#fucking roach

[pony-express-official]

Dearest pony express employee

I heard your ass was talking SHIT come outside rn you won't

-a man trapped in a mouthwash bottle

What are you gonna do? Drown me in mouthwash? You can't exactly do anything when trapped in there

[yooo-lets-go]

Wish you were here

[tsururoach]

POV u weren't invited to the P4 Ultimax grand prix

Bonus:

[adelinamoteru]

I’m a big believer in robin jason and red hood jason loving each other. they would kill for each other. they are SO understanding and protective of each other. I genuinely refuse any other pov sorry

[exoid-the-locomotive-monarch]

>be a webcomic

>decent popularity and critical support from the fans at the start

>immediate drop in quality over next bunch of updates

>fans hate it

>gets so bad writers and artists are harassed to the point of leaving the team

>endless controversies between writers acting shitty on their personal Twitter account to fans to accusing discord mods of being 4Chan nazis

>comic loses half its funding 8 months in

>bimonthly updates 4 months in return to the sluggish once a month updates from the start

>pause 14 months into the comic’s intended 5 year run.

>announce a month later indefinite hiatus

>radio Silence for THREE YEARS AND NINE MONTHS

>be almost 4 year anniversary of the webcomic’s start, 17 days away to be exact

>drop 4 DOZEN pages

>new director

>new writers union

>new EVERYTHING even the title of the comic changed

>the “it’s so over” from the fandom supercharges back into “we are so fucking back”

>its name is enough to scare half this website into shock

>look at tags

[stage1midboss-art]

black mask doodle

[silverspleen]

Why yes I am still in War Criminal Ship Hell, thanks for asking!

Price/Gaz shippers, I was today years old before I learned of your existence. Please write me your manifesto. I get it, I think I get it at least, but your should tell me the storied history of your ship and your favorite element of the dynamic. Just to make sure I actually get what I think y'all are putting down.

[transmascsimonriley]

burning passion

[cvntroach5000]

Bad Dog, Sit and Be a Good Dog 🔞

continuation of my nexos au fic series, featuring command evol reader!

pairing: caleb x reader

content warning: ooc caleb, suggestive, imprisonment, depiction of fictional mental ailments, power imbalance, dom/sub dynamics (sub caleb), human furniture, implied coming untouched, mind control

You slowly circle the prisoner, tapping your baton against the gloved palm of your hand. In the dim light, you swear you see a drop of sweat trickle down his chest. He kneels on the ground of the cell, heels tucked underneath him and arms held behind his back. But he is not restrained.

"Are you ready for today's routine interrogation?"

"Y-Yes, ma'am..." He whispers in reverence.

You hum, "What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"Yes, ma'am!" He repeats instantly, voice wavering slightly less this time.

Subject CL204 from the Fourth Ward, Sector Six. He is a very unique specimen. Despite the intense distortions messing with his mind, he's more compliant than some of his counterparts from the lower threat Wards.

"Good." You praise him, walking over to your chair.

You take a seat and cross your legs. CL204 whimpers quietly.

"Speak your mind." You encourage him.

He fidgets in his spot, glancing between your face and the floor.

"Permission to approach?" He breathes out, finally.

"Granted."

As soon as the affirmation leaves your lips, he springs from his heels and crawls over towards you. He stops right in front of you, hovering his chin above your knee.

"Permission to..." He swallows thickly, "Touch? Please?"

You scan your eyes over him. He seems stable enough.

"...Granted." You allow carefully.

He lets out a shaky breath, arms wrapping around your legs as he rests his head on your knee.

"The chair is hard." He rambles, "You should sit more comfortable."

You squint your eyes at him. He's trying something. Nothing nefarious necessarily. But he is testing the waters, looking for something.

"Are you suggesting more furnishing for your cell?" You don't think that's what he's asking, but you feign ignorance.

"No! No." He replies quickly.

He rubs his hand over your shin. Though he is the one carressing you, this action is clearly calming to him.

He licks his lips, as if tasting the words before he speaks them, "I could be your cushion."

You're still not satisfied with his insinuations.

"I won't sit on your lap, prisoner." You state firmly.

He jolts away from you, as if burned. Though you don't follow, the grip on your baton tightens on reflex.

"Not on my lap, ma'am." He scoots back over to you, pressing his forehead against the tip of your boot, "On my back..."

Even though you're familiar with the suggestion, it takes you slightly by surprise in this situation. For a moment, you wonder if you should go along with his needy requests or if it'd be more beneficial to keep a distance. Still, you'd hate to make him feel as though you're punishing him. At his best, he is easily the most well-behaved of the Sixth Sector beasts.

You slowly get up from your chair and he immediately scuttles backwards to give you space. He wastes no time bracing himself on his arms, lowering his head as he awaits your next move. You turn around and seat yourself on his muscular back. He hisses, feeling the leather of your uniform stick to the bare skin of his back.

"You're right." You muse, "This is more comfortable."

You absentmindedly trace the tip of your baton over his tailbone. You can feel him shiver underneath you.

"Thank you, ma'am. Always a pleasure, ma'am." He says between uneven breaths.

Classic Caleb. So eager to serve, so eager to please. Even in this detoriated state, that part of him never changes.

"Who am I?" You deliver the usual question.

He whimpers your name.

"Excellent." You take off one of your gloves and rub your hand over the back of his neck.

He moans softly, reveling in the skin-on-skin contact.

"When was I last here?" You pause your hand to let him focus on answering your questions.

He starts muttering numbers. He's counting mealtimes to calculate the days.

"Eight days, ma'am." He concludes.

"Very good." You comb your fingers through his hair.

Despite practically melting under your touch, he makes for a sturdy and stable seat.

"What did I ask you last time?"

"You gave me notes. Asked me to identify the ones written by me."

You gently pull on his hair, massaging his scalp. You can feel him start to tremble lightly.

"Yes. And how did you do?"

He takes a moment before daring to answer, "Good?"

"That's right. You were a very good boy, Caleb."

The tremors intensify. You swiftly lift yourself off his back. As soon as your warmth leaves him, he lets out a pathetic cry and slumps to the ground. He whines your name, in a manner that sounds almost jovial and boyish.

"Who are you?" You finally ask him.

He blinks blearily at you, then smiles so softly it makes your chest tighten.

"I..."

You hold your breath.

"I'll always be... By your side."

The prisoner passes out.

Despite your best efforts and his great progress...

Another failure.

You stroke his hair. He looks almost peaceful like this, free from the shackles of madness for just a moment.

"Go to bed."

The limp body goes taut. Without awakening, the prisoner carefully stands up and makes his way to the mattress in his cell before laying down on it. His muscles relax again, command completed.

You almost wish he was always this sweet. Putty and pliant in your hands, craving if only the sound of your voice. And yet you still missed him. The Caleb that tried to tease you, despite knowing your icy demeanor. The Caleb that pushed back against you when he was being overprotective. But even this rabid dog before you shall be domesticated by you one day.

[cod-dump]

Just played some MWII (2009) last night, shot Soap in the ass by accident because I saw sudden movement.

And then I proceeded to get nailed by a snow mobile.

Captain MacTavish having to write a report on how he ended up with a bullet in the ass and why Roach got knocked into next week by a snow mobile. It’s funny now, looking back at it, but in that moment it was so fucking embarrassing having to take note what happened.

Ghost wouldn’t stop laughing when he got all the information on what happened, in tears because he’s laughing so hard. Best part (for Ghost) is that Soap isn’t even sitting properly yet, which just adds to the humor of it all.

It may have been embarrassing for the two of them, but at least someone got a much needed laugh.

[missmrvee]

Don't worry guys, if you ever kill someone, just say "that's not true" (no need to elaborate) and "I don't claim that label" it'll work, it'll work so well

[ladysatoru]

everyone else : omg this forest is dangerous and we have an important mission to carry out

zoro : *beefing with a random roach he found in the forest*

[swampstew-stories]

You Picked Dare

Summary: Why the hell would you play truth or dare with a bunch of pirates?

Inspired by the mega awesome @magnuspirate who did this delighful tease of two hunky hunks hunking around

Warnings: nsfw but mostly language and suggestive content, no actual smut, Kid Pirates being the Kid Pirates. Killer x Female reader x Kid

Dare.

Dare. 

Dare.

Your bold statement had come out smug and confident, echoing in your head with a twinge of regret.

The Dare was to go into the hot springs and take a photo – of Killer and your Captain. Damn the others for knowing your kryptonite.

There was an opt-out option – to clean the communal bathrooms for a month. No fucking way.

As you walked through the island you took nervous hits of your blunt to ease the butterflies in your stomach. All you had to do was take a picture. There were no restrictions, you could be seen or hidden, as long as you got a photo of them that was all you needed to escape this torturous dare disguised as a group bonding activity.

Fuck the crew! You loved them but also fuck them. You were gonna get them back.

About a hundred yards away from the hot spring you took a final drag and snuffed out the remaining blunt. Giving yourself an internal pep talk as you took each step.

‘Position self behind a bush. Snap a picture. Sneak away and then run like the devil’s on my heels.’

Picturing your devil of a captain, your stomach coiled with anxiousness. Oh how you wished you could light up the roach.

Creeping between the foliage, you could hear Kid and Killer talking to each other in relaxed conversation. They didn’t appear to notice you, silently cursing as you realized they were still too far to take a photo.

Tip toeing on the patches of grass, you could make out their conversation more clearly.

“Ya ever think about sleeping with someone on the crew?” Kid suddenly asked Killer. You nearly fell over yourself when you heard the statement.

“Once in a while, rarely act on it though. You?” Killer mused.

“All the time.”

“Horn dog,” Killer scoffed.

“Can ya blame me? All our girls are hot as fuck.”

“Yeah, but I also see most of them as sisters…”

“You’re so pure,” Kid laughed. “Yeah they’re family, but they’re also not. I’m not saying I’d do anything about it either but it’s tempting some times.”

You felt as if you weren’t breathing, skillfully crawling around the shrubs eager to hear and see more, as silent as the dead. One breath and they were sure to discover you.

“Ahh is this about Y/N again?”

Time stopped. Your heart stopped. You didn’t dare move.

“Could be,” there was a tilt in Kid’s voice. “Don’t pretend you don’t think about her and what it could be like.”

“You’re being vulgar, which isn’t surprising, but what do you expect me to say? ‘Sure Kid I’ll bow out from another person of interest to give you the advantage as your friend.’” Killer legitimately sounded a little mad. Well like, personal hurt mad, not crazy mad which he was every single second.

“I’m a man with needs too. And I LIKE her.”

You wished to be a small lizard so you could watch them argue about you. Maybe the blunt was laced with something – wouldn’t put it past your crew to be honest.

Low growling preceded a laugh, and you could hear the sound of water splashing. Oh to the gods to be a fish in that spring.

“Alright fair enough. Would it make you feel better if we do it together? It’d be her choice who she’d choose no matter what, no hurt fee fees over it. Maybe if we come at her with a multi-partner thing, 50/50 she agrees?”

“Kid!”

“60/40?”

“Stop it.”

“Damn 10/90?”

More splashing of water, waves of it crashing over your coverage and wetting your clothes. Practicing your breathing exercises, you mentally pumped yourself up to get it over with. One snap and bam, you’re gone.

“What if we show her our dicks first?”

“KID!”

“Whadd’ya say Y/N? Wanna check the goods before you sample them?” Kid couldn’t hold back his laughter.

Gods be damned. They all sucked.

Gathering the last ounce of dignity and lighting your roach, you jumped out from behind the foliage with your camera, looking to the side as you snapped the picture. Whether is was worthy enough to pass was no longer your priority.

“IT WAS A DARE!!!!” you screeched as your turned on your heel and bolted. You poor thing, you didn’t make it past 1 yard.

“Oh you’re not going anywhere, Y/N,” Kid taunted as Killer wrapped his arms around you and picked you up. His towel becoming loose and distressed from your struggling. Bringing you back to the hot spring.

Taking the camera, Kid tossed it in the water with the smuggest face a motherfucker could make.

“We showed you ours, now we dare you to show yours.”

Originally posted - soon to be archived from main

[sillygoose343]

i have to let the gang know i fuck with roach x reboot!ghost

[spectrecowboy]

ok heres the CoD art i promised from earlier. the sketch is so. so tiny. but for a fic im working on

soaproach sparring from my au!

[mactavishenjoyer]

Soap, leaning in and kissing roach:"I love you."

Roach:"you can't do that in public you're my brother!"

Soap:

Soap:"I hate you more every day."