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istarveforplatonicptnstuff · 1 year ago

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Commiting tax evasion with Bai yi as your ceo...

Girl... I don't even know how you got here but... You were very likely HIGHKEY scammed by miss gurl... 🦗🦗🦗 Yeah... Why did you apply in a shady company anyways...? But you probably was LOOKING 👀 for a job that can PAY the bills 💵💵💵 but spoilers, you were UNDERPAID, OVERWORKED, and most esp. Not even paid anyways... 🙄🙄🙄 So forget what I said about being paid little because girl you are not paid even once while you were working with this stink... 😑

You decided to apply for a job position as her assistant... In Syndicate. Pooks... This should've been your first red flag, but NOPE! You were DESPERATE. For what though? 🤨 And the flyer wasn't... That great like sis... Again, another red flag... Couldn't you just... 🏃‍♀️💨 away from the moment you saw the flyer? (/j I'm holding you in 😰🔫 point so, you didn't have a choice anyway 💅) But who even reads nowadays as long as, we get PAID 🤑🤑🤑 right? So, fast forward to you clutching your pearls and barely making it out alive to meet with the interviewer... Maam. Major red flag, the building looked run-down.

Pookie... 🤧 You didn't almost get stabbed, kidnapped, mugged, and possibly even get robbed for your kidney for this... 😭😭😭 Finally, your employer shows up in this DRIP 💧, what you doing???

Remember when I said that you have the option to say no? I didn't say anything 😇 The thing is, you can't. You just CANT. Look me in the eye and tell me that this girl wouldn't do SHIT to you rn... Be serious, because I don't even think you're gonna walk out of the interview scot free sis... Nah uh, not at all... Sis looks like she is about to beat the SHIT out of you, and will most likely sell your organs after that... 🥺🥺🥺 Luckily, she spoke up and had that mom vibe that you almost instantaneously calm down...

After hyperventilating and K.K giving you odd looks as well... Finally you were in the "company" Yay? 🧍‍♀️ You stood there staring at the dusty ass couch and a man who looked VERY sleep-deprived. You learned that Che was their name. But why is he dressed up like he about to go for a hike...? Sighs, i don't think you'll ever get the fashion of Syndicate... You and the two held a mini staring contest like you two were Communicating, that K.K was confused at the random moment she had to snap ya'll out of it and discuss the job details... The job being, you doing all the paperwork... For 50 discoins per hour. Stink, you're screwed 😃

Obviously, you were about to decline... Until finally, the CEO showed up. Sighs. You ask to yourself, was this really worth the trip and the STRUGGLE you went through? Stink cannot even bribe you with her face card because you still had to pay the billssssss 😞

Bai yi shows up, you hear the sound of sirens and cops speaking through the megaphone. 🤡 You really thought this was going to be the las time you'll be seeing daylight, like sis you were going to JAIL. ⛓⛓⛓ For existing. The three of them noticed and explains casually that this is their hideout, and no one's breached here before. You raised a brow at the statement, skeptical at how relaxed they were acting 🤨🤨🤨 Like who you fooling??? Though you can't speak for yourself when, you waltzed into Syndicate knowing DAMN well that this place was bad news... So you kept it to yourself 🥰

Of course, Bai yi bribes you to stay and become Whitestone Industries assistant with a sob story that can make you cry... Except you weren't gullible enough and walked out of the door, preferring to get arrested instead, lmao 🤭🤭🤭 Sis chased you down the stairs like it was a kdrama scene, grabbing your arm and acting like this was the last time ya'll seeing each other 💀 girl, you can never escape her because she's all over and like, she's a criminal, what else? 🤓 You ended up accepting in the end, because you wasted your time for this... Making K.K sigh in relief since she finally isn't alone with two idiots... Unless you add up to the equation then... 😶

Timeskip to a month, you and sis was WORKING. Helping them out with ✨Graphic design is my passion✨ motto since you wanted to get rid off the... Terrible... Designs that they come up with when they release an ad, flyer, or promotion post. You kinda got used to the usual, illegal work they do because why not? 😎 You already gave up in paying the bills, so why not commit tax evasion as well, right? You asked Bai yi tips on how to tax evade 🏃‍♀️ K.K was beyond mortified at the sudden camaraderie that came after the event, making you and Bai yi besties 🤝 Friendship ended with the government 💔 Tax evasion is my pookie now 🥰

You are being hunt down by the police as well, causing you to move to Syndicate, living with K.K, Che, and Bai yi currently. Life was good, until Bai yi kept bringing more problems than solutions everyday, causing you to become one of the MOTHER 👩‍🦰 alongside with K.K, making sure the other two stay out of trouble because they're a magnet for chaos, apparently. K.K's words, not mine 🤷‍♀️ More on that when I think of part two! An: My exam in a major subject FLOPPED. 👎📉 /j, I'm overthinking so I cope with writing unserious shit to think less of it, and hopefully make the redemption in finalsssss HISSSS 🐍 RAH❗❗❗ 🦅 But anyways, to more UNSERIOUS, and UNHINGED shit to come!!! But also some serious ptn stuff (Like the nursing intern one)

#platonic path to nowhere x reader #path to nowhere #ptn #path to nowhere x reader #platonic ptn #ptn bai yi x reader #bai yi x reader #K.K x reader #Che x reader #Ptn x reader #platonic ptn scenarios #platonic ptn x reader #platonic path to nowhere

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nomorefstogive · 1 year ago

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PtN SFW Headcanons Part 3: Che

Hello all, we are here for the third installment of this mess of a fic, this one featuring a Sinner recommended to us by EinarKaslana Ao3, who also gave us the idea of who the next Sinner to be featured here will be, that said, the Sinner we are focusing on today is the enigmatic axe and knife wielder of Whitestone Industries, KK’s second pain in the neck, and a Sinner whose past is mired in mystery and enigma-

Che

1. He owns multiple sleeping bags of varying size and quality, several of which seem to be either hand made by a third party or by Che himself, though he will only smirk when asked which of the two options it is.

2. He has formed an unlikely friendship with Corso and Wolverine over their shared disdain for animal abusers, when they go out to hunt one down or to bust a fighting ring, he seems to come alive and display a truly remarkable amount of vigor as opposed to his normal demeanor.

3. He can use guns, and is actually quite adept with pistols, he simply prefers his blades due to sentimental reasons.

4. He has mastered the art of sleeping in uncomfortable positions and situations, from being able to sleep while standing up, to being able to sleep while having several bullet and blade wounds from mania weapons.

Granted, the last time he fell asleep while injured he almost gave KK and Bai Yi heart attacks as they believed he was dead due to his lack of a response, only for him to wake up when they mentioned getting Anne to take a look at him.

5. He has an instinctive fear of doctors, or rather any form of medical professional, while he may have some degree of trust in Anne and Iron, due to Bai Yi and KK vouching for them and for them having saved his life several times while the trio was in Syndicate and since joining the prison, he still prefers to not seek them out unless it is a matter of life and death.

6. He is ambidextrous, and uses this to subtly mess with people by making them think one hand is his dominant, only to use the opposite hand for something the next day or such.

7. He once asked the Chief if he could be put in a padded cell, his logic was that all he would need was a blanket and he could use the cell itself as his bed. That the chief had begun to laugh as KK lectured him as she told him that it was not an option and that it was not how padded cells work, only led to him sighing and instead asking the Chief for a more comfortable bed.

The Chief granted the request after she had finished laughing to herself.

8. Caffeine and sugar do not wake him up, on the contrary they make him even more tired, with Summer’s special blend of coffee having put him to sleep for nearly 2 days straight, something that led to the genius being berated by KK and Bai-Yi once they discovered her involvement.

9. He once painted his eyelids to look like his eyes and fell asleep, somehow he even managed to speak in his sleep and blink his ‘eyes’ in a convincing enough manner that no one figured it out till KK saw him, sighed, and walked over and smacked him on the head to wake him up.

10. The story of him gaining his driver’s license is a long and complicated one that involves the Chief pulling some strings for him to take a test to get one,, a wheel that popped off a few minutes into the test, several gangsters on motorcycles, and Bai Yi and KK trying to run interference before an RPG was launched at them and split them and Che up.

In addition to a mall that needed a new entry door, escalators, several new store fronts, a fountain, several new columns, and a new exit door along with several damaged vehicles and cases of injuries.

The tale ended with a battered and broken vehicle resting in a parking lot as the instructor hyperventilated into a paper bag as Che fought off a few gangsters before asking if he passed or failed the test.

He did indeed pass, perhaps out of the instructors fear of something similar happening if they were ever to be involved with Che again, or perhaps out of an exasperated Chief and a cackling Langley having had a conversation with them, to sway their mind.

11. He is actually a surprisingly good cook when he wants to be, and has many times helped Kelvin and Ignis in the kitchen after KK ordered him to, though he has also been seen sneaking into the kitchen to make meals for the rest of Whitestone Industries.

That he leaves a list of all that he has taken and used that night in making said meal has earned him no small amount of praise from the kitchen staff.

12. He hates riding motorcycles, he simply feels they are too unsafe despite the speed and maneuverability they offer, and as such prefers the relative security of a truck or of any other form of vehicle as opposed to Bai-Yi’s preferred ride.

That he can also use the other vehicles as improvised weapons and battering rams for when the situation arises, and that he can recline back in the seat or lay down across the back seat and go to sleep is also a factor in his bias towards other vehicles.

Of course, the fact that bai-Yi once launched him off of her motorcycle and into a pile of garbage does not help matters either.

13. He pities the Chief, seeing their constant attempts at bettering the world as respectable, but at the same time ultimately futile given the scope of just what they are up against, though he cannot deny there is a part of him that wants to see the Chief succeed, and since KK and Bai-Yi are so fond of them he has decided to do what he can to help them…so long as it does not interfere in his nap time that is.

14. He suffers from chronic pains centered around his patch covered eye, the intensity of which varies from a dull ache to a piercing agony depending on the amount of Mania in the area around him, he has learned to fight through the pain when it comes to battles and day to day activities and will give little to no sign he is suffering aside from a slight clenching of his jaw.

Bai-Yi and KK have learned to read him well enough to know when he needs to be forced to get some rest before the pain overwhelms him, with the Chief having learned about the matter due to their connection through the Shackles, with her having nearly been incapacitated by the pain before she was able to figure out who it was coming from.

As a result, he now has a prescription for high dosage pain-killers that he stubbornly refuses to use unless the pain is to the point of nearly taking both him and the Chief down.

15. He does not like wearing suits, at all. That said, he is able to pull off a surprisingly roguish look when he does wear one, to the point of having to flee and make up excuses to escape the number of men and women that try and get his number.

There is actually a video of this happening that began to circulated around the Bureau after Che was asked to attend a part with the Chief as part of a mission, he has since been hounded by many of the guards and sinners alike to wear one again, with Garofano having even offered to tailor make him a suit, an offer he quite vocally refused.

That said, he does have one in reserve for any special mission that needs it, he just hopes ne never has to wear it again…or that he gets paid extra for wearing it if the need arises.

16. He has managed to bond with Hella and Ninety-Nine over a shared hatred for a certain Umbrella Salesman, a nickname that has spread across the Bureau much to his amusement, and an equally intense hatred for mad scientists.

17. Through means known but to himself, whatever God was watching at the time, and those involved, he once managed to smuggle several dozen dogs and cats into his cell with no one knowing.

How they remained hidden from the security cameras and guards, no one has been able to figure out, with Nightingale having posted a reward for anyone that can help her to understand how apparently everyone in the bureau, including the cameras, were blind to the makeshift pound that had formed in Che’s cell.

The animals were only discovered when Dudu, having recently purchased a new set of speakers, began to practice her Suona, with every single dog and cat in the cell beginning to howl at her in unison as they sung the songs of their people to try and get her to stop playing.

Upon learning of this incident, the Chief and Nightingale went to investigate Che’s cell and, upon opening the door, were greeted by dozens of dogs and cats turning to look at them, including the sizable Saint Bernard that was laying on top of Che at the time.

The Chief was impressed, Nightingale was not.

The animals then decided they wanted to stretch their legs and promptly bolted with every Sinner and staff member that was available having to work together to hunt them down and corral them again.

In the aftermath of the incident, due to an overwhelming number of complaints regarding the animals having to be sent to a shelter, and the weaponization of puppy dog pouts from the Triple C Alliance of the Children, the Chief, and Che, Nightingale consigned to the Bureau gaining a kennel that Che surprisingly dutifully helps tend to.

18. He is…less than fond of Shalom, having made it clear to the chief that he refuses to be put on any assignment with her, especially if she is assigned to the role of the team leader, a trait shared with Bai-Yi.

Likewise, he once picked a fight with Rahu, the exact circumstances of which being unknown aside from footage showing them speaking for a few moments before Rahu attacked him as a response to some form of taunt or such that Che had said to her.

The fight ended with both of them needing treatment from Dr. Iron and Nurse Anne, as well as both having to spend time in differing isolation cells, with neither offering any form of explanation for the brawl aside from citing a ‘difference of opinions on certain matters.’

As to what opinions they differed on such that Che wound up flung into, and then through, a cell wall, with Rahu suffering a black eye as well, still remains unknown, though if the glare Che leveled at Shalom when they crossed paths afterwards is anything to go by…

19. During a test of each of the Sinners combat abilities, Che attempted to coast by with the bare minimum of effort, only for the Chief to persuade him to give the test his all by offering him several days of vacation if he reached a certain threshold in the test.

Che promptly came to rank in the top 20 of those tested, only being beaten for a position in the top 10 due to an incident involving him sparring with Zoya and his axe damaging her shirt enough for the Chief, who was acting as the examiner, to see that Zoya was wearing a dark blue bra that day.

Thankfully, Che survived and received his days of vacation once he was discharged from the ICU.

20. When someone continuously flirted with KK despite her desires for them to stop during a mission, he and Bai-Yi took it upon themselves to ensure the would be Cassanova had a night he would not forget.

From Bai-Yi pilfering their wallet before they could pay and then draining their account with it at an ATM across the street before returning it to them with her speed preventing them from noticing what had happened until it was too late.

To Che, who was pretending to be a waiter, lacing their food with laxatives that he had on him for some reason and sabotaging their car to insure that not only would it not start, but that even if it could they would need to find new tires, windshield wipers, and door handles.

And that was assuming they found a way to get the sugar and salt mixture out of their gas tank.

21. He has a map of napping spots and hiding places across the Bureau proudly displayed in his room, with his reason for not hiding it being simply that there are too many places to search to find him unless the Chief really needs him.

That he has made a habit of carrying a smaller version of said map around the Bureau and selling similar small versions to other Sinners, is something that has driven Adjutant Nightingale mad many times over, especially when she found a copy on the Chief’s desk.

22. He has a habit of training animals, and while this can be a good thing, his habit of teaching them things in the interest of helping himself out around the house has a tendency to backfire spectacularly.

For example, he once attempted to train a Chihuahua that he had named Lucifer, given the way its fur seemed to shape into horns, to steal food for him from the kitchen, only for the process to end with the Chihuahua stealing most of the meat from the kitchen and keeping it for itself in a den it had made in the ventilation system, with Corso, Wolverine, and Pippy having to be called in to assist in retrieving the meat from the ferocious beast guarding it.

In the end, there was no meat left for the cafeteria that day and Che was somehow outed as the one responsible, more than likely by a particularly vengeful Chief who now had to re-order an entire stock of meat for the kitchen, thus leading to him having to contend with several irate Sinners that had been looking forward to the meal that was on the list that day, thankfully he managed to avoid a stay in the hospital wing, albeit by virtue of bolting and hiding until the next day when Bai-Yi informed him of what was heading his way.

In a similar vein he once attempted to teach a cat called Blank, after the blank look it would give everyone around it, to retrieve money and shiny objects for him, with the process ending when he realized the cat had brought back underwear belonging to Adjutant Nightingale, Nurse Anne, Countess Chelsea, and Cabernet.

Upon leaving the ICU he decided to cease his attempts at teaching animals to help him…for now.

23. His room is rather cozy in its design, despite not being padded like he wished it to be, with plenty of plush furniture in deep colors that he put together himself filling it, several bookshelves and a small tv resting on a night stand at the foot of his bed.

The only downside to his cell turned room is that it is near to Dudu’s cell, down the hall to be exact, and as such he has many times been awoken from his naps by the sound of her Suona blaring, his own attempts at soundproofing having done little to combat her playing.

He has likewise vowed to either fully soundproof his room, or to destroy each and every Suona in Dis, come hell or high water one of those will be done…or maybe both.

24. While he does not trust, or even necessarily like Langley, he is willing to work with her if it ends up making life difficult for Parma, or if it is for the purpose of protecting the Chief and the Bureau.

They may not like one another, but they hate the Umbrella Salesman and those that go after the Chief more.

25. Once upon a time he managed to get locked in a zoo in East Side, the exact reason has been lost to time but is said to have involved himself, a locker, a blanket, a pillow, and a near 2 day long assignment that was finally done, and a moment where he could slip away from everyone and nap.

By the time it was made apparent that he was missing, Che had somehow managed to slip into multiple enclosures and somehow, by means known to no one but himself and the animals involved, he managed to seemingly tame each of the animals he encountered, leading to him being found in the center of the zoo with an assortment of animals gathered around him as he napped.

The Chief was torn between being impressed he had managed to somehow tame even the beasts dredged up from the depths of WhiteSands, such as a rather sizable giant scorpion, and exasperated as she had to argue with the zoo over if they could employ Che to work for them due to the Zoo manager being impressed with his ability to get the animals to do what he wanted.

In the end it was decided that Che would be free to offer up his services to the Zoo for a commission fee, and so long as he did not bring any of the beasts back to the Bureau, the chief would not interfere and would keep it logged as a special dispatch mission for him and whoever else felt like going with him.

26. He often call KK and Bai-Yi his sisters when doing describing them to others, though he has yet to call them such to their faces, whether or not they know of how he seems to view them is unknown, though if the way they often refer to him as their brother is anything to go by, then it is likely they are fully aware of it.

And that is all we have for the slacker of White Stone Industries, we would like to apologize for the delay with posting this, we admittedly hit several walls of Writer's Block writing this and it has left us feeling a bit unsatisfied with this, but we feel this is a good stopping place for now.

With that said, we hope you all enjoyed this chapter, we will either be updating our other PtN Fic, Our Dearest Sin, our Genshin fic, or this one, or perhaps it will be our Azur Lane fic, admittedly we are whining it with which one gets our attention at this point lol.

That said, we hope you all stay safe and take care.

Till next time.

#ptn che #ptn #ptn headcanons #path to nowhere che #path to nowhere #path to nowhere headcanons

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