#cleaning compulsions

[yandecifi]

Dirty

bakugo/reader

more textfic than anything

~1000 words

hurt/comfort ; ocd ; cleaning compulsions ; one shot ; text fic

The carpet is musty. That, and the fact that all you can think about are feet and socks in your mouth when you have your face in it, are the reasons your head is turned to the ceiling despite lying on your side. You’re going to have the worst neck pain in the morning.

It’s ten o’clock at night and you’re spread on the floor like you’ve been murdered. You haven’t been, you’re just trying to sleep. Why are you doing this to yourself when there’s a perfectly good bed next to you? Well, obviously, it’s because you didn’t have your slippers on when you left the shower.

You’re lying in the ‘bad but good corner’. Your room is split into mental sections: the ‘bad but good corner’ next to your desk (acceptable for dirty), your desk (split up into smaller sections for dirty and clean, a world of its own), your bed (clean, absolutely do not touch), and that small, square space around your door (acceptable for dirty) that’s called the ‘entryway.’ You’re dirty right now, not dirty enough to warrant sleeping in the hall, but dirty. You feel its familiar weight on your shoulders and the buzz in your skull.

hayyayayy <

10:11

You spend around thirty seconds squinting at your phone screen. Alas, waiting and praying in Bakugo’s dms doesn’t produce a response.

>what

10:13

Oh. Well, maybe it does.

ur up!! <

10:13

>go to sleep

10:13

ik but i can’t and im rlly bored <

10:13

do u wanna talk or smthng <

10:13

i mean if ur trying to sleep obvi go back to that <

10:13

like don’t feel pressured <

10:13

if u get what I mean <

10:13

like <

10:13

I mean don’t be pressured because I said don’t feel pressured <

10:14

yk? <

10:14

>holy shit stop

10:14

>I can’t sleep either

10:14

>do whatever you want

10:14

YAYAYAYY!!!! <

10:14

so why r u up so late? <

10:14

dont u go to bed at 8 <

10:14

>8:32

10:15

>and I just said I can’t sleep

10:15

oh <

10:15

I mean is there a reason orrrr <

10:15

no it jusd happens sometimes

10:15

that sucks <

10:15

insomnia? <

10:15

Bakugo doesn’t respond right away. You shift your position on the floor, waiting for him to say something. The buzz gets stronger; you take a couple of deep breaths because your lungs feel like they’re being squeezed.

>who cares

10:16

So, you realize, picking at your eyelashes. Something’s bothering him, too.

meeeeeewwww <33333 <

10:16

You see his bubble and rush to fit yourself in before he tells you he’s leaving.

JKJKJK <

10:16

but like wdym who cares :((( <

10:16

obvi I do!! <

10:16

ok I’m doing it again <

10:16

but I do <

10:16

I mean <

10:16

…ok ill stop lol pls don’t sceeam <

10:16

>why are you up

10:17

You blink at the phone. You’re getting itchy from the carpet.

playing smash w denki <

10:17

>on his switch?

10:17

yeah why <

10:17

u jealous? <

10:17

>lmfao no

10:17

>ur just full of shit

10:17

>sparky left his switch home last weekend

10:17

oh <

10:17

>are you on the floor again?

10:17

who knows <

10:17

>what the hell is wrong with you

10:17

>ffs

10:17

ngl that hurt a bit <

10:18

but yeah ikik stfuuuu ik it’s weird <

10:18

exactly why i lied about it <

10:18

>then stop doing it and go to bed

10:18

bruh <

10:18

ok how about u just fall asleep <

10:18

it’s easy right lol why aren’t u just doing it <

10:18

just go to sleep lol??? It’s so easy just close ur eyes why are u awake wdym u canr sleep <

10:18

>chill

10:18

>its not that deep

10:18

ok but like do u know how stupid u sound <

10:18

to me <

10:18

sorry I kinda got defensive <

10:19

I didn’t mean all that <

10:19

I’m really sorry <

10:19

>it’s fine

10:19

>I was beinf too blunt anyway

10:19

i still overrearcted <

10:19,

im sorry <

10:19

>shut up I just said it’s fine

10:19

>do you seriously have to do this tho

10:19

yeah <

10:19

>why??

10:20

idk <

10:20

like it’s hard to explain but it’s rlly uncomfy when I get dirty <

10:20

like srsly uncomfy <

10:20

like i cry <

10:20

>the floor is dirtier than your bed??

10:20

ik but like it’s more getting my bed dirty than me <

10:20

so I sleep on the floor since it’s dirty and I’m dirty <

10:20

>okay

10:20

>you showered right? wasn’t that it

10:20

>that made you clean or whatever

10:20

awwww u remembered? <

10:21

but yes but I didn’t wear my slippers so <

10:21

I touched the floor with my feet <

10:21

ik it makes no sense there’s no way to explain it and I’m not asking you to understand or anything just like I can’t not do this so you don’t have to tell me it’s stupid bc I already know <

10:21

>so you can’t sleep on your bed because you’re dirty

10:21

yes <

10:21

>but you can sleep on the floor?

10:21

yes <

10:21

ik it’s weird u don’t have to rub it in <

10:21

>I’m not just does it have to be the floor?

10:22

>I mean can you sleep in other places

10:22

uuuhh yes but aizawa gets mad when I sleep in the commons so I can’t do the couch <

10:22

look man I’ve already thought of this I wouldn’t be sleeping on the floor if I didn’t have to lol <

10:22

>can you sleep in other beds?

10:22

yes <

10:22

I think <

10:22

it depends <

10:22

but it’s srsly weird to explain this to ppl tho <

10:22

I don’t wanna try to explain this to Mina lol <

10:22

like ur the only one that knows <

10:22

>okay then come to my room dumbass

10:23

You fidget. The smile that creeps up your face is heinous.

okay :) <

[weepingwillows-sweethibiscustea]

It is soo fucked up that managing OCD means ignoring your compulsions… what do you MEAN to make the gross feeling go away I have to STOP washing my hands?

[stellerssong]

🍓🍄🌿 (picked the last one to continue with the plant/natural world theme honestly)

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

the need to have in hand the stories i’d been wanting to read my entire life finally hit critical mass and overturned the debilitating social anxiety/OCD magical thinking that told me i would be pelted with eggs and rotten fruit for daring to inflict my thoughts (and thots) upon other residents of the internet. only took 25 years, folks! prior to this i was simply trying to cram all of my nascent fanned fiction into the tags field of random posts on tumblr dot edu, which i’m sure was not annoying AT ALL for anyone making the posts that came under my fire.

now obviously i do not have that problem and i tag things normally.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

eurydice hadestown is very handy with quick mental math and its applications, i.e. calculating tips, making change, emergency budgeting, guesstimating prices, etc. orpheus hadestown can subdivide ONLY in the context of musical time signatures and only ever passed a math class beyond algebra 2 because he has big sad eyes and his teachers felt bad that he was clearly trying really hard. this is perpetually baffling to eurydice, who is just like "if you tip 15% it’s 10% of the bill plus half of that, so you just move the decimal up a place and then divide that number by two and then add them and—" and orpheus is like no no that’s already too many steps. and she’s like well what do you just not tip your barista because it’s too many steps? asshole? and he’s like of course not! i always tip two dollars. and she’s like on a four dollar coffee? that’s a 50% tip?? and he’s like well no that one was $4.38, see, it’s just easier to not have to do the math. and she’s like [screams]

for orpheus’ part, he can diagram chord progressions to an extent that causes eurydice to lapse into a defensive coma, but of course that has no practical applications.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

no, YOU give ME some advice on writer’s block and low creativity!!!

i dunno, man, all the stuff that works for me is stuff that’s been said more eloquently elsewhere. if you’ve written one sentence that’s a sentence that didn’t exist before and therefore you have increased the thing. the time will pass anyway so you may as well pass it making something. sometimes you just need to look at another project, another fandom, another creative hobby, a tree, instead of your current project. you’re allowed to just think about it if thinking about it is all you have the heart to do. it’s easy to mistake the plateau before leveling up for stagnation, and it’s easy to mistake the upward climb for rotting and crumbling into dust.

you’re always improving. every day you wake up and see with your eyes and hear with your ears and think about the world around you, you’re banking sense-impressions and test-running dialog and feeling emotions that might one day find their way into a project. and this too is writing, in its way.

ask meme

[exteenpopstar]

The only good thing about it being this humid is that no activity i do is going to make me feel MORE gross

[coping-with-humor]

[huellitaa]

"im so ocd" "im getting ocd" babe you saw a pen in the wrong spot and put it back to its original position. ocd is not perfectionism

[rosekiller-addict]

okay but barty who has ocd

[da-janela-lateral]

Someone threw a dead cow in a river and now the entire town's water is contaminated fuckkkkkkkk

[coping-with-humor]

[favouritefi]

miami supercon comics aka babys first solo trip to the outside world

[hungriesttable]

if I had a nickel for every time I read a random shonen jump series with an autistic MC who I was NOT expecting at all I would have two nickels. which is not a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice (should happen more)

[enigmaticgale]

i've been liking entirely too many posts lately so now a) the number is so big it stresses me out and b) my queue is empty. woe, woe is me

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[carnage-cathedral]

she also had a massive tantrum about the litterboxes not being kept clean enough so I set myself on a strict schedule of doing them every 3 or 4 days, but then just recently said "you know you don't need to do that so often" which confirmed that not only does she not actually care that much, but that she's also clearly not actually seeing or acknowledging the work I'm doing now

[dark-twist-fairytales]

i love how, sometimes, the answer is just "why not both?"

[bronzetomatoes]

wish i could deactivate my account for like a month and then come back