#emotion sickness...i hate that i love this song the lyrics are so cringe but it appears i'm still nostalgic for old parachute | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

writingsbychlo · 5 years ago

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if the world was ending | mitch rapp

word count; 5152

summary; mitch broke up with you because he couldn’t handle being in love again, and now he regrets that decision, and would do anything to take it back.

notes; this is a song fic, but I didn’t include all of the lyrics, so don’t send me asks about missing chunks, please! check out the song!

warnings; smut, unprotected sex.

I was distracted, and in traffic I didn't feel it when the earthquake happened, But it really got me thinkin' Were you out drinkin'? Were you in the living room Chillin', watching television?

His key would continuously seem to miss the lock on the door, and Mitch let out a low growl, shoving at the metal once again as he tried to force the lock to work, blurry eyes and exhaustion taking him over. Before he could question it, the door was opening from the inside, metal shifting and gears clicking before the wood was moving from his sights to reveal you instead, a bright smile on your face and one of his black henleys on your shoulders, hanging slightly loose around the open collar as it faded away into a pair of sleep shorts and fluffy socks clad on bare legs.

You were a sight for sore eyes, messy hair and teasing grin, and all.

“You didn’t even check who it was, what if I’d been an intruder?” He chastised, stumbling forwards one tired legs and pressing a kiss to your lips, humming happily as you pressed back into him just as eagerly, before he was kicking the door shut behind himself and dropping his bag down by the front door.

“An intruder with a key?” You raised your brows at him, his lips flicking up at the sides as his shoes followed; phone, wallet and keys all being discarded onto the side unit, and his eyes were locking onto the couch, joy filling him at the idea of laying down. “Not that you know how to use it, apparently.”

“You try using a key after six days in Russia with no sleep and having to fight, like, four people at once. Everything hurts.” You placed a hand on his chest to stop him in his movements as he edged toward the couch, a whine falling from him as he turned to look at you.

“You’re covered in blood, you’ll ruin my cushions, you need to wash up first.” He let out another sigh, despite knowing that it was a true and fair request, and nodded his head. “How about I run us a hot bath? I’ll put those bath salts in that make your muscles all tingly, and I’ll wash your hair for you.”

He nodded, a wave of serenity already washing over him simply at the idea that he’d get to relax in the warmth of the water, his back pressed to your chest as you wrapped around him from behind, holding him close. You were always so good at making him feel safe when he came home, and he knew it was one of the reasons he’d fallen for you in the first place. What was intended to be a simple fling to satisfy the cravings for basic affections and the lust deep in his gut had become much more.

He had a key to your apartment, and the cat the roamed the halls was friendly enough to bump its head against his shins and purr. He’d met your friends, and knew the names of every worker in that Thai place down the street that you loved so much, and they knew him. It had been so easy to slip into something more deep and meaningful with you, but there was still a clawing guilt in his stomach every time. The true intentions he’d had that night when he’d bought you a drink in a shitty bar while you wore a tight dress and danced under low lights, not to woo you and love you but simply to find a quick fuck, someone to warm his bed and quash the loneliness for a little while.

He hated that he couldn't give you what you needed, that he wasn’t able to love you, because he just didn’t know how anymore. Every time he came home and went to your place instead of his, the key he held and the emotion in your eyes every time you looked at it, it was only a matter of time before you said those three little words to him that he couldn't say back, and everything he so deeply craved would come crashing and burning down at his feet once again. Warmth would shift to icy chills and he’d have locked himself out once again, because commitment just wasn’t something he was capable of anymore.

The water was running, gentle hands skimming up his sides as you helped him to undress, his own hands working over soft skin as he pushed your clothing to the floor, mouths melding in soft kisses, fingertips leaving goosebumps over flesh as you embraced one another’s touch once again, and even with the respite from his guilt that your presence provided for him, it was still always there. A pit in his stomach that was growing bigger and bigger, because as the tender moment stretched on and on, he knew tonight was going to be when you said it, full of bliss and joy and expecting to hear the phrase back, and so he kissed you, deeply, willing you not to, so that he could selfishly claim just a few more hours with you before it was all over.

It's been a year now Think I've figured out how How to let you go and let communication die out I know, you know, we know You weren't down for forever and it's fine I know, you know, we know We weren't meant for each other and it's fine

Pressing his forehead against the side of the plane, his eyes fluttered shut for a second, the painful ache spreading over the entirety of his body was enough to make any other grown man cry, but that wasn’t the cause of the burning behind his eyes today. Today, Mitch had the painful reminded of this day a year ago when he’d been on his way to see you, but he didn’t quite have that luxury anymore. His throat was tinging, choking back the emotions he held, one’s he so wanted to release, and his nostrils flared with a deep sigh instead.

“You’re been pouting like a child all fuckin’ day. Will you cheer up? You’re ruining the beer I’m anticipating when I get home with your foul mood.”

He cracked his eyes open, hoping they didn’t appear as glassy and red as they felt, and he swallowed down the lump in his throat, scowling at his mentor in hopes that he’d lay off. That tactic clearly hadn't worked, however, because Stan shifted a little more in his seat, dragging a curious gaze over every inch of his face in a way that made Mitch squirm in his seat a little, uncomfortable at the scrutiny he was being afforded.

“You look depressed.”

“That’s because I’m stuck on a plane with you.” He muttered, moving himself to look out of the window instead, and his mentor barked out an amused laugh, but Mitch could still feel his lingering stares.

“No, I think you’re freaking out about what happens after you’re no longer on the plane with me.” He hated that Stan could read him so easily, that to everyone else he was a safe that was locked up tight, and that it was so easy for the other man to crawl under his skin, get on all of his nerves and be one of the only people who truly knew him. “You weren’t even this on edge and tense when we were on our way out, never mind coming home.”

“I just don’t like going home to an empty house, okay? It’s too quiet. Cold.”

He grumbled the words out, but Stan scoffed, and was fixed with a harsh glare in return, but he didn’t flinch like Mitch wished he would, seemingly unaffected by the burning stare. “And who’s fault is that, huh?”

Mitch opened his mouth, gaping a little, before snapping his jaw shut tightly, feeling the muscles twitch and tense as his teeth ground together. He could feel the divet between his brows, where they had puled together, a spot that always formed when he was angry or confused or concentrating, and he could still feel the warmth and weight of you sinking down into his lap while he wrote up his reports, your thumb smoothing over the spot, followed by a brush of your lips as you told him to relax.

The thought made his eyes sting once again, and he cursed a little under his breath, giving in at the stares they were sharing as he cowered out, blinking forming tears away quickly. “I don’t get what your problem was. You clearly care about her. Why can’t you just tell her that, and stop sulking? It’d do you good o have her back, I liked you better when you weren’t sulking and single. Less of a bitch to work with.”

“You’re a bitch to work with.”

“What are you? Five?”

He knew it had been a weak response, and he cringed a little on himself, sinking down further into the plush leather of the plane seat and trying to sift through his thoughts, something that Hurley clearly acknowledged, because he waited patiently but expectantly in silence, running a hand over his jaw as he watched Mitch try to gather his thoughts up and sort himself out. “It’s not so easy to just say. It’s complicated.”

“It really ain’t.” Stan shrugged, something about his tone making Mitch feel like he was about to get some kind of fatherly advice, and his curiosity got the best of him as he peered over at his superior. “I’ve heard you say that word before. Heard you say how much you love beer, how much you love beef dumplings and noodles on a Friday night, how much you love knocking cocky recruits on their ass.”

“Saying I love food is not the same as being able to say I love (Y/N).” He hissed, hopes dropping as he realised the statement wasn’t going to be useful, but Stan smirked at him wickedly, shrugging his shoulders and sipping his drink.

“Yeah, well, you just said it.” His face twisted up, moving between several different expressions, before a slightly nauseated shock was what he settled on, as he realised that the words he’d never been able to say aloud before, or even internally acknowledge, had finally been voiced for the first time. In front of Hurley, of all people. He was never going to be able to live this down. “Now, why can’t you say that to her?”

“Because everyone I’ve ever loved before has died, Stan.”

He could see the shock flick across the older man’s face, and it brought him a sick kind of amusement to know he’d caught him so off-guard, but then he was shrugging, and again moving back to that irritating level of passive smart-ass that only he had managed to master so effectively. “Yeah, well, you didn’t have the same training you did before now, did you? You’re not even thirty. You gonna’ spend the whole rest of your life miserable and unhappy just because of a car crash and a shooting, both of which were beyond your control?”

A dull aching in his chest flare dup a little at the mentions of those events, but he knew it was true, and his body deflated with the breath he let out as he gave the weakest rise and drop of his shoulders that he could, his hands clasping over his stomach as he turned to stare out of the plane window. A large hand found his shoulder, squeezing comfortingly, but he didn’t bother to look over.

“Just stop being a dumbass, you clearly love this girl, so why don’t you just get your head out of your ass and go see her?”

Stan wandered away after that, ice clinking in his glass as he handed it off to a flight attendant before disappearing to the bathroom, and Mitch was left alone to wallow in painful thoughts with a stabbing pain in his chest as his heart continued to long for you.

But if the world was ending You'd come over, right? You'd come over and you'd stay the night Would you love me for the hell of it? All our fears would be irrelevant If the world was ending You'd come over, right? The sky'd be falling and I'd hold you tight And there wouldn't be a reason why We would even have to say goodbye If the world was ending You'd come over, right? Right?

He was sweating, hands clammy with a nervous perspiration that made him feel uncomfortable in his clothes, like he wanted to curl up into a ball, dig a hole in the earth, throw up, or some combination of all three. The walk he’d done was so familiar to him, and yet right now, as he stood before your door, it had felt eerily unfamiliar.

There were definite changes.

Your neighbour’s suspicious cat sat out on the front of the apartment building but did not come over to him, even when he’d called out its name, taking the welcome distraction as he crouched down and held his hand out to it, trying to tempt it into remembering him, into approaching him again, but it hadn't. The small animal had simply stared at him as he stood there, before mewing loudly and running away when he’d taken a fraction of a step closer to the door.

The elevator in the main building was working, it had broken only a few months into seeing you before, and now it was back up and working like it had never been broken. The lights in the entryway were brighter, and the hallways had been repainted, the soft grey that they had once been was replaced with sky blue, much brighter and cheerier, and he remembered you telling him about it while laying in bed together one night, it was the exact colour you’d voted for when the building meeting had taken place to discuss it.

The crack in the framing by your door that you’d never gotten around to fixing was mended, damage done by the previous tenants and he’d always said he would fix it for you, but had then always forgotten to bring the tools he would need for it, and he choked down the regret in his throat as he brushed a finger over it. He knew the route, his feet feeling like dead weight under his body as he’d trudged along the halls, before finding himself here, all but trembling with fear and anticipation outside of your door.

The paper and ribbons wrapped around the flowers in his hands were crinkling loudly with every shake he made, and he took a deep and steadying breath, shaking himself down from head to toe. The rapping of his knuckles on the door felt like it reverberated along his entire body, his heart thumping painfully hard against his chest as he waited, eyes fixed on the floor as he watched warm light spill out from under the threshold and into the corridor, soon blocked by a shadow as he heard the scuffling of your feet along the floorboards.

Breath was stuck in his lungs, a choked sound leaving him as the door swung open, your voice ringing out but dying in your throat as you spoke, claiming that whoever it was that you were expecting - certainly not him - was early, and he dropped his eyes, just for a split second to scan along your body, before he was looking up at your face once again.

So pretty, and if he’d thought the melodic ringing of your voice was enough to end him then he had been entirety unprepared for the sight of you. The little black dress he loved so much was fitted to you like a second skin, a cocktail dress he’d seen you wear so many times before as he took you out for drinks and celebrations, his body flooding with heat. Hair styled up, makeup to perfection, and he would have been just as breathless if you’d crawled out of bed to answer the door but you were stunning, and he hated every ounce of himself for ever letting you go.

His jaw dropped as you stared at him in shock, pain flashing in your eyes before you hardened your gaze on him, an act he’d never wished to have you aim at him and yet he knew he deserved it, and yet the words were burning on the tip of his tongue as every moment he’d ever shared with you flashed before his eyes, swirling in his mind, and pulling one very prominent one to the front.

The last time that he’d almost uttered the phrase to you, the one he was determined for you to hear from him now, even if you no longer felt the same. The last time you’d worn this dress, and you’d taken him with you to celebrate one of your friend’s birthdays, his cheeks heating up as he looked at you, but saw that day.

I tried to imagine your reaction It didn't scare me when the earthquake happened But it really got me thinkin' That night we went drinkin' Stumbled in the house And didn't make it past the kitchen Ah, it's been a year now Think I've figured out how How to think about you without it rippin' my heart out

You were giggling into his mouth, red lipstick smeared across his chin and cheeks as your fingers scratched at the stubble lining his jaw, tongue tangled together as you stumbled into your apartment. The door slammed as it closed, hard enough to shake the walls, but neither of you cared, especially not when you were making such sweet sounds for him as his hands slipped lower and lower across the silk lining your body.

Shoes came off first, his shoes being toed off as you tried to kick off your heels, sinking a few inches further down his body as the height fell away, and he wrapped an arm around your waist to be able to lean over you, keeping his mouth firmly on yours as wet tongues tangled together. You were stumbling through the apartment, tripping over one another’s feet and laughing breathlessly as your hands worked down the buttons on the front of his shirt.

You were pushing the material from his shoulders, blazer and dress shirt falling away to the floor with a distant ‘thud’, the fluttering of material sounding out, and the heat around you both was crawling higher and higher. It was frantic, a night of teasing and longing looks, sipping champagne and cocktails with sly winks and whispered needs. He’d cleaned up for the event, and you’d made it clear before you’d even left just how good you thought he looked, and you were clad in dark black silk with thigh slits and heels and you were enough to bring any man to his knees, and he absolutely intended for that to be his next destination.

He was rucking up layers of fabric in his hands until the skirt was bunched around your waist, making you hold it up, and the closest surface he could pin you to was the counter of the breakfast bar, barely having even made it through the kitchen, and hissed as bare skin found the cool marble. His knees hit the floor, your panties following until the scrap of lace was pulled tight around your knees, but then he was helping you up, sitting you on the surface, letting your lay back as he spread your legs and dived right in.

You were dripping for him, before he’d even done anything but kiss you, a groan slipping from his lips as he all but drooled at the thrill of getting to indulge in the honey that was slick on your thighs. That was where he started, licking up the mess you’d already made of yourself as you squirmed and panted underneath him, letting him tease you with small bites and sucking at your soft skin until you’d growled in frustration, a hand in his hair pulling him closer until you were burying his face into your core, sounds that filled every wet dream he ever had taking over.

His scalp had burned, the scratch of your nails and tugs of the strands and your thighs and hips had been littered with red marks the shape of his fingerprints that would be purple in the morning, but he knew you loved it just as much as he did. Two fingers had slipped into you, scissored and curled as he lapped around them, driving you to the point of senseless babbling just with his fingers and tongue, before you’d exploded around him. Then, he’d fucked you.

Deep and slow on the counter with your arms wrapped around his neck, legs tights around his waist as you clung to one another, a collection of tangled limbs, a moaning mess and you chased your highs, until the two of you had been all but sobbing one another’s name into the other’s mouth as you kissed your way through your peaks, and he’s spattered your thighs and cunt with his arousal, pulling out at the very last second and leaving you trembling underneath him when he’d scooped it up and pressed it to your lips.

It was hot, and erotic, but the moments after had been loving and tender. Taking a shower with weak muscles, sinking to the bottom of the tub together as water thrashed down from overhead, soft kisses and laughs and whispered confessions until the water had gone cold, and you’d collapsed into bed together, leaving a mess t tidy up int he morning, sheets sticking to wet skin as you were too lazy to even dry off, just cuddling together under the sheets, drunk on one another, and the words had been so close that night. A sleepy, post-orgasm haze, he’d so nearly whispered them against your lips as you kissed him goodnight.

I know, you know, we know You weren't down for forever and it's fine I know, you know, we know We weren't meant for each other and it's fine But if the world was ending You'd come over, right? You'd come over and you'd stay the night Would you love me for the hell of it? All our fears would be irrelevant

“I love you.”

You flinched, like you were standing too close to a fire and had been burned, and it felt like a knife twisting in his stomach as he watched your reaction. Your arms came up to wrap around yourself, toes digging into the wood of the floor as you stood your ground but he knew your nervous ticks, he knew you, and he frowned, but didn’t let it deter him.

“I love you so, so much. I’m a fucking idiot, I know I am. I know you hate me, and you’ve probably moved on and can find someone who actually deserves you, but I’m selfish, okay? I wanted you to hear it, I had to tell you, for my own peace of mind. I had to know that I cam here, and had the balls to tell you that you are the person who hasn’t left my mind in an entire fucking year. Every thought, every dream, every time my heart beats, it’s all for you, and I had to tell you.” He took a deep breath, scanning your face for even a twitch, any slight tell of an emotion he could get, but you were offering him nothing. “I couldn’t say it before, I was scared and I didn’t know what I was feeling and I know that I hurt you. It kills me every day to know what I did, to think about your face, and the way you’d cried when I walked out, because it haunts me, okay? A year ago today, I lost the best thing in my god damn life, and I just had to tell you, because in another year, and another ten years, and forever on, I think I’ll still love you then. I had to know that you knew.”

You were staring at him, eyes wide and a little glassy as he took a deep breath, lungs screaming out for oxygen and his mind was finally blank. The incessant buzzing he’d become accustomed to as his mind whirled around you on a loop had finally stopped, and he was left in calm, the aftermath of an event, the silence that came after an explosion, the harmony after a fight when everything just went still.

But there was always more to come.

Only then did the thoughts about what you were wearing catch up to him. Pretty painted lips and sharp eyeliner and that sinful dress that made his blood run warmer in his veins as he burned from the inside out. A quick glance behind you confirmed that there was a pair of black strappy heels to match the outfit, a necklace with a gem that he’d never seen you wear before was hanging between your breasts in the low neckline of your dress, skin soft and freshly shaven on the slit up your thigh on your dress.

He let out a sigh, shoulders slumping a little, but he tried to offer you a reassuring smile nonetheless. “Date?”

Your brows pulled in with confusion, and he could physically see the walls surrounding you begin to crumble away, before you let out a heavy sigh, your arms dropping as you caved under his faze, finally speaking to him; “No. Drinks with the girls.”

“Ah, right..”

A tepid silence took over, and he tried not to drop his eyes from yours. Soaking up every moment he had with you before you inevitably kicked him off of your doorstep, and you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning on the doorframe. “A distraction. They’re taking me out to cheer me up, because it’s been a year since the best thing in my life walked out on me.”

Mitch felt his breath hitch in his throat as he stared at you.

If the world was ending You'd come over, right? The sky'd be falling while I'd hold you tight No, there wouldn't be a reason why We would even have to say goodbye If the world was ending You'd come over, right? You'd come over, right? You'd come over, you'd come over, you'd come over, right?

A fistful of his shirt, a harsh tug that he wasn’t expected that made him fall over his own feet, and then there were lips on his own. He couldn’t help it, the embarrassingly needy whine that left him the second his brain caught up with what was happening, and he dropped the bouquet to the floor, hands finding your hips as he pulled you into him. Bodies collided, flush and pressed together, your hands circling his neck and fingers in his hair, heat flooding him from where you were pressed to him, and it felt like he’d been cold for the entirety of the past year, goosebumps rising and falling along his skin as he fell back home, into your arms.

Your cheeks were wet as you gasped into his mouth, tongues sliding together, panting from breath as noses bumped. It was urgent and rushed, not the kiss he’d imagined with you if you’d forgive him, but the one that seemed most fitting. Messy and uncoordinated as if you were learning each other for the first time, becoming familiarised once again with every inch of the other, hands roaming and tongue exploring, until you were satisfied that you were thoroughly reconnected.

He let out a wet and hoarse laugh, raising one hand to sit on your jaw and wipe his thumb under your eyes, clearing away the tears that were already threatening to spoil the masterpiece you’d created, and he knew how long it took you to do it.

“Baby, please don’t cry. You’re going to ruin your makeup.”

You let out a laugh, and he cleared your face, stealing a few more pecks as though at any moment you were going to realise what he’d done, go back to hating him, push him away as if this was the last he’d ever get to see you. You were staring up at him, with glassy eyes and the sweetest smile he’d ever seen, and Mitch swore he couldn't even feel the floor anymore, as if he was floating, up in the clouds and lost to the world.

“I’ll wait. I’ll wait right here, until you come back. We can talk, or you can yell, whatever you want. I’ll be here.”

“I‘m not going anywhere.” You pulled him back in, another collection of sweet kisses that he didn’t deserve but would always accept, never willing to give them up again. “I’d rather stay in and watch TV with you, but you have to go and get us takeout. You know I hate walking to get it.”

“I do, I do know that.” He sniffed, breathy exhale like a laugh as he held onto you tightly, before dipping down to collect the discarded flowers from the ground. A few crumpled petals fell away to the floor, but they were otherwise intact, and he pressed them into your hand carefully, watching as you admired them, thumbing at the delicate leaves and bringing them to your nose.

“This doesn’t get you off the hook, you know.”

“I’ll spend the entire rest of my life making it up to you, I swear.” You only nodded, letting him into your apartment as you led him inside, smiles and tears and he dipped down, lips brushing your earlobe as he listened to you gasp in surprise. “I love you, so much.”

“I love you too, Mitch. Even if you are a fuckin’ idiot.” He only nodded, following your lead as you took him by the hand and guided him through to find a vase and water for the flowers. “Go get my phone, I need to text my friends.”

He did as told, trailing through the apartment, bringing your purse back with him and presenting the item to you, his hands searching for your body once again, just needing to hold you and know that it was real, to know that this time, you weren’t just a dream his mind was conjuring up to torment him with.

He didn’t need a night out, he didn’t need you to be dressed up, he didn’t need anything but you. You and him, and the love you shared, it was enough to get him through anything.

If the world was ending You'd come over, right?

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478 notes · View notes

romiantic · 4 years ago

Text

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒕𝒂 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒙 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌!𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ࿐ྂ

彡 ❛ 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 ❜

彡 𝗳𝘁. ryota kise

彡 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: fluff with very little angst

彡 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.3k

彡 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: suggestive theme at the end

彡 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: all characters are 18+. also can we talk about how BOMB this song is 🤧 y’all sleepin on this song fr

·˚ ༘ੈ✩‧₊˚ ╰┈➤ ❛❛ 𝙄 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘿𝙊 𝙄𝙏 ❜❜

❝ 𝐘/𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐘𝐎 𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐔𝐏! You have two minutes till showtime.” Your manager, AKA, older brother, barged and announced to you like he didn’t update you almost five minutes ago.

You did your usual of sucking your teeth and rolling your teeth every time he barged in and interrupted your call, you replied with annoyance in your tone, “AJ I know! Can you wait a minute? Damn, so impatient for absolutely no reason.”

“I’m sorry who’s the one with hundreds of thousands of fans screaming their name and waiting for their ass outside? Me or you? Oh okay. Anyways, end yo little call with yo boyfr-”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You interrupted, becoming irritated with your brother and simply wanted him to shut the fuck up. A great manager and brother, yet way too uptight for his job.

AJ rolled his eyes and muttered something but you flipped him off and pretended not to hear him until he left your dressing room. You gave your attention back to your phone, giving a cheeky smile to the blonde boy on your screen. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a nervous look growing on you but from what you could tell, he was choosing what shirt to wear to his photoshoot. Leaving him to be seen with a no top on and a pair of denim jeans.

Though it was typical to see your best friend’s exposed upper body, it was a sight you never got used to. His well-toned body, results from years of playing basketball in middle and high school, making your face hot, adding on to the nervousness you were already facing from your upcoming performance. Along with the pearly white smile he flashed at you creating a sick feeling in your stomach, something that you made you clench onto it and try to ignore. Now was not the time to be drooling over your best friend, who interrupted your stare with a laugh and said, “Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna take a picture?”

Of course, he’d ruin it with some cocky line like that, you rolled your eyes and sucked your teeth. “Boy calm down, ain’t nobody wanna was staring.”

“Your nervous face said otherwise.”

“Akekeke, don’t you have a photoshoot to go to?”

Kise replied with the same energy as yours, “And don’t you have a performance to go to?”

You held up a finger to a screen then crossed your arms, “Aht aht, don’t worry about me now. Worry about yo lil pictures with that famous ass Russian model.” You wanted to roll your eyes just thinking about the brought-up woman but it would make it seem like you’re being jealous for no reason.

Kise let out a small laugh, adoring the irritated look that was starting to creep up on your face. “Somebody sounds jealous.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a scoff, “Oh please, like I would be.” You looked at the time on your watch and noticed it was about one minute until your performance. Your eyes widened at the time and hurried, you quickly ended the call with Kise, “Shit, fuck! I gotta go perform but I’ll call you back when I’m done.”

“And I’ll be waiting for you beautiful when you get back.” The golden-eyed boy winked at you yet you cringed and scrunched your face. “You’re so fucking corny Kise.” You hung up the call, grab any other pieces missing from your outfit, and headed out of your dressing room.

You traveled quickly around backstage, passing by many coworkers and background dancers waiting for you, to head into the small tunnel for artists to come out on stage. You stopped at the exit and gulped as you scanned the stage. An outside arena with hundreds of thousands of fans cheering your name, waiting for your appearance.

Usually, you would be at ease with concerts this large but for some reason this time is different. Unknowing the reason nor cause, you started to feel anxious, your hands mildly shaking and your throat going dry.

There was something in the back of your mind attempting to not make you perform, something telling you to not do it, it won’t be good, people will hate you. A voice there to influence thoughts, hoping that you would fall into the trap and just give up on singing. Though of course, you wouldn’t listen to that voice, that voice always lingered around whenever you were brought to perform, no matter where you were.

The only thing to distract you and keep you safe from that tiny voice is someone who you’ve longed to love. One who just settles your nerves, bringing comfort, and removing all anxious thoughts. One who would deem you as one of the greatest artists he’s ever listened to, maybe it’s opinionated but he loves you too much to disagree.

The now dawdling thought of his soft voice whenever he spoke or his flirtatious nature when you two joked around made a familiar feeling grow greater than before. Something replaced the anxiousness that was growing, a feeling that replaced the nervousness and calmed your shaky hands. Something that was the thought of Ryota Kise, he was like the medicine to all the pain you’ve suffered. A remedy to your anxiety, one of the many causes of the cheeky smile social media often sees you with.

Someone who you grew up and spent all your life with, always noticing how protective he was of you or the way he hummed one of your pre-recorded tracks that he was the only one to listen to. Celebrating one of your songs had hit #1 on the Billboard chart and the way he helped out whenever you hit writer’s block.

Every single thing, noticeable or not, made you grown to love the boy, starting from a platonic, playground friendship blooming to many years of trying to figure out if you are romantically in love with him. Growing familiar feelings of butterflies mixed with the thought of just wanting to cup his face and kiss him whenever he was around.

Just the ultimate feeling of wanting to be buried in the blonde boy’s arms and explain the blooming love for him made you want to sing the song you wrote for him. A new single that you never wanted to put out since you wanted only Kise to hear it, including that the song was your way of telling him what you felt all these years.

Though something changed your mind, something in your brain told you to tell everyone around you that you’re singing solo, no backup singers or dancers, only you on that stage. In this performance, you just had to do it yourself, nothing but you, the stage, and the microphone.

Everyone was confused by the last-minute change of plans but went along with it. They rescheduled it to where your first “official” song to start the concert with was right after your solo performance. You gave thanks to your team and took some deep breaths. You made sure your Bluetooth set was on and working properly in your ear, AJ handed you a mic and brushed off any wrinkling from your outfit and any smoothed out your hair. Uptight about his job yet made sure his little sister was looking the greatest for her performances.

You took deep breaths again, shook off any bad nerves, and walked on stage. The already excited crowd enraged and their volume expanded as they saw you stand before them. Everyone waving their signs that said, “I love you y/n!!” or “Y/N is so beautiful!” You waved to the audience and stopped at the middle of the stage, walking closer to the front of the stage as well.

You turned on the mic and tapped it to see if it was working, “Mic check one two, can you guys hear me?” The crowd immediately responded yes, you continued on to talk to them, “Okay good, have been getting technical difficulties with my mic and I really don’t feel like switching mics three times. Anyways, afternoon to all my lovely fans who made it out here or to those that are watching me live. I love you all and thank you for supporting me, I truly am grateful for every single one of y’all.” Everyone screamed out how much they love you and adore you, showing off their merch that they bought and waving the homemade posters.

You smiled at their response and cleared your throat as you introduced the song, “Thank you, I love you too. This first song is one that has been sitting too comfortably in my heart. A piece that came from genuine emotions and feelings I’ve tried to bury yet couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. It’s something that I never planned on dropping but I just felt like the world had to hear what I had to say. Hopefully, you guys enjoy it cause I did when I was writing this song at two in the morning before I snuck into the studio and recorded it. Was it worth it? Definitely. Now I may introduce to you, Not Another Love Song. A contradicting title isn’t it?”

You took a large breath in and out, you took a position as you waited for the beat to drop. As soon as you heard the familiar melody start, you sang, “I don’t wanna mess this up, could it be too much to say I’m in?”

The crowd lowered down and became silent to hear your new single, grasping the beautiful new lyrics you were singing and just vibing along with it.

You yourself were placing emotion as you sang, not noticing how proudly you sang the chorus or how you were smiling at the crowd the entire time. One thing was clouding your mind to even pay attention to those details, the same thing that more than likely pushed you to sing the song.

As you sang, the feelings for your best friend grew stronger, butterflies in your stomach, and the deprivation of his touch grew on you. Not even realizing how much you missed him until you turned initially to smile at AJ and your team yet saw a familiar face appear as well. You questioned it but then turned back to continue singing to the audience, only thinking that mind is playing games with you.

“I'm finna take my time, my mind, my rules. This ain't no crimе makin' love to you, though you ain't say this. But I had a hard time waitin' for you, boy. Like ooh, boy, you, boy. Got me where you want, just gotta say and it's on, it's like, ooh, boy, do you know you got me like where do you go when you're alone?”

As you sang, you noticed the crowd growing silent, their eyes widening, and their jaws dropping. You were utterly confused at was catching their attention, you turned to your team and your brother pointed behind, giving you a goofy smile as well.

You turned around to what was the cause of this silent commotion and right along with everyone else, your jaw drop and your eyes widened. The flirtatious, handsome model that everyone knew of was standing in front of you with a bouquet of roses in his hand. He walked up to you and smiled greatly, closing in the large gap between the both of you.

Seeing him walk closer to you made you want to say forget concert and sing the rest to him. Half of your feeling was already poured out, not even knowing he was listening to all of it. You didn’t think he would even be here since he had a photoshoot, not standing on an outside stage with a bouquet of roses and dressed in casual attire.

He handed you the roses and kissed your forehead, telling you, “Alone with you, away from the world, where else would I be when I’m alone?”

No response came from you, not even a single gasp or a sniffle to signify that you might cry. The way you responded to his presence was something that shocked the arena, everyone watching you on live, your team, and even the two of you yourself. Who would’ve thought you would be bold enough to grab his face and kiss him right then and there? You snaked your arm around his waist and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. He responded back by wrapping his hands around your shoulders and hugging you tightly, holding onto you to make sure you wouldn’t separate from him.

You pulled back from the kiss and smiled, softly combed his blonde hair, and expressed, “I love you, Kise.” Saying his name like it was something you’ve been aching to say, a name that you’ve buried away yet brought out today. A name that sounded so lovely and romantic when you say it.

Kise expressed as well, “I love you too y/n. I’ve always loved you and I will never stop loving you.” He kissed you again, he removed his hand from your shoulders and trailed around to find your hands. He removed your hands from his waist and instead intertwined them with his.

He felt you smile when he held your hand and smiled back. He stated in between kisses, “You know I’m staying on this stage to hear you finish that song right?”

“It’s fine, I need someone to do my next performance on anyways.” He looked at you and you did nothing but wink and mischievously smiled at him. Kise had a small idea of what he could expect but suppressed it to enjoy the soft moment he wanted between the both of you. A moment that he’ll never forget and a concert that will always be remembered for everyone around you.

彡 it’s like 5 am and I’m tired 🦧 the only thing that kept me up was the fact that I don’t have school plus I loveeeeee kise

彡 also the show olivia

彡 I don’t think I ever mentioned to y’all how much I love his ass but now is definitely not the time 😁

彡 I’m convinced if it silent black hair blue eye powerful men weren’t my type, cocky and flirtatious ones would be runner up

彡 anyways hope you guys enjoy + pleaseee listen to the song, I highly recommend plus ella mai is VERY underrated

bye babes, drink your water, stay hydrated, and remember that you are the baddest bitch on the planet 🥰 no matter what ANYONE says

𝐏𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝟏𝟖:𝟑𝟎 💗

#knb x black reader #knb x black!reader #ryouta kise x black reader #ryouta kise x black!reader #knb fluff #kise fluff #ryouta kise fluff

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atsukashii · 5 years ago

Text

chapter 16 // tell me its over

Apartment 204 - Katsuki Bakugou x reader

<< sixteen >>

|| tell me its over ||

Word count: 4K - because i have no chill

In which Bakugou is your hellish asshole of a downstairs neighbour, and also the cute, broody regular at your work you’ve been hitting on for the past few weeks. Things get complicated though when the past makes a reappearance, then shit kinda hits the fan.

You glance down at your phone, the screen far too bright for your eyes in your dark room. Katsuki’s last message to you is staring you right in the face, sending a sharp pain straight into your chest. Black dots dance across your vision as you remember to breathe.

What is going on?

You know that you’re partially at fault for this, for not telling him even some semblance of the truth about your ex, but you were just trying to not be a damn burden. Why should he have to deal with that? You have had to do things on your own for such a long time, even your friends knew your boundaries - how does one even rely on someone without becoming so co-dependent that it hurts to be away from them? No, you think. Somewhere along the way, you became so used to seeing and being with him, that when you parted it hurt to breathe. Hanging your head in your hands, you press the heels of your hands into your closed eyes trying to stop the pressure from building behind them. How did you get to this point?

What a waste of time…

That line made you so mad. You knew he was hurt and mixing pure anger in with his already not-headed nature, you didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. And you weren’t going to take it from him that’s for damn sure. Your mixed emotions were swinging between despair and anger like a wrecking ball going through concrete, and you knew if you weren’t careful it would crush everything and crumble the foundations of your very being. But Jesus Christ you just wanted to scream!

“What a fucking asshole!” You suddenly shout, feeling not even a sliver of the building pressure inside your release. You need some mood music, you decide, before you crumple into a useless ball of tears. Maybe you were just unlucky when it came to relationships. You were already aware that your communication skills sucked majorly, but you honestly thought that he was it. That he was that one person that was made just for you, and were you aware that it sounds cringe? Yes, you were. But you didn’t really care, though, if he thinks he can talk to you that way, oh he’s got another thing coming.

Getting up and walking to the stereo in the lounge, you connect your phone and turn the sound dial to deafening.

‘Look inside Look inside your tiny mind Now look a bit harder 'Cause we're so uninspired So sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor’

Turning the music up louder until you can physically feel the bass vibrating the floorboards beneath your feet, you let out a frustrated yell at your whole situation - you would rather be angry than the other option was miserable despair. You’d get to that point eventually, but right now you’re pissed as fuck.

What the actual fuck had happened?

One second, everything had been peachy and perfect, and the next he was accusing you of cheating on him? What utter fucking bullshit! Stomping into the kitchen, you open the cupboard beneath the sink and pull out the vodka you had leftover from your last girls’ night with Ochako a few weeks ago, and tear the lid off.

“What utter bullshit!” You snap at nothing, and raise the rim to your lips, taking one swig. Two. Three. Suddenly, there’s a thumping under your feet that doesn’t come from the beat and you know it’s your asshole neighbor. “Fuck off!” You mumble.

What a fucking waste of time.

You want to hate him.

You want to be violent, to punch him in the face, to scream and cry. You wanted to do something, so that he could possibly feel even a sliver of the pain you were currently enduring...but you couldn’t bring yourself to do even that.

‘You know he’s hurting too, that’s why he bit your head off’. You would call that rational voice in your head common sense, but tonight it could get the fuck out.

Because you know that the reason this hurt so bad, the reason you are breaking down is that you loved that brash asshole that scowls too much. The one that calls you a dumbass but did so with eyes full of admiration. The one that buys you coffee even though he knows you could get it for free from your work because he can, the one who will sit in on a fucking boring ass biology lecture at 8 am in his free time because he was bored and just wanted to be with you. The one that puts your education, dreams, and aspirations at the forefront of his mind, and knows you do the same. The one that helps you study for exams. The one that knew you loved PDA and would do stupidly cute things like hold your hand and kiss you in public even though he despises public displays of affection.

You should have told him about Shindo ages ago. You should have told him how when you’d met the raven-haired boy you were only ten. That you’d been enamoured with him until he finally had made his feelings known when you fifteen. He had been your first everything; first kiss, first love - everything. You had even chosen your current college purely so you could be with him. What a stupid move that was. He made promises that he never kept. Like the flip of a coin, his sweet and kind personality you thought you knew turned into something completely different. You could barely recognize him. Shindo Yo became the psychotic boyfriend that you should steer far clear of. Expecting you to be at his beck and call, you found that being around him no longer took your breath away as it had once before, but instead smothered you.

You should have told Katsuki how you had come home to your shared apartment to find clothing littered across the floor, leading to your bedroom. You knew what was going on before you even recognized what you had heard. You should have told Katsuki about just how much it crushed you, about how you crumpled to the floor after walking right out of your apartment. You should have told him about the slump you were in after. There were days when you wanted to scream and days when you wanted to cry. You should have told your boyfriend that your ex had cheated on you and that he was pestering you non-stop. You should have trusted him, you should have relied on him. But that’s the thing about looking back on something, you see every little mistake you’ve made and how you could have changed it, but you can’t change what’s in the past.

You know that you were partially in the wrong for this, but so was he. Who does he think he is talking to someone like that? You know he’s hot-headed and can be borderline arrogant, but the way he spoke to you? Maybe you didn’t need that in your life…

‘Your point of view is medieval…’ Lilly Allen’s voice sings through your speakers and you frown at the blank tv in front of you. You had every right to be pissed at him right now, and though you know you may never truly hate him, you could be fucking livid. The chorus hit and you stood up on your couch and shouted the lyrics along with the music.

“Fuck you! Fuck you very, very much. 'Cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew, so, please don't stay in touch!” You all but scream, not caring for anything but the anger and pain trying to burst its way out of you. Your phone vibrates in your pocket and faster than you would like to admit it finds its way to your hand.

Text from Unknown: Y/n...can we please meet up. I just want to talk to you again, I miss us. Hear me out please gorgeous... - Shindo.

You feel something inside you begin to crack as the tiny sliver of hope you had that it was Katsuki leaves you. There is no hesitation as you turn off your phone and toss it on the couch away from you.

“Why are all men douchebags?” You ask yourself, tears threatening to fall as your anger begins to shift to something else. No no no, you’re not going to cry. You are not a fucking crybaby y/n... Earlier, the idea of being alone sounded like what you needed, but now, the music blasting, your apartment felt eerily quiet and your heartbeat echoed inside your head in perfect synchronization with the beat. You just knew you as you had reread your boy- ex’s texts, you couldn’t have your friends right that second because you knew you would break down and burst into a useless puddle of tears and you were better than that. You were stronger than that. A boy wasn’t going to break your heart. Not again.

“Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful? 'Cause there's a hole where your soul should be,” you mumble along with the song, sitting on the edge of the couch just listening along with the words. Your brain wanders to your friends, and then automatically to Kirishima and Kaminari. His friends were so nice to you and were people you had started to think of as your own friends. Ones he was so rude to but fiercely loyal to. Why couldn’t he be this loyal to you…

You feel sobs building at the back of your throat and try to swallow them down. It hurt too much; his accusation was a force of relentless bullets that keep ripping new wounds into you. The thought of ever doing that to someone else, of someone having to go through what you had, it made you sick to your stomach. Your heart physically throbbed painfully inside your chest. Looking at the vodka, you decide against it and go looking for some water.

You wouldn’t have heard of it if you hadn’t had to walk past the door of your apartment. The vigorous pounding and a voice shouting that's muffled by the music. Your downstairs neighbor no doubt. Oh, you were so not in the right frame of mind to deal with this. The pounding force rattles your door and for a second you think it may just break off its hinges.

Jesus Christ is this person fucking insane?!

Your somewhat ‘war’ with them had been put on hiatus recently as you had spent a lot of time between Ochako’s and the boy’s apartment as its location was much closer to school. Also with everything going on with Katsuki, you had forgotten just how much of a raging asshole the dickbag downstairs was. But now you remember every little crappy thing they had done, the blender going off before five am, his constant complaints when you were up later than eight, oh and that fucking note! The audacity that they had to pull that crap... Fury fills your blood again as you stomp towards your door, finally ready to give them a piece of your mind. You don’t care if they were an old person like you had previously assumed, they were being an insensitive asshole! Can’t they hear you’re in pain? Sniffling, a burst of anger left your mouth as you yank the door open.

“Leave me the fuck alone you miserable-” what met your gaze stopped you in your sentence, cementing your feet to the ground.

No, this can’t be happening right now. The horror in your eyes stared back at a pair of red vermillion ones, as your next breath rushed out in a gasp. His bloodshot eyes previously filled with rage that rivalled yours quickly morph into shock.

You stare at the boy that broke your heart not even an hour ago. You look at Katsuki Bakugou and his beautiful face, and everything that happened today tears through you like a wave of blades. A pathetically broken noise comes out of your throat and you immediately slammed the door in the blonde's face.

Oh my god…

Your legs collapse beneath, you causing you to fall to the floor. Oh my god, he was your neighbor. This whole time, he had been downstairs. Katsuki had been the one to drive you fucking mad whilst also make you feel so weightless and happy. The shock causes your body to shake as sobs rip through you, no longer able to hold anything in.

No, no please don’t let him be here. He can’t be here.

And the previously cracking piece inside of you shatters.

❀ ❀ ❀

You’re not sure how long you stay there for, back against the door, weeping as if a limb has been severed from your body. The only indication of time moving on around you is through the ever-changing music seeping from your speakers. By the time your world somewhat comes back to focus, Kodaline is playing in the background.

There's a gentle thump on the door, and you, for a moment, ignore it. You don’t want to see anybody. As if hearing you, you feel the next tap right on your spine followed by a soft voice.

“Y/n…” You force yourself to stand up and look through the peephole of your front door, the music playing too loudly for you to determine who is on the other side. You brace yourself for the worst, not really though knowing what that is - but the sight that meets you is a welcomed one. Another broken sob rips out of your chest as you see a pair of heterochromatic eyes that you have known since you were a child. You sling open the door so fast, the slam of it hitting the opposite wall is felt through the floor. Without a second of hesitation and without a single word, you throw yourself on your best friend and let your sobs be muffled by his shirt.

“I’ve got you,” Shouto says, holding your head against his chest. Never before, have you been so glad to see them in your entire life. You’re not surprised at all by their arrival, however, because they knew you, just as you knew them.

You feel Todo walk you inside and sit on the couch, with you tucked up next to him in silence. The music is turned off and they don’t ask what happened, doesn’t demand anything from you, Todo just holds you as Izuku whizzes around your apartment like a man on a mission.

“He-he…” You try to say, making both boys stop to look at you. Your voice is hoarse from your crying and your throat burns at the attempt, but you need to get it off your chest. Todo’s serious gaze encourages you to find your voice again and between sobs, you manage to get it out. “He was my neighbor. Downstairs.” they look at each other before looking at you, a mix between anger, disbelief, and shock.

“You’re going to come and stay with us for a few days,” Is all Todo says in response, not leaving any room for discussion as you break down crying once again. Relief floods through you, both at having them here, but also for not having to be in the same building as Katsuki.

With haste, they gather what you need and you quickly hurry down the stairs, the boys glaring at the level below yours as if tossing up the idea of getting into a physical brawl. You know that had they known just who occupied the apartment below yours before arriving at your rescue, they would have made a quick pit-stop at apartment 104. Shouto opens the passenger door for you and quietly, you slip inside. You wipe your nose on your sweater sleeve and try to muffle your sniffles. Once the car is started and you’re buckled in, from his spot behind you, Izuku wraps his arms around your shoulders, hugging you to the chair. You lean back into your friend’s embrace as he kisses you on the head.

“You want some chocolate?” He asks quietly, and Todo actually snorts.

“Contrary to popular belief, chocolate doesn’t fix anything Izuku.”

“Really? Because I have proof that it does,” he sasses back, resting his head on your chair.

“I’m good for now, thanks Zuzu.” You look between your two friends and try your best to give them a sad smile. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Whatever you need, we’re here y/n.” Shouto says, and your lips wobble. God, they were so precious to you. Sensing your inner turmoil, Izuku squeezes you tighter and you chastely peck the arm across your chest in thanks. You don’t know what you would do without them, or where you would even be.

The rest of the trip is relatively quiet, only Zuzu’s humming as songs play on the radio fills the car, and you’re grateful for even that distraction. When you finally make it to their shared apartment, you open the door and there’s Ochako, pacing and looking so damn worried. Meeting her halfway, you let her pull you into her as the silent tears you can’t seem to stop, run down your cheeks.

“We’re watching movies,” she says, leading you into the lounge where you find three mattresses on the floor. You give them all a watery smile in thanks but turns into a broken attempt at a laugh as your eyes lock onto the three bags of KFC now in Shouto’s hands.

“You feed a small army with all that food.” You smile, wiping your nose.

“We’re basically the same thing.” Todo points out as you all sit down and get comfortable on the floor. With your friends surrounding you, you give them all another sad smile and try to wipe away the uncontrollable tears as they fall.

“I love you guys so much.” You sniffle. Pulling you into him, Todo wraps an arm around your shoulder, and Ochako hugs your waist.

“We love you too chickadee, more than you will ever know.” But, you think as you look over them and then at the Disney opening on the tv screen, you do know, and you love them just as much.

He stands outside the door of the apartment above his own - your door, staring at it with wide eyes. No fucking way were you his neighbor. He wasn’t a moron, or inept, he would have known that. Surely he had walked you home before?...no, you had been staying at Ochako’s a lot because it was closer to your work and classes… Your love for abba, your fucking sass, and annoying tendency to take no shit from even him that he adored.

God, it was so obvious. How did he not fucking know?

Turning down the stairs, he all but sprints back to his room, clenching his phone so tight in his hand it almost cracks the screen. Fuck he needs to talk to someone or hit something. Some divine intervention that could prevent his phone from certain death emerged through an incoming call. Without hesitation, Katsuki answers, knowing full well who’s on the other side and his mouth moves too fast for him to comprehend. Looks like it’s talking and not hitting something.

“She was my fucking neighbor Kirishima.” he blurts out, his ass falling onto his couch as he speaks. Leaning back and he looks up at the ceiling as if he could still see her broken face when she had answered the door and seen him. He was sure that the shock on his face mirrored hers, but then the pain that it turned into... Good! She should be feeling what I felt. His brain argues against the very words, but he doesn’t care.

Katsuki manages to catch a very confused reply from his friend and rubs the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

“She’s my upstairs neighbor.” He repeats, the situation finally daunting on him. The girl he had been dating for months was living above him, making his life hellish whilst doing the opposite when she was with him. Fuck my life.

“Fuck man,” Kirishima says distracted, and Katsuki can’t blame him. “I’m assuming you saw her or something then?” The redhead asks carefully. A growl rips out of Katsuki’s throat and he stands up, fisting a hand in his hair. He so wished that he hadn’t seen you. That someone else had opened that door, instead of your broken expression and bloodshot eyes. The way you had looked at him was as if he were something between a ghost and your worst nightmare.

“I wish I fucking hadn’t,” he admits.

“Bro, she obviously meant something to you so I’m not surprised that you’re hurting-”

“Well, she doesn’t anymore. That shit’s done and thank god for it.” He wants to be fucking livid at you but no matter the shitty things he says about you, all he can see is your pained face and the feeling dissolves into nothing, leaving only despair in its wake. The words actually hurt as he says it, and Kirishima sighs from the other side of the phone - as if he could hear the turmoil in his voice. But the redhead doesn’t mention it. Good, because there would be hell to pay if he had.

“I’m currently staring at a half-full bottle of scotch from work right now, and am feeling kinda pathetic about drinking myself. Want some?” Katsuki knows that his friend doesn’t want to fucking drink. He works as a personal trainer most mornings during the week, including Saturdays, so getting slammed on a Friday night was something he often opted out of. But for this situation, for what his friend was going through, he’d do it. Or at least would watch over Bakugou as he got roaring drunk.

“That is fucking pathetic shitty hair,” he replies, shaking his head at his friend’s antics. “Bring the fucking bottle or you’re not coming in.”

“I knew you’d think so. I’ve got spiced ribs too just sitting here, I’m going to bring them too.” Katsuki would have to be an idiot to believe his friend would have one of his favourite foods just hanging around, but he didn’t object to it. “You’re second favorite bro might also make an appearance. But we can decide that depending on how much he pisses me off in the car.” For a moment, Katsuki’s lips tick up, but quickly drop again as he hears the sound of a door closing coming from above him. You’re leaving.

Without realizing it, his hand has moved up to his chest where he gently rubs the skin above his heart.

“I don’t care, Kirishima. Just hurry the fuck up and get over here.” He can hear Denki in the background and chooses to ignore them both before with a final curse at his friends, he hangs up the phone. His feet drag him to the window of his apartment that looks over the car parking of your apartment complex, and it’s like the world has a vendetta against Katsuki Bakugou this past week. Because there you are, getting into a car as your friend with the half and half hair closes the door behind you. From this angle, he can see you clearly through the passenger side window, and he can see the tears running down your cheeks. He has an urge to run to you, one that he blatantly ignores because you don’t deserve it.

He’s better off without you.

Your green-haired, freckly friend wraps his arms around your shoulders - and then the car is gone. Katsuki turns his back on the window and walks towards the kitchen.

He’s better off without you. The whole thing was a fucking mistake. He doesn’t need anyone. His aspirations will take up everything he is, and he would much rather focus on that than you.

Anything otherwise isn’t even worth a fucking thought.

a/n: whew, that was a doozy. Sorry if its a bit wordy, I just had to get it all out. This will be the only written chapter of this series, so everything from here on out is back to the social media format. We’re so close to the end now its so scary. This smau is my baby and I love it lots so its really sad.

Tag list below. Wanna be tagged? shoot me an ask!

@alexismiszczak

@anastar-legion

@ambitchousaf

@a-timeheist

@bakubatty

@bikinibrattoms

@breaking-ur-kneecaps

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if your name has a strike it wouldn’t tag :(

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vampcubus · 4 years ago

Text

Crazy

Momotaro Fujiwara x Reader

A/N: Momo is my original character~ you can read more about him under #my OCs #momo #momotaro fujiwara tags on my blog ☺️💜 I’m thinking of making a part two eventually.

Song used is Crazy by KidneyThieves

Warnings: Angst, drinking/alcohol, hurt/comfort, slight unresolved angst, Momo being Momo.

Words: 1.4k+

. . .

You didn’t suspect anything was out of the ordinary at first, not perturbed by the booming music coming from Fujiwara’s dorm. Momo, you corrected yourself, remembering his distaste for his last name. So as if it were any other evening you passed his door to retire to your own room. That was until you smelt something most certainly out of the ordinary.

A mixture of salt and fruit loops wafted from underneath the door, undoubtedly momo’s scent, but tainted.

He was crying.

You knit your brows and pursed your lips, unsure of going in would be wise. Your lemur classmate had proven to be rather intolerant when it came to being offered help. Resigned, you turn away from his door as if to leave, only to stop again when the slightest whimper wiggles its way through the lyrics of the song.

It felt wrong to leave the poor thing to his misery, even if he ended up kicking you out, it smelled like he needed someone.

Doubting he’d hear you knock, you simply let yourself in. His dorm was pinker than you were expecting: rugs, curtains, and fuzzy pink feather boas hung from the exposed rafters. Makeup of all kinds littered his dresser. Band posters and haphazardly-placed Polaroids sticky-tacked to the walls in stark contrast to the explosion of pink.

It was very… Barbie.

Curled up in a tight ball on the bed, half-tangled in a fluffy hot pink duvet is Momo. It seems he hasn’t noticed you yet, continuing to sob into his knees. His striped tail was spiked and angular with stress. The smell of sea-salt and regret gets ever stronger as you approach the shaking boy, as you take in more of your surroundings you catch a few of the lyrics of the song playing.

Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely

I’m crazy, crazy for feeling so blue.

The fairy lights reflect off of something in the corner of your eye and your head flicks to the side to see a few empty bottles of… rum? Momotaro drinks?

I knew, you'd love me as long as you wanted

And someday, you'd leave me for somebody new

You could see he had an arm wrapped around his stomach, no doubt feeling the repercussions of drinking so heavily. A part of you wants to leave him there to deal with his own problems, it was his choice to drink. But again something stops you. He smelled so sad, and your quirk had yet to lie to you.

Worry, why do I let myself worry?

And I'm wondering, what in the world should I do?

You reach out and shut off the radio, the dark music halting, as well as Momo’s choked sobs. There’s a moment of processing, he’s frozen, before his body jumps into fight or flight mode and he leaps from the mattress into the rafters. He stares down at you with wide golden eyes, hair tousled, leaving both eyes on display as his expression changes from fright to confusion.

“What the hell are you doing in here?!” He hisses, tail angrily swishing from side to side, cheeks turning pink.

“I- uh…” you stumbled over your words, suddenly unsure what to say. You’d just been caught in someone else’s dorm snooping around. “You were- I smelt you crying and I- wanted to make sure you were okay.”

That’s right, you were the girl with the scent quirk. Something about smelling emotions, tracking and some shit. Something shifted in those golden eyes of his, something softer. But Momo’s defenses were still in full effect.

“Well, I’m fine. Now get out!” His voice cracks, and you notice. Because you’ve always noticed, you realize. Always noticed something broken in him, even when he paid you no mind, your eyes always strayed to him in class.

He was an untamable ball of energy and chaos, wreaking havoc wherever he went. Collectively hated by most of the class, it’s no wonder he has few friends. He refuses compassion, and few have the patience to spend their time chipping away at his walls. He bent over backwards for no one, begged no one, and changed for no one. Perhaps that’s what drew you to him. The fact that he was unapologetically himself no matter what anyone thought.

Still, it had to be lonely.

You’re brought back to the present when the rafters creak under Momo’s weight; he’s moving. Further away, you gather.

“You’ve been drinking, and crying. I don’t think that means you’re okay.” You gesture to the growing pile of rum bottles, the smell of alcohol still lingering on his shaking breaths. “I’m here for you, Momo.”

“Leave, just like everyone else does.” Momo slurs, finally dropping down from the rafters onto a shaggy zebra rug. His eyes have hardened again, this time with enough contempt to force a gasp from you. “Don’t pretend to care about me, don’t pretend you want anything to do with me just to satiate some sick sense of chivalry you have. I am fine, just the way I am, and nothing you say can change me.”

His words are like venom, eyes piercing and cold, his clawed hand curls around the neck of a new bottle and flicks off the cork.

You step forward, gripping the bottle before he can touch the lip of it to his mouth and yank it from his dark hand. It slips from your hand but doesn't shatter, instead pouring out onto the polished wooden floorboards. Momo hisses harshly, teeth bared as he prepares to tear you a new one for being wasteful but it’s cut short when your lips meet his. It’s far from gentle, full of clicking teeth, unpracticed and raw. And yet it steals the air from his lungs, weakens his knees as your hands hold his face.

Momotaro moans brokenly against your forceful lips, hands tugging and pulling, clinging to whatever of you he could reach.

You don’t realize why until he finally gets a good grip on your forearms and yanks you forwards, sending you both tumbling onto his bed. You situate yourself on top of him, wary not to put too much of your weight upon him as he yanks you back down to his lips. Making out with your classmate had not been your plan going into this, but the way he was clinging to you, chasing your lips every time you parted, whimpering as your fingers tangled in his curls had you leaning in for more and more of him. If he didn’t want to talk, you could comfort him this way for now.

When you finally pull away for breath, you’re both wheezing for oxygen, having thrown away your need to breathe in favor of sharing spit.

You roll onto your side and pull him to your chest, allowing him to wrap himself around you, his warm forehead pressed to your collarbone. Momo smells heavily of fruity cereal and expensive perfume, something you’re learning to appreciate as he relaxes in your arms, ears swiveling and twitching at every sound you make.

He doesn’t know what to say. The last thing he had expected to happen when he told you to leave was to be kissed, and now held like a child after a meltdown. He was embarrassed, confused, and now very aroused.

“What’s your goal here, L/N?” Momo rasps, cringing at the burning kickback of the rum in his throat.

“I’m sorry?” You blinked, caught off guard.

His throat contracted. He hoped to god he wouldn’t throw up. The churning in his stomach was making him nervous.

“Are you here to fuck me or patronize me?” Momo asks, focusing on calming his belly. He wasn’t a lightweight, but he’d had a lot to drink and he wasn’t sure if his teen body was going to hold it in.

His bluntness lights a fire behind your cheeks and you stutter, your mouth going dry. Momotaro certainly didn’t beat around the bush, and you don’t know if you’re thankful or embarrassed by it. You steel your nerves, pressing the gentlest of kisses to his forehead before burning your nose in his hair.

“Neither; you’re drunk as hell and having a breakdown. I’m here to support you, and watch you in case you hurt yourself.”

“Lame.” Momotaro huffs, squirming away from you and turning his back on you, clearly annoyed. But he doesn’t protest when you shift closer and spoon him in your arms. “And here I thought you might be fun. But you’re boring, just like everyone else in this shithole.”

#momotaro fujiwara #momotaro fujiwara x reader #momo x reader #momotaro x reader #oc x reader #bnha oc x reader #mha oc x reader #angst #tw: drinking #my ocs #oc fanfiction #bnha #mha #lemur quirk

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shypitaya · 5 years ago

Text

The Hidden Light

So... It's something totally random. I just really like the idea that Branch is a Ballad Troll and @sushiranger art (look at this masterpiece) makes me want to write this little one-shot. I hope it's not as cringe for Ya as for me xd enjoy

Ao3 here

_________________

Hot days had one huge disadvantage, which made them a bit less blissful - frosty nights. Nature was pretty weird at this point - these two opportunities liked each other a lot, they were oddly inseparable like genuine lovers. Where was the hot day, there always went icy night. It was like a rule. Poppy hated rules. She wished she could change it, just like the law. She was queen after all.

But then, she had to stand up to close this stupid window, which she had opened before the sleep, cause her bedroom had been stuffy due to the day had been diabolically hot! Poppy covered herself tightly with a violet blanket and sucked it up. "You can do this, girl!" she whispered to herself, trying to get the courage up "You can do this..."

Pink feet went out from a safe blanket's security and slowly started moving toward the floor. Little toes recoiled slightly when they felt the cold ground. They hesitated to touch it again, but Poppy was a firm queen - she ordered them to finally face the floor with all of its frigidness. She forced her head to leave a soft and warm pillow and get up to sit straight on her bed. She threw sinister sight to the window on the other side of her room and groaned out like a grumpy grey troll.

Poppy giggled when she realized it. Well, when the most optimistic troll in the village, Queen of the every existed party, Miss Happiness in the flesh, started acting like this grey grump from the wood, it meant the situation was serious. This thought amused Poppy so much, so she started pretending being Branch, making her face as flown as she could. She was branking grotesquely around the room and speaking:

- The window is open! It was a bergen who opened it! I'm sure it was a bergen! I told ya bergens are coming! But you never listen to me, Poppy! - She lifted her hand, losing in the playing. - You NEVER listen to me!

She couldn't help but giggle. She yawned so loud and then decided to finally close the window. She walked to it and held the frame to push it, but then she heard something. She moved her ears around to catch the sound. It was soft and calming, but she couldn't recognize what it would be. Poppy leaned out of the window and frozen, listening.

It was a melody. The sweet tune of strings came floating through the forest and the village. It was really quiet but hearable. Someone played in the woods, far far away. It was so magical, so beautiful, so hypnotizing. Poppy was known with her curiosity, she needed to know who was the mystery musician. She put her blanket back on the bed and took her royal carpet with a hood. That was all she needed to be ready for walking through the forest in the middle of the coldest night of that summer. Queen was much more demure than anyone could expect. But only when she really wanted to.

Poppy walked out of her pod, covering tightly with her carpet. It wasn’t that bad actually. The cold outside made her trembling only slightly. She could hold a slightly trembling. It wasn’t big deal.She jumped of the Trolls’ Tree and then she noticed some voice joined to the guitar music. She stopped to hear the words:

Love writes a letter and sends it to Hate "My vacation's ending, I'm coming home late The weather was fine and the ocean was great And I can't wait to see you again"

Poppy was charmed by the song. It wasn't just a beautiful sound of the instrument, but also the lyrics were calm and full of melancholy. The melody just overflowed her with a wave of magical feelings she hadn't known before. It was sad, hope, longing, faith, and insecurity at the same time!

But the most stunning was the voice. What a voice! So clear, so resonant, so smooth, so warm and pleasant. It wrung her little pink heart, it hypnotized her. Who was this angel singing so wonderful? Poppy must have known.

She started walking toward deep, dark woods without any hesitation. She was just following this amazing voice like under the curse, listening intently that mystery words:

Hate reads the letter and throws it away "No one here cares if you go or you stay I barely even noticed that you were away I'll see you or I won't, whatever"

The deeper she went into the forest, the clearer she could hear the lyrics. It was like singing poetry, she didn't know something like that existed. But she loved it.

Love sings a song as she sails through the sky The water looks bluer through her pretty eyes And everyone knows it whenever she flies And also when she comes down

Hate keeps his head up and walks through these streets Every stranger and drifter he greets And shakes hands with every loner he meets With a serious look on his face

Poppy was already so far from her pod, so far even from the village. She started to worry. Even if the song was louder with every step, she wasn't sure she could come back by herself. But the melody still hypnotized her, she was then so desperate to see the author of it. She couldn't just stop walking. Not when the voice was so loud and clear right then. She started to walk slower, not wanting to disturb a singer.

Love arrives safely with suitcase in tow Carrying with her the good things we know A reason to live and a reason to grow To trust and to hold and to care

Hate sits alone on the hood of his car Without much regard to the moon or the stars Lazily killing the last of a jar Of the strongest stuff you can drink

The pink troll was almost there. She saw a slight blue glow behind bushes' leaves. She took them away as carefully and quiet as it was possible. And then she saw him.

He simply sat on a log, playing modest guitar like it was the most natural activity in the world. And it made him look even more otherworldly. His hair, gently waving with the wind, was shining royal blue. His skin was glowing bright and azure, which made it look soft. And his half-opened eyes... They were magically sparkling in the most beautiful shade of blue.

Poppy blinked twice. She couldn't believe her eyes. "Is that Branch?" she asked herself in thoughts, "Or the god of the woods? Is Branch the god of the woods? Isn't he grey? Hasn't he told everyone he doesn't sing? Why is he glowing so magical? Is he always that handsome? Why haven't I noticed it before? And... Why is he hiding he can sing so wonderfully?" She couldn't take her eyes off the troll who a few moments ago she thought was grumpy, grey, and mean. She knew Branch as an egocentric survivalist with a heart of stone, who couldn't feel anything but anger and apathy. But the man she was staring with sincere impress sang with passion, with many different, difficult emotions. He was plucking the delicate strings of the guitar so gently and smoothly. His big strong hand held the slender neck so carefully, his finger nimbly pressed different chords. He looked like he was born to sing and play guitar, she would never say this sensitive soul could hurt anyone or anything.

Poppy was completely lost in the song and the singer, she forgot about the whole world gazing as Branch went on singing:

Love takes a taxi, a young man drives As soon he sees her hope fills his eyes But tears follow after at the end of the ride Because he might never see her again

Hate gets home lucky to still be alive He screams over the sidewalk and into the drive The clock in the kitchen says 2:55 And the clock in the kitchen is slow

Love has been waiting patient and kind Just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign That the one that she cares for who's out of his mind Will make it back safe to her arms

Hate stumbles forward and leans in the door Weary head hung down, eyes to the floor He says, "Love, I'm sorry, " and she says, "What for? I'm yours and that's it, whatever I should not have been gone for so long I'm yours and that's it, forever Your mine and that's it, forever"

When Poppy realized the song was about to end, she woke up and started worrying. "What if he gets angry I was spying him?" she thought, "And I will never hear him and see him like that again?" For some reason thought about not meeting Branch again made Poppy sigh sadly. Fearing that he could notice her and avoid to sing anymore, Queen ordered herself to get back home. She stepped back and felt a stick under her feet. But until she could react at the time, the sound of the snap echoed in the woods. Holy hair.

Immediately Poppy felt something grabbed her legs and sharply lifted her up. Her hood fell on her head, so she couldn't see anything. But she was painfully sure, she hanged upside down.

- Who are you?! - Poppy heard firm yelling. - And why are you spying me?!

She couldn't help but felt as her face turned red. It was also a bit embarrassing when she realized that this soft and warm thing holding her cold legs was Branch's hair. She took her hood away from her eyes only to see the bottom of the guitar ready to hit her if she did some suspicious move. She grabbed hood with both of her hands to uncover her head and show her face.

- It's me... - Poppy said shyly, smiling dorkly. - I'm... I'm sorry for disturbing you, I just...

- Poppy? - The guitar got down and then her eyes met magically sparkling blue Branch's eyes, opened widely in shock. - Wha-what are you doing here!

Branch got her down really gently, but she felt dizzy when her foot touched the ground and she stood straight.

- Do you know how far from the village you are? - The glowing troll grabbed carefully her arms helping her to keep her balance. - And it's so cold! You can get sick immediately!

Poppy shook her head to get the right perspective. She started blinking. When she was almost cooled off after being thrown in the air upside down, she felt warmth embracing her arms and back. The pleasant scent of the forest hit her nose. And she had to say she really liked this smell. It made her feel safe for some reason. She looked down to see leaves capote on her shoulder. She even didn't notice Branch had it before.

- Thank you - Poppy shew him the sweetest smile she could make. Branch blinked twice and looked away. She had never seen him like that, it was like she met brand new Branch or she had never known Branch at all before. - So... Sorry for disturbing you one again, but...

- You can’t say you just got lost in the woods - He interrupted her. After wave of worrying about the queen he started coming back to his old, grey atitute. - You just can’t go that far from the village because you were sleep-walking!

- No! I’m just... I heard the song and I just... I just had to know who sing it! And then I saw you... - She pointed at him, not knowing where she should start. - You... You... You're glowing!

- I know... - Branch tried to not look at her. He just took his guitar from the ground, frowning like he used to do. - Weird, right?

- It's amazing! - Poppy beamed. - You look gorgeous and stunning and... - She blushed a bit. - Well, and handsome.

Branch froze just staring at her with a guitar in both hands.

- Also, I didn't know you can sing - Poppy went on, moved a bit toward him. - I've never heard anything as beautiful as your song. - She got lost in the memory of his vocal for a few seconds. And then she asked dreamily: - What was that? I mean, I truly haven't heard music like that before.

She looked into his sky-blue eyes and noticed he was gazing at her in the way that made her heartbeat a bit faster. Branch blinked and turned his sight away, taking a deep breath to clear his thoughts.

- Well, that was a ballad - He mumbled shyly, starting rubbing his neck. - It's kinda... Complicated. But you're right it's not like pop music. It's a bit... Different - He said the last word with a bit effort.

- Is that... Is that why you isolated from the village? - Poppy couldn't stop her curiosity. - You're... A Ballad Troll?

Branch clicked his tongue.

- Yeah... It's one of the main reasons...

He added after a while:

- But please, don’t tell anybody.

Poppy eyeballed him slowly and narrowly. She really wanted to ask about these other reasons, but she was sure it would be a one question too far. It was after all really impressing that Branch let her know about him that much. Poppy started to respect him much more than she had ever thought she would.

- I promice - She grinned at him encouraging. - But I also think you don’t have to hide it. Your true colors... Shine so beautiful.

Branch looked into her eyes and willy-nilly his lips started lifted up, slowly forming a wide, warm smile. Pink troll never saw anything as breathtaking as his face right then. And then he whispered softly:

- But as beautiful and bright as your smile.

And believe or not, Poppy would kill for that man after those words. It wasn't like she wasn’t complimented before. No, she had had many of adorers, but Branch? He won her heart with just a smile, but what a smile that was! She had never blushed so furiously. And it was only because of his smile! His warm, tender smile and his lovely blue eyes. And his softy voice. And he was so handsome, oh the hair! Poppy's mind just blew.

Branch chuckled, seeing Queen Poppy's face. It made her smile dorkly and put shyly the strand of her hair away.

- Okay, but you have to know that my colors are visible only in the darkness - The wide smile didn't leave his lips when his sight was calmly resting on her. He shrugged his shoulders. - But I like darkness. It's my natural habitat. That's why I hate you so much, sunny Pop Trolls.

Poppy collapsed a giggle. She couldn't even describe how much she loved this new version of Branch. He impressed her more and more with every minute she saw him that night.

- Well, but you can sing during the day, can't you? - She gave him a hopeful sight. The glowing troll signed.

- Ballads are not as happy and loud as you usually sing... They are more sad and...

- But I like it! - Poppy beamed, surprising Branch. - It is sad, but it's also... - She took a deep breath, as she thought back to the sound of the ballad. -.... Delightful. Heart-tugging. Touching. Romantic...

Pink troll covered herself tighter with leaves capote and bite her lips with excitement.

- Can you please sing one more ballad for me? - She asked as sweetly as she could. It was the first time she saw Branch blushing.

- Well... - He held his guitar closer to his chest and then cleared his throat. - Actually... I... I have one ballad... About you...

- You had a ballad about me?! - Poppy couldn’t hold her excitement. She felt like a child finding gifts under the Christmas tree. It amused Branch so he smiled at her, adding quietly:

- Well, not only one...

Poppy gasped.

- I wanna hear all of them! - She screamed.

- All of them??

- All of them right here right now! - The queen ordered and sat down in front of Ballad Troll, waiting for songs. Branch stood above her with widely opened eyes as like something hit his face.

- Are you sure you wanna hear them? - Blue troll asked, blushing a bit.

- Yes - She said without any hesitation and smiled lovely. She couldn’t stop thinking how cute Branch was when he blushed. Her sweet smile forced him to smile back.

- Okay, but you wake up the ballad monster on your own responsibility - He said finally, sitting down with his guitar.

- I feel like I’m fully aware of consequences. - Poppy smiled even cuter which made him stop for a sec and stare, blushing slightly. But then he blinked and looked down at his guitar. He cleared his throat once again, until he plucked the strings and started singing:

I know your favorite song I hear it everyday Whoever made your smile Made it to get in my way

His lips formed into a little tender smile with those words. Poppy gazed at his, feeling that her chicks were warm and her heart beated faster. The feeling that he sang from his heart made her sigh.

And every time you laugh You make that little sound It's just the hardest thing To...

Branch got his head up, looking at her uncertainly.

To... Emm...

And then he hit the strings and started playing different melody. He smirked widely, looking into her eyes.

Oh, your eyes, your eyes Make the stars look like they're not shinin' Your hair, your hair Falls perfectly without your trying You're so beautiful and I'd tell you everyday

He sent her a little smile once again, but this time Poppy couldn’t hold it anymore. She looked away shyly, smiling dorkly. She put one strand behind her ear. And Branch went on singing, confident and honest:

When I see your face There's not a thing that I would change 'Cause you're amazing Just the way you are And when you smile The whole world stops and stares for a while 'Cause girl you're amazing Just the way you are

She couldn’t think anymore. She just sat and got lost into his lovely voice. And Branch changed smoothly melody once again.

What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in, and you kicking me out You've got my head spinning, No kidding, I can't pin you down

What's going on in that beautiful mind I'm on your magical mystery ride And I'm so dizzy, Don't know what hit me,But I'll be alright

How anyone could be that poetic and romantic? Those lyrics were more one more beautiful, deep, singing with passion. Poppy found herself staring into his face, no matter if he was looked at her or at his guitar. His lips were moving so softly as he sang his confession. She started wonder. How long had he felt like this? Lonely, forlorn and misunderstood with his love to the woman who was out of his touch. Alone with being different, singing sad ballads in the deepest darkness of the forgotten forest. Living on his own in the wild, fearing Bergens could attack the village in every minute. Well, maybe the last thing was a bit unreasonable, or maybe Branch experienced something much more traumatizing than others during escaping from Bergentown years ago.

It all made sense then. Maybe Branch wasn’t angry that whole time. Maybe he was frighten and miserable.

My head's under water But I'm breathing fine You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I'll give my all to you

With that words, Branch slowly finished the song. He gave her a sad sight, not smiling that time. He was just gazing Poppy in silence, when she tried to clear her thought. She really wanting to apologize for not understanding him whole this time and threading him with nothing but dislike and disgust, but it would sound just odd, especially after those lovely ballads he sang to her.

- I’m sorry, if that was too far... - Branch looked down, biting his lips.

- No! No no no no, absolutely not - Poppy said, sitting closer to him. She could feel then his woods scent, which made her smile. - I-I just... I have no words to describe... How beautiful it was... I... - She chuckled nervously, couldn’t find words. She just sighed, a bit smiling, a bit blushing. And then... She gave him a sweet, little peck on his cheek. She looked away shyly, putting her strand behind ear once again, and whispered softly: - Thank you, Branch...

After a few seconds the pink troll decided to finally look up at the blue troll. She rested her eyes one him and then she saw his eyes. They were... full of happiness. They were sparkling so happy, when Branch gazed at her with unconcealed bliss on his face. He was smiling widely, touching slightly his cheek. he couldn’t turn his eyes off her. And she couldn’t stop enjoying his being happy.

Poppy had never felt more happy and never smiled wider. She started giggling softly. And then this one little strand of her hair she had tried to put on its place whole this night just fell on her face. She looked at it with annoyance. It just destroyed this presious moment without any reason. But then she heard a chuckle. Blue, male hand took it gently from her face and put the strand behind her ear. Branch touched her cheek tenderly, but only slightly, just like he wanted to feel her freckles under his fingers, and then he moved away. Poppy blinked twice and smiled at him sweetly.

- Can I meet you tomorrow? - Branch asked hopefully.

- Should I bring my own guitar? - Queen smirked playfully.

- Of course - He said. - Maybe this time you will sing. I... I really like your voice.

Poppy sighed happily. He was much more than she could ever dream. She felt immediately that her mouth forced her to yawn so loud. She rubbed her eyes, suddenly felt really tired.

- Get up - Branch stood up and offered her his hand. - I bring you home

__________________________________________________

I kinda don’t have idea how i should end it. There’s a list with links of songs in this one-shot in the case you don’t know them (im pretty sure you do)

Ballad of Love and Hate

Perfect for me (ya know this one, but we both know you’ll click the link to listen it once again)

Just the way you are

All of me

#ballad trolls #branch x poppy #Branch #poppy x branch #just branch #queen poppy #Poppy #trolls #trolls world tour #ballad branch

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jaskiersbeloved · 5 years ago

Text

if you can hold me like you used to (cause I never hated myself more)

summary: Virgil has a nightmare. But it isn’t his.

authors note: I really wasn't planning on the second part, but you guys convinced me! I hope I've managed to meet your expectations! The title is a bit changed lyrics from cavetown's song "i promise, i'm trying"

tag list: @icequeenoriginal, @astrozei, @myspatialspace, @coconut-cluster

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He felt like he was in the void. Void filled with sharp thornes of the roses, that he so loved. But the buds of the flowers where nowhere to be seen. Just the thornes, that ripped through his white robes, got caught in his hair, made his hands bleed.

The sword seath was empty, so he couldn't cut his way through.

He needed something to protect himself. An armour. A shield. Anything. But all he got were his own bare hands, that the thornes would ruthlessly cut through, leaving the bloody scratches on them.

But that wasn't the worst.

Though he wished it could be silent, eveytime a thorn has cut his skin, the wind would softly blow and whisper in his ear.

The voices would be different, but the message would still be the same.

That would be an amazing prank.

Cut.

Because Roman would make ya sick.

Cut.

I wouldn't know who the evil twin is.

Cut.

Tears have been falling from his face, while he was willing the voices to leave him alone.

But deep down he knew they were right.

He stopped abruptly, looking helplessly at his bloody hands. The voices were louder now.

I am not feeling any love OR misery!

He scoffed, hearing his own voice.

Back then he thought he would at least keep it in check. Or that maybe someone would react. But well. No-one did. So maybe he hid it well or maybe...

The thornes around him grew. They started to inch closer to him, as if fed by his own selfhatred.

How pathetic, he couldn't help but think. And yet, he didn't react.

He felt tired. Exhausted even.

Your big admission is dwarfed by your gargantuan failures.

Failure. That's what he is.

The thornes were now at his legs, slowly winding around them.

It hurt. He knew it hurt but he felt numb to it.

Let's talk about something we're both familiar with, Roman. Mistakes.

He sobbbed. The tears were falling to the ground.

So many mistakes he has made.

Maybe that's why they didn't need him?

The throny vices encircled him higher and higher, creating a sharp cocoon around him. The thorns were piercing him, little by little. But it didn't matter. Nobody would led him a helping hand right now. He has hurt too many to be even worthy of that.

So he let the vice grow. Maybe like that he'll finally rest. Maybe like that he finally won't hurt anyone.

The vices grew.

Virgil woke up with a start. He was breathing hard, so hard that it took him a few precious seconds to calm down and realize where he was and what has actually happened.

This wasn't his dream. That he was sure of. And he knew, who dreamed about it and has woken up as well. He could practically fell his anxiety through the door.

Virgil sighed.

Roman hasn't left his room since the last video. He allowed almost nobody to enter. The only person who could was Virgil, for what reason, he wasn't sure. Maybe because he was the first one to reach out to Roman after he sunk out?

But the creative side wasn't the only one who preferred staying in the room in the past few days. If Virgil were to be honest, he would say, that almost every side opted to not leave. Everyone avoided each other like the plague.

On the few rare occasions on which Virgil noticed any of them, they looked awful. Logan seemed tired. Patton had constant red rings around his eyes, probably from crying and he were always chewing on his lips. Virgil haven't seen either Janus or Remus, but he felt their anxiety as well.

All in all, everyone was a mess.

He lifted his covers and left the bed.

The nightmare worried him.

When a side was particularly anxious, Virgil could feel it. But when the anxiety was so hard that it caused the given side to have nightmares, it sometimes would manifest itself in Virgil's dreams.

That's exactly what happened now. And Virgil didn't like what he saw. Not even a little bit.

Quietly he opened the door to his room and stepped into the hallway.

He anxiously ran a hand through his hair, thinking.

Promise me...

Roman still didn't promise. And in the nightmare he had actually given up. And Virgil just... Had to check.

So he mustered whatever courage he had and walked straight to Roman's room.

Walking there, he couldn't help but notice how the hallway, and the Mind Palace itself, have changed.

Before the video it was warm, bright and welcoming, giving the familish, safety vibes, that Roman and Patton represented. After it , it looked more gloomy, cold and unwelcoming. Virgil couldn't help but wonder if that was because the two sides were so down recently.

Stopping in front of the door, he took in a big breath. His anxiety spiked.

What if Roman wouldn't want to talk with him? What if he wouldn't open the door? What if...

He has to try. For Roman's sake.

So he rose his hand and gently knocked.

The door flew open almost immediately, startling Virgil. But what it reviled, made his heart clench.

Roman were lying on the bed, curled in himself, just like he did, when he first came to check on him. His hands were in his hair, gripping it so hard that Virgil actually worried he'd rip them off. No sound escaped the side. The only thing that gave him away were his shaking shoulders.

"So you saw, huh?" he heard Roman's murmer. The side didn't even look at him. He just started blankly into the distance.

Virgil stepped into the room and quietly closed the door.

"Yeah" he said. Then after a moment he asked "Can I get closer?"

Roman shrugged.

"Sure. It's not like it matters anyways."

The bitterness in his voice caused the cleanch in Virgil's heart to grow stronger. He has never seen Roman in that state.

He sat at the edge of the bed.

He noticed the sash, that Roman used to wear, on the floor. Virgil furrowed his brows. The vibrant red was gone, replaced by a particulatly pale shade of pink. So pale, that it was almost white.

Virgil pressed his lips, trying to decide what to do.

While he himself wasn't a very touchy person, he knew Roman was. The creative side often needed to be touched to feel better. And though Virgil usually felt uncomfortable with that, he was willing to put his own feelings aside for Roman.

So he lifted his hand and started to rub comforting circles on Roman's back. It seemed to help a little, as the side's deathly grip on his hair eased up.

"How much have you seen?" Roman whispered, while still not looking at him. Virgil sighed. There's no point in lying now.

"I'm afraid that all of it" he admitted. Roman absentmindedly nodded his head.

"I see" he muttered. He let go of his hair to press them to his heart. "And what do you think about it?" he asked.

That I'm really worried about you, Virgil thought, but didn't dare to say this aloud. Roman was too deep into self-hatred right now. He'd take it as he was hurting Virgil because he dreamed about it and most likely use it to convince himself how bad of a person he was.

So Virgil just moved his hand up to the nape of Roman's head and started to comb through his hair.

"That you don't feel so good" he said, mentally cringing at how lame this had sound. Roman chuckled, but there was no humour behind it.

"You think?" he scoffed, with an edge in his voice. Virgil only pressed his lips.

For a moment there was only silence around the two of them. Finally Roman spoke up.

"I'm so tired, Virgil."

"I know" he said sadly.

"And you know... I just... Want to disappear. To finally rest."

Hearing that, Virgil tensed.

How did you duck out?

Promise me...

The echoes of their past conversation rang in his ears.

"Ro," he started, forcing himself to sound calmly. "you know you can't do it."

"And why not, Virgil!?" Roman suddenly snapped sitting up and finally turning to him.

Virgil muffled a gasp that almost escaped him when he saw Roman's face.

Skin pale, red-rimmed eyes and bags under them so dark, that they could rival his own.

"Why not!? I HAVE a replacement, you know! I have a twin, who would HAPPILY take my place! I am expendable! A failure! The one that makes a mistake after mistake and simply cannot seem to learn from them!"

Angry tears started to fall down from Roman's face as he screamed. He hid his face in his hands, making a strangled sound.

"You're not expandable" said Virgil, feeling his heart breaking a little, seeing his... His friend so devastated. "Nor are you replaceable."

Roman scoffed.

"Oh really?" he said bitterly. "How so? Because my ideas are flawless? Or maybe because my opinions are valued? So much that everyone would listen to them and actually take into consideration, huh?"

"Because you're you!" Virgil yelled back, shocking Roman into silence. The creative side dropped his hands, looking at him, startled. Virgil sighed.

"Roman" he began slowly, thinking about the next words he should use.

This was his moment to convince Roman to calm down and to start regaining his confidence. And Virgil will be damned if he fucks it up.

He looked Roman straight in the eyes and has put one hand over his heart.

"Trust me, when I tell you this. You are not expendable. Nor you are replaceable. You are Thomas' creativity. His passion. You influence his happiness. It's you who drag him into the stage. Who makes him believe in himself. It's you who caused him to create his vines and his YouTube videos, against my judgment." He smiled softly at the memory of this, before continuing. " It's you who helps to create drafts for the episodes, who comes up with the themes. Who pushes Thomas through every audition, who comes up with alternative ways to his ideas. That cannot be replaced, Ro."

Roman was shaking. Virgil could only hope it was because of emotions. And those good ones.

Suddenly a phrase from the dream rang in his ears.

Lend him a helping hand.

With one hand still pressed to his chest, he extended his other one torward Roman in an offering gesture.

"If... If you feel like you want to disappear, please, come to me, Ro. I can help. You deserve the help, okay? It doesn't make you weak or stupid. It's actually very smart and shows your strength. That you know that there's something wrong and that..." he stopped, seeing as Roman tried to avert his gaze. He couldn't let that happen.

Virgil let go of his chest in favour of gently putting two fingers under Roman's chin to turn his head in his direction. He smiled weakly, seeing the side's teary eyes. He used his thumb to gently wipe the ones that escaped and continued. "...and that you are brave enough to fight. Smart enough to ask for help, when you see there's something wrong going on with you. It doesn't make you a failure. Never ever that. It makes you a victor. Because it's a victory against self-hatred, Ro. A small one, but it's still a victory. And when you decide to go to fight with that, and trust me, it's going to be a long war, you're not going to be alone."

He stopped thinking back to the dream.

He needed something to protect himself. An armour. A shield.

"I will be your shield, Roman" he said and Roman actually gasped. He started to shake his head, but Virgil pressed on "Because you deserve one."

"But... I have hurt you in the past! So how can you..."

At that Virgil has actually smiled.

"Because, and listen to this carefully, Romano, you regretted it and you made a conscious effort to improve. I told you earlier, I have noticed the effort that you try to dial down your insults and they are more playful, than anything else now. And if you could do that then, you still can do that now. You are a good person, Roman. A good person, who, yes, has made some mistakes but is able to recognize them, apologize and is willing to improve. And that's what makes you different from Remus. That son of a..."

"Language" Roman muttered weakly. Virgil playfully rolled his eyes.

"That... Side never even apologised to you for smacking you with a mace from all of things. And honestly I cannot imagine Remus apologizing to anyone. Plus imagine how the Imagination would look like if Remus took the wheel."

Roman immediately shuddered at the thought, which made Virgil's lips quirk up. He was on the right path. So when Roman shook his head, trying to say something, Virgil didn't let him.

"And I know that you are confused because of the last video. Yes, Patton can be wrong, but that doesn't make him wrong about everything. And you have the qualities of the prince, Ro. You are good. You are kind. Just. Strong. Brave. And above all, you are loved. We all miss you."

During the conversation, Virgil inched a bit closer to Roman, and finally they were touching by their foreheads, which made both of the sides blush a bit because of the intimacy of the gesture.

The last sentences, Virgil whispered.

"All of us. Absolutely every single one. Patton worries about you so much. Logan as well, and yes I am sure of that, because he was the one who informed me first. Talk to them if you don't believe me. I assure you, they will agree with me." He took a shuddering breath. Now or never. "So, Roman... Take my hand. And I'll help you. I promise" he finished and held his breath.

For a long, scary moment Roman was just staring at him, teary eyed. His breathing grew quicker. But as Virgil was about to accept his defeat, suddenly one of Roman's hands shot up and grasped his extended one. The creative side used it as a leverage to pull Virgil closer and he hid his face in the crook of his neck.

"Please" he whined with a broken voicr, scooting himself closer to the anxious side. "Please, help me."

At that Virgil started to sob as well. He used is unoccupied hand to encircle them in a hug and enterwinded their fingers with the one that Roman held in his grip. He hid his face in Roman's hair and sighed.

He won this battle. He actually did it.

"I promise" he whispered. "I promise, I will."

And even though Roman still didn't promise him that he won't duck out, Virgil felt somewhat calmer. Because now...

Now there was some hope.

On the floor, the sash gained colours.

#it might be a bit ooc #i'm sorry for that :/#roman sanders #virgil sanders #prinxiety #sanders sides #sanders side fic #sanders sides spoilers #ts spoilers #sonia tries to write

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naptoons · 5 years ago

Text

Story Of Us-Joel Pimentel

Warnings: sexual content, alcohol reference, mild language.

Theme: Smut

A/N: this was requested by @cncogirl18 , I hope this is good enough for you and I hope it isn’t cringe asf cause I’m lowkey bad at writing imagines. And it’s first pov, just for you bby. And also google translated Spanish, it ain’t my first language but I’m learning slowly. I didn’t proofread either I kinda just typed it all in one go so I apologize for any errors🥺

20 years old I’ve turned. The age requirement that considers you an adult, and also the requirement that calls for experiences, drunken memories and maybe a little bit of hazy truth. And I just knew it was going to be crazy tonight. Cnco just finished their tour, Richard’s daughter was with her mom. I just knew that whatever happened tonight. I’m going to love it but hate it. Laying in your bed I waited for Chris to text me about the plan. I’m always close to Chris rather than all of the other members too the point that they thought we were dating.

Everytime the topic came up, the both of us just squelch in disgust,ultimately feeling so sick to my stomach that they could even think that. He was more like a brother to me, all of them were. Except Joel. Joel was more than a brother in my eyes. Yes very cliché but I couldn’t defeat silence as my heart beats whenever he was around. I couldn’t help but feel the butterflies build in my stomach. It’s been like that for a while, but the courage could never spill out, liquid courage is something different. I almost did once, if it wasn’t for Chris i could’ve ruined everything.

My phone buzzed interrupting my thoughts, it was Chris, sliding to answer I put the phone in speaker. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUTA!!!” He yells, just as i expected that’s why i put it speaker.

“Thank you puto, so what’s the plan?” I ask

“Duh, we’re getting you hammered for the first time, and not wine this time” Chris Jones

“Ha ha, that was one time” i roll your eyes, getting off the bed I walk towards the closet deciding on what outfit I’ll be wearing “so we’re going to a lounge or something?”

“I’m not telling you shit, sólo espera y mira” Chris laughs, knowing i won’t get anywhere with him I just nod my head and reply with an okay. “Coming to pick you up in thirty”

“bueno” I reply, then hanging up the phone, I m see a leather skirt and a red graphic crop top you bought two weeks ago. Smiling i grabbed it from your closet, laying it on the bed, sitting down on the floor i dictate which shows you want. Looking at my strappy black heels,I smile throwing them at the foot of my bed.

After my shower, I get dressed looking in the mirror at yourself I decided to change to something comfortable, so i switched your heels for some black platform ankle boots. Spraying favorite perfume on my phone rings. Already knowing who it is i don’t answer i just grab it along with my wallet. Swinging the door open you see Chris’s car. Locking the door to my apartment you race over to the passenger side.

“Who you trying to look good for?” Chris comments, while I strap yourself in with the seatbelt

“Cállate” i reply, on the way to wherever you guys were going, i controlled the music and he no say in it.

Cause it was my birthday.

Arriving at the club, Chris looks for a parking space, seeing as Richard was already here with The rest of the boys. Parking right next to their car I can hear Richard calling my name. “Fucking psycho” i mumbled. Getting out the car Richard raises his arms up bringing me into a tight hug.

“Happy birthday mami!!” Richard kisses the top of my head, smiling I hug him back “thank you rich” I pull out of his chest greeting the rest of the guys. When it was my turn to greet Joel. It seemed as if my brain went into tv static. But you pushed through it.

“Hey” shakily i approach him, Joel smiles sheepishly pulling me into a hug “hey happy birthday princesa” his voice melts into my heart, those infamous goosebumps traveling up my arm.

“thank you” i awkwardly mumble in his shirt. His hand slowly leaving my waist “I hope you don’t mind I bought more of my friends and Emilia along”

Softly I bite my lower lip softly at the name, i couldn’t deny it they were really great together, they had great chemistry. It just made me a little bit bitter that I lost my chance. A chance at holding him in my arms.

“Oh no it’s okay, the more the merrier” i smile, maybe a forced one but Joel really doesn’t pay attention to me. So I thought.

“bueno, lets go” Joel smiles, I nod my head greeting the rest of Joel’s friends, walking in the club it was packed, out of all the days my birthday could fall on. It had to be a Saturday.

“I’m going to regret ever taking up your offer” you punch Chris, he throws his arms around my shoulder “don’t worry we’re going to have so much fun tonight” he winks at me, to which Joel caught and he didn’t appreciate much.

Everyone but y’all knew the feeling was mutual. But the boys decided they wouldn’t interfere with someone else’s love life, they just decided “let nature take its course” Joel rolled his eyes at Chris’s remark, grabbing Emilia by the waist and making his way to the bar. My eyes eases him up and down sighing heavily I decided to not let him bother me.

At least not in the moment.

Five shots in i were tipsy maybe a bit beyond tipsy, taking shots after shots, Chris wasn’t lying when he said y’all were getting hammered. “I wanna dance now” I yell.

“Dale niña!” Chris says drowning in his last shot with a squeeze of a lime, nodding my head I turn around quiet too fast for my body to comprehend, i almost stumble off the stool. Joel and I made eye contact and immediately he grabs Emilia’s chin pulling it towards him and making out with her. Quiet sloppy, rolling i eyes and grab the first member which happened to be Richard.

“Wanna dance?” I smirk appears, Richard doesn’t get a chance to think as I’m grabbing his hand pulling him in the dance floor. As the music blared in the background, I back it up on Richard rubbing my ass on him, one of Richards hands was on my waist while the other was holding his drink, as I rolled my hips against his,singing the lyrics to the song that was playing. I look at Joel whose face is almost flushed with pink shades, i wink at him biting down on my lower lip trying not to smile.

Two can play your games Joel.

Richard throws his arm around my shoulder as my fingers hook onto his forearm. Richard presses me against him harder as his fingers imprint into my hips. After the song ended Richard and I made our way to the bar again grabbing another drink.

“How’s your birthday so far mami?” He asks

“Great! I swear I’ve never had this much fun in my life” i smile, sipping on my drink, i turn around and see Zabdiel dancing with a girl, smiling at my group of friends.

Excuse me for being a sappy drunk, but I’m so grateful for them, I never took them for granted. Richard flicks my forehead, flinching I hit him on his arms “What was that for?!” I scream

“You were being sappy drunk, we don’t need that here” Richard says downing another shot glass.

“Shut the fuck up” i drink the colorless liquid, turning back around I see Joel and Emilia grinding against each other, basically doing what Richard and I was doing.

“Trying to make Joel jealous?” Richard asks

“What?!” I asked startled just by my response he already knew my answer “I can help with that” Richard winks

“Really?” I ask, Richard doesn’t answer me but walks a over to Zabdiel putting me in between them, now this time i were grinding on Zabdiel fusing our bodies together sticking to each other like sap off a tree. Joel was fuming with anger and jealousy. He just couldn’t hold back his emotions tonight. But neither could I .

The tension was rising between the both of us. Would the flames swallow us up and disappear into pieces? Or would it ignite a new flame?

After that song I wanted to sit down, moving over to the couch, Joel tried to get away from Emilia to reach you but she sits on his lips wrapping her arms around his neck, stretching her legs out so their isn’t anymore room. Rolling my eyes I place my cross my arms across my chest.

“Can you please move your legs, I want to sit down” I ask politely when i should’ve said “fucking move your feet cunt”

“Why? So you can try to steal his attention?, don’t you have a man? Isn’t your man Chris? Stop playing these dudes hearts” she smiles sheepishly, every fiber in me holds back the urge to punch her in lip.

“One that isn’t none of your business and two I asked you politely to move your legs, im fucking tired, Joel make your girl move please” I ask as calmly as I can.

“Joel, you agree, she needs to learn to be loyal. She’s just fucking all your members, they’re all being played, that’s what you told me” Emilia smiles cradling his head in her hands, your eyes come into a sudden shock seeing as Joel has been talking shit about you to her. In such a negative way.

“Oh really?” I ask calmly

“So move along, you’re not his type” she says, your eyes dart at Joel whose been silent for a while, Joel’s eyes tries to meet yours darker than the nightsky. “Okay bet” I walk up to Emilia punching her in the lip feeling a pair of arms pick me up by the waist averting me away from the situation.

“Don’t you ever disrespect me goddamn it I should’ve gotten your fucking nose!!” I yell potentially busting a vein, Joel gets up finally looking down at emilia’s busted lip. His eyes now angry at you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Joel yells

“Me?! Bitch you’ve been talking shit about me like I ain’t nothing goddamn!!!” I yell feeling my feet on the ground, but arms still holding my waist. “You fucking piece of shit you thought I was fucking your members?! That’s what you really think of me?! I fucking love you!! You!!”

“Only you dumbass!!” I start crying through my yells, the lump in my throat closing my air way

“So what the fuck is with you and Chris?!” Joel finally speaks

“Hes my fucking cousin!! Why would I date my cousin?!” The grip on your waist falls flat

“Your cousin?” Zabdiel questions. In fury you walk away from the heated situation and into the bathroom slamming the door behind you, the mascara I once knew of was dripping down your face. Grabbing a paper towel I wet it then wipe it off. the more I wiped the more the tears flowed.

I just knew it would slip. But no this way. I didn’t know it would come out in the heat of an argument. It’s not like you were hiding that Chris and I were related I just thought it didn’t have to be stated. The door jiggles open not even looking to see who it was I just keep cleaning my makeup off.

“Brenda, let’s talk about this” his voice sending those chills throughout my spine.

“One don’t call me that and What is there to talk about? I’m just a fucking whore in your eyes” you sting him

“I’m sorry bre,Never for a second did I ever say or thought that” Joel replies in sincerity

“So what did you really think Joel?” I ask turning around towards him, his hands cupping my face with one hand and cleaning my makeup with the other.

“I think you’re a rainbow in the middle of a hurricane,the moon before it kisses the ocean, the sunflower in the middle of roses, you’re different bebesita, just the woman I fell in love with” Joel mummers

“You don’t mean that you’re fucking drunk” I slur

“Not drunk enough to wear my heart on my sleeves for you, ask me this tomorrow and I can tell you word for word what I said” Joel looks into my eyes intensely, he tilts my chin up to his lips as out fuse together, tasting the strawberry liquor he drank, his hands on top of my ass picking me up and putting me on the sink. His lips now on the my tepid neck, my fingers combing their way through his hair. Joel pulls out of my neck his eyes easing me up and down trying to level with mine.

“Bre, I love you okay? No one else” Joel speaks softly

“So you and Emilia?” I ask curiously

Joel’s smile increases “we were never a thing, I want us to be a thing, trust me I won’t break your heart, the last thing I want to do is see you cry again because of me” Joel’s smile disappears, I touch his jawline caressing them with my fingernails.

“Me too” I mumble

“So will you go out with me bre?” Joel speaks above my lips, nodding my head he leans in smiling as our flavors interlock with each other. Joel helps me jump down from the counter and onto the floor. “Let’s go home?” He ask more or less as a question

“Yeah”

Erick ended up driving the both of us home, cause we were way past drunk to even think about getting on the road. Kicking off my shoes at the front door I meet Joel in the room, seeing him already half undressed, my face begins to change in temperature, my knees begin to buckle and become jello. Ignoring the pool in between my thighs I jump on the bed sitting on the edge of the bed. Joel turns around smiling at me which just brings back those butterflies. Now that he is actually mine I don’t think those will ever go away.

Joel towers over me pressing his lips upon mine moving in sync with each other, slowly I lean onto the sheets of his bed caressing his biceps with my nails. Joel lets out a soft groan in my mouth his hand gripping onto my thigh raising it up to his waist as his body dips into me. Rubbing his hard member against my wet core. Both of letting out a desperate pleasure, Joel pulls away his eyes painting onto mine.

“Wanna continue this?” Joel questions

“With you? Yeah I do” i smile, Joel’s smile slowly starts to creep upon his face, my hands find themselves under his shirt feeling his abs clenching on and off to my touch. “You got me, so now what?” I smile

“Eres muy hermosa” Joel mumbles, his plump lips leaving tiny trails of kisses on my neck up to my jawline as I gasp in comfort, his hands sliding under the fabric of my clothes touching my burning flesh. His hands cups one of my breasts as his lips makes their way down to my neck. Pulling away he tugs on the hem of my shirt and lifting it over my head. Before I could process anything his lips attack my swollen nipples licking and tugging at the seams as his fingers firmly unclampes my bra from the back, my back slowly rising off the bed sensitive to the way his tonuge explores my body.

Backing away from my body Joel pulls my bra down from my body as I look at him in lovestruck, Joel smiles at my sudden subspace, lifting his shirt over his head my eyes can’t help but to wonder every detail and curve to his body.

And I can’t believe tonight I’m going to be under it. Joel pulls down the zipper of my skirt, I lift my hips up to him slightly as his fingertips hook on my fabric pulling down both pieces of clothing down throwing it on the floor for decor. Slowly Joel opens my legs wide his fingertips digging into my waist he pulls me closer to him. Joel’s lips begin kissing the inside of thighs softly as my body aches for his touch, his breath hovering over my swollen clot awaiting for his tongue to be buried inside of my slit. Joel makes eye contact with my forming that smirk he’s been giving my all night. With one finger he slides up and down my slit coating it in my colorless essences.

His soft but simple touch feels like ecstasy to me, popping his finger into his mouth tasting me he presses down on my clit making me squeeze the covers in my hands. “Joel...” I plead. “What is it you want baby?”

“You” I let out desperately, Joel wastes no time after my answer as his tongue slowly laps up my slit dripping in sticky liquid just pouring out by every touch he makes. Joel’s eyes meet up with mine, feeling his tongue creating circles around my swollen clit with a tight tug of his lips sucking. My head sinks into the pillow letting myself fall into euphoria. Joel savoring me like his last meal, groaning into me as my moans fill the air along with the beads of sweat trickling down my body. My eyes rolling back at the his tongue flicks my sensitive bud. A knit begins to form in my stomach as my moans start to become more and more silent.

“I’m gonna come..” was the only sentence I could achieve, Joel hovers over me his two fingers pressed against my pearl shifting them from side to side filling the air with my juices and sparse broken moans. Joel wraps his hand around my throat softly but still be mindful not to choke me. “Come baby, mira pa’ acá princesa” his voice reverbs off the walls, opening my eyes you look into his. “You’re going to come for me babygirl?” Nodding my head as the whimpers begin to spilling out of me, my legs begin to tremble eyes rolling back as silence fills the room. My legs begin to close but Joel holds them open using his middle finger only to slide up and down my slit sending me into another phase of euphoria.

“I can’t Joel..” I whimper holding his wrist with one hand, but Joel ignores my cries, applying pressure back to my bud, rubbing in a circular motion his fingers engulfed in a creamy substance, this time his pace stable. Bitting down on my lower lip my whole body begins to shake reaching a another climax, “you’re so beautiful baby when you come” my hand digging into his forearm as I cum all over his fingers. His tongue cleaning me up I spasm every time it comes into contact with my bud. He unbuckles his belt dropping his pants and boxers to the floor. Reaching over the his bedside table he pulls out a gold wrapper. My body still trying to come down from the high as my chest rises up and down slowly.

“Ready for this?” Joel reassures “is this something you really want?”

“Wouldn’t want to have anyone else as my first” I smile caressing his jawline

“Me too” Joel slowly dips into me sliding ever so slowly as my face screws up in agony “am I hurting you? Do you wanna stop?” Joel ponders, opening your eyes you meet those soft butter pecan eyes. “No, keep going” I whisper. Joel intertwines his hands with mine, as my walls engulf him deeper and deep, the pain slowly started to subdue and pleasure came to replace it.

“Better?” Joel’s soft voice rings

“So much better” I moan, feeling him slide in and out of me, his manhood stretching me out with every slow thrust, almost sensing that I want more Joel sinks deeper into me planting his kisses on my neck, my fingertips scratching his back making sketches upon his skin my soft moans echoing his ears felt like he was in the studio recording a song. With every stroke I lose my breath, our hips clashing together as the beads of sweat drip upon us both. His grinds increased as the headboard constantly thumped against the wall.

The familiar knot builds in my stomach as Joel’s strokes become sloppier but never stopping to hit my sweet spot. We were both close to falling over the edge. “Come for me” He whispered as I fell over the edge into a waterfall of pleasure, grabbing purchase of his hair My eyes rolled back as I screamed his name, as he came along with me. My eyes slowly open feeling my walls unclench from him, rolling the condom off he threw it in the trash coming back with a warm wash cloth, to clean ne up.

“Do I taste bad?” I joke Joel’s eyes dart at me in concern “it’s a joke baby, cause you the cloth you’re too sweet”

“I mean I can use my tongue to clean you, but I may not know when to stop” Joel answers me cleaning my cum up I squirm a little making Joel chuckle. “I love that, me necesita” Joel raspy voice creates a heated pool in between my thighs. Getting back in the bed Joel wraps his arms around my waist sticking my back to his chest, while his chin sinks into the dip of my shoulder.

“I love you Joel”

“I love you more baby” Joel replies through the heavy clouds of sleep.

Waking up the next morning Joel left me a note saying he went to practice for their performance here in my hometown , breakfast is on the counter. Smiling I grab my phone heading straight for Instagram I see a picture of Joel.

358,662 likes

joelpimentel

🛏 day.

@/Bree__

All mine right?🤤

joelpimentel

@/bree__ all yours mami😘

Smiling I set my phone down heading to the kitchen not until I hear keys jangling in the lock. Joel’s head pops into his house closing the door behind him locking it with one hand. “So were??”

“Oh shush” Joel shuts me up by cupping my jawline in his hand planting his lips on top of mine, his lips tasted of raspberry, pulling away he kisses all over my face as I let out a series of giggles. “Yeah we’re official I don’t know who asked who, but you’re mine I don’t like sharing”

“Me either” grabbing a French fry you smile. Joel being my boyfriend was something I thought to be impossible but here I am I’m his kitchen wearing his hoodie. Couldn’t be any better.

#cnco imagine #cnco smut #cnco preferences #cnco joel #joel pimentel #joel pimentel concepts

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eabhaalynn · 5 years ago

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Punisher and Why it is my Album of the Year... Already

Every few years, we come across a singer-songwriter who is so devastatingly assured in their talent that they come to be generation defining. Their songs are synonymous with the era they’re written in, with the themes they discuss. Names like Bob Dylan, Stevie Nicks, and Amy Winehouse come to mind. This weeks’ release of “Punisher,” the sophomore album by Californian indie-rock icon Phoebe Bridgers has solidified her name on that list.

From her first note of her first album ‘Stranger in the Alps’ in 2017, we could see -or perhaps more fittingly, hear- that Phoebe is a force to be reckoned with. Her distinctive, haunting vocals from that album have made the soundtrack to many summers since, and many films to match. ‘Motion Sickness’details the emotional abuse of a relationship the then twenty-two-year-old musician had with Ryan Adams, an established voice in the alternative rock scene. In the years since, numerous allegations of sexual misconduct against Adams have come to the public’s attention. This only further points to the bravery of Bridgers’ in writing and releasing such a poignant track so early on in her career.

Thematically, Stranger in the Alps touches on death, depression, emotional abuse and heartbreak, without ever verging into the cringe or the cliché. Bridgers’ raw, honest vocals and song-writing skill make it a strangely comforting experience to listen to, and an album that is as melodically beautiful as it is lyrically heart wrenching. You would be forgiven for thinking that it’d be too impossible an act to follow, especially for an artist so early on in her career.

“The future’s unwritten, the past is a corridor.” – Smoke Signals, 2017

Ms Bridgers swiftly followed her solo debut with 2018’s Boygenius and 2019’s Better Oblivion Community Center. The former, a collaboration with Julian Baker and Lucy Dacus, played into the strengths of all three musicians, resulting in a fusion of indie-rock and folk-rock, and giving Phoebe ample opportunity to release more of the distinctive poetic lyricism that have become synonymous with her name. The blend of the three genres and voices is a beautiful and haunting EP that has aged with Ms Bridgers and become a defining moment for her career.

The latter, Better Oblivion Community Center, is a duo consisting of Phoebe and long-term friend and collaborator Conor Oberst. Their self-titled debut album loosely is themed around a dystopian wellness centre of the same name. The record is coherent, creative and once again plays to the strengths of both musicians, their voices complement each other beautifully, despite or perhaps because of the contrast in their styles. The album is undoubtably a feat of production, and plays into elements of electronic and country music, for the first, though evidently not the last time in Phoebe’s discography.

“So sick of being honest / I’ll die like Dylan Thomas” – Dylan Thomas, 2019

Which brings us swiftly on to 2020, the year of COVID, contradictions and confusion for all of us. Punisher, Phoebe Bridgers’ sophomore album was released on June 18th, at the perfect intersection of lockdowns lift and the beginning of summer. The release itself coincided with a time of social upheaval across the US and further afield, prompting Bridgers to move the official release date a day forward from ‘Juneteenth’, the official end of slavery in the US. Across her social media profiles, she prompted her fans to donate to organisations seeking racial justice.

"I'm not [delaying] the record until things go back to 'normal' because I don't think they should,” – https://twitter.com/phoebe_bridgers

The album opens with the instrumental track, ‘DVD Menu,’a seventy-second long, vaguely ominous string-led instrumental reminiscent of the video-game themes the artist would’ve grown up with in the early 2000s. It provides the perfect anticipatory build up into lead-single ‘Garden Song,’ a prospective looking, dreamy love song. Initially released on February 26th, 2020; Garden Song acts somewhat as a sequel to Stranger in the Alps’ Smoke Signals. It follows thematically, melodically, and continues Phoebes’ established lyrical poeticism. Like Smoke Signals, Garden Song is slow, but enthralling. The melody makes you want to listen, the lyrics make you want to fall in love.

Following on from this is second single, and third song, ‘Kyoto,’ in sharp contrast to the slow, strong self-awareness of the earlier songs, Kyoto presents a whirlwind of emotions, an aural dissociation of sorts. Kyoto is fast-paced, guitar led, and even difficult to follow. Almost anxiety-inducing, Kyoto is an exciting accomplishment of alt-pop. Phoebe’s strong descriptive lyrics manage to change themes between and even within verses, suggesting a struggle between her inner and her outer self, and how this same struggle bleeds into her relationships with others.

In musical circles, a ‘Punisher,’ is a name for an overzealous fan. The titular track of the album places Phoebe herself in this role. The song imagines a conversation between Phoebe and an artist she clearly admires very much. It is the first piano-led track of the album; and marks a contrast with the prior songs as she is able to outwardly express her emotion and feelings in the song’s narrative for the first time. While this is essentially a song to a stranger, it is marked with Phoebe’s distinctive emotional lyrics and vocal; and retains the same charge of emotional attachment that has become so characteristic of her discography.

Following this is ‘Halloween,’ a song that plunges us immediately into Phoebe’s narrative and lived situation. Utilising picking on guitar strings to produce the holiday season of the song’s setting sonically, Ms Bridgers takes us into her loveless relationship just in time for ‘cuffing season,’ and the all too familiar feeling of holding on to something that isn’t there, just because of the time of year. The melancholy is only furthered by the repetition in the song’s latter half by Conor Oberst, collaborator and Better Oblivion Community Centrebandmate.

Fan-favourite, and a personal favourite of mine, ‘Chinese Satellite,’ reflects on loss, and grief. Musically, it builds, starting slowly with a single guitar line and Phoebe’s vocals. By the end of the first verse, both the guitars and vocals have been layered, producing a haunting effect only furthered by the synth and drums of the latter half of the song.

Lyrically, Phoebe starts out questioning her circumstances, wondering why this unnamed event has occurred. She later turns this uncertainty onto herself, questioning her own lack of faith. Finally, she remembers memories of herself with the person who has been lost, and in retrospect, she yearns for the belief that she will see them again. This yearning that closes the song is accompanied by a drum, once again paired only with her voice, that is sonically reminiscent of a heartbeat. Chinese Satellite has provided a great comfort to me personally in a time of great loss, and while I know I am calling it extremely early I do not doubt it is my song of the year.

“Moon Song” follows, and it is a love song to someone facing issues with their own self-esteem. With beautifully raw production, the tough scratch of an acoustic guitar provides contrast to the soft and kind vocals. The song provides some of the best lyrics of the album, or perhaps of her entire discography, and in doing so, manage to make a fairly specific story of love through mental illness and self-deprecation accessible to Ms Bridgers’ broad audience.

‘We hate ‘Tears in Heaven’ / But it’s sad his baby died’ – Moon Song, 2020

This theme of a somewhat doomed relationship continues into ‘Savio[u]r Complex,’in this similarly acoustic ballad, orchestral strings pitched above Phoebe’s voice play further into the melancholy and toxicity described throughout the songs’ lyrics. Her use of metaphor and allegory throughout the song helps retain the accessibility of the otherwise characteristically dark lyrics, her strong descriptions throughout playing into the same emotions of Stranger in the Alps’ ‘Funeral.’

‘ICU’ initially released as ‘I See You’ due to the timing of the COVID crisis, was the final single released before the album, on May 19th,2020. It is a typically Phoebe Bridgers’ breakup song, one that acknowledges the love that she’s losing. Starting with a soft scream, literally, the songs’ vocals are raw over a distorted synth background. Sonically, the song is a mesh of all of the components of the songs preceding it, building to a climax before dropping out just in time for the final verse. This is, in my opinion, the best single, and one of her best to date.

Penultimate song ‘Graceland Too’ swings the album in a bluegrass direction, and in doing so, provides an ode to the influences Bridgers has taken from the genre. Its title references Elvis Presley’s ranch and tourist attraction of the same name. The song features her Boygenius bandmates in its latter half, resulting in an admirable melody not dissimilar to their EP.

The album closes with ‘I Know the End,’ an anthemic ballad that falls just short of six-minutes long. It begins telling different stories, centring around episodes of low-mood and depression, the causes of which are implied consistently to be related to the stresses of touring and the musician’s lifestyle. These stories are told over a guitar-led melody, initially pitched to be much quieter than the vocals. A feat of production, the messy string melody gains traction as the song progresses, building over the first half of the song in pitch, volume and number of instruments. Around the two-minute mark, the song is split by an instrumental, and when vocals return, they bring with them an increasing sense of urgency. The latter half of the song details a road trip Phoebe takes and pays heed to the sights and sounds she encounters throughout.

The song, and thus the album, concludes with a chorus of vocals repeating ‘The End is Near,’ over a chaotic melody of all sorts of instruments and assorted sounds, before descending into shouts and screams from Phoebe and friends in the last number of seconds.

I don’t even believe I need to clarify this, but just in case you have any doubt, this album is my favourite of the year so far. 10/10

#Phoebe Bridgers #punisher #stranger in the alps #boygenius #better oblivion community center #indie pop #indie #music #music review

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1-1snailxd-art · 6 years ago

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Libraries are for Meetings

Master List —— Chapter 4

Chapter 5 - I lost my friend at the library

Warnings: Homophobia mentioned, it is implied that someone isn’t eating (not an eating disorder completely, but I thought I’d warn just in case)

Summary: Patton admits his greatest fear; Katie reveals what is behind her sassy exterior; and Logan and Virgil are finally driving somewhere.

Note: reading on mobile can remove the paragraphing. Use desktop site or visit my Ao3 page if it bothers you as much as it bothers me.

______________________________________________________________

“You should have seen his face after the laptop hit the ground. I haven’t seen that shattered look since…since...”

Patton couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence. Laying against Roman’s chest on the couch, Patton had already filled Roman in on how he had accidentally pulled the laptop down. Now, Roman was gently stroking Patton’s hair as the credits for ‘Brother Bear’ ran on the tv screen. Roman made no attempt to prompt Patton to continue, listening solely to the other’s breathing and making sure his own remained steady.

He used to find himself in Patton’s position often, though it was Katie or Jason that he was leaning against. The subtle stroking of hair and faint background noise was just what he needed to find and express how he was feeling.

"It just feels like every time we get close to returning to normal, I mess something up."

Roman felt Patton's body tense up and Patton finally said his greatest fears out loud.

"I'm a bad omen, Roman. All I do is mess up Logan's life. You should leave me before I start messing yours up too."

"Hey, no, no, no" Roman wished he could pull Patton closer, but he was already squeezing him as tight as he could without causing any harm. There was so much guilt and pain pent up inside Patton's small body; though he rarely showed it.

"You are not a bad omen, Pat... It's ok. I'm not going anywhere."

Roman was so focus on trying to calm Patton's sobs, that he didn't hear Katie enter.

*************

The library didn't need much cleaning thanks to Virgil's relentless tidying during his prior shift. All it took was a quick vacuum and Katie was satisfied enough to set the alarms for the night. She was eager to get home and check on her boys after the day they had. Roman had passed on what he knew earlier, and Ellie had been messaging her ever since Katie tipped them off that Logan may have been heading their way.

It was all intuition. Logan had been avoiding all ties to Jason since the anniversary loomed over the horizon; but Katie had a feeling that Julie's Diner would be a comfort he would seek.

E: They just left. Virgil seems nice.

Reelest: Virgil is a good kid. How was Logan?

E: Hes Logan. Im sorry katie. Im not good at reading him.

E: our conversation got cut short.

Reelest: How are you doing? Really?

E: *seen*

Reelest: e?

Reelest: Ellie?

Reelest: Ethan?

E: *seen*

Katie sat in her car and contemplated driving to Julie's Diner to check on her young friend. She almost threw her phone when it loudly chimed for an incoming call.

"Do you need me to come over?" Katie immediately asked, desperate to be the supportive force she had become.

"Sorry, Katie. I just needed a moment to properly process your question." Ellie's voice cracked slightly, but otherwise was void of emotion.

"Don't apologise. Just tell me what you need."

"You shouldn't be helping me, though. Jason was your family. I should be the one working to comfort you; not the other way round."

"Who says what we should or shouldn't be doing. Screw that. If I went about doing what I should be doing, I wouldn't have raised Roman alone. I wouldn't have taken over the library. I wouldn't have connected with your family, which means I wouldn't have eaten for those first few weeks after Jason's death."

Katie paused and listened to Ellie's breathing on the other end of the line, patiently waiting for her words to sink in.

"I still feel guilty. Heck, I don't think I will ever stop feeling guilty, but... I think I understand. Thank you, Katie."

"You are most welcome. With that out of the way, what do you need?"

"... I think I'm... good for now. Seeing Logan was nice though. Do you think everyone would be up for a meeting before the actual anniversary?"

"Absolutely. Pitty picnic party?"

"Please. Can we have it on Friday, in the library? I’m working flat out every other day this week."

Katie was about to agree when her mind flashed to Virgil. He had taken on all but two cleaning shifts, and she was sure he was just about living in the library full time. She didn't want to take his figurative home for the evening, but at the same time she knew they were all in need of a good debrief before the weekend.

"Friday sounds great. I'll let the others know."

"Thanks again, Katie. I should get back to work. This talk really helped though."

Driving home, Katie turned the music as loud as her speakers allowed her to; belting out her favourite songs as tears streamed down her face. She had to be the face and voice of reason, but alone in her car she could truly be herself. The sad and terrified girl she never got to be. When her parents disappeared, Katie was 21 and immediately put aside her dreams of travelling to look after her 14-year-old idiot of a brother. She was thankful when Jason graduated high school the following year and moved in with them. It meant there was someone else who could be the strong face when she felt broken. Someone else for Roman to turn to, and even someone she could use when she just wanted to talk.

Stopping at a red light an electronic noticeboard flashed the current temperature and date.

"Almost two years, Jason." she thought, leaning her head back against the car seat as 'Stand by you' by Rachel Platten started playing.

Katie laughed and wiped at her eyes, knowing she would be home soon.

"You can be pretty sick and twisted universe." she said aloud to no one in particular, before she joined in to sing the lyrics the rest of the way home.

By the time she had the car parked and headed to the apartment building, Katie felt better. Anniversaries, be it her parents or Jason's, were never going to be easy; not that she'd ever let Roman see just how hard they were on her.

*************

Katie had expected to find Patton and Roman on the couch, but she hadn't expected to see Patton sobbing uncontrollably in Roman's arms. Quickly taking in the barely touched pizza sitting on the ottoman, Katie went straight into the kitchen and grabbed three popsicles from the freezer.

Roman didn't notice Katie until she walked in front of the pair.

"Alright, sit up boys."

Roman hated how much Katie could sound like his mother when she wanted; but she was immediately his sister again as she threw a popsicle at him the moment the pair had straightened.

"Truth time, Pat, have you eaten properly today?"

Arms wrapped tightly around his middle and hiccupping, Patton shook his head. Suddenly Roman felt very guilty for not noticing sooner. Though Patton had eaten the chocolate earlier, he hadn't touched the pizza at all; which was a clear indication that he wasn't in the best head space.

"Suck on this," Katie handed the unwrapped popsicle to Patton, who slowly started sucking it obediently. "Now, listen to Mamma Kay very carefully. Logan is fine, and you know he loves you in ways no one else will ever understand."

Patton nodded but kept his head bent low. Katie glanced up at Roman who was holding up his phone with the words 'bad omen' typed on a notes page. Phone messages were how the siblings use to insult each other behind their parents’ backs, but it was now proving to be a helpful tool as Katie quickly joined the dots.

"Pat, do you remember the day we first met in person?" Patton nodded, sobbing settling the longer he was distracted by the frozen treat. "Remind me what happened that day."

"imsmavmdyoufonacar."

"Wanna try that again so I can actually hear you." Katie bit into her popsicle, causing Patton to cringe as he looked up from his own.

"I saved you from getting hit by a car." Roman climbed over the back of the couch to grab a box of tissues, thankful that Katie was helping keep Patton calm.

"That you did. Learnt my lesson to never try and impress others by wearing unfamiliar heels out in the streets."

Roman laughed as he jumped back onto the couch, "you always walk like a baby giraffe in heels."

Shooting Roman a look, Katie kept her voice calm for Patton. "And what happened on Roman's 17th birthday party?"

"I fixed the cake after the icing melted when the fridge broke down."

A smile spread across Patton's face at the memory of Jason freaking out in the kitchen and Katie screaming into the phone for an electrician. A warm arm wrapped around his shoulders as Roman settled back into a comfortable position; placing the tissue box between them, before leaning back to finish his popsicle. Breathing finally fully under control, Patton lent back and allowed himself to lean into Roman's hold.

"That was a really good cake too," Roman commented, before placing a kiss on to Patton's head; curls tickling his nose as he did so.

"It looked like unicorn vomit before Patton got to it," Katie mused, chewing the final remains of her popsicle. "and let's not forget what you did for Logan the other week."

"Oh, yeah," Roman laughed, wooden popsicle stick hanging from his mouth, "I'm sure Spec's was freaking out when he got to the lab and found his notebook missing. If you hadn't of recognised it on the footpath, who knows what would have happened."

Katie was glad to see the smile spreading to Patton's eyes as he continued to lick is now melting popsicle.

"Are you getting the picture, Patton?" pushing herself off the ground, Katie threw herself up onto the couch to sit on the other side of Patton. "One mistake can't outweigh all the good you do. You're a good person, Pat." "And don't you dare forget it again."

Patton turned his head to smile at the Reels siblings; their presence and kindness pushing his dark thoughts to the back of his mind. As much as he wished Logan was in the room with him too, Patton could live with that empty feeling for the moment; Katie and Roman were good substitutes for now.

*************

The drive started in silence. Virgil watched the streetlights reflect on the windscreen and listened intently to the smooth jazz Logan had on the radio.

“How old are you exactly, Virgil.” Logan’s voice was level and calm, “I recently turned 23 if that makes you feel more inclined to share.”

“Oh, um, 19 going on 20.” Virgil shifted in his seat slightly embarrassed, “I finished school a year later than most.”

“When I was 7, Patton was the new kid at my school. He became my best friend and we helped each other through everything the world threw at us. It was our Freshman year when Patton came out as gay and despite everything that happened, I was still proud to call him my friend.”

“What happened?” The words slipped out of Virgil’s mouth before he could register what he had said; thankfully Logan took it in his stride.

“People can be cruel sometimes, Virgil. They make assumptions and roll with them. Despite being in a relationship with a woman, rumours spread that I was Patton’s partner. I thought nothing of it until my parents confronted me and told me I needed to cut all ties with my friend to prove I wasn’t gay. They threw me out when I refused.”

Virgil clenched his fists and stared down at his feet in anger and sadness.

“Why would they do that if you weren’t gay? Why couldn’t they just believe you?”

“They had a reputation and they felt the rumours were damaging it. I moved in with Patton and his family after that. It was a dark time for me. I broke up with my girlfriend and buried myself in school, work and sports. I only saw Patton when I came home. I’m ashamed to say I avoided him at school to spare myself the ridicule.”

“That sucks.”

“It did, and for a while that was my life. School, work, sport, avoid Patton, repeat. Then Jason found me ... Um, outside of the local library.”

“Jason? Who’s that?”

Virgil realised he wasn’t being fair to their game, but he didn’t care. He needed to know.

“He was a junior. Top of his class for literature, but terrible in all other areas. He was the man to beat on the track. I’d watched him train many times but never had the courage to approach him. His confidence scared me.”

“That’s relatable.” Virgil chuckled to himself and then realised Logan was looking at him. “I mean-“

Now it was Logan’s turn to laugh as he returned his eyes to the road. “I know, Virgil. That is why you remind me of myself.”

The car slowed as Logan neared the address Virgil had given him.

“What do you mean I remind you of you?”

“Those were dark times for me. I didn’t want to be around anyone, and I certainly didn’t want to share my problems with anyone. Honestly, if my parents kicking me out hadn’t of been so public, I would have preferred to stay on the streets than accept Patton’s help. My feelings and troubles were my own and I wanted them to stay that way.”

Logan’s eyes remained straight ahead, despite pulling over outside a block of units. Virgil stared at the other, his mouth going dry.

“I didn’t want anyone’s help, but I needed it. When Jason... tumbled into my life it was weird, but he was just the person I needed to set me back onto the right path.” Logan turned and looked at Virgil, his eyes soft and void of the pity Virgil was sure would have been there. “Do correct me if I am wrong, but I think you are in a dark place too, Virgil. One similar, yet very different from my own. Jason helped me, and I will be forever grateful of his support. Should you need a guide to find your path again, I would be happy to provide the service.”

Silence filled the car, despite the engine running and the radio still humming away. Neither moved. Logan too scared to move in case he upset Virgil, and Virgil too stunned to move an inch. He was overwhelmed with emotions, ranging from fear, to sadness, to anger and he didn’t know how to process everything. Somehow, this stranger had spent a few moments with him and broken him down so perfectly. He was angry at himself for being so readable, and afraid of how the world had been perceiving him this whole time. Finally, the weight of it all crashed down, and Virgil was quickly unbuckling his seatbelt and climbing out of the car.

Logan sighed, fearing the worst as he popped the boot to allow Virgil to retrieve his things. By the time he climbed out of the car, Virgil had his bags on, hood pulled low and was already walking up the street towards his former building.

Knowing it was best not to linger, Logan got back into his car and drove away. Virgil was thankful to watch the car lights disappear and turned away from the buildings to head in the direction of the library. Hot tears ran down his face, drying and cooling on his cheeks as he walked.

“I want help, Logan.” He whispered to the night, “but I’m too afraid to accept it from you.”

_______________________________

End Note

Hi, my name is Snail and I finally finished this chapter *band music playing* I was stuck for a looong while, so I ended up writing a 'flashback' chapter that was really messing with me and then came back to the current story. I think I just needed to see a key event in words before I could keep moving on.

Also, I got an idea for another fic that people on Tumblr seem interested in. I'm not leaving this behind (EVER), but this other fic may be an outlet for when I need a break from real life and want to dive into fantasy. Having a fantasy WIP may also help me delete the random dark paths that I had for this fic. LAFM wasn't meant to be dark, just angsty relationship building, love and acceptance...with a few punches thrown in.

_____________________________

Chapter 6 — Master List

What else have I done:

The Perfect Ring (oneshot - analogical proposal)

You Promised (oneshot - prinxiety angst/injury/near death)

Sides of a Hero (Completed Fic - sides are fusions of impulses and aspects of Thomas. Virgil has a depressing past that he is forced to face thanks to Deceit and Rage. Was canon compliant at the time of completion)

The Shield to your Sword (WIP - A fantasy/magic au - Prinxiety (Royal Roman and orphan Virgil - they’ll admit to their love eventually), Virgil angst, non binary, healer Logan, *spoiler* Patton)

Check out my other blog for random fandom reblogs and stuff @snail-giggles

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la-paritalienne · 6 years ago

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Don't know if the anon wanted it but I do want the review for Fine Line 👀

oh yayyyyyy! there it goes! fair warning, i’ve written it upon my first / second listen as i do w all my reviews, bc i feel like that way it manages to include a first impression kind of vibe without it being superficial. i’ve reread and i agree w myself (hehe) and i’ve lifted a few grades bc i’ve been feeling some stuff more lately, but yeah, this was not written now so. just to clarify.

golden: okayyyyy i wasn’t expecting for his voice to sound like this!! like, low and raspy? it sounds more intimate this way, i think? as for the sound, it’s kind of funky and think as an opener, this song really represents the sound he chose for this album… i could be wrong tho, let’s see how it goes on. slightly repetitive but the voice won me over and overall, i really like it.

fave lyrics: i’m out of my head and i know that you’re scared because i’m so open.

8/10

watermelon sugar: when this song starts i’m like ok… i like everything about it… but then the chorus comes in and idk, something annoys me about the ‘watermelon sugar high’, i think it’s hyper metric so that doesn’t sit right w my ears, and then worst lyric ever goes to ‘i want your belly’… so overall it’s a meh from me. the breathe me in / out part sounds so lovely thoooo.

fave lyrics: baby you’re the end of june

6-/10

adore you: this is my fave out of the singles! it’s just boppy and cute, a feel good song. it doesn’t amaze me but i wouldn’t mind listening to it often bc it’s just a happy song and it’s sooo catchy, it’s the only single that truly got stuck in my head. it does sound like a zayn song – like, a lot – in some parts, which isn’t bad per se just… unexpected i guess?

fave lyrics: you don’t have to say you love me, i just wanna tell you something, lately you’ve been on my mind

7,5/10

lights up: at first this song disappointed me very much so idk if i can be completely objective on it, rehearing it i actually really like it… like maybe as a song it’s better than adore you but less catchy so i liked it way less at first? here too, major zayn vibes. it’s growing on me, although there’s still something that i’m not a fan of, idk what it is exactly… maybe the strophe?? i love the ‘shine’ part, not sold on the verse and ‘la da da’, but overall maybe listening to it again i like it better than adore you… it grew on me!

fave lyrics: it’d be so sweet if things just stayed the same

8/10

cherry: oh??? i almost didn’t recognise him, there’s a reverberation in the voice or something? i’m no expert so i’m sorry if i’m bullshitting, i’m just trying to describe what i hear. i feel like i like the music more than i like the words (not the words per se, although the songwriting is kind of childish here, tbh, but more like the delivery). i don’t like this… it’s boring and whiny. (also the ‘coucou’ as a background sound kind of irks me) but it’s a good song, maybe just not memorable or not my personal fave. the ending audio doesn’t make much sense to me bc it’s not something you say in like a voicemail, it’s something that requires a response like, as if he’d recorded a conversation and removed his own voice? or just kind of staged? but i like how the final word fades into music.

fave lyrics: i just miss your accent and your friends (let’s be real, the lyrics are so unimpressive, it was hard to pick a line).

5/10

falling: oh woooooooooow, i love the way his voice sounds without any effect on it… to me, the lyrics just hit deeper this way, but it’s also that the lyrics here are really something else! and the lyrics……. wow again. i’m loving it! it does that thing where it makes me sick to my stomach in a meaningful, beautiful way. oooh there’s a loooong high note too! nothing to add, this is perfect for me.

fave lyrics: [everything wtf. but especially] what if i’m someone you won’t talk about?

10+/10

to be so lonely: i wasn’t expecting where this was going when it started, very beatlesy, soothing sound and soothing voice! there’s something dreamy about it, the pre-chorus especially, that makes the chorus surprising. and then it’s insistent and like… gets groovier and groovier. veeeery beatles, definitely. i’m a fan!

fave lyrics: i’m just an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry

8,5/10

she: oh i looove psychedelic rock!!!! my genreeeee! beatles again, and pink floyd of course as the most obvious influences. (i want you / she’s so heavy?? it reminds me of the lacrosse the universe version also). and i feel like pink floyd for something in the sound, but the whole thing like voice + sound is more beatles, the descriptive side to it… it reminds me of eleanor rigby like… the way the song makes me feel, kind of anxious in a way that’s not necessarily bad? it just makes me feel things. flexing w that instrumental!!!!! wow. i mean this is my jam, i also love the lyrics so it’s a big big yes from me, although i mean, not groundbreaking as in – it’s been done a lot over the 60s and 70s especially… which is why it’s not a ten, but still, great song.

fave lyrics: she lives in daydreams with me

9,5/10

sunflower, vol. 6: cute!!! the lyrics, the sound, the light falsetto part, the funkish beat! oooh and there’s some funky instrument that i’m too ignorant to define, but nice! maybe for my taste it’s kind of messy, i guess in a good way but also in a way that it’s not something i want to listen to a lot, i think? the hooting and howling in the end… interesting… not really my thing and the beatles did it in the 60s but like… cute.

fave lyrics: i’ve got your face hung up high in the gallery

6,5/10

canyon moon: this sounds too much like italian masterpiece ‘acqua azzurra, acqua chiara’ for me to take it completely seriously, but per se it’s quite nice to listen to, it feels almost country? i swear every time the guitar comes in i kinda lose it bc it’s just… sooo much alike, so i’m sorry i can’t really say more about it. cool lyrics and it’s a nice song!

fave lyrics: the world’s happy waiting

7-/10

treat people with kindness: ok this is……… i’m sorry but i’m cringing a bit (a lot). when he comes in it’s not bad, it’s just… the idea of making a song out of a slogan is not genius, to me, like, it’s bound to sound weird and inorganic i think?? i’m sorry, i’m trying to like it but i can’t, like there’s some nice screaming (all together now, just a little bit of kindness) and the gospel chorus per se is amazing but i can’t unhear the lyrics and overall it sounds a bit messy.

fave lyrics: and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong

3/10

fine line: i feel like this is a very fine (hehe) stylistic excercise, again, kind of psychedelic, lots going on w the music, lots of falsetto and some powerful lyrics, but somehow i get distracted while listening to it… kind of (very) boring? especially w how long it is, i guess it aims to make a statement but if so idk, i expected some powerful change throughout? a bridge or something? the mind wanders as you listen to it, one of my least faves for sure.

fave lyrics (these are impressive tho!!): put a price on emotion, i’m looking for something to buy, you’ve got my devotion but man, i can hate you sometimes

5-/10

thank you so much for asking! i do these for myself and like the few friends that care bc i find it interesting and ‘challenging’ to put my thoughts down and grade stuff but also a relaxing pastime at the same time. let me know what you think of course if you want♡

#Anonymous

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eurosong · 6 years ago

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2018 vs 2019: Semi-final 1

Hey there, folks! Every year after the national final season is over, one of the first things I write about Eurovision is a comparison of the new year’s songs with those of the previous year. Often it gets folk unfollowing the blog even though it’s almost entirely posts about ESC statistics and only a relatively small amount on rating the songs here. These are just my thoughts and no offence intended to anyone who thinks otherwise. Without further ado, click below to take a look at my thoughts on semi-final one!

◯ Australia – 2019 – Last year, Oz sent “We got love” (or “We got l’œuf” as I renamed it), which was a dizzying collection of clichés, got a mediocre placement and might well have been the impetus for them finally biting the bullet and getting the punters involved in the thitherto long mooted national final. This decision might not benefit their chances of keeping up their qualification record in the long run – but it means, for once, that Australia can move outside a narrow box musically and send things that would never be picked by internal selectors. “Zero gravity” was a less astute choice than “2000 & Whatever” would have been, I feel – it sounds to be like something that people think is so Eurovision who haven’t seen it in some time. Nonetheless, homegirl has pipes, the tune is quite catchy and it’s a hell of a lot more interesting than last year’s song.

◯ Belarus – 2018 – whilst I’ll be talking about 2018 vs 2019, I have to take a quick detour almost right away to 2017. It was the first time that Belarus managed to sustain my interest and get into my personal top 10 since their début, and they did so by going authentic and finally showing some love for their national language on the ESC stage. One year later, and I certainly wasn’t enthused by a carpetbagging victory of a non-local singing a rather ordinary song in English or some approximation thereof.

And yet, “Forever” and its earnest performer grew on me, especially the strange dissonance between the hopeful lyrics and the very melancholy music. After a similar number of repeated listens, “Like it” has not sparked even the briefest flame. Musically, this starts off with an inoffensive if very 2005 Spanish guitar riff, arrives at a decent-ish bridge and then throws itself off it head first into an absolutely dreadful thumping, repetitive chorus which is reprised way too much in the rest of the song. Lyrically, they put about as much effort into the words as they did into the “screensaver with default font” they were using as a background as Zena performed. She repeats “yes, you’re gunna like it” 40 times in the space of 3 minutes – one every 4.5 seconds. Maybe she’s trying to psychologically condition us, but no, Zena, I ent gunna like it at all. In a delicious bit of irony, it’s also at time of writing the least “liked” ESC ’19 song on Youtube. Strong preference to 2018.

◯ Belgium – 2019 – It can be difficult for a country to come back after a peak moment for them with something equally good that also manages to win over the fans and juries. We’ve seen it in Latvia after “Love injected”, in Estonia after “Goodbye to yesterday” and I think we’re seeing it once again with Belgium after “City lights”. Neither this year’s song nor last’s comes anywhere near the anthemic, emotional power of Blanche’s song. Both are nice enough, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Eliot struggled much as Sennek did last year. I give it a slight preference, but both songs are really let down, I feel, by choruses that don’t pay off the drama built in the verses.

◯ Cyprus – Neither – I try to limit myself to as few “neither” choices as possible in these games because the fun is in having to choose, sometimes, between two difficult options. Nonetheless, I abhorred “Fuego” in every conceivable way and this aptly-named “replay” offers little different to those who weren’t fans of it. If I had to pick, I’d go with 2018, because at least it doesn’t have the sadness of attempting to catch lightning twice in the same jar attached to it.

◯ Czechia – 2019 – Two years, two rather uncomfortable entries from the Czechs in a row. Last year, we had a predatory “Blurred lines” light, while this year, whilst less lyrically degrading, still has weird lines about eavesdropping on people having sex through the walls(?)… but it’s enough to secure a slight preference.

◯ Estonia – 2018 – It seems like such a long time has passed since the days when I consistently found Eesti Beesti, since those days when Eesti Laul seemed experimental and had a decent number of songs in their native language. I’m no fan of popera, but at least Elina was a local talent. It’s bewildering when a country with so many great artists can’t find someone with any real association with it to sing for them. Though both are ultimately derivative, I prefer La forza to what is essentially an aviici b-side.

◯ Finland– 2018 – I have a pet peeve for national finals where you are presented with a single choice of artist. Unless said artist is very versatile (say, Frances Ruffelle, who took on dark pop, ballads and gospel-tinged anthems in her solo national final back in 1994), you are restricted to a narrow set of genres. If you don’t like that artist or their style, then you’re shit out of luck. That’s been the case for the last few years with Saara Aalto and now Darude. I didn’t really like ány of either’s songs and miss the days of a diverse choice in UMK. I pick Saara because her throwback was slightly more tolerable.

◯ Georgia– 2018 – Fair play to Georgia, who always dance to the beat of their very own peculiar drummer. You’d think that the shift to the X Factor format to pick their representative, combined with the cold reception for their “ethno-jazz” last year, would have led to them playing it safe to try to avoid three DNQs in a row. Instead they’ve gone for something downbeat, angry and almost oppressive in its ambiance, i.e. something even less accessible to the general viewer than last year. This feels like the rock song equivalent to a war crimes tribunal. I preferred last year’s effort, which was rather more uplifting, and which I felt was unfairly underrated for a genuinely well-composed piece of music steeped in tradition.

◯ Greece – 2019 – A number of people around me were raving for Oneiro mou last year. I wasn’t one of them and suspected it would fail to qualify from the get-go. Instead of “Greece returning to form”, it felt like them attempting to do so but ending up with a nationalistic pastiche instead. This year, they’ve taken their usual mould and smashed it with a hammer, going in a very different direction with a delightfully husky-voiced singer and a musically anthemic piece that manages to compensate, for me, the song’s lyrical shortcomings. I enjoy it a fair bit more.

◯ Hungary – 2018 – This is one of the hardest ones of this semi final to choose, as “Viszlát nyar” and “Az én apam” are chalk and cheese, but both highly qualitative and with meaningful lyrics. Joci’s other ESC song, Origo, beat Viszlát nyar for me, but his 2019 effort doesn’t have quite the same visceral punch to it, so I think I’m going to have to give the edge to AWS this time around.

◯ Iceland – 2019 – Another country giving us night and day, but this time, I like neither of the two choices. Last year certainly put the “cheese” in the old “chalk and cheese” saying, an unbelievably overwrought and soppy Christmas charity-esque tune that somehow ended up at ESC. This year, it’s something rather acerbic, dingy, grating and ultimately gimmicky. In these times, “hate will prevail” is the last message we need. I will take it over Ari any day though, as that was just squirmworthy.

◯ Montenegro – 2018 – It seemed that, last year, Montenegro was back to doing what it has always done best – a haunting, beautiful Balkan ballad after a few bizarre years of experiments gone wrong. Unfortunately, Inje got slept on despite its quality and couldn’t bring about an end to CG’s DNQ streak. There were many candidates in this year’s Montevizija that could have gone one better and done just that – but instead, bewilderingly, we got this unspeakable jumble which sounds like it was a rejected b-side for a mediocre mid-90s boy band, but with the addition of Random Casio Noises® in the background. Comparing Inje to it is likening fine wine to a bottle of Panda Cola that has been left with the cap off in the sun for 2 weeks.

◯ Poland – 2019 – Last year, Poland sent a middle-aged man in a hat doing a cringey snake dance whilst a young, inexplicably Swedish guy sort of sang and the whole thing sounded like the soundtrack for a Coke advert gone wrong. This year, they’ve got some women swaying like maniacs in a forest where they probably buried their patriarch. Not much of a step up in theory, but a big step up nonetheless…

◯ Portugal– 2019 – Portugal is a country that could have peaked with their first win, or fallen into a niche in a sad attempt (*cough* Cyprus *cough*) to recapture that glory. Instead, they are challenging all the tropes and have a national final with some serious diversity. I loved “O jardim” and it deserved way better, but this year’s song, “Telemóveis”, exceeds even that. It’s a haunting but catchy as hell rumination on mortality, technology and saudade with a musical backdrop whose influences transcend continents. If it’s not in the running to win the whole thing, I will be disappointed.

◯ San Marino – 2018 – I cannot get my head around the enthusiasm for “Say na na na”, which seems to have been contracted not only by postmodern pisstakers but by many folk who genuinely like it. It makes me cringe 10x more than Jenny B’s not quite sick rap skills last year, and that’s saying something. Plus, they had robots.

◯ Serbia – 2019 – They seemed like really nice people, but I found last year’s Serbian entry itself to be a bit of a minestrone into which a dozen elements of other songs were chucked in, and thus was lacking a bit in coherence. “Kruna”, on the other hand, is perfectly-formed, poignant, beautifully orchestrated and one of the best Balkan ballads in the past few years.

◯ Slovenia – 2018 – Fair play to Slovenia for picking themselves up and dusting themselves off after a few rough years. Hvala ne was backed by almost no one to qualify but I had faith in it early on and Lea benefited from being able to make a real connection with the crowds. Sebi is a very different beast entirely. Whilst Hvala ne had a defiance and a frenetic energy, Sebi is contemplative and melancholy. Both have great lyrics, too. I am going with Slovenia at the minute as it’s stood the test of time, but really the better of the two songs is really a question of mood.

And the automatic qualifiers of this semi-final:

◯ France – 2018 – It’s a battle between two songs written by the same writers, and since I loved their 2018 work, their follow-up should have a chance of making this a closely-run thing. Shóúld. Instead, they went from writing an understated song about humanity to writing an overbearingly pompous and self-important song about ego. This is the worst French song to me since 1988.

◯ Israel – 2018 – I wonder if Israel’s broadcasters remember how their predecessor, the IBU, won on home soil in 1979. I have the feeling they might well do, and as a result ensured it wouldn’t happen again with this song. There are elements of the song I really like, but it’s let down for me by a snivelly, exaggerated voice and a rather self-indulgent chorus. I was no great fan of “Toy”, but can listen to it with more pleasure than this.

◯ Spain – 2018 – I remember when “Tu canción" came out and I was completely in love with it. The unfortunate thing about songs sung by starry-eyed young loves is that their relationships often end up star-crossed. Now, Almaia is no more, and the song has a hugely bitter aftertaste. Nonetheless, I prefer it to La venda, which is a rather empty song lyrically but which I still found the best of a bad lot in the Spanish national final.

Coming up in the next instalment, my thoughts on SF2’s songs and how they shape up to those from last year!

#eurovision #esc 2019 #opinion #esc #eurovision 2019 #eurovision song contest

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lokisasylum · 7 years ago

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This used to be my favorite song but...

Now I can’t even listen to it without cringing, thinking about how its a song where all the obnoxious solo stans come out.

Yes, I’m talking about The Truth Untold (live).

I knew right off the bat that the song was not an easy one to sing live, even for the vocal line. The first concert in Seoul showed this, they were nervous, some were sick, Tae was still emotional over the loss of his grandfather, and so on. But as the tour progressed they got better.

ALL of them did.

And yet everytime I watch a fancam of the concerts when this song pops up I can’t even bear to look at the comment section ‘cause all I’ll see are mostly:

#1. The Jungkook solo stans who only complement him like he’s the ONLY member of the vocal line while the other 3 are nonexistent.

#2. The Jin stans who are proud of him getting lines, but also forget that the others are there.

#3. The salty Taehyung stans who are proud of him, but at the same time hate that he only gets 2 lines so they rarely comment on most fancams.

#4. The Jimin stans who are proud of the progress he’s made only to be shun down by the JK, Jin & Taehyung stans who leave comments under theirs like: “Oh but he’s not stable like JK”, “atleast Tae did better with his two lines”, “he’s okay in his own songs, but here he sucks. You gotta recognize that.”, “JK & Jin only”, “BTS V/JK is the best.”.

#5. And only a handful of comments are actually praising the Vocal Line as a whole.

Most of the times I’ll ignore the comments cause in my mind those people are the same problematic, fake, cheap bitches who come from Twitter where they talk shit about any member who isn’t their Bias.

But there are other times where its just gets downright annoying, because it’s been happening since the FIRST concert on the tour.

And I wonder is it really worth it for Armys to be preaching about loving OT7 at this point? When the same people who claim to love OT7 are the ones who then turn out to be solo stans downplaying the rest of the members’ abilities in order to hype up their fave.

And you know... that’s sad. It’s really fucking sad that its happening not once, not twice, not once every full moon. It’s almost every single time.

Are you a BTS stan? Or are you a solo member one? Which is it?

And about the song itself, here’s what I think in general:

First of all the song, although beautiful, has MANY flaws; way too many high notes and wasn’t properly adapted for 4 different voice types; Jungkook - light lyrical tenor, Jin - tenor, Jimin - countertenor, & Taehyung - lyrical baritone. Which is why on some of the live performances they don’t sound the same, can’t reach the high notes they did in the previous ones, their voices crack (it has happened to all 4 of them, not just Jimin), ect.

Secondly: Its a Vocal Line song and therefore all members should have been given equal amount of parts. especially around the chorus (like in TEAR for the Rapline). But instead you only get JK & Jin harmonizing with Jimin singing his parts in between (sometimes you can barely hear him because the other two voices drown him out), while Taehyung doesn’t participate in harmonization at all (he’s not even facing the others). Why didn’t they just have him harmonize with Jimin? We’ve seen and heard how beautiful both of their voices sound together in “Fake Love”, “Love Myself” and even on that special live stage they did with Jin during one of the Japan Musters.

Maybe the root of the problem isn’t the members themselves but the song of choice. I can sing to any song by Disturbed, Breaking Benjamin and The Birthday Massacre, but don’t ask me to sing anything by Evanescence or Within Temptation unless you want to suffer from internal bleeding or brain damage.

So regardless... I think, in the end, we should try and be more supportive of every single member equally (Even if they aren’t your Bias) rather than always trying to single out one member or the other like Bangtan Sonyeondan is made out of one individual instead of 7. ‘Cause last time I checked:

There’s no “i” in TEAM or GROUP.

Otherwise, what’s the point of saying “Teamwork makes the dream work” ?

#bts #bantansonyeondan #bangtan boys #bantan boys #beyond the scene #ly answer #love yourself world tour #love yourself answer #the truth untold #jungkook #jimin #jin #taehyung #ARMY #bts army #rant #kpop rant

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thesinglesjukebox · 7 years ago

Video

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ST. VINCENT - FAST SLOW DISCO

[6.33]

Could have just called it "Disco," Annie.

Katherine St Asaph: Unpopular opinions: Masseduction is St. Vincent's best album, and "Slow Disco" is one of its worst tracks -- you have this colossal and cohesive album, plus a Civil Wars cowrite stuck at the end. But that's an unpopular opinion, and so we have this rather than "Fear the Future Except The Fear's Even More Visceral." "Fast Slow Disco" is exactly what it sounds like: "Slow Disco" with a donk on it. It almost works -- that synth bass makes up for a lot -- but only almost, and you can hear the exact moment it sags: "leave... you... dan... cing." The synth line's basically "Dancing on My Own," so why not swipe the rhythm too? Singing it like "I'm in the cor-ner" doesn't quite work either, but it's a hell of a lot closer. [5]

Alfred Soto: Masseduction was St. Vincent's most satisfying album to date, and "Slow Disco" its dullest track, relying on the disjunction between adjective and noun. Accelerating it underscores the slowness of its disco. Despite identifying as queer, the leather bar video plays like a sop to the audience. [4]

Vikram Joseph: The original "Slow Disco" was always gorgeous, but with hindsight it's obvious that there was always a legit banger lurking underneath its porcelain skin, ready to supersede "Los Ageless" as Annie Clark's finest floor-filler. Re-imagined as a four-chord disco stomp, it should probably be too obvious, but it's such a blast of ecstasy it's impossible to resist. The secondary drop at 2:08 is so ready for the floor that it pretty much suspends all of my critical faculties, hacks into my phone, books an Uber and orders a round of shots. [8]

Ian Mathers: Slightly better than even Broken Social Scene's "Major Label Debut (Fast)" in the very narrow category of 'good songs redone by the original artist that are now even better and then the artist adds the word "Fast" to the title,' mainly because Clark had a better song to begin with. [9]

Maxwell Cavaseno: Ah the progressive artistry of *reads crumpled up notes* making a lazy ballad reworked into generic dance pop you'd (rightfully) roast current day self-serious Lady Gaga for. Annie Clark's pretense and dull ambitions once at least suggested a wilful weirdness, even if she was far more interested in being obtuse with her gestures than being tuneful. But here we have an unnecessarily gaunt sounding attempt at pop with no interesting qualities beyond "oh, it's St. Vincent," which if you're not interested in that alone, makes this unremarkable. Hey, good enough that she can be so many variants of boring. [2]

Ryo Miyauchi: Removing herself from the disco fared better for Annie Clark to hit upon the dread and meaninglessness of socialization looming in "Slow Disco," though it strikes her point nonetheless when she decides to go meta in this "fast" version. While some of her words fit in awkwardly as a pop rhyme, the gritty synth beat gives her visceral imagery pop a more vivid edge. [6]

Juana Giaimo: For an album that went unnoticed, "Slow Disco" truly was a highlight: the violins and St Vincent's delicate voice captured the intense emotions of feeling out of place. "Fast Slow Disco" adds a generic synthpop production that characterizes the rest of Masseduction. It sure is poppier and more suitable for a single, but by adding, it erases so much. [6]

Iain Mew: Maybe the old idea that you show the true strength of a song by stripping it down to basics isn't false in the sense of being incorrect, but just highly incomplete. For instance, St. Vincent has shown the strength of this song by doing the reverse. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: The trick here is that "Fast Slow Disco" isn't actually faster than the song it remixes-- the vocal track is exactly the same as the album version, and the tempo holds too. Instead, St. Vincent pulls off an audio version of that optical illusion with the same-colored squares, air-lifting the best single track off MASSEDUCTION and dropping it in a new milieu. On the album, "Slow Disco" was a come-down, a necessary moment of mournful calm after a run of tracks that felt like increasingly desperate stabs at joy or cries for help. As a single, the mood is more celebratory-- a lyric that was once an elegy becomes something more in the long heritage of bittersweet disco bonfires ("Dancing on My Own" is the obvious antecedent); a track about dancing becomes something you can actually dance to. [8]

Julian Axelrod: I love St. Vincent more than I love most members of my family, but all her albums have a few songs that take a while to click with me. I guess she got sick of waiting for us to catch up, because this time she went ahead and turned the MASSEDUCTION sleeper into a full-on banger. This could have easily been a cash-in abomination, but that throbbing synth swell is so tastefully executed it elevates Annie Clark's club kiss-off into a gorgeous angelic exodus. I get why people hate on the Antonoff effect at work here, but I'm certainly not going to stop St. Vincent from becoming the queer pop queen she was born to be. [8]

Stephen Eisermann: As someone who's never heard the original, this just makes me miss Robyn. The production is cool, but nothing else about the track really works; and the extra voices on the chorus border on kidz-bop/glee cringe territory. [4]

Abdullah Siddiqui: This track is everything you'd want from this new post-intellectualist MASSEDUCTION Annie Clark prototype: glamorous and glorious and bittersweet and potent. She manages to genuinely breathe new life into an already gorgeous song, which is a fairly tricky thing to do. This rework is so vibrant and exhilarating and so breathtakingly melancholic. I find myself dancing to it about as often as I find myself getting choked up to it. And in my book, that's indicative of a great song. [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#St. Vincent #pop #music #music reviews #writing

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