#coily the spring sprite

[mst3kgifs]

Where does Coily fit into God's plan for us?

[tlaquetzqui]

Me, getting tennis elbow from throwing the cat’s little bouncy coiled toy: Springs! I hope I never see another spring again as long as I live!

Soru: I’ll see to it you get that wish! *bats it under the refrigerator*

[jimintomystery]

"Pshew...springs! I hope I never see another spring as long as I live..."

"I heard your wish and...well, you're gonna get it! No more springs for you from now on!"

"Well...I still don't have to fix the couch, so eat me."

[fleetsparrow]

Guys, I fucked up.

I was trying to summon the spirit of Spring and I accidentally got this guy.

Be careful with your summoning, kids!

[texasthrillbilly]

Coily, you little dick.

[thinkbolt]

Ok, I'm done with Spring!

[emilysidhe]

MST3Knitathon continues:

79. Episode 423 Bride of the Monster

Content Warning: Unfortunately, every Ed Wood movie they do contains references and comments to Ed Wood being a cross-dresser. I didn’t catch anything particularly vicious (“Wardrobe for Ed Wood provided by Mrs Wood” said over the credits is typical of the tone), but the tenor is definitely that it’s supposed to be funny to point out that this man liked wearing women’s clothing.

Summary: It’s a milestone! Our first Ed Wood movie! But the episode starts with the short Hired! Part 1. Hired! was produced as a training film for managers at Chevrolet dealerships, and is one of the more adorable shorts MST3K has done. In the first part, eager young Jimmy is hired as a new salesman and his manager gives him two binders of information to memorize about Chevrolet’s current lines and regular customers. We see Jimmy working very hard, but the binders have not taught him how to sell cars as he doesn’t know what to do with the customer list except start knocking on doors to see if they want to upgrade, and he doesn’t know enough about competitors’ cars to explain why Chevrolet models are better. At home, the manager sits on the porch and complains to his dad that Jimmy’s low sales numbers mean that young men just don’t work as hard as they used to, but dad suggests that lack of effort may not be the problem. We’ll get dad’s advice in part two, but we’ll have to wait all the way until the number one ranked episode(!) to hear it.

In the movie proper, Bela Lugosi plays a scientist who was exiled from his unnamed European homeland after proposing to use atomic energy to turn people into large and strong “supermen” who could take over the world. Right now he’s hanging out in a swamp with his two successes - a giant octopus and the imposing manservant Lobo played by Swedish wrestler and entertainer Tor Johnson - and continuing his experiments, but his test subjects often die on the table. An enterprising female reporter comes around to look into the disappearances in the swamp (some the victims of the experiments, some eaten by the octopus), and he decides to transform her into a bride for Lobo to create his race of supermen genetically. Can her police detective fiancé find her before it’s too late?

MST3K lore or notable moments: The Hired! The Musical sketch (see below)

and Crow’s second appearance as Willy the Waffle, a parody of Coily the Spring Sprite from the short A Case of Spring Fever, which the show started making fun of now even though they wouldn’t get the rights to actually show it for six more years! (We’ll get to it at 58 on the list). Here, Willy warns of the dangers of a world without advertising, but everyone is pleased by the changes.

What do I think about it’s place on the list? Ed Wood has a reputation as the creator behind the worst movies ever made, which MST3K will prove undeserved. (We have not seen any of the contenders for worst film that they covered yet, and all of them are noticeably worse than anything in Mr. Wood’s oeuvre.) He is, however, probably the most watchable of the bad movie makers. The giant animatronic octopus he rented doesn’t work, his actors aren’t properly miked so everyone without stage experience (which is most of them - he worked mainly with amateurs. Lugosi projects his voice just fine) shout their lines like they have a bad cell phone connection, and the action scenes follow a goofy cartoon logic that doesn’t match the “suspenseful” tone. But the plot is extremely followable (it’s a hallmark of other bad movie directors that they can’t get enough information on the screen for you to know what’s going on) and whether it’s something ludicrous like an octopus blowing up in a nuclear explosion that doesn’t imperil people standing fifteen feet away or one of the genuinely good moments he manages to capture like Lugosi’s speech about his isolation from his homeland, something entertaining is happening onscreen most of the time. When you combine that with a riff that made me laugh out loud more often than any other episode so far and the fantastic Hired! musical sketch, this episode is just too good to be ranked this low.

[sarahwatchesthings]

My body, in Coily the Spring Sprite voice: So! You don't wanna go to your dentist appointment this morning! Okay, Missy! I'll fix it so you get that wish! *afflicts me with crippling nausea for no reason*

[kyleondemand]

Shit that’s on my mind at 3am

Remember this scene from the Simpsons?

Did it ever strike you as an odd sequence? Like yeah they’re parodying these old TV era infomercials and PSA’s, but does the sequence seem a little… intentional? Like it wasn’t just made up by the Simpsons writers?

Well the good news is A World Without Zinc is made up but it isn’t JUST a pastiche either. It was directly inspired by this real thing

This short involves a man coming to grips with a world where springs were never invented.

The first half of the springs video is bizarre enough, with Coily the Cartoon Spring standing in for his wonderful life sprite guiding him along his fictitious world without springs. Where this video gets completely unhinged is where he ambushes and bombards his golfing buddies with his new encyclopedic knowledge of what springs are and how they transfer energy and really wishes his buddies would join him in his new Spring Fandom and maybe even attend CoilCon '69 as he shows up in his custom home made SpringSuit of his Coilsona. You can practically see his friends plotting together to never invite this guy out to do anything again.

Coily may have made this guy appreciate an important invention, but he cost him his social life.

[mst3kgifs]

I anticipated your complaint!

[acid-lich]

In honor of the holiday have some thematically appropriate art 🤖🦃🥧

[dollsahoy]

posing Coily? The Spring Sprite?

Hey,tumblr staff....dont recommend me scantily clad dainty women posing coily? I dont want to see thag

[omnybus]

Considering that “A Case of Spring Fever” is in the Public Domain, I’m surprised I haven’t seen anyone try and use him to promote memory foam mattresses.

“Lots of sleep... NOOOOOO SPRINGS! EH-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE!”

[gamewtfs]

NOOOO SHIPS, says Shippy the Ship Sprite!

[thinkbolt]

NO SPRINGS!!!

[indyexploits]

NO SPRINGS! HAHAHAHA!

After much thought, I've decided to send you all to Spring Yard Zone, enjoy the springs, suckers