbol of hope and redemption - she can then be that mirror for Bob. Cue Yelena and Bob seeing each other/communicating through a mirror, because they are both deuteragonists and foils for one another. The Void is Bobs dark mirror. Yelena is Bobs mirror of light. Same in the way that Yelena has her own darkness, and Bob becomes a beacon of goodness and light in her world that she strives to protect.

Yes there's the nihilism of her walking into that void, a version in her head that her suffering, her loneliness, her "pointless" existence can end. There might even be a relief in that for her. But it's overshadowed by a hope. A hope that she can reach through that despair, those feelings of unworthiness, and save somebody. To be the sunrise to somebody else's endless night. Because she couldn't be there to save Nat, she was going to be damned sure she leaped over that edge and fell into that Void to catch Bob. And in doing so, save a part of herself she thought had died with Natasha.

Which brings me back to Doomsday.

Yelena is the Avengers "Goalie." She was in Thunderbolts* and that theme will continue into Doomsday, I'm sure of it. The one who brings everyone together, who lights up the room.

"I want to be the one everyone can rely on if they make a mistake."

-Alexei quoting 5 year old Yelena.

Its such a beautiful message for a character, and I thought I loved Yelena before this movie... Boy do I love her now. Yelena is the one everyone can rely on, who will catch everyone when they fall down. When they make a mistake. From Sam Wilson, to Carol Danvers, to the Reed Richards... To John, to Alexei, to Ava, to Bucky... to Bob. No matter what it costs her. But if she's catching everyone when they fall, who's going to catch her?

When Bob falls in this movie into the lifts "void" its Yelena who catches him. Saves him. When Bob metaphorically "falls down" and the Void begins to consume the light, she catches him. Holds him. Shows him he's not alone. And I have a feeling in those 14 months when he's had moments of darkness, when the entire worlds been against him because of the potential threat the void poses including Sam Wilsons Avengers, she's been his biggest supporter, biggest defender alongside the other Thunderbolts* (or New Avengerz lmao), and the one who catches him when he falls down. The one he relies on.

So in Doomsday, after he spends most of the movie suppressing his powers as the Sentry because of his fear of the Void, of hurting people... There will be a moment where Yelena makes a choice. Where because of that choice, she falls. And Bob as he is, hiding from his powers, can only watch as she falls into another Void. To her death. So Bob comes to the height of his arc, and has to make a choice too.

Let the girl he loves fall and save the world from the potential threat of the void and Doom using that power. Or rise above his fear, and catch her. Be a hero, even if it means potentially dooming the world and worlds beyond.

I believe this is the moment in the movie where Bob finally stops stalling and acts, whether through choice or instinct (though I hope he makes an active choice to save her). It would bring the symbolism of both Yelen and Bob falling into the void full circle, also resolving the tragedy of Clint being forced to drop Natasha and Yelena having to live with her sisters choices. This time Black Widow doesn't have to die to save everyone by falling to her death. This time, someones there to catch her, with Bob rising above his own darkness to do it.

Now it could go one of two ways, either Bob manages to catch her before she hits the ground and dies which is what I think will happen. There's also a version in my head where she falls and dies, Bob comes onto the scene or watches it happen without being able to help, and then turns into the Sentry to heal her/resurrect her. Which I believe, the more power he uses the more likely the Void is to take over, and healing/resurrection is the fastest way for that to happen. So instead of physically catching her, he metaphorically catches her falling into death, and in doing so, becomes lost in the Void (keep wanting to type Void Sauce lmao; lost in the void sauce) afterwards to the point that not even Yelena can pull him back out this time. Enter Doom and whatever bullshit he has up his sleeve to use the void and or manipulate that power/Bob, or even completely strip Bob of his powers altogether.

The gist of it is, as foreshadowed in the Thunderbolts* movie...

Yelena will fall, and Bob will catch her. Finishing off the poem of Natasha and Yelena's story not with a tragic cut off, but hope, allowing Yelena to live on and do the things Natasha never got to. The life that Natasha gave her when she was snapped back. And in the same breath Bob will finally truly accept his power and responsibility as the Sentry, overcoming his fear to save the girl who saved him.

All before it comes crashing down. Yelena may be the catalyst that saves the Avengers and also Dooms them. Enter... The madness that is my mind making up theories for secret wars...

God what has Thunderbolts*, Bob and Yelena done to me? I haven't written meta like this in yonks, or been this excited about Marvel in a long time, outside of the comics at least. I'm expecting to be disappointed, hell all of my above theories could be completely off mark, they just make sense to me because of their character arcs and what I would consider a well-written story. Amazing foreshadowing if that is the case. But honestly, the fact they gave us this gem? I will love this movie and the fandom creativity that comes out of it forever, even if Doomsday once again drags me back into my apathetic marvel era.

Here's to hoping.

"Why do we fall Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up."

-Thomas Wayne, the Dark Knight.

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heartbreakgrill · 2 years ago

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happen: sleep token (vessel).

a/n: we pretend we don’t see my unfinished fics, okay? also we pretend we don’t see my spelling and grammar and plot mistakes in this, okay? okay. enjoy :)

"your paint is smeared."

vessel looked up from his piano, first meeting my eyes, then following where my finger pointed to.

"shit," his accent stuck out like a sore thumb, elongating the i in the cuss word.

vessel wiped a finger across the paint in an attempt to blend it in. it didn't do much.

"i think you might be making it worse," i commented with a smug smile.

vessel met my sneering gaze. he was unphased by the sarcasm on my tongue. he reached a blackened hand forward as he tried to rip the clipboard from my hands. i ducked out of his reach. the piano blocked him from me, but his arms were long enough that he managed to swipe a hand across my stack of papers.

i scoffed, stepping back a few feet, examining the black paint overtop my paperwork. "vess!"

"y/n!" he mocked my tone. he rounded the piano, coming to look down at the paper in my hands. "your paint is smeared, lovey."

i looked at up with an annoyed stare, "fuck off."

vess patted my bare shoulder, sending electrically shocked goosebumps down my clammy skin. i shifted my arms, hoping he wouldn't notice how i shivered under his touch.

"i'll go get some more paint, kay?" i offered with a deep breath.

vessel settled in front of his piano again. he nodded, pressing a few keys, "there's a tube in my dressing room."

"be right back."

i turned on my heel and headed for the stairs. i passed ii, who patted my head, and iv, who made some chirp about me owing him a shot- which just wasn't true.

i reached the dressing room soon enough. i'd been in here- in the other ones- numerous times. we often all hung out as a group between shows, in here or out on the town with various disguises on the boys. i still didn’t know who the guys were outside of those masks and strange nicknames. sam did, of course, because he’d been teching for the boys for years now. plus, they all had a brotherly relationship. they trust him.

for some reason, going in here by myself felt provocative. i kept my vision tunnelled, just in case they left something important out. they were men, after all-messy, sometimes careless, forgetful.

outside clothes, hoodies and sweatpants i recognized, sat strewn across the chairs and couches. their personal cellphones were sat with their things, different from the work phones they had been assigned. i had their work numbers, for professional conversations, for getting bullied by ii and iv in the groupchat. vessel and i talked, sometimes, about new coffee shops in new towns we'd be stopping by, movies we'd need to go see when we had a day off.

personal phone numbers were for the trusted.

i b-lined for vessel's paint and brushes, on the counter beside his phone. as i did, my eyes glossed over a wallet. it wasn’t one that i recognized. but, i knew that it was vessel's. or, whoever he really was. my fingers itched with a curiosity that i could not feed. it was none of my business who they were. if they wanted me to know, they'd tell me. they'd unmask themselves when we're chilling out on the tour bus.

if vessel trusted me, if he felt our silly conversations held any depth like i thought they did, he'd tell me who he was.

no matter that i'd known him for six months and hehad yet to do so. no matter that i thought we might have reached that point. no matter that sometimes, when he looked at me, there was a longing sat right behind his eyes, a wanting that made me feel entrusted, that made me feel like he understood what was bleeding off my skin.

no matter.

i grabbed the paint and headed back for the stage. vessel was sitting on the side of it now, talking to ii about something or the other. i handed the paint off to him. i went to go backstage, heel prepared to turn, when he spoke, "thanks, lovey."

ii followed vessel's gaze up to me. i stood overtop of them. ii's eyes raked up my bare legs, over the little black dress i wore. he met my eyes and nodded. "hey, gorgeous."

ii always enjoyed flirting with me. playfully, of course. vessel rolled his eyes at the usual quip. "here we go..."

"i am going to do my job. see ya later!"

ii reached up and grabbed my hand before i could leave. i jerked back to my spot, brows raised. ii shook my arm around, "go on, darling, give us a strut."

"you're ridiculous," i ripped my hand from his, though i chuckled slightly.

"tell her, vess," ii nudged his bandmate's shoulder with his elbow, "tell her how beautiful she is. she just doesn't believe me!"

i met vessel's eyes. he never joined the boys in their teasing, never flirted like ii did. he was always genuine, kind. our conversations were always full of depth, too. in fact, he never showed much interest in me besides those longing, full glances that i took to heart, that i let create a delusional fantasy land in my head. everytime i thought he might be, when we'd have these great conversations, he'd pull back. like was afraid, or he didn't fully trust me.

so, i shuddered when vessel's eyes drug down my body, over my exposed chest, the barely visible tops of my boobs, the curve of my waist, hugged tight by the dress, and the skin of my thighs and calves, right to the tips of my platform boots.

it was then that i realized today was going to be a very different day.

"you look..." vessel rolled his eyes back up my body, to my own flustered gaze, "good."

i couldn't get away fast enough. i thanked them both, stuttering slightly, before turning on my heel and racing towards backstage. i bumped into iv's shoulder and muttered a half-hearted apology.

i knew that they all were staring at me, analyzing my girlish behavior. i knew they'd talk about it.

and that was embarrassing as fuck.

when the show ended, i was determined to not be anywhere near any of the boys. i escaped to the bus sam, myself, and the other techies slept on. i changed into comfortable clothing and lay in my bunk, willing the blush on my cheeks to finally leave me alone.

this wasn’t supposed to happen. did i long for him to say something like that? duh!

did i actually want it to happen? no, bitch.

because that changed everything for me.

i just needed to hide out here for the night, will my anxiety and the fawn look in my eyes away. tomorrow, i could shift everything back to how it was. tomorrow, he’d probably act the same- passive, uninterested.

even if there was any weight to that entire interaction, it’s not like anything could even happen between us.

management made the band swear off girls for risk of privacy and in order to focus on their work. besides, i worked for the band. i helped run every single show they did. they were my boss’.

and there was that whole issue of him not trusting me. because it was so obvious that he didn’t.

i was letting my brain run around too much.

what snapped me back to reality was the commotion of everyone returning to the bus, excited chatter from the other men on the crew filling the once silent vehicle. sam's voice got closer as he and another techie approached their bunks, across and above from my own. i figured they’d just be grabbing something before everyone headed out to the bar.

but, of course- that wasn’t my luck.

"yoohoo," sam knocked a fist on wall, near my head, "is there a y/n in here?"

i huffed, "what do you want?" i knew they were here to berate me to come out with them. but that would mean seeing the boys- having to confront the issue that was vessel.

"get up, grandma," sam teased me for being in bed so soon, "we're going to the bar."

"i'm tired," i replied, a slight groan in my voice. please just go away.

"that's a load of bull," sam scoffed, "you literally said this morning that you wanted to go out tonight."

i went to reply, but more voices filled the bus, all too familiar ones that made my chest tight.

"what's going on? is y/n okay?" that thick british accent burst through whatever i was gonna say next. iv.

then, another spoke- ii, i was pretty certain. "what? what's happening? aren't you coming out, y/n?”

i shoved my head into my pillow, wanting to scream. the only downside of tour was this obvious lack of privacy. i appreciated that my presence was always wanted by just about anyone i worked with. but, god, can’t a girl daydream and regret her actions in peace?

i pulled open the curtains sheltering my bed, just a fraction, not even trying to mask my annoyed expression. ii, iv, and sam were squatted just outside my bunk. sam wore a cheeky grin, but the others had their outside masks on. i could read their energy well, though.

"i'm fine, guys," i waved them all off, cuddled up under my blankets, "i just wanna chill tonight."

"no! you can't! please! you have to go out with us! you promised last time you would! plus you owe me a shot!" iv whined, head tilted to the left. he really needed to find a new gimmick.

i rolled my eyes, "you're a baby."

"wow, y/n," ii set a comforting hand on iv's shoulder, gasping at my insult, "that's harsh. here i thought we were friends."

sam laughed in response, "yeah, y/n. that was really mean. you hurt iv's feelings." he, also, touched iv’s arm.

i met iv's eyes with pursed lips. his eyes read no signs of offense. we were all always so mean to each other and i knew they’d call me out if i ever took it too far. no, this- this was them bullying me back. trying to get me to come out. they’d probably, eventually, get on me about my flustered escape from earlier. ii nudged iv, and he began to fake cry, head dropped down into his hands.

i rolled my eyes again with an exasperated huff, "oh, my god. here we go."

the bus door swung open, then shut again, as the rest of the band made their way in. i didn't notice, too caught up in the boys' theatrics to get nervous that vessel was in my vicinity. he stood just out of sight, watching all of us.

iv sobbed, shoulders rocking. "i can't believe you'd say that, y/n!"

"whatever. im not coming out, freaks,” i went to shut the curtain, but sam pushed it open all the way.

i dropped my head to my pillow in annoyance. ii spoke now, egging on the situation further. i grew nervous he’d bring up earlier, "there's just one thing you can do to make this up to him."

"let me guess, it tastes like vodka and rhymes with hot?" i murmured as i pressed a stressed hand over my eyes.

ii pried my hands from my head. “actually- tastes like hennessy and rhymes with get the fuck out of bed!" he, then, reached into my bunk and tickled my sides.

i laughed this ugly, wheezing laugh, squirming away from ii's reach. iv's showcase of crying twisted into him falling back onto his ass, laughing with his head thrown back. sam held onto the bunk as he joined. i then heard vessel and iii's laughs, echoing from a bit down the hall. i tried to snap myself out of the situation, insecure by vessel's presence. but, ii just wouldn't stop tickling me.

luckily, he did, leaving my face red, tears spilling out of my eyes, and a newfound energy to get up from my bunk. i didn’t forget that vessel was standing there, watching. and, i knew, i’d have to face the reality of my embarrassment eventually. but, the boys drunk were usually pretty sweet.

"alright," i huffed and shoved the covers off of my body, "let's go, you freaks."

"you'll come?" ii offered me his hand, helping me off of the floor.

"yeah, i'll come," i released his hand, steadied on my feet. i shoved his shoulder as i walked towards the closet at the end of the hall. i pushed past sam and iv to get there. as i searched through my bag, trying to find my dress from earlier, i felt eyes still on me. all the boys had begun moving from the bus, going outside to smoke and wait on me. but, vessel was still there. lingering.

he waved at me as i looked down the hall towards him. my face flushed again and i gave an awkward smile. god, i was not helping the situation. if anything, i was making it worse, making him uncomfortable, ruining everything. he’d never trust me now.

i put back on my little black dress, tights to bear the cold, platform boots. my makeup was still in tact, though i had to clean up a few smudges made by my sweat from the show. i finally met everyone outside the bus, drawing eyes to my body as i bounded down the steps.

"still looking sexy, darling," ii flirted, cheekily, taking my hand and forcing me to do a little spin in front of everyone.

as i faced back to everyone, i pulled my hand from his and shoved him away from me again. "creep- let's go. you owe me a shot."

"um, i think it's the other way around," ii scoffed.

i began walking from the group, towards the bar down the street. i tossed a confused look over my shoulder, "that never happened. you're crazy."

i left behind a trail of laughing men, a stunned ii. they teased me- but i did back just as much.

it was just a five minute walk, and i kept my pace ahead of everyone because i was cold and wanted to get there quicker. i knew someone was watching me- again. i knew the feel of that stare. i knew it was vesel. so, i tried to stay just far enough ahead that he couldn't catch up. i don’t think i could keep up any meaningful conversation when my heart was still beating this quickly.

alas, the over 6' man fell in stride beside me, easily, hands shoved in the pockets of an alpha wolf sweatshirt. he adjusted his sunglasses, inhaling a chilly breath before saying, “why’d you run off earlier? before the show? did i- say something wrong?”

"no reason," i snapped a too-quick response, arms crossed over my chest. my cheeks were reddening again.

he tsked his tongue, “good. shame, though, i didn't get to enjoy this dress for as long as i would have liked to.” i couldn’t see his eyes- but i knew they flicked down over my body. i straightened up under the gaze.

what game was he playing?

maybe he just wanted to hook up. i knew it wasn’t anything serious for him, because it couldn’t be.

i could imagine he and the boys were horny. all the time they’d spent declaring celibacy on this tour must be getting to them. so, i convinced myself that’s what this was. but, i of course didn’t want that.

so, i couldn’t help but feel let down that i had gotten my hopes up. i had thought that maybe, just maybe, he wanted me like i wanted him. that, again, maybe, he trusted me like i wanted him to. like i trusted him.

i looked up at him, head tilted back from his height. i tried to read the air between us, hoping something else was there. but i knew he wore a cheeky grin beneath his mask. i frowned, slightly, a desperate disappointment laying just behind my eyes. my head shook just slightly, "don't."

vessel's shoulders fell. he nodded, just once, before silencing himself.

we walked to the bar in drowning silence. i wanted to stop, to turn to him and ask him a million questions. why didn’t he trust me? why didn’t he want me? why couldn’t we try?

why couldn’t we have met in another lifetime, where he didn’t feel the need to hide behind a mask? where he didn’t have to put his life on the line just to reveal himself to me?

not that would fix anything if he didn’t feel what i felt.

i needed a drink.

when we got to the bar, we got swept up in the excitement from our group, separated from each other. i was grateful for the space. it allowed me to breathe, allowed me to start getting wasted.

ii and iv shoved drink after drink into my hands. we pounded shots off of the wooden counter of the bar. we paid far too much for the shitty jukebox in the corner to play our favorite songs. ii even eventually drug me out to the make-shift dance floor, holding my free hand in his, guiding my hips with his other palm.

i clutched onto my vodka cran, following the rhythm ii was swinging in his hips. we danced to some usher song, sultry and silly. normally, i’d shove him away and cuss him out, make fun of him. but, the alcohol was starting to burn my throat, sending a soothingly loose feeling through my blood. i was relaxed.

the song slowed and we did with it. i rested my heavy body against his, chin on his shoulder. we danced in a circle. i could see vessel, sitting at the bar, burning a hole through ii's head with his eyes. he saw me looking at him and quickly looked away.

i just wanted to walk right up to him and kiss him, mask or no mask. i just wanted him. i didn’t care what he looked like. who he was. because i knew him- i knew him well. i knew when his favorite cat died, i knew that he dropped his sandwich in the first grade and cried on drive home. i knew he preferred tea over coffee, with two sugar cubes, and an exact glug of milk in it.

my mind was racing like crazy. i needed to ground myself or i’d do something i’d regret.

that’s when ii mumbled into my ear, “he wants you so badly.”

i jolted out of my own head space, pulling my chin back from ii’s shoulder to look up at him. “what?”

i was having trouble processing words.

“vess. he’s been pining after you for so long,” ii had a sense of urgency in his eyes. "and he think he's trying to see if he can shoot my head off with his eyes right now."

i peered over his shoulder. vessel was watching us again. he didn’t look away, though i knew he could see.

“fat chance,” i blurted out. “he keeps pushing me away…pining my ass. everytime we have, like, a really good conversations about, like, the stars or some shit, the next day he acts like he barely knows my name.”

ii was patient, just listening as i rambled, surely drunk now. i continued on, “i don’t know, dude. like, if he wanted me he would do something about it, yeah? he’d show me. he’d say something. he’d- he’d just do something. instead he just makes me feel crazy.”

i finished myself off with huff. i downed the rest of my drink and set it on a table close to us. both my fists leaned against ii’s shoulders. i was getting dizzy.

ii squeezed my hip in comfort. he waited a moment, for me to catch my breath, to respond. "it's difficult. being in our position. it's hard to tell who's getting close just to catch a peak. forcing everyone we care about to sign mountains of paperwork just to really know us. to trust that we can stay hidden, though the entire world is just itching to unmask us. i know you know that. i know you understand it. that’s part of the reason why we all get along with you so well. the pressures gone. we can be ourselves- no matter what our names are, what we look like. cause you just don’t care.

“i don’t!” i agreed, punching my fist lazily against ii’s shoulder. “i don’t care who you guys are! because you’re still the same to me. and i trust you. and i love you guys. and i just- but just, why can’t he want me?”

he chuckled, “oh, darling. he does. you know he does. and you know the risk, you know the worry. you push it away because it’s not going to be easy. put your pretty little head to rest. just…let it happen as it happens.”

“i think i’m too drunk to really understand this right now, babe,” i droned on, eyes squinted as if i could understand him better with a blurred gaze.

ii tapped my nose sweetly. he stepped back, glancing over to vessel. “just let it.”

i met vessel’s gaze- invisible to me, but so obvious from the burn on my skin. he stood from his seat, hesitant, yet somehow determined.

i felt my body pulled towards him. we met in the middle. some stupid country song was playing. the bad was emptying. our friends were loud. my breath smelled of alcohol. vessel seemed exhausted.

but, for some reason, this was the night that it would happen.

vessel held out a hand, skin pale yet still stained from the paint. i took it. he waited a moment, as if awaiting my consent. then he guided us to the backdoor of the bar. we were out in an alley, alone.

“i’m sorry, lovey,” he said, once he was settled on his heels in front of me.

i clutched his hand like an anchor. “for what?” my brows furrowed.

he brushed a thumb across my knuckles, “that it’s like this. i…i wish i could love you under different circumstances.”

the word passed by without a second thought, so easily spoken from his lips. i barely noticed it. “it’s okay…it’s-its not your fault, vess.”

“no, it’s just,” he ran his other hand overtop his hat, covering his hair just perfectly. “it’s just that i need you to know that. how i feel about you..” now he danced around the word, “because i need you to know that…but…i can’t go forward with any of it. i can’t follow through with it. and i’m so sorry. i just…can’t.”

i slid my hand up to his cheek. he nearly crumbled under my touch. my fingers touched the edge of his sunglasses. he didn’t move. he didn’t try to stop me as i slid the glasses off his nose. i knew those eyes well- i was grateful to see them, even in this dark lighting. i could read him better, i could see his soul.

“i’ll sign whatever you want me to sign.”

the words lingered between us as he processed them. then, he denied them, “lovey…i-“

“i’ll sign a million nda’s. i’ll sign away my life. i’ll- i’ll delete all of my social media. and i’ll wear a mask, too. i’ll step into the darkness with you, vess. i’d do it. i want to do it.”

“lovey, please, i can’t-“

“i can. if you can’t, i can. i can for the both of us.”

vessel dropped his chin, looking away from me. “i can’t ask you to do that for me. beside, you- you don’t even know what i look like. i’m- i’m probably not what you’d want. you can’t love someone you think is ugly. i don’t know, lovey.”

“i do know, vess,” i quickly replied. “i know. i know you. i know your soul. it doesn’t matter to me what you look like, or who you are. cause i know your heart. and that’s all that matters to me. besides, i can’t go on hiding- knowing that we love each other. i just can’t. i won’t allow it.”

vessel met my eyes again. he removed his hand from my own. his hand hung by his thigh, clenching into a fist. it shook. i was worried he’d walk away.

but, after his hesitation softened, he reached his hands up to his face. he tugged the medical mask off of his ears, revealing his familiar lips and smile to me. his nose was new, a feature i’d never seen. but, it was just a nose.

he took off his hat, too, revealing his entire complexion to me. i grinned in response, barely even getting a good luck at him because i really didn’t care.

“that changed nothing for me,” i grasped at his hands. “i feel the same. i feel- the same. maybe better, knowing that you trust me. but- the same. i still want you- i need you, vess…please. i know you need me, too. i’ve always seen it in your eyes. just…take a chance. come out of the darkness…for me. please.”

vessel slid his hands up my arms, slowly, brushing my hair over my shoulders as he passed. his fingertips tickled my neck, the lobes of my ears, until he cupped my cheeks. i leaned into his touch, eyes alight with abounding adoration. he tilted his head down, brilliantly colored eyes boring into my own.

and then he kissed me.

#sleep token #sleep token x reader #sleep token x you #vessel x reader #sleep token!vessel x reader #fluff

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lulublack90 · 4 months ago

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Prompt 22 - Hope

@wolfstarmicrofic February 22, word count 363

“Lie low at Lupin’s for a while,” Dumbledore had told him. He had no idea what to do with Buckbeak, but he was sure Dumbledore could sort that out for him. Hagrid would be happy to see his beloved hippogriff again.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about Remus since that night a year ago, when he’d finally had Peter within his grasp, only for the slimy little rat to slip from their hands, and now, thanks to him, Lord Voldemort was alive and already gathering his old supporters to his side. Harry had been so incredibly lucky to get out of that graveyard alive. He shook his head, he needed to concentrate on what was next. Harry was safe at Hogwarts.

Padfoot raced across the pitch-black grounds and through the main gates. He wasn’t safe yet. Ministry employees had swarmed the area after Harry had brought that poor boy back.

He headed for the caves and, after transforming back into himself and feeding Buckbeak, he apparated.

He arrived in a tiny village in rural Wales. He ducked down behind a dry stone wall and changed into Padfoot again. He checked around to make sure no one had seen him and padded down the road towards a cottage that he’d lost hope of ever seeing again.

He skirted around the property, preferring to scout out the place in case it was being watched. But he highly doubted it. He waited over an hour for Remus to return home. The lights had all been off, and the fire was nothing but embers. Remus came hurrying down the narrow road, his wand out, hanging low so muggles wouldn’t notice. He opened the gate and quickly walked down the little step-stone path. When he reached the door, Sirius made his move.

He came out of the shadows and gave a little woof. Remus spun on his heel and pointed his wand at the bear-sized dog.

“Padfoot!” He croaked and dropped to his knees, holding his arms wide. Sirius raced across the grass. He transformed mid-leap and landed clumsily in Remus’s arms. He whimpered when those familiar arms tightened around him. Home. His mind told him. Home. Home. Home.

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batwynn · 6 months ago

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I have to say, I’m kind of extremely pissed off how shrugged off the bird flu has been and now we’re all at serious risk AGAIN. Like, maybe it’s just because I give a fuck about birds (or maybe it’s Mayba-Covid) but I was immediately concerned from the first reports of it, and did everything I could to monitor local birds and be ready to report any cases. (We have a high amount of Canada Geese and ducks that migrate through this area) I kept tabs on what species were hit particularly hard. I checked the domestic flock reports and got, you know, more concerned as more and more people’s chickens got it. Because no one did even the bare-minimum to protect them. Steps like: Reduce wild bird interaction around food by feeding inside, and cover the tops of their runs to avoid wild bird poop falling in.

I guess most people forgot about when the swine flu mutated and made it to human-to-human transmission? Or Monkey Pox? Or… where COVID came from???

When it started infecting cows, I knew it was too little too late. That people, once again, had done far too little to stop the spread and generally just didn’t seem to care. And, honestly? If taking the bare minimum of safety precautions is too much work for people, you shouldn’t be allowed to raise animals at all. Washing your fucking boots between barns was too hard? You know those chickens are treated like less than shit.

And yet here we are. Selfish, greedy, and stupid to the point of our own mass infection. Again. Because we, as a species, just don’t care about other animals. Never mind ourselves.

I’m so fucking sick of human beings.

#bird flu #covid #pandemic #just fucking sick of it #tw: animal abuse #tw: animal death

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drconstellation · 2 years ago

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The Ineffable Ducks

What's with all the ducks in Good Omens that Crowley seems to be inordinately fond of? Turns out, they do have a narrative purpose, they're not just in there as a running joke about Crowley's fondness for the animals of Earth.

They appear in both S1 and S2, and get mentioned in several seemingly random places. Like, really random. There are quite a few in St James Park, where the ducks live, where the international spies also clandestinely meet, where Aziraphale and Crowley meet on several occasions, and where Crowley and Shax have a meeting, exchanging information in S2E1.

Ducks also get referred to here, when Aziraphale suggests they use humans to search and spy out the missing Antichrist, but Crowley insists it will be near impossible because suspicion slides off the boy like water off, what ever water slides off, because he has an automatic defense system.

The he remembers the ducks(!) later in the Bentley when they discuss using their respective networks of highly trained human operatives (Shadwell and the Witchfinder army), and Aziraphale asks if Crowley has a better idea than his. "Ducks!" Crowley suddenly utters.

The ducks that are always there, that you see but don't see, gathering bread crumbs, when any kind of surveillance or secret spy work is being discussed.

Nah, I thought, it couldn't be a sly ref to this famous cartoon by Larson, could it?

Aziraphale and Crowley are always afraid that someone is watching, or listening to everything they do, from both sides. I mean isn't that partly why we got the ending we did in S2, because they have had to be so covert with their communication to each over the centuries they've forgotten how to speak plainly to each other?

Heaven has definitely been watching...

And Hell certainly noticed Crowley's act of kindness in the Edinburgh cemetery, swiftly summoning him to Hell for punishment after his kind deed on behalf of Elspeth.

Then when the duo meet in again 1867 Crowley wonders if "ducks have ears" before declaring they must do - that's how they hear other ducks. So its no surprise that when Crowley asks Aziraphale for holy water that he writes the request on a piece of paper to hide it from those invisible ever-present watchers they know are never far away.

When we come to the start of S2, where Crowley is slouched in St James Park once more, reading the Tadfield Advertiser, and yelling at the Azerbaijani secret agents for feeding the ducks bread. Crumbs, it was alright to do this in the book, and S1, why is wrong now? Has Crowley suddenly become woke and caring for the ducks? Nah.

There's a lot more to it than that. I realized this is the missing Grain offering from my post about altar offerings (see The Altar of Eccles Cakes) in S2. A Grain offering represents a voluntary expression of devotion to God - or the other side you're supposed to be aligned with, in this case.

Shax is part of this scene, discussing the latest news from below, and she mentions some special intel that Hell has received, from their own secret squirrel network. Of course they would meet in St James Park to discuss this, along with all the other spies. While Shax tries to get some intel out of Crowley about what might be going on in Heaven, because she knows he has contact with a certain angel who owns a book shop, Crowley responds by refusing to show any devotion to his former side at this point, and isn't going to give any information away that could be useful. He also doesn't have any intel at this point, anyway, but he's not going to give that away either! Heaven and Hell are toxic, and no one should be going anywhere near them, in his opinion. So stop feeding them that devotional bread!

After Shax asks what they should be feeding the ducks, he eventually says "Frozen Peas. It's good for them, they like it."

The short period of "peas" since they stopped the impending Apocalypse has been enjoyable, and good for Crowley and Aziraphale, but the forced meeting with Beelzebub later that day soon jolts Crowley out of any complacency when they indicate that the "generalized understanding" Crowley thought they had with Heaven and Hell after the body swap to leave them alone, the one Aziraphale-as-Crowley negotiated, while asking for a rubber duck, no less, was looking very shaky and fragile indeed.

And one more random duck ref to discuss.

I was inspired to write this section by lalalunamoth's post calling Muriel a duckling imprinted on Crowley, and of course I did not save it, did I, and a search does not bring it back up again (found it!), so if you're reading this, or know that post, please let me know! I read it, and thought, cute, but nah, then realized that Muriel was sent on a surveillance mission to Whickber St to ascertain the truth of Aziraphale's 25 lazurii miracle. And she did act as the eyes of Heaven, writing up some reports, called Crowley "grice," then followed him around during his escapade in Heaven just like a duckling following a grumpy gander drake while he did his own surveillance measures in a Tactical Turtle neck, channeling his best imitation Sean Connery voice (have you noticed that as well, people?)

No, no, the op wasn't wrong - those big cross ducks, er grice geese, they make good guard dogs, no?

With special mention to Crowley acting as a surveillance duck just prior to this, and Mr Brown doing his own "spying out" of Aziraphale.

To finish this meta, there is one other figure who notably offered the ducks bread, in the book. This passage, which is surely relevant to S3, but didn't appear in S1, shows another character still devoted to God in a way. Lets give Death the final word:

Crowley: "Maybe it's it's all part of a great ineffable plan. All of it. You, me, him, everything. Some great big test to see if what you've built all works properly, eh? You start thinking: it can't be a great cosmic game of chess, it has to be just very complicated Solitaire. And don't bother to answer. if we could understand, we wouldn't be us. Because it's all - all - "

INEFFABLE, said the figure feeding the ducks.

"Yeah. Right. Thanks."

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insomniaccorner · 22 days ago

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Duck Vs The Batcomputer A crackfic one-shot set in the Neglected!Villain!Reader Story

It started with a simple idea.

A bit of revenge. A little payback. Maybe just some psychological warfare in the form of nostalgic chaos.

Duck sat cross-legged in the middle of their lair, tapping away at their laptop with a devilish grin.

“Let’s see how smart you really are, Timmy.”

They didn’t disable the Batcomputer. That would’ve been too easy. Too boring.

Instead, they installed Duck Life—yes, the old Flash game from 2007—as the Batcomputer’s default launch screen. Full screen. No exit button. Unskippable intro. Quacks included.

But that wasn’t all.

They rewrote the entire operating system to respond only to bird noises. Specifically duck noises. Type too fast? QUACK. Try to open a file? QUACK QUACK. Incorrect password? ANGRY DUCK SCREECH.

The system voice? A synthetic AI version of Duck themselves. Smug, chirpy, and reading every file name out loud in the most dramatic voice possible.

“Accessing: Bruce’s Super Sad Backup Plan For If Everyone Dies – FINAL_FINAL2.docx...”

They uploaded it at 3:17 a.m. Gotham time.

Three Hours Later – The Batcave

Tim stared at the Batcomputer.

“You guys… the computer’s… quacking at me.”

Jason snorted from across the room. “It’s what now?”

QUAAAACK The screen vibrated with the intensity of the honk as Duck Life’s pixelated yellow protagonist waddled onscreen.

“No no no no,” Tim muttered, frantically hitting keys. “This isn’t—WHY IS THERE NO ESCAPE BUTTON?!”

Dick walked in with a cup of coffee. “What the hell are you yelling abou—oh my god, is that Duck Life?”

Bruce arrived next, looking entirely unamused.

“Report.”

Tim, flustered, pointed at the screen like it had personally betrayed him. “They hacked the Batcomputer. I—They replaced the entire OS with a duck-themed—thing. It honks at me when I try to open files! I CAN’T OPEN THE CASE FILES, BRUCE. EVERYTHING IS QUACKING.”

QUACK QUACK

“Attempting to override: No Dick You May Not Name This Operation ‘Quack Attack’.”

Jason was now on the floor. Cry-laughing.

“Okay but hear me out, that’s genius. I’m proud of them.”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Reboot it.”

“I TRIED. It just reboots into more ducks.”

“Hello, Timothy. Would you like to train your duck in running, swimming, or intense emotional repression?”

Tim slammed his forehead into the keyboard.

Meanwhile…

Duck sipped a smoothie from their rooftop hideout, watching the security feed of the Batcave implode into chaos.

“Best $12 I’ve ever spent on retro flash game coding,” they muttered with pride.

A pause. Then:

“…I should install Duck Life 2 next.”

#tmoav #dc universe #batfam #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #tim drake

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tainbocuailnge · 4 months ago

Text

some general is5 observations & tips having done every ending currently available and some souls level 10 runs

a lot of maps, particularly bosses but also regular ones, happen in two phases and make it difficult to use one set of units for both phases. because of this you essentially want to have an A team and a B team who can swap for each other as needed. there's usually only one chokepoint to defend, but you do want two sets of units who can defend this chokepoint.

my personal checklist of things I need is this:

a way to quickly get rid of spines of epoch, both to free up tiles and to get plans early on for more options

someone who can bait (seeds of withering, bind casters, stun snipers, those guys who call in drones, mobile artillery, corruption tanks, ch14 lasers, lich wizards with their necrosis field cast, sankta jumpscares)

helidrop damage

aoe damage

someone who can just hold a guy for a while and ideally can also take the manfred cannon

a healer who can heal without needing skills for it and a healer who can heal without needing to attack enemies about it

low priority but less of a luxury the further you go: dedicated anti-air damage

not strictly necessary but convenient: some source of spare bodies to feed to vore sarkaz

bonus: block 4 for duck lord maps, low-altitude hovering counters in case a bunch of flying treasure chests try to be funny, elemental damage to melt reborn creations

phantom with his IS module covers half of these points by himself so he's like playing easy mode. I took him for fun on my first several runs and then stopped bringing him for a bit so i could learn how to actually solve these maps.

there are a lot of holes and collectibles and inspirers to combo with shift gaming (50% increased damage taken for 10 seconds after being shifted lmao) but I'm just not very shifterbrained so I haven't done much of that

for spines of epoch elemental and true damage are the easiest but any arts damage is generally fine. aciddrop is my favourite for this job though, a lot of sarkaz enemies have innate res so physical damage is better early on and thanks to her high minimum damage she can reliably take out the spines even at e1 and stays relevant on later floors after enemy def starts scaling. aoe damage (be it splash or chain) is good because lots of maps have big groups of enemies but also because it lets you somewhat circumvent the taunt on spines by still hitting enemies around it.

all three bosses counter fast-redeploy strats in some way (locking up units / +3 dp cost / increased redeployment time on manual retreats) but there's so many maps where taking out priority targets fast makes things easier that fast-redeploys are still really strong picks. in general someone you can drop on a guy to immediately deal a bunch of damage (executors, dreadnoughts, musha, surtr, etc) works extremely well against every midboss and is a great asset in face-off nodes.

you generally don't need a lot of dedicated block in is5 but you do want at least one sturdy defender (ideally two on the principle of having A and B teams) and someone who can handle cannon jumpscares, as well as a bunch of extra melee bodies that can be less durable (your vanguards, your bait, your summons, etc). passage blockade is much easier if you can just hold one of the knights for a bit while you wear down the other, and having a bunch of spare bodies makes past the aquapit free as hell and the norport civilians in epochal gaps much easier to manage. I like to bring poncirus because she's very bulky for a vanguard.

between necrosis and corruption you don't want to solely rely on skill-based healing or attack-based healing, you either need one of each or just a healer that heals. a wandering medic isn't a requirement the way it was in is2 and arguably is3 but it gives you more leeway in deploying around spines of epoch. swire the elegant wit's s1 is notably unaffected by necrosis because it's technically always active, and she's very good at holding a guy.

#arklance

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moonstruckme · 11 days ago

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Hi Mae! Welcome back, hope you had a great, well deserved break while requests were off 🫶 but I was wondering if I could request tasm!peter x fem or gn reader (whichever you’d like!), that’s kinda specific kinda not..

but maybe a fic where reader accidentally hurts themselves, not seriously but like, enough to bleed just a bit, but they do not enjoy the sight of blood at all, so Peter has to help them with the actual injury, whatever it is, but also them feeling lightheaded/dizzy or faint from the blood itself ?? but it’s overall a fluffy and sweet scene

Hope that isn’t too specific, thank youuu <3

-🪻

Thanks angel!

cw: blood mention, joking reference to war

tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 574 words

You suck air in through your teeth. “Ow.”

Your face tips toward the source of the hurt on instinct, but Peter’s nose bumps your chin gently, reminding you to keep it up. “Don’t look,” he says.

“Are you almost done? It stings.”

“That’s what happens when you try to make cats be friends, baby.” You can see Peter’s smirk in your periphery. At your pointed silence, he softens his tone. “Yeah, I’m almost done. Hang in there.”

You sigh. “I really thought they’d get along. Yzma gets so lonely.”

You were sitting by the window with your cat, Yzma, when the neighbor’s tabby decided to hop across to your fire escape for a visit. Usually, he’s well received; you’ll stick your hand out the window to feed him a few treats while Yzma sits on the floor halfway across the room looking suspicious but intrigued. You’d thought the intrigue would win out, but when Yzma had seen him so close today—not seeming to realize there was still a window between them—she’d chosen fight and then flight, batting at the glass a few times before tearing off. And, of course, tearing up your lap in the process. Peter had followed the sounds of her panicked spitting to find you with thin scratches welling blood on your thighs and already beginning to slump in your chair from the sight of them.

Yzma was put in time-out. You do plan to make a case for her, as soon as you can see straight.

“She gets lonely for you,” Peter laughs. He squeezes your knee, the cool surface of your kitchen counter chilling the underside. “She’s got it made here, and she knows it. She doesn’t want some tomcat coming around to hog your attention.”

“She only misses me because I’m the one who gives her treats.”

“Bingo.”

Peter laughs again when you tip your head down just enough to glare. He squeezes your knee again, ducking closer to kiss beneath your jaw, over the fluttering beat of your pulse. You hear the crackly ripping sound of adhesive being peeled from bandages.

“You’re gonna look like you just came back from war.”

“It feels like it.”

“I’m gonna tell my great uncle Dave you said that. He was in World War II.”

“Ask him if there are any support meetings I could go to, please?”

Peter’s smile winds up tucked into your shoulder. You tilt your cheek into his hair, the sticky-uppy ends tickling your skin.

“Too far,” you murmur. “Sorry.”

Peter hums like he maybe agrees but he’s amused nonetheless. His thumb runs over the edge of a bandage, flattening it. “You’re all done.”

You breathe out. “Thanks.”

“Feeling any better?” He cups your face, straightening to look you in the eyes. “Still kind of floaty?”

You give a small shrug and a smile. “A little. Not as much.”

Peter’s thumb strokes down your cheek sympathetically. “You wanna stay here for a while?” he asks, cooing a little.

Your smile grows. “Maybe. What will we do?”

“I mean, distraction helps, right?”

You hum, leaning down so you meet Peter in the middle. The tips of your noses brush. “Yeah. It does.”

Peter tips his head up to catch the corner of your lips with his mouth. “You can’t pass out while I’m kissing you, you know. I’ll never live it down.”

You close your eyes, settling in. “Just take it as a compliment if I do, m’kay?”

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hellfirehottie · 8 months ago

Text

California Dreamin' - Eddie Munson

Chapter Eleven - Lay all your love on me

Content warnings: Awkward first date (cute though!), brief mentions of trauma, Eddie flashback (okay, a lot of trauma for Eddie, oops!), goofy idiots in love, lots of sexual tension, smut! dirty talk kinda, thigh riding, hand kink / oral fixation kinda? thumb sucking lol. Praise kink, use of "good girl" , possession kink, public sexual activities / voyeurism, untouched m!orgasm (cause I'm a simp for simp Eddie), brief mention of vomiting.

"Don't go wasting your emotion, lay all your love on me,

Don't go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me."

Lay your love on me - Abba

Saturday / Forest Hills Trailer Park / 12:30pm

[Eddie sways into his bedroom, towel hung low on his hips, humming along to the music playing on his stereo. He closes the door with his hip, dancing along to the music as he runs another towel through his drying hair.]

Eddie: “Mmm-Mmm-Mhm, Oh yeah, mmm, pow!” [He dramatically throws his towels to the floor, dancing sassily around his room naked] “Mmm-hmm-Mhm, yeah!”

[Eddie yanks open his drawers and pulls on a pair of underwear and jeans. Continuing to hum to himself he haphazardly opens another draw, looking at his shirts.

His Hellfire shirt is shoved in the back of the drawer, unworn but clean since Nina had stayed over. He looks at it, contemplating, deep in thought. He looks at his recent favourite Black Sabbath shirt and goes to pick it up. His fingers still, as he looks back at the Hellfire shirt.]

Eddie: [quietly, to himself] “Hellfire or Sabbath, Hellfire or Sabbath, Hellfire or Sabbath. Damn it, just pick one!”

[Eddie picks up the Hellfire shirt]

Eddie: [smiling softly] “Hello, old friend.”

[He pulls the shirt over his head, sprays deodorant and cologne, and pulls on his socks and shoes. Looking at the time, his eyes widen, and he runs out of his room to the kitchen, grabbing his keys on the way.]

Wayne: [calling out from the living room] “Go get her, son!” Eddie: “Thanks Wayne!” [bending down to tie his shoes] “Any words of advice?” Wayne: “Just be yourself!” Eddie: [smirking] “Garbage advice, Wayne!” [running out the door] “Don’t wait up!”

[Eddie jumps in his van and speeds to Nina and Robin’s house.]

Robin: [perfecting Nina’s hair] “And what are we going to do?” Nina: [nervous] “Be myself. Not panic.” Robin: “Good, and what are we not going to do?” Nina: [rhetorical, uneasy] “Be a messy, disastrous basket case?” Robin: [wincing, sarcastic] “Needs work but it’ll do.” [smacking Nina on the ass as she walks out the front door] “Go get ‘em tiger!”

[Nina rolls her eyes and closes the front door. As she turns around, she sees Eddie on the front door step, hand extended ready to knock on the door.]

Nina: (shy) “Hi, Eddie.” Eddie: (warmly) “Hey, gorgeous.” [looking at her up and down, smiling] “You look beautiful.” Nina: [nervously] “Thanks, you too- I mean, you look h-handsome, you look good.” [she closes her eyes, embarrassed] “Fuck.” [smiling] “Sorry, I’m a little nervous.” Eddie: (teasingly) “It’s okay, I know I look beautiful.” [Nina blushes, Eddie relishes in it] “Ready to go?” Nina: [patting her backpack full of snacks, cheeky] “Ready when you are, beautiful.”

[Eddie and Nina sing along to a mixtape Eddie made - the one he promised Nina he would make- for an hour while driving to a small village outside of Hawkins. Eddie lies down the picnic blanket he bought especially for the occasion, offering Nina his hand with a courtesy to sit down. They sit under a tree, unpacking their food.]

Nina: (sweetly) “Ham and cheese or peanut butter and jelly?” Eddie: “Peanut butter and jelly please.” Nina: [handing him a sandwich, looking around curiously] “So, how do you know about this place?” Eddie: [looking around, smiling] “My mom used to take me here when I was little.” [pointing at the park] “She used to push me on the swings there.” [pointing at the river] “And we used to feed the ducks there. And a secret third thing which will be revealed later.” Nina: (teasing) "Ooh that’s ominous, I’ll refrain from asking questions since it’ll ruin the mystery.” Eddie: (teasing her back) “Hey, you’re learning!” [Nina rolls her eyes and swats him playfully] Nina: [smiling to herself, eating her sandwich] “I can just imagine little Eddie running around playing in the park. I bet you were a little terror.” Eddie: (cheeky) “I’ll have you know I was a darling little angel as a child.” Nina: (scoffing, cheeky) “What changed then?” Eddie: [mock offence] “Hey! I’m still a darling little angel.” Nina: (teasing) “Says the Satanist cult leader of Hawkins.” Eddie: (laughing) “You got me on that one!” ---------------------------------------------------

Nina: [lying back on the blanket, pointing up at the sky] “That cloud looks like a bat.” Eddie: [smug, amused] “I think it looks like a cloud.” Nina: [sarcastic, light-hearted] “You know, when you graduate you should seriously consider a career in comedy, you’re so funny Eddie.” Eddie: [cheeky] “Or a cloud designer.” Nina: [rolling her eyes but can’t help but smile] “You’re impossible.” Eddie: [pointing up] “That one looks like a dolphin.” Nina: “Where?” [she shuffles closer to Eddie, resting her head on his shoulder, his stomach flips] “Oh yeah, it does!”

[Eddie squeaks with happiness as Nina lies down on him, he tries to cover it with a cough]

Nina: (confused) “What was that noise?” Eddie: [trying to play it off, embarrassed] “What noise? I didn’t hear any noise.” Nina: (grinning) “You made a weird squeaking sound.” Eddie: [dismissive, voice squeaky with nerves] “No I didn’t.” Nina: “You’re doing it now!” [loving how embarrassed Eddie is] “What’s up with you?” Eddie: [flushed, nervous] “You just lay your head on me, I thought it was cute.” [Nina grins harder] “And my body betrayed me and decided to embarrass me ‘cause… yeah…” Nina: (teasingly) “Cute.” [she rests her head on Eddie’s shoulder again, smiling] “Should I expect squeaking sounds every time I touch you?” Eddie: (cheeky) “Depends on how you’re touching me.” Nina: [swatting him playfully] “Perv.”

[Eddie blushes and presses a gentle kiss on the top of her head, inhaling her coconut shampoo and smiles to himself. Nina smiles as she feels the kiss on her head.]

Nina: [Nina notices Eddie’s Hellfire shirt] “Hey, that’s my shirt!” [Eddie looks at her, confused] “That’s my sleepover shirt.” Eddie: “Oh, yeah, uh, I made it a few years back.” (blushing) “I don’t wear it very often anymore.” Nina: (flirty) “You should, it looks good on you.” [curious] “I’ve seen the rest of Hellfire wear that shirt but I’ve never seen you wear one. It suits you.” Eddie: (flirty) “Really? Cause I think it looks much better on you.” [whispering in her ear] “Especially when it’s the only thing you wear.” [a shiver runs down Nina’s spine] Nina: “Again, perv.” Eddie: (cheeky) “Can’t help it, I’ve got a gorgeous girl lying on me who is feeding me sandwiches and cookies, I’m happy.” Nina: (curious) “Why don’t you wear it anymore?” Eddie: “Well…”

Flashback - January / the trailer park / 8pm

Wayne: “Right I’m off to work, I’ll see you in the- Eddie, you okay?”

[Eddie is lying in bed, covers pulled high over his shoulders, glumly watching the snow outside.]

Eddie: (flatly) “I’m fine. I’ll see you in the morning.” Wayne: (concerned) “Not feeling well?” Eddie: [tearing up] “I-“ [he clears his throat of his tears, stubborn] “I’m fine. Just tired.” Wayne: [after pause, trying to uplift him] “You’ve got band practice tonight, right?” Eddie: (quietly) “I’m not going.” Wayne: “I see.” [struggling] “Why don’t you give Dustin a ring? I know he’d love to help you with your new campaign.” Eddie: “I scrapped the campaign.” Wayne: (defeated) “Is there anything I can do?” Eddie: [with a fake smile] “It’s okay, I’ll be fine.” (Gently) “I’ll see you in the morning.” Wayne: [torn] “You know where I am if you need me.” [Wayne exits the trailer]

[Eddie sighs, watching the snow fall. It reminds him of the ash falling from the sky in the upside down.]

Eddie: [sighing sadly, tearing up again] “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, Chrissy.”

[Eddie’s tears turn to anger. He looks around his room, enraged at the metal band posters, the D&D figurines, the clutter and chaos. He wants to tear his room to shreds.

He begins heaving with anger. His trembling hands push everything off his desk onto the floor, he crumples up his bedding and tosses it across the room, he empties his clothes from his drawers onto the floor.

The Hellfire shirt takes his eye. He snatches it and storms outside, picking up a bottle of whisky from the kitchen counter.

He wrenches open the trailer door, slamming it behind him. The cold snow nips at his skin, aching the scars on his torso. This only fuels him more.

He pours the whisky into the metal trash can and flicks a lit match into the bin. Flames woosh into the air, thick smoke melting the falling snow. He looks deeply into the flames, his anger mirrored in the violence of the flames.

He looks at the Hellfire shirt scrunched in his fist.]

Eddie: [bitterly] “It’s all your fucking fault. You’ve ruined my life.” [he holds the shirt over the flames, not enough for the shirt to burn] “It’s never going to fucking end.”

[His lip begins to tremble again. His skin erupts into goosebumps, he becomes aware he is outside in winter in just pyjama trousers and a vest, no shoes on the cold snow.]

Eddie: [hyperventilating] “I’m so sorry Chrissy.” [he begins to sob] “I’m so fucking sorry.” [he brings the shirt away from the flames and holds it to his face, using it to muffle his sobs and wipe his tears]

End of flashback -

Eddie: (uneasy) “After the accident last summer, nothing felt right, everything was too tight and suffocating and- well, it didn’t feel like me anymore. I started to dress more normal for a while.” Nina: “Eddie Munson, normal? I don’t think you’ve been normal a day in your life.” [Eddie smiles a small smile, shaking his head laughing] “It’s understandable to lose yourself for a while after something traumatic, it happens to all of us.” [she smiles at him reassuringly] “I’m glad you’re wearing it again.” Eddie: (softly) “Me too.” Nina: [realising] “Wait, you’re sharing with me.” Eddie: “Um, yeah. Is that not okay? I thought it was normal to share this kinda stuff with someone you’re dating.” Nina: “It is! I- I want to share with you too. If that’s okay?” Eddie: (proud, soft) “Yeah?” Nina: “I ran away from home. Kind of. I er-“ [picking her nails anxiously, Eddie takes her hand] “I had to leave, for reasons I won’t get into now, so I packed my bags and left in the middle of the night.” Eddie: (softly) “I’m sorry.” Nina: “Don’t say sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong.” [pulling at her hair] “I just had to get out of there, I couldn’t take it anymore.” [sighing] “I’m a coward.” Eddie: [smiling sadly] “I know a thing or two about running and being a coward.” [he rubs his thumb over Nina’s hand he’s holding comfortingly, which is laid across his chest] “I doubt you were being a coward, you were probably scared.” [looking at the water nearby] “It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared too.” Nina: (sniffling) “Wow, this got deep very quick.” [smiling sadly] “You know what we need?” Eddie: [thumb rubbing her shoulder with his free hand] “What’s that?” Nina: [turning to face him, grinning] “Ice cream.” ---------------------------------------------------- Nina: “Stop stealing my ice cream, shithead!” Eddie: [grinning, ice cream over his mouth, talking with his mouth full] “I was just testing it for poison.” [Nina rolls her eyes but can’t help but smile. Eddie extends his ice cream to her face, grinning devilishly] “Here, have some of mine?” [Nina innocently goes to lick the ice cream, Eddie pushes it so it goes on her nose] “Oops!” Nina: [surprised] “Oh, you little shit!” [Eddie takes off running, cackling, while Nina wipes her nose] “I’m gonna get you, Munson!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nina: [swinging Eddie’s hand back and forth with hers] “So, what now Batman?” Eddie: [grinning] “Now to the fun part!”

[They walk along the riverside to a small wooden stall. The stall has a big sign saying “boat rides” on it. Small rowing boats are stacked upon each other, and the giant pond in front of them is filled with laughter and chatter amongst the fellow rowers. ]

Eddie: “Tadah!” Nina: [excitedly] “We’re going on a boat?!” Eddie: [happy at Nina’s reaction] “We are indeed.” Nina: “Awesome!” Eddie: [holding his hand out to help Nina on the boat] “Bow or Stern?” Nina: “Either is fine by me!”

[Nina sits on the seat at the end of the little boat, Eddie sits in the middle holding the two oars]

Eddie: [cheeky] “Where to, m’lady?” Nina: [glowing with happiness] “Wherever the water takes us, kind sir.” Eddie: [amused, begins rowing] “I think the saying is ‘wherever the wind takes us.’” Nina: [smirking] “Don’t be a smartass.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: [matter of fact] “You could not be more wrong.” Nina: “What? Chucky is so much better than the Evil Dead!” Eddie: [offended, cocky] “Chucky is a little asshole doll. Lock him in a cupboard and your problem is solved. A possessed woman with a chainsaw? Can’t lock her in a cupboard, can you?” Nina: [equally as smug] “Don’t read from the book of the dead and there wouldn't be a possessed woman with a chainsaw, problem solved.” Eddie: [scoffing] “Where’s the fun in that?” Nina: [tutting, teasing] “I bet in a horror movie you’d be the dumb blonde who dies first.”

[Eddie pushes up the sleeves on his shirt; Nina’s eyes linger on Eddie’s toned forearms]

Eddie: [cocky] “I’ll have you know, I’d be the brave charismatic leader that saves your dumb blonde ass.” Nina: [scoffing, cheeky] “Not if the thing I need saving from is spiders or deep water.” Eddie: “I knew I shouldn’t have told you that, it was a big fucking spider in my defence!” [Nina giggles at him, he smiles] Nina: “Hang on, why did you bring me on a boat, on a lake, when you’re scared of water?” Eddie: (shy) “I know you like water and I thought, well, I need to get over the fear sometime.” [looking away, embarrassed] “Just killing two birds with one stone or whatever.” Nina: [grinning] “I think that’s really sweet of you, Eddie.” [he blushes] “And brave. I’m having a lovely first date.”

[Eddie stops rowing and looks at Nina, mouth parted, eyes glassy.]

Eddie: (small) “You think I’m brave?” Nina: (oblivious) “I do.” Eddie: [whispered] “Thank you.” [he looks around at the sky, confused] “When did it start raining?”

[Nina looks around confused, holding her hands up to feel water drip onto her fingers. She looks ahead, behind Eddie, to see the large water fountain ahead]

Nina: [rushed] “Oh my god, Eddie, the fountain!” Eddie: [oblivious] “The what?” Nina: [panicked] “The fountain, the fountain!”

[The small boat begins to float towards the large water fountain in the centre of the pond. Eddie looks back at the fountain, then looks back at Nina with wide eyes]

Eddie: “Oh fucking hell!” [he scrambles to grab the oars to manoeuvre them away from the spraying fountain. They both begin to get soaked from the water, both of them squealing and shivering under the heavy spray]

Eddie: “Jesus H. Christ!” Nina: [squealing] “Fuck me, that’s cold!” [loudly] “Eddie, the oars!”

[the oars begin to drift off the boat and into the water. Nina lunges one way to grab an oar, Eddie the other. The boat rocks under the quick shift in weight.]

Eddie: "Shit!” [Eddie lunges too far and falls into the water.] Nina: [worried] “Eddie!” [rushing to his side to reach him] “Are you okay?”

[Eddie emerges from the water gasping, he takes Nina’s hand and throws himself back onto the boat]

Eddie: “Jesus, that is cold!”

Nina: “Are you okay?” [both of them look at each other, completely drenched]

Eddie: [sheepish] “Never better, babe.”

---------------------------------------------------

[Nina and Eddie row over to the wooden hut, their time in the boat over, both of them completely soaked. The usher working at the stall raises his eyebrows at them and they smile sheepishly. They leave the boat, giggling into each other, and walk up the bridge back towards Eddie’s van.]

Nina: [giggling, raking her fingers through her hair as they walk] “So, did that help conquer your fear of deep water then?” Eddie: [walking oddly, stiff in wet denim] “There’s no deep water left to be scared of, I think I’ve swallowed half of it.” [Nina bursts into laughter, eyes struggling not to leer at the way Eddie’s clothes cling to his toned body.] Nina: [coy] “Y’know, Eddie…” Eddie: [oblivious, ringing out his shirt] “Hmm?” Nina: [whispering in his ear, cheeky] “You’re the first guy who's ever gotten me this wet on a first date before.”

[Eddie’s eyes go wide and his face immediately goes red. Nina cackles at his reaction and takes off running]

Nina: “Race you to the car, Eddie!”

Eddie: [fondly watching Nina skip away, heart beating fast, grinning, talking softly to himself] “Jesus Christ.”

[Nina is sitting in the passenger seat as Eddie opens the door and gets in. He puts on the heater to warm up the car and dry off their clothes.]

Nina: “You want the last donut?” Eddie: “Sure.”

[Nina leans over the centre console and offers the donut in front of Eddie’s mouth. He takes a bite of the donut, eyes locked on Nina.

Strawberry jam from the donut lingers on the corner of Eddie’s mouth. Nina wipes it with her thumb and offers it to Eddie, he sucks it off her thumb. Nina’s eyes go wide, transfixed on Eddie’s lips and the suckling of her thumb. Her heart beats faster and she finds herself biting her lip. Eddie watches Nina’s reaction, turned on]

Nina: [clearing her throat] “We should probably head back and get out of these wet clothes, huh?” Eddie: [eyes scanning Nina, trying not to linger on her wet body] “Y- yeah we should.”

[Eddie begins to drive. The tension in the air is thick.]

Nina: (shyly) “Thank you for a great date, Eddie. Even if we are drenched.” [blushing] “I kinda don’t want it to end.” Eddie: [matter of fact] “It’s not over yet.” Nina: [hopeful] “It’s not?” Eddie: [grinning] “Chucky vs Evil Dead at my place.”

[Nina hums contently. She presses the radio on and “Lay all your love on me” by ABBA plays loudly in the van]

Nina: “I love this song!” Eddie: “This song sucks!” Nina: [exclaiming] “You’re tapping along on the steering wheel!” Eddie: [embarrassed] “Am not.” Nina: [enthralled] “You so are!” Eddie: [stubborn] “I am not.” Nina: [cheeky] “Hey Eddie?” [Eddie turns to look at her, she begins to sing at him loudly] “Don’t go wasting your emotion!” [Eddie rolls his eyes but smiles] “Lay all your love on me!” [the sentence trails off towards the end, her voice becoming softer. Eddie looks over at her, eyes twinkling with hope] Nina: “Eddie?” Eddie: “Yeah?” Nina: “Pull over.” Eddie: [worried] “Are you okay? Do you feel sick?” Nina: [softly] “Just pull over.”

[Eddie pulls the van to a stop at the side of the road. The road is empty]

Eddie: [hopeful] “Everything okay?” Nina: “Kiss me.”

[Eddie’s heart beats faster and he gulps, palms sweaty]

Eddie: “H-here?” Nina: “Right here.”

[Eddie looks at Nina’s eyes searching for doubt. When he finds none, he confidently reaches across the van to kiss Nina; his large hands cupping either side of her face. It takes Nina’s breath away.

Nina shuffles closer, her hands combing through his wet hair. Eddie hums with content as Nina slips her tongue into his mouth, pulling her even closer]

Eddie: “C’mere.” [Eddie pats his lap. Nina leans over the console, and with help from Eddie, straddles his lap. Before their lips can touch again, Nina pulls back] Nina: “Wait!” [Eddie looks at her, pouting and confused. She reaches down the side of the seat and slightly reclines Eddie’s chair] “Much better.” [Nina giggles and Eddie looks at her with love in his eyes]

[Eddie holds Nina firmly by the neck and pulls her down to him, reuniting their lips. As their tongues lick at each other, Eddie uses his large palm to pull Nina closer to him, their wet bodies pressed together, Nina’s weight on him]

Eddie: [mumbling between kisses] “You really wanna do this here?” Nina: “Don’t want to wait any longer.” [Eddie moans at her words] “Need you now.” [Eddie melts, moaning again] “Please, Eddie.” Eddie: [riled up, checking the windows for passers by] “Doesn’t bother you we’re in public?” Nina: (shyly) “I find it kinda hot, actually.” Eddie: [resting his head back on the headrest, eyes closed, turned on] “Fuuck.” [Nina’s eyes light up at Eddie’s thick neck, how his Adam’s apple bobs with anticipation, she can’t help but lean down and kiss and nibble at it.] Nina: [whispered in his ear] “Is it okay that I find it hot?” Eddie: (hungrily, in bliss with Nina kissing his neck) “I find it hot that you find it hot.” [he brings her face back to his, kissing her heatedly] “Been wanting you all day.” [his hands go under her dress, stroking both thighs, both hips, her ass, her sides of her stomach] “This dress has been driving me crazy.” [he grabs harsh handfuls of her ass] “Take it off.”

[Nina leans back and pulls the dress off over her head. Eddie leans back to take in the sight, hands stroking the goosebumps on her skin.]

Nina: (embarrassed) “Um…” [she pulls her underwear down her legs too] “They’re wet too…” Eddie: (grinning, cheeky) “Only if I’m doing my job right.” Nina: [red with blushing] “You’re on a roll today, perv.” [smirking] “Your turn, Munson.”

[Eddie eagerly pulls down his trousers, Eddie and Nina having to manoeuvre carefully in the seat to remove his jeans, both of them giggling when they get stuck. With Eddie’s jeans at the footwell of the car, Nina paws at Eddie’s shirt, which he pulls off over his head.

Nina’s lingers trace Eddie’s tattoos and he shivers, wriggling underneath Nina. Nina’s body is once again pressed on top of Eddie’s, her naked cunt against the fabric of his boxers.]

Eddie: “Oh god.” [Eddie bites his lip, enthralled by the sight of her bare pussy ghosting over his hard cock. His hands linger on her hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on her pelvis, his mouth watering. He softly mutters to himself.} “I can’t believe this is happening.”

[He looks up at Nina with eyes filled with want and adoration and feels his heart race, body igniting with heat and gulps with anticipation. Nina feels the twitch of Eddie’s erection against her core. She lets out a little whimper at the feeling, her clit throbbing.]

Eddie: [breathless] “Keep making noises like that and I’ll cum right here right now.” [his jaw clenches with restraint] Nina: (teasing) “Hot.” [she grinds up and down over him once, he begins to pant] Eddie: [restrained] “‘M serious Nina, wanna make it last this time.” [stroking her sides, eyes closed, gulping] “Want it to be good for you.” Nina: [spurred on] “You’ve been thinking a lot about the other night?” Eddie: (half joking) “You kidding me? I’ve been hard ever since.” [tucking her hair behind her ear, looking at her lovingly] “Can’t stop thinking about it, about you.” Nina: [pulling back, Eddie whines] “Eddie… I’ve got to ask.” [Eddie’s face drops in fear] “Is it me you want or is it just sex? Just so I know where I stand ‘ca-” Eddie: [interrupting] “You. Definitely you.” [gulping, brave, looking deeply into her eyes] “Wanted you since I set eyes on you.” [brushing the hair out of her face] “Knew I wanted to make you mine.” Nina: [with wide eyes, voice soft] “I like it when you say things like that.” Eddie: (curious) “Yeah?” Nina: “Yeah.” [kissing his neck, whispering in his ear, he shudders] “It gets me hot.”

[Eddie rests his head on the headrest, eyebrows furrowed and eyes screwed shut, biting his lip with restraint as Nina kisses down the side of his neck, sucking on the column of his throat. Nina begins to grind on Eddie’s lap, causing a low groan to slip through Eddie’s lips]

Nina: (softly, aroused) “Say it again for me.” Eddie: [breathless as Nina kisses him] “I’m yours and you’re mine.” [Eddie’s hand weaves into the hair at the back of her neck as she gently bites his ear] “Jesus, Nina.” Nina: [pulling back with flushed cheeks and rosy lips] “This okay, baby?”

[Eddie’s eyes flick between Nina’s eyes and lips, and he answers her question by crashing his lips on hers desperately. He holds her tightly by the back of her neck, his free hand wrapping around her back to pull her flush against him.

Eddie’s cock aches desperately as its slapped against his stomach, Nina’s core only inches away from him, occasionally brushing against him, her thighs straddling Eddie’s hips. Nina hums contently into the kiss, holding his face in her hands as they kiss passionately, Nina’s hips still rocking against Eddie’s.]

[The windows of the van begin to fill with condensation, the music on the radio playing softly in the background.]

Eddie: [mumbled into her neck between kisses] “I can’t believe I have you all to myself, I’m so fuckin’ lucky.” [whiny, desperate] “I’m so hard it hurts, babe, can’t contain myself around you.”[Nina moans and grinds harder] “Nina, I- I…” Nina: “Tell me, Eddie.” Eddie: [kissing Nina’s jaw] “You have no idea how badly I need you.”

[Nina pulls back, surprised, stopping her movements. Eddie looks at her with cheeks flushed and lips parted, disappointed by the lack of kisses and friction]

Nina: “Need a hand?” [Eddie looks at her with raised eyebrows and a cheeky smile, Nina blushes, embarrassed] “I mean- I didn’t- not like that, I-“ [Eddie laughs at her pink cheeks] “Well, maybe like that…if you want?”

[Eddie’s lips part with excitement, arousal evident in his eyes. He kisses her again and Nina takes that as her cue to lean back, palming Eddie over his boxers, squeezing him through the thin fabric. Nina’s heart races at the feel of the thick outline of Eddie’s hard covered cock, and finds herself clenching with anticipation. Eddie groans into the kiss, his grip now tight on Nina’s hips]

Eddie: “Wait! I-“ Nina: [pulling back, worried] “Are we going too fast? I’m sorry-“ Eddie: [quickly] “No, no! I, er,” [flustered] “I want you to get off instead. Please.” Nina: (confused) “But… you…” Eddie: “I know, but I got off last time and I want to see it, I need to see it, please.” Nina: (teasing) “So polite, we don’t have to take it in turns, y’know.” Eddie: [grinning] “I know.” [determined] “But I wanna see you get off, I wanna make you feel good.” [holding her by the back of her neck again, looking at her with pleading desperate eyes] “Show me what it’s like, baby, please?” Nina: (softly) “Y- yeah, okay.” Eddie: “Like how we did the other night?” Nina: [smiling softly, fond] “However you want, handsome.” [she has an idea] “Wait, one sec.” [she leans back to rearrange herself and accidentally leans on the car horn, it beeps loudly, she jumps with fright] “Shit!”

[Eddie looks at her with adoration and amusement before bursting into laughter as Nina clutches her chest with fright.]

Nina: “Fuckin’ horn scared the shit out of me!”

[Eddie laughs harder and she scowls at him then she begins to laugh too, and the pair lean into each other in their laughter.

When the laughter subsides they rest their foreheads together, giggling softly, and then lightly kiss each other.

After kissing for a few minutes, Nina moves again, her thighs now straddling Eddie’s thick right thigh.]

Nina: “Is this okay?” Eddie: [aroused] “Ye-yeah, it’s good.” [Eddie can feel the warmth of Nina’s cunt on his bare leg, it makes his cock twitch, he gulps. He strokes Nina’s thighs, horny, eager] “You can get off like this?” Nina: (smoothly) “With you underneath me, like this? Definitely.” [Nina giggles as Eddie’s moans softly at her words. Eddie’s hands return to her hips, eager to begin] Eddie: “Smooth.” [smirking] “Ride away then, cowgirl.” Nina: (cheeky) “And you call me the smooth one.” [she wraps her arms around Eddie’s neck, pulling their bodies closer, kissing each other firmly.] Eddie: [mesmerised, running his thumb between her cleavage and down her sternum] “You’re the smooth one here,” [to himself] “So soft.” [he brings his thumb to Nina’s lips, rubbing it across her parted lips] “So beautiful.”

[Nina takes Eddie’s hand cautiously in hers and pulls his thumb towards her mouth; slipping it past her lips and sucks on it gently as she begins to move back and forth on Eddie’s thigh]

Eddie: [groaning] “Oh, fuck.” [can’t take his eyes of her, practically panting] “You’re gonna kill me.”

[Nina giggles as she removes thumb, kissing down the side of his hand, releasing it and begins kissing Eddie’s neck, her breasts pressed against his chest.

Eddie’s eyes close in bliss. I’ve died and gone to heaven, he thinks. Nina’s sits on his thigh and rocks herself back and forth as she kisses Eddie’s neck; feeling his racing pulse under her lips.]

Nina: [panting, clutching at Eddie’s neck] “Feels good, Eddie.” [a harder grind down pushes Nina’s underwear against her throbbing clit, causing her to softly whine] “Really good.” Eddie: [mumbled into her hair and shoulder, inhaling her deeply, guiding her hips] “Keep going, baby.” Nina: [her head hangs back, hair trailing down her back as she moans, squirming against Eddie’s thigh] “Oh god.” [her hands roam across his shoulders and chest; she bites her lip] “You’ve got such a nice body, honey.” [rubbing his chest, eyes filled with lust as her hand trails down his torso] Eddie: [in awe, flushed, achingly hard] “You think so?” Nina: [dreamily, breathless] “I know so.” [her hand goes to his face, stroking his cheek, staring deeply into his eyes] “So handsome.” [chewing her lip, eyes closing, Eddie’s relishes in her expression] “Like having you under me.” [Eddie moans and grips her hips tighter, pushing and pulling her against his thigh, her chest heaves with her exertion.]

[Nina’s hand reaches to the roof of Eddie’s van, searching for something to dig her nails into, pleasure coursing through her. Eddie kisses and bites at her neck and her soft moans become louder and more frequent, her grinding harder.]

Eddie: [mesmerised, hands on Nina’s hips to guide her movements] “You’re so wet Nina, can feel it on my leg. You like riding my thigh, princess?” Nina: “I do, Eddie, fuck!” Eddie: “So perfect, such a good girl.” Nina: [with wide eyes, aroused, moaning] “Say that again, Eddie.” Eddie: [darkly, half lidded, panting] “You like me calling you a good girl?” [Nina whimpers in response, pressing herself down harder on Eddie’s thigh] Nina: [pleading] “Please, baby.” Eddie: [relishing seeing Nina’s reactions, confident, in awe] “Come on Nina, cum on my thigh like the good girl you are.” Nina: [resting her head on Eddie’s shoulder, desperate] “Jesus, Eddie!”

[Eddie’s head lulls on the headrest, eyes closed, breathing deeply as he tries to contain himself when Nina pants and whimpers in his ear; her breath tingling his damp skin. He wraps his arms around Nina’s back, pulling her tight to him to stabilise her, biting and kissing her neck as she grinds on him, determined to push Nina over the edge.]

Nina: [moaning] “Jesus, Eddie, fuck!” [she holds onto the car grab handle tightly, using it to stabilise herself as she grinds down harder on Eddie’s thigh] “I’m so close, oh god.”

[He jumps to action and pulls Nina away from him to her surprise, yanking down the bra she wore to expose her breasts, confidently taking one in his hand and the other in his mouth. As Nina leans back in surprise, her hand catches the volume dial on the radio; the volume goes from quiet to loud, ‘I was made for loving you’ by KISS plays loudly in the car. Nina lets out a loud moan at Eddie sucking on her chest and her movements become harder and deeper, that tingly feeling in her insides becoming stronger]

Nina: “Eddie, ‘m close, oh my god I wanna cum so bad, please baby, oh god!” Eddie: [mumbles into her breasts, he gently bites and pulls at her nipple, her eyes roll back] “Love hearing you beg for me, sweetheart.” Nina: [at breaking point] “Eddie!” Eddie: [licking, kissing, biting her chest and neck, panting, wild, untamed, gripping her ass hard to force her movements when she begins to tire] “Say my name when you cum for me, lemme hear it, wanna hear it so badly.” Nina: [head flung back, desperate, so close] “Fuck, Eddie!” Eddie: [determined, heart racing] “That’s it baby, c’mon, say it.” Nina: [gripping the hand rail tightly with one hand, the other clawing at Eddie, her thighs begin to shake] “Eddie, I’m coming, I’m coming, oh god!” Eddie: [looking up at her as he kisses her chest, in awe] “Good girl, baby.”

[That tips Nina over the edge]

Nina: “Oh fuck, Eddie!” [her trembling thighs clamp down hard over Eddie’s, her body shaking with her orgasm, Eddie watches lustfully, in delight, trained on her every move. Her body blossoms as she orgasms, her shoulders pushed back, her chest pushed out towards Eddie, her head flung back in pleasure.]

Eddie: [softly groaning] “Fuck.” [he relishes in watching Nina tremble above him, his own orgasm catching him by surprise as his stomach tenses, thighs twitch and balls heave as he cums in his boxers, his throbbing cock aching and twitching in his boxers] “Oh fuck, Jesus.”

Nina: (dazed) “Did you just…”

Eddie: [breathless] “Yeah, I did.”

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[Eddie is finishing up in the bathroom. He spits out toothpaste into the sink, humming along to “I was made for loving you” by KISS, stuck replaying on his head since the van. He can hear Nina laughing in the living room.

His eyebrows furrow with confusion as he hears Nina talking, along with another voice. He walks out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist.]

Wayne: “…And then he fell face first into the puddle of mud! It took his mother hours to get the mud out of his hair!” [looking up to see Eddie] “Oh hey, Eddie!” Nina: [shyly, blushing at Eddie in just a towel, despite seeing him semi-naked before] “Hey, Eddie.” Eddie: [surprised] “W-What are you doing here, Wayne?” Wayne: [grinning, knowing] “I got an early finish at the plant. We just ordered Chinese. Our regular place was closed so we had to order from somewhere else.” Eddie: [suspicious at Wayne] “You got me the usual?” Wayne: “Chow Mein with extra fried rice and-“ Wayne and Nina at the same time: “Duck pancakes.” Nina: (smiling softly) “We know.”

[Eddie looks at them fondly, heart warmed.]

Eddie: “I’ll be right back.”

[Eddie gets changed into his pyjamas, smiling to himself as he hears laughter from Wayne and Nina in the living room. He joins them shortly after, plonking himself on the couch beside Nina, pulling her into him, her legs bent over his long legs.]

Wayne: “What are we watching then, kids?” Nina: “Evil Dead, then Chucky!” Wayne: [tutting, shaking his head] “The tripe you kids watch nowadays, sheesh.” ----------------------------------------------------

Wayne: [with a mouth full of noodles, pointing at the television with his chopsticks, frowning] “Surely if they didn’t read from the scary book, none of this would have happened.” Nina: [vindicated, excited] “Thank you!”

[Eddie rolls his eyes but can’t hide the smile on his face]

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Nina: [knocking on the door, worried] “Eddie? You okay in there?” [Eddie groans behind the door] “Can I come in?” [Eddie thumps the door closed, before vomiting again in the toilet] “I’ve brought you some pain killers and water.”

[She hears shuffling on the floor and the door opens ajar.]

Nina: [concerned] “How’re you feeling?” Eddie: [pale, sweaty, clinging to the toilet bowl] “I don’t think dodgy Chinese and lake water mix.”

[Nina stifles a giggle and sets down the glass beside him, handing him the pain killers]

Nina: (teasing) “Pretty sure you’re just chickenshit scared of the Evil Dead, that’s all.”

[Eddie laughs then groans, holding his stomach]

Eddie: “Don’t make me laugh, it hurts.” [embarrassed, can’t look Nina in the eye] “You don’t have to stay, it’s okay.” Nina: (softly) “Who else is going to hold your hair back?” [pushing the glass of water near him] “Drink.” [he gulps at the water greedily] “Sip, honey, sip. You’ll hurt your stomach more.” [he begins to sip slowly, putting the glass down and gasping for air] “Better?” Eddie: “A bit.” [he watches as Nina runs a cloth under cold water and sits beside him. He looks at her with doe eyes, feeling ashamed. He looks down, embarrassed, speaking self deprecatingly] “Was our first date everything you expected then?” Nina: [snorting] “It was the best.” [She wipes the cold cloth over Eddie’s face and rests it on his forehead, he sighs happily] “One of the most eventful first dates I’ve had.” [Eddie snorts bitterly, looking down] “I had a lot of fun though.” Eddie: (unsure, hopeful) “Yeah?” Nina: (fondly) “Yeah.” [wiping his brow, pushing his fringe back, Eddie avoids her eyes] “You know how to show a girl a good time.” Eddie: [chuckling softly, eyes fluttering] “I do try.” Nina: (softer still) “You don’t even have to try.” [Eddie looks up, eyes glistening hopefully] “I had a great time, Eddie. Lake water, dodgy Chinese and all.” [she presses a kiss on his forehead, he smiles peacefully] “Ready for bed?”

[Eddie begins to move off the floor but groans]

Eddie: “Not yet, the floor is nice and cold and my stomach still hurts.” Nina: [patting her lap] “Come here then.”

[Eddie lies down with his head in her lap, body curled into the foetus position on the floor. Nina gently presses the cold cloth against him as he sighs with content.]

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Wayne: “Night kids.” [he walks past the bathroom to find the light still on.] “Kids?” [Pushing the door open a crack, he sees Eddie asleep on the floor, head on Nina’s lap, Nina asleep against the cold tile wall of the bathroom. Wayne shakes his head, amused, talking to himself] “Well, Eddie, I approve.” [he turns off the bathroom light] “Goodnight.”

A/N: So sorry this chapter took so long to come out! I'm genuinely sick of the sight of it now, it took so long to write and so long to edit! Hopefully chapter 12 will be easier!

Thank you for reading! Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated :)

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Next Chapter : Chapter Twelve - Jaws

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