#cod self insert (maybe)

[annoyinglovetyrant]

TW: Mentions of suicidal thoughts, minor NSFW, reader has slight attachment issues with a sprinkle of emotional instability.

The first time you and Nikto fought.. he almost ended it.

He didn’t, he’s far too strong willed to do that, his survival instincts too sharp. But, he really thought about it, almost planned it, walking into his empty, cold house, sitting on his bed and just staring.. Staring at his knives and guns displayed in perfect order along his bedroom wall; after walking out of your home, the sound of your cries and harsh words keep echoing in his mind, coiling and cementing in his neurons like an acidic parasite. 

The fight was stupid, unnecessary, him saying something to you in a way that felt cruel and unfeeling, and when you called him out on it, he got defensive, too defensive. Once he realized what was happening, it was too late, you were already upset, upset with him. His mind couldn’t handle that, the whispers grew loud within him, screaming at him. He fucked up, he lost you.

Love and happy endings to Nikto always felt like a fairytale, something parents told their children to help them fight their fear of the dark, the growing doom of their mortality. But, when he met you, that feeling slowly started to change. You fell first, something he didn’t see for a very long time, and even longer for him to comprehend. However, once he finally understood you really did like him, he fell much harder, and much faster. He always thought your face and body were ethereal, utterly striking, and once you two finally started actually speaking to one another, he found your soul even more beautiful. 

You’re perfect.

You don’t care that he's broken, because you’re a little broken, too. You find his marred face beautiful. Sexy even. The first time you two made love, you kindly asked him to remove his mask, you’d seen his face before that, but never for so long, so intimately. At that time -he would never admit it- but he was scared. He wanted to say no, he wanted to run away, but he can’t say no to you, not ever, so he complied. That night, you made love to him, you showed him what love truly felt like, what a gentle touch can do to him. 

He cried.

And yet, you still didn’t recoil at him, you just held him in your arms, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck, gently riding on top of him. He thinks about that night often, not for the sexual component, but because, that was the first time in his memorable life, he felt safe. 

And now he’s gone and screwed it up. 

He doesn’t quite understand that just because you were angry with him, doesn’t mean you don’t love him anymore. 

The connection you two share is something little girls dream of, he’s your knight in shining armor, and you’re his princess, in every sense of the word. He worships you, only devoted to you and your protection, your happiness, how could you ever fall out of love with that? You don’t care about the blood on his hands, you don’t care that his armor is chinked. You just see him for all that he is, and you love him for it. Something that terrifies and excites him more than anything he’s ever experienced. And the thought of something so beautiful and rare slipping through his fingers is almost too much for him to bear. The thought of you never being in his arms again, never hearing your goofy jokes, your achingly gorgeous laugh, it makes him sick. 

Since being with you, the voices have grown softer, his sense of self becoming more prevalent. You’ve helped him to want to get better. But now.. The voices are warring. All he hears are them; he becomes stuck where he is, his mind not being able to handle the situation, the emotions of it. 

Dead to everything but his memories. 

He doesn’t hear his phone ring and ring, doesn’t hear you banging on his door, calling his name. Crying out for him; you needing him right now, just as much as he needs you.

He doesn’t hear you leave, either.

[dragonbe-writing]

every wip i write with john price is with an intelligent, stubborn, short, chubby woman. maybe the self insert is too strong but i can’t help it.

john price wants a woman he can spoil, yes, but he can’t be with a ditz either. he needs someone who can hold their own when he’s gone, someone he doesn’t need to worry about (but still does, because he loves her)

very much an “i can take care of myself” woman and a “you shouldn’t have to” john price

“i don’t need a man, you can only stay if you improve my life” woman vs. “she’s so smart im so lucky to be around her” john price

they both work themselves to the bone and BECAUSE OF THAT they’re the only people who can see when the other needs a break BUT ALSO not delay what needs to be done. *

*john has paperwork due at midnight and instead of pulling him away to bed, work unfinished, she brings him coffee, rubs his shoulders, reads in the chair by his desk until he’s finished and THEN gets him settled in bed with soft words and vulnerability

neither are big on psa because they have reputations. most they’ll get is a squeeze of the hand or maybe a quick kiss to the temple when no one else is looking

nsfw below

sex with them is nothing but understanding and uplifting. whether he subs or she does, aftercare always includes reminding them how strong they are.

both of them have issues surrendering and being vulnerable so it’s a much needed reminder for them and sex is a MUCH NEEDED BREAK

john who takes control when he has his hands tied because of bureaucracy, generals, etc or his boys aren’t listening and he just needs to be fully in control of a situation.

his wife who IS in control of most things through her position at work. his wife who has always been the ‘motherly’ figure in her friend groups, who only lets HIM take care of her. so, she prefers submitting completely to him. just wants to be completely brain dead by the time they’re done

john who takes bad missions personally be he’s the one who called the shots. john who can’t seem to leave work at the door when they lose a soldier or fail a mission. john who submits then, because being in control feels like too much and he just wants to worship his wife (even if he’s a pleasure dom, anyway)

his wife who despises careless, unaware individuals. one trip to the grocery store on a busy day has her coming home with her panties in a twist, barking orders at him to shut up, sit down, and eat her out until she’s calm again. sometimes all it takes for her to dom is a car cutting her off in traffic.

his smart, fiery, stubborn wife that he has absolute heart eyes for.

[rubytalks]

H...how did I never posted these. I thought I did, I did this like back in april but when I searched manually if I posted this I found nothing.

Anyways bonus

[underneathsoldiers]

Soap Opera Plot

Alejandro Vargas x Reader

Philip Graves x Reader

Both only referenced

Y/n has a child with Alejandro

The title will be made one day

Alejandro was in uniform, in his base, and he was absorbing the information that you gave him. You had travelled to Las Almas, wearing your most virtuous outfit and practicing the pitiful tone of a mother in need.

“You went with the man that betrayed me and put me in a cell,” Alejandro was staring at you with a glazed look, his mind likely trying to keep his mind and emotion separate. Not for him, but for you. “And he has our daughter.”

You went rigid. “It’s not that simple,” you uttered weakly. Even you had to admit, you had messed up. It just hurt more when someone else pointed it out. Especially someone that had been so close to you once upon a time.

“¿Como pudistes?” His mind flooded with emotion. He turned to the wall behind him and slammed his fist to it. “¿Como pudistes ir con ese hombre? Maldita sea! Todas las mujeres me traicionan!”

How could you? How could you go with that man? All women betray me.

“N-no se. Como explicar,” I don’t know how to explain, you tried to say. Your Spanish wasn’t perfect. You only hoped that his mother tongue would get to him more. “I was in hard times, he helped me-“

“No, no, no,” he cut you off. “Don’t you give me excuses. You knew you could go to me if you needed anything. ¿Como ese diablo tiene mi hija?” How does that devil has my daughter?

“He took care of us. We had a step dad thing going on,” you began to weep. You were so pathetic. “I know it’s dumb-“

“I trusted you with he,” Alejandro waved his arms in anger, “You’re her mother! You’re all she has. Why did you go to him? How?”

Alejandro was losing his mind. You couldn’t blame him but it was still heart breaking.

You just wept pathetically, “I don’t know.”

Alejandro slammed on the desk, “Lo voy a matar. ¡Lo mato! Lo mato, voy a matar a ese diablo! Lo voy a destruir. ¡Me quita mi base, mi mujer, mi hija!. Lo voy a matar para que los demonios se ocupe de él.”

I’m going to kill him. I’ll kill him. I’ll kim him, I’m going to kill that devil. I’m going to destroy him. He takes my base, my woman, my daughter— with no shame! I’m going to kill him so the demons can occupy themselves with him.

Mi mujer. It sticks with you. He still called you his woman. Not in the possessive way, as he never stopped you from leaving him and taking your daughter with you. He had often assured you that he would always help you.

He called you his woman because you still had roots in his heart. You didn't want to see that before. It was easier to think that he hated you for leaving him. It was easier to think that he moved on quickly.

You had left behind a man that loved you.

And then you went to the first bad boy— no, a fucking criminal— that glanced at you.

[graveyard-party666]

I did lil' something for the next chapter. 👀

Now I'm one of you cool people that do renders.

Thanks to @chloekistune for being patient with my slow ass. You're an amazing teacher, pookie.

[loadedberetta]

I'm this close to write my self-insert's name each time I need to write "you" in a fic it's honestly debilitating

[kit-williams]

Zombie

More self insert this might be the final one I don't know might make Goblin a proper OC or just continue this sorta therapeutic writing.

The first fic wasn't really Ghost focused and never really expressed the hurt. The title is more so after the song by the Cranberries

Angst with comfort like with all of these ones

I really was trying my best. The strings of code that suddenly seemed to blend together. I was trying my best... but there was a rock hard lump in my throat... in my chest... in me as it hit harder and harder that I was stuck here.

Hey let me know when you're free for more than a couple of minutes.

I text to Simon doing my best to not spam him with the way I text. To me hitting the enter was akin to ending a thought so either I'd send walls of text or 5 texts that could have been gathered together in one text. None of these people were my family... I was doing my best to not subject them to all my weirdness... but I had a feeling I was failing.

Ya good?

Was the reply back I got.

Just let me know.

I did my best to avoid answering as I just continued to look over the code. I don't know how long it was, it felt like forever really, till I got a text from Simon and I hardly wasted time. Simon was very odd... not what I was expecting but then again trauma shapes us differently. The trauma of always being in survival mode... the trauma of my parents divorcing... just how we react to stimuli shapes us differently. I pressed my forehead against his back as things suddenly felt very loud.

I needed to be touched... to be held... to be grounded... for someone to read my mind when I could hardly do it. Someone to speak to me in that calming baritone... the warmth of a deep voice wrapping around me. Seeking out Simon hurt just as much as it comforted me. Because like my husband he was very good at it.

He let me scream at him, he let me cry, he let me vent out all my anguish and frustrations, he let me try my best to cope and he like my husband knew when it was better to distract me.

"Why don't blind guys skydive?" He pauses as my brain doesn't fully register that I already know this joke as I look up at him looking over his shoulder, "Scares the shit out of their dogs." I don't bother to stop the loud snort. Oh yes Ghost hurt me in a way that I loved... he knew puns and was as skilled with his words just as much as my husband was... is? I wasn't married in this timeline yet. I crawl over the couch and just lean against him hiding.

Ghost... Simon... was very competent, had to be, but it was terrifying just how easy I was to read I guess. How quick he picked up on my quirks... how he knew what type of hand I could handle. I could feel his hands in my hair as he did his best to help me survive. This was a nightmare for me of the loved ones I've left behind... how quickly it all just happened. I just sat in my car and then this nightmare started.

-----

Simon knew exactly the moment he had fallen for the weird little creature he knew the several moments that made up the times he could say his fondness grew. The days she would just find him to just sit in silence with him after answering his gruff 'why ya here' with a simple 'to hang out' and just be content with his company. It was the way she just would chirp songs from a long dead childhood at him though mainly to Johnny... sometimes she would talk his ear off about random things and just fill the silence.

He grew very fond of her strength, sure she brushed it off because it was a state of being she was so use to being in that she didn't see the way she just handled this all like a champ and only after 3 maybe 4 months was she starting to crack. He had caught her bawling her eyes out... he had caught her with such a dark look in her eyes... he caught her staring far too long at knives and ropes... and yet the way she just could easily slip into a smile. The way she chose to be happy. Even if he could tell she was dying on the inside she still tried to be happy for them.

She was dying in real time to him. She was dying slowly and painfully. She was wilting away and her will to live was wasting away. He pulled Goblin into his lap and just hugged as he could tell she was semi unresponsive... she was dying in his arms slowly and painfully but the way her eyes looked up at him... they screamed at him how much she wanted to live.

Maybe she would bounce back to the land of the living like she has been able too or maybe she would continue in a state of undeath but Ghost would do his best to make sure the grave didn't win.

[plzhelpmeimmentallyill]

Mission gone wrong

1,452 words

The mission was supposed to be simple.

You and Gaz had gone on countless undercover missions before, but for some reason, this one felt different. The mission was to infiltrate a large party an arms dealer was throwing in his very large home, wanting to show off his riches and strike deals with possible business partners. It was going to be a simple and easy mission for both soldiers - or so they thought.

The mission was supposed to be easy in and out - find the arms dealer, chat him up, gain his trust, and leave. All they really had to do was gain the target's trust to make further connections and gain intel so they could take down the trading ring the target had set up.

After hours of planning and preparing for the mission, you and Gaz pulled up in the sports car Captian Price had somehow gotten them for their appearance at the party, marking their 'status' (or their facade, you could call it.) they had in the arms dealing business.

After a few moments of gathering their things in the car and making sure all of their gear was working, they stepped out of the sports car and started walking up to the large house. You interlock your arm with Gaz's and put on your act, walking with confidence and keeping your head up - hyper-aware of your surroundings but looking like it was no big deal.

This was natural for you and Gaz, you two had gone on plenty of undercover missions before. The task force trusted both of you to be able to silently communicate and work together without having to speak of both of your plans due to your close nature. You and Gaz always finished the mission quickly and successfully... until today.

..............

Both you and Gaz were speaking to some of the other guests, making their act believable to the other criminals around them. It's not like you could just go up the the target (The wealthiest and most dangerous arms dealer around) and ask him to do business without setting up a good image for yourselves.

As they spoke to the other guests, some things felt a bit off. You and Gaz could both feel it - You could feel everyone's eyes on you and your partner, it was almost like they knew who you were...

It was peculiar, to say the least. No one here should have known what they looked like. They had seen none of these men on the field, and they had never seen them in everyday life... so why were they looking at you like this?

You could do nothing about this - you could only continue conversing and hope that things would even out soon. After about thirty minutes of the odd conversations, You and Gaz excuse yourselves to the bar - but before you could even turn around, a gun was pulled on you both.

"Woah, Mate! What's that about?" Gaz questions calmly as he holds up his hands, showing he is not holding any sort of weapon, You did the same and stayed quiet, acting just as causal as Gaz as you let him do the talking as you knew he had more controlled emotions in this situation. You were quite good at keeping up your act, but Gaz had been doing this far longer than you, and he knew how to handle these situations without breaking a nervous sweat.

"Dont play dumb with me Garrick, I know what you are here for!" The man shouts and quickly brings his finger to the trigger.

Before the man's finger could pull the pistol's trigger, you act on pure instinct and push Gaz down to the ground just in time. The gun went off with a deafening bang and you both fled out of the mansion - you guiding Gaz to the nearest exit as you cursed yourself for not leaving sooner

The loud sound of gunfire behind you blares in your ears as the bullets pierce the walls around you and your sergeant.

The first gunshot caused a panic - now there were about ten people shooting their way. Luckily, they moved fast enough that there was no way the men could get a solid aim on you two.

"Shit! Take my hand!" You shouted as you quickly took a sharp right through an exit and reached out for Gaz's hand, needing him to stay close to you for this to all go according to the little plan you made in your head. Gaz just stayed as quiet as he could, giving you time to formulate the rest of your plan. There was a treeline just outside of the Mansion's courtyard that would give them a bit of cover as they fled. Gaz finally grasped onto your hand and you bolted towards the tree line, weaving through the trees with Gaz as several men ran out of the building and continued to shoot at you and Gaz.

After a couple minutes of running, you had finally left the treeline and ended up hidden in a dark alleyway - You were leaning up against a wall, trying to catch your breath as Gaz made the call for emergency exfil.

"I need emergency exfil immediately - mission went south, we need vehicle transport off of realty street. Currently hidden in the first back alley on the right."

Gaz speaks into his comms in between sharp breaths, trying to regain his air supply after all of the running.

After Gaz completes communications with Exfil, you slide down the wall and sit on the soiled concrete.

"There's a rat back at base... there has to be."

You say as you cradle your head in your hands, very frustrated and shocked that someone has infiltrated the 141. Gaz shakes his head in disappointment and sits down next to you, leaning his back up against the brick wall of the building behind them. Gaz was just as shocked, and he couldn't believe that someone would do this to them... hell, they almost just got killed! They were lucky that you both got out of the damned mansion without being shot!

"As soon as we get back to base we need to talk to Price - don't tell anyone other than him a word of what happened. We don't need news of a rat inside the task force going around base." Gaz replies as he looks down at the ground, removing his tux jacket after a moment and throwing it to the ground beside him, not caring if it got soiled in the process.

You nod your head as your emotions start to get to you.

The both of you have come far closer to death before... but this was hitting you hard.

There was someone back at base who set you up to be killed - probably only for a shitty paycheck. How couldn't you have known? How couldn't you have realized sooner? you knew that it would have been impossible to know beforehand, but it still hurt... it still felt like it was your fault for not picking up on it sooner.

Tears start pricking in the corner of your eyes as you cover your face with your hands, letting out a jagged sigh as you consider who the rat might be.

Gaz notices your emotions starting to bubble over, and he slowly shifts closer to you, now pressed up to the side of your hip.

"You know it's not your fault, right? You couldn't have known about this beforehand." It was like Gaz was reading your mind, knowing exactly what you were thinking.

"I had no clue they knew who we were, I just thought they were weary of outsiders." You knew Gaz was being logical, and his words made complete sense, but you were still frustrated and aggravated to no end.

Tears start flowing heavily down your cheeks as you let out little choked sobs.

Gaz lets out a sympathetic sigh and wraps his arms around your torso, pulling you close to him, trying to silently comfort you and reassure you that everything is going to be okay. He understood how you felt, and he wanted to soothe your pain.

He knew that even though his words were logical and true, they would never get passed your brain talking down to you.

Gaz continues to hold you close until your crying slows, one of his hands now running through your hair, wrapping his arm back around you after a moment.

"It's going to be okay... We are going to make it through this, yeah? We always do..."

Gaz lays his head on top of yours as he continues to hold you close.

"We are going to figure this out, I swear it." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author's note! I hope you enjoyed this little story I made! I might continue it as a series if people take some liking to it.

This story took me an embarrassingly long time to make and it isn't even that good 😭

As always, If there is anything you would like to see in the future or anything you think I could improve on, let me know! I'm always open to new ideas and constructive criticism.

I also might do some ship content sometime soon, so keep an eye out for that!

xxx

[ghouljams]

ok like yes delicious. [the hollering and seal clapping anon] im eating muslim gaz right tf up. !!! [side note THAT PEN THING. ohhh thats soo cute :"o!!!] but like! ough so like yes yes in following the self inserting. im like. i dont wear hijab/live in a. fairly christian area. so when i interact w someone and find out that they're muslim too it always gives me this happy little yaaay yippee!! hiii!! oh helloo!!! moment. something kinda. idk. soothing. safe ab it. so like. tee hee. this happening w reader and gaz and the sillay funsie bonding....ouugh me heart.....where is my gaz....where is he!!!! OH MY HEART. WIAT THE MORE I THINK AB THIS THE MORE I WANT TO MARRY HIM. I NEED THIS MAN LEANING AGAINST MY KITCHEN COUNTER IN THE MORNINGS. I ROCK W HIM BEING A SEX FIEND [this man's mouth WILL unpack my religious sex shame. !] I FEEL SAFE W HIM. OHHH FICTIONAL MAN!!!!![<-voice of a girl who has just finally taken the leap to make a cod fic sideblog. perhaps. perhaps this will be my jumping off point.] ok teehee sorry for yammering away in ur asks thank youuuu <3333!!!

-💍

Full disclosure that I am not Muslim so I am not well versed in things and I am absolutely not the first person to pitch Gaz as Muslim, but I absolutely adore that headcanon. Mostly because I think it makes him so much more interesting (which feels impossible because that man is so well rounded as a character) and sets up a fun dynamic with him and Catholic Soap.

ANYWAY: Gaz is a sex fiend and he does NOT feel bad about it, not one bit. He knows that he shouldn't be looking at you with lustful eyes but it's fine because you're going to be his wife eventually which means anything he does now can be forgiven. Maybe he "accidentally" trips you and has to catch you when you fall, oh nooo. He is willing to break rules because he wants you so bad, and London is so overwhelmingly Christian even when people aren't really religious, so finding you wandering around is just a dream come true.

Catch him checking labels in the tesco to figure out what's halal because he wants a snack but the scran hall ran out of his favorites. Catch him squinting at the ground because he always forgets which direction this section of the training ground faces. Catch that man talking about the nice muslim girl he met to his mum and having her warn him over the phone that he better be on his best behavior, and of course he promises he is, but we all know he's a liar.

[00ops1e]

taskforce 141 + könig x sick! reader

warnings: emetophobia trigger warning, mentions of puking/being sick, fluff, hurt/comfort maybe??, not proofread a/n: omg here it is. the first cod thing ive written! but not actually theres some filth hiding in my documents. this is totally lowkey a self insert. geared towards female! reader but if you squint at the petnames could be gn. i've been so so sick lately and tbh scares me a lil but what cant be fixed by fictional men?? nothing.

Ghost

 A little bit of a germaphobe

Will take off his mask, but replace it with a medical mask

Only so he can still hold you, just with a peace of mind

He does NOT want to get sick too

Because then how could he take care of you?

Always has a puke bowl at the ready

Orders your favorite takeout, even if you don’t feel like eating

Because hes a firm believer in leftovers.

Which may just be the cause of this

But you'd never tell him. poor man would get so guilty he had forgotten to throw it away.

Puts on a movie and lets you fall asleep on his chest

I feel like he’s a cold-blooded type of person, doesn’t generate much heat

but makes up for it in comfort

so many blankets

so so many. 

Checks your temperature in your sleep

Lowkey counts respirations just to be sure

Makes sure you keep hydrated

Will bring you to urgent care if he’s really worried

No matter how much you protest!

Soap

Squeamish when it comes to throwing up

Will try his very best to stay with you, but sometimes ends up running from the room

Because the last thing he'd wanna do is gag at you

While hes ran away he gets a cold rag to press on your forehead, and clean you up a bit in the process

"yer hidin? awh bonnie i wasnt meanin' to embarrass ye" he says while taking your chin in his hand, forcing you to meet his eyes

"sickness and health yeah? i wanna take care of you"

Insists on rubbing vicks/ vaporub on you

Not because hes a little perv (he is)

But because he loves you and the sniffles break his little heart

peppers kisses across your collarbones, vicks smell clogging his nose

but he’s too focused on the goosebumps that rise on your skin, your little shivers

“Awh, my poor sick lass,”

Constantly checking for a fever

Forcing you to stay in bed, even after you feel better, “not takin chances, rest up.”

this man on the other hand is a human space heater

throwing a blanket on and off the two of you, getting too hot and then shortly after too cold. 

not as convenient when it’s hot out lol

head rubs 

head rubs

Gaz

Tries to bring you to a doctor/ urgent care immediatley

Will try to call an ambulance over a slight fever

Stocks up on pedialyte/makes sure youre hydrated

Cuddles constantly, does not care if he catches anything

loves being the big spoon so he can lay in the crook of your neck and still hold onto you tight 

Has extra blankets on deck

entertains you with silly little jokes

but then apologizes while giggling because you laughed so hard it hurt a little. 

Will feed you cold medicine/tums

teases you when you complain about taking them

“i don’t need you gettin any grumpier love”

Will hold back your hair/ stroke your back while youre getting sick

gets offended when you get embarrassed about it

“are you judging my girl?” he teases you

Tries his best to cook, but lowkey fails miserably

Resorts to cup of noodles and lipton packets. 

Price

Such dad vibes

Will make soup or other comfort foods from scratch

And his cooking skills are unmatched

Runs you a shower/bath and washes your hair for you

back rubs and massages

pressing small kisses to your shoulders as he works

also a human heater but not too hot, just the perfect temperature 

also just the perfect shape to spoon you, cradling every inch of your body

“I hate it when my baby’s sick,” he says, rubbing soft circles into your side

Doesnt even have to make a pharmacy run because hes so well prepared

Feeds you medicine, on the dot, every few hours after it wears off

(he totally sets reminders in his phone. [typing like an old person with reading glasses on])

Will stay in bed all day with you, quietly typing and mumbling to himself while you nap at his side

occasionally leaning down to kiss your forehead while he works

the computer goes away as soon as you wake up

"how're you feeling princess?"

loves having you in his arms, pulled close to his chest

Carries you to bed if you fall asleep on the couch (bridal style ofc)

Will hold your hair back, refuses to leave your side

“Of course youre not gross darling, we all get sick,”

Konig

rubs your back as you're hunched over the toilet

will sit down with you on the floor, back up against the bathtub when its too much of a risk to leave the bathroom

just wants to keep you company :(

"take as long as you need, liebling"

fills up the tub while still convincing you to get in

he promises you'll feel better after

caves and offers to join you as a last resort to get you cleaned up

Long baths, cuddling in the warm water

Letting the steam clear your sinus

Brushes and braids your hair

when you start feeling better but are still running a fever, hes worried.

but youre dealing with a burst of energy and simply must start with the housework

konig will put you over his shoulder and escort you back to bed

will paint your nails in bed to entertain you, anything to keep you still and in bed

Lets you put your cold feet on him, but only when you dont feel good

totally unprepared because i feel like this man has an immune system of steel

makes a quick pharmacy run, but has to call you for the shopping list bc oops he forgot 

depending on how sick you are, lets you come along for the ride

“promise you’ll stay in the car ja?”

always returns with a sweet little treat or small gift/toy for you

“gesundheit!” as he chuckles at your sneeze 

jokes that maybe he should put a mask on you

[intern-seraph]

PSA: there's someone on ao3 advertising an ai-generated story site via "fanfic"

Okay so. I cannot prove that this person is a bot, but they're either a bot or someone who works with the site they're advertising. Either way, they're... not very good at hiding the scheme once you dig a little. With a fucking spoon. Long post beneath the cut.

The user in question goes by FantasiaStories, which happens to also be the name of the website in question. Funny, that. They have posted 38 works in the past 2 months for a variety of fandoms, including TWST, which is how I found them. Other fandoms include CoD, Genshin Impact, JJK, and Marvel. The works are pretty much solely NSFW reader-insert fics. First red flag: in the notes of EVERY fic, beginning or end notes (it varies), they advertise their website. Examples (WARNING: suggestive text):

Okay. Weird. Suspicious, even! I am, of course, wary of weird links to unknown sites (as we should all be!). We will talk about that site in a bit.

Now, like, this isn't bad in and of itself. Whatever, maybe it's a personal site or something. Now, I took a look at one of the Malleus fics they put out a couple weeks ago.

First person POV isn't really my thing, so I ended up not finishing it beyond the first few sentences. Forgot about it, put it out of my mind, whatever.

Today, I was once again trawling the tag, looking for some good stuff (or for updates of the fics I'm following), and I see this:

Oo, looks fun! The tags sound familiar, though... Whatever. Let's take a look, see if it seems good —

And I immediately noticed: THIS IS THE SAME FUCKING FIC???

EXHIBIT A: THE RECENT FIC

EXHIBIT B: THE EARLIER FIC

IT'S THE SAME FUCKING FIC!!! I literally checked the author's profile to see if they were, perhaps, stealing from another writer, but NO! THEY JUST COPY-PASTED THE DAMN THING!

Okay. So now I'm confused. Upset, even. What the fuck is going on here? Who is this "FantasiaStories", and what is this site they keep hawking?

Well.

Ahah.

After sending some baffled texts to my friend, reporting the duplicate fics to Ao3 T&S for advertising, and several hours of waffling (and playing vidya games) about whether or not to click the link, I clicked the fucking link. I need to know what's going on. This is WEIRD.

WELL! The site is janky as all hell, first of all. Like, look at this shit:

Yeah, probably optimized for mobile but that is UGLY on desktop. And yes, that horribly-stretched png is a functional button! Shockingly. Let's go "learn how to play".

ah yes. the user guice. Welcome to visit our website :)))

So I scroll past the instructions on how to create an account, because I am not here to make an account. I am here to find the fucking truth. At first, the instructions give off the energy of this being an erotic mad libs site.

There's a feature for a narrator to read the text out loud to you as well. Personally I would crawl out of my skin but to each their own —

Oh. Ohhhh. Oh I see.

Now, when I look back at the Malleus fic that started all this, I noted something that, to anyone who has not played TWST, would go completely under the radar. I have helpfully highlighted this issue in the following screenshot:

The fic describes his eyes as being "gold and amber"

Any self-respecting TWST enjoyer knows that Malleus hAS GREEN EYES HOLY SHIT HIS WHOLE COLOR SCHEME IS BLACK AND GREEN YOU FUCKING SHAM! YOU CHARLATAN! YOU SCAMMER! This is SUCH a basic fact about his design that I simply cannot believe an actual human fan wrote this shit. ALSO the whole thing is generic af and it feels like malleus was just put in there because name recognition. this shit isn't malleus.

IN CONCLUSION: FANTASIASTORIES ON AO3 IS ALMOST CERTAINLY NOT WRITING THE STORIES THEY POST THEMSELVES, THEY ARE USING THEIR DOGSHIT WEBSITE THAT THEY KEEP ADVERTISING IN THE NOTES TO GENERATE AI SLOP FICS!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!

[og-frans-shipper]

Omg frans gives me sm nostalgia, 2016-19....a lot of things i miss in fandom from those years but since ur blog is about frans im trying not to get out of topic and rant abt fandom.

Even if the ship is now hated on and smaller, i found ways to enjoy it, i follow a lot of jp artists on twitter that post frans and theres some eng artists too. And cant forget ao3 :p

No one asked but, i like "canon" frisk with sans. Ngl i do self insert too sometimes, but i prefer frisk just like in canon, except i refer to frisk as she her or they them. Which...omg its another whole discourse, anyways i think thats what i wanted to say

It comes to little surprise to me to know that the JP artists really don't care. I personally am one of those people who really does not give a shit with people think about me. I will post what I want when I want how I want and if you don't like it that's not my issue.

My opinions will not be changed because someone dislikes them. And I will not make content for things I do not like no matter how many people ask. Simple as that. I know exactly what you're talking about and those are my favorite people to run across but my Twitter feed is currently full of COD (I swear to God I follow like maybe five people for that cuz the rest them are batshit) and Poolverine so I don't get much else.

Ao3 is a godsend and that's where I get most of my content but even so I miss the old days I miss them. I miss seeing bookoos of art and comics when scrolling on Tumblr 😔.

There is probably a very good argument made for the reason why Frans is so popular is directly linked to the people who like to self-insert with characters. I for one of very much guilty of this and this would not surprise me in the slightest.

Maybe I'll make that a poll 🤔 I do like some science.

(made the pole)

[yanderes-galore]

Hello, May I request a Cod Cold War ask? Specifically for Weaver x reader who’s part of the zombies strike team? I can imagine that they’re quick to figure out things (as you need to be for the Easter eggs) yet tough as they need to be? If not, I guess can I request Bell x reader (Bell may be hard to write for since they’re a player created character but I figured you do something cool with it!)

-MsPlacedHero

Ps, Chase loved the cookie I gave to him saying it was from you!

I'll try Bell as I'm a bit more familiar with them! Happy he liked the cookie even if it was a long time ago. Hope you enjoy :) Bell is referred to as They/Them as you did not specify what kind of Bell you wanted.

This is mostly rambling and may be short but it was me giving my view on the character and their potential. I wanted to explore it a bit so there's no real plot.

Yandere! Bell Concept/Overview

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Mentioned self-aware behavior but not focused, General Bell thoughts, Stalking, Brainwashing, General yandere behavior, Character death, Dubious companionship.

Bell can be both interesting yet difficult to write so I will try to keep this rather general.

Bell could be difficult since their character is primarily meant for the player to insert themselves into.

They're meant to be so the player can interact with the story and feel like a part of it.

This would be difficult to try and convey, however, it opens many different possibilities.

Bell would be like a customizable yandere.

In a story you can pick and choose how you'd want Bell to be.

Bell would work even better in a "Self-Aware" story since they'd act as a host for the player and are extremely player dependent.

Your little puppet.

A reflection of you.

Overall Bell could really have any sort of yandere personality traits due to being a blank canvas.

You could see Bell as soft or someone who follows their darling like a puppy.

Maybe you could see them as a worship yandere.

Maybe you could see them as cruel, perhaps even prior to the brainwashing?

As a result, the darling is just as customizable.

You could be a part of the CIA or know Bell prior to the brainwashing.

There's a lot of potential.

The things is, how to write Bell is you'd need to be specific.

That's why I'm mostly just looking over the character.

Honestly my favorite ideas may be the Self-Aware one and Bell with a fellow CIA agent.

The Self-Aware one is self explanatory, I mentioned it before.

But the CIA agent one could also be fun to explore.

You know you shouldn't get attached or involve yourself with Bell.

They've been brainwashed with MK-ULTRA to find out info on Perseus.

That's all, afterwards they may just be tossed away.

For now they just need to be alive until the mission is finished and over.

However, Bell appears to have some sort of adoration for you one way or another.

Maybe somewhere in their memories they seem to recall you being important to them.

It's most likely a fabricated memory to coax more information out of them, but it works.

How Bell deals with such information could vary.

They may follow you around, they may be overly protective/clingy, they could be possessive, they could be any number of things.

They don't understand why you never like being around them.

Truthfully you either don't care or don't want to be attached.

Either way, Bell would want to treat you more than a "comrade".

They either see you as a close friend they "fought alongside" or maybe even a lover.

They have no idea you and Adler just need them for information.

Bell may most likely be "gotten rid of" before they become too much of a problem for you due to their obsession.

If they are a softer and more docile yandere, it feels horrible to know Adler did them in.

If they are rougher and more intense, it may feel like a relief when they're gone.

Player created characters like Bell have potential to be interesting once you have traits decided.

Unfortunately as a result I can't really assign Bell any definitive yandere behavior for them.

They seem like a puppet, a husk, meant to follow orders due to all of the brainwashing.

Regardless... a blank slate character can still have endless potential if you have a plot to work with.

No two Bell stories would be the same, essentially.

Bell is a wild card when it comes to their darling.

Which can mean they're a dangerous yandere if you think about it.

[graveyard-party666]

Ain't it a gentle sound, the rollin' in the graves?

Halloween is near, so i decided to do a little AU! for Blood and Wine series.

Meet Vampire!Red everyone.

I decided to make prompts that might turn into a one shot soon.

Special thanks to @cloudofbutterflies92 for the pic and inspo❤.

Song inspo: Hozier - NFWMB

Vampire!Red who didn't ask to be a vampire but takes it well enough to control her hunger.

Vampire!Red who works with Laswell and CIA because of her abilities and need to help others the best she can.

Vampire!Red laughing at stereotypes about vampires and mythical creatures.

Her working with TF141 and not wanting to scare them away.

TF141 being a bit flabbergasted by the fact that vampires are real.

Soap asking lots of questions about Vampire!Red's food habits only to find out she is able to eat human food but it doesn't fill her up as good as blood.

Ghost who feels weirdly drawn to the vampire and thinking it's because this might be one of her powers.

Price smoking much more often since he found out vampires are real but still being kind towards Red.

Gaz needing a few moments to digest the information.

Vampire!Red being awkward about people knowing she's not human, trying to act nonchalant and failing miserably.

Ghost and Vampire!Red being partners on the field even if Red doesn't like being in the battlefield.

Vampire!Red being femme fatale without wanting to be one yet embracing it completely.

Vampire!Red not understanding and not being able to read Ghost as well as others in TF141.

Vampire!Red not letting anyone too close.

Vampire!Red feeling the need to push away any romantic thoughts but still wanting to love.

Vampire!Red liking the feeling of being included by people and having friends again.

Vampire!Red feeling people's sadness.

Ghost thinking of Red not as a vampire, but as a woman.

Tag list: @cloudofbutterflies92 @chloekistune

[hummingjay]

For the ask thing: I'm not bringing the "Kasuar are self inserts" because it has been disproved, but BOY I can't help but think you're projecting onto them (as most artists do)

On another topic: I wouldn't be surprised if at least once at some point you've been this 👌 close to be hit by a car, or involved in some big accident. Also, you probably play/played DOOM or CoD

Okey, not self -insert (intentionally at least) but yeah I can't even deny it at this point it's totally projection. I think it's cause I work with what I know? which is ME! so yeah projection galore.

I have. I have been hit by cars before it is not as bad as it sounds (probably cause it wasn't fast). (I know you have and it was a lot worse {ecstatic you're better now btw I noticed you were missing and GOD was I worried}) but yes, one time when I was a kid and it was going slow and because my reflexes were awesome and also i was extremely intelligent I jumped out of the way right into another car. (i was mostly fine) and more recently I was biking and Some butthead in the parking lot was on the wrong side of the road (I do not know why) rammed into me after turning a corner (i say butthead because he yelled at me to watch where I was biking. I WAS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD) and I kinda maybe flipped off my bike and onto the road? It was rad and the flip was epic. I got to stand up all cool-like and skedaddled away. (I think this was a month or so back)

I've also been in more car crashes than is normal as a passenger. Minor bumps then skids and one time on the highway but once again i've got ALLLLL my bones and I'm fine.

One time our breaks failed and i had to get out of the car to physically stop it after we slowed down a bit. Not really a crash but it was really fun.

The near-misses are great too since one time (also biking) a car puled right in front of me and I panic-swerved and fell off bridge. It was fine since it was water and not a big fall but I still fell off a bridge. Other near misses are boring recounts of narrow misses so i'll just say it happened a couple times.

ALSO i don't think i've ever played doom alas. (i'm gonna though) and I only played COD black ops 3 on a cousins console a whiiiiiiile back. I play similarish games like Ghost recon and Helldivers though!

[foxessnout]

who wants to hear abt my cod ocs (one is a sort-of-self-insert...) (and maybe you can tell about yours too and perhaps thry could meet and be friends or enemies or found family or lovers or!)