#either way subject to change
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GRANDPA IS HERE!!!! The Angel of Death himself
Couldn’t cram any silly doodles on this one 😔 his wings were too fucjing big
Phanis Nightmare
#berryboxed#giggling#his color palette was TOUGH to figure out but I’m happy with it!!!#mainly cuz I wanted him to look like someone you’d see at a funeral#so my outline color was carrying boulders on its back with these dark aah clothes#I’m a bit worried about his face being cluttered what with the black feathers and mascara#but it might just be because I draw eyes rlly big so there isn’t much room#either way subject to change#my art#dsmp cbc#character based character#cannon based character#this is Ph1lza btw#just in case it wasn’t clear lol#medibang paint#cbc#oc#oc artwork#original character#DOTT
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3.06 // 3.07
#doctorwhoedit#dwedit#dwgifs#marthajonesedit#tenthdoctoredit#martha jones#tenth doctor#ten#tenmartha#ten x martha#*#*gifs#not sure if my intention with this set comes across but#i find it so interesting how similar these scenes are#in both martha is trying to form a connection with the doctor#either by explaining how she feels or asking how he does#only to get rebuffed by him (not in a cruel way but still)#and ultimately forget the matter entirely when he changes the subject#it's more obvious in 42 bc he diverts martha's attention by giving her the tardis key#but even in the lazarus experiment he doesn't Connect with her#instead of apologizing or saying he hadn't realized she felt like 'just a passenger' he just says 'okay' and leaves it at that#despite the fact he Has been treating her like someone who's one trip away from leaving#he needs her he wants her but he still keeps her at a distance#and does whatever's necessary to ensure she stays#sometimes martha clocks that other times she doesn't#they are so toxic it's unreal <3
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A crazy thing about Mouthwashing is that Pony Express lost communication with one of its freighters for months and didn’t send anyone to check.
A genuinely reputable company, or at the very least a decent one, would have sent someone, something out to check after about two weeks of silence. Two months is when the crew start questioning if they are even being looked for which implies they were already expecting it to take a while cause P.E just doesn’t care.
They don’t care about who they hire. They don’t care about the conditions they place their crew in or how safe the safety measures actually are. They just don’t care, made rules and regulations so they can care less and succeed in getting away with it with how little those ideas are discussed.
#back on remembering how little blame we give P.E very the real organizational problems that led to the interpersonal ones#there’s many facets to talk about MW in but it’s that people really down play the working class factor and that everyone on the ship are no#too far off from each other and you have to incorporate that into how things play out like the false prestige of being captain and curly#exudes creates this inflated idea he had unlimited capabilities to do much more when it’s clear he is ruled by the same restrictions just a#a slightly different angle same way Swansea as the mechanic can’t fix a vent not because it’s likely difficult but because he just lacks th#rescources and constant clearances needed so it’s a stagnant task#same way even when Anya gets to do nurse stuff it’s limited by what she is given#it’s all reflective about what they have to work with not being enough not even being barely enough#both on an aspect of actual tangible problems and subjective issues#something something boss makes a dollar the crew makes a dime curly makes a quarter and they all still struggle to stay above water#idk it’s very important and interesting and more tragic to me that they were all in the same bubble but their perceptions of each other and#priorities made them walk each other off and feel levels of resentment that should have been towards P.E like how Curly mainly resents them#but the others clearly take it to a more personal level like he got fired with them#is at the same point of starting over with nothing cause all his experience is worthless in a dying job field and all he got was papers tha#say he’s great at a role no one wants except for the one guy that forced him to exit#all of it for nothing all those years for nothing and he didn’t get to choose#I think it’s interesting that people assume curly got what he wanted when he wanted a choice in his future to continue as is or change just#because they feed so heavily into the birthday argument where a projecting Jimmy says Curly got what he wanted when curly corrects him ther#saying what he wanted was a life he didn’t have to escape from being forced out of something isn’t escape if you have no where to go or#everyone got to kinda make a choice whether we consider Jimmy crashing the ship or Anya telling Jimmy and later killing herself#curly being trapped feels so minimal cause it’s hard to recognize how he’s caged in by being the in between of the head and the crew he can#move freely through either as he has the power of boss to them and subordinate to the other he has to do what the company says to an extent#and hopefully mitigate anything the crew might do and the ‘perks’ of being captain are just different leashes he’s on with the crew and P.E#it’s like so hard to understand when you aren’t used to working in these type environments or have been in similar organizational power#structures but the crew being on the same sort of economic scale and class is so important to why and how they act the way they do#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#pony express#curly mouthwashing#captain curly
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been hearing rumors that the "i'm always straight" lines may have been cut from the GN and IF that is true, I expect everyone will be super mad about that--and ngl i'd mourn the loss of it too because it has become iconic to me
But. i can't believe i'm playing devils advocate for this, BUT it is not entirely unreasonable for an adaptation of this work to decide it does not want to reference Ronan's sexuality yet......coming to terms with his sexuality is (one) part of his arc in the 2nd book. Adam Parrish being ~the 2nd secret he doesn't want to admit to himself~ , Ronan's catholic guilt homoerotic nightmares and the like, all characterize his sexuality as something he might vaguely be aware of but seriously struggles to openly admit. I don't think he even uses the word gay or any other word to describe himself in the whole series? (unless I'm forgetting something?)
So, idk, it's not unreasonable to want the (hypothetical) audience to also not be aware of it until Ronan is forced to directly grapple with his identity next book.
i think this is one of those things that has become very dear to the fandom over time, but if i look at it objectively without my feelings, i just.....i do understand why someone could conceivably decide that this off-handed bitchy "he's gay btw" joke is not of dire importance for the sanctity of the story 😭 in the 'pros don't outweigh the cons' sort of way....
#like..#in context of TRB it has some plausible deniability as just a teenage boy standard 'your gay' joke#but coming from adam#someone not characterized as immature in the typical way#it can read like a genuine observation (it did to ME when I read the book the first time and I didnt even know ahead of time which/if any-#were gay) its an observation that he IS being bitchy about rn but only bc ronan was just being bitchy to blue#and like. it comes off differently from adam because he is also not straight (but idk if ronan knows that so who knows how he took it)#wish we had his pov for that moment tbh#it is my personal head canon that Ronan lynch has never officially 'come out' to anyone#'coming out' has way too much of an emotionally vulnerable connotation to it. and i think all of these teen boys would rather die-#-than be even a little emotionally sincere on purpose. td3 said ronan thinks hes the only queer person at his school mind you#and with all the catholic guilt he has about it?? i dont think he is secure enough to openly talk about it#i always imagined Adam and /probably/ gansey have had to put two-and-two together over time on their own#any time the topic of girls or dating casually comes up i imagine ronan glaring into the distance / avoiding the question /changing subject#b/c he does not want to lie but he does not want to say anything else either so he says nothing#and his silence is so loud that his friends just. make some natural guesses#i think THAT would be his only plausible method of 'coming out'#ronan's sexuality is other peoples problem he is sure af not going to talk about it. that feels the most in character to me#(at least at this stage in his life-- while he's an insecure teenager)#yarrow reads trc 2.0#yarrow reads trc#the raven cycle#the raven cycle graphic novel#forgive me i am not like. invalidating whatever deeply personal relationship someone may have with 'thats the biggest lie you ever told'#its just my onion i swear its not some kind of 'gotcha'#i was really surprised by the extreme emotional attachment so many people apparently have with 'hey tiger'#a line i would've assumed was changed for no reason deeper than just 'sounding kind of awkward and unnatural'#but the dissertations ive read on it in the past couple days..apparently i underestimate the emotional toll of any given quote in this book#i dont envy anyone who tries to adapt it lmao
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thoughts on thistle and yaad's dynamic that i vomited in the tags of another post but will now try to articulate here: they're not actually family, or at least they shouldn't be. not in a conventional sense anyway. framing them as uncle and nephew (even in a non-literal, silly fantasy world way) rides more on technicality than anything concrete.
what i mean by this is yaad calls thistle by name and says he and delgal were raised "like" brothers. he talks about thistle like he's an outsider imposing himself into the melinis' space, and it's clear that thistle was never legitimized as a member of the family. for thistle's part, though we don't know how he would treat yaad pre-demon brainrot, it's safe to assume based on the way he punishes him—turning him into a doll—and how little is shown in the way of any sort of relationship between them that thistle only cares* about yaad as an extension of delgal (otherwise i'd expect something like kabru and milsiril, because it's not like another complicated interspecies family dynamic would be out of place, yet there's next to nothing on them even in bonus content, just their scant interactions in the main story).
in essence, they're strangers to one another. thistle's desperation to preserve the illusion of a family, a model where he doesn't even fit, was the snare they were caught in for the past thousand years of stasis. yaad-as-nephew is a prop to uphold that illusion, and thistle is playing a role he's unfit to play. in the context of post-canon interactions, attempting to reconstruct that facade would only be a reenactment of trauma for them both (in a deeply compelling way i'd love to watch unfold, tbh), as that "uncle and nephew" framing places thistle in an implicit position of power over someone he's already traumatized through misuse of authority in the past, a role which also perpetuates his adultification and yaad's infantilization in turn. it'd mostly be an obstacle to any real connection.
best to burn the melini family bridge, i think, and if there's still anything salvageable left in the rubble, let something different supplant it.
#not to say i don't enjoy when they're portrayed as a weird set of uncle and nephew - that's really fun too#i think their history and shared connection to delgal would be a key element to their dynamic no matter what#and it's something they would tryyyy to make work at some point. for lack of other options.#it's not smn i take too seriously either! but thinking about it for more than 2 minutes makes me go oh yikes#i do think they could be family - i'm a certified sucker and sap so i want them to be - but#growth means moving past that more conventional way of thinking of family#side note as someone with a large extended family i DO have uncles who are younger than me lmao#but i'm viewing the whole uncle + nephew thing with thistle and yaad more symbolically for the purposes of this#additional note the fantasy age-fuckery and power dynamics at play means thistle has been in an actual position of authority#over his younger family members like any older relative would be in spite of his being quite young and immature#so. no. don't try to be his uncle anymore. and he isn't your nephew. and oh god he isn't your dead brother let it go. stop with the labels#don't try to resurrect that corpse (< writing them trying to resurrect that corpse as we speak)#not sure if these tags are coherent pero basta lang. yaad and thistle stay complicated forever that's all i want#feel free to chime in or disagree as i'd like to crack into this like crispy lechon and my opinions are subject to change#roomba media#thistle#yaad#thistle & yaad#melinis#dm#dunmeshiposting#dunmeshi spoilers#thistle dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#edit: changed some inaccurate wording in this one whew. english
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The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost — Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Aka thinking about Wyll and my Gorion’s ward again.
#someone told me once that rangers change like the falling leaves in spring’s last frost#anyways#I love wyll#I love imagining tiny wyll being an absolute pain to Faron#I was going to just do young Faron but idk I think this is dead Faron regardless of his appearance#do you think wyll would be worried about gorion’s ward seeing him as he is#because either way I think Faron has naught but comfort for the subject#anywaysss#Gorion’s ward#bg3 gif set#bg3 gifs#modded bg3#bg3#baldurs gate 3#wyll Ravengard#Faron ward#wyll bg3#my favorite Robert frost poem is the road not taken actually#i know it’s a bit of a trite choice#but regardless#unfortunately people misinterpret it so badly#but I’ve gone into that before
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Reborn World Swap
A scenario that’s been on my mind for a while now is one where Reborn gets hit with the TYL bazooka but instead of swapping places with his TYL self, the bazooka malfunctions and instead he’s swapped roles with the Reborn from a parallel world (that more closely aligns with the canon KHR timeline. Let's call him Canon!Reborn for now), where he never met Apple and she never existed. And this swap happens to last for a few days. No one can tell why.
Canon!Reborn coming to the In Somnis world confused as to who this woman is and why she appears heartbroken when he says he doesn’t know her (and yet she’s strangely okay with it too. There’s a forlorn acceptance and understanding in her expression that he decides he also does not like very much at all).
It also annoys him the way everyone else is shocked he doesn’t know her and quite upset at him for it. He ends up sorta avoiding Apple (not in a rude or awkward way but really that's just a stranger to him so he treats her as such) and just goes about his regular routine of torturing tutoring his students. I think over time though he would unintentionally grow attached. Maybe not quite in love with this strange but warm woman but he grows fond. And maybe. Just maybe if given the chance he could see himself loving her too. And there’s a few other things in the IS world which I think would shock Reborn but I can’t say because of spoilers.
Meanwhile the IS!Reborn being in the canon-aligned universe and wondering where the heck Apple is. This world is fine. There’s nothing wrong with it. His students are well, Tsuna is happy and growing and learning each day. But it’s remarkably emptier to him. Not to mention he feels especially trigger happy whenever people give him strange looks when he asks about Apple or certain other people.
This Reborn isn't happy about this world (neither of them are for different reasons). When they do eventually switch back, there's a wistfulness there as they contemplate their own set of circumstances how different the world is on the other side.
#sorta lost steam by the end but it's okay I may just write this as a proper oneshot one day#since I plan on having a separate side story/extra stories section for In Somnis to explore the things I didn't have a chance to#this is not a way for me to say either world is worse or better in anyway#they're just different but know that Reborn is happy in each one (in that point in time) or so I like to think#(also still a lot subject to change there for IS and I won't say when in the timeline this swaps happens lol)#also for the new comers here if you take the time to read this post#first hello hi! Please know In Somnis refers to the name of the fanfiction I'm currently working on for Apple!!#verse: in somnis#canon: reborn#oc: apple
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I've been having more Symptoms than usual lately but that's probably fine and cool right
#like more obsessive/compulsive behavior and dissociation#what if i died driving to my psychiatrist this morning hahaha jk. unless...#literally started dissociating during my appointment with him but i was just like#hm i dont wanna have to change the subject and i dont really have time to bring it up anyway :/ guess ill just deal#then i had a bad scare with my cat after the ONE TIME i didnt do my checking all the locks compulsion and i think that made it worse#had to ask my gf to take us straight home instead of driving us somewhere to get dinner after we went out#bc on the way i was suddenly struck with a Fear that told me that if we kept going that way then something bad would happen#been doing okay for the past few hours i think but now my gf is asleep and i just spent. idk how long?#maybe a few minutes maybe a lot of minutes#pacing back and forth in the bathroom at night in front of the mirror before i finally remembered that i have a phobia of mirrors lol#so. thats where my dissociation is at rn i guess#maybe i just need sleep#thats probably it tbh. havent slept well for weeks/months and i slept even less well than normal last night#probably will delete later i think this is the ventiest vent post ive done in a long time lol#but then again maybe this post isnt even real in the first place 🤔 maybe im not writing or posting it rn 🤔 whos to say#guess i should probably go to sleep either way tho huh#rambling#dissociation tw#unreality tw#?
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Truthfully -
I respect Gege’s decision, I can see how this pans out story wise. I actually thought it would be Kenjaku in his body, but this makes more sense to tip the scale away from Sukuna’s favor.
Do I like it? Not really. Do I want to watch Gojo die a second time? No because that’s weak and honestly the first death scene is more honorable to me.
If this means that Yuta exists inside Gojo now (which I feel like we’ve been getting parallels between them up to this point) - what a shame to his own character.
If this means that Gojo exists as a tool to be used - that’s another shame.
I was holding onto hope that the binding bow would work in somehow. Gojo losing an eye or all his powers even makes more sense to me & I think tells a better story. I would rather see the fall of the strongest than this.
He’s been reduced to a weapon and it really does break my heart.
Tragic, really. But it’s Gege, so I am not surprised.
Addition: thinking about it there is also a lot of parallels with Suguru. I think how this fight pans out will solidify my true feelings over it.
#jjk leaks#jjk manga leaks#jjk 261#mind you I’m going off recent leaks I haven’t fully caught up so#opinion is subject to change#either way our baby boy is in our safe hands#and by our I mean the fandom
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Boy oh boy am I so glad I use my online space how I want and have the wherewithal to not cave into guilt trippy posts about how you should always all day every day 24/7 subject yourself to the horror of the world wide news and also make your entire blog about it
#Jean mumbles#Anytime I do see something cross my dash about the humanitarian crises happening in the world#I see it. And I go. Holy fuck. That is awful. I'll do what I can in my own time and in my own way to try and help with that#Rather than reblogging it with 10 (minimum) guilt trips about how anyone who doesn't reblog it or share my exact views is scum#I come here to be educated and look at as many sides to arguments as I can#And then I make my own conclusion#And usually keep that conclusion to myself#Because this is a place on the internet for me to sit down and undo my belt and tie and buttons on my shirt and just#Sigh#And relax#And there's nothing wrong with that#Hey. Hey you. Internet stranger who is reading this.#There is nothing wrong with doing that with YOUR space either#You are not mandated to subject yourself to trauma and burnout in order to make yourself feel better about the travesties going on#Learn about what's happening from a trusted news source#Also learn about what's happening from untrusty news sources#Keep in mind what is happening but don't use it as a bludgeon against you#You didn't hit the button that sent the missiles. You didn't miss your chance at being the one to stop another violation of human rights.#You didn't do that. You can try to help make a better change. But you weren't the one to cause it#Other people did it#A big part of activism is fixing problems that were caused by other people. Past and present.#Okay? Okay#Now go have fun
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Now I'm not saying I want to wear things like crop tops or short shorts but I just wish I could without being reprimanded and reminded that I'm not something the public should "have to be subjected to."
#like sorry for being born i guess#I'm only acceptable when I wear long sleeves and clothes 2 sizes too large and only when they never touch my body lest they#reveal the abnormality underneath and I can have my orthoses but they need to look like jewellery because otherwise The Public#will have to experience the horror or existing in the vicinity of someone who isn't built in a typical way. well sorry about it.#i didn't ask for it either.#but I was born like this and there's nothing i can do about it#because there's just one surgeon in the whole country and he said that it doesn't seem to be affecting my heart so whi cares#well i care because if i try to wear a shirt that fits my grandma tells me to go change. that I can't go outside like that.#that i should be ashamed. and when i need to change my shirt i have to do it when everyone leaves.#because I know from my mother that it's a disgusting sight. i know I'm something they put trigger warnings on.#and people always tell me not to worry about my body so much but god it's the only one I've got and you'd spend a lot of time#thinking about it too if you had to pause and ask yourself 'will this potentially reveal my silhouette if i pose or move a certain way?'#every time you got dressed. when i had very big issues with gastroparesis i kept talking about food.#because you'd be thinking about it too if you had to take a pill or two before every meal and you could only take two pills a day#and even then there was a chance you'd suffer for 24 hours. you'd think about it.#i have to think about clothes because I can't wear them unless they flow. unless they're comically oversized. unless I'm sure there's no way#I'd Harm™ the oh so well-regarded Public Masses™ by subjecting them to the terror of catching a glimpse of the outline of my fucking body.#my family wouldn't allow it and when I'm not near them and make an oopsie i know that strangers notice and stare#the same way they stare at people in wheelchairs or people with canes (that's also me by the way) or people with leg prosthetics#they stare the way they stare at people with facial asymmetry or with alopecia or at people with limited mobility of half of the face#the way they stare at people with missing fingers or polydactyly or anything else you can think of. anything that makes The Masses™#think 'If i were them i would never leave my home. How dare they? Don't they know we; the diligent citizens; are here too?'#as if the only person who has a right to exist is the outwardly perfectly typical 100% average and preferably conventionally attractive#specimen
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aroallo arthur cervero my beloved send post
#look im thinking abt him and it's fun way to read his character#romance-neutral aro arthur who wouldnt hate to be in a 'romantic' relationship#but he doesnt experience romantic attraction nor does he seek out those kinds of relationships#partnerships just kinda. happen to him. if they ever do.#categorizing anything as 'romantic' is not his priority either he just loves/cares for the people around him in different ways#anyway yeah never enough aspec headcanons for ordem characters#also headcanons subject to change etc etc i can never make my mind up about my little guys#dont mind me im just rambling
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like as somebody who does invasive species management / removal in my free time i still think its so fucking stupid whenever people freak out about hybridization of an invasive species with a v similar native one like. ok you little eugenicist obsessed with purity. i think youre wrong AND an asshole.
#my fucking textbook was like WE'RE DESTROYING SPECIES BEFORE THEY CAN EVEN FORM#and im like. thats stupid as shit man#granted i want to do more reading about the subject but theres so much insane eugenicist shit in the literature///#like wtf is this obsession with 'purity' in the organisms DNA.#not to mention this is the same textbook that was giving credence to overkill hypothesis (racist garbage theory)#so like. ughh it is really all the way down all the way down.#pomodoriwhines#i have a lot of complicated feelings about invasives in general (not their fault people are weird about them) and 100% of it stems from how#xenophobic the attitudes are about them. I believe in empowering people thru land management tho so they are an excellent vehicle for --#--teaching. but yea i dont think they're ever going to 'exterminated' or w/e AND wanting that is incredibly short sighted. cruel. and wrong#like especially if the hybrid is even better adapted to the area than either of the parents you know?#you could make an argument that the hybrids might not be able to continue the relationships they have with other organisms but i think thats#extremely unlikely#esp as many species can adapt p quickly to small changes. not all of them obvs#but like/…..
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Going through it rn
#i am not happy with the way I draw. not in the slightest#I dont like my subject matter and I don't like my execution either#maybe its just the depression hitting but idk#I want something new that i actually enjoy#i wanna make some shit that connects with people in the way I want it to#though i cant get myself to draw & put in the effort to change and it’s making me very upset#andy rambles
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Just as I got used to how young That Man sounded in Xrd and Overture- I'm thrown back to where his voice had that deep intimidating vibe instead- can't catch a break ;;
#drama cd liveblog#mm that does bring up a question I've had on the back burner though-#how *is* That Man achieving immortality?#I would write off the change of voice as a new direction for his character *if* it wasn't for one line in Overture#where it's directly mentioned that he's young (like a child if I remember right- could be wrong about that bit though)#that makes me wonder if That Man doesn't have an extended lifespan in the way a gear does#instead maybe he's someone who's kept alive by something like cloning?#like making younger versions of himself to either continue his work or transfer his consciousness into directly#I don't think That Man has involved himself as a test subject in the gear project from what I've seen#so I think he uses some other method to stay alive long enough for him to feel his work is finished#... If that makes any sense?#I might be completely off- it's a bit of a shot in the dark
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when the audhd is fun until you become "i really really really have to give my input/side/idea and i dont give a fuck who's talking or what everyone was initially talking about" and before this site's illiteracy kicks in i'm certain we're all guilty of this to some extent
#well i'm not fucking talking to you am i#this is not directed at every reader but i think even if you think ''i'm not that bad#chilllli yelps#not everything autism/adhd/audhd does is cool we do annoying shit sometimes and that's just a fact that yall dont wanna hear#it's also ok to make mistakes and it's ok for your brain to have flaws#but also when you interrupt people to say smth that either no one cared to hear. no one was even saying. or fuck maybe someone already said#it. it's a little fucking annoying and when you do it over and over and over and over sometimes people get sick of your shit#you have flaws you are imperfect and your ego will be your social death if you do not learn to allow others to speak#fuck#if people start screaming at me btw cause i said smth that's true i'm blocking and deleting that shit#work on yourself#i also know yall are gonna be like ''oh well *I* never interrupt people and when i do i apologize you should at least do a small self evalua#just a small ''well do i listen to my friends very well? do i listen to the conversation i am a part of?"#also to yall who go into discord calls and lurk but sometimes talk think ''when i speak is it actually relevant to some extent?#or if you REALLY wanna talk about it it's ok just try to find a way to segway into what you wanna talk about cause that's how conversations#work.#i dont really expect this post to go anywhere tbh i'm just kinda frustrated cause i know a lotta neurodivert people who do this and idk how#say that interrupting people is annoying and disrespectful cause i know the brain chemical gets excited when it has smth it wants to talk-#about#i love you and i want you to tell me things. i also want to say things and when you talk over me to tell me things it comes off as you not#giving a fuck what i or others even are saying cause you're taking over the conversation with your shit that's irrelevant and no one has-#mentioned#idk i think i'm tired of seeing people be disrespected all the time but not knowing a polite way to tell them that they need to wait their-#turn to speak and when it's appropriate to change the subject
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