#computing is our weapon

[somnoir]

Little star's favorite

It all started when Talia came to Gotham with a gift.

The gift in question was a twelve year old boy.

Bruce stared at the boy who was almost the exact replica of Damian if not for the blue eyes and longer hair. He looked utterly perplexed at the sight of Bruce, tilting his head before frowning at his mother with a visibly displeased look.

"Beloved, may I introduce you to Danyal, our Damian's twin brother. He was... Away... On a mission until recently." Talia hummed, a hand on Danyal's back.

"You... You didn't think to tell me about him when you told me about Damian?" Shutting his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked down at the boy who looked a little more like him than Talia and felt himself softening. "Hello Danyal."

"Hello."

Talia smiled, before her expression fell. "A little warning, beloved. The twins do not get along. Damian is quite the competitive child and Danyal... Well, he's the nicer one if I must say." She shrugged, running her fingers through her son's hair before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Go on now, Najmi As-Sagheer (my little star)."

"Ummi... Must I join them? I am perfectly fine with remaining in the league." Danyal muttered, eye twitching but his expression was quickly schooled into neutrality.

"Yes, Danyal." She sighed, "I have no intention of letting father keep you."

Bruce raised a brow at her words.

"That is a conversation for another time, habibi." Talia lazily insisted, gently pushing Danyal towards Bruce.

Bruce, for all he's lived, immediately recognized a feral cat in the form a child. Yep. Another Damian. That was seemingly the nicer one.

But he was scruffy little thing who was being called little star by his mother. Bruce blinked, offering his hand to Danyal (like how a person would do by letting a cat sniff his hand to see if they were safe).

Danyal, more twitchy and annoyed than his brother, looked at the hand like it had personally offended him.

And that is how Batman brought home another child while holding him by the scruff.

(Danny hated everyone except for Alfred—both cat and butler)

Danyal was a much quieter person compared to Damian. Unlike his brother who had practically came into their lives guns blazing and declaring that he was the rightful heir to the bat, Danyal mainly ignored them. He would glare, snarl, and scowl, but not in the way Damian did. The kid was obviously threatened by them, but more for his own safety rather than inheritance.

He avoided them like the plague, only welcoming the company of Alfred and occasionally Cass.

He didn't join in on the vigilante business, opting to stay back with Oracle and just quietly direct them on their missions. It was strange in all honesty.

They didn't know much about Danyal, aside from the fact that his mother called him little star for his natural love of space. That he liked to tinker with gadgets and make his own weapons. That he really liked fudge.

Aside from that, the kid was quiet and was usually hiding out in his room.

Tim wasn't particularly thrilled to have another demon brat in the family. He avoided Danyal as much as possible expecting for the boy to be just like his brother and attack him.

But apparently not.

It's one of those unfortunate times that Tim's sleep deprivation and overload on energy drinks gets him benched by Alfred and not Bruce. No one particularly wanted to argue with their beloved butler/grandpa so Tim was stuck in place. It was a much quieter night than usual, almost peaceful (as much as Gotham can get).

Babs was relieved of her duties to have a night off, rest and relax and such, while Tim manned the bat computer in Oracle's place. He almost didn't notice the mop of black hair that suddenly appeared beside him.

Tim didn't want to admit it, but he flinched at Danyal's presence and how he was quietly standing there with a tray of coffee and cookies. Blue eyes blinked at him, silently pushing the tray forward to offer Tim the lone cup (most likely for him) and the plate of cookies.

Suspicious, Tim narrowed his eyes. "Alfred wouldn't make me coffee after benching me for this kind of thing."

Danyal shrugged, "Made it myself. Thought you'd need it since the others will be gone for a while."

"That's poisoned."

"It's not." Danyal frowned, immediately taking the cup and taking a couple sips himself before once again offering it to Tim.

Now, Tim wasn't stupid enough to ignore the possibility of Danyal having some tolerance to poison. But Tim was also tolerant to a lot of poisons so might as well.

When taking one sip, he was already feeling weird. One, there was no poison. Two, it was actually pretty good.

Danyal just sat there and stared at the screen, munching on cookies and pointing at the screen whenever Robin started to stray from the patrol route. Tim had a lot of fun reportingtattling to Bruce about it.

Eventually, it became a routine.

Danyal always sat beside Tim. Quiet and just offering random stuff, either food, some little gadget he made, or just the most bizarre stuff he found while at school.

Tim learned many things about his weird little brother. How cameras go crazy around him. How he had his reasons for not being touched. How Danyal was more silent than Cass. How Danyal vanished and reappeared at times.

(The glowing green eyes were the most concerning.)

He never really took notice of how Danyal started to gravitate to him. Always with him, barely without.

(Tim refused to admit that he was just the same.)

"Can I go on patrol with you?" Danyal asked, tugging at his Red Robin suit with a curious look. "I wanna meet Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn."

And Tim didn't really see much of a problem with that. Danyal was a highly trained assassin that Ra's apparently trusted to go on a solo mission while Damian had to be whisked away from the league. It wasn't too absurd for Tim to just shrug and let his kid brother tag along.

He was also very sure that his baby brother was an eldritch being with how the shadows seemed to rise around him. Yeah, the baby was a cryptid amongst a family of supposed cryptids. Very fitting.

It's a nice night. With Danny running amok with Tim, clearly having fun. But that one looks of sadness didn't escape Tim when Danny paused and looked to the sky with longing.

Tim remembers how Danny rambled about the stars in their shared moments, where it's just them.

Tim remembers how Danny would describe the sky in Nanda Parbar and how he often snuck out just to see it.

Tim remembers how much his little brother likes space and turns to the cloudy sky of Gotham that hides the stars.

Tim remembers how he was often depraved of the brotherly love he wanted. How he didn't get the full experience of having an older brother.

"You okay, little star?"

Danyal snapped his head towards Tim, eyes blown wide and flashing green (he knows that wasn't normal but he ignores that in favor to the way Danyal visibly softens at the nickname).

"'m okay, akhi." Danyal muttered, following after Tim after adjusting his own hood.

And it's like his heart stops.

Yep.

Tim has had Danyal for barely a year and he was willing to throw hands with Ra's, Talia, and Bruce for him.

"C'mon, qalbi(my heart). Batburger's still open."

He barely noticed the shift after that. But others think it's a glaring change that often made them stop and stare.

Danyal went to Tim whenever he needed anything.

If Danyal wasn't in bed, you'd find him snuggled up to Tim.

Danyal hated it when people touched him... Except for Tim.

Danyal liked Tim the most.

The day Dick thought it was a good idea to call Danyal 'Danny' (a nickname that was only used by Tim and Alfred), he almost got stabbed. Well, that's where all the stabbiness went to.

Safe to say, Tim was Danny's favorite.

And Danny was Tim's.

"Drake! What have you done to my brother?!" Damian pointed a katana at Tim, who lazily glanced his way before turning back to Danny who was comfortably snuggled up to him and watching Blue while Tim scrolled on Tiktok.

"I haven't done anything to Danny, demon brat. Now shoo!" Tim's irritation could be heard from a mile away, shamelessly shooing Damian away with a flick of his wrist. Then the next second, he was combing his fingers through Danny's hair and listening to his younger brother make a purring noise.

(Another point of investigation because that is not fucking normal, Tim. Cute though!)

"I refuse to believe that Danyal would prefer you over me!"

"You're just salty that he stabs you like you stab me." Tim waved him off again, watching as Danny yawned and continued to ignore everyone else.

The click of a camera immediately alerts him and he's tugging Danny down before the much younger boy lunges at Dick.

"Woah! What's up with him?" Dick nervously asked, instinctively raising his phone above his head.

"Delete that!" Tim snarled, pulling Danny closer and guiding his brothers face to his shoulder. "You know he hates it when people take pictures without consent!"

(Tim doesn't tell them that something goes every wrong with the footage if Danny was ever in the picture.)

"Dick." Tim warned, effortlessly picking up Danny, because yes, his seemingly cryptid baby brother could become weightless, and snatched Dick's phone. Yep. Instead of Danny, there was a very strange figure, a glitching silhouette of black and green. He deletes it immediately.

Dick was pouring, "I don't have any pics of Danny—"

"Don't call me that, Richard." Danny scowled, clinging to Tim like a koala. He was strangely more child-like than Damian, muttering about annoying people who interrupted bonding time. (Dick was just forced to pout.)

"Danyal." Damian crossed his arms, scowling at Danny who was still comfortably cuddled up to Tim. "It is not appropriate to cling to Drake in such a way! You will embarrass our mother and father if you are seen acting like a petulant child!"

Tim wanted to argue that no, he wouldn't embarrass Talia and Bruce by being a kid, but Danny just grabbed a cookie from nowhere (note to self, add possible teleportation powers to cryptid baby) and shoved it into his mouth.

Danny just yawned, fixing Damian with a lazy glare.

"Tuhali, can you shut up?"

Damian stood stock still, while Jason and Bruce choked on their own spit. Jason slapping a hand over his mouth and Bruce just staring at his twins like the apocalypse was about to return.

"What did you just call me?"

Danny yawne again, "My spleen."

Tim knew what Tuhali meant. Of course he fucking knew Arabic! But to think that his cryptid baby brother was straight up calling Damian his spleen?

The spleen that Tim doesn't have.

The spleen that's important to the immune system but you can survive without it?

Tim grinned, grabbing his cryptid baby and made a run for it.

Yep.

Danny was definitely his favorite.

Credits to: @strangergraphics for the dividers used.

[spikeoshields]

Fun fact about real life humans. Europe had functioning designs and examples of steel cannons for a long time before they were ever used in battle. And its not from a lack of opportunity.

Leaders just didn’t care for the expense or risk of upgrading when brass had worked so well for napoleon.

Same with the machine jun, they weren’t used (in europe) for years for various small mostly subjective reasons.

And then someone lost without them.

And everyone got the upgrades.

Picture this: Space war, other species see humans as a loud but primitive race that only just joined the stars, easy to crush. The first few battles even go there way.

And then suddenly our weapons are MUCH better. Our ships we MUCH better. Our computers and training and shields. Everything is leaps and bounds ahead.

Cause you see we’ve had that technology for years, we just didn’t implement it because there was no need to. Whether it’s human nature or capitalism, we don’t improve until we’re forced to, until something makes us.

But now there was a war,

now we could justify the cost,

so we stopped holding ourselves back.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Kickstarting a book to end enshittification, because Amazon will not carry it

My next book is The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation: it’s a Big Tech disassembly manual that explains how to disenshittify the web and bring back the old good internet. The hardcover comes from Verso on Sept 5, but the audiobook comes from me — because Amazon refuses to sell my audio:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/the-internet-con-how-to-seize-the-means-of-computation

Amazon owns Audible, the monopoly audiobook platform that controls >90% of the audio market. They require mandatory DRM for every book sold, locking those books forever to Amazon’s monopoly platform. If you break up with Amazon, you have to throw away your entire audiobook library.

That’s a hell of a lot of leverage to hand to any company, let alone a rapacious monopoly that ran a program targeting small publishers called “Project Gazelle,” where execs were ordered to attack indie publishers “the way a cheetah would pursue a sickly gazelle”:

https://www.businessinsider.com/sadistic-amazon-treated-book-sellers-the-way-a-cheetah-would-pursue-a-sickly-gazelle-2013-10

[Image ID: Journalist and novelist Doctorow (Red Team Blues) details a plan for how to break up Big Tech in this impassioned and perceptive manifesto….Doctorow’s sense of urgency is contagious -Publishers Weekly]

I won’t sell my work with DRM, because DRM is key to the enshittification of the internet. Enshittification is why the old, good internet died and became “five giant websites filled with screenshots of the other four” (h/t Tom Eastman). When a tech company can lock in its users and suppliers, it can drain value from both sides, using DRM and other lock-in gimmicks to keep their business even as they grow ever more miserable on the platform.

Here is how platforms die: first, they are good to their users; then they abuse their users to make things better for their business customers; finally, they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. Then, they die:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

[Image ID: A brilliant barn burner of a book. Cory is one of the sharpest tech critics, and he shows with fierce clarity how our computational future could be otherwise -Kate Crawford, author of The Atlas of AI”]

The Internet Con isn’t just an analysis of where enshittification comes from: it’s a detailed, shovel-ready policy prescription for halting enshittification, throwing it into reverse and bringing back the old, good internet.

How do we do that? With interoperability: the ability to plug new technology into those crapulent, decaying platform. Interop lets you choose which parts of the service you want and block the parts you don’t (think of how an adblocker lets you take the take-it-or-leave “offer” from a website and reply with “How about nah?”):

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/07/adblocking-how-about-nah

But interop isn’t just about making platforms less terrible — it’s an explosive charge that demolishes walled gardens. With interop, you can leave a social media service, but keep talking to the people who stay. With interop, you can leave your mobile platform, but bring your apps and media with you to a rival’s service. With interop, you can break up with Amazon, and still keep your audiobooks.

So, if interop is so great, why isn’t it everywhere?

Well, it used to be. Interop is how Microsoft became the dominant operating system:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/06/adversarial-interoperability-reviving-elegant-weapon-more-civilized-age-slay

[Image ID: Nobody gets the internet-both the nuts and bolts that make it hum and the laws that shaped it into the mess it is-quite like Cory, and no one’s better qualified to deliver us a user manual for fixing it. That’s The Internet Con: a rousing, imaginative, and accessible treatise for correcting our curdled online world. If you care about the internet, get ready to dedicate yourself to making interoperability a reality. -Brian Merchant, author of Blood in the Machine]

It’s how Apple saved itself from Microsoft’s vicious campaign to destroy it:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/06/adversarial-interoperability-reviving-elegant-weapon-more-civilized-age-slay

Every tech giant used interop to grow, and then every tech giant promptly turned around and attacked interoperators. Every pirate wants to be an admiral. When Big Tech did it, that was progress; when you do it back to Big Tech, that’s piracy. The tech giants used their monopoly power to make interop without permission illegal, creating a kind of “felony contempt of business model” (h/t Jay Freeman).

The Internet Con describes how this came to pass, but, more importantly, it tells us how to fix it. It lays out how we can combine different kinds of interop requirements (like the EU’s Digital Markets Act and Massachusetts’s Right to Repair law) with protections for reverse-engineering and other guerrilla tactics to create a system that is strong without being brittle, hard to cheat on and easy to enforce.

What’s more, this book explains how to get these policies: what existing legislative, regulatory and judicial powers can be invoked to make them a reality. Because we are living through the Great Enshittification, and crises erupt every ten seconds, and when those crises occur, the “good ideas lying around” can move from the fringes to the center in an eyeblink:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/12/only-a-crisis/#lets-gooooo

[Image ID: Thoughtfully written and patiently presented, The Internet Con explains how the promise of a free and open internet was lost to predatory business practices and the rush to commodify every aspect of our lives. An essential read for anyone that wants to understand how we lost control of our digital spaces and infrastructure to Silicon Valley’s tech giants, and how we can start fighting to get it back. -Tim Maughan, author of INFINITE DETAIL]

After all, we’ve known Big Tech was rotten for years, but we had no idea what to do about it. Every time a Big Tech colossus did something ghastly to millions or billions of people, we tried to fix the tech company. There’s no fixing the tech companies. They need to burn. The way to make users safe from Big Tech predators isn’t to make those predators behave better — it’s to evacuate those users:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/18/urban-wildlife-interface/#combustible-walled-gardens

I’ve been campaigning for human rights in the digital world for more than 20 years; I’ve been EFF’s European Director, representing the public interest at the EU, the UN, Westminster, Ottawa and DC. This is the subject I’ve devoted my life to, and I live my principles. I won’t let my books be sold with DRM, which means that Audible won’t carry my audiobooks. My agent tells me that this decision has cost me enough money to pay off my mortgage and put my kid through college. That’s a price I’m willing to pay if it means that my books aren’t enshittification bait.

But not selling on Audible has another cost, one that’s more important to me: a lot of readers prefer audiobooks and 9 out of 10 of those readers start and end their searches on Audible. When they don’t find an author there, they assume no audiobook exists, period. It got so bad I put up an audiobook on Amazon — me, reading an essay, explaining how Audible rips off writers and readers. It’s called “Why None of My Audiobooks Are For Sale on Audible”:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/25/can-you-hear-me-now/#acx-ripoff

[Image ID: Doctorow has been thinking longer and smarter than anyone else I know about how we create and exchange value in a digital age. -Douglas Rushkoff, author of Present Shock]

To get my audiobooks into readers’ ears, I pre-sell them on Kickstarter. This has been wildly successful, both financially and as a means of getting other prominent authors to break up with Amazon and use crowdfunding to fill the gap. Writers like Brandon Sanderson are doing heroic work, smashing Amazon’s monopoly:

https://www.brandonsanderson.com/guest-editorial-cory-doctorow-is-a-bestselling-author-but-audible-wont-carry-his-audiobooks/

And to be frank, I love audiobooks, too. I swim every day as physio for a chronic pain condition, and I listen to 2–3 books/month on my underwater MP3 player, disappearing into an imaginary world as I scull back and forth in my public pool. I’m able to get those audiobooks on my MP3 player thanks to Libro.fm, a DRM-free store that supports indie booksellers all over the world:

https://blog.libro.fm/a-qa-with-mark-pearson-libro-fm-ceo-and-co-founder/

Producing my own audiobooks has been a dream. Working with Skyboat Media, I’ve gotten narrators like @wilwheaton​, Amber Benson, @neil-gaiman​ and Stefan Rudnicki for my work:

https://craphound.com/shop/

[Image ID: “This book is the instruction manual Big Tech doesn’t want you to read. It deconstructs their crummy products, undemocratic business models, rigged legal regimes, and lies. Crack this book and help build something better. -Astra Taylor, author of Democracy May Not Exist, but We’ll Miss It When Its Gone”]

But for this title, I decided that I would read it myself. After all, I’ve been podcasting since 2006, reading my own work aloud every week or so, even as I traveled the world and gave thousands of speeches about the subject of this book. I was excited (and a little trepedatious) at the prospect, but how could I pass up a chance to work with director Gabrielle de Cuir, who has directed everyone from Anne Hathaway to LeVar Burton to Eric Idle?

Reader, I fucking nailed it. I went back to those daily recordings fully prepared to hate them, but they were good — even great (especially after my engineer John Taylor Williams mastered them). Listen for yourself!

https://archive.org/details/cory_doctorow_internet_con_chapter_01

I hope you’ll consider backing this Kickstarter. If you’ve ever read my free, open access, CC-licensed blog posts and novels, or listened to my podcasts, or come to one of my talks and wished there was a way to say thank you, this is it. These crowdfunders make my DRM-free publishing program viable, even as audiobooks grow more central to a writer’s income and even as a single company takes over nearly the entire audiobook market.

Backers can choose from the DRM-free audiobook, DRM-free ebook (EPUB and MOBI) and a hardcover — including a signed, personalized option, fulfilled through the great LA indie bookstore Book Soup:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/the-internet-con-how-to-seize-the-means-of-computation

What’s more, these ebooks and audiobooks are unlike any you’ll get anywhere else because they are sold without any terms of service or license agreements. As has been the case since time immemorial, when you buy these books, they’re yours, and you are allowed to do anything with them that copyright law permits — give them away, lend them to friends, or simply read them with any technology you choose.

As with my previous Kickstarters, backers can get their audiobooks delivered with an app (from libro.fm) or as a folder of MP3s. That helps people who struggle with “sideloading,” a process that Apple and Google have made progressively harder, even as they force audiobook and ebook sellers to hand over a 30% app tax on every dollar they make:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/red-team-blues-another-audiobook-that-amazon-wont-sell/posts/3788112

Enshittification is rotting every layer of the tech stack: mobile, payments, hosting, social, delivery, playback. Every tech company is pulling the rug out from under us, using the chokepoints they built between audiences and speakers, artists and fans, to pick all of our pockets.

The Internet Con isn’t just a lament for the internet we lost — it’s a plan to get it back. I hope you’ll get a copy and share it with the people you love, even as the tech platforms choke off your communities to pad their quarterly numbers.

Next weekend (Aug 4-6), I'll be in Austin for Armadillocon, a science fiction convention, where I'm the Guest of Honor:

https://armadillocon.org/d45/

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/31/seize-the-means-of-computation/#the-internet-con

[Image ID: My forthcoming book 'The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation' in various editions: Verso hardcover, audiobook displayed on a phone, and ebook displayed on an e-ink reader.]

[lunamugetsu]

Danny is a house husband.

That's it, that's all it is.

As the years went on. Danny retired from being a superhero. There was no need for Phantom when the GIW were dealt with and all the ghosts were under control.

Now what's left for him to do but to just sit back, relax, and finally be able to live his life.

Sam and Tucker on the other hand....

Well, they had plenty of pent up rage, wits, and chaos inside their mind to become villains.

But they had one rule.

Never bring work home and to never involve Danny in any of their supervillain business.

Okay that's technically two rules, but they're kind of synonymous especially since Danny has been taking care of their house while also entertaining himself with trying new hobbies.

Tucker and Sam both make sure that they never bring any of their villainy home to Danny, because all they want is for Danny to enjoy his happy hero retirement.

And Danny in turn, doesn't bat an eye when watching the news and seeing that there were magical plants that were attacking sites that oil companies were digging or that somehow Lex Luthor had lost five hundred million dollars and had somehow leaked records showing he was building weapons of mass destruction.

He also doesn't bat an eye when he sees that Tucker had brought home a telescope that definitely looks like it came from some fancy lab because hey, Tucker was making him an observatory so he can look at the stars and planets. While also how they were able to make a great gaming pc with computer parts that are definitely not sold in stores, because hey at least the newest update of Doomed wasn't lagging.

Or that Sam comes home with various plants and animals that are definitely not from planet earth, but hey the three headed wolf-lizard-eagle- hybrid thing (that Danny has affectionately named Fluffy) is pretty great at keeping the pests away from his vegetable garden and likes to eat any of Danny's new food creations and is a great playmate for Cujo.

So you can imagine how the Justice League thinks when dealing with the pair of new villains: Upload (Tucker) and Sam (I could not think of a villain name that would suit her, so it's up to you what you think her villain name would be)

And how they were currently wreaking havoc in the city either by cyber warfare with robots or by magic plant monster or a Frankenstein of both approaches. The heroes had all evacuated the civilians from the battle zone and are currently fighting a losing battle. When they've been effectively captured and restrained by the two. Right before the villains could go into a monologue, they hear a person clearing their throat.

Everybody looks to see a 25 year old man wearing a sweater vest (he made it himself, thank you very much) currently holding onto the leash of a giant glowing green dog and some kind of giant animal hybrid. The man's arms were crossed and was currently not sporting a very happy look on his face.

Tucker and Sam (looking at Danny with hesitant smiles): Hi honey.

Danny (frowning): you missed our anniversary dinner.

Tucker and Sam both pale as they quickly realized what the date and time was.

The league all watch as Sam and Tucker immediately start apologizing to the man that just walked into a battle zone.

Danny (still frowning): Hmph! I guess since you two didn't want dinner you can go back to your little fight. Don't expect me to make you any lunches for the next month, and since you two are having so much fun here, you'll be sleeping by yourselves for the next couple weeks.

The league all watch as they were let go as Sam and Tucker yell as they run after Danny yelling apologies as he was walking away from them.

This is not the last they see of Danny.

When Danny is displeased with either of his partners, he'll invite a hero over to have lunch of afternoon tea.

[puppetsoftomorrow]

i think the legends visited team arrows base and felicity gives them a tour of like, all the security measures and the sick computer set up and the weapons and the special suits area and behrad is like woah! where do you guys sleep? and oliver is like?? our houses?? and up until that point the legends had not considered that. they're so thrown they're calling up kara and barry like?? what do you mean you don't sleep in your secret bases?? do you hang out with your team 24/7?? are we the only ones with a chore wheel??

[boiled-cats]

Guys

Guys what if

What if sagau and sahsrau reverse isekai, but they appear in our world as a size proportional to the screen you play on

So, like, if you play hsr on your phone, you can expect to see a tiny trailblazer on your desk, about 1 or 2 inches tall, trying to fashion a weapon out of paperclips and a thumbtack

Or if you’re on your computer, accidentally kicking a 5 inch tall Xiao across the floor while trying to get a midnight snack because he was patrolling the house for demons

[chadobi]

2007 Leo getting called out by everyone back at the Lair for saying “that” line during the fight sequence. Donnie replaying it from the body cameras and everyone having a good laugh, but a female reader following him to the dojo afterwards for some quiet meditation and feeling reveals, then playful banter, kisses, and cuddles. With her also making fun of his word choice and Leo just giving up and tickling her to the mat! 🤣

Okey just let me tell you that this one is a little crigne but i promised i tried! Anyway i hope you will like that!

“Come to… WHAT?”

The laughter echoed through the lair like rolling thunder.

“No, no, wait—play it again!” Mikey wheezed, clutching his sides, tears in his eyes.

“I am never letting this go,” Raph grinned wickedly from the couch.

Donnie was hunched over the computer, smirking like a mad scientist. “Body cam footage doesn’t lie, Leo. Audio and visual. Crystal clear. Observe—”

The screen flickered to life again with grainy but unmistakable footage of Leonardo, swords flashing, eyes narrowed in intense focus as he lunged at a Foot soldier and barked:

“Come to daddy!”

The entire room erupted.

Leo groaned from where he stood, arms crossed, face flushed a deep green. “I was in the moment!”

“You were in something, alright,” Mikey cackled.

“Bet that Foot soldier’s still in therapy,” Raph added. “Nightmares. Wakes up screaming ‘No daddy, please!’”

Even Donnie chuckled as he clicked pause. “I’ve already archived it in four different formats. It’s our new screensaver.”

Leo turned and stalked off with an exaggerated sigh. “I’m going to meditate before I strangle one of you.”

The others just howled louder.

⸻

You followed Leo quietly, slipping away from the chaos of the living room. He didn’t look back as you entered the dojo, but his posture softened at your presence. He was already kneeling on the mat, swords laid beside him in ritualistic calm.

“Came to laugh at me too?” he muttered, eyes still closed.

You sat across from him, legs tucked beneath you. “I came to offer support… and maybe a little teasing.”

He cracked an eye. “Traitor.”

You grinned, mimicking his earlier tone. “Come to daddy…”

“No.” He opened both eyes now, glaring in mock agony.

You giggled. “Seriously though, what was that?”

“I was hyped! I had adrenaline! You say things in the moment!”

“Right, like ‘Come to daddy.’ Very ninja of you.”

Leo groaned and dropped back onto the mat, one hand over his face. “I’ll never live this down.”

You crawled forward, flopping beside him, propping yourself up on your elbow as you looked down at him fondly. “Nope. But… I kinda loved it. Weirdly hot.”

He lifted his hand and peeked at you. “You’re messing with me.”

“Maybe,” you said sweetly. “Maybe not.”

You leaned down and kissed his cheek, letting it linger. His expression softened, the embarrassment melting into something quieter, more tender.

“Thanks for coming after me,” he said softly. “Even if you’re evil.”

“Always.” You brushed his bandana back slightly. “And, for the record, you are kind of daddy.”

That did it.

He surged up suddenly and tackled you, pinning you to the mat. “Take it back!”

“Never!” you shrieked, laughing as his fingers found your sides, tickling mercilessly. “Leo—stop! You’re supposed to be the stoic one!”

“I was stoic—until you decided to weaponize that line!” he declared, now grinning like a kid.

You were laughing too hard to respond. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you tried to squirm free. Finally, he relented, still straddling your hips but letting you breathe.

“Peace?” he asked, brushing your hair from your face.

You nodded breathlessly. “Peace… daddy.”

He just groaned and dropped his forehead to your shoulder in defeat.

“You’re the worst,” he muttered.

And despite the teasing, the laughter, and the immortalized line, Leo felt like he’d won something better than any battle.

[downbad4sylus]

“I told you already…you are home.”

(part 1, part 2, and part 3)

synopsis: Sylus and Zayne team up to save you from Caleb’s clutches in the final part of the Sylus vs. Caleb series.

content: sylus x afab!reader; use of Y/N; established relationship; tension; angst, lots of angst; caleb acts like caleb but worse; zayne cameo; mention of kidnapping; i don’t want to give too much away in the content, so you’ll just have to read it to find out; mostly proofread

word count: ~6k

tags: @blorbohunter @cordidy @sarangsylus @freddy-2002-blog (those i was unable to tag here, i’ve tried to tag in the replies)

a/n: here it is everyone, the final part :’) thank you to everyone who’s stuck through the journey to get here, i’m sorry it took so long but i wanted to make sure i ended the series the way it deserved. enjoy <3

If he had to reveal his true identity to any of your friends, Sylus was glad it was Zayne. He was the least likely to hand him over to the Association, especially knowing that, as a part of said Association yourself, you hadn’t done so already.

It was a tense ride from the hospital to one of Sylus’s many safe houses throughout Linkon. They said nothing to each other until they reached their destination, and Zayne finally broke the silence after walking through the threshold into Sylus’s high-rise, luxury apartment.

“Do I want to know?” he asked.

Sylus glanced over his shoulder at the doctor. “Would knowing change your willingness to help me?”

“I’m not entirely sure why you brought me along in the first place,” Zayne countered.

Sylus led Zayne to a closed door at the end of a long hallway. He turned, facing him as he crossed his arm. “I brought you along because you care about Y/N as much as I do, and because you have a past with both of them that could be used to our advantage.

“I’ll ask again, Doctor, is knowing going to change anything? Once we walk through this door, there’s no going back.”

Sylus saw the weight of the decision Zayne wrestled with in his hazel gaze. His patience was running thin, rescuing you from the Colonel’s clutches taking up every thought in his mind. It killed him enough to be in this apartment rather than following the tracker attached to your wrist, but he needed a level-headed plan first. The Colonel was intelligent, calculated, he would be anticipating Sylus coming after you, so Sylus needed to be several steps ahead to ensure you made it safety back into his arms.

“No,” the doctor said at last. “It won’t change anything.”

“Good,” Sylus said, spinning on his heel and bursting through the door. “Let’s get to work.”

Following Sylus through the door, Zayne was transported into another world.

Harsh, artificial light illuminated an entire wall full of guns, various crates scattered across the floor in front of them. Across from the array of weapons were numerous computer screens with live CCTV footage from what seemed like every corner of Linkon. Others displayed sets of numbers that meant absolutely nothing to Zayne, or radar-looking gps trackers. Sat at the desk below the screens were two men in matching crow masks.

Their heads turned in unison upon hearing footsteps approaching them.

“Luke, Kieran, this is Doctor Zayne, Y/N’s primary care physician,” Sylus introduced as he stood behind their chairs, red eyes flicking from one screen to another. “Play nice.”

“Yes Boss!” they harmonized.

Zayne was rooted to the ground feet from the trio. “What exactly…is all this?”

Sylus remained silent, too focused on what was in front of him to respond.

“Ever heard of Onychinus?” one of the masked men asked.

Zayne’s stomach dropped.

The other man jerked his thumb back toward Sylus. “That’s our boss.”

Zayne’s eyes widened. You were…dating the leader of Onychinus… The leader of the very organization he’d warned you against becoming a target of all those months ago. The leader currently holding the highest bounty on his head at the Association you worked for. And yet rather than turn him in…you fell in love instead? Zayne couldn’t help but marvel at the strange twist of fate, at the star-crossed lovers who’d still found a way to be together despite living in completely different worlds.

In that moment, Zayne was sure he’d put his faith in the right man. If anyone was going to get you back, to ensure your safe return, it was the man who had no problem doing whatever it took to do so.

“Are we good, Doctor?” Sylus asked, drawing Zayne’s attention.

Zayne met the leader of Onychinus’s striking red eyes. “We’re good.”

Sylus’s lips twitched upward. “Then let’s get to work.”

—

“Caleb!”

Your fists pounded against the locked door.

“Caleb!”

You sounded desperate, calling out Caleb’s name, and you were. The man who was meant to be your childhood best friend had taken you by force, brought you to some undisclosed location, and locked you in this room all alone. There was no way to leave this unassuming bedroom—the door was dead-bolted from the outside, the few windows were barred—and even if you managed to escape, you had no idea where you were and how to get home.

Caleb had you well and truly trapped.

You’d barely spoken during the long drive to your prison, too overwhelmed with emotion to even beg him to let you go. Caleb made futile attempts at normal conversation but had given up rather quickly when he realized you weren’t going to respond.

Now here you were, scared and alone.

Your pounding gradually weakened until you stopped entirely, sliding down the door onto the floor, silent tears doing the same down your face.

You had no idea what Caleb was planning to do with you here. You hoped you knew him well enough to say he’d never hurt you but mere hours ago you would’ve sworn on your Gran’s grave that Caleb would never kidnap you. The fear of the unknown was as overwhelming as your fear for the man himself.

Your fingers twisted the bracelet around your wrist. You wanted Sylus. Was this morning the last time you’d ever see him? Was last night the last time you’d ever fall asleep in his arms? Your last kiss. Your last I love you.

A cry bubbled in your throat and tore free, your shoulders hunching as sobs racked your body.

What if Sylus couldn’t find you? What if, despite all that was available to him, it wasn’t enough? What if you were trapped here forever, forced to live on the hope that you’d one day find your way back to each other?

A soft knock on the door had you scrambling away to the bed in the center of the room, clutching a pillow to your chest as if to shield yourself.

“Pip-squeak? I’m coming in.”

Tears still streamed down your cheeks as Caleb unlocked and opened the door, carefully entering the space. His brow buckled slightly when his eyes fell on you, taking in your wild, defensive appearance.

When he took a small step toward you, every muscle in your body tensed, something he did not miss, so he halted.

Caleb held his hands up in surrender. “I’m not going to hurt you, pips.”

You scowled at him. “Oh you’re not? You don’t think you’ve done enough damage already?”

He flinched. “I’m sorry, Y/N, but I did what I had to in order to get you here. You wouldn’t have come willingly.”

“Of course I wouldn’t have!” you screamed. “You kidnapped me, Caleb!”

“That’s a harsh way of putting it pip-squeak.”

Fury erupted within you. “Harsh?! What the fuck would you call it then, Caleb? After you busted down Zanye’s door, forced him to his knees—our friend—before using your Evol on me in order to get me into your car? Then you drive me to the middle of nowhere and lock me in this fucking room? What the fuck is this other than a kidnapping?”

Caleb squeezed his eyes shut, warring with his own raging emotions. He didn’t want to lose his temper with you, but why was it so hard for you to see what he was doing for you? Why did you have to fight him on every single thing?

He took a steadying breath, knowing he needed to maintain control. “If you could just hear me out…”

“Hear you out? Why? Why would I do that?”

Why did you have to keep yelling at him?

Caleb advanced a few steps and you reacted instantly, snatching the alarm clock from the nightstand and holding it in the air, an unspoken threat. Not that you’d ever hit him, his Evol would ensure that, but it was the fact that you’d even try that sent a pang through his heart.

“Don’t you understand?” he pleaded. “I’m just doing this to keep you safe.”

“I’ve never been less safe than I am in this room with you,” you hissed.

And that did it.

Caleb snapped.

Fear skittered along your bones as Caleb transformed into the fierce, unyielding Colonel.

“You’ve never been less safe?” he questioned, his voice low, tone foreign. “Do you have any idea what I’ve done for you, Y/N? Everything I’ve ever done, my entire life, has been for you. To keep you happy, to keep you safe.

“I think about the past year, all the things I’ve done, staying away to ensure that when I came back for you, you’d be safe from the danger I worked so hard to eradicate for you. And what do you do, Y/N? You fell in love with the leader of Onychinus.”

“What did you expect me to do, Caleb?” you snapped. “I thought you were dead. Did you expect me to mourn you for the rest of my life? To never make another connection to what? Honor your memory? Alive or dead, you don’t fucking control me, Caleb. I’m free to fall in love with whomever I want, leader of Onychinus included.”

Caleb stalked toward you. “You just don’t get it do you? You’re mine. You belong to me. You always have, since we were kids. I’m the only one who knows how to take care of you. I’m the only one who can keep you safe.” He ran a hand through his hair, his face softening as he reached the bed where you’d coward against the headboard. “You’ll come around. We have all the time in the world here, and I’ll prove to you that I’m all you need. I’m all you’ll ever need.”

Your body trembled so hard the headboard rattled against the wall. “Caleb, I want to go home.”

Caleb smiled and your stomach sank.

“You are home.”

—

You decided to go on a hunger strike.

All day Caleb slaved in the kitchen, cooking your favorite dishes, only for you to refuse to eat altogether once he set the feast in front of you.

“Come on, pips,” Caleb urged, sounding more like your friend now than the Colonel. “You have to eat something. I made all your favorites.”

“I’m not hungry,” you grumbled.

“Okay, but you still need to eat.” Caleb grabbed your empty plate and piled it with a little of everything. “Just a bite.”

You looked at the food laid out before you, then at Caleb. His eyes were wide, pleading. In his own twisted way, he was trying his best for you.

Maybe if he hadn’t taken you, you would’ve given in.

But he had, so you didn’t.

Instead, with eyes trained on his, you slid your hand under the plate and flipped it off the table.

Gravity caught the plate—food and all—midair and Caleb never broke eye contact. Not as the mess was brought back to the table, placed neatly in front of you, as if nothing had happened at all.

Caleb’s gaze hardened. “Just a bite,” he repeated.

You knocked the plate off the table again, and this time it clattered to the ground.

You snapped to your feet with such force the chair almost toppled over. “I said I’m not hungry.”

Caleb ran a hand through his hair. “Fine,” he sighed. “I’m not going to force you.”

You scoffed but didn’t deign him with a response. You stormed out of the kitchen and into the bedroom Caleb had locked you in earlier, slamming the door shut.

Caleb remained seated, staring at the mess on the floor he’d have to clean up. He didn’t care about that though, nor the wasted food he’d spent hours making. He cared about the way you’d looked at him, like he was a stranger. Like you wanted nothing to do with him.

He knew he had a long road ahead of him, but he was prepared to fight for you. He wouldn’t be giving you up anytime soon.

—

He should feel bad, watching you like this, but he couldn’t muster any guilt.

Caleb had cameras everywhere, both inside the house and out—well almost everywhere. There were no cameras in the en-suite bathroom attached to your bedroom, that was one line he refused to cross. And if you walked into the bedroom clad only in a towel, he would turn away and wait, giving you privacy to change in peace.

It was imperative that he know what you were up to when he inevitably returned to the Fleet, the feeds available on an app on his phone. He also needed to keep an eye on the maze, to make sure a certain crime lord wasn’t attempting a rescue mission. Caleb knew it was a very real possibility, and he was as prepared for it as he could be, going as far as to have a secret underground entrance at the back of the house for him to come and go unseen.

But right now, Caleb needed to gauge how well you were handling this new arrangement.

Not well at all, actually.

You were curled on the bed, sobbing.

The sight had Caleb clenching his fists, using every bit of self-control to not storm into your room and gather you in his arms. But doing that would only upset you further, and if Caleb had any hope of you coming around, he needed to keep his distance.

So he just sat and watched with a sorrow-filled heart, reminding himself just a little longer.

—

Sylus hadn’t slept for more than an hour or so for days.

He’d returned to the N109 Zone with Zayne, Luke, and Kieran, where they’d been working nonstop coming up with a plan to rescue you.

The tracker within the bracelet Sylus had given you went dark before you’d reached your final destination. However, Sylus only purchased the most sophisticated of technology, and the tracker passed through several jammers before entering what was likely a dead-zone. It wasn’t ideal, but it narrowed down the area in which they’d have to search. Because the Colonel had taken painstaking measures to ensure you were not found, it took several scouts—both living and mechanical—to finally locate where he had taken you.

A compound, was the best way to describe where you were locked away. An intricate hedge maze lay before the structure itself, and Sylus had no doubts it was riddled with traps. The structure looked like a house, innocuous, unassuming, but again, Sylus knew better than to make such a naive assumption.

He expected nothing less from the Colonel but that didn’t mean Sylus wasn’t going out of his mind. With rage at the Colonel for taking things this far. With worry for you, and what you were going through. With impatience for how long this was taking.

Having Zayne around was a cooling balm to his ever tumultuous emotions. A voice of reason when Sylus was on the precipice of destroying another piece of furniture. He’d readily accepted the whirlwind of being whisked away to the N109 Zone. He’d actively participated in the organizing and planning of the scouting missions as well as the rescue mission. All the while remaining calm, clinical even. Sylus would be forever grateful having the doctor by his side.

Now, with all the information they could possibly gather, as ready as they’d ever be, Sylus, Zayne, Luke, and Kieran left the N109 Zone and set out to rescue you from the Colonel’s clutches.

—

A week.

Seven days.

One hundred sixty-eight hours.

Ten thousand eighty minutes.

Six hundred four thousand eight hundred seconds.

Sometimes, a week felt like years, other times it would be over in the blink of an eye.

This last week had felt like an eternity. A never ending stretch of time.

You only knew it had been a week because of the scratches you’d etched into the headboard in the bedroom. Seven marks, one for each day.

For the first few days, Caleb stayed at the house with you. In spite of his persistent coaxing, you rarely left the bedroom, so he would adapt as he always did. Equipped with snacks and various drinks, Caleb would hole himself up in the room with you, putting on a movie and sitting in the armchair near the window at first, then slowly moving closer to you as your defenses lowered until he was on the bed. He still kept his distance, of course, but the fact that you’d allow him on the bed at all was progress in his mind.

Unbeknownst to him, however, you had ulterior motives in letting Caleb get so close to you. You’d become desperate rather quickly, not to escape but to kill the part of you that still cared about Caleb. That warred with your rational mind, trying to convince you that, while severely misguided, Caleb really was doing what he thought was best for you. You were tired of this devil on your shoulder. You often wished he would actually hurt you—on purpose—just so you could extinguish that stubborn devil’s flame. At least then you’d have a definitive, unquestionable reason to do so.

In the following days, though, Caleb left you alone until the evening as he needed to return to the Fleet.

You learned within the first hour of being by yourself that there was no chance of escape. All the windows were locked and barred, with no tool or object available to pry them apart or break them. Just like the windows, any exit was locked so tight the door wouldn’t even budge when you rattled the doorknobs.

All you could do was sit and wait for Caleb to return with your thoughts as your lone companion.

Despite the abysmal path laid ahead of you, you were hopeful that Sylus would soon come to your rescue. You didn’t know how he would do it, but if anyone could, it was Sylus. And when he did, when you were safe in his arms, you would finally listen to him—like you should’ve from the onset—and cut Caleb off for good. You had to hold on to this hope, you needed to see him again if only to apologize and admit he’d been right all along. Why hadn’t you just listened to him?

You often played with the bracelet around your wrist—the one you promised never to take off. It made you feel connected to Sylus, helped keep your hope alive. You’d also caught Caleb watching you fiddle with it and you hadn’t missed the displeasure on his face whenever you did, so, as another form of protest, you made sure to always be touching it. You wanted Caleb to know how much you thought of Sylus, how taking you from him had done nothing to diminish the strength of your love.

The sun was setting outside the barred windows, casting an orange glow throughout the house. On a normal day, Sylus would just be waking up, unless you’d gotten him to ruin his sleep schedule for the umpteenth time. You wondered what he was doing, and if he’d been sleeping at all since you were taken.

Caleb was due back anytime now. Dread sank like a stone in your stomach at the thought.

You retreated into the bedroom, burrowing under the covers. You weren’t in any mood to see Caleb’s face. He would come find you, of course, then invade your space, but at least you wouldn’t have to look at him.

The front door slammed open, making you flinch. Caleb’s footsteps were swift as he strode to your bedroom—

Then walked right by it.

Caleb always went straight to you when he got back, still clad in his uniform. He would greet you, ask you if you need anything, before excusing himself to change.

Another door opened further down the hall.

You were out of the bed and in the hallway in seconds. The door at the end—the one that Caleb sometimes slipped into after leaving you for the night but remained locked when he wasn’t around—was now slightly ajar. You hurried over, staying light on your feet as to not alert Caleb of your presence, and poked your head into the room.

Caleb stood with his back facing you, but you weren’t focused on him, no, you were zeroed in on the wall of screens before him displaying security footage from nearly every inch of the house, both inside and out.

Had he been watching you this whole time? Keeping tabs on you while he was gone and even when he was here?

Movement from one of the outside cameras caught your eye before your thoughts could spiral further.

The air whooshed from your lungs and your knees threatened to buckle.

You’d recognize that snowy hair anywhere.

Sylus.

Sylus had come for you.

Caleb whirled around, his eyes widening in surprise finding you standing in the doorway.

Your gaze snapped to his, determination blazing bright and fierce. “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be, Caleb.”

His face twisted into a scowl.

He cocked the gun you hadn’t noticed, slipped it into a holster on his hip, and surged forward, throwing you over his shoulder before you so much as blinked.

“Caleb!” you screamed, fists pounding on his back and legs kicking against his abdomen. “Put me down!”

He made what sounded like a growl, his Evol locking your limbs in place to stop your struggle.

“Caleb please! Please, I just want to go home!”

Caleb barreled into your bedroom, hitting the door so hard it smacked against the wall. He unceremoniously dumped your body onto the bed, his Evol still keeping you immobile.

He grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him, fury and possession darkening his purple gaze. “I told you already,” he snarled, “you are home.”

He stormed out, locking the door behind him but you weren’t able to move until you heard the echo of the front door slamming shut.

Your body slumped and you couldn’t bring yourself to straighten, too defeated, too hopeless. Sylus was here, he was so close you swore you felt his presence, but you couldn’t go to him. You couldn’t run into the safety of his arms, or hear him tell you everything would be all right. You were trapped in this bedroom while there would no doubt be a battle to the death just outside this prison disguised as a home. And you didn’t know if Sylus would be the one making it out alive.

Tears streamed down your cheeks. How did you get here? Ever since returning from Skyhaven, your life had taken a turn for the worse. You were happy, you were loved. You never thought reuniting with the one person who had meant the world to you would end like this.

You barked a humorless laugh into the empty room.

“To think,” you said aloud, sounding crazed, “had the explosion not happened, I might never have met Sylus.” You laughed again. “Maybe this was doomed from the start.”

A sudden tapping against the barred window had you snapping to your feet and whirling around.

Hope dared to bloom in your chest.

On the other side of the window stood, of all people, your primary care physician.

You rushed forward, wrapping your hands around the bars. “Zayne?!”

He waved his hand, indicating he wanted you to back away.

You listened, going to the bed where you watched as Zayne coated the windowpane with ice, the glass groaning as it froze over. With a blast of his Evol, the glass shattered.

“Zayne, what’s going on?” you demanded, taking a step toward the window.

“Please give me a moment to get rid of these bars,” Zayne answered, holding up his hand to halt you. “I’ll answer your questions once I get you out.”

You stayed where you were as Zayne repeated the same process with the bars, coating them in ice and blasting them to pieces with his Evol once they were frozen.

He reached his hand through the open threshold. “Let’s get you out of here.”

He helped you through the window, making sure you didn’t get cut by any remaining broken glass. When your feet hit the ground, when you were outside, you could finally breathe again.

You started toward the front of the house, determined to find Sylus regardless of whatever brawl was happening between him and Caleb.

But Zayne caught your wrist before you made it too far.

“We’re going a different way,” he said. “The twins are waiting to bring you back to the base.”

You blinked at him, taken aback. You’d have to dissect hearing such a statement from Zayne later.

“I can’t just leave him here, Zayne,” you protested. “I won’t leave him.”

“And I won’t let you walk right into danger,” Zayne said.

You were so tired of being told what to do.

You fixed the doctor with the same determined gaze you had given Caleb when you first saw Sylus on the security footage. “Take me to him, Zayne, I’m not asking.”

—

Caleb shouldn’t have been surprised Sylus was able to destroy the maze, not even a trace of the damn thing was left. It was only ever meant to be a distraction and Caleb knew it wouldn’t stop the Onychinus leader, but he at least hoped it’d slow him down.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t come after her?” Sylus questioned, raising a brow.

Caleb grinned something sadistic. “On the contrary, I was counting on it.”

Sylus frowned. “Very well Colonel, let’s finish this.”

Caleb, still with a smile, reached for the gun at his hip. However, Sylus favored melee, and was on the Colonel in the blink of an eye, throwing a flurry of Evol-laced punches. Caleb was forced to holster his weapon and meet the onslaught with blows of his own.

Gravity and energy were an interesting match-up. Though both Evols were immensely powerful, when pitted against one another, it was if they cancelled each other out.

Where gravity tried to bend and crush, energy consumed and nullified.

Where energy tried to rip and tear, gravity curled and formed a shield.

Black and red sparked, gravity swirled, creating a concentrated vortex of devastation around the two men.

If Caleb could just put some space between them, if he could just get to his gun, then this fight would turn in his favor.

But Sylus wouldn’t give him the chance. Every time Caleb managed to get a little distance, Sylus immediately closed it. Caleb grew frustrated, his control slipping.

Finally, finally, he hit Sylus was a strong enough blast of gravity to send the leader careening backward.

“Sylus!”

The sound of your voice had both men’s heads snapping to the side.

Zayne was there too, trailing after you, a look of apology on his face as he met Sylus’s displeased gaze. Sylus should’ve known you wouldn’t listen to the doctor and follow him to safety. Truly, he expected nothing less of you, but that didn’t mean he wanted you here, in the middle of danger.

You ran toward him to fight by his side. To face Caleb and put an end to this once and for all.

Caleb took full advantage of Sylus’s momentary distraction and once again drew the gun at his hip.

Then everything happened so fast. Too fast.

You were closer to the Onychinus leader than Caleb realized and when he pulled the trigger, it was you the gun was aimed at, not Sylus.

Sylus’s Evol wrapped around the bullet, intent on disintegrating it midair, well before it ever pierced your flesh.

Except this was no ordinary bullet. It was Evol-resistant, meaning Sylus’s black-red mist was useless to stop the bullet from sinking right into your chest.

How many times did he have to tell you not to throw yourself in front of him? He was your shield, not the other way around.

Sylus felt the bullet as though it’d pierced his own flesh.

Before you even swayed, Sylus erupted.

No one truly knew the power Sylus was capable of, not until this moment. His Evol was a force of pure destruction, wrapping protectively around you (and the doctor, as Sylus maintained the wherewithal to do so) only to wreak havoc beyond. He always said he’d burn the world for you if he had to, and he was finally making good on that promise.

As fast as the eruption started, it ended, silence settling thick in the air. A mile-wide black-red scorch mark covered the earth, leaving nothing but ashes in its wake.

It was impossible to tell whether the Colonel was amongst the devastation or had managed a miraculous escape, but Sylus couldn’t care less as he rushed toward where he’d carefully lowered you to the ground.

He gathered you in his arms, pressing hard on the gun wound to help slow the bleeding.

“Sweetie, please,” he begged, the desperation in his voice foreign to him. “Please, stay with me.”

Zayne fell to knees, already assessing your condition with clinical precision.

“I need you to get the bullet out,” Sylus demanded. Before Zayne could respond, Sylus had his phone out and to his ear. “Get over here, now.”

The loud squeal of tires echoed as the twins gunned it down the convenient 1.2 mile stretch of barren land to where you lay unconscious in Sylus’s arms.

They were there in less than a minute, screeching to a halt. With a prepared medkit in hand, they were out of the car and passing it to Zayne within seconds.

“Get the bullet out,” Sylus snarled. “Once it’s out I can heal her.” Far quieter he said, “Please.”

Zayne wasted no time, slipping on gloves with practiced ease before grabbing the tweezers to dislodge the bullet. You got lucky, so unbelievably lucky that the bullet didn’t pierce your heart, Zayne estimated it missed by about an inch. It didn’t mean you were in the clear, but if Sylus could heal you like he said, then you just might have a chance at surviving this.

Years of working under pressure kept Zayne’s hands steady despite the terror coursing through him. He didn’t want to lose you either, couldn’t even bring himself to picture a world without you in it.

The tweezers closed around the bullet and Zayne slowly pulled it free, letting out the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Sylus’s Evol wrapped around you once more, his power flowing through your wound, healing you before he lost you in this lifetime.

“Don’t leave me, Y/N,” Sylus whispered. “Don’t you dare leave me.”

—

You were positive you were dead.

The last thing you remembered, after getting shot, was being consumed by hellfire.

To be honest, while you were a little sad, you had no regrets as long as Sylus made it out alive. Perhaps you could plead with whatever god watched over the afterlife to tell you if he’d made it. Surely said god would take pity on you since you sacrificed yourself for your lover.

The afterlife was quite comfortable though, and it made you doubt whether it was hellfire you saw during your last seconds or something else entirely. You were surrounded by silk, cushioned by softness, reminding you of Sylus’s bed. Maybe you got lucky, maybe you were in heaven because laying in Sylus’s bed certainly felt like heaven to you.

The afterlife also had music, classical music to be specific. It played in the background, a gentle lull tempting you to fall back into oblivion but you were curious to explore this new world.

Your eyes fluttered open.

Heaven was more than just Sylus’s bed, it looked exactly like his room. Tears pricked in your eyes at the thought of existing here without him. Heaven or not, you wouldn’t be truly happy if he wasn’t by your side.

Swallowing your tears, you slowly sat up, surprised to find you were sore despite having passed on. Your chest ached where you’d been shot and breathing was a bit difficult because of it.

“Sweetie you really shouldn’t be moving so much.”

Your head snapped up at the sound of his voice so fast you almost blacked out.

“Sylus?!” you cried.

There he was, in all his beautiful glory, brow creased with worry as he crossed the room over to the bed. He sank down beside you, and you felt him there, as real as he’d ever been.

You tentatively reached out a hand, your fingertips grazing the edge of his sleeve. “I— I thought I was dead,” you whispered.

Sylus’s lips curled into a soft smile. “Your doctor and I worked very hard not to let that happen, sweetie.”

“Zayne’s still here?” you questioned.

He shook his head. “Not at the moment, but he was.” With all the gentleness in the world, Sylus took your hand in his, thumb brushing over your knuckles. “You’ve been asleep for three days.”

You blinked in disbelief. For you, it had felt like no time had passed at all. “Am I…okay?”

Sylus huffed a chuckle. “Yes, you’re okay. Zayne will come by now that you’re awake to give us a treatment plan.”

You groaned, flopping down onto the bed, much to the aggravation of your healing wound. “He’s always so strict.”

“He’s your doctor, of course he is.”

You glanced at Sylus, meeting those red eyes you loved so much. “What happened to Caleb?”

Sylus’s expression shifted slightly, as though this was the last thing he wanted to talk about right now. “Gone, as far as I can tell. There’s no trace of him.”

You waited for the wave of sadness to hit you, but all you felt was the smallest pang of regret. Not regret over what happened, but that maybe there was something you could’ve done differently to prevent the outcome.

“I’m sorry,” you said, squeezing Sylus’s hand. “You were right, the whole time, and I should’ve listened to you. I’m sorry, Sy.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he said. “I’m sorry it didn’t end the way you wanted it to.”

“All that matters to me is that I have you,” you insisted. “I love you, Sylus.”

He smiled again, looking at you like you held his entire world in your hands. “I love you too, Y/N.”

You averted your gaze, cheeks tinging pink. “This might be sudden, but after everything, I, um— Would you, um— Would you maybe want to move in together? You know, once we complete my doctor’s borderline authoritarian treatment plan.”

His eyes widened slightly. Then he laughed something genuine, the sound music to your ears. “You never fail to surprise me, sweetie.”

“Is that a yes?”

He brought your hand to his lips. “That is a resounding yes.”

For the first time since coming back from Skyhaven, everything felt right again. You might not have died, but being with Sylus was the only heaven you’d ever need.

—

The black hole was quiet, comforting.

It felt vaguely familiar, like he’d experienced something similar once before, or maybe he hadn’t yet? Time was hard to distinguish here.

There was peace though, around him, inside his heart. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like this.

Yeah, the black hole wasn’t so bad.

He’d be okay here.

Bonus:

“I don’t know why you insist on packing everything, I told you I’d just replace it at the base.”

You huffed, placing your hands on your hips as you straightened from the box you’d been carefully packing. “My things cannot be replaced, Sylus, they are special to me.”

Sylus cocked a brow and held up a clearly neglected pen he’d found under your bed. “This is special to you?”

You gaped at him. “Ugh, you are so insufferable!”

Sylus laughed. “Better get used to it, sweetie, because you’re about be stuck with my insufferability.”

You stormed up to where he sat on the floor beside your bed, bending over so you were at eye level. You then placed a chaste kiss right on the tip of his nose. “Good, because I don’t want to live without it.”

Sylus smiled and cupped the back of your neck, bringing your lips to his for an impassioned kiss. “And I don’t want to live without you, my beloved.”

[ichorai]

chiropterology — silver kitties.

drabble synopsis ; all in the name of science. warnings ; slightly sexually suggestive, batmom has questionable morals when it comes to her experiments LMAO

series masterlist.

Aside from the diamond ring on your finger, you tended not to wear jewelry very often—dangly bits of metal were probably never a good idea to have on in your lab. It’s part of the reason why you frequently warned the kids to leave their weapons outside. 

However, since Bruce was now (hesitantly) allowing you to accompany him to next week’s charity gala after a rather compelling presentation you put together, you figured you would go shopping for something fancy and bejeweled to put around your neck for the event. That’s it—no ulterior motives. None at all. 

Save for your latest little gizmo you were planning to install into the necklace—once someone made direct eye contact with the pendant, a pulse signal would be sent back to your lab computer and you would later be able to replicate a frame of their thoughts into a printed image. It was a pretty cool concept that you thought up once Dick had dramatically sighed, “Eyes are the window to the soul!” to Jason, who had promptly told him to shut up. 

And Bruce would never know! You just had to make sure he didn’t stare too intently at your décolletage. Besides… it’s not like it would harm anyone—just maybe, sort of, kind of a slight breach of privacy, but it was something you were solemnly willing to sacrifice in the name of science. It was, however, untested, so the possibility of it completely frying someone’s synapses admittedly was not beyond the realm of possibility. Best not to think about it.

The problem was now picking out a necklace that had a pendant large enough to fit your device whilst simultaneously being fashionable enough for a gala. Damn. You should’ve brought Steph along to help pick something for you. Though, knowing her, she’d likely just pick the most purple gemstone they had and tell you to go with that one.

You browsed through the glass displays, wondering why there weren’t any workers behind the counters hovering over you, eager to make a sale. Maybe they were all on lunch break and you’d just have to come back in an hour or so…

Before you could turn around, and walk out, the bell above the door jingled with a newcomer’s arrival.

“Mrs. Wayne,” purred a voice, silky and ever so familiar. You felt a smile grace the corner of your mouth as you turned to face her.

“Kitty,” you replied with a coltish tone. It didn’t take you long to realize that she was likely the reason behind the strange lack of employees in a jewelry store. “Nice to see you back in your natural habitat.” 

Catwoman flexed her spindly hands, covered with clawed leather gloves. “Typically I would pull out my gun to scare off any customers during a robbery. But I won’t have to worry about you screaming, will I?” She circled you twice, like a shark would its kill, before sauntering behind the counters. She began to pick the tiny locks of the glass display cases. 

“Depends on the situation,” you replied, watching her work with a curious smile. She was just as pretty as the last time you saw her. 

She glanced over her shoulder to shoot you a flirtatious look. “You’re a married woman, you know. Shouldn’t be talking to me that way, given our… history.”

“Oh, please. Bruce and I were broken up back then. Just because you came to me for help and we ended up sleeping together once a long time ago does not make it history.” Your hands lifted to put air quotes around the last word. “And besides, it’s not like Bruce hasn’t had his fun with you, either.”

Selina hummed. It had only been a handful of seconds, but she already managed to get the lock loose, carefully shifting the glass panel beneath her palms until it gave way. Her movements were precise and calculated—it was clear she’d done this many times before. She began to pick the silver threads off the displays like fruits from a tree. “I dunno, baby. It was quite a night we had. But don’t worry… I’m not looking to get in between the most famous couple in Gotham. I am curious, though… did you tell Bruce about all the ways I made you—”

“Okay!” you squeaked, cheeks aflush with heat. Selina always managed to get you flustered beyond relief. “Where have you been?” you asked after a brief pause, deciding to steer the topic of conversation elsewhere. “Ever since the Riddler flooded the city, I’ve hardly seen you.”

Selina lifted a clawed finger to rest upon her lips. “I’m a bit preoccupied robbing this store for idle chit-chat. Here, hold this.”

She pushed an armful of chains and gems into your hands over the counter. With a sigh, you did as she said and began to rifle through the jewelry

“Paws off,” Selina snapped, returning to you with a bag she found somewhere in the back inventory to stuff all the remaining necklaces. They made a light, clinking sound as they tumbled into each other within the bag. “Those are mine.”

“Come on, Kitty,” you told her. “One necklace, and I won’t tell Bruce you were robbing this store.”

“Try again,” she said, unimpressed. “Bruce isn’t nearly as fast as me.”

You narrowed your eyes at her. “Okay. I’ll tell Orphan and Red Robin you were robbing this store.”

This made her pause in thought. “Fair play. Your children are terrifying little creatures.” She pointed to the bounty you were clutching. “One. Just one.” 

“Greedy, greedy,” you muttered under your breath with a little grin. Though, when she trailed a suggestive hand over your shoulder while passing by you to get to the front of the store and collect whatever was left there, you quickly said, “I mean—yes, ma’am.”

Finally, after many minutes of indecisive staring at thirty different pendants, you eenie-meenie-minie-moed between the glittering options and snagged whichever one your finger landed on. You could work with what you got when you returned to your lab.

When she made her way back to you, she scrutinized the one you set aside for yourself with keen eyes. It was an elegant silver chain with a crescent-shaped pendant that shone a pearlescent hue. “Good choice. The bigger, the better, right?” 

“It’s for this experiment I’m—” You abruptly halted your words with a wince, shooting her a lame smile. Better not to give Selina any blackmailing leverage over you. The kids already had enough of that for you to worry about. “I mean—it’s for one of my daughters.”

“Right,” she said, clearly not believing you, but not bothering to press any further. She was quite familiar with your many inventions and doohickeys, and was, frankly, not interested in listening to you ramble about physics for the next ten minutes. She swept the rest of the jewelry away from you and into the tinkering bag. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

With that, she tipped one of the perked ears on her mask like one would with a hat, leaned forward to kiss you on the cheek, and dashed away, completely silent despite all the leather she was wearing, leaving behind only a trace of her patchouli perfume. You blinked at the spot she was just standing in owlishly. Then, you glanced upward to look for security cameras. Two in the front of the store, and three behind the counters—all with cut wires. Of course, Selina wouldn’t let anything jeopardize her piracy. 

You shook your head with a downturned smile, and pulled out your wallet to write out an anonymous check. After a quick calculation off the top of your head, you surmised that a clean two million dollars would be more than enough to reimburse all the empty display cases. You just hoped that the employees who were meant to be on shift wouldn’t get fired over this.

By the time you returned to the manor, still rather dazed from the interaction, the sun was just beginning to set. You slunk down into the batcave, making a bee-line for your lab. Bruce, who was just about to leave for an evening patrol, paused mid-conversation with Damian to look at you hurrying off. Initially, he thought that you had blood on your face, feeling his heart jump at the thought of you hurt. Upon further scrutiny, he saw that it was not blood but… a lipstick mark on your cheek? Who would—

Of course. Selina. Who else would be bold enough to do such a thing? His eyes squinted into suspicious slits. He might’ve let her slide with stealing a few necklaces here and there, but he drew the line at stealing kisses from his wife!

“Change of plans, Robin,” he said, voice suddenly an octave deeper, instantly switching into Batman mode. “There’s a dangerous thief roaming the streets of Gotham. She often targets jewelry stores and empty mansions. Your mother has already fallen victim. The aim of this patrol is to find her and put a stop to it.”

Damian’s brows drew together, insulted on your behalf. Without feeling the need to ask further questions, he immediately said, “Understood, Father. Mother shall be avenged.”

[jealousmartini]

STUFF I CANT WAIT FOR IN MY MHA DR .𖥔˚🎀

   ── .✦  ┆  𖤐  ┆  ␥ 

⤷ a bit of FYI

Because I am shifting to my dr during the end of the 2nd school year, I will have already found vigilante Deku with the rest of class 1A, won the war arc against my own personal nemesis, and had my awesome quirk awakening. It's also 5 days before Bakugo's birthday in my dr AND it's the weekend (Friday) so I dont have to worry about patrolling or homework when i literally just got there! So it's free time!

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

... Super stoked for!

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪| Seeing my entire appearance!

Not even gonna lie to yall.. I am SO stupidly fine in all of my mha drs actually. But specifically talking about my main mha dr, I literally am so gorgeous. My body is so undoubtedly bomb, my face card is fire, my hair so tea.. no wonder so many people are down bad for me. I know for sure the first thing I'll do when I shift is stare at my reflection, tracing my curves and all.

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪| Wearing my hero costume, using my quirks and my gadgets

My hero costume is so iconic. It's like a mecha space suit centered around a cunty corset with big ass chunky boots like uraraka, a pair of bug eye looking goggles and a mecha headset with antenna. The space theme is fitting for my for my quirk, and my Twilight sparkle ahh hair.

My magnetism quirk is so much fun dude. I can make anything attract, retract or rotate to or from me, and manipulate it to mimic telekinesis. Uraraka wannabe yeah yeah I know but it's unique enough for it to be it's own thing. Using it creatively is gonna be a blast too!

In my dr, I am a pro at creating gadgets, weapons, and upgrading preexisting gear. I work in both the hero and the support course so my class mates get the best of both worlds cus they've got a mini Tony stark in their class. I even got the spare keys to the utility support room.

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪| Hanging out in my dorm room, the dormitory and my best friends rooms

I made slight tweaks to the design of the dormitory, the rooms are a bit bigger and it isn't just green and yellow ew. Also the class rooms in the UA building have big ass windows to the left, the tables can fit 2-3 students and the rooms aren't a cold blue hue anymore.

My room is perfectly customised to my personality, my likes, my needs and all that stuff. I've got my entire pinterest closet in my wardrobe, my makeup, my trinkets and my gadgets on my tables and shelves. The walls are decorated in anime, game and movie posters, drawings and sketches of my gadget plans and polaroid pictures of my family, friends and classmates. My room has a colour pallet of pinks, burgundys and cream with dimly lit off white and orange accent lights. It's very homly, very comforting.

I also have a mini fridge, a ceiling fan and a two screen computer in my room. Each floor has bathrooms and shower rooms of their own. I'm on the same level as Momo, Ochaco, Kirishima and Katsuki. My most visited rooms are Uraraka's, Mina's Katsuki's, Deku's and Kirishima's. I like to welcome myself and relax on their beds. Sometimes I bicker, most times I gossip with them and actually more than most times, they visit me more than I do them. I can't wait to casually hang out with them, go out to eat, go on trips with them, especially since I'm part of "Baku squad"

And btw he dormitory has robot maids and floor cleaners that do most of the cleaning around the building, including the washing in the kitchen.

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪| The FOOOOOOD

See we've got some bomb ass cooks in our class already, me being one of them ironically enough. But we are actually allowed to order takeaway to the dorms. The house rules are that you shouldn't order food past curfew but most of the time, Aizawa doesn't notice so I do it anyway.

There is also a shopping center close to campus and some convenience stores with my fave foods and stuff I've always wanted to try like tteokbokki, pho, seafood boil, ramen stew all that good stuff🫠🫠

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪| Seeing my crushes: Katsuki, Uraraka, Sero and Kirishima

Lord. I can't even say too much because I love these idiots so much UGHHHHH. I've got casual crushes of Uraraka, Sero and Kirishima but good GOD I am down bad for Katsuki.

I've scripted that me and Spikes end up together in the middle of the 3rd year but it's initiated by... ME. Yeah that's right bitch I scripted I grew a pair of balls and asked him out😝. I know it's pretty basic for an mha shifter to have cactsuki as their s/o but yall don't get him the way I do and I seriously don't care. I stood on business and pulled that bitch like my quirk was on. Period

I will admit tho Katsuki intimidates so bad but like in a good way. I love an intimidating, scary but funny, brash, stern babe. Like come here and kiss me but also don't cus ill run away.

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪| THE FAN EDITS, FICTION, GIFTS AND ART

Yall already know as shifters how exciting fan stuff are. Not a day goes by when Im not daydraming about the edits especially. I can't wait to see what my fans are up to, react to their edits, fanfiction, gifts and art on live stream. I scripted my fans are super creative and most of them ship me with people I actually like🤭🤭

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪| Going patrolling with my bbygirls

I'm so excited to use my quirk in action especially when I've already had my quirk awakening. I scripted I can formulate and act out plans perfectly and quickly. I also scripted most patrols are fun, relaxing, exciting or interesting. I'm always learning something new, meeting new people, going new places and growing bonds with my team mates.

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪| Streaming and being featured on popular streams

One of my hobbies is streaming/vlogging/blogging. I have been recording my experiences as a student in UA and a hero since the beginning and I've got a big following that catch up with me every now and then. I use two different cameras; a high quality one and an early 2000s digital hand cam to make it look like I'm in 2006. I do a lot of eat with mes, I gossip, I do study with mes I draw and anime a lot and I also do gaming as well because I am the biggest game geek.

I'm also pretty siked to appear on popular Streamer lives like kai cenat and Speed. The interviewers are going to be so entertaining since I'm just a British girl talking about my experiences as a British student in Japan and the amount of culture shocks ive gotten.

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪| Seeing me in Horikoshi's art

Fun thing I scripted. Horikoshi made a manga of class 1A which is literally MHA but I'm in it this time. Idk how this is going to work but I thought this would be sick.

Speaking of art I am an artist in my dr too. I've got stacks apon stacks of notebooks filled with me and my friends, even my hw has little doodles in the corner. I'm very excited to draw my friends, myself, my favourite medias in my many art styles onto tiktok and tumblr and they actually get views😩.

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪| Exploring Japan

And lastly exploring Japan has been one of my biggest dreams since forever. To explore the country with my favourite friends or just by myself in the day or night is a dream come true. The peaceful nature of it all motivates me to go walking every now and then. It is such a beautiful place.

[chickennugget755]

theory time (basically things I noticed from ava 11)

spoilers btw

Victim is not coping well

After Mitsi died, Victim completely disappeared from the company, and the stock prices drop on Rocket corp. As shown by the article: Where did he go? Rocket Co. Founder Remains elusive as share prices plummet. He says that the article told lies also.

Victim is already thinking of ways to counter Chosen, he puts ice as an option( also if anyone knows whats written here plz tell em, i thought it said flight but im not sure)

As Victim becomes more and more obsessed with revenge, tons of the workers quit, with Vic calling them cowards. Also it seems as if they calling the event The Decimation (which is basically another word for gen0cide)

Here he puts ideas and designs for weapons to take down chosen.

And now for the interesting part:

It seems to me that the people of stick city don't realize that cursors are real, that they were created from mouses on computers. Victim of course knows this and tries to figure out how to track Alan's location.I'll break it down in a second

"What lays beyond our world?" Flat-earthers rejoice. The world of sticks is indeed flat.

Idk what is on here, maybe Victim is questioning how humans are born and what their life cycle is?

Here Victim is looking at the menu for right-clicking. The circled one is "Convert to Symbol" I think??? and someone plz tell me what the question mark one is ( Might be "Free Transform" based on AVA 2)

Here he is looking at the naming, pretty standard.

Lots of things to look at here, firstly it seems like they know thst if you keep flying up you will reach a tile ( I dont think they know it represents a computer) " How do Sky Tiles affect our understanding of weather?" They also mention "Green Life Particles" which is the thing that appears when a stick figure is born or teleported??

It might seem as if they are referencing animators here? The person at the desk. And based of off green's QNA and on the short "Feel Better", stick figures can see through the screen, but its not very clear.

Here again, questioning their origin

These pictures show in the montage and on the wall, they are all questioning whats in the sky. Got some real Alexanders here.

Thats all I can really provide on, I really enjoyed this episode!

[yourcutelittlegayfriend]

LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING! LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING!!

*grabs your shirt and pulls you close*

DC/Batfamily x Witwicky! Reader x Transformers (Completely Platonic only)

where reader gets sent to Gotham when they're still a baby for their safety as a last resort (which is fckn crazy like cuz pick which one is worse Joker or Megatron) by their Witwicky relatives because of Optimus orders so they can distract the decepticons first and find them again when it's safe (Sam may or may not exist in this au).

First origin After that Reader grew up in an orphanage but became a prodigy because of their high IQ and fascinating inventions due to inheriting their -unknowingly- great great grandfather Archibald Amundsen Witwicky's intelligence (idk im just winging this) then becoming the youngest engineer/mechanic in the gotham (world idk) that caught the attention of Batman when they accidentally hacked the batcomputer something they kind of jokingly bet to their professor so they don't have to do their thesis but was peer pressured in the end.

Batcomputer : *Starts glitching*

Batfam: *slightly tensed but wants to figure out who's the insane dummy that tries to hack THE Batcomputer*

Screen:

Reader: Heeeeeyyyyy it's meeeeee a hard working college student that needs proof that I actually hacked your computer, so Imma just take a lil pic and we'll just go back to our regular programming okie? Okay! *takes a selfie with the whole ass batfamily in their screen*

Reader: Thanks Batman! keep up the good work now to destroy evidence of the crime scene (still on the screen) *Shuts their laptop and proceeds to throw it out the window after*

*Gets adopted by Bruce Wayne anyway because a 13 year old kid in college needs money -preferably in cash- support and a Billionaire with the history of adopting wacky kids wants them for funsies*

Reader : *sits in the batcave with the hacking video on repeat in the batcomputer, surrounded and outnumbered by the batfam* Fuuuucccckkkk

Or 2nd you were sent instead by Edmund Burton, Alfred was the best option to protect and take care of the last descendant of Merlin and youngest member of the Order of Witwiccans, you grew up under Bruce Wayne but used the last name Pennyworth as a disguise to hide your true lineage, you still end up becoming a prodigy and the sort of mechanic of the family (you literally 80-90% engineered and build the Batmobile and most of Batman's gadgets) you didn't end up becoming a vigilante/hero because you stive to be the normal one or The civilian member in the family, You're either a nephew/niece to Bruce or the living in Cousin to the kids, you bet your ass you're either partner in crimes with Tim/Barbara or you kept -humbly- beating their asses over being the smart ass in the family.

Tim: *Best at hacking, Tech and gadgetry, the more smart robin and on the line to become the Wayne inc CEO* I'm not bragging or anything.

(All robins are smart he's just abit on top)

Reader: *looks at their name in all of the blueprints of gadgets, weapons, suits, transportations, the batcomputer, the batmobile, the watchtower, the JL headquarters security/bldg and the upgraded batcave system* That's great Timmy! you really are the smartest! *side eye the stacked up and approved projects for Gotham Structural proposals as well as the contract papers for the new in line brand of Tech you're making and quickly hiding the shiny nameplate 'CEO of the most famous electronics brand' with your name engraved on it*

It can also be x Neglected Reader as well where any of the 2 is your origin but you barely get noticed by your family other than your inventions and because you really don't like being into the family business due to not having the physical advantage of literally punching someone in the face without breaking your hands first.

so you just exist and try to finish college and live away to find your other family/ Find Edmund or just travel the world.

Origins aside

The reason why you are so important is the location of the all spark that was supposed to be imprinted to Archie's glasses was transferred to his brain instead become wired inside and somehow passed down to you that's why Optimus needed you safe until they can send the Decepticons away and find you.

I can imagine it going down like this

The world was under a new threat either by Megatron, the decepticons, Unicorn or even The Quintessons no one yet knows other than J'onn J'onzz /Martian Manhunter and Hal or the whole Green Lantern Corps who were close or worked with the Autobots before were alerted by them to ask for help.

Optimus and the rest of the growing Autobots that were left in the planet as well as Edmund met up with the Justice League to have a discussion about the new threat and was surprised that they only need someone instead.

Batman: Why do you specifically need this someone?

Edmund: I have sent orders to the Witwicky family to send their child here in your city for their safety due to the facts they have the location of the all spark also being the last and youngest member of the Order of Witwiccans.

Zatanna: Wait The Witwiccans? the one Merlin founded?

Edmund: Precisely my dear but should also add that they are the last living descendant of Merlin

Constantine who drops his lit cigarette: Fuckin hell and here I thought that man died a virgin HA!

Superman: And what is the all spark?

Optimus Prime: The All spark is a very powerful and ancient artifact from our old planet Cybertron, it has been documented by our people that it has the essence of our creator Primus himself.

Justice League looks more concerned:

Batman: And what danger does it bring to earth?

Optimus and the rest file them in about the years of war between the Autobots and decepticons, the destruction of Cybertron, they're arrival to Earth and explaining why the All Spark must never land in the hands of someone like Megatron or anything one with evil intentions.

Superman: Then as a fellow Alien that has took refuge and promise to protect Earth, We will help you but you must promise not to endanger the life of this Witwicky kid.

Batman: Now the only problem we need to solve is their whereabouts.

Edmund: Oh don't bother with that I had Hot Rod and Bumblebee fetch them earlier this morning.

Cue in a racing expensive red Lamborghini and yellow Chevrolet Camaro before transforming in the air and lands with You in Bumblebee's hand.

Reader: Hi! I don't know what's happening I didn't do it if you think I'm the suspect, I won't tell you anything till I get my lawyer.

The rest are in shock to see tiny you while Edmund greets you and distracts you from the rest.

The batfam and the rest of the league looks at Batman for an explanation

The younger heroes and sidekicks are amaze when they got a proper introduction from who you are.

Not Neglected Reader part:

Batfam are more proud about you but a bit worried because of the large problem you now have to carry on your shoulders but is happy you got tons of literal giant robot aliens to protect you along with the other heroes.

Neglected Reader part:

Batfam are shock to know the real you and what amazing things you've been hiding from your family, not only are you this legendary person that can locate and has the power to use a life giving artifact you've also been hiding your true self from them as they watch you interact with the Autobots and how you become comfortable and be expressive to them, you might be small and just a kid to their eyes but to the Autobots it's like you're their world.

----

THAT'S ALL I GOT FOLKS!

Tell me if ya like it I might make this after I finish or laid down NMC! this doesn't have to be Yandere btw

[thewertsearch]

Alright, there’s a lot going on in this room.

First of all, it’s clear that the Betty Crocker Corporation has supplanted more than just Skaianet. This woman's been stamping her name on chests, cutlery, computers, calendars, and even Fetch Modi, so her company is more like an unholy fusion of Skaianet, Google and Amazon.

I'd give it a week before she pulls a Musk, and rebrands this abomination as 'C' - assuming she hasn't already done so.

Second of all, I initially thought this wall of blue hunks was advertising Jane's tastes, but upon closer inspection, each of them bears a signature in the Pen-Pal's color.

His older self did have a strange fixation on blue women, and apparently it's etched into his DNA.

Your name is JANE. As was previously mentioned, you are poised for an ELITE OPPORTUNITY to test the SBURB ALPHA. It is so elite in fact, you are the only of your kind invited to playtest!

Jane is the only member of her 'kind' to be given a copy of Sburb, which implies that there are other kinds of people on this version of Earth. Crocker is confirmed to not be a human, so maybe the planet is also populated by whatever kind of creature she is.

Though you guess that probably comes with the territory of being the HEIRESS APPARENT TO A BAKED GOODS EMPIRE. You don't suppose it hurts that you are said empire's NUMBER ONE FANGIRL, either!

She practically worships the Crocker megacorporation - and even worse, she's being raised to lead the damn thing. Jane might actually be starting out as an antagonist to our original heroes, completely unaware that she's being shaped into a weapon against them.

In short: Jesus Christ, Jane. We need to get you out of here.

You fancy yourself a SKILLED PRANKSTRESS, if by no other measure than lineage.

I guess Nannasprite's mischievous nature wasn't derived solely from the jester doll.

It's sweet to imagine Jane learning the prankster's arts from her Grandpa John - but I am extremely worried for Grandpa John right now, so I can't even enjoy it.

You once dabbled in AMATEUR BOTANY but found it TOO FRUSTRATING, because your VEGETABLES KEPT DISAP-actually you know what, you DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

Growing pumpkins is every horticulturist's first mistake.

You are also pleased to contemplate FRIGHTENING FAUNA, though saddened by their regrettable FAKENESS ATTRIBUTE.

Flora and fauna. I was waiting to see a little of each Player's personality before making Title guesses, and Jane's evoking Life to me, just as her pervious incarnation did.

Now, that would break the apparent rule that Scratch-swapped Players preserve the session's original Aspects, but that rule hasn't been confirmed yet. Plus, Life might just be my Aspect, so I'd love to see it become more prominent in the story.

But none of that's on your mind now, because you are PSYCHED about this SPECIAL DATE, 11.11.11 [...] a date exhibiting just the sort of numerical gimmick corporations love to exploit for their big releases, or for launching MAJOR REBRANDING INITIATIVES. In the case of your CHERISHED MULTIGLOBAL EMPIRE, both such events are slated to happen today.

Wow, so Betty Crocker is already operating on multiple planets?

The more we see of this Earth, the more obvious it becomes that it's nothing like the world our heroes left behind. Everything has changed.

[makeitmingi]

When Flowers Bloom In The Dark [Chapter 9]

Genre: Romance, Mafia!AU, Violence, Angst, Slow burn

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Florist!Reader, Mafioso!Hongjoong, Mafioso!Seonghwa, Mafioso!Yunho, Mafioso!Yeosang, Mafioso!San, Mafioso!Mingi, Mafioso!Wooyoung, Mafioso!Jongho

Summary: When you appeared and wept at his mother's funeral, Hongjoong found himself wanting to find out more about you. A regular girl, who owns a flower shop in his territory and has a relationship with the mother that he hasn't spoken to in years, why hasn't he ever noticed you before?

[Warning(s): 18+ for violence, use of weapons, smoking, alcohol consumption, slight gore, gang affiliation, tattoos and character deaths. Minors DNI. This is a work of fiction and does not represent the Ateez members in real life.]

Word count: 3.2K

Chapter warning(s): Mentions of corruption, bounty-assassination .

Yunho had a satisfied, albeit evil, smile on his face as he hung up, putting his phone back on the desk.

"What are you smiling about?" Jongho raised an eyebrow, noticing the taller from the corner of his eye. Yunho shook his head with a playful shrug before continuing his work.

"If you get in trouble, don't make me complicit." Jongho warned with a chuckle.

"I won't. Don't worry, dear maknae." Yunho giggled. Jongho sighed, Yunho was always mischievous and messing around but got away with it because of his charming smile. Seeing how he had pulled up Hongjoong's phone location, he didn't want to know what he did to manipulate the captain.

"I'm done with my tasks for the day. I need a breather." Jongho yawned and stood up, stretching his limbs.

"Go ahead." Yunho hummed as Jongho grabbed what he needed and exited their computer cave.

"San hyung, I finished vetting all the potential investors for the casino. Here are their profiles." Jongho handed San the stack of folders with all the background checks of the investors.

"Thanks, Jongho ah." San took the first file off the top and skimmed through the contents.

"I'll take 5 and give the rest of Wooyoung." San snickered.

"He'll chew your head off if he finds out." Jongho shook his head. San shrugged, he has worked with Wooyoung long enough to know how to handle his tantrums.

"Hongjoong said there was an issue with the gardener?" Seonghwa walked in, eyes trained on his phone.

"Yeah, he was sketchy, taking photos and stuff. We suspect he's a spy so we fired him but Yunho hyung said he can handle it so I left him to it." Jongho explained. Seonghwa nodded, it was just hiring a new gardener, not a big deal that he needed to get involved in.

"Where did you go dressed up so fancily, hyung?" San asked, turning his body slightly to face the second in command. Seonghwa looked up from his phone.

"Meeting with the chief police commissioner. I needed some updates on the ground sensing." He blinked.

"Is it true that the smaller gangs are joining forces?" Mingi and Yeosang came in, having just finished their workout downstairs.

"It's too early to say for sure but they have noted a decrease in gang disputes in certain areas. There could a peace treaty or truce somewhere." Seonghwa informed.

"We should find out. I'll get my men on the ground." Jongho said.

"Thanks." Seonghwa cracked a small smile, heading up to go to his office to continue working.

"The chief police commissioner's gonna have to retire soon. We should get our hooks into the new potential candidate before he's elected in." Yeosang said.

"Hongjoong hyung's already working on that. But the current chief's influence sways the vote so we still have to maintain good graces with him. If they decide to elect someone else, like one of those upstanding justice types, it'll be tougher to get a foot in." Mingi crossed his arms.

"I'm hungry. I want a sandwich." San stood up from the couch and headed to towards the kitchen.

"Me too!" Mingi raised his hand

"Make that 3! After my shower." Yeosang chimed in.

"4!" Jongho added with a snicker. San spun around to scowl at the 3 before marching towards the kitchen to get the staff to make them all sandwiches.

"Okay, time to shower." Yeosang groaned and went upstairs. Mingi nodded in agreement and went to take his shower too.

"I'm home~!" Wooyoung declared as he entered the mansion, doing a spin and flipping the end of his jacket.

"I got a new suit." He smirked and spun around to show his outfit. The glittery on his jacket was subtle and sparkled the moment he stepped into the light, it complimented his figure well.

"How many black suits do you have?" Yeosang asked as he chewed on his sandwich. The others nodded in agreement, making Wooyoung's face fall.

"This is special. New silk lining." Wooyoung lifted one his of his jacket to show them the silver silk lining. San reached out to try and touch it but seeing his dirty fingers, Wooyoung scoffed and slapped his hand away. San yelped like a reprimanded puppy.

"Dirty hands!" Wooyoung scolded, making San glare at him.

"Mr Song, there is a visitor for you. Shall I let him through the gate?" The butler came in. MIngi frowned in confusion and checked his phone.

"Oh yeah... Okay, let him in. Have him wait in the living room area. I'll go get changed." Mingi waved.

"What visitor is this?" Jongho asked.

"The jewellery and accessories for the gala are here so I need to check them through." Mingi finished his sandwich and wiped his mouth, standing up to leave.

"Someone help me call Joong hyung to let him know." Mingi yelled to one of the remaining boys before running upstairs.

"Let me know what?" As if on cue, Hongjoong walked in.

"Mingi says his jewel guy is here with the accessories for the gala. Wanted you to check it out with him." Yeosang informed. Hongjoong nodded and left the dining room.

"Sir." The male stood up and bowed when he saw Hongjoong, knowing he was the head of the group. Hongjoong gave a curt nod and sat down. The staff came with a tray of hot coffee for Hongjoong, already prepared the moment he entered. Mingi came down in proper clothing.

"Hey. You're here, hyung." Mingi smiled to Hongjoong and sat beside him, giving an acknowledgement nod.

"Following Mr Song's request for white gold accessories to match dark, royal purple. These are what I have procured for your family." He took out trays from the box.

"Very nice." Hongjoong scanned through the tray and nodded in approval.

"This is yours, Mr Kim." The jeweller took out a velvet box and opened it, showing the necklace that Hongjoong requested.

"Asscher cut diamond with white gold, as per requested." The male said proudly. Mingi whistled while Hongjoong lifted it up, looking at the diamond right in the middle, surround by smaller diamonds.

"Nice, very well done." Hongjoong smirked.

"Wooyoung will like his new earrings." Mingi said to Hongjoong, showing him the diamond earrings.

"He's like Seonghwa, both like princess cut diamonds." Hongjoong scoffed and checked the diamonds, using the loupe from the jeweller to check the diamonds. Mingi, who usually had the keener eye for jewellery, took over to look at it.

"Damn." The other boys all came, seeing all the sparkly pieces laid out on the coffee table. Hongjoong gave out each piece to the designated owner, as per his plan.

"Nice." Yeosang smiled happily as he wore the white gold cuff on his wrist, stacking with a tennis bracelet.

"What do you think?" Wooyoung held up the collar chain in front of his shirt, showing the two diamonds at the end.

"Mmm, looks good. It'll match well." San gave a thumbs up, admiring his best friend. Seonghwa held his hand out in front of him, admiring his new ring.

"I'm glad you like it, sirs." The jeweller stood up to bow to them. Mingi smirked with confidence.

"Told you I only get good stuff." He scoffed.

"Yeah, yeah." Yunho slapped Mingi's shoulder. Once everything was settled, the jeweller packed up and took his leave.

"So, Yunho said he updated you about the gardener issue? Turns out he was being suspicious, worried that he's a spy for someone." Seonghwa asked Hongjoong as they were about to head upstairs to their offices. Hongjoong nodded his head in confirmation while Yunho snickered secretly.

"I settled it already, don't worry about it." Hongjoong replied, checking his phone. He and Seonghwa didn't hear Yunho's snickers, too caught up in their own conversations.

"You didn't have to busy yourself with that. We can survive without a gardener for a bit." Seonghwa pointed out.

"It's fine. Easily settled." Hongjoong shrugged, smiling gratefully to his best friend.

"Okay. Do you need Jongho or Yunho to vet the person?" Seonghwa asked. Hongjoong shook his head, walking alongside Seonghwa to return to their offices.

"What are you laughing about?" Mingi blinked in confusion.

"Nothing~" Yunho sang, stacking his jewellery boxes and bringing it up to his room.

"Dude, sometimes you're so weird, it's scary." Mingi said to his best friend as they walked together. Yunho turned to his best friend with a raised eyebrow.

"Coming from you?" Yunho taunted with a scoff. Mingi shrugged and turned to return to his room. It was purely coincidental that Yunho called Hongjoong about the gardner while he was at your shop. He totally didn't hope that you would overhear their conversation.

Meanwhile, Hongjoong was working at his desk, going over the number from the businesses that Ateez oversaw as a group, making sure everything was in order and there were no discrepencies.

Before he left, he had slipped his business card onto your work table, just in case you needed his number.

"Real smooth, Hongjoong." He scoffed at his actions. Would you even see the card?

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"Come in." Hongjoong looked up from his computer to see Jongho at his door. Jongho came in with a small, displeased frown on his face. He didn't say anything, merely sliding Hongjoong a piece of paper.

"What's wrong?" Hongjoong was confused but took the paper, unfolding it and reading the contents.

"What? Is this real?" He looked at the youngest in disbelief.

"Yeah, I was getting my informants on the ground to check for the change in gang related activities when this information came in. It's reliable, San hyung confirmed it on the network." Jongho explained, nodding over to the paper. Hongjoong let out a curse, standing up, he went over to Seonghwa's office.

"Thanks, Jong." Hongjoong said as he entered Seonghwa's office. Seonghwa knew it would be the leader, he was the only one that would enter without knocking.

"What's wrong, Joong?" Seonghwa raised an eyebrow. With the same piece of paper, he slid it to Seonghwa.

"You're kidding..." Seonghwa frowned as he read the paper's contents.

"No, I'm not. Jongho came to me after his informants got that, confirmed it with San too. He saw it on the network." Hongjoong crossed his arms.

"Sh*t. I was just there." Seonghwa cursed.

"We can't ask San to take the job, it's too obvious. It'll raise suspicion and be worse for us." Hongjoong said.

"Let's call the others." Seonghwa sighed, taking his phone and sending a text to the other Ateez members. Luckily everyone was home and they quickly gathered in Seonghwa's office.

"So, to let everyone know, Jongho's informants got new information. And San confirmed it on the network. There's a bounty on the current police commissioner's head." Hongjoong informed. The others all nodded, not saying anything yet.

"The bounty's payer is anonymous, according to the network. And you know the network will never give out the info." San said, leaning against the wall.

The network, a place where information and bounties were exchanged amongst all the underground organisations.

"Seonghwa hyung, you were just there. Anything?" Mingi asked. Seonghwa shook his head.

"I doubt he knows, he was too relaxed if he knew. This bounty is fresh, Jongho just gave Hongjoong to information." Seonghwa replied. Jongho nodded in confirmation.

"Can we ask him to hide then? Come back when the new commissioner needs to be elected." Yeosang raised his hand.

"No. We can't ask San to take the bounty too, it's too obvious of our involvement. It'll not end well." Hongjoong said.

"What can we do then? We need his vote for the new commissioner election. If that anti-corruption guy gets elected, it'll be harder for our businesses." Yunho sighed.

"For now, we need more info, get all your informants out on the ground. Any update, alert us immediately. I want to know where this bounty came from. Wooyoung, we'll need you to stake out the poker games. Any piece of information is useful. We'll contact our guys in the police to keep an eye out." Hongjoong decided.

"Yes, captain." All 7 replied.

"I'll go call my guy to get me a buy in for the next poker game." Wooyoung said, excusing himself to make the call.

Wooyoung was one of those that went to high stake poker games for high profile people. All kinds of people were there and all kinds of information was exchanged there.

"San, keep an ear out in the network. That's the best way to keep track of the bounty status." Seonghwa added.

"Yes, hyung." San saluted and walked out.

"We cannot alert the commissioner yet. But Jongho and Yunho, I want surveillance." Hongjoong looked at the two. They nodded and left the room.

"Would it be ironic if the anti corruption, "clean up the city" dude was the one that initiated the bounty?" Yeosang chuckled.

"I wouldn't put it past him, the whole thing with no more corruption and no more gangs is all a front. If he was the one that posted that bounty, I want proof that he did and we'll use that to sink him." Hongjoong said.

"Should I let Hyunmin know about this?" Hongjoong asked the remaining men in the room. Hyunmin was the candidate that was most likely going to be the current commissioner's successor.

"He's a blabbermouth, can we trust that he won't tell the current commissioner?" Mingi asked.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but Mingi's right." Seonghwa said with a small smile on his face. Mingi rolled his eyes at that comment.

"I'll keep it on the DL for now then. I have a lunch with him in two days. I really hope this issue gets sorted quickly." Hongjoong sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"Thanks." He waved and left Seonghwa's office with Mingi and Yeosang in tow.

"San? I don't want to alert the network that we are investigating who posted the bounty, okay?" Hongjoong said to the male who had emerged from his room, dressed in gym clothes.

"I know. Don't worry, hyung. I'll be careful. I won't ask them anything directly or raise any warning flags." San smiled, knowing exactly what Hongjoong expected of him. Patting the captain on the shoulder, San walked towards the exit of the mansion to go to his fight club to work out and work.

"Captain, I got something extra for you." Mingi entered Hongjoong's office. The shorter male turned around, blinking at the taller.

"This is for you. From us." Mingi grinned, taking a velvet box out of his inner suit pocket and handing it to Hongjoong. Hongjoong took with confusion on his face.

"Oh, wow." He was speechless. There was a ring with his captain crest, studded in diamonds, on it.

"For the head of the family, the captain." Mingi explained.

"This is amazing. Thank you, Mingi ah." Hongjoong smiled softly, wearing the slightly heavy ring on his finger immediately.

"No problem, hyung. We're all here thanks to you." Mingi grinned and waved before leaving the office. Hongjoong sat at his desk, looking at how the diamonds sparkled under the sunlight.

This was his mark, a sign of Ateez's power and his own power. Hongjoong had a tattoo of this crest on the back of his left shoulder and always had a captain's band on his arm, clipped onto the sleeve of his jacket, but this ring meant something so much more.

"We're all here thanks to you."

Hongjoong and Seonghwa formed Ateez from nothing. It took the effort from all the boys, their determination and strengths coming together to get to where they are today.

Although everyone says Hongjoong is the prince of darkness, his past was the reason for that. He wasn't always like this.

"I see you got your present." Seonghwa's voice interrupted his train of thought.

"Yeah... I love it. Thanks, Hwa. I know it must have been your idea." Hongjoong gratefully smiled at his best friend. Seonghwa shrugged it off but mirrored a similar smile.

"I forgot to give these to you earlier when you were in my office. You need to sign off on these." Seonghwa put the stack of files down.

"Ugh. Can't you do them?" Hongjoong whined.

"That was our deal remember? I handle illegal signings and you handle legal signings. You need to check the property acquisition contracts." Seonghwa raised his eyebrow. Hongjoong nodded with a sigh and Seonghwa took his leave. Taking the first file off the stack, Hongjoong looked at the contents.

"Hyung, I got my buy in." Wooyoung came into Hongjoong's office. Hongjoong looked up at Wooyoung and nodded.

"Do you need to brush up on your poker skills?" Hongjoong raised an eyebrow with a chuckle.

"No! I run casinos, that's an insult." Wooyoung scoffed. He plopped himself down on the chair opposite Hongjoong and took one of the files off the pile, flipping through it.

"We're really buying that vineyard Jongho wanted?" He laughed.

"Birthday present for him. It's the only thing he wants." Hongjoong sighed. He felt like a dad buying his kids expensive presents.

"So if I want horses and stables on the property, I can ask for them for my birthday?" Wooyoung asked with bright eyes. Hongjoong shot him a flat look.

"A vineyard is a good investment. I'm not sure how horses are a good investment for us." Hongjoong said.

"Boo, you're no fun, dad." Wooyoung stuck his tongue out at the captain. But seeing how Hongjoong was alone with so much paperwork, he stuck around to keep him company, chatting with him and weighing in on certain issues.

"Want one?" Wooyoung held up the crystal glass, helping himself to Hongjoong's bar cart. Hongjoong nodded and Wooyoung poured whiskey into two glasses.

"Thanks." Hongjoong took a sip, leaning back in his chair tiredly.

"These words and papers are making my head hurt." Wooyoung groaned and Hongjoong grunted in agreement.

"I should tell Hwa to give out some of these to the rest of you to do some too. Then both of us won't be stuck with moutains of files." Hongjoong said.

"No way, please. I'm already up to here with all the account books for the casinos." Wooyoung held his hand above his head.

"Remind me what's the charity we're donating to this quarter?" Hongjoong asked.

"Children's heart foundation." Wooyoung replied, sipping the remainder of the whiskey in his glass. Hongjoong hummed and signed off on the cheque that they will be cashing, putting it in an envelope. He looked at the huge pile that was still there, it never seems to get smaller.

"Ah! Hyung, let's take a break! We've been here for so long and the sun is setting already!" Wooyoung suddenly exclaimed, making Hongjoong jump.

"Your idea of a break means leaving the work entirely." Hongjoong pointed out.

"Exactly! Let's go." Wooyoung tugged Hongjoong out of his chair.

"Where are we going?" Hongjoong asked as Wooyoung pushed him out into the hallway, turning off the lights in his office and closing the door so Hongjoong wouldn't re-enter.

"Anywhere but here." Wooyoung laughed. He sent a text to everyone that they'll go out for dinner tonight.

"If Seonghwa gets mad that I didn't finish the work, I'm blaming you." Hongjoong threatened but of course, Wooyoung didn't care.

"I already texted the others. Go get changed, we're going for dinner and drinks." Wooyoung left Hongjoong in the hallway and ran to his own room to change.

"Yah! Jung Wooyoung!" Hongjoong yelled.

~

Series masterlist

[lactoseintolerentswag]

Donnie Tech Part 1/?

After many moons here are the promised observations of the cartoon shtick logic of Donnie's weapons for season one!! Will link a season two and movie version Eventually, but keep in mind I can't explain in depth how each bit of tech works, rather that I can pinpoint the functions for the visual bit. Keep in mind that Donnie's tech can pretty much do any ridiculous thing you can put your mind to, and that it can also backfire in any ridiculous way you can put your mind to.

Tech Bo:

Collapsible, can become a shorter version of itself easily stored

Shoot a grappling hook AND function as a zip line

Can form a rocket from either end (usually at the same time, resulting in the bo spinning)

Is equipped to be a fire extinguisher

Can shoot out lasers

Has a button that activates the "Shopping Cart Protocol" to lock the Turtle Tank if it goes outside a set perimeter

Top can turn into a rocket powered fist

Turn into a giant drill

Turn into a saw

Turn into a tranquilizer

Turn into a tennis ball shooter

Turn into a selfie stick

Top can turn into a disco ball of "multidimensional reflective orb neutralizer"

Battle Shell:

Has rotary engines (think jet turbine or computer fan) that help him fly around. He calls them "rotors" for short

Can transform into a seat so April can sit on his back

Can split up into a DJ set up in "music mode"

Jet Pack Shell:

His fastest mode of transportation

Not much is shown, but April had a significant difficulty controlling it

Spider Shell:

Has four arms with three fingers

Arms can turn into saws

Has a seemingly endless toolkit inside that includes basic things like hammers and wrenches, but also blowtorches

Goggles:

Has night vision

Can function as binoculars

Is able to summon is tech ("communicates with microwave transceiver with class c encryption protocols")

Read mystic energy signatures after adding the crystal they found in Draxum's lab

Gauntlet:

Has an app that can tap into every security camera in NY

Bug Slapper:

Has a green Mad Dogs sticker on the side

Compacts itself into a metal suitcase and then expand back into a vehicle

So far only uses Big Mama's webbing material as projectiles

Shelldon:

Began as an automated smart lair designed with the intent as a cleaning assistant

Has a "disposal unit" which unlocks several of Donnie's weapons such as: guns, pinchers, drills, and flamethrowers

Can carry at least two turtles (Mikey and Donnie)

Is nicknamed "Cyber Bishop" by Donnie

Uses surfer dude slang: “dude”, “gnarly”, “buzzkill”, “okey dokey”, “dawg”, “you beefed it”, “brohounds"

As a smart lair has clear favoritism towards Donnie until tampered with. As a drone they share more of a familial or pet like relationship, and Shelldon has room to sometimes poke at Donnie's faults as well

In conclusion there's not much to worry about breaking canon, the physics of our reality, or understanding complicated tech and science to write about Donnie's tech. He can do whatever he wants as long as it's silly, overly dramatic, and includes an unnecessary amount of purple guns. His tech bo is especially flexible with breaking the rules even before we get to his ninpo powers.

I'm keeping the Turtle Tank separate, because it also deserves its own post. Happy writing!

[mrrharper]

The Bro Zone Resort

Mike entered the resort’s reception area and looked around. It was early in the day so there weren’t that many people around. He walked up to the desk.

“Good morning, sir. How can I help you?” A large and muscular man, wearing a tank top with the resort’s logo proudly displayed on his chest, was standing on the other side of the desk and looking at Mike with a slight grin.

“Uhm, hi.” He slowly responded, not used to such a brawny dude talking to him. “I… I have a reservation under the name Mike Crawford for uhhh… the “Bro Tropical” package, I think.” The man behind the desk smiled and nodded, then typed something into his computer while Mike’s eyes wandered towards his broad chest. Then he finally noticed the name written on the tank top, above the left pectoral. Brock. A name very fitting the man, Mike thought.

“Okay, I have everything he need.” Brock spoke, throwing Mike out of his line of thought.

“Uhm, sorry what?” He put on a sheepish grin and Brock chuckled. 

“I have everything ready for you, Mike.” A brochure and a room card were put on the counter by Brock. “You’ll spend your week at the Bro Zone in Room 37F, and your resident for the length of your stay will be Cross, one of our best.” Mike thanked Brock, took all that was given to him and walked up to the elevator. He quickly got up to the third floor and started walking along the corridor, looking for his room. Fortunately, it wasn’t far from the elevator shaft and he unlocked the door with the card he got at the reception desk.

The first thing that hit him was the smell. The entire room reeked of sweat, cheep cologne and a few other things Mike could not name. As he got his bag into the room and closed the door behind him, he looked around and saw an absolute mess. Used jockstraps, shorts and tank tops were hanging from every piece of furniture. Dumbbells were scattered on the floor and every flat surface was covered by cans of coke and protein shake bottles. Mike closed his eyes and let the horrible smell fill his nostrils. God, he was in heaven, he thought.

Suddenly he heard some sounds coming from the bathroom and the door to it opened, revealing the main attraction of Mike’s stay at The Bro Zone. In front of him stood a 6’3 brute, every part of his body thick with muscles, with a few tattoos, a tank top clearly too small to cover all of this bulk, and sweaty gym shorts. Cross looked at Mike, scratched at his crotch and nodded.

“Sup, brah? You Mike?”

“Uhm, yeah.” He nodded awkwardly. Cross shrugged and walked around Mike, then settled on the couch and grabbed one of the half-empty protein shakers on the table next to him.

“Yer bedroom’s on the right” The gym bro moved his hand around, showing Mike what was where in their apartment. “There’s the bathroom, there’s the kitchen, there’s the entrance to the terrace with the pool.”

“Thanks” Mike smiled and walked towards his bedroom.

“Whatever, bro” He heard a grumbled response behind his back.

Mike went into his room and quickly unpacked. The sweaty stench was still very much there, but at least there was no random shit on the floor. As he sat down on the bed and took a deep breath, he smiled. He already knew he was gonna enjoy his stay at the resort.

Then he took out the brochure he got form Brock after coming in and flipped through the pages until he found the only actually important thing - the command that would allow him to control Cross. There were limitations to this of course, the gym bro wouldn’t do anything that would go against his core traits that Mike chose while booking his stay. But it was still a powerful weapon.

With the command memorized, Mike quickly changed into his swimming shorts, his hard on already visible, and left his room. He went back to the main area of the apartment and looked at Cross, who was watching something on TV, his sweaty armpits exposed for Mike to see.

“Bro code.” Mike said with an assertive tone. Cross turned towards him. He still had that arrogant expression on his face, but he was clearly listening. “Go get changed, we’re going swimming.”

“Sure bruh, whatever ya say dude.” The bro shrugged and stood up, then went outside. Mike had a giant grin on his face, he was so excited. 

When he went outside onto the terrace a minute later he saw Cross on the edge of the pool, wearing only a pair of briefs and sunglasses, his hunky body - and his hefty package - almost completely exposed. Mike slowly licked his lips and took a step forward.