#do you guys think sometimes about how nice and not insane 2021-2023 was

[navree]

"americans i'm so jealous of how exciting your democracies are" motherfucker i will pay actual money for this shit to be boring again. i want this man put in prison and dead and i want government to go back to being dull for everyone except nerds

[im-getting-help]

Let me tell youuu! It not only haunted me, I think it saved my fucking life.

In 2020 I came back to fandom spaces thanks to the It movies.

It started in twitter. I was lurking, looking for memes, and I found one of those screenshot fics accounts and began reading Turtle Creek. (that format was insane! I kinda miss it tho).

Eventually, ended up in ao3. The same person who was writing some of the twitter accounts wrote some fics there.

I kept reading through twitter cause, again, that format of screenshot stories was addictive and I found a very interesting fic.

This fic was a short story that was all text messages until the last chapter. In this, Eddie texts a wrong number and it turns out to be Richie, but obviously they don't know. They keep texting and I'm not going to spoil cause when I tell you this one is GOOD I'm not lying.

That fic becames one of my absolute favorites. I love that fic with my heart.

When covid restrictions stopped in my country, (around 2021) I said goodbye to It and went back to normal boring life.

You see, for the longest time I lived like a closeted fan. I'm not sure what made me so reluctant to be active in fandom but I just couldn't. I didn't want to be a fan and I was afraid to interact with communities. I didn't like, shared or comment anything. I was like a ghost, I read, y watched and I left. My close friends knew what I liked and once in a while I talked about how much I loved the It movies, but specifically online I didn't want anything to do with fandom. So, when covid stopped I thought the logical thing to do was to just go back to living "normal life".

I started uni and time passed. Then, around march of 2023 I was looking for something in the IG stories archive and found a story I made with a Pennywise filter and thought "Aw! the It fandom! Nice ❤".

A week later I can't stop thinking about It. I'm in class and I remember a meme i've seen in twitter 3 years ago and I start laughing. I find an old drive file filled with It memes I download in 2020. I go to twitter to see if I can find Turtle Creek and it's gone. I don't remember any of the user names of the people who wrote those other fics i read at the time. I never followed anyone and I never interacted with anyone, I don't remember fics names or accounts. I only have some memes and art, some from artists that they don't even have accounts anymore.

The thing is, I was entering depression again at that time. Just like in 2020, the It fandom was holding my hand and telling me "Hey! here is something lovely for you to enjoy today, life isn't horrible!" so, I relented. I came back to tumblr, I opened an account on ao3 and started looking for new fics. For some reason I thought all the fics I read on twitter were lost forever (so dramatic lol).

Months passed and istg if it wasn't for It fics I'm sure I would've dropped out of uni. I was so fucking depressed, the only thing that motivated me was reading a new one shot or next chapter and I used it as a reward to study. I used it as a reward to get out of bed sometimes. When I was really depressed I thought 'I want to know what happens in the next chapter' 'I want to read one more fic by x author', 'maybe x abandoned fic finally gets an update'.

Around september I was scrolling through the reddie tag and I find this fic, 'Wrong Number' by Blissymbolics (amazing writer!!) that sounds really interesting. Is a story in which Eddie texts a stranger by accident and it turns out to be Richie... guys... I cried re-reading that fic. It felt like finding an old friend on a crowded street and giving them a big hug. I was in a call with friend like "DUDE I FOUND IT!! I FOUND THAT AWESOME FIC I READ ON TWITTER!"

After that I think something clicked, I was like, yeah I love this place, I want to be part of the communities, I want to interact and leave comments, the writers deserve to know how much I love their works, how they make my day better every time they post.

So yeah, it haunted me, and it saved me. I honestly think it literally saved me.

has anyone else ever had a fanfic that just… haunts them? like it’s been months and maybe even years since you read it, but it just lingers with you and you can never truly leave behind the imprint it made on you? and maybe it’s just a single line, one sentence that you can’t shake off, that takes up residence in your mind and stays there, feeding into your psyche and subtly influencing your brainspace and maybe even your writing or other works?

[anosci]

(392-407 albums etc that I’ve listened to this year, copied from twitter) (now with art. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28])

names and thoughts below cut

392/ VA - Spring Track VI (2017) i dont think i can overstate how hard "Green Leaf Zone" goes god DAMN. "Irregular Withdrawal" is insanely good. 22 short D: "the king of orange skyscraper" weird vibes! fun! "boneyard" delightful midi-pushing!! "remove kortex" fascinatingly banger

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393/ DJ Manny - Hypnotized (2023) good foot funwork title track rly good! my fav i think! it captures what made me fall in love with juke, but stays fresh. "You N You" runnerup fav. also: "Opera" is kinda otherworldly. fun to see!

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394/ TEMPUS TONIC PHILHARMONIC - FLIPS Vol1 (2021) approaching skeptically… im picky about vocals but also this guy is good. so: "TELEROBOT ROCKAVISION" being familiar with the origs helps me have a fun time "IMPULSE" just a prog journey. hell yeah. "DISECTO" fun take on wobs!

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395/ LODSB - HELICON 2 (2017) kinda abstract but also not. i rly enjoy the beats within but i do not enjoy the way its organized. like it needs an editor ig? hilights…hmm. specifically 6m into t3. insanely delicious beats. t7 touches all sorts of cool sounds but RE: focus pls?

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396/ Oriental Magnetic Yellow - 養殖 XO Breeds (1996) feels like a (faux?)live version of a very banger album… …which doesn't rly work for me. esp the vocals. tho i would like to highlight the backing for "Tighten nap". it has an astoundingly 90s-tracker tightness.

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397/ Unterm Rad - Unfinished Business (2023) this feels like a modern take on the clicky beepy y2k atomtm vibe. its kinda rly rly cool actually highlights? hmm… title track is possibly the hardest one here. try "The Fact Of The Matter" to hear this album's… atonal tones(?)

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398/ VA - Twonkilation, Vol. 1 (2017) sometimes silly, sometimes banger. "Head Bang" hits both lol "Rubbish" is one of those songs that "goes hard" but is just so silly about it. I'd also like to highlight "Jump Kick". kind of a more serious version of Rubbish lol

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399/ Remote Guest List - Lonely night lead me close to the edge of enlightenment (2023) softest quietest chill. i love the weird dinks in "Long Exposure". its a very specific feeling!!

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400/ DJ Shadow - Action Adventure (2023) kind of fascinated with this! it's extremely 80s but not always. "You Played Me" is just an 80s hit. i keep coming back to it lol (idk "when" you'd place "Free For All" but its also a fav) how is "Fleeting Youth" so beautiful

--- December ---

401/ Mistabishi - Suite (2017) alternates between a soft plastic beauty and a hazy haunting dreamscape. subtly emanates late 00s vibes to me. highlights? "Neotame" and "Cyclamate" perhaps

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402/ Sean Deason - Allegory & Metaphor (2000) delightful mid-90s bleep chillout… in the year two thousand! this is one of those packages where i just tune in and zone out. all nice.

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403/ Alon Mor - Long Awaited Journey (2017) cinematic to the point where i feel like there's an accompanying movie that im not aware of. the VO stuff though… :\ but. textures. "Presudeos" woah

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404/ Ikawa - Ikawa I (2023) tracks 1 and 3 are quite nice. both have a distinctly "nighttime" flavor that the even tracks don't. i guess thats what works for me?

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405/ VA - LSDREAM REMIX SERIES (2023) mixed bag comp, but mostly quite good! hilits: "POTIONS (Kyral x Banko Remix)" really neat soundscape! "OM NAMO (Zen Selekta Remix)" god damn!!! "R.A.V.E (Xotix Remix)" the other R.A.V.E. remix didnt do much for me but this rly rly does

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406/ Small Export - Small Export I (2023) these really reach into that ukdubstep bag, to my ears! super lovely "Hypertension" might be my fav here

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