#except for the part about hyperfixating and otp

[hquntinghunter]

"you're so negative" no i am not. internally i am smiling wide thinking about my otp. internally i am giving so much love to the creators of what i'm hyperfixated on. externally, i have a rbf. also i was busy trying to go about my day before you came along. so goodbye. richard

[erikraven]

Get to know your mutuals!

Tagged by @serpercival!

what’s the origin of your blog title? I am, in fact, the bird. Caw.

otp(s) + shipname(s): Within MASH, Hawkahy. I absolutely adore the dynamic I’ve found for them, which I like to call heaven and earth: Francis, taught to stay separate from the world and work within it while staying pure, and Hawkeye, who is incredibly bound to the earth, humanity, life and death. A large-scale example is in The Haunted 4077th, but I’m working on a shorter, more concise poetic piece called “of the flesh”, focused on all the meanings of the word carnal.

Favorite color: blue!

Song stuck in your head: I’ve listened to the entire Interdimensional Act III album by Seven about five times and it’s only been out for three days. My favorite from it is probably “Last Signal From The Collider”. Seven and Crywolf are good writing music for the kind of introspective, metaphysical writing I’ve been doing lately.

Weirdest habit/trait: I trill, hum, purr, and chirp as a substantial part of my verbal language when I’m around people that understand what the sounds mean.

Hobbies: writing, Minecraft, video editing, photobashing. Creative work, mostly.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Data entry/records management. My brain puts everything into little boxes. My fanfic collection on Calibre has twelve custom columns.

Something you’re good at: Writing very visceral, sensory-heavy scenes. One of my wips has a scene of a spinal tap and my partner couldn’t finish reading in one shot.

Something you hate: Noise, eye contact, finger paints.

Something you collect: Fanfic, music. I used to collect web series, but then my laptop got stolen with five terabytes of data on external drives, and that kind of killed my interest in doing it. Still get twitchy whenever I see those “this video will be deleted in 24 hours” gimmicks.

Something you forget: I have no sense of time whatsoever. If I do not have a clock in front of me, time does not exist. (Except on very small scales, in which case I can tell if audio is one frame out of sync with video.)

What’s your love language? I genuinely don’t know, I don’t do ‘love’ stuff all that often. Spending time together?

Favorite movie/show: John Wick (any of em) and either MASH or Battlestar Galactica

Favorite food: salmon! Fry it til the skin crackles, singe the meat side, spritz with a little lemon juice, and eat.

Favorite animal: Birds! Birds, birds, birds. Special interest, hyperfixation, past life, whatever you wanna call it. My original species is part bird, and the avian side carries substantial traits into the human side. Learning about new species of birds fuels the OC factory.

What were you like as a child: Did not have a childhood. Have no awareness of myself ever being under the age of 14.

Favorite subject at school: Math! Especially geometry. Let me rotate the shapes in my head.

Least favorite subject: History.

What’s your best character trait? Creativity

What’s your worst character trait? Lack of strong sense of self. I have never formed an independent opinion in my life.

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? I would like to stop living in a car.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? If I can talk to them and try to change how things went, my uncle (check out Napalm Sticks To Kids if you’re wondering why). If it’s just an interaction in a vacuum… hmm, I dunno. I’d like to talk to CS Lewis about his whole “the male sex is something given masculine gender, gender is more real than sex” thing.

Tagging @tuttle-did-it @quordleona03 @awholehoststan @nootnzoot cause apparently I only have four mutuals lol

[starburstgalexies]

For the ship bingo meme, I am humbly submitting Kazuha and Aether for your consideration (or any other Genshin ship of your choice really)

Coming in strong with my genshin otp. Smoochable actions, Jay.

No bingo, unfortunately :( They could be married for 30 years but they've only met a single-digit number of years ago so.

More details under read more.

i'd read a fic i mean yeah. gladly. i just wish 90% of them played the same game as me. didn't just slap the canon names onto personalities that are better off being ocs. but yeah. (sneaking a fic rec here even though it's pre-relationship because amazing characterization.)

otp x 1000 IT'S THE SHIP THAT UNLOCKED MY ABILITY TO LOVE THIS GAME LIKE I WAS ENLIGHTENED BY THE GOD ITSELF but then again this is a hellgame so maybe the god is not very benevolent here. I literally think about them every day.

t4t?? i'm not sure. they are both genderqueer as fuck. but also slightly on the masculine side of the scale and i hc they both have dicks. so depends on how binary you think the t's are in t4t.

best in a certain part of canon listen. the traveler reigniting kazuha's ability to love someone again, being the factor that made him realize his dead boyfriend's will can only live through him, and that trigger being yet another someone he loves (almost) dying at the shogun's hands again so kazuha acted without even thinking... that scene is what made me go from 0 to 100 about liking the game. that scene is the reason i am hyperfixated on this game and on this ship. they have been living in my head rent-free since that moment. those 90 seconds are saved in a private youtube playlist for me to rewatch time to time. i am very sane about it. so, yeah, best part of canon. easily.

free space: they unironically get lost in each other's eyes and all that gooey disgusting shit they are so gross. even their mutual boyfriends can't stand them. lumibei are watching them from the bathroom, mocking every word of stupid poetry they use to profess their love. they need to be shoved into a locker except they would 7 minutes in heaven that shit up in 7 seconds.

rotating in my brain like a microwave i think that has been shown very clearly even through this post alone.

i have so many headcanons i can probably write essays about intricacies of their relationship. the relationship starting with the impossible duality of "can't be together can't be apart". the development into "well we are glued together now". anyway. yeah. microwave. sanity.

awwee i love them :) by default

part of a bigger polycule yeah, 90% of genshin characters are, though this pair is each other's Very Special Someone tm. hell, they could even be monogamous if they wanted. they started off monogamous (kind of.) but also they both have like an entire army of boyfriends (and some girlfriends). most of them shared. i think, while not fast in any shape or form, kazuha is capable of falling for most of aether's other lovers. a much bigger polycule, eventually.

fandom doesn't know them like i do this is a true statement on its own but also i can say this for literally every character, even the ones i don't care about, because i don't think this fandom has very good reading comprehension. 99% of the time they just use pretty faces as models for tropes, so.

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

2, 4, 6, 8?

2. What is the first fic you remember reading? some Artemis Fowl thing on a fanforum. I don't remember the very first one, but I do remember one of the fics that really impacted me. it must've been like 2011 or so... (AHA found it! here u go. LOL 2012.)

4. What fandom(s) are you part of? Have they changed over time? Right now I think just Jojo and Gossip Girl primarily are my fandoms, but sometimes I will dip my toes into other waters. maybe at some point I will write fic for The Owl House. I used to be into Harry Potter, but ever since JKR came out as a te/rf the whole HP fandom environment has become quite hostile. my first fandoms were artemis fowl and septimus heap! and I used to lurk a lot in the pjo fandom, LOL.

6. What is your current OTP? What do you like about that ship? well my Jojo OTP is jotaro/kakyoin, and i like how they're both very... neurodivergent4neurodivergent. also they are kind of that cliche trope of like, honour student x bad boy delinquent, except the trope feels kind of subverted, because jotaro is the most cinnamon roll delinquent in the world, and kakyoin is capable of fucking someone up real good, honour student persona aside. i love their interactions and the way they seem to understand each other on some inherently intuitive level.

for gossip girl, it'll always be date. even when im not writing fics or reblogging posts on here, sometimes i'll listen to songs and daydream scenarios with them in my head. they're like a home away from home to me; no matter what i hyperfixate on, i know i can always come back to them. what do i like about them? how much they like each other, how genuine their friendship is, how casual it is and how it's not forced or a struggle or anything like that at all. their dynamic actually sort of reminds me of me & my fiance (the whole "bro but romantic" is so us, haha) - so there is that, as well, lmaoo. :3

8. How do you typically read fic (e.g. phone, laptop, tablet)? Why? usually on my phone while lying on bed or lying on the floor or in public pretending im not reading fic LOL. but if it's a longfic and it's afternoon,i will sit at the table and read it off my laptop. im kind of in the habit of beginning my day with reading a fic and/or ending my day with a fanfic, which is why im usually lying in bed scrolling thru it on the phone. this is bad sleep hygeine and not very good for your eyes, kids, don't be like me. :P

[puppycharmz]

ask with TWO PART!!! Colors: rEdd, purble, pimnk, and sweater weather. Character Ask: uhhhhh Sonic :> (bc ik that's one of your fav hyperfixes x>)

part 1: Ggahwhwb everyone yelling at me to the to sleepppp

part 2:

favorite thing about them: BLUE and FAST

least favorite thing about them:

broTP: sonic and METALS. bro they are bros literally and also figuratively. tails sonic and metals solidarity they hang out together

OTP: sonadow🥺

noTP: any eggman related ship. dont do that shit that's kinda ew. also metonic but that's just a personal taste ALSO DONT DO ANYTHING WITH TAILS AND SONIC I WILL HURT YOU IF YOU DO

random headcanon: while seen as lazy to some, much like his bro, he WILL overwork himself to the point of exhaustion. my mans suffers from insomnia 😔

unpopular opinion: actually I love how silly some of the games are. sonic and the secret rings GOOD. and also idw good even if they dragged shit out (exception is shadow as a character. what'd they do to my boy....)

song I associate with them: dude you CANT go wrong with Escape From the City

favorite picture of them: (its classic/ ova sonic but shhhh)

[mcrmadness]

This is just me talking about (my) asexuality and aromanticism and mainly about how I figured I'm aroace. I'm from Finland and recently turned 30 so my experience and "lgbt+ history" might not be what you know it as, especially if you are not from Europe, or if your native language is English.

Also this is highly personal, so I doubt anyone here will have 100% same experience. But that's fine because remember: we're all individuals here and these are NEVER universal. You're still valid even if you wouldn't relate to what being aspec is to me.

It might be IS a long post so beware, but I've just been feeling like writing down some thoughts so here we go...

What I have been able to track is that I was 17, in 2008, when I first stumbled upon the term "asexuality". I don't remember exactly how, but I just remember reading about it and immediately going "yeah that's me". But what I do remember is that no one talked it being about sexual attraction. Basically how understood it was: asexuality = sex-repulsion.

I was 17, and somehow I knew I was sex-repulsed, but at the same time also thought I'm just a minor, so it's normal to be sex-repulsed. But even after turning 18, I don't recall ever feeling sexual attraction. I didn't think of myself as a "late bloomer" but just as someone who just has no interest towards sex. At some point I became really anxious of men, however. Nothing has ever happened to me* but still I, for some reason, developed terrible fear of men. I'm afab and just did not want to be seen as an object, and it made, still makes me, terrified to think someone might look at me and have Emotions. I know that we can't control our brains, I mean, I can't look at someone and force myself to feel attraction - just like those who do feel attraction, can't force themselves to stop feeling attraction. They can only control their actions. But yeah, I also had horrible (sexual) intrusive thoughts due to my generalized anxiety disorder at some point, which did not really help. They got a bit better when I came into terms with my asexuality and aromanticism, but sometimes they still come at me and it's never fun, but at least they're not as strong as what they used to be.

*(Unless if you can count that as sexual harrasment when, CW, I was 11 and a classmate was "into" me and tried to touch my face and talk "sweet things" to me but made it into a show despite me being uncomfortable and usually crying cos as a neurodivergent I didn't know how else to react.)

But anyway, back to the topic. So for years I understood asexuality as sex-repulsion, but I guess it's because I, well, am a sex-repulsed ace. So if I'm sex-repulsed, why would I then look at someone and feel something if I'm repulsed by the thing anyway? Like, it probably can't get any simpler than this :D And I know today that it's not as simple anymore. But that was 2008, at school (in ~2005) they only talked about gays a little, on one page in a sex.ed. book that otherwise was maybe 100 pages long. Only one page. About gays. And it was basically "Some boys like boys or some girls like girls and it's totally fine." and that was it, but the overall assumption was that everyone likes someone. And also there were no romantic orientations. Liking someone = both sexually and romantically. Not liking = not a thing except when you were depressed or otherwise mentally ill, or autistic or mentally disabled (which is a SUPER ableist take btw). I don't remember teachers ever talking about this, but it could also just be my adhd, maybe they did mention, but I just don't remember. At least in my notebooks there is no mention of this, everything was very much heteronormative and amatonormative, and also there was only two genders. I don't remember ever hearing about transgender people, apart from foreign documentaries and in them they were always portrayed as some shocking freaks of the nature, and loads of wrong terms were used. And this is still the mid and late 2000s we're talking about!

So this takes us to the other part aka aromanticism. Back then asexuality was not only sex-repulsion but also merged together with aromanticism, because people didn't talk about romantic orientations yet. So asexuality was not only sex-repulsion, but also you simply just not wanting a relationship. Again, nothing about attraction, just someone who did not care about sex nor relationships. A "forever single", if you will.

This was already annoying me a lot back then because I was really annoyed by sex "running the world". I was so angry because why is asexual the only sexuality that doesn't like sex? All the other sexualities had the assumption of them always wanting to have sex. Like, even think about someone who is straight, you hear that someone is straight, and you automatically assume(d) that oh they're into sex too cos why wouldn't they be. This was really driving me nuts because I was sure there are people who want to have a partner, but never want to have sex! I was still experiencing crushes, and I knew for sure it was nothing sexual, so it annoyed me that just because I'm asexual, it means I can't have crushes. That's why I actually called myself as "asexual bi" for a while, because "bisexual" indicated I would have not been sex-repulsed and I wanted to point out that I'm NOT into sexual things, at all - and remember that this was still the late 2000s or early 2010s and I had not heard of romantic orientations yet! So I was up to something, there just were no terms for that yet! Today that would be called bi-/panromantic asexual.

I haven't been able to track the exact date or even year when did I figure out I'm aromantic, or when did I hear about romantic orientations for the first time. From the messages I've been able to find, I was already in my early 20s. Aka somewhere around maybe 2011-2013. In those, I have still been wondering what I am or if I even want to have a relationship, not being really able to tell what I wanted or didn't want. Again, no one told me romantic orientations are about ATTRACTION and not about whether you have commitment issues or not (this as a half-joke, cos I have severe commitment issues with everything :D I need to feel free!).

Anyway, I do remember my key moment with aromanticism, or the "aromantic awakening" as you could call it too, was when I was 17 or 18. Or maybe I was older? I don't know, I have time blindness. Anyway, I had this one online friend I had a "crush" on (I think it was just undiagnosed adhd's person hyperfixation) and I even told her about it. Everything just is super shady, from those years, I was not really on my best and there are so many overlapping memories that feel like different alternative universes instead of memories on a same timeline. Anyway, I just remember at some point thinking about this girl and I thought about some "romantic" stuff, like kissing, and I just remember my brain going "NOOOOOPE!" I had wanted to meet with her some day so bad, but when I started thinking about actually meeting with her, I started to nope the fuck out. All I had in my head was awkward embarrassing "first kiss" scenarios from movies and I just was not having it! I basically went "lol I guess I'm aro too, then XD" but I still don't remember when did I have this realization. Was I 17? Or was I, say, 22? I guess I need to go through my old MSN Messenger and Skype convos some day to investigate this further because I really want to know. I couldn't even find anything from my Tumblr from those times (I registered here in 2011), but I don't know if that's just me not tagging or Tumblr search functioning normally (aka it never finds anything).

But yeah, I am touch-repulsed. And kiss-repulsed, and romance-repulsed, too, (unless it's my OTP we're talking about). I'm still not exactly sure if I'm touch repulsed because I'm aromantic, or if I'm aromantic because I'm touch-repulsed. I only know that because of my sensory issues (I'm neurodivergent), I have never liked touching nor being touched. Even as a little kid I hated hugs and never liked sitting on anyone's lap. I only tolerated my parents, mainly my mom, because they were my safe place as an extremely shy baby/toddler/kid, who was especially wary about men. I can't explain the latter, but there was something about adult men that caused me (as a baby) to hide my face against my mom's shoulder if they talked to me. I did that to everyone I didn't know, but especially to men I didn't know. No idea why.

I also remember how my siblings loved to sit on people's laps and were always climbing onto their laps, and I didn't like this. And once my (late) grandma was so touched when she asked me if I want to sit on her lap (I was maybe 5-7?) and I agreed just to make her happy. I still remember how it felt, and I did not like it at all, but it still made my grandma so happy that I THINK she almost cried when she told my mom I actually agreed to sit on her lap. I'm not sure how real this last part of the memory is because I was so young. But I do remember thinking I do that for a change because I knew my grandma would be happy.

So yeah, my touch-repulsion is not exactly a new thing but just something that has been a part of my personality forever. But is that the core reason for why I only feel aesthetic attraction? I never look at people and feel like I wanna touch. More of the opposite, the idea of having to touch them or them touching me makes me go "eeewww". If you have seen that video of a gibbon shaking their whole body after seeing a rat in their exhibit? That's what I feel like when I think about touching or being touched, in just any way, also platonically.

The only time I feel "sensual attraction" is when I see photos or videos of animals. The urge to pet a tiger is insane. But the feel of another human's skin or muscle (or hair or whatever) is very repulsive to me.

I still remember how disgusting it felt to e.g. sit on a cousin's lap. We sometimes used swings like this, and somehow I was aware of it not feeling nice, but still not doing anything about it cos it also was okay? Only later I have realized I really, really loathe the texture of human skin. Or the warmth and overall feeling of a human body. For example, I was at least 7 or younger when I sat on my cousin's lap while we were sitting on a swing and STILL, after over 20 years, I have that all in my body memory. I remember how the thigh bone felt under my legs and how freaking disgusting the muscles felt inbetween. Also at school, on the 1st grade, we often had to walk in a line of twos after the teacher and hold the pair's hand so no one gets lost. My then-friend had so ridiculously dry skin that the only thing I could think of was how I felt like throwing up because the skin on her palm felt so damn disgusting. I still can feel that in my hand when I think of it. That's one of my "core memories" from 1st grade - how disgusting the human skin can feel like.

I don't think I have ever felt actual romantic attraction towards anyone. It's really difficult to differentiate because as I mentioned, I get those people hyperfixations easily. I guess it's the same hormones but I never really want to do anything with them? I guess it's the emotional intimacy that "attracts" me and what gets me excited, but I'm still not exactly sure what emotional intimacy means to me. I don't exactly fall into the QPR category either, in a way I wish I had a best friend whose best friend also I would be, and that neither would have anyone else who is "better" than the other one. But the only intimacy there would be emotional intimacy, nothing else. And I need my freedom so I wouldn't move in with any human being, either.

Sometimes I've thought my "ideal partner" would be a robot because if I get annoyed, I could just turn it off and stuff into a closet and leave there, and if I felt like not having a "relationship" anymore, I could just remove the harddrive and destroy the robot, or both. That way I would be the only one with the memories, and I wouldn't have to worry about someone out there knowing things about me, things that only the closest can know, and I'm really afraid of letting anyone close in case it won't work (also with regular friendships) because I can't stop thinking about how much I wish I had that MIB memory cancelling device so that they would again know almost nothing, or at least much much less about me. There's already one friendship that ended a few years ago and I still keep thinking about how I wish I could take everything back and how I wish they delete(d) all the files and drawings and stuff I sent them. There are so many things about me I wish I never told them, now as we are no longer friends. Back then it felt like "of course this is gonna last a lifetime!" but turns out that nope, not all friendships will.

I guess it's time to stop rambling. This post is really long already. If you read it all the way here: congrats. And thanks. You probably just wasted your time but... that's on you I guess :DDD But yeah, some thoughts from a 30-years-old aroace who has been aware of their identity for at least or almost 10 years now.

[recurring-polynya]

In my Great Summer of Austen, I have just finished Persuasion, which I don’t hear talked about all that much and I wanna talk about it.

The plot of Persuasion is that you’ve got Anne Elliot, middle daughter of a baronet who lives beyond his means. In her youth, Anne fell deeply in love with a young (relatively) poor sailor, Frederick Wentworth. Anne’s mother died, but she is often advised by her mother’s best friend, Lady Russell, who convinces Anne to break the engagement because she doesn’t think Wentworth is good/rich enough for her (hence the name of the book). After an eight-and-a-half year timeskip, the Elliots are in the middle of the process of moving to Bath because they can’t afford their ancestral home any more, when Wentworth rolls back into town and all the Austen-esque shenanigans you expect ensue.

I didn’t like Persuasion as much as Pride and Prejudice, but I liked it a lot more than Emma. It was recommended to me by someone who knows my taste in OTPs, so this book already had me at “eight-year painful separation”, “poor guy makes good and proves himself” and also “sea captains.” It’s not a perfect novel-- Austen keeps trying to hammer home this theme of whether it is better to be strong-willed or persuadable, and it’s like, yes, Jane, we see the name of the book, we get it. Anne and Wentworth are also just a little too perfect; the only conflict of the book is them being not sure the other one still likes them. That’s not the worst thing in the world, though because the supporting cast is bananas.

Walter Elliot is Anne’s dad, and he is the exact flavor of Awful that I love and adore. Not only is he extremely vain, but he is constantly judging people for their physical features. Freckles? No. Ginger? Absolutely not. Sailors? As a rule, hideous. His rant about there were too many uglies in Bath is ::chef’s kiss.:: After Admiral Croft moves in to his house, Anne asks him how he likes it, and he’s like “it’s real nice, but there were so many mirrors in the bedroom, wtf.”

Speaking of which, Adm. and Lady Sophy Croft move into Kellynch Hall. Everyone in the Navy has just come back from the war super rich, and the Crofts rent out the ancestral Elliot home, saving everyone a lot of trouble. Apparently, Sophy just tagged along with the Admiral on all his cruises. She is made of leather and is awesome. Adm. Croft loves tearing ass around the county in his phaeton even though he tips it constantly and Sophy goes with them and they have a great time. These two are #squadgoals and Anne wishes they were her parents. Anne has to ride in the phaeton at one point and Sophy is just “watch out for that pole, dear” the whole time. At one point, Adm. Croft sees a drawing of a ship in a print shop window and complains about how shitty it is for about three pages, has the artist ever even SEEN a ship??

Charles Musgrove is married to Anne’s younger sister Mary, who is A Lot. Charles actually asked Anne to marry him first, but Anne turned him down. Charles is super chill about this. Charles is super chill about everything actual, except for shooting, DO YOU WANT TO GO SHOOTING? An astounding amount of plot gets going by Charles making people go shooting with him, or inviting people over for shooting, or one time they had to come home early from shooting. There’s a part where everyone is in the sitting room, and Charles’ head appears in the window “DOES ANYONE WANT TO GO SHOOTING??” At the end of the book, Wentworth has just sent Anne a love letter and she desperately wants to talk to him, but can’t because Charles is walking her home, and Charles sees Wentworth and shouts “CAN YOU WALK ANNE HOME, THIS GUY SAID I COULD COME LOOK AT HIS GUN AND IT SOUNDED SO SWEET” and then runs off in a little puff of dust. I love this Austen-ian himbo and his hyperfixation.

Some other stuff I loved:

I counted at least five characters in this book named Charles. This is a baller move, characters are hard to name.

Despite Lord Elliot’s diatribe on how leathery sailors are, every sea captain in this book was an absolute dreamboat. For all the doofy-ass side characters, every sea captain was handsome, chill, fun to be around, and thought Anne was super cool. There was the melancholy, poetry-reading sea captain, the happily married sea captain, cool ass Adm. Croft, and of course, Capt. Wentworth himself, hot, rich, sensitive, but chill, and at one point, he holds a baby. This book was Jane Austen’s sea captain thirst tower, and I am here for it. I love a sea captain, especially when he is also a smokeshow.

Carriages. I think it was Anne’s sister Mary who was obsessed with what everyone in this book drove, but they were constantly talking about various kinds of carriages I had never heard of before. I very much enjoyed letting all of this wash over me, even though I could not tell you the difference between a barouche and a landaulette. This is like a modern day romance novel with an unnecessary attention to detail on which Lexus everyone drove and I enjoyed contemplating whether or not Jane Austen would be into Jalopnik if she lived today.

The trip to Lyme. The trip to Lyme was so fun! They took a bunch of walks and saw the sea and stayed at an inn and met all of Capt. Wentworth’s cool sea captain buddies and it would have been the best trip EVER, except at the end, Louisa (the red herring sister-in-law you think Wentworth is gonna get with) jumps off a dune or something and Wentworth fails to catch her and she gets a concussion and everything thinks she’s going to die. You’re just reading along and then this happens and it’s like... wut? What just happened?? BIG YIKES.

There’s some other dude who is Anne’s cousin who wants to marry her and it’s mostly boring, until, three chapters from the end, Anne has been meeting with this old school friend of hers, who is now poor, and Anne’s like “I’m not that into Mr. Elliot, actually” and the friend absolutely GOES OFF on Mr. Elliot and details his Crimes for roughly 15 pages. Wow. Damn, son.

Conclusion: Persuasion slaps, eleven phaetons out of ten.

[corpse-of-bandersnatch]

ship asks 4 and 5/8 for @loathsome-aesthete

My dear, I am sorry (and slightly embarrassed) by the amount of detail I put into answer 5. I know, this is just a ship ask, but you see, I started to think about Alien again and got carried away... there was no turning back.

Ship that is unpopular but you still like

All marines plus Bishop and Ripley from Aliens were one polyamorous family, but some pairings were of a more romantic nature than others. Like Ferro x Bishop or Hudson x Drake. I guess the latter is kind of unpopular, since most people ship Drake with Vasquez (who in my head is bro with Hudson, best bro with Drake and the most brutal match maker between these two oblivious idiots). And I'm probably the only person, who ships Ferro and Bishop, lol.

Ship that you used to have as an OTP

Similar to your answer on that question, dear @loathsome-aesthete, I rarely stop being in a fandom, because I start to dislike it or because I completely lose interest in it. It just fades next to the newest hyperfixation. But it's still important, if just as a part of my past. Often the characters stay dear to my heart, even if I wander of to the next fandom.

So, one OTP from my past: Ferro x Bishop from Aliens

(oh boy, here we go)

We learn in Alien, Alien 4: Resurrection (with the Autons), Prometheus and Alien: Covenant that in the Alien-universe androids are able to develop individualistic thoughts, longings and emotions. I never liked Ridley Scott's explanation, that a machine starts to experience feelings automatically, if you just make it complex enough (that's the simplified version of his statement of course, but this post is not about Scott). For me, that's not an explanation, but the lack of one.

So in my daydreams, androids having emotions started with scientists being curious about the compatibility of the artificial body system and biological substances (or chemicals based on biological substances). Bishop was one of the first test subjects, where the scientists injected just a driblet of chemicals into his system. Nothing happened in the time of these experiments – the scientists concluded, that these chemicals in such a small amount don't have an effect on the artificial body. Though the substances don't degrade either.

The Xenomorphs and the pilot in the spaceship in Alien are examples of lifeforms, that perfectly combine biological and mechanical components in their bodies. So, I thought back then, it would make perfectly sense for them to have substances running through their veins, which make both 'structures' in their bodies work with and in each other.

That's what the scientists tried to achieve with androids ‘back then’, but couldn't make it happen. They were able to include biological substances in an android's system, but not to make the substances effect said system.

BUT if an artificial person, who carries these substances based on human biology in their system, gets exposed to biology from the Xenomorph's planet (you know, that biology that combines organic and mechanical structures and turns them into ONE biomechanical structure), then the biological substances start to interact with the artificial system they are in.

As stated above, I headcanon Bishop being such an android thanks to the experiments. And when he gets exposed to the 'Xenomorph-biology' in the movie, the components in his system start to interact and cause him to feel. This ability to feel doesn't come like an outburst, but evolves slowly.

After the events of Aliens (except for their deaths, which obviously never happen, they all survive in my head), Bishop tells the marines about these weird, new sensations. They bring him to one of the leading scientists, an OC called Erica Rousseau, and she explains, what's happening to him.

So, the marines help their artificial friend to figure things out, he describes what he's feeling and they guess the emotion and help him handling it. Help him with his first feelings of fear, happiness, sadness, anger, shame, longing,.. in their own more or less professional ways. 

Especially Ferro spends more and more time with Bishop, stays at his side, tries to help him reconcile his new ability with his former existence and eventually starts to have romantic feelings for him. He needs years to understand and – in the end – reciprocate her romantic interest.

If you think „Wow that sounds heavily inspired by Data from Next Generation!“ then yeah, it probably is. Unconsciously though, because I watched TNG for the first time when I was around 10-11 years old and didn't remember much of it, when I watched the Alien movies for the first time in my early 20. So I probably had some informations regarding Data stored in my subconsciousness , but didn't use those intentionally as inspiration for my Alien daydreams.

And a final Fun Fact: Bishop is the reason I started watching Star Trek again, back then. I watched TOS and TNG as a kid and than didn't watch Star Trek for a very long time. Bishop re-awakend my interest, because I had a huge crush on him (and a celeb crush on Lance Henriksen) and therefore had a special interest in artificial people. So I thought „I could watch TNG again, didn't do that for more than 10 years and they have that cute Data guy!“ so because of Bishop I wanted to see Data again, and watching TNG dragged me back into Star Trek fandom and I am lost since then. (Because after TNG I watched DS9 and VOY and ENT , rewatched TOS, and continued with Discovery and Picard. So thanks for that, Bishop!)

[roaldseth]

For the ask thing: if no one has given you Roland thats a crime. Aaaand. Gale.

At this point in time—this late in the game—people probably understand that Roland is the default for me when dealing with ask memes, so it’s understandable that askers would want variety and ask about different characters. That, and I don’t typically receive a lot of asks… Unless you meant that statement in a different light. But, don’t be fooled. I am always at the ready for Roland, and always appreciate getting asked about him or sought out for expertise.

FYI AND DISCLAIMER: all answers are in relation to Digital Devil Saga unless stated otherwise. There is a couple of places I very briefly glaze over Quantum Devil Saga, but nothing that could be considered an actual Spoiler is said; no plot points. Considering QDS 3-5 are not translated, I feel a need to address that point, specifically with Roland.

ROLAND:

How I feel about this character

In short: he means a lot to me, more than I could ever try to explain. In length: not to sound like a fictionkin or get personal, but I feel a sense of kinship and understanding—friendship, too, even—with Roland. Although, this is due to the fact I’ve dedicated a lot of my time over years in understanding every possible encompassment. This bonding had grown from a conglomeration of both similarities of situations and years spent with him as a coping mechanism and hyperfixation, so connection and reverence seems like an unsurprising conclusion.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

1) Adil (OTP).

2) Greg, but only under certain circumstances. If his wife is involved, and she is not deceased, I don’t particularly ship Roland and Greg together. However, if the relationship is treated as one-sided (Roland’s side), past romance, comfort in confusion, or similar; then I’ll ship it.

3) Gale. It’s more of a “for fun” ship, since I couldn’t see them in serious, lasting commitment or domesticity, but being paired through their dynamic as two intelligent men tied through Lupa/Greg and Fred is interesting and entertaining.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Adil and Greg, the BrOT3.

My unpopular opinion about this character

A short answer is that Roland was an apt leader and a poor coward. His Avatar wasn’t Indra wrongly.

He doesn’t get the credit he is due. Many of his accomplishments get dismissed because something is stated in word and accepted as is rather than evaluated by his whole. The scripter/translator choosing “Actions speak louder than words” as his dialogue in the moment of a turning point within him is not solely about his loyalty to the Embryon. Its concept is the foundation of his story arch and how it’s framed. Two oppositions clash: the division between what he and others say about him in comparison to what he actually does and accomplishes in canon.

Then, there’s a different answer before I had thought about the leadership comment, which is less of an unpopular opinion, and more of not being a fan of seeing Roland and his drinking caricatured for comedic purposes. If there is one trait that has the possibility of being over exaggerated or backhandedly addressed, it is his alcoholism. I know I’m the one who just stressed that Roland’s story is framed in a specific way and that this part of his character (qualities and constitution) isn’t meant to be the primary focus. However, although his drinking habits is more of a precursor, it’s not something meant to be disregarded either, and separating it apart from his hardships (trauma, grief, stress, anxiety) corrodes its nature and severity. It’s not a punch line, and making it one devalues it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish DDS Roland also had QDS Roland’s background as an EGG Facility employee. Even though his character makes sense as is, it’s very shallow and monochromatic. Having this extra context enriches his place and purpose within the overarching story. Each playable character and the series’ antagonists have ties to the Society in some way—except Roland. Instead, he’s just some random fellow who simply got lucky with surviving that long. If he had this background context, it would be akin to Angel, Sheffield, O’Brien, Real Argilla, etc. It’d simply make more sense.

I also understand that there is the possibility that this particular part of his character was not fully developed by the time Godai left the team and ATLUS finalized how Digital Devil Saga was going to pan out as a video game. However, I am not going to give Tadashi and ATLUS that credit, because the more that this information sat within me, the more I recognized reasoning and logics behind some of the things he says and does.

The game may never have said he was Karma, but it also never said he wasn’t Karma.

GALE:

How I feel about this character

He’s relatable—a steadfast and loyal tactician devoted to his role and service, struggling to understand (his own) emotions, and more readily understands through textbook knowledge. He is cautious with cause, creates conclusions based on the most reliable information, and is not one to trust in chance. Then in Quantum Devil Saga, he over explains and is excessively wordy: a trait I love in him. These points also connect back to generally liking keeper and the-brains-of-the-group type characters.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

1) Lupa.

2) Jenna Angel.

3) Roland. Refer back to the reasoning in the answer for Roland’s section.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Cielo. The two of them have the “one character is fun, energetic, and easygoing; while the other character is strict, static, and steadfast,” which is a good, clichéd combination because it works. They’re opposites that work well—and believably—with each other instead of clashing against each other. Their competition to convince God to revert the world “back to normal” in DDS2 shows how they’ve learned from each other; Gale being more laidback to grandeur and Cielo gaining some seriousness (outside of determination).

My unpopular opinion about this character

The closest thing I can think of is actually a popular fandom opinion, North American and Japanese, but it’s against what the writer has said. From what I’ve seen, Gale’s age is the “[We] recognize the council has made a decision, but given it was a stupid-ass decision, [we’ve] elected to ignore it” of Digital Devil Saga.

An excuse would be that his AI’s model was meant to be 20 years old while David Gale is a separate age, but considering Heat and Serph’s models’ ages match up with O’Brien and Sheffield, I don’t think this was the (intentional) case.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

An answer doesn’t come to mind, so I’ll say I’m happy and content with how Gale was treated.

[Give Me A Character, and I’ll break their ass down; from this meme.]

[tamamatango]

kURURU-

Why I like them: I could sit here for probably 3 hours talking about why Kururu is my favorite character but I’ll keep it shortish. Not only is he hands down one of the goofiest and most hilarious characters on the show but he also has a surprising amount of depth and subtlety to him making him really interesting. He undergoes some noticeable character development over the course of the anime, going from a withdrawn and sorta sadistic guy (though he is still pretty evil all the way through :L) to one of the most expressive characters who actually starts to care about other people. He is also both extremely cool and extremely adorable. And this isn’t even getting into all of the reasons why I personally relate to him!

Why I don’t: Kururu is ALMOST perfect…except he is sadly a big ol perv sometimes and that pisses me off to no end especially since this is the SECOND hyperfixation character of mine in recent years that does this and it makes me really upset to the point where I usually have to stop watching for a few minutes whenever it comes up. (To Kururu’s credit the other character I’m referring to is…much, much worse)

Favorite episode and/or movie scene: I could name like 10 scenes right now but I’ll limit it to some of my top ones: 229b, 112, and the goddamn stupid dark PictoChat thing that got like 100 notes. Oh and all of Musha Kero, he was amazing there.

Favorite season and/or movie: In general, season 3+ Kururu is best Kururu overall. He was a little weak in seasons 1-2 (hell he was my LEAST FAVORITE my first time through until I got to mid season 2 or so, could you even imagine). As for movie, the 3rd one definitely, pretty much no contest. (Honorable mention to movie 5 though)

Favorite line: Too many, but here’s a few: “Mochicourse~!” “What’s wrong with borscht?!” “Why am I burning?” And in a rare moment of actual humor from the Funimation dub: *in response to Keroro and Tamama telling him he’s still a jerk* “Why thank you!”

Favorite outfit: CHIBI. Also the mage outfit from Keroro RPG look at his lil boots

OTP: KuruKero!! Something that didn’t cross my mind until reading the manga but I think it’s the cutest thing. Towards the middle/end of the anime it becomes REALLY obvious that Keroro thinks of him quite a bit differently than he does the others also.

BroTP: Who knows? Not like I have an entire “brotp” tag dedicated to it or anything. Definitely didn’t cry over it either how silly would that be? Hahahaha…….(I could get into why Kururu and Saburo is such an important dynamic to me but we’d be here all day. I like Kururu and Fuyuki also)

Headcanon: I’ve said this in the past but him being autistic-coded is part of the reason he’s my favorite in the first place, so yeah that.

Unpopular opinion: I’m not actually into KuruGiro. I think their relationship would be too strained and admittedly sorta unfair to Giroro. I like to think of them more as argumentative adoptive siblings, especially since Garuru watched over Kururu in the military when he was still a major according to Keroro Land. Also I don’t personally share the somewhat popular HC that Shupepe and Rinono are his siblings, but I don’t mind it.

A wish: I really wish they talked about his family/childhood more; I have my own theories but I would’ve liked some confirmation. Also please have him hang out with Saburo more DAMN IT

An oh-god-please-don’t-ever-happen: Kururu never being told that there are people who love and appreciate him. I mean he’s a jerk and I wanna punch him sometimes but he still deserves to feel loved!

5 words to best describe them: Will laugh at your pain

My nickname for them: HELLBEAST (also any variation of “my boy”, “my son” etc.)

In conclusion: He’s the puppet master that cursed my dick