#flight is next week and I haven’t packed yet

[timethehobo]

Him.

[freddieandflorence]

everything is moving so fast. my mom got a flight for next week and she’s coming out here to help me move

[utterlyazriel]

whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)

a/n: getting to have them be not in constant danger or emotional turmoil for one chapter? crazy. how do these goobers even flirt <3 as always, thank u for your patience and please let me know what you think!

word count: 4.4k

synopsis: Finally accepting Cassian's invitation to breakfast, Rhys offers you a proposal. You take flight for the first time since that fateful night in Exordor.

CHAPTER TWELVE :: SHRIKE (TO YOUR SHY AND GLORIOUS THORN)

As dawn breaks the next morning, rain pours.

Weather has never been a deterrent for Illyrian warriors. Cassian, Azriel, and yourself rise and head to train all the while, welcoming the extra challenge. Blades and boots swing, slicing through a thousand raindrops, sending graceful arcs of water in their wake.

From a distance, the movements so controlled, you think you might almost get mistaken as Summer soldiers, so adept in the water.

Though, as training draws to a close and you all pack inside, wings shivering from the icy sheets of rain, you steal a long glance at the two towering figures.

Their wings, like your own, make a terrifying silhouette and your matching armour glitters in blackness and rain.

With a glimmer of pride, you rapidly reconsider—there's no mistaking you for anything but what you are: soldiers of the Night.

“Breakfast?” Cassian offers, as he’s done after every one of your training sessions. He's the first to break the tired silence post-training, pulling the bulkier, unneeded armour off his chest.

It appears, despite your constant declinations, Cassian is not one to be discouraged. He still asks and he never seems put out with your answer.

That fact stirs something in you, a warm glow — his easy attempts to always include you mean more to you than he'll likely ever truly know.

You glance at Azriel beside you, silent. He’s scrubbing at his wet hair with a towel, same as yourself, and when you meet his eyes, he tilts his head an inch. If you want to, I will too.

Between training and wandering the halls occasionally, you still haven’t actually spent much time outside your room.

It's a built-in habit you've yet to shake. Fruitless exploring was an expenditure you couldn't afford to waste energy on back in the mountains.

You steal another glance at Azriel.

Friends. That's what you are now. Friends go to breakfast with one another... at least, you think they do.

Besides, eyes darting to Cassian, you have two of them now. Maybe it’s time to start breaking out of your old routine and start forging a new one.

“Alright.” you say, trying to swallow the timidness in your voice.

“Really?” Cassian goads, brows raised high, even as his eyes gleam happily at the accepted invite. A wicked grin takes over his face.

“I’ve been trying to get you to come for weeks and now Az’s here, suddenly you’re in.”

Something in you flusters at his teasing, even if you know his words has no real heat.

You’re saved from having to sputter through an answer when Cassian, forgoing using a towel, shakes his wet hair out much like a dog would.

Cold rains splatters out and you hiss, flicking a drop off the edge of your wing with distaste.

Brows raised, you say, “I’ve wonder why.”

Cassian’s shit-eating grin is his only reply.

You cut a glance to Azriel to find he’s already looking your way, a weary but amused look in his eyes, his shadows lingering around his shoulders, languid and relaxed. He’s had far more years of Cassian's nonsense than you.

Breakfast, you find, is a lot of the food Azriel had brought with him to Exordor.

Ripe, fat berries, fruits of a multitude of colours, and still warm bread fill the ochre tabletop. Jugs and flagons of different juices and the like group in the middle. You're spoiled for choice.

Back home, it would be a feast. Once upon a time, you’d have probably sneered at the display, as you had once at Azriel.

Now, you think of Rhys' words.

You think about earning and deserving.

This change is one of the harder things for you to face… but you know it’s for the best.

The table is set for three. As you sit, you ponder if Cassian’s been setting a place for you each time, never knowing if you’d say yes—and wonder more if he found it aggravating, your constant closedoffness.

A glance at him only reveals his still friendly smile. There’s not a hint of annoyance.

Right. You’re friends.

Cassian takes the seat to your left, Azriel on your right, leaving you in the middle between them. Rhys had explained the uses and limits of the magic of the House to you already and as such, you had become familiar with it fetching meals to your room.

It’s been a plain affair. You’re used to at best, tasteless, and at worst, stomach-churning food. As long as it’s nutritional, it’s on the menu.

How are you supposed to know what else there is? Even the foods Azriel had brought with him weren’t as decadent as these before you.

You find yourself waiting, watching the plates on either side of you to see what they’ll choose. The rain continues outside, a gentle din on the sides of the House.

Cassian’s plate fills first.

You watch, wide-eyed, as several hot, flat brown discs flop onto his plate, still steaming. A drizzle of something thick and sweet follows, a soft caramel colour dolloping in the middle.

It smells heavenly.

“Have you ever had pancakes?” Azriel’s quiet voice from the other side of you speaks up.

You blink, tearing your eyes off Cassian’s breakfast to Azriel and gingerly shake your head.

Pancakes. You steal another glance at the plate and find the name to be aptly fitted.

Azriel’s plate has filled itself too but with something different. There’s some kind of grain, a pottle of something pink, with cubes of different fruit littered over the top.

“Would you like to try some?”

Your eyes dart up from Azriel’s plate to his face, realising he’s still nodding to the pancakes.

You’ll admit the pancakes look far better than whatever you’ve been asking of the House. While the bread supplied was fresher than anything you’d had before, you’d hardly had the imagination to conjure up something like pancakes.

Whatever your face looks like, Azriel can seem to read the answer in it.

“Cass,” He says, jutting his chin to his friend’s plate. “Give them a pancake, will you?”

Cassian, mouth currently full, turns to Azriel with a furrow between his brow. “But—” He starts, then stops. The furrow on his face softens as he glances down at you and, without swallowing, he says exaggeratedly, “Fine. Guess we can share.”

Then he spears two pancakes on his fork and slops them onto your waiting plate.

“You like syrup?” Cassian asks.

The question means nothing to you. From behind you, Azriel shakes his head no, answering for you. From what he recalls of your meal times together, you had screwed your nose up at the too-sweet fruits, too unused to it.

“Butter?” Cassian tries again.

“I suppose.” You answer, confused as to why he’s asking.

Cassian glances up and then a small bowl of softened butter materialises before you. He picks it up and tips it onto your two pancakes with a smile. Then he resumes his eating without another word.

Still hesitant, you shoot one more glance in Azriel’s direction.

You’ve been given food before, by Azriel himself, but not quite like this. Not sharing what’s already on someone’s plate. Some smaller, younger part of you almost wants to sniffle at the abject kindness.

Azriel’s already begun eating but the motion of your head draws his eyes. The small upturn of his lips is encouragement enough. Swallowing back the thickness in your throat, you dig in.

Pancakes… are pretty life-changing.

Azriel is right, you’re not such a fan of the sickly sweet brown fluid that coats the cakes, sweet enough to make your teeth ache. But the butter, melted and velvety with the fluffy pancake— gods.

You take one bite and then quickly stuff in two or three more, just in case Cassian suddenly decides he wants them back. Cassian guffaws at your rapid motions and follows suit, stuffing his mouth full.

He glances at you, catching your eye, both of you chewing through the delicious breakfast. Cassian raises his eyebrows with a pleased, smug smile as if to say I know, right?

You smile at him, without even thinking about it, shovelling the next bite in.

It melts on your tongue. Mother, you're kicking yourself a bit as you chew the mouthful slower this time, turning over every flavour. Turning down Cassian’s invite each morning has been turning down this.

You’re a moron. There’s no doubt you’ll be asking the House for this every morning—and night even, if you’re allowed.

It occurs to you then, as you’re on your fifth bite or so, that you could’ve easily summoned your own stack on pancakes. Or either male could’ve done it for you.

But no, instead Cassian had shared from his plate.

The pancakes suddenly taste sweeter than ever.

"Ah, y/n," Rhys' satiny voice tugs your attention up, to the Male himself, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Glad to find you here."

An age-old instinct of obeying commanding warriors sends your spine straightening, your chair scraping harshly against the stone floor.

Cassian snickers good-naturedly and you spot a shadow of Azriel's disappear into his ear—resulting a loud shriek from the warrior.

"You said you wouldn't do that anymore, you bastard!" He all but hisses, leaning forward on the table to glare past you.

Azriel gives a nonchalant shrug, his hazel eyes dancing to you playfully for a quick moment. Rhys and you both watch with varied levels of amusement and boredom.

"Yes, yes, that's enough now children." Rhys comments, a sly smile teasing at his mouth as he fiddles with the cuff of his sleeve.

Cassian, in his centuries old-age, sticks his tongue out in response—then pushes back on his chair so it’s balancing on its back legs, teetering.

Rhys regards him with one bored stare before his attention turns to you, his smile fading, expression turning more serious.

"I have a proposition for you."

Your mouth dries, nerves skittering under your skin. You swallow your mouthful. "A proposition? Like... bad?"

Rhys smiles, feeling your nervousness through your thinning mental wall. He gives it a soft tap to remind you and you inhale sharply, fortifying it instantly.

"Not at all." He assures you calmly. "It's to do with... Let's call it overdue earnings."

Instinctively, your gaze seeks out Azriel to your right.

Shadows swirling his shoulders, you're surprised yet again by how easily you seem to read him with just one quick glimpse of each other. How you can suddenly feel the tangible encouragement forming within you, just behind your ribs.

He smiles, like he knows more than he says, and casts his gaze back to his breakfast.

You glance at Cassian too, maybe your closest friend now, and he simply shrugs, none the wiser.

"What is it?"

Rhys wanders further forward, leaning to rest his forearms atop one of the empty chairs at the table. His violet gaze takes in two of his Inner Circle and decides if you don't mind them hearing, he doesn't either.

Besides, it's not as if it wasn't Azriel's own idea.

"As you know, due to the backward ways in many of Illyrian warcamps, females are not seen as warriors. While many allow them to train, Exordor..."

Rhys jaw clenches tightly over the name. "It had stricter rules that I could not interfere with. Please know, that is not without immense regret."

A glimmer of night ripples across the room as Rhys hard gaze burns into the table, lost in a haze of an angry memory.

Azriel clears his throat and then the night retracts rapidly, gone without a trace after a second. Rhys lifts his head, giving it a slight shake.

"My apologies. This proposition is not about that — this is about The Blood Rite."

Your brows jump, the words out his mouth the very last ones you were expecting to hear. The Blood Rite? The cutlery in your hands suddenly seems heavier. Your wings sink an inch.

As if the mention of it made them darker, the tattoos on the tan skin of each warrior around you seem to glow more prominently.

You swallow to try clear your dry mouth.

“What about it?” You croak.

“Given your circumstances, it’s understandable why partaking in it was not an option.” Rhys begins.

You expect his tone to take on a sympathetic lilt but it does no such thing.

“Given the level of skill that both Azriel and Cassian have seen from you,” He waves a casual hand between the two warriors. “I don’t believe it’s a question of if you’d survive.”

The knowledge that they’ve been discussing you, your skill, between them without you there—normally such a thing would make you prickly.

But with what Rhys says… knowing they’re vouching for you instead, the prickly feeling washes away to an embarrassed gratitude. They’re on your side, you have to remember.

“The proposition I have for you is to receive The Blood Rite ceremonial tattoos.”

The grip on your fork loosens, the utensil sliding an inch before you catch it again, but not before it hits the edge of the table with a loud bang. You jump at the noise, wings tucking closer on instinct.

“I—” Words die in your mouth, your eyes screwing shut a moment. When you speak, it’s with a bitter resignation. “I have not completed The Blood Rite. It’s— that- I would hardly be earning it.”

Azriel makes a quiet noise of disagreement beside you, eyes still on his plate, but says nothing more.

Rhys doesn’t look surprised at your rebuttal, merely rolling back his shoulders casually.

“Perhaps, that’s one way to view it. Perhaps there are others. Regardless, your Highlord is offering it, if it’s something you decide you want.”

Cassian scoffs a laugh at his casually thrown out title and you tense, not expecting such outright disrespect.

Rhys, however, simply rolls his eyes and with a flick of his hand sends Cassian’s still teetering chair backward.

Cassian barely saves himself, jolting forward to grip the edge of the table and delivering his brother a scathing glare. Rhys grins back, feline and taunting.

“Still sure you want to be friends with them?”

Azriel’s voice is just above a whisper, words soft and curling into your ear. You turn and find, with a jolt in your chest, that he’s much closer than you’re expecting, leaning over to be closer to you.

Mother.

It’s not as if you forget how beautiful Azriel is but this close, it's impossible to ignore.

His eyelashes are dark and long, his hazel eyes, soft and honey-like. The cupids bow of his lips looks plush. You can trace a scar that carries from his chin up his cheek.

You realise you’re staring after a long moment of silence — eyes darting away, you clear your throat.

“They’re better company than some, believe me.” You say, thinking back to Exordor with a glance back at Azriel.

He’s sat back in his seat and he gives a barely noticeable roll of his eyes. “Yeah, well, that competition is hardly fierce.”

A laugh titters out of you at that — and Azriel’s shadows spring up, as if in response.

Clearing his throat, Rhys calls your attention back to the conversation at hand (now that Cassian was done attempting to pelt him with bits of pancake, which he was subsequently misting, resulting in a fantastic aroma through the kitchen).

“It’s an offer.” Rhys reiterates kindly. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t wish to but… I implore you to think it over.”

He tilts his head toward the windows in the mountain side.

“Spend the day down in Velaris and consider it. And try to consider what we talked about too, about the things we feel we deserve.”

Straightening up, he taps the chair with his knuckles, preparing to leave you be.

“Whatever you choose, I hope you know that there is no wrong answer. Tattoos or not, amongst friends you are already considered a true warrior.”

And despite how the two males on either side of you nod, solemn and truthful, it didn’t purge the feeling that welled inside you—familiar and reminiscent of keeping a secret.

You wonder if you’ll ever stop feeling like a fraud.

—

Even with back to back training, only mere hours of slumber between each session, the gleam good sleep has given you is impossible to miss.

By now, Azriel has seen dozens of early mornings with you.

Back in Exordor, you had looked different in more than one way. Beyond the grime of the mountains and your justified, cold defensiveness, it was your eyes that betrayed you. Eyes that carried a tiredness that never left.

Azriel knew the feeling well.

In the Illyrian mountains, sleep is not rest.

Sleep is a sliver of refuge, letting your aching body recharge just enough to lurch back awake after a couple restless hours. Fuel to keep you going and nothing more.

But this morning, stopping at the threshold out to the balcony, you had peered up at the rain bucketing down and frowned.

Then with a silent huff, you had rubbed the sleep from your eyes and yawned into your hand.

Azriel, watching silently from across the courtyard, felt his shadows spin up in a tizzy at the sight — and he nearly blushed scarlet as they directly disobeyed his instructions to rein themselves in, a few shooting across the courtyard to greet you.

It was the first morning he’d seen you not tired, but sleepy. Azriel couldn’t even pretend it wasn’t adorable either.

He could only hide his smile and warm cheeks with a duck of his head, praying his shadows behaved himself.

But there was no disguising the tug on the mating bond, immeasurably proud and pleased for you.

Whether you noticed it or not, he didn’t know. You’d stepped down, onto the balcony and into rain, and promptly stalked towards the weapons rack, wings held high.

It had been one of the first things Azriel had admired about you—your drive, steely and unflinching.

Even now, thrown into a new place with unfamiliar faces, tossed into a whole new life, your determination doesn’t falter.

Fighting, training, honing yourself into a living weapon—seamlessly using blades as if they’re an extension of your very self—you commit yourself to training fiercely.

But… Azriel can tell that without direction, your ambition is beginning to make you listless.

You’re getting better—that there is no doubt about. Even the slight deafness in your left ear you’ve mastered well enough that if Azriel wasn’t paying attention, he might’ve missed it.

But in Exordor, there had been a goal.

Something to measure up to, to pour your determination towards — and without it in Velaris, Azriel worries about you.

There’s unfinished business waiting for you in Exordor. Your valiant mission is not yet abandoned and if you ever deigned to ask, Azriel knows he would take you there, without hesitation.

However, things have shifted whether you seem to realise it or not.

You’re no longer the only one in your corner. You haven’t been for some months.

True, there had been the matter of your… concealed identity wedged between you and Azriel and it had been reason enough to keep your plans small. You’d explained to him once before, the aid of being unnoticeable.

You’re not anymore. And with the terror of the events in Exordor still fresh enough in his mind, it’s impossible not to fear what might happen when you eventually return.

You aren’t used to living, just for yourself. Of that being enough of a reason to live, to thrive. Azriel fears your ambition will drive you to your death, no matter how honourable.

You would fight until you physically can’t anymore against the injustices of your home.

A threatening pain splices through his chest at the very thought — of just getting you back, gaining your forgiveness, getting the smallest glimpses of your happiness— just to have it ripped away from him again.

His mate, his heart warbles terribly.

His head settled resolutely, he trails behind you to the breakfast table, mission solidified. He needs to show you that your home isn’t among the mountains anymore.

Exordor may have been your birthplace but Velaris, here — with him, something quiet whispered —was where you belonged.

He just needed to show you.

—

“Have you flown since leaving Exordor?”

At the edge of a thousand steps, it’s certainly a warranted question.

The intensity of the early morning rain has waned with the day but it still falls softly. It adds a chill to the breeze — but it’s nothing comparable to the Mother’s Kiss.

You're all taking Rhys' plan and heading down into Velaris for the day. The staircase presents itself as one option but, given the knowledge of wards, there's a clearly more favourable one. Flying.

Azriel’s eyes drift up to the tips of your wings. The sight of the puckered, scarred spaces that once held stakes is enough to inspire a jolt of fierce anger. He swallows a shudder, well aware of the sensitivity of such wings.

Noticing his stare, you shift on your feet and tuck your wings in tighter. His gaze, while unjudging, is enough to make you fidget beneath the attention.

Azriel snaps his eyes back to your face.

“I haven’t. Madja told me I could, uh,” You answer with a wave of your hand, your gaze averted to the long, winding staircase ahead. “About a couple weeks ago but…”

Shrugging, you force yourself to meet Azriel’s gaze. “Well, where would I even go?”

Azriel’s heart wilts in his chest at your words. Nothing without purpose—it's the only way you know how to live.

You’ve had no prying and relentless brothers to push you into doing things as he had. No friends to remind you to live, as well as just survive.

No flying just for the fun of it. You’ve been starved of one of Azriel’s favourite things in the world.

Even him, your first friend, had only encouraged further training. A muscle feathers in Azriel’s jaw. A misgiving he’ll make sure to rectify.

Casting his mind back to a memory from some months ago, he recalls the fervent urge he felt upon returning to Velaris — the want to show you his home from the skies.

Focusing his mind back on the present, Azriel smiles down at you, his dark curls collecting drops of waters.

“Anywhere you like.”

Cassian takes his cue, launching himself up into the sky with ease.

Azriel watches him for a moment and then prepares to follow suit, bracing his thighs and shaking out his wings.

A glance at your face reveals the hint of hesitation.

He searches within him, gripping the bond tightly, to feel for your worry. In response, your anxieties skitter along to him, revealing your heartbreaking reservations and giving them to him — unknowingly soothing you in the process.

Still, Azriel pauses and then, heart in his throat, he lays a scarred hand on your shoulder in assurance. Prays you won’t shift away from him or his touch.

You don’t. In fact, a newer expression shutters across your face, eyelashes fluttering but you hold his stare.

“You won’t fall.”

You don’t question how he can name your fear so easily.

Instead, in a brave face of vulnerability, you ask, voice smaller than you intend, “How can you be sure?”

Azriel grips the bond tighter, letting his assurances pool in the form of unwavering confidence in you. He hopes you feel it — feel it, and believe it too.

“Because you’ve never fallen before. And because,” Azriel sighs softly, an ache creeping up his throat. His voice is low, his hazel eyes earnest. "You might've changed since Exordor but they don't get this. They don't get to take it from you. It's yours."

His hands slips from your shoulder and the bond tightens in his chest, as if urging him back. Azriel ignores it and turns back to face the rainy skies ahead.

Then his boots bear down against the stone as he takes flight, cutting through the drizzle of rain to climb up into the sky. The final step, he knows, has to be taken by you alone.

It doesn’t stop the uncertain waver in Azriel’s chest at leaving you one step behind.

But his faith in you is steadfast.

And a moment later, he’s proven right to do so as an unimaginable pulse of joy shoots down the bond, molten hot.

It’s raw, unfiltered relief.

It mingles with a joy so potent that Azriel’s shadows droop against his neck, as if snuggling up to the blazing warm feeling.

He falters, dipping in altitude momentarily, before he remembers to keep his wings moving.

Through the gloom of the day, Azriel feels you before he sees you coming — though the moment you’re in view, the familiar figure of an Illyrian warrior in flight, your radiancy is all he can see.

“You were right!” You call across the sky, unable to cage the glee in your voice.

There’s an unsteadiness to your motions, adjusting to the loss of drag due to your news scars, but it does nothing to tamp your happiness. You soar towards him through the rain, twirling in an elegant barrel roll that boasts your years of flight.

And it dawns on him, the underlying motive you had admitted to that underpinned the lie you had spun.

What heart-wrenching words had you uttered to him? I just wanted to keep my wings.

Azriel thanks the Mother, the Cauldron, and every star in the sky that you get to.

“I’m only sorry it’s not a better day for it.” Azriel says as you drift to his side, raising his voice so you can hear him. Flight is noisy, even if you’re travelling idly as the pair of your are.

You fly a few metres higher and then glide down with an easy precision, grinning, your face misted from the rain.

“I think it’s perfect.” You call back. Azriel can feel it, trickling along the bond like sweetened syrup, you really mean it.

Waiting leisurely further ahead, it’s evident that Cassian’s patience is waning.

Dipping back and joining the line up, he glides alongside you with a smile that promises mischief.

“Oh, so she can fly!” He drawls, arms tucking up behind his head lazily. “But can she race?”

His brows raise in clear competition and Azriel’s about to remind you that you don’t have to entertain all of Cassian’s antics — when his brother straightens out, shouting, “Go!” and jetting off forward.

You splutter for just one second. “I don’t even know where to go-!”

The end of your sentence blurs as you take off after Cassian, not a clue where you’re going but too competitive to not rise to the challenge. Azriel grins, watching for a moment as you tuck in your wings and dive to pick up speed, nearly disappearing in the fog of the rain.

Your fierce delight streaks along the bond and it’s what Azriel follows as he takes off after you, the invisible string leading his way, glowing like a shooting star.

tags below!

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@waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco

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@viciane @astarlitsoul @mybestfriendmademe @archiveofcravings @reputaytionn-13

@bionic-donut @chessebookgirl @itseightbeats @littleblackcatinwonderland @twsssmlmaa

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i'm attempting copying n pasting tags so if you DID receive a notif about this posting please please let me know !

[xxblairexxss]

Jealousy (part 4)

Pairing : Charles Leclerc x reader

Theme : Angst / fluff

The end! Thank you for loving the short series. I think this might be my best one yet because I didn’t limit myself to include everything but it was longer than my usual ones. Apologies it long fics are not your thing!

Your week went by with no more phone calls. Charles didn’t ask for another chance to speak to you and you were so glad he didn’t because you weren’t sure if you were gonna find it appealing or irritating. Deep down, you knew there was still an enraged flame in your heart that you couldn’t ignore regardless of your feelings for him.

You stopped replying to his texts too but you still read it from the notifications bar. He would tell you about what he did on the day, would ask you if you had eaten, how was your day but none of his questions were answered. He went to Maranello right away and stayed there until the next race so you were glad you didn’t have to meet him.

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

Charles was demented with worry. He knew he was hoping too much when you unblocked his number but he never thought you would stop replying to his texts. He didn’t know what you were up to and that made him agitated.

Y/F/N has added to their story

You hadn’t unblock him on his Instagram but he would still be able to see your friend’s. He saw pictures of you on your friend’s Instagram story, all smiles and grinning ear to ear. He missed you a lot. He would stare at his phone every night before he went to sleep, anticipating your name popping up in his notification or phone call but none of it actually came. He was disappointed, of course, but he knew he deserved this.

But he still hadn’t lose you, had he?

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

You had declined Charles’s offer to join him on his private flight to Mexico because you still had things to do at work on Friday so you had to miss practice rounds. You even forced Y/F/N to come with you so you wouldn’t be left alone with Charles because you didn’t know how to act and what to say around him. As if he wasn’t your boyfriend for 2 years.

“Please come with me! Please please please!”

Y/F/N rolled her eyes and shook her head, turning her back on you to which earned her a pillow threw at her head. “No, thank you. Hey!” She then sat up and threw it back at you and chortled at the face you made.

“I need you there! I can’t be with him alone!”

“He was your boyfriend for 2 years. Why are you acting as if you haven’t done anything nasty with him.” You stopped peeking inside your closet and glared at her.

“That was so unrelated.”

“You get what I mean! If you don’t want to be left alone then just ignore him! Plus, he’s gonna be so busy he won’t have time to chase after you.” Y/F/N shook her head at the navy top you showed her and you placed it back into the rows of clothes.

“I know but he even asked me to go to the after party. You know what happened the last time I went to a social event.” You picked another top and earned a yes from Y/F/N so you folded it into your small luggage.

“There’s a party?” You heard her sounded intrigued. You should have known this better. She would never say no to parties. The conversations could have been a plain sailing one if only you mentioned this topic first.

“Yeah. There’ll be hot guys everywhere. It’s a shame you couldn’t come.” You packed another pair of pants and saw in the corner of your eyes Y/F/N scrammed away, leaving the room.

“Wait for me!”

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You arrived at the hotel early in the morning and Charles had arranged everything. Y/F/N was passed out as soon as you guys checked in while you immediately gotten ready to go to the paddock before the qualifying round started.

Once you arrived, there were still a lot of people waiting at the entrance meanwhile the paddock was already packed with a few interviews being done at every spots. You only took a few steps when you heard your phone rang.

“Hi.”

You looked up from your phone and saw your boyfriend, or ex boyfriend, whichever you preferred walking towards you and you hated yourself for feeling this way. You felt like a kid who bumped into their crush at a school hallway. That silly, giddy with excitement as if it was your first time meeting him. Your heart was throbbing so loud that if he told you he could hear your heartbeat, you would have believed him right away. The butterflies in your stomach went wild and it made your knees weak. You smiled back at him and he took your hand in his, clasping it as he turned and walked back to the entrance. The sound of the fans around the paddock area screaming his name turned into a mumble as you kept your eyes on his back.

You were so glad you didn’t get to see and talk to him that much throughout the rest of the qualifying round. You didn’t even stay until the end though he offered you a ride back to the hotel.

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“How was it?”

“It was okay?”

Y/F/N mocked your face and you squinted your eyes at her. “What?”

“Tell me more! Did he say anything? Did he hug you? Tried to kiss you maybe?”

“No! He just held my hand. It’s not like he had any free time to even talk about us.” You took off your earrings and tied your hair in a bun.

“Such an asshole, isn’t he? When is he gonna apologise? Is he even gonna say sorry? Does he know how to say sorry?” You heard her blabbered with a mouth full of chips.

“We are not talking about this anymore. I’m gonna take a bath.”

As you started shampooing your roots, you heard the doorbell ring and thought it was just another room service that your best friend might had ordered.

“Hi, can I talk to Y/N?”

“She’s busy. We’re busy.” Y/F/N looked at the guy up and down and was going to close the door on him when he propelled it back.

“Wait! Please, I just want to give her something.”

Y/F/N stretched her arm forward and Charles blinked in confusion. “Give it to me. I’ll pass it to her.”

“Can I see her instead?”

“No. Either you pass it to me to you can go back to your room.” She replied sternly to which made him obediently handed the paper bags to her and walked away.

“Look,” Charles stopped in his trail when he heard her broke the silence.

“I’m not mad at you. Wait, I am mad at you. I’m pissed off, actually. But as much as I want her to leave your ass, she still loves you and I think that’s more than enough confirmation you need. I’ll give you a space to talk to her tomorrow so do whatever you need to do.” Charles was going to say something but the door slammed on his face faster than he could even blink.

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“Who was that? Did you order room service?” You walked out the bathroom in robes with wet hair, gasping when you saw boxes of pizza and doughnuts on the coffee table. “This is a lot! When did you buy them? Oh, this is my favourite!”

“I didn’t. The delivery guy came all the way to our room to deliver these.” You saw the displeased face on her and frowned in confusion.

“He also left you that. I don’t know what you told him but you could open a Dior pop-up shop with those stuffs.”

You looked to the side and saw a Dior paper bag full of different shades of the new lip gloss. It was the one you briefly mentioned in your last phone call with him. There was also a small note written on it. “I might forgot or had missed you said your favourite shade during our last call so I got them all. And I don’t think you have eaten anything after the qualifying round today so enjoy the food.”

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The race ended with Charles getting P3, letting him to get the podium spot again after missing it a few races. Y/F/N has asked you to head back early because she needed hours to make sure she looked hot to flirt all the guys at the afterparty. It always made you wonder how both of you ended up being best friends even with all those contrasts in your personalities.

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You arrived with Y/F/N a few minutes late so it was already crowded with people. As much as it made you feel nervous, Y/F/N was thrilled.

“You look beautiful, angel.”

“Oh?” You turned around and was greeted with Charles, hands in his pocket, a few steps away from you. You opened your mouth to reply to the compliment, but Y/F/N cut you off.

“Right? Too beautiful to be treated like a shit.”

You nudged her on her waist and glowered. “Okay, this is not the time!”

“I’m off! Charles, she’s yours.” Y/F/N fixed your hair before leaving both of you, too fast that you couldn’t even catch her arm to force her to stay with you.

“Thank you..” You awkwardly smiled, your hands were clasp together, trying not to look at his green eyes that much.

“Thank you?”

“For yesterday. You really didn’t have to, but , thank you.”

“Oh, it’s nothing compared to what you actually deserved. Anyway, do you want to—“ Charles turned around and saw one of his friends calling out to him. You looked at the source of the voice and saw his group of friends standing at the end of the room.

“You should go with them.”

“No, come with me.” He was going to seize your hand when you stepped back in defence.

“It’s fine, I’ll be somewhere else.”

“Y/F/N will kill me if she finds you alone. I know you hate me and you don’t want to be left alone with me but stay with me this time. Please?”

You felt his hand gently taking yours in his as he looked into your eyes, as if he was asking for consent and you gave in. Sure, you despised him a lot but the moment he held your hand, feeling his thumb stroking your knuckles, it reminded you that he had always been your solace in life. It took everything in you to not embrace him right there and then.

He introduced you to the rest of the groups and immediately engaged in a full conversations. His hand never left yours. You were just standing by his side, playing around with your heels when you were greeted with Y/F/N and a few people with her. She would always brought her group of friends with you at any party just to introduce you, her best friends with her new friends. Charles turned around when he felt you accidentally tugged on his hand.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You were so glad for Y/F/N and was simply amazed with her social skills. Though you had a hard time engaging in a conversation and preferred to just listened, she kept on pulling you into the conversation by constantly asking you series of questions.

“That’s the worse. Right, Y/N?”

“Isn’t Y/N so pretty? I did her hair.”

“Y/N is very good at mix and match her clothes. Right, Y/N? But she still needed my help.”

Throughout the conversations, Charles still kept your hand in his but then it got uncomfortable when your hand started sweating so you ended up holding his pinky finger, occasionally fiddled with his fingers since you didn’t have your ring on. You thought he would pull away but he didn’t. He didn’t even budge.

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“Do you wanna go back to the hotel?”

“Can we?”

“Of course, angel. Let’s go.”

Charles had took you back to the hotel but it was only when you had arrived in front of your room when you realised you didn’t have your access card with you. He had asked you to stay in his room first until Y/F/N called.

It had been a while since the last time you were with him in a small space. As soon as you walked in, you were greeted with his smell, the mixture of scent between the different collection of his perfumes, the smell of his shower gels it was all too overwhelming it made your eyes teared up instantly.

“Sit down, silly. Why are you standing?”

You let out a sob, looking down and he stoop down to look at your face, sounding all worried and anxious. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Y/N?”

You continued to sob uncontrollably and he enfolded you in his arms, one hand around the back of your head and another one wrapped on your waist. “It’s okay, angel. I got you.”

“I hate you.”

His arms around your figure tighten when your body shook and he planted a kiss on the side of your head. “It’s okay, I hate myself too.”

“But I miss you so much, I miss your touch, your kiss, your voice, everything about you. I tried so hard to ignore you because maybe it would be easier for me to end everything, to end us but it was so hard.” The silent tears kept on running down your cheeks that you were so sure his shirt was already soaked.

Charles’s blood ran cold when you mentioned about ending things. Both of you had always been so optimistic with the relationship. You would always talked about how you would grow old together and he would have to assure you that he would always find you beautiful or you would have sulk.

He pulled away and crouched down to hold your cheeks in his hands and level his eyes with yours. “No, please, no. Please don’t leave me. Please, angel. I know I fucked up but give me another chance to be better. To fix this. I know it makes me selfish but I can’t see you with anyone else. Please.”

You didn’t reply but kept on wiping your eyes with the back of your hand, harshly, because of how frustrating everything was.

“I’ll kneel down if you want. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I can’t lose you. I really, really can’t.” His eyes were red from holding his tears and it smashed your heart. He looked so broken with compunction it made you cry even more.

“I’m sorry for what I did. I should have listened to you. I just got so mad when I saw you with other guys when I should have known better. I was too blinded with jealousy.” He took a shaky breath and wrapped you back in his arms so you wouldn’t see him cry.

“And when I saw what happened to you that night, I was just so furious at myself for being so stupid and allowing that to happen to you so I just blew up at you when all you needed was just my commiseration and assurance.” He left a few lingering kisses to the crown of your head and mumbled against your hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, angel.”

“Do you miss me?”

You felt his chest quivered as he tittered to your silly question. Had you got a glimpse of his life during the absence of you, you would have seen how miserable he actually was. “I don’t think the words I miss you is enough to express how much I long for you.”

You were no longer hugging his middle but your body was flushed against him as you stroke his cheek, feeling it damp from the tears that he tried to hide from you.

His arms left your waist briefly as he unhooked the necklace around his neck, pulling the end of it so the ring would slip out into his palm. “Do you… accept my apology?”

“I’ll think about it.” You giggled when he looked taken aback. “You are forgiven, Charles.”

“Can I put this back on you?” He looked nervous, as if he was going through every words he was about to say, too scared if you would slip off his fingers again.

“Are you proposing to me?”

“Not yet but I will. Mark my words.” He slid the ring back into your ring finger and lifted your hand to peck on it. Your arms circled around his neck as he locked you in his embrace. Your face was just an inch away from him that your nose would collide into his every time you moved your head a little. “I love you, Y/N.”

“And I love you more, Charles.” He dipped his head down and pressed his lips to yours, his arms cinching you to him as you kissed him back, your hands feeling the silken strands of his hair against your fingers.

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“Hello?” Charles squinted his eyes and put the phone to his ear, slightly whispering to not wake up the sleeping beauty in his arms.

“Charles? Do you happened to know where Y/N is? I just realised she’s not in the room.”

He laid his head back on the pillow and yawned. “Go to sleep, Y/F/N.”

“Where’s Y/N, you dick!”

“My girlfriend’s here with me. All safe and sound. You don’t have to worry.” His hand ran up and down against your back,when he felt you stirred on his chest.

“Oh, okay. I thought she was kidnapped or something. Break her heart again and I’ll make sure you won’t get any podium in your entire career. I mean it.”

You tilted your head a little to look at him, your eyes barely open. “Who was it?”

“It was just your guardian angel making sure I don’t fuck things up again. Let’s go back to sleep, baby.”

✧.* tags! @i83andrew @cltrlne @karmabyfernando @ohthemisssery @buendiabebeta @needtokeepfeelingsincheck @ironmaiden1313 @teenagedreams-cl @sheslikeacurse @love4lando @charli123456789 @ru-kru @httpspedri26 @honey6578 @sealsu @shyartisanvoidwagon @changetyre @aundercover

Let me know if you would like to be removed or to be added in the tag list!

[runnning-outof-time]

Beach Day | Modern!Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: no - but encouraged by @holacia3 with this ask

Pairing: Modern!Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: (Y/N) manages to pull Tommy out of the office so that they can go on a trip. Once at their destination, they waste no time and have a much needed beach day. Or: Tommy forgets everything the second he sees (Y/N) wearing his shirt.

Warnings: language, some suggestive sentences

Word Count: 3332

A/N: this one’s probably going to flop, but I’m happy that I managed to finish it amidst the bout of writer’s block I’ve been experiencing. It was the other option on the poll I ran a few weeks ago. I haven’t got to take a trip to the beach this summer, so I decided to write about it instead. Enjoy! :)

A/N 2: this will be the last story posted in July … I’m going on a trip with my family next week and most likely won’t have any major time to write the other requests. I’m hoping that maybe I’ll be able to write and share some of the blurbs that I’ve got in my asks, but big stories have been halted until August.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Comment/Message me if you’d like to be tagged in future stories like this one!

"...and you can't argue with me because I've already packed your bags," (Y/N) ended her pitch in an assured tone, setting her confident gaze on her fiancé, who was sitting across from her...at his desk, of course.

Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but the door to the office opening stopped him. Both he and (Y/N) looked over to it to find Polly entering the room. "I'm going to need you to hand over your diary," she said, walking right over to the desk, extending her hand towards her nephew when she stopped in front of it.

"I'm guessing you got her in on this?" Tommy asked (Y/N), his eyebrows raised as he looked between both women.

"I did," (Y/N) nodded in an assured manner, a tight-lipped grin present on her face, "and you're not getting out of it."

"Everything's been handled. Go take a break, Thomas," Polly added, moving her fingers then to remind him that she was going to need his diary.

"So it's been settled then, eh?" he looked at (Y/N) again.

"It has been," she answered him, a victorious smile present on her face, "give her the diary, Tommy."

"If I must," he sighed dramatically as he picked it up from his desk and handed it over to his aunt, making a big deal over it. Inside he was glad that (Y/N) had planned this out...he'd been working tirelessly on the business' latest expansion and hardly had a moment to breathe, but yet he wasn't going to stop and take one for himself. (Y/N) realized that and took it upon herself to plan the forced holiday.

"You must," (Y/N) stayed stern on her point, although the smile she was wearing was full on her face now. Tommy took one more look at his fiancée and couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face. There was not a doubt in his mind that he was ready to relax with her.

——

By that time the next day, Tommy and (Y/N) found themselves checked into a private resort that sat right off of a beautiful beach.

After unpacking their luggage, Tommy made his way out to the living area of the suite they were staying in with the intention of checking in on how things were back at home. He was thankful that this resort had high-speed internet, because he couldn't stand to be disconnected for too long. The flight to the resort was already pushing the limits...nothing would connect in that damned airport.

It seemed as though (Y/N) had other ideas of what they should be doing next. She exited the bedroom the second he'd gotten comfortable on one of the couches. Taking one look at Tommy made her audibly sigh and drop her hand to hit against her thigh, the sound of it making him look up from the screen.

He immediately noted that she had changed. Her comfortable airport attire had been switched for a swimsuit and a loose, practically see through dress that she was using as a cover-up. A pair of sunglasses rested atop her head and flip-flops covered her feet. How she managed to get changed so fast completely perplexed him.

"You're back to thinking of work already?" she commented, a bit of an exasperated look filling her features.

"You know how I like to check on things," he stated, defending himself as he shrugged his shoulders slightly.

"I do know, but we're on holiday, Tommy," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but we just got here."

"Yeah...and I'm already ready to go down to the beach."

"I noticed that."

"Tommy..." (Y/N) sighed, a frown forming on her lips. She held her gaze on him for a moment, watching and waiting for him to say something, before continuing to speak when silence persisted. "I'm going to throw your bloody phone in the ocean if this is how this week's going to play out," she threatened him, her voice holding a more serious tone than it had before.

"Just let me do it now," he bargained with her, "I didn't know we were going to get into things so soon."

(Y/N) pursed her lips as she thought about his suggestion. She finally responded after letting silence hang in the air for a few moments, "fine. You can do it now, but please don't let it become a habit, ok? This was meant to take you away from work," she laid out her stipulations.

"Fair enough. I'll curb it for the rest of the week," he agreed to her counter-offer, nodding his head to seal the deal.

"Good," she nodded in response to his statement. A few beats of silence passed before she spoke again, "I'm going to go down to the pool and wait for you, ok?" she told him her plan.

"Ok," he agreed, watching her as she walked over to where he was sitting. "Look beautiful, baby," he couldn't resist giving her a compliment, his eyes running over her body.

"Thanks, Tommy," she smiled at him, her stomach filling with butterflies as she leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. "Don't be up here too long, hmm?" she mumbled against his lips after pulling away.

"I won't," he promised her, feeling her smile against his lips before they shared one more kiss. (Y/N) stood upright again, smiling and nodding at him once more before she moved back over the island that broke up the kitchen and living space.

"You know where to find me," she told him while making sure that her tote bag was filled with the essentials: beach towel, sun tan lotion, hotel room key, and, of course, her latest book. She looked over to him, watching as he nodded one last time, before she made her way to the door of the suite.

There weren't many people sitting by the pool, so (Y/N) was able to find an open lounge pretty quickly. She set her bag down next to the chair and then relaxed back against it. The ocean's waves could be heard from where she was, and the calming sound of them made her shut her eyes and take a deep breath. It was good to finally be able to take some time and actually relax.

As a senior member of the Shelby Company Ltd.'s marketing team, she was working just as much as Tommy was. Always coming up with new ways of advertising; always keeping up with the different avenues Tommy was taking the company down. It was tedious and time consuming, sure, but she wouldn't have it any other way...the job was how she met her fiancé, three years ago.

With both of their busy schedules, neither really had the time to take a moment and relax...until (Y/N) made a point to now. She was thankful for this trip, and she was sure that Tommy was, too.

Some time passed as she sat, relaxing on the pool lounge. She wasn't sure how long she'd been out there; she wasn't really keeping time as she switched between laying with her eyes closed and watching the other people meander about the pool area.

Luckily she was doing some people watching when Tommy came walking down the stairs and into the pool area of the resort. She spotted him as he was descending the steps, and immediately noticed that he'd changed into his beachwear. The white t-shirt and jeans he'd worn while traveling was now swapped for a pair of gray board shorts and a baby blue linen button down shirt. She couldn't help but stare at him as he walked across the area to get to where she was lounging.

"Ready to go down to the water?" he asked as he stopped in front of her lounge.

"I see you're finally finished with your work," (Y/N) commented, pulling her sunglasses down slightly to peer up at him.

He chuckled at her statement, shaking his head slightly as he looked out to the ocean, "yeah, and it's finished for the rest of the trip."

"If you say so," she brushed off the topic as she sat up on the lounge, collecting her bag and making sure that she had everything she'd come down with. "Let's go down to the beach," she said with a smile as she stood next to him. Tommy nodded his head before allowing her to lead the way to the gate that separated the pool area from the private beach that the resort offered.

The beach was beautiful. The sand was soft, and the breeze coming off of the waves made the hot rays of the sun not burn so bad. One of the perks of the resort having a private beach was the fact that there weren't many people inhabiting it.

(Y/N) and Tommy quickly found a spot to set their things down. (Y/N) made sure that the beach blanket Tommy had brought with him (because she'd forgotten it in the room) was laid out underneath one of the umbrellas the resort had set up. She set the bag down on it before kicking off her flip-flops and lifting the cover-up from her body.

"Let's go down to the water," she excitedly said, flashing a look in Tommy's direction before she took off towards the waves.

"You're not even gonna wait for me," he responded, moreso to himself than anyone, a smile forming on his face as he shook his head. He could easily tell how much she was already enjoying this holiday, and he was so thankful that she'd planned it for them. It took him a few moments to undo his button down and set it into the bag before he too kicked off his flip-flops and began walking down to the water.

He approached (Y/N), who was standing facing the waves, and wasted no time wrapping his arms around her midsection. His actions made her shriek at first, but she sunk into his embrace in seconds. "Isn't it beautiful?" she asked him, swaying slightly along with him.

"It is," he mused, resting the side of his head against hers as they looked out at the waves. "The water's not too cold either."

"It's not," she agreed, her hands coming up to sit on his forearms, "let's go in," she said then, tapping his arms to let him know she wanted to be released. He obliged, and she took his hand to lead him out deeper in the water.

They made their way out to where the water reached their waists, stopping there even though Tommy thought that they could go out a little bit further. (Y/N) protested his suggestion, telling him that 'things might eat us if we go any further'. Tommy listened to his fianceé's statement and stayed where they were. They spent a good amount of time in the water, switching from swimming around, to floating with the waves, to (Y/N)'s personal favorite: hanging onto Tommy like he was a tree and she was a koala.

At least an hour of them spending time in the water had to have passed before Tommy finally decided to start heading towards the shore. His movement, of course, didn't go unnoticed. "You're leaving me?" (Y/N) questioned after she saw him take a few steps backwards. She was enjoying herself in the water and had had no plans of leaving it any time soon.

"I think I'm ready to get out of the water," he answered with the obvious.

"We've not been in here long though," she pouted.

"I need to go sit for a minute, love. I'll be just up there," he told her, motioning to where their things were. (Y/N)'s pout didn't subside, but she nodded and allowed him to leave the waves.

She watched him walk up the beach and sit down on the blanket they'd laid out. Her eyes lingered for a few moments before she went back to floating on the waves.

It wasn't long before (Y/N) was exiting the water and walking up to where Tommy had made himself comfortable. It just wasn't the same wading in the waves alone. She wanted to spend as much time with Tommy as she possibly could. A sight - that she honestly wished she'd be surprised to see - was waiting for her at the blanket though.

"I thought you said you'd ditch the work while we're here?" she commented as she stopped in front of Tommy, who had his face buried in his smartphone as he tapped away at the screen.

Her voice made him quickly look up, a surprised expression forming on his face as he noticed she was right in front of him. "I was just checking a few things," he told her, holding his hands up in surrender, his now locked phone present in one of them.

"Mm-hmm," (Y/N) shook her head as she moved over to where the bag was sitting so that she could grab a towel and dry off, "you do know the ocean's right there, right? I could honestly take that phone and give it a good chuck," she stated, making sure her body was dry.

"You wouldn't," Tommy responded, a slight tone present in his voice, showing that he was testing the waters.

"I just might," she quipped back, a grin on her face as she dropped the towel back into the bag.

Before she could move to sit next to him, light blue fabric caught her eye. She instantly recognized it as the linen button down Tommy was previously wearing. She picked it up without a second thought, draping it over her shoulders and slipping her arms through the holes. It covered her swimsuit clad body immediately and she was grateful for the soft, cool fabric on her otherwise warm skin. She'd just finished rolling the sleeves up to her elbows when she finally felt Tommy's eyes on her.

Tommy had been watching her from the second she came back to the blanket. His phone was quickly forgotten as he watched her dry off and then grab the shirt from the bag. Sure, she had her own cover-up, but he was so damn happy that she'd chosen to slip his shirt on over her body. Something about her wearing his clothes just got him going. Just when he thought she couldn't get any more beautiful, she went ahead and did something like this. He couldn't help but let his eyes travel up and down her frame.

(Y/N)'s eyes finally found his when he found her face once more, and she couldn't stop the butterflies from fluttering in her stomach as she noticed the look he was giving her. She wanted to make a comment, but it died in her throat as she just about melted under his stare.

"C'mere," Tommy finally spoke, nodding his head to the side as a non-verbal addition to his statement. She grinned at him and happily followed his direction, moving over to where he was sitting.

He brought his knees up and opened his legs slightly, offering her the perfect spot to sit down in; one that she quickly fell into. She easily got comfortable sitting between his legs; her back rested against his chest. Tommy wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her, pulling her even closer to his body as he leant over and began pressing kisses to the side of her neck.

"Tommy, stop!" she exclaimed through her giggles, finally trying to squirm away from his lips as his actions quickly became ticklish. He listened to her and stopped his kisses, but he didn't dare loosen up the grip that he had on her.

It was easy for his hands to find their way onto her body, being that she'd left the shirt open, and he couldn't help but let them roam her figure. He took his time, feeling every curve as he nestled his face into her neck; breathing in the sweet smell of her skin mixed with the sunshine that had been kissing it since they exited the hotel room. (Y/N) had practically melted into his body, absolutely loving the feeling of his hands as they traced her skin.

She waited until his hands found their resting spot on the sides of her waist, his arms crossed over her stomach, to finally speak again: "I see that I've got your mind off of work now," she said with a grin, turning her head so that she could see his face out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh you most certainly have," he answered, a grin laced into his words, "look so fuckin' beautiful in my things...always, baby," he mumbled against the skin of her cheek before he kissed it.

The butterflies returned as she heard what he had to say, and she couldn't stop herself from turning in his arms even more so that she could press her lips to his in a much needed kiss. "Love you, Tommy," she mumbled against them, smiling as he kissed her again, this kiss holding more emotion than the last. "I can't wait for the rest of this week with you," she said once they'd finally pulled away from each other. She was now sitting with her body turned more towards him, so she was able to look at him head on. She couldn't stop her cheeks from heating up as she caught the look of total adoration in his eyes.

"If this is a preview of what's to come..." he trailed off, a grin forming on his face as his eyes danced over her figure once more, "I already know that this trip is going to be one that's hard to top."

His cheeky comment that was accompanied by a rather suggestive glance, made (Y/N) gasp, and she couldn't help but roll her eyes and shake her head as she tried to distract herself from how his words actually made her feel. Why did there have to be other people present on this beach?! She had to look towards the ocean for a few moments to re-center herself from the look that was making her wonder what they could get away with out here.

A few moments had passed before she felt the sharp snap of her swimsuit's strap against her skin. "Tommy!" she shrieked at the sensation, her eyes snapping back onto him to see that a smug grin was now present on his face. He tried, and failed, to feign innocence before his expression dissolved into a grin and chuckles. "I can't believe you," she shook her head, gently pressing on his shoulders for him to get the hint to lay back on the blanket.

She wasted no time in pressing her lips to his when he did lay down, and he made a mental note to do things such as that more often if this was going to be how she responded to it.

After sharing a flurry of kisses, (Y/N) rested her head against his chest, not caring about the shine of sweat that was present due to the heat of the sun that was engulfing them. She was thankful for the shade that their umbrella was providing.

Tommy wrapped his arms around the small of her back underneath the shirt of his that she was still wearing, effectively holding her close to him...like she was going to be moving any time soon. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the serenity that was surrounding them; not thinking about anything but the beautiful woman laying with him.

Like he'd said before: if this was a preview of how the week was going to go, this was most definitely going to be a tough trip to top.

Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @rangerelik @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @itscheybaby @gypsy-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @raincoffeeandfandoms @dragons-are-my-favorite @acewritesfics @forgottenpeakywriter @cljordan-imperium @areyenotfondofmelobster @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @iambored24601 @shaddixlife

MASTERLIST

[pedroshotwifey]

To The Flame chapter nine

Series masterlist

Pairing: Dark Javier Peña x Fem!reader

Chapter word count: 2.1k

Chapter tags/warnings: fluff, angst, manipulation, anxiety

Chapter summary: Making this move is going to be tougher than you thought...

A/N: Hey babes! Sorry for the short chapter, but I'm super excited because after this, things are going to get real dark real quick. We can really see some of the first big bits of manipulation here. I already have so many deliciously dark scenes written, and I can't wait to share!

****

The next couple of days are chaotic, full of making arrangements for flights, organizing through all of your possessions, and figuring out what bills need to be discontinued. It’s a lot to handle, but Javi takes it in stride, making sure you don’t have too much to worry about. 

He handles most of the interactions and arrangements when he’s not working, leaving you to get the little things done. Even though you’re not tasked with much, it’s still extra stressful to deal with after just having moved a few weeks prior.

You barely have any time together since Javi’s running around trying to get everything done in time, so you savor the moments when your schedules actually align. It’s mostly at night, after he gets home, and the two of you will eat dinner together and then do whatever you have the energy for. 

Today’s the first day he’s been given off since he found out about the promotion, and if everything goes according to plan, he should be off until the move. The two of you have gotten everything you’d needed to do today knocked off the list, and decided that you deserve a bit to relax instead of more packing. 

You both sat and watched TV for the better half of the day, all the fans on and the windows open in an attempt to cool off. The house is fucking sweltering thanks to having to cancel the A/C. It’s one of the hottest days you’ve had all year, because that figures. 

Both you and Javi have peeled off your shirts, leaving you in your bra and shorts, and him in his usual jeans. Despite the lingering looks thrown each other’s way, you both know it’s too hot to engage in celebratory activities right now. 

Javi’s on the phone in the living room while you prep some sandwiches for lunch to use the rest of what you have in the fridge. It’s likely that the next few days will be filled with an ungodly amount of fast food and diners. 

You finish putting the sandwiches together and slip back into the living room with two plates, handing one to Javi as he hangs it back up on the reciever. 

“Here you go baby.” 

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Javi smiles at you. 

You take a seat next to him on the couch and the two of you eat in silence, too tired to have much to say. You’re both off in your own worlds, you thinking about what you have left on your checklist; sort through clothes, pack pictures, get the dishes organized, call your sister. 

You stop on that one, resisting the urge to cringe. You haven’t called her since you moved, and she has no way of getting to you. You feel like a coward but you almost don’t want to face her. You’ve done nothing wrong, and yet you almost feel like you’d abandoned her and moved on. 

You know she wouldn’t think that, but it’s still a nagging concern in the back of your mind. What would you even say? Just tell her that you’re moving? You don’t know your address for Columbia yet, but the least you could do is let her know what’s going on. 

You finish your sandwich and sigh, making Javi glance your way. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” 

“Yeah, just tired,” you tell him after a second, deciding you don’t really want to explain the way your entire thought process just went. 

“I’m sorry, baby. We could take a nap if you want?” 

You smile at him. “ I Might have to take you up on that in a minute.” 

You gesture for his empty plate and he hands it to you, offering to do the dishes instead. You, of course, shoot him down. It doesn’t take you long, but you’re able to convince yourself to bite the bullet as you’re sticking the plates in the drying rack. 

You walk into the hall with the phone, drying your hands on your shorts as you go. Javi’s brows furrow as he watches you pick it up. 

“What are you doing?” 

You pause on dialing and look up at him to where he’s still sat on the couch. 

“I’m going to try to get a hold of my sister to tell her we’re moving.” 

Javi sits up a bit, suddenly more energetic than he has been all day. “You can do that later, can’t you? Come see me.” He flips his palm up and reaches for you the tiniest bit. You smile warmly at him. 

“Just give me one second, it’ll be quick,” you tell him. He frowns. 

“I’ll be quick too. Just a kiss?” He smiles hopefully up at you and you melt a bit before giving in. 

“Alright, just a kiss, no more, you bad man,” you laugh at him as his smile widens the closer you get. 

You lean down to meet his lips, and then you’re being pulled forward, giggling as you land in his lap. His mouth immediately finds yours as he pulls you into him, trapping your body against his. 

“Baby,” you laugh, trying to pull away. “I’ve got to call her!” 

Javi hums to signify that he heard you, but doesn’t let up from the sloppy kisses he’s planting on your neck and chest. You can’t help the small moan that slips as he sucks on a particularly sensitive spot. 

“M, Javi, I’m being serious honey,” you try again. “I need to get in touch with her before they cut off our service.” You try to push yourself up, but his arms tangle more tightly around you. 

“Javi, quit,” you’re not joking around anymore. You’re a little concerned that the service is going to be cut off sometime today, since it was the day you were supposed to pay for it. You’ve already put off calling your sister for too long just out of nerves, and now you don’t want to miss your chance. 

You push against him, trying to pry his arms away, and this, combined with the seriousness ebbing into your tone, finally catches his attention. He looks up at you, a slight pout on his full lips. 

“I just need to let her know,” you say, waiting for him to loosen his grip, but he only sighs. 

“Honestly, I don’t think that’s a good idea, sweetheart,” he admits, looking at you with genuine concern. 

You frown, a bit taken aback. 

“What do you mean?” 

He sighs again and looks down past you, almost like he’s getting ready to explain something to a small child. You don’t like the way it makes you feel like such. You’ve noticed recently that he has a tendency to make you feel like a kid, though you don’t think it’s intentional. The age gap definitely doesn’t help either. It makes you worry sometimes that you’re too immature for him, even though you know you’re not in the slightest. 

“I don’t think you should tell anyone you’re leaving,” he explains. 

“What? Why? She’s my sister, she deserves to know.” You have no idea where this is coming from. You’ve told him about your relationship with your sister, how it’s nothing like your connection with your parents. 

“Can you really trust her not to tell your parents though? Or them to not listen in? They don’t need to know your address.”

You shift uncomfortably in his lap, getting agitated with his protests. 

“Javi, I’ll literally be in a different country, I don’t think it matters even if they do.” 

His lips press into a thin line and breathes deeply through his nose. He unwraps his arms from around you to place his hands on your hips, holding you steady as he looks back into your eyes. 

“Honestly, sweetheart, it’s my job. My superiors want me to limit who knows our address, especially if it’s not someone we can completely trust.” 

Your stomach sinks at this. It makes sense, and you don’t want to do anything that could jeopardize his position, but leaving your sister with no explanation? She’s done nothing to deserve that. 

“But I–” 

He cuts you off with a pointed stare, his jaw ticking slightly. 

“I’m not asking for much here. It’s just one thing. You really can’t do that?” 

Your ears heat with shame as you swallow down bile rising into your mouth. You cast your gaze down so you don’t have to look at him with your embarrassment. You’re being selfish again, and you both know it.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t think,” you apologize quietly through the lump in your throat. 

Javi’s hand comes to your chin, raising your eyes back to his and seeing the sheen in them. He tuts sympathetically and cradles your head to his chest, petting your hair in a soothing motion. 

“I know it’s hard, honey. I’m sorry it has to be like this.” 

You nod into his shirt, a tear slipping down your cheek despite your efforts to keep them in. You feel extremely overwhelmed all of a sudden. 

He hushes you and lets you cry silently into his chest, whispering encouragement as he rocks you gently. 

“You’ll be okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” 

And you know you will be, it just doesn’t seem like it right now. 

*****

You have pretty much everything else packed within the next few days. It was honestly miserable having to put everything away after you’d just put it out, both in a physical and emotional sense. You don’t know how many times you had to remind yourself that you were doing this for Javi, that he deserved it. 

That fact definitely softened the blow, but not enough so that the sadness was completely snuffed. And now knowing that you’ll have to pretty much cut contact with your sister, who is also your only friend, it’s been a hard pill to swallow. It’s going to be hard leaving everything behind, but you’re willing to do it for your husband. Hell, he’s the one that got you here in the first place—it’s the least you could do. 

You leave for Columbia tomorrow, most of your stuff already in the process of being moved to the apartment Javi was assigned to. Well, most of the stuff you were able to move anyway. You’ve had to pick and choose what you want to bring with you, and what needs to stay at the old house for storage. The apartment isn’t very large, so there’s no way to take everything. Another thing that saddens you. 

You’d picked through all of your clothes and decided to put all your dresses into a box for storage and take everything else. There’s no sense in bringing them since you’ll likely not have a need for them. There’s only a couple that you stuffed in with everything else, just in case. You’re also bringing your books, some photos, and some sentimental things from your childhood. 

Javi’s bringing about the same. Just his everyday clothes, a suit or two, and some of his personal items. It all got loaded onto a little trailer, and Javi took it either to the old house or to the airport. 

You’re left now with just the bare minimum in the house. A few kitchen items, the couch that you won’t be able to move, and the mattress that you’ll be taking tomorrow. You’re both laying on that now, you with a book in your hand, and Javi reading through some paperwork. 

He received his assignments a couple of days ago, and he’s been looking through to memorize most of the important stuff. It sounds like there’s going to be a lot less office work in his future.

You put your book down, huffing a dramatic sigh. 

“Javi?” 

“Yes, sweetheart?” 

“I’m bored.” 

He puts his paperwork down, rubs his eyes, and purses his lips at you. 

You smile at him, and he can’t resist the way his lips tug up as well. You crawl over to him, situating yourself into his side, and hand your book to him. 

“Read to me.” 

He sighs at you but takes the book. 

“I’m probably going to be slow.” 

“That’s okay.” 

“Alright, fine. You’re lucky you’re cute.” 

You smile wider, snuggling further into his body as he clears his throat and picks up from the page you left off on. Your eyes close as you listen to the sound of his gravelly voice somehow smoothing out as he gets into the groove of the love story. 

Before long, your eyes start to get heavy and you have to actively resist the urge to fall asleep. He’s not even a chapter in when you’re lulled to sleep by his voice and the ceiling fan running in the background.

**** Hope you enjoyed this chapter! It wasn't my favorite but some of these next ones are, so stay tuned 😈

Series taglist: @corazondebeskar @yorksgirl @nerdieforpedro @axshadows @melaninmommy @survivingandenduring @kewwrites @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff @callachloe @missladym1981 @sofiparallel @koshkaj-blog @sheepdogchick3 @movievillainess721 @jessie8605 @casa-boiardi @justlulu @iamsherlocked-1998 @hjzghi-blog

[ideas-live-forever]

Business Trips With Ken!

inspiration strikes! i’m on a roll, i never usually write so much 😭. just some more ken headcanons/blurbs :))

send a request if you have one! i’m looking for some more ideas about what to write!

Ken LIVES to be around you

So when he learns that you have to travel for two weeks or so for your job, he’s a little bitheartbroken

The poor guy immediately assumes that he won’t even hear from you the whole time

You explain to him that you could still call him and talk every day, you just wouldn’t be in person with him for a little

He’s still very sad, but he does his best to be understanding

He helps you pack your bags and insists you bring a bunch of things you definitely don’t need for two weeks 

“Y/n! You *have* to bring your favorite pillow!” Ken insists, pushing it towards you.

You take it in your hands and let out a soft laugh at his antics. He’s so worried about you, and you haven’t even left yet. It’s honestly adorable.

“The places I’m staying at have pillows, love. I’ll be fine.” You reply, your tone affectionate as you delicately set the pillow down.

“But what if they’re not as comfy? Then you won’t be able to sleep, so you might not be able to do work as well! And then you’ll get upset!” Ken persists in his actions, picking the pillow up again and hugging it to his chest. “Just take it, it’ll make me feel better. Please.”

How could you say no to that? Reluctantly, you pack the pillow in your suitcase, looking up to see a much less stressed out boyfriend. 

“Okay, fine. Happy?” 

“Very!” He says, smiling before he gets an idea. “While you’re at it, maybe you should bring this stuffed animal for luck.” 

To your dismay, he holds up his favorite horse plush. His expression is so innocent and caring. It takes practically all of your willpower, but you manage to go without packing it.

You found that horse in your suitcase while on your trip

The next day, he insists on going with you to the airport, and he calls a taxi early in the morning for you two to get there

Ken doesn’t even let you NEAR your suitcase. He pulls it for you all the way to security

When its finally time for you to leave, he gets all teary eyed

Pulls you into a bone crushing hug.

“Call me as soon as you land, okay?” Ken says through sniffles, burying his head in your shoulder. 

“I will. Promise.” You back away from the gif long enough to press a kiss to his cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. And we can call every day.”

Ken nods at that, blinking rapidly to try and stop the tears from really spilling down. He gives you a little smile, incredibly proud of you even though you have to be away from him. The noise of the bustling airport around you seems to draw you out of your sweet moment.

Teary goodbyes

He gives you a nice, long kiss on the lips before he lets go of you

When you finally go through security and he can’t see you anymore, he goes back home and texts you a ‘Safe flight!!! Love you so much!!’

You text him when you land, as promised, and he lets out a breath of relief

While you’re away, Ken is basically texting you all the time

Every time he sees something that remind him of you or he thought you might enjoy, he sends you a picture.

You answer him as soon as you have time too

And every day after work, you call him to catch up

He always picks up on the first ring with a “Y/n! I miss you :(“

If you’re in different time zones, he’ll definitely stay awake until unreasonable hours to talk to you

Until you make him hang up and go to bed

BUT if you have a rough at and tell him about it he will absolutely refuse to go to sleep until he knows you’re feeling better 

He hates not being able to comfort you in person :((

Ken makes plans to pick you up when you land back home from your trip, but he can’t drive, so he calls a taxi again

You barely see Ken before he runs and hugs you, ignoring the weird looks he’s getting from the other people in the airport

He takes all your bags to the taxi and then sits next to you in the backseat, clinging onto your hand

Once you get home, he insists on you resting 

“Ken, I should really unpack a little-“ You start as he practically pushes you into your room.

“No, you have to sleep! You were on a plane today. Get some rest. I’ll unpack. Then we can cuddle!” He says with a tone that sounds like he doesn’t plan on budging in his stance.

He keeps his promise

Ken unpacks all your bags as best as he can, putting things away correctly for the most part

Then, he joins you in the bed, grabbing you around you waist and kissing your forehead

Lots of ‘I love you’s 

He falls asleep with you, excited to hear about your trip more in the morning

[thehufflepuff02]

What It Could Have Been Chapter two—Grace

I’ve been trying to write this for the past week and I haven’t been happy with any of it so here this is about the best it’s gonna get. It’s short but I’ll try to get the next chapter out next week. Enjoy!

As soon as Grace stepped off the transport shuttle and onto the wonderful moon of Pandora she knew she was home. She knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life on Pandora. Now though lying across the back of the Samson, blood spilling out of her abdomen she was positive she was going to die here. She had lived the rest of her life here like she wanted. 

But she wasn’t ready.

She didn’t want to die. 

Not yet.

Norm and Jake did their best to stop the bleeding, packing the bullet wound with gauges and wrapping her entire torso in bandages. It seemed the bleeding slowed, giving her a few more hours at most. Jake promised to get her help soon. Grace knew he was in denial, who was gonna help her? Surely not the Omaticaya. They wouldn’t help them now, not after they betrayed them. 

“Hold on, Grace.” Jake told her, patting her arm. “We’re almost there.”

Grace nodded whiled clenching her jaw. The pain was becoming unbearable. Now that the shock was fading the pain was coming in full force. Her stomach was on fire and with every sway of the Samson it felt worse. 

And god she was so tired. 

Jake could see the pain Grace was in. He had been at her side the whole flight. He held her hand in his, offering the little comfort he could. The damn marine was trying his best but Grace could see he was barely holding himself together.

Grace may have hated the young marine’s guts just three months prior, but now there was no one else she would trust to help the clan. Jake managed to win over their hearts and become one of the people. Him and Neytiri would figure it out. Jake will win her back and he will stop Quaritch. Grace has full faith in him.

“Jake,” Grace managed to say through the pain. “If I don’t make it— I want you to know I-I’m proud of you. I— I have always held back. But you gave them your heart.”

Grace watched Jake look at her his eyes brimming with tears. “Don’t say that. You’re gonna be fine.” Jake promised, hoping it was true.

“Help them. Do what ever it takes. You hear me.” Grace told him, fighting to keep her eyes open. 

“I will.”

Grace knew he would keep to his promise. The Omaticaya would be in good hands. She let go, she stopped fighting for consciousness. She let herself fall into oblivion, free of pain.

“Grace?” Jake asked, rubbing her arm. 

No answer.

Jake checked her pulse, when he felt the faint beating of her heart in her neck he let out a breath. “Norm, she lost consciousness. Her pulse is weak.” He yelled over the chopper, “how long till we’re at the shack?”

“twenty minutes.” He answered back, “Jake, you do have a plan right? If the bullet hit any of her organs, we don’t have the tools or the experience to help.” 

“I have a plan.” Jake assured him, trying to convince himself as well.

[drakulateeth]

What have I been up to?

From the last "to do" post until now someone (me) moved abroad and started grad school. So what did I do today? And what is there left to do for this week?

I registered for my winter semester exams.

I filled out my scholarship calculation form, which took longer than expected.

I finished the preliminary table of contents for my M&A class presentation tomorrow.

I edited my cover letter for my thesis submission and realized I hadn’t mentioned my supervisor. I sent her the updated version, and she approved it. The whole process only took about six days of work (despite starting in August), but now it’s the end of October, and I just submitted it.

I downloaded the proposal for a project I participated in as a secondary proposer (though I mainly served as a quota of young researchers to be filled).

I finally received my Student Card! Now I can eat in the cafeteria and use the library. Thank goodness!

More things to worry about in the future:

I need to email my "Vertrauensdozentin" to ask her to be my advisor and arrange a meeting.

Next, I have to decide which working groups from the foundation I will join. I also need to register for a mandatory seminar on the fundamentals of liberalism, but I haven’t checked the dates yet.

It is my turn to clean the communal spaces and do some more grocery shopping. I should cook the meat in my fridge soon and buy food for my trip with classmates this weekend.

I am still to figure out what the best way to follow my classes is or where I can stay in campus to study. I still have not spoken to everyone in my program.

I must create a new Excel budget tracker for next month, update my October expenses, and schedule some payments for the beginning of the month.

I’d love to visit Munich soon, but I need to check with friends about hosting me. I also need to buy a flight ticket home for the holidays and plan a trip with my Spanish friend. Gosh I am so exhausting

I also want to get my residence permit longer before my visa expires, because I can't be keeping my passport on me all the fucking time.

I also need to condition myself into learning more German, like I know the language but at the same time I don't. Two weekends ago I went to a networking event and every night I would go to sleep with a horrible headache from all that small talk in German. Theoretically speaking I know I will get better, but at the present moment I feel so stupid for not being able to remember the most basic verbs while talking to other people. Like I am very cool and funny I swear, my brain just barely connects auf Deutsch.

In the three weeks I have been here, I have traveled to three different places in the weekends and have gotten sick from my stomach three times. Is this divine protection? I have only received one marriage proposal thus far, I can do better. Anyway I am writing this down so I can look back into these initial moments, and not let them fade away from my memory. All of my days have been action packed, but October 23rd will be cemented in my blog.

Bis bald!

[umichenginabroad]

Week 8 - The Return of The Wolverine

Kia Ora everyone! This week I went back to New Zealand. This time to the North Island, and with my Dad who's visiting the next couple of weeks.

Wednesday - Journey into the Cafe's of Sydney

Life in Australia leaves little to desire, however, one thing I've felt the absence of is study cafes. They don’t exist here, the closest you can get is either buying a coffee and then going to a library or hunting for a coffee shop that doesn’t want to throw you to the curb for ordering one coffee in three hours. This is yet another Anika Satish tip coming in clutch. During her time here, she discovered the cafe study gems that are Berkelouw and Ampersand. Although a far cry from the Michigan selection, the buildings double as a bookstore and cafe. It is challenging to be there for long due to limited outlets and spotty wifi, but it's a very welcome change from UNSW's main library. 

Thursday - Ho Dad!

9:15 am *buzz*, *buzz* hello?? Oh hey, Dad… you’re here already… my god, yes come in one second!

My dad arrived earlier than expected this morning and will be here for two weeks, during that time I’m maximizing all the activities I’ve been wanting to do but haven’t had the financial freedom to explore, oh and to spend loving, quality time with my father of course. He quickly showered and I got packed before we both headed to the airport for our midday flight to Auckland, New Zealand (the largest city in the north island). Despite a few flight delays, we made it to our dinner meal of tapas before heading in for a much-needed rest. A rest my dad that is, I stayed up for a few more hours planning the next few days of our trip, all that we had booked up to that point were the flights and that first night’s hotel…

Friday - Auckland to Rotorua

We wanted to spend our trip balancing thrilling activities with cultural experiences and exploring natural wonders. And seeing the Shire of course. However the last-minute booking scramble from the night before uncovered the harsh reality of all the Shire tours being booked. So we settled for lunch at the Shire’s rest cafe (the closest you can get without a ticket). 

We returned to the car and set off for grade 5 white water rafting. The highlights were the world's highest commercially rafted waterfall (22-foot) which we plummeted down in the raft, jumping into parts of the rapids, and surfing the rapids. 

Here's a photo online of the waterfall we conquered

Sore but exhilarated, we checked into our hotel and booked it for our dinner reservation. That night we got our first taste of the geothermal activity in the area as we spent 90 minutes soaking in the Polynesian Hot Springs in the middle of town. Reeking of sulphur, we made our way to the Redwood Park which boasted suspended walkways lit up by a host of lamps.

The walk felt like we were wandering an Ewok village at night. Not finding any Ewoks, we did see several, wait, baby kangaroos?? large rats?? Joe?? Nope, wallabies, basically short, rodent-looking kangaroos, hopping along the forest floor. 

Saturday - Rotorua to Whitianga

The next morning we made our way to the Geothermal Wonderland 10 minutes outside of Rotorua to experience “One of the most surreal places on Earth”. I don’t know about any of that but it was a very unique experience. Watching deep wells of bubbling mud and mineral-rich water boiling from the active vents deep below made Earth’s crust feel as thin as it has ever felt. The fear of all the high pressure and heat churning underneath our feet bursting up from the ground we walked wasn’t eased by the dire warnings of "If you hear a siren for more than 30 seconds, please evacuate immediately"

“I’m talking about Mountain Dew Baby”

We then headed to the Maori village for a guided tour highlighting their traditional practices and totem symbolism, and most interestingly how they harnessed the pools and vents of boiling water steaming up all around their land. 

The bottom two images depict one of several thermal vents that the village has reconfigured into a natural steam oven.

Chanting “Stay left”, my dad drove the winding rodes back north to Whitianga, a town in the Coromandel Peninsula near the famous hot spring beach. Our plan that night was to go during the next low tide (midnight) and so we searched for things to pass the time. For context, when visiting the hot water beach at low tide, we were told to dig into the sand near the water’s edge and watch it bubble up to fill in as our very own hot spring. 

Anyway, after our delicious dinner, we lodged ourselves at the local sports bar until enough time had passed. But as the drinks flowed, it became obvious that there were other plans in store for the night. We formally met the off-the-clock waitress from the place we had just dined, and I left my dad to join her and her friends for the night. They took me under their wing, putting me on to the “classic New Zealand bands” and expanding my vocabulary. Did you know that when we in America would typically call light rain “misting” they call it “spitting”? Needless to say, the streets and our clothes were covered in spit, so we all ran into the Ocean.

The next morning, a tad sleep-deprived, we drove back to catch our returning flight to Sydney, and to start our next adventure.

Cheers from the down under,

Grant Touchette

Aerospace Engineering

University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia

[kaileerachele]

Cruising on a budget!

I can’t believe I haven’t blogged about cruising yet! If you want to travel on a budget, you definitely need to know about cruising. I can’t say I’m a cruising expert, however, I’ve been on three and I have another planned for November of this year. I have also only cruised on Carnival Cruise Line. Carnival has the best prices I’ve been able to find. Ok so let’s get to it… why go on a cruise?

It can be extremely inexpensive! Like under $300 per person for a 3 or 4 day cruise!! Your food, hotel, and transportation are all included. Most of the time, you would spend more just on hotels for the number of nights you decide to cruise. I really like Carnival because you can book through their website up to two years in advance and set-up a payment plan. If you like to have a travel budget, this makes things so simple!

As a mom, cruises are the absolute best. Guess who doesn’t have to cook, clean, plan activities, find restaurants, and book multiple hotels for about a week? Me!!! I took my two girls on a cruise for their Christmas present a few years ago with my mom and we had a blast. They loved the unlimited pizza, soft serve ice cream, and snacks. They also loved swimming, mini golf, the activities for kids (at no extra charge), meeting friends, and seeing new parts of the world. It was also fun to get dressed up fancy for dinner. I have actually been really impressed with the food on the cruises I’ve been on!

You get to easily see parts of the world that would be much more expensive to fly to and pay for lodging, food, etc. We have been on the four day Catalina Island and Ensenada cruise and it was great! Our next cruise is going to be a 7 day to Cabo San Lucas, Puerto Vallarta, and Mazatlan. We have never been to those parts of Mexico and it a fraction of the cost to cruise there. My favorite excursions are the city tour activities, which tend to be the most inexpensive. I am also wanting to go on an Alaskan cruise. We live in the Pacific Northwest and can drive to the Seattle port. For the Long Beach port we have usually flown to and I have found flights for less than $200 a person to LAX.

Here are some other tips and tricks:

Plan a cruise in February, April, September, or November. The prices are much less!

If you tend to get motion sickness, bring anti-drowsy motion sickness medication with you.

If you are leaving from Long Beach, you might as well add a day or two at Disneyland, since it is very close to Anaheim! (See my Disney blog posts for tips!).

Cruises are great for large group trips, a ladies getaway, or couples trips. Everyone can book their own rooms, there is plenty to do, you can hang out together as much as little as you would like, and everyone has their own space!

I do recommend getting the travel protection so you will be refunded if your plans change.

I also suggest pre-paying for tips.

The drink packages are usually more expensive than the actual cruise and you would need to drink more than 9 beverages a day to make it worth it. That’s not worth it to me. There is also a soda package that is pretty reasonable if you are a soda person. They allow you to bring one 12 pack of soda per person and a bottle of wine though if you want to save $$

Once you know the ship you will be on, find a Facebook page about cruising on that ship to get tips and tricks from those who have already been on the ship. I have learned all sorts of great things on these!

You can prepay for Carnival gift cards on the website that you can use for anything on the ship that is extra. This way, you have already budgeted for anything extra and you don’t have a bill to pay at the end of the vacation.

There is a military discount and if you become a member of the loyalty program (it is free) you can get more perks the more cruises you go on.

I have seen that if you gamble in the casino on the ship that you will be sent amazing deals for cruises later, but I have not tried this. On the Facebook pages I have followed I have seen people get offers for pretty much free cruises-you just pay for taxes and port expenses. Again, I’m not sure how this works or if it is effective.

Go cruising and have a wonderful, relaxing vacation!

[queen--of--shadows]

Healing Shadows: Part 5

Azriel x Reader

Summary: Reader is a gifted surgical healer and water bender. Rhysand needs her help when he finds out about Feyre’s risky pregnancy. Azriel finds out reader is his mate.

Warnings: mentions of surgical wounds and scars

Word Count: 2,602

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

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Part 5: Envy

“Blood…” Rhys echoed your and Azriel’s words, giving Feyre a contemplative look. She nodded, likely answering a silent question Rhys sent down the bond.

“I want to learn more about your magic, Y/N, and for you to meet with Amren, my Second in Command,” he continued, “You said you haven’t mastered your skills yet. Amren can help with that, but as a member of the Inner Circle, I also urge you to train with my brothers.” You glanced over at Cassian and Azriel, still holding Nyx but now focusing their unrelenting gazes on you. Cassian’s mouth twitched into a smirk, no doubt a silent invitation to what you knew would be a brutal training schedule. Azriel remained unreadable. “Even if you master the art of… waterbending, there may be a time when you have no water at your disposal. Having an arsenal of ways to protect yourself is imperative.”

You slowly processed Rhysand’s words. You knew he was right, but the thought of harnessing that power within you, constantly begging to be released, while also mastering other self-defense methods made you nervous. You didn’t even know what training with the Illyrians would be like, but judging by their sculpted, muscular bodies, you could take a pretty decent guess.

“My mate is part of a group of warriors called the Valkyries. They also train with us every day. It might help to have some females to spar with if Az and I are away,” Cassian pondered, amusement dancing in those hazel eyes at the thought of having a new novice to train.

You didn’t know how to respond, overwhelmed with the onslaught of information and new responsibilities.

Trying to change the subject, you turned to Mor. “I still have some things at my apartment that I need to pack. Mor, do you mind winnowing me down?” you asked, feeling like a pathetic, useless burden on your new friends.

“Of course! As a matter of fact, Nesta and I will help bring your stuff up here,” she quipped, grinning wide as Nesta entered with Elain at her side.

You smiled at the sisters, but only Nesta returned your greeting. Despite her sweet appearance, Elain gave you a long look, head to toe and back up again. You suddenly felt very, very small under her beautiful but disapproving stare. She didn’t bother with niceties as she walked over to sit next to Azriel, reaching over his lap to ruffle Nyx’s hair.

Did I do something wrong?

Sensing your discomfort, Mor chimed in, “Nesta, let’s help Y/N pack up her things at her old place.”

Nesta nodded in agreement, striding over to you and grabbing your hand, giving it a squeeze. From what you heard, the High Lady’s sister had a reputation for being cold and icy, and you already saw that side of her a few times. But she seemed to be warming up to you, just like everyone else.

Except for Elain.

---------------------------

You led the two females up six flights of stairs, out of breath by the time you reached your floor. “Gods, you both are in great shape,” you wheezed, barely able to catch your breath.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. After a couple weeks of Valkyrie training, you’ll be caught up in no time,” Nesta said with a feline grin.

You winced in response, still breathing hard.

The apartment was small, and there wasn’t much to pack except for your clothes and books. Mor had reassured you that there was no need to haul up extra bedding or furniture—there was more than enough at the House already.

You were done within a few minutes and had a bag of trash ready to haul down. “Ready? I just need to throw this out.” There was an awkward pause, and you knew they were waiting to ask something.

“Why didn’t you want anyone to know about your magic?” Nesta asked casually, but you knew her question was a reflection of everyone’s thoughts after your outburst this morning with Madja. Taking a long, deep sigh, you explained, “My mother was human and my father is fae, although I never met him. I know he gave me my magic, or someone in his lineage, but I’ve never met anyone with the same or even similar powers. I was ridiculed and bullied for it as a child, always ostracized as some freak of nature. So I’ve kept it hidden: as a child, out of fear of being made fun of; as an adult, out of fear of being hunted down. I know it sounds irrational and crazy to be scared of that, but I’m just worried one day someone will find out and try to weaponize my power into something evil.”

Mor and Nesta gave you an apologetic look. “I understand, Y/N. I think Rhys knows that too, which is why he’s pushing for you to train and get stronger, not only with your waterbending but in other aspects, like becoming comfortable with swords or a bow and arrow. I know it’s intimidating, but you have the best teachers in all of Prythian. It’s important to be able to defend yourself against any kind of threat. Nesta and I know that better than most,” Mor said, a vicious memory clouding her sparkling golden-brown eyes. You nodded in understanding, still feeling wary of training under Cassian and Azriel.

You followed the two out, looking around at the empty space with a nostalgic fondness. You were incredibly lucky to be moving into the House, but part of you was sad to be leaving the comfort of your previous life.

Mor and Nesta had made you feel comfortable enough to ask: “By the way, I know this isn’t a big deal, but I noticed Elain kind of ignored me this morning. I just want to make sure I didn’t do anything to offend her.”

They quickly glanced at each other, waiting for the other to explain.

“Don’t worry about Elain. She can just be… moody sometimes,” Nesta said, and you didn’t have the energy to push her further.

---------------------------

You and Nesta strolled through floor after floor of the endless Library, covered wall to wall in thick books and texts. It was everything you could have imagined and more. Shelves lining every inch of the Library were stacked up to the ceiling with books, spines of a million different colors facing out. You ran a hand over the leather binding, each one whispering and calling out to you. There were small tables on each floor, some in the corners and some in between the massive shelves, each adorned with a flickering faelight lamp and books strewn across the top. The reading nooks looked lived-in, and it made you happy to know everyone used the Library as a sanctuary, an escape from the rest of the world. You couldn’t wait to come down and spend hours perusing through the endless words and stories.

Nesta introduced you to some of the priestesses who worked in the Library, including her friend and fellow Valkyrie, Gwyn. Her bright teal eyes shined when Nesta had mentioned you would be training with them soon, and you basked in the warmth of happiness at your newfound friends.

---------------------------

You paced around Rhys’s study, trying to keep busy with the various maps, artifacts, and texts littered throughout the room. Feyre had tried to calm your nerves about meeting with Amren, but the way everyone talked about her had nausea roiling through your gut.

She didn’t bother knocking as she strode through the double doors of the study.

Well… you hadn’t expected her to look like that.

Amren sauntered in, decked out in a dark red chiffon dress that billowed behind her tiny frame. Her soft, delicate features were so at odds with her glossy chin-length black hair. She plopped down on a couch, picking at her manicured nails as if she didn’t even notice your presence.

“I don’t have all day, girl. Show me what you can do.” Her ethereal voice was both from here and far, far away.

You gawked at Cassian who gave you an encouraging nod. Rhys did the same, gesturing to a bowl of water he had ready for you.

Without saying a word, you met Amren’s demand. This time, your power came quickly, gushing up to the surface, teasing at your fingertips as if ready to serve and please. It wanted freedom, wanted to be used and unleashed. The water flowed out of the bowl easily, and again you flicked your fingers this way and that, the thread of water following your movements as you twirled it around the room a few times, and finally eased it back into the bowl.

“That’s it?” Amren said, obviously annoyed and disappointed with your display, her deep smoky-silver eyes boring into your own.

“I—it,” you stammered, but she cut you off.

“If that’s all she has to show me, we have a lot of work to do,” she snapped at Rhys.

Heat rushed to your cheeks, and your power thrummed with anger and rage, deep inside. “I can do more than just that,” you hissed, practically spitting the last two words. You could’ve sworn Cassian snorted under his breath.

Your power danced through your limbs with excitement as you pulled the water out of the bowl, allowing the cold, icy magic to rush through your body. Suddenly, the water turned into glistening icy shards, all aimed and pointed at Amren, ready to shred through her smooth skin at your command.

The tiny being’s hair shifted like a curtain as she peered above her head and gave you a slow, wicked grin. “That’s more like it, girl. Keep going.”

The ice melted back into water, and you quickly split it into two ropes, winding each one around her legs and forming it into solid anchors, binding her to the floor. Amren tried to kick out of the icy restraint, but you kept your hold solid and firm. Azriel’s brows flicked up in approval.

“Better. Train with these two idiots, and you’ll be a master in no time. I need to do more research on this. Rhys, give her what she needs.” Rhys nodded as you released the hold on Amren, and she saw herself out. The rage still simmered under your skin as you took a seat, slightly drained from exerting yourself. You felt like some puppet, putting on a show for her approval. Cassian, noticing the sheen of sweat covering your face, said, “Don’t mind her, she’s ancient and cranky. We should start training tomorrow.” You knew you were out of shape but didn’t think using your magic for only a few minutes would have you so out of breath.

“Y/N, you mentioned bloodbending. Can you explain?” Rhys questioned. Fuck. I thought he would forget.

Running a hand over your face as if wiping away the memory that danced in front of your eyes, you explained. “I only did it once, a long time ago. I wanted to see what else I could bend, aside from water and ice. Like I said, I can control any fluid containing some water. So, a few years ago I tried bloodbending. I was out in the forest, trying to practice extracting water from the plants around me as a source when I got the idea after passing a rabbit. I could make it move and stop as I pleased, but I was horrified by that power and haven’t done it since.”

The three brothers remained silent, weighing your confession. “It would be a lethal skill to master,” Azriel said, his voice dark and cold. Rhys nodded in agreement.

“I don’t want to push you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. It’s your choice, Y/N, but I do think Azriel is right. Waterbending alone is amazing, yes, but bloodbending is not an ability I’ve ever heard of or seen in five centuries. If you consider training and mastering it, Azriel and Amren could help refine that skill.”

You hated it. Hated even the memory of it. The look of terror and panic in the rabbit’s eyes as you halted the blood in its course, lifting its front paws slowly off the ground and standing it up onto its hind legs. The innocent creature had no idea what was happening. You didn’t want to hurt it, but you also didn’t know if you caused any pain when you controlled its small, soft body. You let go and immediately ran to hurl your lunch into the nearest bush. You never wanted to feel like that again. But the thought of someone hurting you or any of your friends…

“I’ll do it. I want to train. Cass, let’s start tomorrow, like you said.” He responded with a warm smile. “I have some business to attend to at the camps, so Az will show you the training ground.” You met Azriel’s gaze, slowly getting used to all of their commanding presence. Rhysand followed Cassian out, leaving you and the Shadowsinger.

“Shall we?” he said, motioning toward the stairs.

---------------------------

You followed Azriel up to the roof of the House, which opened up into a large courtyard, protected on all sides with thick wrought-iron fencing. He led you in silence towards the center of the grounds into a sparring pit, littered with wooden swords and daggers. “The girls always forget to put them away,” he muttered as he picked them up, placing each back in the bin at the edge of the pit. Dummies wrapped in thick white sheets stood off to the sides, noticeable wear and tear apparent on each. You grabbed one of the daggers by your feet, turning it over in your hand, adjusting to the smooth wood of the hilt, worn down by years of use.

“It’s pretty self-explanatory. We spar and train in this ring, and you can use the dummies to practice your kicks and punches. We don’t have much equipment since Cassian prefers hand-to-hand combat training.” Noticing the awkward angle at which you were holding the dagger, Azriel took your hands in his, slowly twisting your wrist to the correct position. “Try getting comfortable holding it like that. Don’t tell Cass that I showed you,” he said with a sly half-smile that quickly vanished as he looked over your shoulder.

“Elain, is everything alright?”

You turned around to see the beautiful Archeron sister, hair pulled back, framing her glistening doe eyes in the afternoon sun. Her sun-kissed skin was glowing, and a soft rosy blush adorned her cheekbones. You felt…plain in comparison.

She looked right past you towards the Spymaster, as if you weren’t even standing between them.

“I need some help downstairs, do you mind coming with me?”

Azriel shot you an apologetic look. “Take a look around and keep practicing holding the dagger like I showed you.” And with that, he followed Elain out of sight.

A pang of jealousy crept into your gut.

Maybe they’re mates. Or together. Or…

It didn’t matter. Of course he would be interested in someone like Elain. She was soft and sweet, her honeysuckle scent lingering in her wake as she would walk past. She was the opposite of Azriel in every way, but it made sense why he would chase after her. Sunshine and shadows.

You were embarrassed at your jealousy and hated yourself for even thinking of developing a crush on him.

Nesta and Mor’s shared look in response to your question from earlier suddenly made sense. They tried to be nice about it, but this confirmed your suspicions.

You would keep your distance from him.

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[gretavangroupie]

Wilt (Chapter 6)

Chapter 5

Wilt Playlist

A/N: This chapter could be triggering for some readers. Please make sure to read the warning. Special thanks to my lovely friend @stellaajames this wouldn't be what it is without her.

WARNINGS: Angst, Smut, Sexual Assault, Drugs, Alcohol, Mentions of Pregnancy and Pregnancy related themes. 18+ as always.

The light peeking around the blinds hits your eyelids, causing them to open slowly, adjusting to bright yellow rays. It is warm on your face. Jake is wrapped around you, facing you, his arms holding loosely on your waist, and his ankles tangled with yours. You can tell from his breathing that he is still asleep, his mouth slightly open, soft breaths escaping his lips. He looks so peaceful, and your finger gently slides across his cheek tracing the ridge of his cheekbone. He is so beautiful. You can’t believe you were ever stupid enough to walk out on him. You wonder how things would be between the two of you if none of this ever happened. His foot moves against yours and you can tell he is starting to wake up. His leg snakes up yours and back down feeling your skin against his. His eyes open and adjust to the light, softening when he sees you in front of him, blinking away the blurriness

“My girl.” He says in a raspy voice, rubbing his thumb over your lips. “This is everything I wanted. I can’t believe I have to leave you tonight.” He says.

“It’s only a few weeks...” You reply softly.

“It will feel a lot longer when I am waking up in hotel beds and you’re not there.” He says.

“What was it you said last night? I will be here waiting for you?” You smile.

“I hope so darlin, love you so much.” He says pulling you on top of him kissing your face all over, playfully.

“What time do you leave tonight?” You ask.

“Gotta leave here at 4:00, flight is at 6:00.” He says.

“You’re all packed?” You ask.

“Yep, everything except you. Still trying to figure out how to put you in my suitcase.” He laughs.

“Are you excited, though? To go to India?” You question.

“Oh yeah, definitely. We haven’t been yet, this will be our first time.” He replies. “We are playing a few shows and a music festival. God I wish you could come. You haven’t even seen us play live yet.” 

“Well, I mean you did play that one song at the office for me?” You joke.

“Eh, its not the same. I want you to get the full experience. Next time, you’re coming with.” He says kissing you with a quick peck.

“Next time.” You smile. You can feel him underneath you, all of him.

You wiggle against him and he smiles. “I feel like there is something coming between us…” you joke.

“Have I mentioned how beautiful you are in the morning?” He says smugly.

“No, but you can tell me while I investigate…this” you say slowly sliding yourself down his body.

Your hand runs over his bulge, confined by his boxers. You place a kiss on his length over the fabric. 

“Baby, you don’t have to…” he says.

“I won’t see you for a month and you’re going to deny me this?” You say in a devilish voice placing kisses on his torso. “In fact, do you want to be a little bit bad….”

“I’m listening….” He replies curiously.

“A month is a long time without each other…if only you had some way to visualize….” You reply.

He raises his eyebrows “Are you saying, you want me to… record you?” He asks.

“Do you want to? Would that be…. Helpful?” You ask placing another kiss on his base.

“Jesus Christ, of course I want to.” He says.

You nod your head looking over to his phone on the side table.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“As long as its for your eyes only…” you reply.

“Oh no one gets to see this. Ever. Trust me on that. You’re mine.” He says.

You pull the waistband of his boxers slowly down revealing his rock hard length licking from the base to the tip.

“Look at me beautiful.” he says hitting the record button.

You look up through your lashes as you take him into your mouth. A soft hiss leaving his lips.

As you begin to work him up and down a muffled curse leaves his lips.

You swirl your tongue around the sensitive underside of his tip and his cock jerks in your mouth. “Fuck darlin, that is the spot...” He says.

You push down as far as you can go, his length hitting the back of your throat and your throat constricting at the pressure. Looking up to him you nod your head in approval as he places his free hand on your head pushing it down with every forward movement. His movements get stronger until he is forcefully pushing your head down onto him. Fucking himself into your mouth with forceful grunts.

“Fuck baby I am gonna cum...” he says throwing his head back.

You come back up and begin circling his tip hoping it will be his tipping point.

“You are so god damn gorgeous, perfect for me." he groans. You wrap your fist around his base and begin stroke upward while you continue to circling his sensitive tip.

“Im cumming baby…” he says pulling your head closer and thrusting upward into your mouth, his cum shooting down your throat. His groans causing your arousal to pool between your legs.

“Fuck that was so good sugar. I am going to watch that every day I swear to god...” He laughs. You pulls off of him and wipe your face with your hand.

You crawl over the top of him and place a soft kiss on his lips. “I hope you do, but I have one more idea.” His hands come up cupping your face kissing you and pulling your bottom lip between his teeth as you pull away from him.

He rolls you over to your back to where now he is straddling you.

“And what would that be darlin?” He asks.

“Prop it up and let me show you.” You say.

“I get two videos?” He asks shocked.

“You get as many as you want…” you reply.

He kisses you again, and leans over propping his phone up on his lamp, hitting the record button and forgetting about it. As he does this your remove your panties and throw them on the floor.

“Roll over, let me be on top.” You whisper into his mouth.

You climb over his legs and straddle him, taking the hoodie off revealing your naked body underneath.

You let your hair down out of your ponytail, letting it fall loosely around your shoulders. His hands reach up and cup your breasts, gently squeezing them and your nipples harden in response. You place his hands on your thighs and you begin to rub your slick across his hard length and place your hands on your tits, squeezing them as he watches you. His dick twitches as he watches you. 

You drop one of your hands and grab his length gently raising yourself over him and sliding down onto him. A groan leaving your mouth at the fullness of him in this position.

“Jake you feel so good inside me.” 

His hands begin to lift you up slightly and pull you back down onto him. You are making figure 8’s with your hips hitting your g spot and whining with pleasure. You continue in this position for another minute before you start to lift yourself up and down on him in a quicker pace causing your tits to bounce freely at the force. 

“Baby, did your tits get bigger? Jesus they look gorgeous.” He says staring them down

“I don’t thinks so, maybe?…Fuck it feels so good, I’m gonna cum…” you say.

You lean back and place your hands on your ankles, as he continues to hit that spot at a new angle. Suddenly he sits up and you bring your legs around to wrap around his waist. You throw your head back and his hand comes up grasping your throat and he begins to pound into you in this new sitting position. “You’re mine. Say it. Say you’re mine.” He says his grip tightening on your throat.

“I’m yours Jake, always have been.” You reply gasping for air.

He lets go and his rough calloused fingers begin to flick your clit in almost painful strokes. It’s enough to send you into your orgasm and you grip your fingers into his hair as you scream out his name as you clench around him.

“Fuck I love it when you scream my name. You’re so fuckin gorgeous, god I am gonna cum again, you feel so good.” He pants continuing to thrust into you.

“Jake please. Cum inside of me, I want it.” You say kissing his neck.

With a loud grunt you feel him shooting inside of you. 

“God I am going to miss you so fucking bad.” He says.

“I’ll miss you too, but just imagine how good it’s going to be when you get back.” You smile.

He reaches over stopping the recording. He grabs your chin between his thumb and fore finger just staring into your eyes he says “I love you my girl. I know I have been saying that a lot but mean it. I do. I will be thinking of your every second I’m gone.”

“I love you too Jake, and luckily you have this nifty bracelet to look at when you want to think about me and now a few videos to go with it. ” You laugh.

“I never took it off you know.” He says.

“I wondered when I saw you wearing it last night.” You say.

“I was hoping that by wearing it, somehow you’d come back, and you did. So now it’s never coming off. You’ll never see me without it.” He says with a soft kiss.

“Im so glad you like it baby.” You reply as he pulls you into a hug and sniffs your hair breathing in your scent.

You get up and walk to the bathroom and start a shower. You step in and hear Jake coming to join you. He steps in and the water hits his face cascading down his chest, pooling at his necklace.

“You know I love this? I can’t picture you without it.” you say running your fingers over the silver metal.

“I have always worn a necklace, I don’t even remember when I started, just one of those things ya know…” he replies. “This one has a pretty cool story, i’ll tell you sometime.”

You place a soft kiss on his lips and you both continue with your shower enjoying each other.

“So we are agreed I am taking this right?” You ask holding up his hoodie.

Jake looks up from his opened suitcase, laughs and says, “Baby you can take whatever you want.”

You smile and put it on walking over to him, handing him his toiletry bag from the bathroom counter. 

“I can’t believe we only have an hour until I won’t see you for a month.” You sigh.

“Lets have a drink?” He asks.

You make your way to the kitchen and see Josh is in the living room looking at his phone.

“Ahh they finally emerge…” he jokes. “Did you two kiss and make up, just in time for us to leave?” He jokes.

“Yeah, pretty bad timing but, at least I got my girl back.” Jake replies, pouring two drinks.

“Cheers to that” Josh says raising his glass off the coffee table.

You and Jake clink your glasses together and sip the spicy brown liquid.

You join Josh on the couch and ask Jake “will you play me a song before you leave?”

“Song, song, song!” Josh chants.

He sets his drink on the counter and walks to the music room, grabs a guitar and walks back out, his bare feet softly hitting the concrete floors.

“Fine, you want a song…” he says playing the intro to ‘Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star’.

“Noooo, not a baby song! A good song, come on… I won’t get to hear you for weeks!” You say playfully.

He purses his lips and raises his eyebrows smirking as he strums the into to ‘Hey, Hey, What Can I Do’.

You smile giddily and kick your feet in excitement. You love this song. He starts to sing and you and Josh look at each other stunned. Jake never sings.

‘Wanna tell you about the girl I love, my she looks so fine…Ah, she’s the only one that I been dreamin’ of, maybe someday she will be all mine… I wanna tell her that I love her so, I thrill with her every touch…I need to tell her she’s the only one I really love….”

You sit back and listen to him play, your heart swelling with love, but also sadness that he is leaving you so soon. But this is his life, he is a musician and you knew that. It’s his passion and you know that this is part of it. You love him. You couldn’t imagine things any another way. He finishes the song and puts his guitar away, rejoining you on the couch with a kiss on the cheek.

“That was obviously for you.” He says to with another kiss. He leans over you looking at Josh. “NOT you.” He smirks.

“My brother, it is time. I’m gonna go load my stuff in the car.” Josh says standing up.

A sad look crosses your face.

“Hey don’t be sad darlin, it’s just a few weeks.” He says holding your hand.

“I know but I missed you so bad these past couple of weeks and I finally just got you back and now you’re going to be gone again.” You reply.

“But the difference is that we are gonna talk all the time, i’m gonna call you and text you so much that you are gonna tell me to stop bothering you. I promise.” He smiles.

“I’m really gonna miss… you..too.” you say in a suggestive voice.

“Not me, you gave me the best gift today. I can’t thank you enough. I promise I will… help you out when I can.” He says with a kiss and a smirk.

“Okay, let’s get you loaded up.” You say. 

You help him wheel his bags out the the car and load them in. Josh is in the drivers seat and rolls his window down gesturing you to come talk to him.

“Thanks for coming back, he was a wreck without you. He really loves you, and I’m glad things worked out. We love having you around and we will miss you. Let’s do something fun when we get back?” He asks.

“I love him too Josh, and yes, let’s definitely do something fun. I'll brainstorm while you’re gone. Have a safe trip and have fun and break a leg?” You laugh.

“I will do that!” He says.

You walk around the front of the car and Jake is waiting for you at the car door. 

“Alright my girl, I will be back soon. I love you so much. Please, please be here when I get back. Don’t do anything crazy, and you call me if you miss me too bad. I will always answer for you.” He says pulling you in for a passionate and loving kiss before peppering your face with small kisses. “God I cannot get enough of you. Gonna miss you so bad.”

You laugh and pull back “I’m going to miss you to baby, have fun, be careful, YOU don’t do anything crazy. Don’t kill Sam. I will be fine here. May sneak into your bed a few nights, but other than that…. I will be here waiting. I love you too. Always have.” You say hugging him to you with one more kiss. 

“Bye darlin. ”

“Bye Jake.”

As they pull out of the driveway you wave them off and they wave back. You get in your car and head home. As you are driving home you are thinking about Jake teaching you guitar that first day and you remember that he finally told you the name of that song. You pull up Spotify and search the song and find it. You hit the play button and hear the guitar start to ring through the speakers and you smile imagining Jake playing. As the song reaches the chorus you smile listening to the words and realizing why he never sang it for you. Josh is such a talented singer, in fact all of them are insanely talented. You think you might have a new favorite song. As you pull into the drive way you pull out your phone and send Jake a quick text.

You: I finally listened to Mountain of the Sun…I know why you wouldn’t sing it to me now…

Jake: I needed to make sure you felt the same way, couldn’t expose myself so early on. But eventually I did make you mine. ;)

Jake: Miss you already my girl.

You: Miss you too Jakey, have a safe flight. Call me when you land?

Jake: I will, it will be a pretty big time difference though…

You: I don’t care, I’ll answer. Just want to know you made it.

Jake: Okay, love you, talk soon.

You: Love you too.

At home you catch up on your shows, eating dinner and enjoying a bottle of wine. You have felt exhausted all day chalking it up to having an emotional night. You think of Jake and hope his flight is going ok, it’s a nearly 20 hour flight with a massive time change that he will have to adjust to. You go to bed early feeling overly tired and falling asleep easily.

The next day you decide to go shopping for a bit and then come home and clean your house. You spend the better part of the evening cleaning your house which had turned into a depression nest over the past month. It feels good cleaning it up, knowing that things in your life are good again. You clean your kitchen and your bedroom, putting new sheets on your bed and lighting your favorite candle. You move to the bathroom, putting away all of you hair products, make up and skincare items. You clean the shower and the toilet and the last thing you have to do is take out the trash. As you dump the can into a garbage bag you see tampon wrappers at the bottom of the basket and realize those are from the last time you cleaned your bathroom, a month ago. Setting down the empty trash can a wave of heat rushes over your body.

When was the last time you had your period? You put the trash bag in the kitchen with the other and grab your phone from the charger and sit on the couch. You pull up your period tracking app and see that the information for your current cycle is missing. Your last period was over a month ago and your period are extremely regular with your IUD. You thought that the IUD was the safest option… surely you couldn’t be…. You throw your phone on your bed and push it out of your mind. There is no way, you were just really stressed this month and it’s causing you to be late. Thats all. 

The rest of your night is uneventful and you decide to watch a movie to take your mind off of things, but you find your mind wandering as soon as the movie starts. Retracing the dates of when your period was supposed to start you pin point the day you would have ovulated. 

The day you came home from seeing your family for Christmas. 

The day you gave Jake his Christmas present.

The night of the party. 

The night you were raped. 

A sick feeling washes over you as you sprint to the bathroom to expel your guts. Panicked is not the word to describe how you feel. Surely you couldn’t be pregnant. You have an IUD. You didn’t get checked after the assault, wanting to move past what happened. You would have known right then and you could have taken something. You remember Jake saying they found a condom on the ground, so you didn’t worry, but maybe you should have. Maybe you wouldn’t be in this situation.

You jump up and grab your phone and your purse and head to the closest drug store you can find which happens to be a Walgreens. Your heart is racing and you are shaking with fear. You could be pregnant with Jake’s baby. You told him you had an IUD and he trusted you. Even worse, you could be pregnant by your rapist. Your thoughts shift back to Jake. The man you love who is off living his dream. His dream that would be ruined by a child. Either way you spin it this is the worst case scenario for everyone. As you walk down the family planning aisle you swallow back the lump in your throat picking up the pink box. Its has three tests in it. Soon you would know for sure.  You check out with the tests, and head straight home. You place the tests on the bathroom counter deciding on taking them in the morning, as you always heard that was the best time. Its nearly midnight now and you are tossing and turning in your bed. 

You hear your phone buzzing on your night stand. Its Jake.

“Hello?” You say with a groggy voice.

“My girl, god it’s so good the bar your voice. We made it. What time is it there?” He asks.

“Umm 11:42, so basically midnight. ” you reply

“Wow it’s 12:00pm here so its around an 11 hour difference then…” he says.

“How was your flight?” You ask.

“It was so long, I think I watched 10 movies…” he laughs. “Are you ok baby you aren’t very talkative. I have been dying to talk to you.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry I’m okay. I miss you and have been waiting to hear from you. I'm glad you had a good flight and that you made it there in one piece.” You say. 

“We are gonna go check into our hotel and do a little exploring. I miss you so much, I will send you some pictures if you want.” He says.

“Okay, sure baby, have fun. I love you…” you say.

“I love you too my girl, I will talk to you soon. Bye…”

“Bye Jake.” You say hanging up the phone.

You place your phone back on your nightstand and try to sleep knowing that your life could be changed forever by two little pink lines. 

You wake up sweating. Your heart pounding almost instantly, knowing that its time to do it. You drag yourself out of bed and into the bathroom, hands shaking as you open the box. Pulling out the instructions you read them twice to be sure. You decide to do all three tests to be sure, and run to the kitchen to grab a plastic cup. You nervously walk back to the bathroom and relieve your bladder into the plastic cup.

You remove the caps from each test and submerge the test strip of each test into the cup. You line them up on your bathroom counter and set a timer for 3 minutes. You sink down to your bathroom floor, your heart beating so hard you can hear it in your ears and you feel like you might pass out. You start breathing heavily as the timer goes off.  You tell yourself that no matter the result, whatever is meant to happen will happen. You can’t help but think of Jake, and how much you love him. How much this could ruin everything. Swallowing down the lump in your throat you place your hands on the counter very slowly lifting onto your knees. Your eyes just barely peeking over the edge of the counter. Your heart is pounding out of your chest as you pull the first test down to your face with your eyes closed. 

You open your eyes. Negative. 

A wave of relief washes over you and you stand up feeling slightly more confident. 

Only to have all of it stripped away when your eyes meet the two sets of pink lines in the result window of the other two tests. 

Positive. Both of them. 

.

.

.

.

Picking up the tests you examine them thoroughly and grab the instructions to make sure that 2 lines is for sure positive. It is. You grab the negative test only to find that it is now also showing positive, just developing slower than the other two. Three positive tests. You are pregnant. But the worst part is that you don’t know who’s it is. The man you hate, or the man you love, who will hate you for this. Tears begin to fall down your cheeks. You are pregnant. You’ve been pregnant for weeks and you had no idea. Jake had no idea. 

You sink back down to the floor and just cry. The panic sets in and you realize that you still have an IUD in. You immediately call your gynecologist and explain the situation and you make an emergency appointment to have the IUD removed. For your safety and for the safety of the baby you now carry. Your mind shifts to Jake. You will have to tell him, and you will but you’re not sure how. You can’t. Not yet. You need to be sure. This is not part of his plan. When he talked about seeing kids in the future he definitely didn’t mean a month from that conversation. 

You stand up and collect all the tests on the counter, covering them with a towel so that you dot have to look at them. You walk out of the bathroom and begin to get dressed for your appointment. Your phone buzzes on your nightstand.

Jake: Hey beautiful, we just got back to the hotel, it has been the longest day of my life…this jet lag is killing all of us.

You: Hi babe, I can’t imagine how tired you all must be. What are you going to do now?

Jake: I am getting my ass in bed. What do you have going on today?

You don’t even know how to respond. You can’t just come out and say ‘Oh nothing much just getting my IUD removed because I’m pregnant with a baby that may or may not be yours….’

You: Just running some errands today. Might practice a little, been a minute since I picked up my guitar. 

Jake: You’ll send me a video right?

You: If you want me to?

Jake: Of course I do.

You: Miss you.

Jake: Miss you too darlin, wish we were together. Love you.

You: Love you too Jake. Sleep tight.

You arrive at your appointment and you are so nervous you are sweating profusely. You are a ball of nerves and shaking. Maybe there is just a chance those tests were wrong. Just maybe.

They call your name and you walk through the door, and the nurse hands you a plastic cup to pee in. This is it. 

You pee in the cup and screw on the lid, placing it in the little door in the bathroom stall.

The nurse escorts you to a room and gives you a pink paper gown to put on. You always thought these things were so weird. But you think it would be more weird to just keep your normal clothes on…. You wait for what seems like an hour in that room, watching the clock tick, reading all of the signage on the walls telling you about safe sex, vaccinations, and abusive partners. You shiver from the nerves or lack of clothes, you’re not sure which. There is a knock at the door. Your stomach drops. Your doctor walks in and confirms your details with you before pulling a small rolling stool to sit next to you. 

“So, I think you already know what I am going to say if you are here to get your IUD removed.” She says looking at your chart.

“I need to know for sure.” You reply nervously.

“You are pregnant… the urine sample was positive.” She says. “This is extremely rare with an IUD. The failure rate of an IUD is extremely low. Since you did get positive results I would be comfortable removing it for you today, as well as getting a look at what is going on.” She says reassuringly.

She puts on a pair of gloves and grabs the Ultrasound wand. She walks you through the entire process telling you everything she does before she does it. This makes you feel better and less nervous. Inserting the wand you look at the small black and white screen anxious at what you might see. She moves the wand around until she finds your IUD on the screen and takes a few screen captures. 

“You are the one in a million. It looks like your IUD has grown into your uterine lining.” She says. “I will be able to remove it today, but it is going to be painful and taxing for you. Is there anyone you’d like to call?” 

Your mind shoots immediately to Jake. Jake, who you know would be here in seconds and never leave your side. Thats just who he is. But you can’t. 

“No.” You say heartbroken swallowing back tears. 

“Okay, lets see if I can find the embryo…” she says moving the wand. “You are only around 4.5 weeks according to your last period, so I should be able to possibly see a yolk sac.”

You realize that you have been holding your breath and let out a long breath.

“Yep, there right there…See that little black spot?” She says pointing to the tiny black circle on the screen. A tear falls from you eye and you feel like you’re going to be sick. 

“When you come back in a few weeks we should be able to hear the heartbeat.” She says clicking boxes on the screen. 

“Now, lets talk about removing this IUD. I am going to give you some local anesthetic to try and numb the pain, but i’m going to be honest with you. It is going to hurt. A thin layer of tissue has grown over part of it, and I am going to have to pull it off.” She says. “I’m ready, let’s just do it.” You reply. 

Getting your IUD out was one of top 3 worst experiences of you life. You wished so badly that Jake was there with you. You left the office with paperwork and pamphlets and brochures on every single pregnancy topic in the book. You are absolutely distraught and cry the whole way home. You have ruined your life. Maybe even Jake’s life. That is the worst part. You don’t even know if its his. You feel so guilty for wanting it to be his. You can’t bear the thought of carrying a child as a result of that horrible night. You tell yourself again that you have to talk to Jake but you can’t even find the words. 

You cry off and on most of the night trying to practice your guitar to take your mind off of everything. Around 10pm you get a text from Jake.

Jake: Miss you, waited for my video all night.

You: Don’t you have a few videos on your phone…Had a long day, just now doing it. Hold on.

You prop your phone up and try to cover your face as much as possible. You know that it is red and blotchy from all the crying.  You play ‘Wild Horses’ and send it to him. Its a little rough but thats to be expected after your little hiatus. A few minutes later he responds.

Jake: You are so beautiful my girl. Im gonna go watch it again. Send me another.

You play the intro chords to a song that you have been working on by yourself. One that you haven’t told him about yet. You were going to surprise him before everything happened. You record it and hit send. 

Your phone rings, it’s a FaceTime call. Crap. You quickly try to fix yourself up, knowing your face is still red and swollen. 

“Hi!” You answer seeing his beautiful face appearing on your phone. He is out somewhere, it’s the middle of the day, and he has on his sunglasses. 

“Hey my love, what is wrong? I just watched the second video and your eyes are all red and puffy…” He asks.

You know this is not the time or place to tell him so you lie.

“Ah, nothing it must be allergies… I’m okay!” You reply with a smile.

“You’re a terrible liar, always have been.” He laughs.

“Please tell me what’s wrong?” He asks as he continues walking where ever he is going.

“I just miss you is all. Wish you were here.” You say. Which is technically not a lie.

“Darlin, don’t cry. Damn, break my heart.” He says.

“I am just feeling emotional is all. It's been a crazy start to the year. Anyways, what are you guys up to?” You ask.

“We are out here about to walk into the venue for the show tonight… gonna go soundcheck, get some lunch, fuck around… you know the usual.” He jokes.

“I am glad you guys are having fun. I won’t keep you. I am gonna go to bed anyways.” You say.

“Okay babe, well please don’t cry. Don’t be sad. The time is gonna go so quick and I will have you all to myself.” He says. 

You swallow hard, knowing that isn’t true anymore.

“I love you, have a good show tonight.” You say.

“Thanks my girl, love you too, so much. Later.” He says ending the call.

All you can think about is how this will ruin his career, everything he has ever worked for. You burry your face into your pillow and cry some more. 

.

.

.

.

Three agonizing weeks pass, and you still haven’t told Jake. How do you tell someone something like this. Something that is not what either of you want. You have been so stressed about everything that you have essentially stopped taking care of yourself. Doing the bare minimum to survive. 

You want to try and relax tonight so you decide to do a self care night with a long shower, and an extra long skin care routine. You eat your favorite dinner and watch your favorite movie. You are feeling much better and you know that Jake will be calling you any minute. He has made it almost a routine to call you every off night around 10pm, which is around 10am his time. He missed last night so you are excited to talk to him tonight. You finish your movie and are about to go get in bed when you realize it's almost 11:30 and you haven’t heard from Jake at all. He must have had a busy night for once you laugh to yourself.

You tuck yourself into your bed, imagining it was Jake’s big fluffy bed, and scroll through instagram. You realize that you never followed Jake’s page and you search him, and follow him. You look through all the pictures, your heart constricting when you see his smile when he is with his brothers, and his very serious playing face. You click over to his tagged photos and something catches your eye causing your heart to beat hard in your chest. 

Jake is tagged in a photo with someone else. The photo is of him, a dark haired girl who is resting her hand on his chest, almost too intimately. His arm is around her waist and Josh and another girl are in a similar position next to them. You click on her profile and see that she posted this photo about 10 hours ago. Last night. When Jake ‘forgot’ you charge his phone.

You click to watch her story on her page and you see videos of all the guys out at dinner last night, each of them paired up and sitting with a gorgeous girl. The same one sitting next to Jake, with his arm propped around the back of her chair. 

The next story shows them drinking together, and everyone is laughing and having a good time only adding to your shock.  

Her last story post is a picture of her kissing his cheek as he poses with his drink with a smirk.

You’ve seen enough and turn off your phone throwing it across the bed. Heart breaking at the thought of him with someone else while you’re here. Like this.

A small tear leaves the corner of your eye. You can’t help but feel like he lied to you when he said he forgot the charge his phone, and tonight when he didn’t call. You brush it off, though. He loves you. He tells you every single day. You go to bed hoping tomorrow when you talk to him, he will explain everything and put your mind at ease. 

When the morning comes you see that your brain has let you sleep in as it is nearly 11:00. You sit up and grab your cell phone from the floor. You must have kicked it off in your sleep last night. You turn it on and see you have a text from Jake.

Jake: I’ve have had a busy couple of days… I haven’t forgotten about you. Love you.

You: Ok.

Jake: Please don’t be mad. 

You: I’m not.

You put your phone on the charger and get up to start your day. You have a follow up appointment today at your doctors office and you are already a bundle of nerves thinking about it. You are supposed to be able to hear the heartbeat today, or see it flickering according to the extensive research you have been conducting. You know that Jake will be home in a week and you have put off telling him. 

As you arrive at the doctors office you repeat the same process as the first time, pee in a cup, wait in the room long enough to second guess every choice you’ve ever made in your life, and then the doctor finally comes in. 

“According to your chart you should be around 7.5 weeks?” She asks.

“Yes.” You reply.

She grabs the ultrasound machine pulling it close to you and inserts the wand. Your heart almost stops when you see the shape of the tiniest little baby floating in the black blob on the screen. 

“This right here, is the baby. This is the umbilical cord, and this here is your placenta.” She says pointing out every thing on the screen. “I am going to take some measurements and check the heart rate. Can you see this little flickering right here? Thats the heart beating. 90bpm heart rate.” She says clicking around on the screen. Your own heart is pounding in your chest. That is a baby, and its growing inside of you. Your mind jumps immediately to Jake. What would he say? What would he do if he got to see this? He would want to be here for this. 

“So the baby is measuring about 6 weeks 4 days, which is about a week behind, but nothing to worry about. This happens sometimes.” She says. “I will have you come in again next week and we will check again, but right now everything looks good.” 

“Could I have a print of this?” You ask pointing to the screen.

“Of course.” She says, sending it to print.

As you get in the car you sit and stare at the tiny baby in the picture and your heart fills with sadness, but also something else… love. Seeing it again today, you realize that it doesn’t matter to you who’s baby it is, you’re its mother, and your body grew this. This perfect little baby. You drive home, and place the ultrasound photo on your refrigerator. You may be coming around to the idea of this. Maybe its not such a horrible thing. Maybe this is how your life was always meant to be. 

You know you have to tell Jake, and that is the worst part. What if he doesn’t want this? How could he? He is a rockstar that is literally across the world right now living his dream. He is not going to give that up for you and a baby. You know this, and accept the reality that this is what will ultimately end it for good. You think about the photos you saw of him last night with that girl wrapped around him and you know he isn’t ready to give up that life. Your heart breaks at the thought of being without him.

You grab your phone from your purse and see you have 2 missed calls and a slew of texts from Jake that you haven’t replied to.

Jake: Miss you. Love you.

Jake: Can’t wait to see you so soon.

Jake: Are you mad at me?

Jake: Call me.

You check the clock and see that it is 1pm, meaning it is 1am where he is. The chances are high that he is asleep but you call him anyways. It rings a few times and he answers.

“Ahhhhh Baby. Why have you been ignoring me all day, why are you mad?” He asks with a sleepy voice. You must have woken him up.

“I don’t know Jake, I didn’t hear from you for a few days. You looked awful cozy with that girl the other night.” You reply. You don’t know what came over you to say that, must be the extra hormones. 

“What girl? What are you talking about?” He asks.

“The one that tagged you in the pictures and stories on Instagram” you reply. “You two were all over each other, and then you didn’t call me or text me for like 2 or 3 days Jake….” You reply.

“No, you’ve got it all wrong. This is why I hate social media. I promise that nothing happened with that girl, we were all just being friendly. Im sorry my love.” He says, but you feel like he is holding back the truth.

“Im sorry, I just don’t believe you.” You say. “When are you supposed to be home Jake? We need to talk.” 

“Day after tomorrow… sugar, what’s going on…You said you weren’t going to leave again, you promised.”

You burst into tears, “I don’t want to leave you Jake, its not even about the girl. Im just emotional I don’t know what’s wrong with me…” you cry into the phone.

“Woah, baby you are being so hot and cold with me. Is everything okay?” He asks.

“I just really need to talk to you, in person.” You reply.

“You are scaring me. What is going on?” He asks sternly. “In fact….”

You hear the FaceTime tone ringing through the ear piece and you answer. 

His sleepy face shows up on your screen and you see him reach to turn a light on.

He is so gorgeous, you remember why you fell in love with him. He sits up and clears his throat.

“Alright darlin, you need to tell me what’s going on, because I will be god damned if I am going to lose you again when I am half way across the world.” He says as you stare at him with longing eyes.

“Please say something!” He says. 

“Jake I would really rather do this in person…” you reply.

“Dammit no! Do it now!” He yells.

A tear falls down your face as all the emotions you have been hiding from him come to the surface. You just stare at his beautiful face through the tiny screen knowing that your next words could change the trajectory of your relationship with him.

“Jake, I’m pregnant.” You say looking down before looking up to his eyes. 

His face is completely shocked, and he is speechless.

“No, thats not possible you have an IUD, you told me you did….” He stammers.

“It failed, Jake…” you reply.

“Oh fuck…” he says “Are you, sure?”

“Yeah, I am. Its actually been a few weeks… I just… I didn’t know how to tell you because, i’m not even sure if…” you cry

“You’re not sure if what?” He says yelling. “If it’s mine? Well its real simple, are you fucking someone else?”

“No Jake, but I don’t know….” You sob.

“Did you fuck someone else! Just answer the question!” He says.

“No Jake, I didn’t. But it would have happened the same night as…” you stop sucking in a deep breath.

“Oh fuck, don’t even tell me… Don’t even say it…. Jesus Christ…” he says panicking. “No you… no, there was a condom on the floor… I saw it!” he pleads.

“I know, but I don’t know if that was his, or someone else’s… I don’t know anything. All I know is that, that night before the party we….” You gesture between the two of you,  “And then at the party he…”  you finish.

“FUCK!” he yells slamming his phone down on the bed. The call ends. You wait to see if he calls back but he doesn’t. 

After minutes pass you send him a text.

You: Jake, please. Say something. Anything.

Jake: I don’t know what to say.

You: I’m sorry.

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Silence. Its complete silence. You haven’t heard anything from Jake. You knew the possibility of this was high. You can’t do this alone. You feel like your world is moving in slow motion. You fall asleep on your couch that night, tears never stopping and praying your phone would ring.

.

.

Pounding. Your head is pounding. You open your eyes and realize it is morning. The pounding isn’t coming from your head. Its coming from your door. Someone is beating on your door.

You check your phone, its 11:30 in the afternoon…. You jump up and run the sleeves of Jakes hoodie over your eyes. You open the door, and are met with what you never expected. Jake.

He grabs you in his arms hugging you lifting you off the ground and kissing your face over and over.

You immediately begin to cry because you are so overwhelmed. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in India?” You cry into his shoulder as he walks in the door, shutting it behind him.

“I was, I got the first flight back. I had no choice but to come straight here. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me—that you have been keeping this a secret this whole time…” he replies. 

“I was scared! This isn’t what you wanted! This will ruin everything! I don’t even know if it’s yours!” You cry.

“Hey, its okay. Everything will be okay.” He says rubbing your face with his thumbs.

“As far as I’m concerned, it’s mine. Always has been. And I do want this, are you kidding me?”

“What?” You ask shocked.

“What, did you think I was going to leave you? Alone with my baby? I may not have wanted this right now, but I do want it. With you. The whole plane ride over all I could think about was you. All I ever looked for, searched for, wanted my whole life, is this, with you. I love you, do you get that? I will never let you go. This baby included. If now is when it all happens then so be it. ”

As the tears fall from your eyes your lips meet his in a kiss that says everything you haven’t been able to say. 

“I was so scared Jake, I didn’t know what I was going to do. You were going to leave me, and I was going to have to keep loving you from afar….with a baby that looked just like you….” You cry. 

“How could you ever think that….” He says pulling you in for another kiss. “I have missed you so much. I am so happy to see you my girl. As for those pictures you saw… those girls ran the coordination for this little leg of tour, they did all the translating and what not. They were overly friendly that night, and Danny actually put them in their place later after she tagged all of us in those photos. I was so drunk all I talked about was you the whole night. I thought Josh was going to kill me. By the time I got back to my room, my phone was dead and I passed out. I am so sorry I fucked up like that. That was truly my mistake.” 

“Baby, it’s okay. I was just overly emotional.” You say pointing to your belly. 

He looks down and a soft smile crosses his face. “Can I…” he asks grabbing the hem of the hoodie.

You nod. 

He kneels down and pushes the hoodie up revealing the soft skin of your stomach pressing a soft kiss to the area right below your belly button and whispering so faintly you almost didn’t catch it, “I’ll never leave you.”

Your heart melts into a puddle and your eyes fill with tears.

“Do you want to… see?” You ask.

He looks up at you standing and nodding his head. You walk to your fridge and remove the tiny picture from under the magnet. You hand him the photo and sit down next to him on the couch.  He stares it at running his fingers over the tiny blob before he looks up to you. “It’s perfect. I can’t wait. ” He says staring at the picture. 

“I love you.” He says sincerely, looking into your soul.

“I love you too, Jake.” You reply as his lips meet yours. 

For the next week Jake never leaves your side. He spends every moment caring for you and talking about the future. A possibility that you never considered. You were so sure that he wouldn’t want this life, that he would want nothing to do with this. But he’s here. He came running. Straight to you.

You have spent most nights back at his house because he knows how much you love his bed, and you do. You sleep better with him next to you. Jake has talked all week about going to the appointment with you today. He can’t wait to see it for himself. He is the first one up today showering and getting ready, bringing you coffee. You smell it before you can even open your eyes. 

“Coffee, my love?” He whispers next to your ear.

“Mmmmm, thank you. You’re up early.” You reply.

“I am just anxious. This is what happens… my brain just turns on and I pace around and keep myself busy.” He says.

“Are you nervous babe?” You ask him.

“I mean, a little bit. Its a baby! My baby.” He says kissing your head.

“Love you” you say with a yawn. 

“Love you too darlin.” He replies.

On the way to the appointment you are nervous. You both are. You can tell that Jake is anxious by the bouncing of his leg as he drives. As you pull into the parking lot you stop and grab his hand. 

“Its going to be okay, right? We will make it work?” You ask nervously.

“Everything is perfect, you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, and you have my baby inside of you. Of course everything is okay, better than okay. Exactly as it should be. ” He says squeezing your hand. 

You make you way inside, wait until you hear your name called and you both walk back. You dress in the pink paper gown and sit on the table. Jake sits in a small chair by the door, his leg bouncing against the floor again. You make small talk to pass the time. The doctor knocks on the door and enters with a smile and introduces her self to Jake before turning to you.

“Hi, how are you doing?” She asks.

“I am great, but anxious.” She replies.

“That is completely normal.” She says pulling her gloves on.

“Would you like to take a look?” She says to Jake.

The cold wand enters you and the screen flickers with the black and white images.

“Alright, let’s see.” She says moving around to find the baby. It looks the same as you remember. 

“So here is the baby, i’m just going to do a few measurements and grab the heart rate.” She says moving the wand around in different positions. 

Jake is absolutely beaming and hand your hand in his bringing it up to his lips. 

She turns the screen to face her. And begins moving the wand around more with a solemn look on her face.

“I’m so sorry but I cannot find the heartbeat. I am going to go grab another doctor to confirm.” She says.

The blood drains from your face and you turn to Jake who is staring at you.

She leaves the room and you begin to panic.  

“Don’t worry baby, it’s okay.” Jake says trying to be reassuring, looking around the room nervously.

The doctor re-enters this time with another behind her. 

“Hi, I am just going to confirm for you.” She says sitting down and putting on gloves before searching with the wand. 

You and Jake stare at each other silently speaking with your eyes. It feels like an eternity has passed. 

“I’m really sorry sweetheart but unfortunately there is no heart beat present. It looks like the growth stopped about a week ago. I believe you are miscarrying at this time.” She stands up and walks out, your doctor thanking her.

“I am very sorry, this unfortunately happens sometimes. Usually it’s due to a genetic abnormality and you have done nothing wrong.” 

Your doctor says.

Jake brings your shaking hand to his lips just holding it there before bending his head down and resting your hands on his forehead. You can tell he is heartbroken.

“I wil give you two a moment. I am going to come back with some information for you.” She says shutting the door behind her.

“Jake… I….” You burst into tears.

“Baby, this is not your fault. This happens. I hate it so fucking much but it does happen. It doesn’t change anything between us.” He says.

He stands up and pulls you to your feet just holding you in his arms as you sob.

“But I wanted it. I wanted it to be yours. I wanted this! I was just scared and now it’s gone!” You cry.

“I wanted it too my love, I really did, and it will be mine…Ours. One day. I promise.” He says softly into your ear. “I love you so much.”

You continue to sob as he holds you.

.

.

.

Fin.

[pancakes4two]

that summer feelin’ | two

preview:

“Thank you,” Harry says sincerely. “Now, let me be honest for a minute. You can’t make fun of me or call me stupid in your head for saying this, okay?”

“I can’t guarantee that,” you banter back, playfully flicking your hand in the air.

“At least make an effort not to make fun of me.”

“Okay,” you concede.

“You’re very pretty,” is what comes out of Harry’s mouth. He makes eye contact right when he says it, and stares at you so openly and honestly that you can’t even bring yourself to make a joke out of the bold admission he just made. It’s annoying, because if it were any other guy sitting in front of you and saying this, you’d get the ick so fast that you’d probably already be on a flight back home right now.

PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART | MY OTHER BLURBS/FICS | SEND ME A REQUEST

chapter 2 - the first recoupling

soundtrack: better than i know myself - del water gap

your pov:

The mood having sufficiently turned sour by the text you just received, you quickly abandon the hugs and introductions you were giving to the girls and start walking towards the fire pit. From the bits of Love Island you actually watched and the general overbearingness of the producers, you could tell that this was a show that was carried by drama. You just didn’t expect that something like a recoupling would happen so fast, let alone on your first night in the villa.

Emi, the girl you were introducing yourself to before suddenly puts a hand on your tense shoulder. She probably sensed that the text threw you off a little. “Hey gal, no worries for the recoupling, yeah?”

“Of course,” you reply, giving her a smile that turns slightly lukewarm. You wished you could’ve gotten a chance to speak to Harry and figure out where his head was at before having to recouple. It’s all a bit unfair, if you’re being completely honest. You’ve been on one date and haven’t been able to speak to any of the other guys in the villa yet. So, your fate is completely in Harry’s hands. If he didn’t feel like getting to know you more, you could pack your bags tonight and end up spending not even one full day in island paradise before heading home.

“No sour faces,” Emi smiles comfortingly and nudges your side. “You had a good time on your date, yeah? And Harry came back all smiley as well. He looked really happy. I’m sure he’ll pick you.”

Harry did seem like he enjoyed himself, you think to yourself in an effort to ease your anxieties. As you and the girls stand side-by-side in front of the fire pit, the boys start to make their way onto the cream-colored couch facing opposite your line. Harry is sitting in the middle, sandwiched between Hunter and Alex. You try and read his expression, but it’s difficult given the two of you have only known each other for a couple of hours.

The first part of the recoupling is rather anti-climactic. The first four boys choose the same girls they were coupled up with in the previous week, not wanting to take risks now that it’s not-so early days anymore. Emi reluctantly leaves your side when Hunter picks her, throwing a reassuring smile over her shoulder as she heads over to sit next to him on the couch, along with the rest of the couples.

On Alex’s turn, he gets up and glances between Lucy and Abigail, who are standing on either side of you. Thankfully, Harry had gotten you a little more up to speed on the island happenings during your date, so you’re not completely lost anymore. You know that Alex has been coupled up with Abigail since week two, but Lucy had kissed him in a challenge earlier this week, and the two of them have been getting to know each other ever since.

Alex takes a deep breath in, rubbing his palms down the side of his shorts. “I’d like to couple up with this girl, because I think it’s pretty clear that we have a connection. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know her more, and I feel like every time that we talk, it’s just effortless. I’m looking forward to seeing what a new week in this villa will bring us, and to be able to share a bed with her for the first time.”

This results in a couple of gasps from the islanders, and you can see Abigail’s smile waver out of the corner of your eye.

“So,” Alex continues, looking a little sheepish, “the girl I’d like to couple up with is Lucy.”

Lucy squeezes your hand and gives Abigail a hug and kisses her cheek before making her way to Alex’s side. The only two girls who are left still standing are you and Abigail, and the last boy to pick is Harry.

Harry stands up, and you silently curse the Love Island producers in your head. His stare is earnest as he looks between you and Abigail, probably weighing his experiences with the two of you in his head. Selfishly, you think that it’d be really unfortunate if he ends up picking Abigail, because you know for a fact there are no guys who look like him back at home.

“Obviously, this is a really tough decision for me to make, because I really enjoyed the date I just had with Y/N,” Harry starts, “but I’m also really grateful to Abigail for saving me at the end of week one after my brief, but failed romance with Emi.”

"You’re welcome for that,” Abigail responds, as the rest of the islanders laugh from the couch.

“I don’t think Abigail’s had enough time to find the right person in the villa yet,” Harry continues. You fidget with the sides of your dress, suddenly feeling nervous that he’s going to pick Abigail instead of you.

“But,” He inhales, “For the first time since coming here, I’ve finally met a girl who I feel like I can genuinely get to know. When I showed up to my date and saw Y/N sitting there in her dress, I genuinely lost the ability to think for a minute. And if that wasn’t already embarrassing enough, the first thing she did after I sat down was scold me for being late.”

You grin and shrug at him playfully. “I had to put you in your place.”

“And that you did!” Harry wags his finger at you. “I like how sure of herself she is, and the fact that we bounce off of each other so easily in conversation. We all know I’ve been on Friend Island these past three weeks, but I’m excited to leave it with her. So, the girl I’d like to couple up with is Y/N.”

You let go of the breath you didn’t even realize you were holding in and walk over to the other side of the fire pit after giving Abigail a hug. Harry wraps an arm around you and pecks your cheek before sitting back down on the couch with you.

“Thanks for picking me,” You whisper to him, letting your hand rest on his knee.

“Who else would I have picked?” He replies cheekily, placing his hand on top of yours.

With Abigail being the only girl not chosen to be in a couple, her phone sounds with a notification.

“Abigail, you are now single and have been dumped from the villa.” She reads off her phone. Everyone gets up off the couch and crowds around her. They comfort her and say their goodbyes, before heading into the villa to help Abigail pack her bags. The night takes on a somber mood as you and the girls fold Abigail’s clothes and place them into her suitcase. Right before she leaves, Abigail catches you alone and motions for you to sit down on the corner of her now-vacant bed.

“I’m so sorry,” you say first as she sits down next to you, pulling up the handle of her suitcase so it’s ready for her to carry when she gets up.

“Don’t be sorry,” Abigail responds sincerely. “Someone has to go home, right? Plus, you’ve not been here a day! I would’ve had words with Harry if he’d chosen me instead of you.”

You laugh and reach for her hand. “It still sucks, though. I’m sorry you didn’t end up finding someone.”

“No worries,” Abigail replies. “You just enjoy cracking on with Harry. He wasn’t for me, but he’s such a sweetie. You’ll have a great time getting to know him. Now, come on, let’s go. I don’t want the producers to come running up here and drag me out of the villa.”

“Thanks,” you say while helping her with her suitcase. “You have fun on the outside world.”

“Oh, I definitely will,” Abigail laughs as the two of you descend the staircase and walk into the foyer, where the rest of the islanders are waiting to say their final goodbyes. “You better not let go of those curls.”

“No promises,” you smile at her, before letting the other girls get their farewell hugs in.

After Abigail has left the villa, Harry pulls you for a chat on the swing seat.

“So, how does it feel now that we’re in a couple?” He says, taking a drink out of his water bottle. “Can’t say I’ve ever moved this fast in a relationship before.”

“Oh, shut up,” you playfully push at his chest. “We’re not actually a couple. I don’t even know your middle name yet.”

“Edward,” is Harry’s response. He looks at you boyishly, like he expects you to make a joke out of the information he’s just given you.

“Sorry?”

“My middle name. It’s Edward.”

“Oh. You do look like an Edward,” you say thoughtfully, pretending to study his features intensely.

“I don’t!” Harry gasps, “I look like a Harry!”

“Woah, why the defensiveness?” You ask, trying to contain your laughter. “What did the name Edward ever do to you?”

“Ugh,” Harry groans, “I just don’t think I look like an Edward at all. It’s an old guy’s name, and I’m nothing if not young.”

“Okay, noted,” you reply through giggles. “You’re not an Edward.”

“Thank you,” Harry says sincerely. “Now, let me be honest for a minute. You can’t make fun of me or call me stupid in your head for saying this, okay?”

“I can’t guarantee that,” you banter back, playfully flicking your hand in the air.

“At least make an effort not to make fun of me.”

“Okay,” you concede.

“You’re very pretty,” is what comes out of Harry’s mouth. He makes eye contact right when he says it, and stares at you so openly and honestly that you can’t even bring yourself to make a joke out of the bold admission he just made. It’s annoying, because if it were any other guy sitting in front of you and saying this, you’d get the ick so fast that you’d probably already be on a flight back home right now. 

You blame your indifference on Harry having pretty privilege.

“You’re very fit,” is what you manage to say back. It annoys you slightly that Harry genuinely looks delighted by your compliment, considering he probably hears the same thing from other girls on a daily basis.

“So you think I’m fit and I think you’re pretty,” He says bluntly, “how great is it that things have worked themselves out so that we’re sharing a bed tonight?”

“Oh shush,” you say, kicking him gently in the leg. You choose to ignore the fact that there’s a flush blooming on your cheeks. This summer will be much more enjoyable for you if all your relationship have zero strings attached.

[captainjonnitkessler]

Yessssssss you’re both awesome

So! Requeening is any time the hive decides to raise a new queen. This can be for a few reasons: The old queen died or was removed by the beekeeper, she’s not laying well or is running out of fertilized eggs and the hive decided to commit a little light regicide, or they’re planning on swarming, in which case the old queen will take half the bees and leave to start a new hive while the newly-raised queen will stay with the rest in the old hive.

The first sign the bees are planning to requeen is when they make a queen cup, which is a large cell that stands out from the rest of the hive.

Usually beekeepers will remove these when they appear to discourage swarming, which keepers normally don’t like because a) it means you lose a hive’s worth of bees, which are expensive and b) neighbors tend to get a little testy when a swarm of tens of thousands of bees descends on their yard no matter how many times you explain that it’s actually really cool and nothing to worry about. WEIRD. Anyway!

If there’s an available queen cup and the old queen thinks its time to either swarm or die, she’ll lay eggs in the queen cups. If the queen had unexpectedly died or been removed, the worker bees will build emergency queen cups around existing eggs or very young larvae. The reason is that all larvae are fed with royal jelly for the first two days or so before getting switched to a mix of pollen and nectar, but a queen bee will receive royal jelly for her whole larva-hood. And that continued feeding of royal jelly is what triggers her development into a queen instead of a worker. So the ideal conditions are an egg laid in a specifically prepared queen cup, because the bees will pack it full of royal jelly to ensure plenty of food for the developing queen. An emergency cell made for an existing larva runs the risk of the queen not fully developing. 

Once the cup has a developing larva in it, the bees build it out large enough to hold the queen, who is much larger than workers. The larva hangs out in there eating for about a week, at which point the bees cap the cell so the bee can finish developing:

After another week or so, the queen emerges! And as her first act as queen, she searches out any other capped queen cells that haven’t yet emerged and murders them. Then she finds any other new queens that HAVE already emerged and murders them too. There’s a lot more murder involved in this than I first guessed!

Then she hangs out in the hive for a few days before going on her mating flight - weather permitting - where she collects all the sperm she will need for the next few years. (Bee sexuality is fucking WILD). Then she returns to the hive, where she will stay until she dies or leaves with a swarm!

So I’ve had two requeens this year. The first was intentional - when I split my one hive into two, I put the existing queen into the new hive and let the old hive raise a new one. Which they took their SWEET TIME about doing - it took about 8 weeks from splitting to seeing eggs in the hive, which is the confirmation that the queen has successfully been raised, mated, and returned safely to the hive. They had me pretty worried, and the strength of the hive took a hit because there were no new eggs being laid during that time, so the worker population took a big dive. But they finally made it and made a great recovery!

The second the bees just did on their own - I’m not sure if the queen died or if they swarmed, but I suspect the queen was failing. In early August I couldn’t spot any eggs and thought they were queenless. Next inspection, I found the queen and figured I’d been wrong. Next week, no eggs again and a dozen queen cells. Two weeks later (had to skip a week) - no queen cells and no eggs. At that point I figured the hive was doomed and was making plans to combine them back with the first hive. Then last week I found plenty of eggs and brood, and then found and was able to mark the new queen. So it was a bit of a roller coaster but now she’s laying really well and since there wasn’t such a big gap between queens the worker population wasn’t as damaged, so they’re still in really good shape for the winter!

And so that’s probably more information than you wanted about the process of requeening. Thank you for asking and giving me an excuse to share!

[the-fiction-witch]

Agent Y/L/N

Media The Queens Gambit

Character Benny Watts

Couple Benny Watts X Reader

Rating Flirty

Concept CIA Operation 197

I sat on the small metal folding chair I had placed by my bed my note bad beside me with the pencil held between my teeth. I folded my grey button down and set it into my Duffle bag taking the pencil from my mouth and checking it off my packing list. Next underpants how many do I need? Well I'm going for two weeks minus the flight there and the flight home. Ummmm no I always do this why do I always do this I always pack way more then I need. I perked up suddenly as I heard a loud knocking on the door of my basement apartment. Immediately I perked out my bedroom door, eyes narrowed with suspicion as the knock came again.

I went over to the door keeping my hand on the hilt of my knife as I unlocked the door and quickly pulled it open being met by a strange sight two men in black suits, and a woman in a long black trench coat with red lipstick and black glasses.

"Mr Benjamin watts?" One man asked

"Who's asking?"

"Agent Franklin and Agent Marshall. CIA" he says grabbing a CIA Badge from his pocket "may we come in"

"Uhh sure" I answered as I couldn't really think of a reason to not let them in. I opened the door letting the three inside shutting the door up again "what's this about?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest getting a better look at these three.

Franklin was a tall but thin guy his suit fit him perfectly I could tell but the fabric of his suit that his pockets had items in and I could see the gun holster on his belt. Marshall was a bigger guy definitely someone I wouldn't wanna take on a fight he held a small brown envelope sealed up.

And then this girl who was yet to say a word, she wore black knee high boots with sharp heels, her body hidden below the long trench coat that met her boots and went down to her wrists. The buttons all done up and the waistband tied around her. A red turtleneck all I could see above the jacket stopping just below her jaw, it matches her lipstick. Her hair pulled into a tight bun without any bangs to speak of, her hair flat possibly even gelled down to her head her expression hidden below her dark sunglasses.

"We have come to ask you a few questions"

"About what?" I asked

"Your allegiance"

"Allegiance?" I chuckled but his face made it clear he wasn't joking "how so?"

"You depart for Moscow tomorrow if I'm not mistaken?"

"Yeah"

"You've been to Moscow more than once"

"Yeah Moscow Invitational happens end of every chess season US champion gets invited. I haven't got to all of them during time as US champion for one reason or another but I've been enough" I explained

"You read the paper Mr Watts?"

"What concerns me yes"

"Then surely you'd know about the situation"

"The situation?"

"The Soviet Union committed an unprovoked act of aggression"

"Unprovoked?" I asked but given the look I got probably not the time "So what's that got to do with me?"

"How do you feel about the Soviet Union?"

"What do you mean how do I feel about it?"

"Do you like Moscow?"

"It's cold. It's a very impressive place from a design perspective. The places they take us to play chess are always amazing. Foods a bit shit"

"Would you go to Moscow without having a chess match to play?"

"No."

"How do you feel about the Soviets"

"They're smart. Clever. They work as teams which can really bite you in the ass if your not careful they help each other out something no American players do" I explained

"Why do you think that?"

"I don't think that I know that. We're all such individualists"

"That your thoughts on it?" He glared at me moving closer resting his hand on his gun and exposing that he had handcuffs in him and suddenly it all clicked why they were here and what it was they wanted to know.

"I'm a chess player. I'm not a fucking communist"

"Just checking," he says "but that's not why we're here"

"What is then?"

"We have a… proposition for you"

"A proposition? What kind of proposition?"

"We will cover your trips expenses. All of them"

"All of them?!"

"All of them"

"In return for what?"

"For giving one of our agents a cover story. As I'm sure you can imagine we have information coming and going at all times meaning agents coming and going at all times. What you have is an excuse for one of our agents to be in the country" he explained the other agent handing over his protected envelope

"You want me to help sneak a CIA agent into the Soviet Union?"

"Correction sneak in and back out." He explained

I opened the envelope seeing arrangements they had made they'd paid off my hotel, changed my tickets for a more private flight, an even a bunch of cash, along with a few agreements to sign and a few concepts for cover stories.

"Half now. And half when our agent is back on US soil"

"I'll be busy I have matches to play"

"Our agent can take care of themselves they just need an in and an out that's not too suspicious"

"What do I get out of this?"

"The cash. And supporting your country"

"Couldn't give much of a shit about this country"

"Your American are you not?"

"I am"

"You not proud of that?"

"I'm proud of who I am, what I've done, where I've been, regardless of whatever country my mother happened to be in when I fell out of her"

"All we need is you to get them in and get them out. You can play your game all you want in between"

"And you'll pay all my expenses?"

"Yes."

I thorough about it for a moment. I didn't like it, or would be risky, but I can't pass up that kinda money that meant all the chess federation funding and the church money I could use for my own ends. And god knows I need some cash. "...deal" I sighed

He made me sign paperwork to agree to do with most of it all swearing to secrecy and he took his paperwork back leaving me with the envelope of cash. "Where's this agent then? if the flight leaves at ten tomorrow things need sorting out before we board the plane" I explain

"Agent y/l/n" she spoke up until not I'd kinda forgot about the girl, she removed her glasses setting them in her pocket and offering her hand

"Pleasure" I smiled taking her hand

She smirked slightly tightened her grip slightly digging her blood red nails into my hand as she moved by hand to her own lips giving my hand a kiss

The three of them then left my apartment for a moment I had to kinda recoup after all that and a few moments later she returned with a bag.

"Flight leaves at ten tomorrow best I stay. Gives you time to get comfortable and get cover stories straight" she explained shutting my door and coming in putting her bag in the table

"Yeah course I'll uhh I'll put the air bed up for you"

"Good. The cover story I would recommend is siblings"

"Ahh no I uhh I have been vocal to chess review about being an only child"

Perfect Relationship it is then. The cover is relationship pre engagement but heading there that then gives us excuses for traveling together as well as having separate hotel rooms given the expecation of using church funding fus haing to cater to their views, and yet taking breakfast and dinner together." She explained

"Uuuhhh yeah sounds good"

"Good." She says unbuttoning her jacket until she completely slipped it off her body leaving her in those heeled black boots, black sheer stockings, a skin tight high waisted skirt that didn't even hit her mid thigh and a red turtle neck jumper with long sleeves, it was pretty clear she didn't have a bra on given I couldn't see… everything. And honestly given how tight the skirt was I wasn't convinced she had panties on either. she set her jacket ontop of her bag resting her hands on the back of her hips "where's your bag?"

"What?" I asked being a little out of it for a second

"Your bag. Let me sort through it. Trust me Soviet passport control can tell the difference between a bag packed by a man and packed by a woman. So where is it? I'll make my adjustments and leave you to your business"

"Uhhh yeah on the bed. I'm still packings thought"

"you have a list?"

"Yes"

"Good. I'll pack the rest for you" she says walking past me and into my bedroom

"Uhh okay"