#garrett the garbage guy

[darkjakkus]

yaoi.

[duckngk]

who up yuri-ing they minecraft

[ayjaydraws]

you were supposed to be a hero…

[sarbearsposts-blog]

GARBAGE MAN !!!!! 🎮💞🗑

Old reference drawing of this loser with his iconic pose

I fear this fandom for the movie is dead or slowly dying 😭😭

[theythatsayohmystars]

recently i’ve been super into acrylic keychains and i wanted to try and diy a brokenpickaxe keychain out of shrinky dink plastic and acrylic paint. i learned the hard way that the paint doesn’t work well and gets all crinkly 😭😭 i mean, i still think they’re pretty cute!!

today i made another simpler version (tv girl inspired 🩷🩵) with sharpies and it worked a lot better. all in all it’s been a fun experiment and project, and this one is adorable!!

[king-of-the-butterfly-gore]

it's a new thing and it's very much not objective but I am not a fan of the name broken pickaxe for steve and garrett LOL

why is it broken.. where does that name come from. yall (on tiktok i believe) just tossed words together. I saw one singular person call steve and garrett "garbagemine" and if we had to go with a title-type ship name I'd much prefer that we should popularize that one it makes so much more sense and flows so much better

[salesperson-competition]

ROUND 1 - GARRETT THE GARBAGE MAN GARRISON vs MR. CUPS

Will Garrett the Garbage Man Garrison be able to sell Mr. Cups videogames, assorted paraphernalia, but mainly a mentorship program (that may or may not include him pretending to be Mr. Cups' uncle) in return for cash. minimum 25 whole bucks.

OR will Mr. Cups sell Garrett the Garbage Man Garrison trash, garbage, and crockery in exchange for cash?

PROPAGANDA

GARRETT THE GARBAGE MAN GARRISON

"Homoerotic tension with Steve. Poor. Was the 1989 video game world champion."

MR. CUPS

"Autistic and capitalist. WOuldn't hurt a fly. WOuld hurt an innocent human being."

[servedvenison]

Girls Night | Garrett Garrison x Reader

QUICK A/N — so, i haven’t written in over three years, but there is one garrett fic and i NEED. more content of this man. this was originally supposed to be uploaded to ao3 and ao3 only but i remembered old friends have that account so i will wait here until i can make a new account LOL. anyway, i hope you enjoy. be kind. its been so long since ive been here hahahaa……

After spending your days with few close relationships, your time in the overworld had changed that for the better. Now, you found yourself in a happy little group of six. Sure, the age gaps were a bit... humorous, but you were all like a little family. Of everyone, though, you were closest to the "Garbage Man" himself. You two had been close even before all the blocky nonsense. But that was it, wasn’t it? Friends.

Garrett, Henry, and Steve were all off doing their "guy business” not that you had any interest in joining them. You didn’t mind one bit, especially after Dawn had suggested you, her, and Natalie spend some time together instead.

"I mean, those three are always running off doing God knows what," she said. "Why don’t we have a little fun, too?" She had a point. After hours of brainstorming some crazy ideas for a girls' night out, you all decided to stay in. You worked full-time jobs, going crazy late at night? Nah, not for us.

The night had gone by smoothly, lots of giggles, jokes, and gossip. Fun stuff, right? But it wasn’t long before the conversation shifted to the guys. It all started with Natalie talking about Henry, how happy she was that he’d finally started to fit in and make friends. Dawn turned to you.

“Come on, Y/N. You’ve known Garbage Man for how long? How do you do it? The guy’s a total loser.” You stifled a laugh behind your hand. She was totally right—Garrett was the biggest loser you’d ever met. And in a weird way? You really liked that about him.

“Okay, okay! Back when we were younger, he was like—the coolest guy ever. I’m serious! Don’t laugh!”

Dawn and Natalie were howling at this. They were both well aware of Garrett’s so-called celebrity status, how could they not? It’s all the man talks about. But cool? Garrett? Really? You knew the guy was somewhat of a loser, but him being cool wasn’t that surprising!

“With the way he followed you around like a lost puppy back in the overworld, for a second I thought you two were a thing.”

The comment caught you off guard, your face going red as you nearly choked on your drink. Natalie and Dawn exchanged a quick glance before turning back to you. Their reaction told you everything—they knew something, and they weren’t going to let you live this down.

“You guys are totally nuts. He didn’t know any of you, and we were in some random dimension, honest!” Wow, as if you couldn’t seem more suspicious. Natalie rolled her eyes. “But he sure did look cozy with Henry, you know, the kid he’d known for less than a day? And don’t get me started on Steve—”

Okay. She’d got you there. You didn’t have a valid argument. But honestly? You’d never even considered your relationship with Garrett that way.

You were lost in your thoughts until Dawn placed her hands on your shoulders, snapping you back to reality. “Listen, as much as I hate that self-centered dud, even I know he really likes you, Y/N. And don’t get me wrong, I do love to play matchmaker!”

Natalie and Dawn giggled together like two high school girls scheming to get their friend to confess to a crush. You appreciated their enthusiasm, but wasn’t this moving a little fast? Was it really that obvious to everyone but you

Lost in your thoughts again, you replayed every small memory you had with Garrett.

He was always doing things to get your attention or approval, trying to ‘protect’ you when mobs approached in the overworld, getting you small gifts and trinkets when his wallet allowed it. But that was just friendly stuff, right? Stuff people do for friends they’ve known for ages, right? Well, sure, but Dawn and Natalie insisted it was more than that. Garrett wasn’t shy, he would do those things for anyone. But the small things he did for you... those were things he hadn’t done for anyone else.

[starshinewritesalot]

Steve X Reader X Garrett - [Best of Both Worlds]

SFW, GN!Reader, canon-faithful writing and fun times all around

Steve hasn’t had much action in his life, relationship wise. Always alienated in school, maybe had a few flings in adulthood, but people always sought him out for a good time rather than a real commitment… But then there was you.

Something about you, when you stumbled into the Overworld alongside your other roundling friends… You stood out, not in the way that Henry did but… Something else.

Dawn and Natalie were indifferent, Garrett was more than infuriating, but you were a surprising addition to the crew in the fact that you took a shine to him and his architecture almost instantly.

When he spoke you listened, even seemed impressed with his talent. No one else seemed to care about the time and effort that went into this world, most of it being done by his hand. It was nice to feel appreciated, to feel seen.

As a modern gamer yourself you took to the mechanics of the world almost instantly, Steve was almost flustered albeit impressed. He'd be in the middle of explaining something as simple as a crafting table with his usual gusto, and then boom! You'd just make one yourself. Tools? Easy. Armor? Easier! And mining... Hoo boy, he had to keep you from strip mining through an entire mountain, despite how much he'd love to join.

"You found iron already?! It took me forever to get out of the stone age!"

Since you weren't such a try-hard like Gar-Gar he was happy to nurture you and Henry's creative impulses, though the Garbage Man himself was rather jealous of how quickly you got a handle on things (and especially how you got ahold of Steve's attention. He couldn't tell who he was more jealous of, truthfully).

During a late night campfire session you even had it in you to ask about his life before the Overworld.

“Steve..?”

“Yeeeees?”

“What was your life like before the Overworld..? I know you said it was boring and all, but what made you choose to stay here for so long?”

If you didn’t know any better you’d think he was running from something.

He drew a deep breath in as he laid next to you under the stars, pursing his lips together. Despite being such a silly guy, you could tell there was a lot more going on underneath his braggadocios exterior.

“In my world… Well, our world, I was very lonely. I knew no one would miss me, so I stayed here where I found purpose. There was nothing I couldn’t do, nothing I couldn’t build… The sky's the limit. You know how expensive it is to build a house in the real world, kid?”

His tone was joking but he wasn’t necessarily wrong, it was a cruel world outside of the cubes.

“Yeah, I know… Sucks not having more people like you around though. The real world sure could use a Steve or two.”

He chuckled, hands clasped over his tummy, but his laughter was short lived when he heard a fake gag coming from the tent you originally shared with Garrett.

“Ugh, are you two sapheads gonna be up all night? Tryin’ to get some beauty sleep in here!”

Garrett had not been a fan of how close you and Steve had become over the course of this adventure. At all.

Leading up to the discovery of the portal, Garrett had been scheming of ways to ask you out without making it seem too obvious.

Your job had you fly out to Chuglass for a higher position in the company, but once you got there you found out the position they offered had already been taken somehow. This was after you’d already spent your savings moving and flying of course, so you were actively trying to save up so that you could get back home soon.

You swung by his store pretty often to sell some of your old junk, you knew he was lowballing you so you’d either have to heckle or concede to seeing one of your previously precious relics up on the shelf for double the price you sold it a week later.

Even so, this had become somewhat of a ritual for the two of you. As more of your boxes made the trip across the country you’d visit again, the cycle would continue. Although he was a stingy ass, there was an odd charm to him that you couldn’t quite place. Something that drew you back to the store far more than the prices.

As you leafed through some of the used CDs he kept replaying scenarios in his head, trying to figure out how he’d go about asking you on a date.

“Hey person who I argue with and resell shit from constantly, wanna go on a date? Not like you have many other guys to select from since most everyone else around here is a middle aged loon!”

“No, no, that’s terrible…” He murmured right as you had pulled out a CD you were interested in.

You shot him a glare in response, presuming he was judging your music taste.

“No, not you,” He waved his hand dismissively, shaking his head. Before the two of you could get into it, Hank walked in and the whole cube thing happened. There went his one and only shot of asking you out prior to this fiasco, and he blew it just like he does everything else.

It's not as though it got particularly better in the Overworld either, left and right he kept making a fool of himself.

While you excelled at crafting, mining, and combat, he was bumbling around like an oaf trying to talk to sheep and wielding buckchuckets. He'd never been more embarrassed, and exceedingly unwilling to admit it at that.

He wagered that he must look like a real dumbass in your eyes. A real Boo Boo the Fool. That may have been true to some degree, but unbeknownst to him it only endeared him to you more.

The lengths he'd go just to one-up you and Steve were comical, it was kind of cute seeing him act so cocky and then pout right after when it went awry.

You wanted to console him deep down, but you knew that would just make him feel justified in his petty antics so you refrained, wrestling back a bemused smile all the while.

Steve felt the same exact way, even if his macho exterior wouldn't allow such sentiments to bleed through.

I mean, when was the last time he had another man his age around? Even with Garrett's hidden indentions, Steve enjoyed their little banter and pseudo-rivalry. There was no competition really, but it was nice to see him try!

And, while the average observer may think Steve was annoyed or felt disrespected, it was truly the opposite. You may have recognized Steve from a different angle, but Garrett quintessentially met him on his level. Mano y mano, if you will. He saw him as a worthy competitor and acted accordingly, he didn't treat him like some dopey accountant who couldn't do anything for himself, no! He treated him like a man... Steve liked that.

With all of this in mind, it still didn't prevent tensions from rising. You and Garrett got into a spat that night at the campsite, since he conveniently liked to act up when you and Steve were having genuine moments together. The night ended with you switching to Steve's tent, MUCH to Gar-Gar's dismay, and the very next day a brawl broke out at the nearby village that caused you to separate from him, Steve, and Henry.

Dawn and Natalie tried to comfort you as best they could, Nat being pretty oblivious to the obvious romantic tension sizzling like hot lava chicken between you and the other two men on the team.

"I'm just worried about them, we left things off really shitty... Me and Garrett, then you and Henry... It's like we just can't stop fighting..."

"Ugh, that toolbag could start a fight with a baby if he wanted to. He'll get over it, and Henry... I just want him to be safe right now. I think... Well, I hope Steve can do at least that..." She seemed to be lost in thought as she helped you row the boat you crafted while Dawn read the map.

"There's a fork up ahead... We need to take a right..." Dawn murmured as she studied the details of the map, furrowing her brows at the big red section up ahead. Maybe the woodland mansion was past the mushroom forest..? Could be possible...

The ride was quiet for the most part, but while you and the girls were peacefully sailing the boys were fighting for their lives trying to out-fly the piglins. Sadly you had to miss out on Steve and Garrett’s midair kiss, but you never anticipated that you’d only reunite with one of them later in your journey.

Steve laid there motionless on the bed with Dennis curled up at the foot of it, the rise and fall of his chest being the only sign of life. He was healed, peaceful, and he looked so beautiful just lying there beneath the sun and getting some proper rest… His survival brought you peace, but he lack of a certain someone’s presence was still very concerning.

After a while of you sitting at his bedside Dennis got up and began to lick Steve’s beard, the old man slowly stirring and eventually giggling at the ticklish feeling. “Dennis! It’s really you!” He sat up and gave his faithful companion some good scritches, grinning at the pooch. As he turned to you his expression softened, not necessarily in a bad way just… Different.

“And you, Y/N…”

He looked like he wanted to say something more, but he knew now wasn’t the time… The battle wasn’t over, and he already knew what your first words to him were going to be.

“Where’s Garrett?”

“Gar-Gar, he’s…” He trailed off.

Nat, who was seated next to Henry on his bed, looked over at you with a grave expression.

“I don’t know,” Steve finished softly, casting his brown eyes onto the ground. “He fought bravely, but the piglins had us surrounded. He… Sacrificed himself to save Henry and I. He lived and unalived like the warrior he was.” He nodded solemnly as you covered your mouth, tears welling up in your eyes. “N-No, it can’t be…”

He put a hand on your shoulder tentatively, he half expected you to shrink away but to his surprise you threw yourself onto him, crying into the crook of his neck and holding him tight. He hated to see you this way, but he also felt honored that you’d choose him as a source of comfort. He ran his calloused hands along your back doing his best to console you. He was pretty torn up about it himself, but he didn’t want you to see that side of him yet. Garrett wouldn’t want him crying over it anyway.

Dawn and Natalie did their best to be supportive while you were grieving, hell even Henry was trying to cheer you up. There was nothing they could do though, as the only thing that could sate your sadness was bloodshed and revenge.

You crafted yourself a pair of diamond nunchucks in Garrett’s honor, making it your mission to tear through every piglin in sight. In your rage you’d adopted some of Garrett’s mannerisms and cockiness, even stealing some frags from Natalie as you fought alongside her. It was annoying but you were going through it, and it was too late to argue with too many important things on the line right now.

With the raging emotions at the forefront of your mind, you didn't think to question sending Henry to go get the orb despite being the only child on the team. He was the only one not drowning in pork right now, so you kept up the good fight while he scaled the nether portal by his lonesome. Although it seemed the war had been won, a blast from The Great Hog sent Henry flying. The thought of losing another team member so soon after the other sent a pang of shock through your chest, but that wasn't going to happen... Not on Garrett's watch.

The Garbage Man swooped in valiantly, saddled beneath a Ghast using his arms to steer the beast.

For a second you couldn't tell who it was, but upon recognizing that pink tasseled jacket and long flowing hair it dawned on you that your brave knight managed to beat the odds and survive!

After him and Hank's brief reunion and acquisition of the orb. you called for him--nay--screamed for him, shouting his name until he landed nearby.

As the piglins crumbled around you he came running, hugging you first out of everyone else. He swooped you up and swung you around, laughing like a madman.

"I thought I'd never see you again..!" Everyone aside from Steve, who was busy finishing off Malgosha, surrounded you in preparation for the epic group hug that was about to happen. They wanted you two to have your moment first though.

"Y yo tu, which is... Me too, in Spanish," He placed a rough hand on the side of your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb as he gazed down at you lovingly.

"Te amo," You murmured softly.

"... Whuh?"

"Te amo," You reiterated.

He nodded, though still maintained a confused expression.

"That means I love you in Spanish," You raised a brow at him, your wistful smile curling into a frown.

"OHHH right, right... Yeah, love you too babe," He leaned down to give you an amorous kiss, his scruffy beard tickling your face as he held the back of your head firmly.

Henry gagged jokingly, Natalie crossed her arms and shook her head, and Dawn simply smiled and nodded. "Oh, I been knew somethin' was goin' on with those two."

Just when the kiss began to last long enough to get awkward, Steve arrived in what remained of his diamond armor, a solemn look on his face. He cleared his throat when he grew near, prompting you and the Garbage Man to separate. The two of you looked at each other and then at Steve, happy and yet... Almost guilty.

He smiled, it was pained, but a smile nonetheless.

"It's about time, you two... You always bickered like an old married couple," He glanced at the two of you as he knelt down to pet and sing to Dennis, a truly heartfelt farewell ballad. You and Garrett held hands the whole way through, but you knew things didn't have to end this way.

Garrett untangled his fingers from yours to approach Steve, the two of them locking arms like they did when they first met. "I respect your decision to stay, but out there I don't have too many, uh, friends my own age."

Steve shook his head, "Nah, you'll be fine. You have Y/N now," He gestured his head towards you, wearing an expression of defeat. Garrett had beat him in the battle to win your heart, fair and square... That's what he thought at least.

"Go on home Gar-Gar, you two can keep each other warm on winter nights, take Dennis to the beach during the summer, all that fun stuff..."

To your surprise, Garrett held Steve's face just as he had held yours, swiping his thumb in the same way.

"If you say so brochacho, but if you ask me... Every good movie series is a trilogy. Think about that," He released him, gaze lingering on the turquoise bloused male for a little too long before hooking an arm around your shoulder and walking towards the portal with you.

Natalie's parting words and yours from the campsite lingered with him as he watched you and the gang walk away together, the gears slowly beginning to shift in his mind.

"We could use some of that magic in the real world."

"The real world sure could use a Steve or two."

"Every good movie series is a trilogy. Think about that."

He took one last look at the Overworld, something told him this wouldn't be his last time here but for now...

"Ah, screw it. It's about time I craft something in the real word that I can call mine."

He ran after you guys and into the portal, nearly tripping into you and Garrett on his way out.

"Steve!" Everyone shouted in unison, crowding around him and suffocating him in one big hug. While the others pulled away you and Gar-Gar looked at each other knowingly, nodded, and then each planted a big wet kiss on each side of Steve's face--much to his surprise.

His face flushed as brightly as redstone, whipping his head back and forth to look at you both in disbelief. "What the--?! Y-You two... This whole time?!"

"I thought it was kinda obvious, I just didn't say anything," Henry shrugged and walked off ahead of everyone else, having no desire to sit here and watch all three of his mentors kiss at the same time. "I second that," Dawn agreed, staying by his side to make sure he didn't wander off again. "I... Honestly had no idea," Nat sighed, rubbing the back of her neck, lingering briefly before letting you three have some proper alone time in the mines together.

"Wow... For a second there I was scared I lost the two of you as friends, but now," Steve chuckled. "It seems I have both of you in a very different way."

"It was a hard choice for a while," You admitted, rubbing his belly gently through his unisex cyan shirt. "But then I realized I didn't have to choose at all. If you're building a house and can't decide between spruce or birch, just use both."

"Yeah, what they said... I didn't win gamer of the year by only playin' one character on the roster," He gave Steve's stomach a firm pat, grabbing the flesh and giving it a little shake earning a small "oof!" from the older man.

"C'mon you guys, lets go home."

As all of you walked off into the sunset without any real idea of whose house you'd be heading to, the future seemed bright for the three of you. Normally thinking far ahead filled you with a sense of dread, but after surviving the challenges of this life and the perils of another you realize that meeting both of these men at the same time in your life truly is the best of both worlds.

[link-lonk]

My sister wanted to see the minecraft movie for her birthday this year (she turned 17) so here are some actual real things that happened in the movie (There are spoliers)

The main villain's backstory is that she danced in the minecraft version of America's Got Talent and got bullied so hard for her dancing that she decided that all creatively is bad

A baby piglin draws a picture and the villian kills him for it

Anytime a piglin is killed it turns into a cooked porkchop. A lot of piglins die

At the end of the movie one very large piglin dies and we watch the light fade out of its eyes

Jason Momoa's character is named Garrett The Garbage Man. He is in fact not a garbage man and works at his own video game store. He got the nickname "Garbage Man" for being the world champion at an arcade game when he was a teenager in the 80s

Several minecraft youtubers get cameos but none of them have any lines (DanTDM is wearing a cowboy hat)

Jason Momoa's and Jack Black's characters are basically flirting for the entire film. I am not making this up

There is a scene where the guys have to fly on elytras. Jack Black does not have one and instead RIDES JASON MOMOA. When Jason Momoa's character complains about not being able to steer like this Jack Black says "Let my hips guide you." (my sister and I both lost our shit when he said this)

Jason Momoa and Jack Black 69 on the elytra (I could not make this up if I tried)

Halfway through the film Jack Black starts calling Jason Momoa's character GarGar

Jason Momoa and Jack Black wear mushroom hats and both play saxophones to distract a group of Vindicators

If you look into an enderman's eyes it inflicts psychic attacks where you see everyone you love saying how disappointed they are in you. After the psychic attack the enderman does actually physically attack you

There's a piglin who tells the characters that he has to "unalive" them

There's a sideplot where Jennifer Coolidge hits a villager with her car and the two of them fall in love. At the end of the movie it is revealed that their love is so powerful that the villager can now speak English and Jennifer Coolidge can speak Villager. The two of them get engaged.

"First we mine. Then we craft. Let's Minecraft!" (An actual real line said in this movie in complete seriousness)

All of the human characters are referred to as "Roundlings" by the Piglin villain

A ghast swallows a baby piglin and then blows up and dies

As the main villain is dying she asks Jack Black to come closer to her. When he does she pulls out a knife that Jack Black immediately slaps out of her hand. Jack Black starts to walk again and then this whole gag happens a second time

The same gag is attempted a third time but Jack Black walks away for real so the villian weakly throws the knife and then just slumps over and dies

Jack Black sings a sad song about his dog (the dog is fine)

In the post credits scene Jack Black (Steve) meets Alex

These aren't plot points as much as other thoughts I had

The diamond armor that Jack Black wears is so ugly. Like it's so bad.

Almost all of the "minecraft" items the characters use just look really fake

There are several scenes where Jack Black is talking and you can see the spit fly out of his mouth

All of Jack Black's original songs feel very out of place and really aren't needed

The female characters are sidelined for pretty much the entire movie. The focus is entirely on the male characters. -_-

This movie was an absolute trip. My sister and I kept turning to each other and asking what the fuck was happening because the whole thing was just wild.

We both kept laughing but half of the time it was because whatever was happening was so bad it looped back around to being funny. None of the serious bits in this movie worked.

[august-parker]

I have some takes on the minecraft movie I wanted to explain, overall I think it was actually really good and I enjoyed it so here's my justification for it:

I whole heartedly agree the animation was not great, but it was tolerable and honestly the backgrounds and movement of things looked nice, I loved the way they made the woodland mansion so dark and sort of Gothic architecture because that's exactly as I imagine it!

CHICKEN JOCKEY🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️

The plot of the whole "save the world from eternal darkness" was kinda cool, I liked the main villain (her knife bit at the end actually made me laugh so hard) the big 'boss' piglins looked kinda dope along with the other mobs, the spiders looked cool with the fuz!

The characters relationships were really well established in just an hour and a half, Henry and Natalie are siblings forced turned "mother" and child, with Natalie overthinking her parenting and Henry struggling to be a "good kid" honestly it seemed a bit deeper than I thought they'd make it in a kids movie. I liked the animal lady and how she shared that she was struggling just like Natalie was reassuring her like that, although I do think the female characters were pushed aside for like half the movie which is sad because I loved them :(

Garrett/garbage man is sort of the guy who fell out of fame, he was cool and now he believes he isn't anymore along with the fact he's literally going broke, to stubborn to admit it until it's kinda forced out of him in anger; and about that temper I liked it, I liked how jealous he immediately got of Steve because he's arguably cooler than him, I also fucking love how they lowkey had sexual tension???? Steve and Garrett were flirting the whole time??? And Garrett squeezing him between his thighs after Steve grabbed his hair riding him????? YES THAT'S AN ACTUAL THING FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEEN IT.

Garrett and Henry have the best uncle and kid relationship, yes they got into an argument but it was quickly resolved and it was so nice to me :) the scene after Garrett "died" and came back saving Henry was so cute and I loved how fast Henry got excited to see that he was okay.

Steve and his dog Dennis were actually adorable, Jenifer coolage and that villager she hit with his car actually DATE and that's fucking hilarious to me (I beg of you LOOK UP THE END CREDIT SCENE WITH THEM. JUST DO IT.)

Some of the stuff they had in the movie that wasn't actually in the game, for example the speed golem is actually something I hope they BRING to the game!!! It was so dope and the action in the movie was actually so intense???? It was amazing??? The whole alytra scene where they're flying from like a million bad guys was PEAK CINEMA I love old man yaoi 🙌

There's definitely more I could say about it, it was fun and I actually ended up happy leaving the theatre even talking about it after :) honesty I have incredibly low standard for what a good movie is mostly because I'm easily entertained and I tend to be less focused on little things only seeing the big picture, but it was a funny movie that I might rewatch when it comes to streaming services :P

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Ohhhh it's canon?

Ohhhh traveling on moonbeams very magic girl vibes.

Lol insuferably handsome. 😂

Why are all Garrett's character a little less than 6 feet?

Why does a werewolf need a two handed sword?

They all have a lot of titles, I cannot remember them all. I do wanna know what they all mean though.

Noooooo 😂😂😂 not a werewolf named Jacob and then Jacob braun instead of black. Stop right now 😂😂😂that is too funny.

Shadowlord? And a gauntlet? Edgy and badass I love it!

Werewolves have a king?

Orangy spongy flesh??? Oh no!!!! This is bad. 😬

I love sibling relationships.

This is kind of different from Dan and Jesse. It just proves I really know nothing about all of this. I'm sure there's all kinds of hints to lore that are going completely over my head. 😂

Wait what??? She is 12????? And has only spoken for 5 years? That is wild. Did we know that she was so young? Was this said at the introduction and I just totally missed it? She's a little kid!

What the heck are all these rights??

Noooooooooo not Zantosa??? Not again. Will he always torment us??? 😭

Rebecca, the most polite power gamer there has ever been.

Okay what's the deal with this worm stuff??

That's gotta be Ramirez and one of the other hunters

Omg garbage pizza!!!

Is this Sheila? I hate that I don't know the name.

Omg what Ramirez's daughter??? Wtf???? Now I'm even sadder Ramirez is dead.

These people are so serious. Which kind of make sense since they're facing the end of the world and all that. But I've been listening to Ashville and those guys are a bunch of silly billies.

So wait if these werewolves kill the hell house shit that would be really helpful.

Eeeeewswww Lex stop!!! Why is hell house so grossssssss????? 🤮🤮🤮

Okay but a vampire with silver claws that hurt himself, that's badass.

They've hardly even started and it's already going bad and So So gross!!

Wait what she will die???? Thank fuck for 3 successes!!

Nico is such a cute nickname.

No matter the system, hearing they can roll 18 dice damage is always such a rush.

Strength 16?? Wtf? 25 dice? That's insane, it might be illegal.

Tim going all put describing how badass his attack is and what happens and then ending with "I assume" is very endearing.

Don't describe Jacob as a bulge in an intestine so casually!

Even though I am enjoying this oneshot greatly I don't know if I can relisten to it. There's just so much gross description. Though it probably doesn't help that I'm now listening to this early in the morning before having eaten breakfast.

Ohhh interesting, I know we already knew about the eldest, but it's still interesting to get confirmation from the source.

Home wrecker lmao.

[greensparty]

Movie Review: A Minecraft Movie

Every now and again I get to bring my son to a press screening of a movie that he's super into. Such is the case with A Minecraft Movie. Last Halloween my son went as a Minecraft character and my wife and I joined the fun as skeletal and insect characters. I don't play the game or follow any of the adaptations, but I got to attend this press screening with my son, which was fun! Directing this adaptation is Jared Hess. That's right, the director of Napoleon Dynamite directed this. When that debut film was released in 2004 there was a good year or two of it having a cult following and people quoting it. I was not a fan. The story was non-existent and the characters were more like caricatures, but most of all it wasn't funny. As an indie filmmaker witnessing it's Sundance to theatrical release, I didn't get it. A lot of friends enjoyed it and quoted it. People I respect and admire like Jonathan Demme and Dave Grohl sung its praises, but I couldn't drink the Kool-Aid. Since then, Hess has dabbled in both studio and indie films. I hadn't followed his career in a long time, but last year when I was covering the Oscar Nominated Shorts, I caught his animated short Ninety-Five Senses, which was nominated for Best Animated Short of 2023 (yes, Hess is actually an Oscar nominee). That short actually was good, notably Tim Blake Nelson's voice performance. Now he's making his "one for them" studio event movies with six screenwriters.

movie poster

Jack Black (now Mr. Family Entertainment after Kung Fu Panda and Super Mario Bros. in recent years) is Steve, a regular guy who escapes into the Overworld, a virtual world built on imagination. Jason Momoa (flexing his comedic muscles) is Garrett "Garbage Man" Garrison, a former video game champ as a teen in the 80s, who is now a washed-up has been who is barely keeping his video game store going. Natalie (Emma Myers) and her younger brother Henry (Sebastian Hansen) are new in town after they moved following the loss of their mother. Dawn (Danielle Brooks, the lone Oscar nominee in the cast) is the realtor and friend to Natalie and Henry. They all come together in the Overworld and go on a journey together to try to make it back home. Oh and Jennifer Coolidge is the vice principal at Henry's school.

I went into this movie with the bar being set rather low: it was based on a video game I'm not that into and from a director I've never been a big fan of. But since my son is a fan of the game I thought - if nothing else we'd have fun together seeing it (much like my taking him to The Garfield Movie or Kung Fu Panda 4 last year). He loved it and ranked it a 9 out of 10. Here's what I say: This movie definitely feels like the kind of studio movie that is written by a committee of multiple screenwriters. It's also one of those big VFX extravaganza's where the vast majority of the movie looks like it was shot on a soundstage with green screen. There's also some vanity moments for Hess where he slips in some references to Napoleon Dynamite. I'm sorry Hess, but that film hasn't stood the test of time, so that's just you advertising yourself in the middle of this movie! But beyond the funny moments that I actually laughed at, there were two things I need to give credit to this movie for: (1) Momoa's character is clearly a reference to the documentary The King of Kong about video game champs in the 80s, who decades later re-match. The character even bears a slight resemblance to the doc's antagonist Billy Mitchell. I loved that doc and at one point a few years later I filmed some footage at an arcade competition for a pilot that was being developed that was similar to King of Kong's premise. I loved that this character is equal parts King of Kong and also Mickey Rourke's character in The Wrestler, another character who's best days were in the 80s and is struggling now. (2) There is a message in this that being creative and imaginative is a good thing and not something one should be ashamed of. I love that message and it might seem like it's an easy message to make, but especially for kids it should be shouted out loud! Also - the soundtrack was good and featuring Jack Black singing as well as Mark Ronson on Bass, Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl on drums, Queen of the Stone Age’s Troy Van Leeuwen on guitar and Roger Manning on synthesizer. The instrumental score is from the always-reliable Mark Mothersbaugh. All this is to say, it wasn't nearly as good as Super Mario Bros., which wasn't even that great BUT in terms of video game adaptations it's like Citizen Kane, but it definitely was better than expected.

For info on A Minecraft Movie

3 out of 5 stars

[roseonthewindow]

oh so its still a little hornets nest, well lets just leave this here for you to mull over.

So I should probably explain this as it goes into backstage stuff that happened with Ever After High and Monster High as well as their Creator and the License contract as well as predatory practices of Hollywood. Recently in the every after high community there is a little blowback and forth about two characters possibly being Bisexual, if this was genuine there would be no issue however there is a sever lack of sincerity to the statement BECASE it is coming from someone with a invested interest in the show being "rebooted." This is bad because it goes into Investors having too much influence because they can throw their money around and is paired with the warning "The Whales are not your friends." Again if this was a genuine thing there would be no issue but the fact is as follows.

1.) Big pocket investors with DEI demands form Netflix pressured the original creator to leave Monster High and Ever After High under shady circumstances. There is a supposed active NDA preventing much information that can be questioned regarding this along with a non compete preventing the creator form making deals with other studios. As a result a Crossover featuring the character Astronova was canceled after being green lit. This in result tanked the value of the franchise some and is why some of the people involved with the "Ever After High and Monster High takeover" are now fussing on X about the killing of Noncompete in the US.

2.) A polar rumor says this was to prevent the franchises form being more successful than Barbie, a different one says it was related to false allegations that were spread at the time. The allegations in question were snuffed out due to the creator being a hermit and not sharing work and off work affairs so no one knew much about their life outside the studio. The most likely one is the old fashion big corpo wanted to Steal it. With the former having evidence in droves that Mattel wanted to stop it from being more poplar than their Flagship doll IP "Barbie." With their dirty fingers' in it Mattel could make sure the IP never outshined Barbie. (Yes this at the time was a conflict of interest as Barbie waning polarity and the corporation wanting fresh dolls to reinvigorate the market just letting this guy cook could have given them a New Flagship doll) You ready to get ticked off yet; The biggest reason the series was canceled was Netflicx and Mattel were pressuring DEI checklist that was exceptionally unreasonable on the creator. The Creator refused because it would ruin the Franchise and its message that was not rooted in Superficial traits (reference the entire Hood family form Ever After High or "Monster High: Ghouls Rule!" movie plot)

See the creator was against basing peoples Value on superficial traits and put that heavily into the lesion on the cartoon. Form the main plot of ever After High to even the light subplot of Monster High. Since thesis directly questioned the motives at the time of big investors like Blackrock and Vanguard who were Willing drop HUGE sums of money on anything that pushed a political message that contradicted the whole belief of the creator. The license holders ABUSED loopholes in the contract to push the creator out of their own IP and than went to a NDA and noncompete to silence and stop the creator form going elsewhere.

Given noncompete are now going out we may actually see a series on somewhere like tubi by Garrett Sander who hopefully by now managed to get out form the predatory Mattel contracts so he could have full creative freedoms and not just in making dolls and toys but his cartoons as well. He did a good job with Ever After High and Monster High thou the newer versos of the later are pure garbage in comparison.

[theythatsayohmystars]

i had a dream a couple days ago where in minecraft movie two garrett was canonically pan (and so was henry for some reason, which is sort of odd because i don’t headcanon them as that) and steve was gay. they went around with giant pink and blue signs and stood up against anyone who hated on brokenpickaxe 😭😭