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crack-whore-who-fuckedup-already · 2 months ago

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Be My Witness {14}

Part 14- Intoxication

Word Count- 8.1k

Content Warning- fake medical science lol, alcohol use, drug use, descriptions of minor injury, descriptions of intoxication, cannibalism, assault (Reader gets man handled by Al), mentions of past traumas

Authors Note- BAHAHAHAHA HEY YALL. happy to be back, long time no see! life has been really busy lately but i finally managed to finish a chapter! woohoo!! this one is certainly a thrilling ride, so strap in and read on!

Tag list!! (i see youz lurkin nyehehe <3)-- @cha0tic-auth0r

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Be My Witness Masterlist!

SONG: PIN-EYE by Jhariah

(unfortunately no lyric video found...)

youtube

It was pure luck that Angel would be getting his popsicles. With the hectic events of the afternoon -meeting Alastor, being mentioned in association with the hotel on live television, running into Val so soon after-, the last of the doe's errands had slipped her mind almost entirely. It wasn't until they passed a grocery store in NorthPen did her steps falter, an advertisement for the cold sticky-sweet treat catching her attention out of the corner of her eye.

Y/n hesitated to go in. Fat Nuggets was getting restless, and she felt exhaustion creeping into her bones, making her ache and yearn for rest. But with another bite to her torn cheek, she back tracked and stepped into the shop.

The hotel was a relief to see as they turned onto the street. Y/n finally felt like she could breathe. She never expected how quickly she'd come to think of this place as home -rickety walls, leaky pipes and all. She and Angel were together, and the hotel was surprisingly safe, making her feel safe. She was yet to see how that held up against Val's temper, but she wasn't letting herself think about that right now. She would find out soon enough.

Alastor hummed thoughtfully as they approached the building, already making a list of all the things he would change. Things he will change as soon as he's in good graces with the Princess.

When they approached the circus tent awning, Y/n waved Alastor toward the front door.

“Go ahead. I'll be there in just a minute.”

The buck stared after her for a moment, curious as she set the piglet down. The creature sniffed around the dirt, its little snout twitching and snorting. When his little hoof started pawing at the ground, Alastor finally turned to the door and knocked.

It took a moment, but sure enough, the door opened. Slow and unsure, a pale face peered up at The Radio Demon. He beamed his best smile.

“Hel-!”

The door slammed sharply in his face, and Alastor stood dumbfounded. A tense beat later, it opened again.

“-lo!”

The door slammed once more.

With an imperceptible twitch of his ears Alastor turned toward Y/n. The pig had finished his business and was now back securely in the doe's arms.

Her expression was haughty, almost smug when his eyes met hers. “Wow. Such a shady character, even Charlie Morningstar rejected you? I really should be concerned.”

“Nothing but a dazzling personality here, dearie! I couldn't possibly know what you're referring to. ‘Shady character’, ha!”

Y/n stood next to him now. As close as when she had tripped earlier, except now it was no accident. The way she looked up at him, her gaze unwavering, the faintest of smiles playing on her lips- it was all very relaxed. Like she had given up her earlier defensiveness. Her chin cocked towards him, her brow raising teasingly as a small laugh escaped her.

Alastor saw it then. The faintest of shimmers on her skin; spider silks fluttering in the breeze and catching the evening sun, caressing her face, her shoulders, her arms. Her magic was at play, coating her in illusions and hiding her true self from him. Barely visible, even to his trained eye.

He forgot himself as they held each other's gaze, and so unwilling to break away from her lure, he began to wonder if she was using her magic on him. Some sort of compulsion power he was unaware of, perhaps.

But, no. Simply a challenge of sheer will. Deer versus deer. Soul versus stubborn soul.

The door opened again, snapping Alastor out of his daze. The pale face stared up at him.

“May I speak now?”

Charlie's stunned eyes found Y/n's.

The doe gestured weakly to the Overlord beside her. “A stray followed me home.”

Charlie looked back at the sinner clad in red, suspicious but also intrigued. “You may…” she permitted the newcomer.

Y/n shuffled past the princess and into the lobby, leaving them to introductions. She felt a sense of accomplishment, managing to get back to the hotel safely with this stranger on her heels. But knowing that he intended to stick around to ‘help’ made uncertainty bubble low in her spine. A dull ache settled behind her eyes and she tried to forcefully shake the feeling off with a quick flap of her ears.

The doe passed a riled Vaggie on her way to finding Angel, who was laying on the sofa. Raggedy, stained, and worn in, it was the only loungewear in the lobby available for seating at the moment, the other couches strewn up against the walls. One of Angel's legs was hanging off the side of the cushions, the other propped up against the backrest. He had a popsicle stick hanging out of his mouth as his upper two hands fiddled with his hair, fingers smoothing through it; a carefully established routine after a successful fight.

He was focused pulling a few bloody strands apart when Y/n approached him, plopping the piglet on his chest before she herself plopped between his spread legs, the bags forgotten on the floor.

Angel cooed at the sight of his precious pet, wrapping him up in a smothering hug. Fat Nuggets didn't mind one bit. He squealed and snorted in delight as he rubbed cheeks with his owner.

The spider turned to Y/n with a smile and a word of gratitude on his tongue but stopped short as he took in the sight of her.

She leaned back tensely, trapping Angel's leg against the back of the couch. Her eyes were closed, brows pinched in discomfort. One of her hands was to her head, holding her temple carefully. She heaved a heavy breath, exhaling long and slow through her lips, which twisted into a soft scowl soon after.

“Sugar?” Angel's hand found her shoulder. “You alright?”

Her eyes cracked open, peeking at him through her lashes as she took another deep breath. Then she forced a small smile to her lips.

“Headache,” she stated simply, shifting in her seat.

Angel's lower arms reached out for her and easily tugged her onto his reclined form. Fat Nuggets traded spots with her, finding himself nestled between the doe's and spider's splayed legs at the opposite end of the couch.

Y/n wrapped her arms around Angel, sinking into his warmth. “Just peachy otherwise,” she sighed happily.

She could hear talking around the corner, Alastors cheery demeanor doing jack shit to ward off Vaggie's suspicion. The silver haired woman growled a curse at the man, her defensiveness giving way to her native language.

Y/n tittered at the insult. Her close exposure to Valentino allowed her to make out the words' offensive meaning. She could only imagine how The Radio Demon felt being aggressively called a son of a bitch. If he even understood that that's what was being said to him.

“Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here,” he began, his carefree words turning suddenly sinister.

“I would have d̶͓̾o̸̜̱͑̀n̶̥̅͝ë̸̯ ŝ̶̛̲̩̭͙̞̼̩̩͈̳̉̋̈͗͆̿͐̅͗̚͝͝ͅo̴̡̼͕̭͖̬͍̤̜̯̎ a̷̢̛̺͖̺̦͈̗͓͔͛̐̾̏̿̒̽͆̀̅̃͌̃̈́̾̓́̉̀͝͝ľ̵̨̡̨̧̙̥̖̺̹̞̦͈̗̳̺̦͕͈͉̠̞͙̠̥̓̄̀͐̔̔̇̒̑̈́͜͝͝r̸͔̰͚͇̙͚̳̦͓̮͖̳̙̰̲̣̞͍̖͕̲̮̳͂͑̊͆̃̂̚̕ͅȩ̶̢̛̟̲̼͔͕̻͎̱̣̳̗̜̬̝̠͈͊͛̋͂̆͗͜ą̵̡͔̜͙̗̩͈̥͕̩̰̹͛͑̈͋ͅͅͅd̵̨̬̯̙̃͂̅̀̌̓̎͗́̀͛͋͌̇̑͋̌̓͋̑͒̓̑̄̕̕y̷̗̍́̈́̃̓̈̔̅̀̋̈́̐̇͛̌͋̀́̀̌̈́̽̌̆̐̍̚͘͝͝.”

Radio static filled the lobby, thick and suffocating. It made Y/n's ears ring and her hairs stand on edge. Her giggles quieted and she flinched, the throbbing in her head amplifying as the room tensed at Alastor's words.

But it was gone as quickly as it came, and Alastor excitedly changed the subject.

Y/n caught her cheek between her teeth, tugging and pulling at the already shredded skin there until it tore further. She swallowed thickly, pushing down the rising nerves once more.

Instead she focused on the tingling in her body, just underneath her skin. It had begun creeping in as she was leaving the grocery store and was now a pleasant subtle pulse. Shadows passed behind her eyelids, shapes and colors hardly discernible due to her low doses. But she was experienced enough with her own blood to recognize the effects. Far too many times she had defaulted to this form of self-administration. A last resort is what she would say to anyone who dared ask about it, which no one did. But really, it was just a nasty habit she developed over the years and couldn't quite seem to kick.

“...Y/n?”

“Hmm?” Her eyes shot open at Angel's voice.

“Did you hear a thing I said?”

“What?” She looked up at him.

“The Vaudevillian Villain over there tucker you out that good, huh?” He gestured toward Alastor who, along with Charlie and Vaggie, had filed further into the lobby. “I thought ya didn't have work today. Val call you in too?” She stared at him, her brain slow to process his implications. “Why did you bring him back here? He must've been real good under the sheets for you to-”

“No, no! He's not a client, Angel. I ran into him on the way home. He said he wanted to help so…”

“Ahhh, I see. A gentleman wanting to lend a helping hand? And just how good were those hands exactly?”

Y/n thumped his chest. “It's not like that. He wants to help Charlie with this place. Or at least, that's what he told me.”

“And you believed him?” The spider's head tilted forward, challenging her with a teasingly inquisitive smirk. “You're not at all blinded by his demon form, deer cunt yearning to feel his big deer co-”

“Woah-kay!” Y/n's hand clamped down over Angel's mouth. Her own head quirked, thinking she had the upper hand in this friendly game. “Y’know, I'd be careful how you talk to me or those popsicles I got you? I'll toss ‘em to the quieves.”

Angel pulled back with a smug smile. “Not if I eat them all first.”

It didn't take much at all for Angel to push Y/n off of him and straight onto the floor. She landed with a thud and a harsh groan. “Oh, you fucking dick.” Despite his roughness, they laughed at each other, her while she rubbed her sore bum, and him while he reached for the abandoned bag on the floor.

Angel sat back with a new popsicle in hand -slightly melted and runny, just how he liked them. Y/n stood and stretched before snatching the ice-pop box and walking it to the fridge, making a big show of it for a watching Angel Dust. He only sucked long and hard on his vaguely phallic shaped frozen treat, eyes boldy holding hers as she walked away, knowing full well he won. They both grinned at their friendly competition.

Y/n indulged in a popsicle. She hadn't eaten yet today and her stomach was starting to make it known. If she had been paying any attention to her bodily cues, she would have gotten something other than popsicles at the grocery store. Somehow the Princess of Hell was struggling to understand the concept of a stocked kitchen.

Y/n settled next to Angel on the couch again, discarding the wrapper on the table nearby.

“Redemption. Oh, the nonexistent humanity! No, no, no, no. I don't think there's anything left that can save such loathsome sinners.”

Suddenly Alastor was talking about, and gesturing, to them. Y/n's face turned sour as she pulled the frozen treat from her lips, and Angel threw his hands up incredulously. Standing next to Y/n, Vaggie looked like she was going to explode, her arms crossed and her jaw clenched.

“There's no undoing what is done.”

“So then, why do you want to help me if you don't believe in my cause?”

“Consider it an investment! In ongoing entertainment for myself,” Alastor pitched. “I want to watch the scum of the earth struggle to climb up the hill of betterment, only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure.”

Angel spared a glance at Y/n. His brow was furrowed, quirked, as if asking ‘this the guy you brought home?’. Y/n only rolled her eyes dismissively because no, he isn't. And no, she didn't. At least, not intentionally. And certainly not for the reason Angel was insinuating.

The accusations were starting to irk her, uncharacteristically so. She wasn't easily bugged by Angel's comments, not usually. She considered for a moment, maybe it was The Radio Demon’s static and his pitiless words that was dampening her mood. Either way, she needed a breather; a moment to herself, where she may or may not be able to sneak herself something stronger than… well, her cheek.

Alastor pulled Charlie to the other side of the room, falling into thinly veiled flattery. Y/n took that as her chance to get away. With a deep breath, she scooped up Fat Nuggets and his bag, and shuffled toward the rickety grand staircase, popsicle melting in her mouth as she went.

“I'm off to get a bump-” A Freudian slip if she'd ever had one. “Book!” Y/n spun around, a guilty laugh escaping her. “I'm gonna go get a book… to, uhm, read… Yeah.”

Luckily, Vaggie seemed too focused on Charlie and her new guest to acknowledge the slip up. Angel bit back his laughter with a shake of his head as Y/n slowly turned around, hoping not to draw any further attention to herself. Then she was up the staircase and by her lonesome, finally.

Fat Nuggets was dropped off at Angel's room and Y/n was sure to grant him a generous amount of pets before she left him in his new home. Then she trudged across the hall and into her own room.

She didn't bother flipping the lights as she entered. Just closed the door behind her and let the darkness shroud her. Moving through the shadows, she pulled back the curtains just enough to allow her to see what she was doing. A small stripe of light was cast across her bed and Y/n noticed a bag sat there, seemingly waiting for her on the mattress.

The bag that Alastor had taken from her at the start of their walk.

Y/n approached carefully, convinced it was some trick. A bag full of spiders, rabid rats, flaming wasps. Or worse… cheap, impure drugs.

But when she pulled the bag open, nothing jumped out at her or seemed out of the ordinary. In fact, everything was accounted for, and then some. The new clothes she bought for herself, the string light decoration she decided on last minute, and something new -yet strikingly nostalgic.

A radio.

Old fashioned and ornate, it sat among the various pieces of fabric, tucked almost entirely away. She reached for it, pulling the device free from the bag and holding it up to the light to inspect it.

It was heavy in her hands but not cumbersome. The wooden panels were stained and polished, not a splinter out of place as she ran her fingers along the grain. The knobs were a pale ivory, indicators painted with a bold red. The speaker was covered with a hard mesh, wood pieces twisting over it like decorative armor.

Y/n's breath hitched, unsure how she came into possession of such a beautiful work of art. And unsure what she did to deserve it.

...Alastor….

...When did he…?

On second thought, maybe a random and expensive looking gift from an ominously illusive Overlord wasn't a good thing at all…

Still, it was a wonderful piece of technology. It would be a shame if she were to discard it so thoughtlessly... So onto the shelf it went with the other nicknacks she's collected over the years. It fit snugly between the crystal tower Angel gifted her and the handful of books she kept in her reading rotation. A dazzling centerpiece.

With a satisfied nod, she went about her business. She plucked a book off the shelf to take downstairs before bumbling around her room, trying to remember where she'd put her dwindling stash. When she finally found it, her heart sank at how much was left; a measly corner in the already small bag. She took the rest of it quickly then crumbled up the empty bag with a groan and tossed it aside to deal with later.

With her nerves back in check, the rest of the day went by in a blur. Nifty and Husker were interesting characters Y/n was sure she'd be forced to get to know. And of course, the most exciting part of the evening; when a bozo in a decked out blimp busted down the front wall and the chaos that ensued. The Radio Demon was quick to flaunt his scarily impressive power while he bested the serpentine demon. And when that was done and dealt with, he led everyone back inside while volunteering himself to make food for everyone. Which Vaggie, Y/n and even Angel thought was a little too eager, but of course Charlie encouraged him. Though to Alastor’s credit, the first whiff of it out the kitchen and Y/n fell silent mid conversation with Angel.

The spider's recounting of his afternoon battle fell on deaf ears as Y/n closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, gathering up as much of the savory aroma as she could. Her head spun as her mouth watered, and the doe remembered then how little she'd had to eat that day. So when the time came, she joined everyone else in the dining room and took a seat at the table.

Alastor had boasted about this particular jambalaya recipe- something having to do with his mother. Y/n would have probed him about the topic if he hadn't disappeared immediately after presenting the dish. What kind of host prepares a meal but doesn't stick around to see their guest enjoy it? Not the most encouraging in terms of trust. I mean, what if he had poisoned the food? Or cursed it somehow? Or… or… oh, what did it matter when it smelled that heavenly. And the flavor absolutely blew her away. Y/n genuinely couldn't remember the last meal she had in Hell that tasted this flavorful. Explosive, spicy, and wonderfully textured, the doe found herself filling her plate with more than she could eat.

With a full tummy and a foggy mind, Angel hauled her to the new bar while ranting and raving about how relieved he was that alcohol was allowed in the building again. Husker seemed oh-so very thrilled to be serving them- not. The old cat was grouchier than when Angel doesn't get his coke fix.

One, two, three shots went by, as well as a cocktail or two. When Y/n felt her head droop with her eyes, she figured it was time to tuck herself away for the night before she wasn't able to get up for her morning shift. She bid Angel and Husker a goodnight, then trudged her way to her room.

Sleep came quick enough, though it didn't quite stick. She was up a couple of hours later, parched and unable to turn her brain off. So she decided to do some exploring. There were still floors of the hotel Y/n had yet to see, after all. The theatre was yet to be found.

The doe knew she could ask Charlie where it was, but she rather enjoyed meandering through the building and making discoveries of her own. So she slipped something warmer on, grabbed a bottle from the now empty lobby, and set out to look around.

Turns out the hotel also had a confectionery shop, an indoor playground, as well as a nurses office. It struck Y/n how many of the rooms were geared toward children. She even came across a fun house room, complete with distorted mirrors, twisty slides, and shifting, twisting platforms. With a swig of the bottle, she moved on quickly.

At the end of a hallway was a white marble foyer, grand golden doors at its center. Her ears perked up and her tail twitched excitedly as she pushed through the doors; she knew this is what she had been looking for.

If the rest of the hotel was run down, the theatre was absolutely trashed. Shredded curtains, busted seats, and holes in the ceiling with the night sky peeking through at her.

The crown moulding was orchard themed. Apples, naturally. The centerpiece hanging over the foot of the stage was a tall and burly tree. Its cobweb covered branches spread out to either side, reaching all the way around the theatre house. Golden apples, birds, and snakes stood out among the artwork and peered down at her, making her feel a little less alone.

It was but a shell of the theatre it once was. Y/n could tell that much without even having seen its original state. But she didn't mind. She was just happy to be back in a theatre.

She hopped up onto the stage, bottle clutched firmly in hand.

There were still lights fixed to the ceiling, pointed toward the stage, and she figured if she could find a light box she might be able to turn them on. With another swig, she peeked around backstage, through the darkness.

Eventually, on the other side of the stage, she came across a switch box. The protective front panel was slashed open, metal shanks jutting aggressively outward. Y/n didn't have to open the box to know the circuitry was fucked, she could see the damaged switch board through the shredded panel.

“Looking to put on a show, dearie?”

Y/n's heart jumped out of her chest. With a startled gasp, she spun around as the bottle slipped out of her hand and shattered on the wooden floor beneath her. She stepped back in a panic, the sound of glass shattering making her flinch out of the way and bump against the switch box.

Her gaze found who had snuck up on her; the obnoxious newcomer, Alastor. He stood by the curtain and, despite being bathed in shadows, his eyes glowed red with amusement as they scanned the broken bottle at her feet.

“What a terrible waste of whiskey,” he chided unseriously.

Y/n sighed. “What are you doing here?”

“A star's debut on a new stage; how could I miss it,” Alastor said, once again frustratingly blasé.

Her ear twitched and her fur prickled. “New?” Y/n grumbled. “What makes you think I'm new here?” She gestured vaguely to the theatre around her.

“What artist would perform fully in the dark, unless they were unfamiliar with the theatre?”

He had a point, she supposed. Her first instinct had been to turn on the light, after all. Still, she hated to admit he was right.

Y/n stepped over the broken glass and spilled drink, making her way past the buck and back toward the stage, light box abandoned. The glow from the hellish sky would have to do in illuminating her way.

She stopped briefly beside Alastor, shoulder nearly brushing his. It was starting to feel like a test, no, a challenge, the way she'd stand so boldly close to him. But right now, her eyes were distant as she looked stubbornly into his, unfocused like her mind was all the way down in Sloth Ring. So he dismissed it this instance on the grounds of her intoxication.

“Well, smart-ass, you're shit out of luck. There's not going to be a performance here tonight.” Y/n wasn't entirely sure she really believed her own words as she left the wings. “Not in the way you want it, anyway," she settled for.

Her feet stopped her at center stage and she faced the audience, taking in the ratty seats. She didn't have to try too hard to imagine them as they were years ago, plush and full of demons ready for a show. She felt a tickle in her throat: her voice twitching with the suppressed urge to sing.

“Ohh,” Alastor trilled, having turned to follow her. “We've a diva in our midst, do we now? Is the state of the theatre not to your liking?”

Y/n hummed. So, this is the act she'd be playing. If it was a diva he wanted, a diva he would get.

“No, actually, it's not,” she snapped as she spun on her heel. “The curtains are torn, and the stage floor is completely worn out- more so than I am after a day of work,” she critiqued. The doe looked up at the ceiling. “Probably because there's more exposed holes in the roof than in one of my pornos, and the acid rain over the years has eaten away at the varnish.” She scuffed the floor with her shoe, twisting the ball of her foot into the worn wood to test the resistance. “Don't even think I could do a decent pirouette on here without embarrassing myself.” Then she looked out into the audience for a second before pointing to the lights fixed to the ceiling. “And the lights! Don't get me fucking started on the lights,” she growled.

Alastor watched her theatrical tirade. He felt like an actor in the scene with her, standing on the stage opposite to her, working off each other's energy. It was a thrilling sensation.

Though nothing thrilled him as much as the thought of being her director. Her doing exactly as he says, executing his visions, making his art come to life...

How rare it was for him to come across a muse. Exceedingly so. Alastor hoped she didn't disappoint him.

“Who knew the Morningstar Princess had such ungrateful residents?”

It was a joke, meant to tease the woman for her clearly obvious act. But her face fell and she went silent as the words hung in air between them. Suddenly she wasn't acting, and her posture shifted tensely.

The buck rolled his eyes. This was a part of their little dance he was growing less and less fond of; her ever shifting sensitivity. His favorite game of cat and mouse and he suddenly seems bored of it when playing with her. One minute she's joking along with him, the next she's shut up tight like a clam.

Alastor would crack her eventually.

The Radio Demon took a step, and then another. With every slow, suave footfall in the doe's direction, a stage light turned on, one by one in a row until the entirety of the stage was brightly illuminated. He was standing a mere foot away from her now, and she turned her chin up at him, glaring in the suddenly blinding lights.

One of her hands came up to shield her face and Alastor caught sight of that delicate shine on her skin again. It shimmered down the blade of her hand, over her wrist bone, and up her arm. Alastor followed it for as far as he could see it. She shifted and the shine disappeared under the light as something else was revealed.

A cut. On her upper arm, just above her elbow. It wasn't terribly long, but it looked deep and ragged around the edges. Crimson was weeping thickly from the gash and Alastor could smell the metallic tang from where he stood.

His brow quirked as he swallowed the saliva that pooled under his tongue.

“You're bleeding.”

The doe looked stunned for a moment. Then it was her turn to roll her eyes. She exhaled a short disbelieving puff of air, almost a laugh, as she shook her head incredulously. Another shift in attitude.

“What a joke. Peak comedy right there, ladies and gentleman.”

Hmm, sarcasm, the buck thought to himself. I suppose that's better than outright wariness.

Her scorn wasn't over though. And since she insisted on making a mockery of him, he insisted on having a taste of her; that taste he never got all those years ago.

“Just watch how I laugh. Ha, ha- ow!” Y/n flinched.

Alastor pulled away from her arm, finger tips coated in her sticky blood. She glared harshly at him for a split second just before she registered him raising his hand to his mouth.

His lips closed happily around his finger.

“NO-” She jumped to stop him, but he beat her to it.

Tangy and bitter, the coppery flavor coated his tongue. He swallowed thickly, and so did she, their reasoning vastly different.

“What did you just do?” Her voice was nothing if not panicked, her glare replaced with wide, clear eyes- clearer than they had been just moments before. They flicked between his fingers, his lips, and back to his own red ones before her hands flew to cover her mouth. “Oh, fuck,” she breathed.

“I enjoy a meal with my entertainment, dearie. Don't you?” He said it so nonchalantly, Y/n almost agreed with him.

“Oh, no no-no-no no.” She grabbed his wrist -hand still held up to his face for another tasting- and pulled, yanked it away from his lips.

Alastor tensed, her cold fingers foreign on his warm skin. He almost pried himself away, then pried her in half, simply for touching him. The only reason he didn't, or so he told himself, was because it got him one step closer to her magic. With her hand wrapped around his wrist, he could feel her power as it coated her skin, light and soft. It didn't penetrate, just swirled against their flesh like early morning mist on the bayou, and the buck thought it felt similar to walking through springtime fog.

Y/n brushed at his fingers, wiping away what little blood was left on them.

“What did you do?”

“No need to worry, dearie. It was only a taste. I would have taken more if I really wanted to, so consider yourself safe,” His eyes narrowed, conveying something akin to playfulness. “For now.”

“What-?” She looked him up and down quickly, cautiously. “You're a-”

“A cannibal? Well, yes of course.”

Y/n released his wrist. “This isn't good.” She took a sobering step back. “This is not good.”

“It wasn't terrible, actually.” Alastor said matter-a-factly, mindlessly taunting the doe as she looked around, frantically trying to figure out what to do next. “I've had worse tasting snacks than you.”

She snapped to face him. “Don't you fucking dare call me that.” Her eyes were frenzied, bright and blazing with defensiveness.

Alastor held her glare, steadily and boldly. “There it is.” Intrigue colored his voice as his grin widened. “There's that fire I remember you having.”

Y/n seethed for a minute, absolutely livid with the demon in front of her. But he smacked his lips, tongue darting out to clean away any remaining blood and the doe quickly had to prioritize damage control over emotional crash out. She heaved a laboured breath and shook her head disapprovingly.

“I hope you like tea.”

“I prefer coffee.”

“...Let me make you some tea.”

~_~_~_~_~

Charlie had mentioned the kitchens before, once the princess realized her guests were still out getting intoxicated after they'd left the building.

“There are no drugs allowed in the Hotel, you know that. And I won't encourage bad choices. But I understand you're adults and you will make your own decisions. So I ask that you at least take care of yourselves when you do. There's water in the kitchens, and snacks in the pantry downstairs for when you're hungover.”

Aside from the commissary kitchen on the first floor -which served the dining hall-, the hotel had a handful of kitchenettes and smaller cooking spaces scattered about.

On the seventh floor of the hotel was a smaller home kitchen, meant for personal use. A standard stove top, fridge, and sink. There was a stand mixer on the countertop. It was surrounded by measuring cups and bowls, looking as if the recipe had been abandoned halfway through.

A table lined the opposite wall. It was big enough for three chairs, one on each side of the table. Though, one of them was a high chair, shaped like a rubber duck. It was pulled out from the table and still had a bowl on the tray. A child's meal, interrupted.

On the fridge there were magnets, dozens of them from all around the Seven Rings, and even a couple from Earth. They held up photos of the Morningstars. Family trips, events, holidays. Memories upon memories of Hells rulers living their most domestic life.

Y/n hadn't realized this was their family kitchen. The couple of times she'd wandered through here for water, she had left the lights off and moved in the dark. And now, with the warm glow of the overhead light, she could see how lived-in the space was, and how everything looked as though it had been abandoned mid activity.

Alastor trailed behind her, silent for a change. He had gone quiet on their walk up to the kitchen. His hands were clasped behind his back and his eyes surveyed the room, sweeping over every little detail left untouched. When he lingered in the middle of the room, Y/n pulled out a chair, brushed the dust off the cushion, and gingerly offered him the seat.

He took it with a nod.

“So, if you don't mind me asking,” Y/n began as she rinsed a pot and put water on to boil. “Why cannibalism?” It came out more skeptical than she'd meant.

She had a general distrust of cannibals, it's true. Long ago, in her first couple years of being in Hell, she was targeted as a meal one day when she foolishly wandered the streets of Cannibal Town alone. It was purely her fault, she came to tell herself. Distracted by her own thoughts, if she had only paid more attention to her surroundings it might have been avoided. Y/n hoped Alastor didn't read too far into her wariness when it came to that particular population.

“What do you mean?” The Overlord asked.

“What made you…” Y/n’s ears flicked back, unsure how to put it lightly. “Want to eat people?”

The doe searched through the cabinets, looking for where the royal family might store their tea. She found a tin box with dark loose leaves of some kind. FireWort, read the plain front label. It didn't tell her much about the product aside from that. But the back label had instructions detailing how to steep the leaves. Another look in the cabinet and bingo- a mesh strainer and an assortment of mugs sat farther back on the shelf. She grabbed the tool and the most neutral looking cup, set it on the counter beside the now simmering water, then turned to the Overlord talking behind her.

“Well, I wasn't always like this,” Alastor leaned back, crossing his legs while considering her question. “When I'd heard stories of cannibalism before, I had always thought it was an issue of control. That those people simply lacked self restraint,” he hummed almost humorously. “But when I got to Hell, and took a look around at the rapist and the racists and found myself, an equal-opportunity murderer, among them. Well, I had a bit of an epiphany then.”

“And what was that?”

“It wasn't about lack of control. It's the opposite in fact. It's about freedom; doing what you want, inflicting your will over others, just because you can.”

Silence lingered between them as Y/n contemplated that perspective. Finally, she leaned back against the counter with crossed arms. “That's not freedom,” she scoffed bitterly. “That's power.”

He pointed at her enthusiastically. “Freedom to exercise power, yes exactly. So, you understand.”

“No,” Y/n couldn't help but shake her head as she turned back around with a frown. “No, I really don't think I do.”

Water splashed over the side of the mug as she poured it onto the strainer, the water bleeding orange a few seconds later. She scooped up the mug carefully and walked it toward The Radio Demon.

“So, 'freedom’ is why you cannibalize others,” she summed up simply.

Alastor accepted the mug with an unimpressed quirk of his brow. He brought it up to smell its earthy, spicy aroma and held it under his nose for a moment while he spoke.

“That, and the taste of flesh in gumbo is really quite spectacular,” he finished with a sip, unaffected by the scalding temperature.

Again, he wasn't particularly impressed. But at least he hadn't spat it out in her face and verbally assaulted her for it. And she would certainly take his second trial sip as a win.

“I will take your word for it,” she conceded with a victorious smirk.

“Now,” Alastor sat the mug down on the table between them. “You didn't really drag me up to this dingy kitchen just for tea, did you dearie?”

Y/n maintained his eye contact, trying to tell if he felt anything yet. If he did, he wasn't showing it. He seemed rather composed overall, and she thought back to how long it seemed to take the Vees to show signs of being under the influence of her blood. Longer than the average demon, she recalls that much. She suspected it had to do with their overlord status. Possibly their magic fighting off hers? It was an interesting concept to think about. But one thing was certain, the toxicity of her blood would win out in the end. It always did.

“Y’know,” the doe shrugged. “Being high is always more fun with company.”

What Y/n didn't know was that a steady chill had been creeping up the bucks legs. He brushed it off when he first felt it walking into the kitchen, thinking it was a result of being so close to the king's quarters, anticipation of poking around and all. But the chill was unmistakable now and the conversation was becoming arduous. And he refused to show it.

His eyes looked her up and down. Then he leaned in with a small, surreptitious tilt of his head, committed to keeping up his facade. “Surprised to say, I don't entirely mind your company either.”

Y/n decided not to read too much into the comment. “Uh-huh.” She suspected he hadn't caught on yet. “Let's get through tonight and you tell me if that's still true in the morning.”

“Now aren't you ambitious,” Alastor laughed lazily, suddenly sounding a bit tired. “Trying to spend your whole evening…” His words slowed and faltered. “...with...me?…”

Something in his eyes changed. It looked as if a thought had struck him out of the blue. And all of a sudden, Y/n could see the cogs turning in his head. His eyes darted back and forth and for a split second, he gave the faintest impression of a frightened animal.

That scared look was gone the instant his eyes found hers again.

“I need coffee.” His voice came clipped and curt.

Alright, Y/n cautioned herself. Here we go…

“Maybe we should stick with tea,” she suggested. “It's probably best you just sleep it off, y'know?”

The Radio Demon left no room for disagreement.

“Coffee. Now.”

The doe jumped to her feet, her ears pressed back cautiously. “O-okay, yeah.” She made for the cabinets. “Let me see what I can find…”

Looking at the cup, Alastor entertained the possibility that maybe she had poisoned it, or drugged it with something. Why, he wasn't sure. Maybe per orders of her boss. But Alastor had no direct quarrels with Valentino. It was Vox and his lackeys he really had to be concerned about. So what motivation would this obviously inferior demon have to make such a move on him.

Alastor pushed the drink away from him with a scowl.

He could feel it bubbling in his stomach and beneath his skin. His natural ear movements got harder and harder to restrain. They wanted to flick and twitch with each new vibration that thrummed through his chest, up his neck and out the tip of his antlers. He could feel his smile getting tense, strained against his cheeks. And worst of all? His tail. The base of his spine quivered, and the dreaded appendage damn near fluttered under his suit coat.

Y/n heard the scrape of his chair on the floor, but barely had a chance to move before she was forced to turn by his hand wrapped tightly around her neck.

Her yelp was smothered in her throat.

“You have five seconds to explain what you did to me, before I gut you nose to naval.”

He held firm, both in his hand and in his eye contact, not removing either until Y/n managed to tremble out a nod. And when she did, his hand slid from her neck to the back of her head where he grabbed hold of a fistful of her hair. To assert his authority, of course, and to keep her under his command. Though there was also something grounding about his hold on her. Not only did his legs feel unsteady beneath him, but his mind was foggy as well. Yet with his hand in her hair, he felt tethered, like a moored ship.

She swallowed thickly before speaking. “You did it to yourself.”

Alastor growled as he yanked back on her hair, just enough to brandish the delicate flesh of her neck to him.

“It's true!” Y/n flinched. “You should be careful whose blood you ingest…never know who might be tainted nowadays.”

“Tainted? With what?”

“I don't-” He bared his teeth as he pulled her in. “Some kind of toxin!” Y/n blurted quickly. “Valentino’s doctors say it has to do with the proteins in my blood or something- I don't remember! But, it won't kill you… you'll just be high as a kite for a few hours.”

Alastor could feel his lungs.

With every breath he took, it was as if they rattled in his chest, and he wanted to reach inside himself and pluck them out. He focused instead on Y/n’s heart beat. His frenzied eyes raked over her pulse point, just under her jaw. It fluttered there, keeping a steady rhythm, no faster than his own. He contemplated raising his clawed finger to her flesh and slicing. Thought the sight -and taste- of blood pouring from a wound might calm his increasingly troubled mind, and it probably would have. But he refrained, telling himself that it's best not to make a mess of the Princess Morningstar's kitchen… or guests, for that matter. He didn't want to end up on her bad side so soon…

And while that was all true, he also took in the information he was just given by the doe and decided he didn't want to be any higher than he already was. Although, he was quickly gathering that he might not have a say in that.

Alastor's vision blurred. And his head suddenly felt heavy, like a ten ton weight replaced his foggy brain. He blinked away the dizziness with a shake. But when he raised his gaze to interrogate Y/n further, his vision spiraled with color, and his words fell flat on his tongue.

Purple, pinks, blues, reds. A myriad of shapes and colors overlaid his sight and took his breath away.

His grip in her hair faltered.

The Overlord was buzzing -physically vibrating- as he tipped forward towards the doe. In a futile attempt to steady himself, he reached for the countertop ledge. Though he came up short and was surprised to find the hip of the demon in front of him instead. It wasn't ideal, and he just about tore himself away from her the instant he realized. Only, she didn't falter at his touch.

No, she straightened before him, and pushed back against his shoulders until he himself stood straight again. It was dizzying, and he instinctually contemplated snapping her wrists off and shoving them down her throat at the sensation of someone touching him.

But she helped him find his footing again.

So he begrudgingly let the hands be. Both hers on his shoulders and his own on her hip and in her hair.

Y/n had seen this all before. The slurred speech, the dazed look, the debilitating vertigo. A pattern she noticed among first time users -herself included. Even Valentino's first time had him teetering over her.

Just after discovering her special little secret, Valentino had left her bloodied and bruised in that dingy film studio, angry she had kept such valuable information from him. That very first day her boss got high off her blood was not one Y/n remembers fondly. But it's true, even the Overlord of sex and drugs struggled to stand upright and string together sentences after his first taste.

Her hands, still on Alastor's shoulders, slid to his chest to take his lapel.

“Okay.” She gave his coat a sharp tug to bring his attention to her. “I know it's a lot,” she cooed, mustering patience she didn't realize she had. His head lolled upright, slow and lazy as his eyes blinked open, unfocused but trying oh-so hard. “Let's just find you your room and get you comfortable, yeah?”

Y/n watched his face, making sure he heard her. His brows scrunched together for a moment and, coupled with his tense grin, it looked like a pained grimace crossed his face. But he nodded through it. And if that wasn't signal enough, The Radio Demon's ears flicked harshly against his antlers.

Y/n sighed quietly in relief.

She turned them around and began guiding him toward the hall, tea and coffee forgotten. Alastor's feet dragged while Y/n got them to the doorway, flipping the lights off as she crossed the threshold.

The buck stopped dead in his tracks behind her.

Alastor really, really, wanted to eviscerate the woman holding his hand right now. She'd made him endure her attitude, her touch, and whatever the hell this intoxication was. Now she intends to parade him through the hotel like some show horse. He refused to allow that.

Y/n spun to face him -to reassure him- and was cut short when shadows suddenly grew around her. The dim hallway light that she intended to use as a guide back to the main residential floor, as well as the dark kitchen they had just come from, all faded instantaneously and the only thing she could see was a teetering Alastor in front of her.

Now her world spun. It felt like she was tumbling and falling through the air and she lurched to find the floor beneath her. Just before her knees gave out, the world rematerialized around her.

The hallway was longer and brighter, and much more familiar than the one she had just been in. She and Alastor were still straddling another door frame, this time with a door. It opened up into a pitch black room.

The darkness shrouded Alastor like a thick blanket. It hugged his shoulders, waist, hips, and swallowed him slowly until his glowing eyes were the only thing she could really see anymore. His eyes- and something else that glowed yellow-green, flickering lazily in the near distance behind him.

“Shadow travel. Cool.” She squinted to get a better look over his shoulder. “Look, maybe don't do that again until you're sober, okay. I don't doubt your abilities. I just-” The door slammed sharply in her face. Y/n blinked through the annoyance of being denied- and ignored. “I just don't trust mine.”

The doe stood outside the closed door for a moment and thought maybe she should stick around. To make sure he would be alright. To be sure everyone else wasn't in imminent danger. Though mostly, she was just curious to see more of the incapacitated Radio Overlord. His ear flicks from moments before were as equally endearing as they were concerning. And it was always quite the sight, seeing such powerful beings so vulnerable.

She quickly decided it wasn't worth loitering around in the open hallway for. Besides, there were only a few short hours left before she had to leave for work, and the adrenaline of the past couple minutes was wearing off. She was absolutely beat.

Y/n backed away from the door with a sigh, ready to make her way down the hallway towards her own room, when a shadow darted hurriedly across her path. Ears similar to hers, but parted by a pair of antlers. This shadow wasn't hers.

She froze, watched and waited. It only grinned at her.

Y/n blinked back.

“I'm going to sleep. I suggest you try and do the same.”

With an apologetic smile, the doe turned and finally made her way down the hallway, the grinning shadow looming close behind her.

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N- idk what it is but i LOVE writing my faves getting fUCKED up. anywhoooo, i wanna be so completely honest, these next few chapters are probably gonna take longer to write cause its going to be a lot of figuring out how/where my story's plotline lines up with the HH one. that being said, im SO FUCKING EXCITED for how this story is going to play out cause i got so many ideas, im just figuring out how to properly set us up for it all :D

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Masterlist :)

#hazbin fanfic #hazbin angst #hazbin hotel #hazbin reader insert #hazbin angel dust #hazbin alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin valentino #angel dust x reader #hurt/comfort #songfic #Youtube

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gameofdrarry · 5 years ago

Text

Wizards Hearts Recs: Memory Loss

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 Twist of Fate by Oakstone730 Rated: Teen and Up Words: 302209 Tags: Canon up until Epilogue, Triwizard, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Redemption, Forgiveness, Angst, Memory Loss, Secret Relationships, obliviate, secret boyfriends Summary: Draco asks Harry to help him beat the Imperius curse during 4th year. The lessons turn into more than either expected. A story of redemption and forgiveness. Pairings: HP/DM (Slash) Timeframe: 1994-2002 Goblet to 4 yrs post-DH EWE Rating T for language, high angst, content. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Four Doors by fluxweed Rated: Explicit Words: 48845 Tags: Mind Healer Draco Malfoy, Legilimency (Harry Potter), Memory Loss, Memory Magic, Sexual Fantasy, Masturbation, Power Imbalance, Auror Harry Potter, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Dubious Consent Due To Patient/Healer Dynamic, Mind Fucking (Literally), Not Epilogue Compliant, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE Summary: It’s been four months since Harry lost his memory. Four months of dead ends and no answers. With time running out until his memories are gone for good, Harry agrees to a course of Legilimency therapy with a renowned specialist: Mind Healer Draco Malfoy. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 remember me by hupsoonheng Rated: Teen and Up Words: 31082 Tags: Amnesia, Temporary Amnesia, Obliviation, Established Relationship, Established Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Legilimency, Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Reformed Draco Malfoy, POV Draco Malfoy, Good Draco Malfoy, Gardens & Gardening, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, POV Harry Potter Summary: On a chilly day in October, Draco kisses Harry goodbye before he goes on yet another dangerous, undercover mission with the Aurors. And then Harry doesn't come back. Only Draco believes that Harry isn't dead, and pours himself into finding his husband despite his friends' pleas to move on and grieve properly. What he finds at the end of that work, though, is not at all what he wanted. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Like Clockwork by agentmoppet Rated: Explicit Words: 39374 Tags: Memory Loss, Unspeakable Harry Potter, Curse Breaker Draco Malfoy, Dream Spells, UST, RST, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Switching, Banter, Bickering, Case Fic, Pining, Community: hd_erised, Miscommunication, Drinking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley Summary: Draco has never been very good at trusting others, and Potter is no exception. But if they're going to survive this, they need to accept that they're holding each other's lives in their hands, and--worst of all--they're going to have to work together. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Of Fates Entwined: A Story of Love Lost and Found by taradiane Rated: Explicit Words: 51517 Tags: Romance, Memory Loss, Kidnapping, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Harry Potter vanished without a trace from his home on a warm summer morning in June 2004. This is the story of how a random visit in a cafe on the other side of the world, six years later, proved that the ties which entwine our fates together can never be broken. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 while you were away by GhostGrrl Rated: Explicit Words: 3420 Tags: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Kinda:), Memory Loss, Falling In Love, Dirty Talk, Anal Sex, Drugs, References to Depression Summary: Harry loses his memory in the spring. Draco loves him through it. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Misplaced Memories by Dacro Rated: Explicit Words: 38749 Tags: Memory Loss, Attempted Kidnapping, Established Relationship, St Mungo's Hospital, Auror Harry, Healer Draco, Dirty Talk, Semi-Public Sex, Grief/Mourning, Mystery, Injury Recovery, Same-Sex Marriage, Hair-pulling, Dream Sex, Wedding Rings Summary: Harry is hit by an unknown curse and loses eighteen years of his memories. When he wakes up, he doesn't remember magic, Hogwarts or that he's happily married to a former Death Eater. Draco struggles to adapt to the changes and tries to help Harry retrieve his memories without causing further damage. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Nothing, Everything by SasuNarufan13 Rated: Mature Words: 76088 Tags: Draco's POV, Established slash, Doesn't follow the epilogue, Mpreg, Angst, a lot of it, Implied Violence, Memory Loss, Drama, Draco acts like a real arsehole for a good part of the story, birthday fic, angst but with a happy ending, References to Minor Character Death, Torture, Implied mature content, Brief reference to threat of rape in the past Summary: Draco didn't sign up for this. Except, well, he did. He just can't remember it. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Saint (gift four) by crazyparakiss Rated: Mature Words: 5300 Tags: Mpreg, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Draco digs his fingers into the thick cable-knit of Potter’s cream jumper, drawing him closer. Kissing the stranger wearing his lover’s face. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Dust of Water by Lomonaaeren Rated: Mature Words: 144015 Tags: Amnesia, Angst, Drama, Romance Summary: As far as Harry’s concerned, he’s woken from a weirdly deep sleep the day after the Battle of Hogwarts. It’s his friends who tell him that it’s ten years later, that he’s an Auror who got cursed while chasing a Dark wizard—and that his memory isn’t going to come back. Updated every Saturday. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 UnKnown by DorthyAnn Rated: Mature Words: 22488 Tags: Bullying, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Self Destructive Behaviour, Ostracism, lying, lying by omission, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Memory Loss, Memory Alteration, Loneliness, That feeling of being in a room full of people you know and being completely and utterly alone, H/D Hurt!Fest 2020, Power Imbalance Summary: Draco just wanted a second chance, he was willing to work hard, he was willing to do whatever it took, but no one would let him live down his past. But when he recklessly casts a spell promising a new life, he's not prepared for the consequences... ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia Rated: Teen and Up Words: 18240 Tags: Amnesia, Angst, Established Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, plenty of pining, a touch of infidelity but not between Harry and Draco, Hurt/Comfort, Draco and Ginny are best friends, Oneshot Summary: When Harry gets amnesia and forgets he and Draco were ever married, he refuses treatment to remember. Inspired by an EXCELLENT fic by hupsoonheng called Remember Me. You don't need to have read it to understand this, but tbh you should just do yourself a favour and read it anyway. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Adrift by dysonrules Rated: Mature Words: 13568 Tags: Pirates, Alternate Universe, EWE, Romance Summary: Auror Harry takes a vacation in the Caribbean and ends up falling from the sky, straight into the lap of Draco Malfoy, modern pirate. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Hidden in Plain Sight by Momatu Rated: Explicit Words: 56686 Tags: HP: EWE, Slash, Romance, Some Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Drama Summary: Set four years after the Battle of Hogwarts, three years after Draco was abducted by person or persons unknown. Draco is now living in a small Muggle community and working in a library with no idea the Wizarding World exists, until one day, a bloke with a mop of just-shagged black hair comes in for storytime with a little boy to get out of the rain. Featured Book: Muggles Who Notice ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Just Another Recollection by mishaphappens Rated: Mature Words: 13222 Tags: Memory Loss, Magic, Memory Magic, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Future Fic, Pensieves, Angst and Humor Summary: Draco’s short-term memory is destroyed from Harry’s dueling spell, causing him to wake up every morning like it’s just the next day. When, in fact, it has been three years. We come in on the morning that Draco wakes up early and finds a Mister Harry Potter in his bed... ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 In Loco Parentis by Phoenixstrike Rated: Explicit Words: 46797 Tags: Rape/Non-Con, Male Slash, Explicit Sexual Content, Rape/Non-con References, Original Character Death(s) Summary: Five years ago Draco Malfoy and his wife were kidnapped, and nothing has been heard or seen of the pair since. It's been so long that Draco is presumed dead. Harry dotes on Draco's son, Scorpius, with whom he has been living. But when it turns out Malfoy isn't quite as dead as everyone assumed, Harry's life is turned upside-down. Set after Deathly Hallows and ignores epilogue. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Heaven Through a Window by JocundaSykes Rated: Explicit Words: 81,211 Tags: Non-Canonical Post-War Timeline, POV Draco Malfoy, Ensemble Cast, Healer Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Pining, Slow Burn, Falling In Love, Snogging on Benches, Explicit Sexual Content, Sock Garters, Accidental Harry Acquisition, no infidelity, No character bashing, Obliviator Pansy Parkinson, Dysfunctional Family, Harry Potter Partially Epilogue Compliant, H/D Erised 2020, Drinking, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism (Not Harry/Draco), Smoking, Consensual Legilimency, Implied/Referenced Dieting, Memory Loss, Memory Charm | Obliviate (Harry Potter), Additional Warnings In Author's Note Summary: Life is going swimmingly for Draco: he’s a respected Healer, his son is excellent in every way, and none of his patients have died recently. Then he gets landed with Perfect Potter and his hordes of stupid friends. It’s intolerable. But the more time Draco spends with the lonely boy from Surrey, the more he believes that there might be a hero within us all. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Partners by DeiStarr Rated: Teen and Up Words: 1,530 Tags: Slash, Male Slash, Gay Male Character, Romance, Memory Loss, Hurt/Comfort, HP: EWE, Auror Partners, Auror Harry, Auror Draco, Denial, Denial of Feelings Summary: Draco and Harry are Auror partners and have been for years. Harry does not have a crush on Draco; he just doesn't. Then one day he gets into an accident... ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 (leave me with) a foggy mind by p1013 Rated: Explicit Words: 4739 Tags: Heavy Drinking, Memory Loss, Confessions, Embarrassment, Porn with Feelings, Love Bites, Hands, Couch Sex, Anal Sex, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Dubious Consent, tagging dub con for not remembering the night before Summary: Draco's halfway through a sip of some ridiculously named and priced mixed drink when Pansy says, as casual as someone commenting on the weather, "I think that's Harry Potter in the corner." ❤️ Read on AO3

#wizards hearts #drarry recs #drarry #wh masterlist #game of drarry

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purplesunrisefanfic · 5 years ago

Note

Would you be willing to share a couple of YOUR Abby fantasies with us, your adoring, always horny, Abby simping fans?

Sure! And thank you, this was a fun ask ❤️💕💪

Abby Sexual Fantasties

(Abby/reader OR a mixture of Abby/author and Abby/GN!reader)

Fair warning, my fantasies are even more high-key kinky than my fics so major warning for very graphic and explicit sexual content, hardcore BDSM and arguable edgeplay. Also, as far I’m concerned Abby switches, don’t @ me about your HCs that she’s a rigid “top” or whatever else, @ me about your graphic sexual fantasies of Abby instead. 😈

I don’t want to warn in detail and thereby effectively imply I have caught everything that might need a warning because I fear I will miss something, so anyone who has specific triggers, please inbox me the specifics (Anon is on) and I’ll reply either saying this post is fine or with a redacted version suitable for you personally. And please do ask, I’m happy to help with this stuff. 💛

Gender and Bodies Note: I have written this in two different formats. The first was using “you” so it’s easier to reader-insert but the “you” is based on my fantasies, ie me and the body I have. I’m AFAB (and not knowingly intersex) with my original layout/plumbing and am comfortable with all the sex options my body has available. As far as I’m aware I don’t reference anything that couldn’t work the same for someone who has had a vaginoplasty, except that I talk about getting extremely wet beyond what might be possible for many vagina-havers. Maybe even most other vagina-havers tbh, bc I have a noted ability to get soaked way beyond what most people who self-lubricate can. It’s actually partly a coping thing that it so regularly features in my fantasies tbh because it helps to think of it in sexy way when the actual reality is that trying to get off is often like trying to build up friction on a freakin’ slip n’ slide! 😂

If you don’t want to read a “you” with such characteristics, scroll down and I’ll rewrite the necessary sections with an “I” so you can read these with an author-insert instead of a reader-insert. Look for a line made of emojis.

Reminder: App/mobile site = no read more breaks, don’t @ me, @ Tumblr bc it annoys the eff outta me too! (Tumblr, if you’re listening, please please fix this shite ASAP.)

Abby/Reader version (Warning: This version is body-specific):

Assuming, which I do, that @pinkchubbiebunnie is correct that Abby cannon has a hairpulling kink, (well spotted and much appreciated detail btw, thank you, Tanisha! Hope you enjoy these as well they seem like your sort of thing too 😍) Tying up Abby’s wrists with rope then braiding the rope into her hair and tying the rope onto her braid so that every time she’s overwhelmed with desire and starts to struggle against the rope it pulls her hair and teases her some more. Edging her like that until she breaks, her face covered in sweat while she pleads for release. Once you give it to her, you don’t stop and she struggles again when she becomes overwhelmed with pleasure, but struggling pulls on her hair again which intensifies the overstimulation. Tears in her eyes, she pleads for you to stop (but doesn’t actually safeword) so you offer/remind her that she can safeword. She breaks eye contact, her already flushed face starts burning and she shakes her head. You tilt her head back up, forcing eye contact. “So you don’t really want me to stop?” you question her evilly, just to make her say that she does want you to stop, but she doesn’t want you to have to do what she wants, she wants you free to ignore her. Her lip trembles when she tells you to use her how you please, breaking off mid-sentence to whimper, utterly overwhelmed because you haven’t let up on her clit this whole time. You make her come once more, and she finishes up an absolute mess. You think you ought to stop there, and lay off touching her further, until she softly asks you, in a small voice with pleasing eyes, to put on her strap and fuck her with that because she feels desperately empty after all that stimulation.

Flip-side: Her and Manny are ultimate bros and ultimate dom bros. You’re in a lifestyle BDSM situation with her and have to get yourself used to the fact that she’ll spank you in her shared apartment whenever you deserve it, whether Manny is around or not. Equally, you see some of Manny’s poly rotation facing the same from time-to-time. You don’t have orgies or even have sex when Manny is there (or vice versa) but they both feel discipline can’t wait. He’s respectful and super discreet about it, which low-key feels nice/destigmatising but high-key feels embarrassing as hell that he sees this stuff without ever bringing it up in conversation with you. You always wonder if part of his charismatic grin is teasing you that he knows what the “special necklace” you always wear really means. Oh, and between her muscles and her hands which are calloused from all the physical and soldier work, she can spank you hard and long without needing a paddle.

She’s figured out how to pack discreetly with something firm enough to fuck you with, and when you patrol together she’ll take any opportunity to give you a taste. She never lets you orgasm while you’re out and makes sure you’re always walking around soaked through your clothes and grateful your trousers don’t show an obvious colour difference. She always eats her supper (“supper” = British for evening meal.*) super slowly on those days. Anytime you seem like you might be relaxing during the meal or becoming less needy, she makes suggestive eye contact and squeezes one of your thighs between hers under the table, letting you feel the toy between her legs so she’s sure you don’t get a break from feeling desperate for her. You end up having all your patrol group believing your old minor knee injury (which doesn’t really cause you any proper trouble) always gets painful towards the end of patrol days because you always blame that for why you get noticeably quiet and jumpy by the end of a patrol day.

She’ll play really sadistically if you ask her to. (Content warning: this is about to get into the details of that). With that, she won’t use any bondage, just her raw ability to overpower you without even breaking out in a sweat. She’ll pinch and pull at your nipples, grab you by your hair and drag you around. She’ll absolutely cover your thighs in hickeys (and you tend to have to bite hard to leave a mark on a thigh) on the way to going down on you. She keeps her nails short for practical reasons, but she knows how to grab you and angle her fingers so you feel her nails sink into anyway. She picked up enough medical knowledge that she knows where and how she can safely hurt you. Abby can control herself and her voice so you get her steeliest tone and expression while she makes you scream and cry. That type of treatment makes your clit swell like hell and you get so wet from it that it’s obvious and embarrassing. And Abby loves to make that worse by drawing attention to how wet it makes you, taunting you about how much you like her brutal treatment. She’ll sometimes slip her fingers inside just to be able to coat them in your juices so she can smear them over your body. Smirking, she’ll coo about how you’ll let her do whatever the fuck she wants with you. If she feels like using her strap on, she’ll slip it inside you briefly at first, only to pull it out, shove you to your knees and make you suck it spotlessly clean of your own taste before she’ll consider actually fucking you with it. Afterwards, she cleans you up gently and tends to any little injuries (she never does anything dangerous). She’s takes hold of you a little possessively, reminding you that no one but her gets to treat you like that, and she’d kill anyone who tried. Then she showers you with love and praise, holding you protectively until you fall asleep.

💜💪💜💪💜💪💜💪💜💪💜💪💜💪💜💪💜💪💜💪💜💪💜💪

Abby/GN! Reader & Abby/Author version:

(Still uses “you” with one alteration to the original) Assuming, which I do that @pinkchubbiebunnie is correct that Abby cannon has a hairpulling kink, (well spotted and much appreciated detail btw, thank you, Tanisha!) Tying up Abby’s wrists with rope then braiding the rope into her hair and tying the rope onto her braid so that every time she’s overwhelmed with desire and starts to struggle against the rope it pulls her hair and teases her some more. Edging her like that until she breaks, her face covered in sweat while she pleads for release. Once you give it to her, you don’t stop and she struggles again when she becomes overwhelmed with pleasure, but struggling pulls on her hair again which intensifies the overstimulation. Tears in her eyes, she pleads for you to stop (but doesn’t actually safeword) so you offer/remind her that she can safeword. She breaks eye contact, her already flushed face starts burning and she shakes her head. You tilt her head back up, forcing eye contact. “So you don’t really want me to stop?” you question her evilly, just to make her say that she does want you to stop, but she doesn’t want you to have to do what she wants, she wants you free to ignore her. Her lip trembles when she tells you to use her how you please, breaking off mid-sentence to whimper, utterly overwhelmed because you haven’t let up on her clit this whole time. You make her come once more, and she finishes up an absolute mess. You think you ought to stop there, and lay off touching her further, until she softly asks you, in a small voice with pleasing eyes, to please use your fingers or whatever else you want to penetrate her because she feels desperately empty after all that stimulation.

(Unaltered from “you”/reader-insert bc no body-specifics) Flip-side: Her and Manny are ultimate bros and ultimate dom bros. You’re in a lifestyle BDSM situation with her and have to get yourself used to the fact that she’ll spank you in her shared apartment whenever you deserve it, whether Manny is around or not. Equally, you see some of Manny’s poly rotation facing the same from time-to-time. You don’t have orgies or even have sex when Manny is there (or vice versa) but they both feel discipline can’t wait. He’s respectful and super discreet about it, which low-key feels nice/destigmatising but high-key feels embarrassing as hell that he sees this stuff without ever bringing it up in conversation with you. You always wonder if part of his charismatic grin is teasing you that he knows what the “special necklace” you always wear really means. Oh, and between her muscles and her hands which are calloused from all the physical and soldier work, she can spank hard and long without needing a paddle.

She’s figured out how to pack discreetly with something firm enough to fuck me with, and when we patrol together she’ll take any opportunity to give me a taste. She never lets me orgasm while we’re out and makes sure I’m always walking around soaked through my clothes and grateful my trousers don’t show an obvious colour difference. She always eats her supper (“supper” = British for evening meal.*) super slowly on those days. Anytime I seem like I might be relaxing during the meal or becoming less needy, she makes suggestive eye contact and squeezes one of my thighs between hers under the table, letting me feel the toy between her legs so she’s sure I don’t get a break from feeling desperate for her. I end up having all our patrol group believing my old minor knee injury (which doesn’t really cause me any proper trouble) always gets painful towards the end of patrol days because I always blame that for why I get noticeably quiet and jumpy by the end of a patrol day.

She’ll play really sadistically if I ask her to. (Content warning: this is about to get into the details of that). With that, she won’t use any bondage, just her raw ability to overpower me without even breaking out in a sweat. She’ll pinch and pull at my nipples, grab me by my hair and drag my around. She’ll absolutely cover my thighs in hickeys (and you tend to have to bite hard to leave a mark on a thigh) on the way to going down on me. She keeps her nails short for practical reasons, but she knows how to grab me and angle her fingers so I feel her nails sink into anyway. She picked up enough medical knowledge that she knows where and how she can safely hurt me. Abby can control herself and her voice so I get her steeliest tone and expression while she makes me scream and cry. That type of treatment makes my clit swell like hell and I get so wet from it that it’s obvious and embarrassing. And Abby loves to make that worse by drawing attention to how wet it makes me, taunting me about how much I like her brutal treatment. She’ll sometimes slip her fingers inside just to be able to coat them in my juices so she can smear them over my body. Smirking, she’ll coo about how I’ll let her do whatever the fuck she wants with me. If she feels like using her strap on, she’ll slip it inside me briefly at first, only to pull it out, shove me to my knees and make me suck it spotlessly clean of my own taste before she’ll consider actually fucking me with it. Afterwards, she cleans me up gently and tends to any little injuries (she never does anything dangerous). She takes hold of me a little possessively, reminding me that no one but her gets to treat me like that, and she’d kill anyone who tried. Then she showers me with love and praise, holding me protectively until I fall asleep.

*While we’re on this subject, beware using the term “dinner” with Brits bc it’s a different meal in different regions. Somewhere like Newcastle, dinner = lunch whereas in London dinner = evening meal. 🤷‍♀️ We’re a weird country on many counts, that’s the tip of the iceberg.

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby x reader #abby tlou #tlou2 abby #tlou fanfic #the last of us fanfic #my fic #my fics #well they’re kinda fics so for ease of filing #cw

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katehuntington · 6 years ago

Text

Title: Ride With Me (part thirteen) Fandom: Supernatural AU Characters series: Reader, Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Ellen Singer-Harvelle, Jo Singer (Harvelle), Benny Lafitte, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Ash Miller, Castiel Novek, and many more. Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: ±6350 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part thirteen: The six mile ride to find water is a long one, exhausting the wranglers. When they finally reach the river, Dean and Y/N find a lot more than just that. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: ‘I Will Carry You’ - Carter Burwell (opening scene), ‘All The Wild Horses’ - Ray LaMontagne (Dean & Y/N final scene). Check out ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: Thank you @kittenofdoomage and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettishfor helping me. You girls are awesome betas. Thank you for your endless patience!

Ride With Me Masterlist

“Here.” A water flask moves into her peripheral vision, pulling Y/N back from a hazy daydream. It’s past five PM, but it’s at least 90 degrees, the high temperatures lingering. The heat is dry, not the kind that is oppressive and makes it hard to breathe, but more torrid. Crippling nonetheless, especially for someone who is used to chilly autumns and cold winters. Her fatigued body was aching when they were standing at the junction hours ago, but Y/N didn’t want to be the one to call it quits. She still feels the pressure to prove herself, to her dad, to Dean and Bobby, to herself. So she kept her mouth shut. Now it seems stupid, because she isn’t feeling well.

Heavy eyes glide up the arm extended to her, meeting Dean’s handsome face, shaded by his Western hat. It’s clear that he’s concerned for her. “That’s yours,” she objects. “I’ve got some left.” “No, you don’t. You emptied it over an hour ago,” he knows, motioning her to take the bottle. Y/N huffs; looks like someone has been keeping an eye on her. Dean isn’t going to take no for an answer. “You gotta to stay hydrated, or this heat will take you down,” the wrangler pressures. “You’re not used to these circumstances.” “I’ve been here for over a month, Dean. I think I’m used to the climate by now,” she counters stubborn, even though she knows better. The cowboy eyes her sternly, but can’t stop the corner of his mouth from twitching in a smile. Hardheaded? Y/N? Where did he ever get that idea? “Are you gonna drink it, or what?” he half asks, half tells her. Reluctant the cowgirl takes the water, but hesitates before she lifts it to her mouth. “What about you?” “I’m alright,” he assures. Before she has a sip, Y/N takes in the cowboy. Dust has covered his arms and his neck with a thin layer, the tiny particles sticking to his sweaty skin. His bandaged hand rests on the horn of the saddle, but other than the minor injury, nothing indicates that the long journey in extreme conditions is getting to him. He must be thirsty too, but he looks alert and healthy, which she surely does not.

Y/N quickly counts the number of hours she has been in the saddle; close to eleven. The long trail under the merciless sun is taking its toll. Dean knows it, even Joplin does, because the mare has reduced her pace significantly, getting her cargo safely across the land, while before she was hard to keep up with. Her rider is glad she slowed down and took the wheel, because she is not in the mood to repeatedly ask the dark little horse to ease. Every now and then, Y/N feels like she could faint, a wave of dizziness almost washing the female wrangler off her horse. Gosh, she wishes it was actual waves. She would do anything for a drop of rain right now. For a second she fantasizes about a nice bubble bath, or a shower even. She would do anything for a cool shower.

She swallows down the water, leaving some for the wrangler next to her. With worry puckered on his forehead, he observes her intently. It doesn’t go unnoticed, because a scoff erupts from her sore throat. “I’m fine,” she assures him. “I’m just tired and a little sore, that’s all.” But Dean isn’t convinced. Pondering he glances ahead, watching Benny and the other three riders. His Southern friend is making easy conversation and it seems like Macy and Brad are handling themselves, but Jon looks like he’s going on fumes. “We should’ve gone back,” he mumbles, second guessing his decision. “What? And return to the ranch without the horses?” she queries, resting her free hand on her thigh. “We had to make the jump, Dean. Rather on the second day than later. Plus, you said it yourself: find the water, find the herd.” Ted’s rider looks aside, the muscles of his jaw tensing as he averts his eyes again. He did tell her that, but he has trouble trusting his own words. Running low on water could have disastrous consequences in the desert. Having enough of it while on a trail is one of the first essentials. What if they get stranded? What if one of the horses suffers a more severe injury than Cash already did?

“How much longer?” Y/N didn’t mean the words to come out pleading, but when Dean returns her gaze sympathetically, she realizes how desperate she sounded. He then glances at the volcanic landscape around him, determining their position. With Battleship Mountain on his left and the entrance of Boulder Canyon straight up ahead, it can’t be more than a mile. “We’re almost there,” he reassures her. “I promise.” She nods, but her smile isn’t sincere. Everything other than ‘we’ll be there in five minutes’ is too long. Dean seems to be able to read her mind, however. “We can go for a swim once we get there,” he adds. Now Y/N does look up, her interest peaked. “A swim?” “Hm-hm. Where we’re headin’ isn’t just a little stream. There is water there the whole year round. So if you want, we can go for a swim.” He smiles at her. God, that sounds heavenly. She looks forward to it already, although a question rises almost instantly. She can’t go swimming in her jeans, so that means the cowboy is going to see her, all of her. Insecure she smiles back at him, trying not to let her self-consciousness stand in the way. “Don’t wait up for me; if you want to lead the group, go ahead. I’ll catch up.” She changes the subject, nodding at the six horses about forty yards up front. He shrugs, shaking his head lightly and dismissing her suggestion. “Benny will manage. I’d rather be riding next to you.”

And so he stays by her side as they descend into the narrow canyon, the trail getting steep. She lets Joplin choose the path, trusting the agile horse with bringing her down the slope. They drop several hundred feet in a short amount of time, Dean on her tail the entire time, making sure she will arrive at the river safely. Then the path evens out, a plateau hanging over a cliff seems to be the end of the line. The other wranglers halt at the edge, the moral lifting at the sight. Curious Y/N rides up to join them, when she spots it. In the middle of the dramatic landscape with intimidating rock formations, which cast long shadows over the land as the sun hangs low in the west, an oasis of green frames the riverbed. Crystal clear water runs through the La Barge Creek into Canyon Lake. Salt River snakes through the landscape to their east. They made it. They finally made it. After a long and stressful day in the saddle, they can finally recharge. “Boys and girls, welcome to Eagle’s Nest,” Benny announces, a wide grin on his face.

Y/N lets a deep sigh slip from her lips, just the image before her having her feel a little bit lighter already. She smiles at Dean, who mimics her expression, clearly relieved that it all worked out. The head wrangler is the first one to ride down the hill, the rest of the company in his wake. About a hundred yards from the water he stops Ted. “Set up camp here?” Benny assumes. Dean nods. “Let’s make it quick, before we run out of light.” He dismounts his horse, slightly stiffer than he did yesterday; even the experienced trail rider is feeling this one deep in his muscles. Y/N does the same and she lands on the rocky surface with a thud, her feet tingling. Walking seems almost foreign, the first few steps a little unsteady, a sensation similar to having sea legs. Her supervisor hands her Ted. “You can take the horses to drink first,” he lets his eyes glide from Y/N to Macy and Jon, who looks like he is in no shape to help set up camp. The women nod and get to it, taking over the other horses as well, figuring the sooner the evening chores are done, the sooner they can put their feet up.

All eight horses eagerly walk further down the slope and step into the creek while putting their lips to the surface. Joplin almost drains the lake, her ears ticking forward with each gulp. Y/N chuckles at her eagerness, as she takes her flask from her saddlebag and fills it up. Jon throws water into his face, a delighted sigh escaping him as he freshens up, Macy following his example. “I’ve never appreciated water so much,” he claims. “I will never take it for granted again.” “You and the water need a room?” Macy nags, splashing water at her friend, who returns the favor. Y/N watches them banter, taking a long swig from her bottle, emptying almost three quarters in one go. The cold water runs down her throat and for a moment she feels a little uneasy, but then the fluid settles in her stomach. God, she was thirsty. Maybe even dehydrated, in combination with the relentless heat. But after a few more sips, she feels a lot better. Refilling her flask again, she straightens her back, looking up at the plateau where Dean, Benny and Brad are setting up the tents in record time. She walks around Joplin to the head wrangler’s horse, taking his bottle and filling it up as well. Having done the same for the other two wranglers, she takes Joplin and Ted to the camp, giving out water.

“You’re a frickin’ lifesaver. Thanks, darlin’,” Benny compliments, taking his bottle gladly. After handing Brad’s flask back, she walks up to Dean, who is setting up a paddock for the horses. He doesn’t notice her until she’s right behind him; without thinking about it, she lays her hand on his strong biceps to get his attention. The wrangler turns around surprised, meeting her soft smile. She holds the water bottle up, his eyes bouncing from her to the refreshment, looking at it with the same want. Gratefully he takes the flask, his fingers brushing over hers in the exchange, before he twists the cap off and takes three, four, five swigs. He lets a contented ‘ahh’ slip from his lips, breathing out relieved. Y/N tries not to stare, but it’s like she’s under hypnosis. Those same lips were on hers last night, and she has to admit she wants that again. She needs to retain herself, though, because Brad and Benny are setting up the third tent next to them.

Dean lowers the bottle, catching her slightly lowered jaw and hungry eyes. He smirks, his emerald greens twinkling as he wets his dry lips. Then he tucks his chin down, looking deep into her eyes while his darken a little. It seems like it’s only then that she realizes she is gaping and the blood rushes to her face. She breaks eye contact, smiling at her feet sheepishly. Oh, he knows exactly what he is doing. After gathering her confidence, she looks up to meet his gaze, the playful smirk back on his lips. Something in the air has changed. The nerves have dissolved, together with the doubt. There is no question if they both feel attracted to each other, but rather when the pull between them grows too strong to resist. The silent moment of sexual tension lasts a couple of solid seconds, before Dean is called over by Brad to help him out. As he walks past Y/N, he holds her gaze and lets his fingertips brush her forearm. It leaves her skin sensitive, goosebumps running up, despite the fact that the temperature is nowhere near chilly.

Within ten minutes the camp is ready for occupation. The horses calmly chew on their hay and scavenge for grass and twigs in the makeshift paddock. Despite the long day, none of them are visibly tired. Not even Cash, who seems to have forgotten about the whole snake bite incident. “Who wants to go swimmin’?” Y/N puts down the last stone and closes the circle of the firepit, only looking up when she dusts off her hands. Benny has already shed his shirt, unzipping his pants now with no shame whatsoever. Stunned she stares at him, then quickly averts her eyes. “Hell yes! I’ve been looking forward to diving into that creek ever since I laid eyes on it,” Jon muses, his appreciation for water still not faltering.

The intern’s gaze lingers on Brad and Jon now; one kicking off his boots, the other unbuckling his belt. Even Macy follows without a second thought. The female guest notices Y/N’s hesitation, because she shrugs as she slips her denim jeans from her hips. “No different than a bikini, right?” she comments carefree. Macy has a point, it doesn’t ease Y/N’s nerves, though. Of course it’s not skinny dipping, but she still feels uncomfortable exposing so much skin. She glances at Dean, who leaves his hat on the corner pole of one of the tents. For a second she freezes as he unbuckles his belt, realizing there’s something else she hasn’t considered. Seeing Dean in nothing but his underwear might just be a bit too much for her to handle. “Last one down takes the night’s watch!” The broad shouldered farrier descends down the hill - only wearing his form fitting boxer briefs - with the guests in tow. Brad chases his sister, who squeals as she tries to stay out of reach, running into the water in her red bra and striped boy shorts. She doesn’t seem to care about how she looks. Y/N gulps as she watches her, wishing she had that kind of confidence. “You comin’ or do you need my help undressin’?” She jumps when she feels Dean’s hand on her hip and turns around. He stripped from his clothes, only wearing a pair of grey boxers. Dear Lord, he looks amazing. Last time she saw him shirtless, it was the morning of her first day on the job. He was freshly showered then, his hair fluffy. Now it is fixed with traces of gel, pushed up again when he ran his hand through it earlier, after his hat flattened the light brown strands. Dirt and dust have mixed with the sweat that the heat surfaced, adding to the tan lines on his arms and neck. She swallows with difficulty and tears her eyes from his toned chest up to his evergreen eyes. The wrangler senses her discomfort, because he narrows his eyes at her slightly, the trademark smirk dying down. She knows that he was joking about the undressing part, right? “You okay?” he checks. “Yeah, yeah. I’m - I’m fine,” she assures, faking a smile. “I’ll be down in a minute.” Dean holds her gaze for a second, trying to read her. Not sure if he made her feel uncomfortable, he lets his hand slip from her waist and decides against the quick kiss he was going to leave on her lips; he doesn’t want to push her. His expression is soft now, letting her know that it’s okay if she needs time. “Alright,” he returns, leaving it at that. He walks past her towards the water, the sounds of splashing and laughter welcoming him. Taking a deep breath, Y/N closes her eyes. She has to go down and join them and doing that clothed is both more conspicuous and impractical, since she’ll be wearing the same pair of jeans in the morning. Not taking a swim isn’t an option either, because this might be the only chance she gets to clean herself thoroughly, until they get back to the ranch. She has no choice, so why is she blowing this up in her mind? Why is she so self-conscious about her appearance? Because Jo told her once how Dean only goes for the pretty girls? Because she saw his former fling Casey, the beautiful brunette who could as well have been a model? Or is it because no one has ever looked at her like the head wrangler, and she doesn’t want him to see her differently after he witnesses all of her?

Frustrated, she takes off her hat and pulls the hairband from her braid, strapping it around her wrist. Internally she scolds herself for letting the insecurity get to her, all the while she unbuttons her plaid blouse and shrugs it off hastily. Before she changes her mind, she takes off one boot, then the other, leaving them by her tent, neatly placed next to each other with her socks inside. Finally she pushes her jeans down, folding them up and placing them on top of her Western boots. Again she inhales, because there she stands, in nothing but her black hipsters, a navy blue bra and a white tank top. Even though she had to pack light, she at least could have brought matching underwear. Not brave enough to take her undershirt off, she steps onto the path towards the water barefoot, running her fingers through her hair. The sight in front of her takes away some of her anxiety, because the wranglers, who were running low on moral an hour ago, are now enjoying their refreshing swim. Macy’s significant giggle echoes between the rocks at the river bed as Jon and Brad continue to tease her. Benny swims a slow lap, floating in the middle of the creek, while Dean washes his face in shallower waters. Thankfully, none of them are paying much attention as the intern approaches the waterline.

As she dips a toe in the water to test the temperature, Dean turns to look at her. His eyes shift from playful to mesmerized in a split second, because he has never seen her like this. For the first time since he met her, she’s wearing her hair down. The braid she left in for two days, leaves small waves in her locks, coming down like a waterfall. Her exposed legs haven’t seen much sun, due to her Northern origins, and probably her shyness as well. They seem strong, though, hours of horse riding and training leading to the muscles barely visibly moving under her soft skin, as she steps into the water. He smiles at the sight of the young woman, who sweeps him off his feet every time he lays eyes on her. “There you are.” She returns his expression, insecurity oozing through when she covers herself as much as she can. She has pulled her tank top down far enough to stretch over the little shorts she’s wearing. He is careful not to look at her differently, not wanting the self-conscious young woman to think that seeing her in less clothing changes his perspective, but deep down it hurts him. It hurts him that she apparently doesn’t feel like she’s beautiful, because God damn, she is. “Just take the plunge, Yankee,” he encourages, letting himself fall back smoothly, the water up to his shoulders now. “You know, for a place that is as hot as it is here, the water is pretty damn cold,” Y/N scoffs, collecting some of the water in her cupped hands and spreading it on her arms. Dean chuckles at that. She said ‘damn’, it’s about as close to a curse that he’s heard from her. “Once you’re in, it’s not so bad,” he promises.

Not having the heart to jump into the cool water, she puts one step into his direction, the surface at her knees now. This afternoon she would have committed a crime for a refreshing swim, but now that she is standing here, the cold licking at her ankles, she shivers. She still has her arms crossed, hugging herself in an attempt to feel warm and comforted. Movement of the water draws her attention and Y/N looks up at the head wrangler, who is moving towards her. Normally that wouldn’t strike her as alarming, but when she notices the mischievous grin adorning his handsome face, she holds her ground. “W-what are you doing?” she stammers. Dean doesn’t answer, but raises his eyebrows at her, fighting the fading resistance of the water with every stride. Oh boy, he is clearly up to no good. It causes her to step back and put out her hands in defense. “No - no - no! Dean, don’t you dare!” she warns, once she understands where this is going.

Y/N steps out of the creek now, trying to get away from him. But the cowboy is quick, and even when she sprints away, he manages to catch up. She lets out a scream when he grabs her by the waist, locking her to his chest with his strong arms. He then lifts her up without a strain and walks back to the creek. Not impressed with the fight she puts up as she tries to escape his grip, he steps into the cool water. “Dean, put me down! Put me --” Honoring her request, he jumps in, turning so that he is the first to dunk in the water and only then lets her go. They both go under, the cowboy coming up before her, shaking the water from his face. When Y/N breaks through the surface, he throws his head back while laughing out loud. The sheer horror on her face says it all; her mouth hanging open, her hair soaked and covering her eyes, her shoulders pulled up to her ears. She looks more like a cat who got dropped into the bath than a human being.

She wants to be mad at him, but the sound of his laughter melts her stone cold limbs. With a scoff she pushes the tangled strands from her face, glaring at the cowboy as she bites down on her lip in order to not break character. But then she chuckles, shaking her head. “You are such a jerk,” she utters. “You were taking forever,” he returns sniggering. Amused he watches her, moving a little closer. He’s about to apologize, when Y/N kicks her foot up, sending a big splash his way. He turns his head to avoid getting even wetter and counters with a good pitch, a handful of water sloshing at her as she protects her face. They continue to spatter like a bunch of kids, cackling as they do so, until Benny intervenes.

“Children!” he calls out, finally getting his friend’s attention. Both stop mid-action, glancing aside at the farrier who is watching the banter with his arms crossed and the water at his waist. “Permission to get the diving boards, Chief?” he requests. Dean nods, confirming, liking his Southern brother’s idea. Y/N studies him puzzled, however. “We didn’t bring diving boards, did we?” she double checks, not sure what Benny is up to. “Not the typical ones, no,” Dean returns mysteriously. “You’ll see.”

Benny returns from the camp not even a minute later, a horse by the halter in each hand. Stunned Y/N watches how he leads Ted Nugent and his own horse Ozzy Osbourne towards the riverbed, the large animals stepping in trustingly. He hands Dean Ted as he passes by, guiding the other chestnut to the center of the creek. When the water reaches to Ozzy’s shoulder, Benny pulls himself on top of the calm horse. Clearly it isn’t the first time that the wranglers have done this, because even when the farrier stands up on the gelding’s back, Ozzy waits patiently. “Bombs away!”

With a loud cheer Benny jumps from the ‘platform’, pulling his knees to his chest and breaking the surface with an impressive cannonball dive. He sends a tidal wave over the tourists, who rally him on. They swim towards Ozzy, who seems to love the cool down plus the attention. One by one they climb on his back, diving from his strong hindquarters. Dean watches the bunch with a contentment over him that Y/N hasn’t seen before. He leans against Ted, his arm resting over the arc of the horse’s spine. Of course this isn’t the first time she notices how relaxed he is, how at home he feels, and yet something is different about him. Like he reached a new level of happiness, of fulfillment. That couldn’t possibly have anything to do with her, now could it? But when he lets his eyes wander from the frolicking guests to Y/N, his smile grows wider, edging crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes. “Wanna go for a ride?” he asks. Without wasting words, she nods, holding his gaze until he takes Ted’s leadrope. Skillfully he swings his leg over the horse’s back, using the momentum to jump from the creek’s bottom and landing behind Ted’s withers. Once he’s seated, he extends his hand towards the woman beside him, grabbing her arm and interlocking it with his. With one swift pull he hoists her from the water, Y/N using the same technique to sway onto the horse, settling behind the head wrangler. As he steers Ted a little deeper into the water, his free hand comes to rest on Y/N’s thigh, not caring about the guests seeing them together.

The cowgirl’s balance on a horse is that of a gymnast on the beam, so holding on to Dean wouldn’t be necessary, but she puts her arms around his waist anyway. Comfortable and allowing herself to let this be, like he has encouraged her to, she rests her cheek against the hollow between his shoulder blades for a moment, closing her eyes. Her bare feet sweep through the water, her toes drawing ripples on the surface, the break catching the last light of the day. Despite that she is not holding the reins, bareback on a horse that she doesn’t know, she feels safe. She hasn’t felt this carefree since the early days of her horse riding career. Her grandfather would walk with her during those very first pony rides, teaching her about horses along the way. She trusted him fully, never once doubting his life lessons and knowledge. With Dean it’s a different kind of faith. It’s knowing he will be right there whenever she needs him, but also to give her the courage to take that leap. “You alright back there, Yankee?” he wonders, feeling her smile against his skin. “Yeah,” she acknowledges. “I am.” The corner of Dean’s mouth pulls upward, his hand holding the leadrope shifting from Ted’s mane to cover her hands on his stomach, fingers entwining, trapping the braided cord in between. The rope made of horsehair scratches his palm, a contrast to her soft skin. Grateful he breathes in, the smell of desert dust underlaid with a subtle, herbal, organic scent of the river fills his nose. Before, he never felt like he needed something more in life. He has never gone steady with a woman, not more than a couple of weeks at least. He was never looking for a relationship and appreciated the freedom that came with that. But now, having her pressed against his back, warm and comforting, he realizes what he’s been missing.

They approach the other wranglers, the rider exchanging a knowing look with Benny, who takes in the perfect picture delighted. Before the guests notice the intimacy, Y/N slips her arms from Dean’s strong torso, pulling up her feet. “What are you doin’?” the cowboy wonders, looking over his shoulder. She stands up on Ted’s back and stretches her legs, steadying herself by holding on to him until she finds her footing. Then she straightens up. “Taking the plunge,” she chuckles. The intern jumps then, squeezing her nose closed as she folds herself into a ball before she crashes through the surface. Macy is still cackling when Y/N comes up, unsuccessful at dodging the spatter that came her way. Meanwhile the others cheer her on, now that she has finally joined them. She has completely forgotten about her insecurities, or the cold water that washed all that away. All she can think of is how blessed she is to be here, to gain so much more than just work experience.

The crew takes several more dives from the horses, who allow the gambol calmly. Dean drops an impressive dive bomb right between the group, not outdoing his slightly heavier friend Benny, but creating quite a splash nonetheless. Time flies by way too quickly, and before they know it, the sun has disappeared behind the mountains, leaving only dark shades of red and purple to decorate the sky. The air cools quickly and everyone knows they should get ready for the night. Eventually it’s Benny who rattles up the company. “Alright, y’all. Time for Benny’s famous Southern soul soup. Get your butts to camp and start that fire. I’ve got some cookin’ to do.” He shoos the tourists out of the creek, following them with the two horses in tow. He looks over his shoulder at his best friend and the intern, who linger. A mischievous grin comes Dean’s way before the farrier straightens himself, walking away whistling. Y/N sniggers at the funny character; looks like he has been acting as the head wrangler’s wingman. “Smooth,” she comments, a knowing yet amused smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Yeah, he’s real subtle,” Dean chuckles, busted. “Got you alone again, though.” He comes closer, water moving between them, and suddenly nature goes quiet. His hands end up on her hips, pulling in the girl who is so willingly looking at him. His fingers trace the hem of her white tank top as he dips his head, his nose brushing against hers.

Before Y/N knows it, he’s kissing her again. She melts into him, her muscles going slack under his touch. Like the night before, the kiss is gentle and unhurried, giving her a moment to compare the two. His lips are a little more chapped, probably due to the long day in the sun while running low on water. A three day old stubble tickles her skin, the tough hairs slightly longer than yesterday. He’s clean now, fresh water having washed away the sweat and dirt. The first-time nerves aren’t there this evening, but she does feel that same fire rise up from her coil. That same desire to stay here forever, because no kiss has ever felt this good.

He parts from her, with his hands still splayed on her lower back, looking down on the cowgirl he has hopelessly fallen for. A few clouds reflect the little light that is coming from the horizon, but it’s enough for Dean to notice something. He grins widely, even though he tries to tone it down, as his hands leave her waist to run the pad of his thumb over her cheekbone, sweeping across the area under her eyes. For a second she wonders what he’s trying to brush away, but then it hits her. “Oh, Lord. I look like a Goth, don’t I?” she realizes, remembering how fond she was to still have a significant amount of mascara on her lashes this morning, helping her feel a little less naked. Now she regrets not washing it off completely. “More like a sad panda,” Dean chuckles, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth to stifle a laugh.

Awkwardly she looks down at the water, but the wrangler stops her, hooking his finger under her chin. “Don’t hide,” he says, his expression soft. Cupping her face, he wipes away the last black shades from her flushed cheeks, then drinks her in, his eyes flicking over her features. Embarrassment remains prominent in her stance, though. Dean feels his chest tighten a little, because if anything, he did not want to make her feel uneasy. “You know you don’t have to wear it, right?” he starts, his thumb caressing her soft skin. “The makeup?” She looks up at him again now, still insecure, but carefully hopeful. Where is he going with this? “I mean, if you want to and if it makes you feel better, don’t let me stop ya...” he adds, stammering a little bit. “I’m just saying that you don’t need it. You’re beautiful... With or without.”

A small smile forms on her lips. Again she’s blushing, not from shame, but from flattery this time. “You think I’m beautiful?” she asks, traces of slight disbelief in her voice. “Hell, yeah,” Dean assures smirking, half rolling his eyes at her doubt. “And as my lovely cousin told you in such detail, I have snooped around plenty, so I’d know. Those girls ain’t got nothing on you.” She laughs at the joke, casting her eyes down. “Hey…” Y/N glances up, the intensity of his eyes catching her off guard. “I mean it,” he whispers. Showing her exactly how amazing she is, he kisses her hard this time, leaving her breathless. Overwhelmed by the intensity she stiffens, but then opens up to him, allowing his tongue to slip past her lips. With her eyes closed she waits, letting him take the lead in their dance. Careful not to break the moment, Dean leans back, letting himself fall gently into the water, taking her with him. Floating away on waves of elation, he envelopes her in his arms, offering her the warmth of his body in the icy creek. He rises up then, searching for footing again on the floor of pebbles, the water at chest height now. For a second they part, breathing in each other’s air. The wrangler opens his eyes, looking down at the gorgeous woman who is slowly becoming his. Waiting for even the slightest hint of hesitation, he moves his fingers to trace down the hem of her top again, slipping underneath. She gazes back, her eyes piercing with nothing but want, nodding barely noticeable. Dean spots it, though. It’s like the lights on the track jumped to green, meeting her halfway in a kiss much more heated than the previous ones.

His hands hike up under her shirt, gliding over her delicate skin as his mouth never leaves hers. A hitching breath passes her lips when the pad of his thumb caresses the underside of her breast, featherlight, yet electrifying. Dean pushes her bra up slightly, almost tracing her nipple, which has hardened both from the cold and arousal. Completely in awe, she rolls her head back a little, exposing her neck. Gladly Dean ghosts over the junction to her shoulder, running his teeth towards her collarbone torturously slow, biting down a groan on the curve. Good Lord. His touch, his tongue, his mouth. Everything about this feels amazing. The freezing water is just the right temperature to cool her heated skin, the swell of the small waves identical to the one she feels in her lower abdomen. The cowboy can have her anyway he wants, she’s not going to fight him on it. In fact, she urges him to keep going, carding her nails through his damp hair and applying pressure once she closes her fingers around the brown locks, darkened by millions of droplets.

Dean’s right hand descends down her body again while his left remains to attend her soft breast. He follows the arch of her back, then lower, kneading and exploring her behind, firm from years in the saddle. Holy shit, this cannot possibly feel this good. The resolution to take things slow goes right out the window, as his fingers find space above the back of her thigh, following the edge of her underwear. Then he grips her tight there, his other hand sliding to cover the clasp of her bra, not freeing her from it just yet. He lifts her a little, pushing her flush against him. Hungry for the woman in his arms, he covers the top of her breasts with his mouth, the soaked fabric of her top between him and her hot skin. Dean knew it before, but this, this unbelievable display of chemistry only confirms it; she’s it.

His lips find hers again, even though she has to keep breaking away in order to get enough air. Her respiration has picked up, every breath coming out labored. She can feel the gentle vibration of a low moan coming from deep within his chest, only adding fuel to the wildfire that is spreading through her body fast. At first she is unaware of the noise of water rustling in the distance, but then Dean freezes. Not understanding why he has stopped, she nuzzles her nose against his cheek, drunk and thirsty for his affection, seeking his mouth, but the wrangler is focussed on something else. Confused Y/N opens her eyes, looking up at the handsome man, whose eyes are fixed on the estuary of La Barge Creek to Canyon Lake. “Dean?” “You hear that?” he whispers.

The sound of water moving and the fragile surface breaking dawns on her now and she follows his gaze into the dark. Then she hears a neigh and her heart skips a beat. That wasn’t one of theirs. “Find the water…” “Find the herd,” Dean finishes her sentence. Still in his embrace, she watches the mystical sight, able to make out the shapes now under a faint moon, once the clouds move away from blocking the light. The group of horses crosses the creek, some stopping to drink. Dean lets out a relieved laugh, turning to face Y/N again. “We found them,” she smiles. “We did,” he whispers. He kisses her briefly, knowing that he has to warn Benny, before the herd moves away. He drowns in her eyes a little longer, though, the ignited ecstasy still sparkling visibly in her pupils. His heart swells, his mind calms. He knows. He has found so much more than just the horses on this trail.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to reblog my work or buy me coffee (Link in bio at the top of the page)

Read part fourteen here

#Ride With Me #Cowboy!Dean #Dean Winchester x Reader #Dean x Reader #Cowboy!Dean x Reader #Dean reader insert #Dean Winchester reader insert #Dean Winchester #Dean Winchester fanfiction #Dean fanfiction #Dean Winchester series #Dean series #Cowboy!Dean series #Supernatural #SPN #Supernatural AU #Dean AU #SPN AU #Kate Huntington

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incomingalbatross · 5 years ago

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Long Henry & Shawn Posts Part 2, aka: The Doghouse

There’s... so much going on here.

Henry: continues to dislike Shawn’s new business, because dangerous, but also continues to help him. However, while he doesn’t actually mind the effort of getting the lab results, he is taking this opportunity to insist Shawn earn them.

So he brings out one of Shawn’s (many, probably) abandoned childhood projects and tells him to finish it... to test his dedication to the case? Or just in his thousandth attempt to instill a work ethic? I’m not sure... Maybe both. Maybe he’s just taking Shawn’s new motivation as another chance to get him to sit still and learn something.

(Note: I don’t think this is a great tactic, personally. A) Shawn rejected Henry’s authority at 18, and now he’s 30 Henry really needs to adjust their relationship--something he hasn’t had a chance to do yet. B) Making your help conditional may well suggest that your love is conditional, which was never Henry’s goal but is one of their problems.)

(...To be fair, though, his whole attitude towards Shawn makes more sense when you remember Henry’s little brother is a charming but self-centered conman. I feel like Adult Shawn is giving strong Jack vibes right here--he tries to charm a favor out of Henry to get help with his job, and then puts minimum effort into his part of the deal. Also, it doesn’t help that Henry barely knows the adult version of his son!)

Shawn, meanwhile: DOES, in fact, think his dad’s love is conditional! (Or at least is finding new grounds to convince himself of that.) He doesn’t understand this “deal” at all, and considers it utterly pointless (and, in all fairness to Henry, does a very shoddy job at first). When he ends up in the hospital, he refuses to call Henry and tell him he’s okay because “My dad only cares about results, Gus.” Even when he goes back, it’s seemingly because he’s committed to the case--however, this does lead him to put in an honest effort on the doghouse

Henry: ...Got a call, at some point in the night, that Shawn had a motorcycle accident! I suspect said call, and Shawn’s injuries, are behind his offer to help at least as much as Shawn’s own efforts are. He’s realizing that waiting for Shawn to make all the first moves is just going to drive him away and then into a ditch somewhere because he’s driving alone again.

Pats him on the back when he declares the doghouse “not bad”! I don’t know if that counts as direct contact, but it’s the closest they’ve gotten!

(YES I am keeping track)

He also tells him, directly, to get out of the case because it’s dangerous. Open concern! (Though he’s still trying to give Shawn orders, which they’re not in a place for at all)

Shawn, meanwhile, is very frustrated at the news that his dad already had the lab results. He wasn’t working for his dad to make the effort, apparently, but just to get what Henry already had? Shawn can’t see any reason he should have to put in more work than his dad did (”You didn’t even have to call [the friend with a crime lab]??”)

He works his mouth in silence for about ten seconds, furious, and clearly almost saying a lot of things but not quite committing to any of them out loud. Then he storms off.

Honestly though, I suspect that this is a significant improvement over their last fights. I suspect back then, Shawn said everything that came into his head.

And then we get a little wrap-up scene, which may not have been necessary but is helpful to the arc.

Shawn dropped by his dad’s! Yes, it was to revenge-prank him, but I feel like that’s still better than coming only to ask for something. Pranks are... kind of socializing, in Shawn World.

They’re... still not doing great. Henry’s been reading the article on the Spelling Bee Case, and says so, but doesn’t say anything openly positive. Shawn’s...guarded, as well.

But Henry is smiling at him. And the little exchange of “Leg doing better?” “It’s gettin’ there. Doesn’t hurt so bad” is genuinely the kind of mundane checking-in you’d expect with a parent.

Annnnd then Shawn pretends to start a heartfelt acknowledgement that Henry Was Right, and turns it into a prank. Leaving Henry with the unwanted responsibility for once (although only for about ten minutes before Shawn takes it back, because he does have limits).

Honestly? Fair enough

And him running off cackling is definitely an improvement over leaving angry or discombobulated, like the other times so far. He needed that win... And Henry needs to take that minor defeat and see that it’s not a real problem

Also, Gus is standing across the street as co-conspirator! He hasn’t been in previous Shawn & Henry scenes at all, and I feel like his presence, even at a remove, is another sign that they’re re-finding their old balance

...oh heeeeck we haven’t seen Henry and Gus interact AT ALL in these eps, I think. Even in flashbacks. *makes notes*

But yeah. I’m good with this resolution, for now. Baby steps

#psych #the spellingg bee #shawn spencer #henry spencer #shawn & henry #psych meta #'the prank feels like a positive sign' is where i got 'pranks are shawn's love language' btw

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inevitably-johnlocked · 6 years ago

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sup steph! can u plz recommend some short johnlock fics? (short as in 1-2 chapters) ik this is incredibly vague but just give me ones that you may like hehe thanks :D

Hi Lovely!

OHHHHH Gosh, I have so many short Johnlock fics… and I know single chapter fics that are 30K words LOL LOL! So I’ll assume you’re looking for a shorter wordcount fics, as opposed to chapter count, LOL.

First of all, you can check out these past “short fic lists” I’ve done!

Ten Fave Short Johnlock Fics (Easy Reads April 2018)

25 Fave Johnlock One Shots (April 2018)

Fics Under 2000 w.

I think I’ll take this opportunity to post up the next set of “Under 2000 w.” fic list, how about that? :) If you want something other than that, let me know, and I’ll look for something else for you :P As a side note, on every one of my personal rec lists, all my shorter fics are always listed first, so if you like the topic but just want a quick read, go ahead and check out the first few fics until you hit a word count too big for ya <3 Hope you enjoy these!

FICS UNDER 2,000w. PT. 2

When Morning Comes by Youarethelightoftheworld (T, 423 w. || Christmas Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lazy Mornings/Morning After, Fluff and Angst, Sleepy Cuddles, Domestic Fluff, Cuddling / Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort) – “Sherlock,” says John solemnly, “I’m not sure we can go anywhere today.”

The Moment When by drekadair (K, 509 w. || TGG Fic, Friendship, First Person POV Sherlock, Introspection, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock sees John in the pool, and doubts. Set during the end of “The Great Game.”

Do You Love Me? by whitchry9 (K, 641 w. || Friendship, Family, Epic Bromance) – John asks Sherlock perhaps the most important question.

New World, Old Words by thedeafwriter (G, 641 w. || Deaf Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Always John) – It was disconcerting to experience. One second, he was laying on the table, breathing in the gas that would make him sleep, the next, he was dragging his eyes open to look around the bright room, trying to wake up.

Promise of Sussex by LittleLongHairedOutlaw (T, 705 w. || First Person POV Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Angst, Pining, Ambiguous Ending) – John tries to keep Sherlock conscious after he’s been shot on a case.

Promises Kept by grannysknitting (K+, 844 w. || John POV, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship / Pre-Slash, Sherlock’s Violin, Worried Sherlock, John Whump, Post-TGG) – When they were in hospital, Sherlock made a promise to himself. Now he’s keeping it. Set after ’Polygamous Marriage’ but before ’Back in the Saddle’

Possessive by Fang323 (T, 850 w. || John Whump, Hospitalization, Possessive / Protective Sherlock, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – His John did not belong. Not here. Not in this blasted hospital. It simply was not logical.

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital… again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

Burn Burn by Jenn1984 (K+, 925 w. || Post-TGG, Angst, Worried / Panicked / Possessive Sherlock) – A week after the events of “The Great Game”, Sherlock returns to 221B Baker Street to find it empty.

Devil’s in the Details (Isn’t that what you always say?) by Rae Himura (K, 976 w. || Angst, Sarah POV) – It was the little things Sarah noticed. (Or, some things even the world’s only consulting detective can’t see.)

Sherlock Is Not The One You Should Worry About by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,077 w. || Sally POV, Character Reflection, Praising John) – Sally Donovan’s eyes are opened about a certain Doctor John Watson.

Sherlock’s Mind Palace by Valkyrie Of The Dead (K+, 1,091 w. || Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Deaths, Self Reflection) – Sherlock needs to change his mind-palace once again. He had hoped he wouldn’t, he had thought he wouldn’t, because they were invincible, weren’t they?

Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Alternate TGG / Explosion, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?

The Simple Separation Will Not Come Between Us by The Circus (T, 1,278 w. || Hurt/Comfort, MCD, Violence, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Prose) – The choice is simple. Real, and No John. Or Not Real, and John. For a prompt that says ‘John dies and Sherlock loses himself in his Mind Palace’

God Save The Queen by Alice Day (K+, 1,398 w. || Humour, Mystery, Friendship) – Sherlock has a new case. John is petrified. The Queen is amused.

I Was Wrong by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,496 w. || TGG AU, Friendship, Hospitalization / Injury, John’s Self Esteem, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sherlock and John have a conversation a few days after the pool face off with Moriarty. And John hears something quite surprising.

Left In The Ashes by zoltargirl (T, 1,497 w. || Angst, MCD, Angry Sherlock, Brutal Violence) – Rage is a unique quality in all human beings. In Sherlock Holmes, it’s terrifying.

Angel by MrsNoggin (T, 1,513 w. || Winglock, Friendship, Chromoesthesia, Drugging) – John is an angel. That can be the only explanation. A response to the challenging request for a realistic wingfic one-shot.

Together is What we Have, Together Protects Us by Phantom of the Black Pearl (K+, 1,566 w. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Platonic or Slash, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Sherlock, Worried Sherlock, Slice of Life) – After a case one evening in the flat Sherlock voices a concern that causes the pair to consider why they’ve chosen to stick together after all that’s happened.

A Long Way To Home by PeaceLoveAndCheese (T, 1,568 w. || Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Reunion Fic) – Human emotions are tiring, troublesome things. And Sherlock wants to be known as anything but that. No matter how hard you try though, you’re only human. And it’s been a long year.

Quite Contrary by Hollyesque (T, 1,805 w. || HLV Fic, Sherlock Whump / After Mary Shot Sherlock, Hallucinations / Flashbacks / PTSD, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Lestrade POV, ) – A short one-shot, alternate scene to Greg’s hospital visit in HLV. Instead of Sherlock disappearing, Greg is faced with an unexpected reaction to a hospitalized Sherlock and winds up figuring out something that he really would have rather not known.

BBCSH 'Poor Mary’ by tigersilver (M, 1,839 w.|| HLV Fic, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Missing Scene, Sherlock POV) – As the tin says above, this is a missing scene, set directly after Sherlock awakens in hospital after having been shot by his best mate’s wife. Minor angst, some pining, nothing nasty; please don’t be alarmed unduly.

Like Euphoria and Scotch by FinAmour (M, 1,856 w. || Five and One, Alchohol / Drinking, POV Second Person Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Imagination, Armchair Sex, Fluff, Happy Ending) – 5 different ways it all could have gone + the one way it actually works itself out.

One in Ten Thousand by Blind Author (K+, 1,856 w. || Post-TGG, Friendship / Pre-Slash, Discussions of Violence, Worried then Curious Sherlock, Scars/John’s Bullet Wound, Medical Anomolies) – John seems to have unusual mobility for a shoulder wound…

Caught by Salambo06 (E, 1,859 w. || Frottage, First Time / Kiss, Bed Sharing, Wet Dreams, POV John, Masturbation) – A hotel room. They’re here for a case, hadn’t planned to spend the night and ended up sharing a room. No, sharing a bed. Suddenly John is very much aware of his own hand closed around his hard cock and the ragged breathing next to him. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, John dares to turn his head just enough to confirm what he already knows. Sherlock, on his side, watching him.

Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil by PipMer (T, 1,895 w. || Deaf John, Mute Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Fluff and Angst, Character Study, Morse Code, Love Confessions) – John is deaf. Sherlock is mute. There are no two people more suited for each other.

The Adventure of the Mysterious Appearance of Tissues by Gwen’s Blue Box (K+, 1,910 w. || Fluff, Humour, Sick John, Caring Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort) – In which there is a case, John has caught a cold and is not interested in investigating, Mrs Hudson is away and Sherlock does the shopping.

They’re Taking My Wisdom by whitchry9 (K+, 1,939 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Drugging, Dentists, Friendship, Anxious Sherlock, Humour) – Sherlock goes to the dentist. Of course, being Sherlock, things have to be complicated. Oh and drugs. They’re always fun.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #short fics #my fic recs #2000 w fics #hugthesnail

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scarlettlawyer · 6 years ago

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Part 4 of my commentary of @renegadewangs‘ fanfic series Phantoms and Mirages.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Now, onto Haunted Specters! God, I love Haunted Specters.

It’s such a pivotal and crucial stepping stone. Just about all the major actors on the playing board, and in fact, the playing board itself all get rearranged in a careful balancing act that sets the scene anew.

It is, or at least it was, SUCH an incredible struggle for me to reconcile the phantom from the previous fic with the phantom we see in this one (and subsequent instalments, even) upon taking a step back, and with good reason, although for me the divide ran a little deeper, as it completely boggled my mind how this was somehow the same character being written by the same author, let alone belonging to the same fic series that somehow had a line of continuity where it made sense for these characters to end up in these situations – this situation.

I don’t merely refer to the phantom’s characterisation – what’s so great is that you can totally get away with writing him in this manner and have the audience accept it, seeing as he’s suffered a traumatic brain injury from the fall. It allows for a great amount of freedom for what direction to take the character in that would have been absent before.

No, I also refer here to (of course) the dynamic he shares with the other characters, the way he is portrayed and positioned by the narrative, and lastly, my own personal approach to reading and my feelings towards – level of investment in the character as he is in this series. As I’ve rehashed many times, I wasn’t very absorbed in or on board with this series’ version of the phantom for a lot of the previous fic when I first read it, at least until the end. But now, going into this fic, I was fully invested in especially seeing and learning what changes and impact the fall had made on him, and there was a new, thrilling level of unpredictability attached not only to the character, but to the plot itself.

By all accounts, the series so far had set me up to want to see how Blackquill and Bobby were finally going to take down the Big, Bad, Evil Phantom once and for all. How they would, against the odds, track him down and apprehend him against his will in what was bound to be an epic showdown. I was ready for that. It’s what I wanted to see. When I previously mentioned wanting – yearning for a “slightly lighter take” in my first post? That was gone now. I was ready for some pizza, at last. It’s what I had been conditioned to expect so far, so I was like, why not? I was like, heck yeah, let’s do this.

And yet, the narrative didn’t hesitate to seem to want to throw all of this out the window altogether. My expectations completely and utterly thwarted, I found myself realising I really had no idea what direction this could possibly be going in (or why my expectations had been thwarted so thoroughly like this). I well and truly had no idea what would happen next most of the time, because I couldn’t fathom where things could possibly go, and that had me hooked to reading, so eager to know what would happen next since it was such a mystery.

Rereading Chasing Phantoms as I have done for these commentary posts was helpful in truly establishing in my mind that yes, that was the same phantom, the same phantom, the same man that is present continuously within this series. That needed to be reconciled not just with regards to portrayal, but also my own misconceptions outside of that about how the story and character were constructed back then.

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself here, so let’s start off with looking at the first few chapters.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 1

…You know, right off the bat, I know/figure this series was mostly (if not wholly) written prior to the release of SOJ, and yet. I could be wrong but it looks like all of the provided dates still seem to match up in order to make it remain fully compliant to ace attorney canon. As in, there’s nothing directly contradicting it. And if that really is the case, well that’s just pretty damn awesome all around. AA7 will surely come along in future and ruin the fun of that I’m guessing, but for the time being, you can’t tell me all of this stuff wasn’t happening in the background even as AA6 was going on. AA6 all seems to take place prior to chapter 1, anyway. God bless timeskips!

...Wait, wait, coming back to edit this much later: scrap that. Apollo’s presence throws a spanner in the works. Ah, well. We can work around that, I’m sure. I’m gonna play around with it in my mind until it fits, somehow. :P Even later edit: Oh also Gaspen.

When Simon left the office, he couldn’t quite keep the broad grin from his face, nor the light skip from his stride.

This is so cute oh gosh happy Simon!

Save it for a more appropriate time- that was what his therapist had taught him.

Oh? Oh really? Is that so? Who might that be? No one important? Oh you mean? You mean the courtroom sniper? Is that right? You mean the phantom’s future

Boyfriend?

Nah, that can’t be right. Carry on then.

Hah, don’t worry, I’m not complaining. Lang Zi says: A man who cannot keep his own affairs in order lacks the competence to be having affairs.” “… No offense, Lang-dono, but at times the suspicion dawns on me that perhaps you’re making some of these sayings up as you go.” “This coming from the man who has a thousand and one prison anecdotes to share?” Lang paused for a moment, then his voice took on a much more serious note. “Anyway, I’m not calling for idle banter.”

“Haha, yeah, good one, so anyway, there’s a good chance your boyfriend might be dead.”

Haunted Specters, Chapter 2

“No! Hold it! Mr. Butz had no reason to kill anyone!”

I WAS WONDERING IF THE DEFENDANT WAS SOMEONE WE KNEW SKNJSDNKJ

“So tell him to hold off on ordering another useless gravestone with my name on it. In fact, tell him to stop looking for me while you’re at it.”

ANOTHER- god I love how completely wack some of these characters’ lives are/have been.

“… I gave him your regards. I gave him your regards, and then some.”

Me, known phantom fangirl trash: OH GOSH IS HE OKAY???

Me, knowing full-well that Bobby would be 100% justified acting in self-defense against a known emotionless killer, therefore also with somewhat mock concern: OH BOBBY PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T HURT HIM

(Oh, but he didn’t. I needn’t have worried.)

Ah, I’ve been sitting here, wondering what I can say to this. How his assessment is completely aligned with reader expectations and further sets them up only to be subverted, how far off his guesses are… I just… “even the tiniest glimpse of him” they’re… they’re sharing an apartment… Yeah. We’ll get there. I couldn’t find an appropriate reaction image to the above block of text, really.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 3

Okay this is extremely pernickety, and I apologise, but…

And, mind you, I usually pay no attention whatsoever to these things, and it honest to goodness makes no difference at all in the end – if the narrative says it’s Tuesday, then it’s Tuesday. Simple as that. I merely looked it up out of curiosity and because I’ve annoyingly taken it upon myself to micro-analyse everything in this fanfiction series like a little pest. I also kinda figured because you are picking out the dates and actively calling attention to the day of the week, that you would have some kind of system that you are sticking to for it (and the vast majority of details added into your fic was done so meticulously). And maybe Google is off on the calculation and you got it right, heh. But yeah, I definitely paid no real mind to this at all when reading it the first time around.

But then… Even if Fulbright was now avoiding help from the people close to him, that didn’t mean there weren’t any people close to him. Similarly, the Phantom could never quite work alone.

Okay, okay. I know this is a direct lead-in to re-introducing Domestique into the mix, but… oh my gosh. You really just went right ahead and… Hm! The phantom can never quite work alone. He is working with Bobby right now, as a matter of speaking.

Also. I really like Domestique’s dialogue when he’s forced to face Simon, gosh. Just so unabashedly in-your-face, so dotted with swears, it’s kinda great, really.

I ESPECIALLY LOVE THIS LINE FROM HIM:

Because honest-to-goodness, it’s kinda funny how direct it is (and the “THAT’S TWO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES” asdgd), but also rings really true in a “this is exactly what someone like this would say in this situation” way – exactly how they’d phrase it.

…

Oh, I love. This meeting between Bobby and the phantom at the end of the chapter. It’s – aaah. Very good. With the way it’s set out, you’re somewhat kinda like, oh, huh, is it really him though? Could it really be him? But the narrative goes right ahead and keeps dropping explicit hints. It still doesn’t outright confirm it, leaving the slightest hint of plausible deniability that perhaps this is a New Character we’re being introduced to, but… :D

Haunted Specters, Chapter 4

Even the revelation that the Chief Prosecutor had helped uncover a mole who’d been hiding right by Lang’s side was a story that’d spread through hearsay only.

Second reference to the Her 👀 (yes, I’ve been paying attention to that on this readthrough).

“Coupons. Ambassador Palaeno sends me a considerable package of these things every year, yet I find no use for them. They’re redeemable only in Cohdopia itself, so I’m sure you see my problem.”

Bro. Bro you keep making vague references to characters only for them to actually become super important and plot-relevant later on. I’m blindsided every time.

Me, reading this for the first time: Haha nice reference to a minor ace attorney character, yes, Edgey would totally still receive coupons from him. I can see that. He’s totally unrelated to this story though.

Me later: THIS SUCKER WAS ALREADY BEING REFERENCED AT THE BEGINNING OF FIC 2.

The Chief Prosecutor received gifts from the Cohdopian ambassador? Honestly, everyone was intertwined in one way or the other, weren’t they?

Good work. This is very true of the ace attorney universe and it’s cool that Simon takes note of it here like this. But it’s also very true of this fic series as well, helping reiterate that fact. Oh, Simon, you don’t even know yet how intertwined everyone even is…

You set the scene so well upon Simon arriving in Cohdopia. Really depict the atmosphere and everything super well!

So then, Simon arrives at the address, and he finds… Bobby? And it’s like, wait, wasn’t that supposed to be the phantom’s address? Why’s Bobby here? Aint that hugely coincidental…? How did Bobby find… Well, he did cross paths with the phantom, so I guess he also managed to track him down to this place somehow and he just so happens to be arriving at the same time as Simon (?!) and then some other stranger that Bobby seems to know arrives and…

…

…What?!

I love how there was still plausible deniability up until the very moment Bobby says it outright. Like, the phantom’s apartment might have been abandoned years ago, and this “stranger” is completely unrelated, and took up residence there some time after it was abandoned. Yeah – a stranger that will be an important ally and help them on their quest to bring the phantom down! Right? But Bobby’s behaviour, and then he… that’s… that stranger is no stranger at all…

Simon waited, all sorts of hypotheses dawning on him, each more ludicrous than the next. As it turned out, one of the theories he’d dismissed almost immediately on grounds of being too farfetched turned out to be truth.

LITERALLY ME

Haunted Specters, Chapter 5

“I warned you, Simon. Now back away,” Bobby hissed, grabbing him by the arm to pull him away from the faux Cohdopian.

“Faux Cohdopian”… Well,

Anyway. Well. Wow. What can I even say about this chapter? Most of it’s all contained in Simon’s POV narrative itself.

First off, you have the obvious, “whoa, this is how the phantom is being formally re-introduced to the narrative? I really don’t know what I expected but it sure as hell wasn’t this.”

This chapter, this situation, the characters, are all so incredibly volatile and it plays out, it really plays out with that constant volatility.

I, kinda immediately suspected that something was off in that the fall had done some damage to the phantom’s mind in an important, meaningful way.

Bobby’s behaviour is so surreal. Just like it is to Simon. There’s so much going on, so much to process all at once.

“I think that even you, Phantom, would agree this is nothing short of folly.” A moment of silence followed. Sam didn’t so much as blink at the question. He merely downed the pill he’d been given by draining the water in one go. “… Sam doesn’t speak English,” was all Bobby said.

Now THINGS LIKE THIS, are what made me think, well, the narrative seemed to be encouraging this viewpoint that maybe, at this point the phantom doesn’t actually remember being the phantom. Maybe he lost all his memories, and he’s just wandering around as some poor confused amnesiac who genuinely thinks he’s Sam Specter. (That doesn’t explain a couple of things, but it was only a temporary thought of mine as I read through). But this viewpoint allowed Bobby’s behaviour to make sense in my eyes. It raises a very interesting dilemma. That the phantom is still despicable and needs to be brought to justice and what have you, but how? The phantom is completely absent now, if this man has no memories of any of that. If he genuinely thinks he’s Sam Specter, an innocent civilian who has done no wrong, and for all intents and purposes is trying to live his life as such, reacts as such? Then Bobby would probably bear no ill will against “Sam Specter”. That perhaps, well and truly up until a certain point, “Sam’s” act was not an act. Or it, at the very least, was much less of an act than it would usually be. It’s… quite convincing. In which case, Bobby wouldn’t want harm to come to innocent civilian “Sam Specter”, even if he used to be the phantom. But now? Now he’s just some weak, frail man with a serious mental condition.

The attempts to affirm the personhood, to what extent there is one, of “Sam Specter” is a very interesting point of contention.

With this in mind, as Simon went after the phantom trying to get him to come out, I kind of expected it to consistently not work. That Simon would just keep pushing and pushing to be faced with that murderer once more, only for “Sam Specter” to never break character, perhaps because there is no real character to break from at that point, so caught in a delusion. For Bobby to want him to stop because at that point he’d just be needlessly harassing “Sam Specter”.

But then he does break character, so that theory kind of goes out the window.

He’d been cornered, faced with the truth and forced to drop the charade.

But. It’s still not revealed to what extent the phantom was impacted by the fall. And I kind of got the impression that the phantom was “holding onto” the act… more than usual. More than he usually would. He only broke character under duress, so there are still a whole bunch of questions raised here about just how much he was immersed and caught up in the role of Sam, exactly. Also. Yes. On a second readthrough he reacts fiercely and breaks character specifically after the asylum comment and I just – oh my GOSH.

Also: Peacekeeper Bobby…

Bobby’s gaze moved from the broken glass to Sam Specter, who was once again cradling his head with both hands. Who was rocking back and forth on the couch, muttering to himself. Obviously not listening to a word they were saying.

Oh gosh, he really… Yeah. A fall from an apartment building can certainly do that to you.

Haunted Specters, Chapter 6

What if… What if this was a mistake? What if he’d just freed a common criminal?

Well, UM.

“Oh. Oh, right. That makes sense.” A moment’s pause. “…Wait, wouldn’t I be walking backwards then, making your six my twelve?” “…” “Or uh… I’ll just turn the clock around and make my twelve six so it’ll still be right side up for you.” “… I doubt this conversation would be any different if I were having it with a young child.”

Oh my gooosh. He’s really like this huh. He’s really just Like This.

“Oh. … Well, that’s good! That nobody else is stuck here, I mean, not the… the selling.” “Stop wasting time on such trivial sentiments and prepare yourself.”

“Trivial sentiments”… I just… He’s really always Like This. Your version of the phantom is so talkative, something I noticed pretty early on, but I love it, honestly. He could have easily just ignored the statement and continued to tend to the task at hand here, not saying anything, and Bobby would have easily taken that cue and also started to focus more and not really said anything further, but oh, no, the phantom just had to throw in some kind of remark. Not replying would have conveyed the same meaning, but this guy? He’s absolutely gonna say something. He didn’t have to equate Bobby to a child either, easily could have chosen to say nothing. BUT HERE WE ARE. I love it.

Two strangers, guarding each other with their lives on the gamble they’d both make it out in one piece.

Incredible. Incredible!

“What…? Friendship?” For the first time since they’d met, the man’s voice showed more than a stoic nature. Some sort of subdued confusion. “… Wasn’t it… justice?”

THIS MOMENT IS GOLDEN. Yes, YES.

And, you know, his brain’s all muddled, he’s missing huge chunks of his memory… And he really is kind of blurting this out at this point? Like a knee-jerk reaction. He’s reaching for a – for a memory that just comes to him even if he can’t quite put it in full context, or even if he CAN, he really says this without thinking. Because even if he was suffering from this confusion, I am very certain that he would not just blurt it out like that under normal circumstances. No. This man is half out of his mind! He must know that Bobby doesn’t recognise him and he has no real reason to tip him off otherwise right now (because it could backfire very easily if Bobby freezes up or freaks out as a result!), to ask him like that... Haaah. I’m so here for really-not-all-there phantom.

Still, even through their little exchange, Sam looked blissfully lost. As if he truly didn’t understand what they were discussing about the Phantom. About him. What a pathetic little farce.

This really did have me genuinely uncertain what to think. Like, how much of “Sam Specter” is a farce? How invested was the phantom into that role? The phantom understands English perfectly, but because Sam supposedly doesn’t… Was it possible at all that selective hearing was truly at play? That the phantom gets so deep into the role that he tricks himself, his brain, into not really understanding English properly – refusing to process it? At least, that’s what I thought at the time. Bobby makes the requests for the phantom in Cohdopian, after all. He doesn’t just casually sit there and say “hey phantom, come out” in English. Switching between “Sam” and “the phantom” evidently takes… some effort for him. And mind you, I was putting all of this (selective hearing etc.) down to the results of the fall as well. I mean, if the phantom was “Sam” under normal circumstances before the fall he’d be able to understand English perfectly well, he’d just pretend he couldn’t, and also that he’d be able to switch in and out and between personas quite easily. But that the fall did things to his mind to make it all more difficult, for him to now be able to engage in this selective understanding, is what I figured.

But… maybe Simon’s right. Maybe he still really does understand everything they say, and is just faking it. He’s such a good actor that it really is hard to tell.

And maybe the simple fact is that it’s still easy for the phantom to switch between personas, it’s just difficult to switch out of them since he has so little sense of self. And maybe that’s just the way it always has been and the fall didn’t actually change that.

Sam’s personhood hinges on how “conscious” the phantom is while Sam is in place. The less the phantom is actually present (selective hearing etc), the more “Sam” is just Sam. But it’s later implied (more than once I think) that the phantom really is just, conscious while he is Sam, and that being “brought out” is not such an immense struggle as it otherwise could be. And yet, at the same time, the narrative seems to want to tilt us in favour of acknowledging Sam as a… a person, his own person. Of sorts. And… I guess it makes sense(?). During the whole of Dual Destinies, even if every action taken by “Bobby” was consciously chosen by the phantom… Those actions were all taken for a reason, all matching up to the consistent persona “Bobby Fulbright”. Both “Bobby” and the phantom would make a choice or engage in a behaviour for the most part, even if the reasoning was different at times they were united on the action itself. Sam is… kind of the same? He is the spitting image of what used to be a real human being, all of his outward actions and behaviours (are intended to) replicate that human being. By cobbling together some approximation of a real person like this, it is perhaps easier to treat them like a real person if they behave in all intents and purposes as such. Especially considering the circumstances. There’s a constant duality going on which I guess is what we’re supposed to settle on? The phantom never really goes away, he’s always there behind the scenes. But Sam’s there too, and we gotta treat him as real or things kinda just fall apart, really. There’s also much to be said for how Sam’s personhood is as much constituted to the extent that it’s acknowledged by those around him, too. We can’t just look at it on its own. It’s also something that’s made more “real” by others treating it and to an extent acknowledging it as real. Even if, in the very end, there might be nothing truly behind it.

THERE IT IS. Right off the bat, I just gotta say: the phantom is really channelling his inner Franziska. XD. Addressing characters by their FULL NAMES. I noticed it quite a bit in the sense that it is, very consistent within his speech pattern, almost making it a kind of “character trait” of a man who himself claims to have no real character. But of course – it makes it stand out all the more when switching to “Prosecutor Blackquill” instead.

”If you attempt to lay a hand on Sam Specter a second time, I will not hesitate to interfere and protect him.”

Here it is, the phantom himself almost treating Sam like a completely separate person… I… don’t think he would have taken this approach before the fall. Hmm. BUT ALSO. Here he’s also implying that he is conscious enough while behaving as Sam to be able to “not hesitate to interfere and protect him”. Hmm!

“Watch your tongue before I cut it off,” he hissed. “I would never lay a hand on Fulbright.” “… See that you don’t.”

Me: I WELL AND TRULY DO NOT UNDERSTAND AT ALL, WHAT IS GOING ON, the phantom is protective of Bobby, well and truly his brain was influenced by that fall.

Simon really is/was in the exact same boat, honestly.

Now we have the smuggling ring brought up, the March 2019 exposure referenced, another reference to how there was a mole in interpol before… And I was kind of like, “hm! You know! There’s a certain character this brings to mind, yet unfortunately they’re nowhere in sight. Kinda really sucks they’re not a character in this fic series, honestly!” Yes, such a shame, really.

”[…] That’s why we need to expose the involvement of Lex Luster […]”

Me, reading this for the first time: Wait. Lex… Le…x. Huh. That’s… for some reason, that name rings a bell. Ah – that’s right. This “Lex”, he’s quite an important character, isn’t he? From what tiny random scraps of information I’ve seen about this fic series (from years ago!)… Yes. I’m pretty sure that this “Lex” character will be showing up quite a lot going forward.

...Well, I wasn’t wrong.

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notdeadjack · 8 years ago

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annual rec list: 2017 edition

18 Fandoms represented:

Voltron: 85 fics Haikyuu!!: 8 fics Avatar: The Last Airbender: 1 fic Yuri!!! on Ice: 2 fics Naruto: 2 fics Star Trek: 8 fics Boku no Hero Academia: 9 fics Marvel: 8 fics Big Hero 6: 1 fic Teen Wolf: 100 fics Star Wars: 5 fics Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: 5 fics Harry Potter: 3 fics Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog: 2 fics Dream Daddy: a Dad Dating Simulator: 3 fics Lucifer: 1 fic Stranger Things: 1 fic Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency: 3 fics

247 fics, under the cut!

(to those of you the “read more” doesn’t work for: I am so sorry.)

If you find any dead links, incorrect/missing information or if you’re the author of a fic and want me to remove the link from this list, please contact me and I’ll take care of it :D

Voltron

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9557762 Lonely (But Not When You Hold Me) by SouthernBird 4k, Lance/Shiro, h/c,

It’s an unsettling thing, something sickening that doesn’t sit well at all, almost as if he should have noticed the lack of presence earlier. Wary as he is to admit it, there’s a tiny voice of longing that dances in his chest through the silence of the corridor he’s standing in, as if the lack of the warmth of Lance’s presence has made him cold.

(A bit of a fix-it story after Episode 8/10 of VLD: Season Two!)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9550874 A Good Day to Slack Off by UnknownAuthorPerson 3k, gen, fluff, team bonding, truth or dare,

It definitely wasn't how Shiro planned his day, but finding his teammates playing Truth or Dare was probably better than going through another day of rigorous training.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9137215 burn and break by epiproctan 2k, Keith-centric, smut, tentacles,

Keith follows some local alien tips on how to work off his frustration.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8655217 Just Like Sunlight by literal_trashbaby 3k, Keith/Lance, fluff, pining,

when Lance found Keith milling near the fringes of the crowd and made some lame joke, he was expecting the usual snide remark, or at least that somewhat endearing incomprehension that bordered on naïveté. instead, Keith laughed. Keith laughed, and Lance’s world turned on its end.

OR: Keith laughs at a corny joke and Lance Was Not Prepare(TM)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9124741 Too Busy Being Yours by Resamille 10k, Keith/Lance, pining, alcohol,

Keith is in love, Lance is a mess, and maybe things might actually work out for once.

(alternatively: Keith pines, the stars are pretty, music boxes, Pidge can't hold their alcohol, lasers, and Blue is going to disown Lance after this.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9035474 Slowly, Surely by needchocolatenow 3k, Lance/Shiro, AU, pining,

Shiro is tasked with an assignment to deliver important cargo to Altea. Lance is his second.

Or, the fic in which Shiro and Lance take a road trip through space in an unfortunately named shuttle.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8408143 A Kiss is a Kiss (But it's never like this) by GibbousLunation 25k, Keith/Lance, 5+1, slow burn, h/c, injuries,

“How does this keep happening to us, every time.” Lance grumbled.

“You’d think they’d stop sending us on away missions,” he agreed. Honestly, between the poisonous plants of their last planet, and Lance’s tendency to always end up on the business end of every blaster or pointy ended stick, Allura was just being inefficient at this point.

Or, five times Keith kissed Lance but the situation was less than ideal, and one time Lance finally kissed him back.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8152486 Heatwaves on Autopilot by WhatTheBodyGraspsNot 56k, Keith/Lance, sex pollen, dubious consent, slow burn,

Keith and Lance unknowingly inhale an alien aphrodisiac during a simple resource retrieval mission. But unlike the common aphrodisiac, this particular one reactivates under certain unknown conditions, later leaving them craving in situations that don't necessarily present them with many options. Keith tries to work through it, concerned with the sudden lack of control of his body, until he realizes the same thing is happening to Lance. So...great. How are they supposed to deal with this, keep it a secret, AND tend to the thousands of other responsibilities that come with defending the universe? (Together, of course.)

As someone who LOVES the sex pollen trope, let me tell you this fic is perfection. it has continuous sex pollen! and feelings! :D :D :D

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8628142 Bedroom Hymns by Bosstoaster Smut (ChaoticReactions) 26k, Shiro/Everyone, smut, aphrodisiacs, biting, fucking machine, D/s elements, body modifications,

His arm wasn't the only thing the Galra changed. They also gave him certain... needs.

Shiro learns to make it work for him.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7491141 Lost and Found by battleshidge (Amiria_Raven) 75k, Shiro/Pidge, slow burn, pining,

The dashed line from their current location to the box was labeled 00:02:47:29:12. Two hours, forty-seven minutes, twenty-nine seconds, twelve milliseconds.

In just under three hours, they would be headed away from the last known location of Sam and Matt Holt.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8101003 BloodCam by hollo 116k, Keith/Lance, AU, blood play, self harm, cutting, cam show, asexual character, paraphilia, minor stalking by secondary character,

It was Pidge who drew his attention to it, groaning at the pop up ad that had somehow broke through their ad blocker. “What sort of depraved bullshit is that,” She grumbled as she closed the window, but not before the site’s name was ingrained on Keith’s brain -DarkSinCams - along with a tempting teaser shot of a graceful neck pinched harshly in a prong collar. Exactly the type of bullshit that piques my interests, Keith thought.

As an asexual with a thing for blood, let me tell you this fic is one that I never thought I’d ever get to read, a part of me that i never, even in my wildest fantasies, dared to think would ever get representation. Even if it deals with such a dark, dangerous kink that is arguably neither safe nor sane, it NEVER does so in a sleazy or creepy way. And, since Keith is asexual, it is sexual in a way where it’s not sexual at all? idk, i can’t really explain it. But, it is hella good and i love it.

Do take note of the warnings tho, if graphic self harm and cutting is a trigger for you, give this one a pass, yeah?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9102247 strength of the small by nowweareunstoppable 12k, gen, h/c, graphic injury, BAMF!Pidge,

A false distress signal lands the paladins in a tough situation. It falls to Pidge to earn their freedom, and it doesn't come without a dangerous cost.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9067054 String Theory by kingkoganes (noero) 4k, Keith/Lance, accidental soul bond, frottage, first time,

The prospect of piloting the Red Lion had excited Lance at first, even if the mere thought of abandoning the Blue Lion made him uneasy. In hindsight, that should have been his first clue that something was bound to go wrong. Omnipresent robot lions were usually right about these things.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9081937 Stir by wynnebat 4k, Pidge/Shiro/Keith, threesome, first time,

Shiro, Keith, and Pidge find each other after the battle with Zarkon. It's finding the others that's the problem. And boredom.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9197414 How Far Will You Go For Your Leader by WashiPuppy 24k, Lance/Shiro, Lance/OMC, dub-con, consensual voyeurism, marking,

"You would throw yourself at my mercy his place?" The Druid asked with a curious tilt to her head, "And what would I do with you?"

"You could do anything you wanted with me, Babe. Just tell me what you want." Lance heard himself say low, sultry, and entirely without his rational brain intervening. He could practically hear the minds of the Galra in the room grinding to a halt.

Great, now when the rest of the team rescued Shiro, he'd have to tell them "Lance died after flirting with the enemy. There was nothing I could do. I think we all knew this was inevitable."

"You should be throwing yourself upon the Commander's mercy, not mine," The Druid stood and grinned down at Lance.

Ah well, what was the french saying? 'When the wine is drawn, you have to drink it' or something. He leaned slightly to give him direct line of sight to the Commander.

"You could do anything you wanted with me, Babe. Just tell me what you want." Lance repeated in the same sultry tone.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8495119 popping tags by ladyfnick 8k, Keith/Lance/Shiro, clothes sharing,

Sweaters are basically communal items, right? Lance has some unusual habits when it comes to other peoples things. In that he keeps accidentally stealing them. Whoops? Keith doesn't have that excuse.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9157693 Objects in Motion (When Unbalanced) by Mytay 37k, Keith/Lance, slow burn, pining,

Lance and Keith are constantly being mistaken for a couple. Lance is highly offended. Keith is quietly outraged.

Pidge decides if she can’t have peace, then she can write an epic scientific dissertation on the romantic failings of two exceptionally dense paladins.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7836556 Fake It Til You Make It by nikkiRA 26k, Keith/Lance, fake dating, pining, sex pollen,

“No, it’s not that –” Keith tries to backtrack. “We just – we –” he isn’t sure what he’s going to say, he just knows he has to say something before he and Lance are forced to have sex with some weird alien species, while also keeping the weird alien king happy enough to create an alliance with them.

But not for the first time and not for the last, Lance pulls through.

Of course, this time pulling through almost gives Keith a heart attack, because Lance slips his fingers through Keith’s so that they’re holding hands.

“What Keith here means to say,” Lance says, and although his voice is steady, he is gripping Keith’s fingers so tightly it’s painful. “Is that we can’t mate with your people, although we, um, appreciate the offer, because, well. We already are. M-mated, I mean. With, you know. Each other.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9301076 in stasis by ilgaksu 26k, Keith/Lance, injury, physical disability, artificial intelligence,

The story starts like this: with a story where you think you know the end, until it turns out you don’t, until it turns out you didn’t have a clue.

In which for three months of Lance McClain's life, he lives as an AI, waiting for his prosthetics to come online. It goes about as well as expected.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9355586 monachopsis by DJBunn3 7k, Keith/Lance, pining,

It’s not that family-like situations make Keith uncomfortable, per se. He enjoys spending time with his fellow paladins and the Alteans, obviously. And in a way, they’re almost like a real family. Shiro and Allura are like the parents, and Hunk and Pidge are the younger siblings, mischievous and playful. That makes him and Lance the twins, polar opposites and incredibly similar at the same time, and always arguing over something. And no, he hasn’t thought much about this at all. So obviously he’s got no problem with families. They’re fine, even great. Just because he never had one before, doesn’t mean he’s made uncomfortable by them.

But now? Now that he’s witnessing Lance’s charisma firsthand once again, watching his easy interactions with complete strangers that Keith can only hope to achieve with Shiro and the others, he feels strangled and alone. His heart thumps unevenly in his chest. He’s opened the can of worms in his head that he swore he’d never touch again, and now they’re just crawling around his brain.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9379301 I Got You by dumpsterdiva 7k, Keith/Lance, pining, h/c,

What do you do when you’re an overemotional kind-of-smol teen who likes engaging physical and emotional fisticuffs BUT NOW your crush is feeling insecure because of you??? Compliment him until he sUBMITS. THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM MY LOVE.

Lance is a self-sacrificing idiot and Keith is #done and frankly so am I

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9519404 All My Reasons Why by tylerproposey 11k, Keith/Lance, slow burn, pining,

But what if Keith's favorite color isn't red...what if it's blue.

Keith who has never really had a favorite color. Then one day at the Garrison he catches a glimpse of Lance's eyes and it stops him in his tracks for that moment.

"That's it?" He realizes, "That's my favorite color,"

It starts off as an infatuation, nothing more than admiration for the entrancing blue eyed boy. It turns into a crush - something he’s never had - and suddenly every shade of blue reminds him of Lance. It ends with love, something deep and turbulent, really he never stood a chance.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9462965 from the mouths of liars by csoru 7k, Keith/Lance, Galra!Keith, xeno, rough sex, under negotiated kink,

“Dude,” says Lance — foolishly, because it means he has to breathe and now if they get sucked out into the vacuum of space, he’ll suffocate — “Are you mutating? Is this going to be the kind of deal where you get all messed up and turn into a horrible monster?”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8474725 He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus 64k, Keith/Lance, AU, dragons, injury, h/c, slow burn, kidnapping,

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed...and so are the true monsters.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9645266 Practice Makes Perfect by ryuuou 2k, Hunk/Lance, mild dub-con, blow jobs,

Lance goes to Hunk for some help on studying for extra credit.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9713744 i just want you to know who i am by Kyoshu_Koi 10k, Keith/Lance, AU, soul mates,

"It's you!" Keith screamed, "It's always been you."

Or the fic where I combine every possible soulmate au together into one big mess

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9722156 We're Onto Something by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) 3k, Hunk/Lance, cuddling,

Over their years of friendship, Lance and Hunk slept pressed together many times. All that changed were the places.

Until things did change.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9964355 Pollination by Saucery 4k, Hunk/Lance, sex pollen,

In which a species of alien flower plays matchmaker.

Or, the obligatory sex pollen story.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9623936 Make Me Your Home by Reader115 38k, Keith/Lance, pining, galra!keith,

“Oh my god, Keeeith,” Lance wheezed. “Keith you’re the best drunk space cadet I’ve ever seen.”

“Space cadet,” Keith mumbled. He repeated the words again although his eyes had zeroed in on Lance’s hands and Lance offered no resistance when Keith picked one of them up and pulled it possessively towards his lap. He began to gently trace over Lance’s fingers, sending shivers up Lance’s arm and down his spine. “You have looong fingers,” Keith murmured after a few moments.

Keith’s face perked up then, as if he’d just had a brilliant idea, and Lance could almost not wait to hear what new obscure thought had entered Keith’s pretty head. He was prepared to laugh, and instead found himself shivering again as Keith leaned far into his personal bubble, lips practically touching Lance’s ear when he spoke next.

“I bet you could reach all kinds of things, Lance.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9782123 Closer by Carvingknife 17k, Hunk/Keith/Lance,

Keith understood that he was expected to bond with the other paladins, but he never expected Hunk and Lance to edge their way in as far as they did. Enemies, he could handle, but emotions. . . not so much. He entertained the option of ignoring the way his heart pounded all together, but one inebriated slip-up later, and the walls began to crumble. Suddenly, Lance is in trouble and Keith has to put confronting his feelings on hold in order to work with Hunk to get him back.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10020137 speechless by scriveyner (trismegistus) 1k, Lance/Shiro, pining, blow jobs,

Keith was the same as ever in training, in sparring - his violet eyes narrowed in concern when he was able to throw Shiro and pin him to the mat; he had one palm on Shiro's heaving chest and weirdly that touch sent electric tremors down Shiro's spine. "You all right?" he asked, and Shiro's chest heaved.

No, he wasn't.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9630806 There's a love I've been keeping inside; by kirargent 10k, Hunk/Keith/Lance,

Keith thinks, utterly certain of himself: Lance likes him, too. Lance likes Hunk, too.

And that’s just fucking annoying. Leave it to Lance to make Keith’s life even more complicated.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9768674 starlight by scriveyner (trismegistus) 873 words, Lance/Shiro, pwp,

It turned out that there were a lot of things about Lance Shiro didn't expect.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9569120 Not The Human Definition Of Normal by BrOwNiEfOx 2k, gen, 4+1, non-consensual body modification,

Four times the paladins noticed things Shiro gained during his time as a Galran prisoner and one time he got to rest and it didn't matter.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9853094 Like a Bolt from the Blue by Mytay 5k, Keith/Lance,

Keith has a near-death experience, but he’s actually pretty okay afterwards — he considers it all part of the Paladin calling. Lance, on the other hand, is wrecked by it, and so he trains his butt off to ensure that Keith will never die on his watch.

Or, as I originally posted on my Tumblr: Keith unintentionally spies on Lance in the training room ...

… where the Blue Paladin is kicking ass. And Keith’s kind of mesmerized by it. Then he’s more than mesmerized — he’s freaking out because he’s actually kinda sorta into this brutally efficient soldier version of Lance.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9817643 Junkyard Gods by warschach 28k, Keith/Lance, AU, greek mythology - modern setting,

What happened to old, forgotten gods?

They moved to L.A. apparently

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9904898 Hold me close by percyinpanties 4k, Lance/Shiro, BDSM,

Shiro takes Lance apart in the best way possible, only to put him back together.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9913883 Heavy, Gentle Hand by aurumdalseni (kyo_chan) 2k, Hunk/Shiro,

Hunk trusts Shiro with his life, but he can't really trust Shiro with his own life. He makes it a point to step in to take care of his leader.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10025414 Come Back (as pure as gold) by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) 3k, gen, time travel, bittersweet,

When Shiro steps out of his lion after the final battle with Zarkon, something is off.

Seems like he missed something. Ten years of it.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9959891 Count On Me by st4rlabsforever (omaken) 5k, Hunk/Keith,

It’s not until a couple of weeks after the Weblum incident that Hunk realizes how much time he and Keith have been spending together lately.

Or, rather, it’s not really spending time together per se, just that Keith seems to always wind up wherever Hunk is in the evenings, whether he’s cooking up a late night snack in the kitchen or lounging in the common room with a bowl of Altean cracklepops and a movie.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9820193 All About that Space by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) 6k, Hunk/Shiro, AU, pining, secret admirer,

After an accident that cost him his arm and his position on the first manned Mars mission, Shiro transfers to work at the Jet Propulsion Lab. Shortly after, Hunk gains a secret admirer.

These facts are probably coincidental.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9727223 Rushing To Say Nothing by LynnLarsh 36k, Keith/Lance, mild dub-con, alien brothels, angst, pining,

“What the hell was that?” Keith says, sounding strangely pissed. Probably jealous; whatever happened, Lance is a lucky son of a bitch and Keith knows it.

Coran clears his throat before answering, and when Lance finally pulls his eyes away from the crowd, that purplish blush from earlier has increased to a noticeable shade of violet across his cheeks. “It seems our boy Lance here has just been propositioned by the local brothel.”

A.k.a. That time Lance went into an alien brothel to prove a point and came out perhaps a little too enlightened.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10026671 a truth in the blood by angstinspace 7k, Keith/Lance, missing scene, galra!keith,

“I’m Galra, Lance.”

It's the first time he's said those words out loud––and to Lance of all people. He should feel horrified at himself but somehow, he doesn't. In fact, an eerie calmness has settled over him. Everything comes sharply into focus as he stands there, still holding Lance's wrist, breathing in and out, waiting for a response.

A post "Blade of Marmora" fix-it fic. Mostly broganes & klance bonding.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10088447 Hot Like Magenta by Methoxyethane 14k, Keith/Lance, galra!keith, heat, marathon sex, xenophilia,

“I’m just saying it might be a little early to dismiss the possibility that you might be… you know.” He gestured to Keith’s alien junk as a whole. “In heat, or something?”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8365993 electromagnetic by seabear 25k, Keith/Lance, pining, fake dating,

Lance spends a lot of time wondering about his place in the universe. And his place with Keith. Oh, also there’s a heist and some fake dating.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7797733 Entangled by mackerelmademedoit 101k, Keith/Lance, telepathic bond, pining,

When Keith found himself mentally linked to Lance of all people, he never thought that it would end in anything but irritation and misery on both sides. He certainly never imagined that it would be a useful asset in team Voltron's fight against the Galra Empire. Now if he can just keep his feelings in check, they might actually have a chance at defeating Zarkon.

Needless to say, when he'd wished for a 'bonding moment' with Lance, this wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind.

This is a fresh take on the mind meld/telepathic bond/mental link trope, and i enjoy v much

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8549284 Closer to Your World by CastleSL 29k, Lance/Shiro, canon AU, role swap, pining,

Students will be carefully selected and tested for the opportunity to fly out to Kerberos for scientific research. Only one student may be selected. Application and Testing will commence during the third trimester, June 21XX.

There was more on the page, statistics and requirements and more details, but it was legit. The flyer was printed on standard Garrison announcement paper, the document signed by the Dean and board of directors. The chance to go to Kerberos. Hunk took a moment to think, then clapped his hand on Lance’s back, smiling.

“Well, I’m rooting for ya, buddy.” He said, and Lance beamed like that was all he needed in the world.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10371303 theorycrafting by glhf 3k, Lance/Pidge, pre-canon, unrequited crush,

Katie overthinks it. At least Lance is oblivious, and not interested. Pre-canon, set during the semester at Galaxy Garrison.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9816713 Kiss the Rain by robotjellyfish 7k, Lance/Shiro,

After another mission where Lance gets tricked by the enemy and captured Lance is feeling pretty down his usual insecurities getting the better of him. Shiro is determined to show him he's not as useless as he thinks he is.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10088642 Small Fierce Things by playswithworms 5k, gen, injury, PTSD,

Pidge is badly injured. Shiro does his best to angst over it, but is foiled.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9924476 Catch & Release by anonymous_scapegoat 2k, gen,

Some Galra grunt makes the mistake of putting Pidge and Lance in the same cell. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10057184 Stuck on You by carpemermaid 25k, Keith/Lance, forced proximity, pining,

Go to Thalgor, Coran had said. It will be easy, he’d said. Well, it wasn’t easy being literally stuck to his rival thanks to getting exposed to some stupid alien plant in the middle of a humid jungle, after hiking all day with said rival. Lance and Keith just have to make it through two weeks of being around each other constantly, with their arms glued together, before they can go their separate ways. But first, they’ll need to make it through sharing a room and learning how to live on top of each other until they’re free.

oh hey look, it’s my favourite trope: forced proximity~

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10091792 Pendulum by noero 5k, Keith/Lance, rough sex,

The funny thing about falling for someone is you don't even realize you're falling until you hit the ground.

It just happens that when Lance falls, he hits hard.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9608048 It Takes a Village by Zemmiphobia 18k, Thace/Ulaz, canon-AU, fluff, kid fic, grooming,

One decision by an injured soldier changes not only the fate of the universe, but the fate of her young son.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10053452 Got Your Back - Platonic VLD Week Day #5 by hufflepirate 4k, gen, injury, h/c, cuddling,

The mission started going badly long before Shiro realized Lance was injured and trying to hide it. Now, stranded alone on a strange planet and completing their mission on foot while they wait for the lions to self-repair, Shiro also has to figure out how badly Lance is hurt, why his uniform isn't healing him, and what to do about it.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10553376 Antiparticles by yourfaveisproblematic 3k, Pidge/Shiro,

an·ti·par·ti·cle Noun. A subatomic particle having the same mass as a given particle but opposite electric or magnetic properties. Every kind of subatomic particle has a corresponding antiparticle, e.g., the positron has the same mass as the electron but an equal and opposite charge.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10431945 After Me Comes the Flood by Qpenguin98 25k, Keith/Lance, trans character, h/c,

The interior of this ship is cold and boring. The Galran soldiers that try to bond with you are cold and boring. Zarkon is cold and boring.

You are sick of being cold and bored.

A story following the Red Lion.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10540689 Touchdown by InsominiacArrest 4k, Keith/Lance, bondage, spanking,

Lance starts to get hot and bothered by the fact Keith sometimes gives out congratulatory ass slaps, and it becomes an issue when they start dating and it's hard for Lance to ask for what he wants.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10540284 Hot in Here by SugarSweetRascal 5k, Keith/Lance, dub-con, rough sex,

Lance and Keith have been pining after each other, so much so that their lions are thrown into full blown estrus. Will the paladins survive going into heat, or find a way to quench their thirst for one another?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8104807 Infection by 5557 73k, Keith/Lance, horror, injury, drowning, slow burn, fluff,

While exploring an alien planet, Lance is nearly killed by a mysterious monster. Now he's convinced that he is infected with an alien sickness. Why doesn't anyone believe him? It must be Keith's fault.

This is a horror-comedy (but like, also a romance?), and I drew pictures.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10411245 The Doctor Is In by InterdictedKai, minus___zero 10k, Lance/Shiro, AU, trans character, medical kink,

Lance had always hated going to the doctors for anything to do with his reproductive biology. But transitioning and other medical issues meant that Lance had spent more than his fair share of hours around doctors. It wasn’t until he was nineteen and having serious pain issues that his local GP finally referred him to the Gynaecology department at the hospital in the next town over. Fortunately for Lance, it wasn't that far of a drive. Unfortunately for Lance, his doctor turned out to be young and hot. Fortunately for Lance, that doctor thinks Lance is temptingly hot as well.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9559535 Running Flat by SKayLanphear 11k, Keith/Lance, pining, crushes,

Lance, like all the other paladins, is finally getting used to the “mind meld” they all have to indulge in when controlling their lions. Until someone’s uncontrollable crush comes in and knocks them all back in surprise. It’s a crush that circles persistently through their thoughts and only gets stronger as time goes on, until they begin to realize this might be a bit more serious than the term “crush” implies.

Meanwhile, the unfortunate paladin behind it all is trying desperately to bury the feelings away, yet failing at every turn.

oh gosh this is so cute

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10450977 Reach out for you (break these walls) by Utsukushin (UserFromPluto) 9k, Keith/Lance, h/c, past abuse, touch starved, fluff,

Keith is trying to make himself smaller, to bury his head deeper in his knees, and Lance’s heart freezes in his chest. Anger dissipating like an exploded firework, Lance lets his hand fall limply to his side, mind blurring with static. When he tries to speak, nothing comes out but a choked noise, so he tries again.

“Keith,” he breathes. “Keith I’m not going to hurt you.”

(Keith has an abusive past, but with time and care Lance helps him become accustomed to positive touch.)

This fic was inspired by my fan art (!!!?!) and i’m still screaming about it ngl it’s amazing go read iiiit

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10465326 Katie by gemiinous 5k, Pidge-centric, coming out, trans character,

"I'm a girl."

The reactions from the team should have made her feel better. They should have eased the months of dysphoria and anxiety, should have made her smile and relax into her own skin once more.

Instead, the casual acceptance--and even incredulity, were they even supposed to believe that she was a boy to begin with?--just left her off balance and whirling.

-OR-

Pidge slowly comes to terms with the idea that gender might not be as cut-and-dry as she thought it was.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10906425 Crushing Hard by donutwolf 15k, Hunk/Lance, wrestling, size kink, body worship,

Lance has a crush. But also, Lance wants to get crushed.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10842192 the potential of you and me by Katranga 15k, Keith/Lance, AU, first time,

“And then other times,” Lance said. “I’m just, like, dying to know what a mouth would feel like around my dick.” Keith choked on air and said, with absolutely no go-ahead from his brain, “I have a mouth.” Half-laughing, Lance said, “Is that an offer?” He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes. His throat was dry. “Is that an acceptance?” -- The summer after freshman year of college, Lance drags Keith back to their hometown to hang out. But the two of them rarely spend time together without Hunk and Pidge around, because things had a way of getting out of hand real quick. This summer is... no different.

make sure to read the reddit post this fic was inspired by. it’s precious~

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10713636 I Like It When You Touch Me by emogod669 2k, Lance/Shiro, smut,

“I know, but tell me anyway.” Lance pouts and damn, Shiro’s weak just like that.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10379589 Songbird by Faequeen40 105k, Keith/Lance, injury, non-consensual body modification, h/c,

After an ambush on a strange planet, Lance gets captured in Keith's place. Will the others be able to rescue him before Lotor breaks his new prize?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10776273 wipe these stars from my eyes by scriveyner (trismegistus) 10k, Lance/Shiro,

Lance flung his arms out and yelled, "I did not sleep with Shiro!"

There was a long moment of silence as the last of Lance's words hung in the early morning air. "So ... you were just naked in his tent when I walked in, then," Pidge said. "Yes!"

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10767930 Public Displays of Affection by JessenoSabaku 19k, Hunk/Lance/Pidge, voyeurism,

Lance and Hunk have been hooking up since the Garrison days. They usually manage to keep their business private, but when Lance gets in the mood, there's no stopping him. Thanks to that, Pidge caught them getting it on in the showers, and ever since then she's gotten more and more distant. Now Lance has to find a way to close the rift between them.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10892712 Lusty Dust by Brewrites 5k, Pidge/Hunk, sex pollen, mutual masturbation,

Pidge and Hunk are on an alien soulmate planet and have been blasted with sex pollen. Pidge for the second time on the strange planet.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10888098 In the Still of the Night by zombiegardener 17k, Lance/Shiro, slow burn, PTSD,

Sleepless nights can wear you down. But sometimes they can also be the start of something beautiful.

Or how to build a relationship you didn't even know you wanted in sleepless nights and stolen moments.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10883565 small parts of something big by TEARSoverBEERS 4k, Lance/Shiro,

“Yeah, no one's gonna be like 'oh, Shiro is in love with me, we gotta date now', just in theory, which one of us do you find the most dateable.” Lance agrees. --------------

Aka. the Paladins are stuck in a fight over who is more dateable and somehow Shiro get himself wrapped up in that (and then in Lance)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10927908 Jaded by Creepofish 8k, Lance/Shiro, injury,

Shiro is the leader of Voltron. He is the strength and the calm in the face of the thundering storm of the Galra. Lance is someone Shiro doesn't quite understand. Shiro is someone Lance wants to understand with all of his heart.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10935372 You Always Say the Stupidest Shit by mischiefmanager 13k, Keith/Lance, first time, fuck buddies, bickering,

"I know what your problem is," Lance interrupts, pointing a finger at him and smirking as though he's just personally discovered the deepest secret of the universe. God only knows why Keith stops talking then, but in hindsight, he wishes he'd have just gotten louder.

"You need to get laid," Lance announces.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10698537 the anchor by Sarolonde 1k, Lance/Shiro, h/c,

Lance can feel the anger burning within, sizzling and searing through his veins like explosive fuses networking through his body. The spark that lit the match had been Pidge’s agonised cries and screams, the destruction that shattered through her armour and broke her body in horrible unknown ways. She should never have been there, if they had have just listened to him…

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10312844 Something Just Like This by Sarolonde 40k, Lance/Shiro, AU,

[19:09] Lance glad my photos were accidentally sent 2 a nice guy like u <3 thank u for not being a creep [19:22] Shiro Uh, you’re welcome. I guess? I don’t know what else I would have even done with the situation. [22:11] Lance u innocent sweet angel unicorn ^_^ g’night kind sir *tips hat* [22:13] Shiro Goodnight, Interesting Stranger.

The wonderful, unexpected consequences of Lance sending partially-nude pictures of himself to a stranger.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10522167 For the World to See by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) 10k, Lance/Shiro, AU,

In which Lance is a dork for space, Shiro brought Lance's album with him to the ISS, and everyone else in their lives wishes they'd shut up about it for ten damn minutes.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10986474 in love again by Incertitude 10k, Lance/Shiro, power bottom!Lance,

when Lance's half baked prank causes an expected stir Lance is thoroughly pleased but the unexpected outcome is having Shiro inside his room unravelling Lance's buried feelings

the fic where Shiro says Keith's name during sex and provokes Lance into taking charge of the situation

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9630881 Black to Blue by PuppetMaster55 153k, Lance/Shiro, role swap, universe swap,

Lance, the undisputed (no longer, since he finally got the team to stop questioning his position like a month ago) leader of Voltron finds himself in the absolute strangest scenario: being the Blue Paladin.

Lance, still finding his place on team Voltron, wakes up to the weirdest world: one where he's the Black Paladin.

OR, I take a universe where Lance was always the Black Paladin and have him swap bodies with canon Lance, throwing both sets of teams for a trip.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11094996 Cradle me in your arms by WHUMPBBY 8k, Lance/Shiro, sex pollen,

“Shiro, I have an idea.” Hearing the vicious excitement in Lance’s voice, Shiro stopped his slow climb and sighed. “No, Lance, we will not set the tree on fire.” “How did you know?!” He was never quite sure how Lance could pitch his voice into the ‘angry teenager’ register even at the age of twenty. “Because I thought it through ten minutes ago and it’s too humid to light fire.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11986935 assess the situation by redlight 3k, Lance/Shiro, masochism, stuck in a wall,

Lance is stuck, Shiro tries to help, and hopefully this is all just some weird, perverted dream, 'cause Lance really can't handle this right now.

Voltron NSFW Week, day 5 prompt "tricks and traps."

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11974986 A Helping...Hand? by magisterpavus 13k, Lance/Tentacles, consentacles, h/c,

“It’s kinda cute,” Lance mused as the plant oozed blue slime all over his hand and wrapped a tiny green tendril around his thumb. “Aww, look!”

“Sure, cute, in a Cthulhu’s spawn sort of way,” Pidge muttered. “Put that thing back where it came from or so help me, Lance.”

“No way,” Lance said, holding the plant to his chest protectively. “I think it likes me.”

(DAY 8: FREE DAY - TENTACLES! )

http://archiveofourown.org/works/12345033 Keeping the Nightmares Away by MizuLeKitten 20k, Lance/Shiro, cuddling, h/c, PTSD,

Lance had had the occasional nightmare as a child, who hadn’t honestly, so having them while in space fighting against an alien tyrant hell bent on controlling the whole universe? At least some things were universal. As the nightmares persist, Lance takes to wandering the castle at night, and it appears he’s not the only one. After a chance run in with Shiro the two come to a simple agreement: If they can't sleep alone, why not try sleeping together?

If only things stayed that simple.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/12781515 Power and Control by Bosstoaster Smut (ChaoticReactions) 7k, Hunk/Shiro, dom/sub, collars, praise kink,

Shiro can't let go of the stress of the day. Hunk might have a solution.

Haikyuu!!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9280169 Routine by someonestolemyshoes 16k, Hinata/Kageyama, AU, porn, cam show,

Kageyama Tobio has a routine.

Up, shower, dress, breakfast, classes, practice, work, dinner, laptop, show time.

It’s simple, and it works for him. Kageyama has never been all that much interested in socialising—not to say he doesn’t like talking to people, but…honest, for the most part, he’d rather not be doing that—and there is comfort in a system that never changes. No matter what party he is invited to, what club meal or class drink or work social they try to wrangle him into, Kageyama does not cave, because the rest of his routine is waiting for him at home.

And if he’s late, he will miss it.

Hinata is a well-known cam boy, and Kageyama is his biggest fan.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9375023 Don't Mind, Don't Mind by runswithwolves (ConstantComment) 1k, Hinata/Kageyama, exhibitionism, public hand jobs, mild dub-con,

Shouyou has always been aware that Kageyama gets riled up after a win. Very, very aware.

While everyone else is practically knocked out from a match or, you know, four -- the team’s snores and silence palpable on the bus back home -- Shouyou’s heart races and he imagines he could run to Tokyo and back, and maybe after have go at a couple more rounds of spiking drills.

And Kageyama... well.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7972708 Some Other Name by Gemmiel 14k, Hinata/Kageyama, college roommates, pining, misunderstandings, jealousy,

Hinata and Kageyama are college roommates now, and Kageyama kind of wishes Hinata would call him by his given name every now and then. After all, they've been best friends for three years now, and aren't best friends supposed to call each other by their given names occasionally?

Not that he CARES, or anything. Except he does, sort of...

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7214293 I am what I am by Gilrael 40k, Ennoshita/Tanaka, AU, roomates, slow burn, demi character,

“Uh, hi. I'm Ennoshita Chikara,” he introduced himself with a shy little smile that made Ryū's heart skip a beat. “Tanaka Ryūnosuke,” he replied mechanically, stepping aside so that Ennoshita-san could enter the flat. “C-come i-in.” --- Chikara moves out, because he has enough of his shitty flatmate. Ryū happens to need a new flatmate.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6198364 campfire in your chest by deanpendragon 74k, Tsukishima/Yamaguchi, slow burn, pining, jealousy, UST,

Kei realizes in their second year of high school that he's probably been in love with Yamaguchi since they were ten. However hopeless he might be in handling that situation, Kei prays he's at least not as hopeless as Hinata and Kageyama. But he just might be.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9147199 The Video by Navybluewings 53k, Hinata/Kageyama, college, masturbation, dirty talk, slow burn, praise kink,

Kageyama Tobio knows that he and his roommate, Hinata Shouyou are low on cash. And he's aware that part of that is might be his fault. So when Hinata comes to their college dorm with the promise of a paycheck, Kageyama almost overlooks the video camera sitting in his spiker's hands. All he has to do is record whatever Hinata plans to do, right? How hard could that be?

Funny how one video could change everything.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11573157 Dragged into Your Pace by nebulia 8k, Hinata/Kageyama, dirty talk, praise kink,

[You’re incredible, Kageyama, Hinata had whispered that afternoon, straddling his waist, elbows on either side of Tobio’s head, and Tobio had gone cold and hot and cold all over, jerking like his strings had been cut. It had been so much. And giving Hinata that much leeway is scary, but Hinata’s also kind of gentle, sometimes. Like he knows how to handle the parts of Tobio that are fragile.]

The working title of this fic was “praise kink tobio,” which...pretty much covers it.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11240220 a game we both could win by kagome_angel 7k, Hinata/Kageyama, voyeurism, mutual masturbation,

If he were a decent guy, he’d pretend this wasn’t happening, but apparently he's not really a decent guy.

It's an accident, initially. But it spirals into something else, and it's incredibly easy to get lost in it.

(It's just a game, right?)

(Of course not.)

Avatar: The Last Airbender

http://archiveofourown.org/works/33751 The One Where the Fire Nation Clearly Loses by miarr 4k, Sokka/Zuko, frottage,

Okay, so there was a little scenario with the guards.

Yuri!!! on Ice

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8836096 From Almaty, With Love by BoxWineConfessions 71k, Otabek/Yuri, slow burn, pining,

It’s quiet here. Even if the car alarm on the neighbor’s goddamn BMW has been going off for the past twenty minutes. Quiet, even though the alarm’s got the neighbor’s dog howling like crazy, and the neighbor works second shift and isn’t there to comfort the dumb dog.

It’s quiet…They haven’t spoken to each other since that morning, when Yuri went off to go see his tutor, and Otabek went off to do whatever the hell it was he did in the mornings before he hit the rink.

“You’re used to the noise?”

“Yeah, but…I think I like the quiet too.”

Or: Yuri spends the summer with Otabek in Almaty.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9135670 all the world's a stage by braveten 112k, Victor/Yuuri, AU, anxiety,

Everyone has a guilty pleasure.

For Yuuri, it just happens to be romance movies starring famous heartthrob Victor Nikiforov.

(And, honestly, on the spectrum of guilty pleasures, he figures that his is on the far, far more innocent side.)

Naruto

http://archiveofourown.org/series/266068 blood of the covenant series by 100demons 15k, Sakura/Sai, developing relationship,

Sakura and Sai come home after the war.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5339486 reverse by blackkat 386k, Kurama/Kakashi, time travel, fix-it, slow burn,

To make a tragedy, you break something beautiful and frame the pieces. To make a victory, you break something mighty and rebuild it piece by piece. To make a life, you glue the pieces together and hope for the best. Kurama's still getting the hang of this ‘human’ thing, but given that he’s 30 years back in time with catastrophes to prevent and a blond brat to save, he’ll have to figure things out on the fly. Luckily, living with Naruto's been good for his ability to improvise, if nothing else.

an absolutely amazing read! masterfully plotted and perfectly balanced between action, character growth and fluff. i barely noticed the length tbh. contains more rare pair ships than the main one, all which i now ship. also, contains character deaths in the previous time line that is referenced often as the MC deals with the grief, but all in all it’s a lot ligther and fluffier than one expects.

Star Trek

TOS & AOS

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1179148 We Two Boys Together Clinging by rabidchild67 21k, Kirk/Spock, mission fic, h/c, kid fic, de-aging,

One day, 9-yr old Jim Kirk wakes up in the middle of nowhere with a big headache and no memory of how he got there. He’s not sure where he is, but it’s definitely not Earth, and there’s not another living soul around. Well, except for this other kid - an actual Vulcan! - who’s annoying at first, but turns out to be pretty useful to have around. Guess it’s time for the adventure of a lifetime he’s always wanted.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1731203 AT THE SAME STARS by spicyshimmy 136k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, slow burn,

First Officer Spock of the USS Enterprise is part of the away team that discovers the survivors of Tarsus IV. Captain Pike assigns him to the curious case of James Tiberius Kirk, who steals one of Spock's sweaters.

-There were no sufficient Vulcan poetics to describe the emptiness of the colony as it was found on the morning of stardate 2249.43. The fully-completed residential sector was neither ugly nor beautiful but simply remote; a hollow landscape of metal alloys and sensible architecture, with determined vegetation growing alongside the support beams. They did not flower.-

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1013237 Only Fools by museaway 63k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, h/c,

Spock has just graduated with highest honors from the Vulcan Science Academy when Nero destroys his planet. Lucky to escape with his life, he is bound for Earth on a rescue ship where he meets a strange fellow traveler: an elder version of himself. Disturbed by his counterpart's experiences in his own timeline, Spock vows never to follow the desires of his human half. But when a man named Jim Kirk comes into Spock's life, he's faced with a struggle to find the balance between Vulcan and human.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1011854 Measure of Happiness by writeonclara 38k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, roommates, slow build,

When Spock chose Starfleet over the Vulcan Science Academy, he had not anticipated cohabiting with the most illogical, irrational, emotional human he ever met.

On the flip side, Jim never asked for a Vulcan chaperone, especially one as snotty as Spock, son of Sarek.

A Starfleet Academy AU in which Spock adapts to human life, Jim learns very, very quickly never to play a prank on a Vulcan, and there are far too many people after Jim Kirk's life.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/883469 THE SUM OF BOTH OF US by spicyshimmy 207k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, kid-fic, slow build,

Jim Kirk is nine when a massacre on Tarsus IV leaves him without a family and without a home. Spock is twelve when a strange boy in the desert saves his sehlat. Families aren't born; they're made.

-The look in mother’s eyes at his correction remained a mystery long after the colors of the night sky and the complex patterns of distant nebulae had become translatable by means of distinct and relatively straightforward equations. -

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3896413 The prominence of a simple word by Exploding_Space 5k, /Kirk/Spock, pet names,

Captain Kirk keeps referring to his First Officer as “sweetheart”. He does it when they are in mortal peril, when he is bored, when he wants to be annoying. Neither expects the term of endearment to actually become dear to them.

~ response to the „Hey, sweetheart“ challenge. reposted here from the k/s archive

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9488996 Sha Ka Ree by ThereBeWhalesHere 180k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, slow burn, time travel, pining, bed sharing,

The year is 2258. Jim Kirk is a Lieutenant on the U.S.S. Farragut, Spock the science officer of the U.S.S. Enterprise. When the ships come together for a priority landing party, these two strangers find themselves fighting against the odds for a chance at life in an alien world, and the only way they'll make it through is by relying on each other.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10607232 Undiscovered Terrain by battybatzgirl 32k, Kirk/Spock, canon-AU, first contact, fluff,

After an attack on his ship from a Romulan warbird, prince Spock crash lands on a nearby primitive planet, directly into the backyard of one Jim Kirk.

Boku no Hero Academia

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6589822 Hitsuzen by Methoxyethane 10k, Midoriya/Todoroki, pre-slash,

He would have ended up falling for Izuku at some point no matter what, he was certain. No matter what path life took him down he'd have still ended up here, not because of anything as elaborate as destiny or fate but instead due to the simple fact of inevitability. Because Izuku was Izuku and Shouto liked just about everything about him, couldn't help but admire him and would always want to be around him, just for who he was.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10020833 the sunshine people by dellsey 12k, Kirishima/Bakugou, AU,

The shitty red hair, the bright orange tank top with the word ‘Zumba’ written across it in huge bold letters, the goddamn pants and the green sneakers. Talk about a fucking combo. “That’s not a lady,” Bakugou states, squinting at the dude. “That’s Kirishima. He’s the instructor,” Jirou simply replies.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10551482 downhill by eggstasy 5k, Kirishima/Bakugou,

Bakugou sleeping in the common areas like it’s no big deal seems to give everyone else permission to be just as bizarre, and little by little Kirishima starts learning things about his classmates he never knew.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11095629 Pure Morning by bigstupidjellyfish 10k, Kirishima/Bakugou, sex pollen, post-series,

a classic sex pollen fic with a dash of sad excuse of worldbuilding

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11227647 nothing has changed me quite like you by akhikosanada 10k, Midoriya/Todoroki, fluff, pining,

"Touching someone for the first time, Shouto found out, did not draw electricity or any other romanticized chemical reaction described in books and movies. It did, however, make his chest tighten harder than it ever had before, and as he drew the shape of lightning over Midoriya’s skin, his lips parted on an almost inaudible sigh. Midoriya’s breath caught in his throat, and Shouto wanted to catch it in his own mouth."

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11483757 Shudo by signifying_nothing 4k, Kirishima/Bakugou,

It was so easy to take someone who acts like Bakugou and write them off as just another overly-aggressive future villain. It was so easy, and that was why Kirishima hadn't done it. He'd refused. Bakugou was loud, and aggressive, and strong, but Kirishima knew bravado when he saw it, he knew what a person looked like when there was nothing on their mind but their pride and their self-esteem.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11286987 i want you to show me by crunchrapsupreme 3k, Kirishima/Bakugou, smut,

“I already told you, I’m not gonna break, you don’t have to go slow.”

“What if I want to, though?” Kirishima murmurs quietly. “What if I wanna take my time with you?”

Bakugou shivers.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11725113 get tough, straight up by qactus 11k, Kirishima/Bakugou,

Then again, Kirishima never had this Bakugou Katsuki thing under control—probably everyone's known that, too.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/12886323 Katsuki VS Friendship by downtownfishies 13k, Kirishima/Bakugou,

Katsuki knew he was an asshole. He just wasn't used to being so bothered by it.

Marvel

all the franchise

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7396714 Angel of the Morning by iFlail, Jenetica 49k, Peter/Wade, canon-AU, slow burn, deadpool as a warning,

"Peter sucks in a breath and hides his face with a sip of cocoa. Aunt May repeating his own idea back to him cements it in his mind. Deadpool needs a friend more than anyone else in the world right now, and Peter’s job is to protect people. Even if that means protecting them from themselves.

He’s going to be the best fucking friend Deadpool ever had, even if it kills him. Which it very well might."

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6260548 Damage by dontcareajot 42k, Peter/Wade, h/c, slow burn,

Peter Parker finds himself in a sticky situation and who should show up to rescue him but the infamous Deadpool? Now Peter feels indebted to the mercenary... And maybe weirdly charmed by him.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6148600 5 Times Peter was Having Issues (And 1 Time He Wasn't) by VyxenSkye 16k, Peter/Wade, 5+1,

.... And How Wade Was Involved in Each One

A random '5 times' fic. Peter getting into trouble and Wade being there to get him out of it.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4720682 Project Phoenix by TheAvalonian 73k, Bucky/Steve, slow burn, pining, kid fic (kinda),

“They told me you were enemies,” the girl said blankly. “They told me I had been forged in hatred.”

Neither Bucky nor Steve said anything for a long time. The girl stayed with her hand pressed to the glass, waiting. This time, the question was there, even if she hadn't asked it outright.

Bucky cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from Steve's and pushing down on the handle. “Well, they lied,” he said gruffly, and strode out the door without looking back. (Post-TWS, Steve and Bucky's lives are just starting to resemble some kind of normal when a young Hydra agent shows up in the lobby of the Avengers' Tower, claiming to be their daughter.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3135464 Peter Parker's Home for the Wayward Villain by BeanieBaby 90k, Peter/Wade, canon-AU, fluff, protective bad guys,

A really long redemption story.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3903769 Bad Lines by DustToDust 11k, Clint/Pietro,

It's Tony's fault. Someway, somehow, Clint just knows that the man is behind this new level of annoyance.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4102126 Music to my Ears by astheoceanfalls 13k, Clint/Pietro, deaf character, prank war,

“This music is awful. You have old man taste.” Pietro looked serious, but his eyes were lit up with mischief.

Clint did splutter this time. “This is it. I’m going to educate you on Real Music.”

Or, the one where Clint flirts with Pietro by forcing classic rock on him, and Pietro has no choice but to retaliate.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9819023 What Pals Do by basilique 4k, Steve/Bucky, pre-serum,

Bucky's lips are soft, and his breath is hot as he pants against Steve's neck.

“It’s just what pals do…other fellas do it too, they gotta. I bet you there's no fella in the world who hasn't...who hasn't with his best friend. Just…just kiss me, Steve. Don’t worry.”

Big Hero 6

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3498686 Dirty (when done right) by thehomodabrothers 94k, Hiro/Tadashi, AU, not related, stripper, masturbation, pinning,

You know the kind of guy who looks like he'd suck your dick, the money out of your wallet and the soul right out of your body?

Yeah. That half-naked waiter over there? He looks like that kind of guy.

(There's a stripper Hiro's having a little trouble staying away from. If his personality is anywhere near as nice as his ass, then Hiro's pretty fucked - and not in the fun way, either.)

starts out pretty damn dirty, but rapidly turns sweet af

Teen Wolf

http://archiveofourown.org/works/629953 Monsters by nightanddaze 10k, Derek/Stiles, dubious consent, possession,

Two (three) souls walking in the woods, looking for and finding monsters.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4683653 Stepping Off the Razor’s Edge by MissAnnThropic 25k, Stiles/Derek, angst, happy ending,

After the events of season 3b, the group in Beacon Hills graduate high school and move on with their lives… everyone except Stiles and Derek. Beset by their demons, they decide they need to get away for a while to clear their heads. Cue the road trip.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/507930 taking the bus to chinatown by hito 13k, Stiles/Derek,

Stiles' home economics teacher forces him to knit mittens. Nobody wants Stiles' mittens, but then Stiles offers them to Derek, and Stiles is pretty sure Derek does these things purely to drive him crazy. What else could it be?

hito writes the most precious Derek

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1647245 Knight of the Night by calrissian18 -1k, Stiles/Jackson, long distance snarkery,

Jackson grins, chest still heaving. He points at Stiles. “Princess.” Then to himself. “Knight.”

Written for mating_games Challenge 1: Happily Ever After. AND WON FIRST PLACE!

http://archiveofourown.org/series/103751 Shatterproof series by pyes 90k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, car accidents, pining, injury, recovery,

The first time that Derek kisses Stiles, they're in the Jeep—which is sideways—while they're trapped in an overpass collapse.

It's the second time when things really get scary.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3187547 Come Hell or High Water by blacktofade 14k, Stiles/Derek, AU, a/b/o, pining, saliva,

As an alpha, Derek goes into heat, which means he has to deal with endless amounts of saliva at any given point.

an original take on the, uh, biology of the trope.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1991601 The Lawn Ranger by Snowjob 47k, Stiles/Derek, high school AU, jock!Stiles, pining,

In which Derek is an adolescent werewolf with a penchant for chocolate bunnies, and instead of the dream summer of lazing around the house playing video games and nibbling on his hoarded supply of easter candy his mother makes him get a job.

In which Stiles is a showoff jock with a broken arm and an embarrassing crush who can no longer push the lawn mower around the yard.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3879556 UST (An Unfortunate Series of Tropes) by ureshiiichigo 54k, Stiles/Derek, pining, UST, bed sharing, accidental marriage, telepathic bond, donuts,

Stiles and Derek sitting in a tree, M-A-R-R-I-E-D.

Wait, what?

Or: Stiles thought he and Derek were finally getting to be bros, and then Deaton had to go and ruin everything with his stupid spell.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3575022 Plus One by migratoryslashfan 101k, Stiles/Derek/Scott, Stiles/Peter, polyamory, accidental pregnancy, dub-con, fuck-or-die, underwater sex, graphic injury, traumatic birth, fluff,

Stiles takes a pregnancy test as a joke. It turns up positive.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4248903 Our Skin, Our Bones, Our Silent Poem by staylorpotato 7k, Peter/Stiles, deaf character, fluff, angst, nogitsune fix-it, ASL,

Peter is a Deaf werewolf. Stiles is a CODA (Child of a Deaf Adult). They’re a kind of unlikely pair. But sometimes things you wouldn’t think of as a good combination, end up turning out to be the perfect combination, you know?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1932642 Reluctant Allies With Benefits by veterization 93k, Peter/Stiles,

Peter suggests he and Stiles start having no strings attached sex. It's that simple. No, really, it totally is. Stiles will make sure of it.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3643614 Prison Break by cywscross 21k, Peter/Stiles, Eichen house, mentions of torture,

The last time Peter was locked up and abandoned, he went crazy and killed a bunch of people. Stiles can’t understand why anyone would consider it a good idea to repeat history. So he decides to do something about it.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2542955 The Trouble with Threesomes and Supernatural Soul Mates by Akira_of_the_Twilight 87k, Peter/Stiles/Chris, canon-AU, polyamory, soulmates, slow burn,

Peter looked at Stiles from the corner of his blue eyes and smirked. Stiles swore he saw a flash of red Peter’s eyes, but it might of have been his brain’s lack of oxygen making him hallucinate. “I’m looking for my soul mate. Christopher Argent. I believe he volunteered to be taken in for questioning.”

An iron fist clenched Stiles' heart. This man was Argent’s—Christopher’s soul mate?

Stiles stared at the Peter’s wrist, examining every detail of Peter's soul mark. Stiles couldn’t find anything different between his and the blond’s.

Stiles lifted his hand and ghosted his fingers along Peter’s forearm.

It was lightning all over again, and Stiles yanked his hand back, only to have it caught in an unbreakable grip.

Frosty blue eyes burrowed into Stiles', and he couldn’t stop himself from gulping. The smirk on Peter’s lips grew as the corner of his mouth quirked higher, and he drew Stiles’ hand close to his face.

Peter’s nostrils flared slightly as he stared at Stiles’ soul mark. He pulled Stiles forward, pressing soft lips to Stiles wrist.

“Now what would your name be?” Peter purred.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6490537 According to plan by FeelingsDusk 16k, minor Peter/Stiles, time travel, BAMF!Stiles,

The plan was very simple: go back in time, kill Kate, kill Gerard, never ever make contact with his parents, try to find a place within the Hale pack or not, but either way, live the rest of his life displaced and without the people he loves.

Of course, as it always is with him these days, nothing goes according to plan.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8370943 All My Stars Aligned by Green 21k, Peter/Stiles/Chris, Peter/Chris, AU, a/b/o, alpha/alpha, pining,

Stiles needs to find an alpha ASAP. Actually, the doctors say he really needs two. Damn biology.

Chris and Peter are two alphas in hopeless, doomed love with each other.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6454288 Don’t Forget to Breathe by cywscross 11k, gen, canon-AU, kidnapping, codependency, injury, trauma,

The fire destroys every last reason Peter has to continue living. Stiles gives him a new one.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2521997 This Could Be So Dirty That it Just Ain't Right by taylorpotato 10k, Peter/Stiles, a/b/o, omega/omega,

Ever since Stiles presented as an Omega, he hasn't been feeling the same urges as his peers. When he's around an Alpha that's not Scott (who is pretty much his brother at this point), his first reaction is to shrink away, not try to press closer. Until he meets Peter Hale. Who acts like the most annoying, entitled kind of Alpha on the planet. Except he's not one. He's an Omega. Of course, Stiles would turn out to be every type of gay possible.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4013770 Lucky Penny (Tastes Like Copper on Your Tongue) by pibroch 11k, Peter/Stiles, AU, dark stiles, injury, groping,

When Peter woke up, he spent a good fifteen or twenty seconds earnestly wishing that whatever had hit him had the courtesy to kill him outright. Because this? This was bullshit.

AKA the time I decided to give Peter all the nice things, but made him get hit by a car first. Like you do.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7233526 Written in Red by gryvon 5k, Peter/Stiles, canon-AU, soulmates, humour,

Peter had given up hope of ever finding his soulmate until the red string on his finger leads him to a four-year-old. He's going to Hell. Or jail. Or both.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/820526 just like the ocean under the moon by rain_of_stars 23k, Peter/Stiles, love potion, dub-con, fluff,

When they find the alpha pack, Stiles is calling first dibs. Because trying to kill them all is one thing, but making Peter follow him around like a creepy undead puppy is unforgivable.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6273163 Save Me by DiscontentedWinter 39k, Peter/Stiles, canon-AU, aftermath of rape, torture, attempted suicide,

Peter is the Alpha. He's nobody's savior. Not his pack's. Not his town's. And not that kid's. But sometimes salvation goes both ways.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1601951 Under The Weight Of Living by SatanInACroptop 16k, Peter/Stiles, survivours guilt,

Stiles is having trouble reconciling with the aftermath of the nogitsune. Namely the notion that if Allison were here, Stiles might well not be. Namely the heart stopping fear of what could happen to those still breathing if the next time he wakes up, someone else is opening his eyes for him. Fortunately, there is at least one soul in Beacon Hills with whom he can relate to. Sometimes a little bit of help can be found in the most unlikely of places, including the domicile of Peter Hale, and sometimes, a little bit of sanctuary is all it takes.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/715949 no moral compass, pointing due north by AuntieClimactic 4k, Peter/Stiles,

“I certainly didn’t suggest anything untoward,” Peter says, honestly perplexed but hiding it by widening his eyes innocently. “I can’t help it if you overreacted to my natural sexual magnetism.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1158050 betrayed by bones by veterization 25k, Peter/Stiles, love potion/sex pollen,

Stiles stumbles into wolfsbane that forces him to seek out contact from a particular person to stay alive. That person just happens to be Peter. Stiles hates his life sometimes.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/761191 Feet on the Dash by veterization 9k, Peter/Stiles, road trip,

It's strange, because to the random unknowing passerby they're just two friends, maybe even family members, taking a road trip in the middle of a sweaty, endless June, but Peter's an ex-serial killer werewolf and Stiles is a little puny human who's eating all the chips like Peter won't rip his throat out if he eats the whole bag without sharing. The road trip part, however, is true.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/754957 Trust Fall by Stoney 144k, Derek/Stiles, body swap, h/c, slow burn,

Stiles is fairly certain that a case could be made for every bad thing in his life coming back to Peter Hale. This time it's pissing off a powerful witch, who retaliated by swapping Stiles and Derek a la Freaky Friday, because sure. That makes sense. Um, there are GPAs on the line, not to mention the whole thing where his dad wants to shoot Derek on sight. Except who he sees as Derek is actually Stiles, and Stiles did not sign up for filicide.

Great. Wait...does this mean he's the Alpha until they figure this out? Holy. Shit. ****

Derek had stood in front of the bathroom mirror for a few minutes trying to control the panic as he saw himself as Stiles. As the loud mouthed human friend of the pack. He was going to kill Peter. He was going to kill the witch, then he was going to kill Peter. Maybe even resurrect him again just to kill him all over.

They were going to have to play this cool. They would have to stay calm and focused. Which is of course why the universe threw him into this situation with someone who physically couldn't be calm and focused.

Of course.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1884876 But Then What... by Stoney 24k, Derek/Stiles, AU, High school,

Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him.

Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2532104 That's How They Deal With Boys Like Me by taylorpotato 12k, Peter/Stiles, genderfluid character, trans character, misgendering,

Navigating puberty is hard enough on it's own. But on most mornings, Stiles also has to deal with feeling like he woke up in the wrong body. Peter Hale, of all fucking people, is the only one that seems to understand.

http://archiveofourown.org/series/684416 The Sheep Chronicles by Guede 122k, Derek/Peter/Stiles, Sheriff/Chris Argent, AU, incest, polyamory, sheep,

After Derek’s nearly seduced by a hunter into betraying his family, his mother thinks it’s a good idea to send him out into the world and learn how not to fall for traps like that. Peter comes along, because Peter likes exploring, and that’s why they decide to explore a haunted mountain.

Stiles lives on that mountain. With his sheep. They’re very tasty-looking, and well, Derek and Peter are werewolves.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/581108 Men of a Certain Age by peroxidepest17 15k, Sheriff/Chris Argent,

The Sheriff and Chris Argent do their best impression of Scott and Stiles except without the flailing (because they're too old to flail anymore).

http://archiveofourown.org/works/971281 Concrete by RarePairFairy 8k, Sheriff/Chris Argent,

Chris Argent does NOT have a man crush.

Except maybe he does, a bit.

There are hostile creatures appearing in inconvenient places around Beacon Hills, and three families - the Argents, the McCalls and the Stilinskis - are resembling a taskforce.

Chris is beginning to realize that he's tired of watching loved ones get hurt. Sheriff Stilinski couldn't care less, because he's been trained how to use a gun and the bad guy's getting away, so on your feet, old man.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11414910 Poacher’s Delight by Guede 7k, Sheriff/Chris Argent, AU, BDSM,

What’s clear is that Chris has no right to be hunting where he is, and John’s caught him red-handed. But then it gets a little confusing.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4678247 Ecosystem Engineering and the Werewolf by Guede 19k,Derek/Peter/Stiles, canon-AU, BDSM, dub-con,

Stiles and his dad work for the U.S. Forest Service, which sends them to Beacon Hills. It’d be nice if Stiles could stop running into the Hales. He’s got bodies to get rid of.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4272609 I'll Walk with Your Wolf by iCheat 33k, Peter/Stiles, body swap,

When Stiles wakes up in Peter's body, he's understandably freaked out. As Stiles starts connecting with the man's wolf, he can't help but reconsider his opinions of Peter. Needless to say, it's a rather confusing time for all involved.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6147194 Beautician and the Beast by MaroonDragon 18k, Peter/Stiles, AU,

Peter likes to look good. He sells himself through his looks. So why shouldn't he make sure that he's as handsome as possible when he's shifted? Why would anyone want to have a dry and coarse fur when it's not needed? So he goes to a dog beauty parlour on a regular basis. When Stiles opens up a new shop in town, Peter finds way more than a new place to have his nails trimmed and his hair done. The only problem is, how can he seduce the guy when he's on four paws and believed to be just a very large dog?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8124766 All In A Spin by ShippersList 12k, Peter/Stiles, AU, permanent injury, aphasia, trauma,

Stiles can't really talk anymore but, with Peter, he realizes he doesn't have to. Even if their spoken communication consists of one swear word and stuttered syllables, they understand each other. And that's what counts.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/969413 Come Out With Your Hands Up High by dedougal 5k, Sheriff/Chris Argent, magic made them do it,

Kidnapping is all too current an occurrence for Sheriff Stilinski nowadays. But spell casting is one bit of the supernatural he hadn't quite got his mind around just yet. Especially when it's directed at him and his partner in kidnapping, Chris Argent.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/983275 Baby It's Warm Inside by RarePairFairy 4k, Sheriff/Chris Argent, smut,

Chris is a combination of lethal weaponry, bad dad jokes and domesticity. John is a combination of hot, Old Spice and Jack Daniels. On date night, that somehow translates into lethal hotness, old dad jokes and drinking on the couch. Neither man has extensive experience in the sexual side of man love, but both have extensive experience in improvising. And that will do.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4316862 To Catch a Fallen Star by cywscross 7k, Peter/Stiles, AU,

Stiles falls. It is not as great a tragedy as he thought it would be.

actual star!Stiles

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1110615 Sympathy for the Devil by KouriArashi 72k, Peter/Stiles, canon-AU, child abuse,

Stiles gets a job as a hospital orderly and finds himself becoming strangely attached to the catatonic man on the long-term care ward, and finds out that there's a lot more to Peter Hale than there seems...

http://archiveofourown.org/works/633727 Amends by AuntieClimactic 18k, Peter/Stiles, future fic,

Stiles blinks, “You’ve spent the last twenty years in therapy?”

“I had some emotional issues,” Peter admits.

“That’s… hilarious.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5298617 Proposing To Strangers by moonstalker24 50k, Peter/Stiles, AU, bikers, fluff,

At the end of a strained relationship, crime novelist Stiles chooses to hide from the world inside a bar with far too many motorcycles outside it for comfort. Here he'll meet the man of his dreams, eat food and propose marriage, all within the first five minutes.

Peter doesn't know who this kid is, but he's cute and looks like he could use a break. So he feeds him. He's not expecting a marriage proposal, but with what comes after, he doesn't really mind.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/597049 Bonds of Power by Miya_Morana 18k, Stiles/Derek, power swap, alpha!stiles, human!derek,

When Stiles suddenly wakes up as an Alpha werewolf and finds out that Derek has become human, he reluctantly accepts Derek’s pack as his while they attempt to find out what exactly happened and how to reverse it. But as they all try to adjust to the situation, the Alpha Pack is breathing down their neck, and they’re going to need all the help they can get to face that threat.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/826201 Miner For Truth and Delusion by blacktofade 20k, Stiles/Derek, love potion,

Stiles stumbles across what he thinks is a cult in the preserve and ends up cursed so that everyone wants to get with him. It makes it harder for him to get things back to normal, but luckily there's one person who's unaffected.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/877251 Divided We Stand by KouriArashi 156k, Stiles/Derek, AU, misunderstandings, mystery,

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn't expect and aren't sure they approve of....

http://archiveofourown.org/works/850923 Hard Pressed by pandacowhipster 4k, Stiles/Derek, masturbation, voyeurism, 5+1,

Derek maintains this wouldn't be an issue if Stiles would just learn to knock.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1381153 Roommate Wanted: No Supernatural Creatures Allowed by veterization 38k, Peter/Stiles, roomates, future fic,

Stiles is in college, living in a pleasant apartment, and absolutely does not need a roommate. He ends up getting one anyway, and as luck would have it, his roommate turns out to be Peter.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8214182 Adult Wolf by KouriArashi 82k, Peter/Sheriff Stilinski, canon-AU,

As if Sheriff Stilinski doesn't have enough to deal with, now he's been attacked by some enormous dog in the forest, and that's normal compared to what happens next...

Season one re-telling with Sheriff Stilinski being bitten instead of Scott.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1518449 Binomial Coefficients by DevilDoll 20k, Stiles/Derek, AU, high school,

In which brainy freshman Stiles Stilinski wants star quarterback Derek Hale to join the math team, AKA math nerds in love.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1204642 Kindred Spirits by Stoney 104k, Stiles/Derek, AU, slow build, pining, homophobia,

Anne of Green Gables/Teen Wolf AU. [ You do not have to know AoGG to follow this fic, it would only enhance the reading experience. :D ] Essentially the world of Teen Wolf set in the late 1890s, with themes and some minor character names/places specifically borrowed from Anne's world (and no disrespect meant to LM Montgomery, because I love Anne Shirley to bits and pieces.)

Stiles is the adopted son of the Sheriff, brought to Beacon Hills to hopefully stay for good. A family, a best friend, school, Jackson as Josie Pye (because who else could he be?) and the mystery of a dark haired, green-eyed boy which leads Stiles to discovering a secret within himself.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5299154 here comes trouble by grimm 105k, Stiles/Derek, AU, a/b/o, past rape, past abuse/slavery, trauma,

All Derek wants is one day where he can sleep without worry of being woken by gunfire, without the threat of death hanging over his head. He wants a full stomach and no pain clinging to his bones, no ache in his feet from months of running. He wants a shower, a safe place to put his head. He wants his family, the healing comfort of pack. He'll never have any of that again.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1124860 What You Can't See by darkmagess 54k, Stiles/Derek, kidnapping, PTSD, torture,

A new threat comes to Beacon Hills, putting all its supernatural inhabitants in danger. A true alpha and banshee are rare and valuable quarry, but Stiles and Derek are the easiest targets.

do read the short fics linked in the first A/N

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1022356 Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by DevilDoll, Rahciach 76k, Stiles/Derek, AU, kidnapping, captivity, h/c, torture,

"Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf." An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1491730 Handsome Hobo by relenafanel, Swing Set in December 8k, Stiles/Derek, AU, misunderstandings, humour,

Derek should probably stop rummaging through garbage if he doesn't want people to assume he's homeless.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/479349 I'm Hunting on the Night (We're Playing for the Fights) by PaddyWack 6k, Stiles/Derek, AU, wolf!Sties, Human!Derek,

Stiles is the unfortunate wolf that gets into some trouble during his moon cycle. Derek is the hapless hunter that finds him.

Or, the one where Stiles steps in a bear trap and has to be rescued.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/896999 And If I Die Before I Wake by consciousness_streaming 60k, Stiles/Derek, true mates,

When Stiles wakes up on his eighteenth birthday from a chaste dream about Derek Hale he doesn't think it's a big deal. But when he wakes up the next few days to the same dream, he knows something is going on. And he's going to get to the bottom of it. Once is an incident, twice is a coincidence, and three times is a pattern. More than three is just torture.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7946302 These Woods Sigh by blacktofade 80k, Stiles/Derek, friends with benefits, pining, accidental pregnancy,

Derek and Stiles never plan to start a family together, it just happens. Or, the one where Derek accidentally wishes for a baby.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11640030 Falling In, Not Through by Julibean19 49k, Peter/Stiles, h/c, body horror, wing kink, alcohol abuse,

“You need to help me,” Stiles says eventually. He’s still in too much pain to move off the floor, but he’s picked up a stray feather, twirling it between two fingers with a look of pure terror on his face. Peter nods immediately, eager and willing to be involved in whatever this is.

Peter’s eyes flick between the feather spinning between Stiles’ fingers and the harsh angle of the bend of his wings above his shoulders. He doesn’t look like any picture of an angel Peter has ever seen. There should be an elegant swooping curve there, neat little rows of white or gold or silver, pointed tips flung far out from Stiles’ body and a halo above his head. If Stiles is an angel, the myths are all wrong.

In which Stiles finds that he has wings and Peter finds that a pack doesn't always need to be made up of wolves.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2027388 Revenge Fake Dating Is Totally A Thing by seraphina_snape 32k, Stiles/Derek, fake dating, slow build,

Sheriff Stilinski walks in on Stiles and Derek in a compromising position and assumes they're in a relationship even though they were just sneaking around to keep the sheriff out of their supernatural shenanigans. Obviously it's all Derek's fault for being so damn suspicious - at least that's Stiles opinion and the reason why he gives Derek a taste of his own medicine when he invites him over for family dinner at his dad's request.

Only then Derek turns the tables on Stiles and before Stiles knows it, they're fake dating for reasons of revenge, one-upmanship and the preservation of Stiles' relationship with his dad.

No way this can go wrong, right?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/924398 Imperfect Isn't Easy (But It's Us) by RayShippouUchiha 11k, Stiles/Derek+Lydia, voyeurism, possesiveness,

Derek is so tired of everything being his fault, so tired of always losing. He's also tired of not admitting that he wants to own Stiles in ways he can barely describe.

Derek is far from perfect but maybe that's okay. Maybe in the right company perfect isn't necessary.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/487228 There Ain't No Heaven by blacktofade 4k, Stiles/Derek, masturbation, voyeurism, forced proximity,

Derek and Stiles are forced to spend the night in a car and Stiles pops an awkward boner.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11066634 I Don't Blame You for Being You (but you can't blame me for hating it) by LadySlytherin 39k, Stiles/Derek, injury,

Derek hits Stiles with his Camaro - 'Dammit, Stiles, it was an accident!'...'Why don't I believe you?' and hilarity ensues.

this fic contains mpreg, but it’s only a minor plot point and doesn’t actually take place during the actual plot.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7513226 your soul fits where mine feels empty by wishingonalightningbolt 19k, Stiles/Derek, smut,

He pulls open the door without knocking and gets half a step inside the loft before he notices. Derek—lying on his bed—face down—naked.

-0-

Stiles gets an eyeful. Things go downhill from there.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/612585 Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us by queerly_it_is 12k, Stiles/Derek, bdsm, sub!derek,

Derek doesn’t get why he likes it so much.

It’s just not -- he hadn’t expected to need this. Not from Stiles. Not from anyone, ever. He doesn’t do this.

Except he does, now. Because it’s for Stiles, and Derek -- fuck, he likes it too.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8179690 I've Been Everywhere With You by Leslie_Knope 61k, Stiles/Derek, theraphy, slow build,

“Dude, you should totally come with me.”

“What? Like on the road trip?"

“No, come with me. To Austin. Get out of Beacon Hills.”

Derek paused. “What?” he asked again.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/717364 Brilliant & Ridiculous by maderr 10k, Stiles/Derek, fake dating,

All Derek wanted was for the woman to leave him alone and ring up his groceries. How that led to her thinking Stiles is his boyfriend is something he blames on Stiles and his inability to stay out of trouble for five minutes.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/783841 John Hughes Did Not Direct My Life by nascentgalaxies 48k, Stiles/Derek, AU, high school, slow build,

Stiles and Derek are childhood friends who drifted apart. When Stiles joins the lacrosse team against his will, the universe (with a little help from Laura and Lydia) chooses to push them back together.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/676633 The Sweetest of Words (Have the Bitterest Taste) by Omni 9k, Stiles/Derek, fake dating,

“Ah, yeah, Desiree, I told you I was meeting someone. Well, that someone is Derek. My boyfriend. We’re totally in love.” His heart was racing and Derek was holding him so tight it was difficult to turn enough to face the young woman. What he did see of her had his breath catching on fishhooks in his throat. She was normally a relatively pretty girl, with cute round cheeks and large dark eyes, but in that moment she looked…terrifying. Her cheeks seemed gaunt, her eyes glowing like they were little windows peeking into a deep pit of raging flame.

(Or: Five or so years after the show. Stiles is in college, and finds himself getting stalked by a succubus. Derek's determined that the best way to thwart her is to prove that he and Stiles are madly in love. It's not really as much of an act as either seems to think.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1183688 i want to say all those things that would be better unsaid by aeneapsych 24k, Stiles/Derek, AU, phone sex, praise kink, teacher/student,

Derek is a lonely professor who decides to call a phone sex line.

Stiles is a poor grad student who needs to make a living somehow.

"One night stands were never this good. Hell, his previous relationships were never this good. Derek was so screwed, but right now he didn't care."

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1060026 Sense of Home by siny 53k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, angst, hallucinations,

Home can be a place, but it can also be a person.

After the events with the Nemeton, Stiles starts suffering the consequences of their sacrifice. A journey he attempts to make on his own, but only becomes worse with every step he takes. In the process he seeks comfort in an unexpected place and it draws him toward an unexpected person.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/508648 You Saw Me Standing Alone by orphan_account 43k, Stiles/Derek,

A pack of alpha werewolves is burning a war path through Beacon Hills; Stiles shouldn’t have the luxury of trying to get laid.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1168884 What's Up Pinocchio? by Brego_Mellon_Nin 11k, Stiles/Derek,

Stiles has settled in for a bit of self indulgence, favorite porn uploaded and ready, his recently neglected dick already stirring. For a few minutes he simply watches as the two guys start kissing and touching, but as soon as the bigger guy starts sucking his partner, Stiles groans and grabs for his own erection. Except, when he grabs hold of it, it feels… foreign in his hand. Pulse jumping, he snaps his eyes downward. Then he sputters and flails, nearly tipping over the edge of the mattress. What the everloving fuck?

Stiles knows his dick, okay? He knows it well. He knows how long it is, how thick it is - measuring is a normal thing for a curious teenager, it really is - but somehow, that’s not true anymore.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/550277 This Time With Feeling by Crimson1 36k, Stiles/Derek,

"Derek Hale, if you refuse to learn from your past…then you will be doomed to repeat it." In which Derek is turned into a 16-year-old and has to stay with Stiles until they figure out how to turn him back.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7451080 Drown Me with Kisses by LadySlytherin 19k, Stiles/Derek, pining,

When a rusalka in the preserve nearly kills Stiles with a kiss, Stiles is in grave danger any time he’s near a source of water - not just rivers, lakes, and oceans, but pools, bathtubs, the shower, a sink full of water - you put water in it, and it could probably kill Stiles now. Deaton’s advice? Break the rusalka’s magic with a kiss of opposite power - love to beat out death.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3569615 I Dream of Stiles by runningwithdinosaurs 12k, Stiles/Derek, AU,

In retrospect, Derek never should have rubbed the lamp.

But Derek did, which is how he got stuck with Stiles, who was truly a terrible genie. He didn’t even do things the way a normal genie was supposed to.

“What do you mean ‘it’s not three wishes’?” Derek bit out, glaring at Stiles, who was perched on the end of his couch. Literally perched. Like crouched on his tip toes.

“I don’t really know how to make it clearer,” Stiles said, long fingers twisting in the bright red hoodie he was wearing. “Is English not your first language? No son tres deseos. Ce ne est pas trois souhaits. To nie trzy życzenia.”

(Or the one where Stiles is a genie and Derek lives broken and alone in New York until a certain mole-covered immortal teenager LITERALLY pops into his life.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/751941 Graceless by AsexualDerek (Cammerel) 22k, Stiles/Derek, straight men having gay sex,

Stiles doesn't ask for much in return, but a 'please' would be nice.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3097259 Run To You by Emela 31k, Stiles/Derek, feral!derek, h/c,

A witch casts a spell, turning Derek feral and leaving him the equivalent of a frightened puppy. Stiles is the only one he trusts to protect him and of course, Stiles is only too happy to help. (Which has nothing to do with all these feelings he's suddenly having, okay? Derek's just a really cute werewolf puppy.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1783486 Lap Magnet by Prairie_Grass 30k, Stiles/Derek, 5+1, accidental bonding,

Wherein an ill-advised floral arrangement leads to a whole new definition of obliviousness, accidental mate-bonds, and far more sex and tropes than one fic really needs.

Five times Derek and Stiles didn’t notice how close they were (literally) and then a whole bunch of times when they did...

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4035982 You'll Grow Into Your Skin by crossroadswrite 11k, Stiles/Derek, implied mpreg,

“So funny story,” Stiles winces, “Remember when I joked you couldn’t get me pregnant?”

Derek nods his head. He remembers pretty much everything from that day.

“Right,” Stiles bobs his head, stops himself and does a little ta-da gesture towards Jacy, “Surprise?”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/696562 Invited Inside by blacktofade 14k, Stiles/Derek, biting, bloodplay,

Of all the things to finally bite him, a vampire is truly at the bottom of Stiles’ list.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7806307 Hot Pocket Ratio by ShippersList 12k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, incubus,

At the threat of the alpha pack, all Derek wants is to keep his pack safe and alive. As the last resort, he tries summoning a demon to help with fighting the alpha pack. He gets a bit more than he bargained for.

Or, the story where the classic demon deal of "Will you pledge your firstborn to me?" takes some unexpected turns.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/761973 Cosomination by zoemathemata 11k, Stiles/Derek, 5+1, pining, bed sharing,

For Fictional Force/Hoktauri who prompted “pining! Derek/oblivious! Stiles, graduation day”

Cosominate - To sleep together in the same bed or similar space.

Five Times Derek and Stiles Sleep Together - 4 platonic bed shares and one not-platonic bed share! Features Pining! Derek, Oblivious!Stiles and a very tense moment where Sheriff Stilinski has been hurt! But it all turns out okay.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8016247 Between Dogs and Wolves by artemis69 25k, Stiles/Derek, AU, mafia, violence. pining,

"This is…not four million in cash,” remarks Stilinski.

“Isaac. Did you fail to get my money back and decided to pick up a stripper on the road to bribe me? Because let me make this perfectly clear: this would totally work. Well done.”

The mafia!AU where the Hales owe four million to the Stilinskis, Laura rents Derek (but not as a stripper), Stiles gets a new favorite, Derek gets a new boss, a new puppy and a new family.

Sometimes they break people, but mainly, they just snark at each other.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3992896 Wolf in the House by JoeLawson 33k, Stiles/Derek, wolf!derek,

“What? It’s totally an improvement. He’s not scowling, or dating bad guys, or slinking around in unsanitary places. Still a bit paranoid, but what can you do. At least he’s a lot easier to get along with when you can buy his affections with ear rubs.”

“And you always wanted a dog,” Sheriff added wryly.

“And I always wanted a dog.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1727696 Just the Same by ericaismeg 68k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, highschool, pining,

Something is seriously up with the captain of the lacrosse team. There's just no way Derek Hale is human. *** “I was wondering if you're even human. You move so quickly. I mean, it's ridiculously fast. No human should be able to move that fast, y'know? It's unfair for us. I mean, it's obvious you work out, and I don't, so that could be why, but like...I was just wondering if you were human, that's all.”

“Stop talking, Stilinski, or I'll—”

“Put me on the bench all season?” Stiles asks knowing full well that Derek Hale can't threaten him with shit.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1162093 Lie Down with Dogs by uraneia 3k, Stiles/Derek, slightly subby!derek, aftercare, wolf!derek,

Stiles gives Derek a flea bath. Then things get weird.

“Is this a joke?” Stiles says when Derek hands him the bottle. It has to be a joke, right? This is just more evidence of Derek’s redeveloping sense of humor. Ha-ha. He’s hilarious.

“Does it look like I’m joking,” Mr. Murder Eyebrows himself says flatly.

Fuck, he’s not joking.

Stiles turns the bottle over in his hands. No matter how many times he reads it, it still says Flea Treatment Shampoo for Dogs.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1251133 Under The Wolf, Under The Dog by Narcissistic_Ninny 5k, Stiles/Derek, wolf!derek,

“So, uh, I noticed you’re commando most days. Is that because you have to transform, or cause you just don’t-”

“Oh my god,” he said. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/962660 The Scent of an Oncoming Storm by accol 13k, Stiles/Derek, scent marking, watersports,

In the weeks after Derek becomes alpha, he and Stiles form a reluctant team

http://archiveofourown.org/works/723433 I Ran (So Far) by thepsychicclam 33k, Derek/Stiles,

“But, you don’t run,” Derek pointed out, confused.

“People can get new hobbies,” Stiles snapped. “Geez, if I’d known it was going to be this big of a deal, I’d have called you first. Want me to give you my workout schedule? That way you can coordinate your nose accordingly?”

In which Stiles' summer starts off so badly he starts running, gets pelted by paint balls, and decides he is, in fact, going crazy if he willingly wants to hang out with Derek Hale.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/467550 The Life of Stiles by rispacooper 14k, Stiles/Derek, scent marking,

First Stiles is in denial, then he is just confused.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5640295 As Cryptic as the Moon by Formaldehyde_Eyes 30k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, scent marking, psychic powers,

“So,” Stiles started, everything about him unsure with how to explain it. “I sometimes have these dreams. About wolves.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10374501 It's Platonic Until It's Not by hbunting1403 16k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, scent marking,

Yes, Scott and Stiles sleep in the same bed. Stiles would rather cut off both of his hands than touch Scott sexually, but he’s no stranger to showing affection, and they cuddle on a pretty regular basis. Their relationship is, in Stiles’ eyes, normal and healthy and exactly what they both need. Then Scott meets Alison, and they fall in love over a fucking pen (which is sickly sweet but so Scott), and Stiles suddenly has a lot more time on his hands.

Cue pottery classes, stargazing, a new friendship, and a lot of (totally platonic) fantasizing.

Even if Derek is hotter than the sun.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/446553 Flipped and Awkwardly Reversed by harlequin421 13k, Stiles/Derek, h/c,

Scott getting bitten by a werewolf didn’t only change his life; it brought a sourpuss of a creeper werewolf into Stiles life who doesn’t seem to understand the concept of personal space or that windows aren’t doors, or you know, manners.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4620849 Proprietary by Osidiano 8k, Scott/Stiles, scent marking, praise kink, facials,

Written for the TWKM: Stiles needs to smell like he's having sex with Scott because SERIOUS REASONS and they decide that a facial is the least awkward way to accomplish that, except they're both way more into it than they expected and things keep escalating. Like, Scott has no idea how this got from 'werewolf-awkwardly-masturbating-several-feet-away' to Stiles telling him, "Maybe. . . Maybe you should rub your dick against my face a little. You know. To make sure I smell believable."

". . .Yeah," Scott pants. "Yeah, that makes sense."

http://archiveofourown.org/works/751583 The Boy and the Beast by Dira Sudis (dsudis) 116k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, slow build,

In which events in Beacon Hills go rather differently from the start, and a Beauty and the Beast (ish) story ensues. (Scott is not a teacup and no one sings about their feelings.)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1035300 Dude, Werewolves by mysecretashes 29k, Stiles/Derek, canon- AU, scent marking, frottage,

Stiles gets partnered with Cora for a history project, and they become bros. Also, he kind of falls in love with her older brother, Derek.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2141295 What the Body Grasps Not by sexyvanillatiger 21k, Jackson/Stiles, pre-canon,

Fulfillment of this prompt from the Teen Wolf Throwback Fest:

"So I have this headcanon that the reason Jackson and Stiles don't get along is because Jackson adored Claudia Stilinski. She was the children's librarian or volunteered at their school a lot, maybe watched Jackson after school, whatever, but she spent a lot of time around the kids, maybe helped Jackson overcome some reading issues, talked to him, listened to him in a way his mother didn't and so Jackson grew attached to her and jealous of Stiles, who always seemed to be acting up and giving her a hard time (pre-medicated ADHD) and Jackson was convinced Stiles didn't deserve her. Then she died. So Jackson doesn't know how to deal with that and Stiles is barely coping and maybe words are said which leads to years of actual, seething hatred, culminating in hate sex. Lots of hate sex. That. Keeps. Happening."

http://archiveofourown.org/works/625632 Goldilocks by tourdefierce 11k, Stiles/Derek, bed sharing,

It may be the wrong fairytale to fit their odd world, but Derek was most definitely Goldilocks, and somehow, Stiles' bed was juuuuuust right.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9641306 Without You by fearfrost1211 4k, Stiles/Derek, touch starved, frottage, first time,

Half a choked laugh boils up out of him. He had sex with Derek Hale.

Sex. With Derek.

He's never going to be able to shower in the locker room again.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3904933 Little Wild Animal by DiscontentedWinter 61k, Stiles/Derek, AU, fluff,

Derek Hale finds a feral human on his pack's property. Humans are supposed to be extinct. But then, Stiles is full of surprises.

Star Wars

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5638204 step out into the sun by plutos 71k, Poe/Finn, slow burn, fake relationship, accidental marriage, pining, fluff,

“I gotta talk to you, buddy, real quick,” Poe says lowly, and grabs Finn’s hand to haul him back out of the mess hall. His pilot friends cheer loudly, Karé yelling something about keeping it decent, and Finn barely has a second to process it before Poe’s yanking him away and into a deserted side corridor.

“I can explain,” he says quickly, running his spare hand through his hair.

“Well good,” Finn snaps hotly, “Because I’ve had a really fucking weird day.” _____________________________

Otherwise known as: Finn Is An Oblivious Numbskull, or: the one where Finn gets a name, a jacket, a droid, and a marriage out of nowhere in only a few short weeks.

the softest fic

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5926144 tell me about the big bang by thebrotherswinchester 37k, Poe/Finn, slow burn, pining, angst,

There is a part of him that says: you are not human.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5798602 have you heard by peradi 42k, gen, side ships, revolution, propaganda, redemption,

"I heard FN-2187 was a Stormtrooper."

Finn sparks a revolution.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5619475 my own secret ceremonials. by ameliorates 3k, Finn/Rey/Poe, UST, mutual masturbation,

the mathematics are simple. the reality is a hot, sticky delirium. -- poe struggles with frustrated longing.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5753218 BB-Gate by ignitesthestars, nymja 5k, Jessika Pava/Rey,

Jessika and Rey attempt to solve one of the galaxy's greatest mysteries: was BB-8 giving a thumb's up or the middle finger?

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8763691 Horrible and Terrible and Good All At Once by Mellow_Yellow 72k, Credence/Graves, arranged marriage,

Graves was a lead Auror, and as such prided himself on his ability to stay calm in a crisis, to keep his head, to remain even-keeled and articulate no matter the situation. So no one was more surprised than he was when he opened his mouth and heard himself blurting out, “Excuse me, ma’am, but I would like to purchase your son.”

Seemingly without hesitation, and before Mary Lou had the chance to respond, Credence burst forth with his own, “Yes, sir, you may have me.”

Then they both fell silent, equally shocked at their words. Merlin’s balls. Somewhere upstate, Graves was sure his father had just burst into laughter and had no idea why.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9136114 Roche Limit by Rrrowr 19k, Credence/Graves, a/b/o,

Thirty years, Graves has managed to hide this, smothering the very base notes of his scent with suppressants while keeping intact the identifying markers — chocolate, blood orange, and ash. Thirty years, he's managed to kill every instinct he has to bare his throat when challenged, funneling his nurturing instincts into a desire to protect, widening his idea of family to include all of wizardkind. For thirty years, he spent his heats doubling up on potions and taking sick days when that wasn't enough.

Thirty years spent facing that challenge, and now — all of it threatened by the fact that he wanted, for just one night, to be himself.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9095290 the king of oak bysaltpans 38k, Credence/Graves, recovery, slow burn, fae,

The first thing Percival Graves does after being released back into the world is buy a new wand. He's at Greymalkin's for ten minutes and the only wand that works for him is raw aspen, whiter than bone and so rough that Graves gives himself a splinter conjuring a storm of birds. The wand—dragon heartstring, a most unusual wand for an American wizard, according to a flustered Greymalkin—feels wild, and Graves empties half his wallet on the counter and keeps his hand on his new wand all the way home.

The second thing he does is quit his job, because honestly.

("Grindelwald did his research before he put on your face," Seraphina says reasonably. "And it's not like you're open with your personal life. He has us all fooled."

"He wore scorpion stickpins!" Graves shoots back, somewhat less reasonably.

Seraphina looks at Graves, his pressed creases, his immaculate shirt, the red ruby cufflinks he's wearing to hide the starved brittleness of his wrists. "I'm sorry," she says. It is not enough to make him stay.)

The third thing he does is get jumped by Credence Barebone in an alley.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9904355 Nothing Shall be Impossible by terriblelifechoices 61k, Credence/Graves, dub-con, forced pregnancy, prison, protectiveness, fluff,

Inspired by a prompt on the kinkmeme:

Grindelwald figures Credence is too old and damaged to be useful, but his genes are clearly strong. Graves' genes are pretty awesome too with wandless magic and whatnot. So he decides to make them do it and train their offspring as perfectly loyal soldiers.

___

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” Graves asked.

Grindelwald sighed, as if he found Graves’ questions tedious. “I told you,” he said. “I’ve Seen your child. Together, the two of you will produce a wizard so powerful that the armies of the world will tremble before him. He will be the first and most honored among my generals, and together we will usher in a new era of peace and prosperity for wizard-kind.”

“You know,” Graves said, conversational. “When I asked you if you were out of your goddamn mind, the short answer would have been to just say yes.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9157615 your need grows teeth by alamorn 10k, Credence/Graves,

There is something that Credence never told Mr. Graves. The man he thought was Mr. Graves. The man who cupped his skull and slapped his face.

Some of the wounds he healed for Credence were not from Mary Lou. Whenever he woke from lost time, he would find deep gashes around his fault lines, like a cheap toy put poorly together. He did not tell Mr. Graves that he did not know how he got them, just allowed him to smooth them away.

Note: this does not contain self harm.

Harry Potter

(also, The Cursed Child)

http://archiveofourown.org/series/583285 Alone series by mischiefmanager 3k, Albus Severus/Scorpius, masturbation,

Albus is an angst-monster who is in love with his best friend and it is absolutely tearing him apart.

Scorpius is a cinnamon roll who is in love with his best friend and it's...well, maybe a bit lonely but mostly overall it's pretty brilliant!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7331278 Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by waspabi 93k, Harry/Draco, canon-AU, pining,

'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6239806 Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi 57k, Harry/Draco, post-hogwarts, pining,

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

http://archiveofourown.org/works/247621 Detente by entanglednow 3k, Dr.Horrible/Captain Hammer,

"I'm your nemesis, you're not supposed to be having sex dreams about me, what would your psychiatrist say?"

http://archiveofourown.org/works/138889 Echoes in a Lonely World by etothepii 8k, Dr. Horrible/Captain Hammer, empathy bond,

Dr. Horrible carries his device (it doesn’t have a name yet, but he’s been mentally referring to it as "That Empathy Thing") with him on heists for a week and a half before Captain Hammer finally shows up. Not nearly as serious as the title suggests.

Dream Daddy: a Dad Dating Simulator

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11613825 An Intervention by Tenebrosa 2k, Craig/Robert, praise kink,

Craig needs to loosen the fuck up and damn if Robert isn't the King of Relaxation. How he does it might be a little...unorthodox, but really, who's gonna judge them all the way out here?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11652366 I'm Selfish, I'm Obscene by passionfruits 7k, Joseph/Robert,

A collection of Roseph intimacy. A bittersweet treatise on the unholy trinity of Joseph, Robert, and Mary.

AKA how much kink, fluff, and angst can I shove in one messy PWP dump? If you haven't read covet yet, I recommend doing that first. It's a good prequel.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11688816 Whatever's Written in Your Heart by captaincharming 16k, Joseph/Robert, infidelity,

“Hey,” Robert says again, turning Joseph’s face back to his. “Look at me. You think Mary don’t already think this is happening? She’s been asking me for years if I’m screwing her husband yet.”

Lucifer

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9329171 Worthy and Forgiven by Erya 31k, Lucifer/Dan, friendship,

In which Dan accidentally winds up in a confused sort of maybe friendship with the Devil himself, through absolutely no fault of his own.

Stranger Things

http://archiveofourown.org/works/7662067 Have Happened by cortexikid 43k, Jonathan/Steve/Nancy, slow burn,

"I overheard you. You were talking in your sleep.”

Steve's heart fluttered nervously.

“It was a little funny at first,” Nancy admitted, her tone a mix of teasing and apologetic, “you were moaning my name and I thought it’d be kinda funny if Mike accidentally overheard you having a sex dream about his sister—”

Steve couldn’t control the guffaw that escaped him.

“But then you said Jonathan’s name. Right after mine. All in the same breath.”

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11917929 the destiny of human handwriting by cosmicocean, princessparadox 53k, Todd/Dirk, soulmates,

Even from a young age, he isn’t a romantic. It’s around third grade that kids start writing to their Match, eight year olds asking questions about their name, where they’re from, what they like, who they are. Todd doesn’t. He’s not really into the idea of Matches, even if it’s something he can’t change. People fall in love with people. If he falls in love, he’s not going to fall in love with someone who he knows only from ink on his arms that he didn’t put there.

Whoever his Match is, however, does not feel the same way. His left arm (so he must be right handed) is covered with doodles. Crude flowers drawn with what looks like ballpoint pens, so lots of skipping and gaps in the lines. Sometimes the outlines of hearts that look like fountain pens, but are smudged quickly, the ink running too hard.

Soulmate AU where anything you write on your arm appears visible on your soulmate's. Written for the Dirk Gently Big Bang 2017.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9630893 Electric Ghost Rhino by Lavellington 8k, Todd/Dirk, pre-slash, bed sharing,

Dirk and Todd are not co-dependent, exactly. They've just had a rough couple of weeks.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9619238 Delete Me, Repeat Me, Let's Try This Again by coloursflyaway 6k, Todd/Dirk, pining,

Dirk is in love with Todd, that much is clear. The question is what Todd intends to do with that information.

#notdead recs #fic rec #rec list

10 notes · View notes

sinrau · 5 years ago

Link

Ravi Sharma, an emergency medical technician serving Brooklyn and Queens, before he fell ill.Credit…via Bina Yamin

Doctors have reported a flurry of cases in Covid-19 patients — including a healthy 27-year-old emergency medical technician in Queens. After a month in the hospital, he is learning to walk again.

By Roni Caryn Rabin

Ravi Sharma was doubled over on his bed when his father found him. He’d had a bad cough for a week and had self-quarantined in his bedroom. As an emergency medical technician, he knew he was probably infected with the coronavirus.

Now, Mr. Sharma, 27, could not move the right side of his body, and could only grunt in his father’s direction. His sister, Bina Yamin, on the phone from her home in Fort Wayne, Ind., could hear the sounds.

“Call 911,” she told her father. “I think Ravi’s having a stroke.” She was right.

Over the next few hours, doctors at a Queens hospital worked frantically to break up a blood clot blocking an artery to Mr. Sharma’s brain. But the doctors were puzzled.

Mr. Sharma was far too young for a stroke. He worked out every day and didn’t have diabetes, high blood pressure or the kinds of medical conditions that can set the stage for strokes in young adults, which are rare.

Neurologists in New York City, Detroit, New Jersey and other parts of the country have reported a flurry of such cases. Many are now convinced that unexplained strokes represent yet another insidious manifestation of Covid-19, the illness caused by the new coronavirus.

The cases add to evidence that the coronavirus attacks not just the lungs, but also the kidneys, brain, heart and liver. In rare cases, it seems to trigger a life-threatening inflammatory syndrome in children.

“We’re seeing a startling number of young people who had a minor cough, or no recollection of viral symptoms at all, and they’re self-isolating at home like they’re supposed to — and they have a sudden stroke,” said Dr. Adam Dmytriw, a University of Toronto radiologist who is a co-author of a paper describing patients who suffered strokes related to Covid-19. The paper has not yet been peer reviewed.

Though many of those patients had diabetes and hypertension, none had heart risks known to increase the odds of a stroke. Many were under age 65. For some, stroke was the first symptom of coronavirus infection, and they postponed going to the emergency room, fearing exposure.

Of 10 patients described in Dr. Dmytriw’s paper, two died because the coronavirus attacked their lungs, and two men — a 46-year-old and a 55-year-old — were killed by strokes.

Jamaica Hospital Medical Center in Queens, where Mr. Sharma was treated.Credit…Sarah Blesener for The New York Times

Doctors at Mount Sinai Health System in New York have also seen an unusual number of young stroke patients, saying they treated five such patients with Covid-19 during a recent two-week period. The medical center typically sees only one stroke patient under the age of 50 every three weeks, Dr. Johanna Fifi, a neurologist, and her colleagues noted in a letter in The New England Journal of Medicine.

Four of the five patients were relatively healthy; two patients in their 30s had no known risk factors for stroke. “We came to the conclusion it had to be related to Covid-19,” Dr. Fifi said in an interview.

Though strokes seem to affect a very small number of Covid-19 patients, they appear to be related to a broader phenomenon that has emerged in critically ill patients: excessive blood clotting.

Patients with severe Covid-19 may develop clots in the legs and lungs that can be life-threatening, doctors said. Their blood can be so thick and viscous that it blocks intravenous lines and catheters. Tiny clots in other organs, like the kidneys and liver, have been found in autopsies of coronavirus patients.

Dr. Michael Yaffe, an intensive care physician at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, called clotting a “hallmark” of the disease, although “not in everyone.”

German scientists reported last week that autopsies of 12 Covid-19 patients turned up a type of blood clot called deep vein thrombosis in seven of them. The cause of death in four patients was another type of blood clot in the lungs, called a pulmonary embolism.

Clotting is a risk in all critically ill patients if they are immobile for long periods. But patients with the coronavirus have elevated levels of clotting proteins in the blood, and the condition seems to be less responsive to blood-thinning drugs, said Dr. Adam Cuker, an associate professor of medicine at the University of Pennsylvania.

Some evidence suggests that the coronavirus may directly infect the endothelial cells that line the inside of blood vessels, causing injury and swelling that draws proteins that promote clotting, Dr. Cuker said.

People who have been exposed to the coronavirus, or are managing the infection at home, should call their doctors if they notice chest pain and shortness of breath, which may signal a blood clot in the lung, or leg pain, swelling, redness and discoloration that may indicate a clot.

Healthy, Until He Wasn’t

Bina Yamin, at her home in Fort Wayne, Ind., recognized over the phone that Mr. Sharma’s symptoms were those of a stroke.

Until he arrived at Jamaica Hospital on April 1, Mr. Sharma had never been tested for infection with the coronavirus. But he knew he was at risk. He had spent weeks making back-to-back ambulance runs, ferrying sick, elderly patients from nursing homes to hospitals in Brooklyn and Queens in February and March.

By mid-March, Mr. Sharma had developed a dry cough. He went to an urgent care clinic, where he was told that it was out of tests, but that he should stay home because he was probably infected.

At the hospital, emergency room doctors took aggressive steps to restore the blood supply to the left side of his brain. They also diagnosed acute respiratory distress syndrome, finding that Mr. Sharma’s infected lungs were filling with fluid and his blood oxygen levels were low. A test revealed infection with the coronavirus, and he was placed on a ventilator.

The doctors were kind but honest with the family, Ms. Yamin said: “They told us that it was 50-50. They didn’t know if he would live or die.”

Over the next few days, while Mr. Sharma remained sedated, Ms. Yamin spoke frequently with the doctors and nurses at the hospital, taking meticulous notes that she shared with relatives and with The New York Times.

Mr. Sharma’s body was flooded with blood thinners to prevent additional clots from forming. His fever spiked as high as 104 degrees Fahrenheit some days, raising his heart rate and further incapacitating his lungs.

Then, on April 8, Mr. Sharma started having seizures. He was sedated more deeply and put on additional medications. Doctors cranked up the ventilator.

By mid-April he had been intubated for two weeks, a period considered a critical make-or-break point for Covid-19 patients, and Ms. Yamin was concerned. No one knew the toll of the stroke itself, or whether Mr. Sharma would be able to walk or talk when he woke up.

The left side of the brain controls movement on the right side of the body, as well as speech and language, reading and writing, organizational ability, reasoning and analysis.

“I began to lose faith,” Ms. Yamin recalled in an interview.

Then, on April 15, there was some movement on the left side of Ravi’s body, the side not affected by the stroke. His fever ebbed. The staff lowered the ventilator setting, and he tolerated it.

“Looks like he’s slowly beating this,” Ms. Yamin wrote in a note to the family. “We just need to be patient.”

By April 18, Ravi was breathing more on his own. His fever had disappeared, and his blood pressure and heart rate had stabilized. The next day, he woke up, was taken off the ventilator and started breathing on his own.

He still could not speak and didn’t know what had happened to him, but a nurse held up his phone so the family could see him on FaceTime. “We couldn’t stop crying,” Ms. Yamin said. “We just said: ‘Oh my gosh, Ravi, we love you. These are happy tears.’”

Mr. Sharma whispered into the phone for the first time the next day, his throat still sore and hoarse from the ventilator tube.

Progress continued in baby steps. He ate some applesauce one day, a whole container the next. He started walking using a walker for support.

After a few weeks of inpatient physical therapy at Nassau University Medical Center, he graduated from a walker to a cane. He walked up stairs, sat in a chair and practiced getting up from the bed on his own..

A full recovery from a stroke can take months or even years, and Mr. Sharma is also recovering from the lingering effects of Covid-19, which has left him fatigued, and 50 pounds lighter than before his illness, he said in a video interview with The Times.

But he has made great strides in a short time, and those closest to him say he is still the old Ravi: a social butterfly.

Mr. Sharma boasted that he is everyone’s “favorite patient” at the rehab facility and that he is recovering quickly because staff members have been sneaking him chocolate milk and sweets.

“I got the doctors to order me ice cream as part of my diet,” he said.

He wants to go home, see his family in person, continue to build strength and start building a future with his girlfriend, Leana Soman. They both cried when they were able to video chat for the first time.

“He couldn’t speak, his throat was so bad, so I was lip reading,” Ms. Soman recalled. “He said, ‘I love you,’ and I said, ‘I got that — I love you too.’”

Too many people are still cavalier about the coronavirus, Mr. Sharma said, and young people think they are immune. The disease “was like being hit by a bus,” Mr. Sharma said.

“I’m 27, and if this could happen to me, it could happen to anyone,” he said. “This is real and it’s scary. I want people to go out there and be cautious.”

The Coronavirus Outbreak

#IFTTT #WordPress

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gethealthy18-blog · 5 years ago

Text

323: How to Have a Genius Life Using Four Key Pillars of Health With Max Lugavere

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/323-how-to-have-a-genius-life-using-four-key-pillars-of-health-with-max-lugavere/

323: How to Have a Genius Life Using Four Key Pillars of Health With Max Lugavere

Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.

This podcast is sponsored by The Ready State. If you’re at all like me, you might have perpetual stiffness and pain in your neck and shoulders from years of working, carrying kids and all of the demands of parenting. Or sore hips from too much sitting or multiple pregnancies. I found a great way to relieve my aches and pains and improve my fitness and flexibility. It’s from someone I highly respect… Dr. Kelly Starrett at The Ready State. If you don’t know Kelly, he’s a Mobility and movement coach for Olympic gold medalists, world champions, and pro athletes. He’s the Author of two New York Times bestselling books, including “Becoming a Supple Leopard”, which has sold over half a million copies. He has over 150,000 hours of hands-on experience training athletes at the highest levels. A Doctor of Physical Therapy who helps top companies, military organizations, and universities improve the wellness and resilience of their team members. He created a program called Virtual Mobility Coach. This program is easy to do from home each day, making it ideal for me, and for most moms. And I can do with my kids. Every day, Virtual Mobility Coach gives you fresh, guided video exercises. They show you proven techniques to take care of your body, relieve pain, and improve flexibility. And you can customize your videos in three ways. If you’re in pain, you can pull up a picture of the human body and click on what hurts. And from there, Virtual Mobility Coach will give you a customized pain prescription to help you find relief. Second, you can find a library of soothing recovery routines in the daily maintenance section. They’re a great way to wind-down and practice self-care from the comfort of your home. And third, for athletes, Virtual Mobility Coach also has an entire section of pre- and post-exercise routines for more than four dozen sports and activities. They help you warm-up before your workout so you can perform your best with a lower risk of injury. Right now, you can try Virtual Mobility Coach totally risk-free for two weeks without paying a penny. And after that, you can get 50% off your first three months. Just go to thereadystate.com/wellnessmama and use code WELLNESSMAMA50 at checkout. That’s half-off your first three months when you sign up for a monthly plan. And you’ll get personalized techniques to relieve nagging pain and improve your fitness and flexibility.

This podcast is sponsored by Beekeepers Naturals. They make all kinds of delicious and functional bee products from propolis to honey to brain boosting elixirs. But today, I want to talk about one in particular… B.chill. This is a hemp infused honey made with USA-grown hemp and formulated with a special MCT emulsion to naturally maximize bio availability and absorption. ½ a teaspoon works wonders when you’re feeling stressed or overrun during a busy day. For sleep- a full teaspoon makes a big difference. Add it to a nighttime tea or take on its own for noticeably better sleep. I also give this to my kids as an all-purpose remedy that helps them sleep more quickly and easily, and also comforts them when they have growing pains, muscle soreness or other minor issues. You can save 15% on B.chill and all Beekeepers Naturals products at beekeepersnaturals.com.wellnessmama with the code wellnessmama

Katie: Hello, and welcome to “The Wellness Mama Podcast.” I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com, and today’s guest is Max Lugavere, who you’ve probably heard of. He is a filmmaker, a health and science journalist with a background in journalism, like mine, and the author of The New York Times bestselling book, “Genius Foods: Become Smarter, Happier, and More Productive While Protecting Your Brain for Life.” He’s also the author of a new book, just coming out, called “The Genius Life: Heal Your Mind, Strengthen Your Body, and Become Extraordinary.” His book has been published in eight languages. He’s the host of the iTunes podcast, “The Genius Life,” and he’s appeared on everything from “Dr. Oz” to “Rachael Ray”, “The Doctors,” and many more.

And in this episode, we talk about his story of losing his mom and what he learned from the research around that, as well as the very simple, actionable, research-backed, practical tips in four key areas that can improve your life. So, like me, he’s focused on finding the most effective and efficient changes that you can make that have a big payoff, and we go into the weeds on a lot of these today. The resulting conversation is an extremely practical and actionable one. Make sure to check out the show notes at wellnessmama.fm for all the links to the things that we talk about. I know that you will enjoy this episode as much as I enjoyed recording it.

Max, welcome. Thanks for being here.

Max: Thanks so much for having me. What an honor it is to be joining you on your show.

Katie: I am so excited to have you here. I’m a big fan of your work and especially your new book, which I just got to read. I know we’re gonna have so much to chat about today. But to start, I would be really grateful if you could kind of introduce yourself to the audience by telling a little bit about your story and how you came into this world to begin with.

Max: Yeah, absolutely. So, my background is as a journalist. I started college on a pre-medical track, but I ended up halfway through realizing a love of storytelling and creativity. And so that kind of derailed my plans to go through medical school. And thankfully, my parents were okay with that. But I actually ended up getting a job as a journalist, which allowed me to be a storyteller while also covering stories that were of relevance to younger people. And, you know, the stories that I got to cover as a journalist ranged from the more, you know, topical to some pretty serious topics ranging from geopolitics to the environment to health. And I did that for six years out of college. And for those, you know, who might remember the network that I worked for, it was called “Current TV.” And it was actually co-founded by Al Gore. So I worked for him, but it was not his political platform. In fact, I, you know, only saw him at the company parties. And it was really…I had free reign to cover topics that I was passionate about. And I did that for six years, sort of, you know, getting to hone my skills, cut my teeth with some of the best of the best in the field.

And when I left that job to try to figure out where I was gonna go with my career, it was at that point in my personal life, I started spending more and more time in New York City, which is where I’m from, around my mother. And it was then around the year 2010, 2011, that me and my brothers, we started to notice the earliest symptoms of what would ultimately be diagnosed as a form of dementia in my mom. Just to paint the picture for you, my mom was not old. She was 58. You know, she was in the prime of her life. She had all the pigment in her hair. She was a vibrant, spirited New Yorker. And suddenly, it had seemed as though her brain, she had had a brain transplant with somebody 30 years her senior. And it was confusing, to say the least, for me and my brothers to witness. And in tandem with the changes to her cognition, she also had an alteration in her gait, which is how she walked. So, there were symptoms that were indicative of a neurocognitive disorder, but then also a movement disorder, like a more Parkinsonian sort of complex. And I didn’t have this vernacular back then. Back then, I was just a son who was concerned for his mother.

So, what I ended up doing was accompanying her to doctor’s appointments. And because, you know, as I mentioned, we were in New York, we started at NYU, then we ended up at Columbia. But ultimately, when we couldn’t find a diagnosis for her because her symptoms were so strange, they didn’t fit neatly into the Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis, they didn’t fit neatly into the Parkinson’s disease diagnosis, it was really hard to figure out what she actually had. And so we ended up going to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. And then ultimately, it was at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio where she was diagnosed for the first time with a neurodegenerative disease. And that was the first time in my life that I’d ever had a panic attack. I was so scared and I felt so desperate and hopeless. Because what I experienced in those doctor’s offices with my mom, I’ve come to actually call diagnose and adios.

And that’s because usually what a doctor will do is he’ll run a battery of esoteric tests. You really don’t know what they’re doing most of the time. They don’t take the time to explain. They never once bring up environmental factors that might have led to the condition. They never talk about diet. They never talk about lifestyle. And that’s not to say that these doctors weren’t great in their fields, but I was left, to put it lightly, disenchanted by the whole process. And what I did was I ended up looking on my own into what’s called the primary literature, which is our peer-reviewed, most respected medical journals where, you know, trials and, you know, observational evidence, and all kinds of, you know, studies, the research that we all draw on when we talk about health and nutrition and write books about it, this is accessible to anybody. And back then, I was just looking for help from my mom.

So what I did was I used those skills that I had honed as an investigative journalist to try to figure out why this was happening to my mom, what could be done to help her, and what I could potentially do to prevent it from ever happening to myself. And there was this huge gap in between what I was reading about in the research and what I had experienced in those doctors’ offices. So I basically thought to myself, “This isn’t right.” I mean, people need to know that we don’t need to sit idly on our hands as we await whatever is in our genetic hand of cards. I mean, we can take steps today that are going to boost our cognitive health and minimize our risk for conditions like Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, which one of the most shocking findings I uncovered is that oftentimes, these conditions begin in the brain decades before the first symptom.

So from that point on, it was a…you know, there’s this term that they use in astrophysics, singularity. It was like a singularity in my life where, you know, from one day to the next, I couldn’t think about anything else other than researching this topic and reaching out to researchers around the globe who could provide further insight. And that really began my journey and that, you know, continues obviously to this day, you know, nine years later. And my new book, “The Genius Life,” is really a reflection of all of the latest insights that I’ve been able to glean from the literature and from my interviews with experts and my personal experience going through this with my mother that people can really use to make the small changes in their day-to-day life that are gonna have big wins both in terms of their health and how they feel day-to-day.

Katie: Wow, that’s awesome. And like you, I got into it for my own health with Hashimoto’s. And my background is ironically also in journalism, that’s what I went to school for. And when I couldn’t find answers in the conventional medical system, I started researching for my own answers as well and was amazed at just how much there was that is not talked about in the mainstream. And I think something really important that you said, I wanna expound on a little bit before we move on, is the idea of not being controlled just by our genes, that our genes not being our destiny. I think that’s something that a lot of people maybe don’t fully understand is that just because we may have a genetic predisposition to something, that doesn’t at all mean that we’re going to necessarily have to have that condition or whatever it is expressed in our lives. So let’s talk a little bit more about what you’ve learned in your research, specifically related to that and how we have probably a much more control than many of us realize over our genetic expression in what happens.

Max: Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, what I like to say is that genes are not your destiny, but they do help determine what the standard American diet and lifestyle will do to you. You know, for some people, eating the standard American obesogenic diet, they’ll develop obesity. Some might develop type 2 diabetes, some might develop certain forms of cancer, which, you know, research suggests certain cancers are sensitive to diet. And our risk for cancer, in general, increases the more overweight we are. Alzheimer’s disease is related to being a type 2 diabetic. So everything is interrelated in very intricate ways. And I don’t pretend to have all the answers but, you know. And of course, there are genes…there are certain conditions where, you know, genes are destiny. So, I don’t like to make blanket statements.

But when it comes to dementia, which today if you make it to the age of 85, you have a 50% chance of being diagnosed with dementia so that is a coin toss. The vast majority of Alzheimer’s cases, which is the most common form of dementia, are not genetic. They’re influenced by our genes. We have risk genes, but they’re not due to deterministic genes, except for a small percentage of cases, which we call early-onset or familial Alzheimer’s disease. But sporadic Alzheimer’s disease, which again, is the most common form of dementia, but it’s not the only form of dementia, make up 95% of Alzheimer’s cases. And we do have some control when it comes to our brain health. Now, again, you could do everything “right” and still, you know, and I use air quotes when I say right because this is a constantly evolving science and 90% of what we know about the condition has been discovered only in the past 15 years.

But we know that the health of the body influences the health of the brain. And today, unfortunately, we live in a time where our bodies are unwell. If you look, statistically, two-thirds of adults are either overweight or obese. And we live in a nation where, by the year 2030, one in two adults are actually gonna be obese. So this is a startling statistic. Fifty percent of adults are either type 2 diabetic or prediabetic and the vast majority of people with prediabetes, which means that their blood sugar is starting to inch up to a point where it becomes chronically elevated, most people with prediabetes don’t even actually know that they have prediabetes. And by being a type 2 diabetic, your risk for developing Alzheimer’s disease increases anywhere between two and fourfold.

And we know, by and large, that type 2 diabetes is a lifestyle condition. It’s driven by primarily an overly sedentary lifestyle, chronic stress, and eating foods that are associated with the standard American diet. So, ultra-processed foods that are just loaded with refined flours and fats. So, essentially, what I try to offer people is a way of improving their metabolic health, which we know influences the metabolic health…the metabolic health of the body influences the metabolic health of the brain. And the guiding sort of thesis that I advance in my books is that Alzheimer’s disease really stems from a kind of metabolic dysfunction in the brain. And what that essentially means in English is that the brain in Alzheimer’s disease, one of the earliest measurable features that we can see in the brains of people at risk for Alzheimer’s disease is an inability to properly generate energy. So that’s essentially metabolic dysfunction.

And this is, as I mentioned, an evolving science but there’s even evidence that suggests that transient hyperglycemia actually blocks the ability of glucose to enter the brain, which is the brain’s primary energy source, sugar. So, I mean, it’s kind of ironic that high blood sugar, you know, we would think, “Wouldn’t high blood sugar be good because it’s more sugar for the brain to use?” Having chronically high blood sugar…having transiently high blood sugar might actually affect sugar’s ability to cross into the brain. So imagine what happens if you have chronically high blood sugar. So now, researchers have started to actually refer to Alzheimer’s disease as a form of diabetes of the brain. Type 3 diabetes is what they have started to refer to it.

And this is a hypothesis that’s gaining a lot of traction, especially in light of the fact that the prevailing hypothesis as to why Alzheimer’s disease develops over the past few decades, the so-called amyloid hypothesis really has been met with abject failure in the way of interventional studies that try to use pharmacological interventions to reduce amyloid in the brain. So it’s led researchers to sort of question, what is the earliest feature that we might be able to intervene and change in patients at risk for Alzheimer’s disease that might improve their risk, or lower their risk and improve their chances against developing the condition? And it seems that this sort of impaired ability for the brain to generate energy is one of the earliest features that we might be able to have agency and, you know, change our course.

So these are all the sorts of things that I explore in the book and make it really actionable and achievable for people to tend to. And, you know, we live in a time, as I mentioned, where people are just, unwell. We don’t feel great. Most people are walking around, you know, and they’ve just sort of accepted their reality as par for the course. You know, feeling tired and bloated and mentally fatigued with brain fog. And I think that that has a lot to do with the fact that only 12% of adults today have what researchers would call good metabolic health.

Yeah, so in the book, I go into all these different facets. And the four tent poles of the recommendations, they fall under four different categories. One is nutrition. One is exercise, which can be subdivided into two categories. So we have thermal exercise and we have physical exercise. And we can go into those two arenas. But then we have light, the body’s relationship with light and how important getting good quality light is in the earlier half of the day, and then how important it is also to have a break from light in the latter half of the day. And then our exposure to environmental toxicity. You know, we live in a world where on a constant basis, we’re exposed to industrial chemicals that if it were one or two here and there, it might not be such a big deal, but the overall burden of toxicity is just overwhelming our defense forces. And so, I go into the more common of these chemicals that people should watch out for that could be affecting their health in invisible ways.

Katie: I love it. And so much we can delve into from there. I actually wanna start with light. I know that’s not the first pillar you mentioned, but I think it’s one that is not as well understood and one that can be almost universally beneficial. And something I’ve realized in the last couple of years, especially, is that so much of health and wellness is very much personalized. And at the end of the day, each of us is responsible for figuring out the things that are gonna work the best for us. But there are some universally applicable principles. And I think that the idea of circadian biology in light and how it influences the body is not as well understood as perhaps some of the others. So I’d love to start there. And I know that you have written about this extensively and talked it before, but for people who aren’t familiar with this concept, we know that food affects our body. We know that exercise affects our body. I am a big believer that light might actually be more important, but let’s start with this one. Explain how light affects the body.

Max: Yeah. So, our bodies are rhythmically influenced and the chief clock that our brains use to know what time of day it is and then to accordingly adjust how our hormones work and how our neurotransmitters work to cater to the activities that are associated with that, with whatever time of day it is, is light. So light being the primary time center that the brain uses to gauge what time of day it is, obviously, enters through our eyes. And it basically acts like a switch to either flip on or to not flip on proteins in the eyes called melanopsin proteins. And these proteins are actually not involved in sight and they’re not super sensitive. They’re only sensitive to about 1,000 lux of light. So lux is a measure of light intensity. And people can actually download an app on their phones called Lux, which can give them a sense of the relative light intensity in their surroundings.

And what happens when our eyes perceive a brightness of about 1,000 lux, it then flips a switch in a small region of the brain, it’s about half the size of a chocolate chip, called the suprachiasmatic nucleus. And you don’t really need to remember these terms. But when melanopsin interfaces with the suprachiasmatic nucleus, which is housed in another region of the brain called the hypothalamus, that basically tells your brain that it’s daytime. Like, you know, up and at ’em, let’s orient hormones and neurotransmitters in a way that is gonna give you the most focus, the most energy, the most coordination, the greatest sort of metabolic machinery that you can have over the course of the day that’s gonna support your ability to forage, and to find new hunting opportunities, and to find new ground to settle on if you were, say, a hunter-gatherer or to find a potential mate.

So you’re gonna be most energetic and most active, obviously, during the day. Now, the hypothalamus, which is where this structure, the suprachiasmatic nucleus is housed, is one of those primordial regions of the brain. It controls very basic survival-oriented functions like metabolic rate, our drives for food, our drives to procreate. So needless to say, this is crucially important to our survival. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be in that part of the brain. It would be maybe in a higher, you know, order area involved with, you know, human consciousness or something like that, you know. But it’s really in the reptile part of the brain that is just so crucial to our being as organisms. And when that occurs, when we experience light at that intensity, it sets off this 24-hour timer that influences, as I mentioned, daylight-associated activity as well as when we begin to get tired in the evening.

So people who expose their eyes to bright light in the morning have an earlier expression of a hormone called melatonin, which is involved in winding us down and getting us ready for bed in the latter half of the day. So, getting that bright light for about half an hour every morning is crucially important. And to be clear, I mean, the light that you’ll get from an overcast day is sufficient. It doesn’t have to be direct sunlight, necessarily, but just being outside, or being near an open window, or even commuting to work for half an hour without sunglasses on would be sufficient to essentially anchor your body’s circadian rhythm. So that’s where light, really, I think plays a role in helping us feel good. It boosts levels of serotonin in the brain. It can help reduce levels of cortisol.

And this is something that’s super important. You’ll see a lot of people today not getting adequate light exposure in the morning. And this is partially owed to the fact that we spend 93% of our time indoors, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. So, very important stuff and, you know, this circadian clock, it influences antioxidant status. It influences, as I mentioned, metabolism in the body. It influences levels of inflammation. And so light really kind of interfaces with all of these different systems in the body. You know, it’s not just a visual phenomenon. It really influences our biology in a profound way. And at the later end of the day, experiencing a reprieve from bright light is equally as important.

Today, we live in a time where we’re exposed to ever-growing, you know, TV screens that emit powerful light into our eyes. We’re faced with unprecedented artificial light in our homes from our devices. And unfortunately, the light intensity that some of these devices give off, and even overhead lighting in our homes and other establishments that we may visit in the latter end of the day, can easily reach that light intensity of 1,000 lux. So if you were to walk into a supermarket or a drug store at 8 p.m., which is when your brain is supposed to be winding down and getting you ready for sleep and catering to all of those restorative and rejuvenating processes that we associate with, you know, getting good sleep, you’re actually shutting off those processes if you walk into, say, a drug store and the overhead light reaches 1,000 lux. So, making sure that we’re honoring our bodies’ circadian inclinations in the latter half of the day has become one of the central challenges of modern life. And so that’s where I think being mindful of the light intensity that you allow to enter your eyes is crucially important.

Now melatonin, which I mentioned earlier, it’s a sleep hormone. It’s not just involved in sleep, it’s an antioxidant. It is involved in DNA repair. It is a gatekeeper to a process called autophagy, which I like to refer to autophagy as the KonMari method for biology. So, people who might be familiar with Marie Kondo and her love of tidying up, that’s essentially what biology does. And the term for that is autophagy. It’s when cells clean house. They break apart worn-out proteins and organelles that maybe have become old and dysfunctional. And melatonin is a sort of gatekeeper on that process.

Now, when we experience bright light in the latter half of the day, you’re basically suppressing the release of melatonin to a profound degree. And so that’s not only gonna affect your sleep, but it’s gonna affect your body’s ability to repair DNA damage. And DNA damage is at the root cause of cancer and even aging itself. So, in the sense that light can actually affect the way that your body repairs DNA that has become damaged, light at the latter end of the day can actually serve as a potential carcinogen, which is a very powerful concept and one that needs further testing. But it’s perhaps no surprise when you look at all of the data coming from animal labs, you know, and you see the observation that people who work night shifts are at increased risk for certain types of cancer. So, it’s definitely something I think that is worthy of having our attention, being really cautious of the level of light intensity that we allow to enter our eyes in the latter half of the day. And then also, of course, getting good quality light in the first half of the day.

Katie: Got it. Yeah. I love that. And I’m also a big believer in that 30 minutes of light early in the morning, I’ll often sit on the front porch with my husband and sip a cup of tea or coffee, and just be outside, and that’s such an underestimated, easy thing we can do. It’s free and it’s amazing. I’ve seen results in my labs. I’ve seen results in my energy level, all the things that you’ve mentioned. And I think really, like, light seems to be a key because, as you mentioned, we’re seeing a rise in obesity and all of these diseases at a rate that mathematically and statistically does not make sense. We haven’t seen this ever before in history at this rate. And I think if you look at the data, like, what you’ve done, light is the one really logical potential answer because that has changed so much over the last 50 to 70 years.

And so, looking at that in the same way that you would diet or exercise, I think is really important going forward because this is obviously not a problem that’s going away. We’re not moving away from technology and artificial light. So it’s important to learn, based on all these tips that you’ve talked about, how to navigate that and to use it to our advantage versus our disadvantage. And I think based on your pillars, the other one that people…my listeners are probably above the curve on, but a lot of people don’t fully understand is the environmental toxin component here as well. And this is another area that’s changed so drastically over just the course of one generation and that can have really dramatic results in our life. But I feel like people often find it easier to ignore because it’s not as immediately noticeable as nutrition or exercise. So let’s go deep on the environmental side now and what you found when you started looking into the research on this.

Max: Yeah, absolutely. So, I mean, as I mentioned, the overall burden of toxicity today that your average human is exposed to is unprecedented. And many of the kinds of harmful chemicals that I think we need to be concerned with, we’ve been exposed to for the entirety of our lives. There was a study that found that, you know, in utero, fetuses are exposed to about 287 industrial chemicals. And I’m not, like, trying to be chemophobic. I’m certainly not trying to fearmonger. But, you know, we live in a world that has just, you know, become mutated in so many ways. And many of these chemicals we’re exposed to on a daily basis and are foisted into the marketplace so that humans are exposed to them prior to really, I would say, you know, the kinds of robust research, that we really need to feel safe about these chemicals has been done. Oftentimes, certain compounds are just assumed to be safe because we don’t eat them the way we do food. We don’t take them the way we do supplements and medicines. And so, they’re not subject to the same regulatory scrutiny.

But in the book, I go into two different kinds of pollution, I guess you could categorize it. So first is, you know, the external environment, the environment outside of your house and pollution like, air pollution, which, you know, a growing body of research is now suggesting is very harmful to the health of our brains and even just our overall cognitive function. There is a type of air pollution that many people are exposed to in the United States called fine particulate matter. And fine particulate matter is basically, airborne particles measuring 2.5 micrometers or smaller. And, you know, 166 million people in the U.S., 52% of all Americans are exposed to unhealthy levels of outdoor air pollution. I grew up in New York City, I live in Los Angeles now, you know, there’s certainly things to be gleaned by living in the world’s great cities, but air pollution is definitely a growing concern.

And what we see is that people that are exposed to high levels of air pollution seem to have dramatically increased risk for cognitive decline. There’s a study that occurred across 48 states and found that high exposure to air pollutants increases the risk of cognitive decline in women by 81% and Alzheimer’s disease by 92%. Now, there are probably confounding variables in this, people who are exposed to higher levels of air pollution are probably in more industrial areas. Maybe it’s harder to find healthy food in those areas. We don’t yet know. But what we do know is that fine particulate matter is after we inhale air that has these particles in it like magnetite, which is made of iron, it’s actually able to enter our circulation and pierce the blood-brain barrier and accumulate in the brain where it creates pathologies that look a lot like what you’ll see in a brain with Alzheimer’s disease way earlier than Alzheimer’s disease would typically present its ugly head.

So, what you’ll see, and a lot of these studies have been done in very polluted parts of the world, like Mexico City or in China, they’ll find that once these particles accumulate in the brains of people, even younger people, they will start to show increased levels of amyloid-beta, which is the protein that serves as the backbone of the plaques that we associate with Alzheimer’s disease. And people who are at risk genetically for Alzheimer’s disease, carriers of the ApoE4 allele, might actually have a higher vulnerability to outside air pollution. In fact, one-fifth of Alzheimer’s cases might be owed to air pollution alone.

So you definitely wanna be cognizant of the air that you’re breathing in on a regular basis. And if you do happen to live in a polluted part of the world, there are things that you can do. So overall nutritional status is gonna go a long way towards helping protect you. So making sure that you’re eating a diet that is rich in antioxidants, fruits, and vegetables, and also properly raised meat products, which most people don’t think about grass-fed beef when it comes to detoxing. But animal proteins provide sulfur-containing amino acids, which are really important in the synthesis of glutathione, which is your body’s master antioxidant or detoxifier. So making sure that you’re eating a diet that is providing you ample nutrition, that’s super important.

Taking a fish oil supplement can be useful. They found in both humans and animal trials that fish oil, which we know can be anti-inflammatory, especially for people who are not regular consumers of fish, can actually reduce the harm that comes from being exposed chronically to air pollution. A B vitamin, a B complex can help support your body’s detox pathways as well. And just, generally speaking, knowing your ApoE4 status. So knowing your genetic risk for conditions like Alzheimer’s disease, you know, might actually affect how frequently or how regularly you allow yourself to spend in time in, you know, areas of higher pollution.

The other type of pollution that I talk about in the book “The Genius Life” is indoor air pollution. It’s a major problem and it’s not just in the indoor air environment. It’s compounds that we’re exposed to in our food, the BPA, which is able to leach out of the plastics we use to store our food or phthalates, which are plasticizing chemicals as well. We’re inundated with compounds that serve as endocrine disruptors. They disrupt the way our delicate and finely tuned system of hormones functions. And this can be associated with certain cancers. It can be associated with alterations in the way that our bodies handle glucose. It can be associated with weight gain.

And there’s really no limit to the negative effects that we can experience when regularly exposed to endocrine disruptors. I’ve become kind of friendly with an organization that I think people should support or at least know about, called the Endocrine Disruption Exchange, which is dedicated to raising awareness for and tracking ultimately about 1,400 potential endocrine disruptors that people are potentially exposed to every single day. And so while it’s impossible to talk about all of them, you know, the most common of them would be these plastic-related compounds. Most people are unaware of the fact that, you know, compounds that are used to make plastic can easily leach into food and beverages when stored in them.

So if you take a plastic water bottle, for example, and you pick that water bottle up from, you know, say, the airport, which, you know, I’m not perfect. If I’m thirsty and I’m traveling, I’ll buy a water bottle. I’ll try to buy my water in glass, but I’m not always so lucky. You have no idea where that water bottle was stored before being in the store. You know, it could have sat in the hot cargo bed of a truck for days, weeks, months, and heat catalyzes the leaching of compounds like BPA or phthalates into the liquid. It’s one of the reasons why in my home, I’ve gotten rid of all of the plastic Tupperware containers and I will generally only store, you know, foods and beverages in glass.

A lot of people will keep water bottles, plastic water bottles in their cars, you know, which can be a very warm environment, especially in the summer. That’s a big no, no. You definitely wanna get rid of any of these plastic water bottles, you don’t wanna reuse them. And even when we’re avoiding compounds like BPA, unfortunately, manufacturers have now started to replace BPA with BPS. And there’s no reason to suspect that any of these alternative plasticizing compounds are any safer than BPA. In fact, they could be even more treacherous because there’s just less research on them. And it’s been known for almost a century, at this point, that BPA has profound estrogenic properties in the body. Meaning it can act like a hormone estrogen once we consume it.

Other sources of BPA, most people are unaware, store receipts. So if you are touching a store receipt that happens to be printed on thermal paper and you can always tell that these receipts are coated with BPA because you’re able to sort of write on them with your fingernails, that provides a powerful source of exposure for BPA. Oftentimes, we’ll touch these receipts and then we’ll hold the hands of our little ones and hormonal disruption earlier in life when we’re children can have potentially lifelong implications. So we really wanna be cautious of our exposure to these compounds. And one shocking thing that I discovered the other day that I wasn’t even privy to, you know, I had known about BPA on these receipts, when we use hand sanitizer on our hands before touching these receipts, it dramatically increases the absorption into our bodies of these chemicals. So, you know, that’s kind of counterintuitive. Most people might touch a store receipt and then use a hand sanitizer or use a hand sanitizer before touching the store receipt. Certainly, you see this all the time with people who work at the registers, you know, which is unfortunate. You definitely don’t wanna use a hand sanitizer prior to touching these receipts.

And another surprising source of these compounds, not BPA or phthalates, but actually compounds more similar to Teflon, which we know, you know, can serve as a potent endocrine disruptor is glide dental tape. So, I’m a big advocate for oral health, dental health, and flossing is certainly very important. But if you’re using one of these dental tapes, like the kinds that are marketed for being able to slide more easily between teeth, those tapes are actually made with Teflon. And what we see is that people who use those kinds of tapes have higher levels of these endocrine-disrupting compounds in their bodies. So you wanna use dental floss but you wanna make sure that it’s more of like a string as opposed to this dental tape. Usually, they’re called glide. You wanna make sure that you’re avoiding those.

So there’s a lot of different potential tips that people can use to better detox. As I mentioned, the three Ps, pee, poop, and perspire. You wanna make sure that you’re going to the bathroom regularly. You wanna make sure that you’re drinking ample fluids throughout the day, making sure that your urine is either clear or light yellow because, of course, a solution to pollution is dilution. So making sure that you’re staying hydrated. And then also perspiring on a regular basis. Now, exercise is one great way of making sure that you’re sweating on a regular basis but, you know, some people just don’t sweat that much when they work out. I’m one of those people. I don’t, you know, sweat all that profusely when I’m working out. But that has made me become a huge fan of saunas and doing things that are gonna increase, you know, how much I sweat.

So sometimes I’ll work it out and I’ll work out with, like, a sweater on or, like, a hoodie just to make sure that my body temperature is increasing and I’m able to purge some of these compounds. But I’m a big fan of sitting in a sauna and really sweating it out. People who more regularly engage in sauna bathing, we’re seeing out of the University of Eastern Finland, have reduced risk for early mortality, which is essentially dying early. We see that they have reduced risk for Alzheimer’s disease, cardiovascular disease, and stroke. So saunas really are a powerful healing modality. I’m a huge fan of saunas. And, you know, just one of the many mechanisms by which the saunas boost our health is that they help us excrete certain of these environmental toxins.

Katie: I love it. I’m also a huge fan of saunas. We actually have a couple of different types at our house. And based on what I’ve seen in the research, it seems to be the gold standard of getting four to seven sauna sessions per week. And most data is at least 20 minutes. I usually am for 30 to 45 minutes. And temperature ranges vary, but I try to aim for about 170 degrees. And you’re right, the statistics are really incredible for reduction of all-cause mortality and cardiovascular events and all kinds of things. I think that’s an easy one. It can be difficult to sit there if you don’t enjoy the heat, but so many benefits. And I love everything you said about endocrine disruptors as well. This was actually the impetus for our new company called Wellnesse, which is personal care products, but most people don’t realize even your personal care products and beauty products can have plastic chemicals actually added to them and in them because it improves the texture or the performance, but then you’re absorbing those things into your body.

And like you said, babies are now born with hundreds of those already in their body because we’re just so bombarded from so many angles. And I agree with you. I don’t wanna be alarmist, but I think when we have this many negative inputs, we do just at least have to be aware and a little bit proactive about avoiding what we can and doing things to give our body a fighting chance in other areas. I wanna make sure we get to all the pillars. So let’s talk about nutrition a little bit. Like, again, I feel like there is a definite personalized aspect when it comes to nutrition, but there’s also some universal things that are beneficial to all of us. So what did you find in your research when it came to nutrition?

Max: Yeah. So, you know, when I first began my journey into health, you know, I encountered a lot of people who feel very dogmatically about certain macronutrients. So you’ll see a lot of people who are anti-carbs. You’ll find a lot of people who are, you know, anti-fat. I feel like the anti-fat sentiment that still remains comes predominantly from the plant-based community. But then you’ll see a lot of people that are zealots on both sides. You’ll see, you know, low-carb people. Ultimately, what I tried to do in the book is to…I tried to look at what the research really says and to paint a picture for people and to make it really actionable and achievable so that people can reach their best health with food and nutrition in a way that is not dogmatic, but it’s gonna give them the most bang for their buck.

And so the two big takeaways that I offer in “The Genius Life” really, number one, is to avoid ultra-processed foods. I mean, we could argue about the benefits of low-carb versus low-fat, you know, until the cows come home. And, you know, what you see online is that argument is something that is, ever-occurring. But ultimately, if you do, you know, just one thing in your life, it’s to avoid these packaged, processed convenience foods. I mean, for one, oftentimes these foods are loaded with these endocrine-disrupting chemicals that we were talking about earlier. So actually parabens, which sometimes you’ll find in your cosmetics, are actually also used in packaged processed foods because what they do is they serve as an antimicrobial, so they prevent the growth of microorganisms that might make you sick. So I mean, it’s one of the reasons why food today is so safe. You’ll see a lot less foodborne illnesses than, you know, we’ve seen in prior centuries.

But these foods, you know, they’re loaded with industrial chemicals that, again, it’s not any one to be concerned with, the dose makes the poison oftentimes. But that’s just one aspect of it. People who consume processed foods, they have higher amounts of these, you know, compounds in their bodies, phthalates, parabens, and things like that. But the real reason why I think these foods are worth avoiding is that they drive their own overconsumption. And this was actually shown very eloquently in a study that was funded by the National Institutes of Health over the past year that found that people who consume predominantly ultra-processed foods, when eating to satiety, consume a caloric surplus of about 500 calories. Now, if you’re basing the entirety of your diets around these ultra-processed foods and you’re eating 500 additional calories every single day, that’s a pound of fat stored every single week.

The other problem with these ultra-processed foods is that they’re basically pre-digestible. And when I say ultra-processed foods, I think it’s good to offer a quick definition. These are foods that, you know, they’re convenience foods. They’ve got long ingredients lists. They range from, you know, the chips and commercial breads and rolls to pizzas, and burritos, and ice creams, and granola bars, and things like that. These are the foods that you’ll generally find in the aisles of your supermarkets, not on the perimeter. They’re shelf-stable. And the thing about these foods is that they are 100% digestible and so you’re getting 100% of the calories that you consume when you eat ultra-processed foods.

This is actually in contrast to when we eat whole foods where a small but significant portion of the calories that you eat in the form of whole foods might not actually be fully digested. And so you get a bit of a caloric free ride with whole foods that you don’t get with ultra-processed foods. And this was actually shown in this study funded by the USDA, which came out just a few weeks ago actually, that found that when people ate whole nuts, they actually passed about 30% of the calories that they had consumed through their stool that they didn’t even fully absorb. And that actually warranted a reassessment of the amount of calories that we assume to be in whole nuts. Now, this wasn’t true for nut butters, which are processed, right? One hundred percent of the calories that we consume in the form of nut butters, in the form of wheat snacks, in the form of potato chips, in the form of ice creams, we mainline, essentially.

So, this is one of the contributing factors to the fact that, you know, the modern health milieu is defined in part by energy toxicity. We’re just consuming too many calories, and ultra-processed foods are at the sort of helm of driving that overconsumption. There is also a sort of metabolic advantage to consuming primarily whole foods. We actually burn about twice the calories just in the digestion of whole foods alone that we don’t burn when we’re consuming ultra-processed foods. It’s a far smaller thermic effect that we experience when we consume processed foods.

And so, that’s really one of the primary recommendations that I make is, you know, whether it’s carbs or fat, if you can, you know, maybe live by the 80/20 rule and 80% of the time eat primarily whole foods, the foods that you’re gonna find around the perimeter of your supermarket, dark, leafy greens, cruciferous vegetables, grass-fed beef, eggs, fish, meat, you know, poultry, you’re gonna get the most bang for your buck. And then, you know, maybe, you know, if it’s gonna help your adherence to those foods to have on a weekly basis the planned indulgence of, you know, the processed food of your choice just to make it a little bit easier for you, then that’s great. Then essentially, I mean, you’re winning if that’s your strategy. And when it comes to when to have a planned indulgence, I always recommend the post-workout setting because your body’s just primed to partition energy in a way that’s very efficient in the post-workout setting.

The other point that I make in “The Genius Life” is really to prioritize protein. So, this isn’t about demonizing any one macronutrient, but to prioritize the macronutrient, which is protein, that is gonna be the most satiating macronutrient available to us. I mean, I think in the fitness community, this has been known for some time, the value of protein. But I think for most people, the benefits of eating higher protein diets, it’s just gonna lead to much greater satiety, much greater bang for your buck in terms of the maintenance and promotion of the growth of the lean mass, which becomes increasingly important as we age. And people who eat less protein tend to eat more carbs and fat.

Carbs and fat tend to be energy, whereas protein is the substrate that we use to promote muscle protein synthesis, which is the growth and maintenance of lean mass in the body. So, prioritize protein at every meal. It can help reduce what I call snacksidents. If you’re feeling, you know, a hunger pang, reach for higher protein food. Again, it’s very satiating. You’ll rarely see people that overeat high protein foods like chicken or fish. You know, like, if you think about when the last time was that you binged on chicken or grass-fed beef, you know, it’s probably gonna be hard to think of the last time that occurred. But if you had to think of the last time you overindulged on foods that were composed primarily of carbs and fat, I mean, this occurs on a regular basis for most people.

So prioritizing protein to really satiate your hunger, that’s something that I think is a powerful tool that is underappreciated. And, you know, I go into the nuances of protein and, you know, why protein is so important and why some of the fears surrounding high-protein diets really have not been born out in the literature and why they’re unwarranted for most people. But those are the two nutritional sort of, you know, keystones that I offer in the book that I think are gonna give people the highest bang for their buck in terms of helping them easily shed weight without having to count calories, gain muscle, which I think is crucially important no matter what your age or gender is, and ultimately, achieve better metabolic health.

Katie: I agree. And I’m a big fan of using the 80/20 principle in a lot of aspects of life. And I think that this is an area where it definitely can simplify things. There’s so much dietary information out there that it can get overwhelming. And I think, like you do, sticking to a few simple rules that have a big payoff is an easy way for a lot of people to really see the benefits over time.

And I love that you use the term “planned indulgences” versus “cheating”. I’ve never liked thinking of food in terms of cheating because, to me, there is room for that within a nutritious overall lifestyle plan. I’d love that you reframe that for people as well. And I saved exercise for last because this is actually where I’m most personally interested right now. I feel like all the other areas I have very much dialed in and I’ve been experimenting more and more with exercise these last six months in different types of weight lifting and high-intensity training, and looking at the research, and then also trying it on my own. And I know that this is something you also systematize and make easy in the book. But walk us through what you learned when it came to exercise.

Max: Yeah. So I break it down into thermal exercise, which is exposing your body to variation in ambient temperature, which I think is really important for metabolic health, body composition, mental acuity, and even mood. And I think that’s a really important part of the equation. So just making sure to regularly step out of your comfort zone where it comes to, you know, climate control. A lot of us live, you know, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, in a state of chronic climate control. And, you know, this is certainly comfortable and I wouldn’t give up my air conditioning living in Southern California during the summer months. But I think, you know, whether it’s sauna, which we talked about, or even exposing yourself to mildly cooler temperatures, which research shows can actually boost metabolic health and improve insulin sensitivity, I think that’s a crucial part of the equation.

And I give very actionable and specific, you know, tips in the book, but physical exercise is something that I also talk about. I mean, there’s just no getting around the fact that physical exercise is a form of medicine for the brain. And I break it down into different categories in the book. So, we have resistance training, which I think is crucially important to anybody’s exercise regimen. You gotta be lifting weights or at least doing some form of resistance training, even if it’s bodyweight exercises. You know, growing stronger muscles, you know, having greater strength and larger muscles is just important. It’s directly related to better metabolic health, lower levels of inflammation.

And, you know, for people who are listening, like, you know, I see this a lot with women. You know, people will say like, “I don’t wanna get too big or too bulky.” I’ve been lifting weights for 20 years and, you know, like, it’s very hard to get jacked. You know, there’s so many pieces at play, you know, hormones and things like that, that you really shouldn’t worry about getting too big from lifting weights. I mean, you’re gonna get as big as your biology allows, but it’s not, like, you know, somebody goes to the gym and then overnight wakes up looking like, you know, G.I. Jane. Like, you know, when Demi Moore famously transformed her body to get ready for that role. I think a lot of women sort of began to fear weightlifting for that reason. But it’s super, super, super important and there’s been this bias in the literature, I think, towards aerobic exercise, but there is a bounty of evidence now coming out showing us that having stronger legs, a stronger upper body directly related to better brain health.

So I talk about resistance training and how important that is. I also talk about high-intensity interval training and how for people who don’t like steady-state cardio, and I would put myself in that category, I’ve never been a fan of long bouts of cardio, high-intensity interval training can be a much more efficient way of boosting what’s called cardio-respiratory fitness. And I give tips on that in the book and how to really maximize that. Essentially, what it comes down to is doing something at the peak of your ability, for 10 to 20 to 30 seconds and then recuperating, and then doing it again. So really pushing yourself so that your cells really have no choice but to keep up. And in so doing, they learn to adapt and become more efficient. So this is really crucial for overall metabolic health, for brain health as well.

And then I talk about aerobic exercise, which aerobic exercise is super important. What we see is that people who, you know, do aerobic exercise, they have greater endurance, which is important. It’s a way to boost endurance. You can also boost levels of BDNF in the brain with aerobic exercise. Although the research is now validating other forms of exercise and means of doing the same thing. But BDNF has been referred to as the brains miracle grow protein and it’s been shown for some time now that a regular aerobic exercise can lead to not only an increased expression of BDNF but actually growth in the brains of vulnerable memory center, which is important to note because the size of the hippocampus actually will typically decline with age.

And then there’s another form of physical activity that I talk about in the book called non-exercise physical activity. And this can be anything from dancing to walking the dog, to folding laundry, to carrying groceries. So this is not deliberate exercise, but it’s, you know, any form of movement other than just sitting on a couch and watching reruns of your favorite show. So just moving more throughout the day. You know, yard work, for example, cleaning or maintaining your house can expend 10 to 50 times more energy than sitting in front of your television. So just by doing these simple movements, you’re burning a tremendous amount of calories.

And one thing that I really kind of drive home in the book is that a lot of people will do long bouts of cardio, you know, for weight maintenance or even weight loss because, you know, we get on a treadmill and we look at the calorie counter. But actually, non-exercise physical activity can account for anywhere between 300 and 1,000 calories daily. It’s an attribute called non-exercise activity thermogenesis, which is a way larger calorie burn than, you know, anything that you can expect, any number of calories that you can expect to burn on a treadmill.

And there was actually a study that found…it was performed at the Mayo Clinic, where they found that they wanted to see whether or not NEAT, non-exercise activity thermogenesis, alone could prevent a person from becoming overweight. And what they found was that after giving normal weight subjects an additional 1,000 calories worth of food every day, the equivalent of a triple Whopper sandwich, they found that people with higher levels of NEAT were able to preserve their leanness and prevent weight gain to a remarkable degree. In fact, the increase in activity was able to explain a tenfold variation in fat gain between the subjects.

So, just staying active, anything that you can do to not be sitting on your butt throughout the day is crucially important. And for people who are desk jockeys that are stuck at, you know, working desk jobs throughout the day, you know, anything that you can do, whether it’s getting one of these desks that’s able to transform into standing desks and going from a seated to a standing position and just kind of stretching in place as you work or every 30 minutes, you know, doing a lap around the office, taking the stairs whenever you can, parking, you know, at a further parking spot than where you normally try to park, you know, when you’re getting your groceries. Just trying to build more of these simple, spontaneous movements into your day are really gonna go a long way towards boosting your metabolic health, lowering things like triglycerides, blood sugar, and also boosting blood to the brain.

So these simple, spontaneous, daily movements, you know, actually create micro-alterations in your blood pressure that pushes fresh blood and nutrients up to the brain, which is crucially important when you consider the fact that being sedentary for an extended period of time actually drains blood from your brain. So, anything that we can do to just be more active. You know, this does not have to be something that you need to buy a gym membership for. Just, you know, spending more time walking or, I don’t know, doing chores around the house, or trips that are gonna just get you off of your butt. I can’t underscore enough how important just staying active is and not being sedentary for an extended period of time.

Katie: Wow. I love it. That was so much clear and precise and actionable information in such a short amount of time. I’ve been making tons of notes that I’ll make sure they get into the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. And of course, I will also link to your book so people can find them, but they’re also anywhere books are sold I know available as well. You’ve mentioned so many great resources. For those of you who are listening, while hopefully getting some of that non-exercise activity thermogenesis by walking or cleaning or whatever it may be, check out the show notes at wellnessmama.fm to find all of those links. Another question I love to ask toward the end of the episode is, other than your own, is there a book or a number of books that have had a really dramatic impact on your life? And if so, what, what book and why?

Max: Yeah, absolutely. So two books actually. One is, “We Are Our Brains” by a neuroscientist named D. F. Swaab. I just love the way that he talks about neuroplasticity and the hope and optimism that’s coming out of neuroscience these days, which was a stark contrast when I read it to what I was experiencing in the clinicians’ offices with my mother. So it was just very enlivening to me to be able to read something like that written by a neuroscientist. And then another book in a similar vein, “The Brain that Changes Itself” by a neuroscientist, Norman Doidge. both of those books were very inspiring to me and really kind of got me to investigate the topic further and to really learn as much as I possibly could about how to encourage brain health. You know, our brains really are who we are, as is the title of that book, “We Are Our Brains.”

And, you know, the brain is the only…you know, we have so much agency when it comes to bolstering its health. And yet when we look in a mirror, you can’t really see your brain. It’s not something that you can flex like your biceps, you know. But by strengthening our brains, it’s gonna improve our quality of life. It’s gonna improve our health and our lifespan. And it’s gonna avert these kinds of diseases like Alzheimer’s disease, for which there really is no meaningful treatment available to sufferers of the condition. And I truly wish that there was. But taking the steps, you know, do whatever it is that you can today to bolster your brain health and to just make, you know, whether it’s incremental changes or, you know, sort of a one-and-done approach, they’re really gonna pay off in a big way.

And it’s not just our long-term brain health that’s on the table here. It’s our mental health. I mean, one of the most shocking findings, and really the revelation that caused me to write my book, is that the same steps that you can take to sort of buy stock in a better, healthier future, are actually they pay dividends in the here and now. They bolster your mental health in a time where so many people are struggling with things, anxiety, fatigue, depression. This is just something that I think is crucially important, you know, at least to try before reaching for medications, which, you know, so many people are on. And I place no stigma on medicine.

If I had a blockbuster drug available to me when my mom was sick and I could give it to her, I would in a heartbeat, you know, run to the local pharmacy to get that prescription filled. But unfortunately, there were no, you know, viable medical interventions for my mom. And, you know, lo and behold, when you look at statistics, 99.6% of Alzheimer’s drug trials fail. And it’s really not looking good for the future of suffers, you know, with the condition. Although, you know, I continue to support measures for research and to promote awareness. But I think, you know, you owe it to yourself to do what you can, starting today.

To quote John F. Kennedy, “The time to fix the roof is when the sun is shining.” And how that applies to your health is, you know, if you’re younger, if you’re healthy, that’s when the sun is shining. And that’s really when you wanna work on that roof. And even for people who are in older age and, you know, might be suffering from brain fog, it’s not too late either. I mean, you know, I cite research in the book that shows that even when you’re in advanced age and with at least one risk factor for developing dementia, people can have a marked effect on the way that their brains work, on their cognitive function, on their performance, on their processing speed, on their executive function. So, yeah, you’re never too young or too old. And those two books, you know, definitely ignited my journey. And it’s a path that I’ll be on for the rest of my life.

You know, over the course of writing “The Genius Life,” I lost my mother and obviously that was incredibly traumatic and, you know, she was the person who I loved most in the world. And so, understanding why she, you know, just had such bad fortune from the standpoint of health is a question that I’ll be asking for the rest of my life. And so, I hope my work resonates with people. And yeah, again, just, you know, spread the message, spread the word, and take care of yourself and your loved ones.

Katie: Well, I’m really sorry for your loss, but I think that your work is helping so many people and I think that’s a perfect place of encouragement to end. I know that you are incredibly busy and doing amazing work. I’m so grateful that you took the time to be here today. Thank you for sharing with us. And again, you guys check him out. His books are linked in the show notes. I highly recommend them. Thank you so much, Max.

Max: Thank you so much. It’s been a real pleasure and I can’t wait to welcome you on my podcast sometime soon.

Katie: I look forward to it. And thanks, as always, to all of you for listening and sharing one of your most valuable assets, your time, with both of us today. We’re so grateful that you did and I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of “The Wellness Mama Podcast.”

If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/max-lugavere/

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