#finally watched a killer paradox

[inayas]

diabolical 🩸

(spoilers for a killer paradox ep5)

[therainscene]

Stranger Things 4 is themed around A Nightmare on Elm Street -- Vecna is a child-killer-turned-demon who murders teenagers from within their own minds; his heavily scarred skin and clawed hand resemble that of Freddy Krueger; and the actor who played Freddy himself plays his father.

I think Stranger Things 5 is gearing up to do something similar with The Terminator. Linda Hamilton (Sarah Connor) is the upcoming guest star this season; Vecna's exposed skull and vine-covered neck resembles the T-800--

--and Will's speech at the end of S4 bears striking similarities to Kyle Reece's famous "it can't be reasoned with" speech.

If Vecna is the T-800... then the Mind Flayer is the perfect candidate for Skynet.

[And Hawkins National Laboratory is Cyberdyne Systems -- a military-funded lab that meddled with phenomena beyond its ability to control and paved the way for a sinister hive mind to enter the world.]

I'm pretty sure that the Mind Flayer lies at the heart of whatever timey-wimey stuff is going on. It's suspiciously linked to timeline inconsistencies -- Will is already able to sense it in his neck before his possession in S2, and young Henry in TFS is haunted by the spider monster he wasn't supposed to create for another 20 years.

I've already written a theory on how a causal loop could tie Will and Henry to the Mind Flayer -- whatever's going on is probably more complicated than this, since my theory doesn't explain why the Upside Down is frozen -- but it's worth a read, I think, as it's the same type of time paradox as the one in Terminator and could easily be at the core of ST's time shenanigans.

Will is Kyle Reece or Sarah Connor -- so does that mean he's going to be a gun-toting badass?

No.

This scene is Will coming full circle from that moment in the shed at the start of S1: backed into a corner and forced to resort to violence because he sees no other way out. He doesn't want to kill the monster; he has to.

But the difference is that he's not cornered anymore.

This time around, Will knows his enemy, and he has supportive friends and family at his side. He's just so beaten down -- by Vecna, by Hawkins, by perceived rejections from Mike -- that he's lost all confidence in his ability to stand up for himself on his own terms.

I know it seems at first glance that Will advocates the use of violence in desperate times, but consider the context of the episode in which the above scene appears:

Joyce is reminiscing about her missing son while dealing with Lonnie telling her what to do and feel about it. Shortly after, she realizes how manipulative he's being and permanently kicks him out of her life (and the show lol) -- no violence necessary.

Will's advice hadn't been about the value of violence, but about the value of refusing to play by abusers' rules -- a key lesson in Stranger Things, as we've been watching El learn it the hard way over the course of four seasons.

Will cannot self-actualize by "finally" pulling the trigger on an approach that symbolizes his homophobic father's macho expectations. S5 is going to be about him regaining his self-confidence and allowing his authentic, gentle nature to guide him to the real solution.

So, to return to the "he's not gonna stop" speech: the theme at play here is inevitability, and it's one of the central themes of The Terminator -- not simply because the titular assassin is unstoppable, but because of the love story that drives the plot:

If Skynet hadn't sent the T-800 back in time to kill Sarah Connor before she could give birth to the leader of the human resistance, then Kyle would have had no reason to go back in time and end up unknowingly fathering John. No matter how hard Skynet tried to snuff John Connor out of existence, the rebellious love that created him was just as inevitable as the T-800.

This, I think, is the message at the heart of both Terminator and Stranger Things, and is the reason why The Terminator would be the perfect choice for S5's theme movie:

Sometimes the horrors wrought by humanity are inescapable...

...but so too is the hopeful human drive to love each other and overcome them.

Read Brenner's role in creating Vecna as a metaphor for homophobic Reagan-era fear-mongering and it all clicks into place, I think.

[just-b-wilde]

The Viewer’s Paradox: Two series fandoms

This year, two well-known shows came to an end — The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu) and You (Netflix), which have been with us for a similarly long time, just a year apart. I decided to share a few thoughts and observations about both stories, but also about the fandom reactions and certain “similarities” I couldn’t help but notice.

You might ask — what the hell do these two shows have in common? A story about survival in dystopian Gilead and the tale of a serial killer? Well, there’s something there, I promise!

⚠️ This post contains spoilers for both finales.

Honestly, it was more of a coincidence that I watched both shows around the same time. I’ll even admit that I’ve known You much longer than THT. But I was more of a casual viewer, and after season 2 (which I watched five years ago), I only got around to catching up a few days ago.

The Hate Reactions

Even before I saw either finale, it was impossible to miss the wild fan responses — especially the disturbing hate campaign against Madeline Brewer, who just so happens to appear in both shows (Janine in The Handmaid’s Tale, Bronte in You).

She’s a beloved character in THT, but one of the most hated in You. On social media, the actress was subjected to truly awful bullying — people were saying she "ruined" the show, and many insulted her appearance as well.

I was honestly shocked by how far people will go online (hiding behind their screens, many clearly think they can say anything), and it just felt wrong. Even after watching the finale, I had to go read multiple reviews just to understand what people were so upset about.

Poorly Rated Finales

IMDb ratings for the final episodes:

You: Finale – 5.4 (7.6K ratings) Penultimate – 8.5 (3.6K ratings)

THT: Finale – 5.7 (3K ratings) Penultimate – 9.2 (3.5K ratings)

It really caught my attention that both shows had very highly rated penultimate episodes, but their finales totally flopped. In both cases, fans complained about a drop in narrative quality, unsatisfying resolutions, and weaker writing compared to earlier seasons. And sure — both shows touch heavily on feminism and misogyny. Or maybe people were just… bored?

What I found especially fascinating was this:

In one show, viewers praise something that viewers of the other hate. Namely — the invincible female character trope.

In You, it’s Bronte who brings justice and finally gets the protagonist into the hands of the law after all these years of slipping through the cracks.

But what breaks the logic is that she was severely injured and somehow became nearly unstoppable for the sake of plot. Viewers had a huge problem with that — same as with another character who survived certain death, clearly just for shock value.

It immediately reminded me of the scene with June, who survived being hanged from a height, and in the next scene she’s basically fine — just complaining about a sore throat.

Fan reactions? The opposite. Many people admired June, while many started to hate Bronte.

Who's really the bad guy?

Now to the core of why I’m even writing this: Nick Blaine and Joe Goldberg.

Surprisingly, I found some very interesting parallels between them:

Both experienced childhood trauma and abandonment by their mothers.

Both were willing to kill for love and were portrayed — in some ways — as romantics.

For both characters, there is talk of viewers liking them because of their looks.

But the key difference?

Joe was not a good person. He could “love” someone — and then kill them when they were no longer “the one” or when they “betrayed” him (in his own twisted view). He was a deeply disturbed man who repeated his cycle until it caught up to him.

Nick, on the other hand, was always loyal to his love. Yes, he was capable of violence — but only to protect her or help her. And most of the time, she knew about it. One could even say she counted on that kind of help. Sure, he was part of the “bad side” — but it was about survival.

Joe enjoyed his position. He literally admitted to enjoying the violence he inflicted. Nick carried the weight of his choices. We could see how it affected him.

Yes, their backgrounds and contexts are vastly different — but it’s still astonishing to me how audiences perceive them.

Joe killed over 20 (mostly innocent) people on screen, yet many viewers still feel sympathy for him. I've read several people's reactions that he deserved a happy ending with a woman who would finally accept him. Even after everything.

Nick? He never did anything on screen that made me say “wow, that’s a bad man.” And yet, the clumsy writing of the last few episodes tried to tell us he was bad. Period. Without any real scenes to support it — just a few vague lines of dialogue.

And the story, the promo, and even some of the actors played along with it. Nick ended up as the guy who reaped what he sowed. And many viewers agreed, showing zero empathy for him.

And I keep asking myself: How is this even possible?

Are the audiences of these two shows really that different?

How can one character be written off based on a few inconsistent lines that contradict the rest of the story — while another, a literal serial killer, gets sympathy and understanding?

It honestly blows my mind.

Final thoughts

In the end, the show I didn’t even care that much about (You) turned out to be far more enjoyable to me than the one I had a deep connection with (The Handmaid’s Tale).

Joe is, in my opinion, the true definition of someone who reaped what he sowed. That absolutely does not apply to Nick.

[6feathered6siren6]

Paradox

Author's note: Part 4!! I honestly struggled getting this next part out, but I did it. I have more ideas, drabbles of things I had planned for this one. But hope you enjoy! :)

Trigger warnings - Self-neglect - Torture

P1, P2, P3, P4, P5

『01:00』

Triple digits. You stared at the computer screen. The document of the novel you wrote. You felt so mixed. All you wanted is to write something perfect. Something different, something gorey, and filled with something that other novels would not have. Yet, you were trapped into this time loop, writing the novel differently each time when you did. You wanted to be able to leave it, be with your lovers. 

Looking at the link on your computer. You know you can’t leave the loops until you kill whoever is Victim, but… You can get everyone a better future. You already know almost everything that would happen, hell, you rewrote a loop once without joining. But in the final loop, you want everyone to have a happy ending.

Angel’s manager needs to go, get V to understand he is a softy towards the server, Misaki to take a different job but higher paid(Would giving them a task with a lot of money work?), and Ronin.. He just wanted to play games with you, just do that again? 

Sighing and leaning back into your desk chair. Before an idea pops in your head… What if using the server to find them, like what if they are connected? But you also remember what they say is either very similar or the exact same thing. So it couldn’t be them. 

Victim only got in contact with you in a loop… come on remember… it was in the 70’s, somewhere there… And they have been watching but from where? They only send 3 letters. 

1. Telling you that you have to kill them in order to stop the loops.

2. That killing randomly won’t work. 

3. 

What was number 3…  It felt like a blur, but you paused. 

You need to remember the smaller details, if Victim wants you to kill them, then you really need to become a perfect killer. 

Ping!

Luckily, there is a server that can help you. 

-

Misaki is a professional hitman or assassin, they have killed many before, so surely they can spill some secrets. You had a paper notebook, not trusting putting your notes into your computer. You never know when someone hacks into your computer. Misaki has told you before in another loop, that they had you on call when they were assassinating someone. So they might have some info for you. 

–

Slight bust. But she did bring in good points. You don’t even know what they look like, nor much, all that they want is to die and die by your hands alone. Always gifting you a bat, plain wood, same shape with slight color changes. Red most of the time, while blue in a few. Could it be morse code? 

No, you’re overthinking it.

You click your pen against the notebook. Looking at your very little notes. Would V help? He does detective work… only for killers but would he help?

Shit… would it be a bit late to send a message to him now? This far into the loop? Fuck it, now or the next loop. 

You started typing the message to the server’s vigilante, he has to help just a bit or you will text him the next loop, annoy him to get some lick of info.

-

Surprisingly, he pulled you into a call. A video call, you don’t bother to see your camera, just looking at him. He answered the questions you asked, he was even giving you ideas to look at. Which helped you immensely. When he left the call, you left the server, also making sure the server notification sound was off. You don’t need any distraction. 

-

You were writing in the notebook, writing for questions and ideas. How to get them? Like traps would work. But which ones?

Knock, knock.

Who was there? Getting over to the door, opening to see no one was there. Looking down to see a box wrapped in white and light pink. You slowly look around to see if you can find who did that. But no one. Picking it up and going inside your place, opening it, and it’s self care spa items. It was from Angel. 

‘So a few people on the server are worried about you, and said that your next murder is taking a lot of your time, so take a spa day and relax. (Trust me, I’m taking my advice right now!🤍) Enjoy these items courtesy from Angel and - - - -’

The second name was crossed off, then another note, it had dry blood on it. Most likely from Ronin. 

‘Get your mind in gear, you are freaking out a few people, so rest fucker. - Ronin’

He drew a middle finger for you. How lovely. 

You look at the gift then to your notebook. You had something to do. But… You do know where they live so you can send a gift back, if not this loop maybe another. But for now.. You need a shower. Then back to work. 

–

“Damn, Darlin’. Every time I see you, your eyebags seem to grow, you can probably hold about half my baggage in those.” He smirked as he saw you through the screen. You haven't slept for… 2 weeks? Damn… 

“Oh, hush, I have a reason.” You said, leaning back into your chair. You already thanked both Ronin and Angel for the gift. Angel was glad it was delivered without blood(Ronin was gonna apparently deliver it with blood.)

“Well, staying up for a long time can hurt your pretty little face. And no one wants that, do they?” Ronin did sound worried for you, but… it was… fuck. It was January. Two more months. Then everything would be gone, all the planning, the ideas, the traps, everything…

Darlin’…

Darlin’...

“Darlin’!” Ronin shouted, you looked back at his camera on your screen. He seemed a bit panicked, he was definitely worried now. “There you are, shit. You really are out of your mind, huh? Go rest, you really gonna need it.” 

He ended the call, he was right, but if you can retain any information about Victim, you will. As you stood up, you fell to your knees, barely any strength. You really need to eat something. 

-

You were passed out in the room you were working at. The corkboard holding red rope and notes of things. The room was dark as the moon rose to gaze its light to you. Paper garbage was surrounding you, time was ticking and you only felt further now than before. But to begin with… Who was Victim and how did they do this? And why? Why did you have to be stuck falling in love only to lose them in the end? By your hands or not. They have your answers.

『01:05』

Walking to Ronin’s alleyway, seeing if there was anything in the path that could be significant. In past loops, you scared the people in the server to the point they needed to intervene. Hell, Ronin visited you before the usual point he does. But, you are taking their advice to relax more. Light research. Nothing more. When you got to the middle of both your place and Ronin’s alleyway, a note. With Victim’s handwriting. It had dry blood on the note. 

“Nothing will save you. You deserve the pain you will receive, reawakening that thing, will only make you burn harsher in hell. I will make sure you die each time, with harsher and harsher death, making you suffer with the creation you made and regret who you killed. – “

The name was covered in blood, making it harder to read. Victim is after someone in revenge. Killing them over and over in these loops. But why? 

You know a bit more, Victim and there is someone else in these loops that remembers. But that ponders the question, did these loops start because the Victim wanted someone dead and revenge for someone else? Was it Victim or their… There is no name addressed to this, so what to call them for now… Creator? They created something apparently to the note, so was it Victim or Creator that started these loops? And why did they?

You feel like there are so many questions. But for now, you need rest, before Ronin goes victim hunting. You don’t need to die now, Misaki is requesting to watch an anime that's coming out, even though you memorize it by heart, seeing them smile is important to you right now. At least to pay back a favor from another loop.

『01:09』

You were out with V, patrolling with him with his route. He allowed you to follow him, after asking him politely, of course. You gained his trust, and you were seeing how he did things, you knew some, but not the whole thing. You looked at your hands, you haven’t killed anyone in the past couple loops, which in your opinion, was good. But you still got that bat from Victim. Taunting you? You still don’t know now. 

“Reader. Thank you for keeping me company during my patrols, I didn’t expect you to join me.” He said, the frost chill air surrounded the both of you, basking in that winter about to come to a close. 

You smiled softly, you missed the sweet domestic moments. “No problem! Plus, I do too, and I needed to get some fresh air.” You have been out constantly in the past couple loops, nope, it’s a break loop, no thinking about the loops. Just… enjoy the moment with them. 

V smiled back as he looked away from you to scan around again. Joining in, you also help scan, luckily from the last few loops looking for more notes from either Victim and Creator, you were able to scan for small details. Nothing out of the ordinary so far. The moment might have been quiet but it was a nice silent moment with V. 

He offered you tea afterwards. The tea was bitter but sweet at the same time. 

It was a peaceful moment, but you felt like something was off through the whole time. A pain in your heart. Like you were hurting again. God, you miss the moments, where you smile with the others. Loving them with your heart. Without worry about these loops.

These loops fucked you up, killing so many people, fucking with your memory, you knew so much about Angel, V, Misaki, and Ronin, but you barely felt like you knew yourself, then also messing with your mental health. You could barely look at yourself in the mirror anymore. Your moral compass was so fucked. You want out, but it seems Victim was calling your name, ending these loops. So much time to do so, but so little as well, from October to March. You still have so much to do. So much detective work. Closer to the end of loops, the better. 

『--:--』

Combat shoes could be heard walking through an abandoned building, a bat was in their hand, the wood was being dragged through the concrete floor. Untouched by blood. A chuckle filled the room, it sounded deep, a male. 

“Go fuck yourself.” Another figure was heard. That one was tied up on a chair. No way out. “You can keep killing me over and over, there would be no difference, I will come back the next loop.” 

“Maybe, maybe not. But, at least I get the joy of hurting you over and over, hearing your screams for what you have done.” The male had a grin, one of sadistic tendencies. “So be loud for me, won’t cha?” 

A loud crunch and a scream was heard for a couple blocks. A scream you couldn’t hear as you walked with V, talking about cooking and animals. A domestic moment away from the gruesome scene that was playing a few miles away from you.

[i-got-the-feels]

Art I Made in 2024

January

Most Popular

Kinn, Porsche and parental angst is popular and even my favorite? No one is surprised

Favourite

Other favorites - Pat and Ming | Pran and Dissaya

Again, parental angst, please pretend to be surprised. I remember struggling to find the right coloring to capture the emotions but I'm glad with the final result

February

Most Popular

Was very big brained of me to make killer paradox x Crime and Punishment quote edits and honestly did an amazing job at it - proud of it

Favourite

The show made me cry. I wanted to honor every life yi jae lived and I think I did that

March

Most Popular

Sapphic pining and yearning with galaxy metaphors? You got it, boss

Favourite

This is a 3 parter

My name x The Glory - my favourite badass woman consumed by hurt, anger, guilt and revenge. Know that I was always love you. This edit will always be special to me because it was my first multiple characters across show edit. Glad I participated in the @userdramas event

Queen of tears - using the stripes and gaps in her memory was very big brained of me

Doctor slump - honestly in love with the coloring

April

Most Popular

I love women. I worship well-written woman. I am in awe of woman who can act out these well-written layered characters. Shogun gave me all of this and more

Favourite

The scene in QoT that hurt a lot. When she refused to marry him - though it's clear they both still love each other. She sees herself as a burden because she is sick and doesn't want to be with him but he finally sees the woman he loves now that the loss is imminent - the hurt and resentment didn't matter as long as he had a chance to build and live a life with her. I think the quote perfectly captures it and the coloring captures the melancholy and clarity they both have and it's my second favorite QoT set of mine.

May

Most Popular

Did QoT have it's problems? Yes. But we're those 2-3 months of watching the joy filled with joy and purpose? Also yes. So of course I made a good bye edit when the show ended

Favourite

23.5 was heartwarming and adorable. This edit was my first time doing social media template and honestly did quite a decent job for first time

June

Even when I don't make edit of shows, I make edit of ✨women✨

July

Most Popular

Shin Ha Kyun playing cunty morally grey diva who began to be morally ambiguous after meeting gorgeous young diva who is unhinged is always magical. Thanks to this show for introducing me to Kim Young kwang.

Honestly love the quotes, it's a combination of few quotes and my writing and dare I say I did a badass job

Favourite

Thank you, a bloody lucky day for giving me yoo yeon seok as bloody murderous psychopath, looking forward to more such roles. This edit's idea began because I saw him all bloody, then I saw Jung eun's character die and was like oh this is happening. The quote for her character was hardest to find but I found a good done Finally

August

Most Popular

I've said it earlier, I'll say it again. I watched the show thanks to @guzhufuren and am glad because hua ein and xiao bao have become my favorite grumpy x sunshine couple

Favourite

It is a two parter

The king of pigs

I was NOT prepared for the ending. They only said the bullying was graphic. No one told me I'd cry even after the episode. Jung min shouldn't have been pushed to do what he did. Kyung min shouldn't have had to live with the guilt of witnessing what he did. The anger, the hurt and the sadness at the injustice of what they experience made this edit

Shadow Detective

The first part of the show was GREAT. The second part was mid. You know what was consistent though? Lee sung min's acting and that's what made this edit - the awe and respect I felt for him and how he acted in this scene at the beach.

September

Most Popular

Knowing that she developed feelings for him drove me insane and bought this edit

Favourite

I am a very huge nerd for Episode titles so really love this set and especially gyeongseong creatures being congruent with theme of boundaries - between morality, power and empowerment was chefs kiss.

October

Most Popular

If a show talks about revolution as beautiful as gyeongseong creature does and I don't make an edit, know I'm depressed (like legit, netting the clinical ICD-10 criteria) or dead.

Favourite

This show was beautiful and I'm happy I could pay it a proper tribute. Murder in a small village, where everyone is guilty to some extent, you will always be my favorite

November

Most Popular - Straight

Yoo yeon seok as rich powerful chaebol tsundere is what my dreams are made of. Honestly this edit was born after THE EPISODE 2 SCENE.

Most Popular - Gay

You know the shows trailer was good. When you are sad by it days after watching and it and it reminds you of the music you listened to in your adolescent years, which then you of course continue listening for weeks to come. P'Aof, gemini and fourth, looking forward to my ruining.

Favourite

The Heart Killers Episode 1 and Episode 2 captured really well the desire - be it lust, to belong, yearning and pining

Kant x Bison - the same kant who doesn't bother exchanging names with his hook ups being disappointed bison left!!! the red and oranges-ish hue to show desire and passion and I'm afraid I ate and left no crumbs with quotes

Fadel x Style - fadel's anger and guilt for having a desire and yearning to be loved and to belong but the anger and guilt not being enough to stop making him feel? Delicious. Also once again the coloring and quotes? Perfect. I devoured. The quote took me HOURS to find.

December

Most Popular

Glad I wasn't alone in loosing my mind over style kissing fadel's scar with absolute gentleness and devotion

Favourite

It's a 3 parter

Kant and Style and Guilt - honestly no one likes what Kant is doing, including kant but hating him for it just shows you don't understand him. Honestly, can't remember doing such a word heavy edit but @ropebunnykant liz's trust in me is something I am forever grateful so for thanks a lot love, this - including my writing, happened because of your tags

Fadel x Style x 10 Things I Hate About You - I have never denied being a basic bitch

Kant x Bison x Stories scene - honestly slapped with the coloring and the quote

Thank you @fujunfuren @ryoun @natahjikio @shenzhiheng @spicyvampire for the tag - I love doing at the end of every year. Nice to see the shows I watched, recollect how they made feel and how they played into the editing

I tag @riggerbison @thisautistic @puppy-phum @sparklyeyedhimbo @fadelsburger @bisonsclothespin @pharawee and anyone who wants to do this

[lurkingshan]

Hi, since the first half of the year is almost over, I would like to know what are the best dramas you've watched so far this year? They don't have to be completed to be part of your list, although i would understand if you decided to focus solely on completed dramas since I've noticed that you've been disappointed with a lot of series due to their poor second half or just because of their ending.

Hello, thank you for the ask! I have indeed been a bit perturbed recently about the number of dramas I love that implode in the second half or the final act. It's a serious hazard of live watching!

But! There were some that made it all the way through with their core themes, characters, and relationships intact, and had all around solid productions with few missteps. Those are the ones I would categorize as the "best" I have watched since January. And you probably know if you follow me, but I watch all kinds of dramas so these are truly a potpourri of genres and countries of origin. That list:

COMPLETED

I Became the Main Role in a BL Drama (Japan, Gaga)

Cherry Magic Thailand (Thailand, Viu)

Love for Love’s Sake (S Korea, Viki)

Gyeonseong Creature (S Korea, Netflix)

A Killer Paradox (S Korea, Netflix)

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat (Japan, furritsubs)

Tender Light (China, Youku)

STILL IN PROGRESS (YES I AM TEMPTING FATE)

25 Ji (Japan, Gaga)

Oppan (Japan, isaksbestpillow)

Because this is my list and I do what I want, I am also going to share a few of my fav completed shows from this year that I cannot really call "best" because they have significant flaws either in the production or the writing, but that I love dearly anyway.

Cooking Crush (Thailand, WeTV)

Ossan's Love Returns (Japan, Gaga)

Unknown (Taiwan, Youku or Viki)

Would be curious to hear your favs from the year, as well!

[killacharacterbingo]

Prompt Master List

(Updated as prompts are added)

If any prompts don't make sense check this post: A prompt explained and A prompt explained II

Switching Places

Near-Death Experience

Drowning

Dumb Ways To Die

Blood Loss

Suicide

Your Worst Fear

Sacrifice

Sickness

Lightning

Fire

Hard Choices

Dead On Their Feet

Hero/Villain Swap

Torture

Crossover

Covid

Tomorrow Isn't Promised

Falling

Presumed Dead

Storm-Chasing

Canon Compliant

Never Meet Your Heroes

Stalker

Dictionary Death

Friendly Fire

13th Reasons Why

Musical Death

Survivor's Guilt

Conversation With Death

Collateral Damage

Test Subject

Pulling The Plug

Yandere

Betrayal

One Punch Can Kill

Medical Malpractice

The Blip

Cast It Into The Fire

"I Have The High Ground"

Deactivated

Once Bitten Twice Shy

Bleeding Blue

To Be Or Not To Be

Stabbing

Car Crash

Mugging Gone Wrong

Into The Woods

Death Of The Soul

Dormammu, I’ve Come To Bargain

The Cake Is A Lie

Even Heroes Die

With Great Power 

Sacrificed To The Gods

“Sometimes Death Is Better”

"I Finally Have Something To Leave Behind"

Natural Disaster

Mistaken Identity

Bucketlist 

Ten Years Later

Not So Secret Monologues

180 - The Character Doesn't Die

Final Destination

Raped To Death

Chronic Illness

Outed As A Spy

Bulletproof Vest

Sung To Sleep Forever 

A Soft Epilogue 

Wait For Me In Valhalla 

“I Was Saving My ten” - pain scale

“There’s A Boat Jack” 

Married Life Montage 

“You Have Your Mother’s Eyes” 

Russian Roulette

Defenestration

Karma’s A Bitch

Toxic Gas

Murder-Suicide

Famous last words

"Hey, i think we're going to be okay after all!"

"I'll always come back!"

In another's arms

Accident

Revenge

"You can rest now..."

A long time ago

Falls through the Ice

Asthma attack

Shock

Hypothermia

Pushed to the Limit

Commotio Cordis

Death row

Breaking the 4th wall

Wikihow to Die

Time loop

“If I can’t have you…”

Cardiovascular collapse

Allergic reaction

Erased from existence

Dead all along

Dying alone

Gunshot

Blood from the mouth

Patient zero

Old age

Overdose

Fatal Weakness

Assassinated

Infection

Suffocation

One moment stretched into a thousand

Origin story gone wrong

Area 51 raid

Trapped in a tiny space

Poison

Hanahaki / Hanakanjo / Hanauso

Tenshibyou

Kousekibyou

Shinshoubyou

Bouaishoukougun

Hoshinamidabyou

Death by ordinary illness

Hit and run

Starvation

Stroke

War

Cancer

Mercy Killing

Plane crash

Brain death

Fireworks

Death by seduction

Death bed confession

Organ Transplant

Their Legacy Is continued

Bound By Fate

Running out of time

Can’t breathe

Apocalypse

Shot down

Sepsis

Saving Throws – DnD

CPR

Self-harm

Smoke inhalation

Death by coconut

“Help me!”

Climbing accident

Blood-stained tiles

“You weren’t meant to be there”

“I love you”

“No… not like this”

Dug their own grave

Undead

Bees

The AO3 Curse

Deathly kiss

Going through hell

Meeting at the gates

Return from Hiatus

"watch out for the flying blades!"

5+1

Roofie

Left for dead

Strapped to a bomb

Hunger games

Zombification

Order 66

Aneurism

Executed

Lobotomy

Murder on the dance floor

Come to terms with death

“It’s okay”

Keeps dying

Letting go

Coma

Appendicitis

Neuromuscular blockade

Unfriendly pet

Explosion

Aftershock

Takotsubo cardiomyopathy

Faking their own death

Post traumatic amnesia

Schrödinger's paradox

Arbitrary hilarious death

Lack of Oxygen

High altitude

Diving deep

180 - the character becomes the killer

Angel of death

"You're going down with me!”

Never got to say goodbye

Graphic gore

Haunted

Calamity

The end of the world

Immortalized

Uploaded to the server

Reincarnated

Deleted

Sheep in wolves' clothing

Electrocuted

Adrenaline crash

911

Alternate universe ending

Radioactive

Acting on instinct

Collapses

“I miss you…”

Those left behind

Wind phone

Life support

Time Paradox

Temporary character death

Death during childbirth

PTSD

Cannibalism

Nightmares

Life flashing before your eyes

… Needs a hug

Headcanon

Returning home

Internal bleeding

Death of the universe

Empath

Relapse

Last person alive

“Sorry I have already tried and failed at it.”

“I told you so”

Should have seen it coming

Bad Aim

Forgotten

“Kill me instead…”

Warning shot

Canon died a brutal yet Necessary death

On the run

Miscarriage

Not guilty

Knocked over by the wind

Killed by a garden gnome

“Did you fall? Or did you let go…?”

Crushed

Bleeding from the ears

Hallucinogen

Buried alive

Blue screen of death

Killed by loved one

Big Bang

Intestinal obstruction

Silence is Going Extinct

Experimental treatment

Horseback riding

Seizure

Radiation

Tetanus

Short Bowl syndrome

Body snatchers

Conscious decomposition

One Chip Challenge

withered away

Detective AU

cat and mouse

Siren calls

SWAT

Chili

Invincible

Cloned

Don’t realize they’re dead

Moments taken for granted

Schadenfreude

Creepypasta

Expired medication

Deal with the Devil

Picking from a different challenge/Event

Heat stroke

Clone farm

Blood clot

ischaemic bowel disease

organ harvesting

extinct

Hernia

necrotizing enterocolitis

Death by unexpected illness

Stillbirth

School shooting

Postpartum infection

Insulin shock

Anatomic hemispherectomy

Emergency Surgery

Euthanasia/assisted suicide

Do not resuscitate

Social media challenge

Cotard's syndrome

Total Laryngectomy

Hospice care

Coin locker baby

Safe Haven baby box

A leap of faith

Drawn out death

Filicide

Reborn

narcolepsy with cataplexy

Devils breath

The fault in our stars

Five feet apart

What if the bad guy, wasn’t the bad guy?

What if the Hero wasn’t really good?

Miraculous recovery

Hallucinations

Plague inc evolved

“You Shall Not Pass!”

stuck in a chimney

fallen in wet cement

Monsters

the death of a streak

Carbon Monoxide poisoning

Transfusion Reaction

Meningitis

Forest fire

Sims death

Impaled

Epilepsy

Heart attack

Death by ball pit

Brain mass on the celling

Bursting

Ransom

Brain worms

Covered in someone else’s blood

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder

Mirror verse

We are all replaceable

What if this was your last fanfic?

Fleeting Immortality

Stunt Double

Uno Reverse

Death confession

Dying on your own terms

Murder confession

“Can you forgive me?”

"I'll be right here when you return”

Nangijala

Tunnel Vision

Paying your respects

Vikings

Choking

Coughing Up Blood

Cobra bite

STD/STI

Dentist

One day too late

Waiting for death

Dehydration

Tree well

Stolen Life Force

Hero revived to become a villain

Lost found family

Everything ends

Death by spice

10% left

“Get it out of me!”

Mixed signals

curiosity killed the cat

“You can’t die… not like this”

Frankenstein’s monster

Stabbed in the back

“Pick one”

Deathbed

"This phone call, uhm... it's my note"

No second chance

"Should have gone for the head"

The monsters you made

Countdown

Nobody gets left behind

Last meal

Gone missing

The bleeding effect

Missing in action

Cow plant

carnivorous plant

cordyceps

alien hand syndrome

True love’s kiss

Child’s play

Nusery rhyme

One in a million

Headshot

Death sentence

Compression sickness

Not the dog

Personality rewritten

Panic attack

Tomb

Caving

[hidelias]

A bend in space-time Season 1 - [Chapter 16: Through the looking glass]

Chronological markers: this scene fits like a deleted scene from season 1 episode 5, around 55:00 (at the same time as the episode's final scene between Viktor and Leonard). TW : Drug abuse - Addiction - Mutilation

Suggested soundtrack : R.E.M. - Loosing my religion ; Piss Ants - Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

---

March 28, 2019 - 07:55 pm

I drop my keys into the hallway bowl, where they clatter with my grandmother's. There's a stack of leaflets, a medical bill that wasn't there the day before yesterday, and a note from the condominium about the renovation of the staircase. From the living room, the dialogue from the Vietnamese drama Granny is watching in her armchair plays muffledly. I glance at Klaus, who's just behind me, closing the door behind him. I hope I haven't made a mistake by bringing him here.

This evening, I returned to Hargreeves Mansion just by the time Luther parked Reginald's old Hermes car, with Diego and Klaus on board. I knew right away that they'd had a rough ride when I saw Diego's arm, but the three of them also looked like they'd had a hell of a good time since they were still pretty high on adrenaline. I heard they'd conned the Commission's henchmen. I learned that Five had gone for the precious appointment he'd been hoping for. I felt a hopeful glow. But above all, as strange as this 'family trip' was, I'm glad Klaus had the opportunity to clear is mind a little.

He looks reasonably functional, even if it all comes back to him in cycles when he's left alone to think or when his blood alcohol level drops dangerously low. This sentence may seem contradictory, but that's exactly it. He's been on vodka all day, among other things, and it shows. As night approaches, everything always seems worse, though, so I thought it would be a good idea to get him out of his room again. Besides, there's something here I need to pick up.

I glance at him as he takes off his shoes. He's used to this, although we've always managed to get him to come at times when Granny wasn't around. My grandmother is - how can I put this elegantly - one of those old ladies who has lived a long time and no longer has much reason to hold back her outspokenness. She has 'very sure judgement', as they say. And the only time she actually met Klaus in ten years, she kicked him out just for the look and smell of him. He was more or less homeless at the time, whatever. Still, she could have treated him with a little more respect.

"Are you going to be okay with the TV and food?".

I choose to ask it straight away: it's still time to turn back on the staircase. I don't know if hearing Vietnamese is really what Klaus needs, or bathing in the smells of Granny's cooking, which is pretty much 'fusion food', but still dominated by lemongrass and coriander. But he nods with a broad hand gesture. Maybe he even finds it paradoxically soothing.

"This is the first time I feel like eating", he says with a sort of confused sigh. "And it's been 51 years since I last had a bite". "We'll see what we can do".

The entrance to the apartment leads into the living room, where Granny has just turned her head upon hearing our voices, the kitchen, and finally the hallway leading to the two bedrooms and bathroom. Nothing like the lavish eccentricity of Hargreeves Mansion, no question about it, but a small, modest and, on the whole, warm comfort. Back then, my mother lived here with us. It was small, but many people live on much less. Both the hallway and the living room are mostly loaded with boxes, rolls of fabric and sewing equipment: Granny worked as a tailor all her life, and never really cleared out her workshop when arthritis prevented her hands from working.

"Bạch Liên?", the old lady interjects from the living room without even bothering to turn her eyes away from the TV. "You're not sleeping at that horrible mansion tonight?" "Good evening Granny…" We could have just started with that. "We'll go back there later. Or tomorrow morning. We won't be bothering you".

Hearing the use of the word "we", she turns her eyes and looks up and down at Klaus. Especially down: obviously removing shoes is a big deal, on her floors.

"Oh. Which one of the Hargreeves kids is that?"

Her surprise is obvious. Probably because I never invite anyone over when she's around.

"That's Klaus." "Klaus, what number is that?"

An awkward silence falls over between the living room and the hallway, as I myself get rid of my coat and shoes. Fortunately, Klaus himself decides to answer with an unsuspected politeness, especially considering his blood alcohol level:

"Number four. Good evening Mrs Hoang. Nice dressing gown".

Granny says nothing for several seconds, as if trying to unravel something in her head. Then, turning her eyes back to her TV, she states as if her words went back a long way:

"Number four. 6 feets at 18. Last winter uniform delivered October 2007".

I look at Klaus as he stares at me: I was completely unaware of this.

" Were you the one sewing the uniforms, Granny?"

She doesn't answer, but she knows we've both understood. A short while ago, I'd probably have been stunned by the news, but ever since my conversation with Pogo, I've realized that Reginald Hargreeves' interference in my family's life has clarified many matters. In a way, he gave her a job. And no doubt it helped her career take off, as Granny made the costumes for most of The City's elite. Looking back, I do wonder if the blue suit with white stripes that Klaus stole from his father the other day was her work. Her drama ends, directly followed by the vintage credits of another episode. She glances at Klaus again.

"You're the haunted junkie. I'm sorry for your father's loss. My irritation flares up again, when it had almost subsided. "The first time you forgot weed in the pocket of a jacket to darn, you were less than fourteen years old".

I get that Granny always knew a lot about her customers, by sewing their clothes. I think she knew which uniforms she had ceased to tailor. Five's, then Ben's. I hadn't realized how much these clothing deliveries could say. But right now, I feel we must cut this conversation short.

"We're going to the kitchen for a snack".

Granny waves her hand, as if to prompt us to make off, and I confess I'm not asking for anything else. Within five seconds, we're in the kitchen, where the wooden beaded curtain rustles behind us.

"Wow", Klaus huffs as I turn on the neon without using the switch, which he notices wordlessly. "She certainly hasn't changed. Jeez, 'haunted junkie'. Well, at least it's synthetic".

I sigh as I grab some bread and open the old celadon-green fridge.

"She's straightforward. See the silver lining: she knows you're my favorite haunted junkie".

Klaus gives a faint smile as I bring out giò lụa, tangerines and Hà Nôi beers. It's by far the most practical way of not having dishes to clean.

"Oh", he says, amused. "And who's your least favorite?" I smirk at him. "I don't know. Beetlejuice."

We both chuckle. Our first laugh in what seems like an eternity. Gosh. It comforts me so much to see that he can still joke, even if he does so with a distant, pained expression, while contemplating the label on his beer.

"Hold back on any comments," he bellows. "Huh?" "Not you, Ben". "Oh, okay".

I'm used to that. I smile, wondering if Ben must have been on the trip too. In situations like this, it saddens me the most not to be able to talk to him directly. A knife and a cutting board: I slice the Vietnamese pork sausage into quarter-slices, without trying to make it look pretty. I turn on the coffee machine, without even touching it, and Klaus finally cracks open his beer.

"That's new, isn't it?" he tells me. "You can turn electrical stuff on like a steampunk wizard." I only nod. "It just popped up today".

I'm aware that I too have been pretty badly affected by this day, and it's not surprising that this new ability was triggered by it. As for intangibility and jumping through space, it had already come at dreadful times. Even high, Klaus isn't stupid: as Five would say, he knows exactly what the causal chain is. An important milestone in my lifeline now depends on a bullet, fired half a century ago on another continent.

"What else did you switch on?" Klaus picks at the giò lụa while I shake my head. "Lamps, traffic lights, machines. I also got the bus engine started. I think".

He raises an eyebrow. This reminds me of what I need to pick up here, and I let him eat while I go rummage through the shelves next to the fridge.

"Rin…" he says as he chews, and I glance over my shoulder while rummaging through Granny's food supplements.

His attention is focused towards the sink near which Ben must be standing, as if he's afraid he might try to stop him talking. And then, out of the blue, I hear him say under the dim neon:

"Would you be okay with tying me up?"

The big box of magnesium slips out of my fingers, along with a tube of vitamin C. Gosh, I thought he was completely down.

"I've told you no a hundred times, Klaus". "Wait, wait, wait. Damn it, I knew I shouldn't start this way".

I glance over, and the look on his face tells me it's nothing like I'd imagined. No, he's not doing much better. And I stop searching, now as worried as intrigued.

"Seeing you do all that stuff makes me think," he tells me. "And there's something Diego told me this morning that I keep twisting around in my head, like a fidget spinner on ecsta".

His hands gesture what's going on inside his brain, and it's pretty freaky. He's serious, deadly serious. I cross my arms attentively, while he's opening a new beer. Clearly, 5.1° doesn't seem to be enough.

"What did he tell you?" "That I was lucky…". He pauses and I tilt my head, because - in all objectivity - I don't quite see in what way. "…Because I could - you know - see again the people I've lost".

He glances in Ben's direction, and something strange strikes me: today, it's as if I can almost feel where he is. I know how different it is, when it comes to Ben. He's the only ghost who shows up even when Klaus is dead drunk or as high as a kite. We never really got deep into the details of how his power works. Because the question had never really been relevant. But I feel right away that - tonight - we're going to.

"You could," I say as he drinks as if it's the last beer he'll ever have. "Have you ever done it… intentionally?"

I recall what Five told me. That after all, our powers didn't matter as much as the control we had over them. Klaus glances again at the label on his Hà Nôi bottle.

"I can summon the imprints of the dead we carry with us: you, me, anyone. The dead who have… something unfinished, or a grudge. The ones who crave being invoked".

He sighs, and I help myself to coffee.

"Even without doing anything, some come on their own. The ones who are stuck here and didn't get their ticket to the afterlife. And those bastards… are ~ pretty convincing~ in trying to be heard. But you know that".

That's an understatement, and the look on my face says it all. I squint, choosing to ask my question cautiously.

"Have you ever chatted with them, like with Ben?" Klaus nods, twisting his slice of bread in his fingers. "It used to be helpful for - well - getting information. Being a lookout. Facilitating blackmail, too. Boy, I liked blackmail. But your grandmother got it right, from thirteen onwards, I just did it less and less, until I stopped completely".

When I met him, it had been over for a while. He takes a deep breath, as if explaining all this required an infinite effort. I'm not sure he's ever talked about it.

"I can fight decently, I guess. But otherwise… I was useless. As useful as…" "'As motel shower caps', I know".

Klaus sighs.

"When Five's two buddies took me hostage, I led a small discussion group with their former victims." "No kidding?" "I swear. There was one who'd been hanged with her intestine." "No, I mean, seriously, did you manage to do that?"

He nods vigorously, somewhat hopefully, and seems to be catching up with what he initially intended to say.

"That's what I was trying to address earlier. I was tied up. They'd taken everything from me. I had no choice but to crash. It took over ten hours to comedown, but it happened… Ben can tell you. Right, Ben?

I want to believe Ben even if I can't see him. Klaus puts his beer down and discards the remainder of the pack, as if he's already made up his mind to stop drinking now.

"If you tie me up tonight, or tomorrow, I've got a chance of succeeding". "Klaus, quitting cold turkey is the worst idea ever, and you know it."

A method against which rehab has repeatedly warned him, and which could cause him extremely severe, if not downright lethal, withdrawal symptoms. I shake my head again to tell him no. My teeth are clenched above my crossed arms, because I know he's going to insist, maybe even using the evil 'baby seal eyes' skill he's had thirty years to hone.

"Please… I can't do it alone, you know that. If I have the slightest choice, I won't make it.

I've already done a lot this week. I'm emotionally shattered too, and this is just too much. I can deal with the visits to rehab, the night terrors, the trips to the police station, the evenings watching him ingest whatever is most likely to end up killing him, but not with this.

"I can do many things for you, Klaus, but just imagine…" "I doesn't have to be here, uh? I was thinking of the attic at home". "Wherever! Do you think I could just tie yourself up, and then go off to work like nothing happened? Knowing the withdrawal syndrome you'll go through, and how shitty it'll be?

I know how it's going to be. The anxiety, the stomach churning, the sweating. He's going to give up, he's going to call, he's going to beg to be untied and get his fix, he'll possibly get angry, at himself and at anyone passing by. And he's asking me to be responsible for this? I'm trembling a little. I'd like him to understand, but he puts his empty bottle down on the table.

"Is it because I'm wanting to see Dave?" "You're such a jerk. I don't have a problem with that.

We'd had plenty of stories that ended badly, but this time everything is just… ten times more intense and sad. Because he'd found a deep love, like never before. And also because I hadn't had the blood of his exes on my fingers, the other times. He rubs his eyes with both hands.

"Rin, if it really is the end of the world, there are two things I absolutely must do. Summon Dave to see it again - just once - and remember - re-watch Attack of the Killer Tomatoes with you".

Well, he hasn't forgotten. I know he's sincere, that this isn't a cunning trick to get what he wants, not only, anyway. But I'd like him to contemplate the contradictory feelings I'm having. Deep down, it's all I want: that he gets clean, that he can get to see Dave. But it's beyond my capacity to do what he's asking. Literally.

"Klaus, the truth is, I possibly don't even have the physical strength to do it properly".

He's not especially huge, and I already look tiny next to him. He can't deny that's true, and he sighs, aware that I'm holding my loophole.

"You're right. Forget it. I'll do this on my own".

Ben says something to him, but I can see he's ignoring it on purpose, even though his shoulders drop a little. Slowly, I go back to searching through Granny's medication. Klaus thought of me first. But the truth is…

"Why don't you ask your brothers?" I say. "Diego. He'd do it perfectly even with one arm missing, I'm sure he ties people up even on Sundays, just like I sell faucet handles".

"I might." I push a whole row of expired nasal sprays off the shelf, while he repeats: "I really might. Besides, we've already had a talk".

His silence tells me that the idea is sinking in, and I eventually find what I'm looking for, well hidden behind antihistamines boxes. The kitchen windows and walls vibrate a little. How odd. I hadn't noticed the wind had risen so much. But finally, Klaus seems to realize that I haven't even eaten yet.

"What are you looking for?"

Nervously, I scratch my cheek, and I send on the table the box of Valium I've just exhumed.

"I talked to Five, you know. About that name… 'Omega'".

I know that for Klaus, the discussion with Pogo is lost in a distant past. Yet he doesn't seem to have forgotten: the way his eyebrows pinch together tells no lies. I shake my head. He knows that I link the symbolism of this name to the end of time, as anyone would.

"I've been thinking about it all over again, and even if Five isn't really worried… I don't want to take any risks, until the end of the world is over".

This sentence is absurd, but it's the only way I can say it, as I watch Klaus literally crumbling in front of me.

"Is this a joke, Rin?" "No. Imagine it's my fault. I can't think of hurting anyone. I'm already getting spiders out of the bathtub, instead of killing them." "Rin, I just came to tell you that I want to get sober, and you announce that you're going to sedate yourself?"

I'm struck by the irony of the situation too. But that's factually what's happening. He wants his power back? I want to stifle mine. For a moment, we both freeze, looking at each other as if the world were absurdly imploding. As if we'd each just walked through the looking glass, and turned around.

"Don't do that, that would be a huge fuck-up." "It's just three days on Valium, Klaus." "It was just a bag of weed too, then you saw. You don't want that." "Are you the one fucking telling me this? It's surreal, it's like one of your Dali posters". "Exactly, 'I'm the one telling you that'. And if Five is not worried, then there's really no reason to be". I sigh. "'Five' only calculates probabilities". "It's already more solid than your bad feeling, just based on a damn first name given by an old psychopath".

He's right, and I say nothing.

"Just suppose we need you, and you can't do anything?" "Klaus, you can't even drive".

We both feel it's going to get out of hand, so we keep quiet. Until he says:

"Don't take anything tonight, really. Think it over until tomorrow. Now we'll watch the movie with Ben".

I nod slowly, while I give up coffee, just as he gave up beer.

" Nothing makes much sense anymore," he breathes a little painfully. "But do you want one more reason not to take anything tonight?"

I shrug, waiting for the joke I'm anticipating, which is already making me feel good even though he hasn't even uttered it yet.

"We don't even need a remote control anymore".

---

Notes:

A criss-cross scene, actually funnier than one might have imagined. Diego has no idea that this he's going to have to deal with the situation tomorrow. And Granny deserved to get her due, don't you think?

Of course, it's not the wind that makes the apartment quiver, but Viktor's power that spreads across The City.

Any comment will make my day! ♡

---

A bend in space-time, the masterlist :

- Season 1 (complete): Table of contents - Season 2 (complete): Table of contents - Season 3 (complete): Table of contents - Season 4 (in progress) : Table of contents

[mondstalgia]

🌠 people i want to get to know better: the game

tagged by @bunnakit ♡ tagging @nibupei @morathicain @jourquet @berniedette @palebrowneyes @bunni-bun @affiesque @otpshipper93 @primacatcher and literally anyone coming across this!

🌙 last song: 19 by Xana, been obsessed with her ever since I found her like last week

"God damn She's got herself a girlfriend now Well I guess she finally came out Wish I coulda waited around Maybe it coulda been me"

- like fuck how could I not love it

🌙 favorite color: medium to dark green, the leafy grassy rich kind yess

🌙 currently watching: surprisingly little compared to the last months. I finished a few things that are bingable in a day or two like A Killer Paradox, The Fall of The House of Usher and A Shop for Killers. And things that are airing that I am watching are Dead Friend Forever and Playboyy. A few more things are on my watchlist I just have to get to them.

🌙 last movie: I watched Dogman (2023) a few days ago and it was perfection. Queer, traumatic, ruthless, revenge, action- perfection, really. All that I need in a good movie!

🌙 sweet, spicy or savory: I love savoury food over anything, I could spicy food to that since I used to love it especially spicy rice snacks but due to health issues I can't have spicy food anymore. Sweet is lovely but not my preference if I have the choice.

🌙 last thing you googled: BL Love Is Better The Second Time Around manga - Hasegawa Makoto from The Rampage my sweet baby is gonna be one of the leads in a BL! Please give it a watch in March!

🌙 relationship status: single, we don't talk about it because I will spiral

🌙 current obsession: Kiseki: Dear to me still...Jiang Dian STILL and of course fitting to that NatLouis. Also Pajeon, nothing better than savoury pancake, also THE best texture.

🌙 selfie/another picture you took: I uh haven't taken a selfie since 2021 and I don't really take photos but uhm..have the last picture I took anyway which is a bad picture of my fake tree from ikea because a colleague wanted to see it 😂

[morathicain]

🌠 people i want to get to know better: the game

Thank you @bunnakit and @mondstalgia for the tag ;)

🌙 last song: Have been listening to nothing but Tragedy of us and Broken Fantasy by Miyavi since this morning. They have me by my throat and I already wonder which OTP needs to suffer because of it :P

🌙 favorite color: I prefer a dark green and a dark red.

🌙 currently watching: In the middle of A Killer Paradox, Cherry Magic Thailand, Ossan's Love, a High&Low rewatch and "I wish I'd told you a million times" (and there's a thousand shows and movies on my list still.)

🌙 last movie: Started "Death on the Nile" because I visited my parents and this was what they chose.

🌙 sweet, spicy or savory: Each to their own opportunity :P

🌙 last thing you googled: the English title to "Death on the Nile" since you can never know what weird ideas they have when they translate the movie titles

🌙 relationship status: Single and occasionally dating but mostly being content on my own.

🌙 current obsession: Miyavi's new songs for sure! And the mdzs books because I am finally reading them. Also Chen Yi/Ai Di of course, still! Finally managed to write some more for them last night *_*

🌙 selfie/another picture you took: Was on a short trip last weekend and actually took a selfie in front of the mountains!

Now tagging @ahhhnorealnamesallowed @i-got-the-feels @functionalasfuck @himmelsstern and whoever wants to (no pressure) ^^

[silly-slimer]

Guess who's watching yet another Kdrama that I won't be able to shut up about (instead of writing or doing anything productive)

Spoilers for A Killer Paradox Below:

So... he kills a guy in self defense, and a half-blind woman sees him, right? She has the hammer he used and everything.

He takes the hammer and still offers up 2 million won...

But he takes the hammer. HE TAKES THE HAMMER. She has, quite literally, NOTHING on him. He has a kind-of-alibi for that night, and the case isn't even "open" anymore, they think the two guys killed each other...

SO WHY IS HE STILL THERE?? IT WOULD BE HER WORD AGAINST HIS?!

LEAVE DUDE YOU KILLED A WELL KNOWN SERIAL KILLER/RAPIST YOU DID A GOOD DEED BRO. L.E.A.V.E. AND DON'T TURN BACK

anyways rant over....

EDIT: Ok so that is also an option king. I mean, didn't think you had it in you but YES KILL THAT HO <33

(It is the second episode and he now has killed 2 people, is a thief, and has cheated on his girlfriend.... we love a problematic kinda-fucked-morals MC)

EDIT #2: THIS WAS THE ISSUE IN THE FIRST MURDER BRO. CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT IF UR GONNA KILL SOMEONE?! DON'T LEAVE BLOODY FINGERPRINTS AND A BODY LAYING ON THE BALCONY?? YOU DUMBASS?? If ur gonna be a murderer at least be a GOOD one smh

EDIT #3: I promise I will stop editing this (as if) but omg the DOG?! How can the dog clean a crime scene better that HE CAN?! Peak dog.

Okay FINAL EDIT: No more posts or edits until I get to episode 5 where my husband shows up. The gum chewing in the god forsaken show is kicking my ass. Like, chewing gum is FINE. But why are YOU CONSTANTLY CHEWING WITH UR MOUTH OPEN??? It is TERRIBLE! I almost can't watch the detective scenes bc of it it is so gross sounding lmao

[damienkarras73]

A Bloody Walk in the Woods: The Contemplative Carnage of In a Violent Nature

Last Sunday I put in roughly 22 kilometres hiking up and down Trail 1 in Gatineau Park: Champlain Lookout to McKinstry Shelter and back again, a Daniel’s tale. It isn’t a capital-H Hard trail, its difficulty owing more to length than terrain, but there are enough elevation changes that taking this route really does mean walking uphill both ways. And yet not only did I tackle each slope without hesitation, but after a while I was able to push the physical challenge of it out of mind and turn it into a pseudo-intellectual game, a kind of mental-topographical solitaire: I have to make it to the top of that hill, and I will, so it isn’t so much like physical exercise as it is a mental workout. One foot after another, over and over; it’s tedious, but it works.

Music helps to obscure the passage of time in these cases, but I actually rely on it less and less these days. It doesn’t hurt that after only a couple years of use, my JLab earbuds have been left with impotent battery life—you get what you pay for, and I paid $50—so I spent this entire walk sans any soundtrack besides the natural ambience of the woods and my own inner monologue, and even then the latter faded after hiking for long enough. Forests are paradoxically loud. If you spend most of your time in the city like I do, there’s a moment after you get off at your stop in the park and the shuttle bus rolls into the distance when you’re struck by how quiet it is, but it’s merely the technological ambience that’s disappeared, only to be replaced by something that is simultaneously subtler yet overpowering in its own right: the sonic din of nature. Peeping, twittering, screeching, buzzing, whistling, whirring nature. It’s in the undergrowth, in the tree canopy, rustling through the leaves, a mass of uncoordinated organic noise reaching critical mass in a 360° wall of sound that would have made Phil Spector weep.

In a Violent Nature , the debut feature of Sault Ste. Marie native Chris Nash, possesses a quality few other splatter-filled horror movies can lay claim to: it feels like one of those nice long hikes, ambience and all. On paper, it is your typical slasher flick: a large, unstoppable, ambiguously human/living killer with a fondness for sharp weaponry stalks and kills a gaggle of rowdy, pot-smokin’, sex-havin’ youths, picking them off one at a time in increasingly creative ways. We’ve got our mute, mask-clad killer, the resident stoner, the designated asshole alpha male, the one smart final girl who survives—all of these elements point toward what is essentially a Friday the 13th movie with the serial numbers filed off (a point that I shall come back to later). But despite those criteria it couldn’t possibly feel any more different from your average Jason Voorhees outing.

To start, where the typical slasher sprinkles in several voyeuristic point-of-view shots through the eyes of its killer while otherwise focusing on the cast of doomed twentysomethings, In a Violent Nature has us follow deadly protagonist Johnny from the opening scene almost to its very last. Rather than the classic PoV, we’re treated to many lengthy, behind-the-back tracking shots as Johnny makes his way through the woods at a leisurely yet persistent pace. That pacing is key to the second way In a Violent Nature stands out: for a slasher flick, it’s fairly slow. Not the glacial pace of an Andrei Tarkovsky movie, of course, but slow enough that you may start feeling a little antsy several minutes in as we’re still watching a recently revived Johnny tromp through the underbrush. But these long takes aren’t just there for their own sake; Nash really wants us to experience what life is like for Johnny—and by extension, countless other slashers, such as Michael Myers, Leatherface and, naturally, Jason Voorhees—on a moment-to-moment basis. The end result is… surprisingly quite serene. We come to appreciate the logistics of Johnny’s bloody journey, both the physical work that goes into his more novel kills as well as the sheer legwork it takes for him to get anywhere (to date, Michael Myers remains one of the few slashers who knows how to drive). As someone who now spends a fairly decent amount of time hiking through the woods and occasionally making my way down trails that may technically no longer be open to public traversal, it’s in these sequences that I empathize with Johnny—less his murderous impulses, more that feeling of being subsumed by nature, an element within it rather than apart from it, having to move at its pace. Coupled with the overwhelming forest ambience I previously discussed and a notable lack of non-diegetic music, this makes for a very immersive experience not really seen in a slasher since the original versions of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Black Christmas.

While we’re comparing this movie to other established slasher films, I’m going to say something that would likely get me eviscerated in most critical circles if I belonged to any: there are some days where I wonder if In a Violent Nature would be even better as an official Friday the 13th movie—i.e. a Jason Voorhees flick, hockey mask, machete and Crystal Lake, the whole shindig. It could even be a numbered sequel, though where would they even pick up from? Jason X? Freddy vs. Jason? The (actually quite good) Marcus Nispel remake? An out-of-left field meditative and thoughtfully constructed entry in the series that, some changed names, appearances and bits of exposition aside, would be in execution pretty much the same as In a Violent Nature. It’d undoubtedly polarize the fanbase and make it as antagonistic and insufferable as the Star Wars fandom is now, and there’s part of me that will always wince at the thought of an original movie being stripped of its uniqueness and made part of an existing franchise, but I think fandoms need/deserve shakeups to snap them out of wanting safe and formulaic installments—at the very least just to get them thinking about what they’re watching. Plus it would help Jason feel a little less like a hockey mask attached to increasingly necrotic flesh and more of a character. But as it stands, I’m very happy with In a Violent Nature as it exists: individual, iconoclastic and very Canadian—it takes place in North Ontar-eye-oh, after all. It also doesn’t hurt that Jason and Friday the 13th as a whole are knockoffs of Michael Myers in Halloween, so Johnny’s obvious similarities are mitigated, perhaps even justified.

With a warning for some light spoilers, another reason it’s for the best that In a Violent Nature remains its own thing is because its final act goes in a direction few slasher fans would stand for, as evidenced by some of the reactions to it I’ve read. The last 15 or so minutes are decidedly and deliberately anticlimactic. There’s no thrilling showdown between Johnny the killer and Kris the sweet and kind final girl; she smartly realizes this lumbering homicidal maniac will simply annihilate her, as she watches him do exactly that to a friend of hers, so she sees an opportunity and simply books it into the forest. It’s here that the film switches perspectives from Johnny to Kris, and boy howdy do you ever feel it: the long tracking takes are replaced by chaotic and quickly cut shaky cam footage following the desperate final girl as she stumbles through the woods, and you’re overwhelmed by how disempowering it feels compared to the earlier acts of the film where we as the audience feel as impervious as Johnny. After a night of frantic running the panicked woman is picked up by a good Samaritan (a cameo by Friday the 13th Part II supporting actress Lauren-Marie Taylor, fittingly enough), who reminisces about the uncompromising bloodshed nature is capable of while Kris can only numbly stare into the woods, silent in her knowledge that she will be wary of what lurks behind every tree line for as long as she lives. I can think of exactly one other movie ending that’s slow, ponderous and intentionally deprives us of satisfaction in the same way: Joel and Ethan Coen’s No Country for Old Men—a comparison that is quite apt when you consider both star unflappable, borderline invincible killers who are less people and more forces of nature.

In a Violent Nature probably isn’t going to be everybody’s cup of tea: too slow and pensive for most casual slasher fans, too gory and in some ways silly for anyone looking for a serious horror film, but it’s strange beast of a movie that appeals to both my love of horror and my appreciation for solitude in nature. While it doesn’t reinvent the spiky, blood-stained wheel of the slasher genre on paper, its use of perspective creates something truly unique that has captivated me since I first watched it last year. When you stumble across a horror film that you can just immerse yourself in and vibe to, it’s a gift.

[lurkingshan]

Hi, thanks for answering my question about your favorite shows of the year (so far). Since I've been following your blog for some time now, I can't say I was totally surprised by your answer. Although, seeing the killer paradox on your list did shock me. I had no idea you've watched that show. Anyways, i'm really happy you asked me about my own list. I've had an idea for quite some time about which ones would actually be part of it, even though i'm not done watching most of them. I guess I've been feeling optimistic about all of them (ironic, isn't it?). Sorry for the big rambling. Without further do, here is my list of favorite shows of the year so far (in no particular order): Lost ( kdrama, 2021, 16 episodes, not completed), Unknown( Taiwanese drama,2024, 12 episodes, completed), Shooting stars ( cdrama, 2024, 34 episodes, not completed), Tender light ( cdrama, 2024, 28 episodes, not completed), imperfect us (Taiwanese drama,2024, 8 episodes, completed), living with him (jdrama, 2024, 8 episodes, completed), dead boys detective (british tv show?, 2024,8 episodes, not completed), begins youth (kdrama,2024,12 episodes, not completed), mood indigo ( jdrama,2019, 6 episodes,completed), the queen's classroom (jdrama, 2005, 11 episodes completed) and the office games (thai drama, 2023, 16 episodes, not completed). I can't say I would recommend all of them, but they all made me feel something, so there's that. Honorable mentions for story of kunning palace and a journey to love.

Ooh, good picks and some that I really like on that list, too! I have not seen Imperfect Us and I just looked that up--will add it to my list! And glad to see you watched Mood Indigo! I hope you'll continue and finish the Pornographer series, I really love the final installments and a lot of people haven't seen them.

Re: A Killer Paradox, I like to keep people guessing! No, but really I just watch all kinds of stuff, and I loved that drama. It was a fast, intense binge so I didn't really post about it, but I thought it had such an assured vision of what it wanted to be (and what it wanted to be was pretty weird in such an interesting way). Its visual storytelling was great and I really liked the themes and ambiguity about morality in the story, and how positively ACAB it was. I also love Choi Woo Shik fr fr and I like that he sprinkles in such off the wall projects.

[hours2hours]

THE HAWKINS PARADOX: CHAPTER SEVEN

Annie lights her cigarette and passes it to Miles after one long puff. The brain’s stimulation is starting to fade, so I light a joint between my lips. Annie hands me her lighter without a word.

“Not to question your experience, but is weed a good idea right now?” Miles asks.

“Maybe not for some people,” I speak through a mouthful of pretzels. “At this point high is my default state, can’t focus without it.”

“I think that’s called dependency.”

“Respectfully, I think you should can it. You need your smokes, I need mine.”

“Amen,” Annie chuckles and sits up, facing Miles. “Have you never smoked weed before?”

He takes another drag and says. “My dad would murder me if he found out. When he caught me smoking cigarettes for the first time he only let me inside to eat and sleep for weeks.”

“Really?” Annie resumes her relaxed position. “In my household grounding had the opposite effect.”

“That wasn’t close to the worst part. My Dad can act overprotective to say the least.” Another, longer drag.

Annie shrugs, “No offense, but you dad seems like a dick.”

“He has his moments I guess. He’s gone through a lot in the last few years, so I understand where he’s coming from, at least. Now he’s all the family I have left.”

I peer back through the binoculars, barely emerging above the tall grass. Still that one light on.

“So let me get this straight,” Annie says. “You’ll hang out with us, watch us torture some kid and get involved with dog-killers and drug dealers, not to mention help bust into a restauraunt. But pot is what’s gonna send your dad over the edge?”

“It's different, I can justify this to myself.” He puts out the cigarette and puts it in his pocket before taking another one.

“You’ve got a weird moral compass man,” I say.

Finally the light flicks off, and after two minutes a silhouetted figure opens and exits the front door. I nudge Annie and hand her the binoculars.

“We should wait a minute or two longer to make sure they’re gone.” I face Miles, trying to detect in his face if he’s still doing alright. “You ready?”

“In a sec.” He inhales about a quarter of the cigarette before exhaling. “Okay, I should be good. What are we gonna do if this place has a security system?”

Eyes laser focused on the diner, Annie replies. “They don’t have anything obvious, I’m guessing they spent their security budget on that camera.”

I slip my backpack over my shoulders and slide the bandana up my face. Miles and Annie both place theirs and huddle close in the grass. “Go time,” I whisper.

Even when we’re close we stay low, these are the worst times to get careless. When you’re so excited to start, legs bouncing and blood pumping with anticipation, it can easily get to your head if you’re not careful. During one of our first B&E’s, Annie was seen running up to the back door by the shop owner who hadn’t left like we thought. If I hadn’t grabbed Annie and ran we’d have been caught for sure, since Annie froze like a deer in headlights.

“Miles, are you coming or what?” Annie says. Breaking my focus, I didn’t realize Miles had stopped moving several feet back. He stands still, staring back into the darkness.

“I thought I saw something behind us,” he doesn’t look in our direction but he slowly starts again. After he’s caught up, Annie and I scan the grass for anyone, but there’s nothing we can see. Just to stay on the safe side we backtrack a little, checking the tunnel and grassy area surrounding it, but there’s no one. My ears perk up at the sound of creaking trees. Something I’ve heard all the time and never paid mind to, now sends goosebumps up my arm. Even if there was someone hiding, the blowing grass wouldn't be able to hide them. Maybe someone could have snuck into the tunnel, but Miles seeing things again seems a little more reasonable.

“It was nothing, sorry.”

“We’d rather you say somethin’ if you even suspect someone is followin’ us. Can never be too careful.” I pat him hard on the shoulder.

Miles mumbles something like a “thanks” but he doesn’t seem very proud. More likely it’s his nerves getting to him, and that damn video still. Annie shrugs it off and keeps moving.

We approach the fence from a steep angle, remaining in the camera’s blind spots. Lucky for us, the camera is perched in a high spot, above the fence and just under the shadow of the roof. It’s invisible in the dark aside from the blinking red LED. I hand Annie a medium sized rock, she knows without words that I trust her throwing arm. I’ve seen her pitch a baseball countless times and in a few unfortunate instances, felt it too. She readies herself with the rock at her hip, then smashes the thing to bits in one clean hit.

When the camera is safely dead, I toss my bag over the fence.

“Climbed many fences before, Miles?” Annie asks.

He laughs nervously, “Not exactly.” But starts digging his large feet through the slots anyway. As the shortest guy in every class since fourth grade, the climbing part of the job has never been an issue. What I lack in physical strength I make up for in agility. If I need something broken, that’s usually what Annie’s for, though from the looks of it Miles could handle some brute force if needed. He must work out with arms that big.

Focus Joel, Jesus.

Miles awkwardly swings a leg over the fence, wobbling more and more while trying to balance himself.

“Got it?” I whisper.

“I’m good,” he answers. Annie effortlessly drops to the other side, kicking aside the broken camera. Miles tries to mimic her movements, but his pants snag on the top causing him to trip, until the jeans tear and throw Miles at the concrete with a thud. 

“Miles!” I exclaim before physically shutting my own mouth. Annie squats next to him. “Shit, are you okay?” He groans and pushes his body off the ground.

I quickly hop the fence and bend down at his side, helping him up with a hand. His mask cracked from the impact, now the top corner is missing where his head hit the ground. “I’m ok. You don’t think anyone heard me do you?”

“C’mon, that’s not what I’m worried about,” I say. “You sure you didn’t break anything?”

“No one else should be within a kilometer,” Annie adds. “It’s fine. I’m more worried about Joel screaming.”

“No, I think I’m alright, let’s just do this.” He dusts off his hoodie and jeans, head held in his hand.

Annie shoves a gift card into the slit in the door moving up down, back and forth.

“You sure you’re good?” I whisper.

“No, but I probably don’t have a concussion, so whatever.” I move his hair to the side and check his head, just some rocks and dirt to dust off. Still I feel around for a bump, just in case.

“Not feelin’ dizzy or anything?”

“No, but I appreciate the concern.” 

The door clicks open, “Aha!” Seems she was right about the lack of security measures, but everything else is so cheap it comes as no surprise. The kitchen reeks of spoiled milk and expired meats. Every pot, pan, cooking utensil and stove element is charred and beaten, dropped daily and cleaned once a year by the look of it. The heat of the kitchen has sealed itself inside with the added warmth of the summer night. Sweat already beads on my forehead.

“Yikes,” Miles remarks.

“After we rob these people I’m calling a health inspector,” Annie adds.

“Now where do we find our footage, any ideas?” I ask.

“The camera out there looked relatively new. Probably stores its footage on a nearby PC,” Miles whispers.

“Probably the manager’s office,” I pace towards the front desk. “I think Wendy went down this way.” We turn down a narrow hallway with three doors and a disgusting moldy wallpaper. The door labeled Management is a small office with hundreds of papers covering the countertop and floor, with a nice laptop sitting on top. The only room that doesn’t reek with rot.

We both stare at Miles for a second. “What?” He asks.

“You’re the tech guy now,” Annie replies.

“Because I know how Wi-Fi works?”

“Yeah,” she steps into the dusty room. “I’ve never used a computer aside from school, and Joel doesn’t even do that.”

Miles sighs, “Alright, you have a thumb drive or something?” He raises an eyebrow and approaches Annie, who stares through the blinds motionless. “Annie?”

Miles and I approach cautiously, slowly meeting the point of interest with gut-twisting fear. Sirens.

[rafent]

Rafal's thin lips pressed together tightly, the peachy pink of them brought to pale like winter fruit, and nearly to disappear altogether. Unbeknown to Griss himself, his theory represented the paradox of being both wrong and right; Yunaka did look like someone from his world. He didn't accept her as a knight because of that.

Viewed one way, a former assassin who impressed her mark upon the atoning dragon; viewed in another, a young girl watching a troupe of street buskers. Her gap-toothed smile bright, her vivid red hair familiar, a stranger who Nil had noticed because in Gradlon there existed no smiling children, and none that stood in the middle like she did within a perfect unit of father, mother, and child. Someone deemed lower to him than even pawns like Nel and their Winds: a casualty. Overcome by his Corrupted and bled out alongside millions of others on dispassionate orders. A girl who had never known her killer's face, not like that killer remembered hers.

"That is. . ." Disturbed, his gaze veered to the left with subconscious habit, toward Yunaka by coincidence. He met her eyes briefly, blood and amber, then drove his attention back toward Griss. Rust. No wiser or better equipped to answer than before, the clatter of his axe provisioned welcome reprieve. No obligation for trailing words to continue, simply to continue where a fight had left off - the likeliest expectation at least until it was betrayed.

"I beg your pardon—you will do what exactly, Griss?"

On the flip of a dime, comparatively docile round pupils squeezed into offended shards. Huffy voice, puffy hackles. He reached for his axe with a renewal of strength more felt than seen, leaning the bulk of his weight onto it as he lectured the Hound. "Yunaka has ruined nothing. Do not forget that I still stand before you! Until I am no longer possessed with the means, our battle continues and you will go to no-one else. Do you hear me!? I won't have you—"

To speak of motion appeared to manifest it into existence. Had Griss always appeared so far away? Whey face melting like marshmallows pressed against a fire and green hair floating like kelp? Yunaka herself an even shorter smear of burgundy deemed comical in her exaggerated proximity to the ground. Rafal blinked rapidly as the world around him grew unfocused, his body so boneless it were as if he were submerged underwater. Voices and sensations, too, surrendered to nameless seas. . .

"I won't have you. . .walk. . .away. . ." A dragon's final sleepy words as he slumped unconscious against the dirt.

@dcggersedge

✦ 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 ✧

TOA Boel 2025, Griss vs. Rafal intermission ft. Yunaka