#didnt say much just acknowledged each other ^^

[yunalinwrites]

one of my fav kdramas (called youre beautiful) is abt a girl joining a boy band and pretending to be a boy ohshc style except her fellow members dont know and she has to somehow live with them while hiding it 😭 it's so wattpad i love

so imagine being fem!reader sharing a dorm with the saja boys while trying not to get found out

of course u cant hide forever tho so this is how i think you'd get found out and how they'd react:

❓ mystery knew from the start. you didnt realize he was scrutinizing you so closely bc of them fuck ass bangs but from the day you met he could tell just by looking at you. but, much like he does about everything, he kept quiet because he didnt want to freak you out. he found it cute though, every time you'd slip up and get all flustered trying to cover up why you were staring at the dresses at the mall or why you were caught buying pads. so, he'd just smile, pat your head, and calmly help you make excuses. if you walk into the wrong room at the wrong time he'll quietly direct you to a gender neutral bathroom or drape a towel over your eyes whenever the guys got too... carefree in the locker room. lowk helps you hide it from the other members bc he likes it being his little secret

🍼 baby also found out pretty early but also like not really? he walked in on you in the bathroom once and was like "mb" and then he thought about it and was like "wait a sec..." but then he just shrugged it off. and since then for a while in the back of his head he would catch the way you walk or the way you sit or the way your eyelashes look against your cheek and for a split second would think like "is he a chick?" but he never really came to a conclusion bc he just dont gaf. dude or not he treats you pretty much the same. once everyone else starts figuring it out tho thats when he starts acknowledging it. now that everyone else seems to treat you differently as a girl, he starts questioning how to feel or act around you...

💪 abby started rough housing with the other boys and tried to pull you in. lifted you up and not only were you lighter than he expected, your bodies were right up against each other. you did your best to bind your tits down but when you were chest to chest like this it was still noticeable. he awkwardly puts you down and scratches the back of his neck, mumbling an apology. for the next few days his brain is fried thinking about it. he never verbally acknowledges it but he starts being super gentle around you and treating you like you're fragile. feels the need to protect you physically, even if its against the other boys. always keeping watch to make sure they're gentle with you as well.

✨ jinu overhears you out yourself on the phone somehow and is so mad and so flustered at the same time. he's afraid you're going to be a liability if the fans find out and its gonna be a pain to hide but behind all that anger he's just scared of women fr. blushes every time he remembers you're a girl. every time you end up together alone in the living room or catch each other in the hallway, brushing each others shoulders in the slightest, he turns bright red and freaks tf out. somehow though he finds it easier to connect with you emotionally as a girl. with other guys it sometimes feels weird to be vulnerable, but you don't seem to have that shame at all. he admires it. gwi ma probably forced you into this situation so he empathizes with you.

🫶 romance liked to ask you all the time about your love life. asking what your type is, ideal date, dream wedding, do you want kids, etc. you figured it would be safest to just pretend you were a straight dude who liked girls. he wouldnt have cared though. he was starting to feel a little something for you even before you revealed yourself as a girl but refrained from going down that route to stay professional. but when you do reveal yourself as a girl it starts to get even harder to keep that boundary.

🥤 overall once they figure it out none of them tell each other or really say it aloud bc of the implications it has. but they all show it through actions like making sure you're fed and hydrated, letting you use the shower first, asking you if you need a break during rehearsal, etc. but trust, once they all start offering to help you at the same time--like all of them reaching to lend you their marker during fan signings when yours goes dry or surrounding you with 5 different choices of hoodie when you mention you're cold--they start getting real jealous and possessive real soon; they all want to be the one and only you rely on.

eventually though when they all reveal that they all know and everyone's on the same page, they start working together to protect you. all 5 of them wrapped around ur finger 😋 but still fighting for your attention

a/n: ugh i wish i had time/energy to do this properly along w all my other fics for kpdh (this movie has taken over my life) but idk i prob wont LOLL if anyone else wants to build off of this plz go ahead and tag me

[ikiyou]

On any given day in Yokohama you might run into Dazai.

Or Akutagawa, or Chuuya, or anyone else for that matter.

[alicentsgf]

shauna is a bad person because she was a good one and its fucking fascinating. "I didnt start out a bad person" is one of the Best lines in the show because it sums her up so succinctly and melanie lynskeys delivery is a gut punch

she naturally cares so much about people thats literally why shes like this. she was always flawed (impulsive, self-destructive, etc) but there were so many moments in season 1 where she went out of her way to be kind. its why she cant ever accept anythings her fault because deep down she feels so much of it is and if she ever acknowledges that even slightly its over. too much has happened and she cares too deeply for it to not totally fucking destroy her. she had to lie to herself to survive. its why her subconcious regularly revives the person she loved most just to say mean things to her. it is the worst punishment shauna can imagine and so thats exactly what her imagination delivers. at least then its someone else saying it. it means she can still hide from herself. pretend the punishment isnt self-inflicted. as an adult she creates her own demons. no one damaged the breaks or locked the fridge, it was always only her. she even kills the one person who helped her feel happy and free for the first time in 25 yrs just because he seemed too good to be true. ghost jackie warning her on the bridge that someone was going to get hurt was shaunas own mind creating a self-fufilling prophecy. it couldnt end well, shes not allowed to be happy (she had to make sure)

even the awful things we see shauna doing this season as a teenager, the person she's become, came about because of how much she cared. in keeping them all alive, she destroyed her entire sense of self. she emerges from it all convinced she's a terrible person now so she should just accept it. embody it. and shes so full of pain and rage that its so easy. someone needed to be okay with the worst parts of it, otherwise they didnt eat. otherwise they were vulnerable. she just cares too much. its the root of it all. it would be so easy to take extra rations (she doesn't). shes lost her child, imagined him ripped apart and eaten. (she'll cut into someone elses. rip him apart. they’re depending on her.) there's a purpose and fulfilment in the act. (she hates herself for feeling it but she needs to). shes lost everything and maybe she'd rather curl up in the snow by her babys grave and sleep. (they have to eat, she has to feed them.) they don't even thank her. she'll resent them for it later. (she still cares.) she hates them.

shauna may be be paranoid and vengeful but shes not a narcissist and shes not righteous. there's no wilderness god, no greater good, just reality. the place where they grew hungry enough to hunt each other. she wonders aloud why the hell melissa likes her, because shes aware shes unlikeable. it might not be a conscious choice but its deliberate. its a form of self-harm and its self-preservation. better to be feared and hated than pitied, at least then theres some power in what shes lost. (shes so desperate to feel powerful. she's earned it hasn't she?)

even when shes older and she tries to move on, always quick to blame others for her problems, deep down she will always feel responsible. its her fault jackie died so it has to mean something, her relationship with jeff has to be real. so she marries him out of guilt and has a child so she can continue to punish herself indefinitely. ofc it makes sense she can hug a confused old man because hes seeing his daughter instead, but she cant hold her own daughter the same way. cant love the way she wants to. (she could never let her go. she’d leave claw marks in her skin) she doesnt deserve her. cant let herself love callie like that. (she loves her anyway). because shes no good. because she knows what she could become (again) if she lost callie. she hurts people. shes a bad person and she deserves to be feel like this, to be blamed for everything, to freeze to death (because karma).

so yes shaunas a bad person. but shes not very good at it. and it wasn't pre-destined. she took on too big a burden, lost too much, and it broke her. that's what makes her tragic. most innately bad people dont spend their entire adult lives self-inflicting emotional torture.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶

i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)

have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖

i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...

i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned

mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭

i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔

i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends

i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about

people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled

in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol

the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭

its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭

mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)

i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.

its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!

she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!

she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"

she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)

she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.

he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.

THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.

she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7

but again, those are the consequences of HER actions

her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭

their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"

its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!

you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)

everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.

obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.

the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"

she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!

just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.

im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!

im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.

i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!

i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process

talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol

i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭

its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.

all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.

i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.

also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!

thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!

[mwahmwahh]

hey y'all:)

I came back with some updates on my post about a synastry between me and someone. Here's the link to the post if you havent seen it :

note: it's been like 6-7 months I believe ever since I posted it. Here are my observations so far.

12th house synastry

I've heard countless scaryyy things about this placement, and yes, it is painful. In my experience, it feels deeply karmic.

When we first met i felt this kind of familiarity in a way, aomething he did confess too just after a few days of meeting. Even after months we would sometimes talk about how our connection just seems "strange" but now in a bad way. It was like we just clicked and understood each other. On the first date he even told me a childhood trauma without realising it and I was like "wait how many people know about this?" and that's when he realised and said "oh very few..". As time went by it was like he was getting scared of the connection, then was getting scared of losing it and would do the most to keep in contact.

In my case, his Moon, Venus, and Mars fall in my 12th house, and everything about our connection has been so confusing. There was mutual appreciation and love, but for now, it just couldn't come to fruition. Why? Because he has to work through his own blockages and limiting beliefs to grow into a better version of himself (since the 12th house represents our subconscious, hidden fears/things from us in general, and in combination with the 7th house synastry that we had, which I will also talk about it later on on this blog, it's the perfect description of "mirroring each other". Keep in mind I am the one whose personal planets (Sun,Venus,Moon,Mercury) fell in his 7th house, meaning I would be the one holding that mirror)

He pursued me relentlessly—there wasn’t a single week in months where he didn’t reach out. He would call me even during emotional moments (a clear influence of his Moon), and we would comfort each other. But from my perspective, his feelings always felt somewhat hidden from me, even though he showed interest and pursued me (Mars energy). Like he was very obvious, but when i would ask why he would do certain things he would try hidding it or the next day would do something that would leave me confused and questioning idk it was like he didnt want to be seen completely? Also speaking of his mars in my 12th house, it's like he was scared to not be perceived as "successful" or "manly" enough, would be to proud to show vulnerability even tho it comes so natural for him to do so with me? (moon and Venus placement again). It’s like he never fully acknowledged the truth about our situation—not external factors, but the emotions and love (Venus) between us. Or he did admit it but for some reason he hides it.

This placement is painful, yes, but I believe it holds immense potential for growth for both individuals if they are willing to work on themselves and become their desired self if they arent scared of their own potential. These are necessary lessons for personal growth and, potentially, for a stronger connection in the future. I say this because he many times admitted his mistakes, and he did say he is going to work on those bad parts of himself (honestly when I received that message I was really happy, because he does hold a lot of potential to be a good partner [7th house placement] but its like I knew I couldn't get to excited yet as it will take time and a lot of patience. And note : I do not plan on waiting for him. He can go focus on himself, I will do my own thing, and if this was ever meant to happen, it will happen eventually but again these placements made me reallyyy tired and took a lot of my energy as I was always left in doubt. I do like him ngl and I do hope things get better, but until then I tried my best and he knowsss he could've been so much better. Again since it is with no doubt (I do tarot and my friends too so I've confirmed this through tarot as well), he will eventually get his karma (I do believe the 12th house in a way is about karma and it also represents spirituality) will realise everything bad happening in his life is linked to every poor decision made. If he was a better man and showed more interest instead of being scared to do so, I would've stayed but since he didn't, I left (in silence too cuz I tried to explain myself many times and LADIES keep in mind a man reacts to actions, not words. you can send that ogre paragraph after paragraph, he will not change until you leave or something else happens. in my case after a fight we had I just unfollowed him and took him from my followers as well, now we wait for him to notice since I did it not long ago 🙂‍↕️)

Moving onnnn,,, (sorry y'all I'm a gemini STELLIUM I can just talk and write for hours no problemo:))) )

In my case, I’ve experienced several serious, long-term relationships, while he has struggled with relationships that failed, leaving him reluctant to pursue anything serious. I truly believe we were meant to meet—not in a soulmate way, but in a karmic sense. The pain he unconsciously causes me feels like a mirror of the unresolved pain he carries, giving him an opportunity to heal and grow. Through this, I hope we can both learn from and transform through the connection.

7th house synastry:

My sun, moon, mercury, and Venus fall in his 7th house, as mentioned before. I've heard people say how the planet person feels it more than the house person but in this case I disagree. while I do see a lot of potential for this guy to be a good partner, he struggles to let me go because he feels the same way, but bcs of his planets in my 12th house, makes it confusing for him to see how he can pursue me or have me, makes his feelings clouded bcs of unresolved issues but through it all he sometimes has this lighting bulb when he wants to make things right, fix everything and meet. I do believe the influence of this house does balance a lot of aspects from the 12th house. The connection was really dreamy, since we both saw the potential to be together, we connected on many levels and had a lot in common but also a lot of difencences that ironically enough made us more attractive to one another. It's like I reflect something hopeful for him, because many times I did encourage him on a lot of things and given him support when, with his own words, doesn't even recieve this much support from family or friends. We had many deep conversations, not just about our situation, that helped him but I do believe it does help him more than it does to me. More on this house, my moon in his 7th house again explains just how natural it came for him to tell me the "unhidden" things, my sun there was lovely tbh, bcs I did feel the admiration he had for me and he would also feel more "manly" or just better when he was around me. He would always speak highly of me, would do romantic gestures like cook for me, even showing me parts of his life that were more private like his music, etc. I did feel also that he would try to copy me but not in a bad way more in a "idk what you actually like so I will just study you and show interest in the things that you like". But like guys cmon if you just like someone, go for it don't be like this man bcs that fear you have will just ruin it.

8th house synastry

Mentioning also the 8th house synastry real quick (my mars and saturn in his 8th house), yes there was a lot of attraction and sexual attraction, a lot of admiration etc but I feel like it's very obsessive from his pov. It's like he wants to be together with me but doesn't know how to and he's ego is too high (for now) to admit it until it's too late. And when he will finally realise I'm not there waiting for him to change anymore is when finally that mars placement gets activated, but in a very pursuing way and idk how it will go but mark my words bcs I will update you guys again :). What was scary was his saturn in my 2nd house. I think if I didn't have spent so many years working on myself, on my confidence and independence, I feel like this connection would've had me being the "hero" and just help him in all areas of his life while I would've become more restricted, more affect by the problems of the relationship than him. Because going more personally, yes he had a lot going on in his life, yes he knows he hasn't been the best man and did say he wants and will fix those negative parts of himself, but there is no excuse to "play" with someone's time and energy. The main problme was his lack of awarness and inmaturity, his fear. This situation was really tiring, again, and I think it is for the both of us because yes we can confront each other in a healthy way but it gets to a point it becomes really frustrating : for me not seeing process and eventually losing more interest/patience for this, and for him because he wants to change but doesn't know how to. and I tried helping him but I do not wanna keep saving people who can't be saved, especially a man HE CAN HELP HIMSELF!!!!🤩

I feel like this post was very long so sorry in advance!!! If you guys want, I can make a part 2 or if you have any questions please leave a comment, I will reply to you :) I would also appreciate if you guys have had any experience with these synastry placements, do tell cuz I'm really curious 🥸☝️

[utilitycaster]

while reading sone c3 meta i realized c3 defenders are as incurious about the world as bells hells. not to say read/watch the lore but they could do some research. the biggest thing rightniw is the calamity is a family scabble on exandria but i never see them acknowledging why the gods are fighting. or that the gods always chose each other which is so wrong. calamity is because the gods dont chose each other, they chose mortals. the entire fight is to save mortals and at the end they saved 1/3 of mortals vs the total wipeout that could have happened. im reminded that in a world with living gods bells hells didnt even know their names or what they were like. i can see why this party resonates with the incurios.

So on the one hand I would say that the Prime vs. Betrayer fight is complicated, because the motivations that lead to it are them torn between what they want and their refusal leave or kill each other. The Schism happens because the Betrayers want to leave, but won't leave without the Primes, and the Primes don't want to leave and want to help mortals against the titans. The Calamity happens at least in part because the Betrayers want to kill the mortals, which in turn is at least in part motivated by the fact that they see the mortals as coming between them and the Primes. The Primes meanwhile do want to prevent the Betrayers from killing the mortals, and as we've seen, make an effort to spare noncombatant mortals (an effort which in Divergence largely succeeds, and Downfall fails), but are unwilling to kill the Betrayers and instead seal them both times.

However, the larger point, both that Bells Hells are exceptionally ignorant of religious knowledge and history in Exandria and make little effort to rectify this or even acknowledge that they don't know much, and that many of their loudest fans are incurious as well, is true. The thing that actually strikes me is that, given that of the Predathos options that did not involve either a simple defeat of those trying to unleash it or a simple unleashing and destruction of the gods, both involved the Luxon, there was a profound not just lack of curiosity, but dismissiveness of Ashton learning about the beacon earlier in the campaign by their alleged fans. Whether or not you liked it, the potion of possibility and beacon in their head, more so than the shard, was the culmination of their arc and absolutely plot crucial - and it was not uncommon earlier in the campaign for people to be like "who CARES, fuck Essek, let's go to the Hishari." When, in the end, the shard served more as an interesting mechanical bonus, an opportunity for some of the best roleplay of the game that was then mostly abandoned, and an excuse to go to the Shattered Teeth; the role of the titans was ultimately only something to bring up in fruitless arguments and justify dickish behavior. Even more so than the ignorance of Exandrian lore that I saw with some frequency, that stands out to me: even within the campaign they purported to love, they didn't care about exploring something that might gently brush up against Campaign 2. It's a real cutting off one's nose to spite one's face, and it made them look stupid, and Bells Hells felt similar: they did not want to find out information that might show them to be wrong, or show people whom they disliked to be right.

This incuriosity is still alive and well:

This is probably a vague of this post by me - but that post, I should note, came from me checking something in the transcript:

The fans of Campaign 3 don't even care enough about the campaign and party they are expending so much energy to defend, to engage with the questions the characters thereof are thinking about. They're willing to throw Dorian under the bus in a failed attempt to win an argument. Dorian cares about this, actually, is the thing, and he's mostly brushed off, and even if Bells Hells had said "oh damn you're right", my point is not "why doesn't Bells Hells care" so much as "framing this as the merciful option is again a very self-centered perspective, rather like how donating your impulse purchase fast fashion clothing still often puts it in a landfill, but there's a middleman that lets you pretend you're doing the more eco-conscious option."

And yes, it is similar to how Bells Hells, as the party of Campaign 3, didn't care enough about the people and world they claimed to speak for to learn about it. Recall how many NPCs told Ashton that the titans were dead? I think a fair interpretation is that party didn't want to talk to people because they might have told them something that challenged their limited worldview and required they change, grow, and empathize with others.

There's a line from I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings: "[My mother] said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy," with the implication that there is a difference between a lack of knowledge that comes from lack of opportunity, vs. lack of knowledge that comes from not caring. And that's the thing. If a fan doesn't know all the lore, or even gets something wrong in good faith? That's fine! There's a lot, and if people don't know every detail of the history of the Calamity that's not a failure on their part, particularly if they acknowledge that they might be missing some information and are still learning. But if someone looks at the story, and looks at the questions within it - in some cases, questions directly stated by the characters within it - and says "who cares?" that's incuriosity. It's not a lack of knowledge; it's a disinterest in gaining it, and a lot of fans of C3 are not just incurious but openly proud of it.

[certifieduruihater]

"bayverse leo should have apologized" "bayverse leo didnt take his brothers into account"

if this is about the purple ooze, i have several gripes. leo opted not to tell raph or mikey about it, but you know who else didnt tell them? donnie. leo told him not to, sure, but that doesn't mean donnie had to listen to him? raph blamed both of them for not telling him, so idk why leo alone is being singled out.

leo not telling raph about the ooze is indicative that leo doesnt trust him, and why should he? raph has been pretty unreliable in both movies, picking fights and causing unnecessary trouble. he's been pretty vocal about how much he wants to leave the family; who would trust someone like that? raph pretty much proved leo right by endangering his whole family and making april and casey take the fall when he broke into police headquarters just to get his hands on the ooze that they dont even have confirmation will turn them human. he risked everything just for the CHANCE to turn human. if i were leo, id be ticked too.

if we're talking whole fight w/ bebop and rocksteady + the ensuing plane argument? ALL of the brothers were taking potshots at each other and saying hurtful things; why single leo out?

leo's final line of the argument: we may be brothers, but we are not a team

like is he wrong? this line didn't even feel like a dig. it just felt like a hard truth to swallow. he's not denying their connection as family, but he's acknowledging that just because they are family, that doesn't automatically make them a good team.

[chiiyuuvv]

[DAY 15] masterlist ᡣ𐭩 !

— " "is it okay.. if i kiss you?" B askes A in front of their doorstep, their hands crading A's face while slowly leaning in " ; mutual pinning

♡list : @lecheugo , @imthisclosetokms , @rizzkisworld , @hyvelxve , @starryriize

The chirps of the crickets and the hoots of the owls were quiet compared to the sound of your shared laughter, walking down the cold sidewalk with your shoulders brushing the other, wanting to encirle their arm or hold their hand — wanting a bit of physical contact for warmth but too shy to ask.

Anton was still counting down the seconds to when he would awake to the sound of his blazing alarm, unable to believe that you — the girl he had been pinning over for months — was walking next to him, laughing along to his stupid jokes that his friends would have whacked him for.

He had to be daydreaming again, chanting to himself "I'm so lucky" as he stuffs his fidgeting hands into his pockets, his head down to conceal his flustered smile and deep laughter considering he was soft spoken, wasting a second or two to steal a glance at your smile; how its engraved with such beauty, almost like it was stuck in its place.

He thinks back at how he nervously gulps, opening your chair with shaky hands so he could sit you down, before pushing you in and doing the same process with himself, taking in the restaurant that was marked as your first date, and hopefully more to come. He prays that everything goes well, almost losing his breath at the outfit you decided to wear today, almost like you were mocking him with your beauty.

But then again, you were always beautiful, and what you were wearing wasnt anything special; just a plain shirt that hugged your curves perfectly, along with your favorite pants and shoes to pair. He remembers trying not to stare at your lips as you talk, but failing miserly, licking his own in anxiousness. He felt like an idiot under your gaze, feeling all warm and fuzzy in his stomach as butterflies swarmed carelessly, yet another stutter leaving his lips. Stop doing that!!

"My house is just down the block," you inform anton, pointing to the array of houses as anton nods, before a frown forms on his lips. He was having so much fun, he didnt want to leave. But it was probably a good idea, so he wouldnt do anything stupid to embarrass himself, and so he can spend the next hour or so screaming into his pillow, kicking his feet like a schoolgirl in the process.

You always liked how happy anton seemed to get whenever you were near, constantly biting his lip to hold back his smile, his head always hiding behind one of his friends or in his arms. It was cute, you adored him; he looked so cool with his amazing talents and achievements, plus, you loved how soft the boy was, never wanting to hurt a fly.

You thought your liking towards him was a little obvious, but maybe the boy was blindly in love, missing all of your hints that drove his friends crazy with annoyance. You wanted to capture the look on antons face when you agreed to go out with him, his jaw dropped and eyes shot open looked a little silly, and you pictured yourself laughing about it with the boy, teasing him for his adorable flusterness.

"I had so much fun today," anton quietly admits as you walk into your driveway, going up the steps in a slow pace, almost like you wanted to savor each and every moment, every feeling of this magical night. "So did i," you share a smile, looking around to think of something that would conclude your time.

"The moon looks so pretty today," you admire what was over antons shoulder, his head turning to acknowledge it before turning back to you, his heart swooning at how perfect you looked. "Yeah.." he says in a lovesick tone, his eyes going over each and every part of your face, studying it deeply like there was going to be a quiz that would be presented the next day. You looked beautiful.

Time seemed to stop when you finally turn your head to say something else to the boy, never expecting him to be already looking at you with so much love in his eyes, like he would protect you from anything and everything, his angel.

His mouth opens to say something but nothing never comes to his dismay, just using the time to admire your presence, his eyes slowly traveling to your pink, parted lips. His eyes move back to your as you unconsciously take a step forward, so close that anton hunches over without a thought, cradling your soft face into his warm hands.

"Is it okay.. if i kiss you?" His sudden words hit you like a train, a soft gasp leaving your lips as you take in how he stares at you like he hasnt touched anyone in years; he needed you. So with a nod, you slowly close your eyes, tilting your head so anton could have better access to your pretty lips, closing the distance between you too.

The feeling of your arms around his neck excites him, setting the pace to a slow movement, but able to convey the want and desire through his lips. His arms slides down to your waist to hold you closer as he presses his lips against yours repeatly before breaking, his forehead rested against yours as his eyes were still closed, basking in the after glow. Oh, how he never wanted to wake up again.

[hiiikiko]

ｇｏｏｄ ｌｕｃｋ， ｂａｂｅ！

tw: swearing, internalized homophobia (?), ANGST, y/n being a bitch tbh

“It’s fine, it’s cool,” you repeat over and over under your breath, your voice drowned out by the blaring music from Ellie’s car radio.

Ellie, your ‘fuck buddy,’ as some would say,’ has her eyes zeroed in on the road, her lips mouthing the lyrics to whatever indie bullshit she put on, eyebrows furrowed, and the passing streetlamps casting shadows on her freckled face. You knew she was mad but she had no right to be.

“We’re here,” she turns off her car and slams the door shut. Shit, she really was mad..

As soon as you get upstairs, you take your shoes off, and make your way to her bedroom, your hand trailing up your blouse to unbutton it but before you can you hear the door slam, “Y/n, we need to talk.”

You couldn’t bear to turn around, you knew exactly what kind of expression she was making, her eyebrows would be furrowed, her lips in a gentle pout, and her eyes pleading you to acknowledge her as more than a sex object.

Instead of getting on your knees and begging for her forgiveness, you decide to play dumb, “About?”

Ellie scoffs, “You know damn well what I want to talk about.”

Earlier that night, you had gotten too drunk and made out with a few, no, more than a few guys.

“It’s not like we’re together, Ellie, there is nothing between us except for making each other feel good.”

“Bullshit, you can say we’re nothing but you know the truth, you see it in the way I drop everything to meet up with you in some dingy motel room, you feel it in the way I mark your neck with kisses, and you knew it when you said you loved me.”

“Stop it, Ellie. Those were all in the moment, you know that I never met anything by it,” you say condescendingly, hoping she didn’t notice the quiet tremble in your voice.

“Fine, I guess I’m the fool,” she throws her hands up and walks into the kitchen, leaning against the counter, facing away from you.

After a long while of silence she says, “You know earlier, when you had your arms out like an angel through the car sun roof? I almost didnt want to call it quits.”

You stood up so fast that the blood rushed to you head, “I-I don’t want to call it off.”

“You say that but you don’t want to call it love. You say we aren’t in a relationship and that you could care less about who I fuck around with but last week you called me, sobbing, because I took Cat back with me, you were crying and saying that you only wanna be the one that I call baby.” Ellie turns back around, tears falling from her beautiful eyes, sending a sharp pain into your heart.

“Whatever, Ellie,” you take a step closer, “You knew what we agreed to when we started this thing, you had absolutely no right to push that guy off me.”

Ellie jumps up, “I had no right?? You had no right to be throwing yourself at anything with a dick in that god forsaken bar, especially right in front of me. Do you have any idea how much that hurt to see the girl I like, sitting on some frat boys lap, his hands roaming all over her? You know what, Y/n. I’m not doing this anymore,” Ellie sights, defeated, “You can kiss a hundred boys in bars, shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling. You can say ‘it’s’ just the way you are, make a new excuse, another stupid reason. Good luck, babe.”

“Okay, so I’m cliche, who cares,” you scoff, gather your things and begin to put your shoes back on, there was no way that this was a sexually explicit kind of love affair like Ellie was trying to make it out to be, right?

“You know, Y/n, I cry, it’s not fair, the way you would get up in the morning when you thought I was asleep, the way you would call me out to your place in the middle of the night because whatever pathetic man you took home wasn’t able to get the job done, and-“

Before Ellie could finish you say through gritted teeth, “I just needed a little loving and you were the only one pathetic enough that I could use and discard at my own transgression,” maybe that was too harsh but you had to get it into Ellie’s pretty little head, “Fuck, I need some air.”

Ellie is quiet, then you say, “Think I’m gonna call it off, even if you call it love.”

Ellie doesn’t say anything. Sure, you might regret this but all you’ve ever wanted was to love someone who calls you baby, Ellie did that but, well, she’s a girl..

Just as you are about to yank the door open, you hear Ellie say, “When you wake up next to whatever fat, balding fuck you marry in 10 or 15 years, in the middle of the night with your head in your hands, you’re nothing more than his wife, when you think about me all of those years ago, you’ll be standing face to face with ‘I told you so,’” she still doesn’t face you, “You know I’ll hate to say it but ‘I told you so.’

“Fuck you, Ellie,” hot, angry tears stream down your face as you slam the door, leaving Ellie behind for good.

[a/n: hope y’all liked this :0 this song has been stuck in my head for like days now LMAO]

[kurishiri]

why team alice (as a whole) suffers compared to the others, other than the fact they r "starter routes"

DISCLAIMER: this post is not meant to undermine those who like team alice or any of the chars in that team; this is just a post i am making bc ive been thinking and theorizing a bit on especially why en doesnt seem to like will, harry, and liam as much as the other suitors as a whole. and i wanted to try to put it into words. but i'm also not really a professional when it comes to these matters and the statements i make boil down to my personal opinion (despite how i may phrase things), so take my words with a grain of salt. im open to hearing other opinions and welcome discussion, provided it remains civil!

long post + late night thoughts below

clarification: i am not including victor in this post as a part of this the aforementioned “team alice”, as i consider him a separate entity from the other teams altogether, symbolizing “the end” of fairytales, rather than a char of a fairytale. when sold in story sets, he often gets put into sets with team sleeping beauty anyway. i do acknowledge that victor is fairly often seen with william and harry, though in my personal opinion — and this may change with victor’s route release, who knows! — they do sort of fall short a bit for the same reason that i will mark with an asterisk (*) in this post.

especially ever since i started translating, and after al's route release, i feel ive become more conscious of the concept of "favoritism". even in the source material, favoritism is present to an almost painful degree. like, it wont take you long to realize liam literally has no (solo) 95k stories, while jude has the most out of the entire cast. which then leads to the question, which i ask as neutrally as i can: why? why is liam so unpopular? why is will not popular? or harry? and conversely, why is jude and ellis so popular? why does team alice seem less popular than the other teams? after some thinking…

basically, my thought just all boils down to the "lack of chemistry".

i dont think the issue lies so much with the chars themselves. i feel a lot of community doesnt really hate them as chars, they just like the others more. all that to say — will, harry, and liam r all charming in their own right.

they r good-looking, kind to kate, they r intelligent, they r all affected in some way by their curse, and they all possess development arcs especially following their main story, which i feel may be a symptom of the "starter route syndrome". where their main stories may fall a bit short, they may make up for in basically all of the following events. they r all flawed, thus making them feel human and authentic.

as individuals, they r all actually quite well rounded, in my opinion.

but when you look at them as a team or group, this is specifically where they fall apart.

the thing is — its not just abt the individual. its also abt how they see the things around them, how they interact with them; you can have very well-made chars, but if they don’t interact with others, how can we, as readers, get to know them? and of course, when i say "interact", this includes other chars in the cast. they say dialogue can make or break, and while there r some things team alice does well in dialogue, i think in other areas it also falls short.

now part of it may also be that the team as a whole didnt know each other before they all congregated at crown, while all the other teams have known each other in some way in the past, with team snow white (and, i think swan lake) especially having an extensive history. so i think in this sense, there is some inherent disadvantage team alice faces here at play as well. but this is not the only factor, considering they actually manage to tie liam and harry pretty well together as a combo. their friendship feels quite authentic.

as for will…we dont see all too many opportunities for him to interact much with harry (if they do, harry is often with someone else, like liam). but we know they r probably on good terms, though harry sometimes may feel a bit unsettled,,? by will. but the key is: they just dont interact much as a pair. in this sense, there is little opportunity to develop them as a pair, thus integrating will as a whole into the team. as for will and liam? these two share more interactions, but said interactions r not always executed very well, in my opinion*.

for example, will sort of treats liam like a cat. he even calls him a cat in dialogue. but thats all it seems to be between them. their dynamic feels somewhat flat, and it doesnt help that will is even opting to tell (rather than show) the reader what he thinks of liam, thus taking away the ability for the reader to dig deeper into their relationship. thus, it may feel harder to empathize, sympathize, or find it relatable — the chars dont reveal much abt each other. their dynamics feel surface level, so even though they have distinctive personalities, traits, and struggles, it feels like we r only getting half of them. bc again, much of how we get to know chars is their interactions, dialogues, and thoughts abt other chars, similar to how we cannot really understand ourselves without the presence of others (like the "looking-glass self" which sociologist cooley coined).

i probably sound like a broken record by now, but basically what i wanna say is there is not much of a good way to integrate will into the team — or the way they try to do so isnt done very well. the dynamic then may feel "incomplete", like drawing a half circle and attempting to call it a full circle.

to give a point of comparison, we can take a quick look at team snow white and sleeping beauty, looking at what made them relatively more successful compared to team alice. i wont be looking at team swan lake due to them being jp only chars (as of the making of this post) and also just not having much info on them. but, sometimes it does help to look at "successful" cases to better understand or feel what had fallen short.

TEAM SLEEPING BEAUTY

ok so, quick disclaimer: team sleeping beauty isnt really my strong suit (if yk me, im prettyy biased toward team snow white personally ndhjsffgjdjfjsg), so to speak. so if anyone else has anything to add here, feel free. but i will try my best.

basically, i think team sleeping beauty has one prevailing advantage over other teams, which is they r a two-man team.

they can keep the dynamic compact, if thats the word. there r physically less ppl to have to "integrate" into the team. in this team, it is centered around ellis and jude's relationship with each other. but to put it simply, they r foils — and the fact they use such a literary device in and of itself adds to their charm, specifically bc foils r meant to bring out each other’s similarities and differences…traits that we readers digest and can potentially empathize with.

one wants to make the other happy, obsessed with the notion of "happiness", while the other is basically cursed (as a byproduct) to never be the happiest. there is this theme of happiness revolving around those two, entangling them to a relationship that can inherently "never end". this in turn highlights ellis' tendency to "restrain" and jude's cycle of hatred. they sort of go together like yin and yang — two opposing forces who still end up working together. they have a distinct role to play in each other's lives.

on the other hand, team alice characters r sort of more independent from each other and feel a bit like a hodgepodge. this results in the reader potentially finding more difficulty finding how they may affect one another…risking their role as chars in each others stories being rendered vague.

and if the role of chars is hard to be established, it is easy for them to "fall out" in terms of the storyline.

TEAM SNOW WHITE

so here is the three man team that makes the three man team work. and the biggest thing that team snow white has that team alice doesnt is distinct, complex dynamics established between all three chars in the team. in other words, they have a "full circle" whereas team alice has a "half circle".

ALFONS & ELBERT: ah yes the pairing that would become a couple if they were not labeled as love interests for kate in an otome game /lh but in all srsness these two do share quite an interesting dynamic. they were sort of there to share each other's pain, and even just as chars, they seem to reflect things abt each other. for example, through elbie, we learn of how "hopeless" al can feel despite his smiley front; and through al, we see a lot of what elbie was truly seeking and why. and how, despite al being a mirror that reflects others' desires, elbie is the mirror that keeps al grounded to his self, and reflects what makes al as a char. they share a close relationship of "two lonely and broken souls finding solace in one another", but there is also quite a bit of subtext in the semantics of their dynamic and dialogue together as well.

ELBERT & ROGER: considering elbie's fear of doctors, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that, despite the fact roger had never actually laid a finger on elbie the same way his father's doctor did, elbie still feared roger, bc roger still embodied the concept of what had deeply traumatized him in the first place. roger had to go out of his way to earn elbie's trust (as a doctor), and they had gone out of their way to depict this. in this sense, through roger, we can see just how deep-rooted this trauma is and its severity — time cant heal all wounds.

ROGER & ALFONS: theres quite a bit to unpack with these two. they r deeply intertwined in each other's lives, whether they like it or not. its not that al gets along with roger or views him as a "friend", per se, but he finds it easy to place the blame of his suffering on roger, implies through subtext that he still holds some hope for roger that he can fulfill his goals, and shows his own version of an act of kindness by erasing his memories when he decided to, well, off himself. on the other hand, interestingly enough, roger is the one who basically took away al's childhood, but at the same time, in the present, he is the one who is able to bring out al's most childish side.

all in all, team snow white seems to rely a lot on subtext, which is another device to create mult layers and complexities in the dynamics created between all the characters in the team.

tl;dr: team alice has individually interesting characters, which is why they r not really disliked necessarily, but their interactions with each other as a team fall short compared to the other teams, which in turn has an impact on how "relatable" they may be perceived by the reader. and this is basically why i think team snow white and sleeping beauty r more favored than team alice as a whole by the (en) fandom.

wrote most of this on my phone nfjsjhfhsgs will end the essay here

[opal-owl-flight]

A rousing victory on all fronts!!

You can hear the team chanting the Sploon1 victory theme from here.

This is the best outcome that 3 could ever have hoped for. A Splatfest they were allowed to fight in, AND theyre winning team? Its a dream come true.

And Team Past winning is a message that they had hoped to hear for reasons that hit close to home.

On the more personal side, they chose this team because they had one good memory, one good year, and that single point in their life is going to keep them going. Theyre going to work so they can make more of that experience for themself.

Theyre a nostalgic soul. They want things to be simple like when they first turned 14 and left home.

But thats not all.

They believe that there has to be a return to form between the nations that participated in this fest. Long ago, they were all in harmony until the waters rose. Now that the nations are together again, they want them to just think of the music, the art, the food, the culture they can share with each other instead of fighting all the time.

Team past winning could be a show of a similar sentiment. Bury the hatchet. Lets hold hands like how we did it back then. Fucks sake -- most of Inkadia isnt even aware of Octaria. They were kind of just forgotten.

Inkadia is willing to open their arms again. Octaria is still a lil skittish but itll get better. They have reason to be, anyway.

Thing abt the two nations is that -- for several years now, migrations and travel have been more or less commonplace. Lots of Octarians in Inkopolis now, thanks to the platoon's help. Most people have relations with an Octarian. Inkadia didnt notice it at first. When they did though, there was apprehension. Thats where 3s peace talks come in.

Beyond the powers that be, regular Inkadians saw no reason to fear the Octarians (unless theyre part of those idiot fringe groups similar to Cuttlefish before). Theyve known these guys for years now, theres no harm.

The grandfest is Inkadia finally shaking hands with Octaria officially. Now even Octavio feels safe in bringing the dome dwellers up. Only reason he was strict with travel in the first place was his fear of Inkadians being nasty to his people.

Admittedly...yes, they were nasty to his people for a while. There was this subconcious bias/expectation that the Octarians should act a certain way to be accepted. To leave behind what made them Octarian, to blend in, assimilate. More passionate Octarians were usually excluded. There have been movements to bring light to these issues, which the platoon also participates in, and slowly but surely things changed for the better. Its not 100% perfect yet but its still moving forward.

And then team past wins?? Its like Inkadia is saying "we fucked up. Were sorry. How can we make up for it?"

It wasnt about returning to the past, (though the past that these winners fight for is a past when the two nations were in harmony) its all about learning from their mistakes to make a better present and future.

The win meant that society is acknowledging that theyve made mistakes and are willing to make up for it.

Its the best result for 3, really. They want Inkadia to face the fucking facts while they make up for everything theyve done wrong. They are an agent that relies on previous experience to get better. They observe past actions, they look at previous mistakes bit too much Ill say and think of how to improve themself (and others.)

To get better, you have to study the past. This is true for battle, and also personal growth.

3 has so much hope for the future bc of this, and they never thought theyd ever hope again.

Knowing that Inkadians are willing to do that effort really makes them believe in their nation more.

Their peace talks with the powers that be and their efforts of helping Octarians integrate with the surface Inkadians have paid off at last,,

Bc Inkadians tjemselves said that they want to make things better than how things were before

Theyre not alone in that fight anymore.

The Grizzco raids that stole a billion eggs back from the corporation was the first sign...and this win confirms their hopes.

---------

THIS IS SUCH A LONG ONE BUT YEAH!! 3 IS UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY FOR ONCE!!!

[bamtor1sss]

PART 1

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PROLOGUE -> Part 1

⌗ summary: they were happily in love when they first married but now over the years they fell out in love... now the two both try to fall back in love together after mutual agreement

: ̗̀➛ 3.8k words ⭑.ᐟ

f!reader x husband!beomgyu

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ warning: married au, little fluff, angsttt, texting au, timestamps, grammar is off a little since i edited some parts from my og fic TT

It's been a while now since you both came to an agreement to try save this dead and broken relationship and so far its honestly going rough...between the sometimes snarky replies, sharp glances and tones used it was far from easy since you both had grown accustomed to not being around each other and viewing each other nothing more than platonic roommates rather than husband and wife. but lately, something had started to shift. something odd not uncomfortable, just ... tense. like the air between you was charged in ways neither of you knew how to name. it started after a recent work event you invited beomgyu to—just for appearances. you hadn’t expected much. but when a coworker complimented how good you looked that night, oblivious to the fractures in your marriage you'd kept hidden to everyone expect huening kai, beomgyu only smiled and rested his hand gently on the small of your back. the contact was subtle, almost close enough to being natural—but it made your back arch before you could stop it, shamefully reactive, like your body remembered something your heart had forgotten. his fingers barely grazed your spine over the fabric of your shirt, but it was enough to send a quiet jolt through your chest. you stiffened, unsure whether to lean into it or pull away. it didnt meant anything it was merely just an act for others. just his hand. just skin. but after all this time—after years of brushing past each other without a second thought—it felt like too much. you didn’t look at him. didn’t say a word. but the warmth lingered long after his hand had dropped away, leaving you with a strange, uneasy awareness of him..

and to make things worse, he's actually changing...not all at once, nothing big or dramatic... but in the small, irritatingly sincere ways that are hard to ignore. softer tones when he speaks to you. asking how your day was and actually listening. putting his phone down at dinner. showing up and after spending so long building this wall, layering it brick by brick with every cold silence, every time he walked past you like a ghost in your own home. it was supposed to protect you. supposed to remind you not to expect anything from him anymore. but now, here he was, knocking gently at the door you’d locked long ago. not demanding anything. just… being there. and it’s annoying, tiring and hard because you don’t know how to let someone in again. not after all the times you’ve convinced yourself you’d learned how to be alone.

so you pull back.. in the quiet, subtle things—the things he'll clearly notice. shorter responses when he talks to you, avoiding his eyes when they linger on yours, filling the silence with something so you don’t have to acknowledge the space between you. it’s easier this way.

6:35AM

you were getting ready for work as usual, sitting at your vanity putting makeup on, this time you could feel a pair of eyes on you. You looked through the mirror only to be met with beomgyu's gaze

"Is something wrong? you've been staring at me without saying anything.." You said breaking the awkward silence with your cold cut tone "oh no- I was just thinking about something.." he said rather quickly in reply.

that same silent tension filled the air only for a little bit until he continued

"well, I was thinking maybe we could eat dinner together-? I could bring something home- that is if you don't get off of work late" he said rather timidly... weird?

"oh- tonight? I mean sure I guess..? That's fine.. I'll text you when I get off of work" ending the conversation there, clearly not wanting to continue this conversation with him, beomgyu nodding his head

"don't forget to let me know... please?" he said almost with desperate eyes, like a child pleading to their parent. You were taken aback by his persistency, but you didn't care for whatever reason he was acting this way, your eyes shifted from him back to your vanity mirror so you could continue getting ready for work.

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7:55PM

you make it home at your usual time, the sky outside dimming into that soft, blueish gray of early evening. as you unlock the door and step inside, the faint scent of something warm and unfamiliar drifts toward you, cooked food. your eyes catch on the dining table almost immediately, and for a second, you just… pause. it’s set. fully set. two plates. silverware neatly placed. glasses waiting to be filled. the food, still steaming slightly, rests in the center like it hasn’t been there long. it’s nothing extravagant, but the effort is obvious. thoughtful. at first a small surprised smile tugs at the corner of your mouth before you can let it grow, you stop it. it’s been a long time since anything felt this intentional. but the seat across from yours is empty. his car was in the driveway—you knew that before you even stepped inside—so he has to be here somewhere. you glance around, the quiet pressing in just enough to make the moment feel fragile.

"Beomgyu-?" you said walking through the quiet house, a few seconds went by and no one replied. You walked to the living room still not finding anyone you decide to look at the last place, your shared bedroom. When you walked in the lights in the room were off expect the lights to the bathroom, the figure was looking into the mirror with a towel clenched in his hand dabbing it on his face. You walked up closer not saying anything yet to see what he was doing.

his reflection looked almost dazed, like he didn’t even hear you walk in. you paused for a second before speaking. “beomgyu?” your voice cut gently through the stillness. “what are you doing? i was calling for you in the house.” he didn’t answer right away, just turned his head slightly and that’s when you saw it... the cut on his lip then another just above his brow. small, but fresh enough to stand out. your brows pulled together, the confusion sharp and immediate. “what—? are you okay?” you crossed the room without thinking, the worry slipping out too quickly, before you could guard it. he blinked, eyes soft and a little unfocused, kind of puppy-like. “ah—yeah,” he mumbled, fumbling a little with his words. “i’m okay. don’t worry.” “you’re bleeding a little,” you retorted, quieter now. your hand lifted on instinct, settling carefully against the side of his face as you examined the cuts. “what did you do to yourself?” he winced, but not from your touch. more like embarrassment.

“what did you even do to yourself?” you muttered, half exasperated, half genuinely concerned. “ugh.. this is exactly why i can’t leave you alone in the kitchen. something always happens.” your words came out sharper than intended, but underneath it all, the worry was there. undeniable and real. no matter how distant you tried to make things, he was still your husband and part of you still cared. maybe more than you really wanted to.

"i'm sorry… i didn't mean to make you worry," he said, placing his hand over yours... light, hesitant, but enough to make you pause. "but what happened to you, beomgyu?" you asked again. this time, the worry in your voice slipped through before you could stop it.

"i was… sitting at the table earlier," he said slowly, his voice unsure, like he was bracing for you to laugh. "i—i must've been more tired than i realized. i got up too fast to grab something and… i kinda… knocked my head against the cabinet door." he rubbed the back of his neck, looking down, clearly embarrassed.

it was almost enjoyable seeing him act so differently now~?

you couldn’t help but laugh when you heard how he got those cuts. “and to think you got me all worried,” you said, the words slipping out before you even realized. pretty blush appeared on his face. "you're so delicate~!" the words left your lips without thinking, and before you knew it, your hand was on his cheek, poking him lightly, the act catching your own self off guard

beomgyu let out a soft laugh, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. even though he was still a little embarrassed, he didn’t miss his chance, his gaze shifting with that unfamiliar tension like before. “well, i guess that means you’ll have to stay here and take extra.. extra care of me,” he said, his tone dripping with playful sincerity, his smile wide and teasing just enough to make it feel like an invitation.

You rolled your eyes ignoring what he said, completely dismissing him which may or may not have cause his lips to form a small pout. “please… help me put some ointment on it?” beomgyu asked, his voice a little sheepish, eyes flickering to yours with that hint of vulnerability. you hesitated for a second, then sighed, rolling your eyes but still secretly amused. “fine, fine, i’ll do it,” you said, the words coming out with an exaggerated reluctance that didn’t quite mask the way you agreed to help, as you looked through the drawers.

beomgyu currently leaning onto the counter with his hands behind his back resting on the counter, his head slightly leaning back

beomgyu didn’t say anything as you gently wiped the blood from his face, applying the ointment to the cuts with raw attention. His eyes though, never left yours. There was a stillness to his gaze.. one that seemed to settle between the two of you, that tension even as you tried to focus on the task at hand. You kept your attention on the ointment, doing your best to ignore the way his eyes burned inro you. There was something different in the way he was looking at you—like he was seeing you in a way he hadn’t in a long time. and it was true... beomgyu couldn’t help but notice how long it had been since he’d really taken in the soft slope on your nose, the softness of your expression when you were concentrated, and especially your eyes—eyes that still held that same warmth, even when you weren’t looking at him.

You notice his fingers reaching for the knot of his tie slow yet deliberate. and to make it worse he doesn’t break eye contact as he loosens it, his movements unhurried, almost teasing. Your eyes flick down to his neck, just for a second catching the slight swallow. you look back up. you dab the last bit of ointment onto his cheek, your fingers brushing against his skin, warm despite the sting. but then his hands move again. soft fabric ruffling as he undoes the top buttons of his shirt.

the room started feeling smaller. warmer. the air charged. You can feel his gaze on you — not demanding, just there, waiting. like he knows exactly what he's doing.

"What are you doing-?" You finally asked after trying to ignore his movements and gaze on you

"It's just... really, really hot in here, don't you think?" he said, voice light, like he was trying not to laugh. His face was colored with a soft pink hue — but it was his ears that gave him away. you tilted your head, narrowing your eyes slightly. he was just... off--off enough to make you pause. "are you sure you didn’t sneak a drink before this?" you asked, brushing your fingers clean, gaze steady on him. "what’s with the red face and the sudden giggles?" his dumb little smile got a little bigger, so shameless. "Is it wrong for your husband to be happy he’s around you?" your brow twitched slightly. his tone was light, but the words held something underneath. he let out a soft, almost dramatic sigh. "ah~ I can’t remember the last time you looked at me like that." you blinked once, slow. "like what?" but he didn’t answer only giving that smile that meant trouble..

and in a way beomgyu was right, when was the last time you both were this close? you couldn't even remember the last time you've looked at him with eyes "that way" according to him.

after puzzling together what was happening you start to feel a little flustered, clearing your throat. "Your cuts should get better in a day or so" you paused and then continued "t-the food is probably getting cold so we-" beomgyu stops you. wrapping his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him. pressing you closer to him

you let out a surprised sound when he did this, you could now feel the warmth from his body onto yours. as you feel his grip around your waist tighten you can already feel the blood rushing to your face, and you were right, you were blushing like crazy. Upon seeing how flustered you gotten from such simple contact beomgyu laughed "now I'm not the only one whose face is red~" he was so cocky the way he said it, it caught you off guard

“h-huh? beomgyu, what are you even talking ab—” your words caught in your throat the moment his hand slid up, fingers threading gently into your hair. he leaned in, and before you could say another word, his lips were on yours. so soft, careful, like he was afraid to push too far. your breath hitched and for some weird reason… you didn’t pull away. your eyes fluttered shut, just for a second, the warmth of the kiss settling over you like something familiar and then it was gone. your eyes opened, dazed, your heartbeat louder than it had any right to be. he was already pulling back, watching you closely, his eyes searching yours like he was trying to read the answer before you even knew the question.

Realizing what happened you were a mess inside, any thoughts you had before were completely wrecked "did he kiss me?! what's wrong with him? why is he acting like this??" every thought went through your mind, but it all stopped once he started speaking

"I should've asked if you were okay with me doing that" he said looking off into the bathroom his eyes were so puppy-like, he looked so serious yet so soft when he spoke. you were completely dumbfounded at what just happened. then adding onto your surprise he brought you impossibly closer, hugging you and resting his head on your shoulder

"So warm~" he sighed

not knowing how to react to this "are you done now-?" you sounded a little hesitant and unsure if you should even say anything at all

beomgyu lifted his head facing towards you "can't we just stay like this longer?" He pouted, he sounded like a child "pleeeeeaaaase- don't you love me?" he grabbed your shoulders and shook them lightly

"beomgyu- why are acting so childish?" you started pulling your wall back up after leaving it down for too a moment too long

"how could i not feel tempted to do things like that," he murmured, leaning in just a little, his voice dropping to a teasingly warm octave in the softest way. "especially when someone so pretty is alone with me? riling me up like this" he smiled then — slow, devilish, like he knew exactly what he was doing to you. "so please, y/n... can’t i have this moment? just for now?" his eyes softened, lips pushing into the slightest pout, like he wasn’t already wrecking your already weak self-control

feeling overwhelmed, you shook your head "t-this has carried on waaay too long- a-and I want to eat so let go of me?" you said putting your hand on his chest to push away

he cut you off, his voice low, purring. "why eat dinner when I'm right here, and you're right .. in front of me?" he said, licking his lips and to make it worse his tone was calm as if it were the most natural thing in the world to say... but there was that glint in his eyes, that smile tugging at the corners of his lips, making everything feel… more than it should.

you could almost hear how fast your heart was beating and you were sure he could hear it... you moved subconsciously and somehow shuffled yourself out of his grasp

"I-I'm going to be in the dining room- eating.. actual dinner" you spoke in a hurry and quickly walked out the bathroom you, once you got out of eyesight for him you put your hand on your chest feeling your heart, trying desperately to calm yourself down from what even happened. beomgyu on the other hand smiling so much after seeing your reaction he thought it was probably the cutest things he'd seen in a while from you.

once he was out of your eyesight he put his hand on his heart to try to calm himself down from just happened, honestly he was shocked how long that played out for, he couldn't stop smiling and rethinking what happened, his face was so flushed, but he didn't even care at this point

-

☆

Few weeks later

11:36PM

After a long day of work, you finally got home, ready to get some rest, you hastily took your shower, even going out of your way to wear your favorite set of pjs. beomgyu was already sleeping so you quietly make your way into the bed avoiding any unnecessary noise. you sighed when you finally were able to rest your head on your pillow finally all the stress of the day was gone, no more hearing your coworkers' voices constantly asking you questions.

beomgyu’s expression was unguarded and soft. his lips were slightly parted, the faintest trace of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, as if he were dreaming of something pleasant. his hair, a bit messy from sleep, fell effortlessly across his forehead, a few stray strands brushing against his temple, adding to the overall sense of comfort he radiated in that moment. and oddly enough that comforted you enough to pull you into sleep

Peace at last ...

until ... you feel something moving around you, you unwillingly opened your eyes, chest to chest with him, clinging onto you

"Beomgyu what are you doing-?" you spoke, voice already so sleepy. you were confused and to add to your confusion he didn't reply, his grip only tightened, and you could feel his head moving only deeper into your neck, your shoulders raised but slowly fell down

"could you please relax your shoulders more it's more comfortable when there relaxed" beomgyu mumbled leaning into your neck more

"mm- beomgyu can you let go"

then he was back asleep, you could feel his breath on your neck, more consistent this time, which kind of made you shiver..

you tried moving out of his grasp, but he was hugging too tight, so you sighed and just gave up and finally relaxed... you were honestly too tired to keep on thinking about it, so you just shrugged it off and went to sleep.

after a few minutes of sleeping, you feel warmth, lips.. beomgyus to be exact. latching onto your neck, giving it a soft kiss.

you were ready to shake him off, maybe give him a scolding or two but No, he was really asleep... and who knows how or what he was dreaming about that made him do this while he was still sleeping ...? despite denying it you felt yourself leaning into him feeling coaxed by his actions...

But why care? He's your husband after all... you tried to tell yourself, but the truth was, you were trying to get back to being used to this sudden affection since you distanced yourself from this relationship..

 cutting you out of your thoughts you felt wave of tingles go up from the bottom of your ear to the base of your neck ... again? "no-no-no- I know you're not sleeping..! what are you doing?!" all you could hear was his soft laugher filling the room, he finally let go of your waist.

"y/n look-look I'm sorry!~I really couldn't resist it~" he was reaaaaaally enjoying this, and you had to admit that the feeling wasn't painful or anything it felt quite nice, but you were just too stubborn to admit it.

"ugh- don't laugh! this isn't funny!" you rolled your eyes. "oh come on? when did you get so stubborn~!" he pouted and dramatically covered his face with his arm, you could only feel pity for how he basically acting like a child, taking a deep breath. you move his arm off his face. barely straddling him, his eyes fluttered so quickly

you put your hand on either side of his face and give him a small kiss, at first and honestly you were kind of shocked by your own sudden actions.. you felt his hands move to your waist rubbing on your waist to coax you into him-your breath caught and your sudden boldness disappeared... you had to stop yourself after feeling your heart bang against your rib cage, lifting yourself off him abruptly

your eyes slowly met with his again "a-are you happy now?" you were about to continue but you felt his hand move to your head to bring you back closer and he kisses you back, you could've sworn you felt him smiling in the kiss .. he was so sly.

you broke out of it- hitting his chest with no intent of hurting him. no real struggle to get away and honestly if he pulled you back in you wouldn't have fought him

"don't- do that-" you barely held your sentence, you just turned your back over and buried your face into the blankets. Your ears were burning, and your stomach was full of butterflies

your heart was beating so fast, but you didn't know why? you tried so hard to resist those feelings, but they kept on resurfacing... beomgyu was right... why were you being so stubborn?~

You were taking a shower; you usually take your phone with you into the bathroom to play music or whatever, but you left your phone on the bed.

beomgyu came home earlier than usual. "y/n?" he walked into the bedroom, he heard the water running in the bathroom and figured you were showering so he waited for you to come out.

he saw your phone on the bed and decided to mess around and take some pictures on it, he opened your phone and went to the camera through your lock screen. and just when he was about to start taking pictures

your phone got a call. maybe it was spam calls since it was so late at night?

"Hyuka❤️"

beomgyu felt his heart stop and his eyes brows furrowed, who this person even was? why he was calling so late? why did he even have a heart by his name?

at bad timing you walk out the bathroom and see beomgyu sitting on the bed with your phone in his hand

"oh, I didn't hear you get in" you said stiffening up a bit. "Who is this?" beomgyu asked, showing you your missed call on your phone screen...

the room silent.

THIS TOOK FORVER TO EDITTT, like all dayyy- my og fic was so CRINGY AAH lmao sorry if its a little cheesy- but at least now i get to write new chapters for it in the future~ i have sm fics in the work hehe (possible hyuka fic.. yj fic maybe more?!?!!)

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ˋ°•*⁀➷ @lwriina my wifu

please please please reblog or comment if you’re interested in this series !! also if you have any fic requests please send them my way!! ^^🖤

[graymanshoots]

Try

FWB!Ghost x GN Reader x pastHookup!Konig

Tags: Hookup,semi public sex, regret, angst, yelling, ginger konig, konig doesn't wear his mask constantly like ghost (Only on the field), vulnerability , crying, arguments,no beta we die like men

Part: 1 - 2

A/n: I finally finished this on two days of no sleep and a missing beta reader. Hope guys enjoy the tad bit of spice at the beginning and as needed 18+.

Seeing the head of ginger hair standing out not only cause of its color but because it belonged to the tallest person in the room, filled your stomach with stones.

The memory of the familiar face shot through your mind like a bolt of lighting igniting your nerves as you tensed next to your teammates.

You were all shipped up and sent to a warehouse a couple of weeks after finding out you’d be working with kortac.

Having arrived days before they had you were granted time to stop for a drink with johnny and kyle. Price didnt join claiming he wanted to be prepared and if price isn't coming neither did ghost much to your benefit.

Maybe if he had come you would be piss drunk with the team probably getting dragged back to the warehouse by the man himself, instead you were barely tipsy with your cheek pressed into the leather seating of a stranger's car.

His broad chest rubbing against your back with each harsh thrust, the car surely visibly shaking on the outside.

You dont even have to guess how fucked you would be if he remembered you and decided to ope his mouth.

You cross your arms over your chest and lean against one of the metal support beams that the building had an abundance of.

Despite your wishful thinking the red headed man's eyes fell on you and you knew he knew.

You were quick to notice the slight quirk in his lip before going stoned face once more.

He introduced himself as “konig” before introducing the rest of his team, his eyes occasionally flicking over to you.

“Fuck sake, this guys huge.” Kyle whispered to you coming around to your side.

Kyle had no idea how true his words were, the phantom feeling of being filled by Konig's thick cock.

You nod in acknowledgement to what Kyle says letting out a sigh, “Laswell described him as a battering ram, yeah” you say.

You don't fail to notice the way Konig eyes you up every chance he gets like he had done in the bar nights prior. When you saw him in the bar he was far more blatant with his staring, his interest apparent as he shifted his stance debating on whether to approach you or not.

Rubbing the sweat built from nervousness off his palms and onto the tight cargo pants he wore he finally came over when the boys were getting another round of drinks to approach you.

The conversation between you two was short as you both seemed to have the same goal in mind: get laid.

After Simon you hadn't slept with anyone else but it was a welcomed gift to feel wanted again.

Konig was definitely someone you found attractive, you wouldn't have had breathy moans pulled from your throat in the back of his car if he wasn't.

But he wasn't simon.

A small piece of you felt guilty while the rest was saying fuck it, ghost ditched you not the other way around.

You mentally return to the conversation when you hear your name being said, you realize price is introducing the team and you give a small acknowledgement, your fingers twitching at your hip.

“Oh, I’m familiar.” König responds to your introduction with quick ease causing your teammates eyes to fall on you. Johnny gave you a knowing look of mischief, his bright blues having seen you with the man before you disappeared from the group.

“Just a brief meeting in a bar, unfortunately I did not stay long enough to meet the rest of you.” He clarifies noticing your subtle glare.

The encounter was anything but brief, you thought to yourself as the conversation was then drawn off of you.

It’s wasn’t until later that you bumped into the behemoth of a man.

“You were so vocal a few nights ago now you walk around quiet as a mouse.” He comments a smirk playing on his uncovered lips.

“You pester all your random hookups?” You retort your lips stretching into a thin line as you looked up at him.

“Just the ones I have to work with, mein Freundin.“ he chuckles ignoring your unamused expression.

“Well if that’s all I’ll be going.” You sigh not wanting to get involved any further.

But as you pass his hand grips your wrist and suddenly your back in front of him with his other hand at your chin.

He forces your head to the side and a smirk comes to his lips as he looks at the newly exposed skin .

“So schön, sie sind wie eine Blume .” And then he’s gone and already halfway down the hallway by the time you gather yourself.

Ghost walking down the opposite side of the hallway having seen the interaction from a distance. His eyes arrow on you and then the retreating redhead.

You let out a huff of frustration when you see him and reluctantly start walking in his direction.

“You two seem close, got anything you want to share?” He questioned you his tone accusatory. After weeks of barely speaking to you he breaks the silence to ask about a personal situation.

“It doesn’t concern you lieutenant.” Your quick to respond but he doesn’t want to take that answer.

“It’s concerns me when it’s involves an enemy and You.” He grumbled crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why do I concern you Ghost? I’m just someone you used to use so fuck off cause I already know what your thinking.” The words come out harsher and more bitter than what you intended. Your frustration and resentment to the man you wish you didn’t love coming out almost full force.

Ghost stiffened at your words, his jaw and fists clenching as you brushed past him.

Once he could no longer hear your steps his entire body deflated his shoulders feeling heavy with shame.

He was being unfair to you and he hated himself for it but he felt so selfishly it was hard to stop.

Ghost adjusted his mask and shook off the guilty feeling that loomed over him before continuing down his path.

You could feel your skin buzzing with irritation, your palms stinging from being squeezed into tight fists. Why did he have to make everything in your life harder every time?

No matter how many steps you take away, ghost manages to still be right on your tail. You found yourself spacing for the rest of the day until your sat across from the same person you didn't want to see again that day.

Ghost sat across from you staring you down as you ate the unappetizing food served in mess.

His gaze was unrelenting; he looked as if he was aching to say something but stopped himself instead opting to tap his finger on the edge of his empty plate idley.

“Y’think Lt’s mad at ye?” Johnny questions quietly from his place beside you. You narrow your eyes at the sergeant, “Why would he be?”

Johnny had this look on his face like he did something he wasn't supposed to as he clicked his teeth and shifted awkwardly in his seat.

“He asked aboot whit we were up to at the pub, an i think i might ‘ave talked ye into some trouble.” he confessed glancing over at simon who was still boring holes into the side of your head.

You didn't have time to retaliate against your teammate for his loose lips before simon was standing from his seat arms crossed. “We need to talk, now.” His tone was sharp, his words spoken in that usual gruff manchester accent.

You sucked your teeth and agreed not wanting to make a scene in the mess hall, mentally you vowed to eventually get johnny back for damning you.

After leaving mess ghost lead you to an unoccupied meeting room shutting the door behind the both of you.

“Looks like you got a type.” Ghost started leaning against the door with his arms crossed.

“Don’t fucking start with me ghost, what i do outside of work is none of your damn business.” you hiss plopping down on one of the many chairs in the room.

“Don't tell me it's not my business when you have a drawer of shit at my apartment.” he retorted, his eyes narrowing on you. His body was tense and his shoulders squared like he needed to move but wouldn't allow himself to.

You could feel your eyes burn as your frustration grew, your fists clenching and unclenching.

“You can throw all the shit away, i don't even know why you still even have it.” you mutter looking down at ghost’s shoes avoiding his glare.

“I kept them because i ca-” you cut ghost off before he could say anymore, “Dont you dare fucking do that to me simon!” you snap meeting his glare with glazed eyes.

Standing from the seat you approached Simon's further tensing figure. “You're a jackass, Simon, y’know why? Because i told you how i fucking felt and you fucking left. Now im living my adult life and you want to act like im your fucking girlfriend or something, let me move on!” you were borderline shouting the frustration bleeding out of your eyes and into your voice.

Simon couldnt hold your gaze anymore he couldn't stand that look in your eyes or the dampness of your cheeks. He could feel the words crawling into the back of his throat but none of them were the right thing.

What could he say to fix this, what could he do when your fury spoke so loudly that he wanted to shrink away.

“I…” he took a breath “Im sorry” his arms hung loosely by his side, fingers tapping rapidly at his palm.

“Sorry doesnt change the fact that you left, then treated me like nothing, and ar now trying to grill me about my sex life when you removed yourself from all of my personal life.”

You wiped your face as your tone came down, the short burst of aggression dying down with it.

“I'm tired simon, I devoted so much to you for so long for it all to end because you cant figure yourself out.” You bring your eye’s down to the ground again before back up at simon.

“You’ve had years of us playing this cat and mouse game, if your still confused, if your still unsure, if you don't want…” Your eyebrows pinch together as you clench your jaw.

“If you don't want me, then why are you here? Why are we even having this conversation if your actions speak your truth, because that's all I have to go off of?” Your question struck Simon and his breath caught in his throat.

He rubbed his face over the mask, the feeling of the fabric suddenly becoming so suffocating.

The rough material rubbed uncomfortably on his skin as he pulled it off his chapped lips parting for a heavy breath.

He disheveled with his messy blonde hair and eye bags that seemed deeper than usual.

“You’ve ruined everything for me…” he starts your eyebrows furrowing at his words.

“Everything in my life is so fucking mixed with yours and i can let it go. I thought avoiding you would help make you leave every piece of my being but it just made it worse. You know what happened to my family, and i dont want to use that as an excuse but im fucking terrified of seeing you in my nightmares.” Simon's lips are drawn into a thin line and his body slumps into the wall, his shoulders dropping.

“I know im an arse and big fucking mess and selfish as all hell, but i feel different for you and i dont know what to do with it.” his shaky hands clasped together in front of him.

“You have no idea how many times we’ve been together and i just wanted to have all of you, how many futures that have lingered in my mind over our years together. I want you for the rest of my life but I don't know how long that life will even be.” simon looks to you with a tired sigh.

You feel frozen in your spot the bitterness and frustration in your chest deflating into an equal exhaustion.

“Where do we go from here simon? I love you and I've loved you for over a decade but I can't keep going if you’re going to take years to tell me what you want.” You say stuffing your hands into your pockets unsure what to do with them.

“I like who i am around you, and i dont want to loose one of the only good things left in my life cause im being fucking daft. Am I too late?” his tone was soft almost a whisper. It felt so uncharacteristic for a man like simon ‘ghost’ riley to say something like this, to speak so softly and seem so nervous. You almost felt unsure about how genuine his words were but his glazed eyes had crushed your doubt.

Bringing your hands from your pockets you hesitantly grabbed simons hands before pulling them around you. He immediately melted into the hug, his hands gripping at you as if you'd disappear if he didn't hold you so tightly.

You could feel his relief as you held onto him his shaky breath evening out and his muscles going almost lax.

“We can try again.”

[Good ending] :)

[sockeye-station]

Wait is your four the captain? How did that happen?

YES! YES!! I GOT SOMEONE TO ASK ABOUT IT! I WIN!!!!

CLEARS THROAT. OKAY OKAY OKAY IVE HAD THIS ROTATING IN MY HEAD FOR A HOT FUCKN MINUTE AND ILL TRY MY BEST TO EXPLAIN IT IN A WAY THAT MAKES SENSE

OKAY. LETS REWIND ALL THE WAY BACK TO OCTO EXPANSION!!!

so! octo expansion goes all normally, we have our agent 8 fighting through the entire structure to escape, agent 3 gets brainwashed, they have to fight, yadda yadda. you probably know how it goes by now. But here's the thing.

what if i went ahead and changed a tiny thing. just the teensiest detail.

what if instead of spamming splashdowns, tartar decides to use one big fuck off booyah bomb.

"but, didn't booyah bomb come out after octo expansion?"

yes. yes it did. and that's why i chose booyah bomb specifically.

tartar whipped out the idea to use a booyah bomb from some prototypes it found out about after abducting god-knows-who, and used it despite its unstable build. No one, at that moment, knew whatever that was, what it did, how dangerous it was, or anything of the sort. This was some sort of last hurrah, as it knew that this was its last shot at stopping this failure from escaping the facility. And so it exerted Agent 3 into giving it everything he's got. Quite literally, even! It pushed him so hard, he too became unstable while trying to mantain and boost the energy ball.

The Booyah Bomb is thrown with as much power as Tartar could muster out of that creature, pretty much covering most of the arena. Once the ink settles, and Agent 8 gathers his senses, he looks around. Agent 3 is nowhere to be seen.

at no point in canon is sanitized agent 3 properly splatted throughout the fight — you only break their shield, they superjump back to their platform, and you eventually knock them out. you never splat them. so who's to say that, just like agent 8 during the ascent, they don't have a respawn anchor?

That's what I decided to play with here. Agent 3 is splatted with no respawn anchor. Agent 3 is dead.

The rest of octo expansion plays as normal, only that there's no passed out Agent 3 waiting at the helicopter.

Starting from here, Agent 8 becomes affiliated with the NSS through Cuttlefish after breaking the news, feeling like he needs to make it up for the loss they suffered as he feels responsible for it. He grows closer with Agent 4, and eventually they become closer friends, even staying at her place after she invited him once their friendship was more developed. This paragraph is mostly to explain how they know each other and how their friendship started, also explaining why my Agent 8 gives OtH Agent 4's number instead of Cuttlefish.

Okay! Now, back to the point of this ask. I actually had a bit of this typed out in a server I'm in!

[Agent 4] didn't really have a choice when it came to becoming Captain, being the fifth longest-standing member of the NSS after craig, the squisters and agent 3. craig was retiring, the squid sisters were still busy with their inkopolis celebrity scene, and [Agent 3] was dead. so she was the next best option.

she didnt really ask for this in the first place, and yet she accepted out of hopes of being acknowledged. When she was just an agent, the rest of the team didn't keep in touch with her much (except for Agent 8) after the events of OE, and at one point even stopped being called for whenever Callie got the shades on again. Whenever she patrolled, she did it without any previous call, and was rarely acknowledged by the others. She still kept visiting the canyon whenever she could after everyone else had moved on.

even after becoming the "captain", the others didnt usually reach out to her for assistance, and instead tended to act on their own. they never really took her as captain, rarely listening to her. so obviously this whole mess made her feel like absolute dogshit, questioning why she even decided to go through with this.

that title was meant for [Agent 3]. not for her. he was the one that came before her, and was better than her in so many ways. at least that's what the others kept repeating around her.

as much of a punch in the gut being constantly compared to someone else was, she kept pushing to try and make herself known, separate from the other's achievements. which is why she ended up accepting marina's request.

[crest-of-gautier]

how is it that i finished reload three months ago but it feels like a lifetime ago... ("some" thoughts about reload under the cut... spoilers obv)

reload is like a mixed bag for me. there's aspects of it that i hold near and dear to my heart (ryoji mochizuki my beloved), while some parts of reload... i'm kind of... "eh... whatever" about.

i think my feelings ultimately boils down to the fact that fes and reload are two very distinct experiences. the differences between them feels most obvious to me with the gameplay changes, and added social events (dorm activities + linked episodes).

because these two games curate a different experience, i feel awkward when i'm confronted with the question of, "what version should i play?" to me, the question kind of has the undertone of, "what is the definitive version of persona 3?"

even though reload is arguably the most convenient and accessible version of p3, i feel that when i recommend it... i internally have a bunch of asterisks that come with it. this hesitance mostly comes from my opinion that FES has more effective storytelling for the messages that P3 wants to convey.

FES's gameplay mechanics adds to minato's characterization in ways that reload doesn't. it's stuff like the tiredness system, and how it adds to the idea that death literally stole minato's chance to live life normally without complications. it's the way minato can adapt to any of the weapon types of the other party members. it's the way that the party orders/command system was designed specifically for FES and SEES really feels like co-workers for a good chunk. you don't really feel that in reload as much.

there's also some things about FES's visuals that feel better (to me). the palette of the dorms feels more somber and it enhances the atmosphere. and the half body portraits, oh, the characterization of it all that comes from body language (ryoji mochizuki you will always be famous to me). you don't quite get that when you only have a bustshot to work with.

i do realize that me expressing my grievances with missing these things from FES can be interpreted as "oh, so you don't like reload?" and i want to emphasize that this is not the case at all. i think that fes and reload are both valuable experiences, just for completely different reasons. (the same goes for portable as well, it very much has it's merits too!)

despite preferring FES' storytelling over reload's, i am hesitant to recommend it. even though the game mechanics can add to the story, they are also dated and i can see how this can turn people away. do i love how arduous the climb up tartarus feels in FES? yes. i really feel immersed in the minato-ism. but would someone else like it? no. and that's fine too.

this is where reload feels "better" than fes to me: updating it to modern gameplay standards makes it easier for players to enter a flow state. i do feel that the way they went about it did undermine some of the Vibes of the Climb™ (see my talk about the great clock on main).

theurgy is also another one of the mechanics that i'm a bit 🤔 about. i like looking at the characteristics that build the person's gauge (i especially LOVE LOVE how yukari's gauge builds), it's fun for characterization! and the visuals themselves are super appealing and fun to watch. junpei's 2nd theurgy, blaze of life, is one of my favorites because i really love how it represents his bond with chidori.

however i also feel that theurgy is... very overtuned. like, what do you mean i'm sweeping nyx avatar off her feet, i am facing death head on in the eyes and you're telling me she's a cakewalk? (this also applies to some of the other bosses.) of course you can just opt to... not use theurgy, but it feels weird for fights to be framed as "tough and unbeatable" within the narrative only to get through them with relative ease... (ludonarrative dissonance moment)

it feels really funny to write all of this out because i'm sitting here like, "you know, i don't think no one will care the way i do 😂" and that's fine, to be honest! i find it fun to think about how changes to a story can enhance or detract from the overall experience.

i do feel like i could elaborate on the story additions/removals and how some of it made me go "huh" and "whuh" but. i won't. because this post is long as is. but maybe another day. (but know that i am crying about the things they removed for aigis' storyline)

now that i'm done airing out my grievances with the gameplay, i want to talk about the things i liked about reload. even though some things had me go 🤨, i did sincerely have a fun time playing it, and i want to celebrate those things!

for one thing, the social links being voiced really added to the experience. i really, really felt myself immersed in the storylines of minato's classmates social links in ways that i didn't when i played FES. i just really loved seeing how charaters like yuko and keisuke would speak... and everyone's casting felt on point, to me!

reload is also very visually stunning. guy who doesn't play the game because they're too busy getting lost in minato's eyes. it's me. i'm guy. i really loved the animated cutscenes. it's fun seeing minato in a new coat of paint. he's so near and dear to me and seeing him in HD got me crying in the club. some things fell short (why does nyx avatar's face feel so low res...) but LIKE overall i was like, a yippee trail seeing minato interact with port island. i love seeing him walk around.

the story addition i liked the most (oh my god this is going to be such a surprise) (it's not). the ryoji episodes were everything i imagined ryoji to be. you can tell that sogabe worked on reload. i love how aleks le brought him to life. the music box drives me crazy. i love how special ryoji and minato's bond is and seeing them be like, explicitly, textually written the way they were? earth shattering, for me. they made new year's eve even more (oh no i've been flushed down the feelings lane). how the fuck did they do that!!!

i also still really love most of the ENG VA cast and what they brought to the table. allegra clark's performance as mitsuru was especially standout to me... so was zeno robinson as junpei... but GOD!!! SEES felt so lived in. i love the passion the new VAs had for the game and it felt evident to me in their performance.

and that's my reload thoughts :) i think it's nice that reload exists even if some things about it disappointed me. i do wish i didn't have a bunch of caveats when talking about it, but like... i find it very fun to dissect my feelings on it??? given that reload had some things that didn't land for me, it makes it all the more important to me to thank reload for what (i felt) it did well, and celebrate those parts of it. p3 is very near and dear to my heart and i will always cherish the bits that felt resonant with me.

speaking of which, i do think it's nice that reload has been an entry way for people to get into persona... even though i haven't been engaging with the community as much as i used to, i do like that there's been more fanwork to look at... even if not all of it is my cup of tea...! it makes me happy that there's a resurgence of ryomina, but also the entire cast is... so shapely. i cherish them dearly and seeing that others also like them as much as i do makes me really, really happy!

i hope p3 can continue to make others happy the way it made me happy! the message will stick with me for a lifetime, methinks.

oh that's a lot of gigabytes.

[epiphainie]

Can I be honest? I really don't like how the show changed the reasons for their conflict. Going from Tommy's insecurities about being the first man for Buck to Tommy being insecure about Eddie when they previously multiple times said that it wasn't an issue for Tommy. From them moving on from Buck being the one left behind to Buck being the one who said something he needs to apologise for. I don't know.

you can be honest, i'm being honest, i think this version of their conflict is not as interesting. 8x06 and 8x11 don't really contradict each other, but i agree that certain elements have already been dropped and it's a bit of a step down from what tommy actually presented as his insecurities in the breakup scene. and yeah i hate that it just circled back to buck needing to apologize because he said something bad out of feeling hurt when there was sooo much more with tommy being the first person who left him, not because he didnt love him, but precisely because how much he loved him. buck not only being wanted but also realizing it doesn't mean shit if he doesn't go and demand that he's given the chance for once...oh i could have had it all with that confrontation.

but also! it's a lesson. don't ever believe what tim says lol, like they keep throwing shit at the wall and his writing abilities goes as far as "how can i make the audiences talk about this as much as possible?" and to moderate our expectations. i love bucktommy but i also see that it will never be the one exceptional writing choice for buck, at least not in certain ways. because we will always be tied to the dynamic of buck being the main character and tommy being the supporting character. the narrative will always come back to buck's wrongs (and subsequent growth/change) and tommy reacting to that instead of having any agency of his own in the story. this is not just a bt thing either, like, look at every single conflict hen and karen have. it's always what hen does/says being the root of the conflict and karen being the mirror for her which at the end is resolved with hen apologizing/making up for it/changing from it while karen's not being granted any of her own flaws/biases/traumas/wrongs/motivations.

if anything the og breakup for bt gave tommy more in this instance. like yeah it annoys me that the fandom turned around with the narrative and expect buck to be the one to make up for it (as previously stated that's just how it is, rip the post-breakup storyline we could have) but at least the narrative itself doesn't paint tommy as flawless (yet). there's still a thread of grace for buck's side of the things, like sure, we will NEVER acknowledge how he must have felt with tommy dumping him but at least he acts in line with it and even acknowledges how fucked up it was that everyone (implied tommy) assumes he's in love with eddie. like buck will never say to tommy's face how hurt he was after the breakup and he will never say to his face how presumptive the eddie thing was but at least the narrative acknowledges that tommy is partially acting out of his own insecurities instead of fully putting it on buck. people can interpret it as they want but buck's only on-screen fault here is the i don't have feelings comment, not a million other tommy things that are being pinned on him.

(sadly i also think they already moved past the eddie thing as well and it will never be brought up again and their reconciliation will be grief/support after bobby's death substituting for all of this which is SIGH but this is the weewoo show, so)