#go femme or go home right

[sushiisiu]

yuri scollace

[bunnyboy-juice]

biiiiiiiig stretch

[yameoto]

butch pussy + femme cock = using you

tw; free-use, somno, cnc, morning sex, butchpussy (vi) femmecock (cait), implied bratty!reader. wc; 1.2k

vi and caitlyn linger at the doorway, to your shared bedroom. patrols are a bitch—and it is not always that they can get home, early. it's never been a problem exactly. except—

“ah..” vi’s mouth waters.

dawn crawls on the horizon. its heralding light seeps in through gossamer curtains, spilling out to bask your sleeping form in an unmitigated glow. your very nude, sleeping form. as if teasing them—you let out the most adorable yawn, in the midst of sleep. your leg curls upwards, covers slipping off.

caitlyn swallows, hard.

the two of them are immediately seized with an irrational jealousy for being so robbed from witnessing you, like this. “since when does she sleep naked?” “suppose it’s hot nowadays.” caitlyn answers airly, as if her nails aren't digging into the heel of her palm and the tent in her trousers' isn't stiffening. urgently. since when did she have the libido of a teenage boy? vi elbows her, voice teasing—if not equally as hoarse. “cupcake. you’re packing.”

"like you're not thinking the same." caitlyn scoffs, and vi can't argue with that. she is thinking the same. if the same, is the idea of hovering over your blissfully relaxed figure, splayed out on the bedspread. tearing off her pants and—

“..perhaps, we could.. indulge.”

“oh, baby. you read my mind.”

you wake, to a burning in your lungs, and your cunt. there's a stuffy headiness enveloping your head, something hot and wet and slippery pressing up against your chin. you open your mouth, only half-consciously, when your tongue meets salt and your eyelids flicker open in sleepy befuddlement. heat, and muscular thighs clamp down on either side of your head. a rough hand twists in your hair.

vi jerks you tongue-first into her cunt. your, whatthefuckisgoingon??? comes out more like; "mmrmgh?”

"poor baby. can't breathe, huh?" vi only shoves you deeper up the wedge of her thighs, your nose burrowed into the curls of her hot-pink bush and mouth at her sopping pussy. "oh, right there, princess."

she hisses, wresting you by the hair and rubbing her slickened folds against your face. your hands are scrambling at the mattress, each and every attempt at speech muffled by the squeezing of vi's legs. she pants in pleasure, as you pant in need, into her pussy—choked out by the sheer force of which vi's thighs are coiled around your head. she eases up, just enough for you to wriggle your mouth to gasp for air, and release a breathy, plaintive whine—eyes sleep-glazed and blinking hard, trying to get your bearings. c'mon, now—get with it; you're being suffocated by your girlfriend's pussy. not four AM on a workday and your chin is coated with slick. vi lets out a petulantly dissatisfied noise when you're gulping air for too long—shoving your head back down with a low growl. "don't—hah—you fuckin' stop."

you're so preoccupied with trying to breathe, head spinning, cogs whirring at a slow, slow pace as it attempts to process the fact you're gasping into your girlfriend's pussy; you almost don't realise the burning in your belly has rescinded to a low simmer. mistake.

"don't tell me you forgot about me, darling." like caitlyn can sense your distraction, there is a blinding jolt of lightning that crackles through your body as she gives you an idle jerk. something twitches, and you realise, belatedly, there is a cock inside of you. you tense up, and your walls clench. caitlyn's moan is dizzying.

"ah—ah.. fuck, sweetheart. you feel almost as good as you did, before."

vi presses up flush against your face, groaning as she rocks, grinding picking up the pace. of course, the tighter she holds, the less you can breathe, and your limbs jerk, fingers fisting into the sheets.

"stop squirming. you're only going to make it worse." caitlyn's pace is leisurely, manicured nails pinching either side of your hips. she rolls her hips forward, teeth biting down at her bottom lip. "it's a shame. you made such a good cocksleeve. all relaxed. pliant." 

it feels wrong to hear words so vulgar rolling off her silken tongue, so casually, so early-in-the-fucking-morning, as if you haven't heard filthier come out of her mouth. the shock of it is wearing, giving way to the blazing warmth that so throbs in your pussy that you can't believe you hadn't noticed. though perhaps, that was the whole point.

"you didn't expect me to wait my turn, did you?" oh, caitlyn is definitely smirking. you can hear the smug undercurrent in her voice; even if you can't see a thing, other than the swollen nub of vi's clit and the hastily-cut bristles of her bush as she gets off, chest rising and falling in shallowing breaths. caitlyn, however, is still only working in idle, languid pumps. like she's savouring your sleep-ridden compliancy; how you are, for once, thoroughly silenced by the clench of vi's pussy and vice of her thighs.

"you—mm—do look pretty when you shut up." vi gasps out, and you can feel her cunt pulsing around you, you want to whine, grumble, protest—anything—but the press of your lips only spurs her on, the hand in your hair yanking you deeper. vi's breaths stutter, tensing. "..shit." vi cums, her weight on your chest shifting, smushing you against the mattress as she squirts, right down your throat. caitlyn barely moves, content to, apparently, continue using you as her personal cocksleeve as vi humps out her orgasm against your face, milky fluid and your own saliva—from having nowhere to go—completely immersed in heat. caitlyn's thrusts are lazy, and vi's grinding vigorous. your chest is tight, thoughts almost nothing in your light-headedness, mindlessly gaping open and simply taking it.

the second vi collapses, thighs finally, finally lifting off your shoulders—caitlyn rams her cock into you. no longer muffled by vi's cunt (though, her cum still dribbling out from your lips), you cry out. you really can't catch a break, can you?

"shh." caitlyn commands, and now, you can see her eyes flicker up at you in annoyance, though beneath the gaze—gleams amusement. she slides herself in, deep, and your own hips rise in instinctive reaction, whimpering, lungs all used up.

you manage to do as caitlyn says, and shut up, chests heaving as you needily gulp in the mercy of fresh air. vi's large hands skim your bare chest, circling your nipples, thumb swiping underneath your breasts. "easy," she husks, voice gravelly, as if you have the energy to go anything but. or perhaps, she's talking to caitlyn. you can't tell, because caitlyn is certainly not going easy—and you are paying the price. in fact, she's begun to jam her hips with vicious force, pace vigorous—pulling out, ever-so-slow, before plunging back in again. there is no longer any restraint; as if she has held herself back, enough, and deserves this. to plow your pussy and drink in each and every broken gasp it elicits.

she thrusts, particularly brutal. you gasp—throat raw—and you unspool all over her cock, body betraying you. caitlyn's pupils dilate, just like that, at the sight of your cum oozing out in thick, creamy bursts around her base, with each slam of her body—has her head falling back, throat baring. her hips falter, before she drives inside you, harsh and hard—one last time—and paints your insides sticky.

[sevsgiirl]

hi! can you write sevika with a shy virgin femme reader? i think they would be cute!

— carve your name into my bedpost.

sevika week 2025: first time, day 2.

synopsis: after nearly a year, you were still wary about disclosing your lack of sexual experience with sevika in fear of disappointment. but she doesn’t mind. plus first time for everything right?

word count: 3k.

tags: soft dom!sevika, sub!reader, loss of virginity, choking, strap-ons referred to as cock, oral sex.

note: thank you so much for the req, anon! luckily your req matched the prompt for day 2 of sevika week so I just had to use it. you were probably expecting something more cute and wholesome and this might’ve deviated from that a little bit 😅 nevertheless, I hope you like it!

you never wanted to keep secrets from her.

you knew damn good and well it wouldn’t take long before sevika found out your dirty little secret - mostly because you didn’t do that great of a job at hiding it anyways.

in hindsight, you can see why she would think you had an aversion to her at this point. with you constantly dodging moments where you felt like things were becoming a bit too heated, pulling away just in time when you felt like the kisses grew hot and heavy - all of that just to avoid the one thing you felt like you weren’t ready for.

losing your virginity.

it seemed like such a silly thing to fuss over but it means a lot to you. you weren’t the type to wait until marriage but it tethered the line of something similar - you yearned for a connection before you even thought of getting to that stage with someone.

but it’s close to almost a year since you and sevika got together, and you’re actually surprised sevika was so patient in holding off sex with you until she knew you were ready.it’s a well known fact that between the two of you, sevika was always the more experienced one - from the age all the way to the day she approached you like she had nothing to lose, sevika maneuvered through your entire relationship like it was familiar to her right from the very beginning.

unlike you, you’ve always been squeamish. about everything. you were non confrontational when it came to others and you had a more calm and collected way of handling matters in your life compared to sevika who was always more straightforward.

and you liked it because it balanced the two of you out. she was never impatient with you, she took her time in figuring out the inner workings of your mind and behavior.

it was in those moments of consideration and patience that you realized that damn, she was the one. because it wasn’t often you came across partners who were as tolerant as her, who in spite of your clumsiness and indecisiveness, she was always understanding.

that’s why when your one year anniversary neared, you debated over the idea many times before you came to the conclusion that if you were going to lose your virginity to someone - it was going to be her.

it was nerve wracking because not only was it your first time being intimate with sevika, it was your first time being intimate with anyone. ever.

you weren’t as skilled or knowledgeable with sex as sevika so of course, it was only understandable to be scared that you might fuck things up the first time.

but it was either now or never, because you knew if you keep pending it off god knows it’ll take until your next anniversary before you bring it up again, and although you don’t doubt sevika would be willing to wait for you, deep down you knew you were going to crack regardless.

so when the time came and sevika took you to a nice picnic date where she showered you with great food and gifts, the moment you two came home you immediately stopped by the doorway and squeezed her hand tightly.

she paused in her tracks and looked back at you, her height imposing as she towered over your smaller frame and god, you never realized just how intimidating she was up until this moment.

she was all hard muscle and sharp edges, you don’t blame others for doubting that underneath her hardened exterior laid a provider and protector - someone who constantly looked out and cared for you.

“something wrong, baby?” she asked softly, stepping into your space as she pinched your chin in between her fingers and tilted your head so you could look at her directly.

making you even more nervous because it felt like she was putting you on the spot.

“I-I’ve… been thinking.” you stuttered out as she continued to stare you down “I think it’s time.”

she didn’t quite get it at first, but it wasn’t until you lifted your hand and put it against her toned stomach, that everything suddenly clicked inside her head.

she blinked “are you sure?”

you couldn’t suppress your smile seeing as how that even after a whole year together, she was still willing to let you take your time and see if you actually wanted this.

“I’m sure,” you sighed, looking down at your feet “it’s just… I don’t wanna disappoint,”

“baby, you know that’s impossible. we’ve been together long enough and it’s not like we haven’t already been familiar with each other’s-“

“it’s not-“ you let out a shaky chuckle “just that. sev, I never really told you this but… I haven’t done it with anyone. like ever.”

she froze by the threshold of your apartment and looked at you, dumbfounded. processing your words just for a moment before her eyes softened and she reached out, cupping your face in her calloused palm as she nudged her nose with yours. an affectionate gesture, one that soothed your nerves in an instant.

“no wonder it took you a while. I just thought maybe you weren’t sure about me at first,” she admitted and you immediately shook your head.

“trust me, I’ve never been more sure about doing it with anyone more than I am with you. you…” you paused to gaze into her eyes, feeling your heart clench at the way she was looking at you like you hung the stars “you make me feel so safe, sev.”

she could’ve crumbled right here and there. she might never say it outright like how you just did but the truth of the matter is, no one has ever left this much of an impact on her not until you came along.

before you, she was used to meaningless flings and hookups - dropping by at the gardens to fulfill her needs with any of the girls there because for the longest time, she thought commitment wasn’t for her.

then you proved her wrong.

so you could only imagine she wanted this to be special for you, but also from the deepest pits of her subconscious lingered a thought - one she was too ashamed to confess but the truth is, your inexperience turned her on more than anything.

perhaps it was the juxtaposition between you two. whereas sex was almost like second nature to her - for you it was a foreign language, but sevika savored the thought of being the one to take your virginity. of being the one to set the standard.

because if there was one thing she was certain about - not only was she going to be your first, but she was also going to be your goddamn last.

𐙚˙⋆.˚

fidgeting on the edge of your bed, you were like a leaf in the wind.

sevika could sense your nerves already. she told you to wait for her in your shared bedroom as she got herself ready.

you were still clad in your underwear and an oversized shirt. having taken your makeup off from the date earlier, you waited for sevika to emerge from the bathroom - your knees bouncing and your palms sweaty.

by the time you heard the door creak open however, the whole atmosphere froze as sevika stepped out and your whole mouth went dry.

because there she was, in nothing but her tight boxers that accentuated her thick, muscular thighs while she was left bare everywhere else.

you eyed her from head to toe - she’d taken off her prosthetic and you focused on her right arm as she flexed her bicep. her toned abs were on display as well as her visible V line that led your gaze down to her crotch where you noticed a happy trail peeking out from beneath her briefs.

you felt like a pervert.

your cheeks reddened as she walked closer to where you sat on the bed, trapping your legs together with her own as you clenched your thighs and she couldn’t help but smirk at how visibly nervous you were.

“relax for me, baby.” she purred, caressing your cheek before she pulled away to approach the dresser.

she rummaged through the insides for a bit and you tried to take a peek at what she was looking for, but all your curiosity died down the second you saw it.

a pool of heat suddenly flooded your insides the second you caught sight of the harness she had in her hand, as well as the girthy, long black dildo that was attached to it as she walked back to you.

she stopped in front of you with her eyebrow raised “you know what this is?” she asked and you were silent for a bit before you sheepishly nodded your head.

her eyes glinted mischievously “good,” she thrusted the strap to your open hands.

“because I’m gonna fuck you with it.”

your entire body grew hot as soon as those words left her mouth “is that alright with you?” again, you nodded your head, a little bit too eagerly and she could only chuckle.

“okay, now help me put it on. then we’ll prep you.” she said and you quickly got out of your daze as you helped her.

once it was on, the harness was snug tightly around her hips while the faux cock bobbed up and down the air.

you gulped, eyes wide and sevika was quick to ease your worries “don’t worry, we’ll take things slow.” she said as she bent down to give you a kiss.

it was warm, soothing but quick before she straightened her posture, hands finding purchase at the back of your head as she guided your mouth to her cock.

“open up for me, sweetheart.”

it was less of a request and more so a demand, nevertheless you parted your lips willingly and took her in your mouth inch by inch. meanwhile she made sure you didn’t go too fast as to not gag right away.

“shhh, that’s it. take it easy,” she muttered, licking her lips as she took in the sight of you struggling to swallow her cock “ease your jaw a bit, and relax your tongue. you don’t need to go all the way.”

you looked up at her with teary eyes and followed her instructions as sevika gently pressed her hand at the nape of your neck.

helping you as you slid your lips up and down her shaft while the obscene, wet sounds of your mouth swallowing her dick filled the room.

meanwhile, her breathing grew heavy as she lets out a groan “fuck, baby. you take my cock so well. so fucking good for me.”

she abruptly but gently pulled you away and you couldn’t help the whine that slipped out of you, making her chuckle.

“don’t worry, we’re just getting started. you were doing so good already though, weren’t you?” she cooed, wiping away a stray tear from your eye “now lay down for me, beautiful.”

and as you were about to follow her orders she suddenly stopped you “lose the shirt.”

you obliged, taking it off to reveal you with nothing but your underwear and no bra on. her eyes darkened as she reached forward and took one of your breast in her hand, kneading it before she carefully pushed at your collarbone as your back hit the mattress.

she kneeled in front of you and parted your knees, her hand sliding one side of your underwear down for you as you helped her pull down the other.

she lets out a curse once she saw your glistening folds “jesus,” she was dumbstruck, her eyes nearly obsidian “all this just from sucking my cock?“

you squirmed and instinctively tried to close your legs, but she pinned them down “I don’t think so.” her fingers glided along your inners thighs as she drew her head closer, her breath fanning against your clenching hole and you shuddered.

words couldn’t even describe the sensation when her tongue did a languid swipe at your needy cunt, your back immediately arching off the bed as sevika did her best to anchor you down with one arm. her eyes gazing up at you like a predator watching its prey before it decided to devour it whole.

and devour you whole she did, because one moment she was soft and gentle with the way she licked across your puffy walls then all of a sudden she took your clit in between her lips and sucked. hard.

you yelped because the feeling was just too intense. you’ve touched yourself before on multiple occasions but nothing could’ve compared to the real thing. laying down as your lover spread you open and savored every inch of you.

not to mention the sounds. the way she slurped at your cunt like it was the finest of delicacies while she moaned, the vibrations shooting straight up your spine as you jolted.

“fuck, fuck, fuck. sevika…” you cried as she added in a finger, pushing it in and out of you before adding another - scissoring them back and forth inside you as she curled them at the right angle that had you seeing stars for a moment “oh my god!”

you poured into her all sticky and warm, your slick dripping off her chin and she hummed, wringing your orgasm out of you.

“god, you take me so fucking well, baby.” she crawled up on top of you and kissed you like she was starving for it. the taste of your cum still fresh on the ends of her tongue.

“I think you’re ready now,” she claimed “if it gets too much you tell me, okay? we’ll stop right away. push me away if you have to.”

you shook your head “I’m fine, j-just… fuck me, please.”

she didn’t need to be told twice, with how desperate you sounded and the way your body responded to her, she was a lost cause.

before you knew it, she was guiding the tip of her cock and sliding it back and forth along your pussy lips, sinking into you little by little and you immediately held onto her shoulders for stability. feeling so deliciously full as you began grinding your hips onto hers, seeking friction.

“w-we’ll take it slow.” she said but even she wasn’t sure how long that was going to last, especially with how you looked up at her - all blissed out and opened mouthed.

stroking her cock in a careful back and forth before she bottomed out, punching a broken moan out of you as you felt the ridges of her cock massage your inner walls.

“it feels so good, sev. oh my god. so fucking good, baby. I love your cock.” you were practically slurring your words at this point and sevika had to physically restrain herself from driving herself into you with vigor.

this was your first time and she didn’t want to overwhelm you, but all of that simply got thrown out the window when she felt you dig your claws into her back, pulling her in.

“faster, sev. please.”

she shook her head, keeping her strokes steady and slow “b-baby, I don’t-“

“p-please. fuck me harder. I wont break, I-I need it so bad, sev. please.”

just like that, it was like a light switch was turned on. one moment her pace was deliberate and careful then the next, she was slamming into you that the head board smacked repeatedly against the wall.

not being able to contain the growl that rumbled from the depths of her chest as your pathetic whines filled her ears.

pounding her cock into you with such fervor that you could instantly feel your second orgasm bubbling beneath the surface.

“I’m gonna cum, sev. I’m gonna cum, baby, oh my g-god!-“

“that’s it,” she whispered, reaching out as she wrapped her hand around your throat and squeezed. not too tight but just enough to get your mind fuzzy “be a good girl and cum for me. you’re so fucking good.”

beads of sweat slid down her forehead as she continued to drive into you.

“you’re so perfect, baby.” she whispered “never gonna let you go. I’m gonna be the only one who gets to fuck you like this, you hear me?”

your mind was practically blank as you only managed to nod your head in response.

she was panting heavily as she watched you approach the brink of your climax “good girl. I’m your first and last. nobody else.“

and that was the final nail to the coffin. with the band in your stomach instantly snapping, your slick poured out of you. abundant and wet as you cried into the crook of sevika’s neck due to the overstimulation.

“holy shit…” sevika muttered in disbelief seeing the way you squirted all over her.

it took about a minute or two before your pleasure finally subsided. your body deflating as she took you in her arms and pulled out.

the emptiness making you whine but she was quick to soothe it away as she captured your lips with her own. her tongue meeting yours in a passionate kiss as she held you against her you like you were made out of porcelain.

eventually, you had to pull away for air and once you did, she stood up and took the harness off her hips. heading to the bathroom meanwhile you were left in bed with your eyes shut, content.

you heard the faucet running and you felt exhaustion overcome you not until you felt a wet sensation around your inner thighs.

opening your eyes to see sevika cleaning you up with a damp wash cloth, and once she felt your gaze on her she all but smiled.

“I hope it was good for your first time,” she said and you couldn’t help but snort.

“good?” you repeated with a shake of your head “what we just did made me realize that I’m either marrying you or killing you because I don’t think sex with any other person is ever going to top… that.”

she couldn’t help it as she lets out a roar of laughter, making you smile.

“sadly you’re not going anywhere,” you said to which she could only chuckle at.

“yeah well,” she grinned, squeezing your hip affectionately “I don’t think I would want to either. I like it right here.”

[cowboy-heart]

'BUTCH MANIFESTO'

inspired by 'FEMME SHARK MANIFESTO' by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

(ID under cut)

Ko-Fi (Commissions Open!)

[ID: an original poem titled 'BUTCH MANIFESTO'. the stanzas are all on the left side of the page and lineated, except for the first line, and last stanza. Poem begins:

Listen up! Butches hold it down! We don’t spend hundreds of pounds on designer clothes and black and white tuxes – we shop off the charity shop rack, hand-me-downs from our bois, our men, our women. Butch is not a glamour word - Butch is not for the white collars in their 9-5 and their office parties, Butch is not for the woman in a police uniform with short cropped hair, Butch is not for the masc who looks down on our femmes, Butch is not for the dumbass white people who call themselves stud, like our people haven’t taken enough from black lesbians, Butch is not for the politician or the soldier, it’s for those of us who get shit done and don’t throw anyone under the bus; who stand between our loved ones and the white-knuckled fist; it’s for the people who take a breath of relief when they get home and get to lay their head on the shoulder of their baby and say, it’s hard, and I need you right now; it’s for those of us with hard-soled feet, worn by hours of standing, just so people can buy some useless shit on a Sunday. Butch is for the primary school teachers, the neighbour keeping your package safe, the hairstylist, the barber, the youth worker, the locked up, the sectioned, the evicted, the boy on the dole. Butches hold each other up, Butches stand up for communities, no matter how different we might be.

Butches stand up for Butches, because only we know the shit we face, we don’t argue over what butch looks like for someone - their struggle doesn’t counteract ours. We’re brothers, sisters, siblings, lovers, mentors, we don’t fight over femmes or fight each other. We help up our siblings who can’t hold themselves up and shouldn’t have to.

Butch is recognising our hurt, our pain, and making sure nobody has to go through that, in the very least not alone. Butch is not reproducing that hurt, butch isn’t the transfem exclusion, the toxicity, it’s driving our girls and boys to the abortion clinic, it’s holding your femme’s hair back over the toilet bowl, it’s telling your darlin’ to take a deep breath, before you poke the needle into her thigh, it’s holding back on punching the catcaller because you know it’ll put your lover in more danger, it’s fishing in your closet for an old, dusty dress for your questioning girl, it’s never calling the cops, it’s carrying the Narcan, it’s gathering the funds for bail, it’s tipping the waiter, it’s kissing the bruised chin of a fellow butch who’s built like a brick shithouse.

Butch is not all muscle, able-bodied, white Butch is not all skinny and androgynous Butch is care Butch is NURTURE. Butch is a cane and an unsteady step Butch is putting down the ramp Butch is wheeling up it Butch is addict Butch is straight-edge Butch is diaspora Butch is desi Butch is antiracist Butch is socialist Butch is punk Butch is black Butch is brown Butch is fat Butch is fat-loving Butch is mental illness Butch is antipsych Butch is autism Butch is trans Butch is anger Butch is tears Butch is grief Butch is the old bull Butch is the closeted kid in a dress Butch is the baby dyke wearing a rainbow flag cape Butch is smile lines Butch is crinkled eyes Butch is crying in your friend’s beat-up car Butch is foetal position Butch is pink Butch is motherhood Butch is fatherhood Butch is cat-dad Butch is fucking Butch is getting fucked Butch is stone Butch is bashful Butch is humble Butch is cocky Butch is proud Butch is single Butch is uneducated Butch is poet Butch is poetry Butch is council estate Butch is gentleness Butch is bones and spit and the soft curve of our lower backs the clenched jaw under a double chin the hard-eyes that any femme can see right through the estradiol the testosterone the carabiner clink the thick hands the cellulite the bloody pads the tampon string the mood swings the sagging tits the top surgery scars the swinging cock the hairy pussy the protruding t-dick the leather harness.

Butch is eternity Butch is sewn into the fabric of atoms Butch is love and solidarity Butch is never leaving anyone behind and never selling anyone out.

End poem. In the bottom right corner, the poet is signed as 'Ren H.' End ID].

[dandelionsresilience]

Just in case Trump wins:

right after Trump was elected in 2016, suicidality skyrocketed. If you’re considering suicide in the wake of the election this year, at least wait until after it’s absolutely certain that he’s won - after every vote has been counted, every state certified, and maybe even after he’s been sworn in (IF he wins), just to make sure he doesn’t go to prison instead. Watch the results come in live here, but don’t obsess or let them sway your vote. (To be clear, I don’t want a single person to commit suicide over the election results, no matter what. But I know from experience that “don’t do it” is thoroughly unhelpful, so instead I’m saying at least wait.)

if you’re considering suicide because you fear worsening material conditions, you might think a hotline can’t help with that. and it’s true that they can’t change legislation or promise you’ll be safe. but it’s worth double checking whether what you’re actually hurting from is in fact unfixable. right now, just getting through the emotions can help you regain a more objective view of the situation, and then you can work on surviving it. plus, when something bad happens, we tend to vastly overestimate how bad it will seem in the future, no matter how bad it actually is.

In my experience, it might take a few tries before you find a hotline that picks up, either because they’re so busy, or they’re closed at that time, or they simply don’t serve your location or demographic, so under the thingy I’ve listed more than just the same handful that tend to show up on other websites. Even if you’re not actively suicidal, you can talk to them about your hard feelings, ask for material resources, or just vent to a compassionate listener.

FIND HELP

HopeLine - call/text: 877-235-4525

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - call/text: 988 | chat

Crisis Text Line - text HOME to 741741 | chat

help getting out of the military

for underrepresented adults:

Thrive Lifeline - text THRIVE to 313-662-8209

for pre-teens, teens, and young adults:

Your Life Your Voice - call: 800-488-3000 | text VOICE to 20121 | email

for teens (limited hours):

Teen Line - call: 800-852-8336 | text TEEN to 839863 | email

for trans and questioning people:

Trans Lifeline - call: 1-877-565-8860

for people with substance dependency:

Never Use Alone Overdose Prevention Hotline - call: 877-696-1996

for BIPOC (“with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens”):

BlackLine - call: 1-800-604-5841

for college students of colour:

The Steve Fund Crisis Text Line - text STEVE to 741741

for LGBTQ+ young people:

The Trevor Project - call: 1-866-488-7386 | text START to 678678 | chat

for homeless or runaway youth:

National Runaway Safeline - call/text: 1-800-786-2929 | (has chat and email, but I think the link includes tracking)

for Muslim youth (limited hours):

Naseeha Youth Hotline - call: 1-866-627-3342

Amala Hopeline - call: 1-855-952-6252

for Jewish queer youth (warmline, may take up to 24 hours to reply):

JQY Warmline - call/text: 551-579-4673

for veterans:

Veterans Crisis Line - call: 988, option 1 | text: 838255 | chat

for veterans and their families:

Lifeline for Vets - call: 888-777-4443

for pregnant people:

Crisis Pregnancy Hotline - call: 888-628-3353 | text: 714-448-8323

for parents unsure of their ability to care for a newborn:

National Safe Haven Alliance - call: 888-510-2229 | text SAFEHAVEN to 313131

International Council for Helplines Member Organisations

Warmlines - for emotional support, if you just need to talk; a lower level of support than crisis hotlines

NAMI Helpline directory

Key warmline directory (unclear if 317-550-0060 might also be a warmline, I haven’t tried it)

Wildflower Alliance Peer Support Line (limited hours) - call: 888-407-4515

[makingqueerhistory]

“It’s not about self-care—it’s about collective care. Collective care means shifting our organizations to be ones where people feel fine if they get sick, cry, have needs, start late because the bus broke down, move slower, ones where there’s food at meetings, people work from home—and these aren’t things we apologize for. It is the way we do the work, which centers disabled-femme-of-color ways of being in the world, where many of us have often worked from our sickbeds, our kid beds, or our too-crazy-to-go-out-today beds. Where we actually care for each other and don’t leave each other behind. Which is what we started with, right?” ― Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice (Affiliate link)

[archangeldyke-all]

Isha walking into reader and sevikas room to sleep because jinx kept on pushing her off the bed :,(

(also I love the stuff you write and I hope your having a good day/noon/night!)

aweeeeeee (also tysm!! i'm slugging thru my period but i'm feeling better this evening hehe!)

men and minors dni

around midnight, you wander into the living room to find jinx taking apart your coffee maker. you rub your eyes, pull the blankets over sleeping isha's shoulders, before pouring a glass of juice and placing it beside jinx's workspace.

"can't sleep?" you ask, sitting beside her and ruffling her bangs. jinx shrugs.

"your coffee maker kept drippin', couldn't sleep with it." she mumbles, taking a slurp off her juice, her eyes studying the parts scattered on your dining table.

"y'know if you're bored... sevika's got a big ol' stash of comic books in the storage closet. classic oldies from when we were kids-- 'sharkshooter', 'janna's ravens',--"

"does she have any 'sparkgirls'? she asks, an excited glimmer in her eye. you grin.

"that was her favorite. go ahead, just don't rip any of the pages. these're her babies." you chuckle, pulling open the closet and letting jinx clamor over to you. you give her a quick kiss then wander back to the bedroom, ruffling isha's hair as you pass her on the couch.

"y'okay?" sevika mumbles as you crawl back into bed beside her. you giggle and kiss her cheek.

"just checkin' on jinx 'n the kid."

"mmm." sevika mumbles, flipping over to bury her face against your tits. "love you."

her snores quickly lull you back to bed.

you wake up a few hours later to sevika jumping awake beside you.

"'s wrong?" you mumble.

"i don't-- there's something-- isha?!" sevika asks, throwing the blankets back and flicking a lamp on.

a big pair of gold eyes blink up at the pair of you.

"s-sorry ms. vika. i go' cold without ms. jinx on the couch wi' me."

you burst into giggles, cooing down at the baby in your bed and laying back down against the mattress. isha curls up against your side. "come back to bed, sev." you say, rolling your eyes at your gawking girlfriend.

"she's in my spot!" sevika sputters, pointing at where isha's curled up on your chest. you chuckle and make grabby hands for her.

"c'mon, w'ere cold! right isha?" you ask. the kid giggles and nods, mimicking your own grabby hands.

sevika snorts an exhausted laugh, crawling back into bed beside you two, pulling the covers up and flicking the light out.

when isha's little snores start up sevika reaches over the bed to poke you. "you realize this means we gotta put a lock on the door for when we wanna fuck, now, right?" she asks.

you fall asleep laughing, reaching across the mattress to weave your fingers between sevika's.

when you finally wake up in the morning, jinx has joined your cuddle pile, curled up at the foot of the bed like a dog, one of sevika's comics clutched to her chest as she snores.

isha's laying directly on top of sevika, and sevika's got one arm curled around the girl, the other reaching out to hold your own hand.

she blinks awake when you press a kiss to her forehead, groaning when she realizes how many guests have joined your bed. you chuckle.

"you're the one who dragged 'em both home." you remind her.

"we need to find a bigger fuckin' house." she mumbles.

"or at least a bigger bed." you giggle.

sevika glances over at you, and all the annoyance and frustration melt away the second her eyes meet yours. "they're lucky i got you, y'know. no fuckin' way i'd let two kids crash the bachlorette pad i had before i met you."

"y'mean you weren't softened up enough yet?" you tease.

sevika grins and shrugs. "somethin' like that."

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @lavandasz

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

[celestiaras]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ backstage bliss ]❜

━━━ .°˖✧ requested by anonymous ˚₊ ⊹

ft. mira x f! reader — kpop demon hunters

╰₊✧ mira wants to thank you for all of your hard work and make up for the stress she’s caused you before the show ┊1.2k words

contains: smut!! dom mira & sub reader┊backstage sex, receiving oral, established secret relationship

➤ author's note: she’s so hot omfg i love stone top femmes 

“come on, bobby! they’re going to show up soon, they always do, even if it’s last minute— stop stressing out so much, you’re going to start balding at this rate!”

despite your attempt at assuring him, you were starting to fear for your own hair at this rate. the fans were calling out for their idols, waving around their lightsticks, and becoming increasingly impatient by the second as the trio were late by a whopping four minutes. you would hate to disappoint them by sending them home without the wonderful experience of a huntrix concert, and you would hate even more to do all of the tedious work to ensure that everyone in the venue got their money back as well as a small piece of merch to make up for their troubles. your superior was calling them frantically to ask where the hell they were, and you were just mentally preparing yourself to step out and break the bad news to them.

just then, as if they were angels answering your prayers, they all fell from the skies like shooting stars and crashed onto the stage in an elegant manner, jumping straight into the performance seamlessly and saving the day. you would say you didn’t doubt them for a moment because you certainly did, but you felt like you were going to faint from relief. 

of course, you couldn’t just yet because you wanted to see your lovely girlfriend moving along to the music being blasted out of the speakers, dancing like it’s what she was born to do and all she ever wanted to do. you couldn’t let yourself show too much of your admiration and attract attention to your clear romantic adoration for her though, trying your best to hide the dopey smile that would overcome you whenever you stared for too long, but god, you couldn’t believe that she was all yours just as you were entirely hers. 

“i’m so sorry for worrying you, babe,” mira yelled out once the two of you were alone, running up behind you and almost knocking you over in an embrace. “i still can’t believe we fell for that, it’s like the demons are getting smarter or something…”

“you need to be more careful!” you scolded. “i don’t want anything bad to happen to you!” you remember when you used to be concerned for her when you first learned about her demon hunting secret, and while you had full faith in her skills now, the last part of her statement was starting to make you feel stressed out for her safety again.

“oh, don’t get your panties in a twist, we kicked their asses in less than five minutes,” she teased. “you really need to relax.”

“well, it’s difficult to relax when i have an idol girlfriend who’s constantly late to all of her events because she’s busy fighting creatures from the underworld!”

“hm… you’re right about that, i should probably make it up to you and help you destress…”

you felt your face get hot at the mischievous tone lacing her voice as her fingers fiddled with the hem of your skirt, “here? what if we get caught?”

“there’s no one here! come on now, i can tell you really need to blow off some steam. it’ll be fine, i promise.”

“okay… but you have to promise to be careful!”

“oh please, i’m nothing if not careful,” she snickered, pushing you to sit down on top of one of the speakers, and parting your thighs with your hands before hooking her fingers into your underwear and pulling it down to expose your lovely pussy to her awaiting brown eyes.

mira brought her face closer to your heat and wasted no time in dipping her tongue in, licking long, broad strokes against your folds and humming in delight at the taste of your sweetness. she watches you through her half-lidded lashes, drinking in your gorgeous facial expressions contorting in pleasure as she flicks the tip of her sharp tongue against your clit. “you’re so fucking pretty when you’re getting eaten out,” she cooed. she swears that the sight of you with your head thrown back and your mouth open in that adorable ‘o’ shape alone is enough to add five years to her lifespan each time, and she wants to see every single day for the rest of your lives together. 

“fuckkkk, miraa,” you whined as your fingers found their way tangled with her pink locks, subconsciously pushing her closer to your heat, something you didn’t even think was possible. 

she pressed her thumb against your weeping hole, tracing the outline and admiring how it twitched in need to be filled by her, “god, you’re so needy…”

“you were the one who wanted to do this,” you huffed, “i think that makes you the—”she cut you off by diving back in, eagerly lapping up your arousal seeping through, and turning your words into moans before you could finish. 

she loses her mind when she’s on her knees for you like this, slurping up that little piece of heaven between your thighs and worshipping like a devoted follower at an altar, sucking on your pearly little clit like it’s candy, and using her hands to keep your legs apart instead of squeezing at her head.

you felt so self-conscious, not just because of her intense passion, but also because of the location that was so recognizable yet was anything but at the same time. you felt like someone would walk in at any moment because they forgot something or someone cleaning up after hours would come across what the two of you were doing, eyes darting around nervously to keep a lookout until you felt mira’s teeth against your core in a threatening manner. 

“hey, eyes on me, baby,” she muttered, clearly displeased about your being distracted. 

“‘m sorry, i can’t help it…”

“don’t think about any of that,” she told you, although you were more focused on the sight of the trail of spit connecting her lips to your cunt, “just close your eyes and focus on me, okay?”

you nodded and did as she ordered, obedient as ever, shutting off all of your senses aside from touch, feeling her tongue thrust in and out of you before lapping at your most sensitive area in a constant motion. the push and pull made you feel that familiar knot in your stomach, growing tighter and tighter with every passing second. 

mira could feel it too, the way your nails started to dig into her scalp and your fingers tugging on her locks a little harder. she sped up her pace a little bit more as if she was possessed by raw desire, closing her lips around you and sucking hard, determined to make you finish and create a mess all over her lower face. even when you did finally orgasm, calling out her name with an arch of your back, she continued to leave little kitten licks all over as if she was trying to clean you up. 

resting the side of her head against your inner thigh, she looked up at you with the most detestably loveable look, smirking at you, “see? i told you it would be fine.”

“god, you’re so insufferable!” you pouted, “we really could have been caught!”

“yeah, but we didn’t,” she shrugged. her voice lowered to a whisper, “besides, we both know that it would have turned you on even more if someone did.” the look on your face made her burst out in laughter before getting back up, “come on, let's get you cleaned up, the others are probably wondering where we are.”

request:

M-Mira eating out assistant manager reader before a show, perhaps 🥹👉👈

[daddysbutch]

Butch4Butch Porn Catalogue

Written erotica

The Holy Grail, required reading: George's Boi by greyhyms on AO3 - butch/butch, Daddy kink, stone butch

Set in Stone: butch on butch erotica (2001) at openlibrary.org

The entire Jess/Lupe A League of Their Own tag on AO3

Sinclair Sexsmith - butch4butch and butch4femme: website

Orlando Silver - butch4butch and T4T: Substack

Dev Ill/thedevilisadyke: AO3

kind to be cruel - butch/butch - dignification kink, Daddy kink

bad guy - butch/butch - sadism and masochism, blood play, bondage

in the alley - butch/butch/butch - orgasm control, pain kink, public sex/in an alley, Daddy kink, Sir kink, threesome

fangs4fur - butch/butch - vampire and werewolf, breeding kink, pain kink, blood play, sadism and masochism

Bite, Burn, & Sting - butch/butch, needle play, pain kink, piercings, genital piercing, Daddy kink, impact play, masturbation

Solder & Flux - butch/butch, power bottom/service top, hatefucking, enemies to lovers, pain play, Daddy kink, knife play, blood play, gagging

Smoke and Flame- butch/butch, smoke play, marijuana, Daddy kink, choking

Forgive Me, Father - butch/butch, blasphemy kink, masturbating in a confession booth, wax play, spanking

dykediaries: Literotica

Bois' Night - butch/butch, a friend helps a friend get over a breakup

Meet Me After Work? - butch/butch, a butch gets picked up by a customer at their job

One Night Stand - butch/butch, two butches get set up on a blind date

Reconnecting - butch/butch, two old transmasc friends meet up post-transition

Welcome Surprise - butch/butch/femme, threesome, a butch/femme couple incorporate another butch

basicbutch: Literotica

Arm Wrestle - butch/butch - The reigning arm wrestling champ at the dive bar meets her match.

One Bad Night - butch/butch - A terrible night out results in unexpected romance.

(my stuff) Leo Wilder/ butchpillowprince:  AO3, website, instagram, linktr.ee

Yes, Sir anthology (paperback, ebook)

Coming Home novella (paperback, ebook)

Charlie & her friends series

Poker Game - butch/butch/butch/butch/butch/butch group sex - Charlie and her friends play poker and find a new way to place their bets.

Halloween Party - butch/butch/butch/butch/butch/butch group sex - Charlie and the gang throw a Halloween party and play truth or dare.

Camping Trip - butch/butch/butch/butch/butch/butch group sex and three butch/butch pairs - Charlie and her friends go on a camping trip together after the Halloween party.

New Year's - butch/butch/butch/butch/butch/butch group sex - Charlie and her friends go to a kink party for New Year's Eve.

One-shot originals

Against the Ropes - butch/butch - Tensions run high in the boxing ring between rivals.

Amateurs - butch/butch/butch/butch - Some butch friends film amateur porn in a parking lot, and get caught.

Bittersweet Rivals - butch/butch - Two basketball rivals meet at the bar and work out their rivalry on the dancefloor.

BOY TOY - butch/butch - A couple explores a "BOY TOY" collar fantasy together, and acts it out in the bedroom.

Butch Bros - butch/butch - Two butch buds hang out and have a good time on the couch.

Butch Cocksuckers - butch/butch/butch - A set of roommates work on their communication together.

Chastity - butch/butch - A closeted, repressed baby butch gets corrupted by a filthy, greedy butch top.

Gym Rat - butch/butch - A gym bro follows a silver fox to the showers.

Library Stacks - butch/butch/butch - Two students find a creative way to study in the library, and they get caught.

Oil Change - butch/butch - Jack's friend needs some help in the garage.

Road Trip - butch/butch - A country boy and a city boy take a road trip together, and the city boy misbehaves.

Suit and Tie - butch/butch - Two butches get dressed up for the opera and don't make it out the door.

Tough Guy - butch/butch - A heartbroken butch goes to the bar, flagging black on the right.

Use Me - butch/butch - A drink on the couch becomes more when the boy learns how to ask for what he wants.

Audio erotica

Dev Ill/thedevilisadyke: butch4butch audio library

Closer Than Ever and Game Time on Dipsea (paid or 7 day free trial) - masc lesbian friends have a Dyke Night that starts with a friendly massage / They go to a bar and realize their prospects aren't as hot as each other

Masc for Masc on TryQuinn (paid or 7 day free trial) https://www.tryquinn.com/audio/masc-for-masc

The entire butch4butch tag on Gone Wild Audio Sapphic (/r/gwasapphic)

Video porn

Fagdyke Cruising

Shutter

Blue Room

Butch4Butch Daddy boy scene

Butch vs butch lesbians

Butch & Butch

Sid Blankovich and Jiz Lee

Adina and Saffron

Daddi Dice and Red Jackhammer

Dallas and Syd Blakovich

Two lesbian butches having anal sex

Butch on fire

Real girlfriends

The rest of the butch4butch tag on PINKLABEL.tv

Am I missing something? Reblog and link to it!

[lovesoakedd]

I've seen a lot of posts lately about loser-big-brother-butch summer. but, I pose you this: losergirl femme summer. days spent bedrotting and on butch-femme twitter. always in a perpetual state of longing, hearing about their friends' nights spent out in the club and meeting this person or that person, wanting so badly to have someone to lay with at night but not bothering to actually go out for it. spends long, humid days hunched over the computer or just sitting on their porch and letting the summer heat soak through their skin. they try out different makeup styles and hairdos in the foggy mirror of their childhood bathroom, and huff in exhaustion when they just can't get it right. a little butterfly clip will suffice, they suppose. they complain about their lack of prospects to the kids they babysit, and practically feel their mouth gushing with saliva when they see the one butch in their local area mowing everyone's lawn. they give an air of awkward-but-mysterious big sister, always lurking around every corner of the house, sipping on their soda and keeping to themself. their outings include heading to the mall to try to scramble together an aesthetic they like and going to the book store to find literature that makes them feel more at home. and they want. and want and want want.

[crimson-femme]

𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

table of contents: books; anthologies, history, novels, erotica, photography. films; movies, documentaries, shorts. miscellaneous; dissertations, articles, etc. note: everything (minus a few) has a link to access the media! if i am able to find the missing links i will attach them along with adding new content. there are a couple things that are not specifically butchfemme, but i kept them because i feel that they fit. enjoy!

𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚎𝚜 + 𝚌𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚜

୨୧ A Restricted Country by Joan Nestle

୨୧ Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity by Chloë Brushwood Rose, Anna Camilleri 

୨୧ Butch/Femme: Inside Lesbian Gender by Sally R. Munt, Cherry Smyth

୨୧ Butch is a Noun by S. Bear Bergman

୨୧ Femme/Butch: New Considerations of the Way We Want to Go by Michelle Gibson, Deborah Meem

୨୧ Femme: Feminists, Lesbians, and Bad Girls by Laura Harris, Elizabeth Crocker 

୨୧ Lesbian Culture: The Lives, Work, Ideas, Art and Visions of Lesbians Past and Present by Julia Penelope, Susan Wolfe

୨୧ On Butch and Femme: A Compiled Readings by I.M. Epstein

୨୧ Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme by Ivan Coyote, Zena Sharman

୨୧ Render Me, Gender Me: Lesbians Talk Sex, Class, Color, Nation, Studmuffins... by Kath Weston

୨୧ S/he by Minnie Bruce Pratt

୨୧ The Femme Mystique by Leslea Newman

୨୧ The Femme's Guide To The Universe by Shar Rednour

୨୧ The Lesbian Erotic Dance: Butch, Femme, Androgyny, and Other Rhythms by JoAnn Loulan

୨୧ The Little Butch Book by Leslea Newman

୨୧ The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader by Joan Nestle

୨୧ Tomboys!: Tales of Dyke Derring-Do by Lynne Y. Fletcher, Karen Barber

୨୧ Tomboy Survival Guide by Ivan Coyote

𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢

NOTE ⋆ there is more history content in the film section as well as historical fiction in the novel section!!!

୨୧ Appearances Can Be Deceiving: Butch-Femme Fashion and Queer Legibility in New York City, 1945–1969 by Alix Gitner

୨୧ Baby, You Are My Religion: Women, Gay Bars, And Theology Before Stonewall by Marie Cartier

୨୧ Becoming Visible: An Illustrated History Of Lesbian And Gay Life In Twentieth-Century America by Molly McGary, Fred Wasserman

୨୧ Before Stonewall: The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community by Andrea Weiss

୨୧ Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold: The History of a Lesbian Community by Elizabeth Lapovsky Kennedy, Madaline D. Davis

୨୧ GLBT Historical Society: Museum & Archives ⋆ general LGBT archives, but a very important and great source

୨୧ Making History: The Struggle for Gay and Lesbian Equal Rights: 1945-1990: An Oral History by Eric Marcus

୨୧ Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers: A History of Lesbian Life In Twentieth-Century America by Lillian Faderman

୨୧ Uninvited: Classical Hollywood Cinema and Lesbian Representability by Patricia White

୨୧ Unsuitable: A History of Lesbian Fashion by Eleanor Medhurst

𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚜

୨୧ A Crystal Diary: A Novel by Frankie Hucklenbroich ⋆ The razor-edged, compelling, often wryly humorous story hustles us from the blood-and-beer-drenched corners of her St. Louis meat-packing district '50s youth, through the sex-soaked Hollywood alleys of her '60s baby butch years, into the druggy metropolis of '70s San Francisco.

୨୧ Beebo Brinker by Ann Bannon ⋆ Beeboo, a butch 17-year-old farm girl newly arrived in New York after she is driven from her Wisconsin home town for wearing drag to the State Fair. Befriended by the gay Jack Mann, a father-figure with a weakness for runaways, Beebo sets out to find love.

୨୧ Departure from the Script by Jae ⋆ An aspiring actress meeting photographer, femme meeting butch in this light-hearted lesbian romance set in Hollywood.

୨୧ Doc and Fluff: The Dystopian Tale of a Girl and Her Biker by Pat Califia ⋆ Set in the bleak and not-too-distant future of a culture in its death throes, Doc and Fluff careens through the lives of a pair of outlaw women struggling to survive on the road.

୨୧ Feast While You Can by Mikaella Clements, Onjuli Datta ⋆ A fresh, queer spin on possession horror with a sharp focus on deeply complex small-town dynamics. A young queer woman who's lived her whole life in the dead-end mountain village of Cadenze finds herself violently possessed by an ancient, malevolent, memory-eating entity that inhabits the caves bordering her home.

୨୧ Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo ⋆ America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father—despite his hard-won citizenship—Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day.

୨୧ Lucy and Mickey by Red Jordan Arobateau ⋆ Lesbian life in the late 1950s, early '60s; and a powerful romance & sexual drama between two females, Lucy & Mickey.

୨୧ Patience and Sarah by Isabel Miller ⋆ In an early puritanical New England town, a butch and femme fall in love and discover they can run a farm and live together away from the world that sought to limit them and their love.

୨୧ Satan's Best by Red Jordan Arobateau ⋆ volume #1 in the ten book lesbian biker series THE OUTLAW CHRONICLES. In this action-packed novel we are introduced to the gang of raunchy and glamorous biker women, including the 5 Warlords who run the Outlaws. Enter beautiful blond butch Angel–lone rider on the storm.

୨୧ Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg ⋆ The life of Jess Goldberg, a working-class Jewish butch lesbian in New York from the 1940s through the 1970s.

୨୧ The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall ⋆ The timeless struggle of a butch and femme couple to be accepted by "polite" society. This now classic was banned outright upon publication in 1928.

𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚊 𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚎𝚜

୨୧ Back To Basics: A Butch-Femme Anthology by Theresa Szymanski

୨୧ Breathless: Erotica by Kitty Tsui

୨୧ Hard Road, Easy Riding: Lesbian Biker Erotica by Sacchi Green, Rakelle Valencia

୨୧ Rode Hard, Put Away Wet: Lesbian Cowboy Erotica by Sacchi Green, Rakelle Valencia

୨୧ Set in Stone: Butch-on-Butch Erotica by Angela Brown

୨୧ Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch Femme Erotica by Tristan Taormino

୨୧ The Harder She Comes: Butch/Femme Erotica by D.L. King

𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚑𝚢 𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍

୨୧ Butch/Femme edited by M.G. Soares

୨୧ Butch: Not Like The Other Girls by SD Holman

୨୧ Dagger On Butch Women by Lily Burana, Roxxie Linnea Due

୨୧ Love Bites by Del LaGrace Volcano

୨୧ Making Out: The Book Of Lesbian Sex And Sexuality by Zoe Schramm-Evans, Laurence Jaugey Paget

୨୧ Nothing But The Girl: The Blatant Lesbian Image by Susie Bright, Jill Posener

୨୧ The Butch/Femme Photo Project by Wendi Kali

୨୧ The Drag King Book by Del LaGrace Volcano, Judith "Jack" Halberstam

୨୧ The Femme's Guide to the Universe by Shar Rednour

𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖𝚜

୨୧ A Complicated Queerness: Living Femme in a Dyke Community dir. Johanna Buchignani, Emily Hillman ⋆ short film: This film investigates the ways in which gender, power and sexism are lived and experienced within the San Francisco Mission dyke community. The documentary aims to promote awareness of and discussion about the prejudice and invisibility of queer femininity, in order to build alliances and healthier communities.

୨୧ Before Stonewall (1984) dir. Greta Schiller, Robert Rosenberg ⋆ documentary: The history of the Gay and Lesbian community before the Stonewall riots began the major gay rights movement.

୨୧ Bound (1996) dir. The Wachowskis ⋆ thriller/crime: Corky, a tough female ex-convict working on an apartment renovation in a Chicago building meets a couple living next door, Caesar, a paranoid mobster, and Violet.

୨୧ By Hook or By Crook (2001) dir. Harry Dodge, Silas Howard ⋆ crime/romance: A buddy film that chronicles two butches, Shy and Valentine, who collide by chance in the San Francisco streets. Shy is immersed in daydreams about the loving father they lost and Valentine is searching for the mother they never met. Like-hearted mischievous souls, the pair stumbles into a series of shambolic shenanigans — along with Valentine’s girlfriend, Billie.

୨୧ Dream Girls (1994) dir. Kim Longinotto, Jano Williams ⋆ documentary: Women join Japan's all-female Takarazuka Revue musical theater troupe, portraying men's roles. The film explores gender dynamics, desires, and complexities of female identity in Japanese society through these performers' experiences.

୨୧ Gay Tape: Butch and Femme (1985) by Cecilia Dougherty ⋆ short: The Gay Tape brings “a little fine-tuning” to the question of representation, honing in on the subjective particularities of the butch-femme dynamic as experienced by members of Dougherty’s local Bay Area dating pool. 

୨୧ Gender Troubles: The Butches (2016) dir. Lisa Plourde ⋆ documentary: What portrayals of lesbianism are acceptable and who gets erased? Butch lesbians from a wide range of backgrounds and ages provide a compelling exploration of society's assumptions and challenge ideas about what it means to be female. They show the rewards that come with self acceptance. Tender, funny, and thought-provoking. NOTE: after clicking the link, scroll down to the middle to watch where it is available with english audio and french, spanish, dutch, or portuguese subtitles.

୨୧ If These Walls Could Talk 2 (2000) dir. Jane Anderson, Anne Heche, Martha Coolidge ⋆ romance/drama: This anthology of short films tells the stories of three lesbian couples - who live in the same house at different periods of time - who are at a crossroads in their lives. The second story includes a motorcycle riding, leather jacket and tie wearing butch, Amy.

୨୧ Last Call at Maud's (1993) dir. Paris Poirier ⋆ documentary: Some genuinely wild women – and some more demure but no less lively types – take center stage in Paris Poirier’s vivacious documentary about the life and times of Maud’s, the longest running lesbian bar ever.

୨୧ Salmonberries (1991) dir. Percy Adlon ⋆ drama/indie: A woman (played by k.d. lang) who grew up in a small town in Alaska goes to the public library to try and find out who her parents were. She eventually befriends the librarian, an East German immigrant who lost her husband while escaping from behind the Iron Curtain. They help each other try to find closure to the events in their past.

୨୧ Shinjuku Boys (1995) dir. Jano Williams, Kim Longinotto ⋆ documentary: This documentary offers rich insight into gender and sexuality in Japan via a candid portrait of Kazuki, Tatsu, and Gaish, three trans masculine hosts working at the New Marilyn Club in Tokyo’s bustling Shinjuku district. As the film follows them at home and on the job, all three talk frankly about their lives, revealing their views on love, sex, and identity.

୨୧ Stormé: The Lady of the Jewel Box (1987) dir. Michelle Parkerson ⋆ documentary/short film: Through archival clips, Stormé DeLarverie, bodygaurd of a women's club and former drag king looks back on the grandeur of the Jewel Box Revue and its celebration of pure entertainment in the face of homophobia and segregation.

୨୧ Stud Life (2012) dir. Campbell X ⋆ romance/drama: JJ, a lesbian, works as a wedding photographer with Seb, a gay man who is her best friend. After JJ falls in love with a gorgeous diva, her friendship with Seb becomes strained, and she may be forced to choose between Seb and her lover.

୨୧ The Aggressives (2005) dir. Daniel Peddle ⋆ documentary: The Aggressives is an exposé on the subculture of masculine presenting people of color and their femme counterparts. Filmed over five years in New York City, the featured subjects share their dreams, secrets, and deepest fears.

୨୧ The Watermelon Woman (1996) dir. Cheryl Dunye ⋆ romance/comedy: An aspiring black lesbian filmmaker researches an obscure 1930s black actress billed as the Watermelon Woman.

𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚘𝚞𝚜

୨୧ A Butch Road Map by Ivan Coyote ⋆ spoken word

୨୧ A Dyke's Bike Repair Handbook by Jill Taylor ⋆ motorcycle care/repair handbook, this one is so random i just love it lol

୨୧ Are Butch and Fem Working-Class and Anti-Feminist? by Sara L. Crawley ⋆ article

୨୧ Butch Between the Wars: A Pre-History of Butch Style in Twentieth-Century Literature, Music, and Film by Karen Allison Hammer ⋆ dissertation

୨୧ Female Masculinity by Judith Halberstam

୨୧ Feminizing Theory: Making Space for Femme Theory by Rhea Ashley Hoskin ⋆ thesis

୨୧ Femme: Feminists, Lesbians, and Bad Girls by Laura Harris, Elizabeth Crocker

୨୧ Lesbian Identity and the Politics of Butch-Femme by Amy Goodloe ⋆ paper/review

୨୧ Lineage To My Femme Foremothers by A.N. ⋆ zine

୨୧ Lipstick & Dipstick's Essential Guide to Lesbian Relationships by Gina Daggett, Kathy Belge

୨୧ Narrating and Negotiating Butch and Femme: Storying Lesbian Selves in a Heteronormative World by Sara L. Crawley ⋆ dissertation

୨୧ On the Appropriation of Femme from Lesbians Over Everything, a discussion between four femmes ⋆ article

୨୧ The Misunderstood Gender: A Model of Modern Femme Identity by Heidi Levitt, Elisabeth Gerrish, Katherine Hiestand ⋆ study

୨୧ The Mythic Mannish Lesbian: Radclyffe Hall and the New Woman by Esther Newton

୨୧ To All the Beautiful, Kick-Ass, and Fierce, Full-Bodied Femmes by Ivan Coyote ⋆ spoken word

i was meaning to post this for when i hit 1k followers, but i somehow have already surpassed that. it is weird to think that i started this blog on january 27. thank you all so much for following and interacting. i hope you enjoy this list and my blog in general!!

much love 💋

[comatosebunny09]

more ex-assassin!reader shenanigans

cw: non-mc reader, reader implied to be femme, crossover, mild language, unrequited (?) feelings, mild jealousy, angst, not proofread, stream of consciousness

You throw your door open, prepared to go into town for groceries. But you don’t expect to see a familiar riotous mop of white hair and the unmistakable scarlet eyes that always accompany them standing at your door.

Six months. He’s been an apparition living in the bowels of your mind for six months. You were starting to get over him. Slowly beginning to release those feelings squeezing your heart in their unrelenting grasp.

And then he had to go and fuck it up by showing his stupid face.

“Hi,” he says, voice a little shaky, a little unsure as he peers down at you with a twitch of a smile. That tone still disturbs the dust particles around you. His presence is still overwhelming, as if commanding time and space to bend just for him.

When you pick your jaw up off the floorboards, you manage a meek, “Um, hi.”

His shoulders drop the tiniest bit. To anyone outside, he’s a confident hulk of a man. But to you, still well-versed in his tells after all these years of working under him, you know he’s stalling. A scared little man who didn’t expect to see the woman he jilted thriving and free. Alive and putting herself back together, brick by rickety brick.

“Can we talk?” he asks, tone so low, it barely carries above the breeze sifting through the grass on your lawn.

Always straight to the point. Always down to business. No, ‘How are you?’ No, ‘How have you been?’ Just straight to the nitty gritty, to the meat and potatoes. Of course, that’s one of the things that drew you to him—you hated when people beat around the bush.

You will your voice to work in your favor today. Not to waver, not to belie the conglomerate of emotions welling in your chest—fear, anguish, resentment.

One hand on the door, you step aside to usher him in with a faint smile pulling at your lips. “Sure. Come in.”

You’re going to learn to regret this. You’re doing more than just inviting your old boss into your home; it’s almost like you’re inviting him back into your life.

—

Of course, seeing Sylus, a dark cutout of power and refinement, sitting on your quaint armchair with a teacup and saucer in his giant hands, surveying your humble surroundings, loosens some of the tension in the air—just a little bit.

You stifle a snort behind your fist, setting your tea down on the coffee table. He reminds you of a Doberman puppy, still capable of violence in the right hands and situation, but curious and unassuming as he takes in the pastel colors and grandma-esque decor littering your home.

It’s nothing like the luxurious fibers adorning his mansion in the N109. Nothing like the posh furniture he decked your safe house with in Linkon, reasoning you needed the best. It’s a simple style that suits you and this new life you lead. Earthy, minimalistic. Nothing complicated, but still synonymous with this soft-girl thing you’ve been trying out.

“I didn’t know you liked pink,” he says into his teacup once he’s done quietly judging you, taking a sip, eyes creased with a bit of humor over the rim, watching you.

You adjust on your armchair, halfway offended. Cross your legs, throwing up that mask of nonchalance he seasoned you into wearing. “Well, there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

There’s a bite of malice to your voice. An underlying resentment beneath the playfulness. He catches it if the tightening of his jaw is anything to go by—the slightest sharpening of his gaze, gleaming like heated steel.

Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t dare try him like that. Sure, you’ve teased and bantered with your old boss. But saying anything else would warrant a fate worse than death.

But, do you really care right now? He’s the one encroaching on your space, your peace, with his stupid, still handsome face and his ridiculous stature that still makes you feel a sparkle of something low in your belly.

He could kill you right here and now for running away. For leaving his side after he shattered your heart like sea waves scattering against the rocks. That prospect doesn’t scare you. Not like it used to when you first fled. No one would notice. No one would miss you, save for Leon, who would eventually get over the tiny crater you left in his life.

Sylus sets his teacup down, and you stiffen, half-expecting him to snap his fingers and turn you into cinders. But, he doesn’t. Instead, he hits you with a “Fair enough,” around the resigned curl of his lips as if he missed you giving him shit.

You blink owlishly, watching him sit back in your armchair as if he’s always been a part of the decor. He props his elbows on the armrests, tapping the tips of his fingers together, scrutinizing you like a rare protocore he’s hellbent on buying.

You try not to shiver under the weight that gaze still carries. Under the power he still boasts over your body, your psyche, and he’s only said a few things to you.

Ignoring how your heart pounds something violent in your throat and how your throat feels dry as if coated with sand, you pitch yourself forward, elbows on your thighs, gaze narrowing. The buzz of questions in your mind outweighs that of fear. You want him out of your home, this town, your life, as quickly as possible. But not before you interrogate him on how and why he’s here.

He beats you to the punch, eyes softening, smile a little more disarming. “You look well.”

You’re taken aback again. You half-anticipated him insulting you. You blink, your mouth trying vainly to form coherent words. “Uh, thanks.”

He leans forward to mirror your posture, and you get a good look at those scarlet irises. “You got a tan? It looks good on you.”

You chuckle nervously, sweeping an errant lock of hair behind your ear. Inwardly admonish yourself, because what’s with you acting like an enamored little teen in the face of your heartbreaker?

You clear your throat, remembering yourself. Putting back up that indifferent, tough girl front. He’s trying to manipulate you. Wear you down. He knows he’s fucked up. You won’t fall for it.

“Yeah. Easy to get a little color when I’m not stuck somewhere the sun doesn’t shine.”

It’s like you punched him in the gut. He flinches the slightest bit. Winces, huffing out a quiet chuckle as he studies the floor. Good. You want him to hurt.

Tired of beating around the proverbial bush, you spout out, “Why are you here, Sylus? The twins send you? I know you sent them and Mephisto to snoop around. Keep tabs on me. You trying to drag me back? Because I’m not going back to that shit hole or anywhere with you without a fight.”

You brim with confidence beneath the glacial fear snaking down your spine. You mean every word—even if you know you’ll lose, he’ll have to drag you back kicking and screaming.

He made his choice. You weren’t it. And you’ll be damned if you fall back at his side like a sad, lovestruck puppy, watching him fall in love with someone who isn’t you.

Sylus fixes his mouth to say something, a little taken aback by your defiance. A little wounded. But before he can get an excuse out, the chime of your doorbell fills the thickened atmosphere of your home, effectively disrupting whatever come-to-Jesus meeting you were having with your boss. Perfect timing.

You exchange a glance. You don’t miss the desperate flash in his gaze when you peel yourself from your chair, striding towards your front door.

You snatch the door open, relieved to see serene ocean blues staring down at you.

“Hey,” says Leon, voice all playful and smoky. He leans against your doorframe, bicep spilling from the short sleeve of his shirt, smile devastating against the stubble on his cheeks. “Your parents home, little lady?”

You snort despite yourself. Despite the tension coiling in your gut. You tamp it down, trying to play it cool. Cross your arms, propping your shoulder against your doorframe to mirror him. “How can I help you, Mr. Kennedy?”

His gaze flits between your eyes and lips. Leon grins all the more wider, straightening to gently tug at a lock of your hair. It’s a pleasant sensation, pins and needles sparkling in your scalp. You bite your lips, bite back a smile, shaking away from his touch.

He reminds you of a kicked puppy, the way his smile drops and his brows fall at the outer corners. You’ll make it up to him later—you promise.

“Came to take a look at your dryer,” he says once he’s picked up his pride, holding up a toolset.

Ah. Fuck. You forgot.

As if remembering your nefarious guest, you pull the door slightly closed, wedging yourself in the gap to blot out the sight of otherworldly white. “Can you come back tomorrow?”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

You rub the scruff of your neck, a nervous titter on your lips. “Um…something came up.”

Leon chuckles, fingers skating over your cheek. “Like what?”

“Like me,” a resonant voice sounds from over your shoulder, and you stiffen.

Leon glances up, his humor traded for confusion at the towering man behind you. He narrows his eyes, and the tension brewing in the air between them is palpable. You don’t have to look back to see that stone-faced look Sylus is wearing. To see the tense set of his jaw, the fire and brimstone in his eyes.

You’re caught between them, a flimsy barrier amid their stare-down, and all you can do is sigh and shake your head.

This wouldn’t have happened if you just told Sylus to fuck off in the first place.

How do you even begin to introduce them to each other? Old love interest who broke my heart, meet boyfriend-in-training who’s mending it?

[zorosangell]

DAMNNNN THAT SHANKS’ DAUGHTER FIC IS *CHEF’S KISS*💋 more shanks’ daughter content pls🙏🤲🏼

⛥ﾟ・。 receipt

synopsis: part two of reading -- a rude store manager and an unruly gang of bounty hunters prove how much zoro DOES NOT play about the daughter of red-haired shanks (i.e you)

cw: can be read as part two or a standalone tbh, reader uses magic, fluffy fluff, comfort, protective zoro, slightly emotionally constipated zoro, reader is BAD, reader is very femme fatale-ish, reader is a bit of a freak at the end, their relationship is so cutesy

a/n: i used edits of kiara and jj as research for this lol

"(y/n), is this really necessary?" Zoro sighed for the hundredth time, going stiff as your hand slid up his chest once again, before rising to hold his jaw.

Like clockwork, a familiar flush began to burn up his neck, forcing a smirk to curl on your wine-colored lips.

"Of course," you smiled, pressing a firm kiss on his cheek before pulling away to see your handiwork. "How else am I supposed to know which one looks best on you?"

At that, your swordsman scoffed, eyes rolling to glance at a nearby mirror, which detailed at least thirty different shades of red kiss marks strewn all over his face, neck, and chest.

Not to mention the plethora of bags from varying boutiques gripped tightly in his hands.

'I don't know how much more of this I can take...'

The two of you had been out on the town from practically sun-up to sundown, window shopping and store hopping to your heart's content.

Key word being your.

Zoro, the "unlucky bastard"—a name given by the ship's cyborg—had the privilege of not only being your personal bag rack for the day, but also your personal pocketbook.

Safe to say, after ten hours of binge shopping, both the swordsman and his wallet were ready to go home.

"Oh, don't give me that face," you giggled, cupping his cheek as you snatched up one of the department store's complimentary wipes, using it to rub off the lipstick stains. "The lady's already ringing me up. We can go soon."

The words were practically music to his ears, his shoulders visibly sinking as he let out a relieved sigh, the sight pulling another laugh from your lips.

"And since you've been such a good sport, I figured you deserved something nice to go with dinner tonight."

With a cheeky grin, you bent over to rummage through a bag he didn't recognize, before finally pulling out a large, green bottle of high-grade sake.

"Now we're talkin'!" he grinned, dropping the bags and pulling you into his side, pressing two, firm kisses into your temple. "This is the good stuff."

Knowingly, you chuckled, throwing an arm around his neck, "I know, I know. I'm the best girlfriend on the planet. You don't have to tell me."

Jokingly, Zoro rolled his eyes, unable to bite back the smile rising to his lips.

Many were surprised to see that you and the swordsman had gotten together, given your very high maintenance lifestyle, playful personality, and rather daunting lineage.

But to the man himself?

It couldn't have made more sense.

You were a woman who knew what she wanted, and didn't settle for anything less.

Sure, you were a bit more forward, but that kept him on his toes.

And what many failed to realize past the shield of your father's name was that you were a genuinely sweet, kind, and generous woman.

You just kept your cards close to chest, like any child of a Yonko would.

"Ahem," a voice interjected, pulling the swordsman out of his you-induced stupor.

Confused, you turned around, raising a brow at the sight of a rather stuffy-looking man, his lips pulled taut and suit impossibly tight.

"There a problem, sir?" you asked, tone soft.

Quickly, his beady eyes flicked to the bottle in your hand, before sharply returning to your face.

"I hope you have a receipt for that," he warned, tone expectant.

"Of course," you nodded, turning to rummage through your purse. "I have it right here."

"Sure, you do..." he muttered under his breath, the comment not sliding past Zoro for a moment.

His gaze narrowed at the store manager, unappreciative of the sly remark.

"No, no, it's here. I just put it in," you assured, pushing past your compacts and lip gloss and emergency switchblade. "I bought the bottle a few minutes ago."

"Look, miss, stealing is not tolerated here at Batharby's—" "I didn't steal it," you corrected, quickly.

"Then produce a receipt."

"I will. Just give me a second to find it."

"Miss, give me back the bottle."

"Sir, I assure you, I paid for this sake. If I wanted to steal it, I would've been long gone by now."

"So you admit you want to steal it!" the manager pointed his finger in your face.

"Watch it," Zoro cut in, sharply, brows furrowing as he stepped in front of you.

"I know your kind. Filthy pirates who think they can take whatever they want."

"And I know if you don't get that finger out her face, we're going to have a serious problem."

"Look, sir," you sighed, frustration rising in your tone as you peeked out from behind your boyfriend's large frame. "Ask Nari. She was the saleswoman I bought the bottle from."

"I will do nothing of the sort! You could have very well threatened her into corroborating your story."

"I've been here the whole time!"

"Who can tell what sort of sorcery harlots like you can do!"

"Y'know, you're really startin' to piss me off," Zoro spat, harshly yoking up the man by his collar.

"Look! It's Roronoa Zoro and Shank's daughter!" a thug suddenly exclaimed as he burst into the door, about twenty other men in tow. "Told you I saw 'em around town!"

"Shit," Zoro cursed, freezing in place.

"I have a name outside of my father you kn-OW!"

Quickly, your swordsman scooped you up, leaping over the counter before making a run for the exit in the back.

"Zo, my clothes!" you whined, wistfully glancing over his shoulder at the decadent bags you were leaving behind.

"I'll buy you some more later!" he assured, pushing past a plethora of racks and mannequins and people before kicking down the exit door and entering the nearby alley.

Where another twenty bounty hunters were waiting for you.

"Hand her over, Pirate Hunter!"

"You're outnumbered!"

"That two billion bounty is mine!"

"Hell, we'll get double that if we ransom her! Shanks is probably rolling in cash!"

"(y/n)—" "I know," you sighed as Zoro put you down, the man quickly ushering you behind himself as he drew his sword.

"You do your thing," you assured, nonchalant as you took a few steps back, snapping your fingers and making a picnic blanket appear out of thin air.

With that out the way, Zoro leaped into action, slicing, dicing, and kicking the ass of all forty thugs in the alley.

Meanwhile, you took a little siesta, conjuring up a picnic basket full of Sanji's signature tea and hors d'oeuvres to snack on while you watched your man work.

"Zo, honey, when you're done, do you want onigiri with sea king meat or without?" you called, looking through the enchanted basket for his favorite food.

"With," he answered, calmly, as he clashed with three hunters at the same time, "M'startin to work up an appetite."

Nodding, you pulled out a plate-full, setting it down on the spot opposite of you as the fight raged on—with Zoro having the clear upper-hand.

"Can we join your tea party, sweetheart?!" one of the thugs sneered, attempting to run up behind you with six allies in tow.

"How stupid can you be!"

"Our boss is gonna have a hell of a time with you!"

"Bold of you to turn your back on us!"

"Cocky bitch!"

Taking a sip of tea, you remained unbothered, allowing the men to wind up their attacks as you remained facing forward.

"Scream for me!"

In an instant, Zoro appeared behind you, shielding you as he dished out a deadly attack, the slash taking them all out with ease.

"You all right?" he asked, glancing back at you.

"Loud bunch, aren't they?" you grumbled, rubbing your ear.

At your adorable pout, a smile broke out on Zoro's lips, a certain flutter introducing itself to his stomach.

You looked so beautiful sitting there, completely and utterly trusting in his ability to protect you, not a care in the world.

You didn't have to worry about stuff like that anymore, not with him by your side.

The infamous daughter of Shanks was under the protection of the infamous Pirate Hunter, and nothing come hell or high water was going to change that.

Not even having to turn around, Zoro punched a final hunter in the face, knocking him out with a large spurt of blood.

"Anyways, c'mere. I poured you a cup," you beckoned, holding up some sake.

"Don't have to tell me twice," he grinned, taking a seat across from you.

Smoothly, you passed it off, watching with anticipation as he took a large swig, some leaking out the corner of his mouth.

"Damn, that's good!" he beamed, thoroughly wowed. "Best sake I've had in a while."

Suddenly, without warning, you leaned forward, licking the excess off his chin before pecking his lips with a cheeky smile.

"Mmm, you're right. That is good."

"(y/n)!"

The swordsman was as red as a beet, heart pounding and stomach fluttering once again at the sight of you on all fours, leaning over his lap.

"What?" you asked with false innocence, internally fawning over his adorably awkward response.

For a man so tough, he sure was shy.

"You taste good, Zo. No shame in it."

[sevsgiirl]

Omg okay I can't stop thinking about needy lovesick Sevika with a younger femme partner (you can totally do a continuation of the fic you wrote) so what if, she's a little needy&insecure for their age gap? That her girl gets bored/annoyed with her? (She doesn't have this type of thoughts all the time, but the seeds of doubts grows when she hears other people talk, not directly about her and reader, but in general but it does linger when others points out how different they are) or in her own way, she start craving more compliments, affections from her but dunno how to do it and at the same time she's trying to gauce if her girl still likes her (she does!!) yet just the thoughts/doubts hurts Sevika like so bad, because she would do anything for her darling, what she has to do to make her girl still love her and not leave her?

— sevika with a younger partner and feeling insecure

synopsis: sevika doesn’t have a type. whether they’re older or younger, just as long as they could keep up with her that’s all mattered. but ever since you two started dating, she starts to wonder if she’s the one who could keep up with you and how deep down, it scares her that you might find a problem with it eventually.

note: I just had to post this before going to sleep because the idea is too good. I love the way your brain works and again, thank you for sending in the req <3 love you and I hope you like this.

you were a beacon of light in the cesspool of chaos that is sevika’s life.

to this day, she still doesn’t understand how you and her got into a relationship but here you are now, going strong for almost a year and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

you two rarely get into arguments, when you did she never hesitates to reach out and fix the situation right away because she can’t stand being on bad terms with you for long.

you two are on the same mental wavelength, which sevika appreciates given how you’re a lot younger than her. she’s in her 40s and you were in 20s, but sometimes she forgets because conversations always run smoothly between you two.

but just because she forgets that doesn’t mean other people fail to bring it up.

when you started dating, it was a bit difficult given how it wasn’t received well by a lot of her peers. not that they judged her for it because they could never unless they wanted to have their face busted in. but it was the occasional remarks that had a hint of judgement in them that made sevika uncomfortable.

things such as “she’s a bit young, isn’t she? you better keep an eye on her especially because you’re always at work. it’s hard being in a relationship with someone who’s at a different stage in life as you.”

both of you had jobs but her work compared to yours was hectic. you work as a waitress at jericho’s meanwhile sevika is paid to get her hands dirty for silco. the job was tedious and draining and sometimes she comes home, tired to the bone that she could barely catch up with you. which she feels immensely guilty for.

you’ve reassured her that it isn’t a big deal and that you understand her status in zaun is far more important than yours. you’ve always acknowledged sevika’s role in the under city and why she was feared by many, that’s what attracted you to her in the first place. she was loyal, devoted and her endurance was insane.

but still, despite how sevika’s job is her number one priority, it still doesn’t slip her mind that she may accidentally neglect you and your needs without her knowing.

and she knows it takes a toll on you too, you just don’t want to bring it up because you respect her too much. and she was right because when she came home early one night you weren’t there, and it was almost midnight when you finally returned and you were shocked to see sevika sitting on your couch waiting for you. usually she’d be back around 2-3am.

“hey, you didn’t tell me silco would let you off the hook early,” you said but your words became background noise because she was too focused on your appearance. you were dressed up and from where she sat she could tell you’ve had a lot to drink.

it’s not that it upset sevika you went out, you could do whatever you want but it saddens her that you didn’t even go out of your way to tell her about it assuming she’d be coming home late. is this what you do when she’s not here? go out with your friends and have fun? it’s not that she expects you to wait for her in your apartment all day while she’s away for work.

still, the thought bothers her as she wonders what you must’ve been up to while she was gone. she tries to set the thought aside, not wanting to think bad of you because she knows you’d never go against her back. but certain thoughts crept up at the back of her mind. did you meet someone while you were out? were you offered drinks? did someone invite you out to dance?

“sev, baby, you there?” she didn’t even realize she zoned out until she felt you cupping her cheek “are you tired? you shouldn’t have stayed up for me.”

she shook her head “it’s alright. but yeah, silco let me off early and I wanted to surprise you.”

your shoulders sagged “I’m sorry. I assumed you’d come home late again so I decided to just go out with friends. had I known I would’ve waited so we can stay in and cuddle.”

despite your flattery words, the only thing that stuck to sevika was you implying she’d be late again. you didn’t mean it maliciously, there was no bitterness in your tone but instead there was just… acceptance. which frustrated her because people were right.

perhaps being at different stages in life does this. you needed a partner who you can home to and have fun with but instead you got her who’s always late, is already asleep when you probably want to stay up and have sex at night. she would force herself to push through just for you but she isn’t getting any younger and it shows.

maybe it’s because others have planted it in her head that you two are just far too different that’s why she’s overthinking like this, but it’s becoming more and more evident that they were right and if she doesn’t find a way to fix this, god knows before you start seeing the cracks and the dents as well.

and so in the following day she asked silco if she could cut off her usual hours at work to get back home early. at least for a few weeks and silco was shocked for a second because if there was anyone who’s extremely dedicated to their job, it’s her.

but it’s because of that he deliberates on the request “very well,” he answered “but if the matters are urgent I expect you to come in either way,”

well, it’s better than nothing, sevika thought. what matters is she’ll try to find some time to spend the following weeks with you and to hopefully regain the spark in your relationship.

not that she’s saying it’s lost but she’s scared it will. because if her days don’t consist of work, she’s either at the bar playing cards to blow off some steam, which isn’t exactly a productive way of spending one’s time.

unlike you, you have tons of friends who you go out with at clubs and sevika just doesn’t want to think about all the people you meet there, who are probably the same age as you, and have wanted to ask you out but you turned them down because of her.

meanwhile, she’s here and she can’t even keep you happy like how you deserve.

it eats her up alive that’s why as soon as she comes back from work a lot earlier than usual, she immediately engulfs you in a back hug when she sees you cooking in the kitchen.

you gasped, not expecting her “sev, you’re home.” you were surprised as you turned around “did something happen?”

she shook her head, smiling “no sweetheart, silco just let me off early again. plus I’ve been meaning to spend more time with my girl…”

you still weren’t used to the disruption of the routine, because she’s normally away at these hours, but you weren’t complaining.

and with that, you spent most of the evening cooking and catching up with each other. you didn’t miss the way sevika followed you around the house like a lost puppy when you started cleaning up to get ready for bed.

you raised an eyebrow when she wrapped her arms around your waist while you were washing the dishes, noticing how she’s awfully more needy than usual.

“baby, go rest. you just got back home from work.” you giggled and she just shook her head.

“I just want to spend more time with you. I feel like I haven’t been the best partner.”

that halted you in your tracks and you angled your head so you can face her “baby, what makes you think that?” your eyebrows were furrowed and she just held you tighter.

she lets out a breath, tired and awfully nervous about vocalizing her doubts. what if once she points it out you start seeing the red flags too? and then these affectionate gestures just won’t be enough? what then?

“I know with my job and the responsibilities I have, I haven’t been able to fulfill your needs. you have so much ahead of you and I’m always at work and I just don’t want to make it seem like I’m wasting your time.” she said and you just stood there, letting her words sink in.

“you’re young and you could be with someone whose head isn’t always stuck in a bunch of paperwork or is running around the lanes doing silco’s dirty work.” her jaw clenched and she starts to wonder if admitting to all of this was a good idea.

“I’m sorry, princess. I just don’t want to bore you by leaving you here at home all by yourself…”

you immediately swiveled around in her arms and took her face in your hands.

“sev, look at me.” you said, your voice stern “I could give less than two fucks about people my age. you think when I got into a relationship with you I didn’t know what I was signing myself up for? of course I did and I don’t regret any of it. I know you have responsibilities and I accepted all of your duties the moment you became mine.”

“I could never be bored of you, baby.” you told her, thumb caressing her cheek “you don’t treat me any differently because of my age so why should I? I love it that you’re so hard at work and that you provide for me. the fact my salary at jericho’s isn’t even enough to pay half of our rent but you don’t mind because you provide for us both, why would I find that boring? that’s fucking sexy.”

she couldn’t help but let out a snort “oh, so what you’re saying is that you’re staying with me because I’m basically your sugar mommy?”

you grinned “amongst other things,” you said before capturing her lips with your own.

the kiss was hot, heavy and slow as sevika gripped your hips and pulled you against her. pushing her knee up and sliding it across your thighs and she started rubbing against your clothed cunt, making you whimper.

“so you’re not bored of me? or mad?” she asked as she pulled away to look at you.

you rolled your eyes “you could be 23 or 75 for all I care and I still wouldn’t get bored of you.”

your finger drew circles around her chest as you fluttered your eyes up at her “plus you fuck me like you’re 23 anyway, so I don’t see why I would look for someone my age.”

she couldn’t help but laugh, swooping you up in her arms and you circled your legs around her waist as she walked you to your bedroom “god, you’re such a handful.” she said.

you smirked “but you love it.”

[lucidfairies]

disgusting [e.w]

pairing: preacher's daughter!ellie x old friend!reader

synopsis: when darkness overtakes the righteous, light will come bursting in (Psalm 112:4)

maybe, just maybe, she could get in and break you down. make you reconsider all of the things you swear you love. things that protect you.

they couldn't protect you from her.

warnings: not proof read!, reader is a minor in the beginning (flashback), reader is femme but nothing else is really disclosed, probably short, plot is weak but there, corruption, angst, religion mentioned several times, smoking, stalking, perverted behavior, mass shooting mentioned, sarah is back then dies again, underage drinking, recording without consent (not sex), unrealistic virgin experience, top Ellie, cunniligus, fingering, ass play, double penetration, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, humiliation, pillow humping, crying, smut based on this

wc: 7.8k

a/n: wow this was absolutely insane to write. this was mostly based off of this blurb, I wrote to the author for permission to base this fic off of it but I never heard back so I figured I would leave them credit here :) joel is a bit of a dick in the beginning and tess effing sucks!

the sun poured into your windows as you awoke to the loud sounds of trucks outside your window. it was the first Saturday in September, and the air was beginning to chill. you had no interest in being awoken this early on the weekend, deciding that pulling your second pillow across your face to drown out the noise was the best course of action.

unfortunately for you, the noises didn't halt, in fact, they got louder, as the backs of the trucks slid up and men began transporting boxes into the house next door. you knew people were moving in, but you didn't know it would be today of all days.

stubbornly, you sat up, pushing your hair away from your face and stretching, before standing and peaking out of your window. there were four men coming in and out of the house, as well as three women. on the second floor, you were too far to make much of their faces, but one of them was older, presumably the mother of the other two.

reluctantly, you decided to bake them a pie as a welcoming. your mother loved meeting new people and being as peppy as possible so that they would like her. she was desperate for people to like her - sometimes you were too. and right now, you wanted this family to like you, even if they woke you up at the crack of dawn.

the pie took all day, in and out of the kitchen. by 3pm, the trucks had all dispersed, and the family had moved in. if your mother wasn't away, she would be knocking at their door already. but you knew what it was like to move houses, and you knew that nobody would want anyone at their doorstep during their first day in the home. you decided to go tomorrow.

when the next day arrived, chilly and cloudy, you were ready. you were wearing a pink sweater dress, it dusted the tops of your thighs that were covered by tights. you had white, knee high socks gracing your legs under knee high boots, and they pulled the outfit together. with your pie and sweet smile, you ventured down the sidewalk to the house next door.

the woman who opened the door was the same woman you had noticed yesterday. she was tall, long brown hair that flowed over her shoulders in a gorgeous manner, and she wasn't as old as you had thought upon looking at her yesterday. frankly, she was gorgeous. you wondered if her daughters looked like her, if so, they're lucky.

“hi, can I help you?” she asked. she was breathing harshly, you wondered if it was from moving boxes or something other.

you introduced yourself, offering up your pie. she invited you in, and you noticed that the majority of the first floor was already set up, minus a few boxes here and there. you wondered if it took them all night. she called in the rest of the family to their living room, and you sat the pie on the table in the middle.

as the rest of the family filed in, your eyes locked on the girl in the middle. she was significantly shorter than the first woman you met, tess, and she looked nothing like her - neither of the girls did. she was pale and freckled, and her hair was short. she had it pulled back in a small bun on the back of her head, and she was in a white wifepleaser and jeans.

“it's nice to meet you guys,” you smiled, reaching out your hand and shaking all of theirs. in order, it was joel, ellie, and sarah. ellie. what a pretty name, you thought. her eyes practically burned your skin as she looked you over, taking in every inch of your person.

you quickly found out that ellie was merely one year your senior, and you couldn't get the fact out of your head. she wasn't too old, you told yourself. sarah, her sister, was a year younger than you. but ellie. beautiful, eighteen year old ellie, was looking at you like you were everything, and you were looking back.

an hour later, you were saying your goodbyes and traveling back down the street to your house. you almost spun; the introduction went stunningly. there was no way that the williams didn't like you, which meant that they would inevitably like your family as well. your mother would be elated.

you learned late the week day that ellie loved to smoke. every time you glanced out of your window, she was there, tapping her cig out the window. you couldn't comprehend how someone could spend so much time staring out the window with nothing but a cigarette - or a joint, whichever it actually was. you weren't close enough to see.

you said a prayer for her that night.

it stormed that next saturday, one week after the williams had moved in. it reminded you of ellie. as you walked in to your room, ready to go to bed, you were stuck in your spot as you glanced out the window to ellie's room. the scene was nothing you had seen before. there was ellie, standing in the middle of her room, yelling at joel. she looked angry, and equally sad. they both looked sad.

you couldn't hear what they were saying, but you knew it was bad. ellie grabbed a backpack and began stuffing clothes from her messy floor into it, still yelling at joel. her cheeks were red from frustration and stained from tears. joel was crying. something bad had happened, you could feel it.

ellie said something small before throwing the backpack over her back and storming out of the house. moments later, she was storming out of the front door, into the storm. and she stopped. she glanced up, met your eyes, and stopped. you looked at her as she looked at you; longing. longing something far from reach.

and then she turned, got in her car, and drove away.

you, now two years older and attending university, didn't often think of that day. ellie though - she never stopped thinking about it. she had returned home a handful of times since that rainy night, and by some miracle, you were there every time she was.

nothing about you had changed since that night. you still had your big doe eyes and you were still just as curious as you were that night. every time ellie came home (frequently for the first year, but she hadn't been back), you would peer out of your bedroom window and watch her gather things from her room.

ellie knew that you had asked about her. several times, for the first year, actually. she knew that you wanted to see her. meet her again. maybe even smoke with her. ellie had conjured many an idea as to what would happen if she was there.

so, knowing this, you simply couldn't blame ellie for her aggressive means of knowing your whereabouts. you couldn't blame her for following you home or watching you from below your bedroom window as you changed. you're the one who wanted to see her, even if it was a long time ago.

ellie swore that one day she would approach you. she was desperate to. she thought about you no matter what she did. when she was in the shower, when she was working, when she was getting off. the last one embarrassed her. she hardly knew you, while also knowing everything about you.

she knew your favorite color and your favorite skirt. she knew what kind of books you liked and that you loved to bake. she also knew that on most of your underwear, there were flowers and bows. she knew what you slept in most often. and most of all, most disturbingly, most disgusting, she knew every way to make you cum.

she watched you frantically rubbing your nipples as your hips ground down against your pillow, and she watched as your face contorted in anger every time you didn't finish. and she watched you get on your knees and pray for forgiveness from a god who wasn't listening - because the next night, you did it all again.

ellie dreamt about every way she could make you cum. if she could get her hands on you for one night, she could have you coming over and over. you just needed her, she was sure of it. she had never seen your pussy, not from the ground with you all the way up on the second floor, but she dreamt about what it would look like to watch her strap bottom out inside you.

she craved it.

she knew your schedule so well that she could tattoo it. you left early in the morning for class, came back, did homework, slept, and then went out again. she knew what days you did your laundry and what days you went grocery shopping, she even knew what you got every week, but she was too scared to ever attempt to cross paths with you –

until now, when you decided to change your schedule.

there was ellie, looming in the dairy aisle, gazing at the milk options. she had a favorite brand, but it appeared to be all out, so she was considering her choices. as she opened the door, she heard her name and came to a screeching stop. nobody says her name like that. not since the last time she talked to you two years ago.

she turned towards you, face as pale as a ghost. her ears were ringing, her blood was rushing, and she was sure she was going to faint.

“ellie, is that you?” you grinned. you knew all too well that it was her, but you figured you would ask anyway. she looked like she was going to be sick. maybe she was trying to avoid seeing anyone from the neighborhood; word had spread that she was kicked out. “oh ellie, it's been so long! I've been worried about you.”

she couldn't stop staring, not even when you pulled her it on your embrace. “hey,” she said slowly, “it's been a while.” she smiled awkwardly, attempting to mask all of the feelings that just welled inside her. “how've you been?”

“I've been good, getting by. I'm in school now. you haven't been by for a while. how's it been?” your eyes were genuine, and she immediately felt all of the blood rush back to her face as she blushed hard.

“it's been alright,” there was a pause and you pursed your lips, unsure what to say. “if you want you could come over and I could explain everything that happened. I know you saw it all that night.” you smiled widely.

“it was probably a bad night for you. but if you're up for it, it would quiet my curious mind.” you giggled. ellie must have blacked out. this couldn't be real. “here, give me your number.” and like that, your phone was in her hands. she typed in her number and quickly handed it back to you. “I have to head out, but I'll text you.”

“great.” ellie left the store without her milk that day. she had to go back, but wound up not buying it again when she replayed what had happened the previous day in her head.

you were coming to her apartment. soon. tomorrow. you had texted her about it, several times. you didn't stop texting her. she was so, totally, fucked.

when you woke up the next morning, you were excited. you had craved answers to what happened that night since it happened, and here you were, about to get them. ellie's apartment was in an area that your parents would've called rough. as you walked up to the entrance, the gate creaked and the bell had to be pressed harshly to get it to actually ring up to her apartment. she buzzed you in, and you began up the stairs to the third floor.

ellie was staring far too hard. she could see your legs. it was killing her. she wasn't ready for this, she wasn't ready to sit next to you and have a conversation with you and have you talk back to her. she simply could not.

how was she supposed to look you in the eyes and be honest with you after using your phone number to find all of your social media? how was she supposed to pretend like she didn't get off to the pretty pictures of you on your Instagram at the beach? how was she supposed to pretend like she wasn't attracted to the religion that you had plastered all over your page? maybe, just maybe, she could get in and break you down. make you reconsider all of the things you swear you love. things that protect you.

they couldn't protect you from her.

“well, I brought you some cookies,” you opened your purse and pulled out a small, round tray of chocolate chip cookies. ellie was practically foaming at the mouth already. she reached for the tray and sat it down in the kitchen, and as she walked towards it you noticed the subtle changes in her since the last time you two had shared space.

she was paler now, if that was possible, and boney. she hadn’t been eating much (spending money on weed was a lot more fun than groceries), and it made her cheekbones stick out. her hipbones, which peaked out in an undeniably slutty way from her low waisted pants and cropped shirt was more evidence towards her lack of food consumption, and you worried for her. maybe she would let you come around more, cook her some meals, maybe help her heal. maybe fix her.

that was a nagging thought in the back of your head, and it persisted, loudly, as soon as you met her again. maybe you could fix her. it’s what god called you to do, anyway. fix the broken. fix ellie.

her hand wrapped around the thin wall as she poked her head out. “want a beer? I have corona, coors, heineken-” you cut her off, or assumed you did, because she appeared as if she would continue listing brands.

“I’m good, thanks. I don’t drink.” instinctively, your hand flew to the cross around your neck, and her eyes followed it. she breathed out a small “ah”, before grabbing herself a beer and closing the fridge.

from what you could see from your statue-like spot in her living room that barely had any view into the kitchen, she had tattoos. one tattoo, specifically. it wrapped itself down and around her forearm with different types of leaves, beginning with a large, detailed moth. however, from the cleanliness of the root of it, it appeared that she just got work done. an addition had been added, coming down the top of her hand and stopping just below her fingernails on her middle and ring fingers.

it was a lovely tattoo. and it drew your attention more than it should’ve. you berated yourself; no sane person spent this long staring at and thinking about a woman’s fingers. well, maybe gay women, but you weren’t gay. you simply enjoyed the way it curved around her arm and fingers. “it just finished healing,” your head snapped up and she appeared in front of you, leaning against the table. “I got it done a couple months ago, the bottom part. I got the other part done a couple years back, high, in my friend’s basement.”

you were eternally embarrassed. god knows how long she had been standing there, watching you watch her. “that’s really… cool,” you said awkwardly. “I could never get a tattoo high. or do anything high, for that matter.” ellie hummed, cracking open the beer and flopping down on the couch. with a gesture, she offered you the other half of the couch, and you obliged, sitting your purse on the floor next to you and crossing your ankles.

somehow, you felt equally comfortable in her home as you did out of place. the brightness and niceness of you seemed as if it would disrupt ellie’s dark energy and darkness of her home, but instead you felt welcomed. you felt as if the darkness blended with your light, and it was almost nice. It would’ve been lovely if you could’ve ignored the overarching, lingering smell of weed.

“i’m sure you want to get to the point and then leave,” ellie joked, taking a small sip of her drink. but that wasn’t true - you were in the mood to stay for hours. “a lot happened that night. but a lot led up to it, too. you see, i grew up in a house like yours. joel was a preacher for a while. tess, well, tess didn’t work. not since they met, which was only a couple years ago.”

as ellie took another sip of her beer, you put some pieces together. it made sense now why ellie and sarah looked nothing like her, and why ellie never seemed to be comfortable around her.

“so, knowing that information, when I came out to my dad and tess, neither of them were really cool about it. especially tess,” your brain lagged for a moment as you processed what she was saying. obviously she was gay. that made so much more sense than trying to piece together why a woman who was trying to attract men would dress the way she dresses, with hair and tattoos like hers.

“that’s what started the discomfort in our house, but that was before you, and before the new house,” she sighed, taking another sip of her drink. you were sure that the ‘new house’ meant more than what she was letting on. “a couple days after we moved in and two nights before you saw what you did, sarah was killed in a shooting.” your mouth fell agape.

“is that why you guys were fighting?” your pupils were blown and your mouth was still hanging open, ever so slightly. even when talking about the death of someone she cared for, she still loved the way you looked at her. like you cared.

“part of why. it was a shooting at a mall. I took her to that mall. I was there when it happened. I watched her die,” ellie spoke about the matter like it was just another blip in the radar. at this point in her life, that’s what it felt like. she got high so often that she was over it. she couldn’t afford therapy, so coping with drugs was the next best thing. “all of tess’s problems with me bubbled up that night. she had been in joel’s ear about how terrible I am, how much I smoke, how my lifestyle isn’t one they should agree with, y’know. and then she told him that it was my fault. that I didn’t protect sarah, his only living memory of his other wife. and for a while, he believed her.”

ellie’s eyes fell to the drink in her hands, and she watched it fizz and bubble. she wasn’t crying - she didn’t cry often. but reciting the story for the first time aloud brought on more feelings than she had anticipated it might’ve.

“I’m sure you can imagine the rest. joel and tess aren’t together anymore. tess died, cancer took her. karma sure is a bitch,” ellie laughed dryly, leaning back against the couch and manspreading. “he’s moving soon, since it’s just him in that big ol’ house. but I can’t go back. not after everything he said. not after he picked tess over me.”

“ellie… that’s– I’m so sorry, that’s so much worse than I thought it would be,” you faltered. you couldn’t find enough words, or the right words, to express the deepness you felt for her. “I’m sorry I didn’t try to reach out. I’ve spent years wondering about you, I should’ve made an effort.” ellie tried not to focus on the admission that thought about her, and shrugged.

“you didn’t know, nobody did. joel and tess were quiet about sarah’s death, quiet about their divorce, and when tess finally died, joel lived his life in the quiet. he hardly leaves, doesn’t have guests or friends.”

“I’m still sorry, els. truly.” ellie almost folded. “I have an appointment in half an hour, could we do this again? I’ll bring food, I can cook for you if you’ll let me.” ellie bit her lip, filthy images of you cooking for her (and doing other things for her) flooding her mind.

“yeah, that’d be great. next wednesday?” you grinned as you both stood up.

“perfect, send me your favorite dishes and I’ll go grocery shopping.” she walked you to the door, hand pressing gently into your lower back as she reached around you to the doorknob. your skin was on fire, you were sure you were blushing. through the thin material of your shirt, you could feel every bone in her fingers.

and… the drive to your appointment was nothing short of vulgar. well, vulgar to you. for someone like ellie, your unruly thoughts of her arms and fingers would probably just be considered slightly strange. but to you, your thoughts of her fingers curling against the curve of your waisted, or her arms pressing against your skin was dirty. no woman of god should think of another woman in the way you were thinking about her.

“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28.

unfortunately for you, your indecent thoughts didn’t stop at your doctor’s appointment, or in the car on the way home, or as you talked to your mother as you helped her prepare dinner. so, when you sat down at the square table, taking your brother’s hand and your father’s hand, you prayed.

that’s all you did, for the rest of the week -

you prayed at every meal and before you when to bed. you prayed when you woke up, when you brushed your teeth, when you dressed and undressed. you prayed for a clean mind, and you prayed for ellie. Everything about ellie. you prayed that she found healing for her wounds, and that she would be blessed with food for the table and therapy if she needed it.

prayers weren’t the only thing on your mind, though, no matter how much you begged god to cleanse your thoughts.

when the lights were off and the house was quiet, she crept into your mind. and for a while, you let her. you let yourself wonder what her hands might feel like on your skin, or what she might do to you if given the chance. how her voice would sound as she whispered filthy things into your ear in the dark, or if the tattoo traveling down her fingers had a sinister meaning; maybe that was the hand she used when she did things to other women. women that weren’t you, because she hardly knew you and it was obvious that she didn’t have a thought of attraction towards you.

but what if she did?

ellie was going just as crazy as you were, but in a totally different way - an actually crazy way. she was out of her mind over everything about you. you coming to her house only made it worse. she spent hours perched in her spot, watching you sleep, fucking recording you. she smelled her pillows in the living room while getting off because your perfume had found its way onto them. you coming back on wednesday almost scared her. she couldn’t possibly keep herself sane with you around. the only reason she could the first time was because you two were talking about sarah. but this time, just you and her and dinner? she was utterly and entirely fucked.

when you arrived at her apartment on wednesday night, ellie knew that this would never work out. you were in a pinstripe dress, one that fell much shorter than your mother would’ve ever been okay with if you hadn’t snuck out, and white frilly socks that disappeared into black loafers. ellie was finding a level of obsession with you that rooted itself deep inside her, and it was disgusting. gross, creepy even.

“hi ellie,” you said with your thousand dollar smile. you held up a grocery bag, full of ingredients for shrimp scampi. “I got everything we’ll need. my mom gave me one of her fancy recipes, so we’re set for the night.” for the night. ellie wondered how late she could get you to stay. she also wondered how much you’d hate her if she locked you up here forever.

you slipped your shoes off your feet and trotted into the kitchen, setting out all of the materials and pulling the recipe up on your phone. ellie leaned against the wall, arms crossed, as she watched you methodically arrange everything in order of steps. “are you just gonna stand there?” you joked, beginning to open some of her cabinets.

“nope, just waiting for instructions, boss.” she couldn’t help but flirt. maybe if she flirted enough you would stay the night.

with how bossy you were in the kitchen, ellie could only imagine how bossy you’d be in bed. Insisting on what you wanted and making her do it. she also wondered if maybe it was the opposite. maybe this was all a trick, and you really needed someone to tell you what to do all the time. only time would tell - but ellie was impatient.

the kitchen was extremely cramped, and though most days ellie hated this, today it gave her a perfect in. you had the cabinet door open and she needed something on the far side of you. so, in order to touch you, she gingerly grabbed your hips while you bent over to look in her low cabinets and slid behind you, crotch pressing into your ass for a single beat before she made it to the other side. it would’ve been so easy to just push her pussy against your ass and grind, but she had a little more dignity than that, even if it’s what her body begged her to do.

“sorry ‘bout that, babe, gotta grab a bowl over here.” ellie spoke in the sluttiest voice she could muster, and she could tell by the deer-in-headlights look on your face that her plan was working.

a warm feeling rushed through you, from your chest all the way down to your core. you were fluttering all over - the feeling of her hands being on you was just so right. you almost begged for her to come back, grab you like that again, see where it went. you couldn’t think about god anymore, not when she was touching you and calling you babe.

an hour and a half later, the food was finished and you two had eaten, and you gathered on the couch next to each other, same spots as last week. ellie had a movie on, and when you folded your legs beneath yourself to get comfortable, she could see your panties. they were light green, but that was the most she could tell. if she could get them off of you tonight, she could keep them - that’s what she was thinking about.

you were trying not to focus on her hands. her hands. they were right there, so close, begging to be touched. as the moving progressed, you became more and more entranced by them. the way she tapped her thigh and sipped her drink, it was all fascinating. “ellie,” you said, before you could think twice, earning a hum in response, “can I touch your hand?”

her brows knit. “my hands? why’d’ya wanna touch my hands, doll?” a flush of blush fell on your face as you tried to construct a good reason as to why you just asked to touch the poor woman’s hands.

luckily, though, she didn’t push. she simply moved her hand and let you grab it, waiting a minute before beginning to trace the intricate lines of her tattoo. it was calming before anything else. the bottom of the tattoo was just basic, black-filled leaves, while the top was detailed and complex. ellie’s hands were warm, and her fingers were beginning to develop calluses. when you glanced around the room, you spotted the guitar responsible, and let your mind wander onto whether that made it feel better.

ellie was, by some miracle, keeping her cool. that was, until, your fingertips danced away from her hand, sliding up her forearm. her heart beat faster, making her breath quicker. she was getting dizzy. there was no possible explanation for this, other than her obsession with you. this wasn’t normal; she never got this worked up by something so miniscule with other women (not that there had been other women for the last year, she was too busy following you home and watching you through your window).

“ellie,” she looked over, and you were closer now. you must’ve moved while she was busy in her head. your face was so close that she could almost feel you breathing. and when she met your eyes and your pupils blew, big pretty doe eyes staring back at her, it was over.

ellie’s lips on yours were like nothing you had ever felt before. if there was any heaven, it was right here, on ellie williams’ couch, as she grabbed the back of your head with her open hand and pulled you closer to her. moments ago you were going to ask her if you could sleep over (it was dark and it had begun to rain), but none of that mattered now. all that mattered was the way ellie’s lips moved against yours, and the way she forced your mouth open to suck on your tongue. and you could taste her. you could feel her kisses deep down in your bones, and certainly in your cunt, which was what was leading your thoughts.

ellie was violent. she didn’t waste any time grabbing your hips and dragging you onto her lap, sliding her hands up from your hips to your waist. finally, finally, you knew what it felt like to have her slender fingers wrapped tightly around your waist as she continued to suck your tongue. you placed your hands on her chest, balling up the fabric of her shirt and pulling her into you.

but, in that moment, it hit you. you were doing something terrible, something completely out of your character. lust was a deadly sin. you can’t ignore deadly sins.

you pushed ellie back and she pouted, lips swollen and wet. “we can’t do this, its-it’s not what god wants, it’s a sin, els. I think that god sent me to you to help you heal and you-you really can’t heal by sinning.” midway through your sentence, ellie’s lips latched onto your neck, spinning her tongue and sucking your skin.

“sweet girl, I promise you you can.” she went back to kissing your neck, hands sliding underneath the skirt of your dress and up your thighs. she had her hands on your hips in no time, gently guiding them down against her crotch. the seam of her jeans felt good against your cunt, there was no denying it - which led you to wonder why people couldn’t do this. why is something so good such a terrible thing in god’s eyes?

“ellie,” you moaning her name made her moan; all of her wet dreams were finally coming true. she had you here, hips grinding down against her pussy while you moaned her name. there was nothing in the world better than this. “ellie I’ve never done this before.” you whispered, which got you nowhere. instead, she groaned deeply into the crook of your neck, restricting herself from bucking her hips into yours.

“oh but baby I’ve watched you grind against your pretty pillow for too many nights to hear you say that,” you whined, hips jerking into her lap.

“what do you mean?” you pulled her off of your chest, briefly admiring her pink cheeks and light pant before redirecting your focus to the more important portion of the question.

“I used to watch you from your window in my car,” her head fell against your chest. “you used the same pillow every time. it’s light pink, with flowers. matches your bedspread.” your head was spinning. there was no possible way that you were hearing what you thought you were hearing.

“what the fuck,” you sputtered. “you watched me do something so incredibly private? something that’s only supposed to be between me and god? how disgusting are you?” your only problem with what you were saying was that something inside you wasn’t disgusted. something inside you longed to know what she thought about while she watched you, longed to know if she thought you looked good.

“I’m so fucking disgusting, baby,” she huffed, “I’ve spent all year thinking about how I could tear you apart. make you forget about god, break you. make humping your pillow feel like less than nothing compared to the way I make you feel.” you were wet. so incredibly wet that your mind couldn’t be bothered to think about the fact that she was borderline stalking you.

“show me,” you whispered, making her head snap up and her wide eyes meet yours, blazing.

“what?” she said, quickly, hands still firmly planted on your hips.

“show me how disgusting you are.”

ellie was stronger than you thought. her hands were steady as she carried you from her couch to her bed, practically tossing you onto the springy bed as she pulled her shirt off, leaving her in a simple black sports bra. she climbed over you, one arm next to your head and the other on your waist, squeezing it. “I need this dress off,” she insisted, tugging at the material.

you sat up, unzipping the back and pulling it off your upper body before falling back and letting her pull it off your legs, leaving you in a strapless bra and a pair of panties. she was on you immediately, hardly leaving herself any time to toss your dress into a pile with her shirt.

her lips fell upon your chest, kissing along the edge of your bra. she pulled it down from your tits, guiding your back into an arch so that she could unclip it. once she had it off, she was moaning into your skin as she ran her tongue along your nipple. pressing a knee against your crotch to give you something to grind against, she caught your nipple in her mouth and sucked, pressing on the underside with her tongue, hitting the perfect spot that made you whimper against her.

this was terrible. for both of you. you were sinning against god, the one man that truly knew you. but it made you wonder, maybe he didn’t truly know you. not if he condemned you to a life of hiding your attraction to women because it was against him.

and for ellie - ellie was in heaven. but this moment in time meant that she was never going to let you go. her obsession grew with every noise you made under her, so much so that the idea of locking you up here swam across her mind again. she needed you here. she needed to ruin anyone else for you, so that you would always come back. even if it meant you crawled on your hands and knees.

once ellie was done with you tits (which took a very long time), she traced her lips over your sternum and down your stomach, leaving a trail of hickies in her wake. she was like a woman mad when she made it to your panties. she was filthy, pressing her face into you and simply breathing in your smell, basking it in.

but, when she finally pressed her tongue against you, none of her behavior mattered anymore. there were no longer thoughts -worries- about the fact that she watched you during the night, or that she was simply breathing in the smell of your cunt. it was her and you, and you were forming into one being, driven by need.

ellie lapped at you like a dog over your panties, even if it got her nowhere. once you were begging her to take them off she did, peeling them away from you and tucking them in her back pocket. she licked fat strokes from the bottom to the top, flicking against your clit in all directions. every time she hit the perfect spot, your legs shook hard, and your head lolled back against the pillow.

though your hand was in her hair and you could probably hold her anywhere that you wanted, you let her take charge, eating you like her life depended on it. like it was her last meal. she slid her tongue in you, sucked your clit, anything she could do to make you as wet as possible.

gently, she pressed the tip of her middle finger against your opening, unrelenting with her pace against your clit. you hardly noticed with the waves of pleasure rolling through your body, until you felt the slight burn of the small stretch from her fingers. now, her fingers weren’t all that large, but they were boney and long, and when her first finger bottomed out, you were already seeing stars. you were panting her name, arching and squirming every time she angled her fingers up against the spot you could never quite hit inside you.

pulling away from your clit, she pressed another finger into you, this time creating a slightly uncomfortable stretch. with a couple deep breathes, you were rocking your hips into her hand, trying to get the most out of her that you could. “look at me,” ellie demanded, making your eyes snap to hers. “because you’re a good girl, you’re not going to cum, do you hear me?” frantically, you nodded along to her words, but unfortunately, they didn’t last long.

with ellie’s ceaseless pace and her insistence on hitting every pleasure point she could, your stomach was coiling and your vision was going white, mere moments after telling her you wouldn’t, and surprisingly, she let you. she pushed until your orgasm was over, then pulled her fingers from you and sucked them clean, darkness in her eyes that you had never seen before.

“what did I tell you not to do?” she asked, pushing up from where she was laying and standing up, walking over to her closet and pulling out a large shoe box.

“cum.” you mumbled, a little scared and a little excited. you had an inkling as to what was in the box, but you were unsure, desperate to know regardless.

“do good girls cum when they’re not supposed to?” you shook your head, cheeks flaming in embarrassment. a part of you told yourself that this was crazy and gross, that no one was possibly attracted to this and that you should be ashamed, but the other half craved her approval. craved to be good for her, and to do what she says. and that part overrode the other.

climbing onto and kneeling on the bed in front of you, ellie reached beside you and grabbed one of her pillows, handing it to you before standing back up and leaning against one of the posters of her bed. you looked at her, confused. “since you love coming without permission and humping your pretty pillow, you’re gonna do it for me until you come again. can’t be that hard, sweetheart.”

you knew she wouldn’t let you out of this. with a pout, you sat up, placing the pillow between your thighs and sitting against it, slowly rocking your hips to find a nice rhythm. you leaned forward, planting one hand on the bed below you and the other on the pillow, letting your back relax as you found a good spot. ellie stood before you, doing nothing but watching. she followed your hips as they moved back and forth, eventually coming down hard and fast against her pillow as you chased your release.

historically, humping your pillow never really got you anywhere, but you were too scared to finger yourself, fearing that it would make you impure to whomever your future husband was. turns out, all you needed was an orgasm prior to doing it to make you cum.

with a strangled moan you came again, panting as you unmounted the pillow and looked over at ellie, who looked just about ready to fuck your brains out. coincidentally, that’s what she was planning on doing.

she pushed away from the poster and unzipped her pants, kicking them off as she reached for her box. she didn’t only pull out one thing, no, she pulled out an army. first, a forest green strap attached to a black harness, which she sat on the end of the bed, followed by two other dildos, one black and one pink. you couldn’t fathom what she could possibly need three for, and you had to imagine you were in for a rough couple of hours.

“we’re gonna try some stuff, pretty girl. you’re gonna love it, since you love being stuffed so much.” she grabbed your hips, and, with a tug, flipped you onto your stomach. instinctively, you pushed your hips up, gripping the sheets in anticipation. though you couldn’t easily see her, you could hear her uncapping a bottom and squirting something onto either her fingers or the strap, before squirting it onto you.

the liquid was cold, and she started the drip down your ass, until it crept down your opening. with a toss of the bottle, she pressed one hand between your shoulder blades and used the other to maneuver the strap towards your entrance, starting with just the tip. she took it slow, pushing in inch by inch and letting you adjust to them. this was a different kind of full, compared to ellie’s fingers. the strap was stretching you in all directions, burning as you clung tight to it. and when she finally bottomed out, you were sure nothing would ever feel better than this.

once it was all in comfortably, ellie wasted no time fucking into you. she was going crazy watching the full length of her dick get swallowed up by your soaked pussy, covered in slick and lube and her spit. this was every dream she had ever had coming true.

“we’re gonna try something else now, okay?” you whined in protest, enjoying the feeling of her dick inside you, it was almost familiar now. but she didn’t pull out like you anticipated, instead she reached over and grabbed the pink dildo, lubing it up with whatever she used earlier.

“ellie what are you doing?” you asked, part pant. just for the question, she pulled out and took a deep thrust into you, trying to keep you satisfied while she fiddled with the lube. before you could utter another thought, the second dildo was probing your ass, slowly, cautiously, pressing into your asshole. “ellie!” you whimpered.

“you need to trust me baby. I know my girl wants all her holes filled. trust me, we’re gonna fill all of them.” you whined as she pushed the head of the dildo in your ass, tears welling up in your eyes from the burn. after only a few inches, you were sure you couldn’t take anymore. you were so full, everything pressing into you at every angle. but ellie was persistent - cooing at you until she got the last two inches in, and then groaning like a mad man.

the sight was one to die for: you, face and tits squished into the bed with your ass up in the air, full of her dick and dildo. with one hand on your hip and the other placed back against your shoulder blades, ellie fucked you at a rapid pace, thrusts shaking the whole bed against the wall. not only was she chasing your third release, but she was chasing her own as well, and the way the harness hit her clit when she fucked hard could get her there.

with the sight and the noises you were making, ellie came in no time. you followed soon after, crying from overstimulation and the pure feeling that came with a third orgasm around double penetration. but ellie wasn’t done yet - she pulled out two dildos for a reason, and the other was still waiting for its purpose. she did promise to fill all your holes, after all.

pulling out from you and climbing to the front of her bed, ellie used the suction of the dildo to attach it to her headboard. you wondered if she maybe wanted to watch you fuck against it, like you had seen in a few porn videos over the years, but that wasn’t the case.

“you’re gonna suck that dick while I fuck you,” she instructed, and the idea seemed totally crazy, but when your mouth was lined up with the dildo and she was slipping into you again, you were more than willing to try anything.

with each of her thrusts, the dildo hit the gag of your throat, making you gag and choke and moan. you must’ve looked crazy; tears rolling down your cheeks, drool gathering around your bottom lip and dripping onto her pillow. to her, well, she just came again watching you. she marveled at how far down your throat you could take her dick, reveling on how you had ‘never done this before’.

with a squeal and more gagging, you came for the fourth time and final time of the night, slumping against the pillows beneath you. ellie let up when she came again, making you cry even harder. she pulled her dick out and eased the dildo out of your ass, tossing them back in the box to wash them.

“my girl did such a good job,” she praised as she brought you a washcloth, running it down your thighs and over your pussy. your mind was foggy, too foggy to bother with a response or anything other than crawling under the covers (ellie had to lift them up and tuck you in). “you’ll stay the night, yeah?” the bedside clock read one a.m.

“yeah,” you mumbled, resting your head on her chest and letting your eyes flutter shut. when you awoke the next morning, you knew you would have several feelings surrounding everything that happened, the most prevent knowing that it was absolutely fucking disgusting.

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