#drunk tony stark

[ljlokijinx]

Rhodey, eyeing Tony's half-empty vodka bottle worriedly: Aren't you worried about the hungover you'll have?

Tony: You can't get hungover if you don't stop drinking!

Rhodey: Yes, but you can die!

Tony: That's sort of the point.

Rhodey then proceeds to spray Tony with a water bottle.

[stunnedstarker]

But Peter doesn’t count as a love interest, not really. He can’t. They’re– partners, or- something. Whatever it is, Peter looks up to him for guidance and advice, and Tony’s already such a sorry excuse for a leader, he can’t go throwing feelings into the mix. Which is why, for maybe the hundredth time, Tony tilts his head back, eyes the ceiling, and says, “FRIDAY, open new voice message.”

A/N: This work had sorta been sitting in my stash for a long while because I’m chronically too-anxious-to-post, but the event convinced me to go for it. These prompts are fun, and the fic def is too. :)

[emdashbitch]

a Drunk History episode about the Howling Commandos narrated by Tony Stark years before he became Iron Man and the Avengers were a thing when no one actually believed Captain America would be found

[flightlogmcu]

People to Riri: Your actions are a stain on Tony Stark's legacy!

Tony, in the afterlife: They are??

[kayvsworld]

i do still think it's like. absolutely unhinged that tony's parents died in a car accident and he still drives like he does

[eddiecoweyesdiass]

tony "and you can aim for my heart, go for blood" stark and steve "but you would still miss me in your bones" rogers

[manilovetumblerusernames]

White board doodlez cos my fren n i got sidetracked :P

[persephonesfill]

tony and steve developing a telepathic connection post civil war a lá jane eyre...let me cook

[gay4rdj]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark Characters: Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Pepper Potts Additional Tags: Age Difference, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunk Sex, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Tony Stark Calls Peter Parker "Baby", Daddy Kink, Tony Stark Is a Mess, Cheating, Infidelity, Older Man/Younger Man, Song: Before He Cheats (Carrie Underwood), The Author Regrets Nothing, Fanwork Creator Projecting onto Peter Parker Summary:

"Right now, he's probably slow dancin' with a bleach-blonde tramp And she's probably gettin' frisky Right now, he's probably buyin' her some fruity little drink 'Cause she can't shoot whiskey Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool stick Showin' her how to shoot a combo And he don't know I dug my key into the side (into the side) Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive Carved my name into his leather seats I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights (both headlights) Slashed a hole in all four tires Maybe next time, he'll think before he cheats"

Except it's Peter Parker.

[vertigoartgore]

2008's Back Issue Magazine #28 (the "Heroes Behaving Badly" issue) cover by artist Darwyn Cooke (R.I.P.).

[captain-stark-rogars]

Tony Stark was drunk, catastrophically drunk. He sprawled lazily across his oversized leather sofa, one hand clutching a half-empty bottle of whiskey, the other holding tightly onto the burner phone he’d sworn to himself he would never use again. But tonight, the silence was suffocating, and he needed Steve—God, he needed him like air, like sanity.

With blurred vision, he thumbed clumsily through contacts until the familiar name shone brightly in the dimness of the room: Steve. The number had no picture, no nickname, nothing that connected it to the Steve Rogers the world knew. Just a cold, plain name on a burner phone that Steve probably didn’t even remember existed.

He pressed call, breath hitching as the ringtone filled his ears, only to slump as it switched to voicemail. But Tony didn’t hang up. Instead, he spilled every aching, drunk truth he’d been choking down.

“Hey, Stevie,” Tony slurred softly, laughing humorlessly as the alcohol curled in his stomach. “Guess I should’ve known you wouldn’t answer, huh? You never pick up anymore…especially not for me.”

Tony swallowed thickly, the burn of whiskey lingering on his tongue.

“But listen, Cap. I’m gonna tell you something anyway. Something I’ve been trying really damn hard not to tell you, because, if we’re being honest here—and fuck, why shouldn’t I be—I’m still completely and utterly in love with you. Pathetic, right?”

He laughed again, dry and hollow.

“You know, your stuff’s still here. It’s all here. Your jackets, your stupid toothbrush, that sketchbook you left on the nightstand—I never moved any of it. Sometimes… sometimes I pretend you’re just gonna walk back in the door, like nothing ever happened. Just stroll right in, say something annoyingly righteous, and all would be forgiven.”

Tony’s voice dropped to a whisper, almost broken.

“I’m losing my mind without you, Rogers. Absolutely goddamn insane. But don’t worry, I got really good at lying to everyone else around me—Pep, Rhodey, hell, even Natasha. I tell them I’m okay. I smile and laugh and throw parties. Fuck, I almost convinced myself.”

He paused, swallowing back something that felt dangerously like tears.

“But I don’t understand what I did wrong, Steve. I thought… fuck, I really thought you loved me. But instead, you ran straight into the arms of your beloved robo-man,” he spat the last words bitterly. “Good ol’ Bucky Barnes. Always him over me. Even when I begged you—begged you—to believe me.”

Tony’s voice cracked. “You wanna know something else, Stevie? That problem we had—you remember, right? Before Siberia—well, don’t worry your perfect little head. I took care of it. It’s gone, all gone now. No complications. Nothing tying you down, nothing making you come back home.”

He stopped, chest heaving as the reality of what he’d admitted finally hit him. A sob broke free before he could contain it.

“You made your choice, Cap. I guess… I guess we fools had it all, didn’t we? Had everything. And we threw it away.”

Tony sighed, heavy and tired, sinking deeper into the couch, the phone slipping loosely from his fingers onto the cushion beside him.

“I still love you, you asshole,” he murmured, voice small and trembling as the voicemail finally clicked off, leaving him alone with silence and his regrets.

[uhhuhhhhh]

Guys just got back from a party an d am now iron man 🧍‍♂️

[soonamisapphire]

Every Fifteen Minutes - ironfidus - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]

“In honor of Peter Benjamin Parker,” the obituary reads. “2001 - 2017. Peter B. Parker, 16, died on the 5th of February, 2017, as a result of injuries sustained in a car crash involving a drunk driver…”

Tony can't finish reading. He swears his heart stops. “FRIDAY,” he croaks.

He doesn’t have to finish the order; FRIDAY, as if reading his mind, activates his Iron Man suit and sends it to envelop his body. Tony is shooting through the skies before he even fully realizes it.

OR: Peter Parker was in a car crash—except... he wasn’t. One forgetful Spider-Kid, one sleepy best friend, and one misleading post on social media all lead to a disastrous turn of events, culminating in the arrival of an unexpected guest at Midtown High.

----------------

I'm crying from sadness and joy I can't even must read

I AM CRYING 😭😭😭!!!! and SMILING 😁😁😁😁 and Squeeling!!!!!!

I can't even WORD how this story effected me it was simply BRILLIANT!!!

My heart's just racing with joy

[scavengerssuccotash]

Okay an ask: how are Nat and Clint when they’re drinking? Do they drink at all? Are either of them karaoke prone afterwards?

Depends on the company! And yes, they both drink. Sometimes as a coping mechanism for the shit they go through but most of the time as a way to relax in their down time.

If they are alone with just themselves with a bottle of top shelf vodka or whiskey between them they are SHAMELESS flirts. Truly a spectacular made of terrible one liners and raunchy jokes and sloppy wet kissing. Clint’s the one prone for belching out into song, Nat can count on both hands of how many times Clint’s just started drunkenly singing into her ear. She’ll giggle and slap his shoulder while remarking how horrible his singing voice is (it’s not, she’s just a brat. She secretly loves it!) Overall they are affectionate, funny and often find themselves slumped against each other on floor giggling.

If they have company, namely the Avengers, it’s a P-A-R-T-Y!

Many a times has Thor spiked the punch with something extra from Asgard. Clint once awoke in a bed (not his) without his pants, wet and strangely smelling of pickle juice. Which in hindsight was an atrocious combination for the nausea and hangover that soon followed. Nat on the other hand found herself in the living room cuddling a shirtless Pepper with a half eaten burrito nestled between them. To this day neither knows who ordered the burrito but Nat swears up and down it was placed there for blackmail purposes. (Her bet is on Tony, Pepper thinks it was Clint) The resulting photos of this wild party nearly ended up on TMZ’s desk, but was thankfully apprehended by Steve thus saving the them from a possible PR nightmare.

Since this fateful night both Steve and Clint guard the punchbowl from Thor and Jarvis cuts outside communication for a proverbial cone of silence around Avenger’s Tower. All food delivery requests are submitted ahead of time and submitted by Jarvis. The local pizza delivery guy Thomas Heckum is a personal favorite and has some really wild stories to tell, but of course he’s paid for silence.

(This was so fun to imagine I might actually have to fic this! 😂)

Thanks so much for asking babes! 🍪🍪

As PS for you: Once Bucky joins the team a spun bottle ended the night with a hot and heavy make out between Clint and Bucky, Nat was extremely surprised and a bit flustered. 😉 That one was just for you.

Oh and Bruce ended up on the roof without pants screaming “I’m King Kong bitches!”

Clint took a video and he teases him about it to this day!

[alphinna]

anybody got these ironstrange stories?

Stephen takes care of Tony

more sharing bed fics

Stephen finds drunk Tony amusing/takes care of him (no angst/not much angst for this one please if you have any!

[mangyraccooon]

Real unimportant but does anyone remember the one stony fic where Steve kept calling tony 5+1 thingy

It was like Steve called tony to pay for his soup because he broke his credit card in a act of protest then he called cause his motor bike broke down then he called cause he was drunk and they kissed but Steve forgot then civil war happened and another call and there was a happy ending

I’ve been looking for like 2 weeks and I can’t find it and I really don’t want to be asking on A03 because it messes with the archive and stuff but I really want to read it again and bookmark it but I can’t find it and it’s driving me crazy

Anyway if you remember this fic pls tell me because it was so well written and I really want to read it again