#crossover: steve and carla

[manyfandomocs]

oc ship ask, Steve & Carla?

Lemme know if there's anything specific for Carla

height difference | mutual pining | first kiss | first love | wedding | in-jokes | lgbt+ | family disapproves | friend disapproves | would die for each other | fake relationship (to piss off Rachel??) | arranged wedding | cuddlers | pda friendly | and they were room mates | holding hands | secret relationship | opposing world views | opposing personalities | opposing goals | getting a pet | have a kid in an au | want kids | grow old together | previous relationship failures | rests head on shoulder | share a bed | token dummies | relationship doubts | they have a song | first date | share a jacket | sharing a blanket | mutual interests | study buddies | bathing together | crash-into hello | accidental nudity | laundry | same hobbies | cooking for each other | big fancy gala | sibling rivalry | hair stroking | dancing | laying in the grass | watching stars together | watching the other sleep | shared values | friends to lovers | enemies to lovers | lovers to enemies | childhood friends | slow burn | love triangle | toxic relationship | sitting on each other’s laps | can’t be together | hugs | forehead touches | neck kisses | car/motorbike rides | compliments | nicknames | falling asleep together | late night talks | gifts

Send me a ship and see…

[artismismasuperpowee]

Dandadan x Gravity falls crossover,

Momo - Stanley Pines

Okarun - Fiddleford McGucket

Aira - Carla McCorkle

Jiji - Stanford Pines

Seiko - Caryn

Turbo Granny - Pyramid Steve

Evil Eye - Bill Cypher

So there are few changes :

- Stanford is in boarding school that is cursed by Bill Cipher

- Caryn is a psychic and has magic powers from unicorns and their hair

- Stanley got his powers like Momo a'la canon

- Fiddleford in his cursed form has symilar powers to Okarun, but he has tentacles ( I'll gonna drew him)

- Carla got her powers like Aira a'la canon

- Steve instead of Maneki doll, he possesed taxidermy jacalope made by Stanley as a gift for Caryn

That's it, for now.

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Question 3

I need to update my crossover masterlist and I have some of them written down but sos send help on what I'm missing

@the-witching-ash

Descendants

Fabian x Ace

Fabian x Lawson

Fabian & Honey

Edmund x Ace

Edmund x Cosette

Edmund x Anissa

Fabian x Cosette

Raphael x Cosette

Glee

Henry x Sadie

Henry x May

Andrew x Carla

Andrew x/& Kath

Andrew & Oz

Andrew & Cece

Andrew x/& Cole

Elphie & Carla

Billy x Cole

Mary x Mimi

Gilmore Girls

Grace x Vicki

Floyd x Vicki

Eileen x Vicki

Vance x Emmeline

Hunger Games

Raymond x Callisto

Raymond x Apollo

Raymond x Amor

Raymond x Jude

@cecexwrites

Descendants

Quinn x Ace

Ismene x Ace

Ismene x Cosette

Quinn x Cosette

Aleks x Cosette

Gossip Girl

Finn & Evie

Tinsley & Evie

Covey & Theo

Finn & Theo

Tinsley & Theo

Mimi & Coco

Covey & Nolan

@manyfandomocs

Descendants

Gabe & Cosette

Glee

Ashton x Cole

Steve & Tegan

Gossip Girl

Wesley x Kyla

Wesley 

Hunger Games

Deryn x Bellona

Deryn x Marisol

Misc

Vincent & Mercy

@ginevrastilinski-ocs

Descendants

Jax x Cosette

Glee

Betty & Kipp

Hunger Games

Callie & Lacey

Callie & Alton

DC

Lucian x/& Kinsley

Jericho & Sarina

[occasional-ghost]

Niche Questions + Hayden

a song that reminds me of them: n/a

what they smell like: Tom Ford Ombré Leather Eau de Parfum

an otp: Hayden/Bonnie

a notp: Hayden/Rachel

favorite platonic/familial relationships: Al & Sugar, Sam

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: N/A

the position they sleep in: on his side, snuggling a comfort plushie

a crossover au i’d love to see them in: Benjamin or Elliot or Jean or anyone tbh, @randomestfandoms-ocs Carla (softest cousins ever I love them), Hillary, Sav or any their oc’s, also maybe @manyfandomocs Ashton, Juniper, Steve or anyone their vibing with for him.

(Tbh I just want Hayden to have all the crossovers ever)

my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn: Sugar’s Sugar Shack party in season 3!

[berenwrites]

Lost Boys - Stranger Things Musings

Saw someone (my apologies, I cannot remember who) post about a Lost Boys AU with Stranger Things characters, and that got me thinking. How about a Lost Boys/Stranger Things crossover?!

The Lost Boys came out in 87, so let's just go with that's the year it's set. So a year and a bit after the debacle of Hawkins Spring 86, everyone from s4 is alive (yes including Eddie) and recovered, Vecna is no more, and Steve cooks ups the wild idea of getting the hell out of dodge for a summer vacation, all the kids, him, Eddie, Robin, Argyle, Jonathan and Nancy.

They're end destination is a couple of days in Disneyland in California, but they have decided to drive having rented 2 RVs to see lots of fun places on the way. Unfortunately, they get stuck in Santa Carla when one of the RVs breaks down.

Cue Eddie and Steve bumping into some decidedly weird dudes (David and the gang) on the boardwalk where everyone has gone to blow off some steam as they wait for the RV to be repaired. Maybe having been brought back from the dead after the Upside Down, Eddie pings on their radar, so they are interested.

Something, something, Steve ends up half vamped like Michael. Sue me, if I can torture Steve, I will 😝.

All the Hawkins lot are like, "Vampires - seriously?!" And join forces with the Santa Carla crowd. Sam is gonna love Max and Lucas, and Dustin and Mike would so go toe to toe with the Frog Brothers over vampire lore, not to mention the brains Erica will bring to the table! Jon and Argyle will probably miss most of it, having started talking weed with the Frog's parents. Nancy will be all over figuring out who the head vampire is. And Eddie and Robin will be worrying about Steve, who is trying very hard not to bite people and commiserating about doomed love with Michael (the fact he got Eddie back being a ray of hope in the shit storm).

And oh, boy, is the head vampire in for a shock when he comes up against El and a bunch of teens who are so done with this life or death shit.

I mean, there's also the option of Grandpa being so weird because he was into shady government stuff in his earlier life and doesn't even bat an eye at a girl who can move stuff with her mind.

I will probably never write this, but it is now stuck in my brain, so I thought I would share my pain.

[luminnara]

Just went through the Lost boys x stranger things tag and I'm IN LOOOOVEEEE!!! I LOVE IT SO FREAKING MUCH!!! THE AMOUNT OF POSSIBILITIES OMG. My mind is reeling with the boys thoughts on the party back in Hawkins. Who would is their favorite kid? Who talks to Will about his (cough gay thoughts cough)? Who would have a sass battle and nice comebacks with Max? Who spoils Dustin rotten or becomes a bad influence? Who is trying to not wrangle Mike? WHO TALKS AND GIVE SPORT ADVICE TO MY LUCAS??? WHO IS ABSOLUTELY OVER THE MOON OR FREAKED OUT ABOUT JANE/011'S POWERS??? *I need answers*

This crossover is literally THE perfect thing to me right now so I’m very glad other people like it so I don’t have to shut up about it 😂

Dwayne chills and listens to Will talk, but David is the one who’s actually helpful. He’s good at tough love because he’s an asshole, so it’s what he does for ALL of them. Like, it isn’t necessarily the best approach, but he’d sit there, take a drag, and go “so next time Mike wheeler is ignoring you, you hafta just threaten his life. It’s the only way you’ll get his attention. It’s 1986 who gives a shit anyways”

Dustin and Paul hang out. Dustin hates it at first because he’s like “this guy is a fucking idiot” but Paul has saved Dustin’s ass from surf Nazis like three times now and keeps following him around asking science questions. If the kids didn’t already know that the boys were vampires before, they’re gonna suspect that something weird is going on, because Dustin will be talking about radios or something and Paul will just go “oh lmao back in my day the gramophone was the big new thing. Progress sure is wild huh” and walk away

Of course, this also means that Paul is a terrible influence on Dustin, and when Steve rolls into town he’s SO mad about it lol

Marko and Max. Absolute pals. At first they can’t STAND each other, but after fifteen minutes of slinging insults back and forth, they realize that they’re totally on the same wavelength. Marko is like the fun older brother that Billy can’t bring himself to be, and they hang out and skate around the boardwalk and run from the cops every night.

Dwayne gives Lucas sports (and girl) advice. They play football on the beach at night and he uses the carnival games on the boardwalk as basketball practice. Even though Dwayne isn’t particularly good at either sport, he’s still a vampire, so he does pretty well lol

They are ALL trying not to throttle Mike like it’s an episode of the simpsons. They’re a group of dudes who are all sort of dating each other and don’t let anybody get in the way of that, so it’s like a very gay bros before hoes thing, except they’re both the bros AND the hoes in their situation. The point is, they would see how Mike’s relationship with El has been shoving his friendships to the side, and they wouldn’t like that. I also don’t really think they would get along with him at first, because he would make some comments that they absolutely HATE and all be asking Steve if he REALLY needs all of these kids or if he would be okay with them chomping on one

David would think el’s powers are neat. They wouldn’t freak the vampires out too much, since they can play mind tricks on humans already, and they would want to test things out and see if they can pull their usual pranks on her or not.

The frog brothers are spying the entire time and they’re SO freaked out about El. They’re calling Sam up to tell him that the government has come to Santa Carla and it’s only a matter of days before they’re all turned into lizard people

[trash-gobby]

second batch of headers i created :D

✨ The Suicide Squad (2021)

✨ Abner Krill X GN!Reader

✨ Plot: You take Abner to see a very special art exhibition at the museum.

✨ Stranger Things (2016-Present)

✨ Undecided.

✨ Plot: Some of the teens of Hawkins end up being stuck in detention for the day. Shenanigans ensue.

✨ Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003)

✨ Buffy Summers X Faith Lehane

✨ Plot: Buffy has left Sunnydale. Having lost hope and fallen into a deep depression, she finds herself spiralling until she meets a girl one day at work who challenges her perception about life and love.

✨ Stranger Things (2016-Present)

✨ Eddie Munson X GN!Reader

✨ Plot: Eddie see's the reader at a music event and wants to talk to them but doesn't know how.

✨ The Lost Boys (1987)

✨ Paul X Enby!Reader

✨ Plot: Paul starts to develop feelings for a local skateboarder and tries to figure out how to impress them.

✨ Near Dark (1987)

✨ Severen X GN!Reader

✨ Plot: Working the closing shift at the mall was nothing unusual for you. Restocking shelves and making sure to usher customers out of the store before locking up.

What you least expect is to become the target of a vampire which is hungry for more than just the taste of blood.

✨ Near Dark (1987)

✨ Diamondback X Fem!Reader

✨ After having a fight with her lover Jesse, Diamondback goes out into the night to cool off.

She wants nothing more then to find something, or someone to drink. What she doesn't expect is to find someone who she actually manages to feel something other than hunger for.

✨ Alien Franchise (1979-Present)

✨ Ellen Ripley X Dwayne Hicks (not prominent in the story)

✨ Plot: Undecided.

✨ Stranger Things (2016-Present)

✨ Steve Harrington X Eddie Munson

✨ Plot: Getting sick of being stuck inside over the summer Steve allows Robin to rope him into hanging out with the gang at the Hawkins Community Pool. There he contends with chaotic yet oddly compelling recent addition to their ever expanding group, Eddie Munson.

✨ Fright Night (1985), The Lost Boys (1987) & Near Dark (1987) crossover

✨ David X Michael Emerson, Diamondback X Jesse Hooker, Severen X Caleb Colton, Star X Mae, Paul X Marko (subject to change)

✨ After the attempt which the lost boys made on the Emerson family, Michael isn't sure what is going to come next. They did a number on David and the others, but they managed to get away. Now they have to anticipate what will come next...

Caleb and his family have sold the farm and moved as quickly as possible across the country. Hoping that they've covered their tracks enough, will Santa Carla be far enough away to escape the vampires hunting them?

Jerry Dandridge barely escaped with his life, now he is planning to recoup and pick up the pieces in a new town. (subject to change).

[babywrites]

Buenos Nachos Everyone! Or well, anyone seeing this post! I went ahead and complied a list of pairings I am interested in playing out, aka pls give me all my ships. We have mainly Marvel & DC ships (cinematic and comic friendly), but I got a few other fandoms tossed in there! Bolded are who I wish to play and please reach out to me if you’re interested in any of these. I exclusively roleplay on Discord and am that messy partner who is up at 3am with angsty headcanons and highkey crying over our ships. I’ll try not to be too much of a bother :) Please like or message me! xx

pairings i want. 

dc. 

barbara gordon x dick grayson

barbara gordon x jason todd

barbara gordon x bruce wayne

diana prince x arthur curry 

diana prince x bruce wayne

diana prince x clark kent

diana prince x steve trevor

dinah lance x bruce wayne

dinah lance x oliver queen

harley quinn x bruce wayne

harley quinn x dick grayson

raven x beast boy

marvel.

bobbi morse x bucky barnes

bobbi morse x clint barton

bobbi morse x steve rogers

cindy moon x peter parker

dinah madani x billy russo

dinah madanix frank castle

felicia hardy x peter parker

gamora x peter quill

gamora x thor odinson

gwen stacy x peter parker

gwen stacy x miles morales

jessica drew x clint barton

jessica drew x danny rand

jessica drew x steve rogers

jessica jones x clint barton

jessica jones x frank castle

jessica jones x luke cage

jessica jones x matt murdock

karen page x frank castle

mj watson x peter parker

misty knight x danny rand

misty knight x sam wilson

pepper potts x tony stark

valkyrie x loki laufeyson

valkyrie x thor odinson

vanessa carlisle x wade wilson

crossovers.

barbara gordon x steve rogers - dc/marvel

diana prince x loki laufeyson- dc/marvel

diana prince x t’challa - dc/marvel

diana prince x thor odinson - dc/marvel

caroline forbes x dean winchester tvd/spn

misc ships. 

angelica schuyler x aaron burr -hamilton 

angelica schuyler x alexander hamilton - hamilton 

carla rosón caleruega x samuel garcía domínguez - elite

caroline forbes x klaus mikaelson - tvd/originals.

nadia shanaa x guzman nunier osuna - elite

nancy wheeler x jonathan byers - stranger things.

nancy wheeler x steve harrington - stranger things.

theodosia burr x phillip hamilton - hamilton 

[theatrelove3000]

Ask Me Again

Alright. This one takes a bit of explaining. I have this headcannon that in Asgard, if you are engaged and don’t get married in under a year or so, you have to propose again. I know that’s not a thing but roll with it, okay?

This was originally 2 parts when I wrote it but its faster to read all at once. It is a lot though; this one kind of got away from me... 7,151 words. Oops.

Background: Noelle and Loki were “Bound” by a witch in Alfheim after a battle they fought in. This means that the witch split each of their souls in half and one half switched places. Noelle has half of Loki’s soul and vise versa. They can feel each others emotions and hear each others thoughts.

Summary: Loki returns from a mission with serious injuries, which prompts him to ask Noelle a question and surprise her with a fairytale dream.

Warnings: Implied smut, slight issues with a father (I don’t like the term “daddy issues”), fighting kind of, more fluff than should be possible but I accomplished somehow, swearing I think? I did base a part of this on scenes from Criminal Minds and How I Met Your Mother. There is also a crossover in characters from Scrubs because I love Dr. Cox.

Ask Me Again

Noelle PoV: 

"Are you ever going to take that off?"

"Fuck off, Stark. Let me wear my cape in peace!" I say as I walk into the kitchen, said cape flowing around me. 

Loki is laughing at the exchange. Of course he is.

He is the one that bought the cape.

It is black with a velvet collar and intricate beading accents in the lapels and down the middle of the back. The inside is lined with silver satin. The Phantom of the Opera's cape. 

Each Avenger has a floor that could easily be called a penthouse. Loki and I each had our own since we tried to keep our relationship a secret when we first joined the Avengers, but the second that Bucky started flirting with me, that plan ended. We have lived together ever since and Tony turned Loki's floor into a movie theater.

"Why are you even here Tony? Don't you have somewhere else to be? Something to blow up?" I ask him through the pass through in the kitchen.

"It already blew up. I was kicked out of the lab by Bruce. I got bored in the lounge so I figured I'd hang here." 

"Why did you believe yourself welcome?" Loki asks him, sounding annoyed, from his corner.

"I could think of many reasons but I'm going to just ignore that question because it will be answered in about..." he looks at his watch, "16 seconds. Got any food in there, Lady Darkness?"

"Not any that I'm willing to share, Iron Man."

The elevator dings and out steps the reason Tony Stark made himself welcome in my house.

"Hi, Auntie Elle! Mr. Loki, I came to see if you had the ice cream Mr. Stark told me I couldn't have anymo-" he stops as he turns the corner, his eyes finding Tony sitting on the couch.

"Hello, Pete."

Peter squeaks.

"What did I tell you about using Reindeer Games' mischievous temperament and amusement in disobeying me?"

"That if I'm going to be sneaky, to use Mr. Bucky." 

"Hey!" Loki looks put out.

"Exactly! It's too obvious if you use Rock of Ages. He is the most likely to help you keep things from me." 

"I don't agree."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stark. I just really like coffee ice cream floats made with red bull instead of root beer and Auntie Elle has both!" 

"I don't have redbull!"

"Bottom shelf, love."

"Holy shit, where did all this come from?"

I hear Tony stand up from the couch and walk towards Peter. Loki is suddenly behind me with a hand on my lower back. I turn around as Tony hands Peter a small paper bag. Peter opens it and peers inside with a look of shock before taking out a Starkbucks cup.

"I have changed the rule so you may have one caffeinated drink from Starkbucks a month. This is your one." Tony explains as Peter looks like he's about to cry. "You don't need to continue to sneak things behind my back. If you're gonna drink coffee, I'd rather you do it in the house than on the streets of New York." Pete wraps his arms around his mentor and thanks him excessively for a single drink.

"You would think he just gave him license to drink alcohol." I mutter to Loki, who snickers and wraps his arms around me.

I pull away from him and stand in the doorway. "As much as I love having this very interesting exchange occur in my living room, I have a headache. Get out!"

Loki chuckles and Peter walks toward the elevator while Tony mumbles about how he's being kicked off a floor of his own building.

They haven't even reached the elevator when the doors open and Cap comes running out.

"Loki and Tony. Suit up. You're with me on this one." 

"I wanna go!" Peter says loudly and all the adults say 'no' at the same time. He pouts and I wrap my arm around his shoulders, ushering him to the couch. Tony and Cap enter the elevator and Loki tells them he will meet them in the car. 

I follow him to the bedroom. He is in a rush and is teleporting around the room because it's faster. I sit on the end of our bed and watch him pull on his armour. He pulls the breastplate over his head and starts to tug the leather straps together.

I know he is worried for me, I can see it. He's always worried when one of us leaves suddenly. Sometimes we wake up to someone knocking on our bedroom door, telling us it's time to go. Just part of the job. 

I stand up and help him fasten the straps. He lets his hands run through my hair and slides to hold the back to my neck. I finish the clasps and he pulls me up to his lips, kissing me gently.

I pull away first, breathing heavily. "You have to go." I whisper, "We will be okay." 

"I know. You always are."

"Be safe. Come home to me, yeah?" 

"Always." And with that he leaves.

That's the last I hear from him or Tony or Steve in 6 days.

~~~~~~~~~~

*6:32 am*

The ringing of my phone cuts through my sleep like a knife. I groan and roll over to face Loki's side of the bed. Morgan was sleeping peacefully. I'm watching her while Tony is on the mission and Pepper had to make an emergency trip out of state.

I reach over to my bedside table and pick up my phone.

Steve.

"Hello?" I ask, voice groggy from sleep.

"Elle, you need to get to the hospital right now, please."

My heart stopped.

"Cap, what happened? Are you alright? Is Loki okay?"

"Noelle, take a breath. Everything will be fine. Just get here. We are at Lenox Hill."

The line goes dead.

I jump out of bed and rush to my dresser, pulling out a pair of jeans. I forget to be quiet and Morgan wakes up. 

"Auntie Elle?"

"Sorry, honey. We gotta go on a little drive. Do you want to change or go in your jammies?" I tell her, turning on the light beside the bed.

"Where are we going?"

I pull on Loki's sweatshirt and help her out of bed. "To see daddy. Let me get your jacket, okay? That's it. Up we come. Where are your shoes?"

I get her ready to go and put her one of the cars Tony allows the Avengers to use. I drive the speed limit but only because I have little Morgan in the backseat. I text Tony and Steve when we get there and pick up Morgan.

We walk through the door and a nurse came to ask what the problem was. I told her I was here to see someone. Before I could answer who, Tony moves in and takes his daughter from my shaking arms.

"She's with us. Thank you, Nurse Carla." He winks at her.

Nurse Carla smiles at him and walks away.

Tony leads me through the halls, explaining the mission.

"We were sent Upstate to find the new Hydra basecamp. Everything was going smoothly, we had almost wrapped it up when three enhanced showed up in the field. One had similar powers to Wanda and paralyzed Cap and I, but she wasn't strong enough to get her hold around Loki. He engaged on his own and was able to incapacitate them but wasn't able to come out without any injuries. His wounds were extensive but are healing rapidly, probably due to the fact that he's basically a god. He has a cracked skull, 4 broken ribs, a fractured ulna, and a massive bruise on his right leg. He will be okay but he demanded that we call you before we went home. Something about not wanting Thor to freak out. Doctor Dorian say he will be out of here by noon at the rate his wounds are healing." 

We have arrived at the room by now and stop in the doorway. There is a curtain shielding my view of Loki. I can see his boots from under it. Why the fuck is this dumbass sitting up?

He feels me. He's sitting up because he knows I'm here. He's reaching for me.

"Thanks." I mutter to Tony and walk in.

He is sitting up, waiting patiently with one hand on his thigh and the other in a sling. He has a few stitches in his forehead but the wound is healing nicely. His shirt is off and a bandage is wrapped around him over his right shoulder to under his left arm and down to the middle of his chest.

The second he sees me, he takes off the sling and throws it to the side. I don't even care right now, I know how fast he heals, but I'm more worried about getting my hands on him.

I wrap my arms around his shoulders and he buries his face in my neck, pulling me to stand between his legs.

"Hello, darling." He chuckles and I tighten my grip in a greeting.

I pull away from him to look him in the eyes, taking a small step back. I don't realize I'm crying until he brushes my tears away.

"Hey. Come now, love." His hand moves from my waist to the back of my neck and down my arm before taking my hand in his own. "No tears. It's alright, Noelle. I'm safe. It's all going to be fine." He brushes a lock of my hair behind my ear, letting his knuckles graze my cheek.

"Ask me again?" I say to him.

"What?" He mutters, looking taken aback.

"Ask me." I whisper.

His eyes light up in realization, his arm slips around my waist again. He pulls me flush against him.

"Noelle Elizabeth Tyrdottir, will you marry me?"

"Yes." I say. I hug him again and release the breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"About damn time!" He exclaims, making me laugh a little.

"There's a chapel here. Let's do it now, let's get it over with."

"Oh, gods no. I'm not dressed properly."

"I think you look damn good but alright, fine. Monday then. Put it in your calendar 'cause we have a date at the courthouse." 

He laughs, and kisses my forehead.

"Will you please lay back now? You're making me worry." 

"I'm fine, love. Really. I just ache and have a few bruises. It will be fine." 

"Yet, when I come back with a black eye and wrapped ankle, you demand that I stay in bed for 3 days. Lay down."

He grumbles under his breath about how that’s different because I am only half Asgardian. I am more mortal than he is.

"Mr. Odinson, I need you to lay back please. Does your shoulder still ache?" A doctor with crazy brown hair comes in, "Oh, hello. I'm Doctor Dorian. You must be the wife?"

"Not yet,  she's not." Loki mutters under his breath as he slides back onto the bed. I go flick his ear but he catches my hand and pulls it to his mouth, kissing my wrist.

"I see. Well as long as you are family you can stay. I assume you are an Avenger as well? I have seen you before but I'm not sure where. I have also seen what this guy can do and I hear he packs quite a swing. And also daggers. You don't have daggers on you, do you?" Loki smirks,

"I don't really want to break you two up but..." Dr. Dorian is rambling and trails off as Loki wraps his good arm around me and pulls me to sit next to him on the bed.

"You could try to take her from me. See what happens if you do." 

"You're being difficult." I tell him.

"I'm just proving a point."

"You need to relax. I'm not going anywhere."

"Damn right you aren't." He mumbles as Dr. Dorian picks up the sling that Loki flung across the room. I hold my hand out to take it since he looks nervous to come too close to Loki. He hands it to me as his pager goes off.

"I'll come back after I take care of this. Please don't strain yourself by doing something reckless." And he runs out.

I look at Loki, who is trying to hide a smile and is staring at the ceiling like there's something very interesting up there. He looks at me when I sit up and straddle him. 

I pull the sling over his head and help slip his arm into it. He holds his other hand on my hip, keeping me in my place. He lowers his head to rest on my chest. I lean my head on top of his, breathing him in. We stay like this until we hear Dr. Dorian coming back. I quickly get off Loki and settle under his arm as Dr. Dorian comes through the curtain with a pretty blonde woman following him.

"Mr. Odinson, we need one more x-ray just to see if everything is healing correctly. If so, you're free to go! Fastest broken bone patient I've ever had. Oh, this is Dr. Reed, my colleague. She didn't believe that I had a patient who healed from injuries as major as yours in a mere few hours." He turns to her as Dr. Reed reads through Loki's chart. "So, Elliot. Pay up."

"I hate you so much right now." She says as she forks over twenty bucks.

"Thaaaank you!" He waves it around for a moment before shoving it in his pocket.

"Alright, Shirley and Barbie. Out. Leave this one alone. We do not bet on patients in front of them, it's not how we do things." A tall doctor with curly, light brown hair struts in with an ear-piercing whistle. "We wait till we are in the break room."

Loki starts laughing, catching everyone's attention. "I like him!" He says to me.

I roll my eyes and lean my head back on the pillows behind me.

"Also, I can't exactly have you on the bed with him. Normally I wouldn't care but I have people from the hospital board in to watch me today. My name is Doctor Cox, I'm the head doctor and I get to be in charge of these brainiacs behind me with their mouths hanging open." Dr. Dorian and Dr. Reed both shut their mouths simultaneously. 

"I would love to get off the bed, Dr. Cox, but I'm kinda stuck. He isn't about to let me go and if I try, I'm afraid I'll make his wounds worse."

"Want me to sedate him so you can make your escape?" I laugh and Loki scowls.

"He's not of this Realm. Almost any medication you give him will burn off really quickly. I could teleport but that will just make him get up to drag me back." 

"Hmm. Well I have to take him for an x-ray and you're not allowed to go with him so I'll let you talk amongst yourselves for a minute then I am," another loud whistle and a gesture to the door with his thumbs, "takin' him." He shepherds the other two out of the room and shuts the door behind him.

I look at Loki. "You gotta let me go. The x-ray barely takes ten minutes and Dr. Dorian said you can come home after. I will wait but you have to go without me."

"This is a terrible plan. I do not have to do anything these mortals tell me to do! I am a-"

"I swear to Odin, Loki, if you say that you are a god I will jab you in the ribs."

His eyes narrow, but he complies. "I don't see why you cannot accompany me."

"Because X-rays are taken with radiation so it would potentially affect me but you need one. Just go get it taken and I'll be waiting for you."

He sighs, "Fine. If you are not here, I will come looking for you, leaving a trail of bodies behind me."

I snort. "Of course you will. Please don't get Tony sued."

He chuckles and kisses my temple. At that moment, Dr. Cox comes back and takes Loki off in a wheelchair, even though he whines and complains about being able to walk the whole time. It takes Dr. Cox and myself ten minutes to get him to shut up and sit down but once he does, it only takes fifteen minutes for them to bring him back. Dr. Cox cleared him to go but commanded that he take it easy for a few days. I help him into his shirt, and we leave.  

When we get back to the tower, Morgan attacks his legs and asks if he would watch Frozen with her again. He sighs as though it's somehow an inconvenience but agrees.

"But first, little Stark, I must go speak with your father. He has requested my presence and I'm not one to deny it to him." He smirks.

I roll my eyes and peel her off Loki's legs. "Come on, Baby Stark. We will get the movie ready and wait for Uncle Loki to get back from tormenting your daddy."

"Torment? Noelle, darling, do you think so little of me?" 

"I do when you're in this mood." 

"What mood?" He asks, eyes glinting with mischief.

"You know what I'm talking about. Go play with Tony, I will take this little monster and we will wait to watch the movie. I know how much you love it." 

He rolls his eyes and walks off towards Tony's office. When he comes back, they watch Frozen and then colour in her new colouring book while I take down Christmas decorations.

Around dinner time, Peter arrives with pizza and Loki just attacks it.

"Thank the Norns you bought more than one." I whisper to him as we watch Loki finish the first one on his own. I whack his hand as he reaches for a piece of mine and Morgan's pizza. He glares at me and takes some of Peter's.

At about 5:15, Nat comes marching in, "Okay! Odinson and Tyrdottir, get out! Go to your apartment and don't come out. I assume you have the necessities for surviving through the night?"

Loki's eyes light up and he jumps up, grabs my hand, and pretty much runs to the elevator.

We stay in our room the rest of the night.

~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up to something tickling my ear. I wave at it to make it stop but it soon returns. I slowly realize as I grow more conscious that the tickling is my fiancè's lips moving down my ear, jaw, and neck. I lean back into him as he kisses my cheek.

"Good morning, love." He says, voice thick with sleep. Norns, I love that voice.

"Good morning." I whisper back and turn over to face him. I slide my arms around his neck and lean my forehead against his. He kisses my head, then my nose, then my lips. His movements are slow, probably because he just woke up and hasn't had any coffee.

"You had to think of coffee." He sighs as his right arm, which was around my waist, flops back. The right one had the fractured ulna but the X-ray said it was healed almost completely. It still aches but not much.

"You had to say it out loud? Now I need some." I counter and he smiles a little. I rest my head on my hand that's propped up by my elbow and look down at him. They took the stitches out before we left but he still has a small mark from where the cut was. I press my lips to the wound and he closes his eyes. I kiss down to his cheekbones and whisper in his ear, "You know what goes good with coffee?"

"Hmm?"

"Donuts." His eyes snap open. He stands up as fast as his injuries would allow and starts putting clothes on. I laugh and pick up his discarded shirt from the floor. Slipping it over my head, I grab a pair of leggings then tie the shirt up around my belly button.

Loki drags me out of the tower the second I finish tying my shoes. We walk to the donut shop just down the street hand in hand. He told me about the mission, I talked about what I did while he was gone. Basically we just catch up.

While we sit in the shop, eating our delectably decadent donuts, my phone buzzes. It's Tony.

"What is it?" Loki asks as he takes another bite.

"It's Tony. He wants to know if we are free later. He's having a little dinner party at the tower."

"I haven't got any plans. Do you?"

"You are supposed to be taking it easy."

"Look, I'm fine!" He raises his arms above his head to prove his point. "I beg of you, my angel, Noelle. Do not keep me cooped up all day."

He's so dramatic. "I guess if you're feeling better, we can go for a little while."

"Lovely." He smiles at me and pops a donut hole in his mouth.

I text Tony to tell him we will be there. The second I hit send, I start to think about it. "Wait a minute. Loki, you hate parties. Why the sudden urge to go?"

His face turns to stone and I can't read his emotions. Great. "Perhaps I just want to eat all of the Man of Iron's food. And to play with the little ones. I do like children, Noelle."

"You're avoiding the question." Then it hits me, "Does this have something to do with what you and Stark talked about yesterday?"

"I haven't a clue what you are talking about."

"Don't lie to me, I can always tell. You may be the God of Mischief and Lies but I know you better than the one who gave you that title."

"I gave myself part of that title."

"My point exactly." I pause, looking into his eyes. "What aren't you telling me?"

He sighs, looking at his food, then back at me. "Trust that it's a good thing and there is nothing to worry about. You will understand in time." His eyes are pleading. I believe him.

"Okay."

"Thank you."

"What time are we to be there?"

"Ask Stark, it is his party."

I laugh and text Tony as Loki stands up, holding my jacket out to me so I can slide my arms in. We walk back to the tower.

*5:45 pm*

"Alright, I'm ready. Are you good, Loki?"

"Yes." He comes around the corner and I see him in the mirror. He's in a green button up with black dress pants. No tie, jacket over his arm. "You look divine, darling." He takes three long strides and is behind me, hands on my hips.

"Thank you. It isn't too fancy is it?" I glance down at my purple dress. It is made of satin and has silver embellishments at the hem, stopping just above my knee.

"It's lovely. Let's go." He takes my hand and practically drags me out the door.

The elevator doors open as we reach Tony and Pepper's private duplex apartment. It is decorated with fairy lights across the ceiling and the balcony. There are tables decorated with white cloth and light purple flowers in pale green box vases. The white chairs have gold bows on the backs. Pep and Tony approach us as we walk in.

"Damn, Pep. You really know how to throw a party!"

"Well, when you work for this lunatic for 15 years, you tend to learn how to be a good event planner."

"I'd be offended but she would be correct." Tony drapes his arm around her shoulders and kisses her cheek. He then turns to Loki with a pointed look, "She is always right."

I laugh and Pepper smacks Tony's arm.

"Hey, gorgeous. You ready?" Nat struts over to me in her form-fitting black dress and red stilettos. She has a garment bag hanging over her shoulder. I cock an eyebrow at her and turn to Loki, who is crouching down to talk to Morgan.

"Ready for what?"

"I heard a little whisper about a courthouse wedding and I am not having that." Tony is grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm sorry, run that by me again? Are you telling me that this is my wedding?"

"And this is your wedding dress, now let's go!" Nat starts pulling my hand and Pep loops her arm through mine. I look back at Loki who is smirking at me. I suddenly get giddy and pretty much run up the stairs to Pepper and Tony's bedroom where the ladies help me get into the dress and work on my hair.

Loki clearly had a hand in the dress pick. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he made it while in Tony's office yesterday. It's almost a Midgardian take on an Asgardian wedding dress. It has a lace bodice, v-neck with thin beaded straps on my shoulders and flowy fabric off the shoulder. The rest of the skirt is flowy and light and reminds me of my dresses on Asgard.

Pepper hands me a black box tied with green and gold ribbon. Loki's name is in gold lettering in the corner. I cock an eyebrow at them- both women having a huge grin on their faces- and open the box. Nestled into the green silk is a gold circlet tiara with Asgardian crystal encrusted leaves and emerald droplets. I start to tear up, realizing what he is giving me. He's making me his queen.

Pepper curls my hair, pinning parts of it up and settles the crown into the curls. They decide that my makeup is good enough as it was from when I did it for the party and they announce that I'm ready.

We walk down the stairs and all the Avengers are there, quite the accomplishment actually. Loki stands next to Bucky at the front of the room, Thor standing just behind him looking like he's about to burst into tears. As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I see Tony waiting for me.

He smiles at me, offering me his arm. "How you feeling, hot stuff?

"Honestly, way more than I thought I would. I'm a little bit overwhelmed." I joke and take his arm.

He laughs and walks me down to Loki, who is just grinning like an idiot. Wanda stands on the other side of him. I reach him and Tony kisses my cheek before going to sit with his wife and daughter. Loki pulls my hands into his own. Bucky starts talking.

"Thank you all for coming. For those of you that don't know me," We all look at him, Loki snickers, "I'm not the biggest believer in real happy endings. But this isn't a therapy session. And you two are so great together, ya know?" He makes a noise and I glance at him. His eyes are slightly watery. He clears his throat and continues.  "It's like you were..." he sniffs, "made for each other."

"He's gonna cry." Wanda says with a smile.

"No, I'm not!" Buck automatically answers. Then from the back of the room, Steve starts playing his guitar. "I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!"

I grin at Loki. This is perfect. Bucky clears his throat again, "Noelle and Loki, when everyone sees you, they see true love." He pauses, "it's the best love." He rattles out, voice cracking. "Can we just, um, the rings or something?" He's trying not to cry. I want to hug my best friend, my best man, right there, the big baby.

Thor and Nat get out the rings and we take them from them. I look at Loki's ring. It's a black band with purple patterns carved in. "I don't know what to say." I whisper to him.

"All my thoughts are all jumbled, I'm not sure what to say either." He mutters back.

"You don't need vows, brother. Just say why you love each other!" Thor suggests.

"I'll go first." He takes my left hand in his, sliding the ring on. I take a moment to admire it. It is gold but doesn't connect like a normal ring. Instead it has two green emeralds on the ends. It looks like it's a vine wrapping around my finger. I start to get a little bit teary. "Noelle, darling. There are a million reasons why I love you. You make me laugh, you take care of me when I fall ill. You're sweet and caring and you make me pastries the way my mother used to when I was upset." I breathe out a laugh, "But the main reason I love you, Noelle, is you brighten my life, which was at one time a never ending black hole. You saved me, and most of all, you love me." I'm beaming at his words. His eyes are misty from the raw emotion he feels. He never thought he would get this moment.

"My turn." I say as I slip his ring on his own hand, "Loki, I love you because you're funny and you make me feel loved. You make me feel safe. You bought me a necklace for my first ball that has protected me ever since." I raise my hand to touch the necklace; I never take it off. "But the real reason I love you, Loki Odinson, is you make me happy. You make me more happy than you could possibly imagine."

My lover grins widely, letting a tear fall from his eye. I reach up to brush it away.

"LokidoyoutakeNoelletobeyourwifetohaveandtoholdfromthisdayforward-"

"Slow down, Buck."

"I can't! Foraslongasyoubothshalllive?"

"I do." I didn't know it was possible for my love to grow with just two simple words.

"NoelledoyoutskeLokitohaveandtoholdfromthisdayforwardforaslongasyoubothshalllive?"

"I do."

"Okay then!" He clears his throat one more time, "By the power vested in me by the very bitter, old man who works at the courthouse on Schermerhorn street, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

I snake my arms around his neck immediately and pull him down to me. He smirks against my lips and pulls me deeper, closer to him. There is applause around us but we don't stop for them. We stand there and kiss for a while before Tony says something that makes me laugh. I break away from him and keep one hand on his cheek as I pull Tony in to hug me. We hug everyone there (well, I do. Loki shakes hands and picks up Morgan so they can't hug him full on.)

Tony claps Loki on the back and asks Loki if he can hold onto Morgan for a bit while he goes to check on the caterers. Loki nods to him as Thor hands me a green bag with purple tissue paper. When we look inside, it's a bottle of Asgardian wine. I look at him for a moment before hugging him tightly, thanking him.

"Who wrapped this for you, Brother?" Loki asks him, patting his shoulder and pulling me away from him, an arm around my waist.

"Is it so hard to believe that I am skilled at making gifts look presentable?"

"A bit, yes."

Thor scowls and points to Morgan, who is still up in Loki's arms. She seems happy there. It's my favorite place to be so I completely understand.

"Look at you, gorgeous! You look just like your momma." I turn around to see James, my mom's boyfriend before she passed. I immediately jump into his arms and he laughs, stumbling back slightly. "You didn't think I would miss this did you? I'd never miss an event like this."

"Truth be told, James, I wasn't aware this was an event."

He laughs and lets me go to look at my face, "I was told not to say anything." He glances back at Loki.

I turn around too and glare at my husband teasingly. He smirks at me and turns his attention back to the child in his arms.

James leans down a little to whisper in my ear, "Is she yours?"

I smile, "No. She is Tony and Pepper's daughter. We are just her favorite Aunt and Uncle. Isn't that right, Morgan?" I squeeze her leg lovingly and she just nods. She's fascinated by the magic that Loki is doing for her.

"I see. Look, doll. You know I love you but I have to go. I'm really sorry, but I couldn't completely clear my schedule tonight."

"It's totally fine! The fact that you came at all means so much to me. Thank you, James." I hug him again. He holds on just as tight.

"I meant what I said, you know. You really do look just like her." And with that parting whisper, he shakes Loki's hand.

As I watch the man who loved my mother the way she deserved leave, I am struck by a brief moment of sadness. I wish she was here. Loki kisses my temple and whispers in my mind, 'She is here. They both are.' I nod and dab lightly at the tears that filled my eyes.

After around 20 more minutes of socializing with my family, Peter comes running up to me.

"Hey, Auntie Elle! There's a guy in the hallway. Mr. Bucky and Captain Rogers won't let him in but told me to come get you." I look back at Loki who looks as confused as I feel. He hands Morgan over to Pete and laces his fingers through mine.

We meet Buck and Steve in the doorway, who are standing there, shoulder to shoulder, looking menacingly at the man in the hall. I understand why the moment I see him.

"Tyr?"

"Hello, daughter."

There is a silence for a moment. Loki automatically goes into his protective defense mode and angles his body so I am slightly behind him as he moves to stand beside Bucky.

"What... why... how- how did you get here? How did you find out where I was?" I'm stumbling over my words in my shock. Why was my father here? I walk out of the door and into the hallway, Loki right behind me with Bucky and Steve flanking us. Loki tells Steve to close the doors.

"I am your father, child, you could not keep your marriage to a Prince from me."

My anger flares up. "So if I were to marry a Midgardian, you wouldn't be here? You're only here because I chose to marry the former Prince of Asgard?" Loki puts his other hand on my waist. 'We don't want to ruin that pretty dress, do we, love?' He whispers in my head.

"That is not what I meant."

"I know exactly what you meant."

"Daughter, listen to me-"

"Make me!"

"Darling-" Loki starts but I interrupt him.

"You don't give a shit about me, and you never have. Just go! I don't want you here."

"Daughter-"

"You can't even say my fucking name, Tyr. Say it! What is my name?"

"I know your name, child-"

"Then say it."

He looks at me for a moment, as though seeing if I'm being serious. "Noelle. You need to take a breath." He says.

I stare at him, the sound of my name falling from his mouth angering me. Loki immediately has me around the waist and behind Steve and Bucky.

"Look, Mister. I don't know who you are, and I don't care. You are distressing my best friend on her wedding day so I suggest you walk away before I throw you out the window." Bucky's tone is calm, conversational, but his words are aggressive.

"You stay out of this, boy. This is between my daughter and I."

"You mess with her, you face all of us." I hear from the other end of the corridor. The slightly robotic voice tells me that Tony heard my yelling and got in his suit to take care of it. "And I should warn you, hot shot. There's a lot of fire power behind that door." He raises his hand and his repulsors charge up.

My father raises his hands in defeat and disappears from where he stands. I automatically release a deep, shaky breath. Loki wraps his arms around me and rests his head on top of mine. I reach one hand out to Bucky, Steve, and Tony. "Thank you." I whisper.

Buck squeezes my hand and Steve strokes my hair once.

"Take a deep breath, Elle. Come back in so we can eat soon. It's still your party." Tony says to me and the three of them go back inside.

"Are you alright?" His voice is full of concern.

"I'm alright." I answer. I pull away to look at him and smile, raising my hand to cup his cheek. He leans into the contact and kisses my wrist, right above my tattoo of his symbol. "I love you, Loki."

"I love you, Angel." He pulls me into his chest again.

"Loki."

"Yes?"

"We are married."

I feel him grin, "Yes we are." He lifts me up and kisses me for a moment before putting me down again.

"Are you ready to go back in?" He asks. I take a deep breath and run my fingers through my hair a little before nodding.

We open the door and are met with applause. I grin and feel my cheeks heat up. Loki smiles and pulls me into a kiss, earning more cheers. He ends it first and sits me down at the table, sitting beside me. He intertwines our fingers and holds my hand under the table. After dinner, people start making speeches- Thor sobbing through his- and giving toasts.

Tony decides it's time to dance and, very graciously, plays a slow song for us first: For the Dancing and the Dreaming.

As Loki leads me to the makeshift dance floor, I ask him, "So, you're okay that I didn't change my last name?"

"Darling, believe me. I would change my name if I could."

"You can, Loki. That's a thing in Midgard. You can change your name. We should create a whole new last name!"

He smirks at me, "Loki and Noelle Allguardians."

"Loki and Noelle Skywalker."

"Loki and Noelle Fraser!"

"No, wait, I got it! Are you ready? It's pretty good, I don't know if you're prepared."

"Just tell me." He laughs.

"Loki and Noelle Friggason."

He pauses, thinking. I feel all the things he was feeling at that moment. He makes a decision.

"Loki and Noelle Friggason." He leans down to kiss me, which was met by whoops and cheers from our audience.

We pull back as the song ends and Tony, the silly man, turns on Criminal by Britney Spears. I start laughing hysterically and poor Loki just looks confused. Asgardian weddings are a calm, respectful affair the whole time. They don't have crazy receptions that play YMCA or do the stupid, creepy garter thing.

He glances at me and sees my smile, his face changing to amusement as Nat comes up behind me to dance. I turn around in Loki's arms and reach for Natasha, who gets closer to me and dances like the way we do when we go clubbing, Loki still holding my waist.

After Criminal, Tony let Peter pick a song, because he is a softy for his Spiderson, and that boy put on Baby Shark. The best part was all of us knew the dance and song because of little Morgan. We did change the words so that it's Baby Stark, but only because it made Morgan laugh and Tony flush.

After the Baby Stark song, Natasha thinks she's funny and plays Low-Key by Ally Brooke. That was an adventure in and of itself.

After that we had cupcakes because Stark pays more attention than I thought.

Loki and I sit on the couch after cupcakes, my legs in his lap, his fingers running along the soft fabric of my dress that covers my legs. Morgan sits on the other side of the couch with Peter, who watches her colour. Steve, Bucky, and Nat are sitting shoulder to shoulder opposite to us. Steve has his sketch pad in his lap and he keeps glancing at us, which tells me that he's drawing us. I don't mind, I'd love that memory. Nat and Buck, on either side of him, watch him sketch. Tony walks over to look over Steve's shoulder. He must have been done because Tony pats his shoulder and comes over to me and Loki. He has Loki and I sign the papers to make the marriage legally recognized by the state. It's official now. Afterward, he takes my hand and pulls me to the dance floor again. He plays a series of slower songs and he dances with me. I end up dancing with most of the Avengers: Tony, Steve, Bucky (twice; one slow, one fast), Thor, Peter, even Clint. It was really nice.

It isn't long before Loki claims me again. He dances with a few people (Pepper, Wanda, but mostly Morgan.) We dance to Taylor Swift's Lover, then Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince. By the time the party dies down again, it's nearing two am.

"Alright! I have one more thing to give the newlyweds before we prepare for hangovers and go to sleep." Tony shouts over the small group around us.

"Tony, you gave us a wedding, we don't need anything else." I tell him.

He smirks at me, "You may not but it's more your him than you, dear."

I cock an eyebrow at him as he hands Loki a little box. He opens it and takes the key out, slightly confused.

"You didn't think I would let you spend your honeymoon in the tower, did you?"

I gasp loudly, realizing what he did. "That's not... you wouldn't. Tones, are you being for real?"

"I'm confused, what is this?"

"That, Reindeer Games, is the key to the house on my private island." I shriek and throw my arms around Tony's neck. He hugs me tight. "The copter is waiting on the roof. You have clothes there (not that you will need them). You have 3 days. You are to be back by New Year's Eve."

Tony let's me go and Loki pretty much drags me to the roof. He helps me into the helicopter and buckles into the seat next to mine. He brings my knuckles to his lips as we take off, mouthing 'I love you' through the noise.

[immortalitylostandfound]

Okay so I’m a complete sucker for that kind of liminal PTSD-tinged grasping at unreliable memories. Would you be willing to do one with David/Michael? (I assume you’re familiar with The Lost Boys. :) I feel like your style would fit Michael’s headspace, post-movie, pretty well. Happy ending or pure angst, some smut would be great but I’m not attached to it, so long as there’s FEELS. I’ll donate $50 for a 5k fic!

Oh, am I familiar with The Lost Boys. This is too funny because I’m writing a Stranger things/Lost Boys crossover right now where Billy and Steve take a vacation and end up tangled up with the vampires of Santa Carla. It’s like, fate or somesuch.

I will most certainly write this fic for you. David/Michael is writing goals for me and I love the prompt. Thank you!

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: STRANGER THINGS 3

Stranger Things season 3 is here!!!!! Bust out your 80s nostalgia and demogorgon attitude because I fully don’t remember where we left off but Netflix kind of reminded me in a very extended recap that was definitely too long? Whatever, let’s just discuss the wigs! (AND MUCH MORE).

As with last season (and any season of TV I review) I will be adding each episode to this post and then changing my wig verdict as the season progresses. 

CHAPTER ONE: SUZIE DO YOU COPY?

We begin with two tweens making out and YUCK I really don’t want to live through this! I share this opinion with Sheriff Hopper who has to live through these make out sessions that are scored by 80s soft rock music. Even more insulting: THESE HAIRCUTS. I don’t know at what point these kids are gonna outgrow their bowlcuts but the answer seems to be a resounding: NEVER. Also Elle’s hair has finally grown out! TO THIS?!?!?! What overprocessed curly nightmare is this?! I feel like they were going for a Jennifer Grey situation but if that’s the case, I’ll be needing like 110% more hairspray and like 200% more dancing ability, please.

Anyway, the real news in town is: THERE’S A MALL NOW! It’s called Starcourt which is the most 80s sounding name ever and it is home to SCOOPS AHOY ice cream shoppe where Steve and Uma Thurman/Ethan Hawke’s daughter works. This whole storyline is incredibly Fast Times at Ridgemont High themed but Steve’s hair is still very wonderful. Also he can get all the tweens into the movie theater which is showing Day of the Dead and I get it Stranger Things: YOU ARE MAKING ALL THE 80S MALL REFERENCES. 

Also: Dustin is back from camp! It was a science camp called Camp KNOW where and I am definitely gonna see some assholes in this shirt this summer. Anyway, this storyline was all about Dustin forcing his friends into helping him with a radio tower to talk to his possibly fake girlfriend named Suzie and truly: meh.

Meanwhile: WINONA’S SEASON 3 WIG! I’ve gotta say, this season is the best season of wig for Winona. Sure, it is still very much a mess (as is she after the untimely death of her boyfriend Rudy Reuttiger!) but it’s the best wig she’s had so far so MAZEL!

Elsewhere, the most boring teen couple in America (aka Nancy and Will’s brother whose name I won’t learn) are working at the local newspaper and Nancy’s whole job seems to be fetching hamburgers for an entire room of #MeToo examples. Her hair is business chick 80s which is to say: on brand but I could use about 90% more Working Girl, please. 

And now let’s get to the only storyline I truly cared about: Nancy’s mom Karen Wheeler (aka Carla Buono). Every season, her wig brings the drama and glamour I crave in an 80s-based TV show. The arc of her wig story is truly the story of America - from 70s disco queen to bored early 80s housewife to the wig we see today - 80s mall glamour queen. AND I AM HERE FOR IT. She and the other ladies of the Hawkins Town Pool are unfortunately here for the worst character on this show: BILLY.

UGH BILLY. I will give this show major props for having his entrance to the same music playing when Phoebe Cates gets out of the pool in Fast Times (second Fast Times reference in this episode tho) but it’s a gender reversal I can definitely get behind. HOWEVER BILLY IS THE WORST. Within 2 seconds of his entrance, he fat shames a tweenager and also HAS THE WORST WIG.

Nothing has changed much from last season on this wig front. It is still very much a curly dried out MESS which is very much trying to reference Rob Lowe in St. Elmo’s Fire yet this bish has yet to wail on a saxophone or talk about granny panties so truly: no redeeming qualities here. 

This does not dissuade Carla Buono from falling under the spell of Billy’s terrible wig. To be fair, her husband is a constantly napping Reagan supporter of indeterminate middle age. Anyway, the episode ends with her getting 80s GLAMOUROUS for a latenight rendezvous with Billy at a fleabag hotel. Billy, however, is run off the road by falling/exploding rats (?) and then dragged into a dirty warehouse full of said exploding rats which truly is the fate I wanted for him and his bad rattail so: COSIGN.

CHAPTER TWO: MALL RATS

We begin with Billy in the rat-infested warehouse being very much alive, so already: I’M ANGRY WITH THIS EPISODE. However, Billy and his awful wig have definitely been through the ringer and he’s about to high-tail it out of there when he comes face to face with: HIMSELF?!?! I don’t know what sort of US crossover this is supposed to be...can we get Jordan Peele on the horn about this? Anyway, he drives out of there in his now somehow completely fine car that didn’t work about 5 minutes ago and then stops at the most bizarrely situated telephone booth literally in the middle of nowhere. I thought this might be a Bill & Ted crossover but nope: he just tries to call 911 before all the electricity bails on that plan.

In other telephone news, Mike has been shook to his core by Sheriff Hopper and tells Elle that he can’t see her and makes up some lies about his grandma. Queen on the scene/his mom Karen and her GLAMOROUS PERFECTION WIG are somehow listening in (KAREN!!!!) and she’s concerned about grandma now too. Everyone back at the pool is concerned about Billy/”Billy” (not sure if he’s the real thing or a mole person version or a possessed alien version - probably the latter) and he is straight up RUDE to Karen so definitely: EFF YOU BILLY ALWAYS. There are also a bunch of shots of the back of his nightmare wig that gave me the shivers. Oh, and he fully kidnaps the other lifeguard as a human sacrifice to a demogorgon blob so definitely: EFF YOU BILLY x100000.

This episode also introduced MAYOR CARY ELWES! This is very good casting and this whole storyline seems like an homage to Jaws so: OK! Also Sheriff Hopper asked Winona’s season 3 wig (which is still good!) on a date/nondate which she definitely didn’t attend because she had far more important lessons to learn about magnets and that’s probably the best reason to stand up a dude ever.

Elsewhere, boring couple is investigating some weird rat/fertilizer situation at an old lady’s house and basically I didn’t pay attention to this part because it was boring and it involved exploding rats so: hard pass. Nancy’s hair looked fine. Jonathan’s hair is a mess. The end.

The rest of the episode was devoted to the only kind of rats I like: MALL RATS! Over at Scoops Ahoy, my favorite bromance between Steve and Dustin was rekindled and truly it is a beautiful thing. 

However, Maya Hawke and her language skills (which are romance based, not Russian but whatever!) come into play to translate the Soviet message Dustin intercepted. They somehow translate it (SURE?) and also Maya’s hair is about as 80s as John Travolta’s 70s costumes were in 50s-set Grease. This hair is pure 2019 and you do you Stranger Things. THE DEMOGORGON’S IN THE DETAILS ALWAYS. 

Meanwhile, Mike is BUMMED about having to lie to Elle so he brings Lucas and Will along with him to the mall to...buy something for Elle to erase the lie he told her? The whole time Will kept asking when they could leave and play D&D and the whole time I wanted these boys to not have bowl cuts anymore.

In the most important storyline, Elle teamed up with Max to have a LADIES DAY AT THE MALL AND I WAS HERE FOR IT! Max does not seem like the kind of chick who is into fashion or commercialism but her overriding guidance of finding yourself through consumerism and forsaking any sad feelings about boys is just good TV. Retail therapy is great!

And I’m sorry but there is absolutely no better cinema than an 80s makeover montage to effing MATERIAL GIRL. YES PLEASE.

Elle also used her powers to prank some asshole chicks at the Orange Julius and this whole part of the show felt very Girls Just Want To Have Fun (the movie but I guess also the song) so VERY YES PLEASE.

THEY EVEN TOOK EFFING GLAMOUR SHOTS. CAN YOU EVEN?! THIS IS EVERYTHING! I don’t know who funded this amazing afternoon at the mall since Max’s parents seem like pretty absentee wrong-side-of-the-tracks types and clearly this whole mall fiasco goes against everything Sheriff Hopper stands for but whatever logic: YAY MALL!

In the end, Elle calls out Mike on his lie and DUMPS HIS ASS! GIRL POWER! MALL POWER! ICE CREAM POWER 4EVER!

CHAPTER THREE: THE CASE OF THE MISSING LIFEGUARD

My favorite bromance, Dustin and Steve, are on the hunt for Russians in the mall! This whole plot is ridiculous and wonderful. They think they’re really onto something here (and maybe they are?) and just need to find some guy with blonde hair and a duffle bag (like all Russians!) When they find someone who fits that description, he turns out to be a FABULOUS aerobics instructor and I like what everyone has done here with the gay or European? trope.

Meanwhile, Hopper comes home from being stood up with bottle of Chianti and general sense of hopelessness when everything takes a turn for the GREAT because Elle isn’t making out with Mike - she’s found a great galpal and they’re having a sleepover. Halleluj all over the place! Elle deserves a great galpal and Max is pretty awesome and can ALMOST land an ollie so I say amen. Winona’s season 3 wig (still great!) shows up and explains about magnets and then they go back to the lab and find an actual Russian (not an aerobics instructor!) but then he hightails it out of there with no other explanation other than the fact that he might be the Terminator and/or just a motorcycle enthusiast.

Anyway, Elle and Max have the best sleepover EVER by using Elle’s sensory deprivation skills to spy on the boys and truly this is the What Men Want crossover no one wanted but sure! (PS the answer is Doritos belches and farts UGH BOYS). 

Beyond that, what Will wants is to just play D&D IN THIS GODDAMNED ELEGANT CAPE, OK?! Mike and Lucas go along with it for a bit, but they are just too girl crazy to concentrate on being a nerd for long. Mike yells at Will, “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” which is interesting phraseology since the internet really wants Will to be gay and only time will tell but honey: the cape eleganza story you’re serving is pretty fabulous, just sayin! (THE DEMOGORGON’S IN THE DETAILS ALWAYS). 

Anyway, after some fun sensory deprivation visions of the guys doing stupid stuff, Elle and Max decide to invent a whole spin-the-bottle inspired game to see what other dudes in Hawkins are up to and dammit if the bottle didn’t land on my wig nemesis BILLY. Elle sees that he’s up to some pretty effed up nonsense involving kidnapping that other lifeguard so they decide to investigate IN THE RAIN.

The rest of the episode is mainly devoted to fabulous 80s raincoat fashion and I WAS HERE FOR IT. Beyond these great raincoat lewks, most of the rest of the cast also rocked some fab 80s raincoats (excepting Will who got soaked destroying his childhood fort and Steve who OF COURSE was wearing a members only jacket but jokes on him bc that rain totally dented his ‘do). 

Anyway, Elle and Max go over to the missing lifeguard’s house and OF COURSE her dad is the #1 asshole that boring couple works with (oh also they did more boring investigating which resulted in an old lady eating fertilizer. Meh). But shocker: BILLY AND HIS AWFUL WIG WERE THERE TOO.

LOOK AT THE SIDE OF THIS DAMN WIG. Truly, this wig IS the demogorgon of this season.

Anyway, double shocker: THE LIFEGUARD ALSO WAS THERE! Or I guess a possessed version of her since this plotline is getting less US and more Invasion of the Body Snatchers (no need to return my call anymore, Jordan Peele). Also possession or not, this chick’s side pony and wispy bangs are the true terrors (second only to Billy’s wig). 

Also can we talk about Billy’s mustache for a second? IT IS SO DISGUSTING. That’s all I have to say. I don’t want to look at it any further.  Also look at how dried out this wig is and this whole episode involves torrential rain. I DEMAND MORE WIG HUMIDITY DAMMIT.

Anyway, Max and Elle (smartly) hightail it out of there right before Billy and the lifeguard attack her parents for further demogorgon possessions and we get one last terrifying view of Billy’s wig. HORRIFYING.

CHAPTER FOUR: THE SAUNA TEST

So I’m really liking the whole Elle and Max vibe going along here. I also like that they weren’t dissuaded by the whole Billy being a possessed demogorgon thing to spoil their sleepover. IT CONTINUES! And not only that, Max is literally introducing  WONDER WOMAN TO ELLE. I could watch an entire episode of this also because both of their hair isn’t too offensive and they’ve both discovered scrunchies. Mazel! But of course, the guys call in a code red and they have to hightail it over there to fix everything. Ain’t it always the way, ladies?

I would like to take a moment to talk about bowl cuts. So far, I have just lumped both Will and Mike’s bowl cuts into “awful” territory as all bowl cuts are awful. However, this episode gets a lot of shots of the back of Will’s head (because the back of his neck is always sensing those goddamned demogorgons). Anyway, it became very clear in this episode just how terrible this wig is as opposed to Mike’s terrible bowl cut actual hair. I consulted the internet, and apparently the kid who plays Will CUT HIS HAIR (which he was contractually obligated NOT to do) days before shooting began and the wigmaster had to scramble and make a wig literally out of the childhood cut hair of one of her assistants. READ IT ALL HERE. Despite her hustle, this wig sucks in the way that all man wigs suck: the back taper is just all off!! And with all those closeups of Will’s neck it is VERY DISTRACTING!! Billy officially is not the only one with a terrible man wig this season. But his is still the worst!

It did hide a bit under this sweet NIAGARA FALLS hat this episode. And his oily bohunk body was hidden under this sweatshirt which was a dead giveaway to all the kids that SOMETHING WAS AMISS HERE since Billy can barely keep a shirt on at school let alone the pool. Since Will knows that demogorgons (specifically the mind flayer?) like it CHILL, everyone was all: THIS DUDE IS STRAIGHT UP POSSESSED. Great work, kids! Also honestly, this whole lewk was giving me Weekend At Bernies realness and I was here for it (since it implies that Billy is dead which I would like very much please). 

Meanwhile, Hopper’s anger management issues get PEAK BLOODY when he just beats the shit out of Cary Elwes (who is technically kind of his boss?) in demanding answers about that Terminator/motorcycle enthusiast who beat the shit out of HIM last episode. Oh, and just an FYI: Winona’s season 3 wig was along for the ride and was still looking great! I cannot say the same for Cary Elwes’s face!

Over at Scoops Ahoy, Steve and his superior wigless mane are doing some serious air duct work with the help of Lucas’s precocious sister. This whole plotline begs the question: do any of the parents of Hawkins ever know where their kids are?

Meanwhile, boring couple is on the rocks after having a really boring fight about whether it’s worse to be a woman or poor and they called it a draw I guess? Anyway, I haven’t spent much time talking about Nancy’s hair which is starting to look a little lumpy honestly and the article I read (link above) told me the bizarre fun fact that most of this hair is real and permed (duh) but that part of the undercarriage is remnants from Winona’s season 1 wig which is obviously why it looks so shitty. The more you know!

Anyway, after being fired by the #metoo boss (who is now also demogorgon possessed) for wanting to investigate why that old lady with the fertilizer eating rats is now also eating fertilizer, she turned to her mom - the one and only queen of Hawkins glamour - KAREN WHEELER. LOOK AT THIS GODDAMNED PERFECT LEWK. Mama Karen ended up giving her a very great motivational pep talk that legit made me cry (SERIOUSLY) about how she had to keep fighting and get the world out about this effed up fertilizer situation. She also delivered a sick burn about her constantly napping husband. I LOVE YOU KAREN.

Back at the town pool, all the kids concocted a Home Alone-style booby trap to get Billy into the sauna, crank up the heat, and prove that there is a heat-hating demogorgon inside him. It kind of worked except they also almost died during the battle royale between Billy’s inner demon (literal this time) and Elle. 

Also I know that I demanded wig humidity last time but this is NOT WHAT I MEANT OMG THIS WIG IS A GHOSTMARE. Anyway, Elle saved the day (duh) for now by throwing Billy through a brick wall like he was the Kool-Aid man but seems like he’s forming a demogorgon army of possessed mole people so seems like it’s gonna be one crazy summer, you guys!

CHAPTER FIVE: THE FLAYER

Straight off the bat: this was a weird episode because it included neither my least favorite wigwearer, Billy, nor (SOB) my favorite wig wearer, KAREN WHEELER. So we were left with a bunch of other randos, mainly Soviets. We begin with Winona’s season 3 wig (looking a little rough around the edges in this episode, I am sad to report) and Hopper, fresh off the info he beat out of Mayor Cary Elwes, high tailing it to some farm owned by The Terminator dude. Under his bed, they find a bunker with these two dudes in it. Good morning!

Terminator dude, obvs shows up fairly immediately and lots of yelling, guns, and machismo ensue. In the end, the Terminator is briefly subdued by a fallen bookshelf and Winona’s season 3 wig, Hopper, and one of the rando Soviets escape but not without car troubles because: of course?

After Hopper’s truck explodes, they are all forced to walk through the woods while Winona’s season 3 wig hilariously tries to ask the non-English-speaking Soviet dude about magnets. It’s all pretty silly stuff but I’m here for Winona’s season 3 wig to get some comedic scenes instead of long suffering Christmas light crying scenes.

Anyway, they find a 7-11 where a lot of product placement and caffeine takes place, as well as Hooper yelling a lot for no reason which is essentially his entire character this season. Get some anger management classes, dude! Also the rando Soviet gets a slushie so between that and Billy’s icee last episode: WHAT A TIME FOR FLAVORED ICE WATER!

My absolute favorite part of the episode came next when Hooper commandeered a sweet convertible from this yuppie asshole. I’m not sure how often police commandeer vehicles in real life but I love it when they do it in movies because it’s always taking a car from some pompous idiot who clearly doesn’t deserve to drive (see: Speed, So I Married An Axe Murderer, etc). You can’t get more pompous or idiotic than this yuppie (named Todd, of course?!) with both a popped Polo shirt AND a blazer with zhuzhed sleeves AND white pants. THE NERVE OF THIS GUY FOR EVEN EXISTING! PLEASE TAKE HIS CAR! OMG HIS LICENSE PLATE IS TDFTHR! EVERYTHING IS JUSTIFIED!

Then Hopper, Winona’s season 3 wig, and the rando Soviet drive directly to Murray’s compound in Illinois. I’m bummed we have to suffer through Murray and his existence again since I’ll never forgive him for the gross pull-out couch jokes he made about #boringcouple’s sex romp at his house but here we are. He DOES speak Russian so let’s just get through this translation. Oh and obviously the Terminator dude questioned the 7-11 clerk so he’s probably on his way to Murray’s house now, hopefully to kill him so I don’t have to suffer through any more of his gross sex jokes. 

Meanwhile, the Scoops Ahoy spy crew are still locked in that elevator they took way into the bedrock of earth/logic but somehow manage to escape when some (more!) rando Soviets come to unlock some deliveries. Then they discover the whole Soviet plan to reopen the Upside Down while also not being noticed by one single Soviet (great security, dudes!) except for this one Soviet who Steve beats up (GO STEVE!) I’d also like to say that Steve’s superior wigless mane is truly wonderful in this episode. The lights from the underground labs really bring out his summer highlights and it’s truly a thing of beauty. Uma Thurman’s daughter continues to have a 2019 beach wave blunt instagram cut not welcome in this 80s narrative please but otherwise she’s fine. 

Over with #boringcouple, they got back together I guess? Remember at the end of season 1 when we were all deeply offended that Nancy was still with Steve and NOT Will’s brother (I refuse to believe he has an actual name). How things have changed! If Steve ever took back Nancy, I would be personally DEEPLY OFFENDED so I guess it’s fine she’s just still a #boringcouple but it’s still boring you guys. Even more boring: the actors are a couple in real life and have been for years! I just found this out this week and found it DEEPLY BORING.

Anyway, #boringcouple teams up with the tween gang to solve this whole fertilizer eating mystery and Nancy totally mommed it up when she put her shitty perm back in a banana clip and told all the kids to buckle up so she could drive her parents’ wood-paneled station wagon and honestly this section felt very Adventures in Babysitting so I’ll allow it. Also Will’s bro’s hair always looks like it was cut by a weed wacker and I’m not sure if this is a comment on his socioeconomic plight but truly Winona’s season 3 wig should get her kids better haircuts please. If her wig can improve so can theirs. In any case, at the missing lifeguard’s house, they vaguely put together some blood-related clues and then decide to visit the fertilizer eating grandma in the hospital.

Only fertilizer eating grandma ain’t there, hunties! Also please return all those flowers to their vase, please. Instead, #boringcouple apologized to each other for their boring fight in an elevator and then had to fight two possessed #metoo bros from the newspaper (which was very satisfying) while Elle and Mike basically starred in an M&Ms commercial in the waiting room. I honestly was hoping that #boringcouple would get possessed too but they ended up being ok (SIGH) and the back of Will’s bowl cut wig sensed danger so I guess Elle is just gonna have to fix everything in the next episode or 3. 

CHAPTER SIX: E PLURIBUS UNUM

We begin, UGH, with #boringcouple who are still battling with (part of?) the mind flayer in the hospital and Nancy gets very Sigourney Weaver in Alien and I thought she was about to get flayed but sadly Elle saved her ass. Back at Hooper’s bunker, the whole gang is still basically relying Elle for both protection and sensory deprivation recon. Nancy gels her hair up for some reason (I hope she used DEP!) and Will keeps getting the tingles on the back of his terrible bowl cut wig. Max and Mike have a battle royale about who cares about Elle more and whether women can make their own decisions about their own telepathic powers which Nancy rightfully weighs in on (you go gurl?) But honestly, no one was protecting Elle from the real catastrophe here: WEARING CRISS CROSS SUSPENDERS THE WHOLE GODDAMNED EPISODE. Suspenders are fine and I’m glad Elle has found fashion, but maybe the kids can elect one of them as Elle’s suspenders advocate to avoid this in the future?

Meanwhile, Terminator dude still hasn’t caught up with Murray (sadly) and everyone in his bunker is still very much alive, at least until they die of lung cancer (ZING!) Anyway, Murray does a lot of Russian translation, rando Soviet dude throws a diva fit about slurpee flavors, Hopper continues his reign of anger management/alcoholism problems, and Winona’s season 3 wig is honestly not looking great. They do somehow figure out what the Russians are doing under Starcourt (they even make diagrams and use a lot of Burger King product placement to reenact nuclear scanarios!) And Hopper calls a secure line to demand backup back in Hawkins. Okay?

Back in Hawkins, Bloody Bloody Cary Elwes seems to have recovered from Hopper’s beating pretty nicely (as long as he keeps those shades on) and is very much invested in the 4th of July county fair he is PRODUCING (he even made signs crediting himself!) The Terminator dude demands answers about Hooper but no matter: JUST ENJOY THIS FAIR RIDE!

Speaking of people getting face beatings, Steve is getting absolutely SAVAGED by the Soviets. It was honestly very heartbreaking because he has somehow become the male MVP of this show, partially to do with his hair god status (EVEN WITH A BLOODY FACE HIS HAIR LOOKS SO GREAT!) but also because he’s become a really sweet guy and I just want him to catch a damn break! (Tho please continue to be broken up with Nancy - dear god!) 

We shouldn’t be too worried about him getting back together with Nancy, though, because if it wasn’t clear from the moment Uma Thurman’s daughter was introduced: THESE TWO ARE OBVS GETTING TOGETHER. Her hair is still a very 2019 distraction but she’s def an upgrade from Nancy. However, after taking some weird Soviet truth serum (probably just LSD, right?) she admits that she harbored a crush on him way back in the 10th grade and also totally undermines her cool outsider status by admitting that all losers want to be popular (I DON’T KNOW IF ALL LOSERS STAND BY THIS GURL I HOPE THIS IS JUST THE LSD TALKING!) This whole section gives a lot of Some Kind of Wonderful realness and honestly that is a lesser John Hughes work so I’m not sure I can give any of this a passing grade. However, Dustin and my new favorite sass machine, Erica save the day with a nuclear cow prod! GREAT WORK KIDS! ALSO YOUR PARENTS DEFINITELY DON’T CARE WHERE YOU ARE! Speaking of parents, yet again the glamour of KAREN WHEELER did not grace itself in this episode and we were all worse for it.

Back at Hopper’s cabin, Elle decides to go nuclear with her sensory deprivation recon and we all have to welcome BILLY (UGH BILLY) and his terrible wig back. Anyway, he pushes her further into the recesses of his memory/all logic on an astral plane that can only be described as the place where Michelle Pfeiffer was in the Ant-Man sequel (IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT HOW VERY DARE YOU). So we get a lot of terrible childhood flashbacks which try to show Billy’s abusive tendencies to be learned from his horrible upbringing and truly: DO NOT MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT BILLY.

JUST LOOK AT THIS IDIOT. NO THANK YOU PLEASE. Despite the humidity of his entire body, his wig remains a dried out hellscape that I would love to never see again for the rest of my days. Also he almost traps Elle in the astral plane they’re on JUST LIKE MICHELLE PFEIFFER IN THAT ANT-MAN MOVIE) but she escapes into the arms of Mike (fine sure) and then Billy explains that he and and his army of mole people have been waiting for Elle this whole time and: REALLY? That seems very specific but you do you, mole people. Oh also all those mole people (grandma fertilizer included!) all file into the rat warehouse and shapeshift into a disgusting mind flayer/demogorgon/blob nightmare. YAY!

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE BITE

Welcome to the Fun Fair (a Mayor Cary Elwes production!) Somehow he recovered from his terrible face beating to show some FACE at this thing. The whole town is there and ready for some 4th of July FUN that will definitely not be ruined by Russians or demogorgons. 

Most importantly, this episode gave us the triumphant return of KAREN WHEELER! HER HAIR LOOKS AMAZING! She is bringing full out bouffant glamour to the Fun Fair and damn if she didn’t have this lewk done at Dolly Parton’s salon in Steel Magnolias. IT IS THAT GOOD.  Clearly employing the “higher the hair the closer to god” theory - and not just hair-wise actually because this bish bribed some carnie to stop the ferris wheel at its highest point so that she and her family (at least the part of her family whose whereabouts she knows about) can enjoy some FIREWORKS. KAREN YOU MINX I LOVE YOU! HOW ARE YOU STILL MARRIED TO THIS DUDE IN GOLF PANTS?!

The top of the ferris wheel is also a perfect place to see the incoming demogorgon!! The back of Will’s bowl cut is getting the tingles too. And before Elle can fully explain her trip into Billy’s beach memories, the mind flayer is THERE, y’all, busting through the roof of Hopper’s cabin like it’s straight out of a 50s b-movie. I would like to note that for ONCE Winona’s house isn’t about to get trashed so mazel! #Boringcouple armed themselves with guns and axes but obvs they prove completely useless and the flayer is about to steal Elle away when they make a human chain and are victorious...FOR NOW.

Meanwhile, Dustin and Erica are dealing with a very drugged up Steve and Uma Thurman’s daughter and decide to lay low in a showing of (WHAT ELSE?): Back to the Future! They actually show so much of this movie that I’m assuming the entire wig budget went straight to Robert Zemeckis. 

Over in the TDFTHER convertible, Winona’s season 3 wig is looking a damn MESS as is all the side projection of them getting back to Indiana. There’s a lot of bickering between Winona’s season 3 wig and Hopper and finally my beloathed Murray has to meet his gross sex talk quota for the season and tells both of them to just have sex already and then he and the Soviet dude laugh a lot and OMG GET ME OUT OF THIS CONVERTIBLE.

#Boringcouple and the kids smash into a supermarket to get Elle some medical help for the leg that the flayer effed up. I’m not sure why a hospital wasn’t an option but it’s probably so there could be more 80s product placement like Mr. T cereal and a whole actual conversation about New Coke. Nancy’s hair is still VERY depped up. Max seems to have the most medical training from skateboard injuries and fixes Elle up pretty well while the dudes prove completely useless other than finding a treasure trove of fireworks. I guess most importantly, Elle was reunited with her ain’ true love: EGGOS. They hightail it out of there with a ton of fireworks that they definitely won’t (lol jk) use later. Oh and Elle’s blood kind of comes alive and Billy and his shitty wig come back to sniff her out. Gross. 

Speaking of gross, Steve and Uma’s daughter left the very confusing (for them) screening of Back to the Future to go stare at the Starcourt ceiling to the point of barfing (which I honestly did not need to see TWICE or at all!) The barf did get the LSD out of their systems so now it’s time for truth talk and LURVE TALK! I really have to hand it to Steve for being completely face beaten and bloody and covered in barf and still having enough swagger to admit to Uma’s daughter that he has feelings for her (despite her 2019 hair) and just when I thought this show was so predictable, Uma’s daughter comes out as a LESBIAN!! What? Okay! To his credit, Steve pivots pretty easily to ally/friend and truly: HE IS THE BEST AND WE DO NOT DESERVE HIM. ALSO PLEASE GET HELP ON YOUR FACE WOUNDS AND YOUR HAIR STILL LOOKS GREAT. 

NOR DO WE DESERVE THIS MUCH GLAMOUR TWICE IN ONE EPISODE. Karen Wheeler may look great but damn if she knows where her (or Winona’s season 3 wig’s) kids are. But let’s just enjoy this space ship ride! Also a rando carnie calls Hopper “Magnum” and: sick burn. Also there is a woman dressed up as Uncle Sam at the fun fair and between this drag king realness, Uma’s daughter, that one Jazzercise instructor, and (maybe/probably) Will, I’m so ready to throw a Hawkins Pride Parade. Karen is already wearing rainbow stripes!

Elsewhere at the fun fair, Alexei is having the time of his damn life winning a Woody Woodpecker with the support of 10000 children. Sadly, his joy is cut short when the Terminator dude kills him in cold blood. HARSH. Also Murray chooses to blame himself for not guarding him like he was supposed to and instead buying a corn dog. I AGREE, MURRAY: THIS IS YOUR FAULT PLEASE LEAVE. Then Hopper has a whole sequence with the Terminator dude (and some other rando Soviet baddies) in the funhouse which is the second time this season which felt like a weird homage to US and I guess I need to get Jordan Peele on the horn again about this. Anyway, Hopper gets ANOTHER face beating and so does Cary Elwes from Winona’s (also beat) season 3 wig. 

Back at the mall, Steve and company are trying to just slip out with the rest of the movie crowd from Back to the Future but the Soviets are totally onto them and it looks like they’re about to be killed when (AGAIN) Elle saves the day by throwing a Chrysler LeBaron on them. GREAT WORK! Unfortunately, Elle is also receiving a threatening phonecall from a mini demogorgon and the call is coming from: INSIDE HER LEG. 

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE BATTLE OF STARCOURT

So this demogorgon situation with Elle’s leg is pretty severe so Will’s brother (again name NOT NECESSARY) prepares for mall surgery based on stuff found at the Panda Express and literally gave her a wooden spoon to bite on as if this was happening during the Revolutionary War. The demogorgon leg removal is not working so as always, Elle just DID IT HERSELF because she may be the only capable person in this mall/town. 

Hopper and Winona’s season 3 wig (not looking great) and (UGH) Murray show up and everyone compares notes on how to fix this whole mindflayer situation. Most importantly, Erica outsasses Murray and wins. Steve (rightly) gets the keys to the TDFTHER convertible to take him, Uma’s daughter, Dustin and Erica (now known as Scoops Troop) to Dustin’s radio tower. The rest of the tweens plus #boringcouple (now known as The Griswold Family because sure) are getting sent to Murray’s bunker and can’t they maybe stop and get Elle some medical attention on the way? No matter: they’re not going anywhere because Billy, possessed or not, still knows way too much about cars and stole their damn ignition cable. DAMMIT BILLY. 

Steve is driving the Scoops Troop up a damn hill to the radio tower while listening to Jackie Wilson’s Higher and Higher which I’m sure is a Ghostbusters 2 reference and also Uma’s daughter looks exactly like her in the convertible driving part of Kill Bill and honestly all of these pop cultural references are getting tiring. Anyway, from the top of the radio tower, they can see the demogorgon closing in on the mall and Steve and Uma’s daughter hightail it back there. 

At the mall, Elle is having some trouble moving that LeBaron to get the ignition cable - she can’t even move a damn coke can. WHAT GIVES? This does beg the question: since she has literally done all the heavy lifting this season, could she maybe call in a favor from her telepathic sister in Chicago? Why did this show even introduce that character - just to check off “punks” on their 80s pop culture list (note: DEFINITELY) But seriously, it’s like when Marvel makes a stand-alone superhero movie after an Avengers movie. SOMEONE GET THAT PUNK CHICK ON THE HORN!!! Anyway, Will gets some back of bowl cut tingles and the damn demogorgon smashes through the roof. Elle, Mike, and Max make a run for it through the gap, where the demogorgon confuses a mannequin wearing Elle’s same clothing and truly: the gap would NEVER sell this graphic eleganza! Did Esprit just not want to be involved in this whole mess because that is where she would have bought that. The rest of the tense gap scene plays out basically exactly like the kitchen scene in Jurassic Park. Meanwhile, #boringcouple is doing boring auto work while Billy just endlessly stalls in his evilmobile but is about to hit them when MVP hair god Steve saves the day and everyone piles into the station wagon. YAY!

Elsewhere, the Terminator dude has made it to the Soviet subbasement where Hooper, Winona’s season 3 wig and (UGH) Murray are now in Soviet apparel. Winona’s season 3 wig (looking great hidden under that hat) and Hopper have a nice talk and make plans for a legit date which definitely won’t be derailed by a demogorgon (lol jk jk). Murray manages to infiltrate the room where all the wires control the nuclear weapon the Soviets are using to open up the Upside Down and why wasn’t this room better guarded? Oh well. Much like sucking at guarding Soviets and not buying corndogs, Murray sucks at remembering important numbers which are the combination for the nuclear keys. 

Of course the code is some nerdy equation that requires Dustin to ask fellow nerd (and girlfriend Suzie who exists!) for help. But not before Suzie demands that Dustin sing....The Neverending Story theme song. This is peak 80s cultural reference and we can all go home now. Also it is mainly an excuse for Galen Matarazzo to sing and sure: he and this chick sound great! Now please get those damn keys! 

Elle,  Max and Mike are confronted with (unfortunately still alive) Billy who beats the shit out of all of them and takes Elle. She’s about to get flayed when Lucas and Will throw all those damn fireworks on the demogorgon. Sure!  Elle uses Billy’s memories to reason with him. This show definitely wants us to root for Billy all of a sudden because he turns on the demogorgon but I REFUSE TO LIKE BILLY WITH THAT DRIED OUT WIG IN THIS SWEATY MALL. 

   Back in the subbasement, Winona’s season 3 wig and Hopper are ready to end this but the Terminator dude shows up. They duke it out very close to a nuclear warhead while Winona’s season 3 wig turns into MacGuyver and uses a belt to try to disarm both keys and bless her. Hopper throws the Terminator into nuclear generator thingie. Byeeeeee. Then Hopper looks back at Winona’s season 3 wig for long enough to definitely make it back into the safe glass room where she is but instead just gives a really long nod, signalling her to disarm the nuclear whatever thing and he definitely (absolutely does not) die. 

However, all my hopes and dreams for Billy’s death finally came true! YAY FOR ME AND MY HATRED OF HIS TERRIBLE WIG AND HIS CHARACTER WHICH HAD NO REDEEMING QUALITIES NO MATTER HOW MANY BEACH FLASHBACKS TRIED TO PROVE OTHERWISE. I will say that his exit is VERY METAL so in some ways, this was the only appropriate death for his Metallica and Tank loving character. FINE. Two seconds after he and the demogorgon die, the feds show up with Paul Reiser! I am honestly very mad at this show for not blasting Pat Benatar’s Little Too Late during this entire sequence. OH WELL. Outside the mall Winona’s season 3 wig and Will’s terrible bowl cut wig are reunited in a bad wig hug. Then Winona’s season 3 wig catches sight of Elle and gives her a look that says: I am definitely adopting you.

Three months later, a fake Inside Edition show gets us up to date on the burning of the mall, government coverups, and comeuppance of terrible mayor Cary Elwes. Also Uma’s daughter (now with 80s appropriate updo!) and Steve are trying to get jobs at the video store! Uma’s daughter and her love of Billy Wilder movies make her a shoe-in for the job but Steve's taste in the Ewok Star Wars movie and the 5 minutes he saw of Back To the Future whilst on LSD don’t make him the best candidate. Also he trips over a Phoebe Cates cut-out and truly Phoebe Cates: thank you for your service in being name-checked constantly this season. In the end, Steve’s awesome hair gets him the job. Maybe? 

Meanwhile, Winona’s season 3 wig is moving just like she said she was going to this whole season and no one believed her. Also she put her wig back in a ponytail and: good move it looks ok! Elle still doesn’t have her powers back but eh? She does get a heart-tugging letter from beyond the grave (he’s totally still alive) and all the kids/tweens/#boringcouple sob that they are being separated. It isn’t clear where Winona’s season 3 wig is going or how she could have sold her shitty house in the town that fake Inside Edition show called haunted. And yes, separating her now 3 PTSD kids from their only support group is also shitty but what has this goddamned town ever done for Winona and any of her seasons’ wigs other than stealing her children and killing her love interests and trashing that shitty house at least twice?! I SAY GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE (they will fully be back next season). 

After collectively sobbing all their faces off, the tweens of Hawkins are left only with the ELEGANZA OF KAREN WHEELER and whatever healthy dinner she’s preparing with the help of some white wine. YOU KIDS ARE STILL LUCKY WHO NEEDS FRIENDS WHEN YOU HAVE KAREN WHEELER! Oh and back in Russia, Hopper is like 110% definitely still alive. See y’all next season!

FINAL VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ (YOU KNOW IT WAS BILLY’S FAULT)

[manyfandomocs]

🖼 + Steve x Carla

Found this buried in my inbox wow

Steve’s of Carla

Carla’s of Steve

Send me a 🖼 + a ship and I’ll tell you what pictures of each other they’d keep in their wallets

[its-fun-to-be-a-vampire]

Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Lost Boys (Movies), The Outsiders - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Johnny Cade/Ponyboy Curtis, Marko/Paul (Lost Boys) Characters: Johnny Cade, Ponyboy Curtis, Dallas Winston, Darrel Curtis, Sodapop Curtis, Two-Bit Mathews, Steve Randle, Alan Frog, Edgar Frog, David (Lost Boys), Star (Lost Boys), Dwayne (Lost Boys), Paul (Lost Boys), Laddie Thompson, Marko (Lost Boys) Additional Tags: Crossover, continued from wattpad, Vampires Summary:

The greasers win a trip of a lifetime to the seaside town of Santa Carla, known by the locals as the "Murder Capital of the World". However, when Dally goes missing on the boardwalk, they all find out the town's dark secret.

Hey! I’ve finally moved to AO3, so that means The Lost Outsiders is moving too!

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

Crossover Masterlist Update

sooo trying to organize what I need to do for my crossover masterlist update but I'm overwhelmed & struggling to keep track. This is the list I've got right now of crossovers that I need to add to the masterlist but please lmk which ones I'm missing – to keep it manageable, I'm only adding crossovers that have a bit of development / have been talked about but of course I'm happy to talk about more too

[ here is the masterlist ]

@the-witching-ash

Descendants

Fabian x Ace

Fabian x Lawson

Fabian & Honey

Edmund x Ace

Edmund x Cosette

Edmund x Anissa

Fabian x Cosette

Raphael x Cosette

Almeria x Helena x Queenie

Glee

Henry x Sadie

Henry x May

Henry & Kath

Henry & Joy

Andrew x Carla

Andrew x/& Kath

Andrew & Oz

Andrew & Cece

Andrew & Aurora

Andrew x Betty x Mac

Andrew x Kirsty

Andrew x/& Cole

Elphie & Carla

Billy x Cole

Mary x Mimi

Gilmore Girls

Grace x Vicki

Floyd x Vicki

Eileen x Vicki

Vance x Emmeline

Grace & Amanda

Simon x Kirsty

Simon x Amanda

Richie x Maisie

Richie x Emmeline

Richie x Allie

Hunger Games

Raymond x Callisto

Raymond x Apollo

Raymond x Amor

Raymond x Jude

Raymond x Lacey x Finnick

Triton x Apollo

Triton x Athena

Triton x Ares

Triton x Honoria

Triton x Cadmus

@cecexwrites

Descendants

Quinn x Ace

Ismene x Ace

Ismene x Cosette

Quinn x Cosette

Aleks x Cosette

Gossip Girl

Finn & Evie

Tinsley & Evie

Covey & Theo

Finn & Theo

Tinsley & Theo

Mimi & Coco

Covey & Nolan

Covey & Rhys

Sebastian & Coco

Cordelia & Alex

Cordelia & Kingston

@manyfandomocs

Descendants

Gabe & Cosette

Gabe & Killian

Stephen x Cosette

Brendan x Grier

Brendan x Cosette

Brendan x Melia

Glee

Ashton x Cole

Steve & Tegan

Gossip Girl

Wesley x Kyla

Darcy x Clara

Darcy x Rhys

Hunger Games

Deryn x Bellona

Deryn x Marisol

Deryn x Apollo

Deryn x Athena

Deryn x Ares

Misc

Vincent & Mercy

Troy & Campbell

@ginevrastilinski-ocs

Descendants

Jax x Cosette

Jax x Gloria

Glee

Betty & Kipp

Benjamin x Carla

Hunger Games

Callie & Lacey

Callie & Alton

DC

Lucian x/& Kinsley

Jericho & Sarina

Misc

Ethan x Haven

@ocmerunaway

Kass & Clarissa

Boy x Honoria

[occasional-ghost]

Niche + Henry?

an ask game ft niche questions i don’t see v often

send me a character and i’ll tell you...

a song that reminds me of them:

what they smell like

an otp: n/a

a notp: Henry/Rachel

favorite platonic/familial relationships: Finn, s4/5 newbies, Britney.

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: n/a

the position they sleep in: on his side, usually with his headphones on. (Either because he just needs the music to sleep or it’s drowning out Will & Terri.)

a crossover au i’d love to see them in: Carla Carla Carla 🥺

Sadie, May, Kath, Jeremy, Joy, Josie, Josh, Amelie, Roman, etc.

@manyfandomocs Steve

my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn: Jesse’s solo competition!

[mymelancholiesblues]

You still doing that fandom thing? Resident Evil for 001, Natasha Romanov for 003

Resident Evil

– Favourite character: This is such a hard question for this particular fandom? I mean, Leon is without a doubt my favourite male character, but I can’t decide between Jill and Ada as my favourite female one. Guess it’s a tie;

– Least favourite character: Steve Burnside. I just… can’t sympathize with him and don’t care about him, sorry;

– 5 favourite ships (canon or non-canon): Leon/Ada, Billy/Rebecca, Carlos/Jill, Jake/Sherry, and William/Albert;

– Character I find most attractive: Big surprise to no-one, but… Leon, of course. And, by the way, my forever headcanon for the live-action actor who’d be perfect to play him is Josh Holloway;

– Character I would marry: Jill. She has that soothing demeanour that just assures you she’ll be supportive and understanding when you need her to, but she’ll also be firm when the times call for it;

– Character I would be best friends with: Probably Claire (since she reminds me of @gatesofdelirium​) and Rebecca (since she reminds me of @madamoftime​);

– A random thought: This franchise would really benefit a lot from developers stopping to try to comply with fandom’s every whim. And also: started retiring some characters – it’s been long enough, stop milking them and let them have their deserved resolutions;

– An unpopular opinion: I can’t stand RE7 as a Resident Evil franchise entry. I mean, sure, it’s a great horror game, but it’s not a good RE. I feel like it was Capcom’s desperate attempt in trying to please those nostalgic whining purist fans – and they even went as far as hiring an American guy to write the script for it and it’s just… like… no. I’ll have my Resident Evil with all the vices and virtues the eastern Asian storytelling has, with all the characters I already care about. If there’s a reboot coming, then at least solve all the established characters arcs once and for all. I don’t want to know about any Ethan before seeing how Leon’s story ended;

– My canon OTP: Aeon. Possibly one of the ships I’m emotionally invested in most in my life;

– My non-canon OTP: Billy/Becca. Bickering but soft babies. I ship them ever since I was twelve and funny thing, but my name is Rebecca and by the time I was 19 I fell in love with Guilherme – which is the Portuguese variant name derived from William, so… Billy/Becca hahaahaha;

– Most badass character: Claire Redfield. My bravest, boldest daughter;

– Most epic villain: Albert Wesker… But that’s Hors-Concours tbqh;

– Pairing I am not a fan of: It’s a tie between Steve/Claire and Chris/Jill. Though I do have to recognize V*alenfield’s merit: they have a bit of chemistry and they did share some strong shippy moments. But they… I don’t know, I can’t feel the appeal. I think Capcom lost the right timing (that timing being RE5) in delivering their canon status and now it feels off somehow, “overdue”… Plus, that Jun Takeuchi’s interview where he states that they’re just brothers in arms/partners – it felt like a cold shower upon any hopes I had in rooting for them to be a couple. In retrospect, I think I always preferred Jill’s dynamic with Carlos, to be honest. Now, about Cl*eve/Burnfiel*d… With all due respect to their shippers, it’s not my cup of tea. I think my ideal scenario for a Claire romantic subplot would be with a character similar to Piers or maybe one similar to Sheva (yes, Claire is totally bi, don’t @ me);

– Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): It definitely has to be Carla Radames. Goddammit, Capcom, that arc deserved more effort in the writing department;

– Favourite friendship: Leon and Helena. They have that best-buddies-for-life energy where you can picture them karaoking together with slurring voice, completely wasted;

– Character I most identify with: Sherry. Of course I was never victim to a series of experiments by the hands of the U.S. government, but I have my baggage in feeling isolated and abandoned by the ones that should care for you the most and put you above all else;

– Character I wish I could be: Jill! My sweetheart!

Natasha (Marvel 616)

– How I feel about this character: I used to dislike her when I was a child, but since my teenage years I’ve grown past that, and nowadays I love buying her comics. I like her character design, the main idea behind her construction, her role in the Avengers, etc.;

– Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: In 616 I ship her with Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier (primarily), and with Matt Murdock, the Daredevil. I also ship her with Clint Barton (Hawkeye) in the MCU;

– My favourite non-romantic relationship for this character: Maria Hill. That sisters-in-arms vibe: too good;

– My unpopular opinion about this character: I’m not really interested in weaponized femininity for this character, so I appreciate when writers avoid it;

– One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Marvel exploring her background without the “the Soviet Union is bad” propaganda lens;

– Favourite friendship for this character: Isaiah Ross. I love to think he still feeds her cat and takes care of her in any way he can;

– My crossover ship: Hmmm… I’m not very much into crossover ships, so this is a question that I’ll rarely answer in the affirmative.