#finding worth

[dropintomanga]

Gachiakuta Has an Answer to Feeling Nothing

How many of us who have been through mental health struggles have often said that we feel nothing? How often have we said that we have nothing? What is there for us when it feels like there's no worth in life?

Kei Urana's Gachiakuta has one answer to avoid falling into a state of despair.

The story is about a young boy named Rudo Suberec, who finds himself thrown into the deep pit of society, appropriately titled the Pit, after being framed for the murder of his foster father, Regto. In the Pit, Rudo encounters a world filled with trash and monsters that inhabit it. He later discovers a group of superpowered humans (called Givers) known as the Cleaners and helps them out all while trying out to figure out the truth and discovering his own potential as a Cleaner.

In one encounter with a rival Giver (known as a Raider) in Volume 3, Rudo struggles to unlock his power while witnessing the Raider mercilessly attack one of his colleagues. The Raider says the person wasn't worth anything of value to anyone. This triggers the following flashback of Regto from Rudo.

A young Rudo once felt that because he was abandoned, he's deemed worthless because he can't follow anyone's instructions. Regto is right in saying if you're feeling nothing, a major reason why you feel that way is because you don't have something you like or anything you really want to do.

For me when I had major depression, while I did have friends and hobbies, I still felt nothing at times. They helped a bunch, but I think about what Regto was saying about seeing and experiencing things in the 3rd image. Having a support system and hobbies are great, but it felt like I needed to face reality as well and see it for what it is. Over time, I started to understand what was really important to me. I needed to see other people's experiences offline and see for myself how they live. Then maybe I'll end finding something I truly like that would keep me attached to this world beyond material interests.

To me, I found worth in learning about people opening up with their struggles and realizing that positivity wasn't the total answer to life's problems. What I really wanted to do was to stop chasing happiness. What I wanted to do was slow down in the face of a fast-paced world that demands so much from us. I felt I hated myself because I couldn't keep up. I wanted to stop being on social media so much because it was preventing me from seeing the full picture of life.

That's why I want people with mental health conditions (especially teenagers) to be able to experience things as much as they can. Meet people or a community who can help guide you in a way where you have control of how you want to feel alive and make a real difference in life. Face your past and realize that you can keep the pain of it to a minimum. You are more than just a victim of awful circumstances. Harness your core values.

And more importantly, find a way to describe and express the feelings you have that are driving you to feel empty. Rudo couldn't put to words what he was feeling, but knew something was off. Regto was able to explain things clearly and this subsequent moment happened below.

The real worth is being able to express your feelings, good and bad, because that's when the possibilities to rise from the pit of despair, a la Gachiakuta, happens. And then your inner world will be full of things you will like that are worth living for.

[k3n999]

And the real culprit is...

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Penelope's final gambit, you will always be famous, no matter the subtext.

[lazylittledragon]

they did it!!

conclusion to this and this

[aerequets]

cost and benefit

[weinersnarf]

Yorha android Miku, aka 39B

This drawing is the singular reason I have failed inktober. HOW could I concentrate on anything but this?? She has consumed me I fear

(Yes her sword is a leek version of Virtuous Contract. YES she is standing on a pile of leeks. YES I felt the leeks were too important to only mention in the tags.)

[mischievous-thunder]

Wade's not gonna remain "cum-loser" for much longer and you know that too, Logan.

[pr0cyon-lotor]

AU where chess is a common strategy game in PIDW and SY is a chess master before he gets transmigrated. Like undefeated and well known in the community. He's probably popular even in mainstream social media because he's a pretty boy with a soft demeanor.

Of course he still reads PIDW and is a massive hater, but he now hides it because he sees it as shameful especially with his reputation of being a kind-hearted person.

Anyway he dies and gets thrown into the novel a bit after the Qing generation ascends. He's just a rogue cultivator or maybe even a demon, not really important. What's important is that he gets bored and misses his old hobby.

He finds out chess is a thing in this world and immediately hops into it again. Sadly, he keeps beating people and no one is a real challenge. So to give himself a puzzle, he picks up other strategy games and gets really good at them too. And after a few years, he is well known in PIWD with his skills in a variety of games.

Enter SJ. Fresh off getting LBH into his peak and STRESSED about how much he sees himself in this child and about how much he hates that fact.

He enters the Warm Red Pavilion and finds some guy playing a game with one of the jiejies. One of those little mind games to entertain the guests, and he's playing against the best one.

SJ watches while he waits for his room and to his surprise the man wins. He immediately gets ready to step in-between because whenever guests win against one of the prostitutes they always get handsy and he knows that particular one doesn't like to do sex work (like maybe she specializes in poetry and dancing instead yk).

Instead of the man getting handsy, he asks for another game, which she accepts with a smile. And now SJ is watching them play with much more interest. After a while the madam comes over and asks if he's interested in their regular.

SJ asks about the man and gets his name and finds out that apparently SY comes to the brothel to play against the ladies and listen to music at times.

SJ keeps it in mind and then leaves for his room. The next time he sees SY is during another trip down the mountain (probably dressed down to not draw attention to himself). This time he was in a tea shop playing go against an elderly man. SY wins again and patiently explains what mistakes the old man made.

The old man accepts defeat and asks him for a rematch. SY agrees, and SJ finally approaches out of curiosity. SJ asks if he can play SY after they're done. The old man says something about how he's probably going to lose anyway and says SJ just takes his turn.

SJ accepts it and sits in front of SY. He thinks it's going to be an easy win, something to stroke his bruised ego. Only for him to get completely annihilated like it was an embarrassing lost for him. (It wasn't embarrassing, he almost won, but he didn't win so obviously it was embarrassing)

SJ expects gloating and nearly crushes his fan in his hand. SY tells him that he was a tough opponent and he asks for another rematch. SJ is confused about the sincerity and hesitantly agrees even though his ego tells him to cut his losses now.

They continue to play multiple games in a row, each one getting longer and longer with each mistake SY explains and helps SJ fix (he doesn't even notice he's taking advice from a man). They continue playing and drinking tea until they're kicked out because the shop is closing.

SY laughs sheepishly and says he didn't even notice the time pass. He asks if SJ is free to play again because it's been the first time in years he's had that much fun against someone else. SJ agrees because he refuses to have a losing streak (and he found it a little fun too).

Eventually it becomes a routine, SJ comes down the mountain every week and plays SY in go until the establishment they're in kicks them out. And because his brain is constantly on how to beat SY, he starts neglecting other things (like abusive LBH and other duties).

And because he's neglecting duties, eventually he has to do a information collecting mission with Shang Qinghua. They arrive at the town and they're tasked with collecting information on a lead of a demon hiding within a festival.

Somehow this leads to SY joining their little info gathering group and finding out SQH is Airplane (he's still somehow unaware of SJ being SQQ because of course he is).

Shenanigans ensue and somehow a sting operation is set up with SY being used as bait. He manages to coerce the demon into a game of chess while he waits for SJ and SQH to arrive.

They play chess. He thinks he'll just stall until the two get there, but halfway through he moves his knight and it ends up near the demon's knight. And with a straight face, the demon takes both knights off the board while claiming "And they're both out for horsie marriage."

Right then SJ and SQH arrive to slay the demon, only to bare witness to SY doing the Xianxia equivalent of shooting the demon point blank with a Glock 19 because surprise surprise that bullshit move pissed off the chess master.

SJ says something sarcastic about not needing to save the damsel (they put) in distress. And then SY asks to speak to SQH privately while dragging him out by the ear.

He continues to interrogate the author because what the ACTUAL FUCK was that bullshit move?! And SQH defends himself by saying he never thought a professional chess player would ever read his stuff, much less play the game in-verse. He tells SY he thought it would be funny if that could happen.

Anyway.

SJ has to pry SY off SQH because he almost legitimately strangles him to death. SY is dragged away, screaming things that'd make even a demon blush, and admittedly, SJ is amused.

They end up in some tea shop, SY muttering about the idiocy of it all in English, and SJ ordering for both of them. He asks what got SY so mad since like this guy has had an unshakable pleasant demeanor until now.

SY makes up some story about how his hometown played chess differently and that he's realizing he doesn't know how chess is played anywhere else. He asks SJ for a guide for playing chess because he doesn't want to overreact like he did before.

SJ agrees in exchange for a guide of how his hometown played chess. The deal was made and after they came back to town they both write their manuals. They exchange them in their next meetup, and SY is muttering about how stupid some of the rules are. SJ finds it very funny as he reads the manual SY gave him, finding that he prefers his version since there was less unnecessary traps.

SJ eventually asks to play SY in a chess game once he understands his version. SY happily agrees and they play over and over again until SJ beat him. SY is over the moon and asks for another rematch, which he gets beaten again. They play a few more times wins alternating until SY grabs SJ's hands and tells him he's in love with him and his massive brain.

SJ is caught off guard and flustered, so he hits SY with his fan and calls him shameless as he leaves to preserve as much face as possible. SY whines about him being unfair and follows SJ while apologizing about the comment.

SJ ignores him and leaves SY alone. He thinks he fucked up until the next time they meet, and SJ brings him a book he been meaning to buy but just couldn't find. SY is about to comment on the gift but SJ shuts him up and hides his face behind his fan. He manages to see the smallest hint of a blush and (shockingly) understands.

They both start exchanging gifts each meetup in silent courting. And surprisingly he hasn't abused LBH since he got there (because he forgets to. he has a boyfriend to worry about thank you very much 🤨), so when the Conference comes, SJ doesn't throw LBH into the abyss.

He still ends up in the abyss but only because MF got thrown in when they encountered MBJ, and he jumped after his shixiong. SY is there because of course he wants to stop the evil scum villain from hurting his little lamb, but he's just standing there like

Because how else is he supposed to react to LBH throwing himself into the abyss to go after MF who was thrown in when they encountered MBJ. Was Ming Fan even supposed to be there????

Also why is SJ in such ornate robes. Why is he mourning? Why are they going back to Qing Jing? WHY IS NING YINGYING CALLING SHEN JIU BABA?! WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING HIM SHIZUN?!!!?!???

[cspcrashing]

and i will find you across a thousand lifetimes

[officialmiintee]

wind breaker / the sun and his moon

[xeniagda]

"dog library"

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Learning to celebrate the little wins!

[activitytime]

Honor the Loss - April 2025

[ao3commentoftheday]

I'm just going to throw it out there that insecurity sucks and it makes doing things so damn hard, and if you're managing to do them despite your lack of confidence then you're amazing and I wish you the best 💗

[sebastianshoelace]

Worth The Wait Spoiler:

Sebastian looking so sad right when he opens the door 😭

And then he spots the player:

Going from devastated to furious in just a couple of seconds 😭 And with good reason!