#cmbyn reference
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My summer's gonna be a movie!!!
The movie: 🍑🎹❤️🏳️🌈🚲📝
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The longer you bite your tongue the more you bleed. It’s better to speak than to bleed, it’s better to speak than to die.
#sad quotes#writing#cmbyn#cmbyn reference#is it just me#i miss you#desperate#childhood#questions#bleedblue#fypforyou
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While the intermedia of GelBoys is VERY referential to Skam, it took me a hot second to figure out what film the tone (sound, pacing, and visuals other than the appliqué motifs) of the actual series reminded me of—until I saw Chian’s “I <3 Paris” shirt. Then it hit me. It’s the first teenage section of the under-seen French queer coming-of-age gem Girlhood by Celine Sciamma (also writer/director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire).





The intimate sights and sounds of city-life from a local point-of-view with distant shots sans dialogue, the tangled queer friendships, the pop songs and synth scoring, the casual city grime right beside bright synthetic colors. Girlhood and GelBoys are not narratively similar, but I’m saying they speak the same cinematic language.
#gelboys#girlhood (2014)#celine sciamma#boss kuno loves his European queer film influences#None of us is pretending like ITSAY didn’t reference CMBYN (with the performance styles especially)#boss kuno#Let me add that I see plenty of Thai influences too#Love Sick and Hormones are both clearly predecessors#But neither of them had a score like this or had the lens focus for as long on a handrail lol#OOH! I’d also add Sean Baker’s film Tangerine to the list of film references (also shot on an iPhone)
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Summer camp AU, part 5!!
July 5th <3
Burnt - @jegulus-microfic - words: 910
First part Previous part
The chatter surrounded him, the sound of the fire roaring in his ear and the crunch of footsteps under his feet.
“Hi Reggie.” James sighed out. “Why are you scowling?” He asked as he sunk onto the log next to him.
The kids were roasting marshmallows while huddled around a fire, small giggles erupted and squeals heard when someone would set theirs on fire.
“Don’t call me that.” Regulus fixed his face out of a scowl and into a small smile, shrugging. “And I’m not scowling.” He snapped as he brushed a stray black curl away from his face.
James pointed at his smile. “You never smile either, keep it like that now.”
“Shut up.” Regulus spoke, attempting to hide his smile but feeling his lips quirk up even more as he looked away to keep an eye out on the teens.
“You like it.” Currently, Regulus was still aiming to took away from James, but he could practically hear the grin in his joyful voice.
And with that, the brunette boy left. Leaving Regulus to watch as James hopped over to the group of teenagers, chatting animatedly with them and grabbing a marshmallow to roast.
Regulus kept his eyes trained on James, watching as he stuck is tongue out in concentration and shoved the marshmallow into the fire, his hands getting far too close to the burning fire for Regulus’ liking.
He has nice hands… he can’t burn them.
Regulus sighed to himself and dropped his head to his knees, black curls falling everywhere.
-
About ten minutes later, Regulus saw James set another marshmallow on fire. The white sticky flesh flashing into a ball of sharp orange flames. The brunette yelped and blew repeatedly on the marshmallow untill it went out.
Holding in his laugh, Regulus let a small smile hide in the corner of his mouth as he watched the other boy roast another, holding the burnt and black one to his side.
After a moment, James came running towards Regulus with a smile on his face, offering him a wooden stick with a perfectly roasted marshmallow on the end of it.
“Careful, it’s hot.” The older warned as he shoved his own burnt one into his mouth, why didn’t he just keep the nice one?
“Is that even nice?” Regulus chuckled as he ate his own.
James gave a sheepish smile, taking a minute before swallowing it and coughing. “No, not at all.” He laughed and took a swig of his water, the liquid dripping down his chin and onto his slightly exposed collarbone as he gave a sigh of relief.
Regulus was staring, he was definitely staring. That was confirmed when the brunette spoke something in audible and gave him a strange look before speaking up again.
“Reggie?” He asked.
“Sorry, what?”
“Wow you didn’t even correct the nickname.” James laughed. “I’m getting somewhere.”
In reality, Regulus didn’t even hear the boy speak that name.
“Don’t call me Reggie.”
“There he is.” He said with another sip of water, Regulus knowing better and looking away towards the fire.
After a moment in silence, the brunette spoke up again. “Are you okay?” His lips tipped into a frown. “You seem… distracted.”
“Of course I’m fine.” Regulus hissed. “Fuck off.” He mumbled under his breath.
“Sorry.” James looked away as he spoke, his voice cracking at the end and a hurt expression weaving its way into his still frowning face.
A twang of guilt built up inside Regulus, he sucked in his breath and bit his bottom lip while his gaze flicked towards James, who was sat silent and gazing forward at the smiling teens.
His mind was foggy, his gaze hazy and his hands clawing anxiously at the hem of his sleeve. With a cough, he got up to go and talk to the kids. He normally didn’t do that, anything was less awkward than whatever was happening between him and James.
“Fuck.” He sighed as he walked away and out of earshot, groaning to himself.
-
Regulus walked back through the entrance of their cabin and away from the starry sky that he was just gazing at.
He stepped through the door to see James Potter at on his front on his bed, his laptop out and playing a movie that Regulus could recognise all too well.
“Call me by your name?” Regulus asked as he kicked his shoes off, sitting down on his bed and crossing his legs.
“James?” The brunette asked with a cheeky smirk.
“I swear I’ll walk straight back out that door.” The younger gave a threatening look and a finger point towards James.
Raising his hands in surrender, that smile that Regulus liked so much took over his face. “Okay, okay. Yes it is.” He nodded and showed Regulus the screen. “I saw the book on your nightstand, the movie’s really good.”
“I just finished reading the book, I’ve watched the movie tons though.” Regulus spoke thoughtfully.
James hummed, a caring smile covering his lips. “Are you okay now?”
“Yeah I-“ Regulus stuttered. “I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay now that you’re alright.” James nodded. “You needed some quiet time, I get it.”
Smiling ever so slightly, Regulus collapsed onto his bed. James tilted the laptop towards him with a questioning look, he nodded and quickly shuffled over to sit on the other boys bed.
God, this man is doing things to Regulus that he does not like. Oh but he really does.
Next part
#marauders#jegulus#james potter#regulus black#james x regulus#jegulus fic#rosekiller#jegulus microfic#pandalily#regulus x james#starchaser#sunseeker#cmbyn references because that is my absolute life#writers on tumblr
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Tangled Up In Your Bedsheets (and in your arms)
Author: feuxx, Imagined
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 22, 100
Details: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Ygraine de Bois (Merlin), Idiots in Love, Falling in Love, Non-Explicit Sex, POV Merlin (Merlin), First Meetings, Holidays, First Kiss, References to Depression, Alternate Universe - Mocern Setting, Self-Esteem Issues, Reverse Big Bang Challenge, Digital Art.
Summary: Merlin parts the orange in two when he’s finished peeling. The juice streams over his wrist and upper arm, and he licks it off absentmindedly before he hands over one half to Arthur. Arthur hesitates for a moment, something strange flickering over his expression before he takes his part.
“They’re best shared,” Merlin tells him, and puts a slice to his lips.
Or: When PhD student Merlin Wyllt flies to a tiny, faraway Italian town for a summer job with Professor Ygraine du Bois, he finds himself unexpectedly at odds with her son, Arthur.
But not only oranges blossom in summer, and Merlin finds that he and Arthur have a lot to learn from—and about—one another
#tangled up in your bedsheets (and in your arms)#feuxx#imagined#merthurao3recs#cmbyn#call me by your name inspired#call me by your name#idiots in love#falling in love#bbc merlin#non-explicit sex#first meetings#holidays#holiday romance#first kiss#reference to depression#ao3 fanfiction#ao3 merthur#merthur#self-esteem issues#reverse big bang challenge#digital art#merlin and arthur are in love#romantic holiday#alternate universe - modern setting#pov merlin#merlin x arthur pendragon#alternate universe - movie fusion#lovers
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I haven’t been on here for ages so apologies if this is off limits or already spoken about but it looks like P’s brother has a boyfriend now? Makes me happy how many queer people he has close to him
No, this is brand new information. So it looks like he was at dinner with a man on Insta, is this the basis of the theory? I know people have questioned Nell and Lucy before...
#asks#maybe the cmbyn reference their mom made was for Don not Paul#what if Paul is the only straight one
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has anyone made that "not every actor has 'gay movie', 'gay movie', 'gay movie'" meme yet with timmy chalamet? 'cause they should
#i mean cmbyn and the dune movies are right there#surely there's gay moments in his other films#timothée chalamet#timothee chalamet#btw when i refer to both dune movies the pairings would be paul/duncan and paul/feyd for pt 1 and 2 respectively
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is a cmbyn summer just like... a summer in Italy?? or is it like... spiritual or something idk i haven't watched the movie
it's funny to see videos about it cuz all I can think about is when i was in italy for the summer and this large wasp with long legs flew into the bathroom and I ran out and slammed the door HELP
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ohhhhhh there were peaches all over the set in mac finds his pride because there are peaches called "mac's pride"
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Call me by your name if Elio and Oliver are related 💀

he has completely won me over this press tour 🤩
#saxloch#saxlan#saxon ratliff#lochlan ratliff#the white lotus#always love a cmbyn references 🤡#i will go down with this ship... literally
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enviers goin’ to envy
PAIRING: best-friend’s brother!rafe x fwb!fem!reader
SUMMARY: envy gets the best of you when you hear about rafe and a new girl.
WORD COUNT: 1132
WARNINGS: suggestive content; casually dominant rafe; mentions of sex; light swearing
EDITH SPEAKS: I haven’t written in god knows how long, and even though university was a major contributor, my country’s current status contributed just as enough, if not more. I’m extremely relieved to say that things have simmered down quite a bit, but nothing is certain so I don’t want to get my hopes up. I hope that anyone else who lives near the borders is safe and sound <3
Besides this, I’m really glad I was able to write something after so long! I was watching cmbyn for the very first time, and the reference is right in the first line. When I heard that line, trust, I immediately opened my doc and started writing this piece without even seeing what happened next in the movie :p so yeah! I hope you like reading this 💞💞 feedback is always highly appreciated xx
masterlist / join my taglist / requests



“We almost had sex last night… Eliza and me,”
Well, that caught your attention just as he had intended.
You lifted your head up from your plate to catch a glance of Rafe from the corner of your eye, and you saw how he was just busy eating, his gaze on his plate, but you could see it: the hink of a smirk on his face.
There were multiple things going on in your head. The thought on the forefront was what kind of topic this was to bring up on the dinner table? And why was everyone acting so unfazed? Was his sex life a regular dinner topic at their house?
But, besides this extraordinarily loud thought, the other thoughts mainly revolved around two names, which also somehow became the main characters of your life; an entirely unintentional move from your side.
Rafe Cameron and Eliza Cooper.
“Wow, sounds interesting,” Sarah rolled her eyes from next to you, going back to eating her greens. You could feel Rafe’s gaze on Sarah and you, so you made sure to not lift your head up even once from your plate.
“Oh trust me, it was more than interesting,” he said, and his pride was dripping from every word rolling off his tongue.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but no one cares Rafe,” Sarah snapped back, and you mentally thanked your best friend from stopping whatever seizure Rafe’s probable next words would’ve given you.
“Oh please, everyone’s interested enough,” and Rafe’s gaze was set on you. You could feel his eyes practically seeing through you – all your thoughts and emotions, and exactly just what his words were making you feel.
You didn’t know what this complex bundle of emotions was inside you, yet you felt Rafe knew exactly what it was.
“It was at Topper’s party yesterday, we found ourselves in a nice bedroom, things were going absolutely great. I could tell, she really, really wanted me,”
Wow. Now he was just being straight up evil.
“Rafe, son, as eclectic as this conversation is, I’d prefer it if it doesn’t happen on the dinner table yeah?” Ward spoke up, and that shut Rafe up the way you had wanted since that mouth of his had opened.
Everyone fell quiet, the only sound being of forks and knives scraping across the ceramic plates.
“I think I’m going to ask Eliza to be my girlfriend–”
“I need to go to the bathroom.”
Your words were quick, cutting smoothly across Rafe’s voice as you immediately stood up from your chair. Everyone looked at you, and you just knew everyone could see how the color had practically drained from your face.
“You okay sweetie? You look a little… pale there,” Rose said softly. You looked down and you saw how tightly you were gripping the fork in your hand. You let go of it and kept it in your unfinished plate with a light clatter.
“I’m fine, just- just need to use the washroom,” you muttered, and left the dining table. You could feel everyone’s gaze on you as you left, but Rafe’s– Rafe’s gaze just felt like a laser beam.
You were quick to enter Sarah’s bathroom, where you stood in front of the mirror, and looked at yourself.
Eliza? His girlfriend? Was he fucking serious?
You knew what it was: just a random girl he met, something to make you feel extremely jealous when you broke off your deal with him.
You thought you could stay away from him.
Yeah, yeah you could.
You could 100% stay away from the insanely sexy brother of your best friend, who you had a crush on for as long as you remember.
What a clown.
That’s what you thought you looked like when you looked at your reflection in the mirror. With shaky hands, you turned the tap on and splashed cold water on your face, as if that water could wash away all the thoughts from your mind.
Only if it was that easy.
With your head ducked down, you began to wipe your face off with a towel.
But as you lifted your face up to look at yourself in the mirror, you realised you were no longer alone.
“Rafe–”
Your words got cut off when Rafe’s palms pressed into your sides, the warmth of his chest spreading through your back.
“Shh,” he hushed quietly, his chin resting in the crook of your shoulder. His arms wrapped firm around your waist and he pulled you into him, the action causing your breath to get hitched in your throat.
“My girl got so jealous, didn’t she?” Rafe murmured, his lips pressing to the shell of your ear.
The way he was holding you, the way his chest was pressed right up to your back, and the way his voice was travelling through your ear; you knew you were turning into a mush.
A mush only Rafe Cameron could make of you.
When you didn���t respond with anything, Rafe chuckled softly, beginning to press the most gentle kisses to the skin behind your ear.
“Hm, I know you were,” he whispered, kissing a trail down to the side of your neck. Your body wasn’t under your control anymore, with the way your breathing picked up pace and you leaned your head to the side to give him space.
“And you know what?” He whispered further, now kissing in the crook of your neck, finding a particularly sensitive spot that made you gasp softly, “that was exactly what I wanted. To see my girl jealous. Now I know she wants me.”
Rafe’s hands were swift to turn you around, so that you were facing him. Your back pressed into the sink behind you, and you were efficiently trapped between the cold sink and Rafe’s warm body.
He could see you were avoiding eye contact, so a finger came right under your chin to direct your gaze back at him.
“Am I wrong?” He whispered, his other hand exercising a firm grip on your waist to keep you in place.
You shook your head, your lips parted just slightly as short breaths escaped them.
“Good girl,” he murmured softly, and god that praise did something to you.
And just as you thought Rafe would do something to help with the ache of pure need that lit up every nerve of your body, he let go of you and stepped back.
“It’s rude to leave your dinner unfinished,” he said, his hand already on the doorknob to open the bathroom door. “Be there in two, yeah?”
And with that, he left.
Now, if it would’ve been any other man commanding you this way, you wouldn’t have tolerated it for even a second.
But this wasn’t any other man.
This was Rafe.
⊹₊⋆.˚୨୧⋆.˚₊ ⊹
taglist: @oxpogues4lifexo / @inthelibrarybtw / @mccaffreyswifey / @chenslucy / @totalswag / @wearemadeofstardust0 / @percysley / @superswaggycooch / @kaileashiftz / @weirdowithnobeardo / @chimchimjiminie16 / @ursovaine / @mariamadison6-blog / @snowtargaryen / @htlkira / @acidfeens / @r4fe-cam3ron
tagging a few moots: @runningfrom2am / @ilyrafe / @zyafics / @nemesyaaa / @ladyinbl00d / @jjsbank444 / @b1mb0slvt / @maddsxfall
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron oneshot#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron concept#drew starkey#𓂃𓏲 ⋆˙ ₊˚⊹ written by edith ꒷ ᵎᵎ#𓂃𓏲 ⋆˙ ₊˚⊹ edith writes rafe cameron ꒷ ᵎᵎ#𓂃𓏲 ⋆˙ ₊˚⊹ divider by daddldee ꒷ ᵎᵎ
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—A SUMMER’S TALE.

pairing: vada cavell x reader
synopsis: the summer before college, vada joins mia's family on vacation in france and falls in love with the scenery, and a charismatic lifeguard.
word count: 9.6k
warnings: talk of the shooting
a/n: it's summer so you know my cmbyn flare ups are happening. i’ve been writing this for a few weeks now and i’m super pumped it’s done. pls let me now what you like, what you don’t like about this! i’d really appreciate some feedback!! and i’m sorry if i can’t reply to you if you comment on this as this acc is a secondary blog

The villa had one feature that stood out in particular—a hallway that ran through the base of the house, connecting the kitchen to the open grass area in the back. Even the tiniest gust of wind could collect into a large breeze to combat the sticky heat of the day.
Vada closed her eyes and lifted her arms by her side as she felt the breeze glide through her. She could smell an earthy, hay-like smell of flowers that had been bathing in sunlight wafting in from the garden behind the villa. It didn’t take much to notice; summer in southern France was in full swing.
I could live here, she thought. Four weeks of this? Away from the repetitive scenery of the American suburbs, away from expectations. Only a few minutes since she’s gotten off the car and seen the yellow walls and red bricks of the Mediterranean villa, and she’s been buzzing ever since. She’s never actually left the country before, and the long flight over was jarring, to say the least. But the beauty of what she saw as soon as she landed made up for it.
Mia had instructed her to come along upstairs to put her things away; Vada would be occupying the guest room next to hers. She swore her friendship with Mia Reed started because they both went through a traumatic thing together, but it was moments like these when she was grateful for the perks.
“I could use a nap,” Mia said, rubbing her face.
It was nearly nine in the morning when the girls finished unpacking. Mia’s parents had given them the morning to get settled and get used to the jet lag.
“I’m not too tired,” Vada said, “maybe I’ll go into town for the morning.”
“You sure you don’t need me to come with you?”
“Yeah, it’ll be fun. It’s about time I put my four years of high school French to the test.”
The road into town winded downhill, and she was grateful she used one of the bikes the Reeds had available at their villa, as she would have dreaded the trek back up, had she gone on foot. She mapped out exactly the way into the town square and was determined to check everything out before returning for lunch. Thank god for Google Maps.
She had also bought a paper map of the town in a nearby kiosk and, after nearly two hours of exploring, mapped out a general layout of notable places in town. There was a fountain in the middle of the square in front of a church that Vada would use as a reference for everything; from the Fountain facing the church going left would be the town hall and that little kiosk, going right would be the local post office and the way back to the villa, opposite the church facing ahead lead down a slanted cobblestone alley full of restaurants and gift shops, as well as the way to the beach.
It must have been in the high 80s (30s Celsius) that day, so Vada decided to reward herself with some ice cream in the town square before she headed back. It was so hot that when sitting on a bench in the shades, she still had to try and keep the ice cream from melting all over her lap.
“Lillian’s ice cream is nice, but it melts quickly. You should try Karim’s down the street.”
Vada looked up at the voice in surprise, as it was English that was being spoken to her.
“Oh, totally!” She replied quickly. “How did you know I speak English?”
“I haven’t seen you around here.”
“But I could have also known French, right?”
“Touché, but I also recognize a compatriot when I see one.”
You wore an oversized white button-up that barely skirted past your black shorts, and your flip-flops indicated that you might have had a better idea of what the weather was going to be like as opposed to her in her high-neck basketball shoes. Peaking out from between the hem of your shirt was a necklace in the shape of a hummingbird, dangling and reflected in the sun.
“That obvious, huh?”
“Maybe a little." You grinned and shook your head from side to side. "Only tourists go to Lillian for ice cream.”
“So you’re not one, I assume.”
“I wouldn’t say so, no. My family has been coming here every summer ever since I was eight. These people are probably sick of me by now.” You chuckled.
This is your time, Vada, be smooth. “Lucky for you, you’ll have someone new to entertain.” She grinned and pointed at herself.
. . . Adequate.
The melodic laugh that escaped you gave her a new-found confidence, and she decided that it was to be her new favorite sound.
“Alright, since you seem to know the area so well,” Vada said. “What’s fun to do around here?”
Conversation flowed so easily between the two of you, she had almost forgotten that she only met you 15 minutes ago. Granted, you were also easy on the eye, and Vada would always remember the way the water from the fountain reflected in waves across your skin.
At one point she had started talking about the time her family got stranded in the middle of nowhere on a road trip to Phoenix. Vada felt like she was talking too much, but the way you laughed along with her story made her feel like it wasn’t for naught.
The bell tower of the church rang throughout the square. Vada widened her eyes and checked her phone, it was noon.
"Shit, I have to get back. My host family's gonna wonder where I am." She stood up quickly and collected her bike. The height of the seat and her haste caused her to stumble, and she would have fallen if not for you grabbing her by the arm and holding her up.
"Oh, okay. I’m sure there’s a story about a daytime Cinderella somewhere.”
She looked up and you were smirking. "Vada," she said. Maybe she shouldn’t have told you, Cinderella was fine, you didn’t know each other.
She could barely make out your attempt at her name on your lips before you nodded.
“Y/N.” You held your hand out for her to take. There was that touch that changed the course of her summer, the one touch that set into motion a journey toward a certain feeling that Vada had never felt before.
"Bye, Y/N!" She called behind her before rounding the corner, past the post office, and back to the Reed villa.
Mia had been waiting by the front door and breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted Vada cycling uphill.
"Where the hell have you been? We thought you'd been kidnapped!"
"Wait, could you get kidnapped here?" Vada’s face dropped at the thought, even though she was positively out of breath.
"You could get kidnapped anywhere, V."
"Well, I got lost." She hopped off her bike and set it by the entrance. "My phone died so I couldn't use Maps."
Her friend rolled her eyes and led her inside where a hearty lunch awaited. It was mid-June and apricots were in season for dessert.

It wasn't until late afternoon the next day that Vada regained the energy to go outside again. The jet lag had finally caught on, and she spent the morning asleep until noon. Mia had suggested going to the beach, which was great because she could see how things were, and either get into the water or take another nap.
Mia—being Mia—wore her bathing suit and a thin cardigan as her attire, while Vada decided on wearing an oversized tee and shorts over her bathing suit.
"Don't freak out. I've invited some friends. Just kids from the area," said Mia, once they arrived at the beach.
Vada stayed back, as Mia was greeted by several people similar in age to her, speaking in French at a pace her high school education couldn’t help her understand.
“This is Vada, she’s a friend from home.”
A curly-headed boy stood up from his lounge chair and sauntered over to give Mia a kiss on each cheek, then looked over to Vada and did the same. “Corentin, but please call me Coco,” he said and took both their bags. Vada didn’t miss the way his eyes lingered on Mia’s form a bit longer than normal.
“Come, Vada! Mia, where have you been hiding this one? I’m Marlène. This is Sasha.” The brunette pulled her by the hand and gestured to the boy sitting next to her. He was slender with blonde hair part in the middle. “We’re about to go into the water if you want to join.”
“Where’s Noémie?” asked Mia.
“Déjà à l’eau. No doubt to show off to the lifeguard.” Sasha snickered, nodding his head towards the water. He took another drag from his cigarette and rested his arm back against Marlène’s chair.
“Speaking of the lifeguard . . .” Vada followed Marlène’s gaze towards . . . you.
Her mouth hung open as she watched you, in red shorts and a white T-shirt, a whistle hanging from your neck. You pulled your sunglasses up to your head and gave Mia la bise.
Of course, she thought. She had hoped to see you again, but only when there was no one else around, and that you’d catch her by surprise when she was alone once more. She��d only met you, but she wished that she could have you all alone, not like a secret, but like a prized possession.
“And just how many people have died while you’re on watch?” Mia teased.
“Zero, but very soon,” you pointed at her, “one.”
When you turned to Vada, her breath hitched. “Hi,” you greeted with that warm smile again. Even in your work attire, she spotted that necklace next to your whistle.
“Y/N, this is—”
“Vada, the daytime Cinderella. We met yesterday in the square.” You replied. “Did I forget to mention I work here?”
Vada was grinning like an idiot, her cheeks tinted pink at the nickname. “Yup, you did.”
“Y/N!” Over jogged a gorgeous girl, even Vada had to admit. Her black bathing suit hugged her curves perfectly, and though her hair was completely wet, the water droplets clinging to her olive skin made her glow. “T'as prévu aller en boîte ce week-end, ou bien? J'ai chopé l'info qu'y a un nouveau DJ en ville, et il envoie du pâté!”
She was clinging onto your arm, and speaking way too fast for Vada to understand, but she picked up on some keywords: ce week-end, and nouveau DJ.
When she finally noticed Vada there, her excitement subsided, but she walked over anyway to greet her, like an afterthought. “Salut. I’m Noémie.”
“Hi. Vada.”
Just as quickly as you arrived, Noémie had led you away, talking your ear off about something that Vada didn’t have the heart to eavesdrop on. Her eyes followed your form, picking up on the way you kept your arms by your side even when Noémie was practically hanging off of you. In a sporadic moment, Vada thought she saw you looking back over her shoulder at the friend group, and maybe toward her.
“Your phone died, huh?” Mia poked her elbow into her side with a teasing grin.
“Shut up,” Vada murmured. “What’s the deal with them anyway?”
“They were together last summer,” Sasha replied, then turned to the others. “Plan cul, how do you say?”
“A fling, but Noémie seems more attached than Y/N ever did,” said Coco.
“No doubt Y/N has already found a new paramour for the summer,” Marlène commented.
“It’s summertime. Anything’s possible.”

As much as she hated it, you plagued her mind, much more than she cared to admit. She didn’t want to think about what your initial conversation meant to you (if it did at all), or what the lack of words in your second meeting meant. She didn’t want to think about Noémie either, how she seemed so confident to get your attention, and an up-and-down look from her made Vada want to crawl into a hole.
She remembered the handshake. The speed at which she rode away wasn’t entirely to get home in time before Mia’s parents called the police, but to get away from the butterflies that burst in her stomach that moment her hand firmly shook yours. She’d seen how you greeted your friends, but to her, she offered a handshake. Though the gesture itself was completely platonic and can be passed off as a farewell between two strangers, she felt a sense of exclusivity, that American camaraderie you shared with her in a foreign land. Common courtesy as a mode of intimacy. Revisiting it now, Vada recognized it as a sign of attraction and an apprehension to the speed at which it enveloped her.
She would see you around town in your work uniform after your shift, sometimes you’d be talking to people, sometimes you were the buyer yourself. No matter the person though—from the tourists asking for directions to the old owner of the bookstore by the fountain, they always loved you and talked to you like you were their best friend. She’d see you from afar, wanting to talk to you, but then get anxious the moment you spotted her a give her a friendly wave.
Then there were times when you would come by the Reed villa. Philip and Andre always received you like you were an esteemed guest, gifting you fruits from the trees in the backyard. She loved to see how you acted around different people, and to the Reeds who had known you for years, you were awful shy.
“Invite your parents over. We should all have dinner sometime!”
“Oh, my parents aren’t here this summer. My dad’s busy with a conference in Singapore, but they’ll drop by at the end of July.”
Even the times you were invited to stay for supper, it was clear you knew how to hold a conversation over the dinner table. She wondered if you were studying to be a politician because you seemed to charm everyone and had the best manners. Mia would not-so-subtly yield the spot next to you for Vada, and secretly, she was glad to be sitting next to you.
For the first time in her life, she felt a force holding her back, preventing her from reaching out. Maybe it was because she had only known you for a couple of weeks but felt like you’d always been there, like a puzzle finally piecing together.
And every time, right before you left, after you had said goodbye to the Reeds, you’d find her somehow. “Bye,” would be all you said with an adoring smile, but Vada would be thinking about it until the next day.
She and Mia met up with the group again one night, this time at a nearby open-air disco. When she arrived, she could spot Sasha and Marlène already twirling each other around on the dance floor, she was laughing as he spun her around, cigarette between his lips. She felt a pang of envy, imagining that it was your arms around her waist instead as you spun her around without a care in the world, in front of everyone. Let them see. Let them see that you’re mine and I’m yours. If she were being honest, she only agreed to come just so she could see you again. She found you sitting at a table with Coco and Noémie, chatting away.
“Hi.” Her attention was focused on you. She couldn’t be more sober, and she wished she had taken a few puffs before coming.
As if having read her mind, Coco pulled out a couple of joints, lighting one and taking a puff himself before passing it to Noémie.
“You partake?” You shouted over the loud music.
“Oh, she partakes.” Mia nodded enthusiastically. “The first time she did weed she smoked most of my joint. Then proceeded to blabber on nonstop for two hours.”
You let out a laugh. “I like this one!”
She hated, despised even, the overwhelming feeling of wanting to be near you, to impress you, to feel special in your eyes as you were in hers. It was human nature; everyone liked feeling special, but somehow getting validation from you would make her ten times happier. She sat two seats away from you—next to Mia and Noémie—and once in a while, she would try and dart her eyes over to look at you ever so subtly. On a couple of occasions, her heart would jump when she noticed you were already looking back.
A few minutes later, Vada started to feel the effect of the weed, and Mia must have too because she pulled her toward the dance floor. Looking back, she saw you talking to Noémie. You didn’t look too happy and neither did she, having her arms crossed in front of her chest. Then, she walked outside and you followed her impatiently. When you returned, a polite smile was on your face when you noticed her looking for you.
“Are you okay?” She shouted, the weed had made her feel bold.
“Yeah! Everything’s fine.” You shouted back.
It might have been the weed or it was something that’s already been there, but Vada couldn’t take her eyes off of you. She took you by the hand, and there was that same spark of electricity again. You let her guide you, your hands never leaving hers as you moved with her.
It was about a quarter to midnight when everyone decided to split because frankly, everyone was too tired to continue. Vada said goodbye to Sasha and Marlène, the latter of whom gave her a big hug and repeatedly expressed her delight that Vada had decided to join them. Coco, already sober, offered to drive Mia home, but his ride was a scooter.
“Sorry, les gars,” Coco smiled sheepishly and asked Mia if she was ready, to which the girl only nodded.
“I’ll walk you home.” You said quietly, surprisingly timid. “Promise me you won’t turn into a pumpkin at midnight?”
She huffed through her nose and gave you a shove, but she was grinning. It was just the two of you now. Her pride was on the line, and so was her heart.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Your voice cut through the stillness of the night. Before that, the only sounds were that of your shoes brushing against the ground and the soft sighs of the ocean.
“Is everything okay with Noémie?”
You averted your eyes, your hand coming up to play with the hummingbird on your neck.
Maybe she shouldn’t have. “Shit, did I overstep?”
“No, no. It’s fine. It’s just Noë being Noë, she was out of line.” Your walls were up. “We were always close, she was the first friend I made here. And last summer we slept together.”
“Oh.” Her steps faltered.
“I stopped it before it could progress into anything beyond that, though. I’m just not ready.”
Vada nodded slowly. Loud and clear. Maybe that was the signal she needed, the insecure part of her thought it was that, but when she was with you, all she wanted to do was listen to the other part.
“I slept with Mia once, sophomore year.”
You looked over at her, seemingly surprised. “Mia? Huh. Never would have thought.”
“It was just that, though.” She flashed you a smile.
Vada felt that surge of closeness between you, your arm swinging beside her as you walked. The obsession with finding anything to relate to you prompted her to say it, like Hey, I’m like you, I know how you feel. Maybe it wasn’t the best thing to tell you, she might have screwed up.
You mirrored her smile, but something about it told her that your heart wasn’t entirely in it. Tell me what you’re thinking, Y/N. She wanted to get inside your head and know everything you were thinking, to go all the way with that closeness. Even as friends, one has to start from somewhere.

It was radio silence from you for the next few days. Vada came up with all the excuses as to what it could have been, and when she grew tired and angry at herself for thinking so much about you, she tried to distract herself by doing other things. She helped Philip collect figs from the trees in the backyard; she looked up the fortress nearby you told her about the day you met and biked all the way over there, even though it was a half an hour's ride each way; she finally took out the book she packed with her and began reading it whilst sunbathing. It was starting to feel like a summer that she should be enjoying.
Her mom called and was happy to hear that her daughter was going outside and doing fun things. “The people are nice,” Vada would say, “I met some of Mia’s friends.” And in true Mom fashion, her mom would quickly squeeze in a “Don’t do drugs and use protection” to which she ended the call and almost threw her phone across the room.
She would also call Nick every other day. I met someone, she said one day after having finally gathered the courage to vocalize her crush. Girl, I know. Mia had told him. When? Literally the second day. She said you were so obvious.
It was as if the weather knew too. It started raining all day when she decided to go to the beach one day, souring her mood entirely. She would sit by the entrance in the backyard watching the rain, and sure enough, she was thinking about what you were doing on the opposite end of town.
“It’s unlike you to be so hung up on someone,” Mia told her when they were hanging out in Mia’s room.
“I’m not hung up on someone,” her words trailed at the end, mindlessly flipping through the magazine in front of her.
“So am I just crazy for thinking that you want to pounce on Y/N every three seconds?”
“Okay, but what about you and Coco? He follows you around everywhere like a lost puppy.”
“Coco’s just shy,” her friend blushed. “And stop changing the subject.”
“There’s nothing between us, at least not yet.”
“So you do want something to happen.”
“Shut up! Mia!” She hid her face behind her hands and writhed on Mia’s bed in embarrassment. “I’m not talking to you about this anymore.”
“Alright, alright,” Mia held her hands up as her laughter subsided.
“Look, I just want to—” Vada took a moment. “I want to test the waters, okay? Y/N is special, and I don’t want to ruin anything.”
Mia nodded, understanding. “I just don’t want you to be misled. I mean, you’ve seen how it was with Noémie.”
“I know.” Vada smiled softly. “I know what I’m getting into. Zero expectations.”
She wanted to believe what she told Mia too, but then when she saw texts from you the next day, there was no hiding that a connection was what she so tirelessly wanted, and needed.
hey it’s y/n Sent 3:23pm
mia gave me your number, i hope you don’t mind Sent 3:23pm
call me when you see this? Sent 3:24pm
Damn you, Mia, but also, thank you.
She didn’t work up enough courage to call you until later that night. Of course, it could have been something dire, but then you would have called her first, right? I am such a wimp.
“Hello?”
“Hi,” she rubbed her hands against her shorts. “it’s Vada. You wanted me to call you?”
“Yeah. I was gonna just text you, but I don’t know . . .” You hesitated for a moment. “Anyway, you ever been to Antibes?”
“No, why?”
“Well, I’m going there on Friday for my apprenticeship, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with? I’m just giving some manuscripts to my mentor, and then leaving them with him for a few hours to review, so we can make a fun day out of it. It’s a one-hour drive, so I don’t plan on staying overnight.”
“Friday you said?” Vada took a deep breath to still her racing heart. “I don’t think I got anything better to do that day.”
“Great!” You said. “I’ll pick you up at 9am?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Cool, see you then!”
There was something frightening about when things go exactly how you wanted them. It was inch-perfect, the puzzle pieces just slotted in place as if they were always fated to be. You were the first to reach out; she thought it would be easier that way, she’d just have to take your hand and come along. But there was a certain apprehension that Vada had as if she was walking straight into the lion’s den like a deer blinded by hunger. What if she loses her heart? She was aware of the dangers of heartbreak, of course—she was no fool—but the thought of giving her heart to you, then watching you walk away with it like an unwanted gift was too devastating.
Mia was practically bouncing off the walls when Vada told her about the phone call, saying that in all seven years of knowing you, she had never been special enough to receive a call. She didn’t exactly say the latter part, but she all but implied it.
On Friday morning, Vada woke up earlier than usual, made herself some breakfast, and was already waiting at the door with a backpack by 8:45. No later than 9:05, you arrived with a Volkswagen Golf, sunglasses on, and a bright smile.
“Music?” You offered, turning on Bluetooth. “Also, if you need a pee break, please tell me. Bladders can be untimely.”
“Noted,” Vada giggled.
The car ride was mostly silent, aside from the music you let her pick and the fun facts you enlightened her with about some of the landmarks you drive past.
“That one I believe was built in the later 1600s and owned by a minor Provence viscount. It was also in a strategic location for the military until it was abandoned after the French Revolution. Also, the viscount built the castle for his second wife, but she died shortly after giving birth to their child.”
“That’s a little sad,” said Vada.
“She was also 14 when she died and he was in his 50s.”
Vada grimaced. “Maybe death was a sweet relief.”
“Yeah. It was more common back in the day than you think.”
“How do you know all this?” She brought her legs up against her chest.
“I like history. I like to learn about the areas I’m in, and in the time that I’ve been here, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to learn.”
She watched your side profile for a moment. “You mentioned some manuscripts. What is it for?”
“Is this an interview now?” You laughed and glanced over at her, and she looked down with a blush. “It’s for my bachelor’s thesis. Technically I don’t start writing until next year, but I like to practice whenever I can. This one that I’m giving to my mentor is a collection of essays.”
“Can I read them?” You looked over for a moment, then reached behind you to grab a file of paper and handed it to her.
Vada settled back and opened the first pages, and read in silence. She could feel you spare short glances at her from time to time, nervously watching for her reaction, but she was so engrossed in your writing it almost didn’t matter that you were sitting next to her. This might have been what it feels like to peer into someone’s soul, to see the traces of fresh blood as they lay their heart onto paper.
It was a beautiful sunny day, the waters shone a deep turquoise, and the French Riviera looked glorious as ever. And yet, she could only get lost in your words.
“This is beautiful,” Vada breathed, setting the papers down on her lap. “You’re amazing.”
You looked ahead at the road, eyes covered by shades, but your large grin was unmissable.
You parked the car on the side of the street in front of several apartment buildings. “Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back.” Vada only nodded and watched you cross the street with the manuscripts in your hand. She liked how it felt between you two, and she would gladly accompany you on every trip until you were sick of her.
Mere minutes later, you returned. “I hope you’re ready for the best adventure of your life.”
Only, she knew it would be.
You first led her to the market in the vieille ville, where you bought some fruits and snacks for the way. Vada also got to witness firsthand your bargaining skills, asking for a price and then pretending to walk away until the vendor becomes desperate enough to settle. “I used to be really bad at this, but then I watched my mom do it, and now I kind of just do. These vendors hike up their prices for tourists like crazy.” You walked away proudly with a bag of food.
As the both of you walked through the picturesque alleys and streets, you proceeded to tell her more about the city and its history. She listened carefully, hanging onto every word that left your lips. You told her about how Antibes was first named Antipolis and part of Ancient Greece before it was built by the Romans in the time of Julius Caesar; how in the Middle Ages the city fell under the fiefdom of the Grimaldi family, the main branch of which is now royalty of Monaco.
“Sorry, you gotta stop me before I go on a tangent,” you chuckled, scratching the back of your neck. “I’ve been talking for ages.”
“No, I like it.” She said quickly. “I like listening to you talk. It’s no surprise many artists were so taken with this place.”
You raised your eyebrows in surprise.
“Hemingway, Picasso, and Monet all had a fascination with this city.” She had to look that up, but you didn’t need to know that.
“That’s right,” you nodded. “In fact, I’ll show you the spot where Monet painted one of his paintings later.”
After lunch, you both walked along the city walls that looked out to the beach.
“I’m just saying, Ratatouille piqued a lot of interest in the dish, and it wasn’t a coincidence. I mean, I’ve never tried it but I’d love to, just because it looked so good in the movie.” Vada said.
“You’ve never had ratatouille?!” You exclaimed loudly making Vada laugh. “Man, it’s a staple here in southern France! I’ll have to make you some because that is just criminal.”
“Okay, Chef Remy. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Actually, I’ll make a whole batch for you and the Reeds too. They always give me fruits from their backyard,” you said. “How did you meet Mia anyway?”
At the question, Vada’s smile collapsed into a frown. “Um . . .” You watched her, a confused look on your face. “I’ve always known who she was. I mean, it’s Mia, you know? But one day we met officially in the bathroom at school.”
“Oh,” you voiced. You must be confused as to why that was so hard to squeeze out, but the latter part, the part she kept hidden, she had been trying to squeeze out for two years.
“We were in the bathroom while there was a shooting going on.”
You opened your mouth to say something, but you only ended up watching her. Then, a moment later, “I didn’t mean to . . .”
“No, it’s fine.” Vada shook her head. “You didn’t know.”
“I’m so sorry. You don’t have to tell me anything else if you don’t want to.” Your eyes softened and you looked like you had kicked a puppy.
“I know,” she said, taking a breath.
“I see it on the news all the time, but I can’t imagine what it’s like to be there,” you said quietly. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”
Vada hated having to talk about it. If she could have it her way, she would bury it deep down so it never sees the light of day again. Still, she has to talk about it to her friends, her family, her therapist sometimes. She hated talking about it because she’d have to see the way people’s faces contort uncomfortably as they scramble to find consoling words to say. They don’t make her feel any better, and she never liked people seeing that broken side of her reflected back at them.
But when she looked at you right now, there wasn’t a trace of ego in the way that you look back at her. Deep down, she had always wanted to lay it on you, to give you a piece of her, not because she had to, but because she wanted to.
Because she wanted you to see it.
Vada found your hand by your side, soft and comforting. She kept her eyes on them; her hand and your hand, intertwined together. You embraced it and rubbed the back of her hand with your thumb before kissing it. A kiss of friendship, a kiss of love, a kiss of two young people in a city far from home together who had only just met. A kiss that said I see you, I hear you, you’ve got me around your corner.
“You wanna go grab some dinner?” She asked.
Dinner turned into even more talk. Towards late afternoon, you said you wanted to catch the sunset before going to the spot you claimed Monet painted the city. It was a quick drive, but you pumped your fists in the air when you got out of the car and were happy with how the sun rolled over the city just right.
“Come on, you’re gonna miss it!” You jogged towards the edge of the water, beaming like a little kid. It had become natural between the two of you to share skin-ship.
Behind the trees, there it was. Across the blue water, Antibes basked in the last few rays of sunlight in stoic tranquility, just as Monet had seen it. Perhaps she was in one of Monet’s paintings, frozen in time, stuck with you.
She found your hand again, your left this time, and once again your gaze followed, but this time, you trailed your gaze to her eyes. God help me, she thought.
There were so many things Vada wanted to blurt out, and she was close to it. Holding back was never her strong suit, but once she got a good look at the depth of your eyes, she felt that they were better appreciated in silence. Words don’t do anything but snitch on you anyway.
She didn’t need to, because the moment she turned to look at you, she felt you grab her face gently and lay the softest kiss on her lips.
The sun continued to glare, yet Antibes stared on.
Did Monet ever paint lovers?

Liar.
Liar.
Vada felt like she’d make a mistake for giving in to it. She saw her younger self in the square that day, by the fountain, eating ice cream. She saw you talking to her, and she wanted to scream and tell herself to stop, to save herself the heartache. No one else was to blame, not even you, only her.
Antibes was a week ago, and she hasn’t really spoken to you ever since. She replayed the kiss over and over in her head, trying to pinpoint exactly the moment when you decided that keeping your distance would be the best course of action.
But then she remembered the way you acted alone with her was much different than how you were with the others around. She saw the way your eyes linger on her when you thought she was admiring the sea. She noticed the way you smiled bashfully when she brought up how good your essays were in front of your mentor. She remembered how you never let go of her hand when she grabbed it while you watched the sunset.
Marlène and Sasha had been a big help in getting her out of her slump. Mia was there to cuddle with her the first couple of nights after Vada told her everything, but rendezvous with Coco had kept her busy. But Marlène and Sasha were cool, and probably one of the healthiest couples she’s ever seen at the age of 20. She felt like their adoptive child hanging out with them, especially when Sasha would greet her by endearingly calling her Petit Vada.
“And have you talked to her?” Marlène asked, leaning over the lounge chair. She and Vada had been sunbathing and swimming at the Reed villa that afternoon.
“No.” Vada sighed. “It’s just—I just don’t get it! Why does she have to be so mysterious all the time? Like one moment we would be fine, and the next she’s somewhere else, someone else entirely.”
“That’s Y/N,” Marlène chuckled and took a sip from her margarita. “You know, when I and Sash first got together, he wasn’t as talkative as he is now. In fact, I was the one to ask him out. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and tell them.”
“That’s so easy to say,” Vada muttered, and put her face in her hands.
“That’s the kind of attitude you should save for when you go back to your other life, your American life. Are you going to university this fall? Summer’s halfway over, you know? Are you going to mull over it and let it pass by you?”
“Yes.” Vada’s voice was muffled through her hands.
“Carpe diem, mon chère.” Marlène shrugged. “It’s cheesy but it’s true.”
Andre being the ever BBQ dad that he was, decided to host a get-together with some friends that night, and encouraged Mia to invite hers. Everyone that Vada met at the beach showed up, including Noémie, except for you.
“She said she was busy,” Noémie waved it off. Vada pursed her lips. The fact that you talked to Noémie first stirred uneasy envy in the pit of her stomach.
She didn’t have the stomach to sit outside and spoil everyone’s fun with her sour face (most of all she didn’t want to give Noémie that satisfaction), so she made a plate for herself and ate in the living room.
“Hey, kiddo,” she looked up and saw Philip walk past her toward the kitchen. “Not feeling the party?”
Vada made a face to indicate a yes, but she didn’t want to explain further. “Just not really in the mood, sorry.”
“It’s okay. You can’t stop Andre from barbecuing when he has the urge or he’d literally combust.”
She nodded and smiled. “We don’t want that.”
“We’re serving fruits now. Want me to get you some?” He pointed at her empty plate.
“Yes, please. Thanks.” She hesitated for a beat. “Hey, Philip?”
The man turned around.
“How did you know that you wanted to marry Andre?”
Philip contemplated for a second, then walked over to the couch where she sat, leaning against it. “I didn’t wake up one day and choose to propose to him, Vada. It’s just one of those things when you start to notice that gnawing feeling in your chest. And you’d have to ask yourself, ‘Would I be fine going the rest of my life without them?’”
Vada nodded slowly and smiled as the man went back to the kitchen. She opened her phone and went to your messages. The last text from you was from a week ago. She began typing.
can we talk? Sent 8:47pm
A mere five minutes later, you responded.
of course Sent 8:47pm
meet me at the fountain at 10? Sent 8:48pm
see u there Sent 8:48pm
Vada found you walking back and forth by the Fountain, one hand in deep your pants pocket, the other holding a cigarette between your thumb and index, and puffing it as if it would give you a lifeline. She got off her bike and set it by the railing of the Fountain where you stood.
“You smoke?”
“Not usually,” you attempted to smile, shaking your arms as if to shake off an invisible burden. You were anxious, it was clear.
Vada didn’t know what to say next, so she leaned against the railing of the Fountain, rolling a pebble back and forth underneath her shoe.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you earlier. I was busy.”
She nodded half-heartedly, not looking up. She wished you’d come up with a better excuse than that.
“Are you angry with me?”
“Angry’s a strong word, Y/N.”
Another puff. “Are you discontent with me?”
She should have prepared herself for the nit-picky bullshit from a writer. “I don’t have a valid reason to be upset with you, not really. Unless I’ve been reading this wrong.”
“You haven’t.” You answered quickly and met her eyes. “I promise. It wasn’t very mature of me. In fact, I think I acted like a total idiot. I’m really sorry.”
“Do you regret kissing me?”
“No, not at all. And you have to believe me.” You sighed exasperatedly, and she almost felt bad because you looked so anxious.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Vada stepped towards you, facing you head-on. “You’re asking me whether I’m upset with you, but I don’t even know what you’re thinking most of the time. And then you disappear as though I did something wrong! How fair is that?”
You nodded and took another drag from your cigarette. Then, you dropped the butt on the floor and stomped on it. “I’m thinking that I really want to kiss you right now.”
Vada scoffed. “I don’t believe you.”
You stood up from your spot against the railing, your face now inches from hers. “It’s true.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yeah, it is.”
She felt the exact moment her body became as light as a feather as your lips pressed against hers. Her hands clenched by her side, and come up to hold onto your shoulders, because she was afraid her legs might give out under her. You angled your face and deepened the kiss, and Vada sighed into your mouth. This is what the poets all wrote about, the inevitability of giving in to what you’ve wanted for so long. She’s caged in you in between her body and the Fountain, kissing you and touching you as though her life depended on it.
You moved to lower your kisses to her neck, but she leaned back and saw a dark look in your eyes.
The sound of a street musician playing the saxophone in the distance somewhere echoed through the square. Wordlessly, Vada took your hand.
She followed you by bike towards your house, which was towards the end of the street closer to the beach. You returned to speaking only one or two words to her, telling her to put her bike by the door next to yours, to take her shoes off before coming in, and whether she wanted some water.
“Nice place.” It was another thing that she never thought to ask you about, nor did you tell her. But it wasn’t a surprise that your family was loaded too, considering the vacation home in an area like this.
“Thanks. It’s my parents’, though.”
“What do they do again?”
“Well, my mom does interior design and my dad is a football agent.”
“Football agent? Who does he represent?”
“Mostly American players in Europe; Christian Pulisic, Luca de la Torre, Gio Reyna. I remember my dad bringing me along to dinner with Sergio Agüero once because he considered a move to LAFC. That was pretty cool.” You stood against the wall in the hallway, next to the staircase, kicking your feet aimlessly. The small talk was to cover up for something else.
You fell into a deep silence. Vada took a step forward under the yellow light of the hallway and took your hand, stroking it gently.
“Can I kiss you?” She asked quietly.
You and she both knew you were way past just kissing. This was new territory, and there would be no going back after this.
You nodded, and she surged forwards to kiss you slowly. This time, it felt different. You kissed her without the chastity and fear of being looked in on but without the hunger of overcoming lust. It was a perfect blend of passion and appreciation, a marriage of everything felt within the past few weeks.
You lead her upstairs, towards your room. Once inside, your lips were still glued to hers as you let her walk backward, though your eagerness made her trip on your feet and fall onto the mattress.
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry. ‘M sorry.” The two of you burst into a fit of giggles as you tried to make it up to her with a shower of kisses.
As her giggles quickly turned into pleasant sighs, she decided to surrender herself to you, to her deepest desires ever since the day she arrived. You had charmed her from the moment she laid eyes on you. But now to feel your hands on her in all the right places took her to new heights of pleasure that she’s never experienced before. How beautiful it was to be herself, to be here in this moment, and to cherish and be cherished by you. But most of all, to hear you whisper her name and profanities in the most sinful and vulnerable ways, so unlike your polished and composed self in front of other people.
Vada, Vada, Vada . . .
She awoke in the morning, the sun piercing through the horizontal slits of the shut windows. There was sweat sticking to her skin, but she didn’t want to get up and shower, not when you were still soundly asleep, arm loosely wrapped around her torso. It was then that she realized that you both were still very naked, but she reveled in the skin-to-skin contact like it was giving her strength and vitality. The golden hummingbird sat on your chest, rising and falling with each of your breaths.
Vada caught the moment your eyes fluttered open and focused on her. Then a smile.
“What time is it?” You asked.
Vada leaned over to check the clock on the wall. “7:41.”
You grumbled. “My shift starts at 8:30.”
“You better chop-chop then.”
“I don’t wanna go.”
“Then don’t.” Vada placed her chin on your upper chest. “Stay here with me, and we can recreate last night.”
You chuckled and kissed her once. “That sounds really tempting.”
And yet, you moved to get up, but she held you back. “Five more minutes.”
“Only five?” You smirked.
“You don’t think I can do it in five?”
You grinned like a Cheshire cat and settled back.
Vada had to let you go eventually, you let her stay at yours and do as she pleased. She suddenly remembered that she never texted Mia back about staying out overnight, and sure enough, flipped her phone over to a few missed calls and text messages. After texting her back and reassuring her that she was okay, she got up and went to take a shower.
You came back around four and, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, it felt like forever until you walked through the doors again. And the moment you did, she pounced on you like a lion.
“I’m so sweaty,” you laughed but soon became lost in the sensation of her lips against yours.
You made love again that afternoon. Vada could almost picture the routine that she and you so easily fell into, how the puzzle pieces fit together so seamlessly. It almost felt like she had cheated somehow to feel this way, that it truly felt as magical and wonderful as it was laying in your arms, both of you stark naked. You had showered and smelled much like lavender. Your eyes were closed but you weren’t asleep, as she watched your chest rise and fall steadily. Sometimes you would murmur something and she would talk to you quietly, knowing you were tired from a day’s work at the beach.
“I knew I liked you from the first day, at the Fountain,” you said.
“Then why didn’t you say anything?!” Vada looked up and hit your chest playfully.
“I didn’t want to come on too strong and scare you away!”
“Jesus Christ,” she sat up and put her face in her palms. “Y/N, I wanted you so badly. Like, I could not go a day without thinking about you. It was actually becoming unhealthy how much I did.”
“Oh? I’m flattered.” You smirked and rubbed her knee. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because . . . After Antibes, I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way.”
Your face dropped slightly. “I was scared to get close to someone. I think I caught myself then after we kissed. It was scary how much I wanted your company.”
Vada could understand. You’ve only known each other for three weeks. What were you to each other? Maybe it didn’t matter, there was something comforting about just existing as two souls being present with each other. She realized that the fear she’d harbored about losing her heart was all in vain; you never took it for yourself, you’d only pressed your hand against her chest and encouraged it to keep beating—to keep being hers—while you’d hoped that she would do the same to you.
“If you could go back to that day at the Fountain, and do it differently, would you?” Vada asked.
You thought for a second, then shook your head. “No. I always want to remember you this way.”
Vada swallowed thickly and avoided your eyes. “We’re leaving next week.”
A silence hung in the air, unspoken words stuck in her throat. Tell me to stay. Tell me you’ll come back with me. Tell me you’ll never love anyone else. Tell me you’d forget about me so as to soothe the pain.
“Then let’s make it count,” you brushed a hair from her eyes. “We’re not the first, and we won’t be the last to love each other.”
She dreaded the flight back home, having to pretend leaving you wouldn’t be as hard in front of Mia and her parents, and about 300 strangers. She’d miss biking everywhere and the beach and Lillian’s ice cream (she had grown to like it over Karim’s). She’d remember Antibes and Monet’s spot. She’d remember your face and how you seemed to appear in every memory of this trip.
Vada felt you brushing your finger under her eye and realized that it was wet. Then you brought her into your arms and held her tight as she hid from the world in your neck. You cooed and somehow it made Vada feel worse and started crying harder, clinging to your skin desperately.
She’d find space for the grief she was going to feel in her heart somewhere because she knew she’d rather live with the pain than be without you again.
The last week started on a Wednesday. Vada did the usual things she did the last few weeks—go to the beach, bike to town, hang out with the group; she wanted to soak into that last semblance of her summer routine before she had to leave, and everything would be different. She hadn’t given college much thought either. Deciding to move halfway across the country for it was the least stressful part of the whole process, as she was going in undecided. Mia was happy though, because they would only be a few hours apart by train.
Until then, Vada was too afraid to ask you about what would happen after the summer ended. If she asked, it would mean that it was close and it was real. You’d go back to school in Paris and start on your thesis, and everything would go back to the way it was.
Everything would go back to the way it was. As if nothing happened.
She had lived four weeks with you, how was she ever going to go the rest of her life without you?
She met up with you after dinner one night at the beach. The tides had come in much closer and were pulling on her heartstrings mercilessly. In and out, in and out . . . You were as quiet as the night, your eyes gazed towards the distance somewhere, looking pensive.
Still, she was afraid to ask.
“I lied,” you finally spoke. “I wished I had told you sooner how much I liked you.”
Vada remained silent and nodded. “We’ll call.”
“It won’t be the same.”
She knew too that it would never be the same the moment she leaves France. She realized that though she was afraid to ask, time was not on her side, and she didn’t have the luxury to be afraid anymore.
“Will you stay over tonight?” Vada asked, and you looked so happy that she did.
Once you stumbled through the door, you leaned in to kiss her instantly. Between wanting to kiss you back and suppressing moans, she told you to be quiet as you followed her upstairs, hand in hand. You failed, however, actually, both of you did, as your giggles trailed up the stairs and through the hallway. Vada would be lucky if only Mia heard you.

The day she left for the airport, you came over to say goodbye. You greeted the Reeds first, giving Philip and Andre big hugs, then turned to Mia to hug as well and kiss her on the forehead.
Vada waited in the backyard. She felt almost pathetic and needy for wanting you to come out here quicker. It won’t be the same.
“Andre gave me this to keep for my parents.”You held up a bottle of wine by the neck. “1983, nice.”
Your smile died down when you noticed her silence. “You got everything?”
She nodded. Wordlessly, she stepped forwards to wrap her arms around your frame. She thought she’d cry, but it was as if her brain was already actively shutting down trying to block out this memory to save her the future heartbreak.
You pressed her tightly against your chest and swayed her back and forth. Upon releasing her, you set down the bottle of wine next to your feet and took off your necklace.
“I want you to have this.” You opened her palm and neatly placed the jewelry inside. “That way, you won’t forget.”
How could you ever think that I would forget when I’m afraid I’ll never be able to let go of this summer?
“I wish we had more time,” Vada said.
“Bye, Cinderella.” Your eyes were glossy now.
The car door was wide open, waiting to take her away from you. For a split second, she considered dropping everything to stay.
She leaned in to kiss you once, deep and hard, “Bye, Y/N.” Then she walked away, the hummingbird clenched in her fist.
You followed her and watched her get in the car. You watched her close it with force and you watched her refuse to make eye contact with you, but you saw the way her lips trembled. You watched the car take her away from you and grazed the spot on your chest where the hummingbird was missing.
It was mid-July, the hottest day of the year, and yet, the ocean waves—blue as it gets—continued to crash against the shore, on and on and on.
#vada cavell x reader#vada cavell imagines#vada cavell imagine#vada cavell x you#vada cavell#jenna ortega#jenna ortega x reader#tara carpenter x reader
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July 9, 2024 -
One of the photos in Tae’s “Type 1 Photobook” is this one of him posing next to a “Hello Kitty rainbow plushie in bear costume.”

It’s the same plushie we’ve seen in Jk’s home, in GCF Budapest.

https://youtu.be/gJ1Hknhs1Ys?si=C4p2ZtBJrpdXz8le, :20-:28
And what’s super cute is it looks like Taekook own the biggest plushie of the three options -

CT to @angel_HeMaYa on TW for the above info on the plushie and last two pictures
And it’s exclusively available in America only (remember, Jk was in America quite a bit for Golden promos) -

I’d also like to archive some of Tae’s choice in clothing in his photo shoots. In the first photo, he’s wearing a “love my way” t-shirt by allsaints. The brand launched a collection theme with people expressing their own perceptions of love, celebrating different love stories.
This t-shirt’s name references the Psychedelic Furs' song “love my way.” The song is dedicated to people struggling with embracing their own sexuality amid social pressures. More specifically, Richard Butler, who penned the song, said, “It’s basically addressed to people who are fucked up about their sexuality,” and says, ‘Don’t worry about it.’ It was originally written for gay people.”
The song is also featured in the movie “call me by your name,” which we all know is a movie near and dear to Tae’s heart, as he’s repeatedly referenced it multiple times over the years.


Info on the song -
CT to @PeachesMinty, @jjkofvante, @allissur and @prettiestV95 on TW for the above photos and information.
Lyrics -

Tae CMBYN references:
June 9, 2019 with Hobi, and on May 31, 2019 when he played the OST for the movie on the piano - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2019/625212551783907328
June 9, 2020 - reading Elio’s fathers speech during pride month - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2020/625387601649713152
September 4, 2023 - an article on Weverse notes that Tae’s song “Rainy Days” is a nod to the tomato girl summer trend which was inspired by movies like CMBYN - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2023/727548456756035584
Other notable clothes worn I want to archive (and you can decide relevancy) - “personal freedom, make love not war” -

Shut the F U nobody cares what you think” (side note - I really want this shirt 😆)

#taekook#taekooktimeline#2024#Hello Kitty#plushie#cuteness#closeness#clothing#call me by your name#CMBYN#supportive
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So well put @bengiyo! Especially your focus on the audience and their input into defining the genre through their interests! A scholar, Kuzuko Suzuki, interviewed BL writers to try to get a hold on what exactly BL was in an article called, "Yaoi/BL Temrinology and Classifications," and the close participation of the audience was one of the key continuities she and the writers noted, whereas genre conventions really through some of the major authors for a loop even though they participated in them once they knew what was expected at the time.
I think getting so stuck on the genre conventions hampers a lot of conversation and the potential for the genre to experiment and grow. That rigidity also conceals the genre's origins in JUNE stories and the input from new knowledge and audiences about queerness.
New rules and approaches can be adapted without disrupting something's belonging to a genre. We don't, for example, deny most romance stories from belonging to that classification despite their lack of a marriage at the end, a plot that was the original expectation in that genre.
In fact, I'd say that the romance genre sits within a bigger grouping that aligns better with the audience's current use of the "BL" label: Chick-lit (Chick-flicks, for cinema). Women's media, if we wanna be less pejorative, is defined less by conventions than the Romance genre (or genres in general) and much more clearly defined by its main subjects--women--and intended audience--people interested in women's stories. Some would say women are the intended audience but the category would not be what it is without queer men's consumption and participation.
You have plenty of romance and romantic-comedies within the Chick-Flick genre, but you also have... Tragedies (The Notebook, Terms of Endearment, One Day) Friendship films (The Women, Thelma & Louise, Waiting to Exhale) Coming-of-age (Clueless, Legally Blonde, Now & Then) Sports (A League of Their Own, Love & Basketball, Bend It Like Beckham)
You'll also see plenty of more distant genres explored under this header, although I'd add the caveat that, unless its full-on romance, films that mash-up with other genres usually have an element of comedy or lightness to keep it within the chick-flick realm--Jennifer's Body and The Craft can be considered horror chick-flicks while The VVitch or The Descent, despite their female focus and feminist themes, cannot. The ages range, the number of main characters shift, and the emphasis on romance varies, but the focus on girlhood and womanhood is consistent.
TLDR: I think it's correct to say rather than its former use to dictate certain generic tropes and beat requirements like strictly happy endings, fans currently use "BL" as a term to define media intended for an audience of people interested in stories that positively center boys loving boys and men loving men. How the creators choose to 'positively center' them has changed throughout the genre's history and continues to be explored.
The people on here getting mad about one couple getting too much screen time or another not doing enough in 4Minutes are the same to me as the booktok people who can’t read anything without romance. Sometimes it’s about storytelling that makes you scream into your pillow every week idk what else to fucking tell you
#bl series#bl history#that definition still leaves some room for questions and discussion#i hope the 'positive centering' helps distinguish it from lgbtq+ media's social realist approach#I typically use BL as a term to describe Asian-made positive mlm content as well (not Wong Kar Wai or My Concubine)#but I know that limit doesn't hold for a lot of Asian audiences#and I think it will continue to become blurier#especially when you have a novel and show like Heartstopper that's clearly so indebted to classic BL works#and so many BL shows also are subsuming lgbtq+ media references into their works--especially CMBYN and Skam
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HELLO! am new here, this is literally my second post after complaining about the lack of spaghetti in my life (I'm not italian lmao) so take this with patience :D
its just a little fic idea i had in school after scrolling down tumblr during break
HP, right after Lily's and James' death, but instead of Peter being the traitor, Sirius was ACTUALLY the traitor (for whatever reason, i havent thought of that yet- maybe hes just evil, idk), and Peter is truly dead.
Regulus isnt dead even though everyone thinks so, he ran away right after getting the horcrux and is on the run (somewhere in northern italy, you get the CMBYN reference ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)), trying to figure out how to destroy the horcrux, but as soon as he sees some wizardly news and sees that Sirius has been captured and is in azkaban, he storms right back to London. as soon as he goes to James' and Lily's house, he finds a breaking down Remus in the ruins, because fuck, the man he loved, killed their three closest friends and is now in azkaban.
And so they learn to cope together, Regulus silently copes with the knowledge him and James had an affair and never told Lily and now James is dead before they could properly end it. Even though Reggie loved him, he wanted Harry to have a normal family.
And now he doesnt, because Reg and Remus dont know where Harry is at all, only to be told when he is 11 (beginning of Sorcerers stone) that he was with Lily's sister, etc etc,
(this part is almost the same as HP storyline, except Ron hasnt got an old rat but a regular rat and Harry has genuinely been almost killed by Sirius in PoA)
#marauders#james potter#remus lupin#the marauders#sirius black#wolfstar#evil sirius you get me#harry potter#fanfiction#fanfic#idea#harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban#au#alternative universe#regulus black#remus loves sirius#regulus loves james#james is dead#jily is dead#light angst#platonic moonwater#wolfstar angst#jily x jegulus love triangle
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I love that RRR/Salaar side by side gif. How about one where Bheem kills Edward for essentially nicking Ram and Deva cuts that guys head off for touching Varadha?
Hehe definitely can do!!
1. Edward shot Ram and Naarang grabbed on Varadha's collar oh big no no their boyfriends are going to be so pissed
2. Yuph Bheem literally angrily immediately threw a motorcycle at Edward and Deva basically chopped Naarang's hand off of his man (weapon of choice is basically just using whatever available near them, this was instant rage both weren't thinking much and just acting on impulse.)
3. AND It's not enough! THE OFFENSE WAS TOO GREAT SO edward got stabbed on his gut by a spear and Naarang got what he deserved for taunting Varadha before asking for his head to be placed on his feet!!! whose head on whose feet now headless Naarang boy lmao take that! bye bye.
Also can I mention how both Deva and Bheem was shaking with rage afterwards stil!!Gosh Bheem's eyes were so freaking scary looking at Edward like that his cheeks trembled from gritting his teeth too hard because of his anger and Deva's hands were still trembling as well in the cell later when he tried to explain his reason to Varadha for his action why he killed Naarang "I warned him [Naarang] not to touch you, but he paid no heed. You heard me right? How could he touch you!!! No one should touch you!!" (Peak possessive behavior)
But I think the ultimate comparison for this scene was with devasena and Baahubali in Baahubali 2 courtroom scene (notice both happened in courtroom with everyone witnessing the grand gesture of Deva/Baahu ultimate devotion) It was literally copied frame to frame lmao I know Prashanth was actually paying homage to this iconic scene in Baahubali because there's no way he didn't take inspiration from that scene with Prabhas as Deva (down to the way Devasena and Deva (also both their names are literally deva 😭👐🥺) took the weapon from the other people waist lol) also who didn't want to see Prabhas reenacted this scene in a big screen again!! Cinema is Prabhas chopping head of people who dare touch his loved ones. (Also Varadha is Deva's wife, period. No argument, Prashanth said so, it's Deva's DUTY AND PRIVILEGE to protect his honor.)
As the great Baahubali said "if one lays a hand on any woman [or man if he's your man], you shouldn't chop his fingers [only], you should chop [off] his head!"
The fact that Rajamouli got an exclusive time to interviewed the PPP before watching Salaar lmao Rajamouli was the first person who purchased the tickets to Salaar movie. So he definitely hadn't watched it yet when he interviewed them!! Imagine his surprise when he saw this scene in the theater lmao I bet Prabhas might have texted him like "there's a surprise in the movie you will love it!"
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Anon was referring to this post btw!
Also you can see other side by side posts of Salaar with kgf 2 and cmbyn
#rrr#salaar#baahubali#varadeva#rambheem#baahubali x devasena#telugu cinema is the best in doing this trope#touch my lover you die boy#anon#answer
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