#firebeast

[beastologist]

↪ 911 on ABC, 7.10 “All Fall Down”

[bucksaiga]

This is completely self indulgent but if you care, enjoy.

[spicycinnabun]

jealous!tommy + date night - if tommy hadn't ran away after 8x11 and they'd talked (some) of it out. ao3 link

♡

Evan was FaceTiming with Eddie. 

Eddie had called, and Tommy had taken over whisking the white wine butter sauce so Evan could answer. He hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t reacted. Eyes on the pot.

Chris was auditioning for a part in a school play, and Eddie was telling Evan all about it. Rambling, really. He was nervous, and understandably so. It was a big deal for any parent. Evan was, of course, full of sweet reassurance and advice for him.

Tommy could’ve waited for their conversation to finish. He could’ve stayed out of the way, minded his own, or busied himself cleaning up the kitchen. The food would stay warm on the stove. It was fine.

…Except it wasn’t really fine. 

This was their night. Not best friend night.

Tommy put the whisk down on the spoon rest. He tried not to feel like the world’s most insecure manchild as he reached a decision.

He came up behind Evan and wrapped his arms around him. “Sorry to interrupt,” he lied, hooking his chin over Evan’s shoulder and speaking close to Evan’s ear. “Dinner’s ready.”

“Oh.” Evan made a small sound and huffed a half-laugh. He didn’t shoo Tommy away like Tommy thought he might, didn’t say I’ll be there in a minute. Instead, he leaned back against Tommy’s chest, letting Tommy take some of his weight. “Thanks, babe.”

Tommy smiled. Babe. Well, he’d take that.

Eddie pulled back from the camera. Squinted. “Hey, Tommy! Didn’t know you were there.”

Uh-huh.

Eddie smiled at him. Things weren’t great between them, and it showed in the thinness of his lips, but they were making an effort. For Evan, if not for themselves.

“Diaz,” Tommy acknowledged. The last name thing was a bit petty, he’d admit. His hand splayed, warm and possessive, over Evan’s stomach. Evan’s stomach muscles jumped, his cheeks turning pink on screen. “Good to see you.”

“Likewise.”

It was good to see Eddie. They had been friends. It stung not to be anymore, though Tommy had understood why he’d been ghosted. Tommy wanted to get back to their early camaraderie, eventually. He just wanted Evan to himself tonight more than he wanted that, that selfish beast rearing its ugly head again.

“Tommy and I made ravioli,” Evan explained, angling his phone towards the dirty pasta maker on the counter behind them, the mixing bowl and the open bag of semolina flour. 

The bag was still on its side, some of it spilled. They had knocked it over while fooling around. Tommy had lifted Evan onto the counter to kiss him stupid after he’d made a bratty remark about Tommy’s dough handling skills (“I can handle you, though.”).

The table set for two was also visible in the background. There was wine. Tommy had lit candles.

“Homemade pasta? Sounds great,” Eddie said. He looked a little envious. Tommy bet he missed Evan’s cooking. Now that Evan wasn’t at his Buck and call, he had to cook for himself or go to his parents’. “Chris and I ordered a pizza.” 

“Nice,” Tommy said, not unkindly. He didn’t say anything else.

Neither did Evan.

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed, scratching the back of his neck. “Anyway, I’ll let you two get back to your date. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

Tommy wondered if that was the truth, but tried not to let his mind wander further down that path. Making an effort, he reminded himself.

“Call me tomorrow? I wanna hear how Chris’ audition went. And tell him we’re rooting for him,” Evan said, complete with grin and dorky fist pump.

“Of course,” Eddie said.

It eased something in Tommy that Evan didn’t assure Eddie he wasn’t intruding. It was their date. His hands moved to Evan’s hips and squeezed. He gave in to that beast again and made eye contact with Eddie as he kissed Evan’s jaw. Staking his claim. 

He let go and went to the stove to serve them, setting their plates on the table and turning on some soft music just as Evan stuttered a goodbye to Eddie.

[kinardsevan]

who am i (to know)?

had this drabble in my head for a hot second. enjoy. post-s8 shenanigans.

-

"I owe you an apology."

Tommy looks up from his coffee with wide eyes. Maddie is standing across the kitchen from him, her own fresh cup in her hands. She'd come out from getting baby Bobby down, having fallen asleep in the rocking chair in the nursery while he'd been left in the house with Jee-Yun when the girl had wrangled him into a very convoluted pretend play of princesses and dragons. Evan was outside with Howie, working on a landscaping project that Tommy was supposed to join him on before his attention had been taken over by Jee.

"You really don't," he tells her, glancing out into the other room. Jee had fallen asleep on him—literally—about ten minutes before Maddie had come out, and he'd been so heartened by the fact that he hadn't wanted to move her. Maddie had shifted her over once she came out and offered him coffee.

"I do, though, "she states, stirring a spoon inside her coffee cup to mix the flavored creamer in. Her indulgences with the drink aren't very different from Tommy's, always seeking the sweetness instead of the caffeine.

She takes a deep breath, sips rom her drink before setting it on the counter.

"I wasn't very nice to you during round one of your and Evan's relationship, much less during the…off season," she comments.

Tommy lets out the slightest chuckle, the corner of his mouth pulling up as he acquiesces a nod before taking a sip of his own coffee.

"I'll give you that one," he responds. "But he's your brother. And as I understand it, maybe even more than that, given the situation with your parents," he comments as he sets his own coffee on the counter and leans back against it, wrapping his fingers over the ledge.

Maddie nods. "I recognize that he's an adult, and that end of the day, we're siblings-.."

"But for all intents and purposes, he's still your baby in some contexts," Tommy finishes for her. Maddie nods at the statement.

He's never said much on the subject, but he's always seen the way that Maddie has looked at Evan when they were in group situations. He still remembers the way she had kept watch over him at her own wedding reception—both the impromptu one thrown at the hospital, and the one that Bobby and Athen had held for them weeks later when schedules finally lined up and they were able to do something small at their condo. Maddie had been cordial, at the very least, but she had always kept a watchful eye on him, always waiting for…something. She never commented on whatever it was that she was waiting to see take place, but it seemed obvious once the breakup took place—she was waiting on him to end things.

"The thing is, for as complex as Evan's trauma is, he doesn't know it the same way we do," Maddie states. Tommy inhales sharply, staring down into his coffee mug.

It's not that he's ever expected Evan to not tell other people about the things he's shared about his own life—he knows that keeping secrets isn't healthy, and it directly affected the downfall of their relationship in the first go around. It wasn't at all that Tommy didn't want Evan to know him, either, or that he didn't want to know Evan in deeper ways. But when they had finally taken the time to sit down and really talk about the dark stuff that they'd avoided during the first year, it was more than clear that the trauma they both held wasn't light or easy. He fully understood Evan's urge to cling with a life filled with abandonment, including an entire quarter of his life in which he didn't speak to a single member of his family—and none of them had bothered to reach out to him. Adding to that he fact that he was 29 before he knew about his dead brother, and the fact that his entire life existed because he'd been intended as a savior sibling—so much about the younger man had come into focus for Tommy. He had no problem assuming that the same could also be said for Evan in relation to him.

"I think he's got a bit of a better grasp on it now," Tommy answers, still staring down into his coffee cup. He can't actually be entirely sure that the younger man really does understand the urge to bolt, but in the face of Bobby's death, while he urged to cling and stay close, Tommy needed time alone to process. It wasn't even that he didn't appreciate the comfort of being with Evan—he very much so did—but in the same breadth, he had only ever known a life where processing loss came hand-in-hand with loneliness. He needed the silence to figure out his own thoughts. But it was also that need for separation—short as it may have been—that ultimately led to the fighting that brought them back together.

"I imagine he does," Maddie states softly. She stares at Tommy for a time, and when he looks back up at her, the expression on her face is one he's only ever seen in his direction as a young child. It's the way that his mom used to look at him before she died. A layer of emotions, usually some mixed level of both pride and annoyance, but always covered in love. It makes a wave of something unfamiliar rush through his chest.

Well, maybe not unfamiliar so much as so distantly memorable that it doesn't feel right at first.

"Anyway, my point was…" Maddie trails off after a moment, and Tommy glances over at her again. There's something familiar in their shared gaze, but whether her statement is too loaded to put into words, or she doesn't fully have a grasp on it, she's not sure. He lets out another soft breath of a chuckle and nods.

"You didn't think I was going to change my mind," he states, not questioning. "Come back."

"I wasn't entirely sure," she admits. "I just knew that I recognized something in you, and I didn't like it. It took me a while, when you came back around to really grasp what it was that I was ambivalent about, but when you showed up and helped with saving Howie, a-and stuck around for Evan…" She glances back down at her coffee, touching the cup anxiously while also trying to keep her emotions together. "Well, anyway, I've seen Evan's life be a revolving door, in the kind of way where people come and go. They don't really come back. And I knew he loved you, but I wasn't sure if you loved him. Before then, I mean."

"Figured I was just along for the good times with the hot sibling," Tommy comments, just a hint of his bitchy tone and a smile on his face. Maddie scoffs.

"He is not the hot sibling."

"He kind of is," Tommy answers with a slight tilt of his head, and then they're both laughing, and it feels good. It feels warm and safe, and he has just the slightest pang of anxiety about letting himself really sink into it. No matter how much Evan tells him that there isn't anyone else and he doesn't want someone else, the fear of letting himself believe in another future that he won't actually get is still terrifying.

"The important thing is that you believe that," Maddie states, still laughing a little. As she finishes talking, though, just a smile remains on her face, and Tommy knows she means it.

Tommy glances out toward the back patio as Evan and Howie work on moving a bag of mulch into large pots, and his expression softens.

"He still scares me, if I'm honest," he tells her. "I've put faith into relationships in the past that didn't work out, and that hurt. But falling in love with him, and then telling myself that I couldn't have him…" His eyes get that overly dry feeling as he feels the edge of them brim with moisture. He glances back over at Maddie briefly, and she has that look on her face again, and it makes his heart twist. His gaze falls to her hands wrapped around her coffee mug as he drags his teeth against themselves, bites the side of his cheek. "He feels like a home I haven't known since…and I couldn't let go of him the way I should have. S-so even though he tells me otherwise, I still wake up every day convinced just a little bit that he will actually destroy me."

Maddie sets her cup down and Tommy looks away, suddenly feeling as though he needs to pull himself together in the right way. He forces a breath out and pushes a smile across his face as she walks over to him, wraps her small hands around his bicep, leaning into his side a little. The height difference is a little ridiculous, but he finds he doesn't mind it.

"I think you've figured this out, but Evan loves big, and in grand gestures. He has a penchant for missteps and overcorrection, but he means only the best with all of it. And in the midst of all of that, I have never seen him love the way he loves you, even if it took him a while to piece all of that together."

Tommy glances down at Maddie, his gaze narrowed just slightly.

"You don't think he's going to change his mind one day?" He tries to make it sound like a joke, but the trembling in his voice gives him away, and Maddie squeezes his bicep.

"Believe me when I tell you, Evan doesn't see anyone else," Maddie tells him. "Also, if you tell him that I've told you this, I'll deny it because of how disgusted I was when he said it to begin with. But I have heard him make the statement that if it was humanly possible, he'd have your children." Maddie narrows her eyes at Tommy. "Truth be told, I wouldn't be surprised if he did a deep dive to see if it is possible."

Tommy blushes at her statement, lets out a laugh, and it makes Maddie laugh too. For a solid two minutes, they lean against each other and the counter, laughing until it hurts to keep doing so, at which point the patio doors open and Evan and Howie come walking in, pink and each covered in a sheen of sweat. The center of Evan's tank clings to his chest, and it makes Tommy feral just looking at him.

"Might have to do a google search of my own," he mutters toward Maddie. She slaps his arm and steps away as Evan and Howie both mutter some version of 'what?' Maddie walks over to her husband and wraps an arm around him, pulling him away as Evan approaches Tommy. The pilot watches his boyfriend as Evan drapes an arm over his shoulder, fingers grazing at his hairline as he smirks at him.

"You are so dirty right now," Tommy tells him. "And sweaty."

Evan nods. "We were going to shower. The master bedroom has its own. And besides, you like me all sweaty and worked up." He trails a finger down the center of Tommy's chest, slipping it in past the button the fastened button in the center of Tommy's chest. The pilot glances down at what he's doing, can't fight the smirk pulling on his face. Evan leans into him, tilts up toward his ear. "Shower with me."

"There are children here," Tommy murmurs back to him, glancing toward the hall. He hears the bedroom door shut down the hall, and Evan presses his heated, sweaty cheek into Tommy's. "And I didn't plan for this."

"I did," Evan whispers, turning his head more and biting down into the space below Tommy's ear as he leans closer to him. Tommy gulps. Evan's free hand slides down his torso before his fingers curl into the waist of the pilot's jeans. "I have clothes for you. Shower with me."

Tommy opens his mouth to respond, but Evan's fingers dip lower, and the pilot gasps as the tips of Evan's fingers brush against him.

"Quickie in the shower," he whispers, his throat tight with need. "Quiet like a mouse."

Evan grins against his neck, and he can feel it.

"Sure," he answers gruffly. When he pulls away, the grin is still plastered on his face as he tugs Tommy forward by the hand still in his jeans. "Bag's already in the bathroom."

Yeah. Tommy definitely needs to get on that Google search.

[kj7895]

That funeral scene was the seal for me that BuckTommy are endgame. Especially the our people are what life worth living and how Buck was looking straight at Tommy and the camera focusing on Tommy. That was insane 😭😭😭

BuckTommy

[thatmexisaurusrex]

Fuck it, Babes! I'm Fixing This in Denial-verse!

You know what? Like the song title that started this fic says, "Say No More", Tim. You don't see the joy in BuckTommy? You don't see the love and happiness in Tevan? You aren't interested in the stable relationship that is Kinley? I got this. I'm okay with taking Happiest-We've-Ever-Seen-Him-Buck and Fantastic-Boyfriend-With-Baggage-Tommy off your hands, good sir!

It feels apt that I named this fic Denial-verse 😂 That the singers of the song are called Fickle Friends. We had a good canon run. There's a lot of wonderful stuff there. And okay, are there one or two minutes at the end that we have to change? Not hard to do. Take my hands, babes. We're going off the paved roads, onto the beaten path of fanon by the end of this.

I get it. I was reeling. It hurt. I was hurt. It wasn't fair or kind. It was honestly cruel in its execution. I didn't get sleep. I've never lost sleep over a show before. It was wild. But I listened to the song that inspired the first fic in this series originally recently and I just smiled because - fuck it.

I didn't know where this was going back then either.

I thought it might end at any moment.

I'm happy with what we have despite the bullshit that happened. It's more than most ships I love get. And I've never hated writing in the realm of fanon. Why would I hate it now?

I'm actually a little excited. I don't have to worry about whether shit I make up is going to contradict canon anymore.

Now, as my goal in Denial-verse always is, I will be sticking as close to canon as I can. But I won't be ending it like it ended on the show. This might get a little angsty, but I promise you a happy ending. I'm always good for a happy ending.

I don't know who wants this. Maybe I'll be the last clown sitting here reading the end of this epic I didn't intend to write. But fuck it, if I'm the last clown at the circus, I'll be happy.

So.

As the song goes, "Paradise, I'm your beholder!" Now, get "caught in this denial" with me and let me "show [you] the way"! 😆

Be ready for some Denial-verse soon! Possibly tomorrow or the day after!

[triskel-samulet]

What if.

Tommy walked out the door. He wanted to turn around, walk right back in, and beg for forgiveness in the form of a kiss. But he stayed rooted in place. If Evan wanted him, he’d open the door. He’d follow Tommy and not let him go.

Evan was impulsive, wore his heart on his sleeve- and in Tommy’s experience- went after what he wanted. Evan was always outspoken and upfront with him. He’d asked Tommy to his sister’s wedding after Tommy left him in the middle of a date. He asked Tommy to move in after finding out they had a mutual ex. If he really wanted to, he’d open would open the door.

Tommy waited and waited, but it soon became clear Evan- Buck- really wasn’t coming after him this time.

It was a hard adjustment. He wanted to reach out so many times. But he promised he’d let Evan set the pace. He would take his cues from the other man. And right now the silence spoke volumes.

One afternoon a documentary about sea monkeys was on at harbor and Tommy started texting Evan- Buck- about it. But then he remembered he couldn’t. There were no more substacks or random facts in his life. No matter how much he wanted them.

He was the one who walked out. And now he was faced with the harsh truth that in trying to save his heart, he broke it instead.

[weewookinard]

My dear ex (bucktommy love letters serie)

You might have forgotten about it but once upon a time i started a serie of love letters from Tommy to Buck. I wrote one today, which is big because i stopped writing recently because i am fucking miserable.

This letter is 8x11 coda, it doesn't look really happy and hopeful but i am a true believer of endgame!bucktommy so i'll write more happy ones! Some letters are episodes inspired, some are not, you can find them on ao3 . Feel free to check the rest of my work, it might help me find motivation?? idk. Anyway, new letter incoming!

----

My dear ex, 

The word competition shouldn't have come out of my mouth the other day. Everything was going so well before I cracked it open. I'd managed to find your favorite variety of apples, my bacon was cooked to perfection, and the sun was shining in your new kitchen when you got up and joined me, gorgeous as always. 

And I ruined it. 

And then you ruined it, too. 

My psychologist says I have to stop blaming myself all the time, that I have to accept that others make mistakes too. But I'm not sure the words you said were a mistake. Not as if I could ask you to explain, not after leaving like a coward -again.

It's not the first time I've fallen back into the arms of an ex. It's not the first time I've slept with someone despite the pain of a break-up. It's not the first time I've been the only one to feel hopeful again. But every time it ends the same way, Evan, with my heart in pieces and a head full of shame. 

I wish I didn't regret this moment, I wish I didn't want to see you again. But I can't help it, I can't do without you. You're everywhere, all the time, and I naively thought that your presence the other night in the same bar as me was a sign.

You've made it clear that you don't have feelings for me, but I'm still hanging on anyway, a masochist who doesn't know when to give up.

You may not have feelings for me Evan, but I do. I'm crazy about you, crazy about what we once were. Six months that changed my life, that damaged me too. What do I do now? 

Part of me wants to knock on your door -Eddie's door. Maybe I could, with a little effort, make you fall in love with me? Maybe I could settle for a one-sided love if only you'd offer me a place by your side. It would hurt me, it would make myself disrespect me, but I don't have anything else to do. I don't deserve better and I don't need better. 

All I need is you. 

You can love who you want, you can not love at all. But I beg you, let me love you a little. 

I hope you don't mind that I opened a few boxes that morning. 

Please forgive me, 

Tommy

[krazycattgurl]

Praying we get to see more of these two in the next season ❤️🙏

[chobani-flip]

tommy kinard gets cold easily

twice we have now seen him wearing a long-sleeved layer on top of a t-shirt while buck was only in a short-sleeved t-shirt

you know what that means, right?

when tommy isn't being the big spoon, buck is the weighted, heated blanket boyfriend

it is known

[beastologist]

“That fire was a beast.” - “So are you.” ↪ 911 on ABC, 7.06 “There Goes the Groom”

[bucksaiga]

[spicycinnabun]

There's a sugar daddy au??!!!

Also let me be greedy and request my fave 🐺 🤭🤭🤭

there is!

have some werewolf courtship 🐺❤️

Buck set the heavy bag on his dining room table. It was filled with tomatoes, carrots, eggplant and zucchini, bits of dirt still clinging to the stems and leaves. There were also plump strawberries and a bundle of thyme. The aromas were strong under Buck’s sensitive nose. 

He had discovered it outside his door and wondered if someone had accidentally delivered their groceries to the wrong address—until he saw a note peeking out between some colorful bell peppers. It had familiar handwriting.

Buck picked it up and read it.

I have more than I know what to do with. Figured you could probably find a good use for them.

- Tommy

A trio of sunflowers were hanging over the side of the bag. Buck found a vase for them and gave them some water to drink. 

Nobody had ever given him flowers before. 

And nobody was around to see him stick his face in them like a lovesick dummy wolf. 

His emotions were being goofy. He was probably making a bigger deal over this than he should’ve. 

Everything was from Tommy’s garden, though. He had planted, tended, and hand-picked it all. They were the literal fruits of his labor, and he was giving them to Buck, of all people.

What did it mean?

Buck picked up his phone, opting for something silly instead of serious. 

This is a pretty big🍆

They had established a routine of texting each other. Tommy never left him hanging; he always seemed willing to talk. Not once had Buck ever felt brushed off. Tommy was witty as hell. His sarcastic remarks were sharp, but often offset by something sweet and genuine in the next minute. 

Buck was overdoing it—he knew he was, and the Alpha would eventually get sick of him—but he couldn’t help himself. He was just so interested. 

It didn’t take long for Tommy to answer. 

Thanks. Intimidated? 

Buck laughed. Nope. I like a challenge. Can already think of a whole bunch of fun things I wanna do with it. 

He sent a photo of himself holding the eggplant, quirking an eyebrow impishly.

Evan. We’re talking about cooking, right?

Of course. What else? :)

You’re a menace.

Buck laughed again. Wasn’t the first time he’d been called that. Thank you, by the way. 

You’re welcome. If you want more, just let me know. 

Buck bit his lip. We’re still talking about vegetables, right?

Tommy didn’t immediately bubble him, and Buck worried he’d pushed too far. It was a few minutes before his phone lit up.

What else? 

So, the ball was officially in his court. 

Buck swallowed, bouncing on his feet a few times to gear himself up. (Contrary to what Chim claimed, doing that wasn’t tippy tappies.) 

Maybe I want more of you?

The lack of bubbles that time was deafening. Buck smacked his forehead, then nearly dropped his phone as it started ringing. 

Tommy was FaceTiming him.

“Oh!”

Buck hastily ran fingers through his curls and propped his phone up against the fruit bowl on the island, accepting the call.

Tommy appeared on his screen. He was in his turnouts, rows of lockers behind him. His face was sooty, his eyes tired, but he looked content to see Buck.

“Hey,” Buck said, smiling. 

“Evan.”

Something about Tommy’s soft gaze and his tone, warm and low, made Buck’s belly squirm happily. “Just got back from a call?”

“Yeah. I’m about to clean up and have some dinner.” 

Buck put his chin in his palm. “What’s on the menu?” 

Tommy gave him an unreadable look, then smiled back. “Some jerky. Probably something on Wonder Bread. Hopefully, not Freddie’s chicken salad.” 

Some of them had contracted food poisoning from that in the past, Tommy had said. Tommy’s was brief, thanks to his fast healing. Still, Buck groaned in sympathy, a near whine hitting the edge of it. “Tommy, that hurts my culinary soul.”

Tommy chuckled. “It hurts my stomach more, I promise.” He sighed. Buck wanted to press his thumb against Tommy’s cleft and kiss him through the screen. He tried to dispel the thought. “I’ll admit, I miss Bobby’s meals.”

Buck had learned that the 217’s idea of crew dinner was abysmal at best. They rarely ate together, and the only time they had somewhat healthy food was when one of the guys’ wives brought something in.

Buck wondered if Tommy would like his cooking as much as Bobby’s. He was almost as good of a chef as Bobby now, though he excelled a bit more at baking. 

“You’re wearing my clothes again.” 

Tommy’s observation pulled Buck back to the conversation quickly. 

It had become a habit for him to wear the hoodie at home. Embarrassing that Tommy had caught him.

“Yeah. It—it—it’s comfortable.” It was more than that. Buck tugged on the strings, fighting a blush and losing. He attempted more playful banter. “I don’t think I’m going to give it back. In fact, the next time I see you, I’m going to steal another.”

Did werewolves share clothes? Buck didn’t have any other furry friendships to compare this to. He was probably way out of line.

A few of his old girlfriends had liked wearing his stuff. He’d always thought it was cute seeing them dwarfed in his baggy sweaters. He was starting to understand the appeal from the other side. 

But Tommy wasn't his boyfriend, and he bet it was only okay to share within a wolf pack, and he was acting like a total clingy weirdo, and Tommy was probably super skeeved out, and—

“I don’t want it back,” Tommy said. His eyes had darkened, zeroing in on Buck. “It’s yours.”

Buck swore he could hear—feel—Tommy’s heartbeat thudding powerfully in sync with his own. He had an insane and confusing desire to drop to his knees and offer up his bite mark like the Alpha was in the room with him.

You’re mine, Buck heard.

The fire bell ringing on Tommy’s end interrupted them, and whatever spell they were under broke.

Buck straightened up. His legs felt unsteady.

“Guess dinner will have to wait.”

…Why did Buck feel like he was dinner?

“Y-yeah.” 

Tommy smirked. “Talk to you later. Be good.”

Buck made a noise.

The call ended. 

⏾

Buck went to the grocery store. He loaded his cart, checked out without looking too hard at the total, and hauled his stand mixer out of the cupboard as soon as he returned. His kitchen soon became a disaster zone.

Tommy had fed him so well when he’d been bane sick. Though he’d said all he could really do was roast, grill, and dehydrate, it had been more than enough. 

It was Buck’s turn to take care of the Alpha. Not repayment, just appreciation. It wouldn’t be as good as a fresh kill, but Buck hoped Tommy would enjoy the transformation his produce had undergone. 

And Freddie’s chicken salmonella salad could be tossed in the trash where it belonged.

Buck wanted Tommy to feel his gratitude. Buck could fill his stomach and satisfy him. Win him over. 

It could make the Alpha see Buck as a potential mate.

…That was his wolf butting in again, of course.

Buck made spiced carrot cake, thyme and honey focaccia, a massive meaty lasagna with rich tomato sauce, and a ratatouille he spent an excessive amount of time making beautifully layered. 

The last thing he popped in the oven was a batch of strawberry muffins stuffed with homemade strawberry jam. Only the center muffin he decorated with vanilla buttercream and red sprinkles. He left a note in his chicken scratch on top of the tupperware.

The special one is for you. Don’t let anyone else have it.

- Evan

It was almost three AM when he finally shut the refrigerator doors and collapsed into bed with a grin on his face. 

⏾

The following day, Buck carefully loaded everything into an empty box he’d saved from a past delivery and stuck it in the back seat of his Jeep. (Maddie teased him for his millennial urge to save every box he acquired, but she couldn’t deny they were useful.)

Then, Buck set off for the harbor station. 

⏾

tag list: @justahumblecabbagemerchant @loulou-land @harmonic-intervention @sweaters-and-silly @theallyandhisbeast @brassm-tagged @scuderiadebauchery @chococara25 @darkqueen458 @cinderellarhea @setmeatopthepyre @buffaluff @eliotwaughdeservesbetter @figuringitoutaloud @cannibalhellhound @i-dont-even-know-anymore976 @ambernotember @the-omniscient-narrator @zeraparker @cometconnector @fenrirscarsback @moonydanny @espressopatronum454

previous parts

[kinardsevan]

houston, we got a problem

Tommy is mildly panicked when he walks into their home. He’s just come off his first day back at work after the shooting and is excited for him and Evan to have their first ninety-six off living in the same home. It wasn’t supposed to actually work out that way—he was supposed to have gone back to work earlier in the week—but his doctors had held him off for a little longer, and then with the process of Evan repacking all of his things and moving out of Eddie’s house, the time between of availability for them had dwindled away during his final recovery days. But now they have this, and he expects it to be great. As it is, it’s the first time they’ll really get to enjoy each other’s company fully since getting back together, since Tommy is considered officially healed. At least…

“Babe?” He calls out through the house as he slips his shoes off. “Did you hear me about the movie? I think we can still get those reservations, too.” 

The house is silent, but he knows Evan’s truck is in the driveway, and briefly he wonders if he younger man decided to take a nap after getting home from his shift. A smile drifts across Tommy’s face at the idea of crawling in next to Evan in their bed. They’ve certainly had their share of post-shift naps together, both at the loft and in this house—but this would be the first one in their bed, their home. The context of that is just as exciting as dinner and a movie. 

He walks through the house, little more noise than the sound of his socks on shag carpetting and the rustle of his jeans as they brush together, until he comes around the corner of the kitchen into the bedroom and his eyes fall on a familiar, small velvet box sitting on top of the dresser. His jaw drops open slightly as panic floods through him. He isn’t sure at all how to approach this topic, but as his gaze drifts over to Evan sitting on the end of the bed, the panic flooding the middle of his chest widens and deepens. The younger man does not look excited or even nervous, but instead upset. 

It takes everything inside Tommy to reel himself in—to remind himself that when he made the choice to break up with Evan a few months back, that choice hadn’t ended well—rather it had ended with Evan at his bedside in a hospital, telling him that there wasn’t another person out there who he wanted to be his last, and that he was head over heels in love with the pilot. Given the moves they’ve made forward in their relationship since, even though his own past trauma would like to suggest that maybe Evan has changed his mind, he knows that, logically, that’s very unlikely. 

“Baby?” 

Evan’s gaze doesn’t lift, and he doesn’t move, and after a moment, Tommy hears him sniffle, and his heart sinks. He picks up the box where it’s been left on the dresser and drops it back into the sock drawer before walking across the space between the door and the bed and kneeling down in front of his boyfriend. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Evan stammers. Tommy lifts a hand to his cheek, tilts the younger man’s face up more so he can see him clearly, and Evan looks so defeated that it twists a knife in his chest. 

“No, baby, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he answers, brushing his thumb back and forth on Evan’s cheekbone. “What’s going on?” 

Evan shakes his head, tears falling down his face, and it’s the first time that Tommy realizes the younger man has been crying. And as much as he’s trying to choose logic over emotions, he knows that whatever Evan is about to tell him has been weighing on him for more than just a few hours. 

“I-…” He inhales shakily, blinking and sending more tears down his face, over the back of Tommy’s hands as the pilot stares up at him wide-eyed, full of concern. “S-should be happy.” 

“You’re not?” Tommy says carefully, still forcing himself to toe the line. Evan turns his head, leaning into the pilot’s touch, and it’s mildly calming. He wouldn’t turn into him if he wanted to break up, right? 

“W-wanna be,” Evan answers, his voice shaking. “Feels- feels like I should- I should be. Everything has- …it’s good now. Everyone is- a-and we’re-..” 

Understanding sinks down over Tommy like the start of a midmorning drizzle, dripping into him one tiny drop at a time. He’s been here before, and he knows exactly what Evan means. 

“Okay, look at me,” he answers, his tone much firmer with the realization of what’s going on. Evan’s gaze lifts, but he doesn’t look any more settled or out of pain. 

“It’s been a tough fucking year for you,” he tells the younger man. “Lightning strike, changes in sexuality, Eddie left and came back, Maddie got kidnapped, we broke up, and I almost died. Even one or two of those events is a lot.” 

Evan sniffles and tries to look away, but Tommy turns his head back toward the pilot and forces his boyfriend to keep holding his gaze. 

“Y-you bought a ring, a-and I sho-should be ecstatic-..” 

Tommy scrunches his face in response, baffled at Evan’s determination to believe he should just suck it all up and give the expected response. 

“Did you hear anything I just said,” the pilot asks. 

“I’m needy and make everything about myself,” Evan tells him. “T-the break-up, Eddie leaving, w-when I called you while Maddie was- was gone. Fuck, Tommy, the- the shooting-..” 

“You were hurting,” his boyfriend reminds him, his tone almost angry. “Needing support doesn’t mean that you’re selfish. You deserve to have people there for you when you’re struggling.” 

Evan inhales and exhales wordlessly, more tears coming down his face. There’s a mountain of a statement not being made about how Tommy has been the only person to ever tell him that, to show up for him in the dark times and bring some light along with it, to love him through his ridiculousness. 

“They- they had more important things-..” 

“And that doesn’t mean that you don’t get to hurt too,” Tommy counters. “This is not the trauma olympics.” His gaze trails over Evan, taking in his demeanor. The way he seemed to curl in on himself, almost rejecting of what Tommy was telling him. And the thing was, for all the conversations they’d had about the places they’d lacked love and support in their lives, had struggled being on their own, he’d always held some degree of faith that the family his boyfriend had created around the 118 did something to show up and support him. 

And yet. 

“I’m exhausting,” Evan mutters, and it breaks something inside Tommy. 

“You are anything but that,” Tommy tells him, his tone bordering on argumentative. “You deserve love and support. You get that, right?” When Evan doesn’t look up at him, Tommy’s hand grips just a little bit tighter against his cheek, and he bobs his head forward to drive the point home. “Right?” 

“Sure,” Evan whispers. 

Tommy shakes his head, tilting Evan’s chin up toward him again. 

“Listen to me. You deserve all of those things,” he insists. “And if everything is too much right now, then we’ll figure it out. We’ll make some phone calls, you can take some time off work-..” 

“I’ve already been out since the shooting too much-..” 

“And that’s what paid time off is for,” Tommy counters. “I know you well enough to know that you haven’t used it all. And I know Bobby well enough that he’ll make you take the time to ensure you’re taking care of yourself more than just physically.” 

Evan opens his mouth to respond, his expression letting on that he’s about to try and counter Tommy, but the older man won’t be dismissed so easily. 

“Evan.” 

His boyfriend meets his gaze, his eyes brimming with more tears. “What?” 

“We’re going to figure it out,” Tommy says softly to him. “You can rest, and put yourself first. Let the people who love you put your first.” 

Evan sniffles again, the tears in his eyes coming down his face. It takes more than a few seconds, but eventually, he nods. Tommy stands and moves into the spot next to him, still keeping one hand on his face as Evan turns his head toward him. 

“What do you want to do,” he asks softly. “Not in the grand scheme, but right this second? What can I do for you?” 

Evan gulps, his gaze low. “I’m just so tired.” 

Tommy nods. “Okay. Do you want to lay down? Can I hold you? Would that help?” 

Evan nods, and then Tommy moves them up the bed. The younger man curls up tightly against him, but it’s not like how they normally are. Instead of Evan laying half on top of him, his body is rigid at Tommy’s side, like being tightly wound is all he can do to hold himself together. 

The pilot reaches over and combs a hand through Evan’s hair, brushing his thumb against Evan’s jaw when his hand settles. He feels the wetness against his t-shirt as they lie there. 

“‘m sorry,” Evan mutters softly, tucking his face into his hand against Tommy’s chest. 

“No, baby,” the pilot answers just as quietly. “Rest, Evan. Just let go. I’m right here.” 

There’s a period of roughly two or three minutes, where the only sounds in the room is their breathing, and the occasional sniffle. And then, like a wave cresting, it makes landfall and he feels the change against his chest as the tears come fast, the sniffles turn to sobs, and the walls come down. And for all the ways he’s had to let Evan in over the past few months, this might be the first time he’s really seen the younger man break. 

Selfishly, he wants to know who ever told his boyfriend that he was selfish or exhausting for being in pain. He wants to knock their lights out. But for now, he’ll settle for being the comfort. When Evan finally gives in to uncurling, letting the weight of all of his emotions settle over them and the urge that that brings to cling tighter to Tommy, the pilot holds him tighter, speaks softer affirmations to him. 

And then eventually, after a little while, the younger man seems to settle, if for no other reason than exhaustion. Tommy loosens his grip as Evan does, but he doesn’t let go. He feels the way Evan’s breathing deepens against him, and lays quietly next to him, making a mental checklist of what they’ll need to get done over the next few days. 

The younger man doesn’t doze long. After about twenty minutes, he rouses and lifts his head, looking up at Tommy. The pilot stares back at him quietly, observing him. He practically see the way Evan wants to apologize again brimming just beneath the surface, but he doesn’t say it. And then before long, the younger man is settling against him once more, his head on the pillow right beside Tommy’s. 

“You wanted to ask me to marry you,” Evan whispers. 

Tommy inhales a deep breath. He still wasn’t entirely prepared for that conversation today. 

“I still do,” the pilot answers, looking over at him. “But—and I’m not saying this in a bad way—I’d like to table that for when you’re feeling better. For when we’re both in a better headspace to dive into all that that means.” He’s quiet briefly, letting Evan consider his words. “Is that okay?” 

He sees the way Evan’s chin trembles and the way he tries to stuff down his feelings, sniffling instead of giving in to the tears. He nods and then tilts his head against Tommy’s shoulder, and the way he exhales feels a lot to Tommy like a sigh of relief, driving his entire point home that they’ll wait until he’s in a better place. 

“I’ve got you, Evan,” he whispers before pressing a kiss to the younger man’s forehead. “We’re going to be okay. I’ve got you.” 

[kj7895]

Happy Boyfriend Day to Buck and Tommy. I love them so much. Look at my babies

[thatmexisaurusrex]

So I haven't written a lot of meta in a while for anything, but I feel the need to talk about this because I just have a lot of feelings about it.

I want to talk about the two kisses Buck and Tommy have shared on screen. What I like about the two kisses is that there's this wonderful difference between them.

The first one is the one Tommy initiated with Buck. There's this caution and care and easing that Tommy brings, partially because he doesn't know where Buck stands and he's taking a chance on this feeling. He gives Buck the opportunity to move away from the kiss, to not let Tommy guide him into that kiss.

And even when Buck kisses back, Tommy is still gentle; Tommy is soft and he lingers. Tommy soaks in that moment.

And Buck's kiss at the hospital?

Oh wow it's beautiful in a completely different way. Buck has seen this man not only come to a bachelor party Buck organized despite Tommy being on call, but Tommy coming to Chimney and Maddie's wedding at a random hospital as soon as he could after fighting a 24 hour forest fire. Buck has seen Tommy make him a priority when so many people don't do that for Buck.

But here Tommy is.

Rushing to the hospital.

Tommy probably had his coworkers drop him off in their station's firetruck. Tommy didn't even go back to his station to change, he rushed into that hospital with his entire uniform on, still covered in soot.

Tommy was there for Buck.

Because Buck is important to Tommy. Because this was important to Buck. And Tommy had promised he would be there.

And there's this joy Buck has in someone caring about him that much; to date someone who actually thinks about what's important to Buck. This person who keeps being there for him even when work makes it difficult.

And there's a confidence in Buck.

In how he feels about Tommy.

In what he wants.

These two have been going out for weeks, and you can see the difference in how Buck acts in public with his boyfriend now, even if he's not out to most of his loved ones (yet).

That's so clear in Buck's actions. Buck takes control of that kiss in a way that surprises Tommy, you can hear it in the surprised moan. Because Tommy wasn't putting any expectations on Buck, he was okay with whatever Buck could give him. He never pressured Buck.

And this is what Buck gives when he's comfortable and feels loved.

And part of Tommy's surprise must be that no one actually handles him like this. People see Tommy's size and assume that he would be the one who would initiate, who would take control.

And Tommy?

Tommy melts into that kiss. And Buck can tell and he keeps kissing Tommy like that.

And you know, people talk about how Tommy should have warned Buck to wipe the soot off his face, but honestly how would Tommy have the brain cells to do that after a rough 24 hour shift and that kiss? I bet Tommy could barely focus enough to apologize to Maddie and Chimney for being late.

Buck is also so pleased with himself. You can see that when he goes upstairs. He's been making out with that man long enough to where people are casually chatting while eating wedding cake and he is just energized.

I just really love both of these kisses.