#feathers and frosting wilhelm

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 5

[Close encounter]

_______________________________________

"Are you sure the box is burried here, Nines?" Diogenes could have sworn he remembered where it was. He sighed, barely recognising the surrounding area. He was close to telling Arthur he didn't know where the box was. It had been such a long time. But not nearly long enough...

"If you three are getting tired of this, I completely understand that." Diogenes said, turning to Billie and her two friends. "Just let us know, and one of us will bring you right back." Billie, Lily, and Lewis however, had no such plans. They had jumped on the oppertunity to tag along and potentialy learn more about Aristotle and Arthur, and weren't about to give up anytime soon. "Why did my dad call you that?" Not being shure wether to give billie a definative answer or not, Diogenes shrugged off the question. "It's just an inside joke, Billie."

Huh. This place felt oddly familiar. "I remember now!" Diogenes exclaimed. "It's just behind those rocks over there." As soon as he had said that, the three kids sprinted towards the afformentioned rock formation. "Kids," Arthur sighed, as he and Diogenes followed them, the latter summoning a shovel.

"The fuck is that thing?!" "Billie! Language!" Shocked by his daughter's choise of words, Arthur turned around to see what Billie was talking about. Running across the shore with a panicked expression was what looked to be a big muffin. Hold on. That couldn't be right. Still, even as he looked again, the muffin was still there, running in their direction.

When the muffin reached them, it quickly hid behind Diogenes. He had no idea why, but is question was answered before he could ask it. "Hey! Hand over the muffin and no one gets hurt!" Diogenes angrily answered the short red panda: "I sugest you leave right now, or you're the one getting hurt." "I'll have you know we have powerfull friends." The man gestured at the two people beside him while saying this.

Now he'd done it. Fearing for the children's safety, Arthur and Diogenes weren't taking any risks, and Diogenes had already summoned his crossbow. "We are powerfull ourselves. By the time your friends get here, it'l be too late for you." Ignoring the warning, the red panda started approaching the group. Nope. Not happening. Diogenes aimed his crossbow and pulled the trigger.

The panda, having been hit in the lower arm, let out a bloodcurdling scream. The group had clearly gotten the hint, as they immediately fled the scene. "Are you okay buddy?" Diogenes asked the muffin. "Yes, i'm fine." The muffin answered, and simply left after that. Huh.

Arthur and Diogenes, with the children in tow, continued towards where the box was burried. Knowing where it was, digging it back up again wasn't much of a hastle. Pulling the box out of the ground, the group decided they would look inside the next day.

[nemesisbinxartifactseries]

Artifact Series J

J. Allen Hynek's Telescope

J. Edgar Hoover's Tie

J. McCullough's Golf Ball

J. Templer's Wind-Up Tin Rooster *

J. C. Agajanian’s Stetson

J.T. Saylors's Overalls

J.M. Barrie’s Swiss Trychels

J.M.W. Turner's Rain, Steam and Speed-The Great Western Railway *

J.R.R. Tolken's Ring

Jack-in-the-Box

Jack's Magic Beanstalk

Jack Daniel's Original Whisky Bottle

Jack Dawson's Art Kit

Jack Duncan's Spur *

Jack Frost's Staff

Jack Kerouac's Typewriter

Jack Ketch's Axe

Jack LaLanne's Stationary Bike *

Jack London's Dog Collar

Jack Parson's Rocket Engine

Jack Sheppard's Hammer

Jack Sparrow's Compass

Jack Torrance's Croquet Mallet

Jack the Ripper's Lantern *

Jackie Robinson's Baseball

Jackson Pollock's "No. 5, 1948"

Jackson Pollock's Pack of Cigarettes

Jackson Pollock's Paint Cans

Jack's Regisword

Jack Vettriano's "The Singing Butler"

Jack's Wrench

Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm's Kinder- und Hausmarchen

Jacob "Jack" Kevorkian's Otoscope

Jacob Kurtzberg's Belt *

Jacqueline Cochran's Brooch

Jacques Aymar-Vernay’s Dowsing Rod

Jacques Cousteau's Goggles

Jacques Cousteau's Diving Suit

Jacques-Louis David's Napoleon Crossing the Alps *

Jade Butterfly

Jadeite Cabbage

Jalal-ud-Din Muhammad Akbar's Smoke Pipe

Jamaica Ginger Bottle

Jaleel White's Hosting Chair

James Abbot McNeill Whistler's Whistler's Mother *

James Allen's Memoir

James Bartley's Britches

James Ben Ali Haggin's Leaky Fountain Pen

James Bert Garner’s Gas Mask

James Bett's Cupboard Handle

James Braid's Chair *

James Brown's Shoes

James Bulger's Sweater

James Buzzanell's Painting "Grief and Pain"

James Buzzanell’s Survey Books

James C. McReynolds’ Judicial Robe

James Chadwick's Nobel Prize

James Clerk Maxwell's Camera Lens

James Colnett's Otter Pelt

James Condliff's Skeleton Clock

James Cook's Mahiole and Feather Cloak

James Craik's Spring Lancet

James Dean's 1955 Prosche 550 Spyder, aka "Little Bastard"

James Dean's UCLA Varsity Jacket

James Dinsmoor's Dinner Bell

James Eads How’s Bindle

James Earl Ray's Rifle

James Fenimore Cooper's Arrow Heads

James Gandolfini's Jukebox

James Hadfield’s Glass Bottle of Water

James Hall III’s Shopping Bags

James Henry Atkinson's Mouse Trap

James Henry Pullen’s Mannequin

James Hoban's Drawing Utensils

James Holman’s Cane

James Hutton's Overcoat

James Joyce’s Eyepatch

James M. Barrie's Grandfather Clock

James M. Barrie's Suitcase

James Murrell's Witch Bottle

James Philip’s Riata

James Prescott Joule's Thermodynamic Generator

James Smithson's Money

James Tilly Matthews’ Air Loom

James Warren and Willoughby Monzani's Piece of Wood

James Watt's Steam Condenser

James Watt's Weather Vane

James W. Marshall’s Jar

Jan Baalsrud’s Stretcher

Jan Baptist van Helmont's Willow Tree

Jane Austen's Carriage

Jane Austen's Gloves

Jane Austen's Quill

Jane Bartholomew's "Lady Columbia" Torch

Jane Pierce's Veil

Janet Leigh's Shower Curtain

Janine Charrat's Ballet Slippers

Jan Janzoon's Boomerang *

Janis Joplin's Backstage Pass from Woodstock *

Jan Karski's Passport

Janus Coin *

Jan van Eyck’s Chaperon

Jan van Speyk's Flag of the Netherlands

Jan Wnęk's Angel Figurine

Jan Žižka's Wagenburg Wagons

The Japanese Nightingale

Jar of Dust from the Mount Asama Eruption

Jar of Greek Funeral Beans

Jar of Marbles

Jar of Molasses from The Boston Molasses Disaster

Jar of Sand

Jar of Semper Augustus Bulbs

Jar of Shiva

Jar of Sugar Plums

Jascha Heifetz's Violin Bow

Jason Voorhese's Machete

Javed Iqbal's Barrel of Acid

Jay Maynard's Tron Suit

Jean II Le Maingre's Gauntlets

Jean Baptiste Charbonneau’s Cradleboard

Jean-Baptiste-Siméon Chardin's Bubble Pipe

Jean Chastel's Silver Gun

Jean Eugène Robert-Houdin's Pocket Watch

Jean Fleury's Aztec Gold Coins

Jean-François Champollion’s Ideographic Dictionary

Jean Froissart's Mirror *

Jean-Frédéric Peugeot's Pepper Mill

Jean Hilliard’s Earmuffs

Jean Parisot de Valette’s Sword Sheath

Jean-Paul Marat's Bathtub

Jean Paul-Satre’s Paper Cutter

Jean-Pierre Christin's Thermometer

Jean Senebier's Bundle of Swiss Alpine Flowers

Jean Valnet's Aromatherapy Statue

Jean Vrolicq’s Scrimshaw

Jeanne Baret's Hat

Jeanne de Clisson's Black Fleet

Jeanne Villepreux-Power's Aquarium

Jeannette Piccard's Sandbag

Jeff Dunham's First Ventriloquist Box

Jefferson Davis' Boots

Jefferson Randolph Smith's Soap Bar

Jeffrey Dahmer's Handkerchief

Jeffrey Dahmer's Pick-Up Sticks

Jemmy Hirst's Carriage Wheel

Jenny Lind's Stage Makeup

Jeopardy! Contestant Podiums

Jerome Monroe Smucker's Canning Jars

Jerry Andrus’ Organ

Jerry Garcia's Blackbulb *

Jerry Siegel's Sketchbook

Jesse James' Saddle

Jesse James' Pistol

Jesse Owens' Hitler Oak

Jesse Owens' Running Shoes

Jesse Pomeroy's Ribbon and Spool

Jester's Mask

Jesus of Nazareth's Whip

Jesús García's Brake Wheel

Jet Engine from the Gimli Glider

Jet Glass Cicada Button

Jethro Tull's Hoe

Jeweled Scabbard of Sforza

Jiang Shunfu’s Mandarin Square

Jim Davis' Pet Carrier

Jim Fixx's Shorts

Jim Henson's Talking Food Muppets

Jim Jones' Sunglasses

Jim Londos' Overalls

Jim Robinson's Army Bag

Jim Thorpe's Shoulder Pads

Jim Ward's Piercing Samples

Jimi Hendrix's Bandana

Jimi Hendrix's Bong

Jimi Hendrix's Guitars *

Jimmie Rodgers Rail Brake

Jimmy Durante's Cigar

Jimmy Gibb Jr's Stock Car

Jimmy Hoffa's Comb

Jin Dynasty Chainwhip

Jingle Harness

Joan II, Duchess of Berry's Dress

Joan of Arc's Chain Mail

Joan of Arc's Helmet (canon)

Joan Feynman's Ski Pole

Joanna of Castile's Vase

Joan Rivers' Carpet Steamer

Joan Rivers' Red Carpet

Joe Ades's Potato Peeler

Joe Girard’s Keys

Joe Rosenthal's Camera Lens

Joel Brand's Playing Cards

Joséphine de Beauharnais' Engagement Ring

Johan Alfred Ander’s Piece of Porcelain

Johann Baptist Isenring’s Acacia Tree

Johann Bartholomaeus Adam Beringer's Lying Stones

Johann Blumhardt's Rosary

Johann Dzierzon’s Beehive Frame

Johann Georg Elser's Postcard

Johann Maelzel's Metronome *

Johann Rall's Poker Cards

Johann Tetzel's Indulgence

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's Prism

Johannes Brahms' Coffee Creamer

Johannes Diderik van der Waals' Gloves

Johannes Fabricius' Camera Obscura

Johannes Gutenburg's Memory Paper *

Johannes Gutenburg's Printing Press *

Johannes Gutenberg's Printing Press Keys

Johannes Kepler's Planetary Model

Johannes Kepler's Telescope Lense

Johannes Kjarval’s Landscape Painting

John A. Macready's Ray-Bans *

John A. Roebling's Steel Cable

John A.F. Maitland's Musical Brainnumber *

John André’s Stocking

John Anthony Walker's Minox

John Axon's Footplate

John Babbacombe Lee’s Trapdoor

John Bardeen's Radio

John Bodkin Adams’ Stethoscope

John Brown's Body *

John Brown's Machete

John C. Koss SP3 Stereophones

John C. Lilly's Isolation Tank Valve

John Cabot's Map

John Carl Wilcke's Rug *

John Crawley's Painting

John Croghan's Limestone Brick

John Dalton's Weather Vane

John Dee's Golden Talisman

John Dee's Obsidian Crystal Ball

John Dee’s Seal of God

John DeLorean's Drawing Table

John Dickson Carr's Driving Gloves

John Dillinger's Pistol *

John D. Grady’s Satchel

John D. Rockefeller's Bible

John D. Rockefeller, Sr. and Jr.'s Top Hats

John Dwight's Hammer

John F. Kennedy's Coconut

John F. Kennedy's Presidental Limousine

John F. Kennedy's Tie Clip *

John Flaxman's Casting Molds

Sir John Franklin's Scarf

John Gay's Shilling

John Gillespie Magee, Jr.'s Pen

John H. Kellogg's Bowl

John H. Kellogg's Corn Flakes

John H. Lawrence's Pacifier

John Hancock's Quill

John Harrison’s Longcase Clock

John Hawkwood’s Lance

John Hendrix's Bible

John Henry Moore's White Banner

John Henry's Sledge Hammer

John Hetherington's Top Hat

John Holland, 2nd Duke of Exeter's Torture Rack

John Holmes Pump *

John Hopoate's Cleats

John Howard Griffin's Bus Fare

John Hunter's Stitching Wire

John Hunter's Surgical Sutures

John J. Pershing's Boots

John Jacob Astor's Beaver Pelt

John Jervis’ Ship

John Joshua Webb’s Rock Chippings

John Kay's Needle

John Keat's Grecian Urn *

John, King of England's Throne

John L. Sullivan's Boots

John Langdon Down's Stencils

John Lawson's Mannequin Legs

John Lennon's Glasses

John "Liver-Eating" Johnson's Axe

John Logie Baird's Scanning Disk *

John M. Allegro's Fly Amanita

John Macpherson's Ladle

John Malcolm's Chunk of Skin

John Malcolm's Skin Wallet

John McEnroe's Tennis Racket *

John Milner's Yellow '32 Ford Deuce Coupe

John Moore-Brabazon’s Waste Basket

John Morales' McGruff Suit

John Mytton’s Carriage

John Pasche's Rolling Stones Poster Design

John Paul Jones's Sword

John Pemberton's Tasting Spoon

John Philip Sousa's Sousaphone

John Rambo's Composite Bow

John Rykener's Ring

John Shore's Tuning Fork

John Simon's Mouthwash

John Simon Ritchie's Padlock Necklace

John Smith of Jamestown's Sword

John Snow's Dot Map

John Snow’s Pump Handle

John Stapp’s Rocket Sled

John Steinbeck's Luger

John Sutcliffe's Camera

John Sutter's Pickaxe

John Tunstall's Horse Saddle

John Trumbull's "Painting of George Washington"

John von Neumann's Abacus

John Walker's Walking Stick

John Wayne Gacy's Clown Painting *

John Wayne Gacy's Facepaint

John Wesley Hardin's Rosewood Grip Pistol

John Wesley Powell's Canoe

John Wesley Powell’s Canteen

John Wilkes Booth's Boot *

John Wilkes Booth Wanted Poster

John William Polidori's Bookcase

Johnny Ace's Gun

Johnny Appleseed's Tin Pot *

Johnny Campbell's University of Minnesota Sweater

Johnny Depp's Scissor Gloves

Johnny Smith's Steering Wheel

Johnny Weismuller's Loincloth *

Joker's BANG! Revolver

Jon Stewart's Tie

Jonathan Coulton's Guitar

Jonathan R. Davis' Bowie Knife

Jonathan Shay's Copy of Iliad/Odyssey

Jonestown Water Cooler

Jorge Luis Borges' Scrapbook

José Abad Santos' Pebble

José Delgado’s Transmitter

Jose Enrique de la Pena's Chest Piece

Jōsei Toda’s Gohonzon Butsudan

Josef Frings’ Ferraiolo

Josef Mengele's Scalpel

Josef Stefan's Light Bulbs

Joseph of Arimathea's Tomb Rock

Joseph of Cupertino's Medallion *

Joseph Day's Sickle

Joseph Ducreux's Cane

Joseph Dunninger's Pocket Watch

Joseph Dunningers’ Props

Joseph E. Johnston Confederate Flag

Joseph Force Crater's Briefcases

Joseph Fourier's Pocket Knife

Joseph Glidden’s Barbed Wire

Joseph Goebbels' Radio *

Joseph Jacquard's Analytical Loom

Joseph Bolitho Johns’ Axe

Joseph Kittinger's Parachute

Joseph Lister's Padding

Joseph McCarthy's List of Communists

Joseph Merrick's Hood

Joseph-Michel Montgolfier's Wicker Basket

Joseph Moir’s Token

Joseph Pilate's Resistance Bands *

Joseph Polchinski’s Billiard Ball

Joseph Stalin's Gold Star Medal *

Joseph Stalin's Sleep Mask *

Joseph Swan's Electric Light

Joseph Vacher's Accordion

Joseph Vacher's Dog Skull

Joseph Valachi's '58 Chevrolet Impala

Josephus' Papyrus

Joseph Wolpe's Glasses

Josephine Cochrane's Dishwasher

Joshua's Trumpet *

Josiah S. Carberry's Cracked Pot

Joshua Vicks' Original Batch of Vicks Vapor Rub

Josiah Wedgewood's Medallion

Jost Burgi's Armillary Sphere *

Jovan Vladimir's Cross

Juana the Mad of Castiles' Crown

Juan Luis Vives' Quill Set

Juan Moreira’s Facón

Juan Pounce de Leon's Chalice

Juan Ponce de León's Helmet

Juan Seguin's Bandolier

Jubilee Grand Poker Chip *

Judah Loew ben Belazel's Amulet *

Judas Iscariot’s Thirty Silver Coins

Judson Laipply's Shoes

Jules Baillarger's Decanter

Jules Leotard's Trapeze Net

Jules Verne's Original Manuscripts

Julia Agrippa's Chalice

Julia Child's Apron *

Julia Child's Whisk

Julian Assange’s Flash Drive

Julie d’Aubigny's Sabre

Julius and Ethel Rosenberg's Wedding Rings

Julius Asclepiodotus’ Shield Boss

Julius Caesar's Wreath

Julius Wilbrand's Lab Coat Buttons *

Jumanji

Jumper Cables

Junji Koyama’s Vegetables

Jure Sterk's Ballpoint Pen

Jürgen Wattenberg's Leather Provision Bag

Justa Grata Honoria’s Engagement Ring

Justin Bieber's Guitar

Justinian I's Chariot Wheel

Justin O. Schmidt's Wasp Mask

Justus von Liebig's Fertilizer Sack

Justus von Liebig's Mirror

[eriiidi-blog]

Name: Ei’dewana-erididii Alias’: Edwin Wilhelm Alexander Zarpedon in English,  Edvin Vihelm Alezander  Zaprdon in Slovak, Ed, Eddie, Edward Age: around 1.5 million years old, appears 20 years old. Gender: Male Species: Eridian Siren Birthdate: March 1st, 1,497,988 B.C. Time of birth: 12:00 AM Country/Homeworld of Origin: Eridii Borderlands Birthplace:  Navendii  Ethnicity: Appears White Caucasian; is actually an humanoid ethnicity unbeknownst to man Occupation: Siren, Knight of the Vault (Seewit’ndev’la)  Language(s): Eridian, Slovak, English Native tongue: Eridian Religion:  Eridii’mila’xwod (House of Eridian Gods)  --- Culture: Eridian Cultural Background: [tba] Political affiliation: Unaffiliated --- Education: High establishment IQ: 8,000 (beyond humans, basically) Weapons/Offensive equipment:  a warhammer, several Dahl & Eridian weapons Items/Defensive equipment/Misc: ECHO, recharging shield, Eridian haloshield Money/Amount of: 7840 Eridian krizkus ($79,000,400 US) -Funds (On person): 120 EK -Funds (In bank): 7720 EK Transportation: Siren flight --- Recent pictures: unknown Blood type: 6700 Nanos (AB+ in human blood type) Height: 6′3 Weight: 156′ Eye Color: Bright violet Hair: Short, black hair, with dark purple highlights Skin: (Color/complexion) Very pale with purple splotches Shoe size: 12″ Figure/build: Athletic --- Distinguishing marks: Purple splotches -Tattoo(s): Eridian tribal marks -Scars:  Vault scars along the back.   -Piercings: Eridium crystal piercings -Clothing style:

---

more to be added

[  WEALTH  ]

$ Financial : wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty / subsisting. ✚ Medical : fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable ✪ Class or Caste : upper / middle / working / street trash / slave / unsure ✔ Education : qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record : yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but has not been caught yet

[  FAMILY  ]

◒ Children : has a child or children / has no children / wants children / verse dependent / is a child (in primary verses) ◑ Relationship with Family : close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased / estranged ◔ Affiliation : orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable / verse dependent

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES  ]

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ disorganized / organized / in between ♦ close-minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between ♦ leader / follower / in between ♦ empathetic / unempathetic / in between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[  BELIEFS  ]

★ Faith : monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic / it’s complicated ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious : orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical : yes / no

[  SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION  ]

❤ Sexuality : heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / Demisexual ❥ Sex : sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / curious ❣ Sexually : adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious / inhibited ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all

[  ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none   ≡ Literacy Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[  HABITS  ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ☁ Smoking : trying to quit / never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ✿ Other Narcotics : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ✌ Medicinal Drugs : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ☻ Indulgent Food : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess $ Splurge Spending : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ♣ Gambling : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

( obvious aesthetics in bold. secret aesthetics italicized )

[ COLORS ] red. brown. orange. yellow. green. blue. purple. pink. black. white. teal. silver. gold. grey. lilac. metallic. matte. royal blue. strawberry red. charcoal grey. forest green.apple red. navy blue. crimson. cream. mint green. chartreuse.

[ ELEMENTS ] fire. ice. water. air. earth. rain. snow. wind. moon. stars. sun. heat.cold.steam. frost. lightning. sunlight. moonlight. dawn. dusk. twilight. midnight. sunrise. sunset. dewdrops. acid.

[ BODY ] claws. long fingers. fangs. teeth. wings. tails. lips. bare feet. freckles. bruises. canine. scars. scratches. wounds. burns. spikes. feathers. webs. eyes. hands. sweat. tears. feline. chubby. curvy. flexible. short. tall. normal height. muscular. piercing. tattoos.

[ WEAPONS ] fists. sword. dagger. spear. arrow. hammer. shield. poison. guns. axes. throwing axes. whips. knives. throwing knives. pepper sprays. tasers. machine guns. slingshots. katanas. maces. staffs. wands. powers. magical items. magic. rocks. mud balls

.[ MATERIALS ] gold. silver. platinum. titanium. diamonds. pearls. rubies. sapphires.emeralds. amethyst. metal. iron. rust. steel. glass. wood. porcelain. paper. wool.fur.lace.leather. silk. velvet. denim. linen. cotton. charcoal. clay. stone. asphalt. brick. marble. dust.glitter. blood. dirt. mud. smoke. ash. shadow. carbonate. rubber. synthetics. latex. spandex.

[ NATURE ] grass. leaves. trees. bark. roses. daisies. tulips. sunflowers. lavender.petals.thorns. seeds. hay. sand. rocks. roots. flowers. ocean. river. meadow. forest. desert. tundra. savanna. rainforest. caves. underwater. coral reef. beach. waves. space.clouds. mountains.

[ ANIMALS ] lions. wolves. eagles. owls. falcons. hawks. swans. vultures. snakes. turtles. ducks. bugs. spiders. birds. whales. dolphins. fish. sharks. horses. cats. dogs. bunnies. praying mantises. crows. ravens. mice. lizards. raccoons. minks. foxes. werewolves. unicorns. pegasus. dragons. rats.

[ FOODS/DRINKS ] sugar. salt. candy. bubblegum. wine. champagne. hard liquor. whiskey.beer. coffee. tea. spices. herbs. apple. orange. lemon. lime. cherry. strawberry. blackberry. blueberry watermelon. vegetables. fruits. meat. fish. pies. desserts. chocolate. cream.caramel. berries. nuts. cinnamon. burgers. burritos. pizza. tacos. ambrosia.

[ HOBBIES ] music. art. watercolors. gardening. smiting.sculpting. painting. sketching. fighting. writing. composing. cooking. sewing. training. dancing. acting.singing. karaoke.martial arts. self-defense. electronics. technology. cameras. video cameras. video games. computer. phone. movies. theater. libraries. books. magazines. cds. records.vinyls.cassettes. piano. violin. guitar. electric guitar. bass guitar. harmonica. harp.woodwinds. brass. bells. playing cards. poker chips. chess. dice. surfing. skateboarding. snowboarding. motorcycle riding. eating. climbing. running.

[ STYLE ] lingerie. armor. cape. dress. tunic. vest. shirt. boots. heels. leggings. trousers.jeans. skirt. shorts. jewelry. earrings. necklace. bracelet. ring. pendant. hat.crown. circlet. helmet. scarf. brocade. cloaks. trench coats. dusters. corsets. doublet. chest plate. gorget. bracers. suspenders. belt. sash. coat. jacket. hood. gloves. socks. masks. cowls. braces. watches. glasses. sunglasses. visor. eye contacts. makeup. greasepaint

.[ MISC ] balloons. bubbles. cityscape. light. dark. candles. war. peace. money. power. percussion. clocks. photos. mirrors. pets. diary. die-ary. fairy lights. madness. sanity.sadness. happiness. optimism. pessimism. indifference. loneliness. family. friends.assistants. co-workers. enemies. loyalty. smoking. drugs. kindness. love. hugs.

[alamio]

willkommen-in-germany: “Frau Holle” (aka “Mother Hulda” or “Old...

“Frau Holle” (aka “Mother Hulda” or “Old Mother Frost”) is a German fairy tale that comes from the book Kinder- und Hausmärchen, collected by the Grimm brothers. It’s the 24th story in the first volume of the book, published in 1812. 

The legend, as it was later passed to the Grimm Brothers, originates from oral traditions in Hessen, Central Germany. It was told by Henriette Dorothea Wild, whom Wilhelm Grimm married in 1825. It’s still a common expression in Hessen and beyond to say “Frau Holle is making her bed” when it’s snowing - that is, she shakes out her feather bed and out comes snow from heaven. Like many other tales collected by the Grimms, the story was used to teach a moral - in Frau Holle, it is that hard work is rewarded and laziness is punished.

Marija Gimbutas names Hulda/Holle as having originally been an ancient Germanic supreme goddess who predates most of the Germanic pantheon, including deities such as Odin, Thor, Freya, and Loki, and continues traditions of pre-Indo-European Neolithic Europe. As Christianity slowly replaced Paganism in the early Middle Ages, many of the old customs were gradually lost or assimilated into Christian tradition. By the end of the High Middle Ages, Paganism was almost completely marginalized and blended into rural folklore, in which the character of Frau Holle survived. In Germanic Pre-Christian folklore, Hulda, Holda, Holle and Holla were all names to denote a single being. According to Erika Timm, Perchta emerged from an amalgamation of Germanic and pre-Germanic traditions of the Alpine region after the Migration Period in the Early Middle Ages. Hulda is also related to the Germanic figure of Perchta. She dwells at the bottom of a well, rides a wagon, and first taught the craft of making linen from flax. Holle is the goddess to whom children who died as infants go - she’s alternatively known as both, the Dunkle Großmutter (Dark Grandmother) and the Weisse Frau (White Lady), elements associated with Grimm’s tale as well. Her connection to the spirit world through the magic of spinning and weaving has associated her with witchcraft in Catholic German folklore.

Frau Holle is one of Germany’s most durable female legendary figures and represents a pre-Christian deity who survived in popular belief and in the memory of common people well into the 1900th century.

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 4

[Lost and found]

_______________________________________

How long had it been? Ten days? Three weeks? It must have been longer than that. In any case, it had been far too long. Every passing hour felt just as wrong as the last. Yet still... As Frank across the by now familiar beach, next to the same waves as all the times before, they found themself wondering. The muffin tried not to think too much about the implications of their conciousness. They had long lost hope in ever learning the reason behind their existance, if there even was any.

They had been walking for hours when they decided to take a short break. As they sat down on a nearby rock, Frank looked out at the sea. Besides the foaming waves crashing onto the shore, all they could see was a small boat in the distance. While it certainly was a nice view, the muffin continued their hike. Inside the boat, the three smugglers were debating their next move.

"Im starting to think that muffin is never going to show up. It's been more than seven hours, and we still havent seen the thing. Are you sure it's even coming, Charlie?" "For the third time in the past half hour, yes Liam, I am." While Liam and Charlie had spend the time bickering about wether or not the muffin was realy that predictable, Wilhelm had been outside, scanning the coast for any sign of life.

"Hey Charlie, Liam! You need to come here!" Saying this, Wilhelm handed the binoculars he'd been using to Liam, who quickly looked in the direction he was pointing. "Well wouldn't you know it. The muffin is walking right there!" Having nearly dropped the binoculars in suprise, Liam called Charlie over as well. "What are we waiting for?" Wilhelm added. "Lets go!"

Something seemed off. Frank, still calmly observing the ocean and shore around them, noticed that the boat they had seen earlier had changed its course. That couldn't be a good sign.

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Character introduction

Some basic info/backstories about the non-canon characters. More information will be revealed later on.

Diogenes:

Full name: Diogenes Weaver

Appearance:

He's a tall, darkish brown axolotl. He wears a thick, dark grey cloak similar to the one socrates wears, exept Diogenes' doesnt reach all the way to the ground. Diogenes tends to hide his left hand due to [spoilers].

Pronouns: he/him. Age: 47

Background info:

Diogenes has autism and ADHD. He and Aristotle have known each other for decades, and are very close friends. He is a well respected alchemist, and has been teaching the subject for close to seventeen years now.

Frank

Full name: Frankenmuffin

Appearance:

Large muffin, about two foot in hight while standing up. He has got a polkadotted liner, and wears a orange and black friendship bracelet.

Pronouns: they/them

Schrödinger

Full name: O. Schrödinger

Appearance:

Schrödinger is a tall, black and white maine coon. He has a thick mustashe and typicaly wears a lab coat.

Pronouns: he/him. Age: 46

Background info:

He's a mad scientist, involved in a lot of shady projects. Schrödinger is currently working on something involving necromacy. While at one point he had a lover, that relationship came to a bitter end due to Schrödingers lust for power.

Wilhelm

Appearance:

He's a red panda, and relatively short in stature.

Pronouns: he/him. Age: 56

Liam

Appearance:

Liam is a tall, grey ferret, and wears a blue jacket.

Pronouns: he/him. Age: 32

Charlie

Appearance:

She is a hegdehog, and has bright blue eyes.

Pronouns: she/her. Age: 34

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 0, part 3.

[Not according to plan]

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Two weeks earlier

It was a cloudy, moonless night. The three smugglers had planned for this, as they couldnt afford to be seen. Despite the darkness concealing their boat from anyone looking out to see, it still wasnt certain that the cargo the smugglers were transporting would reach its final destination. The magic gem had recently been stolen from a collector, who was hellbent on getting the artifact back.

"There are several ships headed in our direction." A red panda named Wilhelm, whom had previously been outside to look out for potential danger, hurried inside to warn the rest of the crew. "They cannot find the gem, or the whole operation could fail. Anyone got a plan?" The silence that filled the small cabin was deafening, as non of the smugglers could think of anything.

The youngest, a hegdehog named Charlie, quietly spoke up. "We could hide it inside of a big muffin." While her plan was ridiculous, no one had any better ideas, so the crew quickly got to work.

They had just put the muffin batter containing the gem inside the small oven they had on board for long trips, when they heard footsteps on the deck. "This is the police, open the door!" Liam, the grey ferret who happened to be near the door at this time, slowly opened it.

As the cop walked in he was looking around the room for signs that the gem was there, but there were non. "Im very sorry for all of this, but there was a report made about a very powerfull artifact being stolen, and now we have to search every ship that we come across." After another quick look the cop nodded to the crew. "You're all good, stay safe out there." And with that, he had already left.

"That went well." About twenty minutes had past since the cop had left, and the crew had just started to catch their breath. "Does anyone else hear that noise?" They all heard that noise, and it was coming from the oven. Then, a blinding flash followed.

When they could see again, all the smugglers saw was a large muffin, surrounded by what left of the oven.

Exept, the muffin had grown legs.

And arms.

And it had a face.

Looking panicked, the muffin ran to one of the windows, wich had been blown open by the explosion, and jumped out, into the cold water. Even as the three smugglers looked from outside, they couldnt see a trace of the muffin, and they all realised what had just happened. "Were fucked."

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 15

[Ambush the muffin]

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The sounds of the ocean, birds calling out in the distance, waves sloshing against the hull of the wooden ship, were calm. Wilhelm easily tuned them out while looking for the one thing that wouldn't fit it: a large, sentient, muffin. "Are you sure it'l come back, Charlie?" "According to my calculations, it should be here any second now." Wilhelms coworker called out from inside.

A few more moments passed without noticable event. Then, as if Charlie had somehow summoned it, the muffin came into view having climbed over a particularly large sand dune. The smugglers quickly docked their ship, and when they stepped onto shore the muffin hadn't seen them yet.

Charlie turned to Liam. "You grab the cage, we grab the muffin." A simple plan, but the less steps, the less that can go wrong. Wilhelm, still injured, shouted suddenly. The distraction worked, and Charlie jumped onto the muffin. A lot of shouting followed, but in just a few minutes the muffin, and by extention the gem, had been secured. Having placed their first objective in the far corner of the boat cabin, the smugglers started to discuss what to do next.

"So now what," Liam started, adressing Wilhelm. "Do we get the gem from the muffin? Consideringthat it's the reason the thing is alive i'd assume that that would kill it" "Its best to leave it in untill we get to the lab. The explosion might have compromised it, and I dont want to be the one who has to explain to dr. Schrödinger that we broke the gem of immortality. Lets just get back while luck is still on our side."

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Gem of immortality? Schrödinger? Lab? The amalgamation of sylables didn't mean much to Frank, but they internalised it anyway. They were still a bit shaken up from being manhandled, and weren't about to test fate by speaking up. Though there was one spark of hope. And more importantly, an answer. A magic gem had brought them to life and was currently preventing them from undoing that.

The ship docked at a small port, and all three smugglers left. Frank assumed they didn't think they would be able to escape, and didn't hesitate to prove them wrong. Neither the cage or the door were locked securely, and they left within minutes.

Their bracelet, wich the smugglers didn't bother looking at closely, brought them to a scientist who would love to hear the information that Frank had acuired.

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And that he did. "The gem of immortality, you say? Can't say i've read much about it, so i'm going to assume it was discovered somewhat recently. Still, a lead is a lead. Now we have something we can work from." Barnaby had listened with great interest as Frank told him the series of events that had occured mere hours prior.

The muffin turned to leave once more when Barnaby interrupted them. "Come on, stay a while. The party is just about to begin, and the more the merrier!" "I'd rather not today, but I appreciate the offer." Truth be told, Franks mind was somewhere else, still repeating the smugglers' words.

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_______________________________________

"Did we need anything else?" "Let me look. Bandages for Wilhelm, bread, mayo, and some beers to celibrate later. I think we have everything." Feeling good about themselves, Wilhelm, Charlie, and Liam made their way back to the boat, intending to finaly be done eith their mission.

But as they got closer, they realised the front door was open. "Was that door open when we left?" "No, but it doesn't lock very well, you know that Charlie. I've told you this before, not my foult you still havent fixed it." "Do you think I have nothing better to do?!" "Guys, come on. Arguing isn't gonna do anything. Lets just go inside, get the muffin to Schrödinger, and be done with this."

Both agreed with Wilhelm. However when they stepped inside they all simultaniously realised why the door had been open: the cage where the muffin had previously been trapped in, was open as well. "I knew we should have left someone to stand guard!" "Then you should have said so, smartass." Wilhelm just sighed. The whole opperation should have been over weeks ago, yet they were back where they started.

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Heyy. I know its been a while, but im feeling a hell of a lot better lately. Will be posting more often after this lol.

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 0, part 7.

[Cat and mouse]

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A door slammed loudly in the southern most part of the laboratory. The news of the gem not arriving must have reached the lead scientist. The man looked like he was going to strangle someone. His footsteps echo'd trough the halls as he made his way to the package depot. Those three better had a damn good explanation.

"What happened?" The words cut trough the air like a knife as the smugglers struggled to come up with an answer. Charlie was the first to say something. "Were not entirely sure either, doctor Schrödinger. What I can tell you is that we werent found out." The scientist clearly wasnt satisfied with the answer.

Dr. Schrödinger was a tall, black and white maine coon with thick mustache, and the lead scientist on a whole array of shady projects. His current work: necromacy. The gem Schrödinger was after was the gem of immortality, and he strongly believed that it would help him.

"What do mean 'you dont know'? That gem must be somewhere. Are you trying to tell me the thing grew legs and walked away?!" This time it was Liam who said something. "It did, sir. We tried baking the gem into a muffin to hide it from the cops, but then the oven exploded, the muffin had grown arms and legs, and then it jumped out of the window. We tried to find it but we couldnt."

Schrödingers face showed a mix of anger and confusion as he tried to process what he just heard, before deciding how to proceed. "You three have got one more chance to prove yourselves usefull. Either you bring me that muffin, or you're all fired." The smugglers all breathed a sigh of relief. That could have gone a lot worse.

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 9

[Knowledge is power]

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-Three months prior

"If you need me, dont. Just dont need me." That was all that Schrödinger said as he left the laboratory at the crack of dawn. He had given neither the time he'd expect to return, nor an explanation about the reason he left in the first place. Wilhelm, who has seen him leave, could only guess where the scientist was going.

By the time Schrödinger reached the old dungeon, it was close to being noon. Still, he wasnt anywhere close to being done with his search. As he walked trough the cold hallways the cold, damp air surrounded him like a wet blanket. Schrödinger hoped that the humidity hadn't damaged the book he'd been after for the past five months.

There it was. On a high up shelf, between books of various other subjects, was an old book about numerous forms of arcane magic. Schrödinger layed it down on a nearby desk, and started looking for a specific chapter. Somehow the book was still in prestine condition. After flipping through the pages for a short while, he found what he needed.

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On necromacy

Necromacy, or bringing a person back to life after they have passed, has been studied by many, and for many years. Numerous attempts have been made, but no one has ever succeded as of me writing this. Still, the scientific comunity remains hopefull that this could someday become reality.

I propose the following theory: it is possible to bring one back from the dead, but it would simply require to much magic. Even the most powerfull magic users can only channel so much magic at a time. Realisticaly, only someone with an extemely high magic potential would be able to cast such a spell.

If the above requirement is met, it would still be no easy feat. A magic gem would be needed for spell. As i've mentioned before, magic gems are extremely rare, and finding the one you need will be very dificult. If you wanted to try this, you will need the white gem, otherwise known as the gem of immortality.

With the right spells, its life-preserving magic could theoreticly be manipulated in a way that would allow its user to bring something or someone back from death.

Of course, all of the above is purely theoretical, and should never be attempted. If anything goes wrong, the results could be catastrophic.

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Schrödinger knew what he needed to know. With this information, he would be able to revive the troll. With that amphibian no longer around, no one would be there to stop him! He closed the book and left the dungeon. His next step would be to accuire the gem of immortality.

When Schrödinger returned to the laboratory, it was late in the afternoon. He had called one of his employees to his office. "Wilhelm, I need you to get me something very important. No one can know about this, understood?" The smuggler nodded, and Schrödinger continued. "Its a very powerfull white gem. The gem of immortality to be more specific. I have asigned Charlie and Liam to assist you in this mission."

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 8

[New plan]

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The return to the boat had been in complete silence. This couldn't have possibly gone any worse. Non of them were in the mood to tempt fate at that moment though, so the thought remained unsaid. Once at their ship, the smugglers, without a word, got to work.

"It's not broken." "Are you sure Liam? Because it hurts like absolute hell." "Yes. Luckily the arrow missed the bone. If it hadn't, you'd be in a whole lot more trouble." Saying this, Liam finished wrapping up the wound on Wilhelms arm. "Just take it easy for now."

"Now what? Go back and tell Schrödinger that we lost the gem of immortality again?" Charlie, who had just finished installing a replacement oven in place of the one that exploded a month earlier, seemed more tense by the minute. "That shouldn't be nececary." Liam interjected. "There has to be a way to capture that damned thing!"

"I say we get a rock that looks like the white gem, give it to Schrödinger, and quit before he notices it's fake." Wilhelm shook his head when Charlie proposed the idea. "If we fake the gem, we might as well fake our own deaths. There's just no way that Schrödinger wont immediately notice the difference." "He's been after the gem for months now!" Liam added, while also attempting to come up with a plan.

"Im sure the muffin will come back here soon enough. It might travel at impossible speeds, but it hasn't been away from this location for more than a few days." "Are you seriously suggesting we do exactly the same thing we just tried, Liam?! Have you been huffing paint thinner or something?!" Wilhelm sighed before continueing. "The muffin was smart enough to run away from us. I doubt it'l return to this place anytime soon."

"Well do you have a better plan, Wilhelm?" "I suggest we wait for now. We track the muffins movements, and maybe we can find some logic behind it. When we see a patern, we ambush the thing. Unless anyone has a better idea?" "I guess thats a plan then." None of the crew had either an objection, or a better plan, so it seemed that they'd be waiting for the foreseeable future.

[bookofnottheaxolotl]

Chapter 2

[Time and location]

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The light of the rising sun shined brightly over the calm surface of the ocean. The sky wore just a few small clouds, wich were carried eastward by a strong wind. In the midst of the peacefull scene, the waves only barely moving it, was a small boat.

Spread out onto a wooden table, surrounded by various newspaper clippings, laid a large map. Pins had been inserted at several locations, seemingly at random. "Why is it, that after almost a month of looking, we still havent a clue where that damn muffin is?" Wilhelm asked no one in particular. "It shouldnt be possible for that thing to be moving that fast. One day its in one place, and the next its practicaly on the other side of the world!"

"I think I do see some sort of patern." Charlie metioned while comparing the dates and locations of the sightings. "The muffin seems to keep returning to the same place near the coast, where it was first seen two weeks ago." Looking at the spot she had pointed at, Wilhelm replied: "I see what you mean. It could be worth it to go there, and wait untill the muffin comes back there again."

Liam, growing increasingly impatient, sighed loudly. "Out of all the white rocks in the world, we're after the only one that can run away! Why does Schrödinger even want that specific one in the first place?" "Well, Liam." Wilhelm replied. "Firstly, its not just any old crystal. It is a magic gem, the gem of immortality to be more specific."

"What does he even need it for, anyway? It's not like the man is dying anytime soon, right?" Liam asked, more hesitant than before. "I was just about to say that." Wilhelm said, peeved about being interrupted. "He's trying to bring something back from the dead. A year or so ago, dr. Schrödinger got his hands on some sort of dead golem, and he's been looking for a way to revive the thing. From what i've gathered, he believes the gem of immortality will help him with that."

Having heard Wilhelms explanation, and learning what was at stake, Liam began to put away the map. According to Charlie's theory, the muffin would be back at the same location in the late afternoon of the following day.

With the table being empty for the first time in weeks, and the fact they had the rest of the day to do whatever, Liam grabbed a deck of cards out of one of the many cluttered drawers. "How about a game of blackjack?" Both Wilhelm and Charlie agreed to the welcome distraction, and the group sat down in a circle at the table. While the game certainly would have been more fun had they been playing with more people, they soon lost track of time.