#found in my drafts from mar 15

[themundanemudperson]

Don't think about Aaron Minyard

Don't think about Aaron Minyard at the Foxes and Ravens match

Don't think about how he had to watch his brother be attacked

Don't think about how he only had enough time to shout

Don't think about how he wasn't fast enough

Don't think about him seeing someone swing a racquet at Andrew

Don't think about how he knows damn well that a racquet swung with enough force can kill a man

Don't think about how he remembers the weight of that racquet in his hands as he swung

Don't think about how he fought for his brother

Don't think about Aaron Minyard

[auntiebillionaire]

Pay attention. They are censoring us on Facebook in regards to Elon Musk.

Philip Low has a story to tell. He’s known Elon personally for 15 years and gives a great insight to who this problem is. I wish I could say this proved me wrong and made me feel better. Nope it’s just as bad as we thought.

Many people who have shared Philip’s post have been fact checked by Facebook (after Zuckerberg removed Facebook fact-checking)

PHILIPS POST BELOW

[Someone at Facebook is trying to silence me because he/she found Elon’s name on a couple of patents. To be clear, the post reads: “the reason his name is on so few patents is because putting a fake inventor on a patent would kill it and moreover it would reveal the superstars behind the work.”

SpaceX+Tesla+Boring+Neuralink have 1406 patents collectively. Elon’s name is only on 14, less than 1%.

I fully stand by this, Mark Zuckerberg.

If this fake fact-check continues, I will most likely leave and encourage everyone to follow me, and sue.

In the meantime, everyone can find me @ BrainKing on BlueSky and Substack as well as @ dr-philip-low-b742ba on LinkedIn.]

I have known Elon Musk at a deep level for 14 years, well before he was a household name. We used to text frequently. He would come to my birthday party and invite me to his parties. He would tell me everything about his women problems. As sons of highly accomplished men who married venuses, were violent and lost their fortunes, and who were bullied in high school, we had a number of things in common most people cannot relate to. We would hang out together late in Los Angeles. He would visit my San Diego lab. He invested in my company.

Elon is not a Nazi, per se.

He is something much better, or much worse, depending on how you look at it.

Nazis believed that an entire race was above everyone else.

Elon believes he is above everyone else. He used to think he worked on the most important problems. When I met him, he did not presume to be a technical person — he would be the first to say that he lacked the expertise to understand certain data. That happened later. Now, he acts as if he has all the solutions.

All his talk about getting to Mars to “maintain the light of consciousness” or about “free speech absolutism” is actually BS Elon knowingly feeds people to manipulate them. Everything Elon does is about acquiring and consolidating power. That is why he likes far right parties, because they are easier to control. That is also why he gave himself $56 Billion which could have gone to the people actually doing the work and innovations he is taking credit for at Tesla (the reason his name is on so few patents is because putting a fake inventor on a patent would kill it and moreover it would reveal the superstars behind the work). His lust for power is also why he did xAI and Neuralink, to attempt to compete with OpenAI and NeuroVigil, respectively, despite being affiliated with them. Unlike Tesla and Twitter, he was unable to conquer those companies and tried to create rivals. He announced Neuralink just after I invited his ex-wife, which she and I notified him about, to a fundraising dinner for Hebrew University in London (The fact that she tried to kiss me — I immediately pushed her away — while taking a photo at that event, even if playfully, clearly may have added to the alienation and possible emasculation he may have felt when she spoke to me in a pool at a party when they were together and she was naked. To not be disrespectful to her or to him, I stayed but looked at the sky whilst talking to her). I fired him with cause in December 2021 when he tried to undermine NV. It is ironic that later, he clearly tried to undermine Twitter before buying it, and in my view, blowing it up and using it to manipulate the masses to lean to the far right in country after country, including the USA.

[Here is more detail as some people asked. After he received a press release draft confirming NV never took a penny from the US Government, he asked to be removed from the Business Advisory Board, but then tried to give the stock he bought back, including for no money, which could have completely crashed NV’s stock price. I told him he was fired from the BAB, with cause, as he admitted he had not been participating. That also meant he had no ability to exercise his stock options (years prior, despite not being allowed to discuss his investment because of a solid NDA, he/his people leaked to the press that he had invested twice as much in NV as he actually did, as if the stock options had been counted as stock). This is the email I sent him around that time:

“Elon,

Only one of us apparently knows the difference between Science and PR, and between friendship and phonies, and unfortunately you ain’t it.

Let’s cut ties here.

Your NV stock is not being transferred, and if you try to transfer it without my consent, in contravention of your stock purchase agreement, I will have to shove my boots so deep up your derrière, legally, that your pissing contest with Bezos will seem like it was from another life, one you want to get back to.

Good luck with your implants, all of them, and with building Pottersville on Mars.

Seriously, don’t fuck with me.”

Elon has less than 0.05% of NV and was never a principal or principal investor in NV as was falsely reported by some. I own between 80 and 90%. NV is the most valuable neurotech company in the world and does not regard Neuralink as a competitor because we have an arsenal of patents and introduced our technology to customers in 2009 and furthermore do not view their implantable technology as scalable. Moreover, the company is apparently under investigation regarding statements Elon made to investors and most of Neuralink’s co-founders ditched Elon and the company.]

Elon did two Nazi Salutes.

He briskly extended his right arm at a 45 degree angle, and kept his palm and fingers in full alignment. That’s the textbook definition of a Nazi Salute, which he did twice.

If there were Nazi Salute Olympics, Elon would have taken the Gold Medal.

The question is thus not “whether” he did two Nazi Salutes, but rather “why”.

He did them for five main reasons:

1. He was concerned that the “Nazi wing” of the MAGA movement, under the influence of Steve Bannon, would drive him away from Trump, somewhere in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, rather than in the West Wing which is where he wants to be. He was already feeling raw over the fact that Trump did not follow his recommendation for Treasury Secretary and that the Senate also did not pick his first choice;

2. He was upset that he had had to go to Israel and Auschwitz to make up for agreeing with a Nazi sympathizer online and wanted to reclaim his “power” just like when he told advertisers to “go fuck yourself”. This has nothing to do with Asperger’s;

3. There are some Jews he actually hates: Sam Altman is amongst them;

4. He enjoys a good thrill and knew exactly what he was doing;

5. His narcissistic self was hoping the audience would reflect his abject gesture back to him, thereby showing complete control and dominion over it, and increasing his leverage over Trump. That did not happen.

Bottom line: Elon is not a Nazi but he did give two Nazi Salutes, which is completely unacceptable.

——————————————————————————-

N.B. For the few whining about my post “sans connaissance the cause” and either trembling about my having shattered their illusions about their cult leader or thinking I am defending Elon:

I. My point is that he is transactional rather than ideological;

II. That being said, I am not defending him or his actions, just explaining them and confirming that he did, in fact, do two Nazi Salutes if anyone had doubts or believed the doctored footage of Taylor Swift doing the same thing to normalize what Elon did;

III. At some point, it matters to few people if one is a Nazi or if one acts like one. My father was a Holocaust Survivor. 32 out of 35 of his family members were murdered by Nazis. My mother’s grandparents were murdered in Auschwitz;

IV. After Elon tried to manipulate NV’s stock in 2021, I fired him with cause, and he was unable to exercise his stock options. In the aftermath of the Nazi Salutes, I told both him and his wealth manager to fuck off. Any remaining friendship between us ended with the Nazi Salutes. He is blocked on my end and I am pretty sure I am blocked on his;

V. I did not share what he told me in confidence. I just happen to know him extremely well, the person, the aspirations and the Musk Mask;

VI. I know who I am, have no desire to be famous and give exceedingly few media interviews. I prefer to work in obscurity and let the work speak for itself. I am certainly not envious and would definitely not want Elon’s life, including living in a bubble and having to make one outlandish claim after another and manipulate the public, elections and governments to shore up my stock and prevent the bubble from bursting. Unlike Elon, I am an actual scientist and inventor and I am not pretending to be someone I am not, like a fellow who got his BA in Econ at 26 all of a sudden pretending to be an expert in mechanical engineering, chemistry, rocket science, neuroscience and AI and keeping the people actually doing the work hidden and paying people to play online games in his name to appear smart and feed his so-called “Supergenius” Personality Cult — the “Imperator” has no clothes, and he knows it. I am just very disappointed in what happened to someone I had a lot of deep admiration for and the first person to find out about my concerns about his behavior was always him;

VII. He is the one who betrayed a number of his friends, including Sergey, and, given his actions, many other people who believed him and believed in him. I have no sympathy for this behavior, and at some point, after having repeatedly confronted it in private, I believe the ethical thing to do is to speak out, forcefully and unapologetically, whatever the risks may be, so as to not be part of the timid flock remaining silent while evil is being done, including propping up far right governments around the world in part to deregulate his companies and become the first trillionaire and otherwise to “rule the planet” — he knows Mars won’t be terraformed in his lifetime and he really wants his planet. No joke… Ethics matter. People matter. The truth matters.

Elon is a self supremacist who wants to be dictator… of Earth, which makes him far more dangerous than a “regular” white supremacist or Nazi whose bigotry and hatred he can encourage and amplify to achieve his goals.

He is now actively undermining foreign democracies by massively giving support to the far right and using X to selectively amplify its message.

It is “hate speech” and it is definitely not “free speech” if other voices are relatively suppressed.

Foreign countries must see X for the poisonous platform it is and ban it completely, regardless of JD Vance’s assertion during the campaign that the US could withhold support of NATO if they were to do that — remember that JD Vance was recommended to Trump by Elon who met him through Peter Thiel. Elon and Vance could work to undermine Trump when he no longer serves Elon’s purposes, after Elon has weakened the country enough. Weakening the target is what Elon does before trying to take it over. He has done that in business, and the White House is his biggest investment.

For now, Elon seems to have convinced Trump that he would never have won without his financial support and “tech wizardry” and that he will not maintain his “edge” over the people without being boosted by X and over Congress without being able to have Elon use his resources to primary any dissenter. This is not unlike at Tesla where where Elon has convinced shareholders that for the company to be successful, they must keep him around and pay him billions because he is a “tech genius” who could easily take his “innovations” elsewhere, like Optimus which when it debuted at an event recently was nothing more than a remote controlled toy like the Mechanical Turk, a chess playing “automaton” “invented” in the late 18th century, which happened to actually be controlled by a human. Of course, there are those who will understand that Elon is hyping things and who won’t mind because it makes them money like they might have with the “DOGE” coin when he pumped it up on Saturday Night Live. That is a matter of conscience… but at some point, bubbles do burst.

Elon may also have told Trump that he can help set up puppet governments, such as in Canada and Denmark which owns Greenland, begging for the USA to annex them, in whole or in part. It may not be a coincidence that the new US Ambassador to Denmark is a close friend of Elon’s (I do know him, and I hereby make an appeal to his conscience, character, commitment to his country and to his continued integrity, no matter how hard this may be — History will remember either way). The tariffs on Canada have nothing to do with Fentanyl, they are about destabilizing and weakening the country and throwing it to the opposition, which Elon may be supporting financially on top of boosting on X.

I took down Descartes (through the Cambridge Declaration on Consciousness) and I am definitely not afraid of a so-called inventor whose greatest invention is his image.

I will not be silent. You should not be either. I am a sovereign individual, and so are you. I stood up to bullies, and am stepping out of the dark to do it again.

Stop working for him and being exploited by him. Sell your Tesla and dump your Tesla stock. Nikola Tesla was a great, creative and courageous man who led with ethics and by example and he would not have wanted for his good name to have been used by him and would agree with my principled stance. Sign off of “X” which is boosting far right propaganda, and of your Starlink as well. He is a complete cunt (British slang not meant to be offensive to women) who doesn’t give a shit about you — only about power. Just ask Reid Hoffman. He only wants to control, dominate and use you — don’t let him and cut him and his businesses out of your and your loved ones’ lives entirely. Remember he is a total miserable self-loathing poser, and unless you happen to be one too, he will be much more afraid of you than you should ever be of him.

He will probably come after me, and I am completely fine with that. I am a self-made multibillionaire with an armada of lawyers — literally — and most importantly, I know who I am and who I stand for, the people and their freedoms, whatever happens. He can send his dumb Proud Boys and Oath Keepers after me and they will be butchered on sight. Either way, I would rather die with honor than live as a coward.

“Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” — Elie Wiesel, Holocaust Survivor and Nobel Peace Prize laureate

PS. Days after this post went viral, Elon got a nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize, after other efforts to restore his made-up image (including an intervention by Bibi Netanyahu who does not want Elon against him when negotiating with Trump) all failed. Unless he is able to successfully manipulate the Nobel Committee, it is highly unlikely that it would award the Prize to anyone interfering with free elections, promoting hate speech, sympathizing with Nazis and doing Nazi Salutes.

[walkingstackofbooks]

My 2023 in Star Trek

This is a very random time to post this, but just found it in my drafts having left off from October, and decided I was in the mood for maths!

[Annoyingly, I've found that the previous year I did I bunch of data but only up to Dec 17th 2022? After which I watched a whole buunch more DS9 before the end of 2022 so I'm missing half a month? But hey ho. My 2023 data is mostly complete! 😅]

Total amount of Trek watched in 2023: 224 hours, made from 316 episodes across 23 different seasons.

Total amount of Trek watched ever: 745 hours (ishhh) made from 900+ episodes across 36 different seasons.

Percentage of Star Trek watched so far: 74% (Or 79%, with all series weighed equally) Percentage of Star Trek re-watched: 45% (Or 32%, with all series weighed equally) [Out of the Trek I’ve watched, not *all* Trek]

Overview of series watched in 2023: VOY - 1.5 seasons - 30 hours ENT - 0.5 seasons - 8 hours DS9 - 2.8 + 5.4 seasons - 151 hours TNG - 8 episodes + 1 movie - 8 hours SNW - 1 season - 8 hours LD - 2ish seasons - 7 hours PRO - 1 season - 7 hours

Monthly Log:

Jan - Voy s2e1 - s3e13; First Contact; DS9 s5e17 - end (101 episodes + film = 77 hours)

Feb - Ent s1e1-12 (12 episodes = 8 hours)

Mar - DS9 s1e1-e11 (11 episodes = 8 hours)

Apr - DS9 s1e12-2x25; TNG s4e12, s5e03, s6e10,e11,e20, s7e15,e20. (41 episodes = 30 hours)

May - DS9 s2e26-s3e24 ; TNG s7e24 (26 episodes = 20 hours)

June - DS9 s3e25-s4e06; SNW s2e1-3 (11 episodes = 10 hours)

July - DS9 s4e07-s4e21; SNW s2e4-e7 (19 episodes = 15 hours)

August - DS9 s4e22; SNW s2e8-10 (4 episodes = 4 hours)

September - DS9 s4e23-s5e7 (10); LD s2e9, s3e4-6,8-10, s4e1-5 (12); PRO e1-8 (8) - (30 episodes = 14 hours)

October - DS9 s5e8-e14 (7); LD s4e6-9 (4); PRO e9-15 (7) - (18 episodes = 10 hours)

November - [reconstructed] DS9 s5e15-s6e7 (34); LD s4e10? (1); PRO e16-20? (5) - (40 episodes = 26 hours)

December - [reconstructed] DS9 s6e8-10 - (3 episodes = 2 hours)

[rose-bookblood]

Characters Out of Context Tag

Thanks @aninkwellofnectar for tagging me!

Rules: Include one character quote of your choosing ⁠from each chapter of your WIP (or as many chapters as you'd like). Give absolutely no context, save for what's between two parts of an interrupted sentence, should that occur. You may mention who said it.

I'll do this with RWR, since it's in a later draft than BBtS.

Chapter 1

"It's so fun listening to you guys bicker in Spanish while we're risking our lives. Let's hope we attract the aliens so they too can enjoy the show."

Chapter 2

"You don't have much choice. Either you help me find my brother, or I kill you here and now. I can find another one of you."

Chapter 3

"What part of "hurry up" did you not understand?"

Chapter 4

"You humans listen to music, right?"

Chapter 5

"Always so dramatic. If you're yelling at me, it means you're breathing perfectly."

Chapter 6

"I can't believe it. We found a deserter."

Chapter 7

"One, that's your problem. Two, I don't give a fuck. Three, you're not doing anything."

Chapter 8

"If you don't knock it off, I swear I'll gag you and tie you to a chair until I get back."

Chapter 9

"I never considered you a monster."

Chapter 10

"Usually, you say thank you when someone saves your life."

Chapter 11

"This is the mainland. Here is a bridge that we'll have to cross to reach one of the islands."

Chapter 12

"I don't need any friends. I have Cisco. And you."

Chapter 13

"They're not shooting. Why aren't they shooting?"

Chapter 14

"I know you're a kind person and you see good in others. It's one of the best parts of you. But it also makes you vulnerable, and that human is taking advantage of it for her own gain."

Chapter 15

"I heard the facilities on Mars and on Jupiter's satellites are finally functional."

Chapter 16

"Listen, you don't have to trust me. You just need to follow my instructions until we're safe."

Chapter 17

"Guess whose fault this is."

Chapter 18

"If they catch us because of my shoes, I swear I'll kill you."

Chapter 19

"This is the archive. The prisoners' data is all catalogued here. Assigned number, placement, age range, health status, that sort of thing."

Chapter 20

"You're in a cell, it can't get worse than that."

Chapter 21

"A mediocre soldier, a human with more arrongance than common sense and a tied-up prisoner against a general."

Chapter 22

"Maybe, if you slammed your head against a wall, you'd become smart."

Tagging @ink-fireplace-coffee, @cherrybombfangirlwrites and @italiangothicwriteblr.

[kavrillia]

Moons of Kavrillia

I've long said that when I made up Kavrillia's moons I basically stole Earth's Moon and Mars' Phobos and Deimos and stuck them in orbit around my planet.

Messing around on Wikipedia, I found a cool image by NASA/JPL-Caltech/Malin Space Science Systems/Texas A&M University.

On the left, the sizes of the three satellites in question, as seen from the surface of their respective planets.

On the right is how Kavrillia's moons appeared once on Zenni's T-shirt.

I didn't realize there was such a difference in apparent size between Phobos and Deimos! They're not that different in actual size, but Deimos is much further from the planet than Phobos.

The Lanarians call their largest moon the Sky Pearl, but I've never named the two smaller ones. That's a gap in my worldbuilding I really should fill some time. The Vincarans think of the moons as the eyes of a couple of their gods, so I imagine they just call them "So-and-so's Eye."

Other food for thought from Wikipedia: Phobos is inching closer to Mars all the time and will someday break up, with some chunks falling to the planet and others forming a ring around it. Deimos is slowly moving away from Mars and will someday escape its gravity. I like to think Kavrillia's moons are more stable than that, although nothing is going to happen to them during the timeframe of my writing, either way. (Just like Mars will continue to have two moons in the real world for far longer than any of us will be around to see them.)

Due to the angle of its orbit, Deimos is not visible from the surface of Mars if you're above 82.7 degrees of latitude. I never thought about that being a thing. I wonder if all three of Kavrillia's moons are visible all over the planet (and if not, how Vincarans reconciled that with their mythology. Ainia is winking?)

As for Phobos, to quote Wikipedia, "from the point of view of an observer on the surface of Mars, it rises in the west, moves comparatively rapidly across the sky (in 4 h 15 min or less) and sets in the east, approximately twice each Martian day (every 11 h 6 min)."

Deimos rises in the east and sets in the west, the opposite of Phobos, and takes about 2.5 days to cross the sky. From the surface of Mars, it appears to be about 1/12th of the width of Earth's Moon, i.e. it looks more like Venus or Vega does to us here. Definitely not big enough to put on a T-shirt!

So I guess I didn't copy from the real world as closely as I thought I did. Which is fine! Kavrillia is a fictional planet, so it can have whatever characteristics I want.

The calendar maker at World Anvil has options to track moons of varying periods, and I entered pretty random figures when I made a rough draft of the Melzeen calendar. That calendar isn't canon (yet), but knowing a bit more about how real moons work should help with the next revision.

Not that anyone is ever going to think about this in as much detail as I am. ;)

[sunniskyies]

𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞-𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐝 || 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐟𝐢𝐜

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Finnick Odair x original female character 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: All warnings can be found on the series' masterlist 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6.37k 𝐀/𝐍: Starting off the series with a long chapter! This series has been sitting in my drafts for a month now, but I just can't let all the hours it took go to waste !! So I'll be dropping the chapters whenever I complete them

𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞-𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝟎𝟑 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝟐𝟑𝟎𝟖

1… 2… 3…

The soft white sand responds to the footfalls, creating small wisps of powder that stick to the soles of her feet as she runs.

13… 14… 15…

The footsteps pound down the stretch for packed, wet sand that precedes the waters edge.

18… 19-

The girl’s strides are cut off by the sloshing of waves around her ankles, and she continues wading deeper until the water reaches her hips. With a quick dive, she plunges into the cool water. She floats beneath the surface until her lungs ache, relishing the cold that sinks into her skin.

Gasping for air, she floats on her back for a moment, bobbing over the waves and watching the sun try to haul itself over the horizon like a lazy egg yolk. Soon her exposed skin dries and begins to chill, so she returns to splashing around in the waves like a kid, diving and laughing loudly. In this sliver of time when the sun is first stretching its limbs and the waves are stirring from their slumber, this beach belongs to her. The girl soaks in the icy water and the soft sand, her ocean-blue eyes drinking in the way the lazy egg cracks open, spilling fiery orange and salmon pinks across the sky. This moment is all hers.

Unbeknownst to the girl, someone else is sharing this moment. Further up the sandy curve of the beach, a man sits nestled between two dunes. He too is watching the sunrise, enjoying the tranquillity of this silent hour of the day. Well, he was, but a girl had appeared not long ago and began swimming and squealing in the tide. He watches her, the sun plastering a rim of golden light around her figure that sets her blonde hair aglow, fascinated.

The girl realises with a jolt that she must have been here for about 10 minutes. She clambers to her feet in the water, getting traction on the seabed to scramble back to the beach. Eventually back on the sand, she jogs up to the dunes to a particular swathe of tussock and beach grass that is concealing her bag. Her cold fingers fumble at the buckle, finally reaching inside and revealing a soft dry towel.

After loosely drying the droplets of water from her gooseflesh skin, the girl bundles her soaking tangle of curls up in the towel. She wrinkles her nose at the crease lines marring her Academy uniform, but hastily starts pulling it on. She is going to be late—again—and she really doesn’t want to be kicked out. Leaving her damp bikini on underneath, she first pulls on her navy-and-white tracksuit pants and then her athletic compression shirt. It is a white-and–navy sleeveless shirt with a zip up the middle, and it has the crest of District 4 printed over the heart. Finally, she pulls on the Academy issue jacket with a matching crest, its fabric matches the dark nylon pants.

The girl takes off on foot, her messenger bag pulled over one shoulder, the sloppy towel wrap undoing itself from her hair as she begins running down the road towards the centre of town.

This girl’s name is Eloise Thorne. She lives in one of the more privileged townships dotted along the coast of District 4. The only reason she dares describe it as ‘privileged’ is due to the important buildings residing there: The Victors’ Village, the Peacekeeper’s Centre, and the Capitol train station, to name just a few. This means all the best-off citizens of the fishing District live here, bringing money and business.

At the very centre of the town is a square. That’s where the Mayor lives, and the Justice Building, and the Communication Centre. And of course, where the Reaping takes place every year. Fanning out from there, quaint streets with open-air eateries and shops hum with life in the height of summer. The docks that hem the coast are always empty of boats in the day, as all of them are out at sea with sweet aestival winds in their sails. They haul in bountiful catches of halibut, bass and tuna. Everyone gets paid in summer.

The kids spend the long days on the beach, learning how to sail and fish in the sun. The houses are often repurposed boat sheds, painted pastel colours with vibrant doors. The roads joining them are coated in a layer of sand from high tide, and flowers and weeds use this to grow up through the splits in the tarmac and around the foundation of most of the coastal houses.

Eloise thinks it the most beautiful place to live. But life here isn’t absent of discomfort, the Capitol makes sure of that. The Peacekeepers that run the District have strict rules, curfew is strictly at 8 pm, and the fishermen hardly get paid for the fish they catch. Even here, in this part of the District, money is tight. Many families suffer from illness, starvation, or poverty, and the outskirts of town are worse. Whippings and executions are not uncommon either. Kids disappear from schools, working long hours to feed their families. And of course, there are the Games.

Eloise reaches into her bag as she runs, stuffing her towel in and extracting a jar of product. She finger-combs the sweet coconut-smelling ointment through her wet tresses before putting it back. She continues running, bare feet on cracked concrete, until she reaches the friendly paint-chipped face of the Academy’s front door. It is 6:10. She’s late.

Pushing inside, the hinges creak a greeting. As quietly as she can, Eloise pads through the concrete halls. The plaster walls are peeling awfully, and the whole Academy is only a storm and a half away from crumbling to the ground. The institution resides in the shell of an old abandoned school, as they can’t apply for funding to run the Academy from the Capitol. This is because it’s technically illegal to train children before the games, but the Capitol never actually does anything about the career Districts doing so.

Eloise makes her way up a couple of flights of stairs and weaves through hallways. She counts the wooden doors until she finds the right one. She hesitantly grasps the handle and opens it as quietly as possible.

Despite her efforts to not disturb the students inside, familiar faces all turn to look at her. Noah, Annie, Jasper, Mako, Vera… and standing in front of them is their head coach. Eloise feels a premature headache coming on.

“Thorne!” Coach Maris barks, her face already reddening. Eloise grimaces, stepping fully inside and skirting the wall to put her bag down on a bench and pull on her shoes.

“Sorry, Coach Maris,” Eloise mumbles, shuffling to join the semicircle the pupils have made around the dark-haired woman.

“How many times have I told you? If you're tardy, you're out!” She hisses. “If you don’t want to be here, don’t come!”

“I do want to be here, Missus! I was just late! It won’t happen again,” Eloise pleads. Coach Maris rolls her eyes.

“Don’t lie to me, Thorne. Your hair is sopping; you were in that damned ocean again.” Eloise winces, fingers absently tucking the damp strands behind her ears. Luckily, Coach Maris drops it, turning her attention to growling instructions to the 17-year-olds. They are supposed to work with weapons today, and Eloise feels elated. It feels like they are always doing some kind of stamina or flexibility exercises. Weaponry is a treat.

Eloise eagerly beelines for the sticks, grabbing a weighty staff. If she closes her eyes, she can almost imagine it's a metal trident. And that’s what she does, spending a couple hours training with it as if it were one. They couldn’t afford real tridents at the academy, but a stick was just as good for practice. Swiping and spinning, slashing and stabbing. Eloise is gracefully accurate with the weapon, using it as if it's an extension of her arm. This is really the reason Coach Maris hasn’t expelled her yet, because like it or not, Eloise Thorne is her star pupil.

Today she imagines she is in the arena of the second Quarter Quell, a lush pasture teeming with abundant, albeit poisonous, life. She pictures the fluffy clouds high in the sky, and then conjures up an image of a career tribute standing before her, threatening a broad sword. She plays out fighting him in her mind, every blow and every disarm until she’s beaten him dead and bloody. She recreates this now in the Academy, fighting an invisible enemy.

She does this again and again with different famous arenas, famous tributes until soon she tires of the stuffy Academy jacket, unzipping it and depositing it with her bag. Without the layer, Eloise’s skin chills in the large unheated concrete room. The athletic top is basically a glorified tank top with a high neck, and comes up quite high on Eloise’s stomach, her midriff now open to the cold morning air.

“You were late.” A voice states from behind her, and Eloise whirls around to see Annie standing in front of her, a knowing smile tugging at her lips.

“Astute observation, Cresta. I never would’ve realised.” Eloise smirks, rolling her eyes. Annie just laughs.

“You were at the Victors’ Village again.” Annie sing-songs, turning away with a playful grin and walks back towards the weapons.

“Hey!” Eloise protests, catching up with her and linking her arm with Annie’s so she can whisper in her ear as she walks. “I totally was not! I was just at the beach too long, s’all.”

Annie snorts, elbowing her ribs. “Yeah right! You’re always late when you're doing your delivery.”   

“Whatever!” Eloise grumbles, breaking away and grabbing her staff. She brandishes it at Annie. Annie laughs, grabbing an identical one. She is probably the best with the weapon after Eloise, and they both began sparring.

Within a minute Eloise had Annie on the floor, her staff pinned in a way that if it had three prongs, the red-haired girl would be skewered. “Whatever, Cresta.” Eloise taunts.

Annie laughs again, clasping her outstretched hand and hauls herself up. “Yeah yeah, okay. How ‘bout we spar again once I’m in my nice house in the Victors’ Village, hm? Then you can bring me fruit, too!” She needles. Eloise gives her a good-natured shove. She knew she had won.

Everyone knows that Annie Cresta would be a career tribute in next year’s games. She had been at the Academy since she was 12, and now that she was in the 17-year-old class, it would only be one more year until she would volunteer. Eloise had only been at the Academy since she was 13, almost 14. But she took training very seriously, exercising outside of class as well. But unlike Annie, Eloise wasn’t planning on going into the Games. Yes, sure, she admired the Victors. But she trained instead to be strong enough to survive in the oppressive society that was Panem.

Eloise had watched her mother become unable to support her and her daughter after her father had died, resorting to re-marrying to a boring man with two daughters to survive. She doesn’t want that to be her, and so, the only way is to be strong enough to work for her wages and be self-reliant.

All the students end up spending half an hour doing a mock sparring tournament, winners versus winners until Eloise comes out on top. But her victory is interrupted by Coach Maris, yelling, instructing the students to do an hour of cardio followed by another half hour of target practice. The last hour was to be spent doing yoga and discussing survival strategy. All the kids groan, breaking out into a rotation of jogging, biking and various other cardio workouts.

Eloise doesn’t talk to anyone until the final hour, focused fully on her exercises and the target. No one tries to chat with her, either. They’ve learnt by now that Eloise goes into a world of her own when she’s focused.

The five-hour lesson finishes at 12:00, and the class of 13-year-olds start filing in for their turn. Eloise runs back to her bag as soon as they are dismissed, quickly stripping her clothes, shoes and bikini top to don a strapless sundress with a subtle white-and-blue paisley print. While the others will be going home for the afternoon, Eloise has a shift at work. Her hair is dry now, and she lets the thick dark blonde curls fall around her shoulders from the bun she had put in an hour earlier.

Leaving the repurposed classroom, shooting a hasty ‘thank you’ at Coach Maris, Eloise runs down and out of the Academy and starts jogging through the streets towards the beachfront. It’s midday, and the summer sun is baking down on the concrete, the burning on the soles of Eloise’s now-bare feet is the real reason she’s running. Unlike Coach Maris, her employers will not mind if Eloise is late to her shift.

It takes about 5 minutes to reach the Blue Eye Grocer & Merchant. The small storefront is worn by time and the weather, wood blasted pale by seasalt from years of facing the ocean. The small corner store sells the essentials the locals need, fish-shaped loaves and glass bottles of milk. Cheese and butter and vegetables, but most peculiarly, beer.

The corner store used to just be a nameless merchant, but soon they began stocking a lot of grain and beer products from an exporting brewery called ‘Blue Eye’ in District 9. They stocked their products so much so that they began to consider themselves somewhat of an outlet for the company in District 4. They eventually committed to this, renaming themselves the Blue Eye Grocer & Merchant, and it had been this way since before Eloise could remember.

Eloise loves the Blue Eye, it might be one of her favourite places in District 4. It’s so quaint, the owners couldn’t be sweeter and it is full of regular, friendly customers. The windows are always open, making the breezy curtains and windchimes billow in the salty air. There is always the smell of fresh bread, because while they are in no way a bakery, they still bake their own bread for their shelves.

Also, Eloise loves that the shop shares a name with her favourite flower. Blue-Eyed Grass grows all over the coast of District 4, and it has been pillowing her small seaside house since she was young. The tiny flowerheads resemble that of a spiky forget-me-not, and Eloise has always loved their sweet little faces, keeping vases of their rubbery stems beside her bed. While other people saw synchronicity in angel numbers and butterflies, Eloise finds omens in seeing that flower.

Eloise pushes through the glass door, the bell announcing her appearance in cheerful song. A curly cascade of dark brown hair appears from behind the counter, chocolate eyes lighting up at the sight of her.

“Elly!” Jenny-Grace shrieks, running around the counter and wrapping her in a hug.

“Jelly!” Eloise snorts, hugging her back. “Anyone would believe you hadn’t seen me in months!”

Jenny-Grace pulls away, grinning. “It’s almost been 24 hours. How am I supposed to thrive in these conditions?” Jenny-Grace puts a hand to her forehead in mock despair. She too wore a sundress, a long yellow one with puff sleeves. Eloise laughs, and walks out into the back room.

“Any shipments?” She calls over her shoulder. Jenny-Grace shakes her head.

“Nah. The last one we got was the Blue Eye crates yesterday. You would know, you took a couple empty ones to carry your… delivery.” Eloise can hear the smile in her voice.

“Oh my gosh! Why is everyone on my ass about that today?” She groans, beginning to count stock. Jenny-Grace moves back to the till, giggling.

“What did you drop off this time?” She asks.

“Whatever was growing in the garden. Peaches. A punnet of cherries.” Eloise replies, remembering the perfectly ripe peaches she had carefully selected, gently nestling them in the beer crate. She shakes it off. “Mum had also made another batch of coconut shampoo. Threw in a jar of that.”

Jenny-Grace Reed is her best friend. They are the same age, and while they had been at school together since they were little they really became friends when Eloise got her job at the Blue Eye at 13. Jenny-Grace has already been working the till for a few years, financially supporting her grandmother and brother. She has dark skin, and her naturally black hair is bleached brunette from the District 4 sun.

Because Eloise transferred from regular school to the combat Academy soon after starting work at the Blue Eye, they make a point of hanging out after work and various school hours. This means that they are practically always seen together in public, and the town residents started calling them Jelly and Elly, never seeing one without the other. Jenny-Grace is the most supportive of Eloise’s obsessively busy training schedule, and they often spend their hang-outs with Jenny-Grace being her personal cheerleader while Eloise runs and climbs and skewers things with tridents.

“Ooh I love that stuff. Except I wouldn’t dream of wearing coconut things, that’s your scent. Does your mum have any mango stuff left?” Jenny-Grace asks. Eloise nods.

Her mother basically always has product. She doesn’t work, after Eloise’s father Hugo Thorne died she went into a mental slump. Even now, a decade later, she is too weak to work at the docks and too fragile to work in retail. So she spends her time at home crafting lotions and ointments, and sometimes jewellery too. Eloise often sells these things at the market for her. Eloise and Jenny-Grace make an effort to use her creations to show their support, and Eloise found herself only using coconut scented things while Jenny-Grace developed a fondness for mango. They also have bracelets she had made, a string of tiny metal Blue-Eyed Grass flowers for Eloise and a string of cowrie shells for Jenny-Grace.

“Worried about the reaping tomorrow?” Eloise asks hesitantly, finally voicing the thing that had been gnawing at her mind for the last fortnight. The 69th Hunger Games. But Jenny-Grace shakes her head.

“Why should I? I’ve worked since I was 10 so me and August don’t have to apply for tesserae. He’s only entered 3 times and me 5. The odds are in our favour.” She snorts at the ridiculous saying. Eloise feels herself relax at Jenny-Grace’s confidence. She too was only entered 5 times, but she was never concerned about herself being reaped, she could look after herself. She only wanted Jenny-Grace and her brother safe. And her two stepsisters as well.

They spend the rest of the afternoon working. It is easy stuff, really. Tending to customers, counting stock, cracking seasalt over loaves. Eloise always thought the elderly couple paid them far too much to just sit around and gossip, but she also knows the sympathy they held for the two girls. Jenny-Grace without her parents and Eloise without her father, they are probably paying them time and a half from pity alone.

Their shifts end at 6:00, so they close up the store and depart with a tight squeeze. Eloise heads back out of town, in the vague direction of the Academy. She lives approximately halfway between the centre of town and the slums. Jenny-Grace does too, just on the opposite side of town instead.

Curfew is strictly 8:00 pm, and anyone caught outside after hours by a Peacekeeper is up for a whipping or a couple nights in the stocks, especially women and children. That gives Eloise a couple of hours, and there is no doubt she is going down to the docks.

She swerves down an ally, and after a while she pops out at the seafront again, surrounded by the bustling metropolis of the docks. This part of town is full of life at this time, the boats coming in after a long day fishing. Sweaty, tired men walk off of the boats, lifting barrels and nets, eager to finally get home to eat and sleep. Eloise pulls on her Academy jacket over her skimpy sundress, because while she knows these kinds of men well, she doesn’t rule out their grabby hands.

She weaves between men hefting crates, barrels rolling and cranes swinging. Eloise is used to this chaotic, bustling crowd. She knows the knack of getting around where other people would be overwhelmed. It’s easy to get lost in the labyrinth of seafront pubs and merchants as well as the busy docks and jetties. But Eloise loves it, similarly to how she loves the quiet break of dawn in the morning. They are both moments that make her feel alive. Dodging and ducking, she eventually finds the mooring of the ship she wants.

The Wayfarer patiently sits docked while eight or so men clamber around her, hauling barrels of fish and fishing equipment out of her stomach. One of the men, a burly weathered man in his late 40s, spots her. His dark green eyes light up, a grin splitting his face around the grizzly black beard it sports.

“Eloise!” He practically bellows, placing down his barrel and closing the distance between them in only a couple of strides of his long legs. He scoops her up in a fishy hug.

“Magnus!” She laughs as he places her down, the other crewmates now noticing her and smiling. Eloise follows Magnus back to the barrel, trailing after him as he works unloading the day’s catch onto The Wayfarer’s designated minecart-like-thing. Every vessel has one, a largish metal buggy on a set of train tracks that runs down the waterfront, right down the pavement between the pubs and the docks. The fishermen use this to carry the catch to the holding tanks further up the coast each night.

“Wha’cha doin’ down ‘ere tonight sweetheart’’? Thought you was working at the Blue Eye today?” He asks, heaving the barrel up onto the cart as if it weighed less than a penny.

“I did. I had training in the morning, too.” She hops up onto the edge of the cart so she was level with him as he worked. “But curfew’s not ‘till 8, so I came down for some extra practise,” Eloise slid in a sly smile at her request, playfully batting her eyelashes.

Magnus laughs. “Of course, but don’t stay too late this time, I don’t wan’ no Peacekeepers givin’ you trouble again.” Eloise winces, absent mindedly rubbing her wrists where the shackles had held her all those moons ago.

“Don’t worry, I’ve learnt my lesson.” She assures ruefully.

“Nice skirt, Thorne.” Levi, one of the ship’s young deckhands grins as he deposited his armful in the cart, tugging the bottom of her dress. Eloise lets out an unladylike snort.

“It’s actually a dress. A pretty chilly one too.” She complains, wrapping her arms around herself in the cooling afternoon air. Levi wordlessly pulls off his canvas overcoat, tossing it to her. Grinning, Eloise pulls it over her bare legs.

The Wayfarer's crew work for another 45 minutes until all the fish are trundling down the tracks along with the other boat’s hauls. At this point in the evening, a good few of the docks’ fishermen leave, eagerly going home to their families. But many of them stay, the pubs and bars conveniently perched on the street finally getting their business for the day.

But Eloise never goes in them. She can’t bring herself to set foot in a pub, not knowing which one of them is the one her father had died in. He was young, drunk after a stressful day at sea. Feelings ran high, and a fight had turned into a crime scene. The Wayfarer’s crew knew this, and when Eloise was around they spent the evening outside sparring and drinking rum in the evening air instead.

Finally done, a few of them peter-out, but six of them stay, taking turns buying rounds of drinks and bringing them out to sit on empty crates and talk while Eloise and Magnus practise sparring. It’s a simple ritual, one that her mother would probably faint at. But it’s not always fight training, Eloise often comes down to find the boys still working late into the night fixing the boat or equipment. So she helps out, even when she isn’t getting paid for it.

She got employed at the docks the same time she began training at the Academy and working at the Blue Eye. The surge of determination at 13 had rewritten how her life ran, once idle and purposeless now busy and fulfilling. She doesn’t work at sea with the men, instead she wove nets, fish hooks and helped keep the machinery running smoothly, and then helped load and unload the The Wayfarer in the morning and evening. Her shifts were on the days she didn’t work at the Blue Eye, as the employers at the docks were surprisingly very understanding and accommodating to her schedule.

“Not many women workin’ here.” They had said, “Good to have fresh blood.”

And they were right. Most of the women worked in the bars and pubs as waitresses, something for lonely men to gawk at. Eloise hated it, but looking into the pub windows that seeped warm light into the dark evening, full of rowdy, drunk men, she was gladder than ever that she had found her crew. They never made her feel uncomfortable, if anything she felt safer around them. And of course, without Magnus how would she be so handy with a trident?

“You’ve gotta grip it harder when you strike wi’ it.” Magnus said, showing her how to hold the trident loosely when manoeuvring, then tightening her hold to plunge it into the imaginary chest of her offender.

“That’s it, Thorne!” Levi calls from atop his crate when Eloise manages to make Magnus stumble during one of their pretend bouts. Eloise grins up at the young man, accepting the drink he offers her.

Just then, a door to one of the taverns swings open with a resounding bang. A dishevelled, yet undeniably handsome man stumbles out into the crowded street, his steps unsteady. A bar manager follows, forcefully trying to guide the inebriated man away from his business. Eloise pauses, her attention caught by the commotion.

Through the gaps in the busy crowd, the man's unfocused sea-green eyes meet Eloise's. The blonde man's gaze flickers with a momentary spark of recognition. "It's the girl from the beach," he slurs, his garbled words hardly carrying over the din of the waterfront. Before Eloise can react, he is half-shoved, half-carried into the night by the frustrated bar manager, leaving behind a flustered Eloise.

“What’s Odair doing here?” Levi asks, eyes flickering between Eloise’s flushed face and the space the man had once occupied.

Eloise swallows. “I don’t know. Probably numbing himself down before mentoring those tributes tomorrow.” She says, trying to look nonchalant with a shrug. Levi shoots her a wicked grin.

Eager to hide her face, Eloise turns around to pick up her trident again, but Magnus was already stashing them back in the boat. “Hey! I wasn’t done kicking your ass yet!” She calls. Magnus shakes his head.

“Nah girl. You best be getting home now, them Peacekeepers get real tight the night before.” He grunts. Eloise sags.

“Alright then. I’ll see you later Mag.” Eloise sighs, reaching him for a hug.

“Keep yourself safe tomorrow, kiddo. Don’t go bein’ a hero.” He says, ruffling her curls.

Eloise nods. “I won’t.”

"Yeah, well, we'll see you tomorrow evening Thornsy. You've got a shift," Levi says, approaching Eloise with a grin. Eloise hugs him too, planting a kiss on his cheek. She knows that means ‘stay safe’.

“Yeah yeah. I will.” Eloise hugs a few more of her friends before jogging away with a wave. It’s getting uncomfortably close to curfew, but luckily Eloise doesn’t live too far away from here.

She reaches her house just as curfew ticks over, and walks up the stepping-stone pavement to her front door. Her house was one of the ones repurposed from a couple of old boat sheds, a tiny thing with windows that rattle in the wind. Her stepfather Remus Mariner constantly complains about their home, but Eloise loves her little cottage.

Her mother painted it white with a blue trim when they first moved in, in an effort to make the cut-and-shut building more cohesive. The paint is peeling now, and roof tiles dot the small lawn out front. The garden isn’t maintained, grown up in a jungle of wildflowers. 

Eloise pushes through the door and is welcomed by a sauna of fish-smelling steam. The kitchen, dining and living room were all one room, and her mother stood over a steaming pot of broth. Remus is sitting at the table reading a newspaper and puffing on a pipe, and her two stepsisters, one of them comfortably seated on the other's lap, sit in another dining room chair rolling the little one’s hair around strips of cloth.

“El!” 12-year-old Cova exclaims, jerking her head around to look at her.

“Hold still!” Marlowe growls through gritted teeth. “I’ll never get this done if you keep wriggling.”

Eloise sets her bag down and makes her way around to the girls.

“Here,” she soothes, gently taking Cova’s blonde locks and wrapping it tightly around the fabric before securing off with twine. “Are you doing your hair all pretty for the reaping tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Marlowe responds, the 15-year-old looking disgruntled. “I didn’t need your help though.”

Eloise just rolls her eyes and joins her mother at the small kitchen counter. “Anything I can do?” A hunk of fish and a handful of root vegetables sit stewing in a pot above the fire.

“It’s dark outside, Petal. Where have you been?” Her mother responds in that tremulous voice she always has. She sounds brittle, almost.

Eloise just starts slicing a loaf of bread for dipping, sneaking the loose, seaweedy crumbs into her mouth. “Jenny-Grace’s.” She replies simply.

Her mother visibly relaxed. “Oh, okay. Fetch some ale for your father, Petal.”

Eloise crinkles her nose at the request, but not wanting to upset her mother she settles for a quiet ‘he’s not my father’ under her breath. Stooping down, Eloise fishes out a bottle of ale, smiling softly at the familiar Blue Eye logo printed on the front. She spins around, leaning over the table to place the bottle down in front of the man her mother married.

Remus Mariner. Thirty-nine years old and fully grey, a well-maintained moustache on his upper lip. His eyes, deep and brown, have passed onto his two daughters, Marlowe and Cova. They are his one redeeming quality, as while she loathes the boring man, she loves her little sisters dearly, and she sees his love for them reflected there too. He isn’t a bad man, just painfully self-entitled and useless. Eloise believes Cressida can do better, but at least his wages ensured her mother a gentle life in the home.

Remus doesn’t thank her, just grunts. He also doesn’t thank Cressida when she places a bowl of steaming fish stew in front of him. What a knob!

They all eat in silently except for Cova’s constant stream of chatter interrupted here and there by Marlowe complaining about this, that or the other. 

“I heard that while Finnick and Mags are away at the games allllll the other Victors are going to teach special lessons at the Academy. Isn’t that so cool? Eloise, you have to talk to them you have to!-” Cova prattles on around a mouthful of stew.

“Honestly Cova do you ever stop talking? Some of us are more preoccupied about the reaping you know, it really is a great worry.” Marlowe huffs, interrupting little Cova’s spiel. Marlowe Mariner seems to think she is the rarest, most precious gem in Panem. All she has been fretting about for the last month is how she’s ‘entered 3 times!’ and how frightened she is of her practically guaranteed ‘impending doom!’. The girl has always been stuck up, seldom a nice word for her older stepsister or a helping hand. But Eloise never really minds, always having her own snippy retaliation that sends the black-haired girl running to Cressida wailing allegations of bullying.

Eloise smiles to herself, not about whatever argument the two stepsisters were having, but because she knew no one at this table knew her  hidden talent. Yes, they all knew she works two jobs and attends the combat Academy, receiving monthly letters of performance reports, but none of them have seen her with a trident in hand. If Marlowe, so set on the idea of going to the games, saw her take down a 110 kg man with an elegant twist of her arm, the poor girl might just pass out.

Eloise cleans up dinner while the girls and their father say goodnight and her mother goes to bed, the warm sudsy water sending her body to sleep. She fantasises how the day tomorrow will go, the tributes getting on that luxury train to be taken to their eternal glory or certain death. She pictures herself sitting in glimmering spotlights with Caesar Flickerman and three-thousand people in the audience, a beautiful gown on and a videotape of the 69th Hunger Games highlights running in the background broadcasting her victory.

She turns off all the lights, and quietly tip-toes into the girl’s shared room only to find Marlowe and Cova still awake, chatting. Eloise slithers off her sundress and changes into a simple ruffled nightgown, slipping into the bed on Cova’s right. They all used to have their own beds, but somewhere along the line the girls had pushed all three of the thin mattresses together so Cova could roll around and still have someone to cuddle with, and it has just stayed that way. Marlowe and Eloise on each side with Cova sandwiched in the middle.

“El. Who do you think is gonna be reaped tomorrow?” Cova whispers loudly. Eloise finger-combs the girl’s hair, pretending to ponder.

“Hm. I don’t know. Who do you think?” She murmurs back.

“I dunno either. I hope it’s Annie Cresta, then we’d have a whole three Victors in one decade.” Cova whispers, failing to keep her enthusiastic voice quiet. Eloise smiles to herself in the dark, thinking about how she had beaten Annie twice that day.

“You know it doesn’t work like that, right? They don’t just pick the best fighters” Marlowe hisses from across the bed, the eyeroll evident in her tone. “Often it’s actually the kindest hearts who face life's toughest challenges.” She laments, her voice completely serious.

Eloise wants to burst out laughing at Marlowe's sorrowful tone. That girl has been reading too many romances!

“Oh yes. We promise to grieve you when they take you away tomorrow, Marlowe.” Eloise remarks dryly, and earns a pillow to the face.

“I’m serious! What if I’m reaped?” Marlowe wails. Eloise sighs fondly at the foolish girl, pulling her two younger sisters in.

“Shhh.” Eloise soothes quietly, stroking her thick dark hair while she sniffles quietly. “You won’t be reaped. And if you do-which you won’t- one of the Academy kids will volunteer for you. Cova’s right, they’ll want to have three Victors in one decade.” Cova, wedged in between Eloise and Marlowe, snuggles up against Eloise until they all resemble a pile of toasty marshmallows in their matching nightgowns.

Eloise begins quietly humming songs to help the two girls fall asleep, and listens contentedly as their breathing synchronises, slowing as they drop off into slumber.

But Eloise struggles to fall asleep herself, no older sister to sing her lullabies or stroke her forehead to soothe the racing thoughts in her mind. After hours of nodding in and out of sleep, Eloise tires. She untangles herself from the pile of marshmallows, pressing a fleeting kiss to their foreheads, and slides back out of bed.

Pulling off her nightgown and changing into a pair of shorts and a tank top, Eloise sneaks silently out of the house on bare feet with her shoes in her hand. Pulling the shoes on outside, Eloise begins jogging. She aims to run a loop around town, minus the straggly outer suburbs. She calculates that it must be past midnight, the moon glistening past its peak, high in the sky. 

The rhythmic thrum of sneakers on concrete lull Eloise, clearing her mind and making her eyelids droop. She really should be more alert, if a Peacekeeper catches her outside after curfew they are well within their right to shoot her. But the curfew means the Capitol doesn't bother supplying electricity to the lampposts, so it’s easy to stay out of sight in the shadows, and she goes on these nighttime runs often. She knows what she’s doing.

Undeterred by the threat of capture hanging over her nighttime runs, Eloise persists in her clandestine runs, finding pleasure in succeeding to defy the oppressive laws the Capitol inforce. She wasn’t unaware of the punishment for being caught, no. She had endured that herself before. But marks on her back from the Peacekeeper’s cruelty spur her on, and she never stopped doing her own little act of rebellion ost nights since.

It takes Eloise an hour and a half at a steady run to loop the town, sneaking back into the house and sliding silently under the covers again. Eloise wasn’t surprised when passing the Victor’s Village to see soft light spilling from one of the houses. Eloise had a hunch after seeing Finnick Odair dishevelled and intoxicated that his mind was as plagued with nervous anticipation as Eloise was. She didn’t know why, his family and friend’s lives weren’t on the line like hers were.

Pushing thoughts of the confusing Victor from her mind, Eloise rolls over, her back pressing up against one of her sisters. Her run tired her out enough that even her racing thoughts can’t defeat the sleep that finally pulls her under.

© sunniskyies 2024, do not repost or translate my work

[c0smicnyu]

interstellar - a Peter Parker AU - ch. 1

also on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29082408/chapters/71388948

chapter word count: 2240 

story summary:

Peter was 6 when he was stolen from Earth and put into the Yon-Rogg's, by extension the Kree's, care. Peter was 12 when his entire genetic makeup was altered. Peter was 13 when he was fished from the waters, years having passed. Now on Earth and under Nick's care, he has to maneuver through life with his awesome abilities, alien invasions and geniuses wearing cool armor or shapeshifting into green balls of anger. Oh, and he's also trying to find the meaning to life but who isn't in this day and age?

chapter summary:

Peter’s life with the Kree and how he ended up on Earth.

(Hala, Kree Civilization)

Yon-Rogg was confused. There was a small, human creature in front of him. The kid from Earth was looking up at him with bright brown eyes, messy curls sitting on top of his really small head.

He was told to come to this room because this was where he was going to oversee the experiment involving Vers and her extraordinary abilities. With their proficiency in genetic engineering, they found a way to implant Vers’ abilities into other specimens. They told him they were going to create a soldier with the same abilities as Vers, through dissecting her DNA and isolating the one where the enhanced chromosomes were. Then they would tie it into the subject’s DNA, creating a new and enhanced specimen.

However, all trials have failed so far.

Then he was given a mission.

“Train him. When you think he’s ready, we will name him as one of the possible candidates in the TS: Vers experiment.”

With a new purpose, he would move. He would be damned if he didn’t do his job well and serve the Kree. If the Supreme Intelligence says train the kid, then he will take the kid under his wing and train him to be the best warrior the Kree has ever seen. “Hey, I’m Yon-Rogg. I’m one of the warriors here.” He said with a smile. “What’s your name?”

The kid blinked at him before answering. “I’m Peter. I think I was stolen from Earth. I don’t remember much, just my name.”

Yon-Rogg could work with that. An amnesiac is easy to mold, a kid with little and ephemeral memories at that. “Hm, well then. I’ll be taking care of you from now on. I’ll train you so you could protect yourself and by extension, the Kree civilization. Is that okay with you?”

Peter shrugged, brown curls bouncing. “I don’t mind. This place is really cool, by the way. Your eyes are cool too! And so are the blue people!”

Yon-Rogg just smiled. He wasn’t sure if he could get used to this amount of bright enthusiasm.

--

Yon-Rogg introduced Peter to Vers and they hit it off, much to his amusement. They both shared the overly emotional side of humans, which he was trying to get rid of. A soldier can’t perform their duty well with emotions mucking things up.

Another thing that Yon-Rogg realized throughout his time as Peter’s mentor was his above average intellect and superb locomotor skills. Even at age 8, sparring against people twice his size, he was able to find ways to knock them down.

He was agile and smart, able to use his supposed weaknesses as a strength against his opponents. He wielded his opponents abilities against them, turning their greatest strengths into the cause of their downfall.

So he got the kid tested.

He was right. The kid was a bonafide prodigy with an IQ of 170 at age 9.

Thinking about it objectively, genius was a double-edged sword.

With the amount of secrets the Kree keep, a genius in their midst could make or break their entire civilization.

Peter could help improve and revolutionize or he could break everything they worked for apart, tearing it down and burning it to the ground.

However, watching the young warrior interact with all the other soldiers and making a name for himself filled him with a sense of pride.

It was at that moment he realized he was getting attached to the child.

Spending time with him, bringing him books from his former planet and mentoring him closely was interfering with his mission.

So when he turned 12, after 6 years of training with him, Vers and his team, it was time that he drafted the kid into the roster of candidates.

“Peter. Come with me.” He called the kid from Vers’ room, the pair talking about random things the young teen knew about Earth.

He jumped up and walked towards Yon-Rogg with an easy grin. “What’s up?”

“It’s time.”

Peter’s eyes widened, a wide grin spreading on his lips. “Are you serious?! I’m getting deployed before Vers?!”

Yon-Rogg felt sad but the Kree came before anything else. 

“Yes. Follow me.”

Yon-Rogg led the kid to the experimentation room. Peter looked around the room with confusion. “This doesn’t--” He turned to see Yon-Rogg pointing a gun at him.

“Wha?”

“I’m sorry, Peter. But this is for the good of all Kree.”

Light, then darkness.

--

Vers was devastated with Peter’s death.

She considered him a younger brother and despite Yon-Rogg’s constant reminders of disregarding her feelings, she truly held love for him.

She used his death as a fuel for her training. She did her best so she could finally serve and bring justice to Peter by killing the Skrull once and for all.

Her hard work paid off and it was time.

She would kill those sons of bitches.

--

“The geneticists say that TS: Vers was a success. Please proceed to the disclosed location and provide confirmation.”

Coincidentally, the experiment’s success coincided with Vers’ first mission. Yon-Rogg mused on that fact as he walked through the metal walkways that lead to the room where Peter was held for the past month.

They finally succeeded after 15 failed attempts.

They were unsure what was so different about the kid, other than his terran descent. Maybe that was it. Since both Vers and Subject 16 were humans, their genetic makeups were closer to one another and made it easier for the enhanced chromosomes to tie in.

Now that he was looking at the kid, other than some feature similarities with Vers that got changed through the insertion of genes, there was no way of telling whether he truly got her superpowered abilities.

“Are you sure it worked?” He asked the head scientist, still eyeing the kid who was reading a book from C-53. It was about something called Calculus, which he was sure he brought from the planet a few years back.

“Yes it did. He has an amazing ability to carry 5 tons right now at age 6. His senses are also enhanced to the point where he can tell when something is hurtling towards him, much like a sixth sense.” The scientist said, pointing at his chart on the hologram. “He can also heal very quickly. It’s possible that his blood can be used to create cures for diseases, along with creating antibodies and poison antidotes. His abilities will increase as he grows and there’s no telling whether there’s a limit on it. The experiment was very successful.”

“Anything else?” Yon-Rogg asked as he read through the outstanding ratings the kid had on both his powered abilities and combat abilities.

Peter’s latent talent was truly remarkable and he couldn’t wait till they could finally use him to decimate the Skrulls.

“Am I allowed to talk to him?” Yon-Rogg asked.

“Are you sure that’s the best idea?” The scientist asked dryly. “The last thing he remembers before this room was you, his mentor, pointing a gun at him. He’s superpowered now. He could kill you with one blast.”

Yon-Rogg frowned. “Point taken. Give me the copies of his results and I will report to the Supreme.”

As the scientist passes Yon-Rogg the folders, the glass before them shook with a loud blast sound echoing in the room.

They looked at Peter, surprise flitting onto their faces.

He was now standing before the two-way mirror, staring directly at Yon-Rogg.

“I will find Vers and I will tell her just what a lying scumbag you are. You better sleep with one eye open now, Yon-Rogg.” Peter threatened, eyes dark as he glared at his former mentor.

The man didn’t reply and just left the room, feeling Peter’s burning gaze on him as he walked away.

--

Peter put his plan of escape into work a day after Yon-Rogg visited his humble cell.

He blasted the doorway to bits with a photon blast and immediately made his way to Vers’ chambers, however the room was empty.

He cursed, remembering what Yon-Rogg said in the hallway. Vers was already deployed.

He immediately switched course and made his way to the hangar. He listened in on the conversations, trying to catch wind of where Vers was.

“Did you hear? Vers was on C-53 and she found Mar-Vell’s lab! Yon-Rogg and his team are apprehending her.”

Peter froze. She was on C-53.

During his solitary time in the metal cube of torture, he was able to listen in on different conversations. He found out the true enemy in the Kree-Skrull War and how the Kree made it their life mission to destroy any means of refuge for the Skrull.

He found out that his true purpose was to become a weapon for the annihilation of the Skrull.

When he found out, he wanted to tell Vers immediately. However, he was too busy getting tested by the douchebags that experimented on him and prodded his body with needles.

He had to help her.

So he hijacked a pod and hacked into Yon-Rogg’s ship, stealing their coordinates from their GPS with a smirk. It was time he put these powers to use and reunite with Vers.

--

He arrived at the lab after a few, hearing the current fight happening within the huge hunk of metal.

He landed his pod and ran into the interior, looking for the source of the sound. He turned on the corner, spotting a bunch of Kree cornering a man, a woman and a cat?

“Hey! Get away from them!” Peter blasted the gun wielding Kree.

“Holy shit! There are two of you?!” The man holding a cat exclaimed, the woman beside him sporting a look of surprise.

“Who are you? And what do--” He remembered the photon blast. “Vers! You know her! Where is she?”

“You mean Carol? She’s--” The woman was cut off by a glowing blonde woman holding a lunchbox with a bunch of characters on it.

Peter stared at her, a grin spreading onto his lips. “VERS!”

Carol was tired and she had no time to deal with another Skrull impersonation of someone important to her. “Talos, this isn’t funny! We have no time for this! Take the--”

Peter took huge strides forward and wrapped Carol in a hug, arms around her midsection.

“Did Yon-Rogg seriously tell you I died? More like they injected your DNA into me.” Peter said before removing his arms from around her. He shot a photon blast at an incoming Kree. Carol looked at him with surprise, the grin on Peter’s lips just widening. “Now we’re twinning!”

“What the heck, kid!” Carol grinned, hugging him. Then she realized they really had no time, shoving the tesseract into his arms. “We’ll unpack that later. Take the tesseract and get going. You cover them, okay? Get to the QuadJet. Stay alive. We will talk later. I’ll buy you time.” Then she was gone.

Peter saluted, putting the cube before the cat which he realized was a Flerken. Its mouth opened, eating it whole. Peter smiled and patted its head. He looked at the man and woman.

“Hi, I’m Peter! I was with Vers… Carol? On Hala. We trained together. Then they faked my death before experimenting on me! Nice to meet you!” Peter said as he ran his hand down Goose’s spine.

“I’m Fury.” “Maria.”

They both gave him uncertain looks however his grin never faltered. “Okay! As per Carol’s request, I will protect you as we go to the QuadJet. Let’s go.”

They rounded the corner and Peter made sure they went through the ways where there weren’t any people. Then he heard a group of Skrulls in the intersecting hallway. He ran there, spotting the shapeshifters.

“Hey! Come on, let’s get onto the QuadJet! I’ll cover everyone!”

They eventually got to the hanger, running towards the jet at top speed. As they ran, Peter felt his hair rise. He shoved Goose into Fury’s arms and stopped running, eyeing the Kree.

“Get going! I’ll catch up!” He grunted as he fought against the Kree, distracting them from the currently boarding Skrulls and humans.

Once he was done with them, the jet was already up. He flew into the slowly closing doors, gasping as he laid on the cold metal floor.

“Hey, Peter! Are you Carol’s kid?” Maria asked as she flew the jet into the Earth’s atmosphere.

“No. We trained together for 7 years though. She was like a huge mentor figure to me, aside from the lying scum--” He was cut off by the jet suddenly lurching.

He sighed. There was just no resting, huh?

“Let me out, Maria! I’ll get her off your tail!” Peter instructed, arms already glowing brilliantly.

Maria was torn. The kid was the same age as hers and she wouldn’t be able to carry a kid’s death on her conscience. Against all her beliefs, she opened the doors and let Peter out. She just hopes the kid would be safe and comes back.

Peter flew out and onto Minn-Erva’s pod, blasting it with holes before proceeding to carry it off. He flew out of the Earth’s atmosphere and tossed the pod just as it exploded.

He was preoccupied, so he never saw it coming.

He never saw the large ship coming towards him.

He was flying, then falling. Then he was gone as he sunk into the ocean, swallowed by the icy waves as he lost consciousness.

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

12.28.20

So. 10 years.

Yeah, today is the 10 year anniversary of me making this blog. I’d previously been an Amy Pond roleplay blog, but I tired of that after a few weeks and deleted that and made this instead. It marked the beginning of the end for my DeviantART, which I deleted a few months later.

I can’t believe I’ve been on this site for 10 years, but also can’t imagine being anywhere else. This place is part of my routine now, and I can’t imagine life without this outlet. This bastion of Old Internet Anonymity. Sure, my drafts have been broken for 2 years, but that’s Tumblr.

Thank you to everyone who’s been with me over the years, even if we’ve fallen out of touch. Special thanks to @robincrowe, @empathetic-vibrations, and my gf @super-skitty who migrated with me from DeviantART back when I was still 10nant-Fangirl. Thanks to people like @doll-frakking-house who’ve been here almost as long. Thank you all.

If you want more content from me, I post music news/trivia as well as a song each day over on my music blog, the-music-dealer.

I also post frequently on Archive of Our Own under the name the-red-rabbit. I post...

Good Omens:

“This Was Originally Called ‘Temptation Waits’, But the Title Was Left in the Car”

Ineffable Wives AU focusing on the 6000 years.

“Child in a Seacave”

Some time after the narrowly averted apocalypse, Crowley receives a message from God. But will he agree to answer her? Written because I have trauma with my own parents, but I was keeping my trans readers in mind when I wrote this one.

“Crimson and Clover”

Aziraphale tries chat-up lines.

Good Omens Series:

As Heaven is Wide Series:

Part 1: As Heaven is Wide

Aziraphale and Crowley decide to take a post-apocalypse road trip to see the world, but it gets cut short when they come upon a teenage girl who (despite her protests) needs to be rescued. Things get more complicated when they find themselves once again in direct opposition of heaven, and they have to wonder if it's worth upending their shaky peace with heaven to keep her safe.

There are trigger warnings on this multi-chapter series, but I don't go into real graphic detail because I don't think the story needs that. As someone with trauma, I don't think it's productive to be incredibly graphic. I deal more in implications and off-screen for that type of material. (If you've read some of my other stuff, this one is positively tame compared to that.)

Part 2: Perfect

While Aziraphale finds himself quite comfortable with the trials of parenthood, Crowley finds that raising a teenager is more challenging than he'd expected.

Part 3: Going to Hell (In Progress and Updating today)

Sending their daughter to her first day at school was always going to be a challenge for Aziraphale and Crowley. After all, she still hasn't got a grip on her magic and the thought of being apart from her causes them some portion of anxiety. They just want her to enjoy her new life and fit in, but that's a little hard to do when a lost ghost appears to ask her for help.

Yeah, this one's definitely inspired by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, except instead of metaphors for growing up as a general thing, it's specifically metaphors for obstacles for healing from trauma.

Community:

“And a (Short) Movie”

The study group tries to define the word 'himbo'.

“Community: The Movie (One By One They All Just Fade Away)”

It's been 5 years since Abed Nadir left for Hollywood to pursue a career in film. When he receives a call in the dead of night from Greendale, Colorado, it becomes his responsibility to deliver the news to the rest of his old study group. He embarks on an epic journey to track down Troy Barnes on his boat.

Dean-dong, the Dean is dead.

But is he?

Jeff Winger isn't so sure. He enlists the help of his old "study buddy" Annie Edison to use her FBI skills to find out what really happened to Craig Pelton.

When the study group returns to Greendale, they find that the school has been bought out by Hot Topic. Britta, who liked Hot Topic back "before it sold out", immediately channels her grief into protesting it. But when she meets a fellow anarchist who has vowed to take down the chain from the inside, she's forced to contend with the fact that shouting opinions isn't the same as creating meaningful change.

I have one Hannibal/Willy Wonka fic that I wrote for fun: “Lollirot”

Willy Wonka is a humble man with a dream of making candy for all the children of the world. When he starts running out of ideas for new confections, he seeks help for his depression. His doctor, Hannibal Lecter, is a strangely charming man with unorthodox ideas for how a factory should be run. Before long, Will starts to experience paranoid delusions about his competitors and loses his grip on reality as he sinks deeper into self-imposed isolation with nobody but his doctor to guide him.

A prequel to the show Hannibal.

One Grinch fic: “How the Grinch Got Therapy”

Epilogue to How the Grinch Stole Christmas empathizing with the Grinch. Because as a person with religious trauma, especially centered around Christmas, I think it's about time that we stop shaming people for not having fun during Christmas. Some people won't celebrate and it's weird how we're all expected to assimilate.

And my magnum opus, the fic I’ve been working on off and on for 10 years even since my DeviantART days...

Doctor Who Fic Series:

Am I...Ginger?:

Season 1: Am I...Ginger?

The Doctor swore off companions after Journey's End, believing himself too dangerous to be around them. But while looking for members of the Trickster's Brigade, he stumbled upon a child of Torchwood that made him question all that.

Of course, there's another problem. He was warned that the Trickster had a weapon, one that could defeat him once and for all. He follows the clues to London, where he finds a nameless woman whose love of history does not include sharing her own. Could she be the weapon he was warned about? Is he just interested in her as a distraction from his own mortality? Can she be saved this time? Can any of them? Or are they doomed to life the way it was written?

(Set between the Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith and the Waters of Mars.)

(There are trigger warnings, but as always it only applies to one specific chapter and potential mentions. But this will deal with issues that people might find distasteful.)

Season 2: Am I...Ginger? The Mourning After (In Progress and Updating Today)

Picking up right from where season 1 left off.

"The Doctor's dead."

That's where this story left off. Despite many attempts to contact him, he's been nowhere to be found. But DOES that mean he's dead? The ragtag group of misfits he left behind keep having conflicting thoughts on the subject. Is he dead? Held hostage somewhere in need of rescue? Just avoiding them?

Just when they give up hope, the Doctor decides to crash his own funeral. Two funeral crashings in a row, that has to be a record for him. But can he still fit in the world he left behind, or has he changed too much? Is it even a good idea to try?

Set when Amy and Rory are on their honeymoon (between "A Christmas Carol" and "The Impossible Astronaut"). This is also just after "The Death of the Doctor" episode of the Sarah Jane Adventures. As usual, I'm playing fill-in-the-blanks with unexplored parts of canon.

...

10 years flew by. You guys have been there with me through some of the toughest parts of my life. I made this blog when I was still a 15 year old in an abusive home and it’s been with me ever since. So let’s hope the next 10 years will be better lmao.

[etjwrites]

Here it is, the official ⚡️THORUNN⚡️ Spotify playlist, all 85 mins of it!

I listened to these songs quite a bit while drafting, revising, and putting the finishing touches on my novel, and it's carefully curated (if listening from the desktop, or premium on the app) to give y'all the perfect ⚡️THORUNN⚡️ listening experience. A good bit of these songs could apply to either Laine or Kenton, (though some are specific to each – kudos to you if you can accurately guess which!) but some also center around other characters – both friend and foe – and around themes from the novel: family, loss, forgiveness, hope.

The playlist starts off rather melancholy (given what happens to Kenton's family in the beginning of the book), and bounces back and forth between anger and grief – with some encouragement slipped in between here and there – before leading to a defiant, hopeful ending. I've included some relevant lyrics from each song (most under a cut, since there are 22 songs on this playlist) and there's a mix of styles and genres from a wide variety of artists, though it does trend in the alt/rock direction. Music from the 70's all the way to recent years has made the list, and there's even a South African song gracing this collection!

⚡️THORUNN⚡️ was released May 20, 2020, everywhere books are sold, and I would be utterly delighted if y'all gave this playlist a listen while reading. It'll definitely enhance your experience, and give you a peek into my state of mind while writing.

1. Fix You – Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse

2. Umama – Sjava  

English Translation:

I miss my mom I am unable to go on I cannot continue I miss my mom

3. O-oh Child – The Five Stairsteps

Ooh child Things are gonna get easier Some day, yeah

4. Wolves – Down Like Silver

When I die let the wolves enjoy my bones When I die set me free When I die throw my ashes to the breeze When I die scatter me

5. Drifting – Adelitas Way

Maybe I'm drifting, maybe I'm lost Maybe I found every line I'd cross Some of us we haven't had a dream Drifting just like me

6. Gone Away –  Five Finger Death Punch

Maybe in another life I could find you there Pulled away before your time The world has grown cold Now that you've gone away

7. Nothing Makes Sense Anymore – Mike Shinoda

My inside's out, my left is right My upside's down, my black is white I hold my breath, and close my eyes And wait for dawn, but there's no light

8. Faint – Linkin Park

Time won't heal this damage anymore Don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored

9. Talking to the moon – Bruno Mars

At night when the stars Light up my room I sit by myself Talking to the moon Tryin' to get to you

10. Still Here – Digital Daggers

Musing through memories Losing my grip in the grey I'd die to be where you are I tried to be where you are Every night I dream you're still here When I awake, you'll disappear

11. Speak to Me – Amy Lee

Be still, my love I will return to you However far you feel from me You are not alone

12. Running From My Shadow – Mike Shinoda

I'm running from my shadow but it's still there chasing me down I'll never win the battle I should have known it by now Just when I think I've found the end, I'm going back around again, Running from my shadow but it's still there chasing me down

13. Somewhere I Belong – Linkin Park

I want to heal, I want to feel, What I thought was never real I want to let go of the pain I felt so long I want to find something I've wanted all along Somewhere I belong

14. Waiting for the End – Linkin Park

Waiting for the end to come Wishing I had strength to stand This is not what I had planned It's out of my control All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got

15. Legends Never Die – League of Legends

When everything's lost, they pick up their hearts and avenge defeat Before it all starts, they suffer through harm just to touch a dream

16. Paint it, Black – Ciara

I see a red door and I want it painted black No colors anymore, I want them to turn black I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

17. Robot Boy – Linkin Park

So you say you're not gonna fight 'Cause no one will fight for you Just hold, on the weight of the world Will give you the strength to go

18. Dear Agony – Breaking Ben

Dear agony Just let go of me Suffer slowly Is this the way it's got to be?

19. Soldier – Fleurie

Soldier keep on marchin' on Head down 'til the work is done

20. Gallows – Katie Garfield

Tell them something is coming There's blood in the water Give them a warning Let it all come crashing down

21. Here I am – Tommee Profitt

You can run but you can’t hide Out of the ashes I rise Here I am

22. Love Hurts – Incubus

Love hurts But sometimes it's a good hurt And it feels like I'm alive Love sings When it transcends the bad things

Can you tell I'm a Linkin Park fan?😉

Taglist:

@elaynab-writing @musicofglassandwords @sheabutterskyes @igotablankpage @writeanapocalae @alcego-writes @canallynwrite @fordewrites @valdifarniente @warofmywords

[gofancyninjaworld]

I trust your tastes. Can we get some manga recommendations from you?

You can totally get recommendations, but I wouldn’t trust my taste! :D  After all, I used to love Bleach (we do not speak its name now).   I don’t read much manga, but over the years, it does add up.   I’ve restricted myself to what comes to mind in 15 minutes! :)

Stuff I’ve read through and treasure

ALL OF ONE’S OTHER WORKS. Nuff said.

Battle Angel Alita -- written and drawn by Yukito Kishiro.  I will lay my cards on the table: I am a total sucker for good stories about cyborgs.  And I do mean good. It’s so rare that authors put their humanity and agency at the centre of the character.  No fear here!  Alita is most certainly the protagonist, and we grow up with her, from an amnesiac castaway on a junk heap, through her many changes of career and fate, celebrating her increasing independence, her ferocity, and her humanity.  It’s a very interesting world with a truly vast sweep. Also, it’s nice to see someone who actually understands the physics of fighting.  Just a word of warning, Kishiro cannot write an ending to save his life and so far both installments suffer from having a rushed ending following hard on a good opening and a lush middle.

Full Metal Alchemist -- written and drawn by Arakawa Hiromu   Seriously, if I need to explain this one, have you been hiding under a rock? :D  If you have to tell a story about magic, this is how to do it. If you have to tell a story about conspiracies and secrets, this is how to do it.  The Elric brothers and their quest for the philosopher’s stone is just one of the great stories.  It’s got a great anime too: whichever way you go you won’t be disappointed. She’s currently working on a very different story,  Silver Spoon, that’s set in an agricultural college.  Also superb, but hit with hiatuses as she’s having family situations that take her away from the drafting desk.

Monster  -- written and drawn by Naoki Urasawa.  I took a day off work to finish this one. No good deed goes unpunished, so when the brilliant neurosurgeon Kenzo Tenma chooses to save a young boy who’d been shot in the head over operating on a wealthy politician, only trouble comes his way.  Which is a very mild way of saying that the ocean is wet.  Before I read this series, I thought I hated horror stories.  No, I just hated ones that leaned on disgust or shock value to horrify. Jonathan, the boy he saves, is truly one of the most evil characters ever penned, and Tenma’s pursuit of him to both clear his name and stop the horrors that boy spreads in his wake still gives me chills.

Stuff I’m still reading -- or want to finish

A Trail of Blood -- Oshimi Shuuzu.  Seriously creepy story about a boy traumatised by seeing his mother push his cousin off a cliff.  His cousin doesn’t die, but is left severely brain-damaged...and slowly, we’re watching this mother-son dyad spiral into something strange.  If you start, you will have trouble tearing your eyes away.  Still ongoing.

Battle Angel Alita: Mars Chronicle.  I’m just waiting for this story to finish so I can binge it in one fell swoop.

City Hunter -- written and drawn by Tsukasa Hojo.  I really can’t believe I’ve not finished this series yet!  I guess it’s because it just doesn’t feel right to read this one online. It’s one for me to find shelf space and budget to own.

Chainsawman  -- written and drawn by Tatsuki Fujimoto. This is to manga what junk food is to fine dining.  It’s trash but damn enjoyable trash. Violent, cheerfully gory and full of malign supernatural creatures and the mostly disposable humans trying to do something about them, somehow it’s also incredibly enjoyable.

Dämons -- written by Osamu Tezuka, drawn by Hideyuki Yonehara. I’ve only been able to review the first three volumes of this work, but if you’re into dark and gritty revenge quests, this one is for you.  Sadly, it’s never officially been released in English and no scanslation groups are currently working on it.

Dr. Stone -- written and drawn by Boichi.  Pretty good -- it’s set in a world that became petrified for some reason not as of yet fully explained and of its protagonist’s quest to restore humanity using the power of science!  I’ve gone in quite a ways but I’m waiting for it to finish so I can binge.

Dungeon Meshi --  written and drawn by Kui Ryoko.  A really good adventure story. Briefly,  Lauis is desperate to save his sister, who has been devoured by a dragon, before she’s digested and he leads a motley band (is there any other sort?) in that quest. Features lots of great recipes.  Ongoing series.

Golgo 13 --  ‘Finishing’ this manga about the assassin supreme, Duke Togo, is an impossibility. There are just too many stories.  Because the volumes are largely self-contained, this is a story I dip in and out of as and when I encounter one.

Lone Wolf and Cub -- Ridiculously, I’m just one volume short of reading the whole series.  But have I done so?  No. Because then this wonderful, heart-breaking story of the quest of a dispossessed samurai to take vengeance on those who wronged him would be over.

The Way of the House Husband  --  Slice-of-life about the adventures of a yakuza turned house husband.  This story is a scream.  You don’t need to read chapters in any particular order, so there’s no reason to not check it out!

Vertical World  -- written and drawn by Kuu Tanaka.  A story I recently started, it makes the best use of the vertical scrolling online format to describe a surrealist, nearly two dimensional world consisting of a tower that literally goes on forever.

Stuff I wandered away from but can still heartily recommend

Beastars  -- written and drawn by Paru Itagaki. I totally loved the anime of the first season and went to check out the manga.  This is a good, solid story set in a world where nearly all animals are sentient, sapient, and acculturated with predators and prey living in some uneasy harmony. And a wolf falls in love with a rabbit.  I just don’t find it grabs me as much in extended format.

My Hero Academia  -- written and drawn by Kōhei Horikoshi.  Make no mistake, there’s a damn good reason this story is popular.  It’s really a well-realised shonen series featuring the journey  from hopeful recruits to being the upstanding heroes of the world.  Don’t go in expecting One-Punch Man. I find it good, but not compelling.

Origin -- written and drawn by Boichi.  As you can tell by now, I do love good sci fi. Origin has a great premise, revolving around a self-aware robot trying to find out what it means to live a good life and is trying to pass as a human being.  But life isn’t easy.  The one thing that kicks me out is that I really hate the way he draws the women in this story.  So much so I find myself breaking off for weeks at a time.   I’ve taken it as a signal that perhaps I should just let this one sci-fi lie.  Your mileage will vary and if it’s not an issue for you, the story is a peach!

Futari Ecchi -- written and drawn by Katsu Aki.  I bet you weren’t expecting me to recommend a hentai manga, were you?  I’m surprised it’s still ongoing, but that should tell you something about it.  This story is kind. It is humane. It is warm and often funny without being farcical.  For myself ecchi isn’t a genre I’ve found hugely interesting and it’s become less interesting with time, but if this floats your boat, do check it out.

[plague-of-insomnia]

15

Tysm for the ask!! Sorry I wasn’t able to reply yesterday.

[From Writblr Ask Game]

15. What’s the best writing advice you have come across? What’s the worst?

Good: Many years ago I read that Hemingway drafted by literally rewriting over and over again on yellow legal pads until he had things exactly how he wanted them.

Even though his style is completely different from mine, I decided to try it. Instead of revising within the existing document, I would open a brand new, blank one and rewrite (retype) each scene (referencing the old doc).

I find it to be the best way of doing major revisions (for example from a first to a second draft) for many reasons.

For one, it forces me to analyze every word and sentence so that I can trim the fat and/or clarify things much easier than I’d I was just reading it over.

It also gives me the ability to mark up my original draft with comments and notes as much as I want and then have a clean area to work so I don’t get lost in the mire.

Working this way also enables me to work more efficiently. I can revise faster and I can also help avoid my old habit of editing as I go.

I have found this to be the absolute best way to revise, especially if you’re feeling a bit stuck. I know a lot of people don’t want to do it bc it feels like a lot of extra work, but I really do recommend everyone try it at least once.

Bad: There’s a LOT of bad writing advice, especially here on tumblr, but I think the worst that I’ve encountered in my life is the old “write what you know” adage.

Now—this is intended as good advice. The problem is how it’s interpreted by those giving it.

For years, my creativity was stifled bc I was terrified to write outside my direct experience, bc I had been told over and over that you shouldn’t do that. I was afraid I would get things wrong and offend people, blah blah blah.

Anyway, I finally said “fuck it” and decided to write whatever I wanted.

What “write what you know” is really intended to mean is to use your own experiences and apply those to things that you “don’t know.”

For example, you can write about living on Mars or even New York if you’ve never been there if you do your research and apply your own experiences to these new ones. You know what it’s like to feel scared or lonely or confused or in love, and you can use those to write anything.

It’s how asexual people or virgins can write smut, how every writer who writes sci-fi or murder mysteries or fantasy does. But this can be true for realistic fiction too.

So ground yourself but don’t limit your creativity, either.

[lgbtqareads]

15 Books I Want To Read That are Releasing in the Next 6 Monthes

Every six monthes, I am excited to see the new LGBTQA+ YA books of the next monthes and while thos December, I was a little weirded out to not find them on B&N Teen previews, I was happy to see that Dahlia Adler posted her lists and opinions at lgbtqreads.com. So, of course I went through and narrowed the list from 72 to 34 to 15, only choosing books that I felt I really wanted to read and not just fall for all the amazing synopses and covers, which let's be honest, are all truly masterpieces.

But enough introduction. Let's get into my to be bought (and read) list of the first six monthes of 2020:

We Used to Be Friends by Amy Spalding - JANUARY 7TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Told in dual timelines—half of the chapters moving forward in time and half moving backward—We Used to Be Friends explores the most traumatic breakup of all: that of childhood besties. At the start of their senior year in high school, James (a girl with a boy’s name) and Kat are inseparable, but by graduation, they’re no longer friends. James prepares to head off to college as she reflects on the dissolution of her friendship with Kat while, in alternating chapters, Kat thinks about being newly in love with her first girlfriend and having a future that feels wide open. Over the course of senior year, Kat wants nothing more than James to continue to be her steady rock, as James worries that everything she believes about love and her future is a lie when her high-school sweetheart parents announce they’re getting a divorce. Funny, honest, and full of heart, We Used to Be Friends tells of the pains of growing up and growing apart.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Relationship breakups may be heavily covered in YA, but friendship breakup stories are still few and far between. Enter the story of James and Kat, two girls who were once beyond close and now watch their friendship unravel as college nears. Things are complicated for both girls: James’s mother has left her and her father for another guy, and she doesn’t know how to talk about it, not even to Kat or her still-too-present ex, Logan. Kat’s discovering that her feelings for her new friend Quinn aren’t strictly “friendly,” and in fact, she’s realizing she’s bisexual and falling head over heels for a girl. It’s a bittersweet story to be sure, and while it definitely has its fun scenes, close moments, painful familial interactions, and tingly romance (what Spalding book doesn’t??), you’ll spend much of the book wishing you could push the characters together and say “Just talk already”…but isn’t that exactly how life goes?

My Opinion: As someone who has been through too many friendship breakups to count, this read is going to be devastating. But I put this book on my list for one reason: the synopsis made it feel so much like life that I couldn't help but feel that the story would pull me into James and Kat's universe and tear my heart into pieces. I absolutely cannot wait to have my heartbroken.

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The Gravity of Us by Phil Stamper - FEBRUARY 4TH

Goodreads Synopsis: As a successful social media journalist with half a million followers, seventeen-year-old Cal is used to sharing his life online. But when his pilot father is selected for a highly publicized NASA mission to Mars, Cal and his family relocate from Brooklyn to Houston and are thrust into a media circus.

Amidst the chaos, Cal meets sensitive and mysterious Leon, another “Astrokid,” and finds himself falling head over heels—fast. As the frenzy around the mission grows, so does their connection. But when secrets about the program are uncovered, Cal must find a way to reveal the truth without hurting the people who have become most important to him.

Expertly capturing the thrill of first love and the self-doubt all teens feel, debut author Phil Stamper is a new talent to watch.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: This is a lovely and bighearted debut chock full of space nerdery, big dreams, new beginnings, and social media scandal. Cal’s life is completely uprooted when his dad shocks them all by being chosen for a space mission, something his family had never taken seriously as a lifelong dream. Worst of all, he’s forbidden from documenting life in the new compound, forcing him to leave his massive social media following behind. On the bright side, there’s Leon, son of another astronaut on the program and immediate thief of Cal’s heart. But when things go awry in the program and secrets are revealed, Cal will have to decide exactly what he’s willing to do to get the truth out there, and who he’s willing to lose.

My Opinion: Social Media? Media circus? Texas? NASA? First loves? And a choice that could implode Cal's life from the inside? The name Cal? Other than Texas, a state which I hate, all of this adds up to something good, hopefully so good that I can forget that Texas is involved at all. So, basically, it has to reach Red, White, and Royal Blue levels, which is the only book so far that has made me like Texas at all. But I trust that it will do well. Plus it was reviewed by 4 of authors on my queer bookshelf - Becky Albertalli, Adam Silvera, Shaun David Hutchinson, and Caleb Roehrig. Bonus points for not being a graphic novel like I feared it was.

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Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales -MARCH 3RD

Goodreads Synopsis: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda meets Clueless, inspired by Grease.

When Ollie meets his dream guy, Will, over summer break, he thinks he’s found his Happily Ever After. But once summer’s ended, Will stops texting him back, and Ollie finds himself one prince short of a fairytale ending. To complicate the fairytale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country—Will’s school—where Ollie finds that the sweet, affectionate and comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted—and, to be honest, a bit of a jerk.

Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship. But as Will starts ‘coincidentally’ popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again.

Right? Right.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Grease goes gay YA in this rom-com about two boys whose dreamy summer fling comes crashing into a harsh reality when our lead, Oliver, transfers to Will’s school thanks to a family crisis-driven move, only to find out Will isn’t Out and isn’t about to be. As Ollie finds his own ways to settle in, he can’t seem to shake Will’s presence. But whether there’s a future for them remains to be seen. This sophomore novel is warmly delightful and delightfully warm, with some tears on the side for the aforementioned family crisis, and some hard-earned queer solidarity is the icing on the cake. 

My Opinion: The last musical-ly queer book I read was What If It's Us? so Ollie and Will have a lot to live up to, but it gets points for getting an Instagram shoutout from Becky Albertalli herself. From the synopses, it sounds like a case of strangers to lovers to strangers to maybe friends to maybe something more and hopefully a happy ending, but what I look forward to the most is rewriting Summer Nights as I read this book.

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Super Adjacent by Crystal Cestari - MARCH 17TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Claire has always wanted to work with superheroes, from collecting Warrior Nation cards as a kid to drafting "What to Say to a Hero" speeches in her diary. Now that she's landed a coveted internship with the Chicago branch of Warrior Nation, Claire is ready to prove she belongs, super or not. But complicating plans is the newest WarNat hero, Girl Power (aka Joy), who happens to be egotistical and self-important ... and pretty adorable.

Bridgette, meanwhile, wants out of WarNat. After years of dating the famous Vaporizer (aka Matt), she's sick of playing second, or third, or five-hundredth fiddle to all the people-in-peril in the city of Chicago. Of course, once Bridgette meets Claire-who's clearly in need of a mentor and wingman-giving up WarNat becomes slightly more complicated. It becomes a lot more complicated when Joy, Matt, and the rest of the heroes go missing, leaving only Claire and Bridgette to save the day.

In this fresh and funny take on the world of supers, author Crystal Cestari spotlights what it's like to be the seemingly non-super half of a dynamic duo with banter-filled romance and bold rescues perfect for readers seeking a great escape.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Claire is a superhero fangirl, a card-carrying member of Warrior Nation. And when she finds an unexpected way (with some unexpected help) into winning an internship with the Chicago WarNat branch, it should be everything she’s ever dreamed of. But that unexpected help is proving very difficult to work with; it’s in the form of Girl Power (aka Joy), the newest hero and a pain in Claire’s butt. A very, very cute pain in Claire’s butt.  But distraction or no distraction, Claire’s determined to prove herself, especially when she and Bridgette, a WarNat, who’s tired of being “the girlfriend” to an even more famous hero, decides to mentor her and they end up having to be exactly the heroes Chicago needs. 

My Opinion: Two words. Super. Heroes.

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Music From Another World by Robin Talley - MARCH 31ST

Goodreads Synopsis: It’s summer 1977 and closeted lesbian Tammy Larson can’t be herself anywhere. Not at her strict Christian high school, not at her conservative Orange County church and certainly not at home, where her ultrareligious aunt relentlessly organizes antigay political campaigns. Tammy’s only outlet is writing secret letters in her diary to gay civil rights activist Harvey Milk…until she’s matched with a real-life pen pal who changes everything.

Sharon Hawkins bonds with Tammy over punk music and carefully shared secrets, and soon their letters become the one place she can be honest. The rest of her life in San Francisco is full of lies. The kind she tells for others—like helping her gay brother hide the truth from their mom—and the kind she tells herself. But as antigay fervor in America reaches a frightening new pitch, Sharon and Tammy must rely on their long-distance friendship to discover their deeply personal truths, what they’ll stand for…and who they’ll rise against.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Talley is one of queer YA’s most prolific genre jumpers, but she seems to be making herself beautifully at home in historical with this follow-up to 2018’s Pulp, again set amid a context of vital queer American history. This time around, it’s 1977, and Tammy Larson would love more than anything to come out of the closet as a lesbian, but that’s a major no-go where she lives. Her only outlet is to write “letters” to the activist Harvey Milk, at least until she’s matched with a pen pal to whom she can write letters for real. Sharon makes for a much better companion than Tammy’s diary, and she can sympathize, given her brother is gay and feeling all the same misery in the wake of Anita Bryant’s leading to a successful repeal of their protections. Together they’ll find their own brand of activism and learn to fight back against a world of hate. 

My Opinion: Ever since reading Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden, I have been craving more historical sapphic girls. With Pulp in my Kindle library and this in my future shopping cart + Casey McQuiston's time traveling book in 2021, I am bound to get a fix for that craving soon. Hopefully, it will also cure heartbreak.

Loveless by Alice Oseman - APRIL 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: The fourth novel from the phenomenally talented Alice Oseman – one of the most authentic and talked-about voices in contemporary YA.

Georgia feels loveless – in the romantic sense, anyway. She’s eighteen, never been in a relationship, or even had a crush on a single person in her whole life. She thinks she's an anomaly, people call her weird, and she feels a little broken. But she still adores romance – weddings, fan fiction, and happily ever afters. She knows she’ll find her person one day … right?

After a disastrous summer, Georgia is now at university, hundreds of miles from home. She is more determined than ever to find love – and her annoying roommate, Rooney, is a bit of a love expert, so perhaps she can help.

But maybe Georgia just doesn’t feel that way about guys. Or girls. Or anyone at all. Maybe that's okay. Maybe she can find happiness without falling in love. And maybe Rooney is a little more loveless than she first appears.

LOVELESS is a journey of identity, self-acceptance, and finding out how many different types of love there really are. And that no one is really loveless after all.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Oseman’s crossed the pond before with Radio Silence, so this American’s fingers are crossed she’ll do it again with her newest, about a girl named Georgia who’s struggling with the fact that she’s eighteen and has never had so much as a crush. She’s sick of people thinking she’s broken or weird, and it isn’t like she isn’t into romance; she’s just not into it for herself. When she gets to university, she thinks maybe she can “fix” things with her roommate’s help. But what if it turns out there’s nothing to fix, and Georgia’s great and perfectly capable of happiness just as she is?

My Opinion: Alice Oseman has written a-spec characters before, but it's possible that this seemingly aromantic character will be the one that I'll read first. Not to say Radio Silence wasn't amazing, I just wouldn't know. But I can't wait to find out when I read it after I read this one. And then maybe her other books too.

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Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan - APRIL 21ST

Goodreads Synopsis: Jubilee has it all together. She’s an elite cellist, and when she’s not working in her stepmom’s indie comic shop, she’s prepping for the biggest audition of her life. Ridley is barely holding it together. His parents own the biggest comic-store chain in the country, and Ridley can’t stop disappointing them–that is, when they’re even paying attention. They meet one fateful night at a comic convention prom, and the two can’t help falling for each other. Too bad their parents are at each other’s throats every chance they get, making a relationship between them nearly impossible . . . unless they manage to keep it a secret. Then again, the feud between their families may be the least of their problems. As Ridley’s anxiety spirals, Jubilee tries to help but finds her focus torn between her fast-approaching audition and their intensifying relationship. What if love can’t conquer all? What if each of them needs more than the other can give?

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Dugan debuted with one of my absolute favorite queer YA rom-coms (seriously, if you haven’t yet read Hot Dog Girl, do yourself a favor), so I’m thrilled to see her returning with another one, this one an m/f pairing where both halves of the couple are bi (or, more accurately, one is bi and one is still figuring it out). [Jubilee] is an elite cellist with a major audition coming up and a side job working at her stepmom’s indie comic shop.  Ridley works at his parents’ comic shop too, only theirs is a big chain, and no friend to the little guy. Which makes it a little difficult when the two meet at a comic-con prom and immediately hit it off, despite their family feud. I’ll take Romeo & Juliet with a much happier ending and heaps of bisexuality any day, wouldn’t you?

My Opinion: Romeo and Juliet retelling + comic convention prom + bisexuality + indie comic shops = a recipe for me to like a book.

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When You Get the Chance by Tom Ryan and Robin Stevenson-MAY 5TH

Goodreads Synopsis: [Edited] Cousins Mark [from the East coast of Canada] and Talia [from the West coast of Canada] go on a road trip to Pride in Toronto as they search for love and adventure and uncover family secrets along the way.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: One of the things I’m often asked to recommend is books that feature mlm and wlw solidarity, and I especially love giving answers that show it not just in characters but in authorship. Here, two Canadian rock stars of queer YA come together with a story about cousins named Mark and Talia who are reunited from their respective Canadian coasts after a death in the family and decide to take a road trip together to Toronto so Talia can see her non-binary partner and Mark can get to Pride. The two don’t have much in common, and they’ll have to let Mark’s little sister tag along, but they both know some kind of magic awaits them in TO, and they can’t wait to get there. 

My Opinion: There is too much to love about this book. Canada! WLW or WLNB/MLM solidarity! Canadian road trip! Road trips in general! Canadian Pride! PRIDE IN GENERAL! A nonbinary s/o! TORONTO, CANADA! And family secrets! Plus it gives off You Know Me Well vibes, and that's one of my favorites.

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The Extraordinaries by T.J. Klune - MAY 5TH

Goodreads Synopsis:

Some people are extraordinary. Some are just extra.

Nick Bell? Not extraordinary. But being the most popular fanfiction writer in the Extraordinaries fandom is a superpower, right?

After a chance encounter with Shadow Star, Nova City’s mightiest hero (and Nick’s biggest crush), Nick sets out to make himself extraordinary. And he’ll do it with or without the reluctant help of Seth Gray, Nick’s best friend (and maybe the love of his life).

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Klune’s doing double duty this year (or maybe even more? Damn, it’s hard to keep up), following up an adult contemporary fantasy with his first entry into YA, about a boy named Nick who happens to be the Extraordinaries fandom’s most popular fanfic writer, and who aims to be even more extraordinary when he meets the hero he’s been crushing on. (But maybe he’s in love with his best friend, Seth? It’s complicated. It’s always complicated.) 

My Opinion: What can I say? I'm a sucker for books about fanfic writers. And for best friends to lovers stories, so hopefully this is one, and not a fan-dates-hero story.

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The Summer of Impossibilities by Rachel Allen - MAY 12TH

Goodreads Synopsis: Skyler, Ellie, Scarlett and Amelia Grace are forced to spend the summer at the lake house where their moms became best friends.

One can’t wait. One would rather gnaw off her own arm than hang out with a bunch of strangers just so their moms can drink too much wine and sing Journey two o’clock in the morning. Two are sisters. Three are currently feuding with their mothers.

One almost sets her crush on fire with a flaming marshmallow. Two steal the boat for a midnight joyride that goes horribly, awkwardly wrong. All of them are hiding something.

One falls in love with a boy she thought she despised. Two fall in love with each other. None of them are the same at the end of the summer. 

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Allen’s been a personal favorite of mine since her subversive feminist debut, 17 First Kisses, and I’m thrilled to see her releasing her first queer YA, which basically looks like a gay Traveling Pants except not all the girls actually wanna be spending the summer together at the lake house where their moms became besties. Most of them can’t even stand their moms right now. All of them have secrets. And two of them…well, two of them are in love with each other, so one way or another it’s gonna be a hell of a summer.

My Opinion: Look, I'm going to be honest, I saw that it was co.pared to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and I immediately added it to my list. Plus, strangers to friends to lovers? I love.

Date Me, Bryson Keller! by Kevin van Whye - MAY 19TH

Goodreads Synopsis: What If It's Us meets To All the Boys I've Loved Before in this upbeat and heartfelt boy-meets-boy romance that feels like a modern twist on a '90s rom-com!

Everyone knows about the dare: Each week, Bryson Keller must date someone new--the first person to ask him out on Monday morning. Few think Bryson can do it. He may be the king of Fairvale Academy, but he's never really dated before.

Until a boy asks him out, and everything changes.

Kai Sheridan didn't expect Bryson to say yes. So when Bryson agrees to secretly go out with him, Kai is thrown for a loop. But as the days go by, he discovers there's more to Bryson beneath the surface, and dating him begins to feel less like an act and more like the real thing. Kai knows how the story of a gay boy liking someone straight ends. With his heart on the line, he's awkwardly trying to navigate senior year at school, at home, and in the closet, all while grappling with the fact that this "relationship" will last only five days. After all, Bryson Keller is popular, good-looking, and straight . . . right?

Kevin van Whye delivers an uplifting and poignant coming-out love story that will have readers rooting for these two teens to share their hearts with the world--and with each other.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: If this book looks like the cutest, fluffiest, most make-you-melt kind of romance, it’s because it is…at least in the little romantic bubble that ensued when  when Kai took advantage of a dare that requires Bryson Keller to agree to date the first person to ask him out every Monday morning for that week. But outside the bubble, the world is still wondering who Bryson Keller’s mystery girlfriend is, the one person not to shout from the rooftops that she’s got the guy. And Kai isn’t gonna be the one to tell them it isn’t a girl at all; his spontaneous request made Bryson the first and only person he’s ever come out to. But when both the answer and Kai himself are forcibly outed, he and the boy he’s come to fall for, the boy who’s only just realized he himself is gay, will have to band together and put their relationship through the ultimate test.

My Opinion: A lot of these books are comparing themselves to Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, and this one's even comparing itself to To All the Boys I've Loved Before, so it's basically setting me up for disappointment, but I will admit, I am judging this book by it's cover, and that smile is too cute to resist.

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I Kissed Alice by Anna Birch - MAY 26TH

Goodreads Synopsis: For fans of Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda and Fangirl, I Kissed Alice is a romantic comedy about enemies, lovers, and everything in between.

Rhodes and Iliana couldn't be more different, but that's not why they hate each other. Hyper-gifted artist Rhodes has always excelled at Alabama's Conservatory of the Arts despite a secret bout of creator's block, while transfer student Iliana tries to outshine everyone with her intense, competitive work ethic. Since only one of them can get the coveted Capstone scholarship, the competition between them is fierce.

They both escape the pressure on a fanfic site where they are unknowingly collaborating on a graphic novel. And despite being worst enemies in real life, their anonymous online identities I-Kissed-Alice and Curious-in-Cheshire are starting to like each other...a lot. When the truth comes out, will they destroy each other's future?

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Sign me the hell up for literally every enemies-to-lovers f/f rom-com, but especially this one, where the girls who hate each other at Alabama’s Conservatory for the Arts have no idea they’re falling for each other online as they collaborate on a graphic novel for a fanfic site under their online identities. That’s…everything I love in book? Yep, pretty much!

My Opinion: This one is on my list because Alice is basically my favorite sapphic girl name ever after my rewrite of the song, All the Girls Love Alice. Unfortunately, neither girl is named Alice, but it does seem to involve something about Alice in Wonderland. Maybe the graphic novel they're creating is a queer retelling of the classic story? Can't wait to find out.

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Six Angry Girls by Adrienne Kisner - JUNE 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: A story of mock trial, feminism, and the inherent power found in a pair of knitting needles.

Raina Petree is crushing her senior year, until her boyfriend dumps her, the drama club (basically) dumps her, the college of her dreams slips away, and her arch-nemesis triumphs.

Things aren’t much better for Millie Goodwin. Her father treats her like a servant, and the all-boy Mock Trial team votes her out, even after she spent the last three years helping to build its success.

But then, an advice columnist unexpectedly helps Raina find new purpose in a pair of knitting needles and a politically active local yarn store. This leads to an unlikely meeting in the girls’ bathroom, where Raina inspires Millie to start a rival team. The two join together and recruit four other angry girls to not only take on Mock Trial, but to smash the patriarchy in the process.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Kisner is three for three in putting gloriously queer YA on shelves, and I am in love with the idea of this newest, which takes the famous “Twelve Angry Men” and situates it in Mock Trial with an ace lead. Raina’s killing it at life, until suddenly she isn’t. Millie’s in a similar spot, having just been ousted from the all-male Mock Trial team. When the two pair up to start a rival girls’ team, it isn’t just their opponents they’re gunning for—it’s the whole motherfluffin’ patriarchy.

My Opinion:

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The State of Us by Shaun David Hutchinson - JUNE 2ND

Goodreads Synopsis: The State of Us is the story of Dean and Dre—the 16-year-old sons of the Republican and Democratic candidates for President of the United States—who fall in love on the sidelines of their parents' presidential campaigns.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis: Tis the year for political YAs, for obvious reasons, and this contemporary romance also does double duty of being a touching demisexual coming out story that happens to take place across the aisle. (The political aisle, that is.) When Dean, the son the of the Republican candidate, and Dre, son of the Democratic candidate, find themselves locked in close quarters, they’re surprised to find that they quite enjoy the company of someone else who knows what it’s like to be in the junior spotlight. Soon, romance sparks, which is a bit of problem considering the whole “opponents” thing, not to mention Dean still trying to figure out how to deal with and discuss the fact that he’s demisexual. But someone out there seems determined to make their problem much, much bigger, and they’ll have to figure out who wants their relationship outed, how they can make it work, and how they can reconcile a future.

My Opinion: While unfortunately this love story has no Prince from England or Wales, this book is definitely in the same genre as Red, White, and Royal Blue, though of course Dean and Dre will be more YA than our favorite international political couple. No matter what, I can tell I'm going to love the angst in this one.

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The Falling in Love Montage by Clara Smyth - JUNE 9TH

Goodreads Synopsis:

Saoirse doesn’t believe in love at first sight or happy endings. If they were real, her mother would still be able to remember her name and not in a care home with early onset dementia. A condition that Saoirse may one day turn out to have inherited.So she’s not looking for a relationship. She doesn’t see the point in igniting any romantic sparks if she’s bound to burn out.

But after a chance encounter at a house party, Saoirse is about to break her own rules. For a girl with one blue freckle, an irresistible sense of mischief, and a passion for rom-coms.

Unbothered by Saoirse’s rulebook, Ruby proposes a loophole: They don’t need true love to have one summer of fun, complete with every cliché, rom-com montage-worthy date they can dream up—and a binding agreement to end their romance come fall. It would be the perfect plan, if they weren’t forgetting one thing about the Falling in Love Montage: when it’s over, the characters actually fall in love… for real.

Dahlia Adler's Synopsis:

Love books that make you laugh, swoon, and cry? Then you are going to fall head over heels for Smyth’s debut, an Ireland-set romantic contemporary about a girl named Saiorse who’s losing her mother to early-onset dementia and is determined never to get involved with anyone as a result…until she meets Ruby, and all bets are off. The girls agree to a no-strings-attached summer of just the good parts of romance, the movie montage where the couple does all sorts of fun things as they fall in love. But when the end of the summer comes, will they be able to let go? 

My Opinion: The falling in love montage is my favorite part of love stories and I can't wait to read one set in Ireland! No strings attached? I don't think so Saiorse and Ruby. If they aren't together by the end of the book, I'll be tying the strings myself and writing fanfiction for days. I've only had one relationship that would qualify for a falling in love montage, most likely because I've only been in love once, and that's... ended, so I need something to fill my heart and this book just might be it.

-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×

Check out @lgbtqreads for more recommendations and check out the link at the top of the post for the rest of the list!

[hlmemoire]

The 💚H&L💙 Private House🏠

So, I've been recapping 2017 larry situation and I found it interesting that seemed like a lot was happening just at the beginning of the year. 

There're few things rather captivated and related to this fandom so I'll list them accordingly following the actual timeline:

Instagram boyfriends DenimJacket™ post, was posted on 1 January 2017

Instagram black&white post, that didn't follow the aesthetic of Louis' but match with Harry's was posted on 24 January 2017

The beard making an official comeback, the rumour started rather early in January and later confirmed around mid-February 2017 (at first it was all over the internet, then we got the blatantly-not-taken-by-her photo of Louis on 15 February 2017 for Valentines' day on her IG account)

Ankle pap, his triangle tattoo was papped outside the Sony building in London on 23 February 2017, and the photographer confirmed it was specially requested by Louis to take a photo of his ankle (I can't find the reference at the moment but I'm sure it's somewhere on Tumblr, feel free to message me if you have the link)

Just Hold On music video, with tons of larry elements in it was released on 8 Mar 2017, plus the IG description (with 💚💙in it but later on the hearts got deleted) and IG stories (a lot of larry references from fans: blue and green, size difference, and the larries' reaction, etc) of the director promoting the music video

It wasn't news that Harry & Louis living together, but it's after sorting out the timeline, I am now more than sure that they are living together. The IG b&w picture was a strong warning/statement for something bad was going to happen. And yes, the picture was taken by Harry, what convinced me the most wasn’t the black and white theme, but the fact (at least for me) that it was their private house where the picture was taken.

It all started by a picture I came across when I browsed through my files:

source: unknown (if anyone knows who should be credited to, please let me know)

The very left picture was posted on IG by Louis' sister Phoebe during Christmas time in 2015 (now deleted of course), the photo frame on the bottom left was clearly a picture of baby Harry, kudos to whoever was making the effort to pointed that out. And I don't think anyone has the confidence to say that it wasn't Harry. So I do see this as solid proof that back then Harry & Louis were indeed living together, and that was their private house.

So, the following part is where things are getting a touch weird/wild.

PSA: The analysis below was solely based on my personal viewpoint, if you already find it reaching, I’m sorry for wasting your time and please feel free to leave, and try not to be too harsh on me. Thank you!

＿＿＿＿＿＿

To make my point clear, I drafted two floorplans from two different angles based on two images on hand, if I’m a profession I’d just done it on SketchUp, sadly I’m not, so please bear with me.

So this one was based on Phoebe’s IG post in 2015. I tried to put things I observed in places in as a less messy way as possible.

And this one was based on Louis’ IG post in 2017. The outdoor environment has altered considered they made some changes to the yard over time, as more trees and plants were planted. We knew he chose to post it in black and white for a reason, that he’s trying to hide as many details as he can. The furniture, the decorations, the indoor surroundings, he made sure people only get to see his silhouette. But he’s not that subtle, innit?

To elaborate more, I highlighted some extra details in these two pictures to support my theory.

So, I tried my best to look at every detail I could find on these images to come to a conclusion－ It was the private house they shared in 2015, it was the private house they shared in 2017, and I believe it is the private house they share till today. 💚💙

Thank you for your time 👬

[bountyofbeads]

🚨 BREAKING NEWS ALERT 🚨 🚨

John Conyers Jr., long-serving congressman who co-founded Congressional Black Caucus, dies at 90

By John Otis | Published October 27 at 4:36 PM ET | Washington Post | Posted October 27, 2019 |

John Conyers Jr., who became the longest-serving African American in Congress, co-founded the Congressional Black Caucus and helped create a national holiday in the name of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. but whose career rapidly crumbled at 88 when he resigned amid sexual harassment allegations, died Oct. 27 at his home in Detroit. He was 90.

His spokeswoman Holly Baird confirmed the death. Additional details were not immediately available.

A liberal Democrat from what is now Detroit’s 13th Congressional District, Mr. Conyers was first elected in 1964, becoming one of five African Americans in the House. His overwhelmingly Democratic constituents reelected him 26 times over a period spanning 10 presidents, from Lyndon B. Johnson to Donald Trump.

As the longest-serving member at the time of his resignation, Mr. Conyers earned the title “dean of the House of Representatives,” and this job security allowed him to promote progressive, sometimes controversial causes that won him a national following.

He co-sponsored the Voting Rights Act of 1965, which prohibited discrimination at the ballot box. His fierce criticism of the Vietnam War led to clashes with Johnson and landed him on Richard M. Nixon’s “enemies list” of political opponents.

After the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, Mr. Conyers voted against the USA Patriot Act because he feared it would roll back civil liberties. He later suggested that President George W. Bush should be impeached, saying he misled the country ahead of the 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq.

Mr. Conyers’s twilight years were marred by allegations of sexual harassment. According to legal documents published by the online publication BuzzFeed in November 2017, several of his female staff members claimed that he had approached them to request sex and that he had engaged in unwanted touching and other impropriety.

One former staff member received a settlement of more than $27,000 from Mr. Conyers’s office after alleging in 2015 that he fired her for not accepting his sexual advances. The congressman denied any wrongdoing. But after the House Ethics Committee opened an investigation and numerous representatives called for him to step down in November 2017, Mr. Conyers step down from hs post as top Democrat on the House Judiciary Committee. The next month, he announced his resignation, after 52 years in office.

“My legacy can’t be compromised or diminished in any way by what we are going through now,” Mr. Conyers declared defiantly. “This too shall pass.”

Before the scandal, Mr. Conyers had been an inspiration to African Americans from Detroit to the Deep South and became, in effect, a member of Congress at large.

“In many districts around the country, black voters did not feel represented by their leaders so they would reach out to African American congressmen, like Conyers,” said Michael Fauntroy, who interned for Mr. Conyers in the early 1980s and is now an assistant professor of political science at Howard University.

Mr. Conyers, in turn, urged skeptical African Americans to get involved in politics. One of his early mottos was: “Register, vote, run for office. It’s power that counts.” To better harness that power and secure passage of legislation on poverty, racism, human rights, unfair tax policies and health care, Mr. Conyers and 12 other African American House members founded the Congressional Black Caucus in 1971.

Mr. Conyers strongly backed the Rev. Jesse Jackson’s 1984 campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination and was an early supporter of candidate Barack Obama, who was then a Democratic senator from Illinois. Yet Mr. Conyers also could be caustic of fellow Democrats to demonstrate that he was not blindly loyal to anyone.

In 1979, he described President Jimmy Carter as a “hopeless, demented, honest, well-intentioned nerd who will never get past his first administration.” Decades later, Mr. Conyers criticized Obama for making foreign policy too dependent on military muscle. His intention, Mr. Conyers said of Obama, was “to make him a better president.”

He presented himself as an emeritus member of the Washington establishment, and had participated in many high-profile political battles.

Mr. Conyers was the only member of the House Judiciary Committee to take part in impeachment proceedings against President Richard Nixon in 1974 for the Watergate bugging scandal and coverup, and against President Bill Clinton in 1998 for lying about his affair with White House intern Monica S. Lewinsky.

Mr. Conyers considered Nixon a criminal and helped draft articles of impeachment against the president before he resigned. However, he called the effort to impeach Clinton a Republican coup d’etat and “the most tragic event in my career.” He voted no when the House voted to impeach Clinton. Eight years later, Mr. Conyers became the first African American to chair the Judiciary Committee.

All along, Mr. Conyers was a master of the politics of symbolism. He hired civil rights activist Rosa Parks, who worked in his Detroit office for 20 years. He introduced numerous bills calling for reparations for the descendants of slaves, an issue that resonated among blacks but did not gain traction in Congress. More successful was his 15-year struggle to recognize King, the civil rights defender.

Four days after King was assassinated on April 4, 1968, and with the support of his widow, Coretta Scott King, Mr. Conyers proposed the first of many bills calling for a federal holiday in his honor.

The proposal met resistance from Republicans, notably Sen. Jesse Helms (N.C.), who accused King of Communist sympathies and complained that only one other holiday, Columbus Day, was named after a person.

Mr. Conyers kept pushing, millions of people signed petitions and entertainer Stevie Wonder pitched in with the hit single “Happy Birthday.” President Ronald Reagan in 1983 signed legislation setting aside the third Monday in January as Martin Luther King Jr. Day; the day was chosen because it was near King’s Jan. 15 birthday.

In a 2008 interview, Mr. Conyers called it “far and away the thing I am most proud of.”

But as the Detroit Free Press, his hometown paper, once described it, “For every brilliant move, there’s a dud.” Mr. Conyers was famous for missing votes on the House floor. Critics claimed that his effectiveness was dulled by growing arrogance and a refusal to compromise. He was prone to gaffes, prompting Time magazine political columnist Joe Klein to call him “foolishly incendiary.”

When Mr. Conyers ran for mayor of Detroit in 1989, challenging Democratic incumbent Coleman A. Young, he announced his bid by saying, “Move over, Big Daddy, I’m home.” Mr. Conyers finished third in the primary and then lost again in 1993.

Mr. Conyers could be a demanding boss. In addition to the allegations that he sexually harassed staff members, the House Ethics Committee investigated him for pressuring staff members to babysit for his children and to chauffeur him to private events in government vehicles.

After an investigation that lasted more than two years, the panel announced a deal in 2006 in which it dropped the inquiry in return for Mr. Conyers’s promise that he would not ask his staff members to do nonofficial work for him.

In 2009, Mr. Conyers’s wife, Monica Esters Conyers — a former campaign staff member 36 years his junior — was convicted of bribery while serving on the Detroit City Council and was sentenced to 37 months in prison.

John James Conyers Jr. was born in Detroit on May 16, 1929. He served in the Army Corps of Engineers during the Korean War. With the help of the G.I. Bill for veterans, he graduated from Detroit’s Wayne State University in 1957 and its law school in 1958.

His interest in public affairs was partly because of his father’s position as an international representative for the United Auto Workers and, for a time, Mr. Conyers worked as a labor lawyer. He also was a legislative assistant to Rep. John D. Dingell (D-Mich.), one of the few House members to serve even longer than Mr. Conyers.

In the early 1960s, local Democratic Party elders considered Mr. Conyers too young to pursue federal office. Despite their opposition, Mr. Conyers ran in the 1964 Democratic primary for what was then Detroit’s 1st Congressional District and won by a mere 45 votes. He then scored a landslide victory in the general election.

Mr. Conyers had two sons, John III and Carl. Complete information on survivors was not immediately available.

In office, Mr. Conyers went on to fend off challenges from candidates who hadn’t yet been born when he was first elected.

[maximumphilosopheranchor]

“This is the most one-sided biography of Mary Stuart, “the unluckiest ruler in British history”, for years. Even Lady Antonia Fraser handled some of the more controversial incidents in Mary’s life – the discussions over the fate of Lord Darnley at Craigmillar Castle in November 1566, or Mary’s “kidnapping” by the Earl of Bothwell at the bridge of Almond in April 1567 – with caution. Guy simply accepts Mary’s account as gospel. Lady Antonia’s Mary is essentially the story of a redeemed sinner. In 1988, Jenny Wormald mounted a challenge to the sympathetic approach, in Mary Queen of Scots: A study in failure. If little more than an extended essay, it was still based on Wormald’s own revisionist studies of the Scottish nobility, which replaced the cliché of an unruly and factionalized country with an emphasis on the constitutionalism of Scottish political behaviour. Mary was a failure not just because she was both indecisive and not very bright, but because she attempted to rule against the grain of Scottish politics.

Guy will have none of this. His Mary is a model ruler who faced a violent, self-seeking and greedy Scottish nobility (no revisionism here) and an organized clique of republican (Guy’s term) Presbyterian bigots led by John Knox and George Buchanan. The novelty of Guy’s approach lies in his attempt to write Mary’s life from the perspective of what can be called the “St Andrews school” - Roger Mason, Jane Dawson, Guy’s own student Stephen Alford, and most recently Pamela Ritchie – who for two decades have dominated the study of Anglo-Scots relations in the sixteenth century. Their central argument is that Scotland was the prey of two rival imperialisms, one French and Catholic, the other English and Protestant. Mary was herself the agency of the French scheme, serving to unite Scotland to France through her marriage to Francis II. At the same time she was the barrier to a Protestant union with England. Her strongest enemy was not Elizabeth I, but Elizabeth’s secretary Sir William Cecil, the principal supporter of a Protestant union. Having seen Mary as the main threat to his plans, Cecil (whom Guy calls Mary’s “nemesis”) assiduously sought to remove or destabilize her. Curiously, Guy’s Mary has no dynastic ambitions herself, she was simply the victim of the wider imperial rivalry, in which her French relations were as self-seeking as her Scottish enemies.

It comes as no surprise to find Guy arguing that Mary was innocent of the murder of her husband and that the famous Casket Letters were forgeries. The conspiracy behind Lord Darnley’s murder was masterminded by the future Regent, James Douglas, Earl of Morton (“the most sinister of the leading Lords”), but instigated by Cecil. There is nothing particularly new in accusing Morton, but there is in accusing Cecil. Unfortunately, on his own admission, Guy cannot prove the charge: “It is not, of course, that Cecil conspired to assassinate Darnley: he was far too clever for that. But, from the beginning, his policy towards Mary had relied on attempts to destabilize her rule by causing mayhem at critical moments”.

On the Casket Letters themselves, Guy follows Gordon Donaldson and Lady Antonia in arguing that the letters were not necessarily complete forgeries, but manipulations of otherwise innocent items. This case for forgery is made largely on textual grounds and for that reason it suffers from a certain subjectivity. At the same time the forgery claim has created a further issue, which has not (to date) been adequately addressed. If the letters and the documents associated with them are accepted as genuine, there is a coherent account of their discovery. As Buchanan observed, Bothwell saved them as an insurance policy in case Mary tried to repudiate him and make him the scapegoat for Darnley’s murder. They were brought to Morton’s attention between June 19 and 21, 1567; a considerable number of people were aware of their existence in June and July 1567; and they are mentioned in the Act of the Scottish Parliament justifying Mary’s “retention” in December 1567. Finally, copies were in circulation in England in the summer of 1568, before the originals were brought south in the autumn.

If, however, they were forged, when did the forging take place? It could only have been undertaken in concert with the drafting of a narrative of Mary’s misdeeds (which took its ultimate form in the Book of Articles) that the letters were to substantiate – a point Wormald has appreciated. Lady Antonia dated the forging to the summer of 1568, when Mary’s arrival in England made it necessarily to prepare a case against her. How then are the 1567 references to be explained? Even if Morton’s account of how the letters were found is also dismissed as a fabrication (despite the fact that he cites a number of witnesses, not all of whom were allies of his), the others remain. Guy does not tackle this issue directly, except by bringing up an apparent discrepancy between Morton’s account and the Act on Mary’s imprisonment. Morton’s account of how the letters were found during June 19-21 is contradicted by the Act (Guy states), which declared ‘“the cause and occasion of their taking the said Queen’s person upon the said 15th day of June’ was ‘by divers [of] her privy letters’ said to be wholly in her handwriting. These Lords [sic] confidently assured Parliament that Mary’s letters had been found before they had forced her to surrender…”. Unfortunately, what the act actually states is that the cause of the taking of the Queen’s person on June 15 and all the actions “touching the said Queene” since the death of Darnley “wes in the said Queenes awin default [my italics], as in sa far as be divers her privy letters… and be her ungodlie and dishonorabill proceding to ane pretendit mariage… it is maist certain sche was previe, airt and pairt… of the murther”. The letters were cited only as evidence of Mary’s “default”; it is not even implied that they had been found before June 15.

This example of selective quotation is not unique. One of the problems of “My Heart Is My Own” is Guy’s curiously casual handling of evidence. He also succumbs to the inherent fallacy of conspiracy theories. There is an “official account”, which is microscopically examined, every discrepancy noted, every omission considered suspicious. But when the conspiracy is finally unveiled, it is based on evidence even more flimsy than the official account. The conspiracy here is not Scottish, but English. At its heart was William Cecil, who masterminded Mary’s downfall from 1559 until her execution in 1587, as well as plotting the destruction of English Catholicism through a series of fabricated plots against Elizabeth – a conspiracy theory the Jesuit historian Francis Edwards has been arguing tirelessly since the 1960s. Guy quite rightly observes that the rivalry between Elizabeth and Mary has been greatly overplayed and that Elizabeth was more willing to reach a compromise with Mary than she has been given credit for. He is also justified in emphasizing that Cecil was more suspicious of Mary than Elizabeth. I pointed out, in 1987, that the distrust of Mary that Cecil and his brother-in-law Sir Nicholas Bacon shared was little different from Knox’s. But at the end of the day, Cecil was Elizabeth’s servant and it was her policies that were implemented. The one obvious exception was Mary’s execution, but the explosion that caused is conclusive proof that it was not business as usual. As his treatment of Lord Darnley’s death reveals, much of Guy’s Cecilian conspiracy is innuendo.

“My Heart Is My Own” is a tribute to the fascination that Mary Stuart continues to exert. This in itself is not surprising, for, as the Romantics fully appreciated, she was a Greek tragedy in kilts. The fascination may also explain why Mary’s historiography has been littered with conspiracy theories, the most important of which she started herself. Nevertheless, one would have expected a historian of John Guy’s calibre to have employed a little more discrimination in his treatment, not so much of Mary, but of her contemporaries, who are reduced to the level of caricatures. The result is not a radical new interpretation, but another in the long line of Marian apologias.”

Simon Adams reviewing “My Heart Is My Own”: The life of Mary Queen of Scots by John Guy. “Queens’ Moves.” TLS, no. 5267, Mar. 2004, p. 8. 

[highbuttonsports]

Nova Scotia: A Lacrosse Powerhouse?! A blogging attempt

What’s up everyone? Millsy here. I always knew the day would come when I would stop doubting myself and actually give this writing thing a try. I’ve always loved to do it.. and while I don’t usually share my writing with others, I have been complimented on the work I have shared. I have always found it to come naturally to me. I’ve told my wife in the past that I’m going to make a living off of writing… “that requires you to start writing something” was her last response. Touché.

So here I am, shooting my shot. No experience, not a clue at all. I’m just hoping I spell everything correctly and use some decent size words. But before I do dive into this and without sounding too much like a life coach. Please don’t doubt yourself! If you’re reading this and you want to pursue something, please pursue it. It’s what I’m doing right now! You can be your own worst enemy if you let yourself. Regret is an ugly thing and I hope that this helps someone else…So if you’re still reading this, thank you! I hope you enjoy it. Let’s give this a friggin whirl wha?

I reached out to Justin at The High Button about maybe doing some blogging for the brand, after seeing a post that they were looking for people to do that type of content. I am looking to cover sports locally, at the amateur level and professional leagues as well. I love all sports and I thought I could tie my passion for writing into that. Hopefully I can post more of me rambling on so I can give some MLB picks and NHL as well. I’m completely obsessed with golf but don’t like to bet it for the most part. Tiger for the next two majors though..cash it in! Big cat baby let’s go!!

I’ve known Justin for some time now through Lacrosse. We both played locally in the minor leagues here in the Halifax region, myself for Dartmouth and Justin with Halifax Northwest. We played against each other all the way through the Metro Minor Lacrosse League and eventually in the Junior A league here locally, the East Coast Junior Lacrosse League (ECJLL). Growing up, I always knew who Justin was.. this kid Belly has some sick mittens with a lacrosse stick let me tell ya. Absolute sniper.

I definitely have been fortunate to see lacrosse from all angles. From playing the game until 21, then transitioning into coaching at the Junior A level. Most recently though I have been spending the last several years refereeing the game at the Junior and Senior level, along with all minor lacrosse. This game has exploded in this province and I thought I could shed some light on that growth. I’ve seen a lot over the past 20+ years of being involved with this great game. Going to try string a couple paragraphs together here about that journey.

I was first shown lacrosse by my father Kevan Mills. Big Millsy. What a legend. He showed me the game at a young age and I was obsessed right away. However back then in 1997-98 it wasn’t really a sport that any kid was pursuing as their main sport. Even in early teen years, it was always just the summer sport to hockey. A lot of the guys just picked up their sticks and went to the rink. I however could never get enough of it. My dad would take me when he was refereeing and I would always have my stick for in between periods to throw the ball around. This was when we had a six team senior league in Nova Scotia and New Brunswick. I would go to the games for those ten minute intermissions so I could get a free floor to myself, I loved it.

That Senior league (MSMLL Maritime Senior Men’s Lacrosse League) was my first taste of high end lacrosse in the area. At single digit years old it was obviously the lacrosse I wanted to play when I got to be that age. What I failed to realize at that age is that the minor leagues were just not growing at the grass roots level. This makes it hard to maintain any sort of high caliber leagues. Eventually the MSMLL folded, and sometimes Junior A benches had no more than 10 runners on them. The bantam and midget leagues were scary. Dark times for high end lacrosse in Nova Scotia.

Guys like Steve Brown, Sean Harrison, Wayne Finck and Bruce Hamilton and many, many others deserve a lot of credit for keeping lacrosse on life support during those dark times. Those names were a huge part of my young lacrosse life and also a big part of why lacrosse has seen the growth it has here. If you would have told me when I was 15 or 16 that in 15 years Nova Scotia would have players playing for NCAA titles, top Canadian universities or in the top Junior leagues in Ontario, or that we would send teams to national competition and compete with Lacrosse juggernauts. Abso-fucking-lutley not! But here we are.

Year after year there are more players I am hearing about who are pursing lacrosse collegiately. Whether in Canada or in the United States. Either that or they exploring their options for better box lacrosse in Canada. Or both. This is ultimately putting Scotia on the map. In addition to the individual success, Team Nova Scotia is also always well represented at the national level. From Peewee all the way up to the Presidents cup (the Canadian national Senior B championship) along with sending multiple talented teams to the Founders cup in recent years (the Canadian national Junior B championship) having great success there, hosting the tournament in 2014.

With so many options available to these Nova Scotian players now; I’d like to highlight some of the local players who have taken their lacrosse skills on to get an education and play at the highest level they can.

Brian Huyghue:

Brian is product of the Halifax Hurricanes Lacrosse association. As an ECJLL alum, he plays his college Lacrosse as a senior attackman for the Divison II powerhouse Limestone College Saints in South Carolina. The Saints are 5 time DII champions most recently in 2017 in Brian’s sophomore season. In 2019 they came up short on a sixth title, losing to Merrimack in the national championship game. Brian tallied 28 goals and 24 assists in 21 contests this season at Limestone. Brian has an phenomenal outside shot, great stick skills and is very quick and deceptive in the way he beats defenders.

Jordan McKenna

Jordan played all his minor lacrosse for the Dartmouth Bandits. He was granted exceptional status to play in the ECJLL in 2016 as a midget putting up 34 points in 13 games. His true rookie season in 2017, Jordan spilt time between the Junior B and Junior A Northmen in Orangeville, Ontario. 2018 saw McKenna return to the ECJLL for 6 games notching a very impressive 40 points. The Junior A Northmen are lucky to have Jordan for the 2019 box lacrosse season. Jordan has finished his high school lacrosse this season at Westminister in Connecticut. He has committed to Bryant university; a D1 program in Rhode Island for the 2020-21 season. The Halifax Mooseheads also drafted him in the 2016 QMJHL draft. His lacrosse IQ and his vision on the floor make Jordan very lethal offensively.

Zac Carrigan

Zac played his minor lacrosse for the Sackville Wolves and is currently a member of the Sackville Sportswheels Junior A Wolves of the ECJLL. During the school year Zac plays his college ball as a midfielder for the Mars Hill University Lions. A Divison II program in North Carolina. During Zac’s sophomore season this year at Mars Hill, he was named an All South Atlantic Conference honorable mention. Carrigan tucked a team high 34 goals, adding 14 assists. His 48 points was second on his team in scoring. Zac is an excellent outside shooter and his offensive upside makes him a threat to score or create a scoring chance every shift.

This a just a small sample size of the lacrosse talent in this province. It’s insane. I referee all three of those players and the difference in their games since going away is amazing. American coaches have embraced the fact that Canadian players have a certain skill set that can be very helpful to the outdoor game. The three players above are prime examples of that.

I am not even mentioning the many players who currently; or have played at the university/college level outside of Atlantic Canada throughout North America. We also have some local players trying out…and making some of the best box lacrosse teams in Ontario at the Junior level. It’s been pretty cool to see our talent stack up with the rest of Canada, and now with American schools as well.

It’s been a hell of a ride watching this sport grow to where it is now. I’ve seen it go from not even knowing if we would have teams to fill certain divisions. Eventually it moved into having some select leagues and tryouts. More kids started playing the game, opportunities were capitalized on and so much hard work went into it. Currently our Junior A league now has six teams with one in New Brunswick, one in Truro and 4 locally in HRM. We have a four team Senior league again, the NSSLL. Which by the way is no joke. The word senior is misleading eh, these boys can BALL. I see you boys. Some of the best lacrosse you can enjoy for free. I will post more about this league but Tuesday’s and Thursday’s at the RBC centre in Dartmouth is serious lacrosse. The best players around over 21.

Some of the senior guys around here, and the odd junior player have even competed internationally in Prague, Czech Republic. The Nova Scotia Privateers are a travel team, that have been attending the Aleš Hřebeský Memorial Lacrosse tournament in Prague for over 10 years. This team has enjoyed great success placing second in 2018. Nova Scotia native Mitch Hannigan was named top goalie of the tournament in 2018 along with Matt Dunbar being named a defensive all star. Taking home a defensive all star in 2019 was former Halifax Northwest Rebel Jasper Goodwin. Local guy Luke Parker, and Coach Rod Humphreys deserve a little butt tap as well. Parker is a staple on the Privateers roster and a dominant senior player. Check out episode 197 of The High Button for his story. Humphreys deserves tremendous credit for his work with senior lacrosse, and making the Privateers competitive every year. So yeah, we’re competing globally now. I think that’s decent?

Also a huge shout out to the female lacrosse in Nova Scotia which is kicking butt at all levels! Way to go ladies. The peewee, bantam, midget and junior girls divisions have gotten extremely competitive. Female players from the area are now also exploring their options to play and continue their education. We are also competing nationally with Team Nova Scotia at most age groups for female. My oldest daughter is excited to get started! So awesome to see.

As if the growth of the game in this province wasn’t awesome enough, come December this whole damn city will be playing catch on their lunch breaks. December 2019 marks the inaugural season of the Halifax Thunderbirds. The National flipping Lacrosse League is here boys and girls! It was confirmed in February that Halifax is set to receive the NLL franchise which will be relocating from Rochester, New York. The Knighthawks have been very successful in Rochester winning three consecutive Champions Cups (2012, 13 and 14). The Thunderbirds are set to begin play in December at the Scotiabank Centre, where they will have 9 home games. With 9 games played on the road as well. This is monumental for the game of lacrosse in Nova Scotia. With all the success the province has had; I can only imagine what adding a professional team in our backyard will do for new registration. The Thunderbirds are pouring gas on an already fired up lacrosse community. I encourage all lacrosse fans new and old to get tickets and check it out. The atmosphere is amazing, they play music the whole game and of course serve booze. I promise you will love lacrosse when you watch it at this level and in this environment. Fun for the whole family!

So I guess if you asked me to describe the evolution of lacrosse over the last 20 years in Nova Scotia: I could have just told you it’s been incredible. But then I wouldn’t have gotten to write all this and embarrass myself. The state of the game is in a good place here, and I’m in a good place with how I’m involved with it. Officiating has given me a better outlook on the game. It puts a little money in my pocket but more importantly it keeps involved with a game that I love and has given me so much. Most of the coaches in the ECJLL I have either played with or against. Most of the players in the NSSLL I have either played with or against, and I love seeing the new faces come into Junior every year. I think most of the guys will tell ya that when I’m reffing the communications lines are open. Im going to always let you play lacrosse and deal with everyone the same. So yeah, I love how I’m involved, hope the boys love seeing me!

So there ya have it. My first attempt at any sort of writing for an audience. Hopefully that audience isn’t all related to me. There’s way more where that came from though. I’m hoping to turn this into maybe a weekly thing; to give you guys all that’s going on in local and professional sports. Feedback is much appreciated!

For now I’m signing off, thanks for scrolling.

Millsy

Jun 7th, 2019