#ft. rawdog

[bbqw1]

25.01.25

[emberglowfox]

hanging out

[melliemell]

HEEy !! It’s the nonnie with the glasses back at it once again >:)

I’ve been thinking, annd how do you think the bsd cast (as always i would love if u added both the idiots aka dazai and ranpo) would go abt asking their S/O to move in with them? Ofc add any chara u like!!

ur awesome love u Pookie🫶☺️, — NONNIE WHO FOUND THEIR GLASSES !!!! (YIPPIE FOR THAT!)

hiii babess, hope you're doing well!!

you never fail to deliver with the cool idea, do you 👀👀

BSD ft. How they'd go about moving in with their S/O

(Dazai, Fyodor, Ranpo)

Dazai

Dazai’s not an easy man to live with and he’s perfectly aware of that. 

Would play it off as a casual remark on a random Wednesday, a teasing smile plastered in place yet his gaze won’t leave yours as he observed your reaction while acting carefree.

“I’ll get to wake up to your angelic face every morning. What man wouldn’t want that?” he’d say, draping an arm around your shoulders as you’d roll your eyes at his antics. You’d be all too used to him by now. 

But the thought would swirl in Dazai’smind for days. Feeling your secure embrace was too sweet a treat, and your chest glued to his back had a calming effect he was steadily becoming addicted to. If Dazai had the opportunity to have your warm breath tickling his nape, mind not even fully awake to complain about it as he floated in that blissful oblivion of early mornings–he was getting it.

He’d be spacing out days on end, coming up with as many scenarios of domestic life that he’d end up completely engrossed by the idea. It would be too hilarious to miss out on the play-dress of adult life. Even cleaning chores would seem exiting to him, knowing fully that vacuuming the house could just as easily turn into rawdogging it on the kitchen floor–clean or not. 

Dazai’d have you all to himself. 

Don’t expect you’d be moving in with him. He’s occupying your place the moment he gets the green flag. He’s so used to not doing anything all day that finally having a constant source of entertainment might do him some good. Not you though. Probably. But at least you’d get your boyfriend trailing after you, puppy eyes abused to the brim as he pleads for attention at every possible opportunity. 

Good luck. 

Fyodor

That’s the thing… Fyodor’s so out of the loop of normal life-living that he’d probably not have a home. Places he stays at? Yes, sure. As lavish as he wants or acceptably modest and enough to meet his needs? Very likely. But a home–a specific location he comes back to time and time again, seeking comfort in its familiarity? Unlikely. 

It would start out as him simply needing you to do little tasks for him. Fyodor’d keep an eye out on you, making sure you arrive to the specific city before him as you checked around the territory. Never staying in the same place as him but still keeping you close by. Just in case.

He’d need to establish a secure enough dependance from your side before he lets himself explore any romantic paths with you. There’s a reassuring quality to it, and Fyodor’s not the type to rush into any idea unless he’s completely prepared for the desired outcome. But once you’re together…

Get prepared for an ungodly amount of surprise visits from this man. There won’t be so much as you moving in together–the topic most likely not even discussed yet–but you gradually getting accustomed to the sight of him already at your place, waiting patiently as he sipped his cup of tea by the kitchen table. 

He’d be really good at nestling perfectly into your routine, knowing exactly where you were at all times. Not living together exactly but… existing together, maybe? It won’t be so much about the physical part, simply being in the same space together bringing a smile to his face. He’d stop arranging for his own place eventually, opting to stay with you every time you had to move to a different location.

It was unusual, but Fyodor wasn’t a usual man after all.

Ranpo

Suspiciously too eager for the moving-in together. Until you realise his plan all along–he won’t need to take cabs every time he goes home; you’ll take him home. Now isn’t that just perfect? You know where you live, and you live together. 

Ranpo never really understood the excitement over domestic life. It was definitely a win for all the attention he was going to get constantly, but it’s not like anything too major has happened. You just have to share laundry now, no biggie. 

Until the day he gets back from work, tired to the bones from dealing with people too stupid to let him do his job quickly, and alone. It’s in those late hours that he stumbles though the darkness to your home and…

There you are. Snuggled up in bed and waiting for him with a tired smile on your face. Ranpo’s chest will feel light, the weight lifting instantly as he lays beside you, cheek smashed into your neck as your scent engulfed him. He’s out cold within minutes; just having this secure presence around him would set him at ease instantly.

Ranpo really thought nothing much would change between you after moving together. And he was right, the good old dynamic of you both was still there, but… there was something else. Something new lurking in the early mornings sometimes, or the hum of your voice as you sang under your breath as you washed the dishes. 

Little things. 

Things he was exposed to constantly now that managed to make him stop in his tracks and just–exist in that moment. With you.

Ranpo’s never felt more content after stealing you away like this.

[lovegasmic]

⋆ CUCKOLDING ft. Welt and Gallagher

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 cw. f!reader, pet names ( angel, princess ) manhandling, unprotected sx.

NAVI ⁞ EVENT MASTERLIST

how did this even happen? Welt was not sure.

a bit too many drinks and what seemed more like a threesome invitation, quickly turned into his cute, sweet, angel girlfriend getting rawdogged by the buff bartender, while all your boyfriend could do was watch with eyeglasses slipping down the sweaty bridge of his nose, cheeks blushed and the fat length of his cock heavy on his palm.

“feels good, princess?” Gallagher’s gruff voice was heard through the room, barely a whisper compared to the slick sound of your cunt sliding up and down his cock, his tone slightly mocking due to the way you seem unable to form a coherent though, only babbling a slurred version of the bartender’s name. he doesn’t need you to speak though, the way your slick walls convulse around his tip is almost enough response.

pushing the main situation aside, Gallagher remained as polite as ever, “hey, Mr. Yang, is your girl this easy to get fucked stupid?”

fuck him, is what Welt won’t say out loud, a bit too dizzy, a bit too awestruck by the chance to admire from another angle how beautiful you looked getting used, getting filled with another cock that wasn’t your boyfriend’s, “yeah...” is what he says, sharp and straight to the point, perhaps a bit stupid as well, similar to your position as his thumb slides across his drooling cockhead.

“hm” Gallagher hums in amusement, sliding his hands from your hips to your soft ass and spreading you wider, and the sound of a sharp inhale is still blurred unsure if it came from you or your boyfriend, “pretty little thing, going so silly on a stranger’s cock” is what he says next, barely giving you a second to squeak in protest before he’s slamming into you from below, so hard and fast his balls resonate against your soft skin, guiding the tip of his cock straight into your g-spot until you’re creaming and gushing.

and Welt feels like he’s about to pass out, or cum embarrassingly soon from the mere sight of your trembling, cute body doing its best effort at taking such massive cock, mind swimming in your moans, in your gasps and screams of desperate pleasure, have you ever sounded as gorgeous before? you most definitely did, but this new point of view was wonderful, inspiring even, luring Welt into an intense orgasm that syncs with your cumming all over the bartender’s lap and drops splattering on the floor.

[aomiiine]

001 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚ LOVE AND DEEPSPACE

.𖥔 ݁ ˖⌗﹒ 𝐙𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄 .ᐟ

GUIDANCE : zayne attempts to punish you for having too much fun w sylus ( nsfw oneshot )

BIRTHDAY INTIMACY : zayne seems more enchanted by you than the strawberry cake you allegedly made ( nsfw oneshot )

PINK RIBBON : you insist on tying a pink ribbon around his bicep ( fluff headcanon )

.𖥔 ݁ ˖⌗﹒ 𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐒 .ᐟ

AUCTIONER : your pet dragon shows you just how infatuated he truly is with you ( highly suggestive drabble )

HE LOVES HIS OFFICER! : praedator sylus is face with an interrogation far wilder than he’s faced with you as his enforcer—along with a different type of torture ( heavy nsfw oneshot )

.𖥔 ݁ ˖⌗﹒ 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐁 .ᐟ

CALEB, THE FARSPACE COLONEL : reunited after a long separation, he simply can’t control himself around you now that he has you back close to him ( heavy nsfw oneshot )

YOU MUST BE HAUNTING ME : you’re reunited with both of your best friends who are now not so fond of each other. But for your sake, they’ll share ( heavy nsfw oneshot ft. Zayne )

SAVE A PLANE, RAWDOG A PILOT : you’re certain he goes wild for you every time after you share a flight together to mark you up so others know this stewardess is off-limits ( nsfw oneshot )

COME HOME? CUM HOME! : husband returns from service after nearly a year, caleb is more than eager to reacquaint himself with his wife’s body ( nsfw oneshot )

THROUGH THE FABRIC : college au! Caleb indulges himself you early in the morning with his sole determination to tease you through the thin fabric stopping him ( nsfw drabble )

GOING ON A MARATHON : Caleb going round after round taking you from behind just to feel the swell of your lower belly filled with his load ( nsfw drabble )

MAKING YOU FEEL ME : you caught your boyfriend, Caleb, exercising in the space of his bedroom, you decided to help him in terms of motivation. Yet somehow, your presence gave him encouragement to do other things as well ( nsfw oneshot )

HE FINDS OUT YOU’RE PREGNANT : Caleb finds out your pregnant when you reveal it to him—how does he handle the news and you after ( nsfw drabble )

JUST THE TIP? : Caleb returns from a long day at work where he spent thinking, fantasising of you. He comes back home to coax a little attention from your busy self ( nsfw drabble )

TREATING A PREGNANT YOU : how does Caleb take care of his pregnant wife? ( fluff drabble )

BOY DAD CALEB : how does he act as a father to your son? ( fluff drabble )

TUTORING GONE SOUTH : a tutoring session with your academically excellent boyfriend turned into another type of session ( nsfw oneshot )

MANHANDLING YOU? : the little hints of manhandling when he takes his favourite girl ( heavy nsfw drabble )

MOODBOARD 1 ( my take on how his vibes w a gf would be! )

[ivysangel]

❀ - JASON TODD - ❀

ORIGINAL WORKS

❀ FRIENDS TO LOVERS ❀ (244) ❀ ❀ STUDYING BLURB ❀ (299) ❀ ❀ READ BETWEEN THE LINES ❀ (1.7k) ❀ ❀ HAND HOLDING DURING SEX ❀ (119) ❀ ❀ WET DREAM ❀ (643) ❀ ❀ PSEUDO-VAMP ❀ (479) ❀ ❀ KINDA NASTY FILTHY DEPRAVED ❀ (276) ❀ ❀ VDAY FOODPLAY ❀ (643) ❀ ❀ BABY DADDY!JASON ❀ (660) ❀ ❀ SIZE KINK ❀ (400) ❀ ❀ WHERE ARE YOU TONIGHT? ❀ (1.8k) ❀ ❀ BRANDING ❀ (382) ❀ ❀ SUNDRESSES ❀ (100) ❀ ❀ OBJECTIFICATION-ISH ❀ (1k) ❀ ❀ LOCKED AWAY ❀ (229) ❀ ❀ RAWDOGGING ❀ (150) ❀

ASKS

❀ NUDES HEADCANONS ❀ ❀ VAMPIRE HEADCANONS ❀ (FT. DICK) ❀ BILLIARDS ❀ ❀ TUTOR!JASON ❀ ❀ ALLEY BLOWJOB ❀ ❀ FINGERS IN MOUTH ❀ ❀ LOST PUPPY!JASON ❀ ❀ PRE-GALA SEX ❀ ❀ PILATES PRINCESS ❀ ❀ THREESOME ❀ (FT. DICK) ❀ BOOK CLUB COCKWARMING ❀ ❀ THIGH HICKEYS ❀ ❀ DISCOVERING WHAT HE LIKES ❀ ❀ COCKY IN BED ❀ ❀ TO BE LOVED IS TO BE TRUSTED ❀ ❀ DANCE FOR YOU ❀ ❀ BATH SEX ❀ ❀ THREESOME ❀ (FT. ROY)

[lanormie]

blipped - mcu crossover au (pt. 2)

what if? the event of Thanos snap happened in the BNHA universe? you're forced to navigate the aftermath of The Blip, where half of the population get thrown back into existence after disappearing for five years. pairing: pro-hero!Shouto x f!pro-hero!reader (ft. slight katsuki x reader) read on AO3 previous part - next part

As soon as you step outside, it becomes very apparent why the entire agency was mobilized. Absolute carnage has descended everywhere you turn. Vehicles are piled up in clusters on the streets, there are screaming and honking and smashing from all around you.

You quickly realize you’re not alone in your fate as you witness dozens and dozens of people materialize from thin air, one after the other. Some are lucky enough to turn up on the sidewalk, while some get unceremoniously dropped off into oncoming traffic, barely having time to process anything before they mercifully get scooped up by some speedster hero.

And by the time you stop someone mere feet from smashing into the ground on their way down from the sky, your commute home is thwarted as your hero instinct kicks into gear. You re-materialized in the same space you had disappeared from, so it’s not hard to deduce that some might have been on a plane when they got zapped away.

You take to the sky and find yourself dotted among dozens of airborne heroes, all flying in frantic patterns as more and more people are dropping from the sky in frightening velocity. You push as high up as you can go without your oxygen gears and take full advantage of your quirk. Where your telekinesis quirk lacks in strength, it makes up for it in range. You’re able to grab people within a large radius and set them atop tall buildings nearby without having to move an inch. 

Though as proficient as your quirk is, you have never been trained to deal with such a bizarre scenario where it’s literally raining men. So when you’re busy holding up two people and two more suddenly appear right on top of you, your footing slips. While you’ve managed to bring the latter two into your hold, you’re losing altitude quick and struggling to brake. The building below is approaching at such a speed that would guarantee you more than a few broken bones, but grant you enough momentum to push back and cushion the touchdown for the four of them. 

You’re clenching your jaw and bracing for impact when something red zips past your face. Then all of a sudden the weight of all four people gets lifted off of you as they get sent to a soft landing nearby by the collar of their shirt.

Finally able to change course, you dash back upwards to catch up to your savior, his strawberry blond hair dances in the wind as he cheerily grins down at you.

“Heya kid! You were about to eat it there!” He chirps, his crimson wings filling back out as a few feathers rejoin their formation.

“Thanks, Hawks.” You offer him a small nod in gratitude, feeling utterly inadequate in front of the Number Two hero. Wait, is he still Number Two?  

“What a day to be off-duty huh?” He tilts his stubbly chin at your gym clothes and severe lack of flight gears. Rawdogging the clouds , as Denki once called it.

You shrug. “Apparently I’ve been off-duty for a very long time now.” 

Hawks freezes at the insinuation, just as another person (re)materializes in the distance behind him. Before you could move a muscle though, a feather jets out and swiftly escorts them to the nearest surface. Damn Hawks and his super hearing.

“So you all–” He points at you then to the person he just saved, gears visibly turning behind his golden eyes. Something snaps him out of it as he takes a sharp inhale. “Sorry, I– I have to make a call.”

“Wait, Hawks!” You yelped. Questions are clawing at your throat now, vying for solution. “Just a second please! Can you tell me what happened?”

“Oh, uh,” He stumbles for the right words. “This may sound crazy, but half of the entire universe disappeared a while ago ‘cause of a villain named Thanos. He’s uh, he’s an alien– It’s a long story.”

Half of the universe . An alien . Neither concept is registering to you at any meaningful speed.

So you focus on the thing that’s been bothering you the most.

“How long has it been?”

“The five year memorial was a few weeks ago.” 

Hawks watches as his reply sends you into a stupor. The avian hero’s only ever known you in passing, a friend of a friend of a friend, and in this moment, he wants to help, to say something. But there’s no protocol for this, no guidelines on how to proceed when these things happen. It’s all uncharted territory.

So he sticks around, making quiet phone calls to his staff, urging them to check the Lawson near the agency where Touya had headed to before his disappearance, while keeping an eye and ear out to make sure no one meets concrete at lightning speed, including you. 

And you, despite still absentmindedly handling the wave of people blipping into existence, is struggling to quantify how long five years are.

Five years ago you were leaving Musutafu for another city and started high school in Ketsubutsu. That alone feels like a lifetime ago. So much has changed during those years and it terrifies you how vastly different things could be now. After all, your boyfriend– as if he’s your boyfriend anymore, seemed to have moved on already.

No , file that thought away for god’s sake, people are literally falling from the sky and you can’t afford to let any of them slip through your fingers.

Cause maybe, just maybe, their loved ones haven’t abandoned them yet.

.

The resurgence didn’t last much longer than twenty minutes, but the chaos persists as you part ways with Hawks and head for the ground. Weaving your way through the clashing waves of people running and yelling into their phones, one step in front of another, you resort to muscle memory to take you towards your apartment, the calamity before your eyes doing absolutely nothing to help guide you there.

The street names are the same, but you don't recognize the shops. The paint and decors are all wrong . Even the trees are different. Even the–

Even the name of your apartment building is different.

A foreboding feeling looms over your head as you plug the front entrance code into the little key pad attached to the door handle. 0425.

It flashes red.

You try again. 0. 4. 2. 5.

It flashes red once more, this time with a warning beep.

The panic you’ve been repressing starts to unravel. It seeps into your blood, hitching a ride to every part of your body till it’s oversaturated, driving you to start banging on the door like a madwoman.

Thankfully, it’s a familiar face who answers it.

“Mrs. Hatanaka!” You almost cheer at the sight of the elderly receptionist. 

“Heavens almighty,” She adjusts her glasses with shaky hands and looks you all over. “Oh it’s really you!” She gasps and pulls you into your third bone crushing hug of the day. You suspect there will be many more. “Where have you been, dear?”

“I honestly have no idea.” You speak into her graying hair, all too quietly. “Mrs. Hatanaka,” You stand back as she pulls away. “I left work in a hurry and forgot my keys, would you mind lending me the spare from maintenance?”

For a moment, she just stares at you.

“Sweetheart,” She finally manages. “Your apartment got repossessed years ago.”

Something shatters in your brain and your vision goes blurry. 

“The building was turned over to a new owner when the previous one went missing with everyone else.” She continues. “They terminated all the leases from the reported blipped folks, even though someone was trying to pay your rent for a while– oh dear, do you need to sit down?”

“What– oh.” Your eyes manage to refocus enough to spot all the floating potted plants and small items swirling in the air around you. “I’m sorry.” Reeling your quirk back with slight difficulty, you set everything back down just as a mop of red and white appears in your peripherals.

Shouto jogs over, disheveled and huffing for air. 

“Things got out of hand on 7th Ave so I got delayed.” He rests his palm on a nearby column, trying to catch his breath. “But I figured you’d be here.”

“Not for long.” You run your hands back and forth over your scalp to chase away the tingling numbness. “I don’t have a home anymore, Sho.”

“I see.” He nods, straightening up. “Neither do I.”

* * * * *

The Todoroki family home looks almost identical to the last time you set foot in here. The furniture have stayed in their exact same spots, down to the light blue shawl draped over the back of the couch. The tatami mat under your feet is cold to the touch, yet the familiarity and the memories of running up and down these halls offer so much warmth. You used to call this place your second home, having spent a whole lot of time here growing up, your cousin-turned-guardian being too swept up in work to really be present more than necessary.

You breathe in this moment of respite along with the toasty aroma of the genmaicha Auntie Rei has made for you and Shouto, and let your shoulders drop for the first time today. You pick up bits of and pieces of Shouto’s recount of running by his apartment and seeing an office building instead as he’s talking to his mom and sister, but you mostly stare at the steaming tea cup. Their reunion was a teary one, at least on Rei and Fuyumi’s end, so it doesn’t feel right to intrude no matter how much you still have trouble wrapping your head around all of this.

To you, no time has passed. You were just here yesterday . Not here in Shouto’s family home but here on this Earth. Then in a blink of an eye, you lost your boyfriend, your home, and five years of your life. Where do you even go from here? Do you just wake up and go to work tomorrow like normal? No, the agency is the last place you’d want to find yourself in right now. And do you even work there anymore? 

“Mom, Nats just heard from Touya!” Fuyumi exclaims from behind the kitchen counter, phone in hand. “He said Kei will try to drag him over tomorrow. Said Toto’s super confused and cranky at the moment.”

“That sounds like him.” Shouto deadpans, completely overlooking the fact that Rei’s tearing up again. 

“Yeah.” Fuyumi starts sniffling too. “Yeah it does.”

You stare harder into your tea. You’ve been in so much shock that you haven’t shed a single tear the whole day, but now you’re approaching the end of the rope and the sight of them crying might hurl you over that threshold.

As if sensing your distress, Shouto attempts to change the subject and blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“By the way Mom, where’s Dad?”

Nice going Shouto, nobody gets emotional around here about good ol’ Endeavor.

“Enji’s been in a coma for a couple months now.”

Oh.

* * * * *

There is no footage from the battle at the Avengers Complex, so the news turns to cover the sacrifice and death of Iron Man instead. A purportedly quirkless hero, though it’s highly speculated that he has some sort of intelligence quirk, considering all of his astonishing achievements.

Apparently he’s had a hand in bringing everyone back today. You have mad respect for the man, yet in this moment you can’t find it in yourself to be grateful.

You try changing the channel, but it’s a constant repeat of his story and images of the chaos during the resurgence, so you turn off the TV and flop down.

Fuyumi’s pajamas, though extremely soft and comfy, feel super strange on your body. So does the futon you’re sprawling out on in a corner of the Todoroki’s guest room. Even the air you’re breathing in is heavy with something foreign. Everything feels…wrong. It’s like you’re not supposed to be here. Like you’re not supposed to exist .

A knock on the door disrupts your thoughts. 

Sliding the shoji screen door open, you are greeted with Shouto, in PJs that he’s clearly grown out of, and two steaming mugs of something that smells invitingly sweet.

“I promised you hot cocoa before we ‘died’.” The quotation is implied as best as it can in his even voice. He hands you your mug. “Caramel and a pinch of sea salt.”

Your favorite way of jazzing up a hot choc. “Thanks, Sho.”

You and Shouto sit quietly across from each other at the kotatsu, sipping your respective warm drink. It’s comfortable like this, his long legs tangling with yours under the blanket as you let each other arrive at the conversation at your own pace.

Sometimes, the conversation never comes at all.

“Sorry about Katsuki–”

“Sorry about your dad–”

Today, the conversation comes at the same time. 

You bust out a laugh, the taut string in the back of your head snapping. Shouto follows with his own chuckle, you both falling into a manic sort of hysterics from the sheer ridiculousness of your reality. This is it, the dam has broken, you can’t hold back anymore, and your laughter promptly turns into tears.

Before you know it, Shouto has left his side of the table to crawl over to you. He holds you over his right side, he always does when you cry, to cool your eyes down so they don’t swell and sooth your skin as it inevitably becomes raw with salty tears.

He lets your sobs even out to a steady sniffle before reaching for your mug with his left hand and gently heating it back up. 

“Your shirt’s wet.” You frown.

“I’ve got plenty more.” He gives you the mug. 

You sit back, holding your drink and knees to your chest. “What do we even do now?”

“Right now, you need to sleep.” He points at you with his spoon, then moves to aimlessly fish for tiny pieces of marshmallow in his mug. “As for tomorrow, I don’t know.” He sets the mug down, seeing that the marshmallows would just all fall apart. “But you don’t have to do it alone. Cause if today tells me anything, it’s that you can’t get rid of me .”

He finishes his sentence with a light boop on your nose, causing you to genuinely smile for the first time in what feels like five actual goddamned years .

You hold out your hand.

“Friends even in death?”

He grabs it and gives it a firm shake. “Even in death.”

[martenoodles]

Third and final art post of the day to show some silly ocs in a cowboys au

(@lemonlurkrr 's oc rawdog and my roommate's oc Kaivir)

ft sketches of the toucherr (he is going to touches you)

[noodleguys]

oc doodle time 💥

(ft. @lemonlurkrr 's oc rawdog in a few of them)

[mogwaipoet]

Topic Lords #297: Grimace Exploded, Covering 70,000 People, ft. Erica and Judy. We discuss the Pantone college experience, why everyone with superpowers is a crime fighter or a criminal, metal utensils, Grand Avenue by Ron Koertge, and whether toothpaste is spicy.

Available for patrons, #298: Rawdogging Life, ft. Mark and Shirley. We discuss Music League, shaping the head like a Japanese watermelon, Kugelmugel, Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley, and using drugs in 2025.

[bbqw1]

2025.03.29

[hminnj]

hello helloo

no dividers I rawdog my tumblr blog page anyways welcome

↳ call me min, twenty, she/her, ✞, writes and draws (I'm working on it), learning morse code for fun atm

☆ sfw blog, im not actually actively writing atm, if inspo hits it hits tho

✈ multifandom - genshin, hsr, dcst, kn8, & jjk are current mains right now i guess

𓃗 rules - be respectful, shower, wear deodorant, general rules tbh

Masterlist

■ full fics

Have My Heart

g. satoru/reader ⤻ fluff; loving comes the easiest to satoru

Maybe In A Different Age

i. senku/reader ⤻ angst; a macroscopic view of you and senkus relationship through the years

★ drabbles/shorter fics

uncle sukuna/reader with a little addition (yuji)

toji/reader but its spyxfamily

𝐌 miscellaneous

jjk incorrect quote ft. the inumaki toge

[swordbreakerz]

I think more vocaloid producers who make english songs need to embrace the long legacy of making really really horny songs. Bc there's plenty of horny vocaloid songs w the japanese voice banks but those have plausible deniability for listeners who don't speak japanese I think and I think we need to change that. Flavor foley has started us off strong with rawdog ft hayden but we need more

[drfunkbeat]

what did they do to make this song so addictive i'm never a song-on-loop guy but i've listened to this so many times in a day

[gec2unow]

i think i need to go back to part time for like my genuine sanity i know 40 hours a week is like the "norm" but unfortunately i cannot rawdog 40 hours a week of a job i hate with my mental health right now. i thought about it as a viable option and felt the most overwhelming instant relief. i know im privileged that i can even consider it but im still covered under my parents insurance and we were able to make ends meet when i was working part time before.

idk. feeling very Bad about myself and i keep pushing off talking to someone at work about my feelings bc im so fucking nervous. i really wanted to excell in this position and was so stoked when i was promoted but this is making me mcfucking lose it. im just so embarrassed and ashamed. i feel like im gonna let everybody down so bad.

i have to talk to someone soon. i can't keep dreading every fucking shift to the point where i can't enjoy my days off bc im so worried about the next one. i can't keep sobbing right before i go in bc i don't wanna. i can't keep not having the time or energy to shower regularly let alone be active in my treatment/recovery.

just fucking humbling i guess. i was worried i wouldn't be able to handle ft rn and i was so right.

[xx-neon]

july 4th

hi again.

i was planning on writing more. the whole point of this was to get my feelings out everyday to cope but its been awhile.

again, if youre not me reading this. good luck.

so my ex broke up with me right? so much happened that i didnt know about. im tired of talking about it really since its been such a hot topic (my ex and i work together too and share a lot of the same friends) thats the cherry on top lol.

he has a new girlfriend. they started dating the day he left.

ouch.

another ouch? 

im her manager at work

looking at it now. this is all one giant hilarious cluster fuck LOL.

im not going to go into details of the messy stuff since its a dead horse at this point.

do i seem happier?

i actually tried killing myself. 

not because of him though. hes a loser with nothing going for him so that would be a waste. i did it because of all the emotions after what happened. i didnt have enough time to find somewhere to live. i couldnt bring my cat with me if i moved with my parents far away. i felt like the whole world was against me and i didnt do anything to deserve it. and it wasnt going to get better. i talked about being in a hole and trying to climb out in my last post. this hole extended 1000 ft in the ground and there was no sign of light. i had no sign of light in me. i didnt eat for a week. i drank everyday. i couldnt sleep. why me? what did i do wrong? is this my karma for being me?

so i really did it.

obviously it didnt work lol. im still here. i spent 6 days in the hospital. one in the ER and 5 in the BHU. i was diagnosed with an eating disorder, major depressive disorder and psychosis. i got help for my drinking too. whoo 

this sounds cringy. but i feel reborn. i didnt mention in my last post but i have BPD (boarderline personality disorder). ive been diagnosed for about 10 years. most of those spent unmedicated and out of therapy so i was really rawdogging life LOL. if you know anything about BPD its probably the worst thing to deal with. thankfully im self aware so i havent ruined my life but fuck man everyone else ruins it for me. 

im in extensive therapy. im on like what... 4 medications?? and i just feel like life is great. ewwww so cringe LOL. but seriously. it is. i dont think ive ever felt so normal in my life. my anxiety is gone. paranoia is gone. my head feels so light now im not bogged down. idk its just so nice. i smile at work now. i smile when i see my friends that i never knew i had. i just know how great life can be.

but then theres this.

schadenfreude

its a german word for basically feeling happy off of someone elses misery.

thats how i feel towards my ex

i know i know its fucked up. but what he did to me isnt?

i never said i was a good person LOL.

i love i just LOVE hearing about how miserable he looks and how happy i look. i revel in it. i cherish in it. i frolic in a field of flowers in it LOL.

okay. we get it. but seriously. i knew karma would come. thats why i learned to stay silent. yes i did lash out and have a mental breakdown wouldnt we all? but he lost friends over this. people think hes fucked up. that in itself makes me feel better. ya know schadenfreude. i do wish he could be a better person but i dont wish him the best. him feeling like this is good. he’ll learn from it. he’ll learn he cant always get away with being an asshole. karma will continue to come his way and she wont hold back. 

ill try to write more now that im happy. 

xx