#feathers and frosting schrödinger

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Ive been updating a few of the chapters with proper chapter art! More will follow.

The cat is called Schrödinger, the axolotl next to Aristotle is Diogenes, and the muffin is named Frank. Their all ocs btw. More about them here:

[not-the-axolotl]

Behold: my unhinged drawing process.

I'm pretty happy with how it came out. This took me like 9 hours btw it has like a hundred layers. Click for quality cus tumblr compresses the shit out of images. The finished product:

The characters called Schrödinger, hes a mad scientist lmao.

Feathers and frosting masterpost (the above image is the chapter art for chapter 0, part 7):

[sigridhawke]

Incorrect Quotes Tag Game

Tagged by @ink-flavored​ wooo!!!

Rules: use this generator to make some incorrect quotes with your characters

This was so damn silly and fun XD Got my beloved friend to pick out some specific interactions from the Crimson crew to share hehe. There’s a few favourites so extras are under the cut.

.

Natasha and Nikolai (Princess and Wyvern)

Natasha, skipping rocks on a lake with Nikolai: It’s such a beautiful evening. Nikolai: Yeah, it is. Nikolai: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

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Natasha: Nikolai, when’s your birthday?

Nikolai: Why? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

Natasha: …So I know when to wish you a happy birthday.

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Natasha, watching Nikolai: Ah yes. The mysterious and beautiful Nikolai, so demure…

Natasha: …I wonder what sort of melodic sounds this wonderful being makes? Nikolai: *screaming*

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Natasha: Two wrongs don’t make a right. Nikolai: *sighs* That’s true… Nikolai: But to negatives make a positive!!!

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Natasha: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it. Natasha: Everything will be fine. You have no choice. Nikolai: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that? Natasha: Ominous positivity.

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Natasha and Moonwhisper (Princess and Antagonist)

Moonwhisper: Do you see yourself as a glass half-full or glass half-empty kind of person? Natasha: Half-full, definitely. Natasha: Half-full and constantly rising. Natasha: Soon the water will escape its container and consume us all.

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Natasha: Moonwhisper? What are you doing here? Moonwhisper, wearing a hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and holding a gatorade: My best.

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Moonwhisper: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm? Natasha: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

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Moonwhisper, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Natasha. Natasha, not looking up from their coffee: Good morning, problem child.

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Neo and Estella (Schrödinger’s pairing of foxes)

Neo: I regret nothing!!! Estella: I regret everything!!!

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Estella: Is five a lot of followers? Neo: Depends on the context. Neo: On Instagram? No, not a lot of followers. Neo: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers.

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Neo: Are you trying to seduce me? Estella: Why, are you seducible?

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Neo: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? Estella: Peonies, why? Neo: Estella: Were you going to get me flowers? Neo: Estella: Neo: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

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Neo: How do I tell Estella that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

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Shaurya and Feathers (father and son)

Feathers: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE. Shaurya: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds. Feathers: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME— Shaurya: *sigh* What do you want? Feathers: Chicken nuggets please.

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Feathers: Don’t worry, I have a permit. Shaurya: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

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Shaurya: How would you like your coffee? Feathers: As dark and as bitter as my soul. Shaurya, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

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Feathers: *on the phone with Shaurya* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit. Shaurya: You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you. Feathers: Maybe.

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Thane and Odin (Human and Dragon caught in a timeloop)

Odin: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Thane: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

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Odin: Am I right, Thane? Thane: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

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Thane: Odin is not allowed to decide which one of us is the chosen one.

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Thane: Hey Odin, do you have any hobbies? Odin: Swimming.. Thane: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to- Odin: In a pool of self hatred and regret.

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Thane: Hey Odin, can you give me the opposite of these words? Thane: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Odin: Never, Going, To, Give, You- Odin: The fucking satisfaction.

 -

The War Council the abridged series:

Kann : Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight. Morgan : But are you shuffling? Kann : Everyday. Shaurya: What language are you two speaking??

 -

Milo Jasper : I hate you. Isabella : Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

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Milo Jasper : I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Kann : What? Milo Jasper : Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

 -

Morgan : Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible? Thane : I gotta give you credit, Isabella . You make it look easy. Isabella : Years of practice.

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Gwendolyn: I do two things and two things only. I devastate sorry motherfuckers, and get shit done as an awesome leader.

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Gwendolyn: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case? Morgan : wHat? Gwendolyn: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved. Morgan : Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

-

Tagging:

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Character introduction

Some basic info/backstories about the non-canon characters. More information will be revealed later on.

Diogenes:

Full name: Diogenes Weaver

Appearance:

He's a tall, darkish brown axolotl. He wears a thick, dark grey cloak similar to the one socrates wears, exept Diogenes' doesnt reach all the way to the ground. Diogenes tends to hide his left hand due to [spoilers].

Pronouns: he/him. Age: 47

Background info:

Diogenes has autism and ADHD. He and Aristotle have known each other for decades, and are very close friends. He is a well respected alchemist, and has been teaching the subject for close to seventeen years now.

Frank

Full name: Frankenmuffin

Appearance:

Large muffin, about two foot in hight while standing up. He has got a polkadotted liner, and wears a orange and black friendship bracelet.

Pronouns: they/them

Schrödinger

Full name: O. Schrödinger

Appearance:

Schrödinger is a tall, black and white maine coon. He has a thick mustashe and typicaly wears a lab coat.

Pronouns: he/him. Age: 46

Background info:

He's a mad scientist, involved in a lot of shady projects. Schrödinger is currently working on something involving necromacy. While at one point he had a lover, that relationship came to a bitter end due to Schrödingers lust for power.

Wilhelm

Appearance:

He's a red panda, and relatively short in stature.

Pronouns: he/him. Age: 56

Liam

Appearance:

Liam is a tall, grey ferret, and wears a blue jacket.

Pronouns: he/him. Age: 32

Charlie

Appearance:

She is a hegdehog, and has bright blue eyes.

Pronouns: she/her. Age: 34

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 15

[Ambush the muffin]

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The sounds of the ocean, birds calling out in the distance, waves sloshing against the hull of the wooden ship, were calm. Wilhelm easily tuned them out while looking for the one thing that wouldn't fit it: a large, sentient, muffin. "Are you sure it'l come back, Charlie?" "According to my calculations, it should be here any second now." Wilhelms coworker called out from inside.

A few more moments passed without noticable event. Then, as if Charlie had somehow summoned it, the muffin came into view having climbed over a particularly large sand dune. The smugglers quickly docked their ship, and when they stepped onto shore the muffin hadn't seen them yet.

Charlie turned to Liam. "You grab the cage, we grab the muffin." A simple plan, but the less steps, the less that can go wrong. Wilhelm, still injured, shouted suddenly. The distraction worked, and Charlie jumped onto the muffin. A lot of shouting followed, but in just a few minutes the muffin, and by extention the gem, had been secured. Having placed their first objective in the far corner of the boat cabin, the smugglers started to discuss what to do next.

"So now what," Liam started, adressing Wilhelm. "Do we get the gem from the muffin? Consideringthat it's the reason the thing is alive i'd assume that that would kill it" "Its best to leave it in untill we get to the lab. The explosion might have compromised it, and I dont want to be the one who has to explain to dr. Schrödinger that we broke the gem of immortality. Lets just get back while luck is still on our side."

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Gem of immortality? Schrödinger? Lab? The amalgamation of sylables didn't mean much to Frank, but they internalised it anyway. They were still a bit shaken up from being manhandled, and weren't about to test fate by speaking up. Though there was one spark of hope. And more importantly, an answer. A magic gem had brought them to life and was currently preventing them from undoing that.

The ship docked at a small port, and all three smugglers left. Frank assumed they didn't think they would be able to escape, and didn't hesitate to prove them wrong. Neither the cage or the door were locked securely, and they left within minutes.

Their bracelet, wich the smugglers didn't bother looking at closely, brought them to a scientist who would love to hear the information that Frank had acuired.

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And that he did. "The gem of immortality, you say? Can't say i've read much about it, so i'm going to assume it was discovered somewhat recently. Still, a lead is a lead. Now we have something we can work from." Barnaby had listened with great interest as Frank told him the series of events that had occured mere hours prior.

The muffin turned to leave once more when Barnaby interrupted them. "Come on, stay a while. The party is just about to begin, and the more the merrier!" "I'd rather not today, but I appreciate the offer." Truth be told, Franks mind was somewhere else, still repeating the smugglers' words.

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"Did we need anything else?" "Let me look. Bandages for Wilhelm, bread, mayo, and some beers to celibrate later. I think we have everything." Feeling good about themselves, Wilhelm, Charlie, and Liam made their way back to the boat, intending to finaly be done eith their mission.

But as they got closer, they realised the front door was open. "Was that door open when we left?" "No, but it doesn't lock very well, you know that Charlie. I've told you this before, not my foult you still havent fixed it." "Do you think I have nothing better to do?!" "Guys, come on. Arguing isn't gonna do anything. Lets just go inside, get the muffin to Schrödinger, and be done with this."

Both agreed with Wilhelm. However when they stepped inside they all simultaniously realised why the door had been open: the cage where the muffin had previously been trapped in, was open as well. "I knew we should have left someone to stand guard!" "Then you should have said so, smartass." Wilhelm just sighed. The whole opperation should have been over weeks ago, yet they were back where they started.

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Heyy. I know its been a while, but im feeling a hell of a lot better lately. Will be posting more often after this lol.

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 0, part 7.

[Cat and mouse]

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A door slammed loudly in the southern most part of the laboratory. The news of the gem not arriving must have reached the lead scientist. The man looked like he was going to strangle someone. His footsteps echo'd trough the halls as he made his way to the package depot. Those three better had a damn good explanation.

"What happened?" The words cut trough the air like a knife as the smugglers struggled to come up with an answer. Charlie was the first to say something. "Were not entirely sure either, doctor Schrödinger. What I can tell you is that we werent found out." The scientist clearly wasnt satisfied with the answer.

Dr. Schrödinger was a tall, black and white maine coon with thick mustache, and the lead scientist on a whole array of shady projects. His current work: necromacy. The gem Schrödinger was after was the gem of immortality, and he strongly believed that it would help him.

"What do mean 'you dont know'? That gem must be somewhere. Are you trying to tell me the thing grew legs and walked away?!" This time it was Liam who said something. "It did, sir. We tried baking the gem into a muffin to hide it from the cops, but then the oven exploded, the muffin had grown arms and legs, and then it jumped out of the window. We tried to find it but we couldnt."

Schrödingers face showed a mix of anger and confusion as he tried to process what he just heard, before deciding how to proceed. "You three have got one more chance to prove yourselves usefull. Either you bring me that muffin, or you're all fired." The smugglers all breathed a sigh of relief. That could have gone a lot worse.

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 9

[Knowledge is power]

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-Three months prior

"If you need me, dont. Just dont need me." That was all that Schrödinger said as he left the laboratory at the crack of dawn. He had given neither the time he'd expect to return, nor an explanation about the reason he left in the first place. Wilhelm, who has seen him leave, could only guess where the scientist was going.

By the time Schrödinger reached the old dungeon, it was close to being noon. Still, he wasnt anywhere close to being done with his search. As he walked trough the cold hallways the cold, damp air surrounded him like a wet blanket. Schrödinger hoped that the humidity hadn't damaged the book he'd been after for the past five months.

There it was. On a high up shelf, between books of various other subjects, was an old book about numerous forms of arcane magic. Schrödinger layed it down on a nearby desk, and started looking for a specific chapter. Somehow the book was still in prestine condition. After flipping through the pages for a short while, he found what he needed.

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On necromacy

Necromacy, or bringing a person back to life after they have passed, has been studied by many, and for many years. Numerous attempts have been made, but no one has ever succeded as of me writing this. Still, the scientific comunity remains hopefull that this could someday become reality.

I propose the following theory: it is possible to bring one back from the dead, but it would simply require to much magic. Even the most powerfull magic users can only channel so much magic at a time. Realisticaly, only someone with an extemely high magic potential would be able to cast such a spell.

If the above requirement is met, it would still be no easy feat. A magic gem would be needed for spell. As i've mentioned before, magic gems are extremely rare, and finding the one you need will be very dificult. If you wanted to try this, you will need the white gem, otherwise known as the gem of immortality.

With the right spells, its life-preserving magic could theoreticly be manipulated in a way that would allow its user to bring something or someone back from death.

Of course, all of the above is purely theoretical, and should never be attempted. If anything goes wrong, the results could be catastrophic.

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Schrödinger knew what he needed to know. With this information, he would be able to revive the troll. With that amphibian no longer around, no one would be there to stop him! He closed the book and left the dungeon. His next step would be to accuire the gem of immortality.

When Schrödinger returned to the laboratory, it was late in the afternoon. He had called one of his employees to his office. "Wilhelm, I need you to get me something very important. No one can know about this, understood?" The smuggler nodded, and Schrödinger continued. "Its a very powerfull white gem. The gem of immortality to be more specific. I have asigned Charlie and Liam to assist you in this mission."

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 8

[New plan]

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The return to the boat had been in complete silence. This couldn't have possibly gone any worse. Non of them were in the mood to tempt fate at that moment though, so the thought remained unsaid. Once at their ship, the smugglers, without a word, got to work.

"It's not broken." "Are you sure Liam? Because it hurts like absolute hell." "Yes. Luckily the arrow missed the bone. If it hadn't, you'd be in a whole lot more trouble." Saying this, Liam finished wrapping up the wound on Wilhelms arm. "Just take it easy for now."

"Now what? Go back and tell Schrödinger that we lost the gem of immortality again?" Charlie, who had just finished installing a replacement oven in place of the one that exploded a month earlier, seemed more tense by the minute. "That shouldn't be nececary." Liam interjected. "There has to be a way to capture that damned thing!"

"I say we get a rock that looks like the white gem, give it to Schrödinger, and quit before he notices it's fake." Wilhelm shook his head when Charlie proposed the idea. "If we fake the gem, we might as well fake our own deaths. There's just no way that Schrödinger wont immediately notice the difference." "He's been after the gem for months now!" Liam added, while also attempting to come up with a plan.

"Im sure the muffin will come back here soon enough. It might travel at impossible speeds, but it hasn't been away from this location for more than a few days." "Are you seriously suggesting we do exactly the same thing we just tried, Liam?! Have you been huffing paint thinner or something?!" Wilhelm sighed before continueing. "The muffin was smart enough to run away from us. I doubt it'l return to this place anytime soon."

"Well do you have a better plan, Wilhelm?" "I suggest we wait for now. We track the muffins movements, and maybe we can find some logic behind it. When we see a patern, we ambush the thing. Unless anyone has a better idea?" "I guess thats a plan then." None of the crew had either an objection, or a better plan, so it seemed that they'd be waiting for the foreseeable future.

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 7

[The hand you're dealt]

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"Are you doing okay, Nines? You've been awfully quiet." "Yes Arthur, im fine." Diogenes didnt want to admit it, but Arthur was right. He realy hadn't said much after they had brought back the box, still processing the grave news. Seeking to distract himself, he turned to the kids. They had mentioned wanting to ask him a few questions.

"So... what is it that you three wanted to know so badly?" Billie, Lily, and Lewis wanted to know a lot of things. "In one of your letters you mentioned that your work was keeping you from visiting Aristotle. What kind of work do you do?" "I'm a teacher. Finding a subsitute was an absolute nightmare." "What do you teach?" "Alchemy" "Do you have anyone special in your life?" Diogenes sighed deeply. "I had..." "Oh... Im so sorry..." "It's not like that, Billie. He's still alive, it's just... it's complicated. Next question."

"Why does my dad keep calling you Nines?" "I already told you, it's just an inside joke." It wasnt, but Diogenes didn't want to tell them that. Not yet, at least. "Come on, Diogenes. There has to be a reason he calls you that." Great. Could he get away with making something up? Had any of them noticed his 'habit'? He supposed he wouldn't have been able to hide it for much longer anyway. "Fine, fine. I'll give you the reason."

Before Diogenes could show the three young goats the hand he'd been dealt, Arthur walked in, carrying a large wooden box. Noticing Diogenes' grim expression, Billie asked: "Are you okay, Diogenes?" "Yes, Billie. I'd just hoped not to be opening this thing anytime soon." "So, Diogenes." Arthur interrupted him. "How about we send these kids home and continue this conversation tomorrow. It's getting pretty late." Against the kids' protests, Diogenes backed him up. "You heard him, my secret can wait."

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-Early the next morning

Diogenes had already put the box on the table by the time Billie and their friends arrived at the campsite. "Good morning kids." Both his hands were planted firmly on the wooden surface, but the teens' attention was pointed at the box. "Lets open this thing then, shall we?"

The first thing they saw when Diogenes opened the lid were the two handprints that were burned on the inside of it. "Who's hand is that?" Lewis asked while pointing to the print on the left. "That would be mine." Diogenes answered while holding up his left, five-fingered hand.

So thats why he hid his hand! "It's called polydactily." Diogenes explained. "Some poeple have it on both sides, but in my case it's just my left hand." "That's so cool!" Out of all the reactions he'd gotten from his oddity, Billie's was one of the most positive ones. "So is that why Arthur calls you Nines?" "It is." Looking inside the box, Diogenes grabbed two sealed envelopes, wich he immediately put in the inside pocket of his cloak.

"Whats inside those envelopes?" Billie asked. "These are letters that Aristotle and I wrote each other, with the intend to read them when we opened the box together." Diogenes answered. "We're not going to open those." "Aww.. come on. Why not?" "These letters were written in confidence. Their contents remains between me and my brother, even after his death. If they wanted you to know something, i'm sure he would have told you."

"Now, feel free to look through the photo's. If you have any further questions, just ask." While they had been busy with the box, Arthur had read that days newspaper. "Anything interesting about the weather?" Diogenes joked. "Not the weather, no. But apparantly the gem of immortality has been stolen. Not many leads currently, but the main suspect behind the crime is Dr. Schrödinger." Diogenes frowned upon hearing the name. Of course he was behind this. "I wouldn't put it past the guy if you ask me." Arthur continued.

How much could he tell Arthur? Diogenes knew Schrödinger better than most people, but how would he respond to that? It was probably best not to tell him anything yet.

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 2

[Time and location]

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The light of the rising sun shined brightly over the calm surface of the ocean. The sky wore just a few small clouds, wich were carried eastward by a strong wind. In the midst of the peacefull scene, the waves only barely moving it, was a small boat.

Spread out onto a wooden table, surrounded by various newspaper clippings, laid a large map. Pins had been inserted at several locations, seemingly at random. "Why is it, that after almost a month of looking, we still havent a clue where that damn muffin is?" Wilhelm asked no one in particular. "It shouldnt be possible for that thing to be moving that fast. One day its in one place, and the next its practicaly on the other side of the world!"

"I think I do see some sort of patern." Charlie metioned while comparing the dates and locations of the sightings. "The muffin seems to keep returning to the same place near the coast, where it was first seen two weeks ago." Looking at the spot she had pointed at, Wilhelm replied: "I see what you mean. It could be worth it to go there, and wait untill the muffin comes back there again."

Liam, growing increasingly impatient, sighed loudly. "Out of all the white rocks in the world, we're after the only one that can run away! Why does Schrödinger even want that specific one in the first place?" "Well, Liam." Wilhelm replied. "Firstly, its not just any old crystal. It is a magic gem, the gem of immortality to be more specific."

"What does he even need it for, anyway? It's not like the man is dying anytime soon, right?" Liam asked, more hesitant than before. "I was just about to say that." Wilhelm said, peeved about being interrupted. "He's trying to bring something back from the dead. A year or so ago, dr. Schrödinger got his hands on some sort of dead golem, and he's been looking for a way to revive the thing. From what i've gathered, he believes the gem of immortality will help him with that."

Having heard Wilhelms explanation, and learning what was at stake, Liam began to put away the map. According to Charlie's theory, the muffin would be back at the same location in the late afternoon of the following day.

With the table being empty for the first time in weeks, and the fact they had the rest of the day to do whatever, Liam grabbed a deck of cards out of one of the many cluttered drawers. "How about a game of blackjack?" Both Wilhelm and Charlie agreed to the welcome distraction, and the group sat down in a circle at the table. While the game certainly would have been more fun had they been playing with more people, they soon lost track of time.

[not-the-axolotl]

Spoilers ig

The main vilain of the fic is going to be a mad scientist

- his name is Schrödinger

- hes a maine coon

The mad scientist is a cat named Schrödinger.

I swear im trying to take this seriously