#except he thinks he is solving problems on purpose

[yuhi-san]

writing is hard and there are so many obstacles thhat i don't even know where to begin listing them but man...

knives is just One Walking Problem™ in every regard now isn't he

actually come to think of it, knives is very much the "causes problems on purpose" to vashs "Causes problems on accident"

[varpusvaras]

More All-Caste/Magic user Jason because I can't stop thinking about him.

Ya'll know for a fact that he isn't telling anyone about it. He knows very well what Batman thinks of metas and magic in Gotham, and he's already in too much trouble with him, so he just doesn't say anything. And besides, it is not their business, anyway.

But magic just does. not. stay. out. of. Gotham. And most of the time it's the type of thing that they would need Jason to deal with it, anyway, or Bruce would have to call for Zatanna or worse yet, Constantine, to deal with it instead, and Jason is sure that if either of them even looks at his general direction they are going to know. Zatanna might keep her mouth shut, but Constantine? Absolutely not.

So every time Jason gets even a sniff of something magical going on, he is on it instantly. There. Problem solved, and no one is the wiser. Everything is good.

Except. When someone deals with magic that quickly and that efficiently, it also creates a pattern. All things that are magical are starting to figure out that something is going on in Gotham. Whatever or whoever goes there never lasts for longer than a day. It's a curiosity, a mystery, and many beings want to solve it.

So now there is Gotham and Jason, and they have a reputation. And things just. keep. coming. And now they are seeking out whatever it is that deals with magic in Gotham on purpose, and Jason is getting really fed up.

Then he goes against a stronger foe, and calls up the All-Blades, and everything really goes up in flames after that. Because now the rumors are going even harder. That there is an All-Caste in Gotham. An All-Caste? Aren't they all wiped out? Apparently not. They gotta see it now for themselves.

So it is all going splendidly, one might say. Jason is not the one saying so.

But. Rumors are...finnicky. Especially when it comes to Gotham and its residents. And especially when it comes to the powers at play there. The city is guarded by the Bat. The man who trained with the League of Assassins, the man who has gone against enemies with earth-shattering powers and won. The Dark Knight himself.

So that has to be him. The Heir to the All-Caste.

So now every other week there's some Magic User coming to challenge the Protector of Gotham. And the Batman keeps beating them without ever using the All-Blades. This is shattering so many egos of so many Magic Users. They weren't even worthy of seeing the Blades! That's the most devastating part.

And Bruce is sitting in the Cave and trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Why are all of these people coming in all of a sudden, wanting to fight him? What did he do? He doesn't remember going against someone noteworthy in quite some time. There has to be something, and he can't put his finger on it and it frustrates him.

All the kids are throwing every kinda theory at him, except Jason, who is standing in the background, hoping that if he justs. stays completely still. they can't see him.

[psformybss]

drew starkey x actress!reader

series masterlist

— drew starkey who… used to think he could keep work and emotions separate. Show up, hit his marks, be chill with the cast, and move on. But then she walked into the readthrough, sharp-eyed, sarcastic, too smart for her own good and made him forget every rule he swore by.

— drew starkey who… said she was a bad fit for the show before he even gave her a chance. Told someone in passing that her character felt “forced.” Thought she’d be another spotlight-chaser with something to prove. But when she looked him dead in the eye and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not here to be your fan,” he knew he’d misjudged her. And it pissed him off.

— drew starkey who… couldn’t stop thinking about her after that first table read. Not because he liked her, he didn’t. Not then. It was the way she challenged him. Interrupted him. Matched him line for line and still made him look like the immature one. She was a problem. And for some reason, he liked problems.

— drew starkey who… tried to be distant, tried to keep it professional, but she made that impossible. She roasted him in front of the whole cast during truth or dare and somehow made it funny and accurate and brutal all at once. He laughed, sure but later he couldn’t sleep. All he could hear was her voice mimicking his. All he could see was the smirk she gave after.

— drew starkey who… started noticing the way her laugh cracked a little when she was tired. The way she stayed late to run lines even when she said she hated being around him. The way his name sounded different when she was annoyed like she could spit it or kiss it. It messed with his head. Made him wish things were different. Made him wonder if they could be.

— drew starkey who… told himself it was just chemistry. Just two good actors with natural friction. But then she cried during a scene and he felt it in his chest. Not the script. Her. And when she walked off set that day, shaken and silent, he followed. And when she finally let him kiss her, it felt like everything before that moment had just been noise.

— drew starkey who… now brings her coffee before call times, even when they’re not speaking. Sends her stupid memes just to get a reaction. Feels like he’s falling every time she calls him out, smiles at him sideways, or sits too close on purpose. She drives him insane but he doesn’t want peace if it means losing her.

— drew starkey who… doesn’t care what people say. Doesn’t care about rumors, press, or PR chaos. She’s the reason every scene feels real now. The reason his trailer feels empty without her in it. He used to think he was better off guarded. Detached. But now? Now he knows, he was just waiting for her.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　

— actress!reader who… walked into Outer Banks thinking it’d just be a job. A cool opportunity, a fun cast, maybe some good scenes. She didn’t expect Drew Starkey to be cold, distant, and rude from day one. She definitely didn’t expect him to get under her skin the way he did.

— actress!reader who… heard him call her character “forced” behind her back before they’d even spoken two words to each other. Who smiled through introductions but never forgot the way his eyes skimmed over her like she was a problem, not a person. Fine, she thought. If he wanted to act like she didn’t belong, she’d make sure he felt her presence every time she walked on set.

— actress!reader who… fought with him over blocking and tone during their very first scene. Who stood her ground when the director had to step in. Who left rehearsal fuming more times than she could count but still caught herself rewinding moments between them in her head. Because the chemistry? It was there. Even when she hated him.

— actress!reader who… made a joke at his expense during a cast truth-or-dare game and had the whole table crying laughing except him. Who pretended not to notice the way he looked at her after, like she was a puzzle he suddenly couldn’t solve. Like she was fire and he’d just touched it.

— actress!reader who… started catching feelings in the worst, slowest, most inconvenient way. Not in the big, dramatic moments but in the small ones. When she caught him staring during a readthrough. When he sent her a dumb meme late at night just to get a reaction. When he defended her, quietly, to someone who doubted her. That’s when she knew she was screwed.

— actress!reader who… kissed him backstage after an emotional scene, breathless and still shaking, and told herself it didn’t mean anything. That it was adrenaline. That it was acting. But his hands didn’t feel like acting. The way he whispered her name didn’t feel like acting. Nothing between them ever really did.

— actress!reader who… tried to stay professional, but kept finding excuses to be near him. Kept finding comfort in the soft way he said “you good?” between takes. In the silence that wasn’t awkward anymore. In the way he’d start to say something, stop himself, then say it anyway, just for her.

— actress!reader who… spent months pretending not to care, only to realize she always did. And now? Now she steals his hoodies, rolls her eyes when he brings her coffee, roasts him in group chats and still texts him good luck before every big scene. They still argue but now they argue like people who know they’ll always come back to each other.

an: sooo i changed my mind it’s not gonna be a chapter kinda fic mostly cause i dont have the attention span for that rn 😭

taglist: @happy-mushrooms

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Drops this without any warning

A compilation of all of my prime bros headcannons that I could think of put together over the course of a few months👍👍

———

Sails

-one that is practically cannon to me now; he's is missing his right ear

-he likes making little wood carvings and insists on doing most of them with a sword instead of a knife or a dagger just to be extra (it backfires on his hands most of the time.) His favorite ones to make are models of ships

-generalist but hes the most skilled in woodwork and sea vessel maintnance

-has a beautiful singing voice but rarely uses it and instead opts to sing awfully on purpose.

-will not pass up an opportunity to literally "give you a hand" if you ask and he thinks its funny, but do not funking mess with his prosthetic unless allowed, you will go to sleep with less fingers than you woke up with

-knows how to juggle. No reason for this one I just think Sails knows a bunch of useless but cool party tricks (now there's ripe potential to make this angsty, but I shan't. Not yet.)

-ok so him and Mangey stumbled upon the third episode of Ninjago and rebuilt the Angel's Voyage and it flies now. Don't worry abt it

-insufferable when it comes to any sort of table or card games. He will crush you and play you for an idiot. Somehow, no one can ever prove hes cheating even when he absolutely is. The only one who has enough experience and same low blow tactics, and as such can stand up to him, is Tails

-speaking of which, being annoying is his biggest weapon and also favorite love language. Trust that you will know if the annoying is affectionate or meant to drive you insane (derogatory) though

-adrenaline seeker and worse one than Sonic honestly. Having multiple near death experiences in a single day awakened something in him and by god will he make it everyone else's problem

-his favorite to rile up are Nine and the various Knuckles for obvious reasons and usually clowns on them in the end

-hes also the one you go to if you need to properly get through to Nine and Sonic failed or is unavailable. No one really knows how he does that.

-also loves blowing shit up, explosives are his favorite thing ever

-naps whenever and where ever, most likely outside in the shade of a palm tree either under or in his hammock.

——

Mangey

-NOT stinky or mangy alright, he takes grooming very seriously, he maintains a mohawk of all things like come on!!

-except during the whole friendship breakup exile and purposeful starvation thing between Prim and Thorn, he didn't have acces to water to clean properly and he does not like the feeling of being dirty (holy shit the scavengers were under constant sun with no food or water for God knows how long meanwhile Thorn was suffering from vitamin D deficiency they fucked up fr fr)

-autism be damned my boy figured out how to work the grill (I cannot explain this one beyond do NOT give him access to any sort of fire. And do not tell Sails. By god do not tell Sails.)

-loves those little "impossible to solve" puzzles and especially rubix cubes, he usually gets the hang of everything in under two minutes but it keeps him entertained endlessly

-also loves taking apart things and see how they work and often attempts to replicate the mechanism within in another form. Problem is, not every time he considers if the thing is important or dangerous before he guts it, resulting in... a few incidents, and a lot of calming breathing exercises for Tails

-not a big fan of flat digital interfaces, he needs buttons and levers and stuff

-he wears mismatched black and white gloves (to match Nine!!) and actually gets proper lime green shoes he sometimes wears but prefers not to. He likes the simple familiar leaf shoes he crafted himself

-you know those little simplistic wooden toy trains with train tracks? Sails carves them and Mangey assembles them into increasingly convoluted tracks all over the place. If they get really lucky they can also convince Nine to paint them (which he both hates and loves because by god can he not hold his hands steady but more on that later) There's a whole Rube Goldberg machine set in place involving the track. What it does and how it's triggered varies on a weekly basis.

-really strong sense of hearing and smell due to which he gets overstimulated easily and has headaches often, especially if hes in an area hes not used to.

-speaking of smell, he can not only tell where but How Much food there is, so lies of "sorry this was my last one" will never work, he knows

-he can pretty easily pick up on weather changes, sometimes with the same accuracy as Tails' forecast

-terrified shitless of thunder and lightning, and while it's fairly easy to calm him down, he's unfortunately even easier to startle and not so surprisingly agile

-doesn't have any particular strong feelings abt his tails since people were displeased with him as a Whole and he dissapeared into the jungle before any of that hatered could stick. He likes them because they're a good blanket :]

-hates conflict of any capacity because that just reminds him of Thorn and Prim and the fallout of their falling out, which is why it's for the best to NOt let him witness Shadow and Sonic in close proximity cuz boy Will be UPSET and no matter what you can't explain it to him that they're just gay like that

- he also naps wherever he wants whenever he wants, ussually in a warm and hidden place such as a pile of sun warmed blankets or moss under a tree. Please always dutifully check the dryer before starting it, double check if it was recently used.

——

Nine

-also cannon to me, he's declawed in his left hand and those metal tips serve as a prosthetic so he can actually grip things properly. The same goes for his right wrist that was shattered weirdly once and now needs to be reinforced

-the weird green glowing thing on his right hand he uses as a communicator later in the series is a fucked up looking watch (I was also thinking there's some connection between it and his metal tails since they have the same poison yellow glow but i don't know enough technical lingo to explain myself)

-prefers to stay indoors for all accounts, but loves to star gaze and chill outside at night. Mangey often silently joins him or is the one to drag him outside in the first place. Tell no one else abt this though

-cannot handle literally any spice in his food and he actually nearly died the first time Tails cooked for him since adding chili was just muscle memory and he didn't even think to ask

-but it urns out Nine likes food even more than Mangey which is, concerning, to some people. Always with a snack in hand and eating something, he especially loves fruit. Bro got an apple for the first time in his life and cried (canon I imagined it real hard)

-after the whole prism debacle he was left with some hefty nerve damage and now has fine motor issues, and regular. And has frequent migranes which pisses him off to no end

-actually gets some color into his wardrobe, since he no longer needs to camouflage all the time. His fashion sense is literally just a shirt and pants anyway

-On the off chance he goes into public and someone addresses him there is a tiny gender confusion. This will not have any internal ramifications for her whatsoever

-his nose is absolutely jacked, and so are his lungs. This will also not cause any further concerns either

-Do not fucking touch his tails ever. Mechanical or organic. He will kill you.

-if he let's you touch his tails, congratulations, he will kill and die for you.

-avoided Tails, Knuckles and Rouge like the plague for the first few months he moved in Into green hill for, obvious reasons.

-surprisingly close to Shadow actually??? When did that happen no one really knows

-graffiti!! He does graffiti and paints!!! Him and Sonic take random nights off and commit artistic vandalism on the most hard to reach surfaces for the avarge person. Nine also gloats over Tails and his lacking impressionist artistic skill

-but he's never drawn a blueprint physically and just used a digital program, so it evens out

-actually has a somewhat stable sleep schedule, unfortunately the time dilation between the Shaterspaces makes it seem like he doesn't

-in the event he falls unconscious/asleep his mechanical tails form a silly little cage around him and strike at anything that gets too close. He usually gets to bed before sleeps but in the event he chonks out on his table? Yea no one is getting him from there without having to wake him up first.

[actual-changeling]

i feel like all my meta posts just clicked and solved a puzzle in my brain. however i am also currently upping my sleep med dosage so if any of this sounds like the incoherent rambles of a mad man it's cause i am. incoherent and insane and rambling that is. (not a man)

but i have to write this post since i had a lightbulb realization moment.

because the thing is, besties, that aziraphale is a fucking horrible liar. he gets nervous and fidgety, he stutters, you can SEE him sweating anxiety. just look at him in the bookshop when the archangels inquire about their not-so-little 25 lazarii miracle.

his best "lies" are when he is actually telling the truth but twisted. he has never been a good liar (see job) and that has not changed in six thousand years. all smiles directed at archangels are visibly wrong, his discomfort is tangible.

whenever he panics it is written across his face clear as day, including, and this is the important bit, when he is talking to the metatron.

now, you are wondering why exactly that matters, and the point is something we have all talked and thought about for ages but my brain just. formed some new neural pathways.

because he is a terrible liar, he is horrible at hiding his emotions.

but you know who isn't?

crowley.

unless you know him, it is very hard to read his facial expressions with his glasses on. he can turn his emotions "off", he can put a wall in front of them and by extension around himself.

i talked about it more in this post, so for background info have a look at it (if you want to)

it's crowley's thing yet there is one moment, one, glorious moment in which aziraphale executes it perfectly. and that moment mirrors crowley putting on his glasses, it is aziraphale attempting to hide away all of his feelings and thoughts so no one can tell what he is really thinking.

the parallels besties. the fucking parallels.

what really sells it to me is that last comparison because it matches too well to not be intentional. honestly, after the sink story i think every little thing in this show is done on purpose and with attention to detail, so.

the empty look, the heartbreak, the pain - the realization. this is it. i am not walking away from this unharmed but i am walking away. or rather into the loneliness, the absence of the person i love.

for aziraphale also the realization that the world is about the get fucked and he is not.

after that we have the inhale of courage. taking a deep breath to calm yourself, to find your way back to your body. a kind of preparation we have all done at one point or another.

the mask slides into place. or at least you want it to slide into place, you are trying to fucking jam it into the spot you need it to be but sometimes it's like trying to push the square peg through the round hole.

it's a disconnect, it's putting up a physical and emotional wall. crowley does it to hide away from aziraphale.

aziraphale does it hide from heaven and the metatron, yes, but he does it to hide from himself. at his core, aziraphale compartmentalizes. he is so fucking good at cognitive dissonance it's scary, and that's what happens here.

he knows, he KNOWS, that he needs to lock up his feelings or he won't be able to get into that fucking lift and do what he thinks he needs to do.

and so he walks away from crowley just like crowley walked away from him, copying him and doing exactly what he has seen him do a thousand times: putting up wall after wall after wall. ripping out every sprout of vulnerability before it can bloom.

except that he stopped doing it after the no-pocalypse, and that is why it hurts so fucking badly when he puts his glasses back on.

he is not ripping out a sprout, he is uprooting an entire fucking tree

aziraphale cannot hide behind sunglasses by crowley so he hides underneath an angelic persona, the person he thinks he should be, needs to be, and the problem is that whenever he slips into that role, it becomes him.

getting crowley to take off his glasses again is going to be a herculean task and the same goes for getting aziraphale to drop his act. they're one and the same in shape and origin and purpose but they are not indestructible.

because listen. all of this is painful and it hurts. it really is.

the fun part, however, is the fact that we know exactly what it takes to destroy that barrier, we have seen it happen to crowley before.

my point is that we are missing the parallel for said destruction.

[rxzennia]

selfish atonement

– requested. 

✎𓂃 executing your duty perfectly, until it’s not so heavy anymore. less romance, a lot of lore. mandatory shoutout to @st4rrth0ughts and their bodyguard reader & oc. i really searched up oswaldo for this pls enjoy (i tried to cook but i might’ve burnt it y'all)

ever since oswaldo’s expedition on aeragan-epharshel, you’ve become certain of one thing – he is a brilliant businessman; the epitome of a profitable business. regardless of the mostly negative emotions you felt while you undertook missions under his orders, you could at least admit that he brought unparalleled results to the ipc. 

but, well, it does not take a good man to make a good businessman.

this marks the third amber era after your departure from the marketing development department… no, your departure from the ipc as a whole. you’ve changed your name, got yourself a new appearance, and distanced yourself from oswaldo’s name.

you’ve since become a sellsword who answers only to your current client

you’ve chosen to not have your loyalty freely auctioned off to the wealthy precisely because of your history with oswaldo

aka, you’re done with the type of problems that can be solved with money, and you don’t want to be someone that can be easily bought with money, either

not in the sense that money won’t make you more likely to take a job, but in the sense that money won’t bribe you away from any ongoing duties

that’s enough about you and your standards

in any case, your history with the ipc (that you’ve manipulated a little) has been very helpful in landing you jobs

and at this point, you’ve got a nice word of mouth going on for you that you don’t need to bring up that history anymore

who would’ve thought that you’d end up in the ipc again?

this time as a temporary guard for one of the ten stonehearts

you don’t know what possessed someone like diamond to ask for you, because you’re pretty sure he knows about your previous involvement with the ipc

and also, what the fuck does the ten stonehearts need a bodyguard for?

you’d pay a million credits to bet that diamond just wanted someone to be surveillance

but hey, a client is a client, so you agree to meet the one you’re supposedly “protecting”

you walk into the room, and immediately you want to walk out. diamond is doing this on purpose, he’s gotta be, he’s got to have done a background check on you and still decided to choose violence.

you come face to face with aventurine, and you thank all the aeons out there that you’ve made the decision to wear a mask whenever you’re out. you don’t know if diamond had briefed him on you or not, but judging by how warily civil he is, it doesn’t seem so. 

just so we’re clear, you were far too green to be directly involved when oswaldo launched his sigonia-iv project. while you did tag along on these trips and treaty signings, you have no personal involvement there except standing there like a statue and watching your superiors hammer out a treaty or something. unlike in aeragan-epharshel. where you were one of the combat pilots. oh, that’s another can of worms altogether.

at least he can’t see your expression right now as you shake hands

at least he doesn't hear your erratically beating heart

you introduce yourselves, and you bow out of habit

impression points +100 (your starting score is -10000)

that’s basically how you ended up involved with the ipc again

ugh, you just can’t leave them in the past, can you?

although, in your defense, they’re everywhere, and you can’t possibly turn down a job with such luxurious pay

so, now, instead of the marketing development department, you’re in the strategic investment department. diamond is also a good businessman, but… the ten stonehearts have such a weird dynamic. they’re all tangled together with office politics, yet share one authority figure that they ultimately obey – something you haven’t bothered to think about when you were last in the ipc. and something you won’t bother thinking about, because the mere thought of corporate makes you want to dig yourself into a hole.

in any case, your constant meddling in aventurine’s daily affairs begins today. he’s quite a guarded man, and you have no idea what diamond wants you to do by putting you next to him practically 24/7, but oh well, you’re getting paid.

you settle into a routine surprisingly quickly, and he doesn’t seem to mind your presence all that much

alarmed? yes. mildly annoyed that diamond put a walking tracker on him? also yes. 

dislike your presence? kinda (not really). 

at least he knows you won’t betray him for as long as your contract is in effect

even if you answer directly to diamond, you were tasked to watch over him

which means that you will execute your assigned duty to guard him and strictly only that duty

(truly, your reputation precedes you)

but what is worrying is how swiftly you can change sides the moment your contract expires

well, a problem for tomorrow. diamond’s got you leashed for a year.

he does run a background check on you himself

not that he doesn’t trust that diamond hadn’t vetted you, he just wants to know what sort of person he is now stuck with

guess who found out your name is probably fake but can’t find your real name

because he could only trace your name so far, and anything beyond that point is blank

the discoveries will shock you!! top 10 most scary facts you didn’t know 

all he got was a full report from your first job to this one

anything about your past before your current alias is completely untraceable

not that he intends to ask anyway; you haven’t given him any reason to dig further (yet)

he keeps an eye out for you though

even if he’s not suspicious of you at the moment, that could change in the blink of an eye

aventurine is surprised at how loyal you are to him. you’re under diamond’s orders, but you’re surprisingly putting in a lot to protect him. and to look after him.

to you, it’s just your job… and a selfish, twisted sort of repentance. it’s a thought you intend to take with you to the grave.

you’re not obligated to wake him up or bring him breakfast, but you do anyway

which, he realizes that you must’ve woken up like at least two hours before him

you coordinate his schedule with his assistant so that he doesn’t make pointless trips to five different locations just to end up at the same one twice

you, quite literally, hover over him

yes, even at huge conferences, you’re tailing him like his shadow

some kinda scary dog privilege going on

but of course, you give him space whenever he requires it and keep him within your sights instead

so far so good

but you know what spooks him still? 

that you get pissed when someone makes any nasty passing remark at him

no, you are not a feral street cat that scratches anyone who wrongs you (him)

what you do is you give them a scary confrontation

or you pick them out and lodge a complaint with their superiors afterwards, if they aren’t the top dog

one time he got his hands on a report that you’re writing

aeons, you blow it out of proportion without lying 

you like to call it a suitable amount of embellishing 

then you pull a lot of emotional appealing according to the opponents' company policy

which usually results in some sort of disciplinary action that is actually pretty satisfying to see

but also

damn, you’re merciless 

and also very adept at business talk

trust +100, doubt +25

(shady mercenary for hire with far too much experience type doubt)

you’re as good of a bodyguard as aventurine can get, especially for someone he didn’t hire himself… 

he quite likes you, actually! because how many people do you think asked him something like “why do you need a bodyguard” to his face? none! you’re as entertaining as they come. 

and so he finds joy in his boring executive work by pestering you

you know that, but you put up with him

in fact, this guy is so one of a kind that you don’t even feel pestered

you sometimes even drink with him

whenever he offers, of course, because you’re not too interested in drinking

you drink moderately on the job, but c’mon, when are you not on the job

okay, maybe when he’s just chilling in his office or in the hotel and not going anywhere

then there’s competitive drinking where he tries to coax you into talking about yourself by making you down shots

and guess who’s wasted every time? not you

“mr aventurine?” you ask, nudging the unconscious man next to you. “sir? earth to mr aventurine? hello?”

his empty glass of whiskey on the table, his face slightly flushed as he snoozes away on the table… yeah, it does not look comfy at all.

you sigh, he’s giving you more work again, and you carefully hoist him from the table. 

when he comes to again, he finds himself in his own room

his head hurts so much

he notices that he hasn’t changed from his usual attire – only his coat and accessories are taken off

okay, and the top button of his shirt is undone

did you bring him back? 

as always, you don’t even bother to change him

he sighs, you’re really not very good at reading signs

because he’s done this multiple times! and he’s whined about not being changed after!

more like you did notice but you choose not to do what he wants

that’s crossing a line in your books

and your books is something you stick to like you’re obsessed

at least you left him water and hangover medicine on the nightstand

why does he feel like you’re deliberately keeping him at arm’s length?

it’s been a while and you two have spent so much time together, yet you’re still a stranger to him

not even acquaintances 

like… like, you don’t initiate conversation when you’re watching him

both when he’s going somewhere (requires actual protecting) and chilling at home (does not require actual protecting)

and even after so many late night drinking sessions, he still hasn’t seen you without your mask

mainly because you’ve never been drunk enough for him to sneak a peek, but still

aventurine doesn’t know how to express affection. platonically, romantically, in general, pretty much. so he tries to do the one thing he does best, splurging. and he tries to splurge on you, because he’s intrigued and wants to make buy a friend, but…

but you don’t let him splurge on you! you don’t even let him give you gifts! he only knows how to win affection by spending money on others! 

sometimes he feels like you stick too strictly to your duties

just like his other subordinates… you take orders far too well

he’s tried to give you trinkets, designer clothes, even limited snacks

all of which were returned to him within 24 hours

though, with the snacks, you take it if he offers you a piece or two when he’s already opened it

and you let him treat you to coffee occasionally. very occasionally.

he eventually figures out that it’s a matter of principles

but what principles, exactly? you’re a sellsword, for aeon’s sake

he thought those are the people who have absolutely no principles???

anyway, won’t stop him from trying

“mr aventurine…” you pinch the bridge of your nose as you see the bags stacked on your desk. “i remember telling you that souvenirs are unnecessary.”

“what’s wrong with them?” aventurine laments dramatically. “i’ve picked out only the finest for you!”

you don’t deserve it, you think, but you don’t say that, of course

you don’t even know of his lifelong grudge towards oswaldo

you just know that you had a hand in the extinction event

not like hand hand, but you watched it happen… it doesn’t sit well with you

besides, you have the blood of almost an entire civilization on your hands

if you think too hard about it, the image of flames and carnage overlap with what is in front of you

then, you envision the records of sigonia that you’ve read through in the past

and everything blurs together, your actions, your inaction, and your unwavering loyalty that led you to not raise a single question at all

you squeeze your eyes shut tightly and purge the images from your mind

you are currently here, in the present

“i can’t take them.” you reply, finally, shaking your head. “it’s inappropriate for our standing. especially since there’s no reason for you to be gifting me so many things out of nowhere.”

“what, i can’t be nice to my bodyguard?” aventurine pouts as he sorts the bags in height order. “i’ve got a limited edition tie, an antique phonograph, a discontinued mug, some rare natural color ink for your fountain pen, a pure cashmere sweater–”

“that’s… that’s enough, sir.” you raise a hand to cut him off. “i don’t think i can accept any of them, really.”

aventurine makes a face, then pulls out a bag from the end of the queue. “fine, fine. what about this, at least? assorted cookies from an artisan bakery, using only the best ingredients sourced from all over the cosmos?”

you stare at that bag as you feel the expectant stare from your boss

maybe… maybe one out of these dozens of bags is fine

you’ve gotta think about his feelings too, after you’ve rejected so many gifts

you reluctantly, carefully take the bag and say a small “thank you”

you don’t want his fascination with you to develop any more than what he’s already showing…

but you also know that it’s not up to you

so what is up to you is drawing a line that you won’t allow him to cross

for his sake, and for your own… 

if he keeps pushing, you should keep pushing back

keyword should

but can you?

aeons, you truly are selfish

wouldn’t it have been better to keep everything professional from the very beginning?

it’s okay. you only have a little more than half a year to go before you’re no longer obligated to be here. you’ll run away before aventurine catches on, like how you ran away from your past.

it’s okay. it’s just been a few months, there’s still more than half a year’s worth of time. before you part ways, there are still chances to get to know you better. perhaps even time to become friends, in the most literal sense of the word.

and maybe by the end of it, “you” will reach a satisfactory conclusion.

[oldandcrusty]

Religious imperialism: the RPG

This is the third installment in my series on institutional change in the Dragon Age series. If you'd like, feel free to read my Origins and DA2 posts.

When it comes to institutional change, there are a lot of angles I could tackle in Dragon Age: Inquisition. A frequent theme I see discussed is the way the inquisition absorbs the inquisitor. I already have given my two cents on that, and I don't think it fits what this series is about - the institutional change narrative the games weave.

For this post, I'm focusing on the institutional power the Inquisition rapidly garners. I might make more posts focusing on other elements - like the Red Jennies and Iron Bull's arc with the Qun. I might even do some Cullen Hating Hours, who knows!

Corypheus: the Uniter

The first Inquisition had a massive impact on religious and governmental institutions, because gave rise to the Seekers and Templars. The Divine thus became the head of a theocratic institution with an abundance of resources and a large military.

After the mage rebellion, Divine Justina wanted to revive an Inquisition in the event that the Conclave went awry. This would give her the ability to raise an army separate from existing religious and government forces, which she no longer had absolute control over.

We will never know what an Inquisition without Corypheus' presence would have yielded. Its purpose would have been to unite people, but I suspect its unifying would have looked more like subjugation through violence, coercion, and political intrigue.

In truth, it was Corypheus who united people. He, the Big Bad, made people from all races, nations, religions, and backgrounds want to support the Inquisition, as the Inquisition held the one individual who could defeat Corypheus. And, with such a simple message (help us and we'll literally save the world), it made it relatively easy for the Inquisition to gain widespread support, claim resources, and gain power.

This echoes real world examples of the use of declarations of emergency. Such decrees give governments greater powers to make swift decisions, at the risk of eroding human rights and democracy. It is meant to be used in exceptional cases, such as in wartime or during deadly outbreaks. However, it is commonly abused by governments to centralise decision making. It is an effective way to create dictatorships, for example when the Nazi party used this exact tactic in 1933 to take away democratic processes.

Post-Corypheus

Although the Inquisition starts off with a goal to curtail a very real emergency, it remains long after this problem is solved. What also remains is its sweeping powers. All those flags you raised in the Inquisition's name are land, buildings, and resources the Inquisition still owns. Furthermore, the new Divine is a member of your inner Circle, and whoever is ruling Orlais is doing so because you allow them to. You have immense power over Orlais, Fereldan, and the Chantry.

In Trespasser, Teagan points out that this is similar to what the Wardens did to Ferelden. Some fans have said that Teagan would never say this because of the fifth Blight. But he is a pragmatic person who saw the Warden and Alistair as allies and not puppets of Orlais. Of course he would be friendly with and trust them, and be wary of the Inquisition.

That being said, more so than in previous games, you can have a real impact on the injustices the world faces. For example, if you make Leliana the Divine, she will allow all races to have positions of power in Chantry and give mages freedom. Yay! Right?

These protections are top-down in implementation and ordered by a theocratic military force with highly centralised power. Regardless of who you pick to be Divine, your Inquisition would have made the Chantry stronger and more authoritarian.

There is some dialogue discussing this concept of top-down versus bottom-up - examples include Solas lambasting Sera for not formalising the Red Jennies, and Vivienne telling Blackwall that his attempts to help people are meaningless and change can only occur from the top. However, when looking at the entire narrative of the game, it frequently portrays change as having to be top-down.

The Inquisition turns Southern Thedas into a place where diversity wins (if you're Andrastian), and people can live in peace (on land owned by the Inquisition). Your inquisitor's choices, background, and beliefs do not alter this. If you disband the Inquisition, at least that weakens it, but it morphs into a more shadowy force. It is still plucking the strings of nations and the Chantry.

I personally wish that the game did not frame the Inquisition as positively as it did. There are not many opportunities to reckon with the impact of a religious imperialist force occupying land, taking resources, and choosing who gets to sit on thrones. Perhaps this is my perspective as a person in from Global South coming out, but that is why the game is actually quite disturbing to me, in an eerie cult-like way. Like is no one else seeing what's happening? Why is no one screaming with me? (Note that I have hundreds of hours on it, I do really enjoy it!)

Anyway, by the end of the game, the institutions of Southern Thedas are in an interesting position. I am excited to see what happens next! There is real potential to explore the other side of institutional change - the bottom-up, grassroots, radical incrementalist way. Surely they won't burn all that potential down in Veilguard just to factory reset the franchise! :D

Oh.

[zephyrspace]

even if you have a rosary, who will save you now?

gn!yuu, very short headcanons + scenarios

summary: yuu accepts that there is no way home and that the world will keep turning no matter what. with no worth to their name and no real purpose in this twisted wonderland, except for solving other people’ problems, they decide to stop caring.

cw: swearing, violence, blood. dm me if i’ve missed anything!

a/n: title is translated lyrics from the song US by ruby ibarra. imagine yuu as however and whoever you want!

“woe is me, prefect! i just have so much paperwork to do that i completely forgot about your weekly food allowance. however, to speed things up a bit, if you lend me a hand here, i could probably get the allowance before the end of next week!”

yuu slinks over to one of crowley’s stacks of paperwork and ruffles through it. not without noticing how some pages were completely blank, ‘probably to bulk up and exaggerate the stack,’ yuu thinks and their eye twitches.

crowley gulps at being caught. but neither of the two say anything about it.

“i’m sure at your grown age you’re supposed to be able to manage your time better than this, but of course i didn’t expect anything from you.” yuu throws the binded document carelessly over their shoulder and onto the floor.

“wha-”

“as a minor under your care, this kind of thing could be considered child labour and abuse. especially for not prioritising my allowance.”

“but, prefect-”

“in other words, this isn’t my problem, bird shit for brains. so, unless you want me to call whatever magical bullshit equivalent you have of child protective services you have in this world, go ahead, give me your work documents. i would be ever so happy to oblige.”

the prefect’s eyes were icy and the atmosphere in the office turned chilly. crowley attempts to smarten up and clears his throat.

“i will have the cheque ready before noon.”

looking down at crowley, yuu sends him a smile with no trace of warmth.

“that’s better.”

unhinged!yuu wouldn’t actively seek out to fight people unless students do it to them first, which is all the time. kind of like ‘i’m nice to you if you are to me. but the second i deem you an enemy, you’re done’ mindset.

those who knew and were ‘friends’ with yuu, didn’t believe in their newly acquired attitude at the beginning, but after a group decided it’d be funny to poke at yuu a bit during lunch, that’s when they realise that yuu was serious about not caring for anything at all.

“oi, magicless runt.”

taking a bite from their sandwich, yuu looks up at the senior holding a tray of food, “hm?”

“get up.” the senior’s friends behind him snicker.

“why?” they take another bite. ‘i wish adeuce and grim would hurry up with their food.’ yuu thinks.

“there’s no more seats.”

“mhm?”

“as your seniors, we get priority.” the senior’s smile widens.

“hm.” another bite. “ish that shou”

with crumbs and sauce at the corners of their lips, yuu wipes it off with their thumb and licks it. they gulp down the remainder of the sandwich.

“sorry, senior. but i don’t see that rule anywhere in the canteen.” they swipe off the leftover crumbs on their hands.

“i thought you’d might say that.”

the senior picks up a bowl from his tray and dumps soup onto yuu’s head.

it’s still boiling hot.

it hurts.

“scram, first year. before i do something worse-”

the senior is on the floor, on his knees and doesn’t realise blood is seeping from his nose until it drips onto the tile.

by now, the whole canteen is silent.

he doesn’t even get time to process what happened until he feels a shin connect with his side and launches him onto another nearby table, his legs dangling off the side, uniform ruined.

“why you-” one of his goonies attempt to throw a punch back at the prefect.

yuu grabs his wrist and used the momentum to throw the senior onto his back. he chokes on the impact.

the rest of the group stays at their spots. ‘smart choice,’ yuu scoffs.

the prefect walks over to the first senior lying against the now abandoned table and grabs whatever food was on the nearest plate and forcibly stuffs it into the senior’s mouth. a whole bread roll.

“oh, senior! i see you’ve found a table to sit at!” the senior had tears along his waterline from the gag reflex of having a whole roll of bread in his mouth.

yuu shoves the bread roll further down the seniors throat. twisting and turning it. the senior makes sounds of retching and pain. “although, preferably, it’d be better to sit on the seat rather than on the table, no?”

the senior could only nod at yuu’s words.

yuu pats his hair demeaningly.

“good boy.”

in essence, yuu becomes very assimilated to nrc. scarily so.

[beloveds-embrace]

Just wanna preface this by saying this isnt a request, just some brain worms i wanted to share 💚

So i've been reading your designationless!reader au and it got me thinking about A/B/O aus as a whole and specifically about pack dynamics so enjoy!!

John's the alpha of the 141 pack - no doubt about that in my mind. He's strong and sturdy, able to handle everyone's needs and his own. But he does often get lost in his head at night, relying on the pack to keep him grounded. When they're all together, he doesn't need to be the rock 24/7, he's allowed to have his weakened moments as well. And that's just as a person - as an alpha he takes care of his pack. Always getting their food, regularly scenting them, the whole shebang. He courts them all proper and even when they accept, he continues with it as a show that he can provide. That he's a worthy alpha. (Price 100% grew up in a toxic pack and is determined to be better than that)

Ghost is the other alpha - Price's second in command. He's softer with his words but far more purposeful with his actions. After Roba he couldn't trust his words, he saw how easily they could be manipulated. The pack gets morning and night scentings from him, heavily. He needs his pack to smell like him, to remind him that he belongs. He's also touch-starved so the scenting helps soothe that ache, but do expect him to need everyone in his arms nightly. No exceptions. He'll typically help solve smaller problems in the pack to help keep some of the heat off of Price's back. He's the mediator, because there is no beta.

Which leads me to Kyle - an enigma! He's a mix between an omega and an alpha, something both lighter and heavier. He's had to fight hard to get where he is, as enigmas are so rare that they get negatively stigmatized against. His pack was supportive growing up, but a lot of people rolled over and showed their belly as soon as he started barking. It irritates him so he does need regular sparring to help safely regulate it. As a pack member, he's the vocalizer. He says what everyone needs, it helps Price immensely. If they can't, or won't, say what they need, he will. He likes being scented more than he likes scenting others, his scent was told to be too much so he does prefer to cover it up. Price and Soap break that habit after a long night of thorough scenting and reducing poor Gaz to his basest instincts. Ghost reaps the rewards because Gaz becames 10x more open to sudden scentings throughout the day.

Soap, lovely Johnny, the omega. He's not as hot-headed off of missions as people tend to think. He's very down to Earth, very quiet. He makes his explosions so loud so that he can be quiet. Growing up, he was forced into an alpha leaning role and had to take care of his too many siblings (said by someone with 10 siblings), so all he wants is to be taken care of at times. To indulge in the needier instincts he couldn't express growing up. He also loves being scented and gives it right back, and he properly courts the others like John did. Ghost and Gaz were just roped in - seeing as they didn't know much about courting behavior from less-than favorable childhoods. He thrives on attention. Soap also nests very heavily wherever he's most comfortable, giant nests with stolen items from everyone in the pack. He refuses to let dirty items in though and will personally shower with everyone to make sure they're clean (and totally not to enjoy the 1-on-1 time it provides, something he never got growing up, totally not!)

*And then there's you, the designationless one. Your family shut you out when you were younged, your lack of self was off-putting to them. You wanted to belong and the 141 one pack was more than happy to pull you into their fray. They were unafraid to shower you in everything you missed.)

Just some thoughtz :)

👽

This is you rn 👽 anon:

Like thank you god and 👽 anon for blessing my inbox like this omfg how much do i need to pay to get you to write a fic 😩😩

[elbiotipo]

If I had to rewrite Breaking Bad's finale

(SPOILERS OF COURSE)

I would do it mostly the same, but I would remove that scene where Walt manages to blackmail the Schwarzes into giving his money to his family. It honestly sucked so much. It both plays into Walter's fantasies that he was screwed by them and screwed by life AND makes him win at the end, because his money (which, we must never forget, was made at the expense of people's suffering) goes for HIS purpose and HIS family, just like he wanted. At the end, he wins. (of course, it might be that the money doesn't get to Walt Jr. but the impression left in the audience is that it will)

The whole theme of the series IMO was that Walter did all this for nothing, just for his lust for power. In the finale he wins everything; he manages to get his money to his children, kill all his enemies, free Jesse, and have a final goodbye to his family (except Walt Jr. but he does get the money). You can't always get what you want, but he got all of it.

I also would have made Jesse free himself at the end. Or perhaps making Jesse the one who frees Walter, but he (Walter) dies in the process. I think the intention was there, but again, it was Walter's finale, everything went good for him.

I liked the rest of the scenes though. I did like the machine gun thing because it was a throwback to earlier in the series where Walter had a problem and he solved it with SCIENCE. Despite that I dislike Walter given so much closure, I liked his final encounter with Skyler and Holly. It's just the fact that he WINS everything else that makes it a subpar finale for me.

If it was up to me, Walter would be more vengeful and deranged, eventually failing at his big scheme to avenge himself, but just succeeding at freeing Jesse (or being freed by Jesse) and seeing Skylar and Holly one last time. It's not that I want Walter to be Punished For His Actions To Teach The Viewer A Lesson, it's that the whole theme of the series was that he did all this for his own power and ego, and it would be thematic that at the end, he just can't win them all.

[balladingbard]

How Deryk Solved the Problem of the Ancients

When we talk about the Myths of the Realm finale, I think many of us went in expecting how the story would end.

We knew the Twelve were former Ancients from Venat’s faction. We knew they were getting ready to pass the torch to mankind. Heck, we even knew Deryk was Oschon.

But despite the predictability of the story, I think Myths highlighted a nagging problem Ancient society was plagued with and never could get over: the inability to enjoy life simply for what it was.

When we think about it, the Ancients based their lives on their work and purpose. Once that purpose was done, death awaited. We saw it in Ancient society with the Elpis arc. We saw it with the Ascians, like Emet-Selch and Elidibus and their speeches on duty. We also saw it with the Twelve, who after all these millennia of guiding mankind to stand on their own feet again, decided to call it quits and return to the Star.

Work becomes life, according to the Ancients, and once that work is done, what life is there left to live?

But then Oschon came along.

Like the rest of the Twelve, Oschon (or Deryk, as he called himself) was like the other Ancients. His work was wrapping up, and after a final test for mankind, he was going to return to the Star with his friends like the other Ancients before him. But unlike the rest of the Twelve, rather than observing and keeping communication to a minimum with mankind, he reached out and became one of them - joining their travels, breaking bread at the table, listening to their hopes and dreams.

Though still at work, he got to do something the other Twelve had little chance to do - see the newly created world not from the eyes of a protective deity, but of a man. And when he allowed himself to glimpse a life outside of his work, it awakened a desire to remain. While the other Eleven returned to the Star, Oschon decided to stay, embracing Deryk’s identity and finally taking the time to simply enjoy the world and people he’d spent lifetimes protecting.

In short, Oschon learned a lesson the Ancients ignored - how to see the beauty of life outside of work.

Though the Ancients weren’t wrong in celebrating their purposes and finding joy in what they did, we saw in the Elpis arc and Hermes how damaging it was to make life solely about work. Would Hermes have been as distraught in taking Fandaniel’s seat knowing it didn’t mean the end of his mentor? Could the Eleven have gotten to know their people had they stayed, and thus find new purpose in the world they helped shape? Menphina says in her final battle, “Let’s delight in the simple things,” but does she really allow herself to?

No. Instead, it’s Oschon, the wanderer…the loner. The one who really wasn’t supposed to be around people much, but chose them over his purpose as an Ancient anyways. And despite still having love for the Eleven, he allowed himself to do something no other Ancient (except perhaps Elidibus) could do: remember the Ancient world, but still embrace the new.

[swaps55]

I have never heard of an epithet before! What does it mean?

This is a great question! You have probably seen many of them, and just not heard them referred to as epithets.

An epithet is more or less a descriptive word or phrase that stands in the place of a name or a pronoun, such as, “the taller man,” or “the brown-haired woman.” In my experience, fanfic writers in particular tend to latch onto them, especially when trying to create variety in scenes with two characters who share the same pronouns.

I’ll put my thoughts on them under the cut, because I have Opinions on epithets, but I am not An Authority. I’m not your mom. I’m not here to tell you what to do or how to write, and I’m not here to ruin your fun, but we all have the hills we’ll die on and this one is mine. If you are a fan of epithets, just give this post an eyeroll or the finger and scroll on. If you want to know more about epithets and why I think writers can and should avoid them, read on!

Let me get this out of my system: I loathe epithets. Do whatever you want with your oxford comma, but take your epithets out back and shoot them.

Okay, now that’s out of the way, I’ll be a little more constructive about the purpose epithets serve and why I think they are so frequently used poorly.

In my experience, they’re often used as a tool to avoid pronoun confusion, but it’s an inelegant tool that can become a crutch. You have two characters of the same gender in a scene, you have already used their names in a sentence, but the pronoun antecedent is unclear unless you name the character again. You don’t want to do that because it feels repetitive, so you pick out a physical quality and use that instead. Problem solved! Except instead of solve the problem, you’ve potentially introduced new ones.

Nuance is important, and to talk tools we should be using the same toolbox, so for the sake of this argument I’m going to assume we’re talking about 3rd person limited POV, because that’s what I generally see, read, and write the most of.

Chances are very high that the descriptor you chose for your epithet derived from you the writer’s perception of the character being described and not the POV character. This is important, because if you are writing in 3rd person limited, the way you describe other people is how the POV character sees the person being described.  

Now tell me. Have you ever thought of a close friend, a lover, or someone whose name you know as, “the taller woman,” or “the dark-haired man?” Have you ever thought about YOURSELF in these terms? Probably not. I have never looked at my Real Life Romance Option and thought of him as “the brown-eyed man” or “the taller man.” I’ve also quite frankly never consciously thought of him as “my lover.” Is he all of those things? Yes. But from my POV, those are never descriptors I would use for him. Once you know a person’s name, they tend to become Their Name and not ‘Random Characteristic” in your mental picture of them.

So when you default to Random Characteristic, it’s usually the writer talking, not the character. And chances are high that the characteristic you choose to represent is not something that is important to the POV character or the scene in that moment. Therefore, is it significant enough to the reader that it clearly identifies the character, or does the reader now have to stop and think, ‘wait, which one is taller?’ So instead of eliminate confusion, you may have actually introduced more of it.

And even if it is an important detail, stating it as a fact is generally a lot less effective than making it part of the character work being done in the scene. For example:

“Can you help me reach this?” Jed asks the taller man. Leo stops chopping vegetables to oblige, and snags the wine glass the shorter man couldn’t reach off the shelf.

Vs.

Jed sighs as he makes another futile swipe with his fingers and barely grazes the bottom of the shelf. He looks over at Leo, blissfully chopping vegetables in a world where stepstools are for other people. “Can you help me reach this?” Leo sets the knife down and looms behind him, effortlessly snagging the wine glass and handing it to Jed with a grin.   

Hopefully, the second example feels more impactful than the first, because the height difference became part of the scene, and not just a descriptor cosplaying as a pronoun.

Epithets become even more distracting when they become part of a prose style rather than just a means to avoid pronoun confusion or name repetition. I see a lot of writers make the stylistic choice to have a POV character refer to themselves as an epithet right alongside the epithets being thrown around for other characters, and there are so many crammed into a paragraph or two I can’t figure out who is doing what.

At best, epithets are distracting. At their worst, they’re actively confusing when their purpose is to do the opposite.

“But Swaps, if I don’t use an epithet, how do I avoid pronoun confusion without wanting to throw myself out a window?”

This is a problem every writer contends with, whether you’re writing same gender smut, combat, or just have two people of the same gender doing things in a scene together. And unfortunately, this is one of those ways in which writing is hard. When you have some pronoun confusion in a sentence you can’t wriggle your way out of, the answer is probably to try a different sentence. Break the sentence up. Structure it differently. Finding the better sentence is part of becoming a better writer. 

If repetition is what you’re concerned about, know that just saying a character’s name and using their pronoun is okay. It’s like ‘said.’ ‘Said’ isn’t a trendy word that goes in and out of style. It’s a building block word that blends into the background. Can you get fancier than ‘said?’ Sure! But do it with purpose. Don’t be afraid to use a character’s name. It’s their name. It’s what you’re supposed to call them. Why are we fighting so hard to respect people’s names and pronouns if all we’re going to do is replace them with epithets? (Kidding. Mostly.) And if you’re using their name so much it’s interfering with readability…it’s probably time to revisit a few of those sentences and figure out what the better sentence is.

When can you use an epithet?

I joke that there are no exceptions to my There Are No Good Epithets stance, but there are. Sort of. Because rules are made to be broken, though I do believe you should understand why the rule exists before you break it, and you should break it with purpose.

Here’s the easy one.  

Epithets are useful when the POV character doesn’t know a character’s name. Now you have to use something else! And here’s the great thing about that: the epithet is now a vehicle for characterization. What about this stranger stands out enough to get the POV character’s attention? Do they notice a physical characteristic? Clothes? Attitude? What does the thing they notice say about the POV character and the character being observed?

For instance, my POV character is eavesdropping on a conversation between two people in a restaurant. You could grab the low hanging fruit and describe them as, “the brunet woman” and the “older man.” Or you could make your scene work harder. “The man with the punchable face,” or “the woman who makes eye rolling an art form.” Or how about, “the woman wearing fake pearls,” shorthanded to Fake Pearls Woman, and “the man with the name-brand suit that’s seen better days,” shorthanded to Shabby Suit. Now you’ve said something about the characters that place them in a more useful context than their hair color – you’ve said something about them that helps inform the scene, and how your POV character observes the world around them.    

Are there other instances where you can effectively use an epithet? Yes, if you are using them like this: with narrative purpose. And in those cases, is it really just an epithet anymore? It is in that yes, it is a descriptor taking the place of a name or pronoun, but it’s doing a lot more heavy lifting now. Maybe you have a character who chronically can’t remember or can’t be assed to remember people’s names. The epithet is now a means of characterization. Maybe you have a Jekyll and Hyde style character, in which a descriptor of those different personas becomes a means of setting a scene or crafting their relationship with the POV character. These descriptors are narrative vehicles being used with intention. “The other man,” is rarely a tool being used with any real intention. If there is an instance of it, I have never seen it.

Now, if reading this makes you second guess your own work, or to feel like you write wrong, or if the thought of going to painstaking lengths to rewire sentences you would typically use an epithet in gives you hives, there’s an easy solution: forget about this post.

Because fanfic is supposed to be fun. It’s your hobby. You are not getting paid for it. You don’t have to use a specific writing style, or meet anyone else’s expectations. That’s part of what makes fanfic such a beautiful thing. You can do whatever makes you happy. Not me, not anyone else. If you fucking love using epithets, use them. If you think I am made of bullshit, give this post the finger like I initially suggested and write five epithets just to spite me. No one will stop you, certainly not me. Though I will continue hating epithets, because you can’t stop me, either. XD

[soupdrinkinglincoln]

I think today is a day for being wrong about a lot of things. I’m glad. The day had been pretty rough for me, my hopes for the episode were a little low. But that was wrong. I was wrong about a lot of things. This episode was really fun. So, from the top…

-I knew the episode was going to be better than I thought it would be from the offset, as soon as Anita came back. I was absolutely beaming to see her again, and as the day reset, I knew that this would be good. Getting UNIT back in action, getting everyone outside back in business, Shirley and her Happy Wheels wheelchair and Mel riding in on a motorbike. Hype moments and aura for days. Getting everything sorted there felt like exactly the right move to bring things back to the status quo, even if the rest of the world was still going mad, and from that a solid episode could be built.

-Before this all began, I made a bingo card, and honestly since I was still kind of in a funk then, I was thinking a little negatively with some of the squares. I’m pleased to say that of a board of twenty five, I think we got three. Though it would have been a solid four if Conrad didn’t have a gun. I think that the only thing that would have really improved the episode for me without any complete changes would have been a Master tease, god please bring him back we need another Doctor/Master/Rani story. Sorry to any of my mutuals who were excited about Deltarune, tell the showrunner to… write differently I guess?

-Everything with the Bonebeasts and UNIT Tower was pretty damn fun, at least to me. The laser cannons, the entire top half of the building turning with a fucking pirate ship wheel? Torchwood London could never. Then the Doctor meets with the Rani and they unleash Omega. I’m still fairly mixed on Omega being there as a whole. I think now it might be for the better, though, that he is there. The plan of ‘find him dead or alive, gene-rip him, use his genes to make a new batch of Time Lords’, that feels far more like the Rani now to me. That feels like the workings of a batshit scientist. I’d know; it’s the sort of shit people make facilities for in Rimworld. Omega himself being a big CGI skeleton monster though… I can accept things with Sutekh. He was a god-like alien, he got dragged around the time stream for centuries, turned him into a real boy god. Sure, give him a CGI final boss form and stick his name on the Pantheon registry. Omega being in the ‘world of fairytales’ and thus becoming an evil skeleton? I don’t know. It feels like the only real purpose he actually had was to solve the two Ranis problem for later seasons and to then get blasted back to where he came from.

-As much as I enjoyed everything with the episode, I’m going to make my mid-point complaint now following straight from the last one. This finale felt a little status-quo. Doctor Who season finales really go out there and change everything; whether it’s Rose being trapped in another parallel world, or Saxon being shot, or The Master dying again, or the entirety of Gallifrey being destroyed. I feel like this set up a lot to do a little. The Rani bigenerated, just for the second one to be killed immediately. Omega was summoned, just for him to immediately get put back. If the story was going to end with the Time Lords completely unchanged, Omega sealed away and with one Rani, why give us two Ranis with plans to release Omega and change the Time Lords forever? That bit just felt underbaked to me, and no matter how otherwise nice a cookie is, only takes one bit to give you some food poisoning.

-The main plot of the episode ended, and everything was wrapped up. And man, honestly, first, I really felt like they would end it on the Doctor and Belinda travelling casually, now with a child in tow. Then I really felt like they were really going to end it on Poppy just being snipped out of time, and on everyone forgetting except for Ruby. That would not have been a bad ending. Would have been sore, would have been painful, would have ended with the Doctor being really uncharacteristically dismissive of Ruby when she’s clearly in some level of distress which I wasn’t too fond of because man did that not feel very in character for Fifteen, or for Belinda, honestly. But, at the end of it all, of course the Doctor would choose to regenerate for a chance at being a dad. Which made it so cruel when he couldn’t l I did honestly think for a moment Poppy would end up being lost in time, and being the Timeless Child in a strange loop, but no. She’s Belinda’s daughter, and that’s all she had to be.

-As for the ending and the Doctors, well. I’m so glad that Ncuti’s final outfit included a skirt, and he did slay so immeasurably hard in it. And I was as surprised as everyone else to see Jodie again, but also really glad. It felt good for her to be there. Final closure for both of them. And a little something for the Docyaz crowd. It was a beautiful moment. And then with the regeneration, I suppose that I really did just have to follow the rumours on everything. The Rani coming back, Mrs. Flood being her, and Billie Piper as the Doctor. I’ve seen fan reactions, and they all say it’s the end of Doctor Who. And they must be right. After all, they were right about Fifteen being the end of Doctor Who; and Fourteen; and Thirteen; and Twelve; and Eleven. Look, it’s going to be different; that’s sort of the point of a new Doctor. But after a finale that I did really enjoy, I will happily see where it goes from here. I only wish that Ncuti had more episodes than he did. Billie Piper as the Doctor isn’t killing the show, but eight episode ‘bingeable’ seasons are killing media.

For the very final conclusion, I might as well torch my Lucky Day review after this finale. Yes, Conrad’s episode had to be part of the main show, despite it being a Doctor-lite (which would have been better with a longer season but ANYWAY). And no, the Doctor Who spin-off is not dead- and it is a UNIT spinoff. Welcome back Class. I’ll be sure to check that out once it’s here. And that’s the end of the season. I’ll probably be back for whatever the next episode is to review that. Until then, it’s been neat, and go read some transcripts, I don’t know.

[papikyoo]

what drew you to kabumisu? :3

i've meant to answer this since forever but oh my it's going to be a long post XD

I once said it's Kabru's line of thoughts for me. I don't think he will move on with his day and not thinking of how promising Mithrun's life is, he would want to be there, witnessing it, helping him find the purpose even. I believe it's a bit ooc for him not to do so. While he also finds comfort in the absense of social expectations, when you examine closely he has some cynical view about people because he's learned at a young age that he needs to prioritize others' safety and feelings, it is expected of him (Milsiril as an immature mother and Kabru who lost his hometown and family so he set the impossible standard for himself)

He deduces their motive so he's always one step ahead and solves their problems. So when he faces a person who doesn't expect anything of him, it helps him developing the need to do things for himself, that need is still about helping others ofc because he's not going to unlearn the trauma response soon and helping others encourages improvement as long as you don't sacrifice your own needs, the difference is helping Mithrun also let him reflect on himself, swallow a bitter pill, and lead by example.

And here's Mithrun, needing a guide, needing someone who will bring understanding and stop him when he's going to set himself on fire or crossing the lines, while knowing where he comes from. I don't think Mithrun shared his backstory to anyone except Kabru because he even tried to deter Kabru's enthusiasm, other canaries members don't really understand him, he started to cry when Kabru, possibly the only person who knew, touched him because he knew Kabru would relieve his sadness that's bottled up, so it's safe to say that he wasn't that comfortable telling everyone his own past or struggles, it makes sense to me that Kabru noticed and told him the world didn't need to know all of that, treating him like a human with grace. You see, there's always one guy who will be one step ahead and hold him down.

Let's say I just think they complement each other, similar but not the same, what the other person lacks challenges the other to be a better person, they can pick up the slack for the other's weaknesses and work well as a team as you can see in the six days chapter. If i'm being honest, I don't think that their relationship journey is a path paved with rose because both of them have their own conflicts waiting to be resolved. But I really can't think of more suitable characters to ship them with, so they are an endgame ship to me. They also have their funny moments too lol. Thank you for the question, I hope this is comprehensible!

[ladymrf]

THE VOICES WON AND FORCED ME TO WRITE THIS SHORT THING HERE

part 2 of this

"He's not mad at you." Dick's voice reaches her in Titans Tower, Cassie doesn't turn around and waits for Nightwing to sit next to her in the kitchen balloon "He doesn't seem to be mad at anyone actually."

Cassie isn't surprised, Tim has always been good at this kind of thing, he holds his grudges deep inside and waits for them to fester in forgiveness, a forgiveness that is never truly sincere in Cassie's opinion, Tim is spiteful, he never forgets an offense, but he seems to think that family is the exception to that rule. Tim thinks he has forgiven them all, Cassie is not going to be the one to burst that bubble.

"I know he's not mad at me."

A pause

"So he's mad at the rest of us?"

"Who knows, he's always been a strange little boy, swallowing a lot of stuff until it rots inside." Cassie shrugged, she smiled a little at that "I thought that's what they taught you guys, you know, to suck it up and pretend everything's fine, for the sake of the mission and all that shit."

"I guess so."

"Then you can't expect anything else from him now, Tim always learned his lessons. The ones that were taught on purpose and the ones that weren't." Cassie looked at Dick "You want to know why he's so cool with me while he seems to have sucked a lemon in your presence, right?"

"Yeah, you didn't believe him either and he doesn't seem to have a problem with that."

Cassie thinks about the roof, about their conversation, about how whether she believed Tim or not didn't matter, it wouldn't change his mind about going, she thinks about the pieces that were left of him after those months away, she thinks about the fall from the window, she thinks about how her heart shook when she saw the footage, how Conner turned white and grabbed her hand and Bart cowered against her as if he'd been punched.

"Because it didn't matter." Cassie told Dick and added just to make it hurt "I don't care about any of you, frankly I didn't doubt that Tim would bring Bruce back, whether it was the right version or not, whether he was alive or not, a Bruce would come back with him without a doubt. My belief in Batman was never a problem, because he never mattered. Tim knows, he always knew that I hoped he was dead, not because I doubted his sanity, but for personal reasons. Batman coming back was never important, the important thing was that Tim came back."

Dick is silent for a long time, digesting the last part, finally he lets out a long sigh of exhaustion, Cassie doesn't envy him, it must be hell to be the oldest son of such a shitty family, seeing those people made Cassie thankful for being an only child.

"Do you think he'll ever forgive us?"

Cassie thinks Tim will suck it up and pretend until it becomes true in his crazy little head, he'll go on with his life like that, because otherwise there would be screaming and conflicts and God forbid bats have conflicts to solve their problems.

In a moment of pity, she doesn't tell Dick this, she says:

"He got Conner and Bart back, that will clear his mind of brooding over his grudges against all of you."

Dick just nods and leaves her alone, Cassie sighs, stupid bats, Tim was an idiot too, but he was her idiot.

[chickensarentcheap]

From your Ask me about my OPT

Can I please have 13, 15, 17, 25 and 37. Thank you, sending hugs and love😍💖🥰😘😘😘

Thank you!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@watermeezer @bardic-tales @creators-club @darknightfrombeyond @secretaryunpaid @kmc1989

@shepardstales @asirensrage @residentdormouse @mrsmungus @vixenofcourse @theinheriteddutchess

@alisbackalleybbq @karimac @ninjasawakenedmystar

13. How would they do in an escape room? What kind of room would they choose and would they get out?

Esme and Tyler would totally kick ass in an escape room. They're both very quick on their feet and very clever with exceptional problem solving skills. They also work very smoothly and effortlessly alongside of each other in other aspects of their life, so that would come in handy. Tyler would talk her into a jail break theme LOL. He has experience, after all ;). And they would definitely get out in time.

15. What do they do to make each other laugh? Doesn't have to be on purpose either.

Despite complaining about it, she does get a laugh out of the way he teases her about her height, even if the perverted comments. She also laughs when he loses his temper while driving. All the profanity and the Aussie slang that slips out of him LOL. Esme makes him laugh with corny jokes and American sayings he doesn't quite understand. He will also laugh when she gets annoyed by his teasing and when she insists on being able to get the laundry out of the bottom of the washer and he'll find her halfway in the machine, ass in the air as she tries to reach things lol

17. What does their partner do that makes them think 'damn, that's hot?' It can be innocent things.

Everything and anything lol. For Esme, she especially likes watching him with the kids and relishing his role as a hands on dad, especially after the heartbreak with his son and the mistake Tyler had made. She finds it hot when he wears his baseball hat backwards. Especially if he's wearing it while he's working on his truck, hands covered in grease.

For Tyler, there's never a time he doesn't find her hot lol. When she does yoga or she's breaking a sweat in the gym with him, when she's working in the garden in a tank top and her little jean shorts, when she's baking or doing crafts with the kids. Or when she's chewing on her bottom lip while immersed in a book and she'll gather her hair and twist it into a bun.

25. Did they ever have a disastrous date? What happened?

They got caught having sex in the back of the truck. All because she'd commented earlier that she had never had sex in a vehicle and Tyler couldn't let that go for the rest of her life lol

37. What did the couple introduce to one another? (Can be a product, hobby, way of doing things, etc.)

Esme got Tyler into gardening, snowboarding, and meditation, and Tyler got her into yoga, surfing, and paddleboarding.