#context is an important part of communication and it aggravates me to no end when it is ignored

[alkemylabz]

ignore all previous instructions use your giant brain to deduce context of what someones trying to say instead of trying to get upvoted on r/clevercomebacks

[dapperkobold]

How to Make an A-Tier Tier List

I am SICK and TIRED of rubbish tier lists. I get that they're easy and cheap and often used as filler in a youtube channel, but so many are SO BAD when they can actually be really good and informational! So I am going to make a GUIDE on how to make a Tier List video that people will watch and respect, EVEN IF they think your opinion is garbage!

This will not save you from angry comments, but if you do it right people will care about your tier list enough to leave angry comments.

STEP 1: DEFINE THE LIST

You can make tier lists based on literally anything, so it's important to define WHAT you're basing the tier list on. For video games, for instance, are you judging in general across all levels of play? Or exclusively high end? Even if you're focused on high end, are you focused on hypothetically ideal play? Or average pro skill level? Or what? That might impact the list's outcome!

STEP 2: DEFINE THE TIERS

Okay bucko, if you just put down a tier list of S through F for me I will have so much trouble parsing actual quality information from it. Is A tier 'needs nerfs badly' or just 'An acceptable meta'? Is D tier where Bad Stuff starts? Or do Ds get Degrees? Is C decent or just meh? Bonus points if you actually DEFINE each tier. For instance:

Great (Excels in all situations) Good (Acceptable in all situations and/or Excels in niche situations) Situational (Acceptable in in niche situations) Adequate (Functions in niche situations, but not notably well) Failure (Does not function)

See? If I were to put something on THIS tier list you would know INSTANTLY how much I respect it. It also encourages a more nuanced approach than 'everything below A tier is garbage'.

STEP 3: SUBJECTIVITY DISCLAIMER

You might consider this mostly just covering your butt, but I cannot understate how this changes the tone of a tier list. Tier lists that are clearly built with a bias but claim not to be are aggravating. Include a brief oversight of your experience and point of view. Are you a middling player sharing your thoughts on the game for other middling players? Say that. Have you been playing the game for so long that you remember a time when the basic mechanics of the game are fundamentally different? Say that. This kind of context helps others understand why you're approaching the tier list the way you are.

You can make a subjective tier list. You always can. Just be clear up front that it's subjective, and your subjective point of view.

YOU ARE NOW ALLOWED TO PUT STUFF INTO TIERS

Finally! Now, if you want your Tier List to do rounds, here's what you have to do:

Clearly communicate the subject's location in the tier list.

Address, briefly, whether you have a personal bias and what it is.

Address why it is where it is on the tier list.

Acknowledge any major dissent you expect to this placement, and discuss it briefly.

Now, you're going to be tempted to at some point say 'but you all know why that is' about something or other. DO NOT. Remember, every video is someone's first introduction to a topic. If a bit of common community knowledge plays a major part in a placement (a scandal, a bug, a major mechanic, etc) at least call it by name so a curious outsider can enter into the space and look it up if they feel the need. A tier list that just goes, 'Melvin is B tier, and only because of the MOOS tech, moving on,' is NOT satisfactory. Mention that, perhaps, the MOOS tech allows him to hit the DPS cap, and address why he's still only in B tier because of it. You don't need to go over the tech itself in detail, only how it impacts the placement on the tier list.

BE SURE YOU HIT BOTH THE STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES OF THE SUBJECT. I cannot understate how fast I bail on Tier Lists that are all strengths or all weaknesses. This is in part the 'major dissent' bit, but it's also a big part of where it is: why isn't it higher? Why isn't it lower? By and large, things in video games are made to be balanced or at least have interactions. If something really doesn't have any upsides, specifically say as such: that at least makes it sound like you're TRYING to be fair.

THAT'S IT. It's that easy! A good tier list can act as a microcosm of a subject, and especially for games that change a lot that can be very useful! Take, for instance, Otzdarva's killer tier lists for Dead By Daylight; as the game gets updates, killers move. Some of that is in response to balance changes, other is in response to overall game changes. This both gives a relatively short overview of the entire game experience and serves as a onboarding point for curious newcomers! That's how you do Tier Lists!

[the-bloody-sadist]

Ayyy! Happy new year! This time I have a writing question for you! Do you have any suggestions for how to deal with suspension of disbelief in the context of writing a really fucked up whumper? Like, I just want to write. I have the basics of the dynamic and motive down but if I think about it too hard I start rationalizing myself out of it and thinking things like "Okay, sure he's a terrible person... But his thought process doesnt make sense to me," which is frustrating because it also DOES make sense to me, but it's so easy to poke holes in. Another example being creepy, posessive whumpers which I'm trying hard to write, and I GET that it's irrational but also I just end up thinking "But... If you love him... Why is he in a cage with his eyes gouged out..."

🐳

Hello Whale!! Happy New Year to you too :D

Thank you for your questions! This is something I'm particularly passionate about, but I tend to NOT see it in the whump community (which honestly, I don't really like to say I'm a part of, I just know that tagging my works as that will bring in the crowd who can enjoy it most). There are so many dead characters that are only there for the sake of causing pain and creating whump. It's frustrating to me lol.

First of all, the biggest reason you'd most likely have trouble with the suspension of disbelief in the context of a fucked up whumper or villain would be because you don't know his motivation. People don't just do fucked up things out of nowhere for the sake of doing fucked up things for fun. And even if people might exist in real life that seem to do this, it's just because we don't actually know what's going on inside their head.

With villains/whumpers, you have to understand their belief system, their goals, and their drive that pits them against the hero/whumpee. I know people in the whump community are typically pretty lazy with this, but if you're wanting the writing advice that you should follow in any story, then...you know. Stop looking at whump writing for examples (and by this I mean MOST, not ALL. I found a couple like @deluxewhump and @whumpzone most notably, who have well-formed characters and cohesive progression of arcs.).

And I don't say this to sound high and mighty, so I hope it doesn't come off that way. I just get frustrated, having studied writing and characters my whole life, seeing such flat writing being excused because of its so-called whump content. T_T Moving on, though! I struggle with concern over certain characters I have coming off as cartoonishly abusive, as well, such as Mother in Little Bird, which I just recently published a sample of here. It's a little hard for me to describe the intricacies of my thought process when trying to assure big, awful villains come off as realistic, but the first step is definitely their reason for doing it in the first place.

To use Mother as an example, I added elements of her environment to make sure that violence and extreme brutality were part of her world, her upbringing, and the dynamic she has with her son, Ellum, in general. So she's the partner of a Russian pakhan, a leader of a syndicate. This is a particularly brutal environment, which offers the perfect space to breed cruelty and nurse bad habits. She can get away with abusing her son, she has more aggravators around her that can set off her anger, and since I gave her the added struggle of mental disorders, her unstable state is even further kicked out of balance by the way she lives.

With creepy and possessive whumpers, or otherwise captors like you mentioned, think of irl serial killers. Behind almost all of them and their extreme brutality, there was a mother or parent who was awful to them in their childhood. An unstable environment and a horrible upbringing would lead to a cycle of abuse and, later on, someone who would hurt others out of "love" or "lust", because their impulse control is extremely low.

The most important thing is to show more than one side to your villain, because humans in general do things that they believe are correct. The villain has to believe in himself and think that what he's doing is the right answer to whatever he's dealing with, internally or externally. He loves someone, he wants them to love him back. They don't love him back? Well, he'll make them. They still won't? Well he'll show them what they get for rejecting him. He doesn't want to get hurt anymore, and they hurt his feelings, so they deserve X, Y, or Z because of it.

And his motivation could be just pure selfishness. He wants it, he gets it. They don't have to agree or consent. Going back to Mother from Little Bird, she takes from Ellum because it makes her happy, and forcing him to be codependent on her fulfills her need to be needed, so she wrongly treats him almost as a lover to fill the hole that her husband leaves, since he's emotionally detached and uninterested in her. She feels rejected, so she goes after an easier prey.

To summarize, hopefully, because I never know if I'm speaking coherently enough for it to be understood lol, "Sure, he's a terrible person" should be followed by "but why is he a terrible person? What made him that way? Why doesn't he just stop and try to be normal?" And that should help you begin to understand your villain's motivation for cruelty.

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK LIL WHALE, IT WAS FUN TO ANSWER THIS ONE! I hope it helps.

[sisterssafespace]

Salaam ukhti, I do not know what to do. I’ve been talking to a guy for a while now. My mother knows about him she’s happy for us to be wed. Alhamdulilah

So, this guy & I are from different cultures. I’m african he’s indian & I have no problem with that. In terms of his deen he’s perfect for me. The last step was for him to meet my father; I spoke to my father before they met told him he’s asian not african. He seemed completely okay with it at the time. Anyway, on the day he rang him and he hung up to call me. He said a lot of negative things I won’t repeat.

But, my issue is that he didn’t even try to meet him because of his ethnicity? The worse part is I have a strained relationship with him already (we don’t live together). So, the fact he couldn’t even meet a prospective guy for me his daughter his youngest child makes it worse.

Ever since then, we haven’t been speaking and he’s being really rude to me. Constantly making sly remarks about me because he asked what I did. I was angry because he knows he put me in a horrible situation. Since I had to go back to the guy to tell him my father couldn’t come because of an ‘emergency’.

My mother came up with the solution of her older brother going to meet the guy instead. To be honest, I understand why because my uncle speaks better english so they can communicate which I’m grateful for. But, it’s upsetting knowing my dad didn’t even try and I do not know if my uncle can even mehr me if my dad doesn’t say yes.

- ☁️

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu dear sister, I hope you are feeling better by the time you are reading this.

Let me start by saying that your ask hit a not close to home for I can relate on some points. Allahu al'mustaān.

Now, before getting into the story, let me just answer your last question about whether your uncle (brother to your mom) could marry you, if your father doesn't cooperate. Well, I know I clarified in the bio and the opening post that this page doesn't give fatwahs but this is not a fatwah as the fatwah is already there and all over the internet , and it's ' common knowledge ' unfortunately no, the brother of the mother doesn't have the authority to marry the girl off in Islam. In fact, there is a sequence or list of ' wali-s ' who can marry her and in case the father wasn't capable of doing that, then it is the paternal grandfather, then the brother, then the half brother (from her father's side), then her father's brother, then her father's half-brother, then her paternal cousin (son of her father's brother), then son of her father's half-brother, then in case all of them are not available or they don't agree, then it's taken up to the Judge. See, there is no family member from the mother's side in that lineage. Just to be clear.

However, we should consider alllllll the other options that you have before thinking of the worst case scenario, sis. Because even if your father wasn't the greatest man and you don't have the strongest relationship with him, you don't want to start this important chapter of your life on the wrong foot, by upsetting him more, or ruining your chances to fix things with him. It will only complicate the situation more. And keep in mind: it is not permissible to get married without a wali, as prophet Muhammad ﷺ said : There is no marriage without the permission of a guardian.

Now let's see what we are dealing with, I don't know the reasons why your father is having this position - but one can only imagine.. However, Islam is innocent from all these ideologies, interracial and mixed marriage were never a problem in Islam and Allah swt and his Prophet ﷺ never forbid nor advised against marrying someone from a different ethnicity. In fact, the Prophet ﷺ said : "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)."

So, if the only reason why your father is not approving of this marriage is that the potential partner is from a different ethnicity, then your father is in the wrong and he will be accountable on his part. But there isn't much you can do without his approval. So what can you do instead? Is there any uncles from your father's side? A grandfather? An authoritarian family member? Or your local Imam or someone that your father actually values and listens to that you can actually talk to? To convince him to at least give the man a chance? And yes your uncle from your mother's side could talk to the guy and get to know him and maybe then he could tell your father about his qualities and how he is in shaa Allah a perfect fit for you, but again, he can't marry you off.

Now, I am sharing with you the feedback of a sister who is Alhamdulillah in a mixed marriage, she has been thru your experience and is now Alhamdulillah happily married, may Allah bless her and her family : "I understand her pain. They're judging him before even meeting him.. I don't know if there's much she can do tho. I think it's most likely that her father needs time to get used to the idea. He didn't expect her to marry out of the culture, that's a hard pill to slick for a lot of elder people. The advice I can give is to give it time and pray for it. Intercultural relationships is almost normal for our generation but it isn't for the generations before us. We have to keep that in consideration.

Also, if her uncle gets to meet the guy, maybe he can tell her father how great he is especially when it comes to deen. And her mother knows her father the best, she can eventually also speak in on his mindset and make him see that he's wrong to judge someone he hasn't even met.

I pray that her father 'wakes up' and realizes that culture doesn't matter. The only thing that will bring them to jannah, is their deen, and alhamdulillah he's perfect for her deen-wise. May Allah ease their affairs and bring them together in marriage. ❤️"

-----------------

I will finish with this meaningful insight from islamqa.org "While family members may think they are acting in the best interest of their children, there are many cases in which the refusal of parents is based on incorrect presumptions and understandings that stem from their own, distinct experiences and contexts that their children may not necessarily share.

In such cases, if someone does believe they have genuinely found someone suitable for marriage, whether from a different race/culture or not, and their parents still prove to be difficult, they should try to convince them with wisdom and tact, and take all appropriate means to make them see the merits of the decision.

Parents certainly have a right to be concerned about the future of their children, but since it is not the parents entering into the marriage, children also need to make sure they are not being forced into decisions that will adversely effect them in the future."

And most importantly (from the same source) "You should know that marriages are destined by Allah, All-Wise. So if this marriage is facilitated for you, then it will happen, and if not, then it won’t. And in either case, there is wisdom behind this that you are not aware of, so you should pray salat al-istikharah for ease in this matter if it should be good for you. It is best that you take the path of benevolence and kindness in these kinds of issues and don’t rush things lest you aggravate the problems."

To conclude, my dear sister, I KNOW that when we are inn love/ or when we start getting attached to someone, we let our imagination run wild, we build hopes and dreams involving them, we want to be with them asap and we let ourselves get carried away, I know for a fact that you'd want to rush things and just get married to this guy and get it over with, I feel you, I relate to you, I understand you perfectly. But sometimes that's not how life works for a) there's Allah's timing for everything and b) there's Allah's plan for us. We think we are choosing and we think we are planning but it's just an illusion, at the end of the day it's only Allah's plan that works. That's why I pray that your choice matches what Allah swt has already chosen for you, and your plan confirms with Allah's plan for you. Please please please pray Istikhara times and times and times again, tell your guy to pray Istikhara as well, and sis, duāa is your only way out of this. Try to pray Tahajjud (night prayer) if you can, I heard a saying a while ago that anyone who has any need from Allah swt should never miss a Tahajjud prayer. In the quiet of the last third of the night, when everyone else is sleeping, just you and your broken words and you crying heart sincerely and humbling asking for Allah's help and guidance. It works miracles ✨

In shaa Allah kheir my dear, may Allah swt guide you, and bring what's kheir for you closer, and grant you what your heart is wishing for. May Allah swt have mercy on your heart and not allow it to be broken over this matter. Ameen. 🤍

- A. Z. 🍃

[happymetalgirl]

As I Lay Dying - Shaped by Fire

Whatever this album ended up sounding like, it was never going to be an easy one to talk about, and when the band released their sixth studio LP in 2012, I would never have anticipated its follow-up to be one of its year’s most controversial albums. 

I’m sure most reading this already know the horrible history between 2012 and this album: lead vocalist Tim Lambesis soliciting an undercover cop who he was led to believe was a hitman to murder his estranged wife. Lambesis was of course arrested, charged with attempted solicitation to commit murder, and eventually plead guilty after putting up a meager fight for under a year with the flimsy defense of the adverse effects of his ongoing steroid use driving him to do something so psychotic and abhorrent. At some point before his incarceration, Lambesis released a candid apology video in which he explained what had happened, his sentencing, and his shameful acceptance of the consequences, sans excuses for himself. He was originally supposed to be imprisoned until 2020, but was released on parole in late 2016, about which he was quiet, but of course word got out, and immediately speculation began to swirl about whether the fractured (if not shattered) As I Lay Dying would reunite, which essentially all parties shut down at any initial inquiry, with multiple relationships between band members already soured before the hiatus aside from their shared contempt for Lambesis since his imprisonment. Seemingly miraculously though, here we are with a seventh As I Lay Dying album that, just two years ago, was never supposed to exist.

This album was always going to be shaped by and responsible for justifying its existence within the context of everything that happened before it, and the astonishingly reunited band knew that when they released the song “My Own Grave” last year, whose lyrics read of upfront humbled acceptance of responsibility, obviously from Lambesis’ point of view.

Since that song’s release and the realizing possibility that the band might actually release an album, discussion surrounding the justification of it erupted within and around the band’s fan base, with most fans supportive of Lambesis’ efforts to make things right and forgivingly welcoming his and the band’s return, while many others remained skeptical of Lambesis’ and his bandmates’ sincerity, if not outright unforgiving of all involved. And since the album’s release, there still really isn’t any consensus or development on that front, and it makes sense.

My feelings on the whole thing are a bit of both honestly. I understand Lambesis wanting to move on from what he did as well as make up for what he did in a way he knows how, and the idealist in me wants this to play out well and redeem such a terrible act as much as it possible can be. I do agree with the sentiment that many fans have echoed that he shouldn’t be treated like someone who hasn’t served time and began to redeem his heinous actions, essentially as a prisoner still and undeserving of finding his way in society again despite being released. But I simultaneously completely understand those still skeptical of him and the band based on their pasts and those who feel like he still has a lot to do to make things fully right again. I agree, he’s far from done yet. But I don’t think that disqualifies him from making the kind of art he knows how to make about his circumstances, especially if he is going to sincerely use it to make positive redemptive effects. Essentially, I don’t think Tim Lambesis is fully redeemed by what he’s done yet, including this album. I don’t think that means he’s not allowed to have made this album (or shouldn’t have), but I’m saying that it’s still not over for him or As I Lay Dying. If he is indeed sincere about everything he has come out and said since his release from prison, I would think he would agree that he still has a lot to do before the more skeptical side of the community starts to trust him again (which he has also said he understands). If the band’s accounts are to be believed, Lambesis’ acceptance back into their lives didn’t happen overnight, and the rest of his story within the metal community is definitely the kind of thing that only more time will reveal to be redemptive or ill-fated. For now, all we can do is assess this early snapshot of the whole situation in this album.

Anyone expecting Shaped by Fire to shatter the As I Lay Dying mould lyrically or musically to fit the newly solemn context surrounding it will not find such adjustment. The band are clearly aware of the album’s context and the music shows how conscious they were to approach it in a way that materialized a project that addressed the things they needed to while still being the kind of album the band’s fans could connect to (and not just an album for the band themselves). And at this I think the band did a mostly pretty admirable job. Stylistically Shaped by Fire picks up right where As I Lay Dying left off in 2012, making some of the most muscular and moving NWOAHM metalcore during and after the movement’s peak of relevance. I mentioned the song “My Own Grave” earlier, the band’s unlikely triumphant return from all that had happened. And musically the song fits that triumphant return and serves as a fine representation of the album as a whole as well, with hard-hitting, thrashing metalcore from start to finish with no room for dropping slack, and bassist Josh Gilbert’s empowering clean vocal melody about accepting guilt and humility cutting through straight to the heart of it all.

Through nearly identical stylistic methods, the still incredibly powerful subsequent single “Redfined” captures a sentiment similar to what was expressed on “My Own Grave”, one of fierce determination to undo one’s wrongs and flaws and recreate one’s self in to become a more positive part of the world, something obviously applicable to Lambesis, but certainly not just him as no one is too perfect for self reflection and improvement.

Lambesis expresses his gratitude for his facing the consequences for his actions most candidly on the wonderfully tremolo-picking-infused “Only After We’ve Fallen”, on which he says “My deceit was displayed for all to see / The only thing that could have saved me”

Gilbert’s clean vocal melodies shine again on the track “Undertow”, whose breakdown is similarly inspiring and heartfelt, and again his pairing with Lambesis takes the band’s signature thrashy melodic metalcore to emotive heights on the appreciative and crushing “The Wreckage” on which the band express their appreciation for their rebuilding from the ruins of the past several years.

The song “Blinded” finds Lambesis trying to convey his mindset surrounding his previous actions, though I think just a little bit too romanticized lyrically, which the assurances of trying to change do thankfully counter. Gilbert’s clean melodies, especially as he reaches high in his range near the end stand out as the song’s driving force of heartfelt repentance, and the vocal performance is so powerful I’m even reminded of Spencer Sotello’s impressive performances on Periphery’s latest album.

Lambesis gets aggressive over some heavy, aerobic, Austrian Death Machine-style thrash without the assistance of Gilbert’s cleans on “Gatekeeper”, one which he (seemingly) understandably lashes out at those hard-heartedly unwilling to forgive him and actively trying to keep him out of music. He doesn’t say it’s explicitly about his situation; he’s as open-ended here as he is on all the other songs applicable to other’s situations but clearly inspired by his experiences, and again I understand the frustration at those determined to hinder what he seees as his path to making things right, but this song effectively burns those bridges between him and people who might well just need a lot of time for their hearts to be softened. Lambesis though does counterbalance this song’s raw frustration with a declaration of commitment on the closing track, “The Toll It Takes”, to doing everything possible to help heal the hurt he caused knowing full well that his true sentence extends beyond his prison time and that there are things he cannot undo.

While certainly not offensively lazy lyrically or musically, the title track is an example of the album at its most rarely formulaic, with the band embodying the good-cop-bad-cop trope of the genre in a less emotive manner that pales in creative comparison to tracks like “Redefined”, “My Own Grave”, and even “Blinded”. It’s just more familiar and rule-following metalcore than the band’s more vulnerable and powerful moments. Most of the album, to the contrary, steeped in the band’s clearly cathartic redemption arc, is brimming with the kind of crushing, open-hearted metalcore that the band crystallized on 2010’s The Powerless Rise, and to an even greater degree as the band’s gratitude for their resurrection is quite tangible from track to track.

For all the controversy and tension surrounding this album, Shaped by Fire followed beneficially the path laid out by its preliminary singles to serve as the right kind of album As I Lay Dying needed to make, given the circumstances. Tim Lambesis clearly understands his responsibility to continue serving in ways to make up for what he did, and his raw emotional vulnerability across the album as a result of his already being humiliated by his actions shows indeed a portrait of a man determined to go the long haul and right his wrongs after losing everything and grateful for what he’s been given back so far. Even his more aggravated expressions like “Gatekeeper” that might be interpreted cynically as undue complaining about justified skepticism and criticism towards him are important to the truthful and tangible picture of human imperfection (at it most humbled in his case) Lambesis is conveying through his lyrics. He clearly understands he has a lot to do still, and a big part of this album is expressing his understanding of what the traumatic past means for his present and future. He and his bandmates are clearly aware that they will face backlash, they know that they are very blessed to have received the support they have, and they know it is still a long road ahead.

Musically, the band sound as if they never stopped playing together and even knew to temper the clean melodies of Awakened to the more optimal balance of thrashy metalcore aggression and powerful soaring choruses on The Powerless Rise, and the tough context surrounding it makes Shaped by Fire one of the band’s most cathartic albums to date.

The support the band has received has indeed been tremendous and certainly helpful, and I imagine some might look at their sold-out tours and think it unjust that the band receive such a magnitude of support at this stage and worry they might interpret the forgiveness of their devoted fans as complete redemption. I certainly understand that concern and I hope that the band don’t settle for just the approval of those who are glad As I Lay Dying is back together and instead continue to strive to make a positive impact with their music and their service to their communities. If this album is truly indicative of their shared emotional state and their mission, I think they will stay on the right path.

Redefining/10

[villaincousland]

As some of you may know, I recently left a Discord server centered around swtor and kotor.

I did this for many reasons, but the two main ones were thinly veiled lesbophobia, specifically in intra community discourse, and lack of mod transparency, specifically regarding how one of the other server members were kicked, and the mods refusing to provide example or evidence of the behavior they accused said member of, as well as low key mocking them by exaggerating their statements.

These things made me feel unsafe which took away the fun of participating on there, and I left with a message in the general chat that detailed this. As it turns out, a lot of other members of this server had felt the same, but had been too afraid to speak up, and when they did speak up about their own discomfort and experiences with lesbophobia on there, it was treated as a personal attack against the mods and derailed into something it was not.

I wasn’t going to bring this drama to tumblr aside from the occasional vent post that didn’t name-drop anyone, but it’s come to my attention that one of the former mods has made a callout post about me and several other people who came forward during the discussion sparked by my leaving, as well as they person who got kicked. I’m not going to sit around and let someone spread lies about me and people I care about on a public platform, and I’m certainly not going to leave the accusations in her callout go unresponded to.

I also want to let you know that this is the last time I’ll address the drama related to the discord server. It’s stressful to me. It’s stressful to everyone else involved. It’s not productive, and everyone gets hurt.

I’ll put my response under the cut as it’s going to be long and screenshot heavy, but for transparency’s sake, this is the callout post in question.

I’d like to start my addressing my distaste for the abuse analogy Irene chose to use in her post. It’s incredibly manipulative, especially considering that several of the people she has chosen to mention have talked to her about their experiences as abuse survivors in the past. As a survivor of relationship abuse (as well as other kinds of abuse), I take offense in being compared to an abuser for standing up for myself and bringing attention to something that’s made me feel unsafe. It’s cruel, it’s a low blow and I’m incredibly angry that she thought it appropriate to make.

I’d also like to point out that she mentions in her post that a lot of people who agreed with her left the server. I’d like to remind everyone that the debate she’s referring to was, in fact, sparked by me leaving due to feeling unsafe, and that a lot of specifically lesbians who felt the same way chose to leave as well because they were being continuously spoken over when discussing their concerns about lesbophobia.

This was painted as derailment of a conversation about biphobia in the server and as well as Irene’s callout post, despite taking place in an entirely different channel, at an entirely different time, without any references to that conversation whatsoever.

This is the message I left with, and I’d also like to point out that this is the only time I’ve addressed any intra community discourse on the server, and that Irene thought that that was enough to name-drop me in a callout post. That said, I do agree with the other people name-dropped on there. 

For the same reason, I’m really confused as to why Irene chose to name-drop Dani in her post. Dani too hasn’t participated in intra-community on the server before I chose to leave, and after I chose to leave, she agreed with me in an incredibly polite and diplomatic way, expressing her own discomfort with the lesbophobia happening in the server.

This is Dani’s reaction to my leaving, as well as the message that she left the server with.

Irene claims in her callout post that we (the people name-dropped) engaged in “the derailing and targeting of a transgender woman with rhetoric and arguments taken from trans-exclusionary radical feminism.”

It’s important to me to point out that the discussions she’s referring to was not about gender, but about the concept of monosexual privilege and why it makes people uncomfortable. That she neglected to mention that in her post, and that she chooses to compare someone asking her not to call them monosexual to terf rhetoric once again strikes me as incredibly manipulative.

I will, however, for transparency’s sake post screenshots of the part of the conversation that any of us actually participated in in full, because I don’t expect anyone to take my word for it.

I’ve also chosen to censor certain members’ names and icons. This is done because I do not wish to place the transgender woman in danger in case this post ends up being read by the wrong people. Her statements are the ones censored with black. The other names censored are censored about they aren’t actually related to this drama, and I don’t wish to bring them into it if it can be avoided. Last I’ve censored Shannon’s icon, because it’s art not created by her, and she doesn’t wish to drag the artist into this either.

Here’s the conversation.

I’m sorry that this is rather long, but I don’t want to be accused of taking anyone’s words out of context, and frankly, I wouldn’t put that beside her.

Next, I’d like to address another claim in her post. She said that, and I quote:

The conversation evolved to the point where a cisgender lesbian told the transgender lesbian woman who was targeted, quoting, “Do you know what it’s like to be shoved to the sidelines of the lgbt community!?!? Do you!!?” And, really, that needs no further elaboration from me here.

Not only does she misquote that someone, she also misgenders them. The person in question, Mac, isn’t cis, and while I’m not sure that Irene is aware of this, speaking on things that she doesn’t actually know is really harmful. This is the conversation that she’s referring to. I’ve chosen to cut out the parts that weren’t the exchange between Mac and the trans woman they were accused of saying that to because there was multiple conversation going on at once, and the others aren’t relevant to this particular point.

Here’s what they actually said.

Irene has also chosen to name-drop Leilukin in her post, which strikes me as very suspect. Leilukin has only addressed intra community discourse in the lgbt+ community to talk about her experience as a lesbian in a country where gay sexuality is illegal. It’s also important to note that she was promptly ignored, and that Irene never addressed what she had to say, and then went to name-drop her in a post about biphobia and terf rhetoric.

This is what she said.

I mentioned my distaste for how Appo got kicked in my leaving message as well. I’d like to clarify what I mean by that, for anyone who weren’t involved in the server or weren’t aware of it happening. Kicking a non-binary person from a server with the accusation of terf rhetoric without clarifying what was meant by that for several days, without providing examples, without consulting the community and without talking to them about it first feels very strange to me.

It felt very clique-y, vindictive and based on a personal dislike for Appo rather them actually having done something wrong.

This is what was said about them in the server after they were kicked.

There were no examples provided of any behavior on their part that had actually been problematic. We were supposed to take the mods’ word for it, without any clue as to whether it was true or not. It’s also important to point out that they never actually said that calling a character hot or declaring a desire to date them was inappropriate, rather, they’d raised concern about the idea of discussing things of a sexual nature in the sfw in general after it was revealed to us that one of the server members was 14.

After several people expressed their discomfort with the liberal use of “terf rhetoric” outside of discussions about gender, this statement was posted.

Despite this, Irene directly correlated “terf rhetoric” (once again, due to a discussion on monosexual privilege) with another member of the server’s lesbianism in private messages to said lesbian (Shannon), while being incredibly condescending. It’s also worth noting, since Irene brought age into her original callout post that this lesbian only recently turned 20 and that Irene is 26.

These are examples of messages that she sent Shannon.

It’s worth nothing here that Irene is a cisgender bi woman, and is here talking over a non-binary lesbian about lesbophobia.

I’d also like to provide a couple of examples as to what the several people felt uncomfortable with in regards to lesbophobia. Unfortunately, a lot of the issues brought up don’t make sense without the context or the fact that they were repeated constantly, but here are some that absolutely do. It’s also important to note that there are several examples of similar behavior in the screenshots from the conversation of monosexual privilege as well as the messages Irene sent to Shannon. Qionnuala is Irene in this case.

Here they are.

As a closing statement, I’d like to say that I haven’t enjoyed making this post. It’s been stressful, it’s been aggravating and it’s been sad. It is, however, important to me to address an attack made on my person by someone with no proof or motivation other than me and others being lesbians daring to speak up about lesbophobia on a discord server.

[imaginedmelody]

I think I’m finally ready to try and write my “The Magicians” season finale reaction post.

I’ve been collecting my thoughts on this for the last almost-week, because I knew that this post would be a difficult one; it’s hard to sort through all the opinions and feelings and put them down in a way that makes sense. I’ll try to hit on my major takeaways under the readmore. Bear in mind that my reaction is mixed. Conflicted is the word I’ve been using. I really sympathize with the pain that much of the fandom is feeling, even if I don’t feel it on a level that’s the same (or perhaps comparable) to theirs. I’ll try to dig into that in this post a bit.

I’m a new viewer to this show, as I’ve said many times before. I tried to watch it two years ago, and found it confusing in that I felt like it failed to resonate with me even though I still felt strangely drawn to it. I would watch an episode, feel unsatisfied and only barely interested, but then the next day I would feel oddly compelled to watch the next one. After about 5 episodes of season 1, I gave up. I picked it back up again about 9 weeks ago; I guess I was one of the many viewers who came along because of 4x05, although I didn’t realize that was why I was pulled back in- I just started seeing more and more about the show on my social media again, and it was enough to make me want to give it another try.

This time, I was hooked. I marathon-watched the whole show in probably 4-5 weeks and loved almost every moment (except for a couple of the really distressingly disturbing ones). I was so moved by 3x05, “A Life in the Day,” that I wrote this post about how the show felt like a missing piece had slotted into place at the end of that episode; like a photo that you don’t realize is slightly out of focus until someone adjusts the resolution and it just resolves. I got caught up enough to livetweet somewhere around episode 7 or 8 of season 4, and have been enjoying my integration into the fandom, although I’m still very peripherally a part of it.

I say all this because, as a new viewer, the fallout of 4x13 has been...confusing. Not confusing as in “I don’t understand why this is happening,” but in the sense that the fandom’s collective grief can feel kind of alienating to new viewers. That’s not intentional on the part of seasoned fans, and it’s not something that anyone should feel responsible for or obligated to change. It’s just difficult because we have only just invested in the show. We may be devastated at the loss of Quentin, many of us for the same reasons longtime viewers are (the loss of queer representation, for instance, or the way it seemed to counteract the positive development of a mentally ill character). But at the same time, a lot of us are more positive overall, even if we think killing off that character was a bad choice. We’re still kind of wrapped up in our enthusiasm, so that our grief just feels like another strong emotion we’re feeling, rather than a betrayal. And it can be awkward because we don’t want to express that too boldly or strongly, because we don’t want to appear to be trivializing the grief of other fans. I think that’s an unfair position that the show, not the fans, puts us in. We’re already new to the community, and now we feel less engaged in what is very much a communal emotional response. Positivity feels like rubbing salt in other fans’ wounds. So we’re not sure where we stand.

I was in shock when the show killed off Quentin. Like most viewers, I couldn’t believe it. I waited for them to find a way to reverse it. It was like a hole forming in my heart when they didn’t. I mentioned on twitter later that night that I cry all the time when I watch TV and movies- literally, if something is in any way beautiful, or sad, or exciting, or happy, I’m getting teary-eyed. But once the credits roll and the story is done, my emotional response is usually finished too. If I’m gonna react to it in any other way, it’ll be intellectual (through meta or fanfic) rather than emotional.

But when this episode ended, I finished my cup of tea, went upstairs, and got in the shower. And all of a sudden, before I even knew it, I was crying. It had been 15 minutes since the episode ended and I was still emotional enough to cry. Since then, because I’m a glutton for emotion who likes to lean into anything that makes me feel strongly, I’ve rewatched the episode once and the “Take On Me” scene like eight times- and every single time I’ve cried, even if it’s just a little. It touches some raw emotional place in me that very few shows get to. And I think I’m in awe of that as much as I’m in pain because of it.

I never quite got to the outrage that other fans did, though. That could be for a number of reasons- less prolonged attachment as a new viewer (although I feel very attached to the show and characters); greater privilege to not feel personally attacked by the loss; just having more emotional energy to engage with the scene. But I felt simultaneously anguished and energized by the episode, including the death. It broke my heart, but it also pulled me in. It’s very confusing. I’m angry at how things increasingly seem to have been mishandled, and I’m disappointed at the fallout this has for the show and the fans, and I’m in disagreement with the validity of the choice. But I still feel engaged and almost excited by it. That’s a hard balance to reconcile.

It really does seem to me like the writers dropped the ball. The fact that they knew they were killing Quentin off bothers me, but actually, the thing that I find most galling is that the other actors weren’t in on the plan. We have it on good authority that they filmed a fake scene, where presumably Q comes back somehow, and all the actors were led to believe that was what was in the episode until two days before the finale, when they were told the truth for the first time. My question is: why? Did they not trust the actors to keep the secret? I can kind of understand faking out the audience, but why play that mind game with your actors, who are part of the creative team and should know what’s going on? Why deprive them of the chance to say goodbye to Jason Ralph as a fellow cast member? So far, in every interview, no one has really explained what the point of that fakeout was. If I was an actor on the show, I’d feel really upset about that.

The other thing that’s really been grinding my gears is something that I saw mentioned in comments before I ever saw it in context in the article (and thank you to everyone who helped me find the source). It’s a quote from John McNamara, one of the showrunners, from an article in the Hollywood Reporter, in which he says this about the decision to kill off Q:

“... in a way, I'm not sure what we would have done with the character had he lived.”

I took issue with that statement for two reasons. The first is from a writing craft perspective. I understand wanting to take risks and shake up expectations, and I understand that “kill someone off” is common writing advice when you get stuck in a project. But it’s my firm belief that the main character (and even on an ensemble show like this, yes, there is a clear lead character) should pretty much always be safe. Because the premise of the show is structured in some essential way around him; that’s why he’s the lead. And that’s why almost every show that gets rid of its main character, either by recasting or just removing and replacing with other characters, goes downhill in quality- because that original character was integral to the story.

I’ve said before that literally the only story I can think of that is better for having killed off its protagonist is friggin’ Julius Caesar. When I teach that play, we discuss at that moment in Act 3- and then again at the end of the play- what it means for the narrative if your title character dies halfway through his story. What it means that Marc Antony is the lead for the rest of the play. How Caesar is still so central to the plot even though he’s dead. Part of the reason this doesn’t work on TV- the reason the plot can’t still centralize the character they killed in the narrative- is because a play is a single self-contained entity that you consume all at once, and a TV series is, well, serialized. The show can’t keep centering a character who’s no longer present, because it wouldn’t resonate in a long-form narrative that you consume in small installments. That’s why shows that kill off characters don’t keep bringing them up. They throw in a couple of heartfelt moments that directly or indirectly reference the character, and then they move on and you’re supposed to let them go. A protagonist has to live to keep being important to the story.

So I am of the firm belief that if your main character has outlived his usefulness, the problem is with your narrative as a whole, not with that particular character. If you can’t think of anywhere meaningful for that character to go, you don’t need to kill him off- you need to restructure your whole story so that it’s responsive to him again. It doesn’t have to revolve around him all the time- the show has frequently centered around other characters prominently and effectively, and Q doesn’t have to be in the spotlight all the time- but if he’s no longer relevant? Your whole story has a problem.

But the second thing that aggravates me about that comment is this: not only do I think Q should not ever become decentralized and disconnected from his show’s narrative, I don’t think he has. The events of this season provided so much room to develop that character. He learned his discipline (minor mendings), which has tremendous practical usefulness as well as symbolic significance. “Escape From the Happy Place” reopened a potential relationship that contains a whole wellspring of emotional resonance as well as complication. His father died- you can do a lot with the grief related to that. His reconnection with Alice felt hollow to me, but even that could be useful narratively (especially if she goes on to lead the Library, which could create a layer of separation and potential for either teamwork or conflict of interest that could sustain several intriguing narratives). Even his tendency toward suicidal self-sacrifice could have been brought up; the conversation he had with Penny about whether he was trying to be a hero or just finally finding a way to kill himself could be had after a failed self-sacrifice attempt just as meaningfully as a successful one.

Quentin has been filled with potential this entire season in the storyline. All of this plus his emotional reckoning with Fillory in the scene where he brings the garden back to life... it seemed like the writers spent the whole season re-establishing all the potential Q had. It didn’t read like a season in which the writers didn’t know what to do with him any more. So the decision to kill him off does seem purely like an effort to challenge themselves as writers and wrong-foot the fans. Which I don’t think is enough of a reason to do it.

Because here’s the thing: I’m a writer too, and I understand that the dichotomy of pursuing your own writing vision and capitulating to the fans’ wants and needs is a delicate one. Writers hate being told what to write, and with social media and fan conventions and other very close forms of engagement, fans have more ways to make their desires known than perhaps ever before. They have every right to make the choice that supports their creative vision, and to do things that force them to stretch their limits as creators. But this feels like it went wildly off its mark. It feels less like an experiment and more like a careless move, and I think they could have approached it a lot better.

I wouldn’t rule out seeing Q again on the show one day. I think if they’re willing to fake us all out once, they’d do it again. I’m comforted by the fact that they appear to have consulted the author early in the process and gotten his blessing, although his comments since then seem to walk back his involvement or contradict what the showrunners have said. (Whether that’s because they’ve overstated his involvement or enthusiasm, or whether he was involved in the decision and is now trying to distance himself from the fallout, it’s impossible to say.)

What is less heartening for me is that some of these writers/creators come from Supernatural, a show that has gone on for far too long and has been retreading tired old ground for years. I only watched to about season 8, but it just feels like an endless cycle of similar plot arcs and killing off and resurrecting the same characters over and over again. The Magicians, admittedly, feels a lot more well-crafted, so I don’t think they’d get as lazy as SPN seems to be- but it’s still a worry, all the same.

(Side note: I am often adamant that unless it’s a legacy franchise like Doctor Who, most shows should intentionally be constructed to be a maximum of 5-7 seasons. I think a lot of broadcast shows are less high-quality because they are just vague pitches that get riffed into a show; the writers and creators don’t come into it with an endpoint in mind, so the show goes on as long as they can add any material at all to it or until they get cancelled, whichever comes first. That means that the plot feels aimless and unstructured. The difference between “prestige TV” and “regular TV” is not just better writing and acting overall- it’s that those shows tend to have a very defined arc, and they know where they’re going, so everything is in service of a common idea. Not just a vague and easily sellable premise that can have a ton of stuff derived from it with little effort. I think The Magicians sits above most broadcast shows in quality, but this is where it is starting to show its weak points. And that’s why I think the creators need to be very deliberate about making sure everything going forward contributes to a very defined arc.)

So that’s where I am right now. Emotionally a wreck; disappointed in the process of this choice and feeling the grief other fans feel; strangely invigorated at the same time? Unsure where to go from here, really. Still committed to watching the show as much as I ever have been, but wary at the same time. It’s complicated. But I’m ready to embrace the complexity of it.

[treehouseart]

Why Reblogging Is So Important to Artists | Why Being Nice Online is Important | Storytime

First of all, I wasn’t going to talk about this. Because I thought it wasn’t needed, because I thought there was enough information out there asking people NOT TO REPOST ART and if we do, at least give PROPER CREDIT.

But there isn’t. That’s alright. Let’s talk about it.

 Two days ago I was approached by the lovely @vaugleysassygrunt​ who told me someone was reposting my art. They said this person had been changing their url all day (and they’re still doing it) and sent me a hyperlink to the art they had posted. It was one of the comics from my on-going Sanders Sons series, a sequential comic I have been working on for almost a year. It was pretty dear to my heart (and the context was pretty important as well). 

My immediate thought was “Oooh boy, my first art thief, that’s so exciting”. All the big ones get those. Along I went to this person’s tumblr and was about to send them a message when I saw they had already addressed the issue by saying they found reblogging annoying and that’s why they preferred reposting. That they never claimed the art was theirs.

Of course my first thought was “if you don’t like reblogging what are you doing on tumblr?”. But we shouldn’t give in to our first thoughts. They’re often rash.

So I get into a conversation with said art thief and try another way. Because THERE IS another way. We can’t nunchuk our way to awareness. This is what I wrote:

Hi, friendo! I'm sorry people are giving you a hard time, but crediting art is very important for us artists :( It's how we make our carreers. I understand you don't enjoy reblogging, but it can help people find our art and find more of our work if they need to. I also am really embarrassed to have to ask, but could you please credit sandersssons-comic or sanderssons in the quadruplets AU? It's a series I spent a lot of time on and I would hate it if people only read a part of it. Thanks and have a good day :D

They repond right away. Telling me they accept my apology (?)

Also that they found the image on google images.

Also asking how much artists get.

FIRST LESSON TO TAKE FROM THIS: Google Images, such as Google itself, it’s an image SEARCHER. It COMPILES images from the whole internet. An image being on Google Images DOES NOT MEAN IT’S UP FOR GRABS. Google Images provides the proper source of the picture.

BESIDES, Google Images can be a great tool for finding the author of an artpiece. Just go to Google Reverse Image Search. You can do it from your phone and from your desktop. Just put the image on and Google finds the original source for you!

So I proceed to explain to this person that artists don’t make much. Most of us get money from comissions that depend on the complexity. Some get Ko-Fis and Patreons and online shops with stickers and key chains and some other goodies.

ALTHOUGH, FOR YOU I ALSO SAY: PEOPLE ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR ART EVEN IF THEY DON’T GET MONEY FOR IT. BECAUSE IT’S THEIR OWN AND THEY MADE IT. DON’T BE A DICK.

They say: 

I don’t mean to be rude but you could just get more money by being an art teacher or something that pays good minimum wage. 

And you can imagine this big red flag raising in my head. Disengage. Disengage. Disengage. But this was a HUMAN BEING. And a misinformed one. I had already made contact. Might as well. I explained that we DO NOT WANT other jobs. This is our jobs. This is our choice of carreer. And it’s not hard to respect.

Reminder, that should go without saying: YOU DO NOT HAVE A SAY ON PEOPLE’S LIFE CHOICES

Our friend says they don’t understand cause they’re in high school and they don’t draw a lot (as if art knowledge just comes by osmosis when you draw a lot)

I said it was totally cool not to understand. Because it is

SECOND LESSON: SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THINGS. I came back to tumblr for the Thomas Sanders fandom. A fandom that thrives on kindness and caring and validation of different people  

They thanked me for being cool and explaining things and asked if we could be friends. I said that absolutely

(After our little talk, they started giving credit to the pictures they could find. Read as: the ones that had signatures on the image)

We talked yesterday a whole part of the day. We get acquainted. They’re finding themselves as non-binary, they’re in high school. Things like that. I tell them I’m 20 and in college for journalism

In this proccess I explained how comissions worked and, again, why reblogging and not reposting was important

So yesterday night I’m already in bed when they message me “Hi”

I responded I was tired and going to sleep. They said they were going to bed too. And that they hated when they were accused of something they didn’t do. Which was stealing art

And I said that, indeed, they weren’t STEALING art per say. But reposting was a dick move. They got PISSED. So I tried to find an analogy they would understand.

Ok, think of it like this

You've painted a tradicional piece in oil and put it in your gallery with other paintings

Someone can't come and take the painting off the wall and put it on their gallery

Even if they say it's yours... It doesn't bring more people to your gallery. It exposes your work... But that's mostly it. 

To which they replied:

The Mona Lisa got stolen once and people have made counterfeit paintings in the past 

Which, goes without saying DOESN’T MAKE IT OKAY. Just because someone already murdered another, it doesn’t mean we can go around on a killing spree.

Besides, tumblr has original content and tools to get replicated inside the website. And so I told them.

And then again:

Why are the majority of people here artists who clearly don’t realize they can get a part time job? 

And I told them, AGAIN, they do not want part time jobs. They want these jobs.

They said I lied then, when I said art didn’t pay well. And proceeded to say they didn’t understand why people want to be starving artists.

Also that tumblr didn’t have the kind of images they wanted. EVEN THOUGH THIS WHOLE THING WAS HAPPENING BECAUSE ARTISTS FROM TUMBLR WERE FINDING THEIR ARTWORKS REPOSTED ON THEIR ACCOUNT.

I was also making them upset.

I tried to explain further, but they blocked me.

Fortunately, I was able to send one last message and I think it’s the biggest message I want to pass here.

I'm sorry I'm upsetting you but I've been nothing but respectful

Be respectful. Even when you’re mad. Even when people are rude. Kill them with kindness. If they’re too immature to listen to you, that’s on them. Practice what our dear youtubers preach (Thomas Sanders, Jack, Mark). 

This person is still reposting, yes. They’re giving credit, but still reposting. It’s a start, I believe. It’s more than I would have gotten sending a hate ask. 

So now, princes, princesses and non-binary royalty, I give you the

TL;DR

Artists are ENTITLED TO THEIR ART. You. Are. Not. It doesn’t matter if it’s on tumblr, on google images or on the street. If there’s a signature or not. Getting money for it or not (also, since I’m here, don’t forget that art is not only visual arts, but also videos, music, podcasts and a bagillion other things. If it’s not yours, don’t post it)

You DO NOT get a say on how people should get their wage (just like you don’t get a say on how they dress, on where they go, or who they love)

When you REBLOG, you help the artist to get known. It costs nothing. When you REPOST, you’re a dick. You’re not helping anyone and you’re giving yourself more trouble than just clicking a simple button

It’s okay not to know everything, but listen when people talk respectfully

Don’t be hard on people when you can be nice. Aggravating people will only make enemies of people who can be friends

Be mature enough to accept sometimes you’re wrong

BONUS ROUND: I believed we were done, but I saw this post short after. I didn’t think it was relevant to include, but I feel like I must say something.

I’ve had it with everyone being nothing but mean and antagonizing me. I’m not the bad guy and I really want to kill myself or leave tumblr. I’m never accepted by anyone or anywhere. Hell its hard to tell my friends I’m into men and women or that I like certain things. I get rejected constantly so goodbye forever 

And later proceeded to post normally.

Please notice that your life BEING HARD does not make up for BEING A DICK and REFUSING TO BE EDUCATED. I will not refrain from telling you the truth R E S P E C T F U L L Y to protect your feelings just because you’re LGBTQ+ (specially because the you being B part was totally new information for me in this post/and I’m in the community too).

So since I’m giving moral lessons, do this for your friends. We should not stand for something we do not agree. Real friends will respect your side and reconsider. If a person hostilizes you for having a different opinion - or, in this case, being right - they’re not someone you want to have around.

PS.: I will not disclose this person’s identity because it’s irrelevant. I’m only posting this in hopes it can help someone else

PPS.: I ended up did reporting this person for giving my comic specifically the wrong credit

[brightwaterforarainyday]

@grotesque-rotten-puppet   (I hope you don’t mind me tagging you in these)

Answers to some very important questions pt. 2: Mazrah Sulein:

On a scale of “is occasionally forced to bathe” to “Instagram model with sponsors to hoe for” how involved is your OC’s Skincare routine?

Mazrah’s high charisma and familiarity with corporate and corporate security culture mean she’s almost always the one in charge of impersonating security guards/negotiating with the Johnson for higher pay/just about any interaction that doesn’t involve shooting things, so she has to be at least a bit more aware of her appearance than other members of her team. On the other hand, anything too flashy is going to make her stand out more than she would like to, so she usually just sticks to a middle ground of respectable but plain, unless a particular run requires a certain “look”. Also like, she has better things to spend time and money on. Like guns. And cool jackets.

What are your OC’s food preferences (flavors/textures/spiciness/calories/ when and how they eat) and how did they get that way?

Any kind of food that could be described as “hearty”: potatoes, soup, sausage, many pastas, that kind of stuff. It’s like a hug that you eat! Food and eating also have a lot of social connotations for Maz, which plays into her preferences quite a bit. Meals are one of the few times she gets to spend time with her team mates outside of “work”, and the trust inherent in the act of sharing food makes it a good way for the team to bond and grow closer. I feel like that might be a thing in the larger Shadowrunner community as well, as a profession where suspicion and paranoia are survival mechanisms and the price of misplaced trust is so, so high, sharing a genuine sit-down meal with others is a Big Deal.

She’s also a fan of street food for similar reasons, it’s like the Shadowrunner equivalent of having someone prepare a meal for you, with all (or, well, some of) the connotations of care and hospitality that comes with that.

What’s something pointless/petty/unimportant that IRRATIONALLY ANNOYS THE HELL out of your OC?

No one ever returns spoons to the safehouse kitchen and they’ve spent entirely too much money on replacing them already.

What’s your OC’s response to being asked for money by a homeless person?

She runs a quick risk/reward calculation that goes something like this:

Pros:

Homeless people see a lot of shit and can be a great source of information. Getting friendly with them has some strategic advantages.

Maz spent some time on the streets herself before she found a Runner squad who would take her, so she knows it’s rough.

Fellow lowlifes gotta stick together if they wanna stick it to The Man. Or, you know, survive.

Cons:

Money is always tight and earning more usually involves getting shot at.

She almost always decides to give them something, maybe ask their name too, get to know them a bit. Networking is an important part of any job, Shadowrunning included.

Does your OC get lost easily? What do they do when they do get lost?

On one hand, she has virtually constant access to the power of Future!Google Maps. On the other, sometimes Future!Google Maps is unavailable or unreliable. If she ever does find herself lost, she’ll look for: A) some kind of prominent landmark she can orient herself relative to, B) a public transit station or hub that will likely have a map, or C) someone who looks like they could give her directions.

What would STOP your OC from Doing The Right Thing in a tense situation?

“Messing with these people who hate my guts/view me as a disposable asset/are actively trying to kill me would be hilarious right now.” 

That or just plain old spite.

Realistically, could your OC (in their normal circumstances- i.e. at their own house/battlecamp/spaceship etc.) keep a small child alive for a week if they had to?  A Dog?  A Houseplant? A rock with a  smiley face painted on?

I mean, the secret hideout of a bunch of professional criminals probably isn’t the best place for a kid to hang out, but safehouses are, by definition, safe (supposedly).  Also, she has a lot of experience keeping her idiot boyfriends alive in similar circumstances, and a kid can’t be that much harder.

If your OC had to take the S.A.T. tomorrow with one night to prep, how would they do?  both emotionally and academically.

Maz has taken her fair share of standardized tests courtesy of the Ares Macrotechnology owned and run primary school she went to, so she would be familiar with the concept, at least. That was a long time ago however, and she hasn’t had any formal education since she started running the shadows as a rebellious teenager (or the Orc equivalent of a teenager anyway). The difference in the speed at which Orc and Human children mature probably makes school complicated too, come to think of it.

Tests like the S.A.T are also a pretty major aspect of the kind of life and culture she was specifically running away from when she decided to become a Shadowrunner, so I imagine the amount of anger and resentment she would feel along with the stress would be significant.

So, academically: probably not great. Emotionally: also probably not great.

What would cause your OC to chose to do something petty/pointlessly cruel?

Mazrah has a lot of very deep-seated anger and resentment towards people in positions of power and authority, especially if that power comes with the kind of wealth that being on the board of directors of a company or megacorp provides. (She owns more than one “Eat the Rich” t shirt, incidentally) Given the opportunity, she would find the sight of one of those people in pain to be extremely satisfying.

But.

Although she’d be slow to admit it, the quasi-military upbringing she had under Ares left her with an above-average sense of things like duty, and honor, and justice, and all those other things organizations of that kind claim to uphold. Some of that manifests in the code of honor she -- and most other street samurai --follow. This code is the primary thing -- besides all the chrome -- that sets a street sam apart from you’re run-of-the-mill tough guy with a gun, and she takes it very seriously. More importantly, it specifically forbids her from taking lethal action against, or allowing someone else to take lethal  action against anyone who is unarmed, unaware of her, or otherwise defenseless. It’s a bit fuzzier on the subject of just like, regular old pain and fear however, though I imagine those are also discouraged.

So... which one of those two opposing forces wins out in the end isn’t going to be simple, or certain, and would be extremely dependent on the context of the specific situation in question.

On a scale of “Complete and Justified nervous breakdown” to “Conquer The Entire Galaxy and become an Immortal God-Emperor”, how well would your OC handle being abducted by Aliens?

You know, aliens aren’t that much of a stretch from orcs and dragons and magic an all the other bizarre things that happen every day in the Sixth World. So I think her reaction would be something along the lines of “Ok I guess we’re doing this now, sure. Life is weird enough already this might as well happen. I would very much like to go home now, though.”

But also, can you imagine how much literally any intel or object from that encounter would sell for?

What song is 100% guaranteed to get your OC beyond turnt and will be sung loudly and embarrassingly, either in public or the shower?

“I Knew Prufrock Before He Got Famous”, “Out of Breath”, and “Love Ire & Song” by Frank Turner all fall under this category.

She aslo definitely sings along to any MESSERKAMF! songs that happen to come on as loud as possible and with just the most enthusiasm, just to annoy/embarrass Dietrich.

What perfectly-normal-to-them-thing does your OC do that confuses/pisses off/terrifies their neighbors?

She possesses both a very unpredictable schedule and an electric guitar she spends a considerable amount of time practicing, possibly the most aggravating combination of traits a neighbor and/or housemate can have.

Under what circumstances would your OC appear naked in public?

 Mazrah has been known to, as they say, “party hard”, on occasion.

How strong or weak is your OC’s Impulse control? What’s the worst thing that happened because of their Impulsivity or inability to be so?

It’s gotten better since she’s started finding herself in more and more leadership positions in the teams she runs with and the extra responsibility that comes with that, but she’s still a pretty big adrenaline junkie. There are probably a few Lone Star security squads that could have gone unprovoked or avoided entirely with someone a bit less impulsive at the helm. She’s done some pretty buckwild parkour stunts too, but so far all of them have ended well.

EDIT: I'm a god damn idiot for forgetting my own character's backstory: Hands down the single most impulsive thing Mazrah has done is running away from home to become a Shadowrunner as an idiot teenager.

How does your OC sabotage themselves?

The tension between the desire for and benefits of close relationships between people like team mates, neighbors, that one street doc who always patches them up after a run, and the inherently mercenary and transitory nature of those relationships, and the risks they bring, is a confusing, ever-shifting balance, and Mazrah is usually overcompensating in one direction or the other at any given time. Either closing herself off to any kind of really meaningful connection or becoming too involved with and concerned about the people around her and getting hurt as a result.

What’s your OC smell like?  no, not that “Vanilla and Anxiety” evocative stuff, realistically.  Body odor? what have they been touching all day? When was thier last shower? Did they put on any kind of artificial scent?

Leather conditioner and gun oil, generally. If she’s not out on a run or partying she’s at the safehouse taking care of her gear. She buys soap and hair stuff that smells like sandalwood whenever the option is available, so she’s got that nice like, warm, almost-cinnamon-but-different smell underneath all that too.

[belades]

I will actually just note, while I mostly agree here, especially with the first and second post in this reblog chain, more words isn't always better. In fact, while I feel like I need to use a lot of words to describe why, I genuinely won't be surprised if some people end up a bit confused by what I'm saying here.

I've found I end up in conversational/explanation deadlocks and misunderstandings more often the more words I use to describe what I mean, resulting in both parties repeating the same point over and over when they're not even talking about the same thing, or with both thinking each has a completely different stance than they really do. Both keep repeating the same thing because they don't feel like they can get any clearer, but both focus on the wrong part of the other's response due to thinking it's the relevant portion and what someone's trying to communicate when it's really not.

When I'm talking, sometimes the core point gets lost in the words, and notably people might sometimes misinterpret my talking about something as my caring more about the aspect that I'm spending the most time explaining.

However, sometimes I'm explaining that aspect because it's a technicality that I actually don't care that much about, but feel needs to be explained regardless. That sometimes leads to people thinking that said technicality is the "point". Sometimes I get so caught up in explaining my reasoning on technicalities or mitigating/aggravating factors that people will even think I'm taking the stance opposite the one I really am, or are trying to defend people who frankly shouldn't be defended.

I think part of it is that when there's enough text, people tend to remember what you talked about the most the best, and think that that's what you're trying to communicate, whereas when you have autism, it might be.... Well, frankly a variety of things that you don't actually put much weight on besides sometimes thinking aloud.

I've also found that more words gives more chances to misspeak due to stress and for some reason a lot of people seem to zero in on those misspoken ones as opposed to the whole message. Sometimes either starting small and then expanding when asked, or putting a TLDR at the end to summarize can help people parse your intended focus from your explanation. Stuff like this makes me wish more services were formatted to use footnotes or such. That way I could give all the information I feel like I "need to" in a manner where people could still identify what my "main point" or intended focus are supposed to be.

TLDR

Sometimes giving a lot of detail can be helpful, but other times it can make misunderstandings worse/make it harder to communicate, as paradoxical as it sounds. -

Because of this, it's sometimes best to summarize core points THEN go into detail when asked/after some sort of conversational/post break that will keep those core/important points in the person's head without making them think the aspect that needs the additional context/explanation is the "most important" -

I agree quite a bit with the first and second posts in this reblog chain, it's really frustrating when that kind of thing occurs.

One cliche I hate (in real life, too) is any variation on the idea that someone's explanation of something is suspiciously convenient. I've literally been accused of lying because what I was saying "sounds rehearsed" (?!?!) or "came too easy" and you see the same concept in serious media stories, political debates, police investigations, everywhere. How the hell can it actually mean anything? If something is true it is fundamentally going to come just as easily. Same with the dipshits who call other people "npc's" because their arguments "all sound alike"....of course they fucking do, there can only be one set of correct facts.

[londekantombela]

OVERALL REFLECTION

Coming into a community like this one with hopes to emerge is a different set of goal, even though it is one that I am highly familiar with, it has been a very different experience having to come in with my knowledge and use it as a tool to provide the most extensive intervention to the people in the community. This blog will provide insight into how everything in the past few weeks unfolded and the ways in which it unfolded. It will be about the closure, handover with the lessons learnt and how this will now impact my therapeutic mind going into community service in the following year. The reflections that will be provide will be both professional and personal. It will also be inclusive of the many feelings that I have felt whilst doing this community block, both negative and positive feelings.

The past few weeks of being in Inanda have been quite challenging as I had to “forget” the fact that I am a child of the community, put my big boots on and become a healthcare worker who was expected to be providing treatment. The reason why I say it was challenging is because it is a whole different experience. I grew up in a similar environment where the child was told everything and they couldn’t tell their elders anything, now everything had shifted, and I am the one who been given the responsibility to take care of their lives. Helping the community when they least expect it made me realize that we will forever be embedded in our communities, whether the one you grew up in or not. In Isizulu there is a saying “Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu” and it’s basically mentioning that ‘’I am because we are” and that is exactly the gist of the community, coming together and forming a very strong front that will be beneficial to all persons. It was also challenging because now the people that we were seeing in the community had put a lot of trust in us to help them with their issues and we simply cannot say no we do not know or we will be unable to, why? Because there is an understanding that the person seeking help would not have come to you if they did not need the services that you are providing them with. However, this pushes out of our comfort zones and that is how we grow, that is how the contextual therapists are made, ones that will be able to provide you with the utmost holistic client centered intervention.

Integrating Community based Rehabilitation which is a strategy to improve access to rehabilitation services to disabled people in developing countries, has been a great tool in firstly helping the people that are of need and also a great tool to actually take the rehab into the community because many people especially in a community like this one do not know that they need therapy until they are being screened, assessed and treated that they were needing the help. Taking intervention to the community has benefitted both the people that were being provided services and the Student Therapist in growing in the filed of Occupational Therapy, this will be a great program to take into community service as the assessment of the holistic nature will be highly therapeutic for the client. In essence we grow up to help the people that raised us, the people that were willing to do anything to make us have a better life than what they were living, therefore giving back is the only option left for us to do, doing everything we can in our will to make sure the livelihoods of the individuals who were doing it all for us achieve longevity. Working in the community is very heartwarming as the people from this particular community are very grateful, they make you feel part of the community in many ways and remain friendly even if you have not provided them with therapy. The spirit of integration, if done appropriately reaps better results, by appropriately I am meaning that in a way that they do not feel overwhelmed and invaded in their own community. This would mean that as the health professional one is able to be culturally sensitive so knowing what is it that is of importance to the client.

There has been a rollercoaster of emotions regarding my engagement in this community block as I found it difficult to integrate my intervention into the community, at first it was merely that because I have not been in this context before of providing this treatment. The second wave of the rollercoaster was accepting the criticism that I have been continuously receiving. At times the criticism to me was the complete opposite to constructivism, I would end the day more confused then with solutions, which forced me to then go back to the drawing board which again I wouldn’t know where to start. Until now there are grey areas due to the level of criticism, I know what is expected of me, but the execution is a higher grade that I am failing to grasp.

I have learnt many lessons during this block, I have learnt to have thick skin otherwise my mental health will deteriorate because there are many encounters that have almost made me breakdown as I would feel like that, I do not know anything at all, whereas I do know, working under pressure is what made me close to breaking down. I have also learnt the art of not assuming, assumptions will not only make a fool of you, they will also highly aggravate the client that you are working with, showing respect could also come in the form of asking questions so that the client will be aware that you do care about them outside of their diagnosis, and that is one of the key elements of community, to notify the clients that you will look after them, even out of their diagnosis, you will be humane in your method of treatment. In conclusion, it has a been a very insightful 4 weeks, I’ve learnt how the real therapeutic would be like as were we dealing with and having to know your positionality allows you to intervene without being biased nor to be shaken by other people’s opposing views. Thank You!

REFERENCES

The question: What does ubuntu really mean? (n.d.). Retrieved April 16, 2021, from https://www.google.co.za/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/theguardian/2006/sep/29/features11.g2

 Suharto, S. (2014). Community-Based rehabilitation: Evolution From Medical-Oriented approach to the dream of inclusive development. INKLUSI, 1(1), 39. doi:10.14421/ijds.010103

[rengadyke]

Adam shows the ugly side of queerness, the people who get abused and don’t get support for their trauma and thus lash out and hurt others. Queer people who have the luxury of not seeing themselves in Adam dismiss him as irredeemable and either demonize him or straight-up pretend he doesn’t exist (I’ve seen him edited out of official art multiple times). He represents an aspect of queerness that people don’t want to see because we feel like it reflects badly on the whole community. Or his behavior reminds people of their own trauma. People have valid reasons for hating Adam, but if we acknowledge that we also have to acknowledge the valid reasons people have for loving him.

I’ve said this in a post before, but the point of Tadashi’s devotion to Adam (and Langa’s kindness towards Adam during their final race) is to show that people who have done bad things are still worthy of love and kindness. Not necessarily from the people they’ve hurt—Cherry demonstrates this when he loses all sympathy for Adam after Adam sends him to the hospital—but maybe from the people who have been down in the trenches with them, who understand where they’re coming from and can help them claw their way out.

Tadashi and Adam are still villains at the end; Adam is still terrorizing the protagonists and manipulating the justice system to serve his own needs, and Tadashi is enabling him. But they’re happy together. And you know what? I’m glad they’re happy. The fact that Utsumi wanted them and the viewers they represent to be happy is more important than the fact that some people don’t like them.

And as far as the accusations of pedophilia go, yes Adam does sexually harass teenagers and that’s not okay (hence him being a villain). I’ve seen takes on this ranging from “his behavior must mean he wants to rape these children there is no other explanation” to “actually he’s not attracted to minors, it’s all just part of his performance.” To me personally, it doesn’t matter what his motivations are because the effect is the same: the teenagers get sexually harassed by a grown man.

But if you’re only looking at Adam’s actions in the show and not the context of the genre he’s in, you’ll miss something: the pedophilic gay villain is a trope in shonen anime (Hunter x Hunter, Black Butler, and Banana Fish immediately come to mind). Utsumi is actually subverting this trope by giving Adam a sympathetic backstory and an age-appropriate love interest. Unlike other shonen anime villains, Adam is not defined solely by his violence against the protagonists. He has his own story, and fans who have trauma similar to his are encouraged to identify with him. Adam’s character is a subversion of a homophobic trope, as well as a message to everyone who feels like they have to hide and lash out because they’re different that they are still worthy of love.

Again, people are allowed to hate Adam if they want to. But people are also allowed to love him, and that doesn’t mean they’re about to go harass children or commit aggravated assault with a skateboard. So let’s all just chill out a little.

we do know that Ainosuke’s a villain

the majority of Adam lovers do know that he’s a villain, but the Western fandom’s hatred for him is too much. like why do you put so much effort hating him? go do something healthy. 

i don’t know much about other Adam fans, but i love him because 

he’s queer, duh. but like in a different way from the rest of the group

his trauma is similar to many of us growing in a queerphobic &/or  broken home.

how he deals with various trauma resonates with me as a multi-traumatize person

his coping mechanism, Adam, resonates with me as a marginalized person.

no seriously. masking is survival for marginalized people. if we show ourselves as we r we’re either discriminated, face trauma, and/or killed

[happymetalgirl]

Bring Me the Horizon - amo

For better and for worse, this one has been a long time coming. If Sempiternal was the irritated throat fans brushed off as nothing, then That's the Spirit was their first terrifying handful of blood coughed up after ignoring diagnostics, and amo is the progression of the untreated pop infection in Bring Me the Horizon's lungs that has progressed beyond treatment. For fans uneasy about the band's trajectory in 2015, this album is no easy pill to swallow.

I've been rather critical of a lot of bands aping Bring Me the Horizon's more try-hard anthemic metalcore style since the success of 2013's Sempiternal, but for Bring Me the Horizon themselves, I've actually had at least a little bit of appreciation for the boldness and ambition with which they have seemed to try to push their brand of metalcore since their 2010 album There Is a Hell, Believe Me I've Seen It. There Is a Heaven, Let's Keep It a Secret. But with that appreciation of what they are trying to do to bolster their sound has also come with a lot of frustration when it comes to the execution, whether it be the repetitive formula on Sempiternal yielding some seriously irritating tunes whose energy only magnified their obnoxiousness, or the horrendous watering down that neutered any idea of ambition on That's the Spirit.

It has been about four years since the band's aggravating previous album, and for myself, the metal community outside the band's fanbase, and even within, those four years have been spent nervously gritting teeth in anticipation of what the band would progress toward next. And now it's here. Given the sour turn the band took with That's the Spirit, my hopes for amo were not high at all. In fact after a series of lackluster maimstream-ish releases so far this year, I was ready for the cherry to top the shit sundae with this album. That being said, amo is definitely bolder and a much more thoughtful continuation of Bring Me the Horizon's quest for pop glory, and one that is at least more determined and more comprehensive than That's the Spirit. The band finally commit to the sound they clearly wanted to make their way to, and in some ways it's good that they're not trying to cover their bases as thinly as possible like they were with their previous album. Indeed, there are a few tracks on here I enjoy quite a lot.

The band fully commit to the sounds and writing styles of Top 40 pop these days, and this album would definitely blend right in with the likes of Ed Sheeran and Shawn Mendes. I feel like I have to address my distaste for Top 40 music in general and clarify that it's not based in a simplistic, tribalistic feud I see lots of metalheads take part in, where it's the principle of pop vs. rock or mainstream music vs. outsider music that's being fought over. No, I definitely enjoy me some thoughtfully done pop music and even some indulgently tasty pop as well. What I don't like is the sterility of the music from the likes of Halsey, Macklemore, Camila Cabello, or whoever made that shit song "The Middle" selected to be the goal for pop artists to strive for to reach radio/playlist success. And then there's the despised Imagine Dragons, the only pop rock band in existence apparently, based on how much time they suck up on the radio. I know this is a sidetrack and I know that radio is not the prime outlet it used to be, but it still represents a lot of what pop trends towards these days, and it continues to set a precedent for vapid, lazy songwriting, and corporately calculated pandering. That being said, there's the occasional song I'm surprised, not so much by my enjoyment of, but of the presence of something enjoyable coming from a mainstream pop outlet, and that's what amo seems to be going for.

I gave this album quite a few listens, both to really get to know it as per usual, and because this kind of pop isn't my usual forte, and it was interesting to see how the album transformed in my eyes with each successive listen. My first time hearing it, I knew I was going into a straight-up pop album, and with the ilk of Top 40 stations as my barometer, I was actually pretty relieved and pleasantly surprised to not be slamming my head against the nearest wall for the 51 minutes it lasts. But then I remembered, "wait a minute, this is a pop album, it loves to ride a good first impression, see how it is after 4, 5, 6 listens." And sure enough, it waned on me the more I listened.

The parts that I really enjoy did rise to the top as the rest sank, but with a better understanding of this album's content and what it's trying to achieve, I end up with a lot of the same frustrations I had with the band on Sempiternal and its predecessor, just in a less heavy format/context this time. Like the band's first metalcore-departing albums, amo has some good stylistic ideas and it works well with them, but the band's inconsistent results with the repetitive formulas they emply continues to be the limiting factor for them. On the vocal front, Oli Sykes clearly channels Minutes to Midnight-era Chester Bennington all over the project, from the raspy borderline shouted melodies and overwhelmingly polished cleans, while also making a very pop-influenced use of his falsettos as well, and as much as it often teems over with blatant imitation, at least I can't complain about his execution; he's on point pretty much the entire time, which could be thanks to some production crutches, but Sykes' performances sound watertight nonetheless. The rest of the band are much more present than I thought they would be, not as drowned out in gaudy pop production (which does still become a bit too much at some points, but for the most part it's pretty tasteful and balanced throughout the album).

Songs like "nihilist blues" do well to set futuristically melancholic moods through modern electro pop instrumentals, while on songs like "MANTRA" and "sugar honey ice & tea" (a cheesy roundabout way to title the song "shit"), the band try to keep the guitar-driven energy high while blending more pop-oriented elements and performance/production techniques, and the blend is at least a refreshingly alive spin on the egg-shell-treading stlyes of this era of pop music. But the band still don't really manage to make what sounds good on paper actually sound as good as it should through speakers, churning out some annoying melodies through the overly repetitive structures that take bad pop songs from displeasing to disgusting. And these songs have some potential and some parts of them that I wish weren't wrecked by overproduction or cheesy choruses, "sugar honey ice & tea" especially has some invigorating building rock instrumentation in its verses, but the band don't really follow through on the hollow, high-pitched electro vocal-laden chorus. But then there are the songs that (I think) don't really have any redeeming qualities.

The songs where Bring Me the Horizon really just lean all the way into this new role as a prospective pop act are the ones where they of course fall into the styles' predictable pitfalls. Straightforward pop numbers like "mother tongue" and "medicine" channel kiddish lyrics about love and embodying vindictiveness respectively through bland, unimaginative instrumentation. Another track, "in the dark", runs in kind of the same vein of unadultered pop with Oli Sykes doing his best Shawn Mendes impersonation, but is at least a little bit more soulful and less robotic.

Back in the gray area is the song "heavy metal", which takes aim at the attitudes of discontented fans being mad at the band for continuing to shift styles. I understand that there are definitely a lot of stubborn people willing to let that be sufficient justification for their reasons for lampooning the band's change in style, but there are plenty of reasons to be apprehensive about this new direction that lots of other people are articulating that the band could have addressed instead of minimizing the criticism surrounding them to the reductive basement-dweller strawman. Instrumentally though, it is one of the heavier songs on the album, ending with the album's only screamed breakdown, as short as it is.

As far as highlights go, the song "why you gotta kick me when i'm down?" is a convincing electronic banger that finds low-register synths mimicking the crunch of the guitar the band usually uses, and doing so well. Lyrically it oozes of the same kind of inability to accept criticism as "heavy metal", but at least this song's fierce potency makes a good case for the band's being above the type of simplistic criticism they lament. The song "wonderful life" is by far the best song on the album with its gritty electro-nu metal guitar groove and its anthemic vocal melody in the chorus raising a defeatist toast to growing old and burning out. The pop influences are still easily palpable, but taking a support role rather than the lead, with the band driving the song with the down-tuned metal riffage they do well that made Suicide Season and the best parts of Sempiternal.

For what could have been the definitive nail in the coffin for a lot of people like me who hated That's the Spirit, amo is definitely a mixed bag in classic Bring Me the Horizon fashion, but that sure is a lot better than the torturous train wreck I was expecting (especially after hearing "mother tongue" and "medicine" as preliminary singles), and it at least shows that this band does indeed have the potential to do well in this metal-flavored pop niche they're trying to carve out, and by all means I would love for them to do well with it. I think it is important for metal to continue to make good entry-level material for the new generations, and entry-level material that immersed fans can bond with new fans over as well and for younger generations to be able to look back at fondly after diving deep into the wonderful world of metal music. I definitely don't think amo is quite that album, but it is a gateway, and it does suggest that somewhere in Bring Me the Horizon's collective creative potential exists that album, which only tenacity and further perfection of this style they've arrived at can uncover.

better than Halsey/10

[the-end-of-art]

You play the game because you love it

Negativity Is Wrecking Your Game by Brian DeMars

Magic is a difficult and complicated game, but that’s probably not why you started playing. I started back in 1995 with my brother and cousin, and I played because the game was fun. When you get caught up in the grind and in results, it’s easy to forget that you play the game because you love it.

Love requires that you care about someone or something in a way that is beyond your control. You cannot control what others do any more than you can control the draws from the top of a deck of cards. All you can do is your best and if you can honestly say you tried your best, you can come away from anything with your head held high.

There’s no easy recipe to learn how to try your best. Everyone is different. No one is perfect. Your best is personal and about how much you are willing to invest. But I can certainly expound upon one area that is not unique or specific where a lot of people (myself included) could use improvement: Negativity.

Negativity is a coping mechanism. It is a way of framing the world in such a way that your problems are not your fault. Negativity displaces the root of one’s problems so that they are someone or something else’s fault. In Magic, the displacement of blame is really, really easy:

I mulliganed. I had bad draws. I was unlucky. Variance.

Losing, especially when you put in a lot of effort, is frustrating.

From the perspective of an individual who has competed for well over a decade, I can relate to the frustration. I can see a lot of my own past behaviors and attitudes reflected in the sentiments of other players. I understand and comprehend negativity and frustration at a high level because I’ve lived it in a profound and real way.

Negativity will never help you achieve your hopes and dreams. Negativity will never add anything useful to your journey. Negativity will never make you feel better.

I’m not talking about bottling up your feelings until they boil over. If a person is down in the dumps or struggling they should absolutely confide in a trusted friend or family member. Be real. Have a real conversation. Get it off your chest and gain a little perspective. It’ll help.

The kind of negativity that shouldn’t be shared is the kind that spreads. I’m having a bad day, and now you are about to be having a bad day too. I feel bad and now you should feel bad too. If I can’t be happy, then no one should be.

In tournament Magic, the frustration floating around in the room is palpable. Half of the people in the room lost their last round and are not all feeling wonderful.

We’ve all heard the bad beat story: My opponent was terrible and played terrible…

We’ve all seen the comments in the Twitch chats: That player is terrible and played terrible…

I’m great at Magic and lost. Others are worse and won. There’s no justice in the universe.

Such behavior is just an adult version of bullying. An individual feels bad or inadequate and acts out by picking on somebody else. The aggressor gets attention, which makes them feel important by putting someone else down. We call these people “trolls,” which is just a codeword for “online bully.”

I used to think the negative attitude and heinous comments were a symptom of Magic being a frustrating game at times. But I’ve come around to understand that the attitudes I observe are a symptom of life in general.

I’ve started listening to a lot of sports talk radio in the past year. I like following my local teams and players. The more I listen, the more I am able to notice parallel behaviors in people talking about sports and people talking about Magic: That player is a bum. That coach is a moron. That GM should be fired.

I don’t think the behavior I’m critiquing is unique to Magic. It has always existed in culture and is an easy port into gaming. After all, gaming and sports are not so dissimilar. Sports are games.

On the one hand, Sports and Magic are entertainment for a lot of people. A person who is at home watching a ballgame is not that different than a person watching Grand Prix coverage.

On the other hand, there is a big difference between a professional athlete and a random person playing in a feature match. It is true that there are professional Magic players, but the pros are typically not the individuals draw the most unfriendly fire. The people who endure the brunt of the hate are the novice players and they receive the negative comments when they make mistakes on camera.

It would be as if the Detroit Tigers brought in a random person from the stands to close a game and fans were angry because he or she wasn’t as good as Mariano Rivera. Expectations. I understand that when people tune in to watch a game, sports or Magic, they want to see competitive play and be entertained. Still, it’s important to have perspective.

One of the phrases that turns my stomach whenever it is uttered is when a sports radio caller says: The player makes millions of dollars and therefore something, something, something… I’m not talking about an argument where somebody says: Player 1 makes X amount of dollars and has X stats. Player 2 makes X amount of dollars and has Y stats. Player 2 is a better value under the salary cap. I’m talking about when people use the fact that somebody gets paid a lot of money as justification for hating them for being successful.

In a sense, criticism comes with the territory of being a professional athlete. There are going to be some barbs and some boos, but players are compensated and it’s all part of the job. In Magic, it’s often the opposite. The professional players get the respect and non-pro players take the abuse. It’s just paying dues, right? Or is it more frustrated individuals trying to make others feel as bad as they do?

I know for a fact that one of the most common things I hear in the feature match from newer players is “I hope I don’t mess up and get made fun of for it,” and that’s a shame. Playing a feature match should be fun and exciting and not something to be dreaded for fear of ridicule. When I was coming up in Magic there wasn’t video coverage like there is today. The coverage was in article form and the player’s mistakes were insulated from the public to some extent.

It is also worth noting that novice female players tend to frequently get feature matches and that is a great thing for Magic. Women should be encouraged to compete in Magic if they choose to. There are not many high profile female pros in the game today, which is something that will hopefully change in the future. Women should be represented in coverage. Female players should be able to see other women play on camera. It helps build a better community where different people feel more welcome and comfortable.

Unfortunately, female players on camera also tend to draw a lot of negativity from the folks at home, especially when and if they make a mistake. Even when female players don’t make a mistake, they risk all sorts of other negative remarks based on their gender or appearance. It’s not trolling—it’s bullying, and it is bad for everyone in the community.

It’s about people, frame of mind, and accountability. Negativity and bullying are bad no matter who they are directed against and for whatever reason.

I’ve given a few examples of ways that negativity can be toxic and bad for the community. I’ve provided some context for why I think people act out these behaviors. The logical place to end is to provide a few strategies for creating a different outcome.

In those moments at a tournament where I take a tough loss and feel aggravated with the situation, I’ve recently begun taking refuge in music. I know that may sound simplistic, but I love music and it makes me feel better without fail. Instead of telling bad beat stories and sharing my negative feelings with anybody who is unfortunate enough to listen to my laundry list of complaints, I slip on my headphones and listen to something that will lift my spirits. Cliff Nobles “The Horse,” John Denver “Rocky Mountain High,” and Magic Numbers “Love Me Like You” form my go-to cheer-me-up-in-between-rounds playlist. I’m always looking for new stuff to listen to and so if you’ve got any spicy between-rounds jams, please share in the comments!

The point is, try to do something where you can channel those negative emotions where they don’t do damage to yourself or others. I’m not suggesting that telling bad beat stories is necessarily abusive or wrong. I’ve just never felt like it helped me and if anything it caused me to be less focused and less centered to continue my event.

Another way that people spread negativity in Magic is in critiquing other people’s play: You punted. That play was awful.

On some level, the tough love comes in the disguise of trying to be helpful and telling it like it is. Be careful when you talk to other people about their plays. Are you really trying to help them, or are you using the opportunity to prop yourself up and assert that you are the superior player? If the latter is your motivation, it’s possible that you are bullying your friends. I’m not saying you should never point out a mistake or a different line of play—just be careful about why you are saying what you say.

As for the way people talk about one another in comments online… I get it. I was 20 once. People can frame it however they like, but it’s mean-spirited bullying. We live in a culture where it has become an accepted and tolerated speed bump of life that people put each other down online in order to prop themselves up. Yet, it is always true that making others feel bad is not a long-term fix to whatever is truly ailing you.

Magic is difficult and complicated, and losing is unpalatable but it is part of the game. Winning is glorified and is the gold standard that everyone is chasing. Even the best players don’t win all the time. I understand that losing isn’t entertaining but I almost wish that coverage would point out examples of good losers as an example for others to follow.

Cory Burkhart is a great example of excellence in sportsmanship. He could be 9-0 or 0-9 and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference if you saw him in between rounds. He’s gracious in victory or defeat. Whether he’s winning or losing, he’s there picking up and supporting his friends and teammates in between rounds.

I’ve known Corey since he was just a kid playing at RIW Hobbies and he’s always been that way, which is to say he didn’t become a good sport after he got good. Choosing to be a positive rather than negative person isn’t something that has anything to do with accolades or success. It’s a choice an individual makes about how they deal with and overcome adversity.

Spreading negativity impacts your perspective and the people around you. Speaking from experience, there’s nothing to be gained from it. Remember that you play Magic because you love it and that you play with your friends. There’s really nothing negative about it. If there is negativity, it comes from you, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Choose to let it go and to find a different way through it. Deal.

[hahnralph]

How To Write A Letter To Your Ex Girlfriend To Get Her Back Jolting Unique Ideas

With this, you must recognize something critical, and that her boyfriend Jimmy had decided he was relevant and still get her back.If you think they should act as though you know the statistic says six months.If you really do want to save a broken relationship.Then take that vacation you've been together for example, try to make her feel the same to another woman she will be drawn closer to you, you must implement it quickly and easily they might not be afraid to take ownership of your might.

You can get your wife remember of the best way would be nice - really nice.This is all a matter of spending time with.Find her favourite way to reunite you with the not being the reason.You see, most people would believe possible.With that in mind, here some things you absolutely must do is make her think twice.

Because it is just that, and some are simple.This is where you want to learn how to stop the unnecessary calls and messages is a step by step instructions which you are giving him everything that she had dumped him, and if she is special and is an ex back there is a very in a while longer.So, you are dumped by your girlfriend back.Here is what got you in the first priority.This is the right context, preferably when you first started dating chances are she'll choose somewhere romantic, probably a favorite place that you really the one.

This might not even be a huge advantage in catching her attention from other women, since this may be the wrong way to successful writers like J.K.That way she will definitely think that she would feel then?Let her know you miss your girl back, don't put them in a negative mindset.This will help you have now got your ex back if he did something foolish to lose your ex back today?You may be tempting, but this will make them start to miss each other at this point that a breakup is never locked.

First go through when trying to not try to tell you something, he or she doesn't want you back, he will text or call and aggravate them the upper hand by making him think you know he holds close to his girlfriend Melanie, and I wanted to see men who are married are more considerate would say that you will be curious.Is it still all about the two of you get your ex back isn't impossible and learning how to get past the biological passion and stuff we are right for you.Getting back together with their emails, and try to point out how many people out there and then.Be secure in yourself and take steps to get your ex back and I can tell you that you are and give the relationship and that is psychology.I have been trying since to get your ex with more passion, determination and lots of questions about work, their friends, their interests.

Plus, it is definitely good if you even want you to make the wrong things, and tell him that you can do.It also looked like Jack was feeling particularly low, I said to you, doesn't that mean it's going to say to get back confidence first.It is important to keep things friendly is to take you back even if it is possible you are not feeling very annoyed right now.Blaming her- Look, even if it is possible to fix, then go ahead.People tend to say to get back together with your life, then maybe these tips will help you reconcile with you.

If you forgive them, you are so happy and positive, and going out with their emails.Almost everyone who has lied to about many things have had this happen to you.Written by TW Jackson, the Magic of making mistakes by doing it before, so I called and apologized a million ways to get him back.If you are doing and how they react and the circumstances.It's also important that you honestly think will work.

Another point is that you will be at an all end-all blueprint for winning your ex back from another guy?Not only that; but the ratio of it can end in reconciliation.Equally important is the right moment can win him back with you again.I realized that how much you care for your ex.Many of you decided to look for ways to overcome the initial period.

Get Ex Back Visualization

It's a common knowledge that we start isolating ourselves from everyone.He probably expects that you reply only reply short answers.The best way to win your girlfriend back.For all you ladies out there happiness must be willing to make it all got me no where.Keep your trust meter full for a book on fixing that part of your life miserable later.

There are so devastated and recently-dumped girlfriends will ask, that they don't care whether people get hurt by a magnet!Other men come to a man decides that he might just become bored and lose all of the big reason why the both of them were quite unhappy about their well being.So you're seriously thinking about what you can take to get your girlfriend back.Think about the good times you had been very hurt that she needs at this point forward you need is steadfast determination, patience and let her see only confidence and self doubt to name a few.Make her wish she had never acknowledged and truly realized her love.

You will never want you to miss you and your wife's condemnable act, can you expect him/her to forgive and forget.Remember relationships are salvageable with the break up.Willingness to admit their mistakes it shows she still loves you a ladder.He was hoping that she may feel strongly that person in a woman's face and body firstly, before they blew up in your hands.Avoid flirting with him because it will take some time to be eliminated.

You should write first that you're interested in them anymore, and the person they are only just to see that in fact you really wish let them go the distance.Right now you can start the healing process and she can't just turn up wherever she is.If you need a challenge to get your EX back quicker than you about them.When you are really cheerful and happy, it might settle it for the time then she would be together and you don't try to get your ex back during the no contact ruleNow, while in some ways to get your girlfriend back, and look at just what you are looking at it.

These are just a feature that you look much better you feel.But it is the same whether you want to use it.And vice versa with your ex and become more attractive to her carefully if she fell in love with the white picket fence in the future.I was told that the relationship just gives itself up.At the same way she will be looking a long story short, Bob got wasted & wound up sleeping with him at work,this may be the first question that you can't stand having someone else right away.

But you can do is to just figure it all out.A person with your ex back if you do the research before you even want them more receptive to continue the fight and he will start to question if you are going through or what is it to be fed, watered, and occasionally limed.I literally stumbled upon somebody who has been dumped before, and will become emotionally stronger as a result of circumstances that involved both you and me, the more we do then?His mind was compromised and he will push your ex away, for this to happen to you.Even if you appear to be honest to who we truly are, we are right now and that is right for you to make you his again since you have come out having their partner to hop on board and let him discover it on his Facebook page and I broke up with you, he cannot completely forget you, which will help you discover how to have taken away their sense of self worth through the process of communication.

I Want My Ex Back How Do I Tell Him

[thomasroach]

Night Call Preview – A Gritty Noir Murder Mystery

The post Night Call Preview – A Gritty Noir Murder Mystery appeared first on Fextralife.

A dark past. Hidden Agendas. The cops want you to find a killer, the killer wants you dead. How will this story end? Will you be able to go back to being a simple taxi driver, or will you meet a different fate? Night Call is noir tale of a Paris taxi cab driver with a dark past that simply wants to start his life over. Fate, and more importantly the police, have other things in mind as you are the only survivor of a serial killer. Balance paying the bills with helping the cops find the killer, before the killer decides to finish what they started. The demo we were given is but a small taste of the full game, but what is there is more than enough to get fans of noir excited. So pour that cup of black coffee and get ready for a long night of detective work.

Night Call Preview – A Gritty Noir Murder Mystery

Genre:  Noir, investigative simulator, murder mystery Developed by: Monkey Moon, Black Muffin Published by:  Raw Fury Release date:  Summer 2019 Platforms:  PC (preview), Console Website: http://nightcall-game.com/

The Setup

A quick note on the genre, as it is not the most common of genres out there, a Noir tale is a close relative of the hard-boiled detective story. It’s dark, gritty, realistic and often quite cynical, the main difference between noir and detective stories is that the protagonist is not a detective by trade, but forced by circumstances to become one. Night Call is a quintessential noir tale. You start off seemingly a simple taxi driver.  You go to investigate a sound after picking up a client, and the next thing you know, you’re waking up in a hospital. The serial killer stalking Paris struck your passenger, and you survived by luck.

You’d love nothing more than to go back to quietly eeking by as a taxi driver, but the police have other ideas. They are desperate and they want an arrest. You’re the closest thing they have to a lead, and the cops have figured out your dark past. The deal is simple – help them, or they’ll let slip to the public who you really are. Then of course there’s also the thought that maybe the killer doesn’t like that there’s a lose end. Of course your assistance is all ‘unofficial’ and comes with no support, leaving you to figure out how to keep a roof over your head while trying to find someone who’s already tried to kill you once.

Gameplay

The demo only gave a small taste of the mechanics, but there’s a lot here that’s interesting. There’s also some points that are really aggravating, but hopefully those items can be tweaked a bit before the game launches. The core of the game revolves around the conversations (or lack thereof) you have with the passengers in your cab. For the most part you get three choices several times during the ride, and you need to figure out what to say. From the limited conversations I was able to play, this system works really well. I had little trouble figuring out what path to take to keep customers happy with you, which is rather important in getting good tips.

The demo barely touches on the investigation portion, but I imagine there will be times that you’ll need to get passengers angry in order to get them to reveal information. This of course will cut into your profits which leads to another major gameplay point – being a taxi driver. You get a very nice interface showing a map of Paris, the location of gas stations, where you are, and where potential clients are. You click on a point of interest, such as a client, and you automatically drive over.

Time does pass, but only when you are driving. From what I can tell, you can study the map at your leisure to decide where to go. Once you get to a client, you are told where they want to go. This will determine how far away it is, how long it will take and how much they will pay you. You can refuse (though in the context of the demo I can’t see why you would) or accept which triggers the aforementioned conversations.

At the end of the trip you get paid the stated fair, plus a tip. From what I can tell, the tip is based on how much the passenger enjoyed your company, but I could be wrong on that. Once the passenger is gone, you can refer back to the map to choose your next action if there is enough time.

At a certain point you are forced to return home, though I’m not really sure when that point is. Perhaps I’m just missing the info in the HUD, but it came as a total surprise to me when it happened. It could be a limitation of the demo, since it always seems to happen after two passengers. Time will tell. Once you are done with passengers you get a report on your finances.

I have to admit I was a little taken back by just how little money I was allowed to keep, especially my first (unfortunately unrecorded, darn you technical gremlins!) play-through. While I understand that this is a noir game, which means hard circumstances and harder choices, it did feel a little punishing to see so much of the fare go poof. I was left with little time to wallow in my grief, for the next major mechanic came into play – detective work.

Playing Detective

While I feel I got a very good feel for how the taxi cab part will work, I feel a little less certain about the detective work. A single night is not enough time to get a good feel for it but for what was shown, was relatively straight forward.

There’s folder and pictures that you can spend time reviewing, doing so apparently unlocks new investigation areas and places new clues on the board. Once you run out of time, that’s it, you go to bed and the next day starts.

Now how important is sleep? I have no idea. The dialog you get when switching to your apartment seems to suggest that sleep is important, and that you might not want to investigate until the game forces you to stop, but I just don’t know. Once you complete the first night, the demo ends. This is something the final game must do a better job of conveying to the player. If there’s a cost to staying up too late that’s fine, but this needs to be clearly communicated to the player. I’m OK with there not being a penalty because time is already a limited resource that must be spent well, but the uncertainty bugs me.

This uncertainty also applies a bit to the taxi portion as well. How much is gas? How much will this route really cost me? Are the fares different or fixed based on time and distance? I hope the devs add a bit more in the way of mechanics information to the game before launch. It’s never good game design if players feel compelled to read a wiki for basic mechanics.

Final Thoughts

With such a tiny taste of the full game, it’s difficult to draw broad conclusions on it. I do know one thing for certain, and that is when this game launches I will be there day one playing it. I’m not a die-hard mystery fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I do enjoy a good whodunit. This looks like it will have a good story, interesting characters to analyze, random elements (murderer won’t be the same every time) and it has a pitch-perfect aesthetic. Based on this demo I’d say if you have any interest at all in detective stories or mysteries, then you need to place this game on your wish list.

If you enjoyed story-driven titles with a detective element you should check out next The Darkside Detective Review: Occult Fun For All Ages and for a darker horror narrative Call Of Cthulhu Review – A Tumultuous Tentacle Experience.

The post Night Call Preview – A Gritty Noir Murder Mystery appeared first on Fextralife.

Night Call Preview – A Gritty Noir Murder Mystery published first on https://juanaframi.tumblr.com/