#cword

[garden-gno-thanks]

I wish i had a cursed sword.

i could absolutely handle a cursed sword

[jollyrancher33]

What this means is......she is going to have him killed.

[sugashook]

DEADPOOL 3 IS PRIDE AND PREJUDICE PART 2.

elizabeth finds mr darcy barely tolerable and mr darcy finds her that as well, plus not handsome. she absolutely finds him a horrible conversationalist, while she's extremely extroverted and chatty. but everybody loves him and finds him handsome, while her mom is hurrying to marry her off to anyone.

logan/mr darcy keeps doing and saying the wrong things, they escape his mouth, he kicks himself almost after every sentence.

they constantly butt heads

'I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony. I love you.'

wade is in every way inferior to logan, his family is embarrassing and ridiculous just like him, just like elizabeths is. their joining would be advantageous for WADES family[the entire point of the movie]. he's putting all that aside for wade. and falling in love with him!!!!!!

he literally lived in a mansion just like mr darcy. while wade is a financial burden to his mom.

and then like AN HOUR and 30 minutes into the movie mr darcy is made to laugh by elizabeth

ok end of very important.....double feature...this is it now...

There was a mr darcy aka paradox right outside of wades universe and he snatched wade up literally literally took him by surprise from where he wasn't even ready and stole him from his universe that's canon

[frociaggina97]

yo despues de mandar cv hasta para mostrar cword en onlyfans: ai espero llegar a comprar unos ladrillos

[carmivne]

saca otro armado de su estuche y se lo lleva a la boca, aunque la sonrisa que se forma en sus labios amenaza con hacer que se le caiga. menea la cabeza. ' lo siento rafaela, estoy casado con el cine. ' lo dice con una convicción que cualquiera que lo escuchara pensaría que acaba de hacer una película merecedora del oscar. una vez más, niega. pero esta vez está un poco sorprendido. creería que su nombre ha alcanzado incluso tierras españolas. ' director, de hecho — ¿de verdad no estabas al tanto o estás jugando conmigo? tengo que admitir que me duele solo un poquito. ' se lleva una mano al corazón, con la otra se enciende el cigarrillo finalmente. da una calada corta, después se ríe. ' sí que te envié. ' insiste. aparta el cilindro y mordisquea apenas su labio inferior. ' —pero por email, no por correo físico. solo estaba intentando ser romántico. nunca sé dónde estás, de hecho. ' admite. vuelve a fumar, expulsa el humo en dirección contraria y se le acerca unos centímetros de más. ' ¿qué pasa, estás escapándote de la ley? no es muy inteligente de tu parte venir acá si es así. los buchanan duermen con pistolas. '

da calada a cigarro ahora que blondo le ayuda y deja que el humo le de aquella falsa sensación de relajo en lo que le observa. su ceja derecha va al alza en lo que expulsa humo en dirección de la figura masculina " ah, un caballero como siempre, ¿tan linda como para querer ser mi novio otra vez? " hay ciertos tintes de diversión en su voz, carmine ya sabiéndola leer a esas alturas cree " ¿cómo? ¿la hiciste? ¿o ahora eres actor? ya, me lo veo un poco, a lo dicaprio " la verdad es que la española prefirió distancia instantánea con los que fueron compañeros, por lo que no sabe realmente en qué está cada uno actualmente. da otra calada, soltando una risa corta después " de seguro no me enviaste nada, mentiroso, ni siquiera sabes en qué rincón estaba "

[saturcore]

chicas update hicimos cita. les bloggeo recién cworded por horas man i love bring a lesbian les hablo mañanaaas

[abstrusearchive]

Anthony is Dead: The Funeral Roast - Amanda Lehan-Canto AKA The Fortune Teller

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(Amanda walks up to the podium. She looks down, then startles and looks back up)

The Fortune Teller: (Looking at Anthony) Hello! Hi! Greetings! Hi!

The Fortune Teller: I’m Angelica Angela LaCroix. I am a medium, but at the Atlantic City T-shirt Shop I’m an (?) and I don’t understand it. It’s insane, yes it’s weird, their sizes are weird.

The Fortune Teller: I’m here to deliver messages to (gestures towards Anthony) this boy. This wonderful, beautiful, handsome little boy-boy, this little boy, who grabbed a bunch of lipsticks to contour all over and called them tattoos.

The Fortune Teller: I have the messages, from the beyond! The beyond! And not just the beyond, the (?) too! Ha! Ow! 

The Fortune Teller: I’m kidding, that was a medium joke.

The Fortune Teller: Okay, before we start I just wanna say- (starts swating around) I’ve got cobwebs all over me, this is outrageous. 

The Fortune Teller: (turns towards Anthony) I just wanna say, you’re not really dead, ok, and it’s very- it’s very offensive to the dead community. (gestures at Anthony) Look at you, you’re in a full blown ghostface! And you’ve got a past with brownface - “Anthony is mexican?”, 15 million views! (turns sharply towards audience) Look it up! Look it up!

The Fortune Teller: … Hi, hello! How is everybody? (glances at Anthony) Oh, good, I woke your guy up. (pulls out deck of cards)

The Fortune Teller: Okay- (swats around) Stop it, get off!

The Fortune Teller: Now, I think the question we all have for this, this little rotten little beefcake, little boy boy-boy… Is he at peece? Is Anthony actually at peece right nyow? (starts shuffling the cards)

The Fortune Teller: Well, we have to find out. And the only way to find out is to ask the cwords. The cwards. (brings up the deck) The tarot cwards.

The Fortune Teller: (turns towards Anthony) Okay? I’ll pull these for you, honey. (turns back) *sigh*

The Fortune Teller: So I am your guide. I’m your guy to the guide to the stars to the guy to the star, (gestures at herself) guide, (gestures at the audience) star. *sigh* Here we go. (pulls out the card)

The Fortune Teller: First cward… Oh! (shows the card) The Fool! This is a very very very good cward, okay? The Fool is definitely your younger self. It’s your younger self that saw the sketch “Bigfoot is Gay” with guest special Shayne Topp would age well! (looks directly at the camera) 9.4 million views, look it up! Look it up!

The Fortune Teller: *heavy sigh* It didn’t. (looks down and pulls out another card)

The Fortune Teller: The next cward… Oh. The Empress. This is a very very very good cward, okay? So this cward represents abundance of wealth, wealth and spiritual satisfaction. Which is interesting, because you bought this watch company and it started begging for handouts! (does a surprised face while looking around)

The Fortune Teller: I love Smosh, they’re very funny and I’m being paid to be here. (looks down)

The Fortune Teller: *starts gasping and grunting* Oh! Oh! I got chills, oh my god I got chills! I’ve got spirit chills! 

The Fortune Teller: Oh, there’s something happening! (looks and gestures towards other participants) Oh my goodness! You’re- you’re Shayne, right? There’s something right behind you - it is your TV career. (waves around in his direction) Okay? Okay? Okay, stick with me here, buddy. It’s your TV career and it’s dead, it’s dead. It’s done. (points at him) Don’t look at it, It’ll bum you out, alright? I’m here to protect you, alright?

The Fortune Teller: Very good. (looks down and pulls out another card) Sorry about that.

The Fortune Teller: Oh! Another cward, this is a very very good card. Okay, so this is The Ten of Cups, okay? And this is a positive sign that you have reached completion and satisfaction on your journey- (looks down) Oh. Oh! It’s reversed, it means none of your partners have ever reached completion. Look it up! Look it up. (looks down and pulls out another card)

The Fortune Teller: Oh! Oh, The Lovers card. (gestures at Anthony) This is not for you honey, I’m getting a- I’m getting a- Oh. (shows card to the room) This is a card to little friends that go by Rhett and Link, okay? Okay, Rhett and Link. It’s your love, but it’s also love for the bullying of every member of your staff, alright?

The Fortune Teller: Oh, another spirit chill! (points) Chanse. It’s someone you need to look off. It’s someone who doesn’t serve you anymore. It’s Straight Chanse. Okay? You don’t need him anymore honey, it doesn’t take a psychic to know who you're gonna bed with, okay? Look it up! (looks down)

The Fortune Teller: Okay, okay… (pulls out a card) Okay, King of Hearts? This is for Anthony, a known ladies man… King of Fuorts, this is clearly for Ian.

The Fortune Teller: King of Fuorts. Fuorts. And Ian I can read your thoughts right now, no, I’m not producing milk. (looks down, then startles and looks at the back)

The Fortune Teller: There’s a man! There’s a man in the corner with a beard, oh my god, whos that? Steven (?) . This is for Angela. He says you’re a brilliant performer and that you deserve Broadway, and he can’t wait to see you eating sriracha tampons on Smosh Pit Next time!

The Fortune Teller: In conclusion! Smosh is a very sexless place, okay? And Anthony brought a lot of sexappeal and structure, (looks at Anthony) and are you at peece?

The Fortune Teller: Hello? Are you at peece? Are you’ peece? Anthony, are you at peece?

The Dead: Y-yup.

The Fortune Teller: (turns back sharply) Great! … *heavy sigh*

The Fortune Teller: Thank you guys, that’s my time. You guys should have appetizers or at least a pot full of mea- meatballs! Don’t google me!

(Amanda walks down from the podium. On her place walks up The Will)

.

Previous | Whole | Next

[benniett]

listen, i'm just saying that bonnie and klaus could've been such a great dynamic in the show that wasn't explored bc jplec is a racist cword

[drbarty]

Dwoc hewlp

Dis is stoopwid bwut I wuz infwected wiff teh UwU viwus

It is heviwy contwagus

Pwease

I cwan bawley fweel mwy vwocal cwords.

Oh dear, I've only seen a case this bad once before. I'm afraid there's no helping it... You must follow these instructions vewy, vewy cawfully. Dis is youw once chance. Don't mess it up!

[kmixon]

Hailey is a....BUFFON!!!

Hailey is a BIG BUFFON IN THIS EPISODE, and YOU know in the SUDENT OF THE WEEK!🫨🫨🫨 THERE'S A LOT OF Surprise SURPRISING IN THIS EPISODE.....🫨🫨🫨

Like Cristine Sanchez:

Hailey's CALL OUT She Adore to be popular! Cristine is feeling hurt out of the count. Cristine, get you back..... 😠😠😠

Next is Lucy Morgan:

Lucy Morgan is unlucky.... What is New😒😒😒 Stop! What is unlucky with Lucy Morgan she bittersweet lucky with HER!!!

Becker Denoga and Scott:

We don't see Becker on the episode she need mention in this episode. Becker wants to be known! Hailey CALLED OUT ON HIS FACE. Scott is not MAD.....😡😡😡 ON HIS SISTER 🤨 NOT CWORD OUT, No Embarred🤨! SCOTT IS GOLDEN CHILD! BOTH SCOTT & BECKER, POOR SIBLINGS 😢

[weaselbeaselpants]

Since I don't want to link it back to two scenarios so...um...immediate, I'll just say; the "Suffering just makes you hurt"-mantra is one I def subscribe to in day to day life, even in small, trivial' things like fandomwars.

I had a person get pissed at me once cuz I defended antishippers. They explained and showed me how they'd been harassed and abused by antis for no reason other than calling themselves a proshiper - no, NOT for actually liking anything with r@pe/cest/p3doshipping - just Reylo *in theory*. They got treated like a literal predator not for anything they actually did but for the title that genuine creeps have decided to use for their kink as this person did for their safe shit and they got blasted for it....and then this person proceeded to call me a cword and accused me of condoning their abuse by proxy of me saying " I don't think antis are inherently evil, actually".

I get it. When you put up with harassment from people touting their selfdeclared fandomom as some kind of badge of honor, of COURSE I understand turning your back on everyone who calls themselves that same thing! That's just, like, a survival instinct. You don't want to be reminded of your tormentor(s) because you really shouldn't have to be reminded of your tormentor(s) while you're browsing fandumb inbetween school or work. You want to keep your tormentors at bay so no triggering shit ppl are romanticizing or covert bigotry someone's hiding under the language of criticism to get in the way of your vibes when this is your fandom and your space to be creative and unwind and be you. I really get it.

The problem is, and the reason I DON'T put up with antianti or antiproshipper shit, that's labeling a whole lot of strangers inherently bad over not having the exact fandom takes and conflating that with your legitimate ethics of outing predators and bigots...THAT is what's shitty.

I know for a fact that not all the people who tag their shit #proship even fully agree on what proship means. I know they are not all predators or even don't care about predators being in their fandoms. Trust me, they care. Some of the #antiship folks I know are the most lax mf w it comes to content warnings, horror, kinks and nuance and also really hate call out posts and want to avoid them as much as they can. I know they are not all self-righteous prudes and bigots trying to get kink out of pride or some shit. THAT SAID- if I haven't already seen creepypredatorybs from proshippers or bigotedbully-tactics from antis, I can definitely believe those things exist in those spaces. But again, those behaviors exist whether or not a person uses these self-given labels. You shouldn't throw your hands in defeat anymore then your shouldn't declare yourself the sole liberator.

Blocked the proshipper-stan I was of talking about because I kind of don't like being called a cant and told I'm okay with death threats...just like I did the antishipper who was sending me death threats that same day =). I know I don't have to deal with that bs and I'm glad I took that advice from a mutual abt my own personal boundaries.

Call out shitty behavior all you want, but the absolutist-rhetoric is not healthy and, more importantly, not doing anything to help people being abused by fandomculture anymore than you were when you first got accosted for disliking a thing that made you upset/liking a thing that made someone else upset. You gotta share your fandom with everyone so long as they're not bigoted, abusive or predatory. And yeah, I kind of reserve all those notions for people I can tell ARE doing those things...so, y'know Lily Orchard.

[phantom-w0lfbane]

i get REALLY jumpy when my family goes to crowded places I pace in ciricles around every one like stay here please but when its not cworded I'm like ,yeah do ur own thing, just leave me be

you call it "being the mom of the friend group" i call it "livestock dog behavior"

[yourcomedyminute]

The Full Interview With Tim Rager #StandUp #Comedian #Writer #NewJersey #TopComic #Award #Winner #GoodKarmaComedyFestival #Headliner #UncleVinnies #JoeyCocoDiaz #Quit #Learn #Host #Crowdwork #Teach #Patient #Favorite #JerseyCity #Petshop #Basement #OpenMic #Impress #Loose #VicDibitetto #Older #Italian #Jewish #Girls #AnneFrank #Edibles #MeetAndGreat #Phone #Depression #Dad #Knee #Surgery #Pain #Medicine #Marijuana #RhodeIsland #High #Weed #Legal #Home #Mom #Cancer #Laughing #LouisCK #Parents #Grandma #Dementia #Hockey #Goalie #Pants #Kids #CWord #Chemo #Team #Doctors #Brother #YouTube #MitchHedberg #NormMacdonald #JimBreuer #AlexGrubard #NickFierro #FrancoDanger #AlexNicholas #LauraLifshitz #LastName #FirstName #Timmy #Lassie #SouthPark #Cool #Abducted #JoeScrocca #Philadelphia #Bomb #City #Family #Instagram #Facebook #Utica #SethRuddick #New #Joke #Bits #Story #Glad #Dating #Nightmare #Door #Cats #Crazy #Women #Mushrooms #KanyeWest #Runaway #Pants #Dark #Live #Stream #Humor #Funny #fyp #TimRager 

If you would like to be a guest on Your Comedy Minute please contact me

[hackernewsrobot]

An Interview with Bill Watterson (1987)

http://timhulsizer.com/cwords/chonk.html

[chenyuvale]

Are u in my phone? Because 😏 biting you now

ejchehchdc no dont do that i might cword