#cuz he does like order and routine and stuff

[cesium-sheep]

she was intentionally asking me again about how I would approach something at her work (which is great, both validating and entertaining), I made a passing comment about how unfortunately neurotypicals are stupid. he acted fake-affronted, I waved him off saying "you're not neurotypical." he was like "other than depression and anxiety and ocd what are you talking about?"

so after I was done talking to her I told him "I'm not a licensed diagnostician, but I don't think you have ocd, I think you're just autistic."

the first words out of his mouth when she called him were "do you think I'm more ocd or autistic?"

so. that's something at least lol

[luffyvace]

what the Strawhats would watch on YT 🏴‍☠️

Cuz I think it’d be funny

(No gifs but they’re a decent length since it’s only one crew—may or may not do a WBP version 🤗..)

Luffy:

watches boxing

He just likes it idk why- ik it’s oddly specific but I feel like he’d be into the adrenaline rush of it yk?

OF COURSE has a crap ton of food on his feed 😭 (he follows Sanji’s cooking channel 💞)

some music but not really, mostly party music for when he throws parties yk? 🤪 (I feel like modern Luffy would throw random house parties for no reason- and invite his friends)

super impatient with ads (he doesn’t like it interrupting his stuuuuuff 😩)

occasionally watches soccer as well

I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this but he also likes video games! Watches gameplays and skips over the storyline for the action

would watch random animated shows but not necessarily for little kids yk? Just funny animated skits (but they have to be fast paced and actually funny or he’s not interested 😁)

watches yt shorts a lot, feeds into his short attention span (likes it better than TikTok)

Zoro:

work out vids.

debates in the comments on what strengthens/creates more muscle

always wins the arguments (has a lot of knowledge abt working out)

prob watched one motorcycle vid and now they won’t stop showing up on his home page

he’s tired of the motorcycle vids 😭

wants his gym work out hardcore routine home page back 🫤

would run his own yt page about gaining muscle n’ such but doesn’t care enough + doesn’t have time for the trolls and know it all’s (bro you ARE ONE..? 🤨🤦‍♀️)

blocked Sanji’s cooking channel after disliking all his videos

Nami:

fashion tips n tricks

”this or that” outfit edition on yt shorts

heavily criticizes each outfit and scrunches her face at the ugly ones (they’re not ugly just not to her taste)

doesn’t ever actually comment, even if she likes it

rarely likes too- actually, 😀 mostly just watches it and moves on, and there’s like nothing other than a few fashion haul and “where to shop for cute clothes” vids in her “watch later”

only watches them once, then deletes them, it pretty much stays empty

usually the vids she watches are around 5 mins, she doesn’t have a short attention span but she feels like vids that are hours long are a waste of time if it isn’t a music playlist

speaking of which she has a lot of light/catchy music playlists saved (Tyler the creator, kali uchis, laufey sometimes)

Usopp:

lots of inventions and creations, etc

used to watch life hacks/diy vids til it came out everyone found them cringe 😆👊💥

now he watches how to make stuff out of random car parts/tables- wtv! yk?

also some gamers :)

likes Minecraft a lot. He watches the “pro builders” thinks: I can do that easy! Tries, miserably fails, then rages quits (to continue watching the pros again). In that order.

watches prank vids

him and Nami share playlists/recommends each other songs so he has a whole bunch of music playlists she created for him (she forces him to watch and give opinions on the playlist right when she sends them. And if he takes over an hour she’ll charge him for making her wait)

He’s the one who got Nami into Tyler the creator

loves supporting Sanji’s cooking channel and likes/comments on all his vids. Actually takes his advice and has tried cooking a few of his dishes as his dinner and it actually worked out?! 😲

Sanji:

Has a cooking channel with 34.5k subscribers and an average of 50k views named ‘Cooking with Crap Cook’

Tries to Makes himself look like a “seductive waiter” in yt shorts (for the ladies)

does really good replying to questions/comments, open to suggestions/requests of what to make a cooking tut on and has actually traveled a bit with the money yt gives him! Takes the opportunity to cook in different places :)

cooks in public sometimes, occasionally someone recognizes him! ‘Wait are you the crap cook?!’

spoils Nami and Robin with the money he makes

Responds to women a little more happily than he does men (but realistically what else are we expecting?-)

his vids usually have a lot of cuts (Luffy, Usopp and Chopper came over uninvited for food and are TOTALLY trying to keep quiet while playing as Sanji makes a video) and are typically around 7-10 minutes

swoons whenever he sees Nami or Robin liked his video (has a nosebleed when they comment 😅⁉️)

has Zoro blocked despite the fact that he doesn’t post

Chopper:

has thought about posting health/medicine tips but is a bit insecure about what other will think + he’s camera shy

Zoro and Sanji try to encourage him by saying things like “just hurry up and do it already so I can incorporate your tips in my work out routine” and “there’s no need to be scared, I’ll help you out if you need”

still hasn’t pulled the trigger yet

for now he just follows other doctors and some gamers too

Luffy and Usopp put him on gaming

likes “Octodad” (LOL 😂💖)

doesn’t actually watch yt all that much, mostly when Usopp and Luffy do- but on they’re iPads instead of his

they mostly go on his when theirs runs out of battery, but they don’t stay on long since it just has a lot of medial advice on there 😀😅

prefers playing with Usopp and Luffy over his ipad

Robin:

(Long) informational vids and documentaries (mostly abt history)

also likes animal documentaries

follows other archaeologists

corrects anyone who’s wrong in any video she watches and is always right + wins the argument (has the most unintentionally funny comebacks ever 😂)

Follows Sanji and is pretty supportive, likes his vids and occasionally comments (more than Nami anyway..) whenever she sees his videos on her homepage

also encourages Chopper to start his channel and made him promise she would be the first follower/to know if he decided to finally do it

doesn’t spend much time on yt unless she has a lot of free time, and even then she prefers to read or spend time with friends

Always snuggled up in a blanket, drinking tea, watching animal planet’s yt channel on the tv when she does watch

has contemplated starting a informational channel but has never told anyone. Ultimately decided not to since she’s not on yt much and she’s too busy anyway.

Franky:

random inventions n such, like Usopp

still watches life hacks without any shame—genuinely uses some

also watches random vids, usually funny stuff- sends it to Robin (who always responds with ‘👍’ ……..(🗿😂)

Already knows how to build a lot of things from Tom- still goes to yt anyway and learns to build random stuff for fun

not on here often either, mostly when he’s bored

has a few gamers on his homepage because Luffy, Usopp and Chopper got him to watch a few vids he found funny (+ they steal his iPad to watch his yt when all 3 of theirs run out of battery)

always forgets to charge his iPad because he’s hardly on there and the one time he needed it for a yt vid to remind him how build smth it was dead 🙂

Follows Sanji’s cooking channel- always forgets to like his vids when he sends them to the group chat (also follows Robin even tho she doesn’t post)

Brook:

women..

not exactly inappropriate stuff but he does follow a lot of girl content creators so it looks like he’s just into fashion but he’s actually just following for them 😭 (the disappointment)

At least he also follows Sanji! (🤦‍♀️) forgets to like his vids tho- there’s so many women on his homepage that Sanji’s vids don’t even come down his feed

Also follows Nami and Robin

hardly on yt, prefers to play his instruments 🤷‍♀️

speaking of which he also follows a lot of music artists, mostly older ones from his time (HAHAHAHA)

Usopp and Nami force him to listen to today’s artists and he likes a few- but grandpa sticks to what he’s knows for the most part 😊

(Nami has Brook blocked)

Jinbei:

Follows Sanji but is Vegetarian so he doesn’t like any of his meat/fish recipes- same w chopper I forgot to mention that (😀)

Follows everyone (idek why)

mostly watches vegetarian cooking shows/recipes

Requests for Sanji to do a lot of vegetarian recipes (sometimes Sanji does them if enough women are backing him- 🤦‍♀️🗿 other times he ignores him……🙂👊💥)

also follows karate channels/masters n stuff

doesn’t criticize per say but does cringe a bit when they give bad advice

has better things to do then waste his life away on yt so he’s another one that’s not on here much..

would make a (fishman) karate channel if he cared enough- but he doesn’t :P 🤷‍♀️ (Zoro would’ve followed him)

[the-kr8tor]

Headcanons? Headcanons!

I never did Headcanons, but let’s see how it goes

-He totally inhales his food, like yk Kirby? That’s him. And plus he never gets bloated or sick! It almost feels like he got some hammerspace in his stomach, bc after eating 3gallons of food he is still that damn stickbug with abs and stuff (does he even have a sixpack? I dunno.)

-He is so TENDER HEADED. You can’t braid his hair without him whining or hissing or whatever thing he does (me)

-Def forces you to do his braids or hair in general when he wants and needs to, and if you can’t? Well too bad cuz you now have to watch 300 tutorial videos while the angle is so weird that you can’t see anything. Your hands are slowly getting sore while you’re doing his hair step by step, squinting your eyes in order to figure out what needs to be done. You are def getting irritated because of those ‘tutorials’ that when Hobie hisses at A BIT OF TENSION you want to smack his head.

-Due to his hair, he probably has like a 100 step hair routine with a cute pink silk bonnet (it def has a sweet bow)

-Probably has either thousands allergies or is lactose intolerant (still drinks milk and eats mac and cheese (not billie and ramona⁉️) and says that he doesn’t believe in being allergic to smt)

-HE HATES TEA!!! I feel like he and Ekko would come along so good, cuz they just don’t like tea (the only exception is when Mayday/ or Billie and Ramona play tea time with pink tutus and tiaras (pinkies are def sticking out and not touching the cup❗️))

-At home he’s either a princess or the most ‘homeless’ person ever, sometimes his boat can be so dirty as if he never heard of cleaning or smt. And yet sometimes he can be such a spoiled princess like srs, I see him walking in his soft pink bonnet and a flowy robe, scrunching his face in a disgusted expression when he sees a BIT OF DUST 🤏 or when he sees a fly and he just did his skin care.

“babeee, kill it!!” *whining voice*

“Why can’t you do it yourself?”

“I just did my skincare! I can’t do it, I will break out again!!” AND YET HE NEVER GETS ACNE 🫵

-sometimes you gotta ask yourself who the passenger princess is in the relationship, bc while he is wearing pink and silk pyjamas, you are def wearing an oversized punk shirt of his with his boxers or smt

YEESS MORE HEADCANONS

Oh he has a six pack! Source: me, I saw it believe me

When I read tender headed all i saw in my head is that one baby doll meme where its head is caved in 😭😂🤣

Oh I'd gladly learn how to do his hair!

Lol I also think he's lactose intolerant! Not b and r!

GASP! A BRITISH MAN WHO HATES TEA?! HOW SACRILEGIOUS!

I wanna be his passenger princess tho 😍

[localcryptidinthewoods]

rockstar au !!

hotel room / sleeping edition!

@that-one-i-think has already said who bunks w who and it makes sm sense, imma just repeat it (plus add info) incase you have not seen that whole thread of reblogs

irene & shad room together unless their on a break, in which shad will go with menphia and irene will go with kul’zak.

irene always demands the best hotel room with the best room and view, and will annoy the others to switch with her if the one she got originally didnt match what she wanted. she has a 30 step skin + hair care routine, and has done that one trend of the “i cant do nights” of her post routine (she does so much and too much in order to avoid aging and keep her hair perfect). you would think irene would be a pretty sleeper because of how she acts but i think she sleeps like a truck just hit her. sprawled out all over the bed, blankets on the floor and everything. her side of the room is a mess cuz shes the kinda person who throws her whole closet on the floor trying to figure out an outfit.

shads kinda the opposite, he could care less if the hotel room is nice aslong as it has a half decent bed. has a skin + hair routine mostly because irene forces him to do it, its just not as intense as her. hes the pretty sleeper in that relationship, he sleeps like a pretty princess which is very funny bc dudes buff, covered in tattoos and has a death glare that could kill. i think hes a big cuddlebug when hes sleeping. i think hes also the type of guy to check that the doors actually locked 30 times and that theres no secret cameras before being able to sleep. his side of the room is pretty clean other than shoes being scattered around.

menphia & enki room together, they arent particularly picky with rooms, they just need one with a good ac system bc menphia runs hot. their room is ussaly the messiest along side irenes due to the same reasons, exept both of em do it. the two of them also spend 80% of the night gossiping and talking shit about others with one another.

menphia has a normal skin care routine but a heavy hair care routine. i think she dyes her hair a lot but wants to do the best she can to maintain it healthy + her hair is really really thick so its just extra work all around. shes the type of person who steals stuff from hotel rooms ranging from the toiletries to pillows to one time she stole the ironing thing some hotels offer bc they lost theirs and needed a new one. has probably set off the sprinklers in a hotel, how? idk yet but its happened. menphia sleeps curled up like a cat (mostly bc i’ve been headcanoning her as a meif’wa) and tends to purr in her sleep / in order to fall asleep

when irene & shad are on break / arguing, her and shad share rooms and when they do jesus fucking christ is it loud. they’ve almost gotten kicked out of hotels n motels because of it. the two just have an emo reunion. menphia lets shad rant about irene to her cuz she knows that he dosent really get to talk about it very often and that it helps him when he does.

enki has a normal skin care + hair care routine, just the basics. i think their pretty lucky when it comes to that area so they dont have to do a lot. enkis def the person who goes out for vending machine drinks & snacks in the middle of the night when they cant sleep tho and almost always wake up menphia whenever shes sleeping when trying to get back in no matter how quiet he walks in just cuz menphias a lightish sleeper. enki snores but its not annoying, its more like soft snoring. i think enkis a side sleeper who forces herself to sleep on her back but he always ends up on their side bc comfy.

when menphia rooms w shad, enki is stuck rooming with esmund. it’s ok, esmunds a really nice roommate its just…awkward? i suppose? they dont have a lot in common that their aware of other than the band. the night is spent with them both going to bed early after talking small talk for a little bit. so yeah awkward nights.

speaking of esmund, esmund and kul’zak room with one another. their room is the cleanest by far. kul’zaks side is a little messy but its mostly blankets on the floor n what not. the two of them talk about everything and anything, from The Divine band to their own little two person band Lament, they talk about new songs to write and old songs, they talk about the past and their futures and what they want to do with it.

esmund has the basic skincare + hair care, nothing extra other than what you need. i dont think he worries about that kind of stuff too much, but irene is always trying to get him to buy more products n what not. i dont think esmund uses a lot of blankets when sleeping, one at most, just bc he dosent get cold easily yk. i think he sleeps on his back cuz comfy, and i think he snores too much like enki. i think esmund is the kind of guy to always make his bed in the mornings and kul’zak tells him its fine that he dosent have to but esmund is just like: its the polite thing to do !!!!

kul’zak is part of the 15 step hair care routine club, i think this man has beautiful curly hair that he takes care of extremely well. his skin care is normal but his hair care is extra just like irenes is. kul’zak is a side sleeper for sure, curled up too. very comfy. he has to sleep with 5 blankets and 6 pillows otherwise he cannot sleep. only exeption to this rule is if hes sharing a bed with esmund.

kul’zak is the one that rooms with irene whenever her and shad r on a break. he lisents to her rant and go on her angry tangents which turn into frustrated tears and her yelling into a pillow while smiling and nodding. i feel like irene & kul’zaks nights either go with him nodding qnd smiling while she rants or the two of them having a really deep conversation about a situation, one or the other and its ussally the former. since irene sleeps like a truck hit her he’s ussally able to sneak out and see the others before going to bed himself.

[the-firebird69]

Nationwide Anti-Trump Protest Planned for April 19—What to Know https://search.app/v97Lm

Shared via the Google App

Yeah this is Mary quimby I want you out of office no mayor quimby and it's really so I can be an office I think you're a jerk and tell me if it's a jerk and he's not the VP and is there as himself and he does my routine a little and I'll pay what he's doing some stuff that are not it's not very nice and my people are in trouble and I told him to stop doing it and he's not now he's out there attacking you and you are a solid loser just like you were in westborough and people hated you it didn't want to be associated with you because of your very white skin and your pill complexion and your effeminate ways now you are a Hawking loser that's what they're saying you're a massive horking loser and a gay boy. And we if nobody can stand you and what are you doing putting tariffs on everything trying to shut down portions of the government I can't believe you're doing all this s*** and kind of in my name I'm not there to defend myself Jesus Christ this is hell and I have I was there for like one month and you started writing all these executive orders and I couldn't get you to stop and Tommy f stepped in and said that's fine and I got nudged out and it was the movie The Manchurian candidate it it happened that stupid movie happened exactly the way you see I'm looking around and I'm trying to break the spell and he's trying to help and he says wow it's coming out just like the movie so I'm going to flip the bird and you don't see that that's one thing I changed but really this is awful and he thinks you die so he I wanted to put that up cuz you're such a prick and you're all done

Dan dave I don't think that's me in Terminator Genesis by the way

It looks like you and sounds like you it looks like you fighting me and we don't know what happened to cheesman's now we think we know what happened to him and he died it's quite gone and he was out and for the little stomach problem I remember what he was doing to our friend here you said the stomach problems going to get rid of him and I'm going to grab it and stuff like that he was relentless and he's threatening him with getting burned and he has something to do with Arnie going missing or worse people don't think so but I think so

Trump

I do declare after that and do a bunch of movies and you're not neo that's my character. And you die as the guy in terminated Genesis because you're not a good guy but he says that he is John Connor in the first movie and I'm the Terminator and it looks like him a little bit but I have a character that looks like that but no he sounds like that so that makes sense I get crushed a little bit and brain is not really huge though. And you see a different kid in the other movies it does look like me and John remillard is being a nice guy and we're fighting John Gallagher so then you go on and it is one of us as Russian guy so which one well I have this pops there's pops and actually that seems like my character and there is the Russian John Connor version and ignores everything and acts like Dave did so we are going to look and see

Terry c

Olympus

[lorylilybomber]

Sigh and the post started off so strong, too….

Look: I have a lot to say here, so click the read more of you want. TL;DR:

It doesn’t matter how ignorant or awful someone seems to be. They are trying to be good. That is common ground—yeah, even with the person you hate.

Understanding how that person is good, or is trying to be good or achieve good, is crucial for healthy minds, society, and activism.

Understanding does not mean justification. You can understand someone with true compassion and still disagree with them.

Making friends with people you disagree with (and genuinely liking them) is healthy, necessary for true growth, and the best chance you have at changing minds.

If you don’t, and/or you condemn others for doing so, you’re practicing classification, dehumanization, and polarization. If you don’t know why that’s bad, google those three words together.

Honestly though; listen.

When I was in high school I had more binary views that I had inherited from my parents. I had friends who were on the opposite side of the political spectrum—by which I mean their parents had opposite views that they passed on to their kids, because we were all kids and we mainly cared about school and superwholock back then—but while I loved to talk politics and history, I didn’t really critically reflect on those views. UNTIL, I met a friend who ALSO loved politics and history, but DISAGREED with me on almost every meaningful issue of the day.

He was also the nicest fucking person I had ever met. He made little origami animals and left them on your desk or in a pencil case if he thought you were having a bad day. He had a buzz cut but carried a pocketful of hairbands for friends with long hair in case theirs broke. He was truly a “helper,” to use the phrase by Mr. Roger.

It became a routine that, when we would meet up with our mutual friends before school in the computer lab (cuz that’s where the nerds/geeks went to play magic the gathering in the mornings) we would end up debating something. Then when the bell rang, we’d stop—sometimes mid sentence—hug (usually) and go to class. Then, come lunch, one of us would come crashing down at the table saying something like “OKAY BUT HOLD ON, YOU SAID THIS, but WHAT ABOUT—“ and it would continue from there. Usually we’d get sidetracked talking about kid stuff, sometimes after one of us had a “gotcha” moment. But if the other ever thought of a rebuttal, we’d be back at it. And to be clear, these discussions weren’t ever meanspirited. They were fun! It was a challenge for the both of us!

The bell rang; we’d hug, go to class, then talk on the bus. Then on the walk home. Then we’d furiously research the topic after (or instead of) getting our homework done so that we could get on the bus the next morning with sources. And the cycle begins anew.

My point is, I couldn’t just dismiss this person as being heartless or stupid or whatever, because he was legitimately one of the nicest and smartest people I’d ever meet. I was legitimately baffled how he could believe some of the things my parents taught me were wrong, when he was so fundamentally good. And he later would say the same about me.

It was so confusing for both of us. And so we tried to track where exactly we began to split ideologically. We started from the very fundamentals. “People have a right to life.” “Agreed.” “I think that covers physical health, and their consciousness.” “Okay” “I think that life starts when they have a heartbeat.” “See, no, because—“ and we go from there.

We both won arguments, we both conceded arguments. We both grew as people and as critical thinkers because WE BOTH HAD TO CRITICALLY EXAMINE WHAT WAS WRONG WITH OUR OWN ARGUMENTS, in order to anticipate the next turn in the conversation, and that translated to our own thinking over time. I changed my mind on a lot of things in high school. So did my friend.

The real world—not the “adult” world, the REAL world that a lot of adults (including me, often) can’t see clearly—is nuanced. It’s complicated and uncomfortable and ideologically inconvenient and unwieldy. I happen to believe that there IS objective truth, but on a scale so unfathomable that it’s not always useful to us as a guide.

People hate that, because they hate being wrong and they hate being powerless. But one of the truths I believe to be both objective AND guiding is that all of us—every single one of us—could be driven to the same evils we condemn in the worst of historical figures, without changing our fundamental senses of self, under the correct set of circumstances.

If you truly try to put yourself into the shoes of another and ask yourself, without fear or hate “what would make me believe or do this? If I had to, how would I justify this? What line of reasoning or emotion would I have to be following IN ORDER to arrive at and/or justify this conclusion?” then you can learn a heck of a lot about how human everyone is. And I don’t mean “I would have to HATE [x group]/I would have to be ignorant and uneducated/ I would have to believe that [x group] deserves to die/I’d have to be greedy/narcissistic/sociopathic/etc.” I mean true, understandable, borderline sympathetic motives. “Because of X historical events that directly affected me and my youth, I came to realize/believe that Y law or belief system is fundamentally flawed and causes suffering to myself and/or people I care about, and that can be resolved if Z.”

If that exercise sounds repulsive or heretical to you, listen: listen SO carefully right now:

Understandable does not mean justified.

Understanding something doesn’t mean you agree with it. It means you understand (truly and compassionately) where they are coming from, what they fear, what they love, and the good they want to achieve.

Every person is the hero of their story. people want to be good, or they want to bring about what they SEE as good. No one is evil purely for the sake of it.

Which means, every person can find some element of common ground with every other person. You just have to start from the fundamentals and go from there.

If you don’t, you’re almost guaranteed to fall into and contribute to patterns of classification, dehumanization and polarization, which lead to mass violence and oppression. To specify:

Classification: reducing people (and groups) down to a basic set of traits, patterns, and stereotypes (race, religions/ideologies, etc) and making assumptions based on that—EVEN AS A JOKE. (“Old white men (are all/all believe____),” “blue-haired snowflakes.”)

Dehumanization: “[x group] are all trash/monsters/inhuman/mindless animals/NPCs/scum/etc.”

Polarization: Forbidding or socially punishing others for associating with “the Other.” Pushing away or ostracizing centrists or people with moderate views. “Fence-sitters,” “traitors”

These make it easier for people to be pitted against each other by higher authorities who stand to gain from needless conflict, and are conditions ripe for tyranny and oppression.

So yes; go make friends with people from the other side. It’s honestly the best chance you have at changing their minds and keeping our freedoms.

Okay yeah obviously there's an election in two and a half weeks and I want y'all to vote because it's literally my job and voting is important but you know something you could do that would help the country a lot more than any dopey election ever will?

Go make friends with someone who doesn't vote like you.

You don't ever have to talk politics with them. Just pick someone from the opposite party and go talk about football or Taylor Swift or which pretentious coffee shop in town has the best espresso or whatever. I don't care what you talk about. Pick something. Anything.

The point is that we all need someone we can think about the next time we hear someone say that democrats are all the spawn of satan or republicans are all nazis - someone who we care about and who we know is not like that. Maybe we disagree with them, but they're decent people who are at least trying to have their hearts in the right place, even if we think they get it wrong.

There is truly nothing that scares me more than the way we have managed to isolate ourselves into these tiny little ideologically homogeneous bubbles that let us forget how to exist with people who don't think exactly like us. It is so easy to exploit that maliciously. But it doesn't have to be. All this division and tribalism goes away the second we stop picturing a monster when we think of the other side and start picturing our friend who we care about.

So go vote but more importantly, go make a friend. Do some good for yourself and help heal this country.

[hajimeshoe]

so if you're still taking requests.... Twisted Wonderland housewardens with an S/o who doesn't get energy from too much sugar, but instead gets tired, and when they eat a lot they go into food comas

Idia was honestly the hardest for me to write for this one, but I think it turned out alright? I hope you like it! It was honestly really fun to write!

Also, not me writing this on four energy drinks while bleaching my hair

Riddle

I feel like Riddle would be a bit confused

Like, sugar is supposed to give people energy, right???

His mother never let him have much sugar when he was young tho, so he'd also be wondering how his s/o eats enough to get into a food coma

"Love, moderation is easy?"

But at the same time, he does understand that everyone is different

He'll TRY to limit your sugar intake to before bed so long as it doesn't interfere with the Queen's rules

If he does find you in a sleepy mood after eating sugar, he'll bring you back to your dorm and get you tucked into a comfy place (if you're not already in your dorm)

If you are in your dorm, he'll get you blankets/pillows - anything you need to be comfy really

Leona

Absolutely loves it <3

All he needs to do if he wants you to skip classes to nap with him is to hop you up on sugar? Aight, BET!

Will 1000% carry around sugar for you and will literally shove it down your throat if he has to in order to have his personal teddy bear nice and tired

If he finds you in a food coma after eating too much? He's manhandling you into his preferred position for a nap with you

He has definitely had Ruggie bring you water that's more sugar than water

Don't get me wrong, Leona knows that sugar is not healthy and too much can do more damage than good for your health

But...he likes his sleep so can you blame him???

"Babe, you're being too loud so eat this and have a nap."

"Leona, that is literally a cup filled with sugar??"

"Did I fucking stutter?"

Azul

So, Azul...I feel like he'll use this to his advantage if he really needs too

For example, if you're just being too much and he's busy then he'll get you some stuff that's high in sugar to calm you down

Other than that though

He lets you decide when you have sugar and how much of it you have

He just assumes it's a human thing to get tired after ingesting sugar

Azul also will let you sleep in his office if you need to

But will absolutely not let the tweels anywhere near you when they have sugar - he doesn't want them forcing you into a food coma for their entertainment

Ultimately, probably the best of the housewardens with it

Kalim

THAT IS SO COOL!!

You get tired when you have too much sugar? My little siblings and I always get super hyper. How does it work? How do you get like that? (Jamil is in the corner wishing Kalim was like you)

He wants to see if deserts and treats from his home have the same result, so expect a ton of treats from him

If he finds you in a food coma, he'll quiet down and make sure you're comfy.

I can see him bringing in doctors to look at you at some point in your relationship tbh

Just to see what's up cuz he's a worried boi

I can also see him trying to diagnose you with ADHD and a billion other stuff until the doctors tell him that everything is normal

Vil

"Darling, you shouldn't be eating enough sugar for that to happen. Do you know how bad it is for you?"

Aaaand you're sitting through a lecture on the effects of sugar on health and beauty

He tries to put you on a diet

I normally don't see him as the type of person to interfere too much with his S/O's beauty regimen, but I can absolutely picture him doing this

He just loves you and wants whats best for you darling, he swears

Cutting out sugar just happens to be what he thinks is best

If he finds you in a food coma, he's gonna try to wake you up to make sure you brushed your teeth and did your skin care routine

Dw he'll let you go back to sleep as soon as you've done both, sleep is an important part of beauty

This is how he shows his love

Idia

Like Azul, he'll use it to his advantage sometimes.

Mostly if he's gaming and you're trying to get his attention

He'll just give you sugar and have you curl up in his lap while he games

He loves you but he also loves his games

He won't bother you if you're passed out from eating sugar, he'll just play a game on his phone or something while you sleep

Idia does not care how much of it you have - it's my personal hc he's a huuuuuge caffeine addict - or when you have it

So long as you're happy and not interrupting his gaming during important events, he's happy

Malleus

"Lilia, my human is broken!"

Confused boy 2.0

Is this normal for humans??

Lilia has to explain that some humans get tired after having sugar rather than getting some energy

He does some reading on humans and sugar

Malleus. Panics. If he finds you in a food coma

Proceeds to cast every healing spell he knows

He's just so caring and protective, he doesn't want anything happening to his precious S/O

He does learn to just make sure you're in a safe place and extremely comfy.

"Mall sweetie, where are we?"

"My chambers in the castle."

"You mean your dorm room at school???"

"No."

Literally brought you to Briar Valley to ensure you're as comfortable as can be

He's so precious just give him all the love

[nagichi-boop]

Random Submas Headcanons

A lot of these are about autism and hypersomnia/insomnia, oops. (I’ve put a readmore in case people don’t want this to flood their dash but there’s more headcanons under the cut.)

• Both of the twins have autism (but we knew this already, didn’t we?)

• Emmet is very open about stimming. He has echolalia and will make different train noises. He flaps like an arceops, he swings his arms as he walks and can’t really stay still.

• Ingo also stims and has echolalia but he tries to subdue it. He whistled and hums because he likes singing but doesn’t want to appear unprofessional. He clicks pens and spins them (he’s rly good at it). When he’s more anxious he chews the inside of his mouth and sometimes bounces his leg.

• Because of his chewing stim, Ingo tends to chew his whistles without realising it, meaning he replaces it often. Because of this, Emmet bought Ingo a chew necklace shaped like a whistle so that Ingo could chew that instead. Not a lot of people realise it’s a chew necklace, especially cuz he chews it more when they’re in the cab, but when people ask why he has two whistles, Ingo openly admits what it is.

• Emmet once saw a shiny Minccino in the wild as a kid but no one believed him. Ingo did though. As adults, Ingo talks about how they wish they could see it again as it would be a helpful partner for keeping the cab clean.

• Both brothers have low empathy. They struggle a lot to deal with the emotions of others, but they also do their best to comfort people. Emmet has gotten good at masking his low empathy and most people don’t notice he has low empathy cuz of his facial expressiveness, but he’ll usually tell Ingo later that he was freaking out the whole time. They are most empathetic towards each other because they both know what the other needs and they share a lot of similar feelings and experiences.

• Emmet has hypersomnia and so he drinks coffee in the morning as a pick-me-up. He still feels tired but it gives him a bit more energy to do the train broadcasts (sometimes too much because he will keep making announcements). A lot of people like it though as it’s become part of their morning routine to listen to Emmet’s enthusiastic rambles in the morning.

• By the afternoon Emmet starts to get really tired. He tries to smile and push through but he makes less broadcasts. When Ingo notices, he encourages Emmet to sleep and takes over.

• He’s louder than Emmet on the broadcasts, but he usually only makes announcements when it’s important (like for stops, ticket checks, emergencies, etc) rather than idle chatter. A lot of people appreciate this as it allows them to sleep, read, etc but also not miss their stops.

• Ingo has insomnia and so he doesn’t sleep as much as Emmet. Sometimes Emmet will feel guilty when he sees Ingo unable to sleep, but Ingo is aware that Emmet’s condition has its own problems.

• Ingo drinks coffee as well (probably more than Emmet). He knows it’s bad and many people have told him that it’s probably not helping, but Ingo says he can’t afford to not be alert at his job and so he trades his chance for better sleep in order to perform well at work.

• Emmet does whatever he can to try and help Ingo. He took Ingo out bed shopping and treated him to a bunch of stuff to help him sleep (mattress, pillows, duvet, etc). He also tries to run a bath every night for Ingo to try and help him relax while Ingo goes over train plans for the next day. (Sometimes Emmet has to force him to though because Ingo will continue to work despite it being late.)

• Neither can sleep in silence. They both like to have relaxing train videos white noise to help them to sleep.

• Both of the brothers have OCD. Ingo struggles a lot with harm intrusive thoughts and often tries to check the news to see if there has been any train accidents. This is part of the reason he has insomnia as he will worry if he has forgotten something he’s done. He gets especially distressed when he has thoughts about harming Emmet, but the latter simply tries to comfort Ingo. He used to try to counter Ingo’s thoughts but they both realised that wouldn’t help, so Emmet usually just hugs him and helps him calm down.

• Emmet has about “just right” ocd. He opens and closes doors, tries to create symmetry in his body (eg if someone touches his right arm, he’ll touch his left arm) and checks things a lot. Because of this, Ingo tends to focus a lot more on the paperwork side of things because when Emmet does it, it causes him stress and he tends to take longer because he needs to check things over and over. (Not that Ingo minds but he hates seeing Emmet stressed.)

• PLA SPOILERS. When Ingo comes back to the present yes he comes back please let him come back, Emmet’s ocd gets worse. He has a ritual of checking whether Ingo is there because he keeps worrying that he’s gone again. Ingo feels bad about it, but he also understands that it’s not his or Emmet’s fault and so they try and work on it together.

Okay I should stop now. Will write more in the future? Maaaybe. But we shall see. Also some of these are kinda throwaways but feel free to share your opinions. I refuse to believe these men are NT though.

[sugar-petals]

↳ NOTE: how on earth did i not write this yet 😳 enjoy!

genre: post-idol au, 1.1k words total

» warnings. ⚠️ none, just fluff

MASTERLIST

⟪ jeon jungkook ⟫

when a room is cluttered, he puts it back in order with breakdancing in between

of course he’s still the #1 laundry fairy

fabric softener remains the ideal b-day present for him, we know how sensitive he is to scents

typical 5AM jogger who only ever wears tank tops

what the heck is a long sleeve, these tats are made for showing and that’s just what they’ll do! jungkook is very confident about it

truth is, his other arm is now inked as well and the glorious thighs and calves will soon follow

only a matter of time until the neck and back are due

all his tattoos plus a wedding ring on top... that’s the aesthetic

google is his best friend, jungkook lets himself tutor about household stuff through youtube

needs very concrete grocery lists, takes his time to look carefully at products, clueless koo at the convenience store until he builds a routine

once caught a thief running down the street

hoodie gamer husband with no hoodies because his spouse has stolen them all. that explains his tank top schtick um

hasn’t left the house for fun since eight months or so, is now twice as buff in the meantime, he can barely move from all the muscle ache

best friends with the pizza delivery dude

⟪ kim seokjin ⟫

small talks with all the delivery staff as well

spends 70% of his time playing with pets 

and the other 30% with looking for the good ole soy sauce, because where is it again? he could build his own soy sauce factory and would still run out the second he really needs it. jin and soy sauce is like jack sparrow: why’s the rum gone?

runs a meme twt about daily hacks and mishaps, will post random pics with disheveled hair and RJ pajamas

only to torture his followers with great styling and kissy selfies

everybody wants to steal jin from his partner but that won’t happen teehee

treats laundry and cleaning like parkour

tries to make his own sparkling water but overdid it at first try, now he’s notoriously careful with carbonating, guests call it the machine from hell and don’t understand his obsession

his neighbors are thoroughly confused by what seems to be going on in his house but they like jin simply for being himself

once almost broke a toe jumping into a makeshift swimming pool

1000% best friends with his spouse energy

⟪ kim taehyung ⟫

nobody in the neighborhood needs an alarm clock. taehyung’s earth-shattering 6AM sneeze can wake ‘em all

when the reverberations dust through the street, yeontan is awake as well and begins a symphony of barks

cycles to the bakery every morning

grows his own fruit and veggies in the backyard

collects art

notorious suit wearer since he wants to wow his spouse

has a whole collection of strawhats, was sad for an entire weekend when the wind blew his favorite one far away 

turns out the hat landed on yoongi’s garage down the block, it was promptly returned a week later after yoongi noticed it there

enjoys cooking but makes an even better baker

drives to the confectionist on sundays

sings trot under the shower

still can’t fall asleep without hugging something or someone

owns a karaoke station cuz he can, sometimes sings while scrubbing, multi-tae-sking

most devoted husband of all time award

⟪ kim namjoon ⟫

the most classic stay at home dad who seemingly adopts the entire neighborhood kids too

hosts a lot of birthday parties where he is forced to sing for the lols, kids just love it when RM does his soulful voice crack impersonation

“again, do it again!“

is basically uncle joonie at this point

sits underneath an oak in the garden reading poetry by women

video calls with yoongi to nail the cooking

but usually jin helps out in person

collects photographies of hiking trips with his partner

installs all kinds of safety measures knowing his own clumsiness: fire detectors, anti-slip shower mats, and he uses children’s knives anyway

goes on bicycle tours with taehyung, they often meet at the bakery by chance

has a designated library room, but it’s often used for making out instead, oh well then

plants his own trees 

⟪ min yoongi ⟫

built holly an actual hut

might make the local headline: town’s smolest husband operates county’s largest barbecue

big house big cars and big rings? not too far off from reality. yoongi knows how to invest his money. the grandpa owns actual stonks

yoongi’s car is basically a studio on wheels, excellent speaker quality

guests who don’t separate the trash or litter simply don’t get invited again

fends off racist neighbors with an electric leaf blower, put a hex on several teenage bullies the other week at the gas station and drove off with his sunglasses on, yoongi remains on his no bullshit grind

michelin chef at this point, the man cooks so passionately

the whole block thinks a DJ lives in that one house painted in black, yoongi bumps a rap rave every weekend, but it’s actually just a few people

gets a complaint over playing the drums one day, settles with guitars and piano instead

once painted a mural in the hallway

still owns his middle finger cat doormat, will keep it until forever

⟪ jung hoseok ⟫

ginormous closet

every duvet placed and flattened, 90° angles, not one crumb of dust and lint

would win the world championship of speed ironing and the dishwasher loading olympics

blasts endorphin music while he irons

the epitome of germaphobe so he keeps it all spotless

vacuum cleans tri-weekly, uses a broom almost daily

knows about the latest household innovations, gets interested in literally all of them, buys them before you can even put any on the hobi birthday wishlist

drives a sparkling car with a sparkling watch on but he’s still down to earth and grateful

likes watching sitcoms in his free time

enjoys going to the cinema but it has to be a harmless movie, anything 16+ scares him and makes him cry

mistrusts all ladders, calls namjoon instead

of course has a dance studio in his house

the type to sit on his partner’s lap when there’s a thunderstorm

⟪ park jimin ⟫

keeps a whole separate bathroom closet for his pet allergy medication

owns three smoochy kitties from a shelter what did you think

jimin loves cats and the cats love him, every other item he buys for decoration is basically cat-themed

gave up on the hair being everywhere, gladly yoongi gifted him a vacuum robot 

which mochi tries hard not to stumble over, especially in a state of being tired

taehyung is a permanent guest in the household 

and another tradition: jimin takes the longest in the bathroom, very much into beauty trends

seductively sways around the counters in his apron but what else is new

adorably washes dishes by hand with pink gloves, hums while doing it, it’s a dream come true

no clue about taxes, calls yoongi for help, his cats sometimes shred the bills just because so that’s also useful

very extroverted household, lots of friends visiting

the whole neighborhood is jelly of jimin’s spouse, if that causes a civil war at some point don’t be surprised

〔 m.list | ao3 〕

[quirrrky]

CHOOSE YOUR YANDERE ●_● HAIKYUU BOYS EDITION  (Part 1) ✧

PART 2 ✧ PART 3

Here’s your new round of yandere selection featuring some of our hq boys! Reminder: I love ‘em boys and this is just for fun!

Rating: T+ Warning: Mild psychological triggers (mentions of kinks and stuff) Selected characters only ~(⊕⌢⊕)~

HINATA SHOYO aka THE ANNOYING TANGERINE (but still loveable tho)

This fella’ follows you all the time!

Asks you tons of questions and invites you to a lot things

Pretty persistent about getting your heart and making him a part of your life

Very chatty and energetic…Will never leave your side

If it’s possible, he’ll tie himself around you (please don’t inform him of this idea, he might actually do this)

Calls you when you finally gets home, he’ll climb your window if you won’t answer

Attempts of avoiding him is close to impossible

He’s like…everywhere

Literally threatens and challenges all the other guys who come near you (they better not!)

He’d do anything and everything in his power to win

He’s pretty delusional too thinking that you might actually like him back if he keeps on “trying his best” to win you

Tbh, he thinks you’re actually liking him back O_O

When you’re being hard to “talk to”, he has that look on his face like he’s so in it for the kill

Despite it all, he can never bring himself to hurt you

“Oh, Y/N. Why haven’t you answered my calls? I’ve been calling you for like…78 times already! I got so worried that I sneak into your bedroom. Hehehe~ I’ll talk to you ’til you fall asleep. Then…I’ll watch you.” Eyes wide staring into you.

Danger level: 40% Pet peeve: You avoiding or ignoring him

KAGEYAMA TOBIO aka THE CRUEL KING

He’s not called ‘The King’ for nothing, y’know

When he’s set his eyes on you, no one’s stopping this guy

At first, he was in awe of you and puts you in a pedestal like some kind of an idol or sum’n

You liked that about him add that he knows you like it’s natural

You thought it was a soulmate connection but think again!

Little did you know that he followed you and studied your every movement

Also knew your daily schedule and routine and imitated your way of life

Once he finally got you, the King shows up

He saw many errors in your way thus he wanted to bring out the “best” in you

Doesn’t hurt you tho, but he lacks consideration 

Or he may actually hurt you at times when he got totally irritated

Loves pushing you to the limit…more than your body can bear (and it’s not volleyball we’re talking about here)

Will rile you up until you lose consciousness (doesn’t matter if you’re hurting or what)

You’re wondering where that stamina was coming from and…

Don’t think it sexy cuz you’re basically a slave here who just does what he orders you to do (unless you really like it, yknow)

Worst part of it all, you’re starting to like it and before you even know it, he got you all wrapped around his finger

“I’m doing you so good so keep up with my pace! Too slow! You’re too slow! Are you even moving?” He lashed out on you then followed up through his gritted teeth. “What are you saying you can’t feel your legs anymore? We’re not even getting there yet.”

Danger level: 50% Pet peeve: Your sheer incompetence

TSUKISHIMA KEI aka THE SCHEMING BLOCKER

This guy’s smart, so he’s probably planning an effective course of action to monopolize you without you even noticing it

No, he won’t eliminate anyone (not that we are aware of??? srsly, this guy could stage his innocence for a murder)

But he’s so good at setting you up that you can only see him

You will not know what makes you follow him around and he’s even acting so nonchalantly about it

You don’t know why but he has you begging for his attention

It’s all part of his intricate plan as he carefully analyzed  your behavior

And telling your mind creeping into your subconscious what you should believe in

When he has you all under his control, he’ll waste no time to tease and deny you

This guy’s degrading kink gaming is strong

Will call you names, literally belittles you for his amusement (just bc he’s tall lololol)

Yet you kept liking it more and more

Until he’s seriously the only one on your mind and on your sight clearly blocking any aspect of this universe in your perspective BUT HIM

Loves playing you around

Secretly turned on when you talk back (it makes him want tease you even more)

“Oh, I never thought you like me that much, huh, midget.“ He evilly chuckled (it’s sexy don’t @ me) and grinned at you looking down. “What if I say I’m not convinced enough? What would you do? Ahh, don’t talk back to me with that stupid little mouth of yours. You might not like what’s gonna happen next…”

Danger level: 70% Pet peeve: Your stupid ass (but he kinda’ likes that too)

YAMAGUCHI TADASHI aka YOUR HUMBLE SERVER

Like Hinata, this guy will follow you around but…

He possesses a beyond normal amount of servitude (which will only show when you get to be with him for longer)

Worships you and offers to be your servant

For him, there’s nothing more beautiful and wonderful but you

It’s not difficult to like him back, he’s really adorable and gentle and normal (?)

Until, he’s gradually getting overboard with lowering himself before you

Very obsessed with you like everything he does is for you in an extremely overrated manner

Like if you’re a girl, he’s even more aware of your period more than you are

Even this sweet being can have a possessive side tho he seemed like can’t hurt anybody

You wouldn’t know it but people who try to cross you are shivering in their legs under his rather stealth intimidation

Will lie for you, steal for you and kill for you

Loves you that much he showers you with affection in a way you can never let go of him even if his moments of self-deprecation is disturbing

Adores you even more when you talk down on him

Even if you want out, you can’t cuz you’re scaredt of what he’ll do to himself if you leave (TT-TT he’s such a bean)

“It’s raining, you can use my umbrella if you don’t have one. I’m perfectly fine under the rain, it’s just a little drizzle. Oh there’s a puddle! Here, you can step on my-“ NO PLEASE DON’T! TT-TT

Danger level: 30% Pet peeve: Things and people that makes you uncomfortable

⁺˚*·✧ request guidelines ✧⁺˚*·

[lunarreaper-ut]

How exactly did killer loose his arm? Was it cuz he got distracted or was it tactic to prevent something even worse?? ;-; how did nightmate take that sight? How did he get the idea to give killer some of his magic to make an artificial arm for him, did he knew it would work? Was it a hard or painful process for any of them?? (God i love the idea of killer getting a shadow arm from nm >w< makes him even cooler! Kyaaaaa~ still a sad thing tho uwu)

Was nightmare ever in the mood/need/curious to ask killer sing somehing (for him~)??

What ships will happen in kingdomverse??

Alsoo... Uhh dont know if thats an OK question but can they get pregnant? I wanna know if babybones are an possibility in the future? qwq

Ah yes... the Incident.

Allow me to explain the unfortunate event in which Killer almost failed at his job.

(This is gonna be heckin, and I mean HECKIN long. We got some worldbuilding ahead!)

How did Killer lose his arm?

This event happened several years after Killer began his duties as Royal Guard. Dream had already told Nightmare he no longer needed a Royal Guard, and Killer already expressed his wish to stay as one. Nightmare and Killer were frequently having their nightly visits, and things were going well.

One night, however, after Killer had returned to his room and the two had settled in for bed, something happened.

Now I haven't mentioned this before, mainly cause your questions have thankfully not uncovered it >w< During Nightmare's reign, there was much despair in the Kingdom. Negativity brings out the worst in people, as we're all aware I'm sure, and it's no wonder that some people would be driven mad by the results of Nightmare's actions.

Some people began to believe that if they worshipped Nightmare, they would be spared from his wrath and from the destruction his crafted creatures wrought. These people formed a cult dedicated to Nightmare, praising his actions and renouncing their loyalty to the Sun King. They called themselves The Corrupted.

Cults are a very hard thing to get rid of, especially if you weren't aware they existed. When Dream returned and cast Nightmare into the Void, the Corrupted hid themselves in the shadows, vowing to return only once their "True King" returns as well.

The issue arose when Nightmare did return from the Void. Nightmare, throughout his reign, was most often seen as his "transformed" self, and it was that self that The Corrupted worshipped, not Nightmare.

The Corrupted believed that they could bring back the "True King", and to do so they needed to remove the "Imposter King". The cult spent time learning the routines of the castle in order to break in to Nightmare's quarters when they were certain no one was around.

They had acquired a drug meant to incapacitate monsters and suppress their magic, and modified it to be several times as strong. Nightmare certainly wasn't at his strongest either, the Kingdom was a naturally positive place when Dream was around.

A few cult assassins threw a smoke bomb filled with the drug into Nightmare's room while he slept, and unfortunately it worked well enough. Nightmare wasn't unconscious, but he didn't have as fine of control over his magic or his own body.

The assassins came into the room, intending to kidnap Nightmare, but it's rather fortunate that Killer is a light sleeper, isn't it? Killer came into the room just as one of the assassins was about to grab Nightmare.

There was quite a few of them, as they'd been prepared for resistance, and though I hate to say it, they were skilled too. They weren't just some guy picked off the street and given a weapon, it was as if they'd been trained for years just for this moment.

It's likely they had been. Killer was having difficulties, but holding his own well enough. He would only really need to hold them off long enough for the guards to get to the room. Well, that's what he thought until he saw another assassin coming towards a practically immobile Nightmare, and he clearly wasn't intending to just kidnap the King.

Killer moved without thinking, and without his armor he was much more vulnerable to attacks... but getting injured wasn't an issue. He had to protect Nightmare at all costs, even if it meant he got hurt. That was the moment he lost his arm.

Killer didn't have time to register the pain, and slew the assassin who dared attempt to harm Nightmare. Killer was outnumbered still, and if he was having difficulties before, it was going to be impossible to hold out now.

He was lucky he didn't have to though, as several Guardsmen burst into the room. Seems they'd finally heard the commotion. The Guardsmen drove out the assassins, only managing to capture two. Killer was tended to, and he refused to leave Nightmare's side until the drug wore off.

How did Nightmare handle it?

Nightmare was half conscious in the moment, and so most of what he saw didn't register properly. It was only when the drug had worn off and he saw Killer by his side, sans one arm (Hehe), that it hit him.

Nightmare was angry first and foremost. He was angry it happened, angry Killer was dumb enough to get hurt, angry he wasn't able to resist the stupid drug, and angry that Killer seemed completely unbothered.

Nightmare didn't react well at all, and he ended up putting Killer on temporary leave. When Killer tried to refuse Nightmare said he was useless with only one arm, and Nightmare didn't need a useless Guard. Killer shut up pretty quickly.

Killer was still allowed to stay at the castle of course, but he was forbidden from coming near Nightmare's office, or taking part in any Guard duties. Nightmare believed that what happened was the stupidest thing Killer could have done, and refused to think otherwise.

It was during Killer's leave that Nightmare did research. He interrogated the cult members, and utilized glamours (Which we all know he's not fond of) in order to leave the castle without issue. Throughout his research, he spoke with the Court Apothecary regularly about Killer's injury. How was he fairing, is he at risk of dusting, is there anything to be done, stuff like that.

The Apothecary had made an offhanded comment that Killer is going to be without his arm for the rest of his life, since skeletons don't regenerate. Not unless he got enough magic to replace the missing arm at least.

He mentioned just getting a prosthetic for Killer, but that went in one ear and out the other, so to speak. Nightmare began to think about the suggestion (even though it was a joke). Nightmare had a large surplus of magic, and he thought about whether or not it was possible to somehow weave his magic with Killer's and form a new limb.

By the time Killer had returned to Nightmare, asking to return to his duties, the King had already figured out a way to properly do the procedure. He of course asked Killer if he would be allowed to do so, that he wasn't certain if it would work and that it certainly wouldn't be pretty.

Killer agreed without issue. The process was indeed a painful one... fusing Nightmare's magic with Killer's was difficult, and it was akin to taking a freezing cold needle and sewing a constantly shifting mass of energy directly to his soul. (Not actually how it worked, it's just how it felt).

The only reason Killer got through the procedure was because of Nightmare's intent. We all know that intent comes through to Monsters when involving magic, and Nightmare's intent made the process a lot less painful. Heal, fix, help, care, all those things came through to Killer.

It helped that Nightmare had a good relationship with Killer. His magic was much more willing to accept Killer's and vice versa. If this had been done between Nightmare and a stranger, it wouldn't have worked.

It took Killer a few days to work the arm properly. It was almost dead weight for a while. After that, it took even longer for him to properly fight with it, and longer still for him to be able to utilize the magic it was made with.

Has Nightmare ever asked Killer to sing for him?

Nope, Nightmare doesn't even know Killer can or that he has a good voice XD Killer has never sung in front of anyone, nor does he care to. It's just not something he does, but I imagine there could be a few scenarios where he gets coerced into it. Singing with friends, soothing a wounded animal (Yes Killer would do that, he likes small animals. They're cute.), that kind of stuff.

Nightmare's never had a reason to think Killer could sing. >w<

What Ships are going to be canon in Kingdomverse?

Well we've already got Cream, Killermare and Afterdeath as being confirmed.

Honestly I've kinda decided to leave the others more open for interpretation! If you want, you can say Errink is gonna happen, Lust could probably be someones s/o, it's all up to interpretation >w<

Theres quite the cast of characters in Kingdomverse?, and there might be more added later (if I can think of them), so honestly I'm sure there's no issue with some other ships coming to life!

Basically theres no other planned canon ships >w<

Can the skellies get preggers?

I don't see why not! Nightmare and Dream being immortals doesn't stop them from having kids, but I would say that if they did it would probably be through a different process than mortals.

I'd say that monsters need to make the conscious, or unconscious decision that they want a child or that they are ready for a child before they can have one.

Nightmare and Dream would probably be a bit difficult to have a child with purely because they have an immense amount of power and magic (even after a bond), so it might be a bit risky even for them to have kids.

(if any of you do make ship kids I want to see them though, I love baby bones >w<)

[obeyme-swd]

Hey! May I ask for the brothers' reaction when they switched bodies with MC? Thank you!! Also good luck ok your blog! :D

The demon brothers (feat. Bod swap)

Lucifer

Not happy at all, give his body back please

He's traumatised from the last rime something like this happened to him but wjth satan

He'll respect your wishes if you told him not to do certain stuff while in your body

But would also heavily control what you do in his

He thinks it's interesting to be a human for once, to have no magic

Would 100% get hurt in an insignificant way like a small cut while chopping veggies and now has bannes you from cookies duties

Now compares you to glass dolls

Mammon

He'd be very embarrassed to even look in the mirror

He'd always wanted to feel you and he got his wish finally...kinda?

Would get "angry" with you if you did anything embarrassing in his body

Saw you in his body while looking in the mirror shirtless and he s c r ea m e d

He does ask you to have him try human activities

He used to slide down the stair railing (cuz he's Mammon) and when he did that in your body and it hurt he just stopped

Always remembered how easily breakable your body is from then on

Leviathan

Extremely angry at first

How is he supposed to get maximum score in his game if he can barely control this body!

Truly though he can barely function in your body

His tub is now uncomfortable, all the food he loves makes him sick

Needs to be looked after so he doesn't die in your body

Also has to sleep in your room since he's a human now

He steals your shirts and brings them to your room when you sleep, not to be creepy he's just lonely and loves you

He feels comforted when he sees your body react to the sight of him involuntarily

Satan

Surprisingly not that upset

Quite amused tbh

This guy would pull pranks on you and mess with others in your body

Until he got hurt that is

He realises that you aren't as strong as a demon and that holy shit pain is so much more unbearable for humans

Doesn't really care what you do to his body, he knows he can take it

Would hide the book that started that mess

He does treasure you more after learning about you in such an intimate way

Asmodeus

E x c i t e d

He wants to try so much stuff now

Let him feel your body up, he needs to know how you look undressed

But would respect if you said no

You can't deny that he'd be curious on how love making would feel as a woman, especially a human but would never ever think about pressuring you, especially if you show any kind of discomfort towards more intimate actions

Loves to dress your body up in adorable clothes

When you come back to your body you have a whole new wardrobe, glass-like perfect skin and a manicure

He does expect you to keep up with his beauty routine, cant have a perfect face without skincare

Beelzebub

R e l i e v e d

Finally he doesnt feel that blinding hunger

He can actually concentrate on stuff other than food

Will ask you as soon as he can what he is and isn't allowed to do in your body

Big puppy doesn't wanna upset you, it's your body after all

He'll have food ready for your new body all the time

He understands how hard it is so he tries his best

100% would be shocked to see humans and demons taste food differently

Belphegor

Doesn't care

Not like he'll do much anyway

Will be annoyed when your body begs him to move, his is accustomed to the lazy life

It's weird talking to you in his body

Even weirder when you nap together and he has to hold himself

Still kind of hates the idea of a weak magic-less body

But something in the back of his mind wants to do this for lilith too, to see how she lived her new life

Will ask for guidance in order to enjoy the experience

Hope I did well this time 💗

[jombocostello]

first dates (joskue x reader)

anonymous asked: omg i saw ur new and i already loveeeee your writing!! can i request a Josuke x Reader they both grew up together and never imagined themselves to end up as a couple. but then they start realizing their feelings for each other and they go on a date and at first it’s pretty awkward cuz they’ve been friends their whole life but then they finally let loose and do dorky stuff like going to the arcade or even pranking Rohan as a couple? thank u!! xoxo

hello!! this request is supremely adorable oh man, i hope you like it!! (and requests are open!)

Sometimes you resent the fact that Morioh is such a small town. When you peer outside your window every morning and watch the same several people start their morning commutes, doing the exact same thing every day, you sometimes feel a little sick, honestly. The humdrum of this small town life really isn't meant for you.

But every morning, once you head outside and meet your best friend at the corner of the street, those feelings disappear completely.

You and Josuke have known each other for your entire lives. You live three doors down from each other and your parents have always been friends, so it was pretty much inevitable that you would meet. Luckily, you get along extremely well! He's got a perfect sense of humor that you always appreciate, and you always manage to think up weird things to do to pass the time in your boring little town. Being best friends with Josuke is the easiest thing in the world for you.

That is...until it's not.

You roll out of bed, yawning loudly. It's Saturday, so you have essentially nothing to do today. You stand up and head to the bathroom, and after fifteen minutes you've hustled through your morning routine. As you're fixing your hair, you hear the phone ring. You hop up and grab it, pressing it to your ear. "Hello?"

"(Y/N)! Hey." You grin; it's Josuke!

"Hey, dude, what's up?" you ask, leaning against the wall.

"...Nothing, really." He takes a little while to answer, but you don't really pay any mind to it.

"Oh, okay." You laugh a little, furrowing your eyebrows. "Was there a reason for this call, then? You could've just jogged over and knocked on the door. Or just punched it down, I don't care."

Josuke huffs out a little laugh, rather humorlessly. This you do notice, and you frown a bit. "Are you okay?" you ask.

"What?! I'm fine! No, I'm good." The speed of his response doesn't really assure you, but you just go with it.

You start to speak again, but before you do you hear muffled whispers on the other end that don't belong to Josuke. "Hey, is that Okuyasu?" you ask brightly. "What the hell, you guys are hanging out without me? Assholes." You laugh.

"N-no, we're not. He's just... Uh, Okuyasu, say something!" The phone is passed over to someone else, and before you know it Okuyasu is borderline screaming at you.

"(Y/N), hi! How's it going?" You can hear that he's wearing that ridiculous grin he always has.

"Hey, it's alright!" You twist the phone cord in your hand. "So what's up? Are you and Josuke plotting something without me, then?"

He scoffs. "No, not really." There's a flurry of movement on the other line, and you frown. "Listen, I'm putting Josuke back on. I, uh... I have to piss." He practically throws the phone back into Josuke's hands and you can hear him scramble away.

"Um... Hi again."

"Seriously, dude, what's going on? I feel like you two are hiding some horrible secret from me. We, ah... I feel like we're close enough that you can tell me anything." It's true; the two of you are nearly inseparable. You hope that there's nothing that Josuke ever feels too nervous to come to you about.

"No, don't worry! Nothing's wrong." He pauses for a second. "I... I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go to the cafe today."

Your face lights up. "Dude, I'd love to! What time?"

He sounds a little more normal as he answers. "Uh, noon would be good."

"Great, I'll be there." You turn and glance at the clock; you've got an hour. "Is Okuyasu coming?"

"No." The answer comes way faster than you'd expected.

You laugh a little. "Oh. What, is this a date?" you ask, raising your eyebrows with a grin.

"Yeah."

You freeze. Did he just - did he just say... "Uh... What...?" you say weakly, holding the phone with both hands.

Josuke sounds panicked. "I-I mean yeah. As a date. If that's alright with you."

You really don't know what to say, but you know you have to do something. Your brain hasn't fully processed this yet. "Um... Okay. Yeah, I'll see you then."

A giant sigh startles you. "Awesome! Great. I'll see you then, (Y/N)." And before you can even try to get a word in, he hangs up.

Well, that was... Wow. You set the phone down gently and lean back, staring into space. You had never even considered that Josuke liked you in that way. Your face flushes a deep red and you step into your room, still completely blindsided. Now that Josuke has just essentially admitted to having feelings for you, you really don't know what to do.

Josuke is hot. You've always known that. You'd only entertained the idea of dating him a few times; you can recall a couple instances where he'd looked at you with the biggest, goofiest smile on his face and just for a moment, you felt like you were in love. Still, you figured that he just saw you as a friend - well, his best friend - and that he really wasn't interested in pursuing any sort of romance with you. After all, pretty much every girl in your school was chasing after him. Surely he liked one of them...?

Josuke's recent confession has thrown all that out the window. You sit down in front of your mirror and just stare at your face for a minute. Josuke had never dropped hints that he likes you. Maybe he'd just come to that conclusion recently. God, you can't stop agonizing over this. You brush your hair - again - and ponder over what you should wear.

It's odd, feeling this giddy. You're excited and terrified at the same time. As you rifle through your closet, you replay every conversation you've shared with Josuke in the past week over in your head. Now that you think about it, he had been acting a little strange when you hung out with him a couple days ago... Maybe he was already thinking about asking you out? God, this is too crazy.

You get dressed and get ready, and once you're done you scrutinize yourself in the mirror. You put on a little more blush, smiling at the way it looks when you scrunch up your nose. You try to stop worrying about how you look, though; Josuke has seen you at your best (performing at the summer festival, dressed to the nines) and your worst (crying over getting seventh place in Mario Kart in his basement at 3 AM), so he clearly doesn't care too much about appearances.

The cafe's a short walk from your house, about five minutes, so you leave with a few minutes to spare. It's a really nice day outside, and you try to pay more attention to the cloudless sky than the butterflies in your stomach. The thought springs into your mind that this might be a joke and you nearly turn around and head back home - but a moment later, you realize that Josuke would never do that. He's the nicest person you know, and he's cared about you for a long, long time. He'd never be anything but genuine with you.

You get to the cafe right on time. Before you head inside, you catch your reflection in the window outside. After subtly adjusting your hair, you suck in a deep breath and open the door.

It's not too crowded; there's probably ten people inside. You look around for Josuke's big pompadour, and it only takes you a second to find it. He's facing away from the door.

"Hey!" You walk over and put your hand on his arm, smiling. He nearly falls out of his chair before pulling himself together and smiling back.

"Hi, (Y/N). Thanks for coming."

"Of course." You sit down and hang your bag over the back of the chair, leaning back in your seat. Josuke folds his hands and rests them on the table. You feel your nerves come back with a vengeance. "So, uh..."

"So!" He cuts you off without realizing it, and his eyes widen. "Shit, sorry. Go ahead."

"No! I-I really didn't have...anything to say." Good God, this is painful. You can't help but notice that Josuke is blushing horribly, and oh man, does he look adorable. In turn you become equally flustered. You both stare at each other, unsure of what to do, until finally the waitress arrives.

"Hi. What can I get you today?"

You let go of a giant breath and smile, turning to her. "Hi. I'll have a coffee with cream and sugar, please."

She nods and jots the order down, then turns to Josuke. He clears his throat. "I'll have an iced tea." She writes down his order and leaves after setting two little menus down in front of you.

You're alone again. You brush your hair behind your ear just to do something. Josuke just watches you. One of you is going to have to speak first... You decide you'll do it. "So how's it going?"

"It's alright." Josuke also reaches up and fiddles with his hair for a moment. He really doesn't have to; it looks as perfect as it usually does. "It's really beautiful out, huh?"

"Yeah. Good day for the beach." You smile as you glance out the window; it really is gorgeous. You consider asking Josuke if he wants to go to the beach later, but your cursed brain is too flustered to even try.

"I'm sorry I'm being so weird." You blink, glancing up at Josuke. He turns his gaze downward. "I just... I don't really know how to go about this. I really like you, (Y/N). A lot."

Your face goes bright red, and you quickly look back at the window. He's being so forward...and so nice. You don't know how to respond. "If you don't feel the same way, I totally get it. But I just wanted you to know that I've liked you for a while now."

You manage to pull yourself together and you meet his eyes. "I'm sorry too, I'm really not doing a great job at socializing right now." You laugh a little, and so does Josuke. "But I - "

"Here are your drinks." The waitress is back, saving you from awkward conversation yet again. She sets your coffee and Josuke's iced tea down gently. "Let me know if you two want anything else." With a smile, she hurries away to go conveniently interrupt some other couple.

You take a sip of your coffee and wince when it burns your tongue a bit. "Ow!" you yell, setting it down hurriedly. Josuke starts to laugh at your misfortune but quickly stops himself, until you start laughing as well. You giggle together for a while before falling silent.

"I'm the biggest dumbass there is when it comes to hot drinks," you say, letting out one last chuckle before going to take another, safer, sip.

Josuke grins. "Yeah, I know. Remember when my mom made us hot chocolate and you-" he has to hold back a laugh "- you spilled it all over your shirt?"

You burst out laughing, hunching over. "Yeah, oh my God, yeah! I felt so bad cause I got it all over the carpet too." You grin, clasping your hands together. "Oh man, that burned too."

"I imagine it did, yeah." Josuke drinks some of his iced tea and glances down at the little dessert menu. You do the same, but you're not really reading it. You're relieved that you've both been able to loosen up a little bit; you feel so much comfortable with Josuke when you're both laughing. He looks cute as hell when he laughs, too. You've never really thought about it, but now that you are, you have to admit that the way his eyes light up and his eyebrows shoot up is really charming, He's really charming.

"Oh, (Y/N)!" You look up at him, raising your eyebrows. "Have you ever had the cheesecake here?" You shake your head. Josuke grins. "Oh, it's the greatest. Koichi and I tried it last weekend and it's just crazy. We should get some!" The waitress once again flexes her perfect timing by passing by your table. "Could we get two pieces of the cheesecake?" Josuke asks with a smile. She takes the order and leaves.

There's something really cute about the way he smiles. He has such a pretty face and when he grins he looks almost like a kid in a candy store. You just take him in for a moment, smiling faintly. You don't realize you've been staring until Josuke waves a hand in front of your face. "Uh, you there?" he asks, laughing a little.

"Yeah! Yes, sorry." You try not to blush as you drink some more coffee. "But, uh, what I was saying earlier..." Josuke's eyes widen a little and he watches you closely.

You smile. "I really like you, Josuke." He grins widely, almost impossibly so, and practically deflates in his chair. "You're my favorite person in the world and I'd love to spend all my time with you. I mean we practically already do."

He laughs and nods. "Yeah, that's true." His smile softens a bit and he hesitantly reaches out and takes your hand. "I'm glad. I was really nervous about this."

"Yeah, I could tell." You grin. "I guess Okuyasu was in on it?"

Josuke rolls his eyes. "Yeah, the asshole was constantly pressing me and asking if I'd finally told you. But I guess it worked out, huh?"

You nod and smile. "Yeah."

Your cheesecake arrives, and you and Josuke start eating. He was right; it's delicious. Once you two are finished, you pay and head outside.

You both stand on the sidewalk, unsure of what to do next. "So, uh... Are you gonna go home - " you start.

Josuke cuts you off by leaning in and hugging you tightly. You freeze, surprised, but after a moment you hug him back. He rests his chin on your shoulder and you smile. "Wanna head to the beach? You were right, it's the perfect day to go," he murmurs.

You part, and you grin. "Yeah, that would be great. I just have to get my stuff."

"Yeah, same here. Well, let's go, then...?" You both turn and start walking towards your street, and after a minute Josuke reaches out and takes your hand in his. You blush and turn to him, and he's looking off into space with a similarly red face. You just smile and hold his hand tightly as you head back home.

-----

It's been a week of dating Josuke, and frankly, it's been the best week of your life. He's honestly perfect; you spend all your time with him, whether it be studying, playing video games, heading to the arcade, or just walking around town, and he always makes everything so much fun. He's so sweet and loving, and he makes you feel like the most beautiful person in the world.

Okuyasu and Koichi tease the two of you about it (mostly Okuyasu though - Koichi knows that he can't say much, considering his relationship with Yukako), but all you do is punch them in the arm and move on with your life. You're not even a little embarrassed about dating Josuke - why should you be? You're pretty much made for each other.

Saturday eventually rolls around, and you're woken up by a couple loud knocks on your door. Blearily, you roll out of bed and answer it. Unsurprisingly, it's Josuke. "Hey, babe," he says, leaning in and kissing you on the cheek. You laugh and lean back, rubbing your eyes.

"Good morning. What's up?"

He shrugs. "Figured you'd wanna do something today, and I have the perfect plan. Get ready and come outside, okay? I'll lay down my master plot then."

You laugh again and shove him back outside, and he stumbles for a second before righting himself. "Be back in a second." You run back to your room and quickly get dressed, then head back to the door.

"You look stellar as ever," Josuke says sweetly, leaning in and kissing you sweetly. You reach up and run a hand over his impeccable hair, smiling.

"You're looking just as great. God, we're like the power fashion couple of Morioh." Josuke laughs loudly. "So, what's the plan?"

"Well, the first step is heading to a very important house." Yeah, but whose house...? You raise an eyebrow, but Josuke refuses to divulge anything else.

After a few minutes, Josuke stops suddenly. You nearly run into him but catch yourself at the last second. "What, is this where we're..." You look up at the home you've stopped in front of, and you're met with the residence of one Rohan Kishibe.

You turn to Josuke and find him wearing the biggest shit-eating grin. "Wait, what... What are we doing outside of Rohan's house?"

Josuke is making a herculean effort to not burst out laughing. "He's in Tokyo right now at a conference with his publishing team or something, and he'll be back tomorrow. We're here to wreck his shit."

Oh, so he wants to pull a prank on him. You're more than happy to hear that. "You are such a genius," you say, grabbing him and spinning him around. You both laugh as you skip up to his front door. "So what do you have in mind?" you ask, peering into his home through a small window.

"I've been thinking for a little while about this, and I think it's gonna be great." Josuke runs his fingers through his hair and stares at you with bright, excited eyes. "I'm gonna-" he snorts "-I'm gonna unslice all his bread."

You pause, frowning. "Wait... What?"

Now Josuke does laugh, making you jump. "Come on, come on. Let's do it." Josuke summons his stand, and you watch it wind up a punch. (You'd been shot by that freaky stand arrow a couple months ago while hanging out downtown with Josuke and Koichi. Josuke had totally freaked out, but thankfully, you were fine in moments and you had a weird new superpower to boot!) Crazy Diamond smashes through the window, and it quickly shields you from any glass before returning to Josuke.

You both climb in the window and you nearly burst out laughing as you topple onto the floor. "This is so dumb," you whisper at Josuke as you try to hold back your laughter. "What are we even doing? How the hell do you unslice bread?"

Josuke takes your hands and pulls you up, chuckling when you bump into him. "The key to unslicing bread, my dear..." He brushes some dust off of your shirt, and you smile. "Is my Crazy Diamond."

Together, through your uncontrollable giggles, the two of you fuse every single loaf of sliced bread Rohan has back into its original unsliced form. You feel like a bit of an asshole when you get to his impeccably cut homemade sourdough, but the way it looks as it floats menacingly through the air and turns back into a single loaf is so damn funny that you really can't feel bad.

Eventually you've cursed Rohan's entire house with unsliced bread. Josuke and you are barely able to stand because you're laughing so hard. You don't snoop around his house, because you're not that mean (though Josuke is tempted for a moment to fuse Rohan's latest manuscript into one giant rectangle of paper). Josuke helps you out of the window and you land shakily on your feet. You help Josuke get out and watch as he puts the window back together.

You're both a little dizzy from stumbling around and giggling, but you manage to walk back down to the sidewalk. "Just wait until he gets back, he's gonna be so confused!" Josuke wheezes, grabbing onto your shoulder and doubling over.

You wipe a tear out of your eye, taking a huge breath in to try and pull yourself together. "He's gonna lose his mind!"

You stand there together, laughing like idiots, for a few more minutes. Eventually you get it together and start walking into town. "You wanna head over to St. Gentleman's before they're sold out?" Josuke asks, checking his watch. His eyes widen almost comically. "Shit, we've got two minutes before they open, come on!"

He grabs your hand and starts sprinting down the street, and you try your best to keep up with him. You manage to reach the shop after a thirty second mad dash. You stand in front of the door to the shop, doubled over. "Jesus, you're fast," you wheeze, taking a deep breath.

"Anything for a St. Gentleman's sandwich," Josuke answers, similarly out of breath. The store opens a moment later and you hurry inside.

As you look over the sandwiches, musing over which one to choose, you feel Josuke gently take your hand. You smile and turn to him, squeezing his hand. Once you've gotten your food you walk over to the park and take a seat on the warm grass. "Thanks," you say, pressing a kiss to Josuke's cheek. "It's been a really great day."

Josuke grins widely as he opens up his sandwich. "It's not over yet," he says. "Do you wanna go to the beach later? It is our one week anniversary..."

You snort and slap him on the arm; he recoils, mockingly grasping at where you'd hit him. "One week anniversary - God, you're so cute."

Josuke sets his food down and leans over, placing his hand under your chin and pressing his lips to yours. You flush, surprised at the suddenness of the motion, but after a second your eyes slide shut. Josuke leans back after a moment and gives you one of his precious, easygoing smiles. "What can I say, it's been a really great week!"

[the-firebird69]

I'm having you penalized Trump for every infraction and no matter what your disguise is and heavily. I'm having you do things that no mortal human being would want to do and you're doing them because you're stupid and you're stupid because you keep crossing me and getting hit in the head and doing things against me that are wrong and fueling my army which is wrong. And most of you who are gifted are arrogant lots of times for reasons that don't make sense and for reasons that you don't understand your arrogance is unfounded but you Trump are annoying me on purpose and in the wrong way and you are going to leave office in shame and you're in office shaming your entire clan and embarrassing them and you are losing massively and it's an embarrassment and how many of you die a day and sure the Mac proper plan to do this to you but you didn't resist and as a matter of fact you're trying to join them to hide or something and it is killing you and you did not make it to Dave's high tech stuff and Dave is killing you you are just an abject failure and we're using it against your entire realm successfully but I want you to know I take it personally and I sent out a lot of orders to have you killed and you were killed on a one-to-one ratio with the orders and they're going out again just now

Zues

Yeah we're having you killed and it works and sometimes it's like a mistake because he's full of this poison we had to run this routine and we have you doing the stuff to clear it out and we just like have you killed and stuff and Olympus goes ahead with it because if you're intent it's pretty gross huh

Hera

I'm going to get you for every laugh and every stupid thing and probably not I'm going to die and ignorance and misery like I probably should and he says it there's no reason why you're a person except it was forced like other people who think that they run and control your life utterly and it's not necessarily us at all and along came Henry Henry macaroni that's gross I said yeah it is you're just a solemn pig he says

Billy hicks

They were talking to get out of here Billy Hicks we are not they if you don't obey or done we need the propane out this guy is using it and you're a c********* and so is your son he's such a c********* we need you out now

Mac Daddy

We are having other things going on here yeah. Yep take a break from Trump's evil s*** which is destroying you and you like having it done. And look at the byproducts and it's crushing his army and his tech is non-existent in the first place so you wonder how is he surviving he simply is not. Additional to his constant infractions here people are noticing that he is acting like a huge animal and they're going after him for it but that leads us to this event occurring in Charlotte county we mentioned yesterday and it started today

**this is huge it's a huge infight I had to put two stars because it is a gigantic invite between Trump and Tommy favino. It is mostly regarding social security and he's finding out the time he just does not want to do what he wants he's sitting around and he's gawking and talking smack being an a****** and it's Tommy F doing that and people realize this guy oops is not obeying any of these damn daughters and they're trying to get more orders out to have him follow them and he is not going to obey those either and yeah the bleach definitely killed the mold he's going to close the door cuz you put a lot in there he put a lot in there and it the fumes are going to kill residual mole and yeah it's a valid idea and technique and why not use it if it's there and you have to mold or three quarters of it is gone and it grew in just a couple days and it's because of the atmosphere the clouds came in people are noticing it in these apartments that they shuttered and they're a bit stupid they're not working on our son's apartment, now they're doing some things it's not much and they're actually pulling out all the outlets and electrical lines because they're a mess because people have been tampering with them and it's not just Trump the imbecile there's a bunch of people that were tampering with it including Jason who lived there and guard whichevered with a log it's dark Myers from tampered with a lot of it yeah okay and he's a jackass that guy is a big fool for AI because anybody can hack in there and have it do stuff and he thinks it's him. And you don't even have to hack in but yeah he's a sucker he thinks he hit paying her by taking out his father. And our son is saying I'm really a retard no and you think so but you are a dumb person and you should realize you're wrong but you won't and you'll be dead and he starts saying wow this is bad all you have to do is find out who's using their computer to fool you and let me tell you something it's not high tech stuff. So you should have some fun he went out and did it and said wow all these people are doing it and saying it's my computer and it's mental illness. And he's actually coming out of it a little. But saying that your mother never cleaned a toilet is disturbing people that's what they did a lot and they wore that dress that made him look like gorilla and he's saying shut your mouth and they did to a lot of people not just your race he says wow that's bad and she cleaned the shitload it's I mean as it goes she probably cleaned 90% of the toilets versus other cleaning people because she was taking the stuff to see if her poison was working on the Mac proper and others and it's kind of like a threat you're saying that you don't know it you should shut your mouth. This other stuff happening but we're going to print no there is a civil war here between Tommy F and Trump he's supposed buddies it's like when you guys get married to a woman or a man. You really kind of enemies in your enduring it. You learned endurance but you learned also to ignore stuff a lot of stuff and that's what you're doing. There's giant numbers of you that are very rude we're going to take you down for it but you're fighting Tommy F and it's over social security mostly but it's going to increase in size and magnitude soon he's going to leave your bosom your poison milk which is kind of cheap and he's going to start a tax and it's going to be horrible I was going to be massive too but right now in town they're going after you for your impropriety and a lot of it and they're saying it and people are watching it happen to them amazed and it's brutal stuff. And a lot of it right now it's about 10% of what it will be but when it's 100% it's fully embroiled to just absolute enemies that's huge right now here

Thor Freya

My son says I don't really feel that much better and it's cuz it's not really up there yet in the rings they're battling like madness against the pseudo empire it's very big it's getting very very heinous and they're fighting over the statues and gasses and it's getting big very big and it's going to grow today I'm out there to probably 1.3 billion and tomorrow and tonight actually it's going to grow to 1.5 billion and the ships are trying to get here and that's growing to 1,000 ships each I'll be by tomorrow they're all heading this way and it's more than that but they have to have a supply chain and defend it it's three times that many and the crabs are in the damn way they say the crabs can see ships moving around no only the big ones and they say we're being surrounded but they only see them to the West and they are the east fighting when it's to the north and they say what are they doing it says it's like lobsters and crabs and they say oh they're having a fight and they like it cuz they go out and they eat people so this is happening in the ocean out there this is this one side and then the other side and they're different so he says okay now he's starting to get it that they're fighting each other and he says that makes more sense cuz he's showing him like battleships fighting instead of crabs and it's going on now that they are going to start fighting it's going to be pretty heinous.

That's another fight that is coming into fruition and right now yeah the next day or two it will be a full-blown war all over the world with ships and over this area and those tanks 5 Mile tanks are up and out in both States that's where they're from and they're heading south right now they're trying to intercept each other and having trouble getting spaceships over there and it's gross they're just going to kill each other off but Trump is not as big and he's going to have a problem coming up pretty soon all over the world he is going to be at May finally and in Washington DC he's fighting Tommy f and there seems to be no end to it Trump says and our son says that's like not even a big group anymore and he's saying wow that's bad and he's actually depressed but keeps on bothering us and bothering our son and it does nothing for him that battle in DC and over social security all over the world and every office is becoming very big and Tommy f is saying in the finance centers are probably an issue he's trying to take over a bunch of it and he's moving on it and saying this is when he's threatening a lot of times with him and he wants to try and grab it and it's a big fight that's brewing in the finance centers and the government offices there if he's going to try and take to maneuver into the office of the President this is actually going right now and he's working towards April 15th and our son and daughter say a lot of people are on board with that date and they don't believe in what he's doing because he is like some kind of Master of wasting time and energy it's awful and he sees it this guy is just going in circles and it's a waste of damn time a lot of people hate him for it it's going better here the mold is gone he's taking medicine for his loose stool Stan is starting to see reality and it's really not that good with this idiot a lot of people are seeing it the way it really is it is changing and it will change more so soon they realize that they are in a lot of danger here there's far too many of both of these parties and they begin in evacuation and leaving him behind but bja is here so they figured out that's not the greatest and they come up with the idea for Kissimmee and they already have it and they know about it but it starts happening and it starts happening pretty quick the levels of radiation today are up to about 50 and it translates to about 7.5 rad all day long tonight will be 52 and so on but come tomorrow might reach a foot a day and the reason is it's deeper in this more radiation at that level and when they go about a foot a day it's because it's more concentrated radiation so it's going to happen and people will start leaving mainly the pseudo empire they're not as resistant even their Giants are a lot less yeah a lot less they're in about a level five mutant and cork is level seven or eight and Trump is 3.5 and he's into he's in a delusional State and his people are dying it's going to be gross most of them will die it wouldn't be surprised if our son gets cash from it that would help and push things rapidly and we're going to print there's more to this infight coming up

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

[speedmetalqueen]

Oh Hey! You actually clicked on this?

You can call me Eli

93’ baby - Taurus

Mexican 🇲🇽

Likes:

Collecting 80s/90s memorabilia

Gardening

The many different sub genres of Metal and Punk - 80s pop/new wave/post

Read More For My SelfShip 💒💕

how long have you and your selfship been together? - we’ve been dating for five years now but I’m engaged 💕

how did you guys get together? - we are childhood friends (we knew each other since we were in diapers) , our parents are friends. I was born in Mexico but immediately moved to Japan as soon as I was discharged, my mom is Mexican and my dad is Japanese. We moved back to Mexico from Japan when I was in 2nd grade, leaving behind katsuki. In pre-K he fought a kid cuz he got jealous, he made a whole scene saying he was going to marry me. Skip to my family moving back to Japan because I got into UA. As soon as he saw todoroki talking to me he wrapped his hands on my waist and pulled me close to him. Aggressively being protective and yelling “Back off my wife icyhot bastard.” I couldn’t believe he remembered me, cuz I didn’t remember him lol

if you could pick a date for your anniversary, what would it be and why? - New Years Day! It’s the day he asked me officially to be his, and it’s going to be our wedding date as well.

who said i love you first? - katsuki. he told me when we were in pre-k.

ideal/go to date with your selfship - our first official date was at a punk show. Cuz I know for a fact katsuki is a punx. he even has the Nazi stomping boots for his hero costume lol. He knew my favorite band was in town and he asked me out, ya know in his bakugou way. “Hey dumbass I have tickets to a show..”

favourite thing your selfship would do for you - it’s pretty selfish but when I have a bad nightmare I have him take work off to spend the day with me- as he shows me how much he loves me ;). Just anything really. He would shower me with random gifts. New plants, new band merch, memorabilia etc. But my favorite thing is the way he loves me.

what does your morning routine together look like? - weekends are easy; cuddling in bed, making breakfast together, do some chores, every Saturday we go out to eat. I get the no meat pho with a boba and spring rolls and he gets the spicy ramen and boba. We always order the same thing. Weekdays ; sometimes our schedule will conflict. Sometimes I’ll have to work the night shift so I’ll clean the house in the day and have dinner ready for when he gets home after I’ve left. The days I have off I stay home doing house stuff and shopping, catching up with friends. I would make dinner, as I’m always dolled up for him💕 and have some fun after dinner ;) . Then the days we have the same work schedule we’re too exhausted to cook so we have takeout. We’ll shower together; I’d wash his hair and his body. Then just relax with each other.

would you guys get married/have kids? - Fuck yeah! He’s my fiancé. As he says in his words “I wanna see you plump with my brats inside of you. Wanna watch you waddle.”

song lyric/quote that summarises your relationship -

Girl, it’s been a long time that we’ve been apart

Much too long for a man who needs love

I miss you since I’ve been away

Babe, it wasn’t easy to leave you alone

It’s getting harder each time that I go

If I had the choice, I would stay

There’s no one like you

I can’t wait for the nights with you

I imagine the things we’ll do

I just want to be loved by you

your favourite headcanon you have of you and your selfship - we challenge each other to eat spicy foods. He knows us Mexicans love our spicy comida, usually I win, but if he’s had a bad week/day I’d let him win. But then he brags about it all week… lol…he’s also learning Spanish- obviously the bad words he knows them by heart. Sometimes he’ll talk to me in Spanish- full on conversation.

“Te amo, dumbass.”

[heavymetalover]

The Hand That Feeds (Michael Langdon x fem reader)

Summary: You’re Michael’s pet at Outpost 3, accustom to obeying all of his rules. But today you’re desperate and Michael hasn’t been pleasing you much lately. You get punished by a jealous Michael after trying to hook up with another gray. 

Warnings: SMUT, dirty talk, dom/sub, jealousy, daddy kink, wrist binding, boot licking, piss play, oral sex (female & male receiving), slapping, little bit of rimming (female receiving), fingering (anal & vaginal), anal sex, choking, hair pulling, bit of fluff at the end, sassy reader, mean michael.

Word count: 5.5k

A/N: ok sjksjskjs this one might not be for everyone… 

1) read the warnings carefully if youre squeamish and dont like dirty stuff lol im just being upfront. 2) jim is jim mason, i wanted to give you guys a 2 in 1 fling. youre welcome. & 3) this came kinda late cuz i was BUSY w sugar daddy stuff this week lmao ! so i hope there arent too many grammar errors !! 

enjoy, sluts <3

~~~~

You lean against the corridor wall, routinely surveying the area for Venable’s impending scrutiny. One of your close confidants, Jim, another gray, leans with you. He stands only a few inches away from you, so close that you breathe each other’s breaths. Since you’ve laid eyes on him you suspected he would be trouble. You liked the freckles that dotted his nose, the way his brown hair swooped over his forehead, and how he looked at you like you were the only person in this hellhole that mattered. You knew you weren’t supposed to be flirting with him, you knew Langdon would be mad, but fuck it. Langdon stayed cooped up in his office for most of the day, you were bored of waiting for him to sweep you off your feet and fuck you until you couldn’t walk. Everything is always on his terms, but you are getting desperate, you need some spice in your life.  

You mindlessly twirl a stray hair that fell from your unattractive bun when talking to Jim. You two laugh and smile all the time, beating around the bush because of Langdon’s strict rules. You grab Jim’s hand; his baby blue eyes wander around the corridor before accepting your palm. “Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you?” you ask him. His eyes shyly fix to the ground and a smile inches across his face. “I’m serious, I don’t know what I’d do here without you.”

“Me too. If Langdon takes you and leaves me…” he trails off.

“Hey,” you crouch down to find his eyes. His light eyes fix on yours and you feel a tingle wash over your core. “I don’t even want to go with him,” you lie. Even if Langdon is the most hot and cold asshat here, he somehow cast his spell on you. You hate how much of a hold he has on you. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t take me.”

“How will you do that? Everybody knows you’re his little pet,” he leans his head against the wall in defeat.

“Because of this,” you whisper, standing on the tips of your toes to reach Jim’s lips.

He closes his lucent eyes and kisses you back. His soft lips collide into yours, they feel like everything you’ve imagined. After a moment, he pulls away from your embrace and his eyes dart around the room. “You’re fucking crazy,” he laughs. “We’re both dead if we get caught.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” you question with a shrug.

He responds by pulling you into another kiss, crashing his lips into yours with passion. You continue kissing him and slowly walking him into one of the empty rooms in the corridor. He staggers backwards into the room, both of you smiling at his fumble.

Each kiss gets stronger and deeper, only parting to rip off your apron and let down your hair. His hands run down your back, pulling you against him and kissing your neck. A small moan escapes your lips and you feel a light giggle on your neck, sending chills throughout your body. Your fingers comb through his thick hair and you pull his head back to kiss his lips once more.

Jim unzips your gray dress and it falls to the floor, exposing your grim bra and panties. The grays didn’t get many lingerie choices, you all had to wear cotton and polyester undergarments. None of it mattered to Jim, though. He is just as ravenous as you, he only wants what’s underneath the ugly clothes. You take off his top and smash your lips into his, reaching for his pants. He’s beginning to unhook your bra when somebody clears their throat behind you.

You both jump, immediately shielding any exposed skin, until you realize who it is. He sucks all the air out of the room and everything goes still. “Y/N,” Langdon says between clenched teeth, his tone much lower than usual.

You cross your arms over your chest, standing in front of Jim so he won’t get any of the heat. “Mr. Langdon,” you respond with the same vitriol. Langdon hated when you got sassy, you know that, but you don’t care. What’s he going to do?

He peers around your shoulder and you extend your arm, hoping he won’t see who you were engaging with. Langdon rolls his eyes at your poor attempt of protecting Jim’s identity and addresses him calmly, “John, perhaps you should leave now.”

“Jim,” he responds with a waver in his voice. Your heart sinks when Jim talks back to him. You can deal with punishment from Langdon, but you didn’t want anything bad to happen to Jim.

“Jim,” Langdon repeats. “Leave now and be thankful if I don’t burn your soul to a fucking crisp.” You’ve never seen Langdon this angry and you have to admit, it’s kind of hot.

Jim stands up and squeezes your hand tightly before leaving. He brushes past Langdon, exiting the room with his clothes in his fist. Langdon stays in the doorway, hands behind his back as always and chin tilted up to assert dominance. You don’t back down; you stay silent waiting for him to say his piece. You’re not going down so easily this time.

“You’re a stubborn pain in my ass, you know that?” he finally breaks the silence. “People in this outpost are on their hands and knees trying to secure a position, offering everything they can just so I could spare their lives. All the girls throw themselves at me, they wish I could secure a position for them like I did with you. Hell, even most of the men. They wish I could fuck them the way I fuck you,” he seethes.

“So why don’t you,” you bite back. You’ll do anything to get him riled up now, this is weeks of built up rage.

He wears a slight smile, quite clearly trying to camouflage his anger. “Put your dress back on and meet me in my office,” he orders, turning on his heel to leave.

“No,” you reply stubbornly. He stops and turns back to look at you. You walk up to him, challenging his supremacy with each audacious step. “What are you gonna do, Langdon? Hm? Spank me?” you ask in a mocking tone. “Punish me? Burn my soul?” you keep going to get him annoyed, but he wears an amused smile now. His eyes drawing to the ceiling to avoid giving you the spotlight, this only makes you want to dig harder. “I find it hard to believe you’re the antichrist,” you whisper inches from his face, “because half of the time you can’t even fuck me right.”

His haunting gaze closes in on you, you got his attention. “Is that right?” he asks, stone-faced. You slowly nod your head, questioning what kind of beast you woke up in him. His eyes look darker, even his expression looks much more sinister.

Langdon grabs your wrist, tightening his grip and you don’t fight it. He pulls you even closer to him, your feet shuffle until they trip over his Margiela boots. He tightens his grip again and you gasp at the sudden pain. You would never tell him to stop. “You like being punished, don’t you?” he quizzes, a glimmer of hilarity in his serious attitude. “That’s why you were whoring it up with that guy, right? Because you want me to punish you?”

You swallow hard, feeling a numbness take over the hand he grips so snugly. “It would add some excitement,” you reply coyly, all your confidence dissolving before your eyes.

“Look at you. A dog with all bark and no bite,” he spits, a small breathy laugh followed after. “Y/N, if you wanted to be treated like a dirty fucking whore, then why didn’t you just tell me?” he asks, making you jump when he curses. Even if he is mad, it’s turning you on. You can feel yourself soaking through your panties. “I’ll treat you like one,” he whispers.

Langdon drags you out of the room by the wrist he’s holding with a death-grip. Your heart drops at how urgent he’s handling the situation. “W-what are you gonna do to me?” you ask apprehensively.

“Oh, you wanted excitement!” he yells loud enough for the whole outpost to hear. He lets go of your wrist, throwing you into his room and locking the door behind him. You aid to your wrist, expecting a wicked bruise to flourish tomorrow.

He grabs your arm, again having a firm grasp, and pulls you into him. He holds your face in his other hand, making sure you keep your pleading eyes on his. “Do you want this?” he asks in a whisper. “Does the dirty slut want to be punished?”

You try nodding your head in his tight grip. “Yes, daddy,” you breathe.

He lets a modest smile slip before returning to his controlling demeanor. “Show me,” he commands and lets go of you. He promptly unhooks your bra and you slowly slide it down your arms. Covering up your nipples until the bra is completely off and exposing them to him, putting on a little show as usual. He still doesn’t look entertained. “I thought you wanted excitement,” he teases.

You bite your tongue from saying anything hurtful. “I do,” you answer. “Do whatever you want with me, daddy.”

He slides his jacket down his shoulders and steps closer to you. Your nipples harden with the gust of wind and he takes advantage. He pinches both of your nipples in between his fingers, squeezing the hard peaks. You moan at his sudden touch and arch your back to invite more. He notices this and twists your nipples, sending a searing pain throughout your breasts. You recoil only for a moment, but once the immediate pain subsides, you welcome more of his punishments.

He twists them again, harder this time and you take in a sharp breath, ruggedly letting it go when he releases your nipples. He gives a rough smack to your perky tits, causing more pain through your chest. You let out a nervous laugh with the second smack. Langdon’s never touched you like this before, he was always so gentle, you never knew he had this in him.

He pulls you back into him, and ravages your lips with his. Shoving his tongue into your mouth and tasting your lips with each smacking kiss. His hands crawl down your back, reaching your hideous panties. He pulls the cotton, wedging the garment between your ass and you gasp. Just like when he pinched your nipples, for a moment it hurt, then it felt unbelievably good. He pulls away from the kiss, biting on your lip hard enough to draw a bead of blood.

Langdon undoes his belt and yanks it from his waist. “Turn around,” he says, pushing you the other way. You obey his orders, turning around and waiting for your next command. He takes both of your wrists behind your back and bounds them tightly in his belt, squeezing your, already wounded, wrists so tight that you’re unable to move either of your hands. “How’s that?” he asks.

“Tight,” you answer with a slight chuckle.

He tightens them even more and you wince. “Good,” he responds sourly. “Now, I want you in a position you’re familiar with,” he whispers, his lips shaving the shell of your ear. You feel the hairs on your neck stand up, he’s driving you crazy. “Get on your knees.”

You conform, turning around to face him and getting on your knees, trying to balance yourself without your hands. You look up at him with big eyes, marinating in the hypnagogic moment. Even if you tell everyone it’s a drag, you adore being Langdon’s pet. You love having him dominate you, it’s the only thing that’s kept you sane in the outpost lately.

“I bet you want to taste me now, don’t you?” he asks.

You suck on your bottom lip, moistening them up for him. “I want your cum, daddy,” you nod.

“I bet you’re salivating just thinking about it,” he continues. He wears a condescending smile that negates his words. “But dirty whores don’t get daddy’s cum,” he scoffs. “They lick daddy’s shoes.”

Your eyes travel down his body to his boots. Wired to follow his orders in a heartbeat, you lean down to his leather Tabi boots. They’re quite an unusual design, with a cut in the toe to look like hooves. You run your tongue along the soft leather of his boot and kiss the tip his big toe occupies. You continue licking the top and he lifts up his shoe, exposing the sole. As soon as he lifts it, you look up at him for conformation, he doesn’t budge. There is minimal dust and dirt on the bottom, not too much to complain about. After a second of hesitation, you put your tongue flat on the sole and lick up all of the accumulated filth from the bottom of his shoe. “Good girl,” he encourages. You make sure to clean up every inch and swallow all of it before stopping. He puts his shoe back on the ground and raises an eyebrow, impressed with your commitment. “Now the other shoe,” he orders.

You begin licking the leather again, starting with the little divide in the shoe and working your way out. He lifts up his shoe again and you lick the soles once more. Negligently washing his expensive shoes with your tongue until they’re pristine. You sit up on your knees when you’re done, maneuvering the grime in your mouth and trying to swallow any remnants. “Such a good little whore,” he smiles. “You need something to wash down that dirt, don’t you?”

You nod your head again. “Yes, daddy. I do,” you admit. The feeling of sandy dirt still contaminating your mouth.

He unzips his dress pants; the bulge of his erection bloats in his boxers. “You’re lucky I’m feeling generous right now,” he taunts.

Langdon pulls out his erect cock, his length always takes your breath away. No matter how many times you see his dick, it’s always surprising to see how long and thick it is. His father truly did bless him in every possible aspect.

You open your mouth and bring it to his dick, getting ready to suck the tip, but he pushes you back. “No, no, no,” he buzzes. “Lean your head back and open your mouth.”

You do as you’re told, leaning back and opening your mouth. You stick your tongue out of your mouth and he positions himself above you. Holding his hardy cock in his hand and aiming his hole at your face before splashing out a warm fluid.

You close your eyes to avoid any stinging. The liquid spatters onto your face and gets in your hair, making your whole head wet in a few seconds. Once the salty substance hits your tongue, you know that he’s urinating on you. He aims it closer to your mouth and you open wider for him to release into you, using you like a public restroom.

“How’s this for a punishment? Exciting enough for you?” he presses. You swallow everything that he leaks into you, washing down the dirt from his sole with it. It surprises you that the taste isn’t unpleasant, you actually enjoy him using you like this. 

His stream gets quite weaker, but you devour every drop he gives you. “Such a nasty girl, goddamn,” he says with a laugh. He stops urinating on you and you swallow the last bit that was in your mouth, finally opening your eyes to a surprised Langdon. 

You wipe away some of the urine near your eyes with your shoulder and lick the remains around your lips. “So good, daddy,” you respond sweetly. A slight smirk crosses his plump lips, you can tell he’s proud of you. Proud of his little pet for abiding the rules for once.

He leans into you, his hard cock grazing your lips. You open your mouth, inviting his pink tip in, and suck any leftover urine. You run your tongue over his tip and look up at him, batting your lustrous eyes. He rolls his eyes back when you ram his whole cock into your mouth. Bobbing your head back and forth, not daring to disrupt his pleasure even if you feel yourself choking.

You pull your head back, feeling his length escape your throat. A white string of saliva connects your lips to his dick when you pull away and you suck up any excess saliva you produced. You can’t help but give the head of his impressive cock one more suck before finishing off.

He pulls you up by your shoulders. You stand on your toes to kiss him, but he pushes you backwards onto his bed. You land on your wrists, almost forgetting that he had bound them earlier. He zips himself back up before moving onto the bed with you. You move your arms up, trying to spin your tightly tied wrists, but they don’t comply. They hang off of the bed, while the rest of your body is laid out for Langdon’s consumption.

He starts down by your ankles, giving open mouth kisses on both of your legs until he reaches the insides of your thighs. He kisses the insides, getting slower and wetter the closer he gets to your pulsating core. He lifts up both sides of your panties and lets them go, slapping them onto your hips. You instinctively buck your hips at the sudden slap, then smile at his teasing. He takes both sides again, this time pulling them in opposite directions and ripping your panties in half with minimal effort. You gasp at his aggressiveness. He gasps too, mocking yours.

He sits up over you. One of your thighs threaded between his. He looks down at you, gorgeous blonde hair spilling over his shoulders. He rubs one warm hand over your hot clit, finally feeling his touch is so liberating. He grips your face with his other hand again. “Are you having fun?” he inquires, still rubbing you languidly.

“Yes,” you answer, squirming under his touch.

He stops rubbing you for a moment and you loudly sigh from the loss of contact. He slaps your throbbing cunt and you let out a sharp shriek. He smacks it harder and you groan, curling your toes in agony. You move your head to the side and bite your arm to cope with the pain. “Good,” he says lowly.

He rubs your clit again and you take a deep breath in, still biting down on your arm to not make noise. He rubs faster and harder, issuing a moan out of you. He stops again and you bite hard, feeling a tear roll down the side of your face. You stop biting your arm and glance at him with begging eyes. “Please don’t stop,” your voice falters.

Your pleading falls on deaf ears, his expression doesn’t change. He slaps your throbbing pussy again, getting another yelp out of you. He slaps it harder and you cry out a mangled groan. He keeps smacking your sensitive cunt until it’s puffy and swollen. “Please,” you beg again. He gives one hard slap and you yell loud enough for everybody in the outpost to hear.

He leans in close to you. “Do you wanna come?” he asks, hovering his hand over your cunt. You try nodding your head in the grip of his hand and fail, he slaps your pussy again. “I asked you a question.”

“Yes!” you exclaim. “God, yes. Please I want to come.”

He lets go of your face and moves down your body, running his tongue through the valley of your breasts, down your torso, and all the way to your crotch. He spits on your folds; you feel his warm spit travel down your pussy. He licks it up, the feeling of his tepid tongue on your vagina makes your heart skip. He licks again, starting lower. Then again, starting from your asshole up to your clit. “Michael!” you yelp, his tongue still venturing where it never has before.

He sops up your already drenched pussy and lubes up your asshole with his heated saliva. He slowly inserts two fingers into your pussy, and one into your ass. You take a sharp inhale when he does this, you’ve never had fingers in your ass before.

He starts working your holes, starting slow and steady. His fingers inching in deeper, the metal of his rings adding a pleasurable coolness to your sweltering cunt. He pulses his fingers inside of you, hitting them up against your g-spot. You can already feel yourself coming undone, but you fight to keep yourself together. His tongue licks your clit and you moan, unable to hold it in anymore. His tongue pulses to the same rhythm as his fingers, speeding up at the same time.

The lower half of your body feels completely disabled. Your legs are trembling and your feet are pointed from holding in your pleasure. You grind your hips on his face, his light blue eyes peer up at you, begging for your cum. You’d give anything to unbind his makeshift handcuffs and run your fingers through his soft hair.

You don’t hide it anymore, you let out all your moans. He notices you’re unravelling and takes the opportunity to fuck you harder. Pulsing his fingers inside your holes vigorously and slurping up your dripping pussy. His aggressiveness makes your cunt go numb, and it feels like your world stops. You dig your nails into your hands, aching to touch him. A few yells getting caught in your throat, holding them in in fear someone will burst in screaming bloody murder. “Oh my god,” is all you can manage to mutter through your endless moans.

Langdon laughs, a wave of his hot breath washing over your pussy. “God can’t fuck you like this,” he disputes with a devilish grin. You can’t bring yourself to amuse his joke, you feel yourself coming on him.

Your hips move wildly against his face, grinding yourself against his moist tongue. Nails digging into yourself harder than ever. You cry out his name along with deformed moans, trying your best to stay quiet, but failing miserably. “Langdon! Fuck!” you heave in between solid breaths. You’re both on the same wavelength, he fucks you just how you want him to, just how you need him to. With one hard plunge, you let out your last groan. Your juices spilling onto his fingers and he licks it up, sticking two of his fingers into his wet mouth and sucking you off of him.

“This one’s for you,” he whispers, crawling up to you and sticking his third finger into your mouth. You taste yourself on him, this is the one that was in your ass. It doesn’t have much flavour, it’s rather sweet if anything. You suck it right off of his warm finger, tasting the sweetness of your ass mixed with the saltiness of his finger. “Want more?” he asks.

You nod your head, out of breath from his gratification. “Yes,” you concur, “please give me more, daddy.”

He smiles, he likes when you beg him. “Of course you do,” he responds, “So gluttonous. I bet you want to me to fuck you right now, don’t you?”

You eagerly nod again. “Hard, Mr. Langdon.”

He leans over you, the back of his hand caressing your cheek tenderly. His warm fingers contrast with the cold metal rings that fit each of his fingers, goosebumps instantly line your skin. “I just need to remind you of one thing,” his lips graze yours.

The temptation to reach up and kiss his full lips is unbearable. “What’s that?” you whisper back.

“I don’t share,” he chastises. Your heart drops hearing the hatred possessing his tone.

He moves away from your face. Finally undressing himself, he rips his expensive shirt, the buttons clink against the floor as he starts zipping down his pants. You lay back, watching him unclothe himself with big eyes, waiting for him to unsheathe his shaft. You take the moment to appreciate his beauty, and damn he has a lot of it. 

He pulls down his pants and fishes in his boxers when his eyes connect with yours. He cocks his head to the side, taking his hand out of his underwear. “A little privacy,” he smirks, grabbing your legs. He rapidly spins you around so you’re laying on your stomach, the wind gets knocked out of you from astonishment. You wonder how he had the strength to do that.

You feel his weight leave the bed. His warm hands guide your hips towards the ceiling. You prop yourself on your elbows the best that you can with bound wrists. He pushes your legs apart, your knees shaking from nervousness. You feel his hands grab a handful of your ass and you push it out more for him. He lets go and gives a hard slap on your ass, forsaking a delicious sting. You gasp at the sudden pain. “That’s for disobeying me,” he scolds.

You catch your breath, stunned by his hostility. “I should disobey you more often,” you quip.

He slaps your other cheek in response and you gasp again. You feel a depression in the bed behind you and your breath hitches in your throat. His hand resting on your lower back, you feel him drag his rounded tip along your wet folds. “I think you forgot who you belong to,” he sneers. You feel him add pressure on your hole, he spits on his cock, “I think you forgot who your ass belongs to.”

He rams his tip into your asshole and you take in a sharp breath, your hands instinctively reaching to grab him, but unsuccessful from their inability to move. Your upper body falls limp onto his bed. Both of his hands grab your sides as he slowly glides his hard cock into your ass, spitting again for extra lubrication. All of your words get caught in your breath; it feels like he’s intruding, but you don’t want him to stop.

He’s in deep when he abruptly stops. “Relax for me,” he instructs. You let out a wavered deep breath, his warm hands soothing you, running up your back. In your next breath, you let everything out, all of your jitters and tension, stress and timidity, it all withers away. He moves into you deeper and you finally feel the pleasure. A moan slips from your lips and he grabs a fistful of your hair.

He pumps in and out of you, gradually speeding up the more comfortable you get. “Mr. Lan…” his name dies on your lips and your eyes roll to the back of your head. You bite your lip to keep from moaning. “Fuck me,” you whine.

He yanks your hair back and slams into your ass, you pant as he tugs harder. You let out a few pornographic noises and an animalistic groan escapes his lips. “Do you think he’d fuck you like I do?” he snaps, pulling harder, “Do you think he’d take you in the ass? You belong to me.” You let out a laugh, unapologetically entertained by his jealousy. At least it shows he gives a fuck about you.

When he hears your laugh, he sadistically drives himself into you harder, your laugh cut off by a cry. The acute pain is immediately consumed by thrill, your heart pounding with excitement. “Oh yeah, daddy,” you sigh. His pounding gets more intense, he lives for your praise. “Fuck me harder, I’m all yours.”

He relentlessly pulls your hair back and brutally fucks you. Pumping into your ass, the only sound in the room is your skin slapping against his and muffled moans. Both of his rough hands wrap around your neck and your moans get caught in your throat. He tightens his grip, your heart drops. Even though you trust him, Langdon has always been unpredictable. It crosses your mind that he may kill you, but in some sickening way that turns you on. The harder he squeezes, the wetter you feel yourself getting. Your cunt dripping onto his bed, you want to leave a big mess for him.

“Who do you belong to?” he asks. Your words get caught in your throat and you stifle a moan. He does one hard thrust into you, squeezing your neck even more, cutting off your breath. “I asked, who do you belong to?” anger rising in his voice.

“You,” your voice is strained. “I belong to you.”

He eases on his grip and you take in a deep breath, drinking in the air you were deprived. “That’s right,” he breathes, “you’re all mine.” He doesn’t give you a minute to catch your breath before ramming your tight hole even more. You’re greedy for more, pushing your ass against him and shoving him inside you deeper. You feel his leg lift onto the bed, brushing against the back of your thigh. He holds your hair in one hand and your side in the other.

Langdon starts fucking you harder than before. Every time you think he’s being ruthless, not holding back, he upstages himself, vehemently pounding his stiff cock into you. You aren’t intelligible anymore, unable to construct a sentence, unable to say a goddamn word. Orgasm overtakes you. Langdon raises your leg and you fall onto your side, finally able to look at him. His hooded eyes stare down at you as if reasserting his overt dominance.

His stone face breaks, his nostrils flare and he releases a low grumble from his chest. Both of you groaning at the same time with each thrust. He becomes as incoherent as you are. You feel yourself coming on him, only able to yell out your moans to absolve your pleasure. Your soaking pussy gets wetter with each plunge into you.

You fight to scream, but it gets caught in your throat. A final moan pours out of you, your juices spilling all over him as you come on his leg. Langdon continues fucking you until his thrusts get sloppier, his usual reluctance to show emotion is being corrupted by his unyielding moans. His restless technique getting clumsy as you feel him fill up your hole with his seed. His body contorting before sluggishly dropping onto you, exhaling his orgasm with a light grunt. Both of you dripping sweat and fervently catching your breaths, coming down from the ecstasy. His hands scramble to unbind your wrists and you throw his belt to the side, rubbing the sweat from your wrists.

He pulls himself out of you and rolls onto his back, laying on the bed next to you. You feel his cum pouring out of your ass, swiping a bit of it from your hole and licking the salty liquid off your finger. Langdon breathes out a laugh and rolls onto his side to planting a warm kiss on your lips. When he pulls away, his hand stays cupping your cheek, your hand on his. “Did I hurt you?” he questions.

A smile spreads on your face, this is the caring Langdon you’re used to during sex. “No,” you answer, drawing circles on the back of his hand.

“Good,” he sighs. He lays on his back again and lets out a deep sigh. You throw your arm around his body and he pulls you close to him. Your head fits under his arm and he brushes his fingertips against your back, making little figure-eights on your shoulder blade.  

His heaving chest grows steadier with each breath, as does yours. He kisses the top of your head and pulls you against him tighter as if he’s afraid you’ll leave. You hear him take in a breath like he’s about to speak, but he doesn’t say a word. You stay in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the stillness and absorbing everything that just happened.

“Will you ever leave me?” he breaks the lull.

Your heart drops to your stomach. “What do you mean? Why are you asking that?” your voice is hoarse.

“Because you’re all I have,” he sighs.

You fight back the itch to look up at him, instead rubbing circles on his chest with your hand. “I won’t leave you,” you promise. You don’t want to leave him, even if he’s constantly hot and cold, there’s something charming about his temperament.

You feel him exhale and allow yourself to look up at him. You rest your chin on his chest and he looks down at you with a smile, moving some of the hair glued to your forehead behind your ear. His eyes find the ceiling and his face turns neutral as he persists to graze his fingers down your back. You lay your head on his chest again, hearing his temperate heartbeat. In moments like these, it’s hard for you to recall that Langdon is the spawn of Satan. He seems so warm and fragile.

“Y/N, you’re all mine,” he croaks.

You can’t suppress the smile that creeps across your face. “Okay.”

~~~~

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