#for insta and IF i try threads again

[bebewrites]

today marks a full week off of meta apps (specifically for the boycott.) i deleted all meta apps from my phone, except for instagram because i run the work insta for my day job. (but i signed out of my personal accounts.) i hardly use facebook anyway, but i’ve decided not to put fb and threads back on my phone. i did miss instagram because of a few accounts i follow, but it was a lot easier to stay off of it than i thought it would be. i’m signing back into my personal accounts tonight but planning to limit my ig time.

all of this to say, i don’t think my mental health would have survived the past week if i hadn’t gotten rid of these apps. and if you’re considering getting rid of them or find yourself doomscrolling, TRY IT. (if you can, i know so many people depend on these apps for work/income reasons.) give it a week and see how you feel. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

[hearts4hughes]

hiii can do an bsf!rafe where y/n posts to insta in a teeny bikini knowing it'll piss rafe off and topper and kelce screenshot it and make comments ab it to rafe in a kook boys group chat and he's alr pissed ab it bc y/n is on vacation for the weekend and he secretly misses her and is grumpy in general and this post and topper and kelce's comments, plus whatever creepy kooks comment on y/n's post are not making his day better and she is in for it when she gets home?? no worries if not-🪩💗

you wore that on purpose. you knew exactly what you were doing. because he’s not there and you left for some girls’ trip to sullivan’s island with a tan canvas duffel and a smug little “don’t miss me too much,” tossed over your shoulder like he doesn’t already feel weirdly itchy when you’re out of his sight too long.

he’s been pretending like he doesn’t miss you. like your absences doesn’t create a y/n shaped hole in his heart. he texts you every morning, calls every night, and refreshes your socials every hour just to make sure he’s not missing anything. he keeps tabs on your location from the tracker he told you to put on before you left.

it was all going just swell. that was until topper sent the screenshot. rafe picked up his phone to check the notification just like he usually does. but when the photo finally loaded and it was of you—in two strings that you call a bikini—his ears were ringing.

cocaine cowboys gc

top: ur girl is lookin nice cameron😛

kelce: damnnnnn

kelce: you approve this before she posted bud?

rafe: shut the fuck up before i skin you both alive

top: trouble in paradise huh?

oh, he wants to laugh. he wants to brush it off. but he’s too busy gripping his phone so hard his thumb cracks the edge of his case. it’s not even that you’re doing anything, really. it’s the knowing look in your eyes. the stupidly tiny triangle of your bikini top. the little caption, kissed by the sun, not by you☀️. and the string of heart eye emojis from random kooks in the comments.

(he blocks two of them. he doesn’t care. one of them went to tannyhill once and looked at you too long. rafe remembers everything.)

he shuts off his phone and places it down to fight the urge to throw it against the nearest wall. his entire body runs warm. his breathing grows shallow and steam rolls out of his ears. he doesn’t call or text you for the rest of the trip.

~

you roll up to your driveway with a fresh tan, rosy cheeks, and a best friend ready to kill. you barely get the chance to park before he’s ripping the door of your mercedes open and sliding into the passenger’s seat.

you take one look at his red cheeks and dark eyes and you hold back a grin: “jesus—rafe, hi?” you barely get the word out before his palm finds your thigh, warm and possessive. like it’s just sitting there. like it belongs there.

“don’t hi me,” he mutters. jaw sharp, teeth clenched. his hat is pulled low and backwards, but you can still see how wild his eyes are.

you try to play innocent. “missed you too, honey.” his fingers dig into the skin of your plush thigh. his cheeks match the pink interior of your car.

“you think that’s funny?” he growls, lips pressed into a tight line like it physically hurts to stand there. his chest heaves with something mean.

your stomach flips. but you’re still playing the game. “think what’s funny?” you bat your freshly laminated lashes and pout your lipglossed lips, feigning complete innocence. he swallows harshly.

“posting your ass all over the internet like you don’t know what that does to me,” he snaps. “like you weren’t counting the seconds till topper texted me.”

you blink up at him. “topper texted you?”

he laughs. dark. bitter. “everyone texted me. kelce, jj, fucking some guy named wyatt in your comments. who the fuck is wyatt, y/n?”

“just a friend,” you hum, and that’s the last thread he’s got.

“you think this shit’s cute?” he grits. his hand slides further up your leg, under the hem of your shorts now. “you do this again, baby, and i’ll remind you real fast who you belong to.”

your breath hitches. your heart does that annoying flutter ache thing in your chest. but still, you give him that look—lashes low, mouth curved.

“you jealous, rafe?” your words drip with honey and everything sweet. he held back a moan at how delectable you sounded when you said his name. he was a pathetic man at your complete will.

he doesn’t answer. just stares at you for a beat, unreadable, before dragging you across the console into his lap. “i missed you,” he says finally, all rough and low against your ear. like it’s the first time he’s admitted it out loud. “but you make it really hard not to lose my fucking mind.”

your voice is breathy. “you already did.”

“yeah,” he mutters, brushing his nose along your jaw, “and you’re gonna pay for it.”

and all you do is grin like a girl who got exactly what she wanted.

taglist ~ @ren-ni @bungurus @kayperrysinging @cupids-diner @mojitrvo @babygirlboeser @makiplan @ladyatwalmart @qversazex @favbrnette @nothingtosee333her @soft-starr @f10werfae @bibissparkles @brennanyay @grungefck @kravinoffswife @restinpaece @illumoria @meetmeintheemeraldpool @miaaaoa @imtalkinnonsense @strawberrymilk99 @angel06babysworld @rafesteddy @drewrry

[checkeredflagggs]

Finally

Pairing: lando norris x girlfriend!reader

summary: lando’s girlfriend finally graduates from college and comes along on for this amazing season

a/n: well…this didn’t start out as a girlfriend piece…but it got away from me and did like 12 different 180° that never quite led back to the same direction…

a/n2: what a season! 2024 was my first season as an f1 fan and wow!! It was crazy and wild and wonderful and enough for it to gain another lifelong fan

a/n3: fuck McLaren but congrats to Lando and Oscar

How He Got The Girl

papaya_girl

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papaya_girl: gotta soak up all the time with him as i can since he’s gonna leave me all alone to go…let me check…do his job?? Idk what that’s all about

view all comments

user1: you’re just checking off the boyfriend date list aren’t you??

↳user2: no but for real…an aquarium date, home cooking, beach date, and an art exhibit?

↳user1: be real landonorris did you just google good date ideas?

oscarpiastri: you trust him to cook??

↳papaya_girl: i was supervising very closely

↳oscarpiastri: still…

↳landonorris: oi! Have a little faith

↳oscarpiastri: I’ve seen you burn water trying to make insta noodles

↳papaya_girl: oh good lord

↳landonorris: that was ONE TIME

↳oscarpiastri: it was not.

↳papaya_girl: lando…

user3: god to be them… I wouldn’t leave you alone like this!

landonorris: easy solution! Drop out of school and come with me!

↳papaya_girl: no!

↳landonorris: but then we wouldn’t be apart anymore!

↳maxfewtrell: don’t listen to him. One of you has to be educated

↳landonorris: oi!

↳papaya_girl: 😂😂

user4: i saw them! I was the one to take that picture of them at the Van Gogh exhibit!

↳user5: seriously!

↳papaya_girl: thank you for sending it to me! You’ve got an eye for good photos

↳user4: oh my god thank you!!

↳landonorris: all photos of you are amazing because they have you in them!

↳papaya_girl: cheesy

↳user4: ok you’re both stunning but on my comment thread?

alex_albon: you can keep him? I don’t think mclaren actually need him tbh

↳landonorris: HEY!

↳mclaren: sorry papaya_girl but it’s our turn with him now

↳papaya_girl: …I guess I can loan him out for a couple of weeks but you gotta feed him and let him get his exercise and come summer he’s mine again!

↳mclaren: pinky promise!

↳landonorris: WHAT?? This makes me sound like I’m a dog!!!

↳mclaren: we got your briefing packet and we’ll follow it to a T

↳landonorris: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? papaya_girl?? mclaren???

↳papaya_girl: I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this…

papaya_girl

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papaya_girl: I’m unloved... Carelessly I’ve been abandoned…when will I find someone who loves me like that one guy loves his orange car…

view all comments

user6: god i volunteer

↳landonorris: nope! Try again

landonorris: I didn’t abandon you! Say the word and I’ll have plane tickets and an uber waiting for you

↳papaya_girl: I’ve never been so alone…it’s like I can hear his voice still…

↳oscarpiastri: that’s a haunting if I ever heard of one. You should call someone about that

↳landonorris: stop telling people i abandoned you! Or letting people think I’ve died!

↳papaya_girl: it’s like he’s still here, with me…

↳user7: girl I think you might be stressing Lando into an early heart attack

↳landonorris: SHE IS

user8: yes yes yes, you’ve been abandoned and left alone but girl…1) what are you studying and 2) your handwriting is so pretty!

↳papaya_girl: well I’m conflicted on answering cause on one hand you are minimizing my trauma but on the other hand that’s a nice compliment…

↳user9: (respectfully??)

↳papaya_girl: I guess that works… creative writing!

↳user10: damn…pretty and smart

↳papaya_girl: you know it!

↳landonorris: AND ALL MINE! BACK OFF ����🤺🤺

alex_albon: we wouldn’t abandon you papaya_girl

↳lilymhe: no we wouldn’t! We’ve got 2 hands for a reason

↳papaya_girl: packing my bags literally right now

↳landonorris: NO! BACK! OFF!! SHES MINE

↳papaya_girl: there it is again! His voice haunts me…

↳landonorris: I’m literally breaking down right now

maxverstappen1: I know some people. I can introduce you if you’d like?

↳papaya_girl: I’ll think about it!

↳landonorris: I’m going to run you over maxverstappen1. Stop trying to steal my girlfriend

↳maxverstappen1: mclaren you seeing this?

↳mclaren: 🧐🧐🧐

↳landonorris: THEY KEEP TRYING TO TAKE MY GIRLFRIEND

↳mclaren: don’t worry max, he’s got pr training scheduled in the morning

↳landonorris: I do??

↳mclaren: yup!

↳landonorris: fuck

↳maxverstappen1: 😂😂

user11: dude can’t catch a break…his girlfriend thinks he’s gone and his friends are helping her move on…

↳landonorris: THERE! WILL! BE! NO! MOVING! ON!!

↳landonorris: IM! NOT! DEAD! OR! GONE!!

↳user11: …ok there dude. Take a deep breath…

landonorris

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landonorris: SHES DONE! AND NOW SHES MINE!!

view all comments

user12: omg congrats!

↳user13: man oh man i know that feeling all too well

oscarpiastri: congrats papaya_girl! Now hurry up and join us — I can’t stand his moping anymore

↳landonorris: you muppet! I don’t mope!

↳papaya_girl: you don’t miss me??? 🥺🥺🥺

↳landonorris: of course I do!

↳oscarpiastri: so you do mope

↳papaya_girl: awwww

↳landonorris: you’re not allowed to gang up on me yet! You’re not even here!

↳papaya_girl: soon! I’ve just got a couple of things to wrap up before I leave!

↳landonorris: what??

↳papaya_girl: sorry baby

user14: season of graduates!

↳user15: woohoo!

↳papaya_girl: we did it! 🎉🥳

↳user15: yay!

↳user14: it was definitely iffy for a while there…

↳papaya_girl: you know it 😭

alex_albon: you mean we have to wait even longer before lando stops moping???

↳landonorris: I DONT MOPE. LEAVE ME ALONE

↳alex_albon: dude you mope like crazy

↳landonorris: no I don’t!

↳alex_albon: you do

↳oscarpiastri: you do

↳lilymhe: you do

↳charles_leclerc: you do

↳maxfewtrell: you do

↳maxverstappen1: you do

↳carlossainz55: you do

↳mclaren: you do

↳papaya_girl: you do 🤭🥰

user16: did lando really fly out in the middle of a triple header just to watch his girl graduate??

↳oscarpiastri: he made it very clear he wasn’t going to miss it…especially when it got moved to a Tuesday for some reason

↳papaya_girl: gotta love faulty plumbing I guess

↳oscarpiastri: if you say so…

↳landonorris: and me??

↳oscarpiastri: what?

↳landonorris: not you. papaya_girl??

↳papaya_girl: yes I love you too

↳landonorris: 🥰😍🥰😍🥰🥰😍🥰🥰😍😍🥰

↳papaya_girl: 😘🧡

↳user16: oh he’s down bad…

papaya_girl

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papaya_girl: thanks to mclaren for giving my boyfriend another round of pr training! And thanks to Oscar for stealing his phone!

view all comments

user17: did you get mclaren to give him pr training just so you could secretly travel to meet up with him?

↳papaya_girl: yup!

↳user17: iconic

oscarpiastri: gotta admit — it was hard getting that phone away from him. He had a damn grip on it

↳papaya_girl: he always does!

↳papaya_girl: and it might have been partly my fault? I was texting him at the time…

↳oscarpiastri: 😑😑😑

↳papaya_girl: 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

↳oscarpiastri: need I remind you this was your plan?

↳papaya_girl: so I love texting my boyfriend…sue me

↳oscarpiastri: 🙄🙄

user18: god I’m so so so ready for papaya_girl track fits…

↳user20: I’m ready for the nonstop videos of them just 😍😍😍 at each other while ignoring everyone around them

↳papaya_girl: ok let’s roll it back a little…

↳user18: oops

↳papaya_girl: my fits will be comfortable and I do Not ignore other people while with lando

↳papaya_girl: I just have eyes for lando only

↳user20: iconic

↳user18: oh mood

↳papaya_girl: uhhh back off? He’s mine

alex_albon: oh thank god I don’t know how many more times I could listen to him moping and missing you

↳carlossainz55: you thought you had it bad??

↳oscarpiastri: oh I’ll beat you both in this fight

↳maxfewtrell: really?

mclaren: anything for you girl!

↳papaya_girl: 😘🧡💋

↳mclaren: ☺️☺️☺️

papaya_girl

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papaya_girl: omg i forgot how much orange is not my color…

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user21: oh my god did you see lando when she appeared from around the corner???

↳user22: ohhhh the way he just slammed on the brakes and stared at her…

↳user21: their run towards one another is gonna be a staple on booktok for years!

↳user23: she’s stronger than me cause if my man looked at me like that he would NOT be going on to media duties afterwards…

↳user21: oh that’s a mood

user24: the way he dragged her around on his media duties…😍😍

↳user25: ok you say he dragged her but 100% she had the same tight ass grip on his hand

↳user24: oh yeah no — no one was gonna get her to leave his side today

↳papaya_girl: they were not!

landonorris: it’s papaya love and you look amazing in it! Especially when it’s got the #4 on it!

↳papaya_girl: ok I know you’re trying to be sweet but ORANGE is not my color and not even your number is enough to save it

↳landonorris: ��🥺🥺

↳papaya_girl: oh don’t worry baby I’ll still wear your number but it’ll be in a nice cool black

↳landonorris: good! Let everyone know you’re mine

↳papaya_girl: always baby

↳landonorris: 🥰🥰🥰

↳oscarpiastri: this is what I have to look forward to now isn’t it?

↳danielricciardo: from experience? Yes

↳carlossainz55: all the time. You won’t be able to get away from it

↳landonorris: you muppets! Go away

user26: god I need me a man that looks at me the way Lando looks at his girl…

↳user27: yeeesss

↳papaya_girl: never settle for anything less!

↳user26: got it 🫡

↳papaya_girl: but also return that sediment — don’t let him carry the entire relationship

↳user27: yes ma’am 🫡

mclaren: 🥺

↳papaya_girl: admin i love you but orange is not it

↳mclaren: 😢

↳papaya_girl: sorry not sorry

papaya_girl

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papaya_girl: HE DIDIT!! MY BOY IS A RACE WINNER! P1 BABY!!!!!!!!!! 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

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user28: GO LANDO!!

↳user29: Nowins no longer!

oscarpiastri: congrats man! Fantastic drive!

↳papaya_girl: MY BOU IS ARACE WINNER NKW!!!

↳oscarpiastri: I know. I was there. I’m still there in fact

↳papaya_girl: HE DID ITTTTT!!!!!! 🧡🧡🧡

↳user30: girl is going through it too 😂

user31: that’s our man!!! Woohoo!!

↳papaya_girl: MY MAN ONLY! MY RACE WJNNER!!! BACK OFF 🤺🤺🤺

↳user31: backing off 😂😂 congrats Lando!!

↳papaya_girl: P1!!!!!!!

maxverstappen1: phenomenal drive today man!

↳papaya_girl: P1!!! MY MAN LANDO!!

↳maxverstappen1: yes he did get p1 😂

charles_leclerc: glad to share the podium with you today lando!

↳papaya_girl: HES ON TOP LIKE HE DESERVES!!!

carlossainz55: knew you could do it! ¡Felicidades!

↳papaya_girl: HE DID IT!!

landonorris: P1!!! I FUCKING DID IT!

↳papaya_girl: YOU DID IT LOVE

↳landonorris: couldn’t have done it without you love

↳papaya_girl: YOU ABSOLUTELY COULD HAVE BUT DAMN AM I GLAD TO BE HERE FOR IT!!

papaya_girl

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papaya_girl: P2 or P20, you’re P1 in my heart 🧡

But for real, my love, it’s been something else to be able to watch you race week after week and there isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be! June is over and next is Silverstone!

view all comments

landonorris: that’s so cheesy

↳papaya_girl: I could always leave to start my masters program early??

↳landonorris: nope! I’m gonna handcuff you to me so you can never leave me again

↳papaya_girl: well that’s kinky

↳landonorris: …that’s not a no!

↳maxfewtrell: it is from me. Keep that shit to yourselves!

↳papaya_girl: just say you’re jealous he’s mine and move on

↳landonorris: 🧡🧡

oscarpiastri: fantastic first half of the season so far Lando! We’ll keep pushing

↳landonorris: you know it!

↳papaya_girl: congrats to you too osc on the amazing season so far!

↳oscarpiastri: thanks papaya_girl

user32: GO LANDO!!

↳papaya_girl: WOOHOO!

↳user33: Will you let him know how many fans are supporting him this season??

↳papaya_girl: he absolutely knows but I’ll be sure to tell him again!

↳user32: thank you!

papaya_girl

liked by lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1, landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 2,392,253 others

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papaya_girl: Congratulations Lewis on your historic win today — Phenomenal race! I was glad I was here to see it 🧡

And congrats to my love on P2!

view all comments

user34: it was great to watch!

↳user35: god I’ve missed him on the top step…

↳user34: oh my god same

landonorris: but what about me??

↳papaya_girl: 1) sorry but are you 7 time world champion Lewis Hamilton?

↳landonorris: …I guess not 🥺🥺🥺

↳papaya_girl: 2) scroll through the rest of my page?? It’s literally a digital shrine to you

↳landonorris: it is!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

↳oscarpiastri: oh boy…

↳papaya_girl: I know

↳user36: we don’t! Share with the class please

↳papaya_girl: instead of mopey now he’ll be all cheery and lovey

↳landonorris: yes!!! 🥰😍🧡

↳user37: I mean if you don’t want him…

↳papaya_girl: Back! 🤺 Off! 🤺 He’s! 🤺 Mine! 🤺

lewishamilton: thank you papaya_girl

↳papaya_girl: oh my god Lewis Hamilton replied to me!

↳landonorris: you never act like with me???

↳landonorris: 🥺🥺🥺

↳papaya_girl: sorry but are you 7 time world champion Lewis Hamilton?

↳maxverstappen1: 😂😂😂

charles_leclerc: congrats Lewis!

user38: god I can’t imagine…how ungrateful she is, leaving her boyfriend to be an afterthought???

↳user39: right??? Like almost an entire post dedicated to one of his competitors and he’s just an afterthought

↳papaya_girl: stay crying about it! Lando knows how much he means to me

↳papaya_girl: and believe me — he knows how incredible I thought he was today 🥵😉🤤

↳landonorris: my girl!!

↳user40: the embodiment of “I’ve got your flower baby”

carlossainz55: ¡Felicidades!

georgerussell63: great race Lewis! Great push today — let’s keep the momentum going!

papaya_girl

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papaya_girl: A difficult day today but I’m so so so proud of you my love — best believe this good karma will come around again.

And congratulations to Oscar on his first race win!! 2 orange boys getting their first wins this season!!

view all comments

user41: lowkey difficult to listen to but I did like watching these boys win

↳user42: oh I know. I was stressing and yelling at the tv. My family kept telling me to calm down

oscarpiastri: thanks papaya_girl. And thanks again for the drinks and the congrats cupcake 🧁

↳landonorris: you got a cupcake for your win?? papaya_girl where was mine???

↳papaya_girl: be so for real right now

↳landonorris: I want a cupcake!!

↳papaya_girl: you want a cupcake?? Over the best head of your life??

↳oscarpiastri: ok. I’m gonna shut down this conversation right now

↳papaya_girl: real quick — on the record he wants a cupcake more than sex

↳landonorris: ok let’s not go that far

↳oscarpiastri: let’s not go anywhere. Stop.

user43: mclaren I am in your walls and when I catch you…

↳user44: I know a guy

↳papaya_girl: mildly concerned right now, not gonna lie

↳user44: …he’s a nice guy??

↳papaya_girl: not the vibes I’m getting! Hope this helps

↳user43: 😂😂

landonorris: it papaya!! It’s literally in your name right now!!

↳papaya_girl: it’s still ugly! And not my color!

lewishamilton: great race guys 🖤

↳papaya_girl: oh my god he’s replying to me again 😍😍

↳landonorris: he was congratulating me!!

↳papaya_girl: but he was replying to me!

↳lewishamilton:😂

landonorris

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tagged: landonorris

papaya_girl: this has been such a whirlwind year my love — I’m glad that we were able to take a few weeks to ourselves (and to Taylor Swift) to relax and decompress.

Now onto the second half of the season!!

comments have been restricted

landonorris: this past few weeks have been some of the best of my life baby and it all has to do with you. Best decision I ever made was to ask you out 🧡🧡

↳papaya_girl: awwwww 🥰🥰🥰 easiest yes of my life (ignoring how fast I said yes when you asked if I wanted to go to the eras tour…)

↳landonorris: yes I’m aware I come second to Taylor Swift

↳papaya_girl: noooooooo you’re my favorite person ever (but like if she asked??)

↳landonorris: 🙄🙄🙄 (I get it)

landonorris: and I promise you I’ll make you proud this upcoming second half

↳papaya_girl: my love…

↳papaya_girl: you already do.

↳papaya_girl: I can’t put into words how proud I already am of you

↳papaya_girl: you make me proud every time you get into that car and chase your dreams

↳papaya_girl: I’m never not proud of you

↳landonorris: 🥹😭

↳landonorris: brb gonna go cry my eyes out right now

↳papaya_girl: nooooo come back and let’s cuddle

↳landonorris: …ok 🥺🥺🥺

papaya_girl

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,827,383 others

tagged: landonorris

papaya_girl: OH! MY! GOD! CONGRATULATIONS!! AGAIN!! CAUSE MY LOVE??? YOU’RE A 2 TIME F1 RACE WINNER!!!

It’s been the time of my life watching you this year and to see the first 2 (of many!) of your wins have been some of the best moments of my life.

Congratulations my love — you deserve this and so much more

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user48: OH MY GOD I WAS THERE AND IT WAS INSANE

↳user49: oh my god I bet…Lestappen post race we’re going through it

↳user48: god it was so so so good seeing him too step again

↳papaya_girl: it so so was

oscarpiastri: congrats man! Sad it wasn’t a double podium but great drive today

↳landonorris: oh mclaren 1-2s aren’t over yet!

↳papaya_girl: THEY BETTER NOT BE

↳papaya_girl: YOU GOTTA BE ON TOP MORE OFTEN

↳oscarpiastri: …again??? On my comment thread? TMI guys

↳papaya_girl: totally not what I meant but now that you mention it…Lando meet me in your drivers room, 5 minutes

↳landonorris: 🏃🏻‍♂️💨💨💨

↳oscarpiastri: SERIOUSLY???

user50: is this…is this how max fan’s felt like last year?

↳user51: as a max fan…yes it was. I want it back!

↳papaya_girl: not if we can help it! LN supremacy forever!

↳landonorris: you know it!

↳user50: and if we say LN1??

↳papaya_girl: I’d say you can see the future! 🧡🧡

papaya_girl

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 1,822,213 others

tagged: landornorris

papaya_girl: and the 3rd time is definitely the charm! And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name

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user52: I was definitely one of them!

↳user54: god what i would have given to have been there…

↳user52: it was just…amazing

maxfewtrell: congrats man!

↳landonorris: thanks man! Glad you were here to see it!

↳papaya_girl: he did it again!!

↳landonorris: I did!!

↳papaya_girl: so proud of you baby!

↳maxfewtrell: do you just traumatize everyone on their comment threads then?

↳oscarpiastri: yes

↳papaya_girl: hey! It’s my post!

↳landonorris: oi!

user55: congrats lando!

maxverstappen1: i think this calls for a celebration! And the winner buys yeah?

↳charles_leclerc: absolutely!

↳alex_albon: oh we’re down!

↳georgerussell63: sounds good!

↳oscarpiastri: that’s a plan

↳carlossainz55: si!

↳landonorris: you muppets! I won so you should be buying ME drinks!

↳maxverstappen1: that’s not what you’ve been saying these past few years…

papaya_girl

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 1,924,294 others

tagged: landonorris, carlossainz55

papaya_girl: Carlos…you can’t have him. Lando is MY man, MY love

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carlossainz55: sorry not sorry but you’ll never understand our bond

↳papaya_girl: he was mine FIRST! BSCK OFF

↳carlossainz55: De repente no entiendo ingles

↳papaya_girl: 🤺🤺🤺

↳landonorris: 🥰🧡🧡🧡🧡

user56: carlando is back!

↳papaya_girl: it is not!!

↳carlossainz55: that’s not what everyone is saying

↳papaya_girl: back off you Spanish fuck 🤺🤺

↳carlossainz55: 🤺🤺🤛🏼🤛🏼

↳landonorris: ok ok ok. Let’s just all stop and think about our actions

↳user56: mom help me the girls are fighting

user57: according to the pictures, carlando sat next to each other at their dinner while the wags were relegated to the other side of the table…

↳user58: ouch…

↳papaya_girl: we might have been on the other side of the table but lando is gonna be on the other side of the bed

↳iamrebeccad: same

↳landonorris: WHAT??? NO???

↳carlossainz55: what??

↳papaya_girl: play stupid games win stupid prizes

↳iamrebeccad: ☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻

↳carlossainz55: …well…

↳papaya_girl: 😑😑😑

↳landonorris: best not

↳papaya_girl: good answer

papaya_girl

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,633,234 others

tagged: landonorris

papaya_girl: Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close?

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user59: I can’t even begin to describe how happy I am to see the return of mushy romantic Lando

↳user60: that was my exact thoughts as well…after this entire season so far, I’m so glad that he’s got somewhere safe to go

↳papaya_girl: he always will

↳user60: good!

landonorris: I've loved you for far more then three summers now, baby, but I want 'em all

↳papaya_girl: you’ll have all my summers my love

↳landonorris: and your falls?

↳papaya_girl: springs and winters too.

↳landonorris: good 🥹🥰

↳papaya_girl: 😘🧡💋

↳landonorris: 🥰🥰🥰🧡🧡🧡

user61: ahhh the return of being called single over and over and over

↳user62: right?

maxfewtrell: he got you in the gym?

↳papaya_girl: i was physically in the gym

↳landonorris: she sat and took pictures of me while singing to Taylor

↳papaya_girl: as a good girlfriend would!

↳maxfewtrell: yeah that sounds about right!

↳papaya_girl: hey!

↳landonorris: 🤣🤣

papaya_girl

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,998,233 others

tagged: landonorris

papaya_girl: Vegas your lights shine so beautifully but I think I’ve been blinded by his eyes

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user63: I think we have an aspiring poet on our hands

↳user64: no but i understand her. That fourth picture…can you say new wallpaper???

landonorris: permission to be cheesy?

↳papaya_girl: since when do you ever ask??

↳landonorris: “It's a beautiful night, we're lookin' for somethin' dumb to do. Hey, baby, I think I wanna marry you”

↳papaya_girl: LANDO NORRIS IF THIS IS AN ACTUAL PROPOSAL IM STEALING YOUR CAR AND RUNNJNG YOU OVER!!!

↳landonorris: woah

↳papaya_girl: we are NOT getting married in Vegas!!

↳papaya_girl: and you better have a better proposal plan then INSTAGRAM COMMENTS

↳landonorris: 📝📝📝

↳user65: …the whiplash I just suffered

↳papaya_girl: SAME

↳maxfewtrell: I think he managed to give everyone a heart attack

↳papaya_girl: he’s already fielding calls from his mother and sisters

↳maxfewtrell: probably serves him right

↳papaya_girl: it does!!

↳landonorris: THEY KEEP CALLING ME

↳papaya_girl: YOU PROPOSED THROUGH INSTAGRAM AND WANTED TK GET MARRIED IN VEGAS

↳landonorris: yeah ok

papaya_girl

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 1,724,234 others

tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri

papaya_girl: Lando, my love…I think today really showed what kind of driver you are. A time penalty that put you in last and you still managed to end up in the points…

1 more to go.

congrats on third Oscar!

comments have been limited

landonorris: I only did so well cause I knew you were watching

↳papaya_girl: no. You did so well today because you are a fantastic driver and good things (WDC and WCC things) are coming your way. Today had nothing to do with me — it was all you 😍🧡

↳landonorris: it was a little bit you but thank you babe 🧡

oscarpiastri: thanks papaya_girl

↳oscarpiastri: and congrats lando! Fantastic drive there

↳landonorris: thanks man

papaya_girl

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, and 2,112,482 others

tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55

papaya_girl: 4 wins for my favorite #4!! I know I’ve said it again and again this year but Lando Norris it has been the best year of my life being able to follow you around and watch you live your dream. What a year… congratulations my love

Congratulations too to Oscar on your WCC!

(PS I think I might need to look for a boyfriend that looks at me the way that Lando looks at Carlos…)

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user66: …what on earth is happening in that 5th photo???

↳papaya_girl: if you figure it out, will you let me know?

carlossainz55: I told you you wouldn’t understand our bond papaya_girl

↳papaya_girl: 🖕🏻

↳oscarpiastri: 🤣🤣

↳landonorris: no no no baby let’s not do this

↳papaya_girl: fine

↳carlossainz55: fine

↳papaya_girl: he was very clearly talking to me!! His girlfriend!!

↳carlossainz55: if that’s what you want to think 🤔

↳papaya_girl: landonorris???

↳landonorris: ummmm…🏃🏻‍♂️💨💨💨

landonorris: you want to replace me🥺🥺🥺

↳papaya_girl: if you don’t stop giving heart eyes to that Spanish fucker…

↳carlossainz55: ha!

↳landonorris: baby (papaya_girl) you’re the only one for me

↳landonorris: and you have even been Mrs Norris by now if you had just said yes!

↳papaya_girl: again!! Not through instagram!

↳papaya_girl: and I’ll have to hyphenate…I can’t have the same name as the cat from Harry Potter…

↳landonorris: oi! You muppet!

↳papaya_girl: 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

↳papaya_girl: your muppet though?

↳landonorris: always

↳carlossainz55: you used to say that to me

↳papaya_girl: go away

oscarpiastri: congrats mate! WCC this year WDC next year?

↳landonorris: you know it!

↳papaya_girl: you win a WDC at or before Vegas and I’ll say yes the next time you ask

↳landonorris: YES. ABSOLUTELY. IF YOURE LYING TO ME ILL START CRYIGN

[5sospenguinqueen]

He’s Just Ken | Lando Norris x Volleyball! Reader

Summary: Lando tries to tell the Grid that he's dating an Olympic Volleyball player but instead, they publicly accuse him of lying to them.

Warnings: None? Swearing. Fluff.

Requested: Yes by Anon (here)

2024 season, slightly skewed timeline haha

Face claim is Jordan Thompson but also rando pinterest pics used. American Volleyball player to fit in with 'the twist'

F1 Masterlist

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landonorris just posted

liked by ln4, maxfewtrell and others

landonorris non-race weekends mean quality time with my trophy and watching the olympics opening ceremony 

2,004 comments

maxfewtrell don’t objectify me like that. i’m more than just your trophy 

→ landonorris you wish you were my trophy 

teamusa can we count on your support?

→ user1 um, he’s british so no..?

logansargeant looking forward to volleyball

→ landonorris absolutely

→ oscarpiastri it’s just sad now

→ user2 he’s not allowed to enjoy volleyball?

georgrussell63 look, guys, he’s trying to act like a wag 

→ alex_albon okay, moving this to social media is a step too far, mate

→ charles_leclerc c’mon, let him have his delusions. he’s not hurting anyone but himself 

→ landonorris they’re not delusions! 

→ user3 what is this about???

mclaren one of our favourite pictures 

→ oscarpiastri can we get him some mandated therapy?

→ landonorris i’m not mentally unwell! 

ynln_usa just posted

liked by landonorris, logansargeant and others

ynln_usa and i thought i looked good. let’s hear a little commotion for ms. eiffel 

3,481 comments

teammate1 okay but you do look good. nothing looks better than team pride

→ ynln_usa AMERICAAAAA 🦅🇺🇸

→ user4 i love how unhinged she is

user5 what is lando doing in the likes 

→ user6 logan is also here

→ user7 yes because she’s a usa volleyball player and he’s patriotic af. lando makes no sense  

→ user8 logan follows the usa volleyball insta account

logansargeant good luck 🇺🇸 liked by ynln_usa

→ user9 this interaction has my whole heart. my two favourite (and only) american athletes 

→ user10 yn and logan meet when?

teamusa that’s our girl! 

→ georgerussell63 lando’s imaginary girl

→ oscarpiastri like he could get her, she’s tall and he’s him (this comment thread has been deleted)

landonorris good luck on your first match

→ user11 sit down vroom vroom boy, not going to happen

→ user12 ha, like lando could bag the volleyball goddess. she’s a real athlete 

→ alex_albon the people have spoken

Group chat texts Twitch Boys + 2023 babies 

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ynln_usa just posted

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and others

ynln_usa first match down. my thighs are chafed and my voice all yelled out but i am pumped! 

4,416 comments

logansargeant what a game! looking forward to the rest of the season

→ ynln_usa thanks for the support 

user1 now oscar’s joined the group of drivers following her

→ user2 and charles

→ user3 poor logan can’t gatekeep her anymore

oscarpiastri looks intense 

→ ynln_usa says the extreme driver 

georgerussell63 lads, what’re we thinking

→ alex_albon just further reinforces our point

→ charles_leclerc she looks very cool

→ user4 what are they all doing here

→ user5 why are they all being suspicious

→ user6 nothing better to do on a weekday? 

landonorris i’ve never seen the stars and stripes look so good

→ danielricciardo norizz is back again

→ landonorris don’t you start 

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oscarpiastri just posted

liked by mclaren, ynln_usa and others

oscarpiastri lando’s dragging us to the olympics to feed into his delusion

2,814 comments

landonorris i’m not lying! 

user7 anyone else notice that all of the drivers in paris at the moment have been focusing on the usa women’s volleyball team?

→ user8 alex and george both posted this match, and their pic included player 12 as well??

→ user9 put some respect on yn ln’s name

danielricciardo where was my invite?

→ carlossainz55 and mine?

→ landonorris neither of you have publicly called me a liar. this isn’t a fun little trip. this is me proving a point! 

→ danielricciardo so it’s a holiday out of spite?

→ charles_leclerc we are having a great time though

alex_albon i’m willing to go along with his delusions if it gets me more free holidays 

→ logansargeant me too

→ georgerussell63 lads, no. we were supposed to be staging on intervention. i made a powerpoint 

landonorris i hate all of you

mclaren bring us back a croissant 

→ oscarpiastri only if you can find me a sane teammate 

→ mclaren deal

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ynln_usa just posted

liked by charles_leclerc, alex_albon and others

ynln_usa luckily, i look better in silver than gold 

16,812 comments

ynln_usa on a serious note, i am blown away by the immense support i have received this olympic season. a massive thank you to the loml @/landonorris for being at the finals (and bringing along some friends) i could hear you screaming in the stands

→ user10 excuse me!! loml lando norris?? since, uh when

teamusa a silver medal and a hard launch. what a day for our champion

→ ynln_usa help, i’ve been captured by a bunch of men who drive in circles

→ teammate any of them single?

landonorris you look so cute with your medal! my olympic silver medalist, everyone 

user11 i feel like this isn’t reaching enough people because all of the comments are just congratulating her on a silver medal. where are the people freaking out about the pinned comment? 

→ user12 she won a silver freaking medal. that’s more impressive than dating someone below her league 

lilymhe i was on the edge of my seat the whole time! congratulations, girly 🥈 (alex facetimed me the whole time so i could watch the match)

→ ynln_usa you mean, lando didn’t give you a ticket? i’ll tell him off for you

→ landonorris how many times do i have to tell people? i didn’t invite them for a nice trip. i was proving a point! it was a petty trip

→ user13 one hell of a trip 

landonorris @/oscarpiastri @/charles_leclerc @/georgerussell63 @/alex_albon @/logansargeant read the caption, boys 

charles_leclerc amazing match

oscarpiastri what a game! 

logansargeant fuck yeah! USA! 

georgerussell63 i’ve never been so invested in a volleyball match before 

alex_albon well done, team usa

user14 the f1 drivers are being so polite. it’s adorable 

landonorris just posted

liked by logansargeant, maxfewtrell and others 

landonorris my baby won silver 🩶🪙

3,304 comments

user1 okay but that picture in front of the eiffel tower. slay 

→ oscarpiastri thank you. some of my best work

→ user2 oscar.png when?

→ landonorris it’s only a good pic because he had good models 

→ oscarpiastri *model. she’s barbie, you’re just ken

ynln_usa big wins for us both this year

→ landonorris you’re my biggest win

→ danielricciardo cringe  liked by ynln_usa

→ landonorris stop it. i saw that, sweetheart

carlossainz55 you used to call me baby…

→ ynln_usa do you want him back?

→ landonorris babe, wtf

→ ynln_usa i’m sorry but carlos is my fave driver and i don’t want him to be sad

→ landonorris dumped.

charles_leclerc okay we get it now. we’re sorry we doubted you

→ georgerussell63 yeah. please stop making out in front of us 

→ landonorris vengeance! 

→ ynln_usa have you not learnt that he’s petty yet? he dragged you all to paris just to prove he was dating me

alex_albon her silver medal is far cooler than your miami trophy 

→ landonorris i agree but shouldn’t you be nice to me like the others?

→ alex_albon no. i never outwardly said i didn’t believe you, just that she was out of your league 

→ ynln_usa thank you, alex. it’s amazing what men can do if they make you laugh 

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Bonus

logansargeant just posted

liked by ynln_usa, lilymhe and others

ynln_usa from toddler terror to olympic silver medalist, you’ve been a pain in my ass since we were kids, and i couldn't be prouder to watch you win big 🇺🇸🍾 tagged: ynln_usa

2,302 comments 

ynln_usa the childhood best friends to professional athletes pipeline is real

landonorris so you knew i was telling the truth the entire time! 

→ logansargeant yeah

→ landonorris why didn’t you tell the others!

→ logansargeant was funny 

oscarpiastri i’m sorry but this reveal is even better than finding out lando was telling the truth about dating yn

→ user3 wait, so all these comments were because they didn’t believe he was dating yn

→ alex_albon would you have until their recent posts?

→ user4 no tbf

charles_leclerc you sly dog! you let us bully him for no reason

→ logansargeant it’s what he gets for just trying to casually slip it into conversation and not introducing her like a gentleman should 

→ landonorris i brought usa volleyball themed cupcakes! 

georgerussell63 this is the best thing i’ve seen all year 

mclaren you’ve caused both our drivers to need a lot of therapy. we’ll send the bill your way 

→ ynln_usa it’s alright, i’ll cover it. i have to deal with them untherapised otherwise

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A/N: So, sorry, Anon. It wasn't until I'd written this up and then realised I'd completely left Max out of it. So sorry but hope you still enjoy!

As always, request open!

[msookyspooky]

I need to know what your headcanons are on modern dating of Billy, Stu and or Randy 😊💕

Oooh nice ♡ (I hate modern dating sm and will be single for life before doing dating culture. lol I was designed for dramatic darkest soul proclaimtions, letters of yearning and long drawn courting that last a season before even dating and even dating we're not dating long if I know ur it. I wasn't designed for 'what's ur snap' and was made to send Polaroid nudes in letters with dried flowers and my perfume and...Other things not 'showering? without me?' text... Lmfao but I'll try! 😅💖)

Modern 2025 Dating HC's for Scream Guys

Characters: Randy Meeks, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis

TW: Sex Mentioned, Modern Sexism/Discourse.

Randy Meeks

♡ He's sadly a Reddit user but not in an incel 'niceguysforum' way but in a Dad jokes and we arguing with a 15 year old with a big titty anime pfp on a thread over the symbolism in Hellraiser kind of way.

♡ May also be into the Softmaledom and GFD groups on there and gets ideas from it (He gives nerdy but sweet kinky boy once yall are doing it ya know he does)

♡ Met in Fandom Spaces or at a Horror Con (Dare I say...He'd also be into anime too? 👀 If he was it would be Monsters or Hellsing or anything by Junji I'm JS.)

♡ Would send you horror movie merch/buy it and it arrives on your doorstep. Expect matching couple merch.

♡ Sends you voice notes randomly of "Oh my God, babe. These freaking assholes don't understand that The Babadook was a fucking metaphor-" and it's embarrassingly long before he tries to delete and when that fails he acts like he was talking to himself and accidentally pressed record

♡ Constantly finds new horror movies to watch even cheap ones and FT you to watch it with him till you fall asleep

♡ Definitely FT nightly if you're long distance till one of you falls asleep

♡ Would have a YT channel, Tiktok channel or Podcast on Horror Movies or Crime

♡ Would call you something cringe but meme like pookie bear ironically (and unironically) also calls you 'kitten' as a joke because you both think it's funny acting like a discord Daddy and his kitten girl for the disgusted reactions

♡ Has you both hugging as his pfp and rubs it in other nerdy redflag incels faces like 'Oh no one loves you? 🥺 Damn, someone does me-' in internet arguments when he gets told 'She wont let you hit bro' when defending someone

♡ Became a damn germaphobe after Covid and makes you put your hands out to put sanitizer on. Flinches still when someone coughs w/o covering their mouth cause he had it and doesn't ever want it again

♡ Plays Outlast with you and you both are screaming and laughing hard all night long over the headset

Stu Macher

♡ Stu Macher too bad you died in 96; you would've thrived online

♡ Met you on an app like Tinder, Insta or Snapchat (Or asked for it)

♡ FT you doing random shit in silence + random dumbass noises to fill the silence like boy why tf you fting me while boiling water???

♡ Is so much harder to murder now so either he won't do it but be oddly fascinated by it or he will and is just extra careful

♡ Is such a troll with a keyboard. Only refers to women as bruh, bro, bby, baddie, bih, bop. Uses terms like fine shyt to describe you. Just over does '*xyz* Ahh', 'The huzz are watching', 'What the Sigma??', 'She mid' in comment sections just because he likes attention and knows ppl will be like 'sybau'...He'll even do it to you as his S/O just to rile you up.

♡ Giant troll even when dating. He sees a prank on TikTok? He's doing it and might record your reaction too

♡ Will send risky texts all day everyday. You've seen his dick at every angle. You've seen every surface from tailbone to tip. He always asks for pics in return and constantly pushes his luck wanting your face in them or video

♡ Uses emojis and reaction gifs

♡ Texts you good morning and it's Russian Roulette...Sweet or Surprise Morning Wood?

♡ Netflix and Chill Regularly

♡ Takes Selfies to send 24/7. He just messaged himself eating a McChicken to you...Probably some nasty sex joke in there somewhere somehow istg

♡ Likes when you borrow his clothes and take selfies to send to him. Is like '😍' at you in his oversized sweater for bed

♡ Surprises you with shit he saw on pornhub/horny side of X and sometimes its fun and other times you're like 'Hey, no. Nuh uh I don't bend like that.'

♡ Can be sweet in a funny way using heart eyed reaction images to ur selfies or 'Oh mmyyy Shaylaaaa! 😭💘😫' to something he finds cute

♡ Will text you at 1am 'you up?' or 'I'm bored :(' and if you answer and he lives close he will be at your door with food

♡ Would think all women are either bops/thots, femcels or baddies (srry I fear misogyny is somehow worse/more open now like wtf happened)

♡ Claims Human Centipede or Tusk was hilarious and he might actually think that but he could also be lying bc he knows it will get a reaction from you

♡ Constant reaction pics to what you say like he's on X comment section

♡ Is rich enough he'll get those heartbeat rings/bracelets then forgets to wear it with you

Billy Loomis

♡ This mfer is a pretty boy edgelord incel (Travesty rlly) I am sorry; sad but true

♡ Still kills or has fantasy of it but would have to be way sneakier

♡ Met you organically because he doesn't like apps and claims it and hookup culture have destroyed society (...He says as he's scrolling X/Twitter)

♡ Will randomly send you sad qoutes and ur like 'oh god are you okay???' thinking he's in danger and he acts like he accidentally sent it

♡ If you're a girl; he constantly claims you're 'not like other girls' madonna whore complex kicks his ass everytime

♡ Will get petty if you miss his text or don't respond right away

♡ Talks to you about movies but is like 'Sorry...You probably never heard of it' then quizzes you bc he refuses to believe you *understand* an artistic *masterpiece* like Clockwork Orange (Sarcasm on my part)

♡ Would either listen to 90's grunge, Indie Rock or like $uicideboy$ type stuff

♡ Never sends you a selfie of himself smiling its always him looking tired or mad or blurry

♡ FT you at the worst angle ever like a 50 yr old man

♡ Doesn't use emojis except 🖤 if ur lucky

♡ Gets so pissed at Stu who pisses him off on purpose like 'WHAT THE HELL IS SKIBIDI TOILET I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU-"

♡ May have moments where he genuinely lets his walls down by sending those reaction pics with words on them like you see on Pinterest and that's the only way he knows how to say stuff w/o saying it, ya know?

♡ Does have Spotify playlist that remind him of you and Pinterest boards too but wont admit it

♡ If you text him and use a petname he's like 'shut up' while ttly smiling at his phone since you can't see

♡ Wants to know ur location on ur phone or when u get home safe (...He's hiding outside ur house, babe.)

♡ Will fully let his walls down talking for hours to you about movies but his taste can get dark

♡ Surprisingly is more honest/open through text than in person

♡ Total Agoraphobia and uses his phone for dopamine escape while acting about it all. Only time he feels content is you in his bed or arms

[cher-rei]

gavi long distance + secret relationship smau??? if you do end up writing this can you please tag me

in between— pablo gavi smau [ P.G ]

pairing: pablo gavi x fem!reader

masterlist

notes: this one actually broke me a little, like it wasn't even that deep so why am I sad for them😭😭💔 @weekendlusting (translated spanish!!)

isa.bella

liked by pablogavi and 678 876 others

isa.bella cerca de allí... ✈️💌 (nearly there...)

see all comments below

user you're so pretttyyy I'm going insane

user travel vlog time!! it's been a hot minute

bsf.name ¿adónde esta vez? 😉 (where to this time?) [liked by isa.bella]

→ isa.bella ¿¿dónde más?? (where else?)

user are we collectively going to ignore gavi in her likes...? [liked by isa.bella]

isa.bella

liked by pedri and 762 123 others

isa.bella hogar📍 (home)

see all comments below

user ahhh she's back in barcelona !!

pedri mucho tiempo sin verte😊 (long time no see) [liked by isa.bella]

→ isa.bella estoy muy feliz de estar de vuelta hermano (I'm so happy to be back bro)

pablogavi me encantan las flores🌷 (I love the flowers) [liked by isa.bella]

→ isa.bella gracias, mi novio me lo consiguió. (thanks, my boyfriend got them for me)

pablogavi

liked by ferminlopez and 987 182 122 others

pablogavi mi lugar favorito 💕 (my favourite place)

see all comments below

ferminlopez ¿te perdiste la noche de juegos por esto? (you missed game night for this?)

→ pablogavi cualquier día (anyday)

user bro has the whole of twitter trying to figure out who this is??

user shut up gavi said it's his cousin😭😭

user we're about to pull up like the fbi. I need anything at this rate

isa.bella

liked by bsf.name and 563 122 others

isa.bella noche de cita 🍿🌙 (date night)

see all comments below

user you have a boyfriend??

user guys she's wifed up, what do we do😭

user I wanted to say that he looks kinda familiar but I'm probably tripping due to the shock

user if you need me I'll be getting my P.I on this

→ user I'll be waiting for the twitter thread

pablogavi

liked by ferrantorres and 986 299 224 others

see all comments below

pablogavi 🤍

ferrantorres disfrútalo mientras dure hermano 😂 (enjoy it while it lasts bro)

→ pablogavi por favor no me lo recuerdes 😭 (please don't remind me)

pedri ahora vas a estar deprimido por los próximos 5 meses. de nuevo. (now you're going to be depressed for the next 5 months. again.) [liked by pablogavi]

user oh yeah this is so his cousin

user I bet my right kidney that it's @isa.bella

→ user wait... that actually makes sense

→ user guys it's just his cousin pleaaseeee. this boy does not have the time for relationships

user where's the twitter thread girl??

isa.bella

liked by bsf.name and 568 297 988 others

isa.bella me acaban de recordar que me iré pronto. voy a vomitar (just got reminded that i'm leaving soon. i'm going to throw up)

user hold up 😃

user didn't ferran say something about gavi having to enjoy his last few days???

→ user bro I'm gonna fjdjdjdj

user ain't no way. I don't believe it

user the twitter thread is being made!! my P.I is working overtime

isa.bella

liked by bsf.name and 766 976 976 others

isa.bella vale, se acabó la broma, quiero recuperar a mi novio. 😃💔 (okay the joke's over, I want my boyfriend back.)

bsf.name solo 5 meses más nena 😫 (just 5 more months babe)

→ isa.bella déjame en paz estoy de duelo 🥲 (leave me alone, im grieving)

user nooooo my favourite couple

user I've been so invested in this relationship the past few weeks. my heart is actually breaking rn 😭💔

user not the long distance relationship 😭

user someone check gavi's insta!!!

pablogavi

liked by pedri and 873 828 282 others

pablogavi hora de reiniciar la cuenta regresiva 🥲 (time to restart the countdown)

user shut up the screenshot of their text!! I'm crying I can't do this

user me and who...?

pedri al menos esto te motiva a jugar bien 😭 (at least this gives you motivation to play well) [liked by pablogavi]

user the twitter thread is up!!

user bro beat the cousin allegations

[catslittlecorner]

1 May, 2025

Goals for May🐝

I failed a bit during April to keep a consistent posting schedule in most of my social media accounts, so for May I'll set the same goal to see if I can actually accomplish it during this month. This counts towards my Insta, Threads, YouTube and Tumblr accounts, since they're the ones I use almost daily.

I'll also be setting a new study schedule for my Bible and German studies during the week. I won't be trying to catch up to the schedule I had before, but set a new one to keep on learning at my own pace. Will also try to pick up my French again, so I don't get too rusty.

During May I'll do my best to incorporate stretches and light yoga or pilates to my weekly routine, besides from still going on some walks. I'm nearly 5 months pregnant and been having some pain on my hips and legs, so I'll need to work around that before baby gets too big and I can't move properly anymore.

Speaking of baby, might do a pregnancy reveal some time this month. I created this blog to keep the anonymity online and have been keeping my pregnancy a secret from most people I know or privacy reasons. It has helped that I've not gotten too big and usually wear oversized sweaters, so nobody has noticed yet. Still, would like to see how long I can keep it a secret (again, for privacy reasons).

As for my writing, I did not finish my detailed draft, so I set a goal to get it done by May 15 so I can begin properly writing my book by the second half of the month.

And for my May TBR:

The Phantom of the Opera, by Gaston Leroux (re-read).

Oathbringer, by Brandon Sanderson (will force myself to actually finish it in a month).

On women, by Susan Sontag (still have an essay left, will try to finish it before the weekend).

Hero of Ages, by Brandon Sanderson (if I finish Oathbringer, might get to read this one before the end of the month, but I don't like to read two Sanderson books at the same time).

Wings of starlight, by Allison Saft (maybe, if I feel like reading a romance).

[bkaulitzz]

𝐖𝐡𝐨’𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞 .01

more like this on my wattpad @/b_kaulitzz

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

info/cw: fem x dom!bill, CHEATING, choking and chocking, p in v, oral, dubcon…, mask kink in a way, you are dressed up as SIDNEY PRESCOTT

synopsis: you get a little hot and bothered from hearing some drama about tom

pt 2 at bottom!! if u cant see it, refresh

more under cut :)

I pulled my dark-wash, denim jacket over the purple shirt I had, feeling every thread count as it slipped over my forearms. My feet stood on the cold wooded floor of my room. I stared into the vertical mirror that leaned against the wall, fixing my natural hair. I flinched, watching a figure step behind me, slithering his arms around my waist as he stared into the mirror with his Ghost Face mask. "Tom! God. You fucking scared me, " I looked up over my shoulder at him, getting a low chuckle in response. "Take it off."

"Slow down...we didn't even party yet, " Tom muffled, reaching up for the bottom of his mask with his gloved hand, and pulling it up over his head.

"Shut up, " I rolled my eyes and snickered, fixing my eyeliner as Tom watched. He placed his chin on my shoulder, admiring me as I fixed my eyeliner. "Tom..."

"Hm?" He tilted his head, his black cloak draped over his body. It was no different from his regular wear anyway.

"I don't know...I'm kinda disappointed in this year's costume, " I sighed, leaning back into him, and moving my arms over his arms.

"How come? I think you look good, " He smirked and planted kisses in the crook of my neck. I tilted my head, giving him more access. "I mean...you look good in everything anyways."

"Thanks...but I just felt like we didn't even try, " I frowned. He clasped his fingers with mine, resting his chin on my shoulder again.

"At least, you're not like Bill. He stole my whole costume and made his girlfriend dress as Tatum, " He groaned, caressing the sides of my thumbs with his. I looked back over at him again, kissing his cheekbone.

"I guess so...you're the better Ghost Face anyway, " I smirked and he turned his head toward me. He pecked my lips, grinning against them.

"Of course I am. I'm the original, " He hummed, pulling away, keeping one hand interlocked with mine. "We should go though, it's starting soon, " He pecked my forehead, pulling me in by my waist. "I'll go start the car, " He smirked, pulling the mask down over his face. I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms.

"Alright...don't run into a wall, " I said. He nodded with a thumbs up, turning around to make it to the door. I turned back to the mirror, fixing the black skinny jeans I had on. I raised an eyebrow, hearing a thud followed by a groan. I looked back, snickering and Tom held his forehead.

"Who closed the fucking door?"

***

I scowled, looking down at the potato crumbs that I had just stepped on. The smell of beer filling my nose as 'Monster Mash' could be heard from the living room. The sound of faint ping pong balls could be heard from far, doinking against a surface. I clasped my fingers into Tom's as they rested on my waist, looking around. I pursed my lips, squinting my eyes as I looked through the crowds of people. Some were on their staircase, others were just scattered around. I sighed beginning to walk into the crowd.

"You see him, yet?" Tom muffled into my ear, a little loud to be heard over the music. The fabric of his mask tickled my neck. I hummed and made my way into the living room, my black boots stepping onto what used to be white carpet that was now a beige. I cringed at the feeling of sliding past people with small 'excuse me's.' I gasped, seeing a Ghost Face nearby.

"Did you hear that...and...caught herpes?!"

"Yea, they got leaked on insta too, " I heard faintly as I pushed pass people. I felt the music pound in my chest as I was closer to the speaker. Bill stood by a leather couch, his hands on his girlfriend's hip. His head turned towards us as we stepped closer. He snickered, turning to his side before lifting his mask over his head. Revealing his black and white dreads.

"Are you still mad at me?" He smirked as he looked at Tom. I gave Bill's girlfriend a small wave and smile, feeling Tom's hands leave my waist. He stood beside me, crossing his arms in a petty way. I rolled my eyes before turning my attention back to Bill.

"Fucking obviously, you stole my costume, " Tom gripped the bottom of his mask, pulling it over his head. Bill rolled his eyes, making duck lips as he tilted his head.

"I wear it better, " Bill shrugged, bringing his hands down to clasp them, resting them on his thighs.

"No, you don't. I obviously look better, I wore it first anyway, " Tom blew raspberries as they spoke loudly over the music. I took a seat on the armrest of the black leather couch, resting my head on the wall it leaned against.

"Just because you're first, doesn't mean anything. Like how you were born first, it doesn't mean you're better, " Bill blew raspberries back, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend's waist. He turned to her with a smile, lifting her chin with a hooked pointer finger. "I'm the better Ghost Face anyways, right babe?" He grinned. She nodded, looking away shyly. Tom rolled his eyes, turning to me.

"We don't sound like that, right?" He snickered. I shook my head with a chuckle, sliding off the sticky leather. He took my hand, looking around the living room. "There's beer pong in the kitchen, wanna come with me?" He asked before turning back to me.

"What?!" I came close, furrowing my brows. He sighed, coming close to my ear.

"There's! Beer POOOONG! In the kitchen. Do you wanna come with me?" He pulled his mask back over his face. I followed to where his eyes once were, turning back to him.

"Sure, " I snickered. He slapped my ass before taking my hand to lead me to the kitchen. I sighed in relief once my boots met the wooden floors again. The music growing fainter. Tom wrapped his arm around my waist, approaching the beer pong table.

"Can we join?" Tom asked the two dudes on the other side of the table.

"I'm not playing, I'll just watch, Tom, " I said. He gave me a nod, pulling away from my waist as he picked up the ping-pong balls. The sound of the balls dinking on the gray foldable table started again. The other guys kept hitting the solo cups, missing some shots. I sighed, watching Tom down his fourth cup, making me feel thirsty. "Hey, Tom?"

"Yea?" His focus stayed on the other side of the table.

"I'm gonna get drinks, I'll be back, " I tiptoed, speaking into his ear. He nodded, turning to me to peck my cheek with his damp lips from the beer.

"Be safe, " He turned back to the game. I grinned before walking away from the beer table. The kitchen was also as crowded as everywhere else in the house. Whoever owned the house, had money, and the kitchen was huge. I walked over to the counter and saw a cooler with ice resting on the granite surface. I waited for the two girls talking in front of it to move before reaching into the blue cooler. I grabbed a buzzball, cracking it open to take a sip.

"Tom's fucking ran through, " One of the girls spoke as they were by the sink now. I raised an eyebrow, standing close as I sipped the buzzball to seem unbothered.

"Right? And he has a girlfriend, she's so oblivious, " The second girl sighed.

"Exactly. Either way, if I was honest... I wish we could've fucked..." She looked away from her friend. The second girl gasped, widening her eyes.

"Me too, to be honest, " They snickered. I furrowed my brows as my back was facing toward them, continuing to down my buzzball slowly as I eavesdropped.

"How long do you think they'll last?"

"Probably not long, " She smirked.

"Tom's easy, you'll get a chance."

"Right?" They continued to chatter as they walked off. I clenched my jaw, finishing the buzzball.

"Assholes..." I turned around, beginning to follow behind. I froze, seeing a dark red in my peripheral vision. I turned my head to the sink, gasping as it was full of jungle juice. I grabbed a solo cup from a nearby stack, dropping the empty buzzball can to the floor. I grabbed the ladle, pouring two scoops into my cup. I cringed, putting my lips to the rim of the cup, and taking a sip. I smacked my lips, furrowing my brows. I downed it, still being thirsty. I threw the empty cup into the trashbag hung on the cabinet knob, turning toward the beer-pong area. I squinted my eyes, not being able to see Tom, starting to walk back to the living room again. The music filled my chest as I looked around, blinking my eyes as it was a bit blurry. I raised my eyebrows, seeing a Ghost Face. I shoved past people, immediately throwing my arms around his neck. It felt like forever to get there but I managed. I tilted my head as it was a higher reach than normal. "Tom, fuck. Can you believe what I heard in the kitchen?? Some girls were ranting about you, " I frowned, feeling my face heat up as tears welled up. He raised his hand to my cheek, swiping off tears with his thumb.

"Y/n-"

"Then, they just...they talked about wanting to..." I gulped, starting to hear myself in my ears. "Fuck...what was in that jungle juice...anyways. They were talking about how badly they wanted to fuck you. God, they pissed me off. Isn't that unbelievable?" I tilted my head. He nodded in response. "Fuck. Tom...I just..." I bit my lip, coming closer to close the gap between us. I slid my left hand down to his chest, rubbing it up and down before grabbing the bottom of his mask.

"Wait-"

"Please, Tom...I can't wait any longer. They make me so...mad, " I growled before lifting the mask just a bit to expose his lips. I narrowed my eyes at the beauty mark under his lip, pushing it off for being tipsy as I held his face. "Please, " I whispered against his lips. He moved his hands down to my waist causing me to smirk before I kissed his lips. The taste of whatever he drank before filled my lips which was pretty sweet. I furrowed my eyebrows as the cold metal that I was so used to, hadn't tickled me. I pulled away, gazing over his lips again.

"Don't stop, " He muttered through his breath. I widened my eyes with a smirk, coming close again to place my lips on his. This time, he harshly moved against my lips, I breathed heavily as I wrapped my arms around his neck. My face heats up, feeling his fingers tickle up to my throat, pressing his fingers down gently. I let out a small whine and he took the chance to slide his tongue in, pressing his against mine. My heart skipped a beat as shivers went down my spine, pushing myself more against him. He groaned into the kiss, moving my face up more by my jawline. I shuddered, my hands slowly moving through the fabric of his mask down to dangle over his shoulders. I pulled away after a while, my lips swollen as I caught my breath. He licked his top lip, grinning with his teeth as he swiped his thumb over my bottom lip. The music continued to boom in my chest as I looked over my shoulder toward the speaker. I turned back to Tom, tilting my head.

"I can't focus..." I licked my lips, wrapping my arms around his neck again. He smirked, reaching down for the back of my thighs. I jumped and he held me by my thighs, walking toward the stairs by the front door. They creaked as he nearly tripped over the people who sat on the stairs. I laid my head on his shoulder, the music growing fainter. He dropped me on my feet by a door in the dim hallway he made it to. He wrapped his fingers around my throat, lifting my face to smash his lips against mine again. I furrowed my brows, kissing back as my heart raced again, my knees growing weak. "Tom, " I whined against his lips. He shushed me as his other hand reached down to turn to doorknob by my hips, never breaking the kiss. I stumbled backward into the room and it was already lit as if it was waiting for us. I breathed heavily against the kiss as he closed the door behind him with his foot, placing his other hand on my waist.

"You taste so sweet, " He bit his lip after he spoke, looking down at me. I gulped as I stared up at him at what seemed to be his eyes through the mask. He swiped his thumb over my bottom lip causing me to part my lips. He slowly slid his thumb in and I wrapped my swollen lips around it, keeping eye contact. "Such a whore, " He muttered as he moved his thumb down. He moved his hands to the opening of my jacket, helping me pull it off. He threw it aside, reaching down for my shirt after. Once the bra clipped off, he slowly peeled it off of me, gazing over my chest. He gasped softly, pushing me toward the bed by my waist. I shivered at his cold fingertips, stumbling before the back of my knees hit the edge of the bed. I fell back, allowing him to crawl on top of me. The smell of his cologne filled my nose as he dove down, keeping his eyes on me.

"New cologne, Tom?" I nibbled on my bottom lip, I preferred it much more than his other one.

"Yea...new cologne..." He grinned. I reached down to the bottom of his mask, trying to pull it off. He took hold of both of my wrists, holding them above my head.

"But, I wanna see you, " I frowned and he held both of my wrists in one hand as the other came down.

"Later...it'll be hotter with this on, " He trailed his fingernails down the side of my ribcage. I arched my back at the gentleness, reaching up into his touch. He bit his lip at the reaction, coming down to kiss around my nipple. His free hand came up to cup my other boob. I squirmed under him, feeling him lay his tongue flat against my nipple. He kissed around again, sucking at my flesh. He nipped, grazing his teeth around the areas. I let out a small cry and he slapped the side of my waist in response. "Patient, " He snarled. He kissed the dark purple marks he left behind before wrapping his lips around my nipple, swirling his tongue around it. My breath hitched as I looked down at him, feeling his hand slowly glide down to the start of my pants. He undid the button with one hand, slipping the black pants a bit by gripping the fabric on the side of my thighs. He slid his hand into my pants, grazing my nipple with his teeth. He pulled off with a pop, sitting up as he looked down at me. Effortlessly keeping me down while his other hand rubbed my clothed clit. I arched my back again, clenching my eyes as I trembled. "Does it feel good?" He asked and I slowly opened my eyes, being met with him staring down at me. I pursed my lips, nodding slowly with furrowed brows. He applied more pressure and I yelped in response as he harshly traced circles on my clit with his fingers. "Answer me."

"Yes, it does!" I stammered. He gave me an amused hum, feeling the wetness seep through my panties. He pulled out, placing the fingers to my lips. I parted them and obeyingly sucked on his fingers. He snickered at the sight, moving the hand around my wrists away. I sat up on my hands, my tongue sliding against his fingers as he pulled them out. He slid off the bed, reaching under the cloak to pull the matching black pants along with his boxers off. He threw them aside, coming over to the edge of the bed. He wrapped his hand around his cock, pumping it as he pointed at the area on the bed in front of him.

"Here, " He demanded and I crawled over on my knees, leaning down to reach his cock. I kissed the bottom of his cock as his hands moved up, keeping eye contact. He moved his hand away, allowing me to replace his hand with mine. I laid my tongue flat against the bottom, coming up to his tip. My hand moved the opposite way as I licked the precum off his tip, wrapping my lips around it. I smirked as I pulled out, pumping the rest as I kissed his tip. He groaned, moving a hand to the back of my head. "Don't fucking tease me, sweets, " He rasped, pushing my head down to take him whole. I choked and his mouth hung low, watching tears well up in my eyes. I breathed heavily through my nose, looking up at him as his tip hit the back of my throat.

"Aww, why are you tearing up? You deserve it for trying to tease me, " He swiped off the tears that rolled down my cheek and I moved my hands up to the sides of his thighs, which were surrounded by the cheap, black cloak. He put his hands on either side of my head, beginning to thrust into my mouth. I hallowed my cheeks, continuing to tear up each time his tip hit my throat. He let out low moans, gripping a handful of my hair to pull. He bucked his hips faster causing me to gurgle around his cock. I pulled off after a few thrusts, and a trail of saliva followed as I choked for air. He cupped my jaw as I looked up at him, my vision even more blurry with the accompanied tears. "You okay?" He frowned. I nodded slowly, catching my breath as he leaned down to kiss my nose. He kissed down to my lips as I fluttered my tears away. He reached down, hooking his fingers at the start of my pants as he leaned into me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he kissed me hungrily, pulling my pants off for me. He let them drop off the edge of the bed, hooking his nails into the lace of my panties. He tore it open, causing me to pull away from the kiss with a gasp.

"Tom!" I looked down at his hands which were intertwined with each threading of the panties. I furrowed my brows at his black-painted nails, looking back up at him. "When did you paint your nails?"

"The other day...you didn't see. I wanted to surprise you, " He dropped the ripped panties. He leaned into the crook of my neck, planting kisses as he held my waist. I leaned back towards the bed as he pushed me down, moving my right leg over his right shoulder. He aligned himself, pumping the leftover saliva as lubrication before moving his tip to my slit. I grit my teeth, reaching behind him, under his mask for what I thought would be braids but were replaced with the feeling of dreads. I narrowed my eyes before widening them as he slowly slid in. I threw my head back, tugging at his hair which earned a groan in response. I wrapped my other leg around his waist, letting out a high-pitched moan as he stretched me. He dug his nails into my flesh, leaning his head down with groans. He bottomed me out and I breathed heavily, looking back up at him as my fingers were tangled with his dreads. "You alright?" He breathed out, sliding his hands up and down my sides to comfort me. I nodded as I bit my lip.

He moved his hands to either side of my body onto the bed, slowly bucking his hips. My eyebrows knotted and my jaw hung open as hushed moans escaped my mouth. He bit his lip at the expression on my face, keeping his rhythm.

"So...good, " I panted and he moved a hand up to my throat, pressing his fingers on either side. He looked down at the sight of me taking him, causing him to jolt his hips faster. My breath hitched, throwing my head back. "Tom, " I cried out. He clenched his jaw, moving two fingers up to my mouth. I sucked on them as the rest of his fingers choked me. He leaned down to my ear, muttering.

"You don't wanna get caught, right?" He husked out. I nodded slowly with a small whine into his fingers. "Good girl..." He removed his fingers, continuing to choke me as he sat up straight, thrusting into me. He moved a hand down to my inner left thigh, opening my legs more. "You're taking me so well, " He purred, looking down at me as I whimpered through my teeth to stay quiet. He looked down again at my pussy, letting out a desperate, filthy noise. He pulled out before flipping me onto my knees. He bent me over slightly, grabbing hold of my wrists to hold me up as he aligned himself. My whines were cut off, feeling him slam back into me. I shuddered, as he started to slowly move up into me again, hearing a plastic material hit the wood floor. I tried to turn back, only to be made to face front again by him gripping my lower jaw. He crossed my arms on my lower back with the other hand, pounding up into me. I threw my head back into his chest, letting out cries of pleasure as the sound of our skin slapping filled the room. His strained moans danced into my ear as he kept his uneven place. My moans were broken as I became lightheaded from the pleasure, clenching around his cock.

"Close, " I whined, feeling his nails dig into my arms.

"Hold it for me, " He lifted my face to look up at the ceiling, leaning into my neck. He planted kisses as he thrusted up, and his moans were hoarse against my skin. "You feel so good, " He panted. His thrusts grew more sloppy as I continued to throb around him. He pulled away from my neck, moving the hand around my neck down to my swollen clit. "Come for me, " He rubbed circles around my clit and I threw my head back, rolling my eyes back. I twitched, letting out a sharp moan before releasing all over his cock. He pulled out, letting go of my arms which allowed me to fall on my back. I repeatedly panted as he pumped himself to reach his high. He shuddered as he came, the mattress shifting as he got off.

"Fuck...I think that was...the best ever that we've done...Tom, " I slurred as I breathed heavily, my head resting on the pillow.

"That's because I'm not Tom, " His voice was clearer. I raised an eyebrow, lazily looking over to my right. I widened my eyes, seeing the mascara that ran down his face from sweat. His hair was disheveled, as sweat ran down his forehead.

"Bill! What the fuck! What if Tom finds out?!" I sat up, sitting back on my hands.

"He doesn't need to know, " He stepped over with a finger on his lips as he stared into my eyes. I pursed my lips, shooting my head to the door as I heard a knock.

"Y/n??" A deeper voice behind the door called, knocking.

"You're so fucking dead, " I mouthed aggressively. Bill smirked, tilting his head.

"Don't lie, you enjoyed it, " He muttered and I looked away shyly, feeling my face heat up.

"Are you in there?" The voice behind the door continued. "Whoever's in there, if you don't respond, I'll fucking break the door down."

"He's gonna kill you, " I whispered.

"Call me for a next time, " He winked, hurriedly sliding on his costume as the knocks became more aggressive, running into the closet. The door cracked open and I looked over with widened eyes.

© bkaulitzz; dont steal :((

pt. 2 HERE

[shirleykarasuma]

Did I try out a new cosplay!? Yes!!!

Is it Aoko from Magic Kaito!? Also yes!!!

I met up with a Kaito cosplayer and they were so adorable! Totally would wear the cosplay again! Love it~♥️

Video~

Insta~ | TikTok~ | Youtube~ | Threads~

[lixenn]

Hi lili!!! 👋🏾 Hope you are well! For Chief...!

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

🥩 (steak) - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

🪓 (axe) - Does your oc have survival skills? Have they ever had to use them? What would they do in an apocalypse? Could they survive?

Heya Momo! I'm hanging on by a bare thread but I'm still kicking so that's something (I will defeat this thesis, I will kick it to the curb! I will murder it dead <- straight up in denial OTL)

Chief questions! Chief questions!!!

Let's see...

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

Well, Dani-boy ain't a saint so he certainly hurt quite a bit of people. As for who he hurt the most, well that's [redacted] Ummm... huh? That's strange... Let me try again. Dan [redacted] ... One time he [redacted]

Whut?

*contacting the nonsense generator*

...

Error 404 Answer not found.

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🥩 (steak) - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

Dan is a solution orientated person. If there's a problem, he tries to fix it. If there's no problem? Well, there will be future ones so he plans ahead. ("Paranoid much Chief?") So you could say he copes with things by planning and scheming and working. He loves lists and graphs, likes sorting his thoughts by writing them down. He will list all the things that could possibly go wrong and then meassures to prevent them or how to react to them. Not really a healthy way to cope with life but when your part of the Mafia where sanity often goes on permanent vacation it can save your ass quite a bit.

When confronted with situations that are not in his plans (aka the newest Varia shitshow) or that simply make him uncomfortable (aka Vlasta's nonsense) then he often shuts down. Dan knows the value of a strategic retreat and he's not afraid to use it.

He also heavily abuses his hard workload as a distraction tactic. What do you mean Ottavio wants to talk to him? Can't you see that he's busy doing budget reports? Come in late (read: never). (There's no time to worry about the high death toll when he's mind is occupied with numbers and to-lists and meetings. Chief is good at compartmentalizing, locking bad memories into boxes and hiding away the key)

To break it down: Dan copes with contingency plans, compartmentalization and just plain noping out of the problem. It's not exactly the healthiest way to cope because he tends to take these methods to the extremes but it could be worse.

🪓 (axe) - Does your oc have survival skills? Have they ever had to use them? What would they do in an apocalypse? Could they survive?

Survival skills huh... bit of a broad term but I will try my best 🫡

Dan knows first aid and hand to hand combat. It was drilled into his head by his parents because they know how dangerous the mafia can be and they wanted him to be equipped to deal with it. (His siblings got the same training, yes even his sister though she isn't a fan of getting her hands dirty). He knows how to make a fire, set up camp and how get food in the wilderness (though his cooking skills are... not up to par, it's enough to survive but not really all that appetizing). Dan learned those skills on various camping trips he went on with his dad, it was their way to bond since Dan loves nature and his dad likes to hunt.

As for the apocalypse... Please, he has contingency plans for an eventual Varia zombie outbreak (he doesn't trust PoisonChem or R&D as far as he can throw them, he wouldn't be surprised if they cook up a zombie virus in their labs. Disappointed? Yes. Surprised? No.) and several other apocalypse scenarios. So as long as it isn't something that insta kills lots of people (aka natural disaster shit) he would be fine. He has a couple safe houses, common sense and knows how to use a shotgun. Also he's just way too stubborn to die because the world's gone to shits. Plus for some reason someone up above (the author) wants to torment him on a daily basis and he's got to be alive for that to happen so yeah...

He'd either be roped into some leadership role in a survival camp or he'd be the grumpy guy in the woods living off the land. Could go either way.

Red emoji oc ask

[checkeredflagggs]

Subject of Interest

pairing: carlos sainz x fem!photographer!reader

summary: fans love carlos’ girlfriend and her unhinged comments and photography hobby

a/n: needed a slight break from the lando fic and I love doing these small photography based smaus. I will probably be doing these for more drivers — feel free to request someone you’d like to see!

a/n 2: fyi this is all google translate Spanish 🤷‍♀️

a/n 3: I tried to write horny for the first time and I think? It went? Ok?

princesa

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 1,231,445 others

tagged: carlossainz55

princesa: mi amor, ¿sabes lo que me vas a hacer? Either put that thing away or put it to use. (My love, do you know what you're going to do to me?)

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user1: ahhhh love to see the princess back in action

↳user2: girl we missed you and your unhinged comments

landonorris: thERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT

↳princesa: then leave? I know you have enough of a brain in that empty head of yours to do that

↳landonorris: I just wanted to congratulate my friend!! Why are you so mean?!?

↳princesa: niño…(Boy)

↳landonorris: nope! Lando!

↳oscarpiastri: seriously?

↳princesa: I’m glad he’s your teammate now

↳oscarpiastri: thanks 😑

↳landonorris: hey!

carlossainz55: Of course princesa…On an unrelated note, where are you again?

↳landonorris: not you too!

↳princesa: 🚪 here’s the door! Use it

↳landonorris: I’m gonna report you for bullying

↳princesa: try it twig!

carlossainz55: Hermosa…you tell me to behave but post that picture?

↳princesa: 🤭🤭

↳carlossainz55: 🥵

↳princesa: I’ve got the car waiting for you

↳carlossainz55: 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

user3: girl I’m begging you for just one chance

↳carlossainz55: No

↳user4: when you pull up for a competition to worship the princess and your competition is Carlos Sainz

princesa

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 1,975,245 others

tagged: carlossaiz55

princesa: 🏎️ 💨💨 vroom vroom — the cars may go fast but I’d like to take my time with you baby

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user5: congrats on the podium Carlos!!

user6: did she just…

↳user7: imply they fuck? Yes.

↳princesa: 😉

↳user7: girl Ferrari is gonna put you in pr jail

↳princesa: 🤷‍♀️ I look good in handcuffs

↳carlossainz55: 👀👀

↳princesa:😘💋❤️

landonorris: just once I’d like to open instagram and not be assaulted with you and your gross relationship 😠🤮

↳princesa: boo hoo does A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP scare you

↳landonorris: NO

↳carlossainz55: Oh?

↳landonorris: it’s your horny ass comments! Leave it at home!

↳princesa: it’s ok Lando — someday you’ll have a girlfriend

↳landonorris: ive haD GIRLDFRIENDS BEFORE

↳princesa: you’re behavior says otherwise tbh

↳landonorris: STOP LYING TO THE INTERNET

user8: did you guys go on a bike ride?

↳princesa: Carlos did! I was sitting pretty in the basket while he showed me around town before taking us to the beach, letting my man treat me right.

↳carlossainz55: As you should princesa, never lift a finger when I’m around

↳user8: wow that’s so cute and so sappy

↳user9: this comment thread called me single in every language

princesa

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 2,790,469 others

tagged: carlossainz55

princesa: thank you baby for the amazing break. I’m glad I got to spend some alone time with my handsome man. Next week it’s back to the grind — I just know you’ll be on top 🏆🏆

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carlossainz55: Princesa, I’d take you to the ends of the world if you’d ask

↳user10: same! 😭

↳carlossainz55: Not this princesa

↳princesa: I’d follow you anywhere you wanna take me handsome

carlossainz55: And you know I look good on top

↳princesa: i don’t know…wanna refresh my memory?

↳carlossainz55: I do need to get my cardio in today…

↳princesa: well let’s see how fast you are then…I’m waiting 😉

↳user11: YOU ARE IN PUBLIC

user12: I gotta say it…I’ve missed these horny comments. Insta just isn’t the same without them

↳user13: heeeeyyyy 🍑🍑🍆🍆💦💦

↳user12: eww no

charles_leclerc: Forza Ferrari Sempre!! Second half of the season will be ours!

↳carlossainz55: You know it!

↳princesa: Go Ferrari!

user14: no disgusted lando comments? What’s happening?

↳princesa: i blocked him for this post 😊

↳user14: 🤣🤣

princesa

liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 2,982,122 others

tagged: carlossainz55

princesa: Ferrari might be all red but baby, blue is your color — I believe a congratulations is in order Mr Race Winner

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user15: what a race…a Ferrari, McLaren, Williams podium was not on my bingo card for the year…

user16: petition for Ferrari to officially change its color to blue

↳user17: girl like 10 different drivers dnfed

↳user16: but Carlos won!

carlossainz55: Thank you mi amor ❤️

↳princesa: No tengo las palabras para describir lo orgulloso que estoy de ti! (I don't have the words to describe how proud I am of you!)

↳carlossainz55: Conozco mi amor y eso está bien. (I know my love and that's fine.)

↳princesa: I do know how I’m gonna congratulate you tho!

↳carlossainz55: 😳😳

carlossainz55: Are you going to be my prize, mi amor?

↳princesa: oh baby you know it!

↳princesa: just wait and see what I’ve got planned for you

↳carlossainz55: 🥵🥵

↳landonorris: 🤮🤮

↳landonorris: why? Must I? Suffer?

↳princesa: i should have kept you blocked

↳landonorris: i just wanted to congratulate my friend?

↳princesa: do it on your own post and let me be horny for my man in peace

↳landonorris: you’re uninvited to my party tonight?

↳princesa: for what? You dnfed like first

↳landonorris: 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

alex_albon: congrats man! It was great to be able to share a podium with you!

↳carlossainz55: Felicitaciones a ti también (Congratulations to you too)

↳carlossainz55: it was good to see you on the podium as well

oscarpiastri: great race!

↳carlossainz55: You as well!

princesa

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 2,556,223 others

tagged: carlossainz55

princesa: Winning looks good on you baby. You should do it more often 🏆

In all seriousness, congratulations on your season Carlos — you did fantastic this year and it was such a pleasure to travel with you and watch you live your dreams.

That said — I’m very excited for the couple of months we will have to ourselves 😘💋❤️

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carlossainz55: Princesa…I loved every second of this year, racing and traveling with you. Thank you for agreeing to my crazy idea and following me around the world.

↳princesa: oh my love…No había ningún otro lugar en el que preferiría estar que a tu lado. (There was no other place where I would rather be than by your side)

↳carlossainz55: No podría haber pedido un mejor socio (I couldn't have asked for a better partner)

carlossainz55: All to ourselves huh? 🤔

↳princesa: i know! Whatever will we do with all that time? 🤭😉

↳carlossainz55: Oh I can think of a few things 😏

↳landonorris: YEAH. GOLFING. HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. VISITING FAMILY!!

↳princesa: Oh, estoy tan contenta de tener un par de meses lejos de este niño... (I'm so happy to have a couple of months away from this child)

↳landonorris: Wrong!

↳carlossainz55: Since when can you read Spanish?

��princesa: since when can you read?

↳landonorris: I’m reporting you again for bullying! And google translate exists ya know

↳landonorris: also! I’m gonna be visiting you this break

↳princesa: sorry not interested in a threesome

↳landonorris: NOOOO

↳landonorris: Carlos promised me a couple rounds of golf so there 😝

↳carlossainz55: it was a moment of weakness

user18: oh to have a champagne soaked Carlos Sainz sprint over to me to kiss me senseless after a spectacular race,,,

↳princesa: it’s a great experience! But get your own — this one is mine

↳user18: girl we’ve seen all your comments this year. We know

↳princesa: just like reminding people they can look but not have 😊

user19: i know everyone has been focusing on their…horniness this year but damn she must love him too. To quit her job just to follow him across the world…

↳princesa: it was a scary thought at first but I’m so glad I did it

↳carlossainz55: I am as well

↳landonorris: I’m not. Go away

↳princesa: I’m gonna be honest with you. We get worse with distance — you got off light this year

↳landonorris: nooooooooooooooo

↳user20: and they’re back to their regular programming

user21: my favorite part of the season is now knowing Lando Norris is the type of person to clutch his pearls at the sight of an ankle…

↳user22: right? Not what i expected

↳landonorris: I AM NOT!

↳user22: sure Jan

↳landonorris: I CAN HANDLE SEX JUST FINE THEIR JUST BEING MEAN TO ME

↳user21: ok grandpa, let’s get you back to bed

↳landonorris: NOT YOU GUYS TOO…

carlossainz55

liked by princesa, landonorris, user, and 4,822,445 others

tagged: princesa

carlossainz55: No more Ferrari PR jail, no more hiding these in my camera roll. My gorgeous gorgeous girl 🥵🥵 I’m so glad to be able to call you mine

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princesa: well let’s not completely get rid of the jail…I do quite like the handcuffs ☺️

↳carlossainz55: I could be persuaded

↳princesa: meet me in five?

↳carlossainz55: 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

user23: oh my god you guys were being tame???

↳princesa: oh absolutely

↳user23: oh my god…

user24: can Carlos fight? Like seriously?

↳carlossainz55: Yes

↳user25: I think if a group of us get together we could take him

↳carlossainz55: You’d be wrong

↳princesa: sorry girls guys and nonbinary pals — I am a one man girl

↳princesa: and I think I’d have to report you to someone

↳user25: you know what? That’s fair

↳used24: and hot!?! Gotta love that kind of loyalty

landonorris: I’m gonna deactivate my account

↳princesa: I didn’t think I’d get my Christmas present so early!

↳landonorris: 😑😑

↳carlossainz55: I’ll give you a Christmas present 🎁

↳princesa: a big one?

↳carlossainz55: Oh you know it

↳landonorris: NOT ON MY COMMENT THREAD. GO AWAY

user26: Sad to see Carlos leave Ferrari but good god am I excited to see the more unhinged version of him in Williams…

↳user27: thank god I’m not the only one

[world-of-fire-and-flight]

The Lair in the Woods

A/N: I meant to post this yesterday but my day got hijacked by a migraine😭 (I’m fine now but oof my weekend got away from me! I still have to finish making my Christmas tree topper…) (I did however schedule my Insta and FB posts for the week though so there’s that😎)

Warnings: Some anxiety and feelings of fear, reference to stalker, self-image issues, reference to (past) threats, confessions (of sorts)

My Masterlist | Taglist Info or Taglist Request Form | The Lair in the Woods masterlist

Civilian furrowed their brow. “What are you insinuating?”

The more Supervillain asked them, the more overwhelmed and helpless Caretaker’s heart became. They’d asked questions about their childhood, about their job, about the grocery store clerk that usually rang them up, and everything in between. Most of their questions Civilian couldn’t even answer, because how should they know if someone was watching them while they’d walked the dogs at the shelter they volunteered at or if they kept running into the same person at the pharmacy and then again at the mall when they went shopping?

“Maybe we should take a break,” Supervillain smiled warily, as if they should be the one to feel exasperated by their line of questioning.

“Was any of that actually helpful to you, or are we still nowhere near figuring out who my stalker is?” Civilian asked, their voice full of dejection.

Supervillain’s lips pressed into a thin line. They nodded slowly. “I think if we can piece some things together, like the timing of the letters and what…‘event’ we’ll call them, they correlated with, and try to discern a pattern and draw a list of suspects from that, we’ll find your stalker. They will not torment you forever, Civilian. I promise you that.”

Their savior’s words didn’t fill Civilian with any warmth. Their stomach churned with doubt.

Supervillain had asked them a lot of questions. They hadn’t been able to offer their companion many answers.

“It all just seems so random,” Civilian mumbled, leaning back into the couch cushions and resting their head against the top. “Nothing about it makes any sense to me. I’m…I’m really not that noticeable…or…well, you know. Pretty.”

Supervillain scoffed. “People are drawn to different art forms for a reason, so whether or not you’re attractive matters only to your stalker.”

“Thank you?” Civilian turned to look at them, not entirely sure if their words offered any actual comfort or if Supervillain had only offered them out of duty. But Supervillain’s eyes gleamed seriously. The lines of their face had softened with an honest expression. Swallowing, Civilian quickly added, “But I’m not a painting.”

“Who said you had to be painting? You could be a sculpture instead,” Supervillain teased.

Civilian smiled, glancing away. “All right fine. I guess my stalker likes what they see. That’s not very comforting though, given…Their letters were…I wish I could’ve burned them.”

“But it’s a good thing you didn’t. They’re still evidence, and we could use them. Writing is like another thumbprint. Everyone has their own style, so there’s going to be something there to help prove that the person we bring to justice is your stalker. That, and I’m sure we’ll find other evidence to help convict them.”

“They’re typed though. We can’t exactly compare how they cross their t’s.”

“No, but sentence structure, word choice, and spelling can all help us.”

Civilian picked at an invisible thread on their pant leg. They hadn’t thought of that.

“We’ll find them,” Supervillain repeated. “And I think I know exactly how we’re going to draw them out.” Civilian’s breath hitched, fearing what their savior was about to propose. They’d hinted at a plan forming in their mind, and if the excited gleam in their eye was anything to go by, it seemed Supervillain was ready to share it. Pausing at their panic, Supervillain offered them an assuring smile, “You’ll be completely safe, don’t worry. In fact, you’re going to stay right here, completely protected by my team of highly trained professionals and Medic. But…Well, it’s not necessarily a bad thing I suppose,” Supervillain paused, turning away from them and leaning back in their chair. “I have a confession to make before I can tell you my plan.”

“O-okay?” Civilian gripped the arm of the couch. Their muscles coiled, ready to vault them off the couch and out the door. “What is it?”

Supervillain sucked in a breath. “It’s…easier if I show you, but some people find it rather…unsettling.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to show me,” Civilian stuttered, “I’ll believe you.”

Supervillain raised a brow. “If you say so. Either way, I know you’re not going to like what I have to say because most sensible people don’t.” Civilian watched as Supervillain slowly stood from their chair and stepped away from the cozy seating area.

Encouraged by the distance they’d put between them, Civilian nodded uncertainly. “What is it?”

“I have superpowers,” Supervillain said slowly. “And not just any superpowers, I can shapeshift. So I can do this.”

Civilian watched, mystified as Supervillain’s features morphed and rearranged themselves before their very eyes. They weren’t sure if the rock in their throat was from their initial terror or because some part of them was repulsed by the grotesque display of skin and muscle rearranging themselves as Supervillain’s stature shrank, their hair grew out and changed color, and their entire appearance changed. The clothes became baggy and hung from Supervillain’s changed figure, a figure that Civilian had seen everyday of their life, every time they looked in the mirror.

Supervillain had become them.

Civilian gulped.

“You could be anybody,” they said, their mouth dry. “Even my stalker.”

“You’re right,” Supervillain said calmly, “I could be anybody, but right now I’m you.”

Civilian nodded. “So this is how you’re going to do it. You’re going to pretend to be me?”

“Yes…” Supervillain trailed off.

Civilian’s head hurt. They tried to focus, they really did. But all their mind could fixate on was the fact that a perfect copy of themselves stood in front of them, that that’s what their voice sounded like to other people, and that Supervillain had shapeshifted into them of all people.

“Close your eyes.”

They didn’t even think twice, doing as Supervillain said without question. It didn’t stop their temples from throbbing though.

“Okay.” Supervillain’s voice had returned to normal, and as Civilian opened their eyes, they were met with the sight of the figure of their savior as they’d been introduced to. Well-fitted clothes and all. “So yes, as I was going to explain, I—” Supervillain let out a heavy sigh and plopped back down in their chair. “Go ahead. Ask me anything you want.”

Civilian nearly burst, “Why that form? Is that what you really look like? Does it…” They glanced down at their lap, trying to calm themselves before they asked something insensitive.

“I like this height. It’s tall enough to reach the top shelf, but not so tall as to be noticeable and draw attention from people,” Supervillain said, amusement clear in their voice. “I plead the fifth on your second question, namely because telling you either way would risk my entire business, and no. It doesn’t hurt me. It looks worse than it feels. It’s more like…Well I guess it’s that I’m used to it. When I shrink it’s not so bad, but it can feel like stretching sometimes when I shift taller, but other times it’s like I’m pulling a muscle. The, uh, ‘joint pain’ I’ll call it because it’s sort of like that, as my bones shift isn’t fun, but like I said, I’m used to it.” Supervillain shrugged dismissively.

Supervillain avoided their gaze. From where they sat, Civilian could see how their hands clenched the arms of their chair. Civilian stared at them for a second, letting it all sink in and tried to wrap their head around everything.

“So…you can shapeshift and you run a private security firm that has a base of operations in an old ski lodge.”

Supervillain nodded slowly. They still hadn’t glanced their way. “That’s right.”

“I feel like you’re not telling me something,” Civilian said quietly. Supervillain tensed under their gaze, their eyes finally snapping to them. Civilian couldn’t hold their gaze, fearing the answer to what they wanted to ask—what they were going to ask. “Are you…I mean, I know you can’t answer this but…” They hesitated, debating with themselves if they should even ask. “Are you a hero or something?”

The Lair in the Woods Taglist: @just-a-space-rabbit @classicplesiosaur @pigeonwhumps @heninthegarden @kaiwewi @korejon @rivalriotrenegade @alpacamelons @averyconfusedhuman @amerementdoux @istealpants @sweetpeaflower01 @theimportantbreadtraveler @spideyholland @alltimelowing Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed (no reason necessary😊)! You can also fill out this handy dandy form if you’d like to be added too!

[storiesabouthumanandthings]

The Punk and The Suit 8

Kieran posts a thirst-ish post of his new charcoal suit with black shirt half unbuttoned, floral vest completely unbuttoned, and golden bow-tie that is currently draped loose around his neck, untied, free hand in his pocket.  

@KOArt23 - *Got some new threads special for my new art gallery, come check it out if you are in the area. Suit handpicked by my special stalker ; ) iykyk*

The post blows up a bit. Lots of people liking and thirsting. A few concerned questions about the stalker that go unanswered and then the  comments from the family.

@stpaddyspatties - *you’re letting the lawyer dress you now like a lawyer? Grammo ain’t gonna like this #traitor*

@KOArt23 - *middle finger emoji*

@StPaulsPot8oes - *oh look who can take a shower and clean up for once*

@KOArt23 - *Jealous, Potato Head? @StPaulsPot8oes*

@ScorchingSorcha08 - *if a beautiful woman disagrees with me, I will immediately change my views/ well maybe you should have principles/ you’re right maybe I should meme* *dis you*

@KOArt23 - *Don’t you have some homework to do besides trying to roast me @ScorchingSorcha08*

@1MaryAnnette - *look how gorgeous my baby boy can be. Why don’t you dress so nice every day?*

@KOArt23 - *thanks mom @1MaryAnnette*

@thegoldensuit28 - *Next time we go out, we need to actually skate and not just go clothes shopping.*

Kristoph was happy when his comment was largely ignored except for a single like from Kieran.

Kristoph was just going to shut his phone when he gets a text from Kieran. It’s a map pin to a skate park with a quick message *meet me tomorrow morning since you are so desperate to see me again you have to stalk my Insta ; P*

The next morning when Kristoph arrives at the park it was mostly empty. He saw Kieran riding about, doing ollies and grinds as he waited. Once Kieran noticed Kristoph, he waived him over and rolled over to a bench that had his bag and drink.

Walking up, Kristoph couldn’t help but notice how Kieran was chugging an energy drink, “I thought it was odd when you said to meet in the morning. Not to sound rude, but nothing about you screams you are a morning person.”

Kieran yawning, “I ain’t. But the morning is when the park is quietest. Figured you wouldn’t want others around as you learned and fell.”

Kristoph nodded and was touched by the forethought, “Thank you. But I also don’t want to be putting you out just to teach me.”

Kieran waves his hand, “Shut up, if I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have offered. Anyways, are you left or right footed?”

Kristoph looked down at his feet, “I am not sure what you mean?”

Kieran suddenly shoved Kristoph hard, causing to take a step back with his right foot.

“What was that-”

Kieran interrupts, “You’re right-footed. Not surprising. So your left foot will be forward and you’ll kick with your right.”

Kristoph looks at his board, “And which way is forward?”

“The direction you are going. If you haven’t noticed, boards roll both ways so it doesn’t matter which end is pointed forward, just your left foot is in front.”

Kristoph nods, “But I have seen people, you even, use both feet.”

Kieran laughs, “Yeah but you’re a noob. Maybe with enough practice, you can do both but for now, lets just get you rolling without falling all the time so you don’t need all this padding.”

“I am not sure about that. Falling sucks and even pros like you fall.”

“Quit flirting, I am not a pro, just better than most. Now just stand on your board.”

They spent the next few hours training. Come lunch as people started to show, Kristoph was able to stand and kick a little but not much else.

“For your first time, not bad. Tell you what. Let’s take lunch but we’ll ride the boards there.”

“You sure about that?”

“It’ll be good practice but I will say it will take a long while to get there. There’s a lot of things to get stuck on in the sidewalk.”

”Will your family own this food truck too?”

Kieran laughed, “No, just Paddy and Paul own food businesses. We won’t be seeing my family today.”

Kieran wasn’t wrong about it taking longer. ‘It might have been quicker to walk,’ thought Kristoph when they finally arrived. They got their food and found a table to sit and eat.

Kieran’s little cousin, Sorcha, spots them and snaps a pic of them leaning over the table towards each other as they talked, the camera sound is loud enough they both look up.

“Oi! Who you taking pictures of Sor?” yelled out a confused Kieran

“Paddy said you had a boyfriend but I didn’t believe him,” She grins and starts tapping on her phone.

“Hey! Hey!” Kieran tries to jump up and trips over the chair. “What are you doing? You better not be sending that to my mom.”

He reaches for her phone right when his phone starts ringing. “Oh you little punk!”

He swipes up on the phone, “Hey Ma.”

Immediately, Kristoph could hear her scolding him loudly about how he must be ashamed of her since they still aren’t introduced but he’s taken him to meet Paddy and Paul and now Sorcha. This caused Kristoph to smile, that they wanted to meet him.

Pretty soon Sorcha’s phone rings, “Hello Uncle Tommy, Oh yeah Kieran’s right here. Yup, Aunty is currently on the phone with him. Oh sure.”

She waves at Kieran who was largely ignoring her as he was failing to calm his mother. When she finally got his attention, he gestured what at her.

She hands the phone to Kieran who takes it, with a phone in each hand.

His dad proceeds to scold him loud enough to hear about the same things his mom is.

Pretty soon Kristoph can hear Kieran’s dad saying, “Wait a minute Grammo is here too and wants the phone on speaker,” Then comes the voice of his grandma with the same scolding.

Sorcha is just grinning and eating Kieran’s food whilst he stands there with two phones as close to his ears as he can probably tolerate.

She turns to Kristoph, “So you a lawyer?”

“What? No, why would you think that? Paddy and Paul said it too.”

“Well you’re in a suit, aren’t you?”

“You know many different occupations make you wear a suit, it’s not just lawyers.”

Sorcha shrugs, “Eh, just checking, Grammo doesn’t much like lawyers.”

She finished Kieran’s food and leans over Kieran’s arm where her phone is, “Hey Uncle Tommy I need to get to practice so I need my phone back.”

Kieran placed the phone on speaker so she could hear, “Sorry Sorcha. We are not done discussing plans with Kieran, can you just drop by his place later and get it back?”

Sorcha makes a sour face but agrees, “I guess that’s fine. Well see you later Ki and boyfriend who is not a lawyer.”

“I have a name!” Kristoph protests.

She just waves and leaves.  

When Kieran finally hangs up both phones he puts his head down on the table and mumbles defeatedly.

“What was that, can’t hear you.”

Not raising his head but speaking up, “I hope you are free tomorrow for dinner. Grammo insisted on her house tomorrow. I bet she’s calling the whole family too.” He groans and reaches for his plate.

“Oh! Yeah, I am free. Also, Sorcha ate your food while you were on the phone, well phones.”

Kieran’s head pops up and looks at his empty plate “Why that little… Some nerve to get me in trouble and then steal my food.” Kieran picks up his phone and angrily types. The phone next to him dings, “Oh, Dammit! I forgot I have her phone.”

Kristoph couldn’t help his delighted little laugh, “You can have some of mine if you want.” then he grins mischievously “So what happened to not seeing your family today?”

Kieran groans before grumbling, “Should have known I would run into at least one of them. Bet a tenth of the city is just my family. Thanks for the offer but I’ll get my food. Again. The fucking brat.”

First Previous

[cipherdice]

I've put this on twitter and bluesky as well, but longer version for my tumblr besties: with the continued enshittification of twitter and growing fascism on that platform, I continue to search for a good alternative to the heyday of dice twitter. there's nothing really like it out there! so much energy for creatives and creators, so many cool new ideas and things and methods, and so much love within the ttrpg community overall. as a die-hard tumblr user, it's perfect for what it is, it just isn't a replacement for what twitter was circa 2020 for dice stuff. it's really not adaptable to giveaways or other time-limited info. on the other hand, I get a huge thrill from seeing one of my dice sets get traction out of nowhere because someone decided to share it over a year after it was posted. that's amazing! and yet, the search for a platform that approximates the energy of old twitter continues.

I don't have a good answer. I'm on bluesky, but no videos makes showing off dice harder. I've considered tiktok but it seems...difficult. I hate insta and won't use threads on principle. I have accounts on cohost and hive under the same name but they're not very active. I think I should just make like...a blog. idk.

to top it all off, mailchimp bought tinyletter (my newsletter service) and then closed it in february. I moved my service over to mailchimp for now (again, maybe a blog?? I think I can do a newsletter via wordpress?? idk, I'm trying to learn the entire human body, y'all, learning a new platform feels like 1 thing too many), and I'd really love it if you signed up. I'm hoping to get enough people there that I can run giveaways and updates just via email. link if you're interested.

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

Anon: The announced return to insta in people is again a choice. It’s long rumored but why now?? // Because after a divorce (even now, TBH), all she has left is influencer-type deals with lower tier brands, like what she's wearing now and what she wore before meeting Harry. So she needs IG for the merching. But she won't be able to handle all the negative comments, and she can't convey any sort of authentic personality, so it won't go far. Or at least not as far as she needs it to.

She’s trying to get some kind of deal with Meta to promote Threads and IG. That’s why she’s putting this out now. It’s not going to work.

I know in the past I analyzed her pr drives based on brand management and storylines, but I don’t think that’s where she is right now. She needs a deal. She’s fishing for deals and she has specific targets (Dior, Audible, Meta, someone who can give her a series like Suits or a competition show, etc…).

[kellodrawsalot]

so wanted to post a fast review of a series, I did not expect to like, people I followed pretty much called it a trashfire and there were jokes all over social media over the quality of it's story and it's lackluster animation, so I went in with the mindset not too expect too much and well...

it''s pretty good?

wait no wat, it's pretty good, i myself am confused I enjoyed it alot, did I watched the same show as the people who hated it?

don't get me wrong the series has problems, the swearing gets a bit tirdesome and the pacing is all over the place. The show takes a lesson from spiderverse and lego movies by not giving its viewer any room to breath, Every scene is important to one of the major plot threads, episode 4 is a triggering episode that you should read upront on, that i can't comment on. The character desings are a hit and miss and not all the jokes land. But when the show wants to tell it's story, wants you to get to know the characters you can't help but get so invested and wanting to learn more. The different plot threads that it starts are all major good that you want to keep following the story. But what I like most about the show that it's not a cast of a ''nuclear'family or a group of high school teenagers or a group of super heroes. No it's a weird mixed of very troubling (sinners) adults in a found-family situation.

The story is about the Princess of Hell named Charlie who opened a Hotel in the hope she could redeem Sinners so they can go to heaven and avoid slaughter by the angels, that happens once a year, but due to angel Adam (yes that Adam) being a dick, the slaugher will happen again in just six MONTHS.

and that's all i need to tell you, a big theme about this series is Redemption and that it does it nicely well. The interaction between the characters is also majorly fun and let's just say there is a reason the Ost of Hazbin Hotel has been trending on Spotify it's freaking good.

The pacing doesn't bother me too much myself because Hazbin remindds me of a musical/stageplay and I love those.

(the Seramyu musicals are btw really good. give them a watch too)

regardless if you don't like HH that's all fine but I think one of the best things about it' being a hit, (it's one of the top shows on prime in over thirty countries) that in a time where big studios play it safe by having most adult cartoons follow the simpsons formula, try to copy the rick and morty style of storytelling, or in case of Disney and Marvel today, with Bob Iger saying they be focussing on big franchises and sequels for now, trying to shift the blame on original stories on why their movies aren't doing good. (despite them not even promoting said og movies and making the writers play it super SAFE) we have Hazbin Hotel, an animated show for adults that is so Unapologetic, Queer! Doesn't follow any save formula, is such an obvious passion project and is a huge hit! Last time I was this impressed was with Netflix Pluto and Nimona. HH is also a series I would love to see on stage! Hazbin Hotel is not for everyone but I would suggest give it a chance instaed of letting social media decide for you. (which i know you can disgard my post too, but I just wanted to say, I'm glad me and my friends watched this series and just ignored most of the hate, because we all enjoyed it and are playing the songs on repeat lolol)