#empathy in friendships

[howdoesone]

How does one casually bring up their dad's donor number at a sleepover?

Sleepovers are a rite of passage for many children and teens. They offer a unique opportunity to bond with friends, share stories, and create lasting memories. However, for children conceived through sperm donation, the question of how to discuss their unique origins can be a bit tricky, especially in a casual setting like a sleepover. One particularly delicate topic is how to bring up their…

[juan-francisco-palencia]

Eine Blume auf dem Weg.

A few days ago, a girl asked me what motivated me to write all the things I usually share. I smiled at her and replied Including you and all the other people who love, who live together, who breathe reality, who survive in time. It's that universe of things I try to discover and show with my words.

— Juan Francisco Palencia.

[bumblingbabooshka]

I love Vulcans we need to get more into the emotional lives of Vulcans without imposing Human standards onto them. "The way you feel is wrong/repressive because it's not the way it's "supposed" to be from my perspective as an alien called Human" is boring to me especially when it's treated as correct. I wanna know how the aliens feel about their alien way of life. Vulcans are so interesting to me when written AS aliens and not as analogous to repressed Humans. I think about Tuvok's description of attachment to his family and how that isn't the emotion 'love' but something else, something that he feels no shame about having and sees as normal, as naturally Vulcan and I love it and I love it because there aren't any Humans there to go "Um actually checkmate you Vulcan s.o.b - that's emotion!" and he isn't being influenced by anything. These are his authentic thoughts. He sees his children, his family, as part of him. They were at times illogical, incomprehensible, and it was extremely rewarding to be in their lives. He thinks about them every day. They were well behaved. As teens they were contemptuous of authority and convinced of their own superiority. His youngest son loved one 200 verse story so he sang it to him. He'd rather die than betray his wife even in spirit. He's incomplete without them. It's obvious through Tuvok that Vulcan life is not inherently devoid of pleasure, comfort, or love and thus Human life (I think) should not be portrayed as inherently having something greater, deeper, more meaningful. I'm not talking here of society but of...emotional life. Interiority. There's this sense that all Vulcans are the same and miserable for it. That they hold themselves back and are indistinguishable and antagonistic to the self, repressed and wrong. That to be Vulcan is to suffer endlessly and Humans are all about Freedom Man and I don't know, I like that Tuvok's existence sort of challenges this as much as I acknowledge that Vulcan society is in fact repressive and unwelcoming to those who don't fit neatly into it. I'm not saying Vulcan society is a utopia, I'm questioning the perception of Vulcan emotional control - that way of life - as being inherently bad, devoid, or lacking. That Vulcans walk around with 'empty cups' and are only deluding themselves that to be that way is good. If only, Humanity moans, they could taste how delicious life could be! Tuvok is an average Vulcan. He does not struggle with emotion, he is not mixed species, he was not raised atypically, and yet he has a family he cares about and a wife he's loyal to and friends he values and none of these things seem to be Un-Vulcan to him. If Vulcan life was truly devoid of love and care, Tuvok wouldn't think of his family. They're not here, so why bother? When his pon farr came, he'd be trying to find the most compatible mate rather than risking his life by trying to meditate through it out of loyalty to T'Pel. T'Pel would also have just given Tuvok up for dead instead of waiting and his children wouldn't have traveled all the way to the most holy temple on the planet to say prayers for his safe return. I think these things are interesting and I wish they'd been explored more. The fact that caring about your family, caring about your friends, is not Un-Vulcan. The fact that Tuvok at no point longs for Humanity, sees nothing better or of interest to him in it. (Even in his teenage rebellion he only says he's sorry he was born Vulcan which reads less as Vulcan v Human and more like 'I hate this goddamn family' ykwim?). I want to know more about how Vulcans interact with each other, how they care for one another, what it means and what it's like to be Vulcan in more of an everyday way rather than what it means to be Vulcan vs Human.

[scroofy-was-here]

today my friend told me that she hated will byers (and mike!!!) and that the show would be better without him + he was so annoying

i am re-evaluating our friendship

how could you hate him??? how???

[isagrimorie]

"There's fight in Voyager yet. It's still got temporal shields, six photon torpedoes. It'll hold together. Besides, you know the adage. Captain goes down with the ship, right?"

Star Trek Voyager 4x09 - Year of Hell, part 2

Favorite Year of Hell moments

[lovelygirlinbleu]

Before I write my actual review, I have to say one thing. Ginny's heart beats more for Marcus than for Maxine because Marcus is and always has been her best friend and closest confidant. The rift between Maxine and Ginny began the moment she decided to have that secret thing with Marcus, and then at the beginning of the second season, when she learned everything about her mother and was isolated by Maxine and literally pushed into Marcus and Abby's arms because Max treated them like garbage too. That's when it was sealed that Marcus was and always will be her best friend. This caused a chain reaction in which Ginny, who initially only had MANG, formed her own safe space with Marcus, Abby, and Bracia. Maxine and Ginny never rekindled their bond because it was already weak and ultimately broke the moment Ginny was pushed away. So, it doesn't surprise me, and I don't blame Ginny, that she seeks comfort from everyone except Maxine. BUT, I'm still very much on Maxine's side when we talk about actions and wordings. Because her POV made me realize her pain and how hurtful the girls behaved, which at first didn't seem so bad because most of the excluding happened naturally at first from the outside. But when they started to do it on purpose ... The girls were horrible to her, and I think the writers went a bit too far. I get that Ginny and Abby don't see Max as their 'person' as explained in the beginning but dang they shouldn't have been so nonchalant and unempathetic about it. Abby did not surprise me (love her though) but Ginny really shocked and scared me. Like girl that was not nice! In the end the whole plot is not black and white to me and I appreciate how I can feel both sides. But we still could've said and done things differently. No words for Norah she's just a bird.

[classycookiexo]

[lilbitofsomthin]

Curly Talks AU Part 14 ✨

Look at Curly making promises and shit :D

One more part for this chapter soooooooo

✨Stay tuned ✨

[heartofmuse]

I am afraid I cannot be an undying light when I have seen so much darkness. I know the horrors of the world and pain that shatters the soul, but I can sit in the darkness with you until daylight breaks in your soul. I can share the silence and the void, and hold your hand through it all. Sometimes hope is not brewed in the light but in the most absolute darkness, and sometimes all it takes is the knowledge that someone cares and that you are not alone.

e.v.e.

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

Weaponised empathy: to understand another’s feelings and triggers, and use that knowledge against them.

Izzy knows all about weaponised empathy. That if he throws a tantrum and threatens to leave, Ed will do whatever to stop it. This might be the first time we see it as viewers, but it’s not the first time it’s happened. Ed’s resigned ‘I should deal with this’ shows no element of surprise. He’s done this little dance with Izzy many times.

Izzy doesn’t explicitly know - and neither does Ed - that when Izzy behaves in this manner, he is pressing on psychological bruising linked with Ed’s father; picking at a seam that runs through Ed like a fault-line. Izzy just knows it works.

Izzy taps into Ed’s guilt when in fact Ed is the one wronged. Ed tells Izzy he was right to call him names; tells him he can be captain of the ship; tells him he’ll kill Stede Bonnet, interpreted as a vow Ed cannot change his mind on (‘He promised me’, 106).

Last time Ed fought back against an abusive father-figure, Ed killed him; and then Ed looked within and decided whatever it was that allowed him to do that was monstrous. Ed cannot look that ‘monster’ in the eye again, and so Izzy is able to repeat the fatherly-abuse pattern because Ed has put a blindfold on introspection indefinitely.

Feeling pity or sorrow for a person who deserves it, and wanting to help in some way is not weaponised empathy despite ideas circulating currently in the world.

What Izzy is doing is. He is able to read and feel something within Ed which is broken, using it against him as a form of manipulation. It’s sociopathic to feel someone’s pain and use it for your own advancement.*

How differently Stede acts when he realises Ed’s brokenness…

*I wrote this earlier this week in response to current political rhetoric and had it sitting in my drafts. I think it comments in other ways now also. I want to reiterate: feeling empathy towards someone who tells you they are genuinely hurting, and you wanting to do something to help, is not causing the collapse of the Western world. It is what sustains us. Those that choose to manipulate natural empathy against a person for their own gain are the ones weaponising. But I would rather give my empathy to 99 who need it, and allow the one who doesn’t deserve it to take some too, than not give at all. Be smart, protect your hearts and wallets where you can, but never stop saying ‘I’m your friend’. Never stop channelling your inner Stede.

[juan-francisco-palencia]

Thank you for the follow. Your write beautiful words

[parasolladyansy]

This is an amazing bit of trickery by Ingo to make HoB!Ansy realise she set an unfair double standard without leaving any room for rebuke.

By saying it in the way he did, there was no room for silent "I don't believe you" as there would be if he said that he really doesn't mind helping HoB!Ansy perform maintenance.

lol I wouldn’t call it “trickery” - it’s more like Ingo put her in his shoes to help her look at her situation more kindly.

Like she knows intellectually that she deserves kindness & when friends help her out it’s because they care about her - at the heart, it’s still a struggle ;u;

Awww dangit! “Give maintenance” would’ve been a much more fitting phrase. Oh well.

[vyeoh]

I'm rewatching all the Marvel Defenders shows on Netflix and as much as I mock the MCU now, I need non-Marvel fans to understand that I was and still am a fan of "Daredevil fighting the gentrifying assshole who bought out the police force because ACAB both as a lawyer and vigilante of the community" and "Jessica Jones fighting the man who mind controlled her into doing unspeakable things and forming a community of fellow survivors and allies while dealing with PTSD in a range of both healthy and unhealthy ways" Marvel. God I love these idiots they carried so hard

[girl-that-writes]

being the therapist friend is great and all and I know that empathy can't run out but you know what?

it can deplete from time to time.

yeah, it'll get refilled but till it does? do you have any left for yourself? the most important person and friend in your life? do you have any patience left for yourself? the kindness you need?

etching a boundary and knowing when to stop giving isn't being selfish.

it's really just taking care of your own self.

- a therapist friend

[mysteriouslywingedfestival-blog]

Fandom: Disco Elysium (Video Game)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences 

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply 

Relationships: Harry Du Bois & Judit Minot, Harry Du Bois & Kim Kitsuragi, Harry Du Bois & Jean Vicquemare, Judit Minot & Jean Vicquemare, Harry Du Bois & Kim Kitsuragi & Judit Minot & Jean Vicquemare, Judit Minot/Judit Minot's Husband 

Characters: Harry Du Bois, Judit Minot, Judit Minot's Children, Kim Kitsuragi, Jean Vicquemare, Judit Minot's Husband 

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Substance Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Recovering Addict Harry Du Bois, Harry Du Bois doing childcare for Judit, Sad Kid, Self-Hatred, Harry Du Bois is Doing His Best, Harry Du Bois Keeping His Shit Together (Sort of), POV Harry Du Bois, Harry Du Bois' Skills talking, Too Many Points in Half-Light and Empathy, Friendship, Post-Canon, discussion of suicide, body image issues

Summary: 

“Judit!” said Harry, quickly stubbing out his cigarette. She turned to look at him, startled, as he hurried over to her. 

“Sorry,” she said, hurriedly wiping her cheeks with the cuff of her jacket. “I didn’t–I didn’t realize anyone was–” More tears fell down her cheeks and she wiped them away again. 

EMPATHY: This isn’t sadness. It’s fear. 

“Judit, what’s wrong?” said Harry. He touched her arm, gently. 

Her face crumpled and she let out a choked sob. “I don’t have–I don’t have time for this,” she said, her voice wavering. “I have to go– My kids are alone– And my husband– No one knows where he is. I’m scared he might– he’s been so down lately–” She stopped abruptly, unable to make herself say what she was thinking.

[non-conventionnel]

“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead Walk beside me… just be my friend”

― Albert Camus