#elf bar 1%

[tidalvape]

A Comprehensive Guide to Tidal Vape: Your Ultimate Vaping Destination in the UK

Vaping has become increasingly popular in the UK, and for good reason. Whether you’re a seasoned vaper or just starting your journey, finding the right products and reliable suppliers is essential. Tidal Vape is a trusted name in the UK vaping community, offering a wide range of products to cater to every vaper’s needs. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore everything Tidal Vape has to offer, from disposable vape kits to advanced vape kits, e-liquids, and much more.

Why Choose Tidal Vape?

Tidal Vape is more than just an online vape shop; it’s a one-stop destination for all your vaping needs. With a vast selection of high-quality products, competitive prices, and exceptional customer service, Tidal Vape stands out as a top choice for vapers in the UK. Here’s why:

Extensive Product Range

Tidal Vape offers an impressive variety of vaping products, ensuring that every customer can find exactly what they need. Whether you’re looking for a simple disposable vape kit or an advanced vape kit, Tidal Vape has it all.

Disposable Vape Kits: Perfect for those who want a convenient, no-fuss vaping experience, Tidal Vape’s disposable vape kits are among the most popular products. The Elf Bar Disposable Pod Device is a top seller, offering a hassle-free vaping solution with no need to refill or recharge.

E-Liquid UK: Tidal Vape provides a diverse selection of e-liquids, catering to all flavor preferences. Whether you prefer fruity, dessert, or tobacco flavors, you’ll find something to love. The Elf Bar Vape Liquid is particularly popular, known for its rich and satisfying taste.

Advanced Vape Kits: For those who want more control over their vaping experience, Tidal Vape offers a range of advanced vape kits. The Voopoo Argus A Pod Vape Kit and the OXVA Xlim Pro 2 Kit are standout choices, providing customizable settings and enhanced performance.

Starter Vape Kits: If you’re new to vaping, Tidal Vape has you covered with starter kits that are easy to use and provide a smooth introduction to the world of vaping. The Uwell Caliburn G3 Pod Vape Kit and Xros 4 Nano are ideal for beginners, offering a perfect balance of simplicity and functionality.

Pod Kits: Compact and portable, pod kits are great for vapers who are always on the move. Tidal Vape stocks popular options like the Wenax Q Pro and xros 4 nano, which offer a sleek design and excellent performance.

Competitive Pricing and Deals

One of the key reasons vapers choose Tidal Vape is the competitive pricing. Whether you’re purchasing vape kits, e-liquids, or accessories like replacement coils and 18650 e-cig batteries, Tidal Vape offers some of the best prices in the UK.

In addition to everyday low prices, Tidal Vape frequently runs promotions and offers discounts, such as vampire vape deals, allowing customers to save even more on their favorite products. This commitment to affordability makes Tidal Vape a go-to choice for budget-conscious vapers.

Quality and Safety

When it comes to vaping, quality and safety are paramount. Tidal Vape ensures that all products meet stringent quality standards, offering only the best to its customers. Whether you’re buying premium vape juice, ceramic coils, or 100 VG juice, you can trust that you’re getting a product that has been thoroughly tested and approved.

Tidal Vape also provides detailed product descriptions and customer reviews, helping you make informed decisions about your purchases. This transparency builds trust and ensures that you receive exactly what you expect.

Exceptional Customer Service

At Tidal Vape, customer satisfaction is a top priority. The team is dedicated to providing excellent service, whether you need help choosing the right product or have questions about your order. Their knowledgeable staff is always available to assist, making your shopping experience as smooth and enjoyable as possible.

Convenient Online Vape Kit Shopping

In today’s fast-paced world, convenience is key. Tidal Vape’s online store is user-friendly and easy to navigate, allowing you to browse and shop from the comfort of your home. With a wide selection of products, secure payment options, and fast shipping across the UK, Tidal Vape ensures that you get what you need quickly and efficiently.

Exploring Tidal Vape’s Product Range

Now that we’ve covered why Tidal Vape is a trusted name in the UK vaping community, let’s take a closer look at some of the popular products available.

Disposable Vape Kits

Disposable vape kits are ideal for vapers who want a simple and straightforward experience. These kits come pre-filled and ready to use, with no need for refilling or maintenance. Tidal Vape offers a range of disposable vape kits, with the Elf Bar Disposable Pod Device being a standout option.

Elf Bar Disposable Pod Device: This device is perfect for those who want a portable and easy-to-use vape. It’s available in various flavors, providing a satisfying experience with every puff. The device is small, discreet, and perfect for on-the-go vaping.

E-Liquids

E-liquids are the heart of your vaping experience, and Tidal Vape offers a wide variety to suit every taste. Whether you’re looking for a traditional tobacco flavor or something more adventurous, Tidal Vape has you covered.

Elf Bar Vape Liquid: Known for its high-quality ingredients and rich flavors, Elf Bar Vape Liquid is a top choice among vapers. It’s available in various nicotine strengths, making it suitable for both new and experienced vapers.

E-Liquid UK: Tidal Vape stocks a comprehensive selection of e-liquids in the UK, from fruity blends to dessert-inspired flavors. Whether you’re looking for something sweet, tangy, or savory, you’ll find it here.

Advanced Vape Kits

For vapers who want to take their experience to the next level, Tidal Vape offers a range of advanced vape kits. These kits provide more control over your vaping experience, with features like adjustable wattage, temperature control, and more.

Voopoo Argus A Pod Vape Kit: This advanced kit is perfect for vapers who want a powerful and customizable device. It features a sleek design, adjustable settings, and a long-lasting battery, making it a top choice for serious vapers.

OXVA Xlim Pro 2 Kit: Another great option for advanced vapers, the OXVA Xlim Pro 2 offers precision control and superior performance. It’s designed for those who want to fine-tune their vaping experience and enjoy a high-quality vape.

Starter Vape Kits

If you’re new to vaping, Tidal Vape’s starter kits are the perfect place to begin. These kits are designed to be user-friendly and provide everything you need to get started.

Uwell Caliburn G3 Pod Vape Kit: This starter kit is ideal for beginners, offering a simple and intuitive design. It’s easy to use, with a straightforward setup and smooth vaping experience.

Xros 4 Nano: Another excellent option for new vapers, the Xros 4 Nano is compact, easy to use, and delivers consistent performance. It’s perfect for those just starting their vaping journey.

Pod Kits

Pod kits are popular for their convenience and portability. Tidal Vape offers a variety of pod kits that are perfect for on-the-go vaping.

Wenax Q Pro: This pod kit is known for its sleek design and excellent performance. It’s easy to carry and use, making it a great choice for vapers who need a reliable device for everyday use.

Voopoo Argus A: Another top-selling pod kit, the Voopoo Argus Pro offers a combination of style, power, and portability. It’s perfect for vapers who want a high-quality device that’s easy to take anywhere.

Accessories and Replacement Parts

In addition to vape kits and e-liquids, Tidal Vape also offers a wide range of accessories and replacement parts to keep your device in top condition.

Replacement Coils: Tidal Vape stocks a variety of replacement coils to ensure your device continues to perform at its best. Whether you need coils for a specific kit or a universal option, you’ll find it here.

18650 E-Cig Batteries: For those using advanced vape kits, Tidal Vape offers high-quality 18650 e-cig batteries. These batteries are reliable and long-lasting, providing the power you need for extended vaping sessions.

Vampire Vape Mixing Calculator: If you enjoy customizing your e-liquids, the Vampire Vape Mixing Calculator is a handy tool that helps you achieve the perfect blend every time.

Special Deals and Promotions

Tidal Vape is committed to offering great value to its customers, which is why they frequently run special deals and promotions. Whether you’re looking to buy e-liquid online in the UK or get a discount on your next vape kit, Tidal Vape’s promotions help you save on your favorite products.

Vampire Vape Deals: These deals offer significant savings on popular Vampire Vape products, including e-liquids and accessories. Keep an eye on Tidal Vape’s website for the latest offers.

Elf Bar 1%: If you’re a fan of Elf Bar products, you’ll love the discounts available on Elf Bar 1% items. These promotions make it even more affordable to enjoy your favorite flavors.

Vape Prices: Tidal Vape is known for offering competitive vape prices, making it easier for customers to find high-quality products at affordable rates.

Conclusion

Tidal Vape is a leading name in the UK vaping community, offering a vast selection of high-quality products, competitive prices, and exceptional customer service.

[vapeandgo]

Experience the Next Generation of Vaping with Vaporesso XROS PRO

The New Vaporesso XROS PRO Kit elevates pod vaping to a pro level. Its powerful 0.4Ω pod and adjustable wattage unleash bold flavours and clouds, while AXON Super Pulse and COREX Heating Tech guarantee consistent performance. The intuitive interface and long-lasting battery make it effortless to enjoy, and its compatibility with all XROS pods adds versatility. Power through your day with the XROS PRO's massive 1200mAh battery, letting you vape for hours without worry.

[questionable-sanity]

Xianle Quartet is a top tier polyship not only because of the metric ton of emotional baggage (and the sheer volume of sexual tension and awakening possible between 3 virgins and an effectively celibate fertility god), but also simply because they're all from a country renowned for beauty and pretentiousness, therefore treating impossible beauty standards as the norm.

Xie Lian's canon internal thoughts consist of not infrequently calling people ugly. Can we blame him? He was raised constantly surrounded by and continues to surround himself with devastatingly attractive people. Feng Xin, canonically olive-skinned and handsome, archer's figure. Mu Qing, canonically delicate-appearing and pretty. Hua Cheng, growing up to be tall and savagely beautiful.

Meanwhile, Hua Cheng is a literal fashionista, decked out in every possible silver accessory at any given moment, jingling like a Christmas elf and fabulous while doing it. He throws money around on luxury items just because he can, and his taste is impeccable. Mu Qing straight up destroys his own statues if they're ugly, literally described as wearing luxurious robes that he probably made himself because no one could do it better. They're the divas of this operation. They're judging you, hard, and they want you to know it, so you will.

Xie Lian is the equivalent of the naturally beautiful friend who doesn't wash their face with anything but a bar of soap and comes out looking flawless. He needs absolutely zero fashion sense because he could wear a trash bag and people would think it looks high fashion. Feng Xin is the himbo friend who washes with 10-in-1, yet his skin glistens in the sun like an oiled up ancient greek olympian. He does a normal amount of working out and comes out shaped like Captain America. They're simply God's Favorite, so they don't need to try.

Basically, I picture them as the blindingly hot polycule walking around like the Cullens entering their high-school cafeteria. Hair blowing in an invisible wind. Throwing incredible amounts of shade in the communication array.

They're hot. They're judgmental. They're literally the Mean Girls.

[thebigbiwolf]

Spittle - Part 1/2

Summary: The chocolate seems innocent enough - if you look past the Infernal writing on the wrapper, and with so few pleasures in the wilderness, you all but jump at the chance to sneak yourself a small treat.

Unbeknownst to you, the bar is infused with succubus spittle. Just one square is rumored to contain enough potency to send a mortal into the throes of ecstasy.

This is what happens when you eat half the bar.

Fic Tags: Sex Pollen (kinda), aphrodisiacs, succubus magic, a bit of dom!Astarion, unprotected piv, overstimulation, he talks you through it (iykyk), more tags will be added later.

Fic Warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Dubcon (if you squint), Language, No use of Y/N, magical influence

Read on AO3: Here

A/N: Remember the dead spider? I remember the dead spider. Anyways, the reception I've been getting on Starvin', Darlin' has me wanting to thank everyone with a one-shot. This got away from me so I went ahead and split it into two parts.

I've never written anything like this and it was significantly more difficult than a multi-chapter fic. I hope everything comes across the way its supposed to! And a huge thank you to my beta @imaginarydromedary for...you know... encouraging me to post this, despite everything.

From what you could tell, there wasn’t much to the apothecary. 

As you push open the dilapidated doors, your first thought is to search for supplies - anything that could help if things went south on your way to the goblin camp. 

Dried herbs hang from the rafters beneath a thin veil of cobwebs, filling your lungs with a pungent clash of scents. Empty bottles lined the shelves along the wall, caked in several months worth of dust. Large chunks of the building were missing where stone met splintered wood, some areas almost entirely overtaken by greenery.

You step over broken shards of pottery, scanning over the floor and countertops for something - anything that may be of use, but to your disappointment, it seems like the shop was entirely ransacked long before your arrival.

You sigh deeply, knowing you’ll likely never hear the end of this from your companions. It was your idea to search the village. You were the one who suggested taking out the goblin scouts, exerting everyones’ energy, and now you’re afraid you’ll have very little to show for it.

You catch a glint of gold, an object reflecting the sun's rays beneath a pile of rubble. You kneel down to brush away the surrounding debris, thankful for even the smallest promise of coin before your hands catch on… some sort of serrated edge?

You pull at it, and it easily comes loose. It's a thin, rectangular block, just barely larger than the length of your hand. You wipe away some of the dirt with your sleeve, revealing an intricately designed foil wrapping underneath.

As you speculate what this might be, you hear footsteps approaching from behind, light and familiar. You turn to face the elf with a smirk.

“You’re supposed to be the stealthy one.” You chide at him, playfully, “Or has my blood put a little skip in your step?”

Astarion scoffs. “I’ve been here the entire time, watching you fumble around in the dirt.” 

Crimson eyes study you, then the object you’re holding. He places his hands on his hips, head cocked to the side with a raised brow. “Is that what you’ve dragged us all the way here for?”

“First of all,” you waggle a finger at him, “You’re especially grumpy when you’re tired. I’ll have to make a note to prioritize your beauty rest. Second, I haven’t finished looking around, but check this out.”

You hand the bar to him as you stand. The cool skin of his fingers brush against your own, and you’re irritated with the way your heart skips at the brief contact. Why did the one man you found attractive in your camp have to be such a primadonna? And such a huge pain in the ass? 

Astarion’s eyes scan over the textured paper with suspicion, angling it towards the light to get a better look. The golden wrapping is stamped with an image of red lips On the back, letters twist and curve in a language you don't recognize, following a single circular pattern where they meet in the center. You’ve never seen anything like this, neither in your travels, nor within the city walls of Baldur’s Gate.

“Where did you find this?” 

You shrug, then point to the pile next to you. “It was buried right there.” 

He silently stares at the foil, mouth pursed, until your patience begins to wear thin.

“Well, can you read it or not?”

His nose scrunches. “Of course I can’t read it. It’s written in Infernal.”

That’s… odd. Why would an ordinary apothecary sell goods made by devils? Or, worse, for devils. Unless, of course, it was some sort of marketing trick, perhaps a play on the phrase ‘sinfully sweet’, or some other cringeworthy branding.

You take it back, turning it over in your hands before tearing at the corner of the wrapping. It's sectioned into dark, rich squares, and smells indisputably like chocolate.

“It looks like candy.”

“An excellent observation.” he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Now, can we go? We’ve spent more than enough time here already.”

You roll your eyes and stuff it into your bag, setting off for camp, vampire in tow.

–

During dinner, you decide not to tell the others about what you found, knowing Astarion’s likely already forgotten the event. You set down your empty plate, thanking Gale for tonight’s meal. He smiles at you and bids you goodnight as you excuse yourself to your tent. 

You pick up your rucksack, thinking fondly of the dessert that awaits you inside. Having lived at the beck and call of your companions for weeks on end, you can’t help but smile at the idea of selfishly indulging in a small treat like this.

You tear open the rest of the wrapping and snap off one of the squares, immediately popping one into your mouth. It melts - buttery in texture, with a smokey, slightly bitter flavor. You can’t remember the last time you’ve eaten something so rich. Maybe weeks of the same rations have made you easier to impress, but this felt especially notable.

As you break off a second piece, a strange tingling sensation begins to spread across your lips - a pleasant buzzing that starts at your neck and spreads down through your chest. 

Strange, but not entirely unwelcome. You’ve heard of such inebriating chocolates, ones laced with alcohol or species of flowers that numb one’s senses for a short while. All harmless, of course, and you don’t have watch tonight. You may as well enjoy yourself. If worst comes to worst, Shadowheart is just outside with an assortment of spells and potions. Always better to ask for forgiveness.

It only takes you minutes to finish half the bar. You set the rest next to your bedroll for later and turn to blow out your candles, enjoying the lingering physical effects of the chocolate. Your skin feels flushed and delightfully warm as you settle down for the night.

When sleep finally takes you, it's dreamless, at first. Your consciousness sways, floating in an empty abyss, until colors begin to bleed onto the blank canvas of your mind.

A trickle of red morphs into the shape of familiar eyes, piercing you with their intensity..

Droplets of white spatter over a dark background, diffusing, blending into whisps. They curl and twist before settling into soft, coiffed fibers. 

Hair , you recognize immediately, his hair . His eyes.

Astarion. 

His image fully takes form, as if it had been waiting for you to make the connection before entirely revealing itself. 

He reaches out and seizes you, grabbing painfully at your hips as you crash into his body, hands exploring you - tight, possessive, squeezing at every inch of exposed skin before settling on the curve of your ass. He digs into your flesh with the blunt edge of his nails.

His lips press hot, wet kisses to your throat, mouthing just below the ear, before dragging his tongue along your nape and sucking, hard . You whine at the pressure, eliciting a grin from the elf, so characteristically pleased with the pathetic little noise he’s managed to pull from you.

“You thought sleeping would allow you to escape this - to escape me , unscathed?” He growls against your skin, his voice almost unrecognizable - as if it’s layered beneath a lighter, somehow more arrogant, feminine one.

“No, no, no. Wake up, darling. You’re in for a very long night.”

–

You startle awake, gasping - loud, labored breaths struggling to make use of the unbearably thin air. The edges of your tent bleed in and out of focus, spinning at a nauseating pace as you attempt to recollect yourself.

You wipe at the sweat collecting on your brow, the muscles of your arm heavy and aching, and find that your skin is absolutely drenched. 

Hot. Why is everything so hot? 

It's as if you're being cooked alive beneath your blankets, strangled beneath the furs. You throw them off; normally soft to the touch, the fibers now only worsen the prickling beneath your skin.

Could this be some sort of illness? A fever? 

No, this doesn’t make sense. Everything feels off. 

Fleeting thoughts of Astarion cross your mind - quick flashes of a sinful smile that was not his own.

It didn’t quite match the one you’d silently come to admire, and now that you think of it, the hunger in his gaze was much too intense for the reserved elf. 

His hands, his mouth, the way he touched you -

Your abdomen cramps, bringing your thoughts to a screeching halt.

A stabbing, visceral pain; a knife plunging into your organs. It overwhelms you, forces your body to curl into itself. You hold your pelvis, grunting, and grasp at your sheets. Tears sting the corner of your eyes.

This is - well, you have no idea what this is. 

You can’t think past the pounding in your head, the throbbing in your midsection. You're compulsively twisting, writhing, begging the gods for some sort of reprieve, but it's then when you make the most mortifying discovery of the night.

You’re soaked .

N ot just your smallclothes, which may have been understandable given your strange dreams, but through your damned pants. Not even the sheets were spared. 

“What  in the hells…?” 

You run your fingers over yourself, only intending to confirm the horrifying reality of your situation - that this is not, in fact, some sick, perverted nightmare, but the lightest touch sets off every nerve. 

You wail at the sensation: one massive wave of bliss giving way to several small jolts of pain. 

Pleasure to the point of agony.

The shock of the sudden orgasm courses from your sex through every limb, clenching and releasing pitiful, warm slick. It leaks freely out of you into your already thoroughly ruined underwear. 

Your heart pounds. You stay like that for what feels like a lifetime, toes curled, limbs twitching, waiting for your body to settle. 

After a minute or so, your breathing evens, and the thick haze surrounding your thoughts begins to lift just slightly, along with the suffocating heat. 

But something within you knows this isn’t the end - knows this isn’t enough . A desperation lurks beneath the surface that you can’t quite name. It screams at you. You need more.

‘Aw…’ A familiar, feminine voice prods at your mind. You quickly recognize her, the woman from your dreams who wore Astarion’s image.  

‘All alone, are we? Empty and needing to be filled? Doesn’t that hurt?’

It does. It aches unlike anything you’ve ever known. The lingering buzz of your orgasm just barely quells the worsening cramps, and they’re beginning to rear their ugly head again not minutes later.

You choke out a sob. “Wh- why are you doing this? What do you want?”

Sharp, wicked laughter fills your head, echoing off the walls of your skull. ‘I’m not doing anything, dear. Just enjoying the show.’ She hisses, ‘I told you, it’s going to be a very long night.’

You must be hallucinating. This fever - whatever this is, is simply cauterizing your senses, or possibly interacting with the tadpole? But the tadpole doesn’t speak, not like this. Never so clearly. Not with words.

Think, please. There has to be a reason this -

“Is everything alright?” Shadowheart raps on the canvas of your tent. “I heard a yelp. Are you hurt?”

Shit.

‘Ooh, this one might do!’  You feel an unwelcome… eagerness flood you.

No. No. Absolutely not.

You try not to panic. 

Under no circumstances should she or anyone else come in here.

The best strategy may be to ignore her - pretend you’re still sleeping. It seems like a good plan, but before you have a chance to follow through with it, another sharp contraction hits. This one is somehow even worse than the ones before. 

You pull your sheets up to your mouth to stifle your whine, but the half elf’s ears are sharper than most. “I’m coming in.”

She opens the flap to your tent and gasps when she sees you there - skin flushed pink, doubled over and covered in sweat. 

“Gods, what’s wrong? What’s happened?” Her hand reaches out towards you. 

Without thinking, you swat it away with your own. Your skin tingles at the contact, and the essence of a smile crosses over the threshold into your mind. The intruder giggles with satisfaction.

“Don’t,” you plead, “Don’t touch me.”

She scans over you, taking in your humiliating state. Her face twists with concern. “I need to know if you’re feverish. Please. You look awful.” 

‘Well, I think you look delectable.’

You groan.

At this point, you know it’s no use fighting this thing on your own. You go back and forth on whether you want to tell her the whole truth, about the voice in your head and its influence on your body, but the idea mortifies you into silence. 

Regardless, a cleric is likely your best chance of fixing this literal mess, so you nod, close your eyes, and brace yourself.

Shadowheart’s palm meets your forehead. It’s somehow worse than you anticipated. Even the simple, chaste touch sends you reeling, as if her soft hands are caressing your entire body. Flashes of heat wash over you, burning your skin, threatening to pull you back under another wave of ecstasy. 

It’s too much. You try your hardest to suppress a moan, but the muffled sound manages to escape from between your tightened lips, pitiful and broken.

The disembodied voice squeals with delight.

She quickly retracts her hand, clearing her throat. “Apologies. I can confirm your temperature is… elevated, but the rest…” She shakes her head. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

You want to scream, cry - anything to release your frustration, but you keep your mouth shut, not wanting to risk making any more unsavory noises.

“I believe I can give you some relief by treating the fever, but I’ll have to consult the others on the rest. This doesn’t look like any ordinary sickness.”

Consult the others? No. Gods, no. Nobody can know about this. Is she mad?

You intend to protest, beg her not to share this with anyone, tell her whatever death awaits you on the other side of this would be preferable, but she’s speaking an incantation before you have the chance.

A bright, green aura envelopes you, cooling your skin and ever so slightly easing the cramps. With the pain dulled, it's as though you can finally think again. 

You want to laugh. This situation is so utterly ridiculous that you’d find it hilarious, were it anyone else, but with the modicum of relief comes exhaustion - eyelids heavy, vision blurring with weariness.

“Get some rest. We’ll figure this out.” 

Her reassuring words are the last thing you hear before you’re overcome by darkness.

[obsessedwhyyes]

6 Astarions, 6 women, a bat, and a dragon walk into a bar...

Alternatively, what happens when a portal opens up, allowing the Astarion fanfiction multiverses to collide 😁

The absolutely amazing artist, @deannamb, was kind enough to indulge our little AU writers group's fantasy of getting all our versions of Astarion and our OCs together!

Character and fic list under the cut!

From left to right, we have:

Bartender Astarion and Tav'ara from High-Heeled Heroes and Reluctantly Righteous Rogues by @karinamay.

Magistrate Astarion #1 (in the blinged up blue) and Zoraya (in black and white) from Magistrate's Advocate, by @cinnamontails-ff.

Magistrate Astarion #2 (in the formal garb) and Chariot (in yellow) from The Devil's Ledger, by @wobblyweasels.

Ringmaster Astarion (with the cane) and Elysia (with the red and white dress) from A Tale of Fools and Tricksters, by @obsessedwhyyes.

Rockstarion and Estellé (both sitting down) from The Rockstar and the Groupie, by @davenswitcher.

Tailor Astarion and Selene on the right from Portrait of the Pale Elf, by @larvasmoon.

Crystal the Dragon from Small Crystal, by Gothic_Bloodstain on AO3.

And the setting is The Sweet Release tavern from Fool's Copper, by @vyjuarts.

[tootoomanycats]

Hi.

I think it’s a travesty that Gil-Galad has barely a crumb of fanfics or even head canons.

So I’m working on something to add to that sexy, sassy, big boy’s fandom.

I definitely have a type, and it’s men who have their shit together, have goals and a very good sense of self control but are pent up…so I can watch them snap.

This is rough draft, unedited and just thrown down to keep my idea going but dang nabbit, the thirsty folks deserve a drink!

I present the first teaser for *drum roll*

The Plan

UPDATE: 1/27/2025 First chapter has been posted HERE!

Desperation pushed you to find the guest quarters and put distance between the High King and yourself. After what you just did, you can’t look him in the eye, gods you don’t want look yourself in the eye.

Dammit, was that the same door with a potted plant you passed a few minutes ago? You were going in circles, fast pacing, and red faced from embarrassment. He knew, he had to know you were lost and still Gil-Galad followed while offering no help in your escape from him.

“How long shall I expect you to hide away this time? I was under the impression that it was too precious to waste-being as short as it is.” Gil-Galad knew that his words were sharp, their sarcasm laced like a blade with poison. He could feel his pride pulsing like an open wound after what you just did. Emotions raw from weeks of you seesawing both towards and away from him.

“How dare you!” Came your rage in a whispered hiss, spinning on your heels to glare at the tall elf who followed behind so closely.

How dare he?

Gil-Galad could feel his neck heat as the temperance of his frustration grew. He was not the one disillusioned from reality. “I believe the offense is mine to have. For I was not the one to run and cower after you kis-“

“Shush! Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

Not once in the entirety of his life time, centuries long that it was, has anyone ever dared to ‘shush’ him. His posture straightened, the tips of his ears faintly hued red as frustration turned to insult.

“First you run is cowardice from your own actions, now you not only refuse to acknowledge them but have the gall to shush me?” He glared from where he stood, watching as each word cut through your panic and your eyes shamefully turned to the ground.

Gil-Galad’s pride raged like that of a wounded beast trapped behind the bars of well trained control. Had he not been kind in taking in you and your small group? Housed and feed you, treated the wounded and sick to health, all to see your worries lessen?

He had no expectation of receiving anything in return, other than a thank you for the kindness- which you and your small group had given ample times over. Nor was no expectation to have the fluttering feeling of attraction reciprocated, his only hope was to continue the friendship he enjoyed in your company.

But he did not deserve the inconsistencies of your actions and words. Spinning his minds thoughts and hopes in circles that dizzied and confused. So many times you flirted back, even flirting boldly at him, flustering him. How much he had held self control in his desires to reach out to you, feel the grasp of your hand in his. Even for you lean on him when sitting together.

Just moments ago when you kissed him so tenderly, he had been frozen, his mind trying to confirm what he had hoped for had finally come true. But before he could reciprocate the action, you fled. No more. He could take this no more.

Update post for this story here -----> Update 10/17/24

Update #2 for this story here ----➡️ Update 12/26/24

[mendellyill]

Just saw a post about zevrans torturers in the fade being dalish elves that made me think about this.

I was listening to zevrans dialogue with the warden and other companions and zevran truly doesn't identify with or as basically any of the groups he could conceivably be a part of. He's left the crows so he's no longer a crow, he was rejected by the dalish and is not really a "true elf", he can't go back to being a kid in the brothel (last place he felt unconditional love). He's never had a lover which wasn't a contract or he didn't kill. He's just very dissociated from himself and everyone around him.

The only thing he consistently identifies as is being worth 7 gold coins. He says it to the warden more than once. He says it to some of the companions. My guys got 1 thing defining his self worth and it's that the crows bought him for 7 gold coins. And what does the warden give him to increase affinity? Gold bars. The warden is saying "You are worth so much more than what the crows paid for" in a quite literal sense. I'm emotional about the pixel man again.

[brain-rot-central]

Hey Jealousy

Rating: M/borderline E? (for now) Pairing: Spawn!A/Fem!Tav Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: NON-CANON, 18+, degrading speech, somewhat dubcon for certain parts but not totally?, adult themes, mentions of past sexual relationship, alcohol mention, alcohol use, blood mention, possessiveness, jealously, stalking, dry humping, ANGST, some fluff, bitter petty nonsense overall tbh

Summary: Astarion and Tav split at the end of the game due to a huge miscommunication. She tries desperately to move on, Astarion not so much. He finally gets ahold of her, aaaaand some messy feelings come out.

A/N - 1/28/24: Reuploading this! Not much has changed; mostly pulled it for grammatical editing purposes. Hopefully the story flows a bit better now!

The tavern is bustling with the usual weekend crowd. Upbeat music fills the air of the small establishment as this evening’s band continues their set. Drinks cascade like waterfalls into the hands and mouths of the tavern's parched patrons, each desperate for a distraction to drive out the unsettling reality of their lives, albeit for a few hours.

Astarion is perched in a corner of the tavern, circling the tip of his finger around the edge of his wine goblet. The unpleasant flavor of piss and vinegar lingers on his tongue from the spirit, mouth salivating. He sucks his teeth instinctively, trying to rid himself of the taste. 

Reaching into the pocket of his favored violet and gold doublet, he retrieves a small vial of crimson liquid. He pops off the stopper and deposits the contents into his cup, bringing the cylindrical glass to his mouth to lap up the small droplet that rolls down its side.

He hums in satisfaction as the sweet flavor spreads across his tongue, floral and lively, before returning the stopper back atop the vial. Using a single finger, he swirls the additive into his wine, bringing the goblet back to his lips for another sip. 

Ah, much better.

Surveying the bar, Astarion catches the attention of a young elven woman. She's aesthetically pleasing on the eyes - blonde hair with tan skin. Were he here for another reason, he may have tried his luck with her.

Astarion nods politely. The woman then rises from her seat, walking toward him. “Shit,” he mutters to himself, adjusting his positioning. He hurriedly repockets the blood vial within his doublet and hangs his head low just as she takes the seat at his booth, opposite him.

“Well, you’re certainly different from the usual fare,” she says, confidently. “Not often we get you teu-tel-quessir folk in here.” 

Astarion absently swirls his wine. She believes I'm a moon elf?

Assuming that she's a regular of this tavern, this woman may be somewhat oblivious. Were she not, she’d have realized this is his third visit this month alone.

Astarion decides to play into her little game - he’s compelled to see how long he can keep the charade going. “I’m but a weary traveler, just passing through,” he lies. It rolls off his tongue like the caress of an old friend. Creating a fictitious life for himself is something he’s had quite a bit of practice doing.

“Is that so? I, too, happen to be passing through here.” The woman places her elbows on the table and leans forward, giving Astarion better access to the cleavage threatening to spill over the top of her bodice. His eyes fall briefly to the woman’s chest, but he doesn’t look at her face. Not yet. “Got the room rented out upstairs for a couple more days,” she adds, tone hushed.

Sliding her hand toward his, she gently rubs her fingers over the ones he has encased around the neck of the wine goblet. Astarion shudders, not expecting such an intimate touch, and finally lifts his gaze to meet her own. “Care to make a few mistakes with me?” she asks.

Astarion snickers. He can tell part of her story is a facade, though he doesn’t care enough to discern which. 

“My apologies, love, but I’ve made enough mistakes to last a lifetime,” he replies. Pulling his hand from her, he grabs his wine by the cup, bringing it again to his lips. “I’ll have to decline.”

The elven woman softly hums in disappointment, standing up from her seat at the booth. “Such a shame,” she says, “you really are something beautiful.” She raises a hand to her lips, kissing the pads of her fingertips before extending them out toward him. Gently blowing on her fingers, she says, “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

Astarion raises his cup to her and she walks off, returning to her group of friends on the far side of the tavern. He groans a sigh of relief.

Wasting little time resuming his attention on the crowd surrounding him, another is quick to catch his eye. He's seen her before - long auburn hair flowing down her back with streaks of blonde scattered throughout. She wasn't dressed in her evening best, but even so, the blouse and slacks she wore left little to his imagination.

She's sitting at the bar in the middle of the tavern, a young tiefling gentleman holding her attention at present. He’s not her usual type, Astarion notes to himself, though he remains transfixed on their interaction.This is the second man he's seen this evening trying their hand at impressing the young human woman. 

A smile forms on her lips as she converses with her current suitor. Astarion once again swirls his goblet of wine before bringing it back to his mouth for another taste.

He knows this woman, rather intimately, at that. He’s held her hair within his hands, traced the outline of her jaw with his fingertips. The smell of her skin is ever present in his mind. The saltiness of her sweat on his tongue as he lavishes her throat, the intoxicating roll of her hips against his as he bites down into the tender flesh of her neck… the rush of blood cascading down his throat.

He swallows thickly around the memory.

They've been together a handful of times throughout their travels to save the Realm from the threat of the Absolute, but that was neither here nor there, at this point.

The tiefling begins skirting his fingers along her forearm, and she leans into his touch. Astarion seethes from his place in the booth, a rush of warmth flooding his core and quickly spreading outward to each of his limbs. It’s been months since they decided on this new agreement, though his reaction is just as strong whenever another encroaches on her.

Astarion looks on as the red-head gently pats her companion’s arm before standing from her seat. His eyes follow her toward the back of the tavern. After downing the rest of his drink in one quick swing, he’s following her, careful to keep just enough distance not to rouse suspicion.

The music from the band thumps loudly in his chest as he draws closer to the crowd of people gathered before the stage. Lucky for him, they’re so entranced by the show that they hardly notice his mindless weaving, trying not to lose sight of his target. Astarion stops for a moment to refocus, looking around. It doesn’t take him long at all to zero in a glimpse of those fiery locks disappearing down a hallway off to the side.

His feet bring him to the start of the long corridor and he peers cautiously around the corner. The woman is not to be found, likely in the powder room. Astarion sighs, some of the built up tension beginning to wane from his shoulders, and comes to stand with his back against the window across from the facilities.

The residual tension within him is beginning to bleed into anxiety and doubt the longer he waits. His mind is rapidly exchanging scenarios, all of which cause his stomach to become unsettled. Gooseflesh spreads over his arms and the fine hairs covering them stand on end. Why is he doing this? They'd agreed to be friends and nothing more. It’s his fault for not being able to honor his end of the deal, he knew, but by the Gods, he simply does not care.

Since the first drops of her blood spread across his tongue, Astarion knew something within him changed. He wasn't sure if it was due to her being his proverbial “first,” but he felt… compelled by her from that moment forward. Bonded almost, in a strange way. 

In a sea of crimson, her blood would always sing loudest to him. It horrified him in the beginning, recalling memories of Cazador's puppeteering ways. The fear ebbed into compassion, after a time. As their physical relationship grew more intimate, compassion melted into an overwhelming desire to guard her. A want to protect what was his, finally his, after so many godsdamned years of pure, absolute shit.

Their… whatever it was they shared, was his. And he would gladly throw his life on the line any chance he could to insure its sustainability.

He catches a glint of red in his peripheral vision again. The human, oblivious to his presence, begins her trek back to her seat at the bar. The thought barely has time to process in Astarion’s head before his body reacts, reaching out to grab the side of her arm, pulling her back toward the wall with him.

“What the-!” the woman exclaims in shock. Her other hand comes up to begin swatting at the offending appendage. She stops midway as her eyes meet his face, recognition washing over her. “Oh, Astarion,” she says, voice flat, “what… what are you doing here?”

A practiced smile graces his lips as he releases the grip on her arm. “Am I not free to seek my own pleasure, darling?” An uneasiness begins to take root again, mind scolding him once the words leave his lips. What in the hells kind of question is that? 

Astarion clears his throat. “I was simply out for a drink before returning home when I saw what appeared to be a fire in the middle of the bar.” Unsure of what response he's hoping for, he's praying she doesn't catch onto his desperate attempt at recovery.

A quick blush spreads across her cheeks and she bows her head, giving a genuine smile. Astarion huffs out a breath in relief. 

During their time together, Astarion would often tease that her hair reminded him of a raging fire. Eventually, he adorned her with the pet name of “spitfire;” she thoroughly enjoyed solving the majority of her problems through brute force. She favored it, evidenced by a deep blush that would spread across her features.

Not unlike the one rising to her face at this very moment.

Were he honest with her, he’d tell her that this isn’t the first time he’s followed her since they parted - watched helplessly from afar as she rotated through potential nightly suitors. He chooses not to, however. Chooses to not tell her that he’s noticed every man she’s taken home has platinum hair. How they’re always of elven lineage.

She seems to buy his excuse as she visibly relaxes before him. “Oh, no, of course, Astarion,” she sighs. “It's uh, it's been a few weeks, hasn't it?” Her eyes are soft as she shifts her weight onto one hip. “How have you been?”

She's nervous, he can tell. She's doing that thing with her lip, chewing the inside of it. The rush of blood in her veins crashes and bellows in his ears as her blush settles deeper across the top of her chest.

“As well as one would imagine,” Astarion replies, “after having their heart broken.” There’s an air of nonchalance decorating his tone. A well-worn smirk tugs at his lips. He's fuming inside at the thought of another touching her, but he doesn't want to play his cards outright yet. 

No, he wants to see her squirm, wants to inflict just a touch of the torment he's experienced since their parting.

What a spiteful creature.

Her expression falls flat, jaw tensing. “I'm not sure what you mean by that,” she retorts in a meek tone. She pulls her shoulders back. "I-I thought we agreed to be friends, no?”

Astarion glances over his shoulder to see the young tiefling gentleman from before passing behind them. Their eyes meet, Astarion furrowing his brow. His jaw tightens, lips curling upward, and the peaks of his fangs are visible. He watches for the tiefling’s reaction, elated to find that the boy is clearly shaken by his display. The Tiefling turns to speak but decides against it, turning his back to the scene before him. 

Astarion sneers.

Yet another unworthy fool. 

Though… a fool who has touched her. Something he and only he should be privy to.

An inferno erupts within him.

Astarion grabs the young woman by the arm again and leads her toward the supply closet at the end of the hall, making quick work of the lock. Astarion scans their surroundings before opening the door and shoving her in, a small squeak pushed past her lips from the impact of his hand on her back. Quickly closing the door behind him, he yells, “Ignis!” a fireball lighting the lone torch in the room.

“Astarion, what-” she shouts in protest. Before the opportunity arises he’s back on her, pinning her in place to the wall with his hips. His hands fly up to cup either side of her jaw.

"Do you truly believe I meant that?" he growls low in his throat, their eyes meeting in a whirlwind. “That I only wanted to be friends?” he adds, mockingly. 

He's desperately searching her face for something, anything to show him he's not alone in this. Her tense expression stokes the fire raging within him.

Suddenly, he's spiraling.

The small voice in his head, his conscience, is yelling at him to stop - to pull back. She’s made it quite clear how she feels, you love-sick idiot. 

Logic fails him - he cannot form a single cohesive thought. Not when she's looking at him like that.

A doe caught unawares in the middle of a forest. Eyes blown wide, mouth slightly agape. Not unlike those he's hunted multiple times in the past. His chest heaves as he drinks in her expression, a wave of heat rising up within him. 

The compulsion is overwhelming, rapidly losing the battle with the rational part of his brain. Bitterness bites at the back of his throat like acid. 

He absolutely must continue.

“Is that why your home has become a revolving door?” Astarion says, watching her face shift. 

“Excuse me?” the human asks, offense evident in her tone. A rhetorical question, though he pushes forward.

“Of men who look just enough like me?” he continues, driving the thorn deeper into the woman's side.  

Suddenly, she’s stone, cold and unwelcoming. Her face twists into something sour, nose scrunching up in disgust.

“Astarion Anunín… Have you been stalking me?” she nearly yells.

Oh, he has her right where he wants her.

"The color of their hair does always match my own…” Astarion ponders aloud, head tilting to one side. “Have any of them fucked you as thoroughly as I have, darling?" he chides.

Pulling in a quick, ragged breath, the young woman shudders beneath him, her head falling forward. Her hips involuntarily twitch against the knee he’s suddenly wedged between her thighs and she whimpers, biting her lip to stifle the sound. 

“Astarion…” she groans, eyes falling closed. 

She’s upset, he knows. Yet, he’s privy to how she can barely resist the call of his body against her. Why not use that knowledge to his advantage?

A heavy flush settles across her face and she reopens her eyes, looking up at him through hooded lids. Astarion sees it then - the unabashed desire emanating from her. 

How ironic, he thinks to himself, that her eyes have a hunter green hue. At this moment she feels like prey, wrapped up in a delicate satin bow, all for him.

The remnants of his eternally damned soul sing in delight at her unraveling before him. Saliva pools thick on his tongue as he lavishes the thought of pushing forward, closing in on her.

Astarion leans toward her, cocking his head again to one side. “Hells, Tav… Did it really never occur to you that we made love the last time we were together?" he asks quietly, mouth hovering just above her lips.

Tav shivers beneath him, body writhing against the wall she's leaning against. Her hands come up to press against his chest, gripping fistfuls of his shirt as she grinds herself again on the knee between her legs. The flush on her face is so deep, practically matching the color of her hair.

“Y-you’re hardly playing fair,” she huffs out. She moans again, genuine and clear, making little attempt to subdue the noise. Astarion groans in response before closing the distance, finally capturing her lips in a kiss. 

He’s timid at first, wanting to gauge her reaction. Tav doesn't resist nor push him away, giving him the encouragement to continue. Her jaw grows pliant under him and invites him deeper into her mouth, tongues entangling for a quick moment. The kiss is brief - just enough until she settles beneath him. Both of their chests heave as they part.

Astarion’s eyes rest upon her lips before he draws his head back. His hands fall from her face and he lays his palms flat against the wall on either side of her head. 

"My biggest regret is that I lacked the courage to tell you with words..." he admits, voice trailing off. The ghost of a smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he adds, "so, instead, I used the one tool I'm most versed with.”

Tav's pupils blow wide at the implication of his words.

Of course, Astarion used his body - used himself as an instrument. Again. To him, this is familiar territory. This is safe. 

This is all I’m good for.

"It appears I must have gotten my translation wrong," he quips.

Tav shakes her head in disagreement. “It wasn’t wrong…” 

She adjusts herself against the wall as Astarion’s leg falls back into a normal position, no longer wedged between her. 

“I was so sure… and then the morning after, I- '' She cuts herself off and swallows. “I didn’t know what to think, Astarion.”

Astarion pushes himself off the wall, taking a few steps back from Tav to give her space. 

“I don’t understand,” he begins, folding his arms over his chest. “I thought I made my position rather clear that morning. About…” He shrugs his shoulders. “Us. This.”

Huffing out a quick laugh, Tav shakes her head again, her discomfort in their current conversation mounting. “You started talking about being free, and-” 

She stops herself again, choking back a sigh. “It just seemed so selfish to ask you to be with me. You were just getting yourself back, after so long.”

Tears begin to gather at the corners of Tav’s eyes. Gently with the pads of his thumbs, Astarion wipes them clean.

“Oh, my silly little love,” he says, lowering his face to place a chaste kiss upon her forehead. “How I wish you would have spoken to me first.”

Tav’s hands come up to cover his, removing them from her face. “I think… I think I need to go,” she tells him, urgently. 

Nodding in silent agreement, Astarion lets her dip out from under him, seeing her inch closer toward the door. 

Before she grips the door’s handle, she turns to look at him. “...Can we talk more about this?” She quickly gestures to their surroundings before adding, “In a better situation, maybe?”

Astarion can only sigh, chest rising and falling heavily. “Of course, my dear. Do you have a particular place in mind?”

Her eyes fall to the floor. Tav knits her fingers together nervously, rubbing her thumbs over the other. “Well… where are you staying?”

A quick laugh escapes his throat and he averts his gaze. His voice is soft and tender as he focuses on a broom leaning against the corner of the wall behind her, “...I went home.”

Tav furrows her brow before asking, “What do you mean by home?”

“Home, to Cazador’s,” he states, devoid of emotion. Astarion’s eyes fall back onto her, watching as she adjusts her posture.

“It’s not as though I know much else,” he continues. “I lack the gold or the ability to work. I have only what I’m able to pilfer off the unassuming, and I’ve grown tired of playing such a role.” 

Astarion sighs heavily again before adding, “There are a number of… resources available to me, now that Cazador is gone. It would be foolish of me to squander them.”

Tav only nods in his direction, her expression falling flat. “Alright,” she says, “I’ll meet you… there, I guess.” She unlaces her hands and turns around, heading back toward the door.

“Tavaria,” Astarion calls to her as she wraps a hand around the door handle again, freezing in place at the use of her full name. “If you do decide to visit me, you’re going to need the passcode for the tower door.” 

Looking over her shoulder, Tav waits for him to continue. Moments pass between them, the air growing thick and stale within the small closet. When she doesn’t speak, he pushes forward. 

“It’s spitfire,” Astarion tells her.

He hears more than sees the small inhalation of breath she takes as his words register. Turning her head forward again, Astarion watches her finally twist the knob to the door, pushing it open. Tav steps out of the closet, looking at him briefly before disappearing down the corridor of the tavern.

Astarion slumps against the cool stone of the supply closet wall, light now pouring through the open doorway. His head is throbbing, an uneasy ache beginning to take root deep within his chest.

What a day.

[tamurilofrivendell]

Sleeping Beauty | Chapter 19

Previous Chapters [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18] Read on AO3 [x]

Pairing: Thranduil/Fem. Reader Summary: A Sleeping Beauty inspired tale with Thranduil the Elvenking, and a female elf living in Mirkwood under the care of Radagast, who is actually the ‘lost’ daughter of the late High King Gil-Galad. Taglist: @jinlizz-dragondrama @firelightinferno @bubbleyukismile @coopsgirl @achromaticerebus @sleepyamygdala @smalltownbigheart @qmabailor @genderfluid-anime-goth @0chemicalwaste0 @silvercobra @thesunschild777 @atlanticowe @whore-of-many-hot-men @whiteladyofithilien @vintagelizziesblog @synx-h

The corridors up on this level were so much brighter, almost as if the sun itself was shining in through a window somewhere above your head, but you could not see any way out no matter how far or fast you walked. No matter which direction you went in. There was not a window in sight so where was all this light coming from?

The corridor stretched ahead, winding with the shape of the fortress, multiple closed doors lining the hall. You hadn't been sure if you should waste time looking in the rooms but maybe there would be something useful in one of them.

A weapon or a window, a way out, something.

None had had any windows so far, which struck you as very odd, especially with how bright it seemed. You didn't need to squint through the dark at all like you had in the rest of the building. There was one final door right at the end of the hallway, though a feeling of anxiety grew in the pit of your stomach as you stood before it.

Something was wrong... wasn't it? It was so wrong.

Don't go in, some part of your mind tried to tell you, but it was overshadowed by the desire to find an escape. If you didn't look you could miss your only way out.

Ignoring your inner voice and pushing the door, you stepped inside, closing it behind you in case she had already started following - you didn't want to make it too obvious where exactly you were.

Windows!

You walked further into what turned out to be a very pretty room. Vines stretched across the walls and the ceiling. A large bed sat in the centre, pushed up against the wall by a huge window. Someone's bedroom. The Enchantress's? You didn't know, nor did you care. There were no bars on the window, either, and you couldn't quite believe your luck!

Rushing towards them, you had to sort of push some of the vines out of your way, moving your hands to the window, immediately trying to pull or push it open.

The damn thing wouldn't budge but you would not be deterred. It had to open! It was... quite high up but you would rather jump to your death, quite frankly, than be caught by the Enchantress again. Than be put into some eternal slumber.

Tugging with all your might at the bottom, you thought you felt something budge but it could easily have been your imagination with how desperate you were. Or your poor nails about to give way.

After a moment, you took a short pause to look out of the window, down at the land beyond. A horse was coming up the hill and, as you peered closer, you could see the long white hair of its rider.

Thranduil.

Thranduil had ridden his poor horse into the ground but to the beast's credit it did not falter, carrying him through the trees towards the old fortress at Amon Lanc.

Once, this had been the capital of the Woodland Realm. Before his father was forced to abandon these lands and flee further north, which was close to happening again of course. He himself was now planning to move his people across the river, further away from the growing darkness.

Though, right now this was the furthest thing from his mind.

The fortress was tall. Dark. And he knew Luithien was in there... but did she have you with her? Did you know what was happening? The danger you were in? How, if you were here, had she managed to get you away from his halls in the first place?

He eased his horse off to the side, wanting to make a plan and stay relatively hidden from the enemies within as he did so.

Soon enough he noticed the window and then, peering down trying to get his attention as discreetly as possible, you!

Thranduil's heart lifted a little and he brightened, urging his horse further on. "Lothíriel!" He called softly, and the sight of your smile made him feel light even from all the way down here. Brought up a flurry of memories - a baby in a cradle, dancing in the clearing. I am meant to love you.

"Stay there!" He called again, a little louder this time. "I will come to you!"

Thranduil!

He was here! He had found you! He was going to save you!

Not bothering to think about the how right now, you relaxed just a little and turned from the window as Thranduil disappeared from view, heading towards what you assumed was the entrance to the fortress. He'd get past the Enchantress, wouldn't he? He was strong, surely much stronger than you... he'd get in here, find you, and everything would be just fine.

The seconds felt like hours even as you stood there, your back to the window now, peering around this room. Something still felt a little off. There was something... what was it?

It was a feeling that overtook you, similar to the feeling that you'd felt back in Thranduil's palace... when you'd been drawn to that door, the one that had inexplicably led you to the clearing where the Enchantress had been waiting for you.

Some magic, right? It could not be a portal. It had been tampered with. But how?

And what was it... here? What was the feeling? That distant... sound? Some sort of humming?

Turning with a frown, you walked across the room, feeling almost pulled in the direction of another door in the corner. In the back of your mind, you were telling yourself to stop, telling yourself not to listen, to stay away... but it was as if it was destiny... as if you could not change course no matter what.

A tug at the handle revealed a grand staircase. Finally, one leading down instead of up... a great light shone up the stairs from below and, without much thought at all, you started to descend, following the light, following the feeling, that pull...

The door closed behind you with a click.

Thranduil had not gotten as far as he'd hoped before the Enchantress swept into his presence, one of her signature cocky smirks in place as she paced the marble floor in front of him.

"Well, well, well." She trilled. "What do we have here?"

Thranduil narrowed his gaze, eyeing her as his fingers flexed against the hilt of his sword.

She continued, undeterred by the violence in his gaze. "Here I laid a trap for a princess and I catch a king! Two royals for the price of one." Luithien's eyes seemed to flash as she came to a stop in front of the Elvenking, lifting her chin, her mouth twisting in a slight sneer. "Your mother would be so proud."

She was baiting him.

Thranduil would not rise to it.

"Let her go, Luithien." He said, his voice firm, unwavering. "It is over, it is done. Just release her."

The Enchantress's smirk seemed only to widen as she regarded the Elvenking. "Oh, but Thranduil. Do you not feel it?"

Thranduil's eyes narrowed to slits.

"It is too late." She continued, her gaze flickering across his face, trying to ignore the fury she felt at the memories his presence brought up every single time. She ought to kill him too, perhaps, for the fun of it.

"Your precious princess had already entered the dungeon..."

[vapeandgo]

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[idrellegames]

Codex Entry: Elves

Fun Facts

elves are the third of the original three options for ancestry

their connection to their Eleneid heritage is not the same as melusine and aeda; many modern elves have human or dwarven ancestry somewhere in their family

elves often find themselves in positions of power, whether it be founding a dynasty and ruling a nation, or leading an organization like the Guild of Mages

Codex Text

Elves are the most common of the sentient beings of Eleneid descent[1]. Archaeological evidence supports that ancient elves may have first separated from the melusine and the aeda of the Maribian Basin.

Elven physiology is diverse. Like all Eleneids, their ears are distinctively pointed. Ears vary in size, length and shape, with some ears smaller and closer to the head and others long and extended.

Unlike other Eleneids, elven skin shades and hair colours range from dark to very pale neutral shades. This is reminiscent of dwarven and human characteristics, which may imply that modern elves may share more common ancestry with dwarves and humans than their melusine and aeda counterparts. Facial and body hair appears on individuals of any gender.

Gold is one of the most common elven eye colours, and others include green, blue, violet, red, and brown. Their eyesight is particularly sharp and most elves and half-elves can see in the dark.

Elves are long-lived, with their average lifespans ranging between 160 and 180 years.

Elves live in all areas of the world, though the largest populations are found in Istaran. Calantha boasts a population that is almost entirely elven, as the Maribian Basin prevents humans and dwarves from crossing its borders and its dense rainforests are unfavourable to many melusine and aeda. Mathara, an independent pirate nation in the Dravaden Isles, is also almost entirely comprised of elves.

Notes on Mixed Ancestry

Elves are sexually compatible with other sentient beings, barring some melusine. Half-elves[2] tend to assume the physical traits of their elven parent, particularly the pointed ears and night vision. Half-elves tend to have a shorter lifespan than their elven parent, but many of them live well past 100.

1 The Eleneids. Ancient sentient beings who are the progenitors of elves, Melusine and Aeda. Remnants of their advanced civilization can be found throughout the world, but are primarily concentrated in western Istaran and south-eastern Eredion. For more information, see page 66.   

2 How a person of mixed ancestry identifies differs greatly from person to person and culture to culture. For the sake of clarity, I use the term “half-elf” here to refer to any person with one elven parent and one non-human parent. 

[littlejuicebox]

LittleJuicebox Masterlist

Click here for my AO3 account. (Converting is a WiP).

If you’d like to be added to a tag list, please DM me and I can send you the google doc link. I have decided to keep tag lists for each individual series so you only get tagged in the ones you want.

My personal favorites are denoted by a +.

GN reader is denoted by a * otherwise assume Fem reader/OC.

Titles colored red are smut or other mature themes, 18+ only.

AstarionxWren Series:

This is a canon-adjacent passion project which focuses on Astarion and Wren, a ranger half-elf with her own backstory. She is based off my first Tav. Do you like angsty slow burns where two broken people find one another and learn to love again? Then this one is for you.

Chapter 1 / Chasing birds to get high (PG) + Chapter 2 / Between comfort and chaos (PG) Chapter 3 / Sunshine and midnight rain (PG13) + Chapter 4 / Protect the flames (M/Gore) Chapter 5 / Blue and silver bonded (PG13) Chapter 6 / Remember how it feels to have a heartbeat (PG13) Chapter 7 / Give peace a chance (M/Smut) + Chapter 8 / Dancing in a burning room (M/Gore) Chapter 9 / Lavender haze (PG-PG13?) Chapter 10 / I want to hold your hand (PG13)

Midnight Chimes Series:

Your parents own a tavern in Baldur’s Gate, and Astarion was somewhat of a regular when you worked at the bar in your younger years. You don’t exactly trust him. Now you’re an apothecary owner based in Waterdeep, and when the two of you crash on the beach, you aren’t exactly thrilled to see him there, too. But things aren’t always what they seem.

1 / The Prologue +

2 / Three years

3 / Luck +

4/ Ringleader

Midwinter Carol Series:

Eirianwen and Astarion were in love before the Ascension ritual changed his behavior toward her. She refused to become a spawn, and they went their separate ways. The story starts when they run into one another fifteen years later; Eirianwen returned to the city to deliver some news to the pale elf. Meanwhile, the Ascendant had a night time visitor that convinced him to change his ways, and he believes his ex-lover might be the key. Will he be able to change after fifteen years of living life as a debauched degenerate?

1 / The Prologue +

2 / The Barrier

3 / The Carriage

4 / The Auction +

5/ The Repeat

6/ The Affliction

7/ The Interrogation

8/ The Scheme

9/ The Snake

AstarionxReader One Shots and Mini-Stories:

Mini-Stories are grouped together in order and denoted by a “Part X” in sequential order after the title. These are in general "timeline" order and follow my (admittedly self-indulgent) headcanon for Spawn Astarion x Tav but can definitely be read as OneShots. All stories are AstarionxReader, some allusions to reader having spellcaster ability but otherwise no real description apart from being female in about 3/4 of the fics.

Act 1-2:

The little things.

Before someone steals your queen

Act 3:

Drunken nights*+

The nail salon

You'll stay still, won't you, little love? +

Post-BG3:

Mermaid whiskey+

Baking Cookies*

Astarion talks in his sleep Part 1*+

My Sun, My Moon Part 2+

Glowing in the Underdark+

Reflections on one year of marriage

Highharvestide Part 1

Highharvestide Part 2

Handmade+

Dadstarion:

The wish spell worked.+

Daddy?

Little bump.

Labor and joy

Skin to skin.

Milk.+

Little lockpick.

Beach babies.+

A growing brood.

Puppy love.

Stuck.

Pre-BG3 / Random / Ascended Astarion OneShots

Midnight chimes / The Original One Shot

Pre-BG3. You’ve known Astarion for years… or at least, you’ve known of him. You think he’s a rake, but one night he changes your mind. The series "Midnight Chimes" started based off this "prologue."

A Midwinter Carol / The Original One Shot

“A Christmas Carol” but Ascended Astarion is Scrooge. He sees you after your break up 15 years ago, and then has an unexpected nighttime visitor showing him past, present, and future. Will he be convinced to change his ways? The series "Midwinter Carol" started based off this "prologue."

Naughty or Nice?

You’re Ascended Astarion’s little toy in the middle of a party. TLDR; he’s tease and a BDSM dom.

Dancing on my own

[lucvly]

— christmas headcannons with chris. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: fluff, cursing, mentions of sex, not proofread as always.

a/n: this is soo self indulgent help !! i love christmas fr.

— he’ll act like he literally doesn’t give a shit about christmas but on december 1 he’s already staying up late thinking about what he’s gonna give you.

— i don’t even wanna hear discourse about this but this man acts like a child around the holidays. he’ll enjoy december like he’s a 10 year old child who still thinks santa’s real.

— my man is quick to hang up those lights. it’ll deadass be mid november and he’s already asking you when you’re gonna decorate because he wants to help you.

— gingerbread house making is a must. he loves it. you do it at least three times in december because it’s by far one of his favorite traditions. of course he ends up building something that doesn’t look nearly close to a house but A for effort.

— you get matching ugly sweaters obviously. it’s your job to get them every year, and they progressively get worse. chris always complains about how itchy they are LMFAOO.

— baking christmas cookies with him is such a chore for real. you can’t even let him open the flour because it either ends up all on the floor, or on your face. don’t even ask him how to preheat the oven because those cookies will end up burnt.

— most times you have to make three or four batches of cookies because the first batch turns out awful, the second one: burnt.

— once your relationship gets really serious, you two make christmas cards and send them to your close family and relatives. it’s corny, sure, but you both love doing it.

— once every year, you go with him and his brothers for a late night drive just to see how people decorated around the neighborhood. chris always ends up falling asleep on your shoulder in the backseat while nick is yelling about how the lights should’ve been hung higher or how the reindeer is out of place.

— you best believe you’re writing letters to santa. it’s unserious but chris loves doing it, especially because he gets to write something along the lines of: “santa, all i want for christmas is my girlfriend under the tree. thx. — C” LMFAOOAOA sorry.

— you’re absolutely making matching ornaments. they have your initials on them it’s adorable. though decorating them is painful as hell because chris always ends up throwing glitter at you.

— takes elf on the shelf so serious like calm down!!! he better not catch anyone laying a finger on that dumbass elf or he’ll go absolutely insane.

— going christmas shopping with him is adorable. he gets so excited over what to get his brothers and his parents AWW, and he also gets a present for trevor obviously.

— you are never gonna know what that man gets you for christmas. he hides it so well it surprises you each year to be honest. you’re out here thinking he didn’t even get you a present and he’s already packing up at least three.

— definitely an expensive gift type of boyfriend, i’m talking tiffany necklaces, chanel bags, dior, ysl. and he doesn’t even care because seeing you happy makes him 10 times happier. (“baby, you didn’t have to– oh my god.” “i know, but i wanted to. you deserve it.”)

— of course you also get him cute and expensive gifts but you could seriously give him a rock and he’d cherish it as if you just gave him a gold bar.

— you two will absolutely watch christmas movies together, especially romcoms. he loves christmas romcoms LMFAOO. he’s the type to complain about the main character idc.

— he hangs up a mistletoe on his door just so he can tease you and give you a kiss every time you walk into his room. (“look, mistletoe, you gotta kiss me.” “chris i swear to god.”)

— christmas dinners are hilarious bye. he’ll deadass be eating 3 or 4 plates with no shame at all. you’re staring at him in disbelief and he just looks at you with his mouth full like “😊”. at least he’s happy LMFAOO.

— he gives you at least three presents. the first one is marked “from: santa, to: y/n” obviously you know it’s him LMFAO he thinks it’s cute and you just leave him be. second one is marked “from: chris, to: his girlfriend.” as if he wasn’t the one marking up those presents BYE. third one is “from: the best boyfriend ever, to: the prettiest girl.” he’s so cute somebody sedate me !!

— one hundred percent asks nick and matt to figure out what you got him for christmas. you’ve figured this out over the years so you don’t even give them hints anymore LMAOO.

— the worst jokes over the holidays seriously. (“hold on. babe, which cooking seasoning is the most festive?” “chris–” “christmas thyme.”) he needs to be stopped lord have mercy.

— secretly loves decorating. he’ll decorate with you all day fr. ornaments, mistletoes, the tree in general is his favorite. he cannot deal with putting up lights though. it pisses him off so badly– (only because he ends up tangled in them).

— i just know he makes hot chocolate with water. nuh uh. you had to teach him the correct way (with milk) because it was seriously getting on your nerves LMAO.

— he gets so lovey dovey over the holidays. he’s also horny 24/7 but that’s completely besides the point HELP. hands around your waist, arm around your shoulder, hand holding, everything.

— matching pjs YUP. he loves matching christmas outfits with you LMAO especially pjs. y’all have like four matching pj sets every year it’s so cute.

[sadko101]

do you guys think the reason varric is so set on trying to stop solas is because he couldnt stop anders?

like when you think about it, if your hawke isnt friends with anders varriic is the only one who considered him a friend.

in there banter anders feels very awakening anders (so just anders no justice). and its through there banter that you see anders slowly turn to the more justice/vengence thoughts.

for example:

act 1

Varric: So a human, an elf, and a dwarf walk into a bar...

Anders: The human says, "You're lucky you're so short. That hurt like mad!"

Varric: You could have just stopped me, Blondie.

Anders: Why waste a perfectly good set-up?

act 2:

Anders: Boiling in oil.

Varric: Too prosaic. Trapped in a cave with hungry bears, right at the spring thaw.

Anders: That lets him off too easy. Dipped in molten gold and left as a statue in the Viscount's Keep.

Varric: Ooh. That's poetic!

Hawke: What are you two talking about?

Varric: What to do to Bartrand when I find him.

Anders: Any suggestions?

and the Parallels of act 3:

Varric: So, three templars walk into a tavern.

Anders: Not right now, Varric.

Varric: You feeling all right, Blondie? You're always in the mood for templar jokes.

--

Varric: So, the knight-commander... Boiling in oil? That one never gets old.

Anders: This is past time for joking.

Varric: I'm helping you indulge in elaborate revenge fantasies. I think it's good for you.

Anders: Meredith will die. Do not doubt that.

Varric: Go away, Justice. Can Anders come out and play?

Anders: [Justice voice] Stop.

Varric: You are no fun anymore.

like, anders tries to give varric his pillow from his mother (one of his, if not most cherished items). varric doesn't take it presumably because he thinks anders is just going to kill himself (little did he know).like you gotta presume that varric thought back about his time with anders, the warning signs that were there (they were!!) and thought that maybe he could of stopped him.

and now fast forward to solas, who is doing something rash and destructive to many with the hopes that this time he can stop his friend.

[inexplicifics]

WIP Folders Game

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Tag as many people as you have wips. People send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

Tagged by @flawney - thank you!

Oooh boy. I think I need to learn how to make a readmore, because this is going to take a while. Also, I’m going to do non-AWAU fics only, I think.

I will not be tagging that many people! Please consider yourself tagged if you would like to be.

CAW Guxart mk 2

CAW: Cedric & Axel

CAW: Letho

Coën joins a pack (ISNLIV)

Jaskier writes to priscilla (ISNLIV)

SOH 3 (ISNLIV)

gaetan/letho in modern AU

Minor fall: Gweld

Pirate laiden - Aiden POV

Pirate laiden - Aiden POV 2

Gweld mk 3 (Three Bells)

Three bells - Vesemir

L/M warlady tribute 01

L/M warlady tribute 02

M/V guardian/mage

M/V guardian/mage 2

Aiden vs Puss in Boots

Broken lock - Marika & Milena reunite

Byzantine shifters - starbird

demon!Lambert/Milena

E/L wrestling

E/OC cursed Eskel

E/OC linnet

E/OC succubus rescue (outline)

Eldritch trio/Jaskier

Eskel & fae

Eskel character study

Eskel/Gaetan post-Tournament

Fine dining AU (notes)

G/E goat farm

G/E herbalist

G/E nostalgia deathfic

G/E prince & bodyguard

G/E/G2 packs

G/E/G2 volleyed & thundered 3

G/E/L 2nd 1st time sequel

G/E/L/J omegaverse claiming

G/J (?) werewolf!Geralt

G/J 5+1 Jaskier gets kidnapped

G/J catskier

G/J Geralt & a pixie

G/J h/c for Rose

G/J hostage essi

G/J little red riding hood

G/J mob AU

G/J modern AU lost J

G/J modern AU pack

G/J part-elf!J angst & h/c

G/J pirate!Geralt

G/J Rapunzel

G/J warlock!Jaskier

G/J warlord AU Jaskier volunteers

G/J whipping boy warlord AU

G/OC prostitute

G/Y dating

G/Y warlord AU

G/Y words

G2/S post tournament

Gargoyles with Starbird

Gen ? streetrats

Gen dragon wolf satyr bard

Gen high school AU

Gen KM with plumbing

Gen mercenaries

Gen nonhuman bar

Gen pavetta and geralt

Gen post-tournament school merger

Gen receptionist!Jaskier

Gen transformed Vesemir

Gen? Eskel & Deidre

Griffin pon farr

Gweld/Serrit modern college AU

J/W “warlord” CNC

J/W omegaverse pregnancy

J/W/C golden 3 - KM

knight!Milena

L/? Modern adult adoption

L/?/M space pirates

L/A against a wall

L/A collared Aiden

L/A d/s modern AU

L/A fae!Aiden

L/A fake dating modern AU

L/A hedgehog!lambert

L/A masseuse!aiden

L/A meet-cute karaoke 2

L/A modern with magic hedgehog

L/A neighbors

L/A omegaverse hidden scents

L/A pirate!Aiden for SAWB

L/A seven swans

L/A that-damned-cat

L/A thief’s reward sequel

L/A wrong apartment

L/A/M alpha!Milena

L/A/M auction: aiden

L/A/M bath aftermath

L/A/M bird!Milena

L/A/M cat witcher!milena

L/A/M cursed cat Aiden

L/A/M dire panther Milena

L/A/M dream soulmates

L/A/M duke’s third daughter

L/A/M fake dating

L/A/M fake dating modern AU

L/A/M forced marriage

L/A/M goddess!milena

L/A/M happened so fast second chapter

L/A/M high school AU

L/A/M holding out for a hero - finding Aiden

L/A/M knight!milena 2

L/A/M little merlambert

L/A/M mage!milena

L/A/M modern AU college

L/A/M modern AU tattooist

L/A/M modern auction

L/A/M modern tweet inspired

L/A/M modern wedding AU

L/A/M noble!Lambert witcher!Milena

L/A/M soulmate AU

L/A/M swan daemon

L/A/M time & tide alternate

L/A/M time travel soulmate AU

L/A/M Warlady Milena (and her Right Hand Zofia)

L/A/M wedding gift

L/A/V save that alpha

L/A/V/M bonding

L/A/V/M chase

L/A/V/M omegaverse

L/A/V/M omegaverse pt 2

L/A/V/M ruling omegas

L/A/V/M space romance

L/M batb beast!milena

L/M chained Milena

L/M chained Milena 2

L/M dom!Lambert

L/M dragon!Lambert

L/M hallmark yule mk 2

L/M holding out for a hero - marika miscommunication

L/M mail order milena

L/M meet cute in a cabin

L/M outsider POV

L/M sentinel/guide AU

L/M teacher!Milena

L/M werewolves darker

L/M wolves in the woods

L/M(/A?) modern bear trap

L/V cloaked

L/V/M begone to the witchers

L/V/M begone 2

Modern werewolf pack

tribute!Lambert warlord!Geralt

Vanyel in AWAU

Vexart tournament

Vipurr omegaverse human!gaetan

Vipurr regency AU

Weird omegaverse war prize thing

YW omegaverse acquiring Aiden

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 4

Propaganda

Moonshine Cybin (Not Another D&D Podcast: Bahumia):

She's a hot elf with mushrooms growing on her. She has 1 level of barbarian. She's bisexual. She shapeshifted into a dragon and ate a god.

how tf does the post not mention Moonshine’s giant boobs her greatest asset

Moonshine has canonically gone down on a woman for a solid hour without asking for anything in return. Moonshine edged a dryad just by kissing them. Moonshine faced down someone being controlled to kill everyone in his path and told him if he still wanted to hurt her, she would take his blows as a friend. Moonshine makes jambalaya for her family and friends. Moonshine mispronounced someone’s name for a month and that woman still wanted to hook up with Moonshine. These are just a few of the reasons why Moonshine is sexy.

shes illiterate

canonically huffs dirty water from a bong

has big tatas

wears a belly chain with a demon trapped in it

almost became the queen of hell

ate a god

turned into a pregnant moose & gave birth

Amber Gris (The Adventure Zone: Ethersea):

Middle aged woman who punches sharks to death. My hero

If you love me you'll vote for amber gris I swear to everything holy on earth amen

Amber is butch, instant win

Amber Gris has a negative charisma modifier and she pissed her pants on purpose in order to trick a guard and knock him out. She tied up a dude. She once killed an evil magic shark (they're out for murder. not like real sharks) by punching it and then picked it up and smashed it into another shark, also killing it. She talks in a southern accent. She calls people guppy because it indicates a lack of respect. She has a big pair of magical green arms that come from her stomach. She got a fancy jacket and immediately ripped its sleeves off. She has a gay thing going on with one of the political leaders in the city. She gets in fights with people and doesnt do vulnerability and tries to lay low and not get in any social trouble she doesn't have to. She jumped through a portal into a new world because she could. She's now the god of said world, alone with only afformentioned political leader, who was previously possessed and she had to fight. She spends her time in a bar called the Cloaca. She calls people she doesn't like claspers, because it means shark penis. She and her friend, an old man named Uncle Joshy, sneak attack each other and yell VIBE CHECK! She tries to talk fancy to impress people and she's really bad at it (verily).

She’s everything and more. She’s irreverent. She punches sharks for a living. She becomes God. What more do you need in a butch.

amber gris propaganda: she is straightup the physical embodiment of "women want me, fish fear me." also she's an appalachian post apocalyptic sea captain. that's just objectively cool.

Art of Amber from @cookie-nom-nom.