#closest friends out of their main - or only - job

[holdingcourtwiththevoid]

Ludwig lowkey does it like no other

[artficlly]

letters of devotion [one-shot]

marvel band au drummer!bucky x waitress! reader

you sent filthy, anonymous letters and nudes to the drummer of your favourite band, never expecting he’d read them. never expecting he’d keep them. never expecting he’d show up at your diner one night, more than eager to fulfil your fantasies.

Warnings: 18+ content minors dni, smut, multiple orgasms, forced orgasm (consentual), oral (f receiving), fingering, p n v, unprotected sex, praise kink, explicit consent, aftercare, reader is horny lol, daydreaming smut scenarios, beefy bucky, band au, diner au, love letters, fangirl/obsession, lowkey depressed/sad reader, bucky is a menace, bucky matches reader's freak levels, use of the petname sweetheart, no use of y/n, lmk if i've missed anything

Word Count: 6.4k

A/N: hi, thank you for 5k followers! as a treat, have this absolute filth. i think this is the closest you'll ever get to smut w no plot from me lmao, i went through every stage of grief writing this. inspired by dinner in america + spun my prompt wheel and got band au / beefy - not proof read.

main masterlist

You were starting to think your obsession with the Winter Soldier wasn’t just unhealthy, it was pathological.

Two hours into your shift at Sal’s Diner, buried in the itch of your polyester uniform and the reek of burnt coffee, you’d already drifted off into fantasy more times than you could count on both hands. Daydreams clawed at the edge of your attention like static, buzzing louder with every second you spent beneath the flickering fluorescents. You’d nearly poured hot coffee straight into a trucker’s lap. His barked ‘watch it!’ still rang in your ears as you’d scrambled with a rag, your hands shaking as liquid pooled across the table. You’d forgotten table four’s extra side of bacon, missed table six’s banana smoothie with extra whip.

You hated this place. Hated the chipped pink tiles, the dusty jukebox that hadn’t worked in years, the scent of grease that soaked into your skin no matter how many showers you took. But more than anything, you hated the sameness of it all, the way this town never changed, never grew. How every face that passed through the diner was one you recognised, and worse, how they all recognised you.

You were twenty-something, with nothing to show for it except a minimum-wage job and a slowly decaying sense of purpose. Your apartment was a shoebox with paper-thin walls and a view of a brick wall. Every night, like clockwork, the baby next door shrieked, the couple upstairs screamed and stomped, and the couple across the hall fucked like they were being paid for it. You’d eat something microwaved and vaguely beige, drink cold coffee you forgot you poured, and zone out to reality TV you weren’t really watching. Housewives screamed through muffled speakers while your brain quietly rotted.

Everyone else’s lives were in motion—marriages, babies, master’s degrees, weekend getaways with friends and Instagram sunsets. Yours was stuck on pause, the buffer wheel spinning endlessly. You kept saying yes when Sal asked you to cover a double, because what else did you have to do? You had no plans. No passions. No clue what you even wanted.

You had tried. God, you had tried. College ended in a quiet breakdown and a withdrawal form. Relationships fizzled before they even warmed. Nothing stuck. You felt like you were wading through a fog that everyone else seemed immune to, like they all had a compass pointing to some clear, shining future, and you were just circling in the dark.

If anything still lit you up, it was music.

It was the only thing that made you feel. You were always listening, earbuds in as soon as you left work, blasting bass-heavy playlists on your way home, tapping your fingers to invisible rhythms behind the counter. You hummed under your breath while restocking napkin holders and scrubbing dishes to the beat of crashing drums. Music drowned out the ache, the boredom, of everything you didn’t want to think about. It was the closest you got to peace.

And your salvation came in the form of one band: The Howling Commandos.

They were everything you weren’t—loud, chaotic, unapologetic. All raw vocals and snarling guitars, like rebellion captured in sound. You clung to their music like a lifeline. Their songs made you feel invincible, if only for three minutes and forty-two seconds at a time. You stalked their socials like a religion, hoping they'd announce a show in your town. Underground gigs, secret venues, cryptic posts…the mystery only made you want them more.

And they were hot. Unbelievably so. You didn’t even know what they looked like. They performed in ski masks, their identities always hidden, but that just added to the appeal. They were anonymous, untouchable. A fantasy you could project anything onto. Big, muscled silhouettes thrashing under stage lights, voices full of rage and sorrow. 

And the Winter Soldier, the drummer—he was your favourite delusion of all.

He was the biggest, a towering shadow behind the drum kit, all brute force and brooding stillness. Maybe it was just the size of him that drove you wild, the thick bands of muscle in his arms, the way his thighs flexed as he worked the bass pedal. His hands were massive, wrapped tight around his drumsticks like they could break bones just by holding on too hard. You’d close your eyes when one of their songs hit its peak, feel the rhythm pounding in your chest, and imagine those hands wrapped around your waist. Pressing down your hips. Spreading your thighs. Keeping you still while he—

The shrill clang of the service bell sliced through your fantasy.

“Oi, girl!” Sal’s voice barked from the kitchen, all gravel and phlegm. “Plates for table three! Move it!”

You blinked hard, swallowing the heat that had risen to your cheeks. “Sorry, Sal,” you muttered, forcing your legs to move, dragging yourself away from the milkshake machine with the weight of a thousand unmet fantasies.

Because the truth was... yeah, you were obsessed.

Not just a fangirl. Not just a casual listener with a couple of favourite tracks. You were consumed by the Winter Soldier. The mystery, the sound, the brutal power behind the drum kit. You had no musical talent yourself, no rhythm in your bones, no dreams of making it big. But still, music was your only lifeline. And him? He was the rope you clung to when it felt like you might finally let go.

So, you found your own way to contribute. Your own warped form of expression. Your own art.

Love letters.

It had started innocently enough. Just a few pages of breathless admiration, scrawled out after long shifts while your brain buzzed from caffeine and exhaustion. You confessed your devotion to the band, to the music, to him. You wrote about how their songs made the world feel bearable. You poured out thoughts like they were diary entries, lyrics from a girl whose life was anything but lyrical. You didn’t expect a reply, you weren’t stupid. You imagined he probably received plenty of letters from fans. But the act of writing? It helped, it made the loneliness less loud.

But the longer you went without hearing back, the longer you worked the closing shift in a sweatbox diner and watched your life go nowhere, the more unhinged the letters became.

Passion turned to desire. Pages and pages of filthy, desperate confessions. You wrote about how you wanted him to bend you over your shitty couch, how you’d beg if he made you. You described exactly how his hands would feel gripping your hair, how his voice would sound in your ear as he pushed into you. You stopped holding back. The words poured out of you like something exorcised.

And then came the photos.

You’d found an old thrift-store polaroid camera, the kind that spat out little grainy prints with bad lighting. On your braver days—the lonely, horny, bored out of your fucking mind days—you’d strip down in your bedroom, the blinds barely tilted shut. You never showed your face. That wouldn’t be on brand, you gave him anonymity right back.

Your body became the message. Lace underwear clinging to your hips, the curved lines of your thighs spread wide. Some days you kept it tasteful, just the bare suggestion of skin. Other times, when the ache got too strong and the fantasy too vivid, you’d pose with your fingers between your legs, soaked and aching, back arched.

You’d kiss the pages with bright red lipstick, spray your favourite perfume, and seal them tight in mismatched envelopes.

You called them Letters of Devotion.

And maybe, deep down, beneath the layers of lust and delusion, you still hoped he’d reply. That he’d see your letters—your alias, your handwriting, your stories—and feel something. Anything.

Maybe you were a little crazy.

Or maybe it was the only thing keeping you sane.

—

It was late.

The kind of late where the world outside the diner windows had gone completely black, where the parking lot was empty save for a few tired trucks and one lone streetlamp flickering. Your feet ached in your shoes, cheap sneakers with soles worn thin from double shifts and the way you dragged yourself around this place like a ghost. You’d been on your feet for nearly eleven hours, fueled by lukewarm coffee and pure spite. Even the radio had given up playing its same old loops and was spitting static.

The bell above the door jingled, and you glanced up from the counter, expecting maybe the regular who came in late for grilled cheese and three cups of black coffee. But instead, four men walked in.

You blinked. Then blinked again.

They didn’t look like locals. Not the usual crowd of truckers or farmers passing through. No, these guys were something else. All broad shoulders and heavy steps, tattoos trailing up their forearms and necks, worn boots and dark jackets dusted with road dirt. One of them had a scar splitting through his eyebrow. Another had arms so thick he barely fit into the booth. 

Your gaze snagged on one in particular.

He slid into the booth facing you, his leather jacket creaking as he settled in, and you swore the breath stalled in your lungs for a beat too long. He was massive. Broad through the chest and shoulders, thighs spread wide like he didn’t know how to sit small. His jaw was covered in dark stubble, his mouth pulled into a neutral line—neither a frown nor a smile. Serious. Watchful. His hair was dark and thick, ruffled like he had dragged his hand through it a few too many times. 

You forced yourself to move, grabbing your notepad and approaching with a practised smile that felt barely glued to your face.

“Welcome to Sal’s,” you said, as cheerily as you could force. “Kitchen’s closing soon, so if you want something hot, order now.”

One of them, the one with the scar, grinned and cracked a joke about ‘always liking it hot’, but you barely registered it. You were still stealing glances at him. He didn’t say anything, just looked up at you with those cool eyes, and nodded toward the menu. 

“Burger and fries. Black coffee.”

“Sure thing,” you managed. You scribbled it down, turned before they could see the way your cheeks flushed.

Behind the counter, you leaned against the milkshake machine, heart still thudding, mind absolutely not on the order. You watched them from the corner of your eye. They spoke in low voices, murmuring to each other, intense and focused

And all you could think about was him.

You didn’t know why. Maybe it was the size of him, the stoic vibe, the fact that his shape reminded you of The Winter Soldier. Maybe it was the way he didn’t talk unless he needed to, the way he moved like his body was too powerful to be casual. Or maybe you were just so sleep-deprived that your brain was automatically generating pornographic content to keep itself entertained. You could imagine him behind the drum kit, imagine his face behind the ski mask. Maybe you would hold onto this memory, think of his stormy blue eyes when your core was hot and wet, fingers already scrabbling for your polaroid, ready for another Letter of Devotion as you came and came again at your own hand—

Your eyes drifted back to the booth. 

You imagined what it would feel like to be pressed against that chest, what it would sound like if he whispered in your ear with that voice. What it would feel like to have his hand sliding up your thigh beneath your diner uniform. You imagined him fisting your hair, guiding your head as he fucked your mouth slow and deep, until the cheap linoleum beneath your knees squeaked—

You were so deep in the fantasy that when you blinked, he was looking at you.

Direct. Curious. Like he knew.

Your heart skipped. You jerked your gaze away so fast you nearly knocked over the salt shaker. You busied yourself behind the counter, wiping an already clean surface, trying not to combust.

—

Eventually, the guys finished eating. Paid in cash, left a decent tip. One of them winked at you on the way out. He just gave you one last lingering glance as the bell over the door jingled again, then disappeared into the night.

You exhaled, a little dazed. Tried not to think about the heat still curling in your stomach.

And then you noticed it.

In the booth, the one they’d just vacated, sat a black backpack. Left behind, half-tucked beneath the table like someone forgot it in a rush.

You looked out the window. Their taillights were already gone.

Somehow…it felt like a sign. 

You rounded the counter on instinct, hands moving on autopilot as you stacked plates and wiped down the booth, the backpack heavy in your peripheral vision. You slipped into the kitchen, scraping leftovers into one of the giant bins, trying to look busy while Sal shouted down the phone near the walk-in freezer. Something about plumbing. Something about the hot water. You weren’t really listening. Not with your thoughts spinning like a carousel.

Your fingers twitched with anticipation.

Had he left it behind on purpose?

Maybe it was nothing, an honest mistake. Just a man in a hurry, too focused on the road ahead to notice what he’d forgotten. Or maybe, just maybe, he had been distracted. By you. Had you gotten into his head the same way he’d buried himself in yours? Had he been sneaking glances the way you had? Imagining things?

God, the possibilities curled hot between your legs.

You were elbow-deep in soapy water when Sal came stomping back in, muttering curses. 

“Dahla’s moanin’ that the hot water ain’t workin’,” he barked, grabbing his keys off the hook. “I gotta run. You good to lock up?”

You nodded, barely looking up. “No problem.”

He grunted in the barest minimum of thanks and was gone within the minute. You waited, counting the seconds until the crunch of his boots on gravel faded, until the cough of his truck engine roared and peeled off down the road.

You all but bolted to the front of the diner, heart hammering in your throat. You hadn’t even locked the front door. The open sign still glowed in the window like a forgotten thought. You didn’t care. Your hands were still damp from the sink as you reached for the bag, tugging it up onto the counter with a soft thud.

It sat there, plain and unassuming. Black canvas, one shoulder strap fraying. Just a backpack.

You stared for a second.

You weren’t sure what you expected. A note? An ID with a name you could finally put to that face? A number scrawled on a napkin meant only for you?

Your lip caught between your teeth as you slowly tugged the zipper down.

The contents were disappointing at first. A couple of old t-shirts, faded and smelling faintly of smoke and sweat. Crumpled food wrappers. A phone charger. Some receipts. Nothing extraordinary. Nothing romantic. Your heart dipped—

Then froze.

Nestled at the bottom, slightly bent at the corners, was a thick bundle of envelopes. Cream-colored. Handwritten. Lightly smudged ink. It wouldn’t have been that strange if it weren’t for the fact that you recognised them. 

It was the smell of the perfumed paper that hit you immediately. You knew that smell. The faint trail of your favourite perfume, sweet and smoky. The red lipstick stain pressed into the corner, your shade. That was your kiss. Your handwriting.

Your fingers moved with nervous urgency, fumbling as you grabbed the stack and rifled through it.

Your letters.

At least a dozen of them. All opened. 

You seized one at random, and your hand trembled as you pulled the page free. A small clatter followed as a polaroid slipped loose and hit the countertop face-up.

You felt the heat rush to your face like a punch.

You. 

It was you. 

One of the more explicit ones. Black lace panties, expensive, a splurge from when you were still clinging to the idea of romance. Your thighs spread wide. Your hand, barely hidden behind delicate fabric, buried between your folds, caught mid-motion. Your other hand was out of frame, probably holding the camera. You remembered that night vividly. Remembered how worked up you'd been, how starved. You hadn’t just been horny, you’d been aching, lonely.

Your pulse roared in your ears as you slowly unfolded the letter, the edges soft from wear. Like it had been regularly reread. Your cursive spilt across the page, desperate and messy. A confession. A fantasy—

I had a dream about you last night.

Or maybe it wasn’t a dream. Maybe it was a memory from some other life. One where you knew me, touched me, ruined me like you were meant to.

You bent me over the arm of my couch. One hand flat on my back, keeping me down, keeping me still. The other between my legs. You didn’t tease. Didn’t waste time. You slid your fingers through my pussy and hummed like you liked what you felt. Then you pressed two fingers inside me, slow at first, then rougher, curling them just right until my legs shook and I moaned like I’d break apart.

You didn’t stop. Not when I came. Not even when I begged. You made me take it, over and over, until I was soaked and shaking, face pressed to the cushion, drooling into the fabric while you watched. While you owned me.

And only then did you unzip your jeans.

You didn’t say anything. Just dragged the tip of your cock through the mess you’d made of me and pushed in, inch by inch, nice and slow. I remember crying out, legs spreading wider like my body already knew what to do, like it wanted to be ruined by you. You fucked me deep. Kept me bent over. Kept that hand wrapped around my throat when I tried to lift my head.

And when I finally looked back at you, barely able to keep my eyes open, you grabbed my jaw and made me say it.

‘Tell me who you belong to.’

And I did. Over and over. 

I woke up soaked through my sheets, hand still between my thighs, still aching. I’ve been thinking about it all day. I can’t stop imagining this. Wanting this. Needing it—

“Why are you going through my stuff?” A deep, gravelly voice jolted you back to reality. The letter slipped from your fingers and fluttered back onto the counter

You hadn’t heard the bell.

Hadn’t heard the door open.

Hadn’t realised the man you’d spent the last hour wet and restless for was standing just a few feet away. Arms crossed over his broad chest, head tilted, expression somewhere between amused and dangerous.

You pressed a hand to your chest, trying to breathe through the thick, electric panic that was blooming behind your ribs.

“I—” 

You fumbled for words, your voice catching and unravelling as heat rushed up your neck. “You left it behind. I thought maybe I could find ID or a name or—I wasn’t trying to—”

Your voice faded as he took a single step forward. Just one. He was already towering above you. You stood frozen behind the counter, gripping the edge. You weren’t sure if you wanted to run or drop to your knees.

And then, against all your better judgment, the words tumbled out.

“Why do you—how do you have these?! I didn’t write them for you, I wrote them for—”

You cut yourself off. Because you were watching it happen in real time, the slow curl of understanding at the edge of his mouth, the glint of something unholy blooming in those stormy eyes. A smile pulled at his lips, knowing and wicked.

Your voice dropped to a whisper, half-horrified, half-aroused. “Unless… unless you’re him. The Winter Soldier—”

He stepped closer, until the edge of the counter was the only thing between you and the solid heat of his body. His gaze dragged down your face, your throat, like he was memorising you.

Then he leaned in, just slightly, and spoke, low and lethal.

“I read every single one.”

Your entire body flushed hot.

Every. Single. One.

Your lips parted, but no sound came out, just the soft stutter of your breath as your brain struggled to catch up. You were painfully aware of your appearance. The grease-slicked apron, your hair pulled back in a lazy bun, the sweat still drying at your temples from a long shift. You were supposed to be invisible here. 

But now he was here. Standing over you. Real. Breathing the same air. And he’d read it. All of it. All the filthy, aching, needy things you’d never even said out loud.

“You…” you rasped. “You read them?”

He tilted his head, eyes gleaming. “You think I just collect random strangers’ letters full of desperate, pretty little fantasies?”

His voice was quieter now, just above a whisper. It curled around your throat like a hand.

“I started reading the first one on tour,” he went on. “Thought it’d be funny, another obsessed fan. But then I kept reading…kept waiting for more to arrive.” His eyes dropped to your lips. “You don’t hold back, sweetheart. Not even a little.”

You swallowed thickly. “I didn’t think—I never thought anyone would actually—”

“—read it?” he finished, one brow raising. “Come on. You write shit like that and don’t expect it to crawl into someone’s brain? The way you describe it, how you want it… fuck.” He leaned closer, his mouth nearly brushing your ear. “You got no idea what you’ve been doing to me. You’re like some kinda genius, some kinda fuckin’ succubus. Do you know how many songs I’ve tried to write about you, about those fuckin’ photos?”

Your knees went weak, pulse thudding behind your ribs like a warning bell.

“Which one was your favourite?” you asked before you could stop yourself, breathless and reckless. 

His grin returned, dark, indulgent. “The one where I make you cum over and over again,” he murmured. “And you beg for it, like a good girl. And you beg until you're so fucked out you can’t even speak, just moan and take every last inch of me.”

Your breath hitched.

He studied your face, then slowly, very slowly, reached out and picked up the polaroid you’d dropped. He held it between two fingers, glancing down at it with a hum of approval.

“You still have these panties?” he asked casually, like he was asking for a drink recommendation.

You blinked. “What?”

He looked up from the photo, and his expression turned serious in a way that made your stomach flip.

“What’s your address, sweetheart?” He asked.

You stared at him. Speechless.

“I’ll come by after you close up,” he added, voice low, fingers tapping on the counter. “You let me in and I’ll do everything you wrote about, hell, I’m ready to beg for it just lookin’ at you.”

—

You weren’t sure how you made it home without crashing your car.

Your hands shook the whole drive, knuckles white around the wheel, still sticky from the milkshake syrup you’d forgotten to wash off. The radio played something mindless, but you couldn’t hear it over the sound of your own heartbeat thudding behind your ribs like a fist.

You didn’t even turn the lights on when you burst through your apartment door. Just kicked it shut behind you, peeled off your apron, and headed straight for the shower. The water was too hot, scalding your skin, but you welcomed it. You scrubbed with your nicest soap, dragging the loofah hard over your flesh. Like you could wash off the diner grease, the lingering smell of cheap coffee. 

You towelled off in a hurry, slipping on lotion while your skin was still damp.

The panties were easy, the black lace ones from the photo. No bra. Just a thin cotton tank top, the kind that clung to every curve.

You paced your apartment like a storm was coming.

Checked your reflection.

Then checked it again.

Clean sheets. Dim light. The curtain pulled just enough. You caught yourself reaching to tidy the bookshelf, then stopped. What the fuck were you doing?

He didn’t care if your books were alphabetised. He was going to ruin you.

The knock came just after midnight.

You froze.

Your feet carried you to the door before your mind could catch up. You stared through the peephole, breath caught.

Still in that worn leather jacket, shoulders broad enough to fill the frame. His eyes were darker in the hallway light, but they still found the peephole like he knew you were watching.

Your fingers curled around the doorknob and tugged it open. 

He looked at you, eyes dragging down your bare legs, the hem of your tank top, the curve of your breasts beneath it. His jaw tensed like he was trying not to say something filthy right there in the hallway.

“You wore them,” he said at last, voice rough.

You swallowed. “You said you liked them.”

He stepped inside without another word, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. You stood barefoot on the rug, heart hammering in your chest as you looked up at him, your fingers twitching at your sides.

You parted your lips to speak, to say something, but you never got the chance.

Because he was on you in a second.

He crossed the room in two steps, grabbed you by the waist, and lifted you clean off the ground. You gasped, legs instinctively wrapping around his hips as he shoved you against the wall. His mouth crashed down on yours, tongue sliding past your lips. 

You melted into him instantly, fingers curling into the collar of his jacket, back arching to press yourself closer. When he finally pulled back, you were panting, dazed, lips wet and parted.

He carried you to the bedroom without asking and dropped you onto the bed, stepping back just enough to shrug off his jacket.

You whimpered. You didn’t mean to. It slipped out, needy and desperate, before you could stop it.

“Take off your shirt.”

Your hands trembled as you obeyed. You pulled the tank top over your head, exposing your bare chest to the warm lamplight. He watched you like a man starved, his eyes dragging slowly from your flushed face down to the curve of your breasts. You could feel the heat pooling between your thighs already, the lace of your panties damp and sticking to you.

He stripped his own shirt next.  “Lie down.”

You sank into the sheets, heart pounding, legs already falling open.

He crawled over you, his face right above yours. His fingers brushed your cheek, your jaw, then slid down to wrap gently around your throat.

“You want this, sweetheart?” he murmured. 

You whimpered again, nodding, thighs instinctively rubbing together.

“Words,” he growled. “Say it.”

“Yes,” you breathed. “Please, I want this.”

He smirked, and then he dropped his mouth to your chest, biting softly at your nipple, soothing the sting with his tongue before moving lower. He kissed your ribs, your stomach, licking and dragging his teeth along every inch of skin until he reached your panties.

He hooked a finger under the waistband, met your gaze, and then ripped them off.

“Still my favourite pair,” he muttered, tossing the ruined lace aside. 

And then his mouth was on you.

Tongue hot, thorough, relentless, he licked into you like a man on a mission. His hands gripped your thighs hard, spreading you wide, keeping you in place as you writhed beneath him. You sobbed, fingers digging into the sheets, your hips lifting off the mattress before his hand came down hard and held you still.

Your first orgasm crashed into you fast, so fast it stole your breath, tore the sound from your throat. You choked on it, body arching, tears prickling at your lashes.

But he didn’t stop.

Not even when you whimpered, not even when you trembled.

“I said over and over again,” he reminded you, dragging his tongue up your slit with obscene precision. “Beg for the next one.”

“Please—fuck, please—” you sobbed.

“That’s better, good girl.” The praise scraped low from his throat, barely audible over the wet sounds of his mouth on your pussy.

You were already shaking, thighs trembling against his shoulders, your hands fisted in the sheets. But he didn’t slow, didn’t let up. His tongue worked you ruthlessly, slow when you needed fast, fast when you couldn’t take it. He read your body like a song he’d memorised, like he was playing you just to see how many ways he could make you fall apart.

He licked deep, flat and hard, then flicked his tongue tight against your clit until your hips jerked. Every time you gasped or moaned or bucked against his mouth, he made a low, satisfied sound in the back of his throat.

“You taste so fuckin’ good,” he muttered between strokes, his voice ragged.

You choked on a moan, your back arching off the mattress, but his hands clamped down and held you there.

“I can feel it,” he said, breath hot against you. “You’re close again, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” you sobbed. “Fuck—please—”

“Not yet.”

He pulled back just enough to slide two fingers into you, thick and unforgiving. Your whole body snapped. He hooked them expertly, rubbing against that perfect spot deep inside, his mouth still latched to your clit, and your orgasm hit so violently you couldn’t even speak. Your cry caught in your throat, your thighs shook uncontrollably, and your eyes rolled back as white-hot pleasure splintered through you.

You collapsed against the bed, panting, twitching, but he didn’t stop. He didn’t even pause.

He licked through the aftershocks, fingers still curling inside you like he was searching for more.

“Please—please, I can’t—”

“Yes, you can,” he growled. “You said you wanted this. Said you wanted me to ruin you. That I could fuck you until you couldn’t speak.”

“I did—I do—fuck—I do!”

“Then take it.”

He leant back on his knees just enough to watch what he was doing, his fingers fucking in and out of you, soaked to the knuckle. Your juices dripped down the insides of your thighs, your pussy glistening in the warm light, flushed and swollen. He looked wrecked watching you, his cock straining hard against his pants.

“You don’t even know what you’re doing to me,” he muttered, sliding his fingers out with a slow, slick pull that made you whimper. “Look at this fucking mess. You’re dripping, sweetheart.”

Your breath hitched, a sob tearing loose from your throat.

“I want it,” you gasped. “I want you. Please. I need you inside me—please—”

He moved fast.

One hand on his belt, jerking the buckle loose. The clink of metal echoed through the room, followed by the sound of fabric hitting the floor.

He stood at the edge of the bed, fully naked now. His cock was thick and flushed, already leaking at the tip, the veins along the shaft standing out as he wrapped his fist around it and stroked once with a tight grunt.

You couldn’t look away.

“I’ve been hard since the diner,” he said hoarsely, eyes locked on your wrecked body sprawled across the sheets. “Sat in the truck reading that last letter again, just thinking about how wet you’d be for me. How sweet you’d sound when you begged. How I’m gonna write that fuckin’ song about you, how I’ll write a whole fuckin’ album about you—”

You mewled again, tears slipping down your cheeks now, your thighs twitching open wider on instinct. 

“Please,” you whispered, voice shaking. “I’ll say it. I’ll say anything. Just give it to me.”

He climbed over you slowly, bracing himself on his elbows as he lined up at your entrance.

“Yeah,” he murmured, voice dark with hunger. “You’re gonna take every inch.”

And then he pushed in.

You cried out as the head of his cock stretched you open. Your back arched off the bed, fingers scrambling at the sheets, your body twitching from overstimulation. Your pussy clenched tight around him on instinct.

“Shhh,” He murmured, his voice ragged as he held himself still. “You can take it. I know you can.”

He slid in another inch, slow, dragging, splitting you open around him.

You keened, helpless. The stretch burned, but the pressure—the way he filled you so deeply, so perfectly—made your toes curl. Your walls clamped down around him, greedy, desperate, already milking him without meaning to.

“Fuck,” he hissed through his teeth, head dropping to your shoulder. “You’re tight. So fuckin’ tight, sweetheart.”

Your hands flew to his back, clawing at his skin, dragging down his spine. He was heavy and solid, his cock thick and pulsing as he fed you more inch by inch.

“Please,” you gasped, legs trembling on either side of his hips. “Please, fuck me—just do it—”

He let out a rough groan.

And then he sank the rest of the way in, bottoming out with a hard, final thrust that knocked the air from your lungs.

Your body spasmed beneath his as he filled you to the hilt. 

He moaned above you, one arm sliding under your back, pulling you tighter against him, locking your bodies together.

“You feel that?” he whispered, voice shaking. “How perfect you take me?”

You nodded frantically, tears slipping free, your hips rolling up to meet him before you even realised.

And then he started to move. Each thrust dragged the full length of him through your soaked pussy, grinding against that perfect spot inside you with unrelenting precision. You cried, legs wrapping tighter around his waist, trying to keep him as deep as possible.

“You’re already squeezing me,” he groaned, fucking into you harder now. “Already so fucked out, sweetheart. Look at you.”

You couldn’t. Your eyes were glassy, lips parted, hands slipping uselessly across his slick back as he took you. His pace built, thrusts snapping forward faster, harder, making the headboard bang softly against the wall. 

“Beg for it again,” he panted against your throat, teeth grazing your skin. “Let me hear you say it.”

“Fuck—please—don’t stop—need it—need you—”

“That’s it.”

He shifted, changing the angle, sliding one hand beneath your ass and lifting you to meet his thrusts. The new position had you screaming, your body jerking, clenching tight as your orgasm slammed into you so hard it felt like falling. You convulsed around him, sobbing, your nails digging into his shoulders, your whole body begging without words.

But he didn’t stop.

He fucked you through it, through your crying, through the way your body trembled and tried to curl in on itself. He held you open, held you down, every thrust bruising and perfect.

Your vision blurred. Your voice broke.

And still he kept going.

“You said you’d let me,” he growled. “Said I could fuck you until you couldn’t think straight.”

“You can,” you cried. “Please—just don’t stop—please—”

His mouth crashed down on yours, swallowing your scream as he finally lost his rhythm, his thrusts turning sloppy, urgent, his cock twitching inside you.

And then he came.

Hot and relentless, spilling inside you with a groan so wrecked it made you see god. He buried himself, grinding in as he filled you, a string of curses a rough whisper in your ear. 

You didn’t even realise you were crying again until he brushed the tears from your cheek.

“Atta girl,” he murmured, kissing the corner of your mouth. “You took it all. Just like I knew you would.”

You didn’t know how long you lay there, trembling and spent, your body still flushed and twitching in the aftermath. You couldn’t move. Could barely think. You were splayed across the mattress, your skin slick with sweat, your thighs sticky and sore, your pussy still aching from the stretch of him.

A large hand brushed damp strands of hair away from your forehead, gentle fingers stroking through your hair with surprising care. “There she is,” he murmured.

You blinked up at him, bleary-eyed, lips parted but no words came. You were too fucked out to string together a thought, let alone a sentence. Your body was heavy, bones turned to syrup, and you felt the flutter of tears threaten again.

He leant over you, his skin warm where it pressed against yours, and kissed the side of your temple. A lingering kiss, soft and steady. One that said, I’m not in a hurry.

“You did so well,” he murmured against your skin.

You exhaled shakily, eyes fluttering closed. “You know, I never even asked your name.” Your voice was hoarse, practically gravel from all the screaming and moaning.

You felt him smirk softly. “It’s James, but all my friends call me Bucky.”

“Bucky…” you sighed, almost dreamily. “Suits you.”

Silence fell over both of you as you nuzzled his shoulder, dazed.

He stayed close, his hand never leaving your body, sliding down your arm, over your hip, then back up again. A slow, idle rhythm that kept you tethered to reality.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I read every word you wrote.” He finally whispered, enough to jolt you back to full consciousness. 

Your breath caught, eyes opening, but he kept going.

“I tried to write back, wanted to...” His thumb swept over your cheekbone. “I’m just no good with words, not in the way you are. Different from writing songs, I don’t know why. Was scared I’d fuck it up somehow, scare you off.”

He watched your face, his tone softening even more.

“I think I’ve spent this last year looking for you, whether I realised it or not. Like I knew I’d find you.”

Your chest ached. Your lips moved, trying to speak, but you only managed a faint, broken sound, a gasp, a sob, maybe a laugh. You weren’t sure. You were too far gone, too full of him, too unravelled.

“And now that I’ve found you?” he said, voice dropping low. “I’m not letting you go.”

With a shaking hand, you brushed a few fingers across his forehead, down his temple to the stubble of his jaw. His breath caught at the motion. “Yeah? You’ll take me away from this place? Make me happy like in my letters?”

A huff of laughter escaped his nose. “If that’s what you want, sweetheart.”

---

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[obsessivevoidkitten]

The Unwilling Villain (Request)

3 Male Villain Yanderes x Gender Neutral Reader CW: Noncon, kidnapping, body control, not really mind control because the mind is free, foursome, oral sex, oral knotting, knotting, non-human genitalia, bullying, crying, dacryphilia, slightly sadistic yandere, lizard man yandere, super powers, aftercare, overstimulation, betrayal, general yandere behavior Word Count: 1.7k Summary: You worked hard for years to become a superhero. You are forced into villainy instead. (I worked super hard on this, combining three requests, and hope you love it! Please reblog if you did <3)

You were enrolled in an esteemed superhero program. A college that trained those with superhuman abilities to use their talents for the good of humanity.

Your power was that you could heal almost instantly from injuries that would easily kill most people instantly. You could also heal others, though just a bit slower and less efficiently than you could heal yourself.

Graduation was getting closer, at this point of your education students formed small teams of three and allowed to do low-level missions unsupervised. And even more dangerous stuff so long as an instructor was present.

You had made friends with a couple of MMORPG lovers like yourself and your powers aligned with a perfectly balanced team of healer, tank, and DPS. And those are the exact hero aliases you went by too! Your group name was Level Up!

Your hero name was obviously Healer. Your outfit went with your ideal of a video game healer.

The buff lizard man, tall and muscular, powerful but slow, with cyan scales that were hard as diamonds was Tank. His outfit was simple, ripped pants and a barbarian’s vest that looked straight out of a typical fantasy video game. He also wielded a massive ax.

The abilities of DPS included the ability to absorb certain types of energy and produce explosive bolts of fire and lightning.

DPS was a man with long, straight, red hair with a black stripe running through it, it accentuated his pale skin and black lips and nails really well. The hero suit he dawned was the most elaborate out of the three of you.

It was that of a steampunk wizard. It was comprised of a royal purple and black top hat, a monocle, black metal vambraces, a royal purple Victorian style high collar tailcoat, a black high waist pleated trousers that had black leather straps going down the sides, a black waistcoat, a black leather satchel filled with emergency batteries, a silver gear with a clock inside covered laid over his jabot, a purple belt with a silver gear for a buckle, and a black metal cane. The cane not only focused his power but was also his main battery.

The abilities you had perfectly complemented one another, tactically your grouping was genius. And the low level criminals you were allowed to hone your skills on were no match for the three of you.

And while you all got along pretty well, you always got an odd feeling from the two of them. Sometimes they seemed a bit… cruel. And the jokes and pranks they pulled on you felt a bit too mean spirited. But you always brushed the red flags aside, they didn’t mean anything by it, it was just how they showed their friendship!

They could also be a bit… overzealous… when detaining criminals. Using just a bit more force than strictly necessary to get the job done. You had assumed they were just really dedicated to justice and despised criminal activity.

Soon after graduating you learned the truth.

Tank and DPS had informed you of a mission, they said that the three of you had been commissioned to take down a pretty strong villain and were the closest to the area. Apparently he was operating out of an abandoned warehouse and readying a small force of goons for an assault on the city!

It was a ruse. You wished you had taken the time to verify that The Hero Authority had actually dispatched your team, but who does that when there is a super villain to stop?

You stepped into the warehouse, the old door creaked open, dust greeted your nostrils and your eyes had to adjust to the pale sunlight coming in through broken windows. You took a few cautious steps forward and promptly lost all control of your body.

“What’s going on!? Guys be careful! I think there’s some type of body controlling villain here!”

They stepped in front of you, turning to you as they both smirked. It was particularly chilling on Tank’s lizard-like face. A shrouded figure stepped from the shadows, he was clad in leather armor and had a dagger on each side of his belt, he pulled his hood and face mask back revealing a handsome black man underneath. He joined the other two before introducing himself.

“Hello Healer, I am Rogue. And you’re the newest member of our super villain group!”

Apparently Tank and DPS had been working with Rogue from the very beginning. He could hijack people’s bodies and make them into unwilling pawns. He could make them obey the commands of others too if he wanted. Though he could only have a couple long term and several short term puppets at a time.

You were on the permanent list.

He could see inside your mind and direct your actions, but he couldn’t make you enjoy it or control your speech.

It was horrible. Your worst nightmare. Not only were you unable to fulfill your dream of being a hero and saving people, a goal you had worked your whole life towards attaining, but you were forced to be a villain. Yeah you didn’t directly hurt anyone, but your unique skills were used to heal your “team” in battles against heroes and support their villainous ambitions.

The power you had was a key part of their strategies. With Tank charging in, you healing him from the rare wounds he would get, DPS staying back and launching ranged attacks, and Rogue controlling heroes or striking from the shadows they couldn’t be beaten.

Tank and DPS had joined the college you had studied at with the specific intent of finding a good support power for their ranks. When they found you they knew they had hid the jackpot. They had anticipated a strength bolstering hero or maybe someone who could put a force field around them, but your powers were stronger than that.

They couldn’t corrupt you but that was no matter with Rogue’s powers. They got to know you, became your friends, and then led you right to Rogue.

They were also all in a relationship with one another. A closed three-way relationship. But that became an unwilling four-way when they each gradually fell in love with you and just had to include you in their romance and sexual activities.

After all, wouldn’t it be cruel to make you a part of their villainy and not even take care of your sexual and romantic needs?

You were just so sweet and pure, they couldn’t keep their hands off of you. From being sandwiched between two of them while being fucked from both ends at once or sandwiched between them while being cuddled on the couch, you were never left alone.

Even when a couple were busy there was always at least one messing with you.

They loved teasing you and making you cry, going just a bit too far and sending you into a fit, and then comforting you and forcing you to snug up against one of them. Rogue was probably the meanest of the three when he was in a mood to be.

He’d hit you where it hurt.

“Wow, who knew you were so villainous? You really came in handy beating those heroes earlier!”

He’d sneer, knowing full well you didn’t do it willingly.

While the other two weren’t above mocking you, they tended to be a bit more physical with their torment. Tank enjoyed watching you struggle to take his cock in your mouth, especially when his slimy cock swelled with a knot after gushing cum down your throat. And a favorite of DPS was to rail you harder than you could handle and then go several rounds in you when you were all overstimulated.

It wasn’t uncommon for all of them to fuck you at once either. Tank would take your mouth multiple times, his musky prehensile cock snaking its way down your throat, your eyes watering as he gripped your head in his powerful hands, smirking down at you as he humped away into your adorable face until he knotted your mouth and filled you up with his musky seed.

All the while DPS smacked your ass and was slamming his length into you as roughly as he could, syncing his thrusts with Tank’s, effectively spit-roasting you. He’d grip your hips roughly and tell you how good and tight you were, tell you how he enjoyed “making love” to you.

And once his throbbing cock deposited his load deep inside you, the villain would slip out and let Rogue take his place with his cum serving as great lube for the other villain. Rogue would tell you how you were the best cumdump they could have. Tell you how you were a slut for just letting them do such things to you. Call you a whore. Tell you how weak willed you must be to be so easily controlled by him for so long. Tell you that you must really like it. That would always make you cry and sob if you weren’t already from choking on Tank’s prick.

When he finished DPS would be ready for another round.

On and on it would go, they’d take turns seemingly without end. Sometimes when DPS got too excited he’d lose control and his fingers would singe his fingerprints into your skin before they immediately healed. At some point your mind would break and you’d go limp and barely be aware of what was taking place, your body occasionally shivering in climaxes and moaning around Tank’s dick with you barely being conscious of it.

At that point they’d be abnormally sweet to their exhausted “partner.” They’d finish up, get you nice and clean, then take turns cuddling you on their laps.

Tank would lick you affectionately with his insanely long tongue like he was a reptilian puppy and DPS would bury his face into your neck and kiss and bite you gently.

Even Rogue would soften his demeanor and sprinkle you with little kisses while holding you close, being completely sincere when he said he loved you and thought you were really sweet, and promising to stop controlling you once you were broken in and willing.

[sweeneydino]

Froggies pt.1

Napoleon Bonafrog!

Napoleon is the youngest of the Main Four frogs… and the one that gets in the most trouble.

Raised from an egg, he's a loyal and hardworking frog who strives to make his family proud even if it comes at the cost of his social life. Yet it seems moving to New York for their job has made him quite restless, and now he has a new… turtle friend?

Lord help me /j why do i do this to myself

Believe it or not, he’s not too happy of the situation they’re in, and would much rather be taking care of the horses(or yokai “horse-like creatures”?). Sure, he has a whole city to explore, but being hounded about every safety lesson under the sun just to go check out a sewer pipe gets tiring. And their job—He hates hurting people, hates lying, and definitely hates seeing his face on a wanted poster(they never get his patterns right!) Even with this, Napoleon does have quite a few questionable ideas, and its not just his food taste.

When it comes to fights, Napoleon is quite aware that he does NOT have the muscle the others frogs have, so he relies on evading and staying far away whenever he has to start battling . And after meeting mikey, hes gained the ability of using his whip like a swing.

You’ll get your outside relations later, for now return to froggies.

Napoleons relationship to Attila is a rather complex and strained one, even with his very appreciative view of him, mostly due to the expectations placed on him and the strict rules that follow. Napoleon is a pushover and quite desperate for approval because of this, and struggles alot in trying to voice his needs to him.

Doesn’t help that he pretty much sees him as his dad. His very…VERY flawed and criminal dad. Brother. Guardian…

Napoleon likes Rasputin since he’s more laxed about the rules than Attila, but if he sees him walking towards him, he usually tries to get away as quickly as possible, since it usually means he’s in trouble. Despite this, any mission that Razz is on, Napoleon will try to join specifically for the free time.

He’s not very fond of the views he shares with Attila though. Or his scary ass speed.

Finally, Napoleon thinks Genghis is the best, mostly because he doesn’t brush off any of his questions and has the time to spend with him. Genghis also does not push any of his own opinions on him, and treats him more like a teenager than a toddler.

If Napoleon were to, say, run off to hang out with an orange turtle, he can trust Genghis to not be a snitch.

That said, hes also very aware that the only reason for that is because he doesn’t see his friend as a threat. Yet.

-

I wanted to a voice claim thingy for them all but i couldn’t find the voices i thought fit with Napoleon and Genghis, with the closest being, i think, the 1987 punk frogs lol? If you have some voices in mind that youd think fit, id like to check them out uvu

[devildomwriter]

Simeon’s Journey

Simeon was introduced to us as an angel, not just any angel but an archangel; A warrior angel in charge of legions of angels.

From season one we immediately learn not everything is as it seems with Simeon. Simeon tends to bend the rules, be more relaxed, and was mentioned as having once been a Seraph, the highest rank of angel in the Celestial Realm.

In the Celestial Realm Simeon was a brother to Lucifer. He was given a rose garden by his Father and watched it diligently while having a great interest in a book of prophecy, one that foretold he’d one day lose his wings. Although this concerned Mammon, Simeon wasn’t particularly bothered.

When the war broke out, Simeon tried to cover for the brothers, and for this, he was demoted to Archangel, a busy position where his job was to defend the realm from the frontlines. Gone were the days of rest and relaxation with his family and two close remaining friends, Raphael and Michael.

To cope with the loss of the brothers, Simeon began to write about them, likely using the book of prophecy as a reference since most of his books reflected what would eventually become reality, with the main protagonist, Henry, replacing MC. These books would eventually be published but upon visiting the Devildom and discovering the brothers were so different from how he remembered he became disheartened and didn’t continue his work until Season Four of the game.

Upon coming to the Devildom in season one Simeon was guarded against Diavolo and didn’t particularly like him. He enjoyed scaring Luke, befriended Solomon, and acted as a messenger for Michael.

In season two things take a turn with Simeon. He’s more relaxed and adjusted to the Devildom and doesn’t hide his secretly stern behavior, even bringing Mammon to tears when put in charge of a play he’d write.

When everyone learned MC would likely die from their abundance of uncontrolled power, the ring of light was given up as an option because it was lost in the war. Simeon keeps quiet but immediately leaves to steal the ring from the celestial realm to save MC’s life.

These actions closely resemble Lilith’s choice which started the war with similar results.

Lilith directly altered a human's lifespan which is forbidden, by offering him stolen fruit from the Celestial Realm.

Simeon more or less altered MC’s lifespan by bringing them the one object that could keep them alive. If MC hadn’t died, Lucifer would have, Lucifer who although forgiven, was still a traitor to the realm.

The final chat of season two is Michael asking to speak with Simeon. It’s clear he’s in trouble for what he’s done.

In season three we aren’t shown anything is too different with Simeon although the brothers find it weird that he’s in the human world as it’s not an archangel's job. During his time at the cafe, Simeon meets with Raphael on multiple occasions who is checking on how he is doing as a human.

In season four Simeon comes back to the Devildom, this time as a human exchange student though this fact is only known by Solomon, Raphael, Diavolo, Barbatos, and Lucifer who keep an eye on him to make sure he is safe from other demons.

Now in the Devildom, it’s clear how powerless Simeon is. Unable to protect himself or his loved ones with an angelic blessing, everyone learns the truth. With the truth revealed and his closest friends there to support him, Simeon finally takes the steps towards accepting his new life as a human and even begins to wear his old celestial realm clothing.

But things don’t end there. Despite his newfound confidence, no more than a few weeks later he becomes sick and unsettled, even missing part of the RAD Science Fair to stay home.

While observing Simeon one day, Lucifer notices his aura has changed and when he confronts Solomon, Solomon reveals that Simeon is turning into a demon and he has been since the human world.

Moments we can see this too in the human world were Simeon’s teasing in the “Celestial Realm”, his threats to the brothers in the cafe, and his confession to Lucifer that he feared his own Father or an aspect of him.

Simeon may not understand what’s happening to him, although he knows his magic is stronger and applauds MC for noticing in chapter 47. Simeon is now forced to make another huge adjustment by becoming a demon, and it’s difficult for the people around him too—after learning Raphael was found staring into space and incorrectly answering questions, even struggling to drink Demonus, which he loves. Michael has been pestering Luke for updates on Simeon, and Luke is now concerned about his condition again.

This will only go a few different ways. Simeon becomes a demon, demon form and all, and perhaps reunites as brother with the other seven, or he’s going to fight against the change to become an angel again as even Raphael states he believes Simeon is better at his “job” than he used to be.

Depending on how Simeon copes with this change, it’s either a tragedy or a new beginning. Simeon has always been disillusioned with his job, even telling MC he believed angels couldn’t have dreams of what they wanted to do, and drunkenly sobbing to Lucifer that he’s now more of a middle management type.

Either way, for Simeon and everyone around him, it’s hardly the ending.

[suuuupernovaaa]

been thinkin’ bout you

summary: you’ve been thinking about joel, not realizing he’s been thinking about you too

warnings/tags: 18+, smut, jackson joel, HEA

MASTERLIST

Even through the flannel shirt, I can see the muscles in his back and arms as Joel lifts the solid wood over his shoulder, hauling it up the steps and inside Paulette’s house to assist her with repairs to her kitchen.

God, what do those muscles look like unwrapped? If I could just undo the buttons, one by one, and peel that shirt off of him…

A sharp elbow in my side snaps me from my fantasy, and I turn, already glaring at the woman next to me.

“You’re doing it again,” Maryanne says, a teasing grin on her face. I roll my eyes at her, but there’s no real malice behind it. She’s been my closest friend for years.

I stand up from where the two of us were sitting in the town square. “I can’t help it,” I tell her with a shrug, and she sighs as she always does when I talk endlessly about Joel. She’s a saint, letting me do it, but I’m sure she’s tired of hearing about it. “Gotta get to work. Stop by later.”

She nods and lifts her coffee to her lips, and I jog down the snow dusted street to my modest two story home. The paint is peeling and the porch is sagging, and I’m proud to call her mine.

Inside the front door is a small waiting room next to the stairs, only a few chairs and what books I could spare, plus a small bin of donated toys, and to the right of that is the town clinic. One cushioned table for a patient, a supply cabinet, and a couple plain chairs.

When the town was established as a safe haven in 2016, my parents became the town physicians. My mother had been an OBGYN before the world fell, and my father a surgeon. Together, they knew enough to keep the people Jackson relatively healthy, with what supplies were available.

I’d been 26 at the time, and thought I’d received no formal education - because it was no longer truly something available to me - I’d been receiving training from my parents from the day the clinic was established, until their deaths a year earlier. Thanks to them, I too now know enough to keep the townsfolk (relatively) healthy, with very few supplies. They come to me with aches and pains, illnesses, injuries, and the occasional birth, and I do my best not to let them down.

A steady stream of patients is in and out today, much like any other. A crying toddler with an ear infection. A construction worker with a nasty cut and a bad attitude. A mother entering her third trimester with her first child.They pay however they can, or not at all, and I’m happy to serve them.

Early afternoon, the door bell dings. I’m sitting across from the clinic and my desk, updating my patient records, and don’t spare a glance up.

“Be right with you!” I call cheerfully, but get no response. Finishing my notes on my previous patient - a sprained ankle - I stand up and tuck the file away before exiting my office.

My breath is cut from my lungs when I see Joel Miller standing there, holding his bloody hand in a dirty cloth, looking at me with tired eyes.

xxx

Joel has done his best to avoid the little white house just off the main square since he settled in Jackson, and he’s done a good job, almost a year, until now.

The cut is too deep, bleeding too much, and even he knows he can’t avoid seeing her now.

Something about the young doctor unnerves him. Her brown eyed stare is intense. Her smile is practiced and polished. He finds her looking at him too often, though she looks away if their eyes meet.

“Joel, what happened?” she asks in that steady, smooth voice of hers, pouring from her lips like honey, as she ushers him into the room where she sees her patients.

He clears his throat. “Accident on the job, hand just slipped,” he tells her.

She nods, pursing her lips, which he notices, not for the first time, are full and soft. There’s a freckle dead center on her bottom lip, and he’s imagined running his finger over it once or twice.

“Sit, please,” she drawls, and he obeys.

She works in silence as she cleans the wound, and numbs the area around the cut, which is just on his palm near his thumb.

Every time she touches him, he tenses up, and he wonders why that is. Why she makes him feel this way.

Maybe it’s because he’s noticing the little flecks of gold in her brown eyes, or the way her curls seem to be doing their best to escape the braid she’s trapped them in, or the way the knitted grey sweatshirt she’s wearing can’t conceal the figure underneath.

She’s one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen.

“I would tell you to be more careful,” she says, glancing up at him as she works to close the wound, “but I’m sure you don’t need to hear it.”

He grunts, and she smiles, her lips pulling back to reveal dimples in her cheeks. His pulse rises.

“How’d you, uh, learn all this? Weren’t you too young to be a doctor before?”

She reaches behind her for some bandages, and turns back to him with a smile. “I was 13 in 2003,” she tells him, and Joel does some quick mental math. She’s only 33. So young, but so confident, so self assured, and so fucking gorgeous.

“My parents were both doctors, and they did their best to teach me what they knew.” He can hear in her voice, how much she misses them. Everybody here misses someone.

“Well, they did a good job,” he says, and the look she gives him in response nearly stops his heart. She beams at him, smiling ear to ear, and holds his injured hand in hers.

“Thank you, Joel.”

xxx

It’s a marvel that my hands aren’t shaking as I bandage his newly sewn wound. Joel has never come into the clinic before, and while I don’t wish anyone to be sick, I’ve always hoped he’d find a reason to visit, just so we’d have an excuse to talk.

I don’t know if he can feel it too, or if it’s just in my head, but the tension in the room is making me feel dizzy. I’ve never been this close to him, and it’s intoxicating.

He’s a man of few words, but the fact that he used those few words to compliment me has my head spinning. And has me feeling unusually bold.

As he stands up and grabs his coat, he says, “I don’t have payment, but I noticed your porch is crooked. I can fix it, if you want.”

I wave my hand in the air, even though the image of Joel working with his hands, sweaty, maybe even shirtless (a total dream, since it’s cold outside), on my porch, is the most enticing thought I’ve ever had.

“No payment necessary.”

He shakes his head, a cold look of determination on his handsome features.

“Once I’m done at Paulette’s in a few days, I’ll be down to fix it for you.”

He doesn’t say another word before walking out the door.

xxx

True to his word, in four days, Joel is back at my house with a wagon of supplies. He arrives early in the morning before any patients are set to come, and I greet him at the door still in pajamas, holding coffee.

He wastes no time with chatting, and gets right to work after explaining that my patients will need to use the side door for a few days.

It’s unnerving, knowing he’s right out there. Between appointments I offer him food, drinks and company, and he humors me by accepting, and mostly listening to me talk while he eats whatever sandwich I’ve made him.

I find myself wondering if I can find other projects around the house, just to keep him there.

By the third day, I can tell he’s nearly finished. I escort my latest patient out the side door with instructions on how to take care of a minor burn, and then join Joel by the porch.

“It looks wonderful, Joel. You’re amazing,” I say with a smile, and he nearly returns it, his lips twitching upward for just a second. If he actually smiled at me, it might knock me off my already unsteady feet.

“Should have it finished today.”

My heart sinks all the way down to my feet, and I wrap my jacket tight around myself. “Let me take you to dinner. As a thanks.”

“Porch was already a thanks,” he replies, holding up his hand, still bandaged.

“Well… I can make you dinner. Tonight. How about that?”

He glances at the porch, and then at me, and his expression is impossible to read.

“Sure, dinner sounds good.”

xxx

I can’t fucking cook. Why the fuck did I invite Joel for dinner? He’s already had the best I can do - sandwiches. Plain ass sandwiches.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

The dinner I’m throwing together looks like hell. It started off as soup but something happened to it, the texture is gritty and thick, and even though the flavor is pretty okay, it’s still an embarrassing meal to serve to anyone.

Especially an anyone that you’re obsessed with.

But Joel is knocking on the door and there’s no time to fix this horrifying mess, so I take off my stupid apron and hang it on the hook, then greet him with a practiced smile.

Damn, he looks handsome. Jeans just tight enough, and a blue and green flannel unbuttoned over a gray t-shirt.

He’s holding a bottle of wine, which he extends to me. It must be from Paulette - she brews it in her cellar.

“Oh wow, thank you!” I say, taking it and ushering him into the kitchen, where I find my wine opener. “Okay, so, this dinner is not going to be very good. Please don’t destroy the porch as retribution,” I say with a laugh as I pull the cork from the wine.

When I turn, I expect to find Joel across the kitchen, maybe sitting at the table, but he’s directly behind me.

I nearly bump into him, he’s so close, staring down at me with an unreadable expression that stops me in my tracks and leaves my jaw hanging open.

“I don’t really care about the food,” he says in his deep, crawling drawl, and it sends shivers up my spine. He plucks the wine bottle and opener from my hands, and sets them on the counter next to me, next to my pot of failed soup.

“Oh,” is all I can think of in reply, because I really cannot tell what is happening.

Until Joel reaches out, his fingers brushing so gently along my cheek for hands so rough, and tucks a stray curl behind my ear. His gaze lingers over my face, and then trails downward.

“Oh,” I say again in understanding, as a nervous coil begins to form low in my belly.

“Oh,” Joel echoes, staring at me with such intensity that I shiver. I step closer to him, closing the already small gap between us, and reach up to grab the collar of his shirt.

It takes no effort to pull him down, until his lips are a breath away from mine.

He smells like winter, like the outdoors that he spends so much of his time in, and I close my eyes and take a deep breath of him in, my shoulders shuddering when I let it out.

“Oh,” I say once more, before his mouth captures mine in a kiss that starts off tentative, unsure, and deepens into something startlingly passionate, and I can’t help but let out a small moan.

One of his strong hands wraps around the back of my neck, while his other arm circles my waist, pinning me flush to him.

I don’t even realize he’s backing me up until I bump into the counter, and I wrap my arms around his neck as his hands fall to my waist, and squeeze.

A moment later, our lips still locked, he lifts me up by my hips and sets me on the counter.

I squeal in surprise, and feel him smile against my lips. My hands find their way into his hair, and I moan into his mouth when his hips push forward into mine, eager and demanding. I spread my legs, wrapping them around him, desperate to pull him closer to me.

He breaks our kiss then, and trails his mouth, hot and wet, down my jaw and my neck, and I lean back, exposing as much of myself as possible to him.

His hands grip my hips tightly, grinding me against him, and I feel breathless and light headed.

“Maybe…” I say, mustering all of the strength I possess, “maybe we should go upstairs.”

“Mhm,” he says in return, and steps away slowly, as if it pains him to do it, and sets me on the ground. He stares at me like I’m a meal and he hasn’t eaten in weeks. “Lead the way.”

I take his hand in mine and pull him up what now feels like the longest set of stairs that’s ever existed, to the first room on the right.

It’s a little messy, as I truly had not imagined Joel returned my interest, and wouldn’t have imagined all this even if he had, but at least the bed is made.

For now. I yell in surprise when Joel picks me up like I weigh nothing and tosses me into my queen sized bed, and stares down at me again with that intense look.

As he crawls to me, parting my legs once more, he says, “I’ve seen you staring at me.”

A blush creeps across my cheeks. He hooks his knee behind mine, spreading my legs wider and settling between them, his firm body pressed to mine.

“I knew you wanted me,” he says quietly, his lips ghosting over mine. “I wanted to bend you over your desk when I came in with my bloody hand.”

A small gasp escapes my lips, and he dips his head to bite the soft flesh of my neck.

“I would have let you,” I reply.

He chuckles. The deep sound of it sends ripples up my spine. “I know.”

He kisses my neck and collar bone tenderly as his hand trails down my side, and begins slowly pulling the skirt I’m wearing up and up, until it’s bunched around my waist.

His fingers tease the waistband of my panties, and I squirm with need.

His mouth finds mine again as his fingers dip below my panty line, finding soaking wet core. He lets out a deep moan, and I buck my hips, desperate for more.

“Fuck, you’re wet,” he drawls.

“Need you,” I breathe.

His fingers work at a punishing pace that has me gasping and wriggling beneath him as I beg and curse at him.

No one has touched me like this in so long, and even when they did, it was nothing like Joel. His rough hands, the way he looks at me, kissing me and whispering to me as he goes, it brings me to the edge quicker than I thought possible.

I moan his name as I tumble over, my orgasm taking me by surprise.

“Yes, say my name,” he replies, and doesn’t let up until I ask him to.

He kisses me again as I lay there, feeling boneless but still needing more - needing him.

“Take your clothes off,” I demand, suddenly away that we’re both still fully clothed, which feels childish and exciting at the same time.

He smirks down at me. “Yes, ma’am.”

As he stands to remove his jeans and flannel, I pull my white tshirt over my head, and remove my skirt and ruined underwear next.

He pauses, boxers still on, and stares at me, naked on the bed.

Fuck, he’s perfect. Strong and sturdy and so much a man that I feel I might die if he doesn’t get back on the bed soon.

“You’re perfect,” he says in that deep drawl of his, echoing my own thoughts, and I can’t help but blush. I crawl off the bed and walk to him, grabbing his hand.

With a hand on his chest, I push him to the bed, and he allows me to, falling backwards.

He gazes at me hungrily as I crawl over him, and pull his boxers off and toss them into the floor.

The intake of breath from him is sharp when I straddle him. He’s so fucking big, but I’m so fucking ready.

His calloused hands grip my hips as I tease him, rubbing my pussy over his hard length. I feel powerful when he moans and his hips stir. I want to drive him as crazy as he’s been driving me.

I lift up and position him at my entrance, and his eyes meet mine, practically begging me for it.

Slowly, I settle down into him, inch by inch, letting myself stretch to accommodate his size.

“Fuck,” I moan, the word drawn out as my head falls back and I seat myself on him fully. Nothing has ever felt this good, not in my entire life. “Joel…”

“Yes, baby. Move for me,” he says gently, but it’s a demand. I look down at him, see the determination in his eyes, and start to move.

He hisses as I do, still gripping my hips, guiding me.

He hits every spot I need him to, so fucking deep inside me, and another orgasm starts building immediately.

So quickly, Joel flips us over, so I’m face down on the bed, and I yelp in surprise.

“I need to really fuck you, baby. Hard.”

He pulls my hips up, spreading my legs, and slams into me. I scream when he does it, and the scream melts into a moan as he pulls out of me and slams back in again, the sound of flesh on flesh hitting my ears.

“Oh fuck, Joel. Oh fuck!”

“Yes, that’s right,” he says in a strained voice as he begins to lose control, fucking me hard and fast, the pressure building and building. I grip the sheets below me and my eyes water.

“You belong to me,” he says, leaning closer to whisper in my ear. “You’re mine now. Say it.”

“I’m yours. Oh fuck, I’m yours.”

His pace is punishing, and perfect. It doesn’t take long before I’m cumming again, my walls gripping him tight, and pulling him over the edge with me.

xxx

He hadn’t planned to do any of that. He had planned to sit for dinner, ask her questions about herself, try to be - as Ellie had said - charming.

It flew out the fucking window the moment she opened the door. She was always covered up outside, wearing a jacket or sweater, and at the clinic, she’d dressed professionally. Still, he could see how beautiful she was.

It was nothing compared to the sight of her in that white tshirt, tight across her chest, and the floral skirt hanging from her hips with a slit so far up the side it made his heart stop for a minute.

Her hair, usually braided or pulled back, hung in wild curls around her shoulders, much longer than he’d known it was, and it made his mouth dry.

There could be no sitting through dinner, no talking - that could be after.

Joel had not needed anyone this way in a long time. Maybe ever. He had to have her, had to let her know she belonged to him, not just tonight but every night after.

The quiet doctor who stared at him, who was so gentle and kind and intelligent, who turned out to be absolutely filthy, just like he’d hoped.

She lay on his chest afterward, her coarse curls tickling his bare chest, and she squeezed him tightly, as if she was worried he was going to get up and bolt.

He struggled for the words now, to tell her that wasn’t going to happen. Now that he had her, he wasn’t going to let her go, this one bright thing he’d found for himself.

“I, uh, I’m sorry I didn’t eat your dinner. You know, first,” he said, and it’s not what he’d meant to say. It’s just what came out.

She laughed, the sound like church bells. “It’s really bad, Joel. I can’t cook. I just invited for your dinner because I was desperate for a date with you.”

His heart warmed, and he squeezed her shoulder.

She lifted her head, propping herself up on his chest, and smiled down at him.

“I’m just going to ask and if it’s awkward after, then so be it,” she said. “Was this a one time thing, for you?”

He could see it in her eyes, how desperately she wanted him to say no. Her lips darted from his eyes to his lips and back.

“No, it wasn’t,” he replied, and together, they both relaxed. The tension left their bodies, as that line was drawn.

Not a one time thing.

“I meant what I said,” Joel told the woman in his arms.

She raised her eyebrows at him.

“You’re mine now.”

A shy smile pulled at her lips, and despite all they’d just done, a blush painted her freckled cheeks. She kissed him gently once, twice, three times.

“Then you’re mine, too.”

She couldn’t imagine how fine that was with him.

[geeky92]

Screw it, I’m gonna say it: I actually think the Lilo & Stitch remake is WORSE than the Snow White remake!

On a surface level, I should be more angry at the latter, considering it’s a bastardization of the film that went on to be the very foundation of Walt Disney Animation Studios (and the Walt Disney Company as a whole). But the former makes me angry on a much deeper, and more personal level.

I was only 10 when I saw the original Lilo & Stitch in theaters, and up until Elsa came along, Lilo was the only “autistic coded” Disney character that truly made me feel seen. Sure, there’ve been other autistic coded Disney characters before her (Ariel, Belle, Quasimodo, Hercules, Tarzan, Milo Thatch), but Lilo was the one I felt was the closest to being realistically autistic: creepy girl with weird hobbies struggles to make friends with other people her age, tends to lash out when someone insults her or misunderstands her, and is generally seen as this social outcast.

Heck, every other main character in Lilo & Stitch is pretty much a social outcast too:

Jumba is an “evil genius”, who the Galactic Council sees as nothing more than a pompous idiot.

Pleakley’s a scrawny nerd who’s completely enamored with Earth’s culture and history (in his own distorted, alien kind of way), and is unapologetically gender non-conforming.

Stitch is a genetically engineered “experiment” who was designed for destruction.

Then there’s Nani, who may not be as much of an “outcast” as the others, but she’s still a young woman living in poverty with her recently orphaned little sister and struggling to find a job in a nation that’s frequently populated by colonizers and tourists. Plus, she’s basically the only other human (besides David) who sees Lilo as a person, and not just a little terror.

Once I’ve read all the leaked spoilers for the live-action remake of Lilo & Stitch, I wasn’t just angry, I was FURIOUS! Practically everything about the original movie that I just described here is either completely absent or significantly dumbed down in the remake! It’s like they tore out everything that made Lilo & Stitch a neurodivergent masterpiece, and made it for the Neurotypical Gaze!

Anyway, I’m done ranting about this piece of shit remake, and I hope it flops harder than that dumb Mufasa movie.

[thewritingfairy]

↪ 04. Distraction is the best medication inspired by acid-ixx, rizzanon and nikovraskol

PREV PART trigger warnings: medical + emotional/physical neglect, high pain, flashbacks, enabling, shouting main m.list series m.list

 

Your baking had been a success, your cake for mama Angelica was perfect. The decoration (courtesy of your friend Flora) looked gorgeous, your cookies were smelling amazing, and the cake you made from left over batter looked delicious. You just couldn’t wait to try them, but right now the kitchen must be cleaned. You just need a minute to catch your breath, so you sit down on the kitchen stool but something feels off. You feel dizzy, more so then usual. “I need to stay seated for a while,” you blurt out, causing your friends to stop chatting. Your eyes unfocused, your hands shaking just ever so light. But most importantly, you looked like you were about to drop death. “I’ll help with the clean up-”

“How long has it been since you’ve eaten?” Maria interrupts you, grabbing a glass out of the cupboard as your youngest friend, Willow, grabs a cookie and hands it you. “you look like you haven’t eaten all day.”

You hum nervously; “Well, I might have only eaten an apple before I left the house….”

“...You better be joking,” Maria hisses as she gives you a glass of water. “you are eating that cookie, rest while we clean this up and then I am going to make you a meal.” You giggle nervously, however Maria isn’t playing around. Neither are the rest of your friends. “Doesn’t that butler, mr. Pennyworth, always make sure you eat before you leave?”

You throw your head back as you sigh; “Jason and Richard are at the manor.”

Your friends blink and turn to look at each other. “That Jason?” Francis, Willow’s older brother and one of your closest friends, asks. “The Jason that should be in jail?”

“You mean the Jason that faked his death?!” Willow shouts before you could respond. “The bitch ass that got Mr Wayne to disregard you even more, the bitch ass that destroyed your mother’s heirlooms?!”

Maria whistles anxiously, signalling to your other friends that it’s time to clean up. Francis and Willow are a duo that you do not want to cross when they are pissed off. You wince and rub your arm gently. You’re too exhausted and too pain ridden to talk about this right now. “Guys, I don’t really want to talk about this in my current state,” when those words left your mouth Francis and Willow’s expression soften, they don’t want to cause you stress. But their anger at Jason coming over to the manor was something you could understand. It’s anger you feel as well. It’s anger that has consumed you since the day Jason got that terrifying crazed look in his eyes and destroyed the last view things you had of your mother. But that anger meant Jason had a hold over you, that he had power of you, and now you’ve let go of that anger. Jason doesn’t deserve anything when it comes to you.

He doesn’t deserve your anger, he doesn’t deserve your tears, your mother does and ancestors do. You tried to fix the heirlooms and most you were able to save, but you still had a box full of shards and remains of heirlooms that were even older than the whole Wayne family combined. You still hold the grief of never learning about your mother’s family, you still hold grief over the things you never learned.“He no longer has any power over me,” you whisper, your voice breaking as tears threaten to fall down your face. “I just don’t want to see him.”

“And that’s alright,” Francis whispers, sitting in front of you on his knees as he takes your hand. “as Maxwell always says, chose your own peace. Not what makes them more comfortable.”

“However,” Willow interjects. “Do eat, your body needs nutrition. Especially with what it goes through every day.”

“….I know, I just wasn’t hungry,” you say as you felt the need to justify your actions. “I was nervous for that job interview, wow.”

“Yeah who knew Penguin would be such a good employer,” Maria comments as she takes out a pan from the pantry. “Why don’t you guys go sit in the living room, my parents and sister aren’t coming home until like 8 pm so we can just watch whatever on the TV.”

Flora gasps dramatically. “We are re-watching Winx the rainbow seasons!”

“Fine by me,” you say with a shrug. “can someone help me get over to the couch though? I still feel a bit light-headed and I do not trust my legs right now.”

“Understandable,” Willow hums as she helps you up and intertwines your arms. “especially with how clumsy you can be. Like who thought of that combination?”

“The universe.” Francis deadpans.

“Bitch.” Willow curses as she sticks her tongue out.

You’re glad, distraction is the best medicine against high pain (and quite frankly the Rainbow version of the early Winx seasons are amazing and filled with nostalgia). Your brain was no longer focused on the extremes of what could have happened if life went differently. Sure, your pain’s still prevalent and your eyes are heavy with exhaustion. But you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Alright who wants a plate besides (Name)?”

this chapter will have a side story diving deeper into what Jason did (you won't need to read this for future chapters but it will give more context), thank you for reading<3 NEXT PART

Taglist: @prettiest-thing-in-the-morgue, @shadowytravelerlover, @1abi, @leeiasure, @frank-vanderboom, @stove-top96, @amber-content, @lithiumval, @bunniotomia, @chericia, @marsmabe, @cssammyyarts, @lingxio, @foolishseven, @kore-of-the-underworld, @bunbunboysworld, @homeless-clown, @alwaysholymilkshake, @miashico, @kittzu

[marauder-misprint]

Sentient shadow

Theodore Nott x fem!reader

Part II

5.4k words

cw: fluff, no y/n, stranger to friends to lovers

Theo had never been to his grandfather’s house. The old man always went to Nott Manor when Theo’s mother was still alive and he was barely seen after her death. So Theo was surprised when he arrived with his things that his grandfather truly lived in the middle of nowhere. Nott Manor was secluded by the acres of land on the estate, the closest neighbor was kilometers away. This, wherever he was now, was a small town with what looked like the necessities on a main street that was surrounded by a few rows of houses. The next nearest town was over a day’s walk, ensuring that any travel would be done via broom, floo or apparition. 

This was his new home. At least until he graduated from Hogwarts and could be allowed some money from his family’s fortune to rent a flat near whatever job he ended up getting. 

His grandfather tried to keep Theo active, assigning him chores for in and outside the house. They sometimes got done. Theo often opted to lock himself in the dingey guest room that was his “for as long as you need it,” as his grandfather said. Theo was grateful that he was allowed to stay with family and said family lived in a wizarding town, but it wasn’t home. 

Still, his grandfather persisted. After a few days of allowing Theo to “unpack and get settled,” he sent his grandson out of the house and told him to get some fresh air. 

“You can come back in for dinner. Get lunch from Mr. Lester, tell ‘im I sent you. Meet people. Get to know the area.” 

Theo wanted to say that there wasn’t anything to get to know. He bit his tongue and nodded. He left the house and strolled down the stone street with his hands shoved in his pockets. 

That’s when he saw you exiting the bakery with a muffin in hand. He recognized your face. Sort of. You looked around his age and he was fairly certain he’d seen you around Hogwarts, but no name came to mind. When you saw him walking in your direction, confusion flashed across your face. 

“Theodore,” you said when he got close enough. 

“Ah, you know who I am,” he said casually. 

You rolled your eyes. “Who doesn’t know Malfoy and his friends?” 

It was clear you didn’t like Draco with how you said his name. Not that Theo could blame you; not many people outside of his immediate friend group liked him. 

You gave Theo a curt nod and started to walk away, but he went with you. He didn’t say anything more and neither did you. You ended up leading him to the small park-ish area of the town. There was a small play structure for children, a few trees in the grassy area and picnic tables. You gave Theo an odd look when he sat across from you at the picnic table. You just wanted to eat your muffin in peace. 

“What are you doing?” you asked, not even attempting to mask the rudeness in your voice. 

“Sitting.”

“And why are you doing it at this table?”

“From what I can see, you’re the only one around here who isn’t five or fifty, Dolcezza.”

“The Watsons live here,” you stated dryly.

Watsons? Theo didn’t recognize the surname.

“You can get to know Parker.”

Parker Watson. Right. He was a Slytherin a few years younger than Theo. 

“I’m not wasting my summer with a thirteen year old.” 

You sighed. It seemed as if you weren’t getting rid of Theo anytime soon. At least he wasn’t staring directly at you while you ate. He was obviously taking in the area. You tried to be fine with the silence, but your curiosity was getting the better of you. 

“Why are you here?” 

“I told you. You’re the-”

“Not at this table. Why are you in my town?” 

“It’s our town now. I have to stay with my grandfather since Father’s been shipped off to Azkaban and my mum’s eight feet in the ground.”

“Oh,” you said quietly, looking away from Theo. “I didn’t…”

“Yeah.” 

You sat in silence with Theo for a few minutes. Eventually, he stopped looking around and just stared at you. You did your best not to shrink into yourself under his dark eyes, but you did shift in your seat. A few more minutes passed and you got up. Theo mirrored you. He walked with you as you headed to the corner store. 

He follows you around the small shop. You don’t buy anything. You rarely do. It’s really just something to do. Neither of you spoke to each other as you went down aisle after aisle. Theo even went with you as you walked home, but as soon as he continued all the way to your front door, you stuck your arm out to block him from entering the house.

“If you’re going to be my shadow, stay out here. I’ll be back.” 

He nodded. Then he leaned against the wall of your house to wait for you to return. You don’t hurry to gather the few things you need. You took your sweet time. 

“Who were you talking to?” your mother asked when you went into the kitchen to grab a water bottle. 

You hummed, not looking at her. “Uh, someone from school. They’re staying here… for the summer.” 

You knew Theo was staying for longer than the summer, but you didn’t need to be having this conversation with your mother about someone you really barely knew. 

“Someone from school? One of your friends?” your mother pressed. 

“No.”

“Who is it?” 

“No one,” you said before turning to leave. 

You didn’t let her ask another question. You knew that she was about to start asking questions that you didn’t have the answers to. Theo was waiting for you when you walked out of the house. You didn’t look at him or greet him in any way. Like before, he followed you. You went back to the park and sat at the picnic table again. Theo retook his spot across from you. You read for the rest of the morning. 

“Can you point me in the direction of Mr… uh, Leprechaun? Leprosy? Lemon?”

You raised your eyebrows, not looking up from your book. “Lester.” 

“Yeah. Him.”

“Butcher shop’s next to the store we were in,” you said lazily. 

Theo wordlessly got up and left you. You rolled your eyes. You were glad to be truly alone for the first time since you left the bakery. But it didn’t last too long. Theo got lunch from Mr. Lester and ate it outside his shop. Then he went back to you and sat back down.

That’s how the two of you sat for a while. Silence. The wind rustled the leaves and you turned the pages of your book, but you didn’t talk. Eventually, Theo laid down on the bench with his hands behind his head. It was better than him watching you. 

When the sun started to set, you got up, ready to go home again. As soon as you stood up, Theo sat up. 

“Where are you going, Dolcezza?” he asked.

“Home.” 

Theo got up and walked with you in the direction of your house. At first you think he’s walking you home, like the shadow he’s been. But then he turned down the pathway to Mr. Faust’s house. You stopped walking.

“Your grandfather… He’s Mr. Faust?” you called when Theo was halfway down the path.

Theo looked over his shoulder at you, barely pausing to say, “Yes.” 

You were distracted for the rest of the evening. You’d talked to Mr. Faust before. Spent a little bit of time with him. Such happens when you live in a smaller, remote town. You know the residents. And Mr. Faust told you that you reminded him of his daughter. You knew he only had one daughter – who apparently was Theo’s mother. 

Once inside, Theo’s grandfather calls for him from the kitchen. He was working on dinner for the two of them. 

“I hear you’ve met Y/N. Lovely girl, isn’t she?” 

“She goes to Hogwarts, Grandfather. Of course, I know her.” 

Once his grandfather said your name, Theo could place you in his year, your house, the classes you’ve shared over the years. He hadn’t spoken to you much, only when he had to. He isn’t sure how his grandfather knows he spent practically all day with you. Maybe one of the other residents of the town is a gossip. 

“Well, I wasn’t sure if you were friends. I’ve never heard her talk about you.” 

“How much time do you spend with her?” Theo asked.

“Oh, not too much. She does some mending for me and some others, and she tells stories about Hogwarts to the littler ones when she works. Sometimes I listen for a little bit after dropping off or picking up my things. She’s never mentioned you.” 

“Well, I do know her. We’re just not close.” 

“Maybe that will change.”

“Maybe.” 

Theo’s grandfather considered telling him that you are like his mother. For now, that would be something he kept to himself. A little reminder of her lived on in you. He’d tell Theo about it if he got to know you better.

---

Theo waited for you at the end of the pathway of his grandfather’s house. He assumed you would walk by again. If not, he probably would have stood there all day, casually leaning against the stone wall. When you passed him, you didn’t greet him. You didn’t even acknowledge him. But he still pushed himself off the wall and quickly matched your stride.

“Reading again today?” he asked as you sat down at the same table as yesterday. 

You placed your bag on the table and pulled out some clothing that you were working on mending. 

“I see, telling stories instead,” he said with a smirk. “Entertain me.” 

“I tell stories to children,” you clarified as you quickly got to work. “You aren’t a child.” 

“I can act like one if it gets me a story.”

“Once upon a time, there was a new person in my town and he decided to follow me around like a sentient shadow. His reasoning for doing so is unknown. The end,” you said dryly, not looking up from your work. 

“A sentient shadow?” 

“Mine doesn’t talk to me. Does yours?” 

He shrugged, which you were just able to see in your peripheral vision. Your lips twitched as you stifled a laugh. Theo saw it. You kept working. He watched you for a while, admiring how your fingers pushed the needle and thread through pants and shirts and a stuffed animal. Eventually, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one. He held the pack out to you.

“Want one?” 

“No,” you said flatly. “And I’d rather you didn’t around me.” 

“Alright.” 

Theo stood up and walked away from you. You didn’t think he’d actually listen. He stood at a distance until he finished his lit cigarette. Once it was finished, he came back to the table, but he didn’t sit down.

“You’ll show me around sometime, Dolcezza?” Although his voice said it as a question, it felt like a statement. A prediction, even. 

He stood at the end of the table, waiting for a response. He could wait. Your hands stopped, setting down your needle. 

“If you wait, I can. These won’t take all day.” 

He nodded before laying down on the bench like he had done yesterday. You got back to work. Your thoughts drifted to every time you interacted with Theo at school. They were all brief interactions. The occasional partnered spellwork. Him asking you to pass some ingredients in Potions. You saying ‘excuse me’ as you moved past him in the library. It really was strange to be spending time with him. But he stuck around until you finished what you needed to.

“Ready?” you asked, standing up and slinging your bag over your shoulder.

He was silent as he got up. You started down the main street with him at your side. You pointed out each building and who ran the shop.

“You’ll learn their names soon enough. Only so many people live here.” 

Then you started around the neighborhood. You listed off the names of who lived in each house, making sure to note the Watson house in case Theo decided that he did want to spend his summer with Parker rather than you. Every few houses, you told him to wait in the street while you dropped off what you had mended. Everyone looked past you at Theo. Word of his arrival hadn’t fully made its rounds through the town.

“Is that your boyfriend?” an older lady, Mrs. Thomas, asked.

“No. Mr. Faust’s grandson is living with him this summer.”

“Shame… He’s a handsome one.” 

You gave her a tight-lipped smile and wished her a good afternoon. You knew she was watching you as you walked back to Theo. She would more definitely be spreading the rumor that you were dating him, being the gossip that she was. 

The next day Theo was waiting for you again at the end of his grandfather’s property. 

“What’s the plan for today, Dolcezza?” he asked. 

You weren’t headed in the direction of the park, rather you were walking out of the town’s perimeter. Theo wasn’t complaining. He was looking forward to doing something new.

“If you’re following me around again, you’ll have to wait and see.”

He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. You walked in silence on the path that would eventually take you to the next town. Your town wasn’t even out of sight when you turned off the designated path and onto one that appeared to be made from being walked on so many times. Theo hesitated slightly before following you. You moved quicker on this trail. It wasn’t on purpose; it was simply a habit. You were the one who made the trail so you knew every step and every turn like the back of your hand. And you knew it would lead to a clearing.

You had planted some flowers around the edge of the clearing, and by their own pollination, they expanded inward. You sat down against a large tree and sighed. This was your spot. You had debated telling Theo to not follow you today, but he had been tolerable enough the last two days. It was really to get away from the people in town when you needed a break. You didn’t see him as someone from town. Plus, he would probably need this space as well as the summer went on. You were being thoughtful. 

You didn’t bring anything to do. You were going to sit and do nothing. That’s usually what you did out here. All you needed was fresh air and your imagination to keep you entertained. And sometimes you fell asleep. It was connecting with nature. 

Theo brought a book with him, because he was expecting to end up at the park again. He stood at the edge of the clearing, taking it in, as you sat down. He didn’t enter it right away. He seemed to sense that this place was special to you. When he did sit down, he leaned against a tree on the other side of the clearing, giving you your space. 

He read for a while. You watched him for a while. You had to agree with Mrs. Thomas, he was handsome. But he was also friends with Malfoy and all of his friends. They weren’t people you normally associated with. Theo himself didn’t seem too bad. Maybe he was okay. At least he could be okay for the summer and you could go back to not talking to each other when the school year started. 

After a while, you assumed when he finished a chapter or two, Theo put down his book and took something out of his pocket. It was too small to be his wand. He flicked his wrist and a shiny, silver blade appeared. Your eyes widened with the sudden fear that maybe you had led him to a secluded area and now he could kill you and no one would ever know. Then he flicked his wrist the other direction, and  the blade disappeared. He did this a few times before he reached for a small branch. He started one of the ends into a point. Once one end was sufficiently sharpened, he flipped it and did the same to the other side. When that was done, he stabbed the ground next to his leg. And he reached for another stick. 

You watched him do this a few more times before you laid down and stared up at the branches high above you with their green leaves. His repetitive scraping was oddly soothing. You didn’t realize you had fallen asleep until Theo was prodding your shoulder. 

“It’s about dinner time. I don’t know how to get back.”

You sat up and stretched. “Yeah. Right. Just give me one sec.”

He backed up, giving you space to get up and gather yourself. It wasn’t like you had brought anything with you. You walked in silence back to town. Theo hesitated before heading down the path to his grandfather’s. 

“I like that place. Thanks, Dolcezza,” he said monotonously. He nodded and then walked toward the door.

You waited until he was inside. You hadn’t expected that. You and Theo, despite having spent three days together now, didn’t talk. But the sentiment behind those five words left a warm feeling in your chest. You thought it was possibly the beginning of friendship. 

“Where’d you take Faust’s grandson today?” your mother asked as you entered your house. 

She stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching you kick off your shoes. 

“Nowhere,” you lied. 

She chuckled. “Was he who you were talking to the other day?”

“Yes.”

“I see… I hear he’s handsome.” 

“Can we not talk about Theodore?”

“Is that his name? Mrs. Thomas didn’t know.”

“What’s for dinner?” You tried to change the topic and your mother smiled knowingly. 

You were avoiding. You didn’t want to talk about it so why wouldn’t you? You knew that you’d be dodging her questions all through dinner anyways, and probably the rest of the week. And if Theo kept following you around, it would be all summer. 

The next few days, you stayed around town. You couldn’t shake Theo. Wherever you went, he went, except for your house. You didn’t let him in. If you had to go back to your house during the day, he wanted on the front porch until you came out again. He watched you do more mending. He read when you read. You actually started working on your summer assignments. He had muttered something about doing the assignments the week before school. Then he laid down on the bench and fell asleep. A few times you went back to the clearing and Theo added more sticks to his collection. 

Throughout all of this, you started talking more and more. You were actually getting to know him. He was still pretty quiet though, letting you talk. But if you asked him a question, he answered, although his answers were consistently shorter than yours. 

During July, your mother asked if you could get some fish. You said you’d try. You grabbed your pole and went out. Like always, Theo was waiting for you outside his grandfather’s. He eyed your pole warily but didn’t say anything. You walked out of town side by side. He gave you a confused look when you didn’t turn off on the trail to the clearing. You kept walking. If he wasn’t going to ask, you weren’t going to tell him. 

After a little bit, you turned down another trail. This one was even less worn than the clearing. You didn’t have as much speed on this one and Theo was able to keep right behind you. He let out a ‘huh’ when you came upon a pond. It was tiny compared to the Black Lake, but it was big enough to have fish. There wasn’t a dock or anything so you stood on the edge of the grass to fish.

Theo stood off to the side as you cast your line into the water. He had a strange look in his eyes that you can’t quite place as he watched you. You realize it’s some kind of mix of wonder and amazement once you reel in a fish. If anyone asked, you’d say the fish in the pond were dumb. They were easy to catch. 

“Can you teach me?” he asked all of a sudden. 

You jumped, having been standing in silence for over an hour. You looked over your shoulder at him. 

“You’ve never fished before?”

He shook his head. You sighed and motioned for him to come closer. You explained the button that allowed the line to slack and how to flick the rod so that the hook and lure went flying. 

“Some people use live bait, but my lure has done me good so far. And after you cast, you spin this handle to reel it back in. The lure mimics a smaller fish swimming. And if you feel a bite, you jerk the rod to catch the hook in the fish’s mouth.” You paused and held out your rod for Theo. “Give it a try.”

He exhaled through his nose as he took it. “Swish and flick, right, Dolcezza? Just like what Flitwick taught us.”

You laughed. Theo smiled at that and then he attempted to cast. It didn’t go nearly as far as when you did it. 

“That’s okay. It takes practice. … You’ll want to go a little faster than that. The fish is swimming, not lollygagging.” 

“Right…” 

“And it’s all in the wrist,” you said when he was about to cast again. 

This cast was better than the first, but it still needed work. For a first time fisherman, Theo wasn’t doing too horribly, but you knew all the fish you’d be bringing home would be yours unless Theo got a stroke of luck. You stepped back to observe him. He looked happy, peaceful. There was a lightness to his features that you hadn’t seen at Hogwarts. 

After a decent amount of casting and a few bites from fish that got away, Theo gave you your rod back. You fished until you had enough to bring home to your mother. You hung them up on a tree, leaned your rod against the same tree and took your shoes off to wade in the water. Theo watched you in silence.

“It feels nice,” you called to him. “If you want to…” 

He slid his shoes off and tentatively walked into the water, wincing slightly at the coldness and squishy feeling beneath his feet. 

“No ponds on the Nott property?” you asked as he walked toward you.

“No.” He took a startled step to the left. “What the fuck touched my leg?”

You laughed at his expression. “Either a fish or seaweed. You know, algae and underwater plants.”

“Gross.”

“You know what’s gross?” You leaned down and slashed water at his face. “Tasting this water.”

He swore again before splashing you back. You were both thoroughly soaked by the time you were done splashing each other. He had turned his back to you to head back to shore when you gave his back a gentle shove. It took him by surprise. He stumbled. It happened in slow motion: him somehow turning around, grabbing you and pulling you down into the fall as he completely lost his balance. You practically landed on top of him. You could feel your face burning as you rolled away from him in the shallow water. 

“That was evil,” you said, earning a laugh from Theo.

“Says the girl who pushed me.”

“Touché.”

Once out of the water, you put your shoes back down. You grabbed the fish and your pole, but then Theo reached for the fish to take them from you. 

“I know I didn’t catch any, but I can carry them. You got the rod.”

You let him take them. The walk back to town is quiet but comfortable. You occasionally look at him through your periphery. He appeared to be so content with whatever this friendship was, even if it had led to him walking a distance in drenched clothing. You’d be lying if you said your clothing was comfortable right now. 

He walked with you the entire way back to your house. He stood on the porch as you put away your rod and then he held out the fish when you came back to get them. 

“You can-” The words couldn’t come out of your mouth fast enough.

“Is this Theodore Faust?” your mother asked, appearing behind you. Your face burned more than it had when you fell on him earlier.

“Nott, ma’am,” he corrected her. 

“How lovely to meet you,” she said with a smile. “Oh, you went fishing too? Would you like to have dinner with us? We’ll be cooking some of those up.” 

Could your face turn any redder? 

To your relief, Theo shook his head. “I’d love to, but I should be getting back to Grandfather. I appreciate the offer, ma’am.”

“Another time, then. I’ll invite your grandfather as well.”

You offered Theo a pained smile, which he returned as he handed you the fish. You knew that your mother was going to talk about this all through the evening and possibly the week.

“Mrs. Thomas was not doing that young man justice,” your mother murmured as she turned back into the house. 

You rotated what you did over the next few days. Going to the clearing, sitting in the park, just going for walks, working on homework. And whatever you did, Theo did too. You told yourself that he just didn’t want to be alone, whether that was his choice or if his grandfather was forcing him to leave the house. You wouldn’t’ve been surprised if it was the latter. Still, he seemed to be enjoying your company at least. He wasn’t complaining. 

“Can we do fish tonight?” your mother asked. 

You nodded as you drank your morning tea. 

“If that Theodore is going with you, bring your father’s rod. I’m sure Mr. Faust wouldn’t mind some.”

You nodded again. Your father hadn’t used his rod in years. You grabbed it and headed toward Mr. Faust’s house, where Theo was waiting. He tilted his head slightly when he saw the second rod, but his face lit up when you handed it to him.

“Don’t break it,” you warned, despite knowing that Theo wouldn’t do that on purpose. But for good measure, you added, “It’s my father’s. I don’t think he’d forgive me if I only came back with one rod.”

“Two rods leave, two rods will come back,” Theo said solemnly. 

There was a spring in Theo’s step as you headed for the pond. You couldn’t help but smile at how excited he was. He really took a liking to fishing. A wide grin took over his face as he cast his line into the pond next to you. You didn’t talk much. You just cast, reeled, recast, reeled, removed a fish, and repeat. It was a comfortable quiet, only broken by the occasional comment. 

When you were done fishing, you didn’t go back into town right away. You turned down the trail to your clearing. You leaned your rod against a tree and hung up the fish; Theo leaned his rod up against yours. You went to sit down where you usually sat. You expected Theo to sit by his ever-growing stick spikes, but that’s not where he sat. He sat right by your side, close enough that your shoulders were touching. 

After a few minutes of peaceful silence, you said, “You’re not too bad, Theodore.”

He hummed. “You expected I would be?”

“Take a look at your friends. They’d hate living here.”

“I think Draco’d combust,” he said with a snorted laugh. 

“But you seem to be doing alright.”

“Thanks to you.” 

It’s quieter. It hung in the air between you. You don’t know what to do with that.

“You’re welcome.” There was silence. “You like fishing, huh?” 

“It’s… nice.” 

And that was it. Short answers were Theo’s forte. 

July came to an end. Despite what your mother said, Theo and his grandfather had yet to come over for dinner. You figured it would’ve been an awkward night if it had happened. You weren’t complaining that it wasn’t looking like it was going to happen. 

But you kept spending time with Theo. It got to the point where you would say you were friends. You were accustomed to his presence. Your sentient shadow really wasn’t as bad as you had expected, especially with the conversations you had in the clearing. During one of your days out there, he said that you could call him Theo if you wanted to.

“It’s what my friends call me,” he said as he stared up at the sky. You were both lying on your backs. “Well, except Draco. He’s a surname kind of bloke.”

“Theo…” you said, trying it out. “No offense but it’s weird. I mean, you’re Theodore Nott. Not Theo Nott.”

“I said if you wanted to. You don’t have to.” The words had a bit of bite to them. It felt like he wanted you to call him Theo, like that confirmed that you were friends and he wanted that.

“We are friends. I just don’t know…”

“Don’t worry about it. Really.”

More days passed. More sitting in the park. More walking around the corner shop and through the other shops. More mending. A few more fishing trips. And more afternoons in the clearing. 

You were both leaning against your usual tree. Theo had started sitting closer and closer to you each time you did this. His collection of spikes had stopped growing, with a few even falling over after a storm. He didn’t bother standing them back up. 

You sighed.

“This is all going to change when we go back to school, isn’t it?” you asked quietly as you stared up at the leaves from the trees across from you.

“Hm?”

“Whatever this… friendship is. It’s going to change once we’re back at Hogwarts. You know, when you’re back with Malfoy, Parkinson, Berkshire, Zabini.”

Silence fell between you. It was thick with something. You couldn’t put your finger on it. Theo was thinking about what you said; he didn’t necessarily want it to change. He had decided that he liked you. Whatever this was between you two, it was nice. 

“Do you want it to?” he asked slowly, his voice low like he didn’t want the trees to overhear his question.

“I mean, I like this Theo. He’s nice to be around. Funny. Good company.” 

Theo sat up a little straighter. You called him Theo. You noticed his adjustment and what you said. You could feel heat beginning to creep up your neck, which only got worse as he looked at you. You didn’t meet his eye, not knowing that if you had, you’ve been met with a soft look. 

He took a deep breath. Slytherin ambition, right? He got what he wanted, and you were what he wanted. He reached over, gently using your chin to turn your head. He leaned in and pressed his lips on yours. You froze. You wanted to gasp, maybe pull away in surprise, but you were completely frozen. 

When he pulled away, he whispered, “I would like it to change, but not in the way you’re implying.”

“Oh,” you breathed. It’s all you could do. 

Theodore Nott had just kissed you. In your clearing. Someone, who before this summer, you never would’ve imagined being in your clearing. Someone, who before this summer, you never would’ve imagined kissing, let alone not hating it. 

“So… erm, what do you say?” he asked after you hadn’t said anything more, nor had you moved. 

“Um, one sec…” You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.

Soft. Sweet. Gentle. His hand moved to hold your cheek until you pulled back.

“I think I’d like that.”

You and Theo wore matching smiles. You were going to have a lot of explaining to do when you got to school. 

tags: @navs-bhat

[whassupp]

The real side of - Lilith through the signs and houses 🌙🐍🔪 (asteroid 1181) *house 7-12*

Lilith in Libra or 7th house

People always comment on your looks. How you look is what makes them jealous of you also the main topic of jealousy in this sign is relationships. People will try to ruin your romantic relationships set your partner that he cheated on you, they can even set you up. Be aware of that. Your closest friends may be your enemies and stab your back. Don’t trust your friends so much. You are prone to attracting jealousy from that. Big Issues with relationships. You may struggle to find a partner. Be aware of toxic partners, you attract them.

Lilith in Scorpio or 8th house

A very dark placement for Lilith. Struggling with the thought of death. You may have experienced many losses in your life. You experience lots of transformations trough them. Sexual violence is common with this placement so you may have experienced that kind of abuse. You hide your true from the world and your feelings also. My advice is to try not to hide yourself and express feelings to someone you trust. People are jealous of your character and mysterious side.

Lilith in Sagittarius or 9th house

This Lilith is so underrated. Although it’s not as intense, it has its meaning. People with this placement struggle with school, teachers college any form of learning school. They may have experienced being left out by the professors and them not treating you equally like the others. You attract violence in a place where you are being educated. Be aware of professors that act like pedophile, they will stalk you and can even get obsessed with you. People jealous of your knowledge and your ability to find out everything. People assume you know everything about them. Trouble with grades, getting less than you deserve.

Lilith in Capricorn or 10th house

While virgos attract stalkers from their co workers you attract stalkers from authoritative figures. Like your boss manager etc.. You attract attention easily and can gain success. Butt since you have Lilith here the success won’t go as planned. You will be praised for something you are bad at. People will always try to bring you down even if you have good reputation. Bad rumors may be gossiped about you. Even false rumors. People are jealous of your success. You attract violence in your job so be careful.

Lilith in Aquarius or 11th house

Your thoughts are all over the place. You are afraid to make new friends and don’t want to talk to strangers. The friends you have may be backstabbers and liars. Prone to attracting hate online. People hate commenting on your posts or sending you hate messages. People may even create a fake account of you and even post fake nude pictures of you. Be aware. You attract a lot of gossip. Friends are most likely talking behind your back. Overall issues and dramas involving friends and the internet.

Lilith in Pisces or 12th house

Very dark placement. May have issues with having children or longterm partners. Prone to heavy addictions involving drugs, alcohol, gambling. You take it way too far when doing something illegal. Mentally not stable. You may have experienced losses in your life that got you into an addiction. May suffer from mental illness. You want to escape from reality and i don’t know why(tell me in the comments) that’s why you do drugs, smoke weed in order to escape. You have secret enemies watching your every step be careful of who you trust. The enemies will come when you least expect them. The only violence you are experiencing is with yourself.

‘Important- if these observations don’t apply to you then lilith isn’t a prominent planet in your chart.

Prominent lilith:

Lilith making strong aspects with personal planets(sun,moon,mercury,venus,mars,asc,mc)

Lilith in the 1st, 8th house

[kingghoost]

Quickly analyzing a one-off line from The Optiratch Argument™ because I'm bored

We all know that The Argument™ was mainly about Ratchet's frustrations with Optimus' "cowardice" (BIG quotation marks) but one of Ratchet's lines really stuck with me:

"Oh- and let me guess, I'm just the medic." (TFP S1E22)

Typically when people are angry, they don't vent about just one thing. Though he was talking back to what Optimus said about the Vehicon being a miner and not a warrior, that comment seemed completely irrelevant to the argument's main topic (at least in my point of view)

One big (yet hidden) flaw in Ratchet is his lack of self confidence. His job is to cure the sick and injured, yet he never really seems to realize the value he has on his team. He truly is great at what he does - and he goes above and beyond to be of service (medic, scientist, sort of engineer... that's impressive!) Despite all this, the fact that he is the only non-fighter really seems to eat at him. His main whereabouts most of the time being in the base makes it worse paired with the fact that he seems to be the most eager to jump and "get things done." Their numbers are already small, so he feels that anything he could do isn't enough to overthrow an entire military.

By saying "Just the medic," it implies that he determines his self worth by his rank. In his eyes, he is "just" the medic. Not a great warrior that overpowers the enemy and saves his comrades, but a doctor forced to sit by and wait for his teammates to return with fresh new injuries, dead or alive.

"-Help us, we know. But you nearly caused the loss of something.. Irreplaceable. Our medic, and our most trusted friend." (TFP S1E22)

Now Optimus, on the other hand, does acknowledge what Ratchet has to give to the team, most importantly Ratchet's worth as an individual. He knows what lengths Ratchet goes to save his comrades (and, most of the time, himself) from the brink of death, he knows what a genius his old friend is for being able to conduct such intricate research with limited supplies - Hell, he knows that Ratchet built some of those supplies himself.

Learning about how Ratchet thinks so lowly of himself must've been shocking, to witness the one closest to you feel the need to experiment on himself with untested material in the hopes of being "useful" ... I think it broke Optimus' heart a little, not to mention how he was already hurt by Ratchet's rant.

Though the episode ended with things working out in the end, I really like the idea of The Argument™ making a huge mess out of both of them. At that moment they were fine and made up, but what they said/learned about each other that day will never quite leave them.

[ilariyalavorowrites]

Bright Lights

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, post-divorce healing, Pitt Fest is a warning of its own, medical inaccuracies.

Pairings: Michael Robinavitch x Reader

Word count:  2.5k

Universe: The Pitt

Reader gender: Female

Tagged: @questionably-intelligent69 , @dizzybee03 , @virgomillie , @mrsjosephmazzello , @sus-styles , @moonshooter , @hagarsays @that-sarcastic-writer

Part 1 of 4

Next

Pitt Fest was far from where you had expected to be, with your Rig parked up just behind the Medical Tent that you, Frankie, several other untrained volunteers and additional off-duty health care workers manned in a six hours on then two hours off. This was one of the many such stations dotted around the festival's grounds, yet still, you had ended up at the one closest to the main stage.

Your House, Station 42, had quickly signed up for this opportunity, alongside a few others dotted about the district, when the call went out across the airwaves. Reyes and Smith had been selected, only to pull out at the eleventh hour. This left the spot open; Frankie swiftly volunteered the two of you. She almost tripped over her feet as she darted towards Captain Valentino’s office. 

The additional pay bump was definitely a helpful incentive, but Frankie’s overly keen desire to attend in some capacity had won out. At least your day would be wildly different from the standard shift. Your mind would be occupied, forgetting about him for one day. It could be the jumping-off point you needed to finally move forward with your life and let go of any nagging residual feelings. As you checked over the supplies in the back of your Rig one last time, making sure you were full stocked for whatever this day might bring. You relaxed, maybe you would enjoy this after all, as there were allocated slots for you and Frankie to explore, eat and enjoy all of what made up Pitt Fest. 

Placing your clipboard down, you climbed out of the back of the Ambulance before slamming the doors shut. “Frankie, all the checks are done,” you called out to your partner.

“Excellent, let’s get this show on the road!”  ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 5pm Pitt Fest

The morning flew by in a blink of an eye. You had handed out more than a few dozen water bottles to a fair few people, some more noticeably stoned than others. The first aid that you had delivered had been for minor scrapes, bruises and the most noticeable had been heat exhaustion. Thankfully, they had good friends with the forethought to bring them to the medical tent as soon as they had noticed that they were flagging.

Their patient would recover; they were out of the sun, shaded by the tent, drinking fluids whilst being cooled by one of the portable fans. “I’ve retaken the temp,” Frankie said, as she stepped up beside you. “37.4, looks like they will avoid a trip to the ER this time”

“Hopefully, this will be enough of an experience,” You replied, as that had been you once upon a time. You had been that overconfident, only to later suffer the consequences hours later down the line. There had been a fair few college night outs where your adolescence brain thought it knew best. The hangovers the next morning told a completely different story.

You couldn’t help but silently chuckle at the memories of who you had once been. When you had finally decided on what you wanted to do with the rest of your life, it was then you had needed to grow up. You never once regretted the choice. Helping the injured and the sick was more of a calling than just a job. A few opportunities arose along the way, including one that was abruptly ended. Namely, your failed marriage to one Dr Michael Robinavitch.

The one bright spark that had come out of it was Jake. Your ex-husband’s sort of stepson. Robby and Jake’s mother Janey had never quite made it to the altar, but he was still involved in Jake’s life when the two of you dated what felt like many moons ago. Jake had been a small kid when you first started coming round, yet his devilishly cheeky smile and infectious bubbly nature bowled you over. So when your marriage broke down, it was hard to even consider not having him in your life. It felt wrong to abandon the connection that had built up with both him and his mother.

Janey had become a good friend along the way, ultimately; you had decided that you would keep them in your life. The text messages, phone calls, and weekly lunches continued. You had built a life outside the broken shards of your marriage. They were part of the family you had chosen. You could not help but smile as you thought over the moments that you might have missed if you had chosen to push them away and out of your life. It was one of the few decisions you’d never regret making. 

Marrying Michael was another. He had been a bright spark in the sea of countless bad dates. You had been the one to venture across the thin line where friendship and romance met. Yet, he had been the one to silence the whispers, choosing to kiss you publicly in the middle of the department. That sent the gossip train in overdrive as they each took turns not so subtly places bets. Was this a midlife crisis in slow motion unfolding for all the world to see? How serious was it, actually? Was it going to last longer than his last relationship? Or would you grow tired of your older man as he continued to come home a little more broken, a little more given up in the aid of others.

The post-it notes went up with varying predicts but as the days rolled into months and the first anniversary came and went. Soon, the tone started to shift and change. The odds of you walking away from him faded away, leaving room for the possibility of him proposing or you getting pregnant. It was hard not to laugh each time that you walked through the ambulance bay doors as you passed the security office window with the cork board in plain sight.

Frankie and your other colleagues had started their own game, placing bets on what the latest and most ridiculous and wildest speculation would come from this shift. There were a few rotating favourites that were simply produce of individuals have too much time on their hands. Such a wild notion that either you or Michael would invite Dr Jack Abbott to join in your relationship. You had gotten some good laughs from it.

It had never crossed your mind until you had seen that neon yellow post-it, but it was an avenue that would remain unexplored. A few late nights followed some nightmare shifts; drinks flowed and what happened next, well, that you’d never say. That would stay between you, Jack and Robby. This way, no one could weaponize it, or use it as an excuse to uncover why the marriage had failed. Communication lay at the heart of it; both you had been to blame.

As he had steadily closed more of himself off, you had not been quick enough to seize the opportunities to reach him. By the time you had pushed to make him see you, it was too late. Michael Robinavitch had slammed the door firmly shut. There had been no way back.

As you lifted your gaze up, only to find a familiar and welcomed sight mere feet away. “Jake!” You called out before you crossed the short distance, making your way over to where he was hovering at the edge of the tent. Your warm smile deepened, but quickly you remembered that in his latest message, Jake had mentioned that Robby would be with him. Dread bubbled up from within; this was going to be awkward.

A figure strides into place, slipping a hand into Jake’s, beaming from ear to ear; this was not Robby. Long dirty locks framing her soft features; maybe this was the infamous Leah that he had been casually dropping into conversations over the last several weeks. For a few moments, you all stood there in silence, waiting for someone to speak. It was far too hot to be needing your standard issue jacket, which thankfully you’d left in the Ambulance. This wasn’t what you had expected; all that fear at having to try to navigate through small talk with Michael faded away.

How do you know each other?” Leah said, as the breath that you didn’t know you were holding rushed out, leaving space for Jake to jump in. “Yes, this is my mum’s friend,” Jake answered; that was one way to be introduced, better without adding in the Ex-wife label into the mix, over complicating an already complicated situation. It was refreshing to escape being viewed through that broken lens. “This is Leah, my friend…girlfriend” You watched as Leah playfully jabbed at him after he said friend, only to swiftly correct himself.

You smiled, offering a hand out to her. She seemed like a sweet kid, from what you could gather from this brief encounter, but Jake was over the moon, floating on cloud nine as he stood beside her. You could remember when Robby looked you like Jake looked at Leah. With pure affection, joy and contentment just from being together. It warmed your heart to see him happy. Leah didn’t leave you hanging, shaking your hand. Mirroring the sentiment, you responded, “Nice to meet you as well.”

“Oh, so you’re the person Jake always mentions.” You blinked, not expecting that; he talks about you? A warm feeling bubbled up from within. That maternal love that you once you would never embrace, yet Robby had brought that into your life. The opportunity to embark on that journey from the beginning may soon disappear. Not that hadn’t chances that had burnt out before truly beginning; Michael did not know. He had not been by your side then, Jake and Janey had. 

You would count on one hand the ones you trusted with that secret. Could the stress from the divorce tipped your body over the edge? Possibly, but you’d never really an answer to what caused the miscarriage. Yet, that was not an avenue you would venture down right here and now.

 “All good” Hearing this, a smile spread across your face, the image of the kind young man he’d become filling your mind. You briefly met his gaze, realizing he’d been observing the interaction. Your smile widened, knowing the countless questions racing through Jake’s mind in a split second. You dared to tease him.

“Did you know that Jake  wanted to be a paramedic when he was younger, that or an astronaut.” You said in jest, knowing exactly how he would react. “Driving the wee woo and patching up the boo boos” You could see the redness in his cheeks in response to your words. He was trying to play it off, but Leah beat to him to the punch.

“It’s so cool that you have a doctor and paramedic in your life; I bet you get to hear the best stories;” This girl was a gift. The mere mention of Robby brings you back down; Leah was unaware of your connection to her boyfriend’s sort of step dad. Her words were untainted by malicious intent; there was an innocence wrapped around each syllable. A curiosity to know the family that Jake had, both by blood and by choice.

‘Just keep smiling, just keep smiling. Don’t break’ This has been your mantra for far too long, for each moment that his name had arisen in conversation, when remembering the good times and the funny stories where had a starring role. The pain persisted, even a year and a half after your divorce became official. It was almost two years since you had spent more than a few minutes together in the same room. 

It had to make a choice, the same one that had you kept you barely held together, by the thinnest of threads as you pulled yourself up and out of your thoughts. It had only been a fraction of a minute, a few seconds at best. Not long enough for anyone to notice that anything was wrong; you had played this hand one too many times; it had become almost like a second nature. A poor excuse for a coping mechanism, but it would do.

“You two should be off enjoying yourselves, not hanging around here unless you need anything?” You gave them a gentle push, hoping they’d go and enjoy themselves. To see, hear, and experience and make memories that they’d look back on fondly. You had been passively glancing around the tent to ensure that you hadn’t missed any new medical emergency, no matter how minor. Nothing had come through, just a few more water bottles had been passed out.

“No, we’re all good. We’re on the way to the main stage,” You nodded, listening. The band that was billed to perform next hadn’t been one that you had heard of. They were an up-and-coming act that Jake had recently discovered. You could hear the excitement as he spoke. “Good, take some water but if you need anything you know where to find me,” You replied as Frankie slid up beside you. “We’ve got a new patient” You nodded, turning back to Jake and Leah. 

“I’ll text you later Jake, Leah it was great to meet you” You said before following Frankie over to where the injured patient sat uncomfortably on a plastic chair. You smiled over your shoulder, watching as the two teenagers departed. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------5:45 pm Pitt Fest

Frankie stood on the edge of the tent, ready for her next break. She had let her friend head off first and get something to eat at that one vendor that they both had spotted on their way in. The mouthwatering aroma still lingered in her mind, her stomach growling in response to the mere memory. She was more than ready to explore all that Pitt Fest had to offer up.

Yet the series of loud popping drew Frankie back out of her thoughts; had someone just set off firecrackers this close to the main stage? If so, that was thoughtlessly reckless; there would be burns heading over shortly. Mixing alcohol and anything that even the smallest of explosive was a bad idea. The popping stopped, but bone chilling screams followed, drowning out the pulsating flow of music.

This wasn’t what she had initially concluded as another round of popping, louder and closer than before. It took a few seconds to register what was going on, as her radio sparked into life. Through the crackles of the airway, SHOTS FIRED came through as clear as day. This repeated a few times to make sure that everyone received the message.

‘Fuck,’ Frankie muttered, as she grabbed the nearest first aid kit before rushing off into the panicked crowd. In this moment, she wasn’t thinking of herself, she was thinking about the safety of the public, of her friend who had wandered unknowingly in danger.

This wasn’t how today was meant to go; far from it.

---------------------------- If anyone wishes to tagged in any of the Pitt x Reader content, please reply or message me

[everythingmp3]

being farmer!Van’s younger lover - headcanons 𐙚 🌾

I couldnt get the idea of her as a farmer out of my head, so here are all the thoughts I had while imagining, mostly what she’d be like with a lover! I dont know much about the actual life of a farmer, so I kept her activities rather vague, it’s more about the vibe and the fantasy of it all, you get the idea <3 hope u enjoy

warnings: the second half of this is nsfw! some very brief mentions of substance abuse/addiction

her backstory:

(feel free to skip this intro if you just want the main plot)

she moved to NYC after high school, broke, not in college, unsure what to do but too stubborn to give up on her dream to live in the city she had idealized since she childhood, so she fought and bled for her right to stay, worked many bone-crushing jobs, got into friend groups with people who were also just trying to survive, which worked out in her favor for a while, but. eventually she got into the wrong kind of drugs and fell off, partying instead of working, getting fired from one job after the other, barely scraping by, somehow cheating her way out of ruin again and again, sleeping on friends couches, until she was in her mid-twenties and couldnt take it anymore, physically, spiritually, so she and her girl at the time packed their things and moved the country-side in the south, dreaming of a quiet, normal, mundane life, hoping and praying for some respite

at first, they managed, but the relationship was crumbling due to Vans refusal to address her substance abuse issues and her overall disregard for her health, her hermit lifestyle of only going to work so she could come back home and crash, so eventually they broke up, dramatically so, her ex screaming at her that she had to get her shit together or she’d die before hitting 30, which did wake her up - it hurt like hell but she knew it was true - Van was tired of everything, people, cities, even small towns, she didnt wanna see or talk to anyone, so she looked for jobs that would allow her to shut down and be quiet, which she found: an older couple, in their 50s, was looking for help at their farm nearby, in exchange for a spare room, so it was settled: she packed a few things and showed up at their door ready to leave her entire life behind and just be a pair of helping hands

she got lucky. the man and woman who ran the farm - which would be hers one day - immediately showed her a parental kind of tough love when they realized how desperately Van needed help and guidance, they didnt make her talk about it, but they could tell that she was recovering from some heavy shit, so they gave her a very clear schedule and made her stick to it, even when she was tired or grumpy, they gave her clear instructions and made her work with the animals a lot because they knew the effect that kind of contact can have on a suffering person

sure enough, Van blossomed after an initial period of disciplining her body, eating better, and growing stronger each day, it took a good amount of sweat and tears to settle in, but after a few weeks she adjusted and found out that she was much better at physical labor than she´d assumed, her stubborn streak came in handy, she pushed and pushed herself until the tasks came more easily to her. she also went to AA meetings in the area on and off, whenever she felt like she needed some extra help to stay sober

once the couple both neared their mid 60s, they were so close to Van that leaving the farm in her hands only felt natural, they didnt have any children of their own, so she was the closest thing to a daughter they ever got and trusted her to take care of their beloved spot of land well and to eventually leave it to someone else whod keep that tradition up as well (at first she felt unworthy, incapable, but they convinced her and urged her to do whatever she pleased with her little spot in the world, expressing how grateful they were for the years shed spent with them, having given them a chance to feel like someones parents later in life)

Van decided to work with groups that use animal therapy to help people who are in a tough spot in one way or another, people in rehab or people who deal with either mental or physical pain that might be eased for while by having close contact to horses - she knows first-hand what caring for animals can do for a person who is struggling with self-worth, shame, or chronic pain, so she always makes a point of inviting those groups to her farm, making it a safe haven in a way, she also lets riding instructors teach their classes there

she makes money by letting people keep their horses in the stables, taking care of them, so people can come by whenever they want to ride them, she also sells some of her produce to surrounding farmers markets, its not a ton of money but more than enough to get by and live a comfortable life

how you started dating

your college town is near her farm and you decided to stay there during summer because the season is beautiful out there and its enough for you to back to your hometown for a few weeks during August before the next semester starts

one day you were a bit reckless and walked out further beyond the town limits than you usually did because the weather was so nice and you wanted to see some some pretty fields, but you underestimated the heat and had to take a break somewhere because you were afraid you might pass out and couldnt just turn around and walk all the way back

the tree you decided to take shelter under for a moment was right at the entrance of Vans farm and she come out to check on you because she saw you sitting there in the midday heat and got worried that something was wrong or that someone might have ditched you by the side of the road, since she wasnt used to having strangers wandering around out there

you were a bit embarrassed at first when she she said "hey there, you okay?" but you she was sweet from the get-go, joking around a bit, asking you what on earth made you come out there in that intense weather, gently chastising you for your lack of drinks and snacks, she ended up urging you to come inside and rest and cool down, to eat and drink something so you could regain your strength before going back home

you got along immediately, it took less than a few minutes for you to talk about anything and everything as she prepared some iced coffee, iced tea, and fresh blueberry pancakes for you - you told her again and again that she was being way too nice but Van insisted and told you that she spent more than enough time on her own, so once you werent hungry or thirsty anymore and seemed more lively again, she gave you a tour of and introduced you to her cats which was a sure way to get you to stay for longer (maybe that was calculated on her part)

after a while of you laughing and enjoying your time together, she offered to drive you back to your place and gave you a little pot of homemade jam to try as a parting gift, a raspberry vanilla mix that tasted divine and was your breakfast of choice for the coming days. as you said goodbye that night in the car parked outside your house she said "come by whenever you want, really, you dont even have to ring, just walk around to the porch and I will be around somewhere" which felt like flirting, not just southern hospitality, so you promised that you would take her up on it, your skin tingling where her arms rested when you said goodbye, her voice a bit strained when she told you goodbye, as if she was flustered from embracing someone that way, a sign that it had been a while maybe, a sudden rush of hope on your part that she wasnt seeing anyone, that you werent delusional to think that she might have been less friendly with strangers who didnt intrigue her, who werent as easy on the eyes to her..

she’d confess to you a while later that she didnt give you her number or asked for yours because she knew that shes a horrible texter and enjoyed the idea of being surprised by another visit by you, she also liked the vibe of leaving the ball entirely in your court, the fact that she had no way of reaching out to you and had to trust that you would keep your connection going (this same energy is palpable whenever she waits for you to come and touch her, she loves pushing your patience to make you initiate intimacy, even when its just a hug, thats her preferred way of teasing)

for the next few days you couldnt get her out of your head and kept clinging to the memory of how hot shed looked: dressed in a white tank-top and jeans that were cut off at the knee, working boots and white socks, her bronzed heavily freckles skin glowing in the midday sun, just like her wavy hair that seemed to burn like flames in that light, her cheeks and lips rosy from the heat, her voice raspy and low, her calves toned, just like her shoulders and arms... you remembered how your knees had touched when you sat outside on the steps together for a moment, how your fingers had brushed when shed handed you a glass, how shed looked at you while you ate the food shed made you, attentive, curious, and intense, like she was holding something back, the same way you had been. it was torture. you couldnt stop obsessing over every little look shed given you, everything shed said, reading into all of it until you were certain you werent just imagining the instant chemistry

after a few days of holding back, you couldnt wait any longer and went back to her place, and just as you stepped into her house it started thundering and pouring rain, which immediately made the atmosphere intimate and private as she lit some candles and put on all the warm orange tinted lamps to offer a contrast to the dark storm outside - you played it cool at first, but it was clear that you hadnt just come back for no reason, and the tension made both of you a little nervous at first, thrilled too though, pleased by the sense of "she feels the same way, doesnt she?"

one thing lead to another, some jokes at first, then more earnest words, you confessing "I thought of you a lot the past few days, you were so sweet to me" her brushing it off "basic decency" you caving and coming to sit next to her, a pleading look on your face, a bit of fear on hers, held breaths, beating hearts, soft eyes, you taking the leap, kissing her eagerly until she gently broke it and needed a second to breathe, to calm her burning nerves, so you told her to keep touching you, to just keep her hands on you, so she did, grabbing at you until she was ready to continue, dying to - a switch flipped in her when she felt you going slack in her embrace, sighing from the feel of her palms on your back, your arms, your face, a bruising kiss from her that quickly turned into more and more and until your clothes were scattered next to the couch and the rain kept clashing against the windows as you got lost in each other, kissing and touching and grinding up against each other, making each other come just from a few touches, using your burst of passion and intense sensitivity to each others presence to keep going and going, finally ending up in her bed, making out for ages, taking turns making each other moan and surrender

that night you slept over and the next morning you laughed about how cliché it was for her to invite you to move in for the summer before even having gone on a proper date, but! you couldnt have cared less, you were so overjoyed at the idea, both of you agreeing that it would be unnecessary to make you take the drive over to her place every day (she had no idea what got into her when she just straight up asked you if you wanted her to help you get some of your stuff so you could stay with her as long as you wanted because it had been so long since shed: a) had anything romantic going on b) had sex with someone and c) didnt shudder at the idea of sharing her space with a lover, quite the opposite, that first morning she woke up to the sight of you there in her bed, all peaceful and content and warm to the touch, she wondered how shed gone all those years without it

sfw

Van quickly comes to love the feeling of never knowing when she might turn a corner and see you laying in the sun on a blanket, in your bikini or underwear, tanning, or reading, or napping - she always stops in her tracks and takes a moment to just look at you while youre blissfully unaware, until the urge to touch takes over - unlike others, shed never think its funny to startle you by splashing water on you or taking your headphones off or anything, shes as gentle as possible, always, either lowering herself until she can press a soft kiss to your back, or picking a flower to lightly sweep over your arm <3 you usually pull her down onto the blanket and get all over her to keep her from walking away and continuing her work, which shes helpless against, shes never denied you, not once, always caving

loveees seeing you in her clothes! when you put a flannel of hers over your shoulders if it gets a bit chilly at night, or when you jokingly try on her working boots, she lets you steal whatever you want from her wardrobe and has a particular thing for seeing you in jeans of hers that are a bit too lose on you because theyre worn out, when you kneel down and she can see your underwear peeking out at the top... you wont stay in those jeans for too long, lets put it that way.

shes always been good about sun screen, its the one self-care aspect she never abandoned even during her worst times, but! she usually never splurged on the expensive kind, she used generic cheap sun screen until you started dating and you gave her some fancier kind, selfishly picking a scented one, a mix of vanilla and coconut because you knew it would mix very well with her sweat while working and the tabacco when she smokes - you also help her apply it, its ritual she came to cherish deeply, the way you carefully apply it not just on her face and arms but where she cant reach, always savoring the feeling of your palms massaging the creme into her back because she used to have to bend herself herself into a pretzel to apply it to her shoulder blades and the surrounding area (you dont care that it tastes bitter when you kiss her on her freshly lotioned nose <3)

when Ethel Cain said "he looks like he works with his hands and smells like Marlboro Reds" yeah thats her… the cigs are her little vice that she allows herself to keep, she doesn’t chain smoke, it’s more of a relaxation thing, usually not more than two a day, sometimes she also goes a while without any, and you dont convince her to quit because she looks too hot smoking 💘 you love those warm late nights where you sit on the porch together, your legs on her lap, her free hand massaging you as she stares off into the distance and smokes (you also got her nice lighter at the thrift store, gold with an etching of a pin-up model, it was more of a joke but she loves it)

for obvious reasons she much prefers cats over dogs and when you started dating one of her cats was heavily pregnant, so you ended up staying in the barn with her for an entire night when the cat gave birth to make sure it all went well, to see that the kittens were all healthy, and it made her fall for you even more, the care and adoration with which you handled the little babies and soothed the mother after she gave birth to all three of them, she also let you pick the names <3 you love to joke by saying "she’s stealing my spot" whenever one of the kittens crawls up onto her chest

Van always relies on her lovers to braid her hair! whenever shes single, she just accepts the fact that her hair wont be braided until someone does it for her again, she likes being incompetent that way, she mentioned it off-handedly that she cant braid her hair at her grown age, and you took the bait immediately, offering to style it any way she wants, a smug grin on her face when you first gently parted her hair into three even strands and gave her exactly what she wanted, that soothing feeling of having her love rake her fingers through her hair, her favorite part is when youre done fuss with her front pieces a bit to make it look more effortless and natural, shes pliant as hell, lets you do whatever you want (her mommy issues havent gone away, even in her forties it does make her blush when she sits between your legs and feels you tighten her braid the way a mother might)

speaking of hair: she doesnt trust hair dressers with her hair at all because shes way too scared that theyll take off too much or give her weird layers, so she usually did an okay job cutting her own split-ends, but you decided to buy actual hair-cutting scissors and looked up a few tutorials until you felt prepared enough and gave her a nice trim, taking about half an hour to really make sure all the strands flow nicely together, and she loves it, shes gone so long without getting her hair cut by someone else that it makes the whole thing feel super intimate - also, she loves that you picked up on the fact that her hair is the one and only aspect about her appearance where she embraces a kind of femininity, its her one point of true vanity, and you taking care of it fore her is very pleasing to Van as someone who knows that people usually focus on her more masculine traits when they call her hot, warms her heart that you take care of her hair like its your own :)

youll often cut up some fruit for her or bring her a bottle of cold water when shes been out in the soon for a little too long, its a simple thing but she remembers how it was to never have anyone do those little things for her, its special for her and makes the work feel a little easier on her not-super-young bones <3

she has a medium sized tattoo on her left hipbone that she got in her 20s and for the longest time she hated it because she didnt have enough money back then to get it done by an actually good artist, so the lines are kinda faded over time, but.. once you started dating, she realized how hot you think its looks, so she started using it to tease you, relentlessly, stretching her arms over her head on purpose so her shirt rides up and you can see the top of the tattoo peeking out above her waistband, more times than not youll get handsy with her and pay her back for tempting you (as if that wasnt her goal all along)

for a long time her polaroid camera just collected dust but one day she got the urge to take pictures of you around the farm, which started out innocent at first (you caressing the horses, laying in the sun, leaning against the fence, picking berries) but it quickly turned more and more erotic, you shed your clothes, she took some pics of you in your underwear, you convinced her to caress your face and put her thumb in your mouth while taking a picture of that, which got her good, so eventually you abandoned all shame and told her to get some milk so she could pour it in your open mouth and over your chest and take a picture of that, you in the grass.. kneeling... eyes closed.. mouth open.. milk dripping down your chin... shameless vulgarity, but so incredibly hot to her that she ended up putting the camera down and licking you clean. both of you laughing in the grass afterwards once you realized what you just did (she keeps a few of those pictures on her wallet, old fashioned romance is her thing sometimes)

she taught you how to properly ride a horse and definitely almost had a heart attack the first few times your horse picked up the pace, she always makes sure youre safe - you sometimes take the horses to a nearby forest and leisurely ride through it, slowly, chatting and laughing and holding hands whenever your horses are close enough to do that (you also fore sureee convince her to take you out on her horse sometimes, you love holding onto her waist and resting your head on her back)

her farm is so lush and rich in color during spring and early summer!💐 flowers of all kinds bloom all over the place, and before you were dating she never bothered to pick some of them for inside decor, felt kinda silly to her as the only one living in her house, she was never the type to play homemaker just for the sake of it, but you lovee picking little bouquets for her, you always take note of which flowers she points at and calls pretty, so next time you gather more of that kind, it became a sweet ritual for you to put little vases with all kinds of wildflowers around the house and she for sure dried the first bouquet you ever made for her and keeps it on her dresser or pressed in a book <3

one of your favorite things to do with her is to go out for a big dinner after shes been working hard all day! shell be starving by that time, so nothing feels better to her than sitting down at her favorite sandwich shop or restaurant or fast food chain and devouring a greasy salty comfort meal - I think she fucks with veggie burgers when theyre drenched in good sauce, pizza with a good amount of toppings, spicy too, I think shed dip everything in hot sauce, shed also love mexican food I think like a good burrito with a bunch of fresh ingredients and chips and salsa on the side, anything thats savory and mixes a bunch of textures! you dont do it too often because she does try to eat rather healthy but once or twice a week you both need it and cherish it, you will sit there for a while just eating and chatting and sharing a bunch of side dishes, people watching or gossiping, her giving you inside scoop when she sees a familiar face, making small talk here and there while referring to you as her "friend" even though nobodys naive enough to believe that thats all you are, still, she likes being coy about it

you realize that all the people who own her favorite spots know and love her, so they give her bigger servings and drinks on the house, which you benefit from as well ;)

if you have a difficult relationship with food or simply dont take good enough care of yourself diet wise, thats gonna be taken care of with her, always - Van prides herself on her harvest of fruits and veggies, the time and care she puts in them each season, she collects fresh eggs from her chickens, bakes her own bread, makes a beautiful summer salad that she perfected over the years with some strawberry slices and honey vinegar dressing and a bunch of different greens and cucumber to make it fresh and delicious, among other recipes that she makes you try and approve of - you eat wellll and healthy with her, and you take up baking because you wanna repay her for her cooking and know that she has a sweet tooth! she also keeps fresh home-made iced tea and a bunch of other beverages that you both enjoy in the fridge at all times when its hot and keeps reminding you to drink, you wont be dehydrated on her watch!

when she was younger it was a sign of luxury to her when she was over at a friends house and their family had Ben and Jerrys ice cream instead of the no-name brands, so as an adult she likes buying all those little things that used to seem expensive to her, and you two sometimes share a pot on particularly hot days, trying all the flavors and rating them, you kept a sheet with the scores, and its a thing she looks look forward to, going to the store and picking your flavor for the night <3 (she’s partial to anything with caramel and doesnt really care much for the ones that are heavy on the chocolate, prefers the creamy vanilla bases ones, she also always lets you scoop out the last few bites, whereas you let her have the first few spoonfuls (you also like to fuck with her by kissing her while you still have some ice cream in your mouth and transfer it onto her tongue with a sloppy kiss, she pretends its nasty but shes turned on by it, every time)

she likes to pretend shes a grumpy anti-tech country woman who hates all things pop culture but she does love that youre teaching her things here and there about whats going on, shes been so out of touch with everything that its fun for her to have someone there who gets a kick out of trying to explain a new slang term to her or a trend thats happening on social media or gossip about celebrities (you sometimes jokingly speak in a way that sounds obnoxious and like something a teenager on tiktok would say just to watch her give you a look of utter confusion and disbelief, like telling her that she has "rizz" when she says something smooth, laughing when she says "jesus christ do I even wanna know what that means...")

even though shes worked with animals for years and years it never got easier for her to watch any of them suffer, shes a huge softie! none of them are "just" animals to her, ever, doesnt matter if its a horse or a cow or a chicken or animals that arent "hers" but live around the farm like little mice or birds, she always feels her heart shatter when one of the animals gets sick or needs medicine or a visit from the vet, she keeps it together on the outside but youve consoled her a few times when she was scared that an animal might not make it or be in too much pain - she also still tears up whenever she talks about her cat who passed away five years ago, she still misses her sometimes and youre the first person shes shared that grief with bc she feels safe with you, its nice for her not to shed her tears in the dark by herself when shes scared of a possible loss or feels haunted by yelps that a sick animal made, you always reassure her that shes doing her best and that any animal would be lucky to end up there with her <3

loves to make you do little physical tasks with her so she can watch you struggle with something thats muscle memory for her, its very amusing to her when you get pissed off and start groaning and eventually give up and tell her to do it by herself because youre clearly too slow with it, shell say things like "come on, lets put those young bones to good use" and gesture at you to follow her and you always act like a petulant child even though you clearly love being bosses around by her and watching her be much better at whatever it is that youre doing together, sometimes youll just sit and blatantly stare at her while shes doing strenuous work so you can watch her break a sweat and jokingly cat-call her

she keeps to herself but she built strong connections with a good amount of people in the area over the years, so shes never truly isolated or unable to require help when she needs, people know they can count on her and that shes about as reliable as they come, so she often comes home with a basket of fresh peaches or a few bottles of freshly made syrup or coffee grounds because people like her and treat her like a daughter/sister/friend depending on how old they are (I like to think theres a mutual aid sentiment that she sticks to, shell give money where she can to those who need it because theyve also helped her out before)

on that note, she is usually way too stubborn to ask for support but if you get sick, she calls some people who can help her around the farm, so she has the time to tend to you and doesnt have to leave you alone in bed all day <3

you offer her massages whenever she seems a bit tense or worn out, sometimes youll just come up behind her and start massaging her neck and shell say "baby im okay really" at first, but then audibly gasp as you knead away some tension, melting under your touch and making little "hmm" sounds

she loves ending her day by sitting on the couch with you and watching a show or a film together while snuggling, she used to spend all of her nights alone, so the simple act of eating dinner together and then watching something with you is a luxury to her that she savors every time <3

you convince her to venture out a bit more than she usually did, so you end up taking little trips to more urban cities nearby (ones that are 1-3 hours away) and have fun days there, trying out cafes and restaurants, browsing through stores, getting some clothes (you know she likes brands like Carharrt and splurge on stuff here), getting drinks if you stay until nightfall, watching movies at the cinema, or just walking around and seeing where the day takes you

during the road trips you are in charge of the aux because her music is too depressing for summer days.. she has no idea how to curate a playlist thats lighthearted and fun, so she leaves it to you (I can see her enjoying it when you blast like an Oasis song that she remembers from her youth and make her sing along to it because you know damn well she remembers the lyrics)

also! you love to fuck with her by putting the most vulgar rap you can find on full volume, blasting lyrics that make her look at you in shock while asking “is this what you fucking listen to?? really?" only half-serious about it, you catch her smiling when shes imagining herself in the place of the guy saying out of pocket shit about his girl

you like to do the laundry because you never got to hang it up to dry in a beautiful spot of land like that before - it feels cinematic to you in a way when youre standing there clipping your shirts to the clothesline with the wind blowing in your hair and the horses nearby, but! Van does the laundry that has to be hand-washed, she likes the attentive act of getting out all the little stains in clothes that are too delicate for the washing machine, she has her tricks to get even the most annoying red sauce stains out, and she also has a thing for washing your underwear, something about washing her lovers intimate clothes is very romantic to her, so you let her do it even though you were a bit embarrassed about it at first

regardless of your usual style you started dressing a bit more "country" to fit her vibe and it’s hot to her - she likes when you thrift stuff like white linen dresses or shorts, cowboy boots, belts with bigger brass buckles, you always ask her for her opinion and maybe drag her to the store with you so she can decide what you try out next (she’d make you get a skimpy bikini for lake days, for sure, you’d be like "this is too much...." and she’d just say "not in my eyes" and buy it for you)

loveees to share all of her knowledge with you but in a teasing way, she likes to play teacher and make you memorize the names of plants and flowers, so she can randomly point at one and ask "whats that one called again, hm?" fully aware that you forgot, repeating it to you and asking again the next day, which makes you shove her and roll your eyes but shell press for an answer like "I didnt hear you baby"

you introduce her to the app that can identify all kinds of bird calls and she gets over her skepticism really fast and becomes obsessed with it, whenever youre in the forest by the lake or just out in nature and she hears an unfamiliar call she gets so thrilled when the app shows her a picture of the bird shes hearing, and she definitely makes you remember the names of her favorite birds and gets offended when you forget them, drilling you like a teacher until theyre seared into your brain

she knows from her own experience that the best way to beat a depressive mood is to get outside and find something to do, so whenever she can tell that youre feeling a bit off or blue she makes you follow her somewhere so she can try and cheer you up :) one afternoon when you were kinda sad she took you cherry-picking and lifted you up on her shoulders so you could reach all the cherries further up and your mood switched completely without you even being conscious of it, she’s great at coaxing joy out of you whenever you need it

in general you felt your nervous system recover from any stress you mightve dealt with before during those days where your senses were never overstimulated by too much noise or too many people around or a lack of access to fresh air and pretty nature, she never outright said it but she definitely kept her eye on you and made sure you felt better than you did when shed first met you, even just sitting in the grass and feeling the earth beneath you and hearing the natural noise of the farm for a few minutes often helps you unwind and relax 🕊️

you know from what she told you about her past that she never got to be carefree as a kid/teenager, that she had to grow up way too fast, so you make her do little things with you that girls might do at sleepovers, like putting on face masks or playing online games or buying little arts and crafts kits to make each other keychains and! you convince her to get one of the mystery boxes with little figurines in them like those sylvanian family animals, which you end up keeping on the windows isle, adding to them whenever you indulge in the frivolous joy of ripping open a package without knowing which little creature youll get (shes the type to put on a poker-face or make sarcastic remarks during the whole thing to disguise how much fun shes actually having)

master of home remedies! whether its a rash or a burn or a cut, she knows exactly what salve or creme to apply, she has a bunch of teas for any kind of ailment, stomach pain, period cramps, headaches, she knows how to dress any kind of wound (because shes had to patch herself up, many times) so any kind of pain youre in, shes gonna do her very best to relieve you of it (not just by giving you head, although thats always worth a try, to her)

shes somehow alwaaays chewing on something, either gum, or tooth picks, or even just random pieces of grass (which you make fun of her for, lovingly) its pretty rare that she goes a whole day without reaching for something to mindlessly chew on (one time you offered her your finger and said "if you need to always have something in your mouth... here" and she swatted your hand away and told you off but the blush on her face betrayed her because she does love to have your fingers in her mouth, she cant help it)

loves to kiss you on your hands/knuckles, the chivalrous feel of it, the devotion, its just a go-to move for her and you never ever tire of it or lose those butterflies you felt the first time she did it

her other favorite places to kiss on your body while youre not undressed are your cheeks and your shoulders!

sometimes she worries that youll get bored of spending all your days out there with her so she makes it clear that shed drive you to a friends place and be fine with it if you needed a few a days away (blatant lie, she wouldnt be fine) but you make it clear that youre not interesting in going anywhere, unless its together with her! you love your new routine of having time to yourself in the house or outside until shes done working and you spend the rest of the day together

she might be sober but she’ll gladly make you a nice cocktail or buy you a drink every once in a while because she thinks its very cute when youre tipsy and get even more touchy-feely and affectionate with her than usual

you like to spoil her by giving her hands some love, she uses them so much that she needs to use very moisturizing thick cremes and youll take some of that and massage her hand and and really make sure it seeps into her skin, sometimes shell just lay in bed at night and let you work away at her hands as she almost dozes off from how good it feels <3

nsfw

one might think she has less energy when shes been working hard all day but its actually the opposite, whenever shes breathing heavy and sweating and her blood is rushing from the strain of the heat combined with her physical work, she is so easily turned on by the sight of you, its primal in way, so sometimes when she comes inside all dirty and sweaty and flushed you can tell just from the look she gives you that youre about to be ruined (she will drag you to bed, tear your clothes off and lick and kiss and bite you all over, she gets so into it so fast that all you can do is lay back and make pretty sounds for her as she gets all the pent up energy out of her system, which is a new pleasure for her, the pleasure after-work sex)

shes a very even mix of gentle and aggressive! even though shes much stronger than you, she doesnt get off on the idea of domination, it turns her on way more to think that she is your protector when you when youre having sex, while youre in your most vulnerable state, it turns her on to know that she can hold you in a way that makes you feel weak and eager to sink deeply into that weakness, always gripping you and handling you with a firmness that feels caring and loving no matter how nasty the sex is (she could be in the middle of losing her mind while deep inside you but shed never let that lust and hunger turn her careless or too harsh, you know youll never feel used with her, no matter how hard you fuck, its always tinged with tenderness)

shes strong. very strong….shes been handling animals who weigh much more than the average human for years and when you first started dating you definitely felt a rush when she first grabbed you and you felt the sheer strength of her, it drove you crazyyy to feel how easy it was for her to pull you onto her lap or flip you over or carry you around 😵‍💫

at first, she held back, but when you told her that you trust her and want her to really make you feel how strong she is, she started to get into it during sex, holding you in place or wrapping her arms around you so tight and firm that you mightve just come from that sensation alone... she has stamina that never runs out and prides herself on it, but! when youre giving... its over. doesnt matter how physically strong she is, how firm her muscles are, shes so sensitive to your touch that all of her strength melts away that moment your touch your tongue to her or feel her up or fuck her, shes definitely less composed when youre inside of her than you are when shes in you, she whines and moans so intensely...

shes for sureee big into overstimulation, shes an eager giver when she tops, through and through, so she’ll keep going and going until youre shaking and sweating through the sheets, never in a way that’s punishing, always kissing and caressing you all the way through, whispering sweet things as you come for the fourth or fifth time and eventually tap out, laying on top of her, both of you drenched head to toe but so satisfied, so in love, dozing off until an hour later when you clean up and devour some good food together <3

her sex-drive is prettyyy high but its a consistent thing so she’ more of a "whenever youre down, im down, just tell me" type of person, whereas your bursts of desire are more intense and out of the blue, youre more needy and desperate with it, which works out well because sometimes shell just sit back and wait for you to come onto her, aware that it hardly ever takes long for you to get gripped by a feeling of "i need her now or ill die"

will take risks when it comes to having sex outside, any time, its her property, her land, so she will use it as she sees fit, which includes having you wherever and whenever you two feel like it - it’s rare that youre actually in danger of having someone walk up and see you, but it’s definitely happened once or twice that you lost track of time while messing around in the stables and someone quickly turned back around while coughing loudly to signal to you "wrap it up, people are coming", which always makes her feel kind of smug, the fact that people know damn well how lucky she is, having a girl like you to pull into a stack of hay, savoring the sweet dusty smell of the surroundings mixed with the taste of you while she hikes up your dress or pulls down your shorts and gives you head right there <3

it was a huge fantasy of hers, to have a lover that way, so sometimes you leave the stables with visible prints on your ass and thighs where they hay dug in, picking it off your clothes with her help, shaky legs as you leave her to deal with the people who came to ride their horses, a smile from her when she sees you struggling to walk straight as you go inside to freshen up (or jerk off, to finish what she started, telling her about it afterwards to make her get off to the idea of you in her bed touching yourself while she was outside being all professional..)

she can never ever get enough of seeing you on top of her!!whether it’s you riding her fingers or her strap, grinding down against her thigh, she doesn’t care how, all she wants is to see you lose yourself on her, she’s obsessed... 🫠

also, when shes the one fucking you, you both love using the furniture.. you bent over the kitchen table, one leg propped up on a chair so she has good access, her chest flush against your back, her kissing your neck as she holds you with her arm around your waist and gives to you from the back.. fucking you like that until she turns you back around to have you lay back and relax on the table as she finishes you off, really making use of the steady wooden table when youre squirming and losing it..

early morning sex 💘 she usually wakes up naturally around between 5 and 6 am because as a farmer her days always start pretty early and she loves when you stir and smile at her, still half-asleep and and all cozy and soft, it makes her wanna spoil you, so you often wake up to her gently moving your blanket away, so she can caress you and kiss your body and give you head, nothing too overwhelming, but enough to give you the kind of orgasm that makes you fall right back asleep all satisfied and limp and dazed from the feeling of being half-lucid half-dreaming while she ate you out

youll sleep for two more hours or so while she already gets to work, until you get up and prepare some coffee for her, so she usually takes her first break around 9am and has breakfast with you! you sometimes like to repay her for the way she woke you up by getting on your knees in front of her chair and taste her until she cant take it anymore and gets back up to continue her work, a bit scared she might mishandle a tool with the fresh memory of you looking up at her with a slick chin making her all weak and dizzy..

spit. shes more filthy than she is kinky, give her some intense loving passionate sex with a lot of spit involved and shes over the moon, loves when you spit in her mouth and then kiss her afterwards, when you lick over her chest or neck and leave a glistening trail where your tongue traveled up, when you suck on her fingers to lube them up before she fingers you or jerks you off, when you give her strap sloppy head before taking it all the way in with ease because youre so turned on and it is so wet with your saliva, loves when you let your spit drool onto her cunt before you eat her out 💞

very into sensuality in general, she could spend hours just lazily playing with your pussy and feeling you get wetter and wetter without ever getting bored, she loves to just feel you, having you sit comfortably as she switches between rubbing your clit, your whole outside area, teasing your entrance, and fingering you, shes in love with your cunt and wont ever turn down the chance to just hear you whimper and whine as you relax with your legs spread while she watches your pussy swell and get wet and take her fingers - will coo at you and kiss you wherever she can reach as she tells you how good you feel, will keep it up for as long as you want and you love those moments when you dont feel pressured to orgasm because she loves touching you just for the sake of it, not to get an ego-boost from making you cum (even though she always does, youre too in love with her not to drench her fingers when shes teasing you like that and whispering in your ear)

if you squirt... yeah shes licking it all up and doing exactly what she did before to try and make it happen again, as I said shes filthyyy 😵‍💫 would get so turned on from the sight of you ruining her sheets, would shush you if you apologized and insist that you never ever hold back even if it means she has to do laundry more than usual

her tits are a weak spot, super sensitive </3 her nipples will get hard if the wind blows a little too strong... and before dating you she kinda ignored her chest for the most part but with you she rediscovered the thrill of having her tits sucked while being pleased, sometimes you’ll randomly push her onto the couch and lift up her shirt to kiss her chest just to hear her moan for a few seconds, a little treat for yourself (and her) during the day

vocal. so fucking vocal. she can never ever keep quiet and you only go harder whenever you can tell that shes trying to stifle the sounds, you want them all out in the open, and it usually takes very little time for her to lose her composure which she gets embarrassed by for sure, once the orgasm subsides shes like oh... great. I sounded like ive never had sex in my life. yet again. perfect. but you loveee it, its so hot to you that this woman who is usually perceived as tough and strong and reserved is such a mess in bed

shes spent many years with her beloved truck and for the longest time she had fantasies about fucking in there, which came true once you started dating <3 you love straddling her in her seat when youre parked somewhere secluded, or when you come home from a late night drive, youve definitely fucked in the backseat a few times when she drove you out to a lake or a nice spot where nobody else was around, you both get a thrill out of it, the leather seats, the semi-public feel of it all, the risk factor, the way the car kinda smells like sex when you drive home afterwards (you also love to gawk at her when shes fixing the truck, makes her take her sweet time with it)

loves pillow talk and savoring the post-sex glow, its something she never rushes or skips, shes will move you onto her chest and caress your back or let you lay where you are and kiss your body, eventually resting her head on your stomach so you can stroke her hair, or youll just wrap your arms around each other and stay like that for a while

that post on here thats like "dont shave your bush I will kill myself" thats something she might actually say bc she is for sure soo into bush its one of the most erotic things to her, everything about it, she loves when it tickles her nose, loves the soft feel of it when she puts her hands in your underwear to jerk you off, loves the look of it when you get dressed and your underwear is see-through enough for your bush to peek through, hottt as hell to her

if youre the type to wear lingerie, she’d be very into it, never takes it for granted - one of the hottest things ever to her is when her girl wears clothes that are not what you’d consider fancy or special while wearing the most beautiful, delicate underwear, the contrast kills her every time, the sight of a nice lacy bra peeking out of a tank top that you stole from her... phewww shes on her knees. immediately. same thing with panties, she always interrupts you when youre getting dressed to admire you when youre wearing nothing but a pair of lacy underwear, also loves when you wear regular comfortable cotton underwear, the sight of it wedged between your cheeks somehow makes her wanna take a chunk out of your ass every time.. also loves you in her boxers. everything really, shes a lover of whatever you have going on beneath your clothes <3

face sitting. being the giver in a submissive way is so deeply satisfying for her, so shell often just ask you to ride her face, you might be lying in bed in the afternoon just relaxing kissing a little and shell straight up ask if you want to use her face for a bit, shell happily lay back and use her strength to hold you up by your waist when you get tired and cant really brace yourself against the wall/headboard that well anymore, shell take it all without ever complaining, doesnt matter if you suffocate her, drench her whole face, kinda fuck up her neck, she doesnt care, shell be too drunk on the feel and taste and sight of having you on her like that, staring up at you with glazed over eyes, maybe using one hand to jerk herself off because shes too turned on and cant take it..

maybe one time she was feeling wild and told you to do it while you were wearing a dress outside, her just laying down on the lawn and telling you do it right there bc you could climb off her fast if someone did happen to come around the corner - again, she might be private and reserved but being caught isnt really an issue for her, shed just be like "and what. I will have my girl the way I want when I want, deal with it."

didnt use any toys on her own but can definitely get down with them when its with you! I think she might be too shy to suggest this but she’d absolutely lose her mind if she saw you riding a toy to get off, like you straddling it on her bed to give her the chance to see you from whatever angle she wants, unlike when youre riding her and she cant see you from far away etc. - I also think shes the type of lover who wants to know/see how you masturbate, or how you did it before you met her, its such a private thing and I think she loves the idea of being trusted with that information <3

rediscovered her love of receiving/bottoming with you - with hookups she usually only let them do things that didnt feel too vulnerable, i dont think she let any of them see her in positions that made her feel too exposed, but with you she feels safe enough to admit that she does like being on her hands and knees, that she likes to be finger-fucked until shes near tears, that she sometimes likes to just have her face in the pillows as you eat her out or touch her from the back, its not something that happens too often bc it does require a lot of trust on her part, but when shes really horny and youre being sweet and kissing her all over to get her worked up shell sometimes cave and beg you to just do whatever you want and get rough with her

especially with a younger partner shes turned on by the idea that someone who has less experience can ruin her like that, its a nice secret to have because she knows a lot of people would look at a lesbian who looks like her and assume that shes a top, but shes a switch through and through, would never give up one or the other

she wears a thin gold chain that she hardly ever takes off, so sometimes when youre fucking it dangles over your face, or you pull her in for a kiss by gently tugging at it <3

one time you found a playboy from her exact birth year and month at the antique book/magazine store and brought it home for her, which was more of a silly present but she did find it sweet/hot and left it on the coffee table as decor (you made her flip through it with you and teased her by pointing out which models you assumed she found the hottest, which she shut down by saying "well I would do the same to you right now but theyre all like what.. twenty years too young for you?", so you doubled-down and said "oh dont flatter yourself, I like women my age too", so she did briefly have a fantasy of you getting with a girl your own age as she watches you two, which struck a nerve, but she kept that to herself, at least for the time being..)

youre obsessed with her physique because she has the distinct shape of someone who earned their muscles through hard work, who didnt try to grow them out of a need to become as big as possible but who genuinely needs to be strong to do their daily tasks, so her muscles are not cartoonish or over the top, she just has a firmness to her stomach and thighs and back thats hottt as hell to you, her abs are subtle but theyre there, and your absolute weak spot: her V-line. when shes wearing a shirt thats too short to cover up the spot right above her pants and you can see those lines that lead down into her underwear.. it’s over. youre staring shamelessly, and she pretends she doesnt notice but she loveees it, shell lay back and stretch out her legs and count you gawking at the sight of her exposed stomach 😵‍💫

sometimes when shes tired she’ll just lay flat on her back on the bed, arms and legs spread out and let you crawl all over her, feel her up, do whatever the fuck you want, shes happy to just lay there and take it all, so you usually spoil her and kiss and touch her all over before getting to anything more intense, straddling her, playing with her hair, teasing her, kissing her neck, massaging her, biting her, you know she loves being trapped and helpless while shes exhausted and eager to be showered in affection <3

the first time you were with her when she said "good girl" to her horse you grinned and asked "who, me or her?", so she shot you a smug look and said "what are you doing right now thats praise worthy, hm?" but she definitely took note of it and brought it up later on in bed, which did make her say it less to her horse from that point on (oops..)

one time during your first weeks of dating you couldnt ride your designated horse because you were too sore from the night before and the friction hurt too badly.. she felt a little guilty so she kissed it better after she couldnt help but laugh when you climbed off and said "yeah not today, no fucking way" while pointing between your legs

loves having her hair pulled, sometimes she puts her hair up in a ponytail during sex just so you can easily tug on it to bend her neck and kiss her skin there <3

if you 69 she is always the one whose face is getting smothered, always, she wouldn’t like it if it was the other way around, but every once in a while when youre both in heat and desperate to fuck the other person, she’ll eat you out while you’re trying to hold your hips up over her mouth while you’re jerking her off/struggling to taste her bc of your moaning </3, you both love orgasming at the same time, being together in that state of helplessness, it’s something you crave

if you lost your virginity to her, I think shed offer for you to do something to her that nobody has ever done before to make it kind of even that way, its mostly her way of adding to the sentiment of "I want us to be equals" because she never wants you to feel like shes eager to overpower you or see you as a girl she gets to "corrupt", maybe you laid in bed once and she told you this and she took a moment too long to try and think of something that no lover has ever done to her so you jokingly said "whore." - but youre creative, so you definitely found things that you would be her "first" for

if youre feeling freaky hear me out.. maybe youre the first to ever put your whole hand inside of her. would take a good amount of patience and lubrication but I can see her getting off on it sooo intensely once you manage to slip all of your fingers inside of her... you staring in awe and telling her how hot it feels, and slowly, very slowly, moving your hand a bit.. I think being so full of her lover would ruin her so hard. and she’d be turned on from knowing that none of her longtime girlfriends ever got to do it to her. anway.

her sexual preferences always depends on yours in the sense that she wants to know what you need and then give it to you, if you just want your brains fucked out she’ll gladly give in, if you want to pleasure her without being touched in return shes down as well, if you want both shes never gonna deny you, which means! that when she does allow herself to take charge every now and then by manhandling you and telling you "come here" or "lay back" it ruins you because youre not used to it, she looves the look you get when she decides to be a bit rough for once

to put it plainly: your pleasure is her pleasure, always!

thats all for now! feel free to let your own imagination fill in the rest 💌

[jjkarmy091]

Know too much- Jungkook

Genre: Romance; angst; slow burn; friends2lovers; Warnings: strong language; mentions of death; mention of r*pe; eventual smut Wordcount: 15k Ps- English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes! I always try my best! Not proofread

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This gonna be divided in two part because it has gotten too long

You always loved the idea of love: the romance, the effort, the cumplicity: everything related to it- but one thing it never occured you was the jealousy you'd feel.

You finished high school in 2015 and decided to take a sabbatical year where you'd do whatever you wanted: you had some part time jobs, had gone to parties your closest friends, but you got tired and wanted more so when you found out the application period for college exams was going to open you didn't hesitate. Truth is you were always a very homely person, barely leaving your house, not because your parents wouldn't let you, they kept insisting for you to go have some funa and clear your head, but you didn't like that type of enviroment. Instead, you'd rather stay home reading or watching movies than going out until it started affecting your mental health, isolating you from everything and everyone. That was the main reason why your parents told you to take a full year for you to enjoy yourself. You only had a few close friends, but the ones you had were worth 10 of them. Not to gush, but you were lucky with the people around you. When high school ended, your best friend Rosé would go out and insisted on taking you with her. That's how your story with Jungkook began.

You and him met in mid-February 2016. Rosé was talking to a guy named Tae, you'd see the pictures she usually posted on Instagram of the two of them and another guy with a rather peculiar style. In one of those pictures you saw he was all in black, with some necklaces bigger than him (almost) and very thin, however, his eyes were what caught your attention the most. Despite all the black he wore, his bambi brown eyes gave him a very sweet and innocent appearence. Rosé always insisted on you to go out with her and her new group of friends. For some reason she wanted to introduce you to them, even though you always said you had no interest in it until you were so tired of hearing her talk about the same thing over and over again, you agreed to go with her and those "so new" friends.

You and Rosé went to a well known pub in the city, being the first ones to get there, asking for two cokes with lemon and ice. Maybe fifteen minutes later you notice two guys coming in and looking around, they were both tall, one with curly light brown hair while the other had very dark hair and bambi eyes. That's when you realized it was him, the guy you had identified before, however, this time without the all-black outfit. Instead he had a plain white shirt and ripped jeans and a pair of earrings. You had to admit he was extremely handsome, thin but muscular, everyone could tell he was into exercising or had started going to the gym. The first to arrive at the table and introduce himself was Tae, a super communicative and outgoing guy, you could see how comfortable he was with people, just as Rosé. Behind him came his friend, who introduced himself as Jungkook, however, unlike Tae, he was someone more quiet and reserved, like you. Tae sat down next to Rosé after greeting you, forcing Jungkook to sit next to you.

As time passed it was palpable the chemistry between Tae and Rosé as they talked and leaned over each other, gently and discreetly caressing each other's leg, hand or shoulder. After a while they said they would go for a smoke, leaving you and Jungkook alone. It couldn't have been more awkward between you two at first. He was shy and so were you, there was simply no conversation between you other than an exchange of glances here and there. You were about to get up to meet the others outside when he spoke.

"If I were you I wouldn't go."

"Why not?"

"They're probably sucking each others tongue at this very moment." you made a disgusted face

"Whewwww gross. You think?"

"Ohh believe me I'm sure of it" He laughed and damn you for noticing how pretty his smile was. You didn't know if he had braces or veneers before but fuck - what a perfect and white smile he had- You swear if you had that kind of smile you'd never stop using it.

"I'm Y/n by the way. I didn't get the chance to properly introduce myself before"

"Nice to meet you Y/n"

You had a feeling he was gonna give you trouble

and he did

You blamed that bunny smile of his.

After that night, you and Jungkook became super friends. In fact, he ended up taking you home since Tae and Rosé left together. Along the way, you ended up talking even more and getting to know each other better: you knew he was 23 years old, had studied art and that he now worked in a graphics store while taking a tattoo artist course. You told him you were 19 and turned 20 in the summer. You also shared your intentions on going to college that same year to study education since you loved children and your biggest dream was to be a kindergarten teacher. You also ended up discovering you had a lot of things in common, you had to admit it was worth going out with your best friend that specific day because the boys were super fun and nice people to hang with and you really enjoyed interacting with them. Rosé and Tae started dating shortly after that day, so it was inevitable that you wouldn't see Jungkook more often, making him a big part of your life.

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June 2016

The week of your university exams arrived and you were very nervous, at this point you were afraid you would get there and forget even your name. On the days you had exams, Jungkook always remembered to send you a message of support and that relieved a lot of the pressure you felt. After the fourth and final exam, you finally breathed a sigh of relief, feeling like you could enjoy summer as you should.

As you were leaving school, you heard someone call your name. You looked back and saw Jungkook walking towards you, however, you realized he wasn't alone. Beside him was Maddie, a girl who had been in your class, but failed due to excessive absences and had to repeat the year again. You were happy to hear she managed to finish it, you heard some rumors about her being absent at the time because of an abortion she had. It was never confirmed or at least you never heard anything about it again. Honestly you never thought you'd see her doing the admission exams, since she didn't really like to study either. You were happy yet quite surprised to see him with her.

When you saw the two of them you tried to look away, picking up your phone as if you were replying to a text, but from the corner of your eye you saw Maddie giving a kiss on the corner of Jungkook's lips while he smiled, having his arm around her waist, with his hand resting on her ass. You don't know why, but that made your stomach twist. Then you saw her whisper something in his ear, to which he nodded and they each went their separate ways, her into school and him closer to where you were.

"Hello smarty pants. How was the last exam? Ready to enjoy summer the right way?"

"Stop it" you laughed. " It was good I guess. I don't think I have to worry about it, the worst part was the math exam. What are you doing here anyway? Stalking much?" Jungkook put an arm around your shoulders

"Not even! Honestly I didn't know you studied here. I recognized your figure when I came to drop Maddie off. I'm sure you've crossed paths before, right? She's a year older than you and doing finals aswell"

"Ohh yeah I know her, she was in my class and she's just a couple months older than me but who's counting. Didn't know you had a girlfriend" You pulled away from him so that the arm previously around your shoulders fell away. "I don't want any problems with her, I heard she has a temper" He brought you close to him again.

"What girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend, I'm single and ready to mingle. I'm sure you'd know if I had one. You really think I'd be hanging out with all of you instead of my girl? I'm not stupid Y/n- I love you guys but I'd never choose hanging with my friends over my girl every night" You looked at him confused. "Then what are you?"

"We are just friends."

"That didn't look like friends to me"

"We met on a party I went with some friends, we hit off and have been fooling around since then."

"Ohhhh that type of friends, got it" you were silent for a moment until you spoke again. "never pegged you as that kind of guy" Jungkook made an offended face "Wow. Why are you saying that like it's the worst thing in the world?"

"Sorry I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was that since I met you I always had the idea that you were more of a serious type? I dn't know how to put it in words, justI didn't think you'd be the type to have friends with benefits. I don't know how to explain it- why are we even talking about this? Wheeew. "

"I'm shy at first, not blind Y/n. I'm human and like everyone else I have needs. Just because I don't want any kind of relationship right now doesn't mean I'm trash with them. I'm focused on enjoying my life but I don't have to be naive when it comes to sex and girls. I know what they want and they know what I want, it's easy" He said it jokingly, but you felt attacked. "and we are talking about it because you brought it up. Are you gonna tell me you've never done the same?" The only thing you said to him was "shut up" along with a punch in the arm, which definitely hurt youmore than it did to him.

How much has this guy grown physically in a short space of time?

The week had finally come to an end and Friday night arrived and you, Rosé, Tae and Jungkook were in the usual spot, having the usual conversations. They were sharing what they were going to do over the weekend, while you, on the other hand, were tired and sad. You had a fight with your mother so you were quieter tonight. It was rare for it to happen but when it did, it sucked. She is the type who never thinks before saying things and when she realizes it the damage is already done. Remember when people say words are more painful than a slap? that's you. You always considered your mother as your best friend, you knew you could count on her for everything and honestly if it wasn't for her supporting you after your first boyfriend treated you like shit just because you didn't feel comfortable initiating something sexual with him when you were 16, you don't know if you would have made it this far.

It was regular for you and Josh to go to your house or his after school, to study together and have some fun as a typical young couple who are at the beginning of their sexual discovery, however, you still didn't feel ready to go all the way. Of course you had already done other types of foreplay, but not the act itself. You had been dating for 6 months and at first he was super respectful but then he was increasingly pressuring you to do it, always implying if you didn't want to it was because you didn't really like him. You had already learned how to deal with it as he always ended up respecting your wishes until that one day.

You had just arrived home and your parents were still at work as usual. You had prepared some snacks and were in the living room watching tv until he started getting closer to you and give you little kisses on the neck and that was alright because there was nothing new, however, he started to be rougher, more aggressive and started to hurt you in the process. When you realized everything, you started to panick and begging him to stop, but he wouldn't. You did everything you could to get out of his grip, yet he was stronger and heavier than you so all your attempts were in vain. You just remember crying and trying to scream, asking him to stop and him kissing you everywhere and touching you in places you didn't want.

You know it was a miracle when you hear a key being inserted into the door and see your mother come in. Both your parents usually didn't get home until 8 or 9 at night, if not later. Your mother was a nurse and your father was a businessman so their schedules were difficult to know sometimes. When your mom saw you in that state she immediately went to help you and that's the last you can remember. Your therapist had said sometimes our brain blocks our traumatic memories as a protective mechanism and that's what happened to you. Since that moment you haven't been able to get involved with anyone on a more intimate level. You had a lot of support from your parents and if they were protective before, they became even more so after what happened.

Fortunately, and with therapy, you were gradually able to overcome this trauma, being able to live your life like before again, with a lot of help from Rosé too. That's why whenever you fought with your mother, especially over stupid things, you ended up feeling somewhat guilty and ungrateful. While you were listening to your friends talking, your phone started ringing and you looked at the screen and saw "mummy". Standing up you told them you were going to answer a call and went out to talk to her. At the end of the call you were calmer and she even apologized to you. Surprising, I know. When you were getting ready to go back you felt someone's presence behind you and turned around, coming across a worried Jungkook.

"Is everything okay?"

"Ohh yeah everything's fine. My mom called me and I couldn't hear anything inside" Jungkook sat down on a little stair near the entrace mentioning for you to do the same.

"I noticed you're very quiet today and that's not you. What's wrong?"

"I had a huge fight with my mom today. It's rare when we fight but when it happens it's bad and it was over something so ridiculous. Now she called me to apologize and ask if I was alright and said she would always support me no matter what I decided to do and yeah that definitely made me feel better. Thanks for noticing Kook"

"No problem, smartass. We are friends and if you are unwell of course I will be concerned. Next time talk to me, maybe it will relieve you, you don't have to bear everything alone, you know that right?"

"I know you do, but thank you anyway." There was a pause and then you looked at him again and wrinkled your nose "I'm glad Rosé bugged me over and over again to hang out with you guys, it was probably one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life."

"I wish I had met you sooner, you know. In a way I think my life would have taken a 360 degree turn for the better if that had happened before." As he said this, his voice was so serious and soft at the same time it sent shivers down your spine. At that moment there was something between you and him that you couldn't describe, but you knew it was comforting, those words had made you feel shy, so you moved closer to him and laid your head on his shoulder.

"You may not believe it, but I believe things happen when and how they have to happen and if we only met now it is for a reason. Perhaps if we had met before we wouldn't get along as well as we do now. It's all in good time Kookie, even if we think it isn't." Jungkook grabbed your hand and intertwined it with yours, laying his head on top of yours. After that, neither of you spoke again, staying there feeling the gentle wind on your faces. You loved being like this with him, close to him, protected by him, because you knew that for you and your heart that was already a little more than just friendship.

After that day you didn't see Jungkook for some days, something about him being too busy managing his personal and professional life according to Tae's words. He, you and Rosé were having a great time. Together you would go to the pub every night, going to the city's famous nightclub aswell. Not that you were a club girl, you were more for them than for yourself, yet you can't deny you ended up having a good time. You found yourself missing Jungkook a lot more you thought you would, wondering what had him all caugh up that he couldn't even hang with you anymore.

Would it be Maddie or someone new?

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July 2016

Three weeks later and your birthday was finally here and you were super excited. You always loved celebrating birthdays, the coexistence, the surprises, everything about it excited you and this year wouldn't be different. You had gone to your grandparents house for the weekend with your parents. They lived two hours away from you so whenever you went to visit them you made sure to enjoy every second. During the days you were there, you always talked to Rosé, who told you how things were going with Tae and in a way also gave you updates on Jungkook. Apparently he had gone to a tattoo artists' conference abroad and forgot to activate his data so he could talk to everyone, losing his phone midway his trip. You were happy to know the reason for his disappearance was entirely professional.

You got back on Wednesday night a little before dinner time. You had just finished packing all your things when you heard someone knock on your bedroom door. Opening the door, you're met with a super excited Rosé "I missed you so much". She may look tough, but deep down you know she's a softie. You knew her presence there wasn't for nothing. According to her she was on a mission to get you to hang out with the group a bit. Initially you refused, saying you were too tired, but she knows how to persuade people very well and before you knew it, you were all dressed up and ready to walk out the door.

When you arrived at your usual spot you saw the usual table, occupied by the usual people, only this time there was one more person: a girl more or less your height and with dark, long hair. Honestly, her features were identical to yours, the only difference was the style of clothing she wore to show off her beautifully sculpted body. You didn't have that body, you were a little fuller than her, with more hips and your legs touched - your biggest insecurity. She took the seat next to Jungkook, where you usually sat. Rosé didn't notice your sudden change in behavior, perhaps because she was already focused on her boyfriend who was pointing to the seat next to him. When the others finally noticed your presence, both Jungkook and the mysterious girl next to him looked back and for a second you forgot how to walk. Shit. It's only been three weeks since you last saw him, but he looked different: stronger, more defined, more tattooed and even more handsome. He changed his haircut too and added two more earrings to the one he already had. Your eyes met for a few minutes, until you reached the table saying hi to everyone

"Y/n finally you give us an opportunity to see your pretty face" Tae said wrapping one arm around Rosé's chair. "I thought you were mad at us and were going to pull a Jungkook stunt."

"As if Tae, as if. It's only been five days since you last saw me, there's no need for you to miss me that much. Besides, you knew where I was and I was always contactable," you said, walking around the table. You noticed Jungkook had opened a space between him and Tae, perhaps for you to sit there, however, you grabbed a chair and pulled it next to Rosé. You saw Jungkook frowning.

"Yeah you're right. Regarding that, Jungkook is the master champ without a doubt, disappeared without saying anything and when he returned he brought a friendly surprise with him." Tae was teasing Jungkook but didn't get any reaction from him. You shrugged, opening the can of Coke Zero you ordered and pouring it into the glass with ice and lemon. "Expected" was all you said about it before the mood grew tense. Jungkook was still quiet, despite the girl next to him laughing at what was being said. The rest of the time was spent talking about plans for the rest of the summer and what to do before college started until Rosé mentioned your birthday.

"So as you guys know our Y/n's birthday is tomorrow and we have to celebrate properly, so tomorrow get ready to party all night long. There are no exceptions, so don't even remember to make plans for tomorrow, you hear Y/n? I'm going to be extremely upset" Rosé made you pinky swear you wouldn't bail at your own party. Around eleven p.m you left the pub where you were, ready to go home. Rosé and Tae were going home together and Jungkook was also supposed to go with the girl whose name you didn't know yet. You had two options: either you'd go with your best friend and her boyfriend or you'd for a walk alone. Obviously you chose the second option. Don't get the wrong impression, you loved to see them happy but you weren't going to submit yourself to that humiliation and even though she said they were going to take you home, you preferred to walk. It was your initial plan until Jungkook spoke to you for the first time that night.

"I can take you home Y/n. I have my car and Catherine lives nearby, we'll drop her quickly and then I'll drop you off safely" So that was her name- Catherine- how fancy you wanted to say. You declined the offer, saying you wanted to walk but Rosé insisted on what a good idea it was and how she felt more at ease knowing Jungkook was the one taking you, claiming she knew who to kill if something happened to you leaving you no choice but to hop on the car with him and fancy Catherine.

She went in the front seat while you got in the back. You heard them talk but you weren't interested in understanding what they were saying just in case you heard something you shouldn't. Instead you were focused in the view outside and how calm it seemed to be, with the light breeze passing over your skin. Five minutes later you felt the car stop and saw fancy Cathy kiss Jungkook on the cheek, says she would see him tomorrow, opened the door and left without saying anything to you. After all why would she? You didn't speak to her once or even tried to talk to her so you couldn't judge. She got out, yet the car remained stopped. At first you thought he was waiting for her to get inside but there was no sign of her anymore. You looked at Jungkook and he was already staring at you through the rearview mirror. "What?"

"I'm waiting for you to move to the front seat. Isn't that how it usually is?"

"I'm good, wasn't planning to move from here for a ten minute ride anyway." You have to admit that sounded harsher than it was supposed to. He didn't respond, but the car remained still. You heard him sigh. "If you don't move to the front then I'm the one who's going to the back" You mocked him

"You wouldn't do that, especially in front of fancy Cathy's house"

"Wanna bet?" Jungkook started by taking off his seatbelt and when he was about to open the door you got out and sat in the front seat. He grinned. "See? You moved pretty fast" you simply gave him your middle finger. "Soooo... fancy Cathy? Is that what we're calling her now?"

"I thought the name was very fancy, hence the nickname. Does it bother you?"

"Not me. Seems like it bothers you much more than it bothers me." You laughed "Keep dreaming" Jungkook drove just a few meters until he stopped the car in a small, empty park, turned off the car and looked at you, this time with a look that affected your entire body. "What's going on?" You gave him a confused look. "You're acting weird"

"I'm acting weird? You were the one disappearing on everyone and when you came back you spoke to everyone but me. Just figured you were occupied"

"That was my bad and I already apologized for that mistake. I had a last minute conference, it was work related I couldn't just say no. Then I lost my phone and all the contacts, it sucked to be honest, thank you for asking. When I saw Tae and Rosé again, you were already out of town, figured I'd wait for you to come back and tell you about my bad luck myself but then you didn't even spare me a glance"

"Well I'm sorry. Didn't want to get you in trouble"

"Catherine and I are just friends. She's new in town and just started working on the same store where I tattoo. We went to the conference together plus our boss, we ended up bonding" You scoffed at him

"I can imagine" Jungkook rolled his eyes. "Anyway, how long will we be here looking at nothing? It's midnight and I wanna re-" You couldn't finish the sentence because you saw Jungkook pick up a mini cupcake with a candle on top and grab a lighter.

"Happy birthday smarty pants"

The night of your birthday was starting off really nice.

You and your friends had dinner at one of your favourite restaurants. Jungkook, Tae and Rosé gave you an hotel gift card for two people for 5 nights. Then you guys head off for Seven Rings nightclub, where the majority of teenagers would go. That night you swore to only have fun, so you danced, drank and had cigarettes stolen from Jungkook, who was very displeased and gave them to you after a lot of insistence. You weren't a smoker but when you drank you felt the urge to taste that bitter cigarette taste.

You were on your fourth Sex on the beach and had to admit the jumpsuit Rosé had given you two years ago made you feel pretty sexy and confident. You had rarely used it and thought your birthday was a special day to do so. When you showed up, your friends jaw dropped and for a moment you think you saw Jungkook adjust his pants, or maybe it was just the three beers you had earlier taking effect. Either way, you were feeling amazing and after so many drinks you couldn't care less about your surroundings. Tae was the designated driver, which meant everyone else, including you, were drunk.

Right now you're on the dance floor with Rosé while Tae and Jungkook had gone to get a drink. You were so focused on the music that you only noticed a pair of hands around your waist when someone turned you around and came face to face with you. Jungkook had a cocktail in his hand while the other was on you, pressing you against him. He looked divine: black pants and plaid shirt slightly open and tight to his body, with some of his new tattoos on display and hair longer than usual. You can't deny he was a charming and sexy man and you couldn't judge the fact that all the women ate him up with their eyes, it's not like you've never done that either, like yesterday, when he dropped you off and you went to your room, grabbed your vibrator and started pleasing yourself thinking about him. You can't recall having such a strong orgasm before. Now he was dancing so close to you you could feel his breath hit your nose and you were sure he could feel your heart beat fast too. You could smell the perfume he 'stole' from you a while back too.

"If no one has told you yet let me be the first to say you look extremely sexy today"

"Well thank you loverboy. I tried my best today, after all it's not everyday you have an opportunity to celebrate another year of life" Jungkook approached your face even more, just to whisper in your ear "I'm glad to have an opportunity this year and I hope to have many more in the coming years as well."

"Ohh Kookie if I didn't know any better I'd say you were flirting with me" You knew the conversation had to end but you didn't expect him to keep up with your game.

"Who told you I'm not?" He was looking at you so intensely and you were so close to each other the only thing you could look at was his lips. You got closer and closer and when your lips were about to touch someone pulled him away. Behind him was Fancy Cathy in a top that showed almost everything and a skirt that looked more like panties. For such a fancy name, her clothing choices left a lot to be desired.

Jungkook was a little stunned, but managed to say something to her, turning his attention to you again with hopeful eyes. You know what he intended, but you couldn't. You had a plan for yourself and you couldn't get away from it, besides, he was one of your best friends, getting involved would ruin everything and he had already said he wasn't looking for something serious or a long-term relationship. You knew his focus was on enjoying life and having as many hook ups as possible. He tried to pull you close again but you stepped away a little and took a deep breath, excusing yourself to catch some air. He followed you "Y/n wait" - he reached for your arm as you turned around to face him again "talk to me!"

"There is nothing to talk about Jungkook this is wrong! I'm drunk and so are you, we'd wake tomorrow regretting our actions and would make things awkward between us. Let's face it, we'd never work out"

"Why? How'd you know that if you don't give yourself a chance to figure it out?" you hurt him and you could tell by his voice

"How do I know? just by what you told me Jungkook. I don't wanna be one of the many friends you fool around with whenever you feel like it and move on from when you're bored. That's you, not me"

"That's what you think of me hum? Good to know. Sorry for reading it all wrong." he started to turn around but looked at you again "You're right in one thing though, we'd never work out wanna know why? Because I wouldn't be able to handle such a prude like you. And just so you know, the only reason I went out with you on the first day was because Rosé and Tae convinced me. You didn't get along with anyone and your best friend would get so worried about you that Tae wanted to fuck her without having to worry about you calling her all the time"

Suddenly everything slowed down, the words, the people, the music- everything- Is that why she always insisted for you to go out with them and meet other people? because you were a burden? You didn't realize you were alone outside, nor that you sat on a chair looking into the darkness with tears streaming down your eyes, much less did you remember Rosé approaching you. Everything was blank

"Y/n? hey girl, are you feeling okay? Jungkook went inside saying he messed up. What happened?" You tried to say something but nothing would come out, only tears. The shock of those words left you completely speechless and the only thing you wanted was to get out of there. Rosé was joined by Tae, who looked at you with panic and concerned eyes, tried to get close to you but you pushed him and he didn't force it. When you felt calmer, you got up without talking to any of them and went to the bathroom. There, you cleaned the mess on your face and texted your dad if he could come and pick you up. You got an answer within 2 minutes telling you to wait for him outside the club. You left the bathroom and went to the girl who keeps the coats and bags and handed over your ID to get your belongings back when Rosé found you again. "Y/n talk to me, what's wrong with you? What did Jungkook say to make this upset?"

"What did he say? What you never had the courage to tell me. I already understood everything Rosé. Don't worry, it's okay, I'm tired and I want to go home, my father is already on his way so there's no need to worry about my whereabouts. Enjoy it with your friends" As you headed towards the exit, you looked at the counter and you were sure it was Jungkook ordering a drink with Fancy Cathy by his side. Son of a bitch - he ruined your night, turned your head into mush and still comes out on top.

Motherfucker

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The next day you woke up with a massive headache. Your phone had ran out of battery and you didn't even bother to plug it. You made it load up, opened the windows and went to take a shower. Your parents had already gone to work, meaning you were on your own. Your father was very worried about you last night, but you said everything was fine, that your period started and you were in pain and uncomfortable. You don't know if he believed it, but it helped for him not to bring up the subject again.

30 minutes after a nice shower, you wrapped yourself on your towel and got dressed. You glanced at your phone and saw dozens of messages from Rosé and Tae, but nothing from Jungkook. You figured he was too busy fooling around with fancy Cathy to acknowledge the shit he said yesterday. You ignored them all, put your headphones on and decided to tidy up your room, which was a mess. Next week you'd know the answers from the colleges you applied to and if everything went well you'd be far away by the end of September.

4 days passed after that day

Every now and then you'd receive a text from Rosé mostly. From Tae you received two the day after the incident saying "whatever Jungkook said, I'm sorry" and "please don't push us away. Rosé and I are worried about you" None of them ever mentioned Jungkook, nor had he tried to contact you after that. One of those times, you replied to Rosé saying you needed some space and wanted to be alone. Despite everything, she was still your best friend and it wasn't her fault, but Jungkook's words echoed in your head over and over again.

Monday.

You had finally left your house after being locked up for days. Your mother was working at the animal shelter she used to volunteer and asked you to stop by the grocery store to pick up a few things she needed. 3 p.m and you were wearing black shorts and a gray tshirt and your hair was loose, freshly washed. You had your headphones on and were completely relaxed in Walmart when you saw a familiar figure. You tried to turn around without anyone noticing you, but it was impossible because you immediately felt a hand on your arm. When you turn around, you come face to face with a worried and sad Rosé.

"Please don't run away Y/n. You're killing me with worry and you've distanced yourself from me and I don't even know why." At that moment you felt a pang of guilt- she was right - despite everything, the mess was between you and Jungkook, not anyone else. You bought what you needed and the two of you went for a drink nearby. Even without any need, you were nervous.

"I miss you bestie. What the hell happened that night? I spoke with Jungkook and the only thing he said was how he fucked up and how sorry he was. He disappeared too, Tae has been with him but refuses to let me know what the hell happened and I just feel lost."

The events of that night pass through your memory for the thousandth time. "Jungkook and I were dancing. We were both kinda drunk, he flirted with me and I flirted back, friendly teasing. Then we started getting closer and closer until we were interrupted by the friend who went with us the other day. She messed with Jungkook and I think it dawned on me what was about to happen and I panicked" suddenly you felt tears prying your eyes but you kept talking. "I started thinking about my future plans, our friendship, our goals… about how he behaves when it comes to girls- I don't know, I was afraid of I don't even know what honestly. I ended up telling him I needed some air and he followed me, we argued. I told him we were both drunk and were confusing things and we would regret our actions the next day and it wasn't going to work out between us. He freaked out, but I was honest Rosé. After Josh I never got along with any other male, I don't see things the way he sees them, how he handles female friendships- I was an idiot but so was he"- You took a deep breath- "In the end he agreed we would never work out because he couldn't be with a prude like me and that he only started hanging out with me because you guys had convinced him. Not to mention that Tae was fed up with you constantly being worried about me that you couldn't even fuck, something like that. After half of those words I couldn't think straight and I just wanted to run away from there so I went to the bathroom and asked my dad to pick me up. The end."

Rosé's expression was pure shock. "Y/n that's.... That's not true. I mean yeah me and Tae wanted to introduce you to him but only because we thought you guys would hit off pretty good and in fact you did! It had nothing to do with us fucking- anyway. I am speachless. Peanut, I'm so sorry for this mess, I didn't realize any of that, if only I had seen it coming." Rosé grabbed your hand and squeezed it - "I didn't even notice Jungkook was drinking- I heard him say he'd only be up to water and juice- which is not an excuse- I- Fuck!" she stopped talking for a bit " I spoke with him after you left, he was panicking, saying he messed everything up with you, how he didn't mean to say what he did. Tae went with him to catch some air while I stayed with Catherine, we dropped him home and then he vanished aswell" She didn't say anything else and you weren't interested in knowing more about him either. You know you overreacted that day, but that didn't justify the angry words that came out of his mouth. If you knew, you would never have gone to that damn nightclub.

You and Rosé continued to sit there and after you calmed down, she changed the subject. You already missed being with her like this: with no stress, without worries. Shortly after, you returned home, but not before promising her you wouldn't vanish again without first giving an explanation. Truth to be told, she was always more rational than you.

The rest of the days flew by. You never saw Jungkook again and you also chose not to cross paths with Tae, perhaps out of shame of what he might have heard and what he might know. The good part was that you started doing more for yourself: you joined the gym, you committed to reading more and soon you'd know where you were going to study. You were excited as hell, after everything, you just wanted to get out of that city, meet new people, focus on something other than how Jungkook made you feel that night and how little he cared about you.

He wasn't a bad person and he never gave you reasons to be mad at him and maybe you overreacted that night and were a bit off limits with what you said, but the way you'd see him with different girls would always make you feel tensed up and weird. How could he be with so many girls at the same time? You knew he had a type: all the girls he had been with were so similar to you that you didn't want to be just one more of his conquest.

You were now 19 and still a virgin, always extremely shy and never felt comfortable with guys after Josh so that topic was something you were sensitive about. No one knew other than Rosé-who was way more experienced than you- however she never pressured you into anything, on the opposite, she always encouraged you over the person who was your first, since she had a terrible experience in this aspect. Intimicy was something you found difficult to have with someone else and maybe that's the main reason it'd confuse you how Jungkook could be with so many people at the same time and for them to be alright, you'd never understand that.

Ohhh Jungkook

He never reached out or would cross patches with you either. Whenever you'd hang out with Rosé and Tae he'd never show up. There was this one time you think you saw him at the same place as you but you panicked so much you didn't get the courage to see if it was really him or not. When you looked back again he wasn't there anymore - maybe it was a mirage- you missed him so much, despite everything, he meant so much for you, he understood you like no other and would always support you no matter what. You never thought your friendship or whatever existed between you would break over something so silly

It had been two weeks since that day. You already knew where you were going to study, in fact college wasn't too far away - 1 hour by car and 30minutes by train, which you could catch sometimes, even though you decided to stay in the dorms, only going back home from time to time. Everything was outlined. Among your hobbies, you had also gotten a part-time job at a cafe that allowed you to earn some money until you went to college. You would only start taking things in mid or late September to start classes in the beginning of October. You were excited - new place, new people - everything meant to be perfect - but you should know not everything goes as we would like and you would be proof of that very soon.

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September 2016

It was the last week before your classes started and you moved permanently. Together with your parents, you had already gone to visit the room where you'd be staying, taking some things there. Today was also your last day at work, so to celebrate you, Rosé, Tae and some of your co-workers: Jade, Leigh and Jackson went out for dinner, followed by a movie session of the latest horror film that had come out: M3gan 2.0. You were excited and at the same time nervous and nostalgic. You had never left the protective wings of your parents, or even gone to a place where you didn't know anyone. Within a week you were on your own and it was making you anxious, even though you know it's part of the moving process.

You had just finished dinner at McDonald's and were about to buy tickets for the 9 p.m. session, but you needed to go to the bathroom first, which happened to be in the same hallway as the cinema entrance, telling Rosé to buy your ticket while you were there. Two minutes later you were done, washed your hands, checked your makeup and headed towards your friends, when suddenly you felt your phone vibrate inside your bag and you looked down at it, trying to find it. It was only seconds, but that was all it took for you to go against someone

"God I'm sorry. I was distracted and didn't see - " Words failed you as you looked up and saw a face you were all too familiar with. In front of you was Jungkook, with the same bambi eyes and the same piercing in the corner of his mouth, but more robust, even more tattooed and sexy as fuck. After your birthday in July, you never spoke again, you only knew he was now working full time at the tattoo shop and how he'd go out with Tae from time to time, but nothing more- you wouldn't ask and Rosé wouldn't tell you either.

You avoided to know about him or see something on his social media because it hurt how casual he moved on like you didn't matter when you were still stuck on that moment. Every time you thought about those words, the cold look, the lack of interest he had in at least admitting he fucked up, cut you in thin layers 'til this day. Maybe if you guys had spoken, today you could remain friends and put that mistake behind you.

Jungkook's face was tense at the sight of you, pale. You could see he wasn't expecting to see you there and didn't know how to react at your presence. The atmosphere was so heavy you just wanted to disappear from there, so you adjusted your bag, bowed and were ready to move until you heard his voice. It was just then that you noticed yourself holding back tears. "I'm sorry". You were confused and he could tell by your face. You took a deep breath.

"You don't need to apologize, I was the one who accidentally bumped against you." He just looked at you. He didn't know how to respond, there was no way, he knew he had fucked up with those ignorant words that only came out because he was angry, he knew he shouldn't have let you go without making the effort to talk to you, but he didn't have balls to do it, he was rude and used arguments he knew would hurt you and he felt so guilty and ashamed he didn't know how to face you after. When he woke up the next morning he realized the shit he had done, yet it was too late and he was too selfish to take the first step. In his head he'd be fine, you were just someone who had crossed his path and he let go.

Until it wasn't fine... at all

He found himself writing to you a million times and deleting after, every day he'd look over your social media to see what were you up to and every day he'd run past your house, telling himself that it was just a short road to his house, deep down using it as an excuse to see if he would cross paths with you. He would ask Tae about you, however he never gave much away, their friendship was also shaky after the way he used his and Rosé's names to unfairly attack you created some distance and only recently things have started to feel normal again. Now, seeing you in front of him, so beautiful, yet so broken was grinding him inside because he knew he was the one who had taken away the shine you once radiated. He had to say something

"I already know that you managed to get where you wanted. Congratulations Y/n, I'm glad you got what you wanted from the beggining."

"Thank you" you turned your head to look for some of your friends and coming face to face with Jackson waiting for you. "I have to go, I have people waiting for me." when you were ready to return to your group you felt Jungkook's hand on your wrist.

"I know I'm the last person you want to see in front of you and I know it's too late and you probably hate me. Not that it's much help, but I want you to know that I also hate myself for that day. Besides losing someone very important to me I also ruined a special day for you and I'm sorry Y/n, for everything." you felt your face getting wet and with your sleeve you wiped the tears rolling down your cheeks. "

Not that it changes anything but thank you for this, I really appreciate those words." You couldn't say anything else, so you mumbled a "Sorry, I really have to go" and quickened your pace. Today was supposed to be a day where your only concern was to have fun, not end the night crying. At another time you knew Jungkook would be your support. In another time you knew your last days in the city would be with him, but on this very moment you only felt sadness invading your entire being because it wasn't possible. Damn, you just wanted to be in his comfort, between his arms and his warmth, he was the person who made you feel the safest and now you were completely unprotected. You missed him but right now there was no way you could reconnect with each other and maybe that was the best

For now

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October 3rd 2016

First day of school and you were a nervous wreck. A much bigger school than you were used to, with so many different things. You were trying to find the first classroom when a girl bumped into you, someone a little taller than you, light brown hair that almost reached her butt, hazel brown eyes.

"Hello- Hi- sorry, didn't see where I was going." She looked nervous, just like you.

"Hi, it's okay, it happens. First day?"

"Yes and to make it better I don't know anyone or know how and where to find the classroom and I'm going to be late. Did you see how big this is? It's easy to get lost here." You both laughed.

"I know what you're saying. I got into Education - my goal is to be a kindergarden teacher, yours?"

"Oh my God same! does that mean we're in the same class? I'm Alexa by the way."

"Y/n, nice to meet you. So let's go find this classroom or what?"

Alexa was very nice and committed, as well as calm. During the day you also met two more girls: Ivy and Jess. Both Alexa and Jess lived in the city, but you and Ivy, since you were from far away, had rooms close to college and the best thing was that you both actually stayed in the same dorm. That day, when you spoke to your mother and told her you had made new friends and that one of them was luckily your roommate you noticed the calmness in her voice. By the end of the week you already knew college inside out, as well as the buses and trains you had to take.

It didn't take long until Friday arrived and you were waiting for the bus near your dorm. You were going back home to see your parents, since they almost made you promise you would go home at least two or three times a month. When the bus arrived, you chose a seat and put on your headphones to drown out the noise around you until you caught yourself looking at a boy who in turn was already looking at you. You smiled and looked away embarrassed. About five minutes later you felt a tap on your shoulder

"Excuse me, can I sit here?" A blond guy with honey color eyes and a perfect smile planted in his face said. He wasn't very tall, around 1.70m but damn was he attractive. Since you couldn't formulate a verbal response, you just nodded and he smiled and sat down next to you. At first he didn't say anything, but then he started talking to you about college life and how difficult it could be. You found out he had been here for a year, but had switch majors to Economics, so he was repeating his first year again although he had already completed some subjects due to his previous major. The conversation between you was so interesting that before you knew it, you had arrived at the train station.

You thought you wouldn't see him again so soon, but you were surprised to see him get on the same train: curiously, you discovered you lived in neighboring towns, ten minutes apart by car. During your conversation, he seemed interesting and humble and above all, he was going through a complicated process since he had just lost his grandmother a week ago. You had never experienced the pain of such a loss, so you sympathized with his pain, just imagining losing someone so close to you gave you chills. He left before you, so before he got to his stop he asked for your social media and added each other. In your opinion it was still too early for you to give him your number and you didn't even know if you would see him again, but the truth is that you were curious about him.

When you got home, there was a message from him on Facebook and then you started talking every day. At first, you didn't mention it to your mother or Rosé, but both of them noticed your phone wouldn't stop vibrating and you ended up confessing you were meeting someone. Your mother was shocked, but Rosé was a little apprehensive.

"I thought you would be happy to see me talking to someone of the opposite sex" you said jokingly. She sighed.

"And I am, baby. I guess deep down I thought you and Jungkook would turn things around and get over what happened before and get close again. You were perfect together." Since that little encounter a month ago, you haven't seen or spoken to him again. Of course at first you compared Jungkook to Peter, they were the opposite of each other and you missed Jungkook's craziness, but it was time to move on.

"Ohh c'mon Rosé, it was never like that and you know it. We got along so well because I was the only one who could resist his charms from the very beginning. I knew everything about him, the good and the dirt, the girlfriends, conquests, flings, you name it. It never went beyond that, don't be silly." She scoffed

"Ohh Y/n please, you're the idiot one, that guy almost got boners every time you'd walk by. He'd look at you and his eyes would literally lit up, whenever you'd speak he'd be the most attentive one, even if it was the dumbest shit ever! That's why Tae and I were so sure something would happen between you two. I know he felt something for you and it wasn't just friendship."

"If he felt something then why didn't he ever say anything? Why was he always with a different girl? Why did he say he just wanted to enjoy life without thinking about serious relationships? I think you two are the ones who traveled too far and saw things where they didn't exist."

"Because both you and him are stubborn as hell and he knew about your goals and that you were leaving soon or maybe out of fear just like you. It may not seem like it Y/n, but he's more serious than you think and he's very intense. It saddens me that's all, I think you would make a wonderful couple." You didn't say anything else. First you didn't know what to say and second you weren't interested, not anymore.

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November 2016

You and Peter talked every day and ironically you ended up seeing each other every day either on the bus or when he'd go see you when you finished classes or vice versa. At this point you had already exchanged numbers and were officially dating, life was going well and you were finally starting to be happy again, but nothing lasts forever and what was one of your biggest fears would come true way too soon.

Classes were starting to take a heavy toll on you: lots of work for more than 10 different subjects, group and individual projects and and you were getting into a nervous spiral, time seemed to be running out. It was wednesday, around 7 p.m and you were so envolved on your homework about child development that it took you a while to notice someone was calling you. Looking over to your phone you saw a call from your dad.

"Hey dad, what's up?" It was rare for him tocall you; it was usually your mother.

"Hey honey, how are you?" He had an apprehensive tone.

"I'm fine but you don't seem so well dad, what's going on?" He avoided answering at first and you stopped what you were doing and started walking around the room.

"Baby we need to talk. First of all I want you to try and stay calm, okay? It's about your mother…" The rest of his words were whispers, everything became a blur and before you knew it, you were packing a small bag and heading to the bus stop as fast as you could. From what you could gather from your father's words, your mother wasn't feeling well and started throwing up a lot. At first, they thought it was indigestion, but then she started to feel strong back pain and had difficulty breathing and keeping her balance and he took her to the hospital at her request. She was someone who hated the smell of hospitals so for her to ask to go there was already a red flag.

While you waited to reach your destination, you sent a quick text to Peter saying your mother had felt unwell and you had to leave in a hurry to be close to your dad. A journey that took 30 minutes was taking ages and you could only imagine the worst case scenarios. When you arrived at the station, you took the first taxi you saw and went straight to the hospital where you found your father sitting with his head in his hands.

"Dad- dad, how is mom? Have they said anything? I'm here now, sorry it took so long."

"Your mother is doing tests, I don't know anything yet, baby. Don't apologize, everything will be fine, let's try to stay calm." And you waited for minutes, hours, you couldn't even tell the difference anymore.

11:13 pm

Neither you nor your father had eaten and the pain of not knowing anything was killing you. Suddenly you saw a nurse walking towards you and stood up.

"Marie Evans' family?"

"Yes it's us."

"We've just finished all the tests and have confirmed the diagnosis. Mrs. Evans has advanced pancreatitis and is currently on medication. We're waiting for her condition to improve so we can transfer her to a better ward. You can come with me, give her a kiss and collect her belongings, please." You were the first entering the room where your mother was. She had all kinds of devices connected to her: both inside and out, you had never seen anything like it and immediately started crying.

"Please don't cry baby, it's okay, I'll be fine. I want you to remain calm and never give up on your goals. It's late my love, go home with your father, get some rest and don't forget you have classes tomorrow. I love you very much, you're my dream come true. Both you and your father are my life and I'll always take care of you." Her words were weak and you could see the effort she was making to say them.

You kissed her forehead and told her you loved her. Your father came in shortly after and you said goodbye to her along with her belongings: cell phone, glasses and wedding ring. All of this is the sum total of a human being and the memories they carry. They kept your number in case there was any change in her condition. That night you slept in your father's bed, you couldn't go to your room alone, needless to say you didn't sleep at all that night.

8 a.m and your father called the hospital to find out about your mother's condition and they told him everything was normal. After these words you were able to rest a little until you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing and the number of the hospital you had saved earlier.

10 a.m and you got the worst news. Your mother wasn't responding to the treatment and her organs were failing and if you wanted to say goodbye to her you had to go there immediately, because they didn't know how long she would be able to resist. The world fell apart and everything went numb.

10:45a.m you and you dad were at the hospita. You had dark circles under your eyes and you still hadn't stopped crying while your father tried to stay calm. You arrived at the hospital and the first thing you did was to go to the reception to find something out. Apparently she had been transferred to the ICU and a nurse was coming to guide you. The way there was dark and morbid, you had never felt this emptiness and cold inside you before.

11:22 a.m. a nurse came to you again and looked at you with such sad eyes that she approached you with a glass of water.

"Do you want to go in and say goodbye to her one last time?" You said yes and put on those protective suits, gloves and masks. When you got to her side, you couldn't take it anymore and fell on your knees next to her bed, crying desperately.

"I can't, please get me out of here, I can't." she was pale and cold, breathing with the help of a ventilator that would soon stop working. It wasn't her anymore, it was just a body. The nurse helped you out while your father stayed there a little longer. The last thing you remember was fainting in the nurse's arms.

12:08 p.m - after regaining consciousness, your father took you out to get some air and the two of you sat on a bench.

"We have to eat something, sweetheart."

"I know, dad."

"Shall we go?" You shook your head, but neither of you moved to the cafeteria, but instead to the waiting room where a doctor came to you minutes later.

"I'm sorry to inform you, but her condition is deteriorating significantly. We can't guarantee how long it will take: it could be hours or it could be a matter of minutes. I'm so sorry."

1.45 p.m and you were still waiting sitting on those sad and lifeless blue chairs. As much as you could, you informed your closest family so that they could be prepared for anything. You were so young, but with such a huge responsibility you wondered how long you'd be albe to hold on. The same nurse who helped you a few hours ago came back to you.

"Do you want to try going in one more time?" You nodded and went back in with your father. This was the last time you were going to see your mother, you had to say goodbye somehow, no matter how much it would cost you. You approached her and took her cold hand. "I know you've been waiting to go, mom. I'm sorry for keeping you locked up here. I know you did everything you could and that you'll always keep an eye out for us. You can go, mom, we'll be fine. Go in peace, just don't forget that I love you very much and I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

2.30 p.m and the doctor responsable for your mother called you and your father into a private room, telling you to sit down. You understood everything. As soon as he said, "I'm sorry," you lowered your head to cry. "We don't understand what happened or why she stopped responding to treatment, but her condition was always very delicate. She never stabilized normally and had very intense peaks. As nurse Adams explained, the situation got worse in the early hours of the morning and to avoid even more suffering we had to put her into a coma." He spoke, but you didn't understand anything.

You were empty inside. You didn't even remember leaving the hospital, all you knew was when you left those diabolical doors, Peter, Rosé, Tae and Jungkook were waiting for you, with tears on their faces. You didn't think much and ran out: not to your best friend, nor to your boyfriend, but to the person who hurt you a while ago: Jungkook: he was the one you needed right now. Jungkook hugged you so tightly that luckily you didn't lose your breath. You cried against his chest and he cried silently for you, affirming that everything was going to be okay and from that moment on nothing would take you both apart.

Two weeks have passed

It's been two long weeks since you lost your mother and you just went back to college. Between organizing the funeral and managing to stay on your feet, at the same time being the only pillar of support for your father who was also trying to cope with the pain of an unexpected loss.

After the funeral, you isolated yourself more at home, trying to find a way to move on. You've been receiving texts from your friends giving you strength, although they're giving you the space they know you need. This whole situation has helped you and Jungkook to end up getting a little closer too, he'd show up at your door with food or suplies Rosé would tell him you needed and he'd buy. Other times he'd cook for you and make you company while your dad had to go work.

You and Jungkook agreed to put things behind and be friends, but never went back to the way they were before, plus now you were with Peter and he was also getting to know someone who frequented his tattoo store often. It's a good thing you moved on, because he did too. You both moved on and learnt from past mistakes and you were just grateful for having him in your life again, slowly going back to normal.

Now about Peter, he has been with you and supporting you a lot too. The fact he also went through the loss of his grandmother not long ago made him more familiar with all these new feelings on your side, making it easier to talk to him. On one occasion, you even told him you weren't going to do anything to end your life, but if it happened you wouldn't care. You still couldn't accept you had lost the person who gave you affection and comfort even if the world was against you. On top of that, you stayed with your father who, like you, was in pieces and dealing with college, paper works and internships was driving you crazy.

A few months passed and you were now in June and almost done with the last semester of your first year of college. On one hand, you felt time had passed quickly, but on the other, you felt that it hadn't passed quickly enough. Your relationship with Peter continued to go well, as did your friendship with Rosé and Tae. As for Jungkook, even though you were on good terms it was never the same as before and as time passed you'd only speak from time to time.

When you returned home you made a point of meeting them all. On one of those meetings, you took Peter with you and to your surprise, when you got close to your friends, Jungkook was also there with his girlfriend- Yes it was official- In one of your visits you heard Tae say Jungkook had made his relationship with Sophia official. At first, you thought it would be like the other times, but when Tae mentioned they had been seeing each other for months, you kept quiet. She had managed to change Jungkook's mind in a matter of months. Now seeing her in person you couldn't deny how gorgeous she was: brunette, tall, honey brown eyes with some tattoos on her body, older than him and richer, a deadly combination. Both attractive and perfect for each other. You already noticed Jungkook has a type since all the girls you saw him with had the same features.

How ironic

It was awkward at first and you thanked the heavens that Peter wasn't shy like you. He was outgoing and talkative, always had something to talk about and when he didn't he would invent something. Sophia was also chatty and seemed like a good girl deep down. When she wasn't talking, she was snuggled up to Jungkook and sometimes you noticed her eyes darting between you and Jungkook. You just smiled.

She smiled back.

Nothing lasts forever

What you thought was the best thing that ever happened to you turned into a huge nightmare. You were currently on vacation and wouldn't be back to college until October. You had been with Peter for 9 months now and although everything was perfect at first, you were now starting to have second thoughts. A while ago, you noticed his behavior changing and you met a more controlling, manipulative and demanding Peter. You were constantly receiving texts from him asking what were you doing and where you were and if you didn't answer within 5 minutes, he'd flip. When you were studying for your final exams back in May/ June, you weren't paying so much attention to your phone and your father or roomate would show up next to you with his phone in his hand saying Peter was on the other line to talk to you. Of course, this always led to a lot of arguments.

You hated the fact he thought you had to be there for him the entire time. Then he started to pick on you what you wore: either because it was too short and showed off your curves or because it was too colorful and caught others attention. And finally he got to the point where he also started to get mad when you were out with Rosé and Tae. They didn't like him that much and when these situations started to happen, they hated him even more. Your father had also told you he wasn't the man for you. Yes, your own father thought he was childish and stupid and only accepted him because it was your choice. Embarassing how he saw it before you.

He just didn't pick on Jungkook because he didn't know you two used to be that close hence you'd never mention him before, although that had started to change recently. Truth be told, your mother's death had served as a tool for you and Jungkook to get closer again. It had started with small texts here and there asking if you were okay and how you were managing all of it. Little by little you started hanging out with the group again and although it was weird at first, little by little it started to feel like the old days. Until this one day when you had gone to Target to buy some things and in the same aisle you saw Jungkook. At first he didn't see you, but when he looked up he recognized you and came over to you, talked for a while and when you were about to say goodbye he invited you for a coffee. You were embarrassed to admit time with Jungkook had passed so quickly and you didn't even noticed it, something you didn't feel with Peter, whenever you were with him you wanted to leave.

From that day on, you and Jungkook had started hanging out and talking more. He said his girlfriend didn't care and wasn't jealous, that she also went out with her friends. On the other hand, you hid these little hang outs with Jungkook from Peter because you knew it would cause unnecessary mess. You often confided in Jungkook about your relationship, that it wasn't working out and you didn't know how to get out of it, because he had helped you so much and you were feeling ungrateful for even thinking about ending it.

Peter was also your first, even though he was an idiot about it. You were honest with him about everything related to sex and he always respected you on that. One day you were at his house and were making out and things were evolving very quickly until he stopped and suggested for you to go to the bathtub. When you asked him why, he simply replied "Since it's your first time, you're going to bleed and to avoid dirtying the sheets it's better to go to the bathtub, because it's easier to clean"

When you heard that, you instantly lost your excitement and felt ridiculous. You slapped him so hard your hand left a mark on his face, and left. Stupidly, you ended up forgiving him a couple weeks later, after a lot of work on his part. A short time later, he prepared a romantic dinner and that's when you lost your virginity, however, it wasn't what you expected at all- he was insensitive and rough. He taught you how to suck his dick but didn't want to eat you out because it was "disgusting." He didn't wait until you were wet enough to start the act, which ended up hurting you terribly. It lasted 2 minutes and then he got dressed and went out for a smoke. You swore to yourself if sex was always like this, you'd never want to have it again.

It was the first and last time you did it

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September 1st, 2017

It was Jungkook's birthday and your group of friends had planned to go out. You and Peter were going through (another) rough time so you didn't even invite him. You had planned to go to St. Pierre, a nearby restaurant with affordable prices and excellent food. You, Rosé and Tae were already there when Jungkook arrived with Sophia, holding hands and smiling. Every now and then you forgot that he was a committed guy. They greeted everyone and sat next to each other. My goodness, they were really perfect together, you could tell there was stability in their relationship by the way they acted, the way they spoke and you felt sad for a moment. Damn, you had been through so much and you hadn't even had any luck in love. You got so lost in your thoughts that you only realized it when you felt a light kick and realized it was Jungkook calling your attention, with a worried look while the others remained excited in their conversation. You smiled at him and nodded to assure him you were fine.

After dinner, you went to a bar. Although you were enjoying the atmosphere, you couldn't help but feel a little out of place. Everyone was in couples and happy while you were alone, feeling like you didn't belong. Everyone was dancing and you informed Rosé you were going for a drink, ordered something and went to get some air on the terrace. You picked up your phone and found a ton of texts from Peter - you didn't reply to any of them.

"Is everything okay?" You were surprised to see Jungkook next to you, also with a drink in his hand.

"You scared me Jk" you laughed "Yes, everything's fine, it was very hot inside and the night is amazing so I came here for a bit" He leaned on the railing and rested his arms on it

"You're acting weird. As much as you want to hide it I know you pretty well, I know when something isn't right. Is it Peter?" You sighed and imitated his position.

"That too. I'm tired and I don't even know why. I see everyone around me having fun, living life and being truly happy and I wonder what I did wrong to not be able to enjoy things without feeling bad or guilty for just living. Fuck, look at me. A place full of couples and here I am alone because my boyfriend only does shit and we are more often mad at each other than we are actually happy." You hadn't realized, but the distance between your body and his had gotten smaller. How? No idea. He had turned around and was now leaning his back against the railing, his arms still resting on it, looking at you.

"Sometimes things aren't as they seem. People are actors and those around them only see what they want them to see. I know this first hand" You were going to ask what he meant by that, but stopped when you felt his hand on your shoulder "Break up with him Y/n. If he doesn't make you happy, if he doesn't do you any good leave him. You deserve much more than living with someone who is always criticizing and hurting you."

"Jungkook I..." you couldn't finish your sentence because behind you you heard a throat rumbling and that's when you remembered: Sophia. You quickly turned around to see a confused Rosé.

"You were taking too long so I came to see if everything was okay. Jungkook, Sophia was looking for you, she just went to the bathroom to touch up her makeup." Jungkook nodded and without saying anything looked at you, then at Rosé and went inside. Few seconds later she spoke

"What are you doing peanut? He's dating! As unhappy as you are, don't involve other people. It took a lot for Jungkook to finally meet someone decent and Sophia is actually a good girl and is good for him. Don't ruin your friendship like last time, please."

"Are you crazy? Rosé, you know I'd never do anything to hurt him, who do you think I am? What a shitty thing to say" however you knew what she meant and you couldn't get mad at her because deep down she said what you really felt: Jungkook made you nervous and confused and when you were with him you couldn't help but feel special, to the point to forget he had a girlfriend, a serious relationship and you had someone too, even if it's bad. Sophia was good to Jungkook, they were great together and everyone noticed, even you. That doesn't mean you didn't feel a pang of jealousy: everything you wanted was there, but far far away from you.

You had reached your limit

Once again you and Peter were having a huge argument, this time because you were wearing shorts and a black shirt that were a little too tight for your body. Your father always told you were better than that and you knew he was right and it was time to do something to change that.

There were two weeks left until you started your second year of college and you decided to take advantage of this time with your father and go visit your grandparents. For Peter, it was a tragedy you hadn't taken him and even more so when you refused to go on vacation with him to visit your family. In the end, you were just gaining a little more courage to end things. After Jungkook's birthday, you had met up one more time, two days later at the usual place. All your friends were there and you ended up mentioning that since it was almost time for you to return to college life, you were going to enjoy the rest of your time in your grandparents house. Everyone said they were going to miss you but Jungkook asked how long you were going to be away. Rosé and Tae tried to change the subject as they noticed Sophia's gaze on him and then on you. It was a simple question, but it created some tension there. You didn't see fury in her eyes nor could you grasp what kind of feelings that look conveyed.

You were the first to leave, insisting you still had things to pack and organize before leaving and you hugged them all one by one. When it was Jungkook's turn you smiled, there was no need to say anything. He also hugged you tightly, caressing the back of your head and thanked you for being part of his life again. Finally it was Sophia's turn and she had half smile on her lips and opened her arms to say goodbye. You approached her "Thank you for taking care of Jungkook and for doing so much for him" she looked at you with a smile and hugged you even tighter.

She really was a good vibe and if he was happy then so were you

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It's been 3 days since you got to you grandparents house and you felt like home. In here you felt a huge presence of your mom lingering around. Your first night there you cried with your grandmother, you could have lost a mother but she lost a daughter and it was being infernal for everyone. One thing you noticed about grief was that it felt like a rollercoaster: You could be fine for days, maybe weeks and then one day you'd wake up and couldn't get out of bed. It also helped define your relationship with Peter. You weren't happy and he was becoming increasingly toxic, so you decided to put an end to the relationship. You thought you would feel bad, but you discovered in the end the only feeling you felt was relief. Although you know he will ask you for another chance and will run into you at college, things will work out better this way, at least for you.

It was the third night and you received a text from Jungkook asking how were you and you still hadn't answered. As time went by, you began to realize Jungkook didn't belong in your past and seeing him with Sophia broke your heart little by little and although you were happy that he was okay, you knew this whole situation was partly your fault. If you hadn't been a coward and run away that night, maybe the girl in his arms right now would be you and not her. You were in the middle of whether to answer or not when you moved your finger and it accidentally clicked the call button. You mentally facepalmed yourself and were about to hang up when he answered. Fuck

"H- hi. I'm sorry I didn't mean to call."

"Ohh" silence "It's okay, I'm glad you did though, how are you?" You did pause on that question. You weren't okay at all, but you didn't want to be talking about it with him.

"I'm fine I guess. You?" you heard a dry laugh on the other side

"You're a terrible liar smarty pants, you know that right?" You mentally hit yourself "you can be honest with me, I've told you that so many times. You don't have to pretend with me"

"I'm trying to be okay but it takes time you know. I love being here with my grandparents and my dad, yet I have too many memories of my mom and it's drowning me. That and… well, I broke up with Peter" you heard a throat clearing.

"Did- did you really break up? Did he do something to you?"

"Yes, we broke up. There was no way back, the way he sees life and the way I see it are completely different. Besides, he was becoming more and more possessive and manipulative and I wasn't well anymore. I let myself be out of convenience maybe. Stupid, I know, but I felt alone and he understood how I felt about the loss of my mother and… I don't know- I think it was more because of that, because deep down I always knew we had no future together."

"We need to do a lot of shit to finally see what we have in front of us and find the right person"

"You're speaking for yourself aren't you? for someone who didn't want any kind of serious connection to anybody, you and Sophia are getting along really well." a brief pause "I'm really happy for you guys, everyone can tell you're happy and I have to thank her. Somehow she managed to change something in you, that's a huge deal already. I'm glad you found someone who motivate you to take risks and settle down." There was a brief silence until Jungkook said

"Yes, I think so. There are people who come into our lives to show us something, right?"

"Exactly. Like me and Peter," you laughed, "he definitely came into my life to show me that bad things never come alone. That and the fact now I'm even more sure of what I don't want in my life. Anyway, sorry to bother you so late at night, it really was an accident and I don't want to interfere in your life, it's better to hang up before Sophie gets upset."

"She won't, don't worry. Besides, I'm glad you called. Enjoy your time at your grandparents' and don't forget to give signs of life from time to time in your busy student life." You said goodbye and hung up the phone. It was in those moments you realized how much you missed Jungkook, because only he knew the right way to calm you down and cheer you up. Even if you don't want to admit it, you envy Sophia. She was able to change his view on relationships and you end up imagining what could have happened if you had been the one to give him that opportunity. Back then you were still very childish and had a lot to live and learn in life and Jungkook had a lot of growth to do too, even though there's always that "what if" question thing. "What if things were different?" Now Jungkook already had his other half

And how sad you felt about that

Taglist: @fangirl9990 @httpsmei @petroogorodnik @diptylkrtk @beattiestreet @troublemaker02 @magicalnachocreator @littleflowerpond @bhonbhon @smoljimjim @leftcolorcreation @whoa-jo

[quin-ns-stuff]

One more chance, please.

Obsessed!KeigoTakami x fem!reader

Part 1 | part 2

(First time making a post on here. Idk what im doing sos. Not proofread.)

Today marks the one year anniversary of the breakup between you and Hawks. You had finally settled into your new, independent life without him and you were thriving. In contrast to Japan’s number 2 hero, he much so, doesn’t feel the same way, at all.

——————————————————

One year.

It has been one year since you and your number 2 hero boyfriend had split up. Surprisingly it had been you that initiated the breakup. You were sick of all his fans flirting and touching him inappropriately with their skimpy little dresses and their big titties and asses sticking out(😔). But that wasn’t the main reason why it caused the downfall of your relationship, it was because he was enabling ALL of it. Every lingering touch, every seductive words that fans would whisper to his ears he would be all smiles and even flirt back no problem.

Fuck, your friends and family were right. Dating one of Japans top heroes was bound to end up in shambles. (But ofc you didn’t listen you were just giddy that you had a hunk like him in your sheets lol)

——————————————————

But here you are now. Walking the streets of Musutafu with your friends, holding a shit ton of bags containing (you couldn’t even remember) spent with the pay check you just received from your average 9 to 5 job.

But despite everything you already settled into your new life, a life without that parasite and you were enjoying every second of it.

You were finally at peace, you sighed contently.

“OH MY GOSH, IS THAT HAWKS?!”

Heads and bodies turned faster than you could flip a coin. And before you could even register what that civilian said, a MOB of people came stampeding past you. Luckily for you, your friend closest to you grabbed you by the arm and moved you out the way before you plummeted to the floor from how aggressive and eager everyone was to get to where all the attention was.

“Well that could off ended badly. Your slow ass would’ve fell face flat on that concrete if i didn’t come saving you.” Your friend, Rumi elbowed you while grinning.

Rolling your eyes, you were about to give her your thanks before your other friend, who emerged from behind you yelled,

“AIN’T THAT YOUR EX?” Your head whiplashed to the side to look at her, mortified and in disbelief as she had no shame shouting that out as she too looked as surprised.(😦😟)

All three of you cranked your heads up to see the attention that everyone came screaming their throats raw for. And lo and behold there he was, wings stretched out and flapping rhythmically in the blue sky as he waved at the rustling crowd.

“Wow, didn’t expect to see all you guys waiting ever so eagerly for me. Must I say, i’m quite flattered.” The one and only Hawks with his ever so smug face chirped as he lowered his wings down to come greet the crowd.

“Ladies.” He smirked, as the group of young women basically creamed at his words.

That smug bastard was enjoying every second of it as you stared intently at them, but the longer you stared the more you felt icked out by him.

Lucille, the blabbermouth blinked a few times at you while exchanging looks at Rumi before coughing

“Yeah, I think we should go. That new soba place must be opened by now.” She says, grabbing you by the shoulder, while Rumi picks up your bags. Then all three of you push your way past the horde back into the busy street.

As you yap about what kind of Soba you guys like and dislike, you cant shake that eerie feeling that someone is watching you.

Turning your head side to side while your eyes scan all your surroundings, trying to find anything out of the ordinary. But fortunately for you, you don’t.

With your head held back high, you continue walking and yapping to your friends. until you notice Rumi’s fabubu keychain slip off her purse.

“Hold on. I’ll get it.”

And for a swift second you turn around to retrieve that single item, and thats when you realise.

..

Oh.

[gurugirl]

Must be nice | bfd!harry

Summary: You and Harry feel like everything's coming together perfectly. You're both getting all the things you wanted. But when you run into Fae while shopping and she notices something new about you, it bursts your little happy bubble.

Partly based on this request!

Word Count: 3.4k

Warning: 18+ only, smut, age gap, angst, uncomfortable confrontation, pregnancy stuff 👀

Best Friend's Dad!Harry masterlist | Main Masterlist

. .

You had a feeling before it was confirmed. Harry had already started getting the small bedroom closest to the master bedroom ready; painted, new crib, little toys, a changing table. You joked with him about how it was probably bad luck to begin before you’d even taken the test but he reminded you of how your intuition told you he’d gotten you knocked up.

“Besides, if not now, then soon.”

He might have been more excited about it than you were. Which surprised you honestly. You weren’t even married yet, he was freshly divorced, and his daughter was hardly speaking to him.

Sometimes you wondered if he was throwing himself at this new life, new family, to suffocate the thoughts he had about what he’d done. You hated to think that he was feeling guilt and that the only way he could get his head above water was to pretend everything was okay.

But then again, you were doing the same thing. It hurt too much to get into your head about everything. About how you’d ruined your relationship with your best friend and in turn, ruined her relationship with her father. So, there was guilt there, you just preferred to pretend things were perfectly fine.

And things were fine. Really. You got what you wanted in the end. Whether or not you deserved it was another story altogether.

So when you did finally take that test you’d been waiting for and it had two pink lines across the readout, even though you already knew it, you were still excited. Over the moon.

Harry was out of his mind. He took off two days of work to hang out with you and “celebrate” as he called it. Which just entailed him waiting on you hand and foot and making you realize that he was the best thing that had ever happened to you. It was hard to regret everything that had gone down when Harry treated you like a Queen.

When you told your mom, Harry was with you. He insisted on being there. He was trying not to tell her before you did so you had to just spit it out and say it. Harry pulled your mom into his arms and kissed her on the top of her head the moment you got the words out, “I’m pregnant!”

Part of you thought there would be more shame around the whole thing but Harry seemed like a child full of joy. It made you ecstatic to be carrying his baby. He was thrilled and so you would be too. It was easy to feel like things were idyllic and sweet when Harry was so thrilled. It kind of rubbed off on you.

Four months after settling in the new house and two months after finding out you’d been knocked up you and Harry had a few people over for a small party. He’d begun on the garden and it was looking just darling so he wanted to have people over to show off the house a bit.

Harry was set up at the grill with a beer in hand while you were talking to the wife of one of his coworkers and plating sliced veggies and dip in the kitchen. Everyone but you had an alcoholic drink. You didn’t know if that would be obvious or not but Harry didn’t care if anyone else knew. You figured it was just a matter of time before he couldn’t keep his mouth shut anyway.

Everyone invited was someone Harry knew from work. You didn’t really have many friends and the ones you did, you weren’t so sure about having over. Paloma was nosey and disingenuous you felt, and she was still friends with Fae so you knew she’d be reporting back everything. Fae had been your closest friend before everything and ever since losing your job at the restaurant you lost touch with the ones you were closest with. That left you with very few people you felt you could trust other than your mother.

“I am in love with this kitchen,” Shelcin gushed before sipping her wine.

“It’s really nice. We love it here.”

The woman leaned back and peeked into the living room before stepping in closer to you, “Can I just… I want to say something and I hope it doesn’t come off as offensive but I can’t help but wonder how you two moved along this quickly. I mean I know he’s divorced now and you were with him during all that,” she paused and settled her hand on the granite counter, “But… you guys must have really gotten serious quickly. For him to just move on like that.”

You tried not to let the shock show on your face. You knew people knew, mostly, but to be asked about it so directly? You hadn’t been prepared.

Clearing your throat you looked Shelcin directly in the eyes, “Well, we’ve been together, technically, for over a year at this point. And it wasn’t an overnight thing. We know what we did was not good but we just… we fell in love. Wanted to be together.”

“Over a year. I didn’t realize it had been that long. I knew something about Harry getting a divorce and that he met you before the divorce was final. So you two…” she raised her glass along with her eyebrows, “Again… not trying to offend. I’m just curious. You don’t have to answer, but he left his wife for you? You came before any talk of divorce?”

Looking over your shoulder out the window to see Harry looking pleased as he spoke to two of the guys outside you looked back at the woman, “Yes. I’m the reason they got divorced.”

Shelcin leaned her hip into the counter and grinned, “I like you. I never met his ex, so don’t worry. I’m not taking sides. But I can see how much he loves you. That dinner we all went to last month? He couldn’t stop staring at you. It’s really sweet actually. I wish Ken looked at me like that.”

You felt like you could let your guard down suddenly. Her smile and reassurance felt nice. You’d have to get used to answering questions about it you supposed and she hadn’t been catty about it, at least.

“Yeah, he’s great. I feel lucky that he loves me so much because I love him like crazy.”

“I noticed you’re not drinking. Any reason in particular?”

You laughed and shook your head, “You are kind of nosy, aren’t you?”

The laugh that belted from her chest had you laughing harder. It felt good to talk about it and laugh. To not take it so seriously.

Shelcin nodded, “I am nosy. Pardon. It’s the Colombiana in me. If I start asking things that make you uncomfortable you can just ignore me or tell me to shut up. So… is that a question you want to answer?”

Biting your lip you lifted the plate of sliced veggies and motioned your head at her to follow you as you turned to step outside into the backyard. The two other women who were there with their husbands were sitting at the patio set chatting as you sat the plate down.

Turning back toward Shelcin you placed your hand on your hip and glanced at Harry before looking at her, “There is a reason. And right now only Harry and my mother know so don’t say anything.”

Her eyes widened as she leaned in and whispered in your ear, “You’re pregnant?”

You nodded as she moved away and she raised her glass up with a nod at you before taking another sip.

“Burgers are just about done, babe! Sit down! I’ll take care of the rest,” Harry pointed at you.

You had been nervous to have people over but it turned out you had a spectacular time. Shelcin kept you laughing and her prying questions made you uncomfortable but by the end of it all, you realized you didn’t need to be uncomfortable. What was done was done. Life is messy, as she kept saying. Not everyone needed to know everything but you felt like you could finally let go of some of your regrets. It felt freeing to talk about it with someone else.

Harry was with you at every appointment and as your tummy grew little by little he seemed to only get more attached to you and the baby. He called you at lunch every day while he was at work to see how you were feeling, he doted on you, made sure you were taking your vitamins and getting plenty of treats.

And he was kind of supercharged sexually as well. It was like putting a baby in you turned him into some kind of sex-obsessed fiend.

You loved that he found you so sexy. But there were days when you couldn’t imagine him sticking his penis inside of you. He never made you feel guilty about it but you could tell he was pent up because any time you gave him any inkling of feeling needy he was all over you. Some weeks you wanted it all the time, others not so much. Your hormones determined how you felt but Harry was just happy to take what you’d give him.

And this week you were horny. You’d called him the day before on his lunch break and he came home right away to take care of you. And right then, as he was working in the garden with his shirt off and his muscles gleaming from sweat, his lats looking extra strong as he bent at the waist to dig the trowel into the dirt you stepped outside with him and admired his fit body, the tattoos, his big hands…

He turned to look at you over his shoulder and smiled, “Hey baby. What’s up?”

Biting your lip you took another step closer and danced your fingers over his sweaty shoulder blades, “Just watching. You’re working so hard. Why don’t you come in for a bit? Take a break.”

Harry dropped the trowel and stood up, turned to face you, and looked you up and down, “All right. Whatever you want. Come on, baby,” he took your hand and led you to the door. You could see it on his face that he knew what you wanted.

When he tried to take a quick shower you nearly got on your knees and begged him to just take you to bed right then and there.

You ran your hands up to his shoulders and leaned in to kiss his pecks, “Don’t. I want you now.”

Harry laughed, “Baby, I’m all sweaty and stinky.”

You inhaled and (god you were insane or something) moaned, “You smell so good, Harry. I don’t know what it is but I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on in my entire life. I want to devour you right now.”

Harry had barely gotten you into bed, your panties pulled down when you pushed him to his back and tore his shorts and underwear off his legs. You wanted him in your mouth. You were going to cry if you didn’t get to taste him. The pungent, masculine scent of him had your mouth watering. Which was funny because you were finding so many scents you once loved, off-putting lately. So to be as turned on as you were by Harry’s sweat surprised you. But there was no time to think about it.

You gave him a good glob of your saliva and smoothed it over him as he tucked his hands behind his head and watched you with a smirk. But you wiped that smirk right off his face when you took him down your throat and began gagging around him. His eyes widened and he gurgled a moan as he pushed himself up just a bit to watch you.

His hands were on your face and at the back of your head as bobbed over him and drooled down his shaft. You’d never sucked him off like that before but there was something so enticing about him right then.

“Holy fuck, Y/n… shit…”

You gasped as you pulled off, your hand wrapped around his base, and grinned, “This big cock, Harry…” you dipped down and licked over his tip with your eyes on his, “You use it so well. Makes me feel so good. Got me pregnant with it…” you wrapped your lips over his crown and lowered again, feeling his length push into the back of your throat before you lifted off again, “Deserves all my devotion. Wanna suck it, and feel it, and have all over me, inside of me...”

You were probably delirious. Your hormones had been raging and you were having the nastiest thoughts all day about Harry. He was easy to fantasize about. Gorgeous and tall, kind and gentle… and then there were times when he fucked you into oblivion and you imagined all the filthy things you two had done…

Harry pulled you off of him when you started to go to town again, his words were breathy, “What’s gotten into you, baby? Act like you’ve never seen my dick before.”

You laughed and pulled your cotton, stretchy dress over your head and then your bra with it, tits bouncing out and Harry’s eyes flitting between your breasts and your face, “I’m so horny, Harry. It’s just my hormones,” you grinned as you straddled his lap and smoothed your palms over his chest, “And you are so fucking sexy and you were just out there in the garden, sweating with this big cock between your legs hidden under your shorts…” you gripped his shaft and pointed the tip right at your aching entrance (yes, you were already aching) before putting your weight over it to slide yourself down his length until you were both moaning together.

Sex while pregnant wasn’t that different at first, but as the months drew on and your tummy got bigger, things had to be modified. You were on top a lot and doggystyle was a go-to when you were too tired to ride him. But one of the biggest differences was how fast you’d come.

Shifting your hips back and forth you reveled in the feel of Harry’s whole cock lodged inside of you. He was so stiff and heavy, so thick… you would never get tired of how good he felt. But having him while you were pregnant and extra sensitive and emotional was kind of addicting.

His hands traced over your tummy and up to your tits before he reached down and planted his big palms on your ass, helping you slide forward and back. He began to thrust up, hitting that deep spot that always made you gasp, “Fuck, Harry!”

Your nerve endings were sizzling with need as you rocked over him harder and he drove into you from his spot below as gently as he could manage. He wanted to pound into you until you were crying, watch your pussy spread open for him as you squeezed your eyes closed but he had to take it easy. You were carrying his baby after all.

But that drove him wild. Seeing your belly swollen and your tits grow heavy was the hottest thing he’d seen. And he’d done that to you. Made his official claim on you. Anyone who saw you together recently knew what was up. You were his girl. He was the one who got to have you.

You felt the heat of your orgasm spread and spread as your pussy slid over him and Harry’s tip nudged through your walls and squished into your deepest spot. “Fuck, you coming, baby? Does that feel good?” He panted his words as he watched you drop your head back and you whined a wet moan into the room. Harry finished you off with his knees bent and his feet planted flat on the mattress as he rutted up into you, plunging in to let you feel all of him as you pulsed around his cock.

Harry watched your pretty tits bounce as he fucked into you and then felt his release course through his balls, up into his length, and pump inside of you in heavy, hot throbs.

When oxygen had returned to your lungs you looked down at his face. His half-lidded eyes, heaving chest, and parted lips with borders edged upward in a satisfied grin – handsome and all yours.

.                 .                 .

“I think this one is better. I like the strawberry more. Or should we just get both?” Harry asked as he held up the jar of preserves. You were both standing in an aisle at Target doing a little shopping.

You shrugged, “Whichever one is fine. We don’t need both, though. I like raspberry and strawberry. Get the strawberry if you like that one better.”

Harry pursed his lips and looked down at both jars, “Okay. Strawberry it is.”

“Dad? Y/n?”

You and Harry turned toward the familiar voice. You almost couldn’t believe you were looking directly at Fae at that moment. But she wasn’t looking at your face. She was staring at your obviously pregnant tummy with her mouth dropped open and wide eyes as she approached you both.

“Hi, Fae. How are you doing, honey,” Harry glanced at you and then looked at his daughter. It was clear that she’d made a shocking discovery based on the look on her face.

“Is this for real?” Finally, Fae’s eyes landed on yours before she looked at her dad.

“That she’s pregnant?” Harry replied. You were too stunned to speak as you grasped onto Harry’s arm and watched your ex-best friend scrutinize the scene.

“I- I can’t believe you’re pregnant. This is…” Fae turned to look behind herself and then back at you and then Harry, “How far along?”

Harry looked down at you and then at his daughter, “About five months.”

“And when were you going to tell me?”

You blinked your eyes and placed one of your hands on your tummy.

“Well, I guess we just haven’t really told all that many people yet,” Harry spoke softly.

“All that many people… Okay. So your daughter doesn’t get like first notice. Got it. Makes sense.” She paused as she shook her head and then tilted her head, eyes on you, “Are you gonna say anything at all?”

Swallowing the bile down your throat you squeezed Harry’s arm, “Um, it’s nice to see you, Fae.”

“It’s nice to see me?  Is it really, Y/n? Because I’m not getting that vibe from either of you. It’s almost like you hoped I’d never know about this.”

“No. I- actually I’m happy to see you. I’ve missed you. It was just a surprise to see you.”

“Same. Quite surprised to see you both and to see you pregnant,” Fae looked at her dad, “Does mom know?”

Harry shook his head, “No. Like I said, not many know yet.”

She nodded, “Heard about the new house too. You’re both just living that sweet life, not a care in the world, yeah? Must be nice.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. I know you’re upset about everything and there’s a lot to get through here but we are happy together. I’m sorry–“

Fae put her hand up, “I know you’re sorry, Dad. I don’t need to hear the spiel again. You two are happy and in love, and now you’re having a baby. How wonderful. Congrats,” she turned around and began to walk away.

“Fae. Come on! Don’t just leave like this,” Harry called after her but she didn’t stop until she was out of sight of both of you.

And just like that, the little happy, peaceful bubble you and Harry had crafted was burst. The reality wasn’t as sweet as you’d been pretending it was. Fae was hurt and you’d done that to her. The anger she had toward you was warranted. You still hoped that maybe one day she’d forgive you but the reminder of what you’d done to get where you were in that moment was heavy over you.

You couldn’t avoid reality forever.

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